#there is a difference to using your chemistry in the respect of the partner and performance and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astrababyy · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/astrababyy/738088417973420032/one-thing-i-really-liked-about-feyre-in-the-first

This post of your makes me wonder if SJM wasn't a onetrick pony and respected her own stories and actually wrote characters and not tropes of girlboss ™️ what would've feyre's character trajectory looked like? I'm interested to know what do you think her arc would've been?

I sometimes feel like the problem isn't even Feysand being a ship it's SJM molding Feyre (& nesta) so they are similar to their bat boy mates. Because like there's S&B with darklina being it's most popular ship. Sure it's not endgame and that's because Leigh didn't completely change Alina's whole personality to fit the darkling. Alina got to keep the characteristics that made her who she is which is what made the chemistry between the two interesting too unlike in SJM's stories where she obliterates her fmc's entire personality to fit their male li and in doing so it ruins any appeal in the "ship" itself. Feyre/Feysand and Nesta/Nessian are both examples of that.

hello, anon! i rarely ever receive asks regarding meta or characterization so thanks so much for this lol <3

as i stated in the post you linked, i do believe that feyre's natural arc would've had some sort of internal conflict regarding both her trauma from under the mountain and her being turned into a faerie. i feel that rhysand's comment about her "human heart" could've been emphasized better in the second book and would've served as an interesting contrast from rhys, her established mate in the story. their morals are vastly different from each other; how does this change their relationship? would feyre accept him for who he is? would she judge him, scorn him, try to help him?

especially in regards to the impending war, i think feyre struggling with her newfound fae instincts, being different from who she used to be, and trying to reconnect with who she used to be while accepting who she is now could've been very profound and paired well with her struggles with the trauma she faced from under the mountain.

the major issue with feyre's characterization is how she was molded to become rhysand's partner, rather than being able to fit with him naturally and seamlessly. the same issue occurs with nesta and cassian's relationship, where her character has to be altered just to fit in with the person cassian is. in feyre's case specifically, it got worse as the books went on. feyre gradually became less and less alike to her old self without a clear reason for why she was changing in that way. as i stated before, her becoming a less violent-averse person due to her faerie nature is understandable and would've been a wake-up call considering her transformation, but feyre becoming less empathetic and understanding of the plight of the lower classes, becoming so much more okay with spending money carelessly, supporting rhysand's frankly corrupt government structure, etc. are all ooc.

feyre, as a character, had a lot of potential and could've had that transition into becoming this warrior queen without losing all her morals and beliefs, becoming a vessel for the pro rhysand agenda. it's truly unfortunate that her character had to devolve in the way it did.

#sjm critical #astrababyy #feyre archeron #acotar #acotar meta #astrababyy asks #anti rhysand #anti cassian #nesta archeron #anti sjm

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hellyeahscarleteen · 7 months

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"When people ask about lowering their standards and whether it's worth it to do so, the answer to that question depends on what those standards are. You didn't describe yours in detail, so I don't have much to go on, but in general, I'd divide what people tend to call "standards" into two types of criteria used to evaluate potential partners.

The first type includes preferences for physical traits or general personality characteristics: someone might want a partner who's tall, interested in musicals, able to afford fancy dates every week, or from the same religious tradition as their own family. These are subjective preferences, and everyone's list will be a little different; there's no one ideal body type or personality that everyone prefers, of course.

You don't ever need to force interest in someone when you just aren't feeling it, but it can be helpful to make sure you aren't dismissing people out of hand if they don't align perfectly with your preferences. If you have chemistry with someone who isn't your usual type, it may be worth it to take a chance on them even if they don't tick off all the boxes on your ideal partner checklist. I wouldn't call this "lowering your standards," to be honest, because that could wind up being pretty insulting to the person in question, but you could call this something like re-evaluating your criteria or pursuing a person you may not have normally expected to go for.

In fact, I'd encourage you to rethink how you're approaching the idea of low vs. high standards altogether.

As I mentioned, a lot of what people offten call "standards" are personal preferences, and different people have their own priorities when it comes to who they want to date or be sexual with; it's all subjective. Expanding this kind of dating criteria doesn't mean you're going to be dating a "lower" class of person, and vice versa, and framing your preferences this way can wind up being pretty disrespectful to people who just don't line up with your personal ideals.

There is another type of criteria people have for relationships that I don't think it's a good idea to compromise on; these are standards about the basic levels of kindness, care and respect people expect from a partner.

It makes a lot of sense to only date people who are honest and trustworthy, who respect your limits and communicate their own, and who value you as a person. While I think it can be good to step outside of your regular "type" when it comes to physical or personality preferences, compromising on how a person treats you, even if they're attractive, charismatic, or otherwise appealing, is usually a recipe for eventual heartbreak, as well as potential abuse. Someone can be the best-looking person you know, but if they treat you badly, they won't be an appealing partner for long, and they'll likely start looking worse to you over time as well."

Mo, Should I compromise on valuing myself?

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futbol16 · 1 year

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As your Captain ・ Barcelona Femení

This one is for these two requests although I have slightly changed it, I might have forgotten what the original request was, but I hope you enjoy!

Requests: "Can we have some angst/hurt with Barcelona girls or lionesses?"

"Hopping in on the request because you are the best 🤩🤩🤩🤩 Would you write one where the girls wrongfully got the message that Y/N would move to Lyon or worse Real Madrid and the team gives her the cold shoulder and very angry training sessions, Y/N notices after a few days and every attempt of dialogue fails. Having enough Y/N lets all her frustration out when no one expected it, lots of tears and anger and most importantly disappointment. She disappears for hours and it's freezing cold and the girls in the meantime found it was a lie to jeopardize the time. They’re all frantically searching for her and trying to call, she comes to training the next morning, none of the girls sleeps, soaked in rain and not able to talk to her cold temperature and shivering. She catches a intense flu and the team has absolutely never felt worse"

Word count: 1,9k

The final whistle of the match is blown and you excitedly run towards Mapi before jumping on her back and the two of you join the rest of the team celebrating.

Your team had won 5-0 to Real Madrid with you assisting a goal and scoring one of your own as well.

As you glance over to the other side of the field you take in the way Misa lazily picks up her goalie gloves she had previously thrown to the ground. A frown takes over your features when you see her try to wipe her tears away, tears that obviously weren’t anywhere near stopping.

You were always one to respect your opponents especially if they were on the same national team as you, you had seen the way Misa desperately tried to get her team together in the match. She was captain and truthfully she was the only one actually playing for Real Madrid today.

You don’t wait long as you make your way towards her and gently pull the taller girl into your arms, whispering praises into her ear as you try to comfort her.

Misa was your friend on the Spanish team and you knew she’d be more disappointed in her own performance than anyone else’s.

She holds onto you as well, burying her face into your shoulder, occasionally nodding at your words and she thanks you when you tell her you need to get back to your team.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by the Barca girls, or the cameras and fans at that and they all watched, confused.

No one thinks about it for too long though as you and the girls get back to the locker room and celebrate the wonderful win.

A few days after the match you notice the sudden change in air from your teammates.

You feel their eyes on you, watching your every step, yet when you’d turn around they would already be busy with something.

They also haven’t said much, at least not to you which was very unusual as usually you and most of the younger girls would be joking around, loudly laughing at each other whenever you got the chance.

Not now though.

Training has been a bit different, your training partner, Patri had switched with someone else and now you had Marta.

It’s not that you didn’t like the girl, you really did, but you were used to training with Patri and her switching up without a word left you hurt and confused.

You knew the defenders on your team could be aggressive, but what you were experiencing right now was far from how teammates would challenge each other.

Their main target seemed to be you and you only. Tackles were sent your way left and right at every drill and you were sure that someone also tripped you up on purpose when you were walking to the back of the line.

It hurt. You didn’t know why they had been avoiding you and why so suddenly. You had thought over everything you had done in the past week that could have made 22 people have it out for you, but nothing came to mind.

Team chemistry was off. It was obvious to you, to your teammates and most importantly to the coach and staff members.

Jonatan had also taken notice of how you seemed to always end up on the ground in drills that on any other day you could have done in your sleep.

It isn’t until you’re clutching your ankle, laying on the turf as you try to breathe through the pain, that he actually intervenes.

As a medic makes his way over to you, Jonatan calls your name from not too far at the sidelines.

“Y/L/N, I want you in my office after practice!”

Your ankle had been fine after checking it out but you did have a small limp as you walked into the coach’s office, ready to talk with him.

As you take a seat in front of Jonatan, he doesn’t waste time as he gets right into it.

“Y/N I’ve noticed how the team isn’t connecting and I know you have too. As captain, and especially now since Alexia isn’t here, I need you to figure out what happened.

Whatever it is, you need to fix it, talk to them. We can’t go into a match like this.” you nod at his words and as you get excused, you immediately walk to the changing room where you knew the rest of the girls would be.

For the first time in a week they acknowledge your presence as you walk in and instantly take notice of the hard look on your face.

You looked mad, something that scared them since you rarely showed this side of you to them. The girls in the room freeze in their movements as they look up at you, silence overtaking the room and they watch as you slightly limp towards your bag.

Shoving your shin guards into it you also turn towards them. Your voice is cold and eerily emotionless as you start to speak.

“I have no idea what happened or if I’ve done something but it’s clearly affecting our performance as a team and I won’t have that. I’m telling you this as your captain, if you don’t get yourselves together and communicate what you’re feeling then I’ll gladly sit you out on our next game.

