#then asked if I could use an out if the way booth at Tim Horton’s | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

juuls · 2 years

Text

I keep falling asleep everywhere and it’s only been a few days. Any Spoonies of the Fibro kind have any experience with this..:….? : Basically on Wednesday my body started hurting everywhere and not just in the trigger points. No new meds, no new habits. But it got so unbearable that my brother dropped me off at the hospital (he had to pick me up about a half dizen hours later because of Raid, which I said was wonderfully fine (I used to raid, myself lol)).

I kept falling asleep everywhere. Waiting room, doctor’s room before he got in, doctor’s room after, and then at the coffee shop I waited at for my brother (the staff were so sweet and basically adopted me).

Had to fight (well, I gently pushed, not fought) for even 3 days of the lowest form of ‘narcotic family meds. It helped but I’ll definitely talk to my regular doc about it on June 1st.

Doc was a little worried about a blood-borne virus or another type of virus that starts eating st the joints. Which actually jives with what my physiotherapist said on Tuesday when she noticed arthritic nodules at the base of my fingers that weren’t there a year ago. Sigh. Would be a shame if I had gout. :P

And yet he still didn’t draw blood or seab or anything fir other samples???

People hear ‘fibromyalgia’ and seem to just close off half their brain. Ridiculous.

But yes. Mostly my question is: have any of you experienced excessive lethargy and sharp pain everywhere on your body, not just triggers? Any hints or clues from your own life experience?

Medical side of Tumblr, I call upon you with this ring of—wait, wrong script. 😂

But yeah, any and all advice would be loving. When it’s just my trigger points hurting, I do know how to lie down to minimize the pain. This, though? Far more widespread snd the lethargy is likely because of not sleeping well.

*violently shakes magic 8 ball* GIVE ME A CLEAR ANSWER, YOU HUNK OF JUNK

And before you ask: yes I had a fully normal (besides herniation and degeneration) MRI done in 2018, osteoporosis check every few, pap every 3, somewhat regular blood tests (unless they look at the wrong things…

So hey! It’s great I’m not nauseous nearly as bad as those 8 months were but oh lookie, a new problem. Or one I was ignoring on purpose while dealing with the nausea.

Sad part is I can only have a ~1km walk a day and it’s been so lovely out. I can sit on the comfy deck chairs but everyone else has to walk Yg noe. My baby. 😢🥲🥰

Off to go fall asleep outside since I just now crossed “fall asleep in shower” off my list. Jeebies H. Crab.

Any help is great, even commiserating! Love all y’all and thanks for listening to me be all upset. Time for some fanfic I’ll likely get a paragraph into then zzzzzz. :P

💜💙💜❤️🧡💙💜

1 note · View note

lucien-stan · 3 years

Note

This is just funny a funny story for you (well its funny now) This is about the time I forgot other people had ears. So it was a few years ago (pre pandemic) and I was out at like a Tim Hortons with my dad. So he is reading articles on his phone and not listening to me in any way. I tried saying a bunch of different things and I just got grunts and uhuhs. Now me being me, I decided to launch into making up a gruesome mystery story, with lots of super strange details and weird things (I wanted to see how far I could get before he noticed what I was doing) So I've been talking for about 15 minutes now and I hear a gasp from behind me. And that is when I realized there were people in the booth behind us, and they had been listening to my entire story. I stopped then, and my dad eventually started paying attention again. (I wisely kept my big mouth shut) and as we were leaving, one of the people from the booth behind us pulls me aside and asks if I'm okay, or if I need anything. And then I had to explain to my dad and these people what I had been doing. My dad was very unimpressed, but luckily the people from behind us thought I was hilarious. (I still do this when people are ignoring me, butttt I pay more attention to my surroundings now 😂)

I LOVE THIS. my great uncle was being an idiot yesterday and turned to my Japanese cousin and was like "do you speak japanese?" And my cousin doesn't and told him this like 10 times and finally I was like "I speak japanese" (I dont) and just started fucking with him trying to convince him I'm fluent in Japanese somehow.

2 notes · View notes

heyktula · 4 years

Text

Fic Breakdown for Closer, Chapter One (aka, the DVD Extras)

So, chapter one of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... went up today! And let me tell you what, I am hype because this is my very first longfic in the Terror fandom, and it's centered around a subject very near and dear to my heart—BDSM. It's a love letter to power exchange, the sheer joy of kink, conventions, and sex education.

