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saevus-brutalis · 4 months

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last art this year

was supposed to be for pride month but— ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒.

some lore surrounding these two that is too long overdue but 🤷‍♂️

not as detailed and rambly as i’d like it to be, but i’m really burned out and i’m trying to get back to it🧍‍♂️

nevermind it’s pretty rambly lol

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

all the way back in 2038 Vincent and Ray, after dating for around two years, agreed to leave California together on august 21st — Ragan’s birthday; it was supposed to be his birthday gift of sorts, a start of a new chapter, new life;

buuut Vince, being a little shit teenager, got cold feet (in Ray’s eyes, Vince always justified that as being rational) and ditched him last minute, not showing up in their agreed spot, making Ragan leave on his own after hours of waiting.

this caused Ray to despite his own birthdate, it always reminding him of the heartbreak and betrayal. 🧍‍♂️

Vincent has felt guilty ever since, but firmly believed it was the right choice. he was never fit to live a nomadic lifestyle at such a young age.

four decades later their paths cross again and a long healing journey ensues.

so now this date is pretty bittersweet to both of them 🧍‍♂️ but it gets better overtime

basically right person, wrong time

although i think if they did ran away together then, it wouldn’t have ended good at all 🤷‍♂️ with Vince still being pretty immature emotionally, still struggling with some inner personal things (family stuff, internalized homophobia, etc.) and not familiar with the nomadic culture and ways of living. they’d probably get in bad fights more and more as the time would go on, and eventually split. Vince would’ve decided to go back to Night City probably (if he ever would make it back) and they’d never end up back together has they met in the future.

their separation allowed them to grow and mature on their own, in their own familiar environments, experience different things, and after they met again, after all those years, they put their feelings and mutual attraction to the test

and it turned out they still want each other even with all the imperfections 🧍‍♂️(i’m not crying you are) they could lie all they want but their brain chemistry couldn’t. Vincent never loved someone they way he loved Ragan, and Ray never quite felt the same way with anyone else like he felt with Vince. there was always something missing, something not quite right. and while they could tell each other they’re looking for something too far out of their reach, that they’re looking for a too perfect partner, in reality they always just wanted each other 🧍‍♂️

they still have a lot to work on together in their relationship, but now that they’re too old for teenage fights and too tired for heartbreaks, they make compromises and their fights make their bond and their understanding of one another stronger 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

like we acknowledge that Vince did a shitty thing by ghosting Ray, going no contact and being a puss, too scared to man up, and tell him face to face ‘hey i can’t go, this type of thing ain’t for me’. he didn’t want to acknowledge that, saying that out loud, or even in his mind, would make that real and that scared him. he was definitely a teen who’d rather avoid doing something he wasn’t comfortable with to not experience the uncomfortable feelings altogether. the avoidant type we all know and love 🧍‍♂️

and yet Ray still chose to love him 🧍‍♂️ he’s definitely like ‘this man’s trash but he’s *my* trash’. Vince gets better eventually after Ray finally gets through his thick ass skull.

but also i’m not gonna sit here and say Ragan fixed Vince coz that wasn’t the case 🤷‍♂️ this is not a ‘i’m gonna fix him’ type of situation. Ragan wasn’t and isn’t perfect either, his perspective was kinda askew as well; can’t quite describe it as i haven’t psychoanalyzed him as much as Vincent but they’re both flawed, make mistakes left and right and learn from that (sooner or later) like human beings 🧍‍♂️

but in the end they’re just old men in love

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chiakery · 7 months

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Dropout newsletter this week:

Me:

#AABRIA IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THOSE STOATS I SWEAR TO GOD #so not ready for things to get even more fucked up (and we know they will)#i just want to watch this little weird and delightful family get closer #see jaysohn the karate boy and lila sneaking around to eavesdrop on adults #and tula being a tired but proud mum and showing her more mischievous side when with viola #and thorn - my newest beloved wifeguy #and ofc ava being the most badass grandma to ever grandma #is it too much?? i just want them to be silly and happy together #dimension 20 #burrow's end

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suntails · 11 months

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lead us not

#this comp is directly based on 'lead us not into temptation' by mucha. go look it up the piece looks so GOOD #just #head in hands. this is prob my last piece before the next lore drop so do w that what u will #just give iiiiin silver just follow malleus and trust in the dream worlds hes making!!! duh!!!1!1!!!1 DUH. (lying) (lying) (lying)#he knows BEST let him lead u towards a happy end for the next 1000 years of happy dream worlds. sobibng.#yea so the composition fucked so hard i literally HAD to draw something. im genuinely begging just go look it up. u gotta see my vision #twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #twst silver #silver vanrouge #peep the other chars distorted af in the bg u cant see them well but i swear they were distinct originally #suntails #tumblr gets it first again. congrats u guys r my favs dont tell twitter

