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waitineedaname · 7 months

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shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in

Edward Elric

considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10

Most of the Amestrian military

pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10

Fu and Lan Fan

these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.

Ling and Mei

on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts

Greedling and Bradley

it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.

Greed

THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense

Lust

okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.

Father and Izumi

guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect

Envy

PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10

#fma #fmab #don't take this too seriously I'm just playing around #the main inspiration for this post was the opportunity to pick on greed and envy lmao #I love the spikes on fu and lan fan's outfits so so much #they also have them on their gauntlet things and it rules #I think lan fan should get spiked brass knuckles #I feel bad ranking izumi so low but I do not know how she's fighting in sandals. ma'am. how do you keep them on your feet.#there are some others I didn't include #scar is wearing like. loafers kinda? just normal shoes #which is impressive considering he's on his feet p much all the time #and the briggs soldiers have different boots I think #but I didn't want this post to get too long unnecessarily

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inkskinned · 1 year

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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evasive-anon · 4 months

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Jason was having a pretty OK time with the league of assassins, sure getting dunked in a lazarus pit sucked and Bruce turned out to be a scumbag who didn't care about him, but at least he isn't dead. He even liked most of the new skills he was learning there so on the whole being with the league seemed like a pretty good deal to him until Talia woke him up in the middle of the night and left him alone with two child assassins.

Or, a demon twins AU where when Talia realizes her father intends to have her boys fight to the death takes action first by deciding to take all her kids and leave the league. Talia either dies or is separated from them in the initial escape and now Jason just has a bag of supplies and a letter from Talia explaining the plan to get to Gotham. Jason has to get himself and two 7 year olds out of the Himalayas, across a desert, and over 12k miles to Gotham. Only now the league members hunting them down want them dead or worse and Jason isn't too confident that B will accept them given their kill counts.

Featuring:

Good Mom Talia. she loves her kids. Did she teach them to kill? Sure, but that's an important life skill.

Single Teen Mom Jason. He's the oldest and in charge but he also will not answer any questions about The Plan™ given he isn't committed to Talia's but also doesn't have a set alternative. Oscillates between looking forward to just dumping his new little brothers with Bruce so they'll be his problem and thinking of just moving somewhere random in the US and keeping them based entirely on how cute vs annoying they are at that time. Didn't realize how much he relied on Talia to help him with things until she is gone. He's really trying his best but he wasn't all that emotionally stable before this so hang in there.

Angry Smol Dami. He's still drinking the LoS punch and really dislikes that he is now considered a traitor. Can't stand that Jason won't answer any of his very relevant questions. Is actually very scared but will not show it. Misses his mom. Didn't even know he had siblings until his mom yoinked him out of bed that night and brought him to Jason and Danny and started all this. Physically the stronger twin. Thinks Danny is dragging them down in fights and also may blame him a bit because clearly his mother only did all this to spare him.

Danny, reincarnated with limited access to his memories and powers. Has been trying to keep his powers a secret. Talia knew about them but never told anyone but she may have hinted at it in her letter to Jason. Not the strongest physically but very good at stealth and social interactions. Didn't know he had and older brother or twin before Jason woke him up at Talia's instruction that night. Thinks Damian is mean and has faith Jason knows what he's doing even if that is very much untrue.

#escape the LoS demon twins prompt #dropping extras at the end in the tags for fun #demon twins au #dpxdc prompt #fanfic prompt #dpxdc #dp x dc #dcxdp #dc x dp #original post #long post #non-canon compliant #danny phantom crossover #batman crossover #Athanasia and Mara could be added to the party as well for extra fun #but I don't know how familiar the phandom side is with those characters so I didn't include them in this #also out of some mercy for this Jason tbh cause even 2 kids would already be a pain for a teenager #if Mara is there then Damian would probably vibe with her the most in spite of their rivalry cause she's probably distrust Jay too #and she would probably also resent becoming a traitor so they'd relate to each other #If Athanasia is in the crew then I think she'd be clocked as the weakest link and Damian would probably disapprove of her instead of Danny #Danny could also be full human in this AU #powerset if reincarnated is whatever you want but I was thinking invisibility for brief periods and partial intagability #like he can disappear for a couple seconds or phase a weapon through him in a pinch #but he can't do it a lot or maybe can only do it sometimes #i don't imagine Jason has pit rage in this just trauma #I imagine Jason being 16/17yo