Like other fic breakdowns I've done, this'll be in three parts—technical notes (like POV and stylistic choices), story notes (like characterization and kink info), and then, instead of the editing section I usually include, I'm going to talk about specific lines at the end.

I blame Edward for the line notes, tbh. I love him, but he's a himbo, and many things went unobserved in the course of this story.

(Okay, fine, it's not entirely his fault. Some of it is that he's just so steeped in kink that he doesn't think twice about a bunch of the stuff going on.)

Technical Considerations

Inspiration: So this fic is a love letter to kink, and kink education, and conventions, which in my experience can be life-changing opportunities to meet people with similar interests, and also to be able to do some exploration of your own and figure out what makes you tick. I'm pretty sure there's an AU version of me that makes their living off kink education and the convention circuit, but (un)fortunately, in this particular universe, I am a fic writer (and, occasionally, a paid one as well).

Closer is also a love letter to rough physical play. I remember sitting in my very first workshop on the topic, and just being wide-eyed that a) this is a thing, b) it looks fun. (It is, actually, fun.) There's a ton of reasons I love it—and hopefully, after Closer concludes, you'll be able to see some of the reasons why—but I also love that physical play doesn't have any financial barriers to entry. (The irony of Edward "rich boy" Little being heavily into it has not escaped me.)

Timeline: Hilariously, I actually started this verse for a Fitzier fic—it takes place six months from Closer, at the winter version of the conference—but while I was working my way through the Fitzier setup, I was like 'fuck it, I should write a quick one-off joplittle to establish the verse', and lo and behold, my "quick one-off" turned out to be sixty k, and it runs parallel to a Tozer/Irving that I have yet to write, but which is visible in Closer if you squint. So, uh, oops.

So this story fits into a very specific space in the timeline—that is, it's prior to Fitzjames and Crozier having met, but it's after the (second) Cracroft/Crozier breakup. (If you were wondering if that's why Francis isn't running his own damn booth, yes, that's why. He's very likely depression drinking in London at this very moment.)

Setting: I wanted to stay true to the spirit of the whole, you know, boatload of white men going to Canada and being confused, but I wanted them to go for better reasons. It's so rare that we get shows set in Canada, you know? And I feel very passionately about our winters here, in that I complain about them while they're happening, but I do also kind of enjoy the challenge, in a really fucked-up sort of a way. So I set the fic in Canada too, and then, because I was explicitly setting it here, I also got to lean into a bunch of Canadian stereotypes (like Goodsir living his best life in plaid and denim and the inevitable Tim Horton's jokes) and I actually had a lot of fun doing it, so I guess that was something I learned about myself.

Story Considerations:

Primary Kinks: So most people involved in BDSM have a "thing"—you know, the thing that they care about more than they care about any other things. And one of the most fun things for me about creating an AU like this is going through the characters and figuring out what everybody's niche is. Like, it makes sense to me that Hickey would be that edgeplay asshole that's in the kink scene specifically so he can fuck with people. Tozer having a military fetish (and also being a bit of a kink snob) totally fits with his whole "now what the bloody hell do people think that means?" speech.

If you've ever been to a fetish convention, you've seen guys like Blanky, who have been in the scene forever, and made their name handcrafting BDSM gear. They're easy to talk to, and will totally tell you about that time they ran an entire scene using only items found in their kitchen. You've seen women like Sophia Cracroft, who have a cluster of people surrounding her at all times, and who is never short of someone who will bring her tea if it looks like she's thirsty. And you've also seen guys like Ross, who are reasonably famous in their areas of expertise—the kind of guy that you see across the hall, and you're like "shit, is that James Clark Ross?" (And it is! Holy shit!)

Canadian Kink: So! I live in the prairies, and it's as conservative as hell out here. That means there's some specifics to kink culture that I'm not sure translate to other parts of Canada—and they definitely don't translate back to England. For example, every public event I've ever been to (by which I mean every event that wasn't being held in someone's house) has mandated that penetration cannot occur during the event. No toys in orifices, no bits in other bits, no mucous membranes touching, no oral, no fingering, no handjobs, no intercourse, all that kind of stuff. I'm not convinced that you couldn't have sex in a dungeon in, say, Vancouver, or Toronto, or any of the other bigger centers—but that hasn't been my experience in the prairies, and I kept those restrictions for plot purposes in Closer. (Sorry, Jopson. I promise I still love you.)