As captain it is my job to take care of the players but I can not do that if you guys ignore my existence. This is unacceptable and I don’t think I deserve this!”

The last part is spoken harshly and some of the girls visibly shiver at your tone.

Looking around the changing room most of your teammates’ heads are lowered, a guilty look on their faces, but Mapi, Patri and Mariona glare at you, a look you can only give back to them.

You leave the room at the silence you receive and make your way to one of the other offices.

Back in the changing-room Irene takes the team's silence as her chance to speak up, she had been one of the few who hadn’t totally ignored your presence after the ElClásico.

The barca team finds themselves in Jonatan’s office less than fifteen minutes after you’ve left and Jonatan looks at them panicked as he’s bombarded with questions.

“What? Repeat that question?” he asks as utter confusion and surprise is written all over his face.

“Has Y/N already signed with Real Madrid?” Aitana questions again, this time saying it slower, but the coach only stares at the group of football players standing in front of him.

They shuffle uncomfortably under the man’s gaze before he talks.

“Now where the hell did you hear that from?” it’s now the team’s turn to stare at him now as they take in what he’s saying.

“So wait, Y/N isn’t transferring to Real?” Patri is the one who voices her thoughts first.

“No, no of course not!” Jonatan laughs at the idea of you ever wearing the Real Madrid badge over your heart, you had made your distaste towards the club clear to him.

“But everyone keeps talking about it!”

“Who’s everyone? Girls, don’t tell me you got this information from the internet, you didn’t believe another rumor now, did you?” the coach looks at them expectantly before sighing at their guilty faces and he rubs at his face for a second.

“It was only because of the whole Lyon thing from last time, people kept saying she’d transfer to them and well, yeah, we believed another rumor.” Pina admits, her voice growing quieter by the end.

“But we also discussed last time that it was only because she signed the contract extension with Barca late, right?” they nod at his words.

“Look, I understand that you misunderstood the situation and I now also know why you guys haven’t been doing too well in training, but this is very immature of you all.

No one is transferring anywhere unless your captain or I say so. And the way you’ve handled this is disappointing, Y/N is your teammate, she’s family and family shouldn't be treated like this.”

As he lectures the girls, they all nod along, admitting they’ve been wrong and that they’d like to fix it.

“Y/N is in another meeting right now, but I suggest you talk with her first thing tomorrow at training.”

When the team walks into the training center the next day they take notice of your bag already sitting in your cubby, or rather still sitting there.

Training soon starts and as they try to get a look at you they see the dark circles under your eyes and your somewhat puffy cheeks. You looked exhausted and you were barely halfway through training.

A sloppy move from Lucy results in you sitting on the turf as you try to catch your breath and she is instantly standing in front of you, helping you up and apologizing.

You dismiss her and start towards the beginning of the drill when you stumble slightly. The brunette is there to catch you when your body decides to give up and you pass out.

The team runs over worriedly as the medics make space to get you off the field. They watch as you’re carried into the medical room before having to resume practice.

Thirty minutes later they’re all crowded in the unusually spacious medical room and Claudia takes a hold of your hand when she sees the state you’re in.

You have cooling rags placed all over your body and you look exhausted as you breathe slowly. The medic fills them in on the diagnosis, telling them that you’ve got a fever and have also overworked your body.

When some of the girls look at her weird she goes into detail.

“Y/N stays the night at the facility sometimes to get in extra training or work on something. Security has gotten used to her being here at this point and let her have the pitch to herself for the night.

Unfortunately Y/N over here has forgotten that temperatures have dropped during the night and she’s caught a cold now.” she tells them with an amused chuckle and the team looks at you sadly.

Mapi walks over, gently running her finger through your hair and she smiles when you lean into her touch slightly.

A sneeze breaks the team out of their trance and you reach for a tissue as you blow out your nose.

The room is immediately in chaos as everyone tries to apologize for their behavior and you smile up at them gently when both Pina and Mapi explain the situation.

As they calm down a bit they make a show of apologizing to you one by one before promising that they wouldn’t believe another rumor unless you’d tell them yourself.

You’re taken care of by your teammates for the next week until you get better and they shower you in love and small acts of kindness, still feeling incredibly bad for how they’ve treated you.

You soak up the love you’ve missed out on, but you still couldn’t have asked to be part of a better family.

Barcelona was your home and you wouldn’t trade it for any other team.

#woso imagine #woso one shot #woso x reader #barca femeni x reader #mapi leon x reader #claudia pina x reader

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marimayscarlett · 8 months

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rank your richard ships?

Well, this is going to be relatively easy:

Paulchard (Paul/Richard)

Absolutely amazing chemistry , very tender, loving and tactile with each other and they give us as fans a ton of "material" which other fandoms could only dream off. Lots of history with each other (so lots of different emotions between them), conflicts in the past which they worked on and seemingly overcame and overall just, for me, the picture-perfect ship of Rammstein.

2. Olichard (Olli/Richard)

A kind of lonely shipping experience I must say (since on here not many people seem reckognize the absolute potential of this ship), but I love them so much. Very tender, cute, down-to-earth with each other, numerous supportive and sweet moments during concerts (but not as 'in your face' as with Paul) and the fact that they've known each other for so long and seemingly got along well even after the Mutter disaster really warms my heart. There's a gif floating aroung on here (sadly I can't seem to find it anymore), which shows Richard and Olli nuzzling their foreheads toghether while playing. I think about this gif at least 3 times a day currently

3. Schneesh (Schneider/Richard; not even sure if that's the true ship name)

They're just so, so cute together. Period. Since Schneider also seems to be like a very tactile and cuddly person just as Richard is, plus also very emotional, they would fit very well in my mind. Just vibing together and 95% hands all over each other I guess.

(Just for the record: They all have family and Paul, Olli and Schneider are in seemingly very loving relationships with their partners. So we as fans should respect this, shipping is just for fun and no, I don't think anything is going on behind the scenes)

#yes I know there's no Tillchard on this list #because I myself don't feel it #for me they're very close friends who went through a lot together #but shipwise Till is forever married to Flake in my mind and that's it #Richard kruspe #rzk #rammstein #oliver riedel #christoph schneider #paul landers #olichard #paulchard #schneesh

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rickfucker · 1 year

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What would you say are some particular traits in a partner that Rick would appreciate? Or something about someone that would maybe them stand out? (perhaps you've mentioned something like this before but my memory is bad, plus I love how you interpret Rick sm)

Love this ask! It’s easy to come up with a pretty comprehensive list of traits I think Rick would like in a person, but I think he also likes a bunch of different kinds of personalities. Like, yeah, I could say that he likes someone who’s just as stubborn and mean as he is because it keeps things interesting. But I do also think that being good natured could surprise him in how much he likes it, because it’s the opposite of how he perceives himself. So do keep that in mind with these headcanons! Just because I think these things would be important, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like something a lil’ more on the other end of the spectrum ;)

Adventurousness is obviously a must. Someone who’s a little spontaneous when it comes to last minute trips and missions. You gotta be down to at least try anything once.

Being adaptable or a fast learner is pretty useful to him. If you’re quick on your feet when it comes to problem solving, even better. Rick can solve pretty much all situations, so if you can figure out a new solution before he can, you’ll definitely impress him. People he finds impressive are definitely more attractive to him.

Intelligence doesn’t really feel like a deal breaker (hot take, I know) but it’s a pretty big plus. He doesn’t respect people who don’t have a base line of intelligence, but you definitely don’t need to be anywhere near him in terms of that. He doesn’t expect anybody to be on his level.

This is a bit on the nose, but you gotta be decisive. He’d like a partner who has secure confidence in at least one major area. Could be in social situations (a plus, since he sucks at them), in a personal skill (doesn’t matter what that skill is), expressing absolute certainty in decision making, etc. He likes people who know they’re good and can back it up with evidence.

Someone who can banter with him. You don’t have to be clever or witty necessarily, just have good chemistry with him; you have to be able to flow together well in conversation, in bed, and out in the field.

Skilled in communication!! Another hot take, maybe. He probably wouldn’t even know that he likes this quality in a person (or alien, or… thing). He isn’t good at expressing himself when it comes to basically any overwhelming emotions, right? If you’re good at communicating, you can see through his little tricks or schemes that would push others away. Communication is absolutely a hard skill. Setting boundaries with Rick would definitely level up his respect for you, even if he would seem annoyed, hurt, etc., when you first make it clear to him.

If you can pick out his moods or what he’s really saying when he spouts whatever bullshit he does, it’s going to make his life that much easier. And having a partner who can be absolutely direct with him is the cherry on top. He doesn’t read between the lines when it comes to emotions. If you want him, you have to say it up front. If he’s pissing you off and you say it just like that, that’s something he can understand. Over time, it will become easier for him to open up and be more vulnerable because you don’t mock him or trivialize his feelings simply because he can’t actually put them out in the open. So on top of all that, being observant and intuitive will go a long way with building a relationship.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say Rick likes more childish characters, though I would describe him that way. If you’ve got a fun loving spirit, that’s enough. You gotta be able to deal with his sillier antics. If you don’t just put up with them, but are able to join in on the fun, that’s something that he really appreciates.

Obviously, you gotta love the family. Expressing thoughtful care towards the grandkids will go far in winning his affection, especially if the kids tell him that they like you.