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flaticeball · 7 months

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hey! as the first season of connor bedard gets underway i, your local indigenous hockey fan, have a request of you: please don't let this kid's sure to be marvellous and jaw-dropping rookie season make you complacent with the racism of the blackhawks as an organization. it is beyond heinous that they were able to secure the first overall pick this year for a number of reasons i'm sure we're all familiar with, but i am pleading with the hockey community not to let the racism of this org fall through the cracks.

they drafted connor bedard and handed him a jersey with a giant racist caricature on the front. their mascot is named tommy hawk. they continuously fail to curtail their fans' egregious displays of anti-indigenous racism at games.

i'm not going to ask anyone not to post about bedard. i know he's huge news and i'm bummed as all hell that i won't be able to enjoy the beginning of what is sure to be an incredible career myself. but i am asking, given that his presence on the team is likely to increase the prevalence of people making and reblogging posts about the blackhawks, that you please care, loudly and actively, about the racism of this organization and how much it hurts indigenous fans to see that go unquestioned so often.

consider mentioning it in posts. consider amplifying the voices of indigenous fans and community members about the issues of these types of sports organizations. consider reading up on the history of the person they claim to 'honour' with their hideous effigy of a logo. consider censoring the logo in your posts if you are able to (please do this if you are able to). consider tagging posts so that indigenous fans are at the very least able to blacklist that team and not have to see it.

above all, please just. don't forget about it. don't forget about us. we belong here too.

#gav gab #connor bedard #chicago blackhawks #i jsut. it makes me feel sick every time i see that thing.#this racist caricature of a native man's head on their jerseys on their ice in their locker room #a native man who had his body mutilated in death including having his head removed #it's fucking grotesque and it makes me literally sick #i was really looking forward to see what that little wizard boy could do!#and now it is wholly ruined for me #and i keep seeing people just. posting about it like this team is normal. like it's any other team #no ethical consumption under sports is true but some things ARE worse than others #and there is no justification or excuse for being a blackhawks fan in the year 2023. there just isn't.#and like..... it bums me the fuck out for bedard himself too #like he didn't choose this #he just got like. put into this situation #it sucks #he's a teenager and now he's in the middle of this whole mess he didn't create and isn't responsible for #and i can't expect him to do anything about it #but boy was i excited to see him play #and now it just..... yeah #well.

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cementcornfield · 5 months

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Joe and Jake goofin' around on the sideline 🥲

#did i go back through the whole game to try to find that moment balance mentioned where it looked like joe was singing??#not really. i did rewatch the whole game but just to experience some level of the joy i felt monday again.#what's interesting though!!! is that i rewatched the whole normal espn game and found nothing!!#but then i was watching manningcast highlights and there it was #i went back to exactly that point on the other broadcast and they didn't show it #so they apparently show different things in the manningcast than the normal one??#including this little fun moment that most people missed??#thank god balance watches manningcast everyone #joe burrow #jake browning #i could tag ocho and the manning brothers but that's not why we're watching this clip

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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landing

#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to #include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap #smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied #to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh #yyh #yu yu hakusho #yukina #hiei #skrunkart #also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip #anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs #anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more #would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand #enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do #edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia #but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one #WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW #ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY #also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it

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canisalbus · 5 months

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what part of italy are machete and vasco from? not their birthplace since from what i've seen you're still workshopping that. where do they live? i assume rome?

In the 1500's setting Vasco lives and was born in Florence, his family has lived there for centuries. Machete was born in Sicily, was taken to Naples to serve as an apprentice and ended up living and working in Rome (and more specifically today's Vatican city, which as you may know has been an independent country since 1929 but wasn't back then). They first met when they were both studying in Venice in their late teens/early twenties.

I think in the modern au they live together somewhere in Florence.