Canadian weapons laws being what they are also means that some of the gear that's totally okay in other places (like butterfly knives) is totally illegal in Canada (sorry, Tozer. No apologies for you, Hickey.). The sap gloves that Edward is mourning are, unfortunately, one of the items that get lost in the shuffle. Sap gloves are pretty neat—they're leather gloves which are weighted with lead on the knuckles/backs of the hands. They make your punches harder, but they also protect your hands—and, for somebody like Edward, who does a lot of punching when he plays, that protection is definitely beneficial. Plus, they're a bit of a signalling thing—having a set of sap gloves hanging off your belt makes it very clear what kind of things you're into, and I think Edward is a bit bereft not having that this weekend, because he's not used to having to make those introductions cold.

Edgeplay: There's sort of a, er. Spectrum of what is and isn't considered to be "acceptable" kink, even within the kink community. Some kinds of kink are seen as more publicly acceptable, and some kinds are relegated back to the fringes and the dark corners. In the context of Closer, that means Tozer, Hickey, and Little are our resident edgeplayers. This isn't a judgement on the type of play they do (well, it is a judgement on Hickey, but we don't have time to go into *gestures* all that), but it is a statement about the way that type of play is perceived. Sophia Cracroft can, with very little finessing, put photographs of her in rope suspension onto her various social media accounts, and as long as she's clothed, it's perfectly acceptable content to just have out there, and people are going to call it artistic and Instagram-worthy. Tozer, on the other hand, ain't getting any recordings of interrogation scenes he's run posted anywhere except to Pornhub. (The less we say about Hickey's knife-play, the better.)

Similarly, because the rough physical play that Edward does looks fairly intense from the outside (and is pretty intense from the inside), he gets to live in the not-that-publicly-acceptable area of kink. The area of kink where they usually put the crash mats at the far end of the dungeon, because that way, if you don't want to watch two people whaling on each other with their fists, you don't need to see it. This "stigma" is important in Edward's conception of himself, because on one hand, we see in his conversation with Goodsir that Edward absolutely knows his shit and, hero-worship of Crozier aside, has the knowledge base to be a fantastic educator in his own right—but we also see the subtle kinkshaming coming from both Hickey and Tozer about where Edward's place is in all this. That is to say—Edward's place is with them, in the dark shadowy spots, and not in the "socially acceptable" circles that Crozier's circle of people (Jopson included) are perceived to be running in. (There's a sense, coming from Tozer, that there's no point in Edward pursuing getting onto the org committee for the conference itself, because they won't want someone like Edward there—but, again, that's some pretty insidious kinkshaming coming from Tozer, and we could all just let that go and be better for it. Goodsir clearly doesn't feel like Edward's presence would be a detriment.)

So, yeah. I'll excuse Tozer's kinkshaming bullshit temporarily, as he needs to sort himself out. I don't think he's trying to drag Edward down so much as he just thinks Edward's being a bit delusional, and wants to save him the disappointment when Jopson invariably rejects him for being way too kinky and intense. (If Edward is moping around all weekend, he'll be in the hotel room, and how's Tozer supposed to get his dick sucked by random hookups then? "Yeah, come on back to mine, don't mind my roommate, he's a moody bastard and won't participate even if we ask." Not winning any prizes there, lads.)

I won't excuse Hickey's kinkshaming; he's definitely trying to make Edward feel like shit on purpose. I could speculate as to the reasons, but they're probably gross. (I mean, I know the reasons. Hickey's gonna Hickey.)

(There's a whole entire essay I could write about incorrect assumptions that literally everyone is making about the type of play Thomas Jopson must be into, based on his nice hair and nice eyes and nice smile, but I'll just let Jopson handle those corrections on his own, as he's very capable of doing so.)

Concerning the Chapter Title: If you were gonna take a risk, Neddo, the social was the time to do it—and you done fucked that up, sweetheart.

Tomorrow is another day. Give it another shot then, yeah?

Line Notes:

Edward looks across the hall again, cringes. “No, fuck, that’s—no, I think that’s Sophia Cracroft, Sol, I’m not—Christ. Sophia Cracroft, Jesus.”