Some other quick things: being passionate, ambitious, having a curious or questioning nature (as long as you don’t bother him with too many questions lmao), non-conformity, a little indulgent, a little skeptical (not a follower, anyway), and just the ability to think for yourself. Yeah, he likes attention and being fawned over for sure, but that’ll get boring to him pretty quick. He doesn’t want a sidekick or a yes-man, he wants a companion.

Just being your own person unabashedly, regardless of what he might say about it, is enough to pique his interest.

#rick sanchez #rick sanchez x reader #anonymous #ask #mesa writes #this one feels a liiiittle ooc to me #i think it's been too long since I watched the earlier seasons #gotta refresh rick's character in my brain perhaps

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satanachia666 · 1 year

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Hail Thyself: Satan is Not a Jealous God

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but here it goes: Satan is not a jealous god.

Based on my experiences, Satan is fine with people honoring and working with other deities, demons, spirits, and entities. Satan does not demand worship, praise, or offerings from people, including those of us who believe in him. In fact, if you’re the kind of person who connects with deities through offerings, Satan would prefer you give offerings when it suits you and when you feel moved to do so, regardless of whether that’s in a ritual or in the moment. Working with demons will familiarize you with Satan’s many aspects. It’s true that demons are capable of good and bad, creation and destruction, positivity and negativity, etc. Nonetheless, anyone can easily say that about MANY other deities, including and especially Yahweh himself.

The Bible describes Yahweh as jealous and vengeful when his demands aren’t fulfilled. In The Bible, Yahweh repeatedly gets jealous and angry when people worship other gods. So, it makes sense to me that many people who come from a Christian religious background feel hesitant to work with other spirits, practice witchcraft, engage in the occult, and otherwise pursue their spirituality in the way they feel drawn to beyond a biblical paradigm.

Thus, I want to encourage you to honor and commune with the deities, demons, and spirits you feel like reaching out to. So long as you treat them with love and respect, they will most likely do the same for you. Love and respect are also what you should expect in return from the beings you work with.

Keep in mind: I am a Theistic Satanist and Demonolatress. I believe that Satan is the demonic creator of the universe who inspirits the whole of creation, and all demons are aspects of this demonic divinity. I also believe that all deities are manifestations of Satan. I know for a fact I’m not the only one who holds these beliefs. To us, Satan is the whole, so it only makes sense to me that Satan wants humanity to be whole as well. Contrary to popular belief, many of us feel more whole when we maintain connections with multiple spiritual beings as opposed to just one. To me, telling someone they should only work with one god is like telling them they should only have one lover or one friend: While that might work for some of us, many people (myself included) prefer to have more than one partner and friend. That kind of cookie-cutter approach to spirituality is bound to go wrong when we live in a world full of individuals with complex, varying needs, ideas, and beliefs.

Each demon represents a different aspect of Satan that will teach us about ourselves, the world we live in, and perhaps even the universe at large if they feel inclined to do so. I believe that the relationship someone has with a specific demon is unique, yet that connection still ultimately comes from Satan. Demons know that they are greatly feared by many people (especially religious people), but they have repeatedly shown me that they are willing to help and empower those of us who approach them in good faith. I’ve also found that demons also appreciate any effort you expend on unlearning any toxic behaviors, beliefs, or notions rooted in religion that you might’ve picked up along the way in life. These efforts especially benefit those of us who strive to practice Theistic Satanism and Demonolatry.

Sometimes, you might not have the right chemistry or connection with certain beings, such as a particular demon, and that’s okay. A demon/spirit/deity rejecting you isn’t all that bad when there are plenty of others who’d love to be involved with you and your practice. Just remember that any spirit who works against your best interest isn’t your ally. If a spirit is actively creating any problems in your life, you should banish it immediately. I’ve seen a lot of newcomers get caught up in the drama of getting vivid manifestations from malicious/evil spirits, all while those spirits continue to wreak total havoc in their lives. There is no need to put up with that! You can experience the same intense synchronicities, manifestations, and results from working with spiritual beings that respect you and your well-being.

I realize that many people, including myself, come to Theistic Satanism and Demonolatry with a background that contains some degree of involvement with at least one of the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). As for myself, before I began practicing witchcraft and paganism in my preteen years, I held the same general Christian beliefs that my parents had. And still, after about 20 years of practicing, I sometimes find my worldly and spiritual behavior being impacted by the toxic elements of Christianity I internalized before I became cognizant enough to resist it. Even though I began moving away from Christianity early on in my life, I definitely see how being socialized into a certain religion during childhood can have long-lasting effects on how you interact with spirituality and religion in the future.

So, I wanted to remind whoever needs to hear it: You are not a bad practitioner for dealing with the toxicity handed to you by the Christianity you internalized early on in life. You are not a bad practitioner if you’re still dealing with the internalized religious toxicity you learned so long ago, after all of these years. There is a reason why sociologists consider religion to be an entire agent of socialization: Its effects are very real and influential in our development. It only makes sense that the beliefs you were socialized to hold early on would have some kind of impact on you later on. Fortunately, now that we are more aware of who we are, what we want out of life, and our spirituality, we can finally heal and grow from the ashes of the flames that burned us.

Good luck with exploring and expanding upon your spirituality! After celebrating the Rite of Belial, it only makes sense that we take the time to appreciate new beginnings, initiation, and deeper meanings. It makes even more sense to embrace new beginnings as a new year begins. I hope you get to enjoy this special time of the year as much as I do!

In case this reaches you late: Happy New Year’s Eve and Happy New Year! Hail Satan!🤘

- Pearl Satanachia 🌕

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traumasurvivors · 1 year

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I have some asks in my ask box about being ready for sex after trauma. And I did write a longer blog post about that. It's here if you want to read it!

But for those that aren't up to reading my article on it, here are some summarized points from it. (It was hard to choose from the article, and a lot of info I think is still good has been left out, so if the stuff below is helpful, please consider checking the full article.)

Questions to ask yourself to help determine whether you’re ready

Everyone is different and there is no sure way to know whether you are ready or not, but here are some questions that might help you sit down with yourself to explore this.

Do you feel safe with the person you are considering having sex with?

When you think about having sex, how do you feel? If the answer is panicked, uncomfortable, scared or any other negative emotion, it might be best to come back to this at a later time.

Why do you want to have sex? If it’s due to pressures from someone else, or even societal expectations, it’s best to stop and be sure that it’s because it’s what you want.

Communication

It is a good idea to talk about your boundaries and any issues that may arise. It is probably a good idea to at least talk about some of the ways your trauma might affect what happens (even if you don't want to talk about the trauma itself - which is totally okay), such as if you might freeze up or have trouble speaking or worry about being triggered in some way.

It's a good idea to come up with a non verbal signal for “stop” in cases where someone is concerned that they may become stressed, panicked or otherwise unable to verbally say “stop.”

It’s also a good idea to plan for multiple check-ins during your activity, as this helps with potential situations where a person may freeze entirely and be unable to use even non-verbal signals to communicate. There can be a way to do this in a “sexy” and fun way that doesn’t break the mood. (I have some examples on the article).

It’s important that your partner understands that not getting a signal, verbal or otherwise, may indicate that you are experiencing a “freeze” response and that it’s better safe than sorry for them to stop all activity immediately. If possible, having a plan for “freeze” responses is ideal. These plans may include grounding techniques or ways for your partner to help calm and ground you.

Before sexual activity

Another extremely important thing to do is to make sure you feel safe with the person, especially if you have had sexual trauma. Feeling emotionally safe is important. While this is something that seems to be more likely within a relationship, it is definitely possible with casual encounters and one-night stands. A lot of times, feeling heard and respected can go a long way. Having a level of physical comfort with the person you are planning sex with could also be very helpful. If you are in a relationship with them, you may want to spend time beforehand with each other’s bodies in non-sexual ways like dancing or cuddling.

After sexual activity

There may be unexpected responses to the ending of sexual activity. Even if the activity was good and fun, some people may experience a mood drop. This may have nothing to do with your actual mood and everything to do with the chemistry involved in intense activities like sex. It does not mean that the experience was bad. During these activities, chemicals may all be mixing together in the brain to make you feel extremely good. After sex, levels of these chemicals in the brain can drop, sometimes very quickly. This is what causes a mood drop.

In trauma survivors, there may also be a feeling that they are somehow “dirty” or “wrong” for what they just did. It may be important to plan for time afterwards. Some people find cuddling with their partner can help with the emotions, whereas some people prefer to practice their own self-care and self soothe instead. Some people even have a “self care” box for after that includes a variety of things that may be helpful. If there are things that your partner can say or do to help, make sure to communicate that with them.

At the end of the day, remember that it’s okay to enjoy sex. But it’s also okay if you don’t enjoy sex. You should never feel pressured in any way to participate in sexual situations and it’s really valid if you aren’t ready - or if you are never ready.

#tw sex #honestly #it means so much when people check out the articles on my website #so even if you just read this short version #hearts on my original blog post are adored and appreciated

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rwrbmovie · 9 months

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RE: Taylor & Nick's chemistry

Quotes from interviews on #RWRBMovie about Taylor & Nick's chemistry

This post will be updated as content is released

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Last updated: August 8

From Wonderland Magazine

"I was cast before Taylor and Matthew Lopez, our director, and Amazon really put me through the wringer, as I had to do a bunch of chemistry reads with a few different guys. Again it was all about finding commonality. Taylor came in and smashed it, he's so funny and charismatic and willing to play. He's become such a good mate of mine and we had such a fun time filming this movie."

