#then they TRY TO BUY ANOTHER THING????

[shopwitchvamp]

me the absolute first split second people are acting up in the shop

#yes unfortunately we have to have a blacklist at this point of people not allowed to order anymore #this was actually *more* of an issue back in the day when i was selling handmade crocheted plushies lol #but like explain to me why this has happened with more than one person at this point: #they buy something #then a week or two later they email us/post/leave a review saying how much they hate it and we suck and that they want to return it #then they never send the thing back #continue to go on about how mad they are about it #still never send it back #then they TRY TO BUY ANOTHER THING???? #what is that about #was it just wanting the first thing for free? like trying to bully us into letting you keep it for free??? i don't get it #if you hate it so much why would you order again ???????? #anyway #do this and your order will 100% be canceled #pls never return #thankfully this only applies to like 3 people currently haha #vs the dozen person long etsy blacklist i had for plushies #lots of people wanted them for free or at least i suspect that was what was going on.... it was the wild west out there #exhausting

[puppyeared]

fake ep idea + doodles

#i was thinking abt how funny it would be if there was a shiftythrifting blog equivalent in lmk. and half the stuff on there is #submitted by wukong. so i thought a yard sale ep would be funny lol #basically the hoard becomes problem one way or another and wukong figures the best way to get rid of his junk is thru ebay #somehow ends up selling world ending artifacts to random megapolis citizens so mk mei and redson have to scramble to find em #purposely meant to mirror the weekly shenanigans s1-2 style eps that are really goofy (dumpling ep noodles ep etc) #but it gets darker and darker because MK is not fucking ok after that whole thing with the scroll and some unchecked identity crisis #for me id want him to kind of. freak tf out because they have to find MULTIPLE chaos inducing items that could end the world while trying t #be sillygoofy and funny about it. so hes trying to mask his panic with “ohhh guys its just like the good ol days ^_^ remember that ^_^” #ESPECIALLY after that whole thing with the ink scroll. also mei doesnt buy any of it and is worried for him the whole time #as for the B plot it could be monkey king also trying to be very relaxed abt selling 4000 years worth of stuff and tang getting all huffy #like “these are priceless artifacts that could help us learn so much about the past!! wtf man!!!” #and maybe it reveals smth like wukong not wanting to hold on anymore bc his past weighs him down. and theyre all reminders #i think azure mentioned that wukong is sentimental (idk if that was genuine or lying to mk) so that could be touched on to #so basically. the theme would be some sort of conversation abt nostalgia. i think. im not a writer so its very fuzzy in my head #if anyone wants to add on or include their own spin on it feel free. also included undercut redson as a treat somewhere in there #myart #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk red son #lmk mei #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lmk xiaojiao #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #doodles #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk traffic light trio #yard sale ep

[plounce]

elle and emmett from the legally blonde musical are one of those m/f couples that i think work best as a woman and a man purely because their relationship and how elle wouldn't stay at harvard for him because she has grown to want true respect & success more than a man she loves' approval/desire is like so important to the themes of the story and it's the whole point and it's part of what makes them so good. on the other hand emmett could be such a hot butch lesbian it's crazy i want to eat drywall when i think about emmett forrest but a butch lesbian BUT it simply would not improve and in fact would detract from the themes of the story. they have to be m/f

#chirps #tangentially. i think that a trans man casting for emmett would be really great for a lot of reasons #the scene of elle buying him really nice men's formalwear and finding clothes that he likes and feels good in... #'take it like a man' in general would have such another layer of meaning and love to it #anyway. there would be a really interesting dimension to their relationship in terms of elle embracing hyperfemininity & emmett being trans #and how their respective relationships with & presentations of gender impede them in the upper-class Professional world of harvard #man that'd be really cool... that would add soooo much to the show... #Emmett Forrest. You Must Be Transgender Now. #tbh thinking more. t4t f/m elle/emmett would be so incredible but also so fucking devastating for certain things. BUT THEY TRIUMPH!!!!! #<- all my tags aren't me trying for a 'best of both worlds' option wrt casting. just me thinking abt how the roles gender plays in this sho #and the ways different casting choices could shine light into different facets #the 2022 west end revival had them both as black which also is really great stuff i think... i wanna find a full boot for that

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[ultimateinferno]

Will I ever expect Nintendo writing a Ganondorf who's trying to break the curse and end the cycle? No. I simply think their faithful adherence to the nature of fairytales about the knight rising up to face evil and save the princess is simply that strong. It's a classic (in the most literal sense cite Perseus and Andromeda). It's why I don't believe in a playable Zelda until I see it with my own eyes.