I will never not find this introduction to Edward Little fucking hilarious, because he comes off as so competent from Jopson's POV when he's arguing with Hickey in the parking lot, and yet the moment we see Edward in his own POV, he's just a mess. I love him very much, but he's a mess. This was one of the deciding factors in the dual POV as well—I knew going in that the brunt of the story was going to be from Edward's POV, but weaving in those occasional Jopson bits lets us see how Edward looks from the other side.

(Also, Tozer three hundred percent knows exactly who Sophia Cracroft is, because he demonstrates that, like, two sentences later, meaning that he’s literally just winding Edward up here, and it goes right over Edward’s head. God.)

It’s the older guy across the hall that’s laughing his ass off, but the cutie is standing right next to him, looking down at his phone, his ears charmingly pink.

As a reminder, Edward is wearing a white tank, and just stretched his arms out behind his back. The nipple piercings are very obvious, Jopson was three hundred percent staring, and Blanky definitely caught him and is laughing his ass off about it.

“…I know what this is about,” Tozer says, tying an orange bandana around his left bicep.

The orange bandana is a hanky code thing—which, yes, it's dated, and it's not really in use anymore, but Tozer seems like the kind of guy that would tattoo his kinks on his forehead just so everybody could see them if they would all fit. Failing to find any way to gracefully do that, we instead have the orange hanky ("anything goes") on the left arm ("top").

(Older guy, thankfully, is wearing a ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. Cutie isn’t. So there’s no obvious problems there.)

Jopson not wearing a ring indicates literally nothing about whether or not he's available, but I guess whatever makes Edward feel better about himself is fine. He's right with his assumption about Jopson, in this case, but it's literally nothing more than a wild guess, and the mental hoops he's jumping through only exist to make him feel better about himself.

(Esther usually attends these events with Blanky—but somebody needed to hold down the fort in London this time, and so she's in London at present. It's for the best, she can check on Francis every so often.)

[Hickey] sticks his hand in the pocket of his latex cargo shorts...

I won't take criticism on this fashion statement, constructive or otherwise.

So, that's it for this week! Chapter two, Aware, goes up next Friday! See you then! And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat!

#the terror #the terror fic #my fic #fic: closer #fic breakdown #fic: the terror kink au

10 notes · View notes

k-llama-llama · 6 years

Text

BTS Love Yourself Tour: Hamilton Day 2 - My Experience

I’ve been to a few concerts in my time, but oh my gosh this was honestly one of the best experiences of my life.

We planned to leave around 8am (for a 2-2 1/2 hr drive). We had assigned seating, and neither me or my sister (the person I was going with) were super concerned about merch.

Either way, I somehow made myself so nervous on the drive there that I threw up in a Tim Horton’s parking lot. But I was fine after that...so yay!

We got there, and initially couldn’t tell what line was what. We walked about three minutes down a road following a line, before I finally asked someone what line she was in. Turns out that that was the GA line. The next one we found ended up being the soundcheck line, but eventually we found the end of the merch line. We got in the line at about 10:30, and it was super organized. There wasn’t any pushing or shoving, which was amazing. It was about a 2 hour wait from the moment we got in line to the moment where we got our purchases and left.

At that point, all of the hoodies and shirts had sold, as well as the group picket at the premium photos of Jungkook and Jin. Which was fine, because honestly we weren’t picky and were just going to buy whatever we could.

Kay so this was like my final haul Initially (like through the merch line) I just bought the Jimin picket, a V picket (for my sister, not pictured) and two sets of the photocards. All of that came to $70 CAD. My sister also got a thing of photocards...and a V premium photo. I posted a pic of that on twitter if you want to see it.

I was totally not planning on getting an Army Bomb. They were $75, and it just didn’t seem worth it to me. Well, my dad went to the bathroom, my mom decided that she thought it was worth it, and then we bought two Army Bombs. The strap on mine was initially broken, but we went back to the express booth and they were super great and got us a new one. Those things are freaking cool. I’ve been playing with the lights non-stop.

So...we enter the venue at about 3:30 (the show starts at six.) We buy candy, which we never ate, and then had some pizza. Our seats (section 221 if anyone cares) were amazing. We could see the whole stage and there was nothing blocking our view. Plus, we were at the end of the row next to the stairs, so no one was blocking up or walking past us.