From Entertainment Weekly

What wasn't hard? Finding chemistry with Perez. "We have the same sense of humor," says Galitzine. "We're both idiots in some way. We speak the same language as people. It was a different chemistry. Finding the levity and the light in each other, finding a sense of play in the scenes. Because you want them to have that banter that back and forth, that zippy dialogue."

From Glamour

“They were a dream come true,” López says of working with Zakhar Perez and Galitzine. “Taylor and Nick have an astonishing chemistry together. You could see it from their first audition together. They genuinely liked and trusted each other from the start. And individually they each take these characters and make them their own. I cannot imagine any other actor playing these roles, and I haven’t from the moment I first met them.”

“Nick and I hit it off right away,” says Zakhar Perez. "We had our chemistry read on Zoom, and then we went straight into rehearsals on day one. We didn't even have a lunch or a, ‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ We just had to trust each other.” Adds Galitzine, “Taylor and I have this level of insincerity with each other. We have this public [banter] with each other, but privately we're really, really close mates. That's kind of Alex and Henry in a lot of ways, negging each other and pushing each other's buttons. Taylor and I spoke the same language, had the same humor. You need to have a partner in crime to embody these roles, and I think it's so palpable when costars don't have the chemistry [that we do.]”

From People

About how he and Galitzine, 28, built the chemistry fans will see onscreen, Perez says, "It all comes down to trust with your scene partner, and we immediately had it. There had to be a level of vulnerability between us, and we quickly found our way into it." "We were lucky to have rehearsals and many meals together before we began our first day of filming," he adds. "We both knew we had a lot on our shoulders, given the success of the book, and that was a big motivation for us to be locked in at all times."

From GQ

When auditioning for their roles, Galitzine read with other prospective Alexes, never quite finding a rhythm. But when they met over Zoom for a chemistry read, it was instant fireworks. Director Matthew López noticed their spooky chemistry right away. When the actors first got together in person to rehearse, López recalls leaving them alone. “I came back about 10 minutes later and they were the best of friends already,” he says. “It was like they had known each other all their lives.” On and off set, the pair would bond by turning every little thing into a low-stakes contest: competing over silly minutiae like who’s really taller (“Alex is supposed to be shorter in the book, and then this little shit comes in at six foot two!” Galitzine says) or who could finish their scene in the fewest takes.

Up close and in person they are waves of chaotic energy bouncing off each other. (“It is kinda like water when we’re together,” Zakhar Perez says.) They tease each other relentlessly. They push each other. They finish each other’s sentences and bicker like an old married couple. Wind them up and off they go. “I don’t like Nick,” Zakhar Perez jokes. “But I respect him.” “Mine’s the other way!” Galitzine counters. “I don’t respect your game, but I do like you very much.”

From Out Smart Magazine

Looking back fondly, he jokes, “I didn’t have to manufacture chemistry between Nick and Taylor. My biggest problem on set was getting them to shut up and do the scene.”

From What to Watch

"We knew that we would not have a movie until we had our — I was about to say “until we had our Taylor and Nick”! — until we had our Alex and Henry. In all honesty, I don’t know if we would have ended up making the movie if we felt like we were compromising on the casting, because you get that wrong and you just don’t have a film. So it took months of searching, particularly for Alex, because I wasn’t at all certain who was going to be out there for this role, and as a Puerto Rican filmmaker I was acutely aware of the opportunity to cast this role in a way that was gonna sort of bring a new name and a new face to the public. To my delight there were a lot of young Latin men out there who auditioned for the role and it was so exciting to go through all their tapes. [The leads] both emerged singularly, and then the big trick was to see if they would work together as a couple." "I knew that both Taylor and Nick were perfectly cast as their roles, but what I wasn’t sure of until I put them in a chemistry read was ‘would they play well together?’ The nightmare scenario for me was finding two perfect actors for the role who did not gel at all together — so the degree to which this could have gone wrong for me, with the casting, was just stratospheric, and the fact that it went so well in terms of finding the right people for the roles who were also just the right people for each other was a lucky break that came at the end of a very long process! [laughs]" "And I didn’t have to teach them that! They possessed that from the beginning. I mean, we worked hard on their performances together but what was innate from the moment they first met was they got each other, and they got along so well together, and they played so incredibly well together."

From Hindustan Times

A dream! I love those two so much. You are lucky if you get one of them working at that level, and to get both of them working at such a high level, and so astonishingly well together is just a great, great hit of luck. The thing is that they are both so perfectly cast individually but the most important thing is that we cast two people who worked well together as a team. The moment from which they first met on Zoom, they had such tremendous chemistry. We rehearsed several weeks before we started filming and then over the course of rehearsals and then the film, there became a real shorthand between them. They trusted them and I was able to then, in many instances, direct them less as individuals and direct them as a team. They worked as a team and that is exactly what you need from a film like this. I genuinely cannot imagine this film with two other actors in it. In many ways, they made this film possible for me to make. The evidence of that is on-screen every time they are together even when they are not together, it is there.

From The Queer Review

"I really wanted Taylor and Nick to have a good solid chunk of time together, working together and understanding one another, coming to trust one another and figuring out how they each work. It was less about rehearsing like you would for a play and more about acclimatizing. I guess you could liken it to getting new goldfish and putting them in a plastic bag and then putting them in the water before you let them out into the general goldfish population!” “I needed those two to problem-solve together. I needed those two to have lunches together and talk about their nights when they saw each other in the morning. I needed a familiarity that I didn’t want to leave to chance on the first day on set when everybody’s a little tight, everybody’s a little nervous, nobody knows each other and everybody’s figuring each other out. You had a filmmaker who’d never done this before and the last thing I wanted was for Taylor and Nick to start to get to know each other then because I think that would have been too late.”

From Attitude

Responding to these criticisms López told Attitude exclusively: “Anybody who criticises their chemistry doesn’t know what chemistry is.” He continued by praising Galitzine and Zakhar Perez as “trusting” and “respectful” of one another and their approaches to acting. “They gave room to each other to breathe and grow. I don’t think you can make a movie like this with two actors who don’t trust each other. You might be able to, but I don’t know if it would work. Those two from the very beginning made a decision to trust each other and to support each other.” Away from the serious side of acting, López also told Attitude that they all had fun on set. Occasionally, he explained, he had to be the one to calm the fun so they could shoot. “But those two are wonderful human beings,” López also added. “And I loved working with them. And I know that they took their jobs incredibly seriously. But, we made sure that we never took ourselves too seriously.”

From TV & Satellite Week

López was acutely aware that the key to the film’s success would be in casting lead actors with credible chemistry, and he was delighted that Zakhar Perez and Galitzine sparked together instantly. ‘The nightmare scenario for me was finding two perfect actors who did not gel at all,’ says López. ‘But what was innate from the moment Taylor and Nick first met was that they played so incredibly well together.’ The two leads were equally keen to make their characters’ relationship evolve believably.

From CineMagna

Nick: It's been such a joy working with Taylor, and I really couldn't have imagined anyone better suited to play Alex. I think the most important thing in casting Alex was to find someone who could really go tête-à-tête with me and with Henry. This film is a two-hander and it's all about the chemistry and the banter that you could have between the two of them. Taylor, he's such a fun, loving person, such a joy to be around, and so much of the filming process for me is about finding an acting partner who just loves being here as much as I do. I can't say enough good things about him.

Taylor: Working with Nick has been excellent, we've gone through a lot. You know, we got here a couple weeks early for rehearsals. It's a very intimate movie so we had to become close very fast and kind of trust each other right away, and we did. It wasn't hard, it was really just committing to the text and trusting our director Matthew. And it's just, it's great working with him because I think we have a really good banter on and off screen which helps our characters when we are acting together. But I mean, we get in a lot of trouble, like we really do. We get yelled at by our first AD, Ben a lot, and Matthew tells us to calm down. Just because as soon as you're out of a scene, you're like, critiquing each other, critiquing yourself, and I think we're each other's biggest supports in the room. We both care so much, I know he cares, I know I care, and we just want to make the best product possible.

From The Fresno Bee

That chemistry sparked when the two met via Zoom for a script reading. “It took a long time to find them, but it was very obvious that they were our guys.”

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #matthew lopez #tzp

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rafaelsilvasource · 2 years

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Out100 Cover Stars Ronen Rubinstein & Rafael Silva Televise Queer Love

9-1-1: Lone Star's Ronen Rubinstein and Rafael Silva are setting network TV ablaze with their fiery queer romance.

BY RAFFY ERMAC | October 25, 2022

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Tarlos is here — and ready to take over.

Coined by fans of Fox’s hit procedural drama 9-1-1: Lone Star, the affectionate “ship” name is a portmanteau of the show’s queer main characters: firefighter-turned-paramedic Tyler Kennedy “T.K.” Strand and Carlos Reyes, an Austin police officer. The LGBTQ-inclusive series centers on the lives of emergency responders and also boasts names like Rob Lowe, Liv Tyler, and transgender actor Brian Michael Smith.

Watching Lone Star, which opens a fourth season in early 2023, it’s easy to see why fans love Tarlos. Their relationship — which began in the pilot episode in an Austin honky-tonk and evolved into a roller coaster of casual hookups, breaking up, moving in together, and eventually getting engaged — is a story LGBTQ+ fans could only dream about seeing on network television just a few years ago. Seeing these two characters — with their movie-star good looks and boys-next-door appeal — navigate life and love in relatable ways gives fans giddy feelings with every new episode (which is why discussions of Lone Star continually trend on Twitter during the television season).