While the earnest nature of providing interesting spins on this millennia old formula is rather endearing, I would welcome earnest breaks in turn as well. Yet until I see it, I simply won't be holding my breath for when it comes.

#no slight to anyone wanting either thing in totk but 35 years of narrative precedence is pretty strong #that being said if you ask me my ''dream Zelda game'' much of the plot involves something regarding either one #i think a zelda game where the king of hyrule is zelda's elder brother. a game where link and zelda have long since been married #and the main villain isnt ganon but say an invader of another kind. #but ganondorf is present. a young traveling mercenary informed of his fate to become the king of evil and trying for a cure from that fate #zelda is not taken but an active participant; frequently joining link traveling around hyrule or breaking off to buy more equipment #and do some scouting of her own #it has botws exploration but maybe some linearized pieces of development like a dungeon thats a fortress wall blocking off parts of the map #random encounters against Ganondorf who's time is running out and desperately trying to find zelda #until the two of you are travelling and he ambushes you. #you can lose and must rescue her from his lair. you can fend him off. or you can defeat him and track him down #the first has minimal changes to the ending of the game. the second has a surprise ganon fight. and the third reveals a quest #one where he explains his plight and help break his curse #and in the end the three of you face the villain side by side #i think that would be a cool game #zelda #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #loz

[mylittleredgirl]

great news for mylittleredgirl survival enthusiasts: i stopped taking that stimulant med today and now at 5 pm i can finally sit up without feeling like my heart or eyes will explode :) unfortunately not taking it also means the severe fatigue is back so i don't want to sit up anyway. still a net positive i suppose.

#trying not to be devastated about this!!! #how am i going to survive the in-person work upon me #starting with: how am i going to both get dressed and walk from the parking lot to the office on the same day #maybe i'll try a half dose of the med tomorrow and split the difference :/ #a doctor suggested i consider another partial leave so i can budget energy for things like Take Walk and Buy Grocery #but like come on. i can't be that coworker again. at that point can i just die in a pile of leaves #just gonna put off that option for a few weeks and Somehow make it thru until one of my colleagues gets back from overseas #the symptoms

[hephaestuscrew]

A book asks the reader to imagine any sensory input of the story, whereas a film or TV show provides both sound and visuals. Audio fiction lives in the space between these two approaches. I think there's a unique power to that middle ground. I love how audio drama asks the listener to co-construct their sensory experience of the story.

Audio drama allows me to simultaneously experience 'This character feels real to me because I've heard their voice' and 'This character feels real to me because I've pictured them myself'.

What the characters are experiencing is both directly presented to me and left to my imagination. There's no page or screen between me and the story. It's there in my ears. It's there in my mind's eye.

There's a strange sense of intimacy to that, the intimacy of feeling like a fly on the wall during a conversation or of hearing a character speaking as if directly to me. Perhaps it sounds contradictory to say that experiencing a story only through sound allows me to feel uniquely connected to that story, but that's one of the reasons why I love audio fiction so much.