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livelovecaliforniadreams · 11 months

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#they better get that happy ending or i will riot #i swear #sobbing #bawling my eyes out #they were so happy and then #just pain #nancy drew #ace x nancy #nancy x ace #alex saxon #kennedy mcmann #gif #gifs #gifset #4x3 #nace #naceedit #naceedits

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clownery-and-fuckery · 2 months

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Take it... I was feeling sappy :")

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Three tired cadets groaned at the question asked into the dark room. They should be sleeping, not listening to silly questions whispered into their safe space.

"Go to sleep." Is the immediate response from the second youngest, who's scowl is thankfully hidden. The first voice pipes up again with a whine.

"M'not tired yet! Please, just answer this one question and I'll sleep!"

"You said that five questions ago, Wrecker."

The oldest sighed. "Answer the question, guys. Wrecker promises to sleep after, don't you?"

"I do!" Wrecker insisted with a muffled laugh that decidedly informs them of his fib. "Promise! Please?"

The second youngest groaned again. "Fine." He grumbled, turning over to face the room. "I don't. Goodnight."

"D'aw, why not?" Wrecker probed. "Everyone's gotta have someone out there!"

"I'm with Wrecker," Hunter, the oldest, admitted into the quiet before Crosshair could snap. "It's a kinda nice thought. To be destined to have someone to call yours."

"It's stupid." Crosshair grumbled. A fourth voice spoke up, soft with sleep as he was pulled from slumber.

"I am in agreement with Crosshair," The youngest slurred, rubbing his eyes. "That would imply there is an even and definite number of people in the galaxy, which there is not."

"You don't have to be born at the same time!" Wrecker protested. "Maybe they're older. Or younger!"

"That does not erase the fact that it is illogical." Tech huffs. "We are not pairs meant to be joined. We are individuals with our own personal definition. To tether us to another would..." He trailed off for a moment. "It is not logical."

Hunter sighed, and tapped Wrecker's bunk. "There's your answer, big guy. Now sleep, all of you. We're up early."

"We're always up early, Hunter." Crosshair grouched. "We know."

The four boys settled for sleep, and just as he felt himself fall under, Hunter heard the barely audible whisper from Wrecker to Tech.

"Wrecker?"

"Hmm?"

"...despite the lack of any tangible means of your theory, and while I do not believe it for a second. I–" A breath of hesitation. "I enjoy the thought of it."

Hunter fell asleep with a smile.

–––

Years later, when they were older, tired but happier than they had ever been. They were on the Marauder, tired but unable to sleep.

Wrecker brightened, after so long of not seeing his siblings, when he could finally turn to face the ship. Face the bunks that had been empty for so long.

He itched to speak. To reconnect, to catch up with his siblings he had missed so fiercely, yet he hesitated. They must be tired, they must be utterly shattered from the last few days, it would be selfish of him to—

"Wrecker?"

—to see out his siblings who were clearly still awake? The brawler jumped. "What's up, Techie?" Wrecker's response was eager, shifting closer to catch the shadow of his youngest brother as he moved slowly.

There was a pause, a pained breath as Tech readjused on his bunk. Wrecker heard Hunter and Crosshair shifting up in unison to help him. "Do you remember when we were small?" Tech started softly, voice tight with the agony of effort.

Wrecker hummed, listening intently for any more signs of discomfort. "When you had asked us about our stance on the existence of soulmates?"

There was a long pause. "Sure I do," Wrecker said, half truthful. "Why?"

"I was giving it some thought." Tech admitted with a sense of sheepishness. "While I was undergoing... extraneous experimentation."

Wrecker couldn't see it, but he could feel the anger that coursed through the room at the mention. "And I've found–" Tech paused again, but this time, Wrecker could pinpoint a small amount of nervousness in Tech's confession.

"–I've found I think I do believe."

Wrecker huffed a laugh. "S'been a long time since I've thought about that," He admitted. "I kinda stopped believing it."

"I do not believe it in a romantic sense." Tech continued. "Not- entirely."

Wrecker thought of Phee, of the private moment he was not meant to see between the two, and kept his mouth shut. "Mhmm." He said slowly.

"Although- the theory behind a 'soulmate' is an unbreakable connection- one that allows the individuals to meet and find each other regardless of the situation."

Wrecker heard Hunter hum in agreement, and Crosshair's quiet, "Get on with it, what's the point?" As he listened intently.