Fortunately, out actors Ronen Rubinstein and Rafael Silva have the chemistry to bring these two Lone Star boys to life.

“I can’t imagine doing this with somebody that (a) you don’t like and (b) you don’t mesh well with on set,” Rubinstein says of Silva. Since they started this journey as Tarlos when Lone Star premiered in 2020, the two have grown close as both colleagues and friends. “I can’t imagine doing that with somebody that you don’t get along with and you don’t respect and you don’t love as a human being,” he adds. “I can honestly say that’s how I feel about Rafael.”

“Ro and I are just so fucking different as people…. But it’s this sort of yin and yang thing,” says Silva. “Two of the same pieces of the same puzzle are not going to go together, they’re just not. They have to be different in order to complement each other, and I think we do that very well as actors and as people.”

One of the first scenes the two shot together was a sex scene, and like with any intimacy on camera, that required a lot of trust — even if at the time, they had just recently met. But the two used their real-life newness with each other to their advantage, as it paralleled how T.K. and Carlos were also just getting to know each other, creating a realistic pairing that the stans simply can’t get enough of.

“At that point, when you have a bunch of people just watching you make out and do that, you have to rely on your partner,” Silva says. “It’s like we only got each other right now, so let’s just do whatever happens here, just go with the flow. Let’s just go.”

Tarlos, with all their confidence and chemistry, is one of television’s better examples of an LGBTQ+ couple just getting to live their messy but meaningful lives without extreme trauma keeping them apart. A couple like Tarlos was a portrayal Rubinstein and Silva didn’t see a lot of growing up, and that helped motivate them to portray T.K. and Carlos in a way never before seen by generations of queer TV watchers.

Silva, who was born in Brazil and spent the early part of his childhood there, says he was raised in a very male-dominated, machismo-drenched culture with a stigma surrounding gay people. It wasn’t until he was a young adult attending Pace University in New York City that he was exposed to queer culture, and he was able to “actively, fully be myself” as a gay man. And it wasn’t until he saw Viola Davis’s badass bisexual Annalise Keating on ABC’s acclaimed How to Get Away With Murder that he felt like he saw something of himself represented on television.

Like Silva, Rubinstein, who spent his childhood in the U.S. but was born in Israel after his family left the Soviet Union following its collapse, had a similar experience growing up in a culture that taught folks being gay or queer was verboten. “It just wasn’t a thing that was ever brought into my world,” Rubinstein says.

That is, until he caught the acting bug. Going into Manhattan for auditions and exploring the West Village introduced Rubinstein to people and cultures that he had never experienced before, and that’s when he started to realize he could truly be himself and like both men and women. (Rubinstein publicly came out as bisexual in April of 2021 while Lone Star’s second season was airing.)

“I remember going there, just wandering around, and I was like, ‘Oh, wow, this is amazing,’” he recalls. “I think that was probably the first time where I started looking at men differently. Especially growing up, [I don’t remember] anybody talking about being bisexual. That wasn’t even a term that I even knew existed. It was just gay or lesbian.”

Though they didn’t have much representation growing up, Silva and Rubinstein are elated by how many people are touched by Tarlos. “It’s really all over the world right now, it’s unbelievable,” Rubinstein reflects. “I’d be lying to you if I said, ‘Yeah, of course I knew it would be like this,’ or ‘Yeah, I expected it.’ First of all, just for this storyline to even be birthed, it is so risky. Especially for a network like Fox. If it wasn’t for [creators] Ryan Murphy and Tim Minear, it wouldn’t be possible, and it’s still shocking me to this day.”

What was also shocking for Silva and Rubinstein (in a good way) was getting to see just how much love fans were ready to give in real life, as the two got to meet Tarlos stans over the summer at the Dream It Not at Home convention in Paris.

“We met a lot of people saying, ‘I’ve been saving money to come here, I’ve been working overtime,’ so all I could hear was, ‘I’ve been putting in effort in order to see you,’” Silva says of the experience. “When you hear that, you feel the responsibility to also take them in.”

And they’re not taking any of that love and support lightly. With season 4 of Lone Star on the horizon, and with more Tarlos promised to viewers after a breathtaking proposal scene at the end of season 3, Silva and Rubinstein are more committed than ever to nailing their parts as authentically as possible. And they can’t wait for fans to see what season 4 has in store.

“I’ve definitely been shocked and surprised already within the first couple episodes. There’s definitely been some storylines where I’m like, ‘What?’” Rubinstein says. “It’s hard to predict what’s going to happen on the show, especially with us, so that’s been really cool. It keeps you on your toes, and when I get a script, I’m literally flipping through the pages as fast as I can because at any moment, there could be a bombshell — and we’re definitely going to have a couple this season.”

“Right off from episode 1, we’re going to find out some things that are funny, but it propels on to several beautiful episodes after the first one, and it’s going to be intense,” Silva says. “It’s going to be fun to watch and fun to do. Like what Ronen said, you can’t really expect much because things change a lot. Whatever you think is going to happen, Tim always brings something better than what your imagination can perceive. I think the fun part is just waiting to find out what actually happens.”

“The biggest thing is all paths lead to the wedding,” Rubinstein adds.

As the actors reflect on the future of their careers beyond Lone Star, both remain optimistic that LGBTQ+ representation is only going to improve, and they both want to work on projects that push boundaries and are more inclusive of historically marginalized identities. For Rubinstein, that means seeing more projects with bisexual male leads, and for Silva, that means adding Latinx representation to mainstream American media.

“I would love to do movies and work with some of my heroes, whether it’s Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Christian Bale. I’ve been putting that out since I’ve started this journey, so hopefully it happens,” Rubinstein says. “I think, selfishly, I would like to see more male characters who are bisexual, especially in leading roles. It’s strange that it’s not happening more often. Maybe it’s going to take me to produce something or be the one that does it, but I’d love to see more of that. I think there’s a lot of stories to be told, but especially in the LGBTQ+ community.”

“If I’m going to dream, I want to do things that challenge me, that make me scared, but where I can also have fun and also, I’m going to say selfishly, where I can achieve a certain level in my career where I won’t feel like I have to explain myself,” Silva says.

talent RAFAEL SILVA & RONEN RUBINSTEIN @actuallyrafa @ronenrubinstein photographer COYOTE PARK for GOOGLE PIXEL 7 coyotepark.format.com @coyotepark executive producer & senior director TIM SNOW @snowmgz creative director RAINE BASCOS 1st assistant MASON ROSE masonrose.photography @masonrose__ light tech EVADNE GONZALEZ @evadnegonzalez digitech MERLIN VIETHEN video AUSTIN NUNES austinunes.com @austinunes producer STEVIE WILLIAMS x2production.com @beingstevie of X2 Production set designer ORRIN WHALEN orrinwhalen.com @orrinwhalen art assistant BRANDON LOYD @ohmylord stylist EDWIN ORTEGA edwinortega.com @edwin.j.ortega styling assistant BROOKE MUNFORD @brookesquad hair/groomer ABRAHAM ESPARZA abrahamjesparza.com @thisisbabe manicurist RILEY MIRANDA @rileymiranda.nails

#rafael silva #press #ls press #interviews #photoshoots #out magazine #tarlos #ronen rubinstein #october 2022 #out magazine 2022

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mangokabuto · 20 days

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💛💚💙💜

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

Ohhh man... I'm going to be murdered if I say "all of them" but. Well. I promise I'm not "different from the other girls" or something LMFAO I just typically can't get behind monogamous ships because they do not interest or intrigue me, usually? It takes some really compelling characters to pull it off in a way that will get me invested. And honestly, I REALLY hate in shipping fanfiction/etc where the shipped-characters-in-question are portrayed as feeling "more" for their partner (singular or plural) than the rest of the crew. I feel this way for One Piece and the strawhats specifically. Like, as soon as I see the "A missed their captain and their crew, but they realized that they missed B more" or "loved B more" I've clocked out. It's just fully not believable to me. Why does romantic always have to be more, instead of just different? This is separate from my bias as a polyamorous person, btw. I'm not fond of the idea that you HAVE to love your romantic partner MOST; Like if you're closer to your best friend than your partner then you've failed somehow?? Or like you're supposed to be less close to your friends once you have a partner?? That's insane to me. And SPECIFICALLY I think it doesn't fit these characters. If there's anyone on the crew that any of them feel "more" for than the others it's Luffy, and they ALL feel that way, and it doesn't interfere with their romantic relationships because that is silly. ...I realize this probably isn't the type of answer you were looking for, haha. For a simpler one: I don't really get the romantic chemistry behind zosan as a ship, unless they're in a polycule with other people. Which is weird, because enemies-to-lovers usually gets me! Also I don't get the romantic chemistry behind lawlu either.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I have several favorite characters honestly, and I haven't been in the fandom long enough to know the most common opinions like that outside of some large-sweeping and very common ones. (So, it's hard for me to answer this question with Franky or Bon Clay.) So, I'll pick an example that involves two of my favorite characters (Usopp and Zoro) I feel very strongly about the platonic divorce arc (Water Seven), and I think a lot of people either don't really understand what Usopp did/was thinking, or don't really understand what Zoro did/was thinking, or both. Which sucks. "Get wrong" is a loaded term, since everyone's entitled to their own opinion/interpretation, ofc, but... I stand FIRM in my belief that if Zoro had not held the line like that, Usopp would not have been able to come back to the crew, and the crew wouldn't have survived it if he came back anyway. Zoro enforced that boundary BECAUSE he loved everyone involved, not because he "hated usopp's cowardice" or whatever the fuck. Usopp decided to leave, and Zoro held him to his word, and there is a lot of respect in that. And Usopp DID fuck up! Bad! He needed to apologize, and the Usopp fans out there who think "Usopp did nothing wrong/shouldn't have needed to apologize" need to unpack why they think so. This isn't to say Zoro and the others did everything right, either. EVERYONE fucked up there, but Usopp fucked up the most! Usopp stans I know there are few of us and we're used to him getting shit on by the fandom, but we need to accept that he really was at fault. And it's good to have a character in fiction who stumbles for understandable reasons, then pushes too far, and then is able to fix what they'd done and mend their relationships. That is a beautiful and important thing to have. (If anything, I think Usopp's apology should have been a little better, but that's just me.)