#I am conscious that this is very much the perspective of a sighted and hearing person #and I hope that doesn't come across weirdly #I'm just trying to articulate how I feel about it #This is no shade to books/films/TV btw #They are also excellent mediums with their own strengths #Honestly the main reason why podcasts are my primary form of media consumption #is probs that I'm bad at setting aside time to read/watch things #rather than necessarily because of the specific power of audio fiction #but the particular magic of audio fiction is a nice bonus #I don't really buy into the idea that reading is 'active' while watching video is inherently 'passive' #but under that way of thinking audio fiction is kind of between passive and active in an interesting way #podcasts #audio drama #audio fiction #the empty man posteth #I'd be interested to know if this resonates with anyone else or if it's just me #Also another element to this which makes it weirder is that I have a pretty weak visual imagination #so when I say 'mind's eye' that tends to mean vague concepts for me rather than actual images #but it still helps me feel connected to the story in a unique way. Idk

[awkward-teabag]

I have to wonder how many people celebrating AI translation also complain about "broken English" and how obvious it is something was Google translated from another language without a fluent English speaker involved to properly clean up the translation/grammar.

Because I bet it's a lot.

I know why execs are all for it—AI is the new buzzword and it lets them cut jobs thus "save" money and not have to worry about pesky labour laws when one employs humans—but everyone else?

There was some outcry when Crunchyroll fired many of their translators in favour of AI translation (with some people to "clean up the AI's work") but I can't help but think that was in part because it was Japanese-to-English and personally affected them. Same when Duolingo fired many of their translators in favour of LLM translation. Meanwhile companies are firing staff when it's English to another language and there's this idea that that's fine or not as big a deal because English is "easy" to translate and/or because people don't think of how it will impact people in non-English countries.

Also it doesn't affect native English speakers so it doesn't get much headway in the news cycle or online anyway because so much of the dominant media is from English-speaking countries and English-speakers dominate social media.

But different languages have different grammar structures that LLMs don't do, and I grew up on "jokes" about people speaking in "broken English" and mocking people who use the wrong word when it was clearly a literal translation but the meaning was obvious long before LLMs were a thing, too. In fact, the specific way a character spoke broken English has been a way to denote their native tongue for decades, usually in a racist way.

Then Google translate came out and "Google-translated English" became an insult for people and criticism of companies because it was clearly wonky to native speakers. Even now, LLMs—which are heavily trained on English compared to other languages—don't have a natural output so native English speakers can clock LLM-generated text if it's longer than a sentence or two.

But, for whatever reason, it's not seen as a problem when it goes the other way because fuck non-English readers or people who want to read in their native tongue I guess.

#and it's not like no people were doing translations so wonky translations were better than nothing #it's actual translators being fired for a subpar replacement #and anyone who keeps their job suddenly being responsible for cleaning up llm output rather than what they trained in #(which can take just as much time or longer than doing the translation by hand from scratch) #(if you want it done right anyway) #hell to this day i hear people complain about written translations of indigenous words and how they 'aren't english enough' #even though they're using the ipa and use a system white english people came up with in the first place #and you can easily look up the proper pronunciation and hear it spoken #but there's such a double-standard where it's expected that other languages cater to english/english speakers #but that grace and accommodation doesn't go the other way #and it's the failing of non-english speakers when an english translation is broken #you see it whenever monolingual english speakers travel to other countries and utterly refuse to learn the language #but if someone doesn't speak in unaccented (to them) english fluently in their home country the person 'isn't trying hard enough' #this is just the new version of that where non-english speakers are supposed to do more work and put up with subpar translations #even as a native english speaker/writer i get a (much) lesser version of this because i write with canadian spelling #and some people get pissed if their internet experience is disrupted by 'ou' instead of 'o' or '-re' instead of '-er' #because dialects and regional phrasing/spelling is a thing #human translators can (or should) be able to account for it but llms are not smart enough to do so #and that's not even getting into slang and how llms don't account for it #or how llms can put slurs into translations because it doesn't do nuance or context and doesn't know the language #if you ever complained about buying something from another country that came with machine-translated instructions #you should be pissed at companies cutting english-to-[language] staff in favour of glorified google translate #because the companies are effectively saying they're fine with non-native speakers getting a wonky/broken version

[vanlegion]

After careful thought...