Tech's voice was quiet, but the affection was undeniable. "I believe that, in a sense, that is how I would describe us. The six of us, against all odds, managed to find each other again."

The room went silent, as if Tech had stolen the air from the room.

"If there was ever a chance of other universes," Tech waved a hand. "If such a concept exists, I would very much hope we are together in all of them."

Wrecker swore he heard a sniff. "We-" He hesitated, tears filling his own eyes. "–I'd say we are, Techie. Like any force could drive us apart."

Tech smiled at him through the dark. "I'm glad to know that." He said softly. "It is a nice theory.. one I hope holds weight."

Wrecker slipped off the bunk, joining his brother before gently, oh so softly, hugged him. Leaned back against the wall just like they used to, where the scariest thing to exist was the thunderstorms on Kamino.

There was no more Kamino, there was no more simple fears that were easily chased away.

They were still there, though. That was enough.

In his arms, Wrecker held a piece of his whole galaxy to his chest, sniffling as the rest of his purpose floated into orbit, easing into the single bunk.

Echo had grumbled a complaint of space as he finally was risen to join them. Omega never minded their squished cuddle piles, opting to hold Crosshair around the chest as she slept.

Hunter, ever the eldest, was near enough to all of them, just within reach. Wrecker smiled softly as he felt Tech drifting back off in his arms.

Yes, maybe soulmates did exist. In any form but the traditional, sure, but when had they ever been conventional?

#uh anyways im such a fucking sap #they make me openly weep im PRAYING for a happy ending.#if they dont get it i swear to god.#sw the bad batch #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb omega #phee genoa #techs a huge SAP #might post this on ao3.... who knows

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crazylittlejester · 3 months

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you guys ever write a fic and it’s supposed to be silly and lighthearted but then the silliness becomes bittersweet because the passage of time corrupted with the pain of forced separation has turned childhood memories into painful longing to be back with found family again

and then you just have to sit there for a minute like “what have i done… I’m ruining these characters lives…”

anyways rest in peace Mask and Warriors, you did not deserve what I just did to you

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sunshinediaz · 5 months

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wip wednesday

mm hi pals, i'm working on the christmas fics so i haven't made progress on much of anything in the last few weeks BUT i have decided i want to get the burning house fic done before 14 march and oof, i will hit that goal

anyway, have an angsty snip i've shared before but i've made minor changes so pretend it's new

“You’ve got a lot of nerve bitching at me about Natalia when you’re no better than me.” Buck sneers, an ugly thing that twists his face up crooked and mean. “Marisol, really? I had to drag you to help fix up her place, and now you’re playing house with her?” “Fuck you, Buck. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Buck’s barked laugh is harsh and grating. “You don’t love her and you never will,” he says, shaking his head. “She deserves better than you.” Red hot rage shoves up in Eddie’s throat, acidic and thick. “Get out.” He moves forward and pushes Buck’s shoulders hard, ignoring the way Buck stumbles backward into the refrigerator, knocking off the pictures and nearly toppling over. He won’t hit Buck—never—but he needs Buck gone now. Right now. “Get the fuck out of my house, Buck!” Buck rightens himself, wide-eyed and pale in the face. He holds his hands up in surrender. “You want me to leave?” he asks, small and soft. His anger’s cooled significantly from a moment ago; he looks like a frightened child, full of regret. “Eddie?” No. No, Eddie doesn’t want Buck to leave. How could he? The itchiness in his fingertips and the chill in the center of his chest are only soothed when Buck’s around. But that smolder of fury in the pit of his stomach’s been stoked after too long and he needs Buck to leave before the cap on his wrath loosens and he takes everyone down with him again. “Go, Buck.” The please goes unsaid, unheard. “Get out.”

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon, @daffi-990, @hippolotamus, and @jamespearce9-1-1

tagging @eddiebabygirldiaz, @spagheddiediaz, @jeeyuns, @disasterbuckdiaz, @devirnis, @callmenewbie, @giddyupbuck, @wikiangela, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, @watchyourbuck, @wildlife4life, @fortheloveofbuddie, @jesuisici33, @loserdiaz, @monsterrae1, and anybody else who wants to share <3

#the cool thing about being early to these tag games is that i get little surprises every time i click on the app #which is just awesome?#this fic is phew okay?? it'll end happy but it's divorce era 2.0 AND for my buck is going to break all the way down in s7 truthers #which i'm super excited for because when buck breaks down? eddie does too #anyway i hope u liked it and it WILL be finished before 14 march i swear to god #🫡#tag games

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emprcaesar · 8 months

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arya thinking her story is about revenge but in actuality it’s about her finding her identity is something i’m very passionate about

#her life after kings landing was hiding and taking different names so she wouldn’t die #like ever since she was nine she HAD to be someone else #that one quote that’s like ‘did she just dream up arya stark’ or something like that #LIKEEE #IMAGINE BEING THAT UNSURE #arya stark #asoiaf #book arya #house stark #my babygirl you’ll get a happy ending i swear #get behind me baby girl i’ll protect you

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lukaherehelp · 28 days

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I was thinking about the black brooder and yellow yal romance because of @respectthepetty while I was getting prepared to read the latest book I've bought and, as I was reaching for the it, I just realized: Nico di Angelo and Will Solace from Percy Jackson.