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

I could be here all day. :') I know anything is possible and different strokes for different folks, but I cannot believe THAT MANY people find Sanji and Law THAT attractive. Sanji's popularity baffled me more than law, but still. I know tattoos are hot but come on. Lets be serious. It's just us here I won't be mad tell me the truth

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

FOXY. SILVER FOX FOXY. IM IN LOVE WITH HIM DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR ME. SAYING IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK, HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!

For my other controversial picks I also think Franky, Jinbe, Mont Blanc, Brook, Big Mom, Blackbeard, Magelllan, World from that one movie, and Borsalino are attractive but those aren't as controversial -- I've seen a couple other people be as open about them -- but no one appreciates my husband. Cowards!!

#ask game #please dont rip me to shreds for my opinions LMFAOOO /j #actually i dont care. execute me if you must I'll die a martyr /j

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hologramcowboy · 4 months

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I read somewhere in tumblr that D said in one of OTH podcast that Jensen can never impress her and I'm like wtf! did she actually said that ? and if it's true why Jensen is like this? is he truly a spineless simp for this talentless stretched face bimbo? I'm mean no offense but she is a trashy flopped forgotten actress with creepy plastic face who is only known for her stripping roles ,does he really lacke self esteem and respect? Maybe because he father used to beat him up he was traumatised and ended up in marriage where he is just a moving back account simp for her and her jobless brother , yikes this is a major turn off

Anyone can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but I think Danneel just repeated what Jensen keeps repeating (soundbite they agreed upon for PR purposes) but also said her answer would be different. Meaning she doesn't agree with his impression. That being said, I only "skimmed" that sucktastic interview so I might be completeley off. Will listen to it fully when I get some time to focus on that, it's just not a priority.

People still don't understand that actors build and image and carefully pick narratives to position themselves in certain ways depending on their goals. Jensen is well aware neither him nor Danneel credibly manage to sell their connection and marriage so he overcompensates by saying things like that to make it seem as if he values her but if we look at his actions, especially the way her career disappeared and her entire identity shifted to just being "mrs ackles" we can see he doesn't truly love her. When someone truly loves you they don't allow you to give up your dreams or identity. Danneel has no personality of her own. Aside from this, every family post they make comes off fake and planned, there is no real chemistry just a business interest.

One important thing I'd like to add is this: If you are in a relationship where you constantly have to impress your partner then run, that's beyond toxic and Jensen is so toxic for even promoting that as an ideal. The fact that he keeps mentioning that just reinforces all the devaluing Danneel does with him. If his marriage is all about constantly jumping through hoops and buying her affection then sorry but that is an abusive relationship.

That being said, I think Jensen desperately wants to sell a kind of fairytale love he never experienced, except he has so many toxic beliefs about love he ends up making up lines and stories that just make them as a couple seem vapid, aggressive and narcissistic.

Let me reinforce this: the fastest way to end up a self destructive mess is to engage in a relationship with someone that keeps moving the goalposts and asking you to "impress" them. That is not love, let's be real. Please don't expose yourself to that kind of treatment.

Also, please remember that public statements made by actors are made to frame an image, there's a strategy behind that, it's not someone realistically sharing their feeling or real life dynamic. It's someone selling a product: themselves as a bookable actor.

Jensen wants leading man roles without doing any inner work, he just wants to signal certain qualities he doesn't have to get a certain image. Especially since Danneel comes from an extremely trashy background. He is trying to overcompensate with comments that will hopefully stick or so he thinks.

My advice to you is not to look at Jensen's "statements" but to truly look at his choices, his actions. Danneel is just a commodity to him and he does everything in his power to either be away from home or to be inebriated when he is home. That is extremely telling. He is not a fulfilled man and so he is overcompensating by making comments that he hopes will cover his discontent.

#jensen critical #anti jenneel #anti danneel

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baticeer-sims · 10 months

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I'd like to hear your soap box about romantic standards! I use ACR at the moment but reading that "unpopular opinions" post got me curious about other options 👀

Hiya! Thanks for asking. I absolutely love Romantic Standards, I could NOT play without it these days. I used to use ACR in the past though, so I tried to make a balanced list of the pros and cons for me. But then it got REALLY LOOOONG because I'm a wordy person sorry, so it's under a cut.

The quick TLDR of it is - I feel like ACR creates romantic chaos that's often unpleasant/nonsensical to me, while I feel like RS creates romantic drama that makes sense and also allows for a lot of variety in how different sims will feel about their relationships.

By the way, I use Midgethetree's edited version of RS because it's modular (you can pick which parts you want) and the documentation is way easier to understand lol. If you have any trouble with mod conflicts or with getting RS set up the way you like, feel free to ask me about it and I can help you out with what exact files you need.

The full soapbox under the cut!!

One thing I want to say is I think a lot of people have been playing with ACR for so long that they don't know what their game will be like without it? And they underestimate how much autonomous romantic interaction will still happen between sims. A key here is that sims can't autonomously interact romantically unless they have compatible gender preferences, and townies or CAS sims always start with 0 preference, so a vanilla hood without ACR will feel low on the random flirtations unless you use something like the Sim Blender (or similar) to randomize everyone's gender preferences! (And ACR gives out random gender preferences automatically, so you might install ACR, see a lot of people interacting romantically for the first time, and assume you can't get that without ACR when all you needed was the gender preference setting, yknow?) But I can assure you that with ACR removed, my sims are definitely still getting into plenty of unexpected romantic entanglements and exciting drama.

To my mind, these are the biggest features of Romantic Standards that I just can't get with ACR:

Random chance of crush/love status: I could never play without this now. As you probably already know, normally two sims automatically get a crush or love when they interact romantically with 70+ shortterm or longterm relationship respectively. It's kinda predictable and boring to me. RS, specifically the "slower feelings" file, makes it so that crush/love flags are added randomly with the chance being based on the sims' chemistry with each other. This also allows for some amazing Drama Potential where you could have 2 sims interacting and one is completely in love with the other but the other has no feelings for them at all! It's otherwise impossible to do that. This makes crush/love flags actually feel meaningful to me, like they represent real human feelings, instead of just being able to know that if I decide one day to smooch my best friend they're guaranteed to fall in love with me.

Simple jealousy system that makes sense: I could never get my head around ACR's jealousy system to make it work the way I wanted. I felt like sims would have their token values changed even when I set them to be static, and stuff like that, and it just was so complicated to figure out what values I wanted... OTOH, this is how jealousy works in Romantic Standards: If a sim is in love or in a committed relationship (steady/engaged/married), and they see their love/partner interact with someone else romantically, they get mad about it! Unless you put a "no jealousy" trait in their inventory (then they won't get jealous over anyone) OR if they also have crush/love flags for that 3rd sim (this, allows for you to have polyamorous relationships). I find that easy to understand and to work well for a majority of situations. There's also an option where they won't get jealous over love, only committed relationships -- but I prefer the also-in-love version because it combines really well with the previous point about crush/love being randomized! You can frequently get situations where A is in love with B but B only has a crush, so B will be willingly flirting with other people and A might get their heart broken over it because they thought this was serious... It really generates a lot of interesting storylines.

Sims don't cheat on their partners if I don't want them to: I know ACR is supposed to have settings that will make sims stay faithful, but I was unable to get it to work consistently, and I feel like I've often heard other people say things too like "I didn't want this sim to cheat but 🤷 ACR just did that". With RS, if a sim is in a committed relationship they can never do autonomous romantic interactions with someone else unless 1) they're Romance aspiration or 2) they already have crush/love for that other sim. You can of course still direct sims to cheat if you think it makes sense, but I don't have to worry about anyone's marriage falling apart if I want them to stay together. (Also, you can override this for specific sims by giving romance sims a "hopeless romantic" trait, or non-romance sims a "commitment issues" trait.)

Midge's version of RS is modular so almost all of the stuff I listed above is separate if you only want part of it.

On the other hand! Here are the things that ACR does that I've missed or that you might miss:

Autonomous woohoo and try for baby: Your sims won't woohoo on their own anymore. I found that I didn't really mind this? The woohoo timer in ACR feels kind of mechanical to me, and a lot of times they'd be starting to do it in situations that were really inappropriate (like other people are in the room and they're stripping naked on the sofa at 9am). And I don't mind the lack of try for baby either because I prefer to decide when my sims have a baby based on if they roll a want for it, or if it just happens from risky woohoo. I've noticed that simler90's original version of RS has an optional plugin that allows for autonomous woohoo but I don't know if it works with Midge's edited RS. I haven't tried it yet bc I don't mind not having auto woohoo. If anyone has, let me know.

