#there were worse ways to spend my time

[savagegood]

literally who is doing it like gritty, icône de l'extrême gauche américaine?

#c'est quoi gritty? c'est mon emotional support mascot!!! #someone retweeted the gritty twerk video and i went down a gritty spiral on twitter.... #there were worse ways to spend my time #gritty #philadelphia flyers #hockey #196 #r/196 #nhl #nyc #climate change #barbie #pride #pride month #smokey the bear

[naamahdarling]

.

#ashamed and alarmed to discover that much like teachers #people who work closely with folks who spend a lot of time on the streets #and in shelters #or in buildings that offer services to the disadvantaged #will catch every fucking thing that goes around #just like their clients do #which sucks more for them #by like a whole fucking lot #but also sucks for my boyfriend who needs to do his job which is to help them and would rather not have to do that while sick #but we don't have a choice and they don't have a choice and this work MUST be done #so he has to try to do it anyway and hope he can hold up #desr god he is tough #for a soft guy #it also sucks for me because i catch almost all of it too #we have each been sick three times this year #and i know people do deal with and are dealing with way worse so i feel bad being mad about it #not mad at the people or my boyfriend but mad at the whole situation #this is infuriating and between us this year we could have fulfilled the snot needs of the entire nation if there were a shortage #i hope i don't catch whatever this is #and i hope our immune systems are not so ravaged by the covid we had a year ago that we cannot build a more robust immunity to rhinoviruses #ughhh stupid flesh hovels

[grand-line-shenanigans]

haha Oops

#trigun #trigun 98 #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #millie thompson #listen. listen. trigun 98 is SO GOOD because. because it goes like this: #imagine. You are Meryl Stryfe. You work for an insurance company. You are sent by your insurance company - along with your partner Millie - #to hunt down this guy who has a fucking enormous bounty just because he Fucks Shit Up in every town he visits. The insurance company wants #him under 24-hr surveillance in order to stop him from Fucking Shit Up. You have to find him and then follow him around forever. Also he is #provably Evil and Fucked Up and. you know. he Fucks Shit Up. But you gotta do it. So. You spend FOUR MONTHS looking for this guy. You #follow rumors. You CANNOT FIND HIM. But what you CAN find is this PATHETIC LOSER FUCKING GUY - WITHOUT FAIL - EVERY TOWN you follow the #rumors to. There he is. People keep mistaking him for the guy you're looking for. But he Cannot be the guy! He can't!! Hes pathetic. he's a #wet beast of a man. he's an absolute dumbass. he's a Literal Pacifist. THERE JS NO WAY THAT HE IS THE GUY. #For literally a month at least. you KEEP RUNNING INTO HIM. And every time youre like. 'oh GOD no NOT YOU AGAIN!' and what makes it worse is #Millie goes 'omg hiii mister Vash!! We were looking for you!' and you have to REMIND HER that THIS IS NOT THE GUY!!! #YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY MILLIE!!! WRONG GUY!!! and the Fucking Guy just LAUGHS like he thinks your plight is FUNNY and you despise him. #anyways thjs goes on for like. the first five episodes. and its the FUNNIEST SHIT #ALSO HE KNOWS MERYL AND MILLIE ARE LOOKING FOR HIM. HE DOESNT BRING IT UP. HE SAYS NOTHING. NOT EVEN TO LIE AND DENY THAT HE'S THE GUY #anyway rant over #my art #screencap redraw #id in alt

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#oh wow... #i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day... #all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words: #''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in'' #which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it? #forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me? #pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread? #panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head? #yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)? #isn't that literally what masking is?! #and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem'' #when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?! #you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above] #my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''.... #same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit'' #ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off' #but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one' #and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

[mwagneto]

finished rewatching rtd era. literally took me uhm. two and a half months. in fucking shambles rn

#also 1.5 months of that were just season 4 eps. they're so. hngh. #it took me this long coz i can only watch like 1 rtd ep a day 2 at most. they're all so hdhdhdhd;;;; yknow.. #the way it makes me cry HARDER every single time i watch it is fucking insane #like how am i getting WORSE. I've been watching it for like half my life at this point 😭 #most miserable little guy ever created... houghhhhhgfhfhf☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ #I've been putting this ep off coz i needed to watch it on a day where i had the #energy to spend an hour or two crying so hard i get nauseous but I've been busy and tired 24/7 for months #uni and work and friends taking precious time away from my REAL job (being insane abt some guy on my screen) #dw lb #doctor who