I am now convinced RVB is, in a nutshell at its core, two twenty year long dimetric slowburn romance tropes comprised of viewing each from the lens of 'I'd die for you/I'd live for you' while accounting for the repercussions of those choices on the lives of those around them while also examining at the same time the 'Inability to let go/ever start' and how it ultimately locks your mind in a perpetual state of 'What if?' without taking the risk of DOING all by asking the simple fucking question

Ever wonder why we're here?

#But with Space Marines and War and PTSD #RvB #Chex #Grimmons #I'm mostly being silly about this #but i mean.... I don't think I'm technically wrong #Obvi there's a whole hell of a lot more #but eh just trying to joke a little here #But HOLY HELL Binging this show in three days was insane #I'd watched it ages ago up to like S10 but this time I went through ever season and damn it's just... become something so much MORE #Church #Tex #Griff #Simmons #I have a lot of feels for these dumb fucks #I hate 19 is the end... feels so off... wish they could have done an even 20. #I also don't buy this whole retcon thing... like... it makes no sense #but that's another post entirely #Red vs Blue #ps Church and Griff are pretty much the same brand of asshole and I think that's why they are my favs... Ngl

[insteading]

Inspired by blakbonnet gifset from s2e2.

I've been thinking about how the showrunners decided Breakdown-Era Ed would be so hot. OFMD has things it is Looney Tunes about-- physics, abdominal anatomy, the historical record, the value of gaydar as a navigational device across large spans of ocean. But as many people have pointed out, it's pretty emotionally realistic, to the point where the fights Ed and Stede have are recognizable to many of us.

I don't know about you, but I find that crying all night on the floor results in blotchy skin, red eyes, a generally puffy face, a wicked dehydration headache, and a hoarse and adenoidal voice. The magic of fiction rescues Ed from some of that. But also: "I want my corpse to look fantastic" is absolutely a thought Ed would have at this point in his trajectory (and I think is one signal of how ambivalent he feels about dying). His depression hasn't blunted his emotions and convinced him that nothing matters: feeling abandoned still matters a great deal, even as he's starting to abandon the hope that he'll feel better some day. And he still cares about how other people perceive him-- which is frankly essential if he's going to goad crewmates into mutiny against him.

I've seen some great metas about how Ed wants someone to care enough about him to kill him-- or how he really wants to be talked out of wanting to die. Both those takes are even more plausible to me having watched season 2 in its entirety! In s2e6 Ed tells Ned Lowe "I don't respect you enough to kill you: you're not worth the poison." Ed thinks of killing as something that inextricably and intimately links two people. And at the beginning of s2e7 Ed credits the vision of mer!Stede with saving his life-- though I fully endorse the idea that Ed conjured mer!Stede up because of the persistent hope Ed so admires in Stede. Just as Ed's internal Hornigold pushes him off a cliff, Ed's internal Stede reminds him that he is capable of feeling something other than pain, and that there is reason to hope his life will not always look as bleak as it has been recently.

In this moment, though, before Ed comes up for air and life begins again, Ed goes to Izzy with a loaded gun. Why Izzy and not Fang or Archie? I think Ed sees Izzy as the QAR crew member with both the most reason to kill him and the most reason to talk him out of wanting to die, due to a combination of toxic masculinity and what I see as frustrated romantic obsession. In the "Izzy probably cares enough to kill me" column:

s1e10: Izzy threatens mutiny: "I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward had better watch his fucking step."

s2e1: Izzy blames the "fucked" atmosphere aboard the QAR on Ed's "feelings for Stede Bonnet." Ed hasn't talked about those feelings because that's not the relationship he has with this crew. From Ed's perspective, Izzy is publicly calling him out for not having rid himself of those feelings. Which means somehow Ed hasn't watched his fucking step enough, despite throwing himself into raiding. Izzy's threat from the end of s1 still echoes.

s2e2: Izzy's gunshot wound has gone septic. Even if he survives having had his leg removed? Izzy lashed out at Ed at the end of s1 for being soft. He's got a very calvinist understanding of where human worth comes from, not just incompatible with a disability rights framework but also incompatible with accommodation and support from the crew. All Izzy's emotions convert to anger.