#characters travelling this extensively at the time #from one end of the country to another #may not be very realistic but it's more fun to include a variety of interesting historical locations #let me be greedy and self indulgent for a moment #(not to mention that Italy wasn't unified until late 1800's and was instead made of various states kingdoms and duchies #that didn't always get along with each other that well and were culturally and linguistically diverse #and some of them were actually ruled Spain and Austria for example)#I say this as lovingly as possible but the history of Italian peninsula as a whole is just a real clusterfuck #I feel like I still haven't wrapped my head around it adequately to be explaining any of this to you #but please be patient with me I promise I'm trying my best #answered #anonymous

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identityquest · 7 months

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I recently found some old sketches for my Kentucky-based fakemon project and decided to clean em up. These two lines are based on the state butterfly, the Viceroy, and its Müllerian mimic, the Monarch.

Both would be a simple bug/flying combo, but I think it'd be cool if they had abilities that played together when they're sent into double battles. Maybe something that increases evasion and defense when they're on the battlefield at the same time, or maybe something niche like a chance to poison opponents when hit with Lick or Bite.

#digital art #fakemon #pokémon #apparently the viceroy is also a mimic of the soldier and queen butterflies. didn't know that!#it would be neat to include those and make different formes for the viceroy but neither is native to kentucky unfortunately #mm wait though. my prof studies environmental changes.#maybe i could make some 'non native' pokemon that are moving in from other regions #like theyve been documented in other regions before but theyve moved due to various factors... mmmmm options options options...#also. my stupid ass didnt know what a viceroy was. like for people. learned about it during research and i was like goddammit #THATS why the viceroy is named that way. its a representation of a monarch... aka a mimic. dammitttttt #ANYWAYS goodnight mwah #appachia region

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arielluva · 1 year

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remembered the time me and my friend were trolling kids on roblox in 2019 and had to draw it as them

#my art #jjba #jojolands #jodio joestar #dragona joestar #also included some other screenshot i took that was funny but didn't want to make a whole comic for #anyways #the first one was from me i think because haha funny 9th grade band kind communism humor #and then the second was my friend (and also me) calling this guy jake from state farm until he reported my friend #that one was mostly funny bc he referred to my friend as the name in her username which is. not her actual name #also the 'bye d sucker' screenshot i took bc how could i not include it in a roblox themed post #*band kid not band kind #2023

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thosewildcharms · 18 days

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Any personal headcanons on Rick and Michonne as a couple? Like their favorite things about the other, what they argue about, love languages ect. lol they’ve set up camp in my brain and I just want more of them 🙇🏻‍♀️

this is so funny because i've been thinking about their love languages ever since danai did that interview with YNB after 1x04! yvette said rick's is words of affirmation and michonne's is acts of services, and I definitely agree but I also think they display pretty much all of them, and quite a bit? rick is obviously into giving gifts and loves quality time (family fun day, begging her to spend just a few more days on the road in 7x12) and to say they both love physical touch is an understatement. this gorgeous gifset highlights it all beautifully.

anyway, some headcanons~

I really don't think they argue about much? they are very in sync most of the time. historically their big arguments are about how to handle major threats (negan, the crm, rick's PTSD) and since nothing bad is ever happening to them ever again because I said so there's no need to fight about those things anymore

michonne's favorite things about rick are how affectionate he is with his family, his strength, his accent, and his hair

rick's favorite thing about michonne is everything

i actually think they talk about books a lot. they're both nerdy as hell in different ways and love that about each other

michonne likes to cook and is very experimental while rick likes to bake (mostly secret family pie recipes) and they love feeding each other and their kids

michonne absentmindedly sings and does little dances when she's doing things around the house and rick stops whatever he's doing to lean against the wall and watch her and smile

that scene we saw in 9x01 where they cuddle up in bed and unpack their day was a ritual they started way back at the prison, even though back then it was obviously platonic (we do actually see them talking when everyone else is asleep several times throughout twd). they would linger and chat before heading to their respective cells at night. in the six years michonne spent without rick, she continued the tradition herself, talking to him out loud alone in their bedroom

rick DEFINITELY teases michonne about being oblivious to his feelings for her before The Couch

michonne hits back by teasing him about Whatever the Fuck He Was Doing With Jessie 💀

you didn't ask for grimes family headcanons but:

after they got home, michonne has a moment like that scene at the end of kill bill vol 2 and has a near silent hysterical laugh-cry of relief by herself in the bathroom before calmly walking back out to join her family. only rick notices

rick on the other hand is afraid to let any of them out of his sight. he spends the first six months he's back home being a total insomniac watching the three of them sleep because he's afraid if he closes his eyes he'll wake up alone back at the CRM

antony azor who plays rj is apparently very shy and reserved but opened up unexpectedly with andrew lincoln and so obviously this is also exactly what happened with rick and rj. father and son bonded INSTANTLY

his first night back, judith asks rick to finish reading the wizard of oz to her because he never got a chance to. it takes a good five minutes for him to compose himself but she does finally get the full story from her dad

rick and michonne do have an actual wedding ceremony, but it's just for them, judith and rj.