Can't woohoo on the sofa and can't woohoo in one menu-click: My god it's so much easier to be able to click "casual...woohoo" than relax on bed, ask other sim to join, wait for them to get there, cuddle, then woohoo. Something to note is that there is a "stripped down" version of ACR which only retains the Casual Woohoo interactions and was made to be compatible with Romantic Standards. However in my experience (and that of a few other people I've talked to) the jealousy aspect of this so-called compatibility... still doesn't quite work correctly? So the "casual woohoo" option, if you have stripped-ACR, I think it will still go off of ACR-jealousy (which is impossible for me to understand lol), instead of RS-jealousy like everything else in the game? It can definitely cause situations with jealousy reactions that aren't working how they're supposed to. So um... the crazy thing that I do, personally, is keep that stripped down ACR in my game but with all the autonomy completely disabled in global overrides, at which point it is doing literally nothing other than letting me tell them to casual woohoo if I want them to woohoo on the sofa. And I just make sure to never use that option in a situation where jealousy is a possible concern, in order to avoid the issue where it doesn't work correctly. It's kind of overly complicated a thing to do just to get sofa woohoo but I'm just saying it's an option 😂

No autonomous First Kiss: This is it! The one thing I truly do miss from ACR and would really love if someone made a mod for it one day! I love when my sims do stuff autonomously and surprise me. But First Kiss is a non-autonomous action, and what's more, sims can't roll the want to "Kiss so-and-so" if they haven't already had a first kiss, so I find it kind of hard to decide when my sims will have their first kiss. I'm always like, why can't you do it for me!

The other major difference is that the "Casual" romantic interactions from ACR have lower thresholds for acceptance than the default Maxis interactions. I personally don't see this as a positive because... well... I've been playing this game for so long, I kind of know how to get sims together at this point, I really don't need to make it even easier 😅 I'd rather have RS making it a little harder for sims to fall in love. I use a lot of other mods for other aspects of the game that make it harder overall because it's more fun for me.

Also! So, I was going to give you a list of other romance-related mods that I use in my game along with RS, but then I realized I could be lazy and just give you a link to my friend @alice-in-strangetown's mods list, because she & I have pretty similar taste in how we like romance to work in this game and I use basically all the same romance mods as her :P because I started using RS after finding out about it from watching her TS2 livestreams.

If you want to try RS on a neighborhood that has ACR but you're not sure if you'd like the playstyle, I recommend temporarily replacing it with the "stripped down" ACR version (and disabling autonomy), because that way your sims will keep their ACR tokens if you decide you don't like RS and want to switch back to using ACR. Of course, it's technically possible to have both of them at the same time, but the key thing about ACR is that all of the "Casual" interactions in it are completely separate from the vanilla maxis interactions so mods that affect default maxis interactions or maxis jealousy (like RS does) won't interface with ACR interactions and vice versa.

I hope all of this was helpful, and that maybe it convinced you to give Romantic Standards a try! Like I said, if you need any help getting it set up I can give you advice or a more detailed guide on how to install it (I think the documentation's pretty straightforward tho).

#I... don't know how to tag this #mod guide #??#the sims 2 #ts2

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notebookpapers · 8 months

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Hey, fellas! It’s time for

Ace✨Education✨Power Hour!✨

As an ace person myself, I forget that this is a concept that, for some people, can be hard to understand. So, in an effort to hopefully make it a little easier, here’s the best analogy I’ve found for it so far:

Asexuality is kind of like the inverse of what you feel for a one night stand.

I know how it sounds, I know, but bear with me here.

With a one night stand or a casual hookup, you don’t have to have romantic chemistry. You definitely CAN, but in some cases, even though you might be sexually attracted to each other and have great sexual chemistry, the romantic side isn’t really there. Sure, you’re sexually attracted to them, but you can’t really see yourself going on a date with them or building a life together.

Asexual attraction is kind of the opposite of that. If the sexual can exist without the romantic, then the romantic can also exist without the sexual.

And now, you might be asking yourself, “well, how is that bond any different from what you’d feel for a close friend?” And, to be fair, it can be similar.

You want your partner to be your friend, first and foremost, but there are things you’ll do with a romantic partner that’s different from what you’d do with a friend. For example, I wouldn’t daydream about taking my friends on a cute sunset walk on the beach while I hold their hands and kiss them under the moonlight. I don’t get that same flutter in my chest when I hold my friend’s hand.

Now, obviously, friends do hold hands sometimes. Hell, I’ve kissed my homies goodnight before, ain’t no shame in that. But it’s a different kind of intimacy. Does kissing your girlfriend feel the same as kissing your friend you’ve known since grade school? No. No, it doesn’t.

Asexuality is different for all people. Some feel small amounts of sexual attraction, some feel none at all. Some still have sex for their own reasons - to bond with their partner, to help them sleep, or to just have fun. But some people don’t have sex at all. It’s not the same as sex repulsion or abstinence - they’re just not interested. Many aces still feel romantic attraction, but some are aro-ace, and they don’t.

I hope my weird little tired-o-clock ramble helped somebody who’s struggling to understand. At the end of the day, though, if you don’t, that’s okay with me. I’m not expecting everyone to understand us. All I ask is that you respect us and those who have found comfort in the label of Asexuality. Our ace identities aren’t hurting anybody, and so all we ask is that you don’t hurt us, in return.

Hope my little 3 am word vomit helped somebody. That’s all from me for today, folks! :)

#rambles #tired o clock #asexual #asexuality #ace #ace price #asexual pride #asexual post #asexual education

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kaiandthestrangespaghetti · 1 year

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They can watch

Pairing: Duncan Idaho x F!Reader

Wordcount: 2.6k

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, oral sex (male receiving), bodily fluids, power games, voyeurism and exhibitionism, sexual tension and teasing, size difference, secret rendezvous, feelings and a tinge of possessiveness.

Summary: Formerly a handmaiden to Lady Jessica, you've requested to be trained in combat to serve House Atreides. Your tutor is Swordmaster Duncan Idaho. You’re already one of his most gifted students, and certainly his favourite. But the chemistry between the two of you is not going unnoticed.

A/N: I am being just so normal about the Jason Momoa portrayal of Duncan Idaho. Absolute filth. Occurring loosely after the events of Sparring Partner.

It wasn’t much of a mission, a simple scope out at a munitions plant where there had been some quarrel. But Duncan isn’t just good with a blade, he has a down to earth kind of diplomacy that people respect. The fighter jet had been back in the air bound for Castle Caladan before noon.

Seated next to him you watch his careful fingers adjusting the controls as you cruise, flying low and high speed to avoid thick cloud cover. You’ve been on a freighter before but never a jet like this, the speed of it hits you in the chest as Duncan accelerates. He doesn’t need to; he just enjoys it.

“Will you teach me how to fly one of these?” The comms click as you speak, the black globes of the flight helmets obscuring both your faces.

Duncan pulls back a little on the throttle. His voice is tinny through the headset.

“Eventually. You’ll fly ornithopters first though. More manoeuvrable.”

The idea thrills you, piloting one of those lethal steel dragonflies. Duncan’s voice is in your ear again.

“You’ll stick to the ground for now though, let me do the flying.”

There’s something both protective and arrogant about the statement that’s such tantalising bait to you. And Duncan damn well knows it. You pretend to ignore it. Almost a minute passes.

“Do you think anyone knows you’re fucking your protégé?” You drop casually. He tries to hide it, but you see the tiny pause in his body language.

“Gurney knows, but only cause he’s too smart to miss it. Couple of the guys in the barracks have been talking about you, but can you blame them?” A brief pause of static in your ear. “The reflective surface of the helmet glints as he glances toward you. Do you want them to know?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re gonna get me fucking chewed out by Gurney.”

“Only if you let me suck your cock in the barracks where they can all see.”

Duncan yanks the yoke back and the jet lifts for a moment, shoving you back in your seat before levelling off. Your flight harness grabbing you as you decelerate. You giggle and he hears it in his ear. That touched something, but Duncan likes it. He’s proud of you as his student, you’re already a natural with a blade. But there’s something else to it.

The arousal starts to run through him. A part of him wants them all to know that you’re his.

“Well, I don’t think they’d court martial me for it…”

The ship swoops into the hangar a little too fast but touches down perfectly, jolting you in the seat. With relief you wrench off the humid headgear and press the release on your harness. Duncan pulls off his own flight helmet, his long hair smoothed back and secured at the nape of his neck in a twist. His beard has grown in.

For a second his finger hovers near the button for the down ramp but he stops, gripping the helmet by the rim in his left hand and striding the few paces between you to pin you near the console. He towers over you, barely containing a grin.

“If you want me to teach you to fly, you’re gonna have to be good.”

That last word falls deadly deliberate between the two of you and you smirk, almost delightfully incredulous that he’d use it.

“I will. But you’ll have to stop giving me reasons not to be.”

Passing the helmet to his other hand his arm branches to the bulkhead next to you, gnawing his bottom lip. The small space makes him seem bigger. Like this he has less of that light, dancers’ agility; He’s more than six feet of muscle and khaki, a being contiguous with war machines and military hardware.

“Meet me in the barracks tonight, about seven.”

Your heart hammers. “Why?”