In the "Izzy might try to convince me not to die" column:

s1e10: The torture scene in s2e6 established in canon something that many viewers intuited at the end of season 1, when Ed lashed out and choked Izzy, and then again when he fed Izzy a toe: Izzy finds pain arousing. Izzy manifestly gets some satisfaction out of Blackbeard's attention even-- and maybe especially-- when the terms of that attention are painful for him. (It doesn't seem to matter to Izzy whether Ed enjoys causing him pain or whether the dynamic between them compounds Ed's suffering.)

s2e1: Izzy told Ed-- in a voice that made it absolutely clear how much he resented saying it-- "I have had ... love for you."

I think Ed's presentation in most of s2e2 sets up the scene where Ed hands Izzy the gun and plays on both his anger and his love. The Ed of "Red Flags" is simultaneously Peak Outrageous and Peak Hot, and that's why many of us reacted to the stills the studio released from this episode with variations on "s/he's so gender," long before we knew the context in which those stills would appear. Ed's wearing the leather that's his longtime crew's shared signature, calling to mind the history he shares with Izzy. But he's also wearing the pearls and the dangly sword earring, and he's got soft strands of hair framing his face that an early 2000s sorority girl would envy. And, well, we know that a silk gown to Izzy is like a Red Flag to a bull: he seems to find femme touches in menswear infuriating.

Seriously bbg, wild to say to someone who's romantically obsessed with you that *anything* they did in your dream last night was good for you, even if it was murder.

Ultimately, Izzy refuses both to kill Ed and to talk him out of dying. He acts neither on his femmephobia nor on his need for Blackbeard to stay around and satisfy some fraction of his obsession. "Clean up your own mess," from the person on the QAR who both loves and hates Ed the most, must sound to him like "You're not worth the poison." And coming from someone whose tolerance for poison is astonishingly high? Ouch.

#tw: suicidality #this was going to be a novel in the tags so i made a post instead #i find it easier to buy buttons turning into a bird than s2e6 izzy wanting to try drag makeup #but that is another post #also if just one person on this ship asked candidly for what they want life aboard would be more pleasant / tho prob less good tv #also ed doesn't have to return izzy's feelings in order to intuit them #if knowing someone's worst fear means you own them / what of knowing someone's desires? #is this manipulative? maybe? but people in extremis do extreme things #edward teach #izzy #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2e2

[maggi-cube]

What can you even say to this?

TWs for death, child death, blood, and things of that nature. I’m not sure what other tags would help

#There are so many stories here so many tragedies some I didn’t hear about before now and some that have stayed with me. #i think about Reem when I try to sleep #And I have to do the little I can and continue to live while there’s so much happening daily #every second another life is lost and when we are crying out for the world to see their humanity they go aww :( so sorry we must kill them #i am in a warm bed and they are not #i have food and they do not #i am safe and they are not #my friends are alive and theirs are not #my family can find me and they don’t know where theirs is #i am not trying to make this about me but it’s like. living is a reminder that others aren’t even surviving #and when I ask what could possibly merit this kind of horror there’s no reason that makes sense #i feel like I’m going insane #i am donating i am boycotting i am buying secondhand at best #i spent my last bit of money on esims #i just. god why is there such suffering for a people who have done nothing but live why is there always pain for those just trying to live #why is it so hard to live quietly? why can’t we make things right right NOW #tw death #tw child death #free palestine

[separatist-apologist]

Wait you know how to make butter??? That’s incredible!! When you’re feeling up to it, could you share your secrets? Cause your hair is so big it’s full of them yes?

The thing about making bread and butter is that it is VERY easy. 0 skill required, I PROMISE. Bread is as old as humanity, and butter is right behind it.

All you need is heavy cream and some sort of mixer (or the will to shake a jar). Take however much heavy cream your heart desires, pour it into a bowl and mix.

Mix it until it looks like whipped cream and then keep going. Mix until you have both a liquid AND a solid in your bowl. It'll be yellow and look chunky (but like butter and not cottage cheese) + a milky white liquid. SAVE IT. DONT GET RID OF IT. THATS YOUR BUTTERMILK FOR SOME OTHER THING (biscuits perhaps???).