[the-casbah-way]

i think every university student who has a job and studies at the same time deserves everything they want forever actually

#yeah this is about me #i dont think people realise how fucking hard it is to do both and not go insane #ITS HARD ENOUGH TO DO ONE AND NOT GO INSANE #i wish uni would cut some slack to students who have to work and be more understanding w deadlines and stuff #especially bc jobs act like said job is your entire life and expect you to drop everything when an extra shift comes up #work drains me so fucking much that i just have no physical or mental energy left even back when my shifts were only four hours #how do you expect me to go to a shift then go to classes right after and then spend the evening doing mandatory reading #i rlly wanna know how other people manage it. i really dont think there *is* a way to manage it when you are neurodivergent and Sick #do not get me wrong im grateful to have a job and be able to work i just wish i didnt need to so i could focus on uni #i feel like im going to end up with a worse degree class than im actually capable of because i just cant spend the time on uni that i want

[thethingything]

had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time #and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed #and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't #and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do #and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued #so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out #also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick #the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit #and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it #dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed #I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once #like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress #and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious #I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life

[brooklynisher]

Little personal rant/vent thing that I’m hiding because I know people feel bad when people they like feel bad and I don’t wanna accidentally make anyone feel bad for me without warning aaaa

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY SOCIAL ANXIETY IS SO BAD THAT I CAN’T RECORD MYSELF DOING THE PRESENTATION AS COMPENSATION FOR ACTUALLY PRESENTING

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED COMPENSATION FOR MY COMPENSATION

#every year #I am presented with a new thing I suddenly lost the ability of doing #LIKE SURE I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY BUT THIS IS A LITTLE OBNOXIOUS ATP #then again I’m not in therapy #I’m not taking any medication #i’m just sorta letting it get worse #BUT I NEVER NOTICE IT BECAUSE I SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON MY PUTER #Those silly robots #distracting me so hard that I didn’t even realize things were getting worse 😭😭 #rant #vent #I’m on my period yall excuse me if I’m a little more negative than usual #my stuff #here’s to the crushing realization that coping ≠ improving #I mean I improved in other ways #but I think that’s different

[pepprs]

my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm

#purrs #delete later #also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you #gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a #grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of #fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when #she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my #brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no #one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc #the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good #enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was #boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts #but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀 #i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is #a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time. #idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that #don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he #feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop #making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is #(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the #circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or #dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol #)

[astrifurious]

idk what to do with a friend who in a relatively short time period becomes annoying… like even when they’re kind, even when they’re considerate youre annoyed with how they navigate the world and you can’t bring yourself to celebrate them. and every mistake from them pisses you off more than if another friend makes that same error bc your patience with them is much thinner…

#both instances that really annoyed me with them recently related to me losing money in an avoidable way #both times were my fault but something about their response made it worse #but regardless of that idk how much I want to spend time with this person in the future #I know friendships come & go but this isn’t like a gradual fade #I don’t like that person I was cool with has somehow passed by irritation threshold & I don’t think we can talk it out #they’re fundamentally not a person I enjoy anymore maybe & that feels Bad #astricast

[local-moonbat]

Ooooohhhh someone come beat me into a coma please

#life and times of neon #i finally get a job offer after over a year #and it's when my car's busted #thankfully they were able to delay my start date for a week #but then less than an hour after that i get a call from the garage #turns out the damage is way worse than i thought #car's pretty much a wreck #so now ive got like 10 days to find a new car #a month after buying the shuttlecraft #i spend nearly 2 grand on a car that died in less than 8 weeks #I've got no fucking money

[longagoitwastuesday]

This is the piece (and the sketch) I was talking about yesterday in the tags of that one other drawing in my previous reblog