The son of Hades and the son of Apollo. Like, even the fuckin cover screams it:

#the colors mean things #I just started but I swear Rick #colored boys get happy endings

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katierosefun · 3 months

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my cancelled-able trait from the queer community would be that i really apparently love messy endings. i love u happy endings and i also love u such sad, messy, ambiguous endings . . . i love u endings where u have this weird pit in the bottom of your stomach because you know that there's love here but u have no idea what to do with it and u just have to deal with the fact that someone is profoundly affecting your life and you're not gonna get closure from it anytime soon . . . i love u queer love stories where it's really just "u don't always get to see the sunshine and rainbows at the end of it . . . sometimes all that's left is just one big question mark and the quiet hope that they get their shit together" . . .

#caroline talks #don't get me wrong. i love u happy endings. esp when it comes to queer love stories #but i also just. love endings where it's just like. well. u DON'T know for certain whether the characters #are truly going to ride off into the sunset together.#the only thing u know for certain is that they love each other and that they're going to have to grapple with that forever.#maybe it's also just bc like. idk. i took too many film classes and so my head's forever stuck #on this one essay about how some really happy endings feel lifeless.#like how in some ending shots. the characters look like they've had their happy ending. but there's also some weird unease and confusion #and it's like. well yeah. because for every happy moment u get in life. u are still already thinking 'well what's next. what now.'#which is fascinating to me. but also me @ me: god maybe u can just be happy and it's not that deep.#but also. i do love the wonderful ambiguity of just. 'there is so much more to live. so much more to do.'#and i guess it's not just for queer love stories. i think a lot about the ending of my mister.#with lee ji an and park dong hoon walking away from each other but they're happy. u have no idea how their relationship will pan out but u #do know that they love each other.#or like. columbus. with jin and casey. they hug each other and thank each other for being in the other's lives.#and jin says goodbye to casey and casey says goodbye to jin and u have no idea if they'll see each other again. but u know they love each #other so very much. even if they'd only known each other for a second.#or like. beginners. anna and oliver love each other so much and u get this sense that. they're still a little bit uneasy/nervous about how #the rest of their lives are going to go. but they'll try.#or. god. the swearing jar.#the last shot. i think about it a lot.#there is love!!! but u don't always know how the rest of it is going to pan out!!! u just know that it'll pan out somehow!

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livelaughliushen · 2 months

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The endless abyss except Shen Yuan decides the best course of action is to kill Luo Binghe right there and then, because he won’t have to deal with the protagonist getting revenge if his head is sitting on Shen Yuans shelf.

（╹◡╹）

#I feel like a cat dragging in a squirrel carcass for my owner #girls hear me out on this one #I swear I love bingqiu #I just also love pain and suffering #svsss #I need you guys to get this #ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong #mxtx #luo binghe #shen yuan #angst #angst with no happy ending #murdering a child to secure your free will

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alien-from-planet-zog · 8 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIAN JIN! MAY IT BE YOUR LAST…

To celebrate, here are memes I made to roast him, enjoy.

Link Click Season 2 Villains:

Version 2:

Version 3:

#link click #link click memes #qian jin #if they don’t kill this guy I swear…#at the very least he needs life in prison #I just need the twins to be okay…#assuming that our main trio WILL get a happy ending eventually #they’ve suffered enough they have to cmon

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mrhowells · 8 months

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I just realized why Mihyun was painting her rooftop purple in one of the earlier episodes I AM UNWELL

#i swear if she doesn't get her happy ending-#moving #moving kdrama

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dracofeathers · 3 months

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Calling Fic Writers! Story Idea? -Angst-

If this is already something someone has made, ya'll need to link me ASAP cause its been rotting in my brain all week (if not longer) and I very highly doubt I'd ever be able to write it properly LOL. Art? Maybe...

Please excuse my scatterbrained explanation. I'll probably be adding to this as my little angst-loving brain thinks of more details.