He’s not holding back the smile anymore. The grin breaks on his lips, he leans down to you slightly.

“I wanna show you off.”

The ambiguous implication of the statement sends shivers over your skin and leaning on the balls of your feet you just manage to catch his lips with yours before he hits the door release. The pneumatic sound of the down ramp pulls him away and he strolls down into the hangar, greeting one of the men cordially. Already troopers are opening hatches on the side of the ship for maintenance.

Gathering your wits, you follow a moment later. You go mostly unnoticed. For now.

Given your new position as a recruit you no longer wear gowns, the Atreides troop uniform is functional and comfortable but feels unusual. Still, you’re glad of it when you step down into the barracks and see Duncan with four other men, one of them a commander and three younger troops. A sigh of relief that Gurney Halleck isn’t among them. You recognise one of them as Mylan; a tall, handsome young man whom Duncan had you spar against a couple of days previous. You’d won, easily.

There’s a bottle of wine on the bench where they sit talking and laughing. Seeing you approach Duncan tops up his own cup and sets it down for you. You take a seat and pick up the cup, blending in easily. But a lot of that is down to the Swordmaster; whether it be down to fear or respect, no one makes any point of your unusual appointment to the ranks, a former handmaiden no less.

That is, until Mylan has a little too much to drink.

“-And this one, skinny little thing, look at her. Nearly broke my arm! I couldn’t believe it.” He laughs.

“You should believe it Mylan. Strength is no requirement to counter form that poor.” You retort affably and an ‘ooh’ goes around the others. Duncan sits quiet, observing, leaning back slightly in his seat.

“Yeah, well if I had the Swordmaster himself to train me every other day I’d easily be as good.”

You just smile, letting it hang. Even Duncan doesn’t say anything, he has a similar look to you. The comment leaves the group a little quieter, as if no one dares touch it. Finally, the commander interjects with something about the fleet and you take a sip from your cup. Making deliberate eye contact with Mylan.

One by one the men peel away, the commander first, then the pair who seem to be friends and finally Mylan. You are left alone with Duncan in the quiet echo of the barracks. The wine has put a soft buzz on everything, but you’re not drunk, neither is he. In fact, he’s been conspicuously careful not to drink too much. The last of the botte drips into your cup when you tip it up.

“So, what exactly was your plan?” You ask quietly, the hush of the barracks now closing in around you. Duncan shrugs his jacket off next to him and leans back, bracing both hands on the back of the bench. The ribbed t-shirt he wears under his flight suit is tight across his chest. You make the pretence that you don’t feel his eyes raking over you with unbearable heat. His khaki pants rustle slightly as he parts his knees, still wearing his boots.

“Get on your knees.” It’s not quite an order but a deadly lilt, spoken under his breath, gazing at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It sends a jolt of electricity up your back and through your stomach, you set the cup down and lean in close to his lips.

“Aren’t you scared someone will see us?”

“No. And neither are you.”

The world is growing soft at the edges but it’s not even the wine anymore it’s Duncan. Your nose brushes his beard, and you taste wine on his lips when you tease them with your tongue, but he holds his position, sighing into your mouth.

“What if they come back?” Your fingers alight on Duncan’s knee and his legs part a little more. He’s looking at you completely drunk but again, it’s not the wine. It’s all you.

“I don’t care, they can fuckin’ watch.”

The words clip hard as he utters them, never losing your gaze. He reaches down one handed and the buckle of his belt rattles, the sound of it being pulled completely loose of his waist loops and discarded on the stone bench punctuates the moment.

Your desire to struggle and stretch the game to its farthest point collapses; you’re on your knees between his boots. Duncan yanks down his fly with one hand, reaching in to free his heavy cock from beneath the khaki. The fingers of his other lace solidly but gently into the hair at the nape of your neck.

But no encouragement is required; you lean in and run your cheek and lips over his warm shaft, breathing him in, he smells of sweat from the day. His large fingers ball up in the back of your hair, other hand still braced back on the bench. He’s tense, his cock growing so hard it stands up against his stomach. And still, his enraptured gaze never turns away.

You can only just circle him with your grip, and when you take his head in your mouth the slick of his precum is sweeter than the wine. A shudder goes through him and he holds your hair tighter, but not to push you – you sense he’s getting ready to pull you away.

You slip down slowly, he’s so thick your mouth is stretched and stuffed full of him by the time he’s half sunk but you want more, more. You press further until your nose is buried in the hair at his groin and your gag reflex begins to react. You let it, turning your eyes up to his as your throat rebels but everything else in you begs for more, more - your tongue caressing the underside of his twitching shaft.

That shatters him, and for a second his face turns upward, breathing hard and looking back down at you with his mouth is open, tongue running over his top lip. A rivulet of spit runs down and over your chin. You pull back and your tongue makes smooth, firm stokes on the head of his cock.

Duncan’s grip judders, the heels of his boots squeaking when they scud over the smooth stone, his legs stretching out long.

The sound of soft footfalls freezes you both in place. Duncan’s gaze snaps down the long stretch of the barracks to his right. Peering up over his thigh with your mouth still full you see a figure standing about thirty yards off, down the hall where the barracks branch off into other rooms.

It’s Mylan. He doesn’t move, it’s hard to read his expression from here but he seems frozen, staring at the two of you.

Duncan’s expression of keen attention breaks and a wicked, self-satisfied grin replaces it. You watch him shoot the look darkly and purposefully at Mylan before turning back to you.

At first there’s a terrible rush of nerves, but it dissipates into a deviant thrill; the Swordmaster wants Mylan to watch.

But you’re willing to show him more.

Duncan’s cock slides wetly from your mouth and you gasp, your face a ruin of spit and watering eyes. His fingers loosen in the back of your hair, regarding you with a quizzical look of mild disappointment. He thinks you’re leaving.

You get to your feet, letting your eyes roam freely between Duncan and your observer while you unbutton your fly. Moving around Duncan’s side you shove your pants and underwear around your knees and brace your hands down on the low bench right next to him, presenting your ass and sopping cunt for the younger recruit to see.

Duncan is looking at you with awe. You cant your head innocently, licking your swollen lips.

“I thought you wanted to show me off-?”

His lips collide aggressively with yours before the words are barely out of your mouth. Holding your face in one strong hand while he strokes his wet cock with the other.

Fuck, you’re something else. Whatever he throws at you, you always find a way to outmatch him. He can’t get enough of it.

You just about catch the fiendish smile he gives Mylan as he gets to his feet – it’s so like that look he has right before he parries a strike. His boots push your feet a little wider and he runs his solid, spit-wet cock up and down your displayed cunt. The fingers of his left hand lock in the crease of your hip and he’s pushing into you, stretching you open exquisitely, terribly slow.

A smothered cry of desperation leaves you and your fingers grip the edges of the bench, white knuckled. You can’t help it – you shove back against him, sheathing him into you completely and feeling the nudge of him against your womb. His fingers pinch tight on your hip like a warning but he still groans as you take him.

Glancing back, you see Mylan still standing near the end of the corridor, eyes locked to the two of you hypnotically. It goes to your head, you’re giggling. You shove back again, the depth of it bordering discomfort but it’s too good and Duncan can’t take it anymore either.

His arm wraps below your ribs, a hand slipping up beneath your shirt to knead your breasts hard enough to leave finger marks.

“I’ll show you off…” He vows in your ear.

And then the impact of his hips against your ass knocks the breath out of you. You feel his exhales on the back of your neck with each short, brutal thrust and were he not holding you up, you would collapse flat against the bench. In moments like this you comprehend the full strength of him, the rigorous conditioning that has made him the soldier he is. The fingers on your hip slide down and beneath you to where his cock sinks deep, feeling himself fucking you, running his thumb hard over the crest of your sex.

You come suddenly, sharply, just about strangling the scream that nearly makes it out of your throat. You’re gripping him too tight and he feels it. With one last hard shove he’s so deep and unravelling, spilling within you. He lets you fold forward again, holding your hips so hard against his body you lose track of where he begins and you end.

Your mind is drifting on the ether of the afterglow and the intoxication of him; the barracks become immaterial. You think of blades and war machines, the beckoning of Arrakis and the desert and Duncan’s smile. His pride in you, and his feverish desire to possess you.

Still hard, his cock slips free and you whimper at the absence of him but he’s already in front of you, holding your face in his hands. The whimper vanishes in his soft kiss, and with your ass still in the air Duncan’s warm come leaks out of your soft, ruined cunt and down your thighs. It drips from you, spotting the stone floor of the barracks.

Behind you, Mylan stands open mouthed, then finally turns and darts away furtively.

But neither of you care about him now, you’re lost to each other. You don’t even bother covering yourself, the come cools on your skin and you stay bent over.

“I really hope they don’t court martial you.” You manage as Duncan’s lips finally break from yours.

There’s that smile. It scatters you like sand in the wind.

“They won’t. But I wouldn’t care if they shot me for it, I’d still do that again.”

#duncan idaho #duncan idaho x reader #duncan idaho smut #duncan idaho x y/n #duncan idaho fanfiction #dune #dune fanfiction

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actuallysara · 2 years

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Rafael Silva and Ronen Rubinstein for Out Magazine

Fortunately, out actors Ronen Rubinstein and Rafael Silva have the chemistry to bring these two Lone Star boys to life.

“The biggest thing is all paths lead to the wedding,” Rubinstein adds.

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva #rafael x ronen #tarlos #sposts #911 lone star cast #ls interview

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