#I hate twitter. It's impossible to find anything and it's impossible to use it as an archive #I *knew* the time around which these drawings were posted by the artist #and yet I had to spend over half an hour scrolling down their twitter media page to find it #ALL FOR NOTHING #Because (and it has happened a lot of times to me on twitter‚ even in my own account) after a certain point back in time #Twitter won't show you more stuff. As if anything too old had been deleted. But it hasn't! It's just unreachable unless you have a link #Or you find a retweet #I remembered I had liked these posts in my personal account where I don't have a lot of things and that's why I was able to find them #But it's infuriating how twitter works #I'm not an artist so idk but it's truly beyond me why artists use it as main media to post their works #It's impossible to find anything if you don't happen to see a retweet‚ follow the artist or twitter suggest the tweet to you #And it's impossible to look for anything after a week if the person is a bit active on twitter #Even worse to go back a decent amount of time because things just disappear for no reason. The tweets are not deleted so why #How can it work this way? How can it work so bad? And it's not even Musk. This happened way before him. It's always been wonky this way #Anyway... I don't even want to say how long I spent yesterday looking for these pieces but here they are haha #Several people liked the other one I reblogged so I wanted to share them #Oh another thing twitter does that I hate is that it dislikes stuff. I go into my likes and even though they are in my likes page‚ #most posts have the heart of having liked it removed. I go to someone's twitter and see a piece of theirs #I *know* I've liked and retweeted and the retweet symbol is marked but not the liked #Thus far I've not lost anything that I'm aware of but I don't trust this at all #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[merry-the-cookie]

2011 is such a good fucking song my dudes my guys my gals my pals this song fuckin slaps it punches you into next tuesday it is so good? hello. 2011 is so good

#did i just spend way too long watching and rewatching the 2011 live performance from the 10year show maybe. maybe so. what about it #i also rewatched (and looped) wildflower live from the james corden thing #ok to be fair i dont exactly loop the whole thing i just. obsessively replayed some parts #for way too long #emphasis on the obsessively #im sleep deprived it makes the Symptoms worse <3 #but on the other hand i love consuming things this way too even tho it can get a lil bit distressing hfjghfjkdgf #just the aspect of like. replaying some bits and scratching that itch #teresa.txt #yes i replayed satisfying drum fills or gestures or riffs many many times til they were ingrained in my brain what about it:

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #13

#the way that Tony always ends up questioning whether or not it’s immoral for him to be happy and have relationships with other people #and ends up just sabotaging his own personal life #we’ve gotten stuff before with him being conflicted over having to divide his time between being Iron Man and being Tony Stark #and whether or not one of them does more good so it’s selfish of him to spend time as the other #and we’ve gotten stuff with his weak heart and how he thinks it’s wrong for him to have close relationships when he could die at anytime #and hurt the other person #(which is a situation he makes worse by straining his heart as Iron Man) #now it’s about whether having feelings for other people would impede his duties as Iron Man #this all just comes across as Tony specifically having issues with just being a person #rather than anything inherent to being a superhero #and it’s great I’m finding him really interesting #also I appreciate Janice’s line that ‘if your bodyguard were here I’d kiss him… armor plate or not!’ #I think just because I’m only reading through Tony’s solo comics right now and not his Avengers appearances #I’m not really seeing people be friendly with Iron Man so much #marvel #tony stark #janice cord #my posts #comic panels

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

I have a burning knot in my stomach right now🥺

#going back to work this afternoon #things got even worse as of last Wednesday afternoon #they took away the drawers beneath the counter where we KEEP ITEMS WE ACTUALLY NEED TO SERVE OUR CUSTOMERS #and paneled over every nook & cranny on our side of the desk so no one stores their stuff their #the locker room is a 10 minute walk there and back so now I will leave my things in my car #including my laptop - which absolutely sucks #I had to request they leave us a trash can & tape dispensers because we need tape at least every third customer #the store manager is an airhead asshole that makes 140K plus a year #but instead of thinking of ways to BETTER SERVE THE CUSTOM #ERS #she spends her time coming up with ways to make associates feel even more like we are in prison #they also issued an edict to devote one of our three registers to returns only #when a majority of our work these days is financial services #when I left on Thursday the line was - no lie - 20+ people deep & most were financial services customers #honestly before any salaried managers are allowed to make such business altering decisions they should be chained to the area in question #for a taste of exactly what we do & what we need in practical terms #Hellmart