-----

So, after x amount of time, Aziraphale returns/escapes to the bookshop from Heaven and being Supreme Archangel....just completely defeated, dazed, exhausted and just about broken/verge of breakdown. I've pictured the scene with or without his wings. Crowley and Muriel are there (or at least Crowley) and are understandably surprised/confused.

He just collapses in a sobbing heap muttering and crying "I'm sorry" "Please" "You/we can't do this" "Why" "I don't want to fall" among other unintelligible words, but doesn't seem to quite be with it enough to attempt to explain whats going on. Maybe he'd gain very slight, brief clarity upon seeing Crowley (who has also been a mess), keeps apologizing, begging for forgiveness (from him? Her? Both? Maybe) until finally passing out.

Of course Crowley steps up and tries to take care of him, and figure out whats going on. Because no matter how mad he might get at Aziraphale, how hurt he was by the end of S2, he'll always return and help his angel, because he loves him. Also I'm positive Crowley already knows Aziraphale didn't make that choice easily, that he hurt the angel as well. Bountiful soft, care-taking Crowley here because I live for it.

Eventually when Azi is a bit more stable, (as he would often rotate between quiet desolate/defeated shell shock, and near hysterical crying in fear and grief) Crowley gets bits and pieces of what happened out of him.

The "Supreme Archangel" position was merely a sort of placeholder/fake title, not an actual promotion. Because why would they want to actually give Aziraphale that kind of power to potentially use against them and their plans? He was dangerous enough

The Metatron (and other angels) lied/manipulated Aziraphale the whole time to get him to do what he/heaven wanted. And to of course separate him and Crowley. Possible eventual threats towards Crowley and others to keep Azi "in line". Book of life?

Plans of course include the second coming as it was mentioned, but I'm sure there are others mixed in. More apocalypse starting schemes etc. Never really give the full details and kept the real plans secret. Jesus only mentioned, never seen (very suspicious). Azi tries to investigate but keeps getting interrupted or thwarted. Kept a very close eye on.

Much gaslighting/mental and emotional abuse and manipulation, slowly wearing Aziraphale down in order to break and better control him. No erasing/changing of memories cause its over done to me.

God is still MIA and no one knows whats going on with Her. The Metatron says he speaks with Her, but lets face it he can't be trusted. Definitely scheming on his own with others, maybe Hell as well?

Aziraphale never falls of course, I couldn't do that to our precious angel. He'd be traumatized enough anyway.

Aziraphale tries to be a good angel so bad it hurts, wants to believe in Heaven and "The Great Plan" but is only ever hurt and betrayed for all his efforts up there.

I WILL MAKE THESE TWO WILL HAVE A PROPER TALK I SWEAR

--------

I just really love hurt/comfort, angst and them taking loving tender care of each other. They would have a happy ending of course. This is how I cope until season 3, don't judge me xD

Also, what I was listening to during this ramble:

youtube

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delta-piscium · 1 year

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part 2 | this is part two to this from Steve's perspective leading up to and including part one | cw unresolved angst [unfinished/for now not being worked on]

31 days until moving day.

Steve burst through the door to Family Video, swinging it open with way too much force.

Robin jumps and opens her mouth, probably to tell him off for scaring her but he speaks before she gets the chance.

“Eddie asked me to move to Chicago with him,” he blurts out, “Robin, he asked me to go with him.”

Her eyes widen, “what did you say?”

“That I’d go, of course,” he huffs. Like it’s even a question? like not going was ever an option?

Robin jumps over the counter squealing and hugs him so tight breathing becomes a little bit hard.

“I’m moving away with Eddie,” he whispers into her hair, awed as he hugs her back. She somehow squeezes him even tighter and they stay like that for a minute until they have to actually do their jobs.

An hour passes and Robin keeps shooting him contemplative looks.

“What?” He finally snaps after getting tired of waiting for her to say what she wants to say herself.

She jumps again like she didn’t realize how obvious she was being, which honestly, she probably didn’t.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Robin,” he whines.

“Okay, just,” she scrunches her face up a bit and Steve knows that face, she’s trying to figure out how to say something to him she thinks he’ll react badly to.

He narrows his eyes at her, bracing himself, “yes?”

“I think you and Eddie are great together, and like I love you both and I am excited for you guys. You know that right?”

Steve nods, doesn’t say anything though, wants her to get to the point.

“I’m just also, maybe, a little bit worried.”

Steve’s eyebrows draw together, “what do you mean?”

Robin is looking around nervously. Something heavy starts to form in Steve’s stomach.

“You haven’t been together for very long and this is a big step. I just don’t wanna see either of you get hurt you know? I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve talked it all through? Because both of you have a tendency to jump into things without thought.”