Once you have your solids and you have SAVED THE LIQUID OH MY GOD THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME, smush it all together and rinse the butter out under cold water which just helps the shelf life. You can keep it in the bowl and use a spoon or my method, in your hands- whatever feels most connected to your angry ancestors. Rinse out the remaining buttermilk, though, and then you have plain butter.

I like to salt mine but do you. Put garlic in it, if you want!

#this has been another episode of MB bakes #i think for convenience buying butter makes sense #and it can feel daunting to try and make something you only see on shelves but a lot of things are actually very easy #and fun and taste good with very little effort #and once you master simple breads and butters you can go on to master more complex breads #well be making our own croissants on this blog by march

[blue-da-ba-dee]

WOW

#ANDREW FREIDMAN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE🔥🔥🔥 #quite literally trying to buy a chip and I'm here for it #seeing if it works out is another thing😂 #dodgers

[mihrsuri]

Ways being rich would really help - there are two pieces of clothing I would really like, total $400 (i have to buy none synthetic fabric because my skin is in hell) and I know know this is a ridiculous privilege of a problem but it would be so nice to just be able to buy the clothes straight away and not worry about groceries and bill paying as a result and again, I’m fortunate in so many ways but…I would just like to be comfortable, to be able to commission artists, to get my friends gifts when I want, to buy books and pretty things and tea and travel and not worry about money.

#listen also let me say that having to earn money and earn things via [redacted] also #it really fucks with my brain #i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered #(anyway i am going to save up and hopefully still in stock) #trying to build a wardrobe that is Me (soft cottagecore princess) is it turns out #a huge thing for me re Maybe Am Allowed To Be Person Not Doll??? #(it was dressed in skimpy short things it was only for one thing to #be used #it wasn’t anything #(it’s like planning my space for the future permanent housing move in dec/jan) #(i might be allowed to build the home space i #want???? #(actually another thing i would love: interior designer consult) #(because i know my style but like Buying Stuff?????!!??) #(if someone else could curate it that would help)

[totalspiffage]

My brain feels like it's been in a complete fog for like 6 months but I'm trying my best. That and the resurgence of nerve pain and NEW pain in my spine has been great I love bodies.

#trying to catch up on basic human things but it's like #every time i start to get anywhere #things set me back or i have another crisis that drains me mentally and physically #I've been wanting this wheelchair and i can't get it even tho it's literally like 1k off the usual 4k price #bc i just had to buy a car and spend my savings and more on fixing my old car #plus I'm not getting hired and don't have energy for auditions which is #great #I'm tired and i feel like giving up #but oh no now i have to finish maybe buying a house and dealing with family and moving #so that's fun #anyway if I'm quiet that's why I've been so isolated #the house isn't my own money obv but it's bc my grandma sold my late dad's place so she wanted me to have a place #that's the only way we're getting houses gang #i don't wanna be ungrateful it's very exciting it's just a lot and I have to be put together about if

[blooming-cecilia]

me when im self indulgent once again

#tulip draws #starbard #nameless bard x oc #dont look too hard i felt too lazy to properly color it in #and too lazy to also shade it wkjfjs #anyway. #new yume huh #...yeah 🧎 #giggling at starbard tho?? #came up with it on the spot and ive been told it sounds like a biscuit brand #and then another one tells me it sounds like starburst the candy and now im extra giggly over it #so silly #i think bard would be a little shit and encourage you to get distracted or give in to temptations #thats essentially what this is about actually JSJXJ #something caught tala's eye and bard knowing her well enough immediately goes #“you know you want it~ buy yourself the thing you deserve it <3” #asshole i am trying to save my money!!! #(hes very convincing and persuasive but even if he wasn't she easily gives in anyway) #he just has that kind of chaotic vibes i think #everything i think and say about bard is based off of vibes atp #on my knees mhy throw me some crumbs to live off of for a while