#richonne #the ones who live #people should definitely reblog this and add their own headcanons btw!#oh i also have this very specific scene in my head but idk how plausible it is because i didn't watch enough of late seasons twd #so i didn't include it but it goes like this:#rick and michonne are just kinda wandering around alexandria and michonne has just stepped away for a quick second #and some random alexandrian (or whoever) who has never met him but knew michonne had a significant other who was presumed dead #and who also thought michonne was nuts for believing otherwise #sidles up to rick like oh HI are you new here??#only for michonne to suddenly appear and. with MUCH delight. be like oh HELLO KAREN have you met my dead husband?#rick is tickled. he has no idea what's going on but gets snarky in solidarity #i just REALLY want michonne to have many opportunities to be smug about being right that rick was alive AND for bringing him home lol

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covertblizzard · 1 month

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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"

#jason todd #kyle rayner #jaykyle #mypost #dc thoughts #vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or #i'll make them wear the get along shirt again #WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then #wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out #dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings #kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little #roy is the fight scene choreographer #i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough #actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals #ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals #raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical #rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED #connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead #he doesnt want this #steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too #jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials #tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia #damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art #this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH #damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up #dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO #i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles #are to be determined

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minamill · 27 days

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Happy Trans Day Of Visibility!

Viv (she/her) Sun-ok (they/them)

Sovann (he/they) André (he/him)

Dahlia (she/her) Farrah (she/her)

#just a bunch of my trans sims #didn't include cedar since he's fizzy's brainchild and erwin's ea's #and some others are waiting on makeovers bc they're from yearsss ago and some may be summers kids but i'm 🤐#i just realised i forgot sun-ok's scar ughh #ts4 #sims 4 #cas #*viv #*sun-ok #*sovann #*andre #*dahlia #*farrah

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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Realizing you can never please anybody can be a devastating loss... until you internalize exactly what that means.

When you sacrifice so much of yourself for others, you forget that you leave yourself behind. Not being able to please everybody means you can start learning how to fully embody who you are instead of juggling everybody else's baggage, trying to make something work out.

You might feel devastated about this, thinking you're terrible for not pleasing everybody. The truth is, it was impossible from the start, and learning who you are is infinitely rewarding

#mental health #encouragement #encouraging words #people-pleasing is honestly (in my experience) the most soul-crushing things out there #and i wish more and more people could learn how to let go of the impulse to self-persecute...#...and to let go of the idea that literally the *entire world* comes before them #i think the thing that really set me on this path was realizing that few people would do what i did...#...that they would see that nobody is fighting their corning *including them*...#...and that few people will actually fight your corner *for* you...#...and part of that realization enraged me because it's like... everybody abandons you INCLUDING yourself...#...so you think 'how the fuck didn't i realize that?' and you start to question more and more the reasons you internalized the message...#...that literally everybody matters more than you ever will...#...part of that for me stems from deep systematic abuse and part of it is cultural...#...so you'll find that your drives to do certain things have differwnt influences and some are perfectly fine...#...while others are destroying and depressing and horrific

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feroluce · 13 days

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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)

part 2

Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!

But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.

He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.

And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.

…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.

Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-

Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.

Gepard goes back home. He waits.

The uneasiness doesn't leave him.

"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.

"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.

Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."

Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.

"…I'll be back in one more week."

Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.

The hell.

The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.

He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!

Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.

He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.

He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.

He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.

"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.

"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.

"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.

Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."

Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.

Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.

Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-

"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."

Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.

"Wake up."

Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.

He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.

And he waits and he waits and he waits.

No one he recognizes appears.

#sampard #gepo #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #gepard landau #sampo koski #honkai star rail #hsr #blood #my fics #lucid dreamer #there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams #the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead #Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha #In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up #and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart #Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone #he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard #he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en #it was nice to get the chance to do all that #it was nice

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