They haven’t talked it through, not really. Eddie asked Steve to move, he said yes and that was pretty much it. It didn’t feel like they needed to talk it through though? Did they? Usually, they just dealt with things as they became relevant, that had worked for them so far.

Robin must see something on his face because she quickly talks again, backtracking and interrupting his thoughts.

“Not that I don’t think it will be great, you know I just worry about things a lot. This is my anxiety talking. You know what, ignore everything I just said. You two know what you’re doing.”

He doesn’t want her to know she’s already put doubts in his head so even though he’s starting to freak out a little he smiles and shakes his head.

“It’s fine Rob, I’m sure we will talk more with time.”

22 days until moving day.

Steve meant it when he said he and Eddie would talk. Meant to ask about the logistics, meant to make sure they were on the same page, he really did. But every time the move comes up Eddie just seems so sure about it already. Steve doesn’t want to make him think he’s having second thoughts. Thinks maybe it’s better to not say anything, to wait and let it come up naturally.

He thinks maybe they’ll talk about it tonight. The kids had joked about them all evening, about how fast they were moving.

Mike had made some snarky comment about them moving to a city where they knew no one and how awkward it would be if they crashed and burned and they’d have to share a bedroom.

Eddie had laughed, said it was good they weren’t gonna crash and burn then. But, he’d also added that his band was also going so actually he would know people.

It was just jokes, Steve knew that. That didn’t make it any less true though. Steve wouldn’t have anyone except Eddie, sure he liked the guys in his band but they weren’t his friends. Steve would have Eddie and Eddie would have his band. It suddenly seemed like a big deal.

He expects Eddie to also feel it, to get worried and bring it up but he doesn’t. If he is worried he isn’t saying anything, just like Steve isn’t.

8 days until moving day.

There’s a knock on Steve's door and when he opens Gareth is standing there. Steve is a lot confused about it but lets him in.

“Uh,” he starts a little unsure, “do you want anything to drink or?” He offers, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say or do.

Gareth shakes his head, looking about as uncomfortable as Steve feels. Shuffling around where he’s standing and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. “No, I’m gonna leave again soon. I just came here to say something.”

Steve gestures for him to speak, “I’m listening.”

Gareth doesn’t immediately say anything, he shuffles some more and looks around the room before his eyes land on Steve again, a determined look in them.

“Look, I like you. I know Eddie loves you.”

Steve can’t help but smile a little at that, even though he’s starting to suspect he’s in for a shovel talk.

“And like, I probably wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t dated for very long at all and are about to move in together in a city four hours away.”Gareth pauses and waits to speak again until Steve nods, showing he’s listening.

“Eddie does things without thinking. He doesn’t think about the consequences, not anything, just does. I love that about him, it’s the reason our band has gotten anywhere at all, but it also means that he gets hurt a lot, disappointed a lot. He can handle it with most things, he won’t be able to handle it with you.”

“What are you saying?” Steve asks even though he’s pretty sure he already knows.

Gareth looks pained but continues, “I’m saying that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure about moving with him, if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”

Steve can’t suppress his flinch. He expected Gareth to say he needed to be sure, that if he wasn’t he needed to tell Eddie. He wasn’t expecting him to say he shouldn’t, no, couldn’t go.

Gareth catches it and narrows his eyes, “I mean it Steve, it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.” He steps closer to Steve, getting into his space. “So, if you’re not absolutely sure,” he pauses, steps even closer, “Do. Not. Go.” He punctuates every word and then he turns on his heel and leaves.

6 days until moving day.

Steve needs to talk with Eddie about it now, can’t ignore it anymore. He isn’t gonna just not go like Gareth told him to do. No, he’ll talk to Eddie and it will be fine.

They’re in his bed together, laying next to each other. Skin touching skin and a comfortable silence between them. Now is as good a time as any.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Mhh?” He hums, shifting slightly next to him.

“What happens if something goes wrong when we move?”

Eddie snorts, “what? Like if we get a flat wheel? I know how to change a wheel, sweetheart.”

Steve smiles despite his nerves, tries to not imagine what Eddie would look like changing a wheel.

“Good to know, but no, not quite what I meant.”

Next to him, Eddie props himself up on his elbow so he can properly look at Steve.

“What did you mean?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear as he speaks. Steve has to focus harder than he’d like to admit to not get lost in it. Even the smallest touches have an effect on him when it’s Eddie.

“What if something happens with us?” His voice is small and he can’t look at Eddie, afraid of what his reaction might be. “Remember that thing Mike said about us not really knowing anyone there? Just, what would happen?”

“Baby,” Eddie gently grabs Steve’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards him. Steve easily follows but closes his eyes.

“Baby, please look at me,” Eddie’s voice is even softer than before, and Steve has always been weak when it comes to Eddie asking him to do things so he slowly blinks his eyes open.

“There you are,” he smiles, face open and tendrils of hair falling around it. He looks angelic and Steve almost forgets what they are talking about, too overwhelmed by the man next to him.

Eddie keeps them on track though.

“Like I told Mike, nothing will happen. We will be fine. But,” he continued before Steve can protest, “if something does, we both have jobs already, we’ve done this right. We will be able to save eventually. Quicker because we’re two people, paying rent and all that stuff on two salaries. If something happens we will have that security.”

Steve relaxes then and Eddie must see it because he grins and continues, “now if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner, princess.”

Steve groans and shoves Eddie away. Mostly to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face just from Eddie calling him princess. Judging by the way Eddie cackles he doesn’t have to see Steve blush to know the effect it has on him.

He reaches out and pulls Steve in against his chest. “Worst case scenario we have to move back. Wayne will probably pretend to be unhappy about it but he’ll let me take over his trailer again. And, I know you have complicated feelings about this house, that your parents are the worst, but you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”

“Okay,” Steve says, his worries mostly calmed.

1 day until moving day.

Steve and Eddie are spending the night apart. Eddie wanting to spend his last night with Wayne and both of them needing to do some last minute packing.

Just as he finishes closing one of the last boxes the phone rings, he’s a bit confused about who would call him right now. His friends all having seen him earlier in the day to say goodbye. Maybe Eddie needs to double-check what time they decided to leave.

He picks up but it’s not Eddie, or even one of the kids, who speaks.

“Steven,” his mother's shrill voice crackles on the other end of the line.

“Hi mom,” he tries to hide his sigh as he speaks, doesn’t have the energy to get into anything with her right now, doesn’t want her to ruin his excitement.

“I thought you were moving to Chicago alone?”

His freezes, when he told his parents he was gonna move he didn’t say he was going alone but he also didn’t mention Eddie. He knew they wouldn’t like it, knew it would be easier to let them assume he was going by himself.

“But I just got off a call with Mrs. Hagan and she told me that Tommy had said you were moving there with- with that cult boy? The one who’s wanted for murder?”

Steve closes his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother hiding his sigh. Fucking Tommy, he’s always had a big mouth but Steve suspects that this hadn’t been him blabbering without thinking. No, Steve thinks Tommy knew exactly what he was doing telling his mom this piece of information.

“His name is Eddie, and he was cleared of all charges. The ‘cult’ was literally just a school club.”

“So it’s true? You’re moving with him?” Her voice is sharp and even just hearing it over the phone makes him flinch.

“Yeah, we’re friends and it’s cheaper that way. We got a better apartment because we’re two people with a job each.” It’s such a simplification of the truth it’s almost a lie but Steve doesn’t think this is the time to come out to her. He hopes the ‘better apartment’ comment will calm her, it’s the sort of thing she cares about after all. Not for his safety and comfort though but for how it will reflect on her.

He’s not sure she actually hears him though because she hisses a vicious, “If you move with him you will not be welcome back Steven, this will be the last time we speak.” Before she hangs up on him.

Steve carefully places the phone back in its cradle, then he’s left standing alone in the living room, both too shocked to move and not really shocked at all.

He’s not close to his parents. Has slowly been understanding just how much they’ve neglected him. He’s been relieved about moving away, about being in another city where he won’t have to see them when they waltz back into town. But to never speak to them again? That’s a whole different thing. He still hoped that they’d be able to fix their relationship. That him not being dependent on them anymore would allow him to stand up for himself. That everything would get better. Now instead, the thing he thought would allow their relationship to get better is gonna destroy it forever.

He debates calling Eddie, wants to tell him what his mom just said, wants to hear his voice, wants to let him make it better. He decides against it, he doesn’t wanna ruin Eddie’s last night with Wayne and he’ll see him tomorrow anyway. He can tell him in the car.

He doesn’t call Robin either, she’ll insist on coming over and he knows she’s on a date with Nancy right now. He doesn’t wanna ruin that either, even though both of them will tell him he’s not, he knows he will be. He goes to bed instead, sleep seems like the best option right now, at least he won’t have to think if he’s asleep.

Moving day.

He ended up not really sleeping at all. Tossing and turning for hours and after finally falling asleep sometime in the early morning he wakes up just hours later from a nightmare. He doesn’t remember what it was about but can feel the lingering panic. He gives up on getting any more sleep, doesn’t wanna risk more nightmares when he’s alone.

He picks at his breakfast, still thrown off from the conversation with his mom the night before and not feeling like eating, so he gives up on that too. He spends the rest of the morning wandering around, touching the walls and the furniture in the house he grew up in. The house he’s been left alone in since he was nine. The house he both hates and loves. The house he will never be allowed to return to after today.

Then the phone rings again, it’s probably his mom calling to ask if he’s decided to stay he thinks. It’s not, it turns out.

“Hi I’m Patricia, I’m looking for Steve Harrington?” A chipper voice says.

“This is him.”

“Okay well, good. I’m calling about a barista job you’re supposed to start with us next week.”

“Yeah?” Steve chews on his cheek.

“I’m so sorry but due to our rent being raised we’re having to do cutbacks. Since you haven’t signed your contract with us yet, it’s the first one to go.”

“You’re firing me?” Steve asks, it’s not entirely right since he hasn’t started yet but it’s all he can think to say.

“Essentially,” Patricia responds, “I’m sorry for the short notice.”

“Okay,” he says, his voice void of emotion, “thank you for calling.”

He hangs up without waiting for a response, he doesn’t have the energy to be polite.

He barely has time to let the information sink in before his doorbell rings. Eddie on the other side of the door with a wide grin on his face.

“Did you oversleep?” He jokes.

Steve’s confused for a second but then he realizes he’s still in his pajamas, that he’s spent the whole morning wandering around like a ghost in his house not getting any of the things he needed to do done.

He hasn’t packed the bag of all his essentials. He hasn’t gotten dressed. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth. What he has done is get fired from a job he never even started.

He sees Eddie’s teasing smile, the combination of it and his sudden joblessness tugs at something in his brain, brings back the conversation they had last week.

“Now, if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner princess.”

He doesn’t have a job. He’ll have to live off Eddie and what little savings he has left. Become a responsibility Eddie doesn’t want, a burden probably.

“Worst case scenario we move back”, “you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”

If he leaves now he won’t be able to come back.

Gareths words play back in his mind too.

“if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”, “it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.”

“I’m not going,” Steve hears himself say as he steps back from the hand Eddie reaches out to him.

“You’re not-“ Eddie looks so confused. “Like today? Do you need extra time? We can postpone by a couple of days but-“

He’s not getting it. Steve interrupts him, needs to make him understand because he can’t listen to him try to come up with solutions.

“No, Eddie. I’m not going it all.”

The words feel wrong in his mouth but he forces them out anyways.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks and it fucking ruins him. He feels his carefully blank expression break, despair showing through.

“I can’t leave Hawkins, the kids,” he has to look away from Eddie as he says this. Knows it’s the only thing Eddie won’t question, knows Eddie thinks he doesn’t mean as much to Steve as the kids do. “They need me.”

“When did you decide you weren’t going?” Eddie asks and Steve didn’t know it was possible but he breaks even more from that, from Eddie not fighting him.

I didn’t, he thinks, I don’t know why I’m saying this now. If you ask me to stop and just go with you I will.

“A couple of days ago,” he lies.

It’s silent then, just their breathing and the distant sound of cars down the street being heard. Eventually, Eddie breaks it.

“Steve?”

His voice cracks in the middle. Steve can hear the plea for him to take it all back and he nearly does, has to swallow the words creeping up his throat before they get out.

“I’m sorry,” he says instead. He turns around, closing the door behind him. Destroying their future and breaking the last bit of his heart in the process.

He doesn’t get more than two steps into the house before his legs give out beneath him. He stays there, sitting on the floor for what feels like forever.

After some time he hears a car drive away and he knows Eddie has left. He feels silent tears start streaming down his face that soon turns into sobs. Making him curl in on himself and gasp for air.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying until he can’t anymore and then just sitting there. But after a while, he’s interrupted by a loud ringing. For the third time in less than twenty-four hours he picks up the god-forsaken phone.

“Hello?” He rasps, his voice dull and raw from crying.

“Steven. You made the right decision and stayed I take it?” His mother asks.

“Yes.” He says and hangs up on her.

#happy ending never got written but they end up happy and maybe on day i'll return to this and write it #once again i apologize for any typos mistakes in general etc I've read through it I swear #part one is like 800 words and this is over 3k idk what happened okay #actually i do i had to fit in more scenes #so uh yeah #there will still be a happy ending i promise but now you get where steve is coming from which is mainly a panic attack tbh #steve baby do not make big decisions while mid anxiety shut down #also talk to people <3 #eddie you know better than to reassure someone because you both have jobs? what are you doing???#it's 5am i swear if this does not show up in the tags ill cry #steddie #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #my writing #my post #steddie angst #dels steddie thoughts

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