The show begins...I’ve included the video because I adore it...but you don’t have to watch it if you don’t want it spoiled for you.

It was amazing.

I filmed a lot but honestly I don’t want to post a crap ton of videos and spoil stuff for you guys.

Just know that I cried. A lot. They sounded amazing and I don’t have a single criticism.

The way they all say ‘Canada’ is so cute. Nam Joon was saying that they were so surprised by the Canadian crowds energy that they had to figure out how to match it. Suga said that he had no choice but to come back next year, and Jin said that he was going to tell his parents about Canada😂

Honestly, it was great. Anpanman was a favourite (because Jungkook climbed on V’s back), but Epiphany and Serendipity we’re also phenomenal.

My favourite song is Answer: Love Myself, which is what they ended the show with and I cried.

They took a while to leave the stage, and bowed with their dancers and everything. It was amazing.

(BTW we had the set list that includes Baepsae and Dope)

I know I probably sound crazy, but if you guys ever have a chance to go then you should. It was beautiful and amazing and I loved every second of it.

If you have any questions...shoot em my way and I’ll try my best to answer them! And I’ve added a bunch more pictures down below because I want you all to fangirl with me!

#bts #bts imagines #bts tour #love yourself tour #bts love yourself tear #bts love yourself #love yourself #bts world tour #bts in canada #bts in hamilton #epiphany #bts pics #bts aesthetic

34 notes · View notes

parkerrogersgirl · 6 years

Text

Secretly Soulmates- Part 1

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 985

Warnings: fluff

Summary: She meets a guy on a dating site, but little does she know why she feels so connected to him

A/N: This is for my buddy @sonofadeanwinchester

Today was the day. You were sitting in your favorite booth in Tim Horton’s, waiting for your date to show up. You’d been talking to a guy named Sebastian on Plenty of Fish for a few weeks, and sparks had flown immediately. He looked like he was sculpted by a Greek god, and you couldn’t fathom why he would possibly be interested in you. You didn’t think you were anything special, but Sebastian thought you were perfect. He’d called you sweetheart the first day you’d matched with him, and he’d immediately switched to “darling” the next day. After about two weeks or so, you’d finally gotten up the courage to agree to meet him in person. You suggested your favorite coffee shop, knowing that a public location was your safest bet. Especially in the early evening when it was at its busiest time, since most people were just getting off work.

You ordered an iced coffee while you waited, scratching at the beauty mark on your chest. Well, it was sort of a birthmark. It was sort of shaped like an S, and it had just started gradually appearing over the last year or so. You had no idea where it had come from, but it didn’t hurt, it just occasionally itched. So you’d made the decision to not bother going to the doctor, because you were sure that it wasn’t anything that could kill you.

Lost in your thoughts, you jump when you hear a deep sound of a throat being cleared. You look up and are mesmerized by your date’s bright blue eyes. Sure, you’d seen pictures, but it was entirely different seeing him in person.

Your birthmark was sending sharp pains to your heart now, and you did you best to smile through them.

“Hey, (Y/N)? You okay? Can I sit?” He asks, concern hiding in his voice.

“Yeah, absolutely, have a seat. I ordered you a coffee,” you say, sliding it across the table for him.

“Wow, thank you. So, I have to get something off my chest,” he says as he takes a gulp of his coffee.

Uh-oh, you think as your brain goes into panic mode.

“I was really nervous about meeting you in person. Like, full on anxiety attacks. But if I’m being honest, I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but I really, really want to be with you. I don’t know what it is. Ever since we started talking, I can’t imagine my life without you. I even deleted the dating apps I was on once we exchanged numbers, because I didn’t want to do that anymore. I want to spend forever with you.”

You smile, taking his hand, “Sebastian, I feel the exact same way. The day we started talking, I just felt… something. I don’t know how to describe it. It was like you were the only person in my life that mattered,” you say as you stare into each others’ eyes, only breaking contact when he brushes a strand of hair out of your face. “And I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t imagine my future without you. I want us to be together. Officially.”

Sebastian leans forward, gently pressing your lips to his. The second they touch, it’s like your entire body is on fire. You pull away slowly, your eyes wide.

“That was…”

“Intense,” he finishes, his eyes somehow darker than before.

“I know this is sudden, but do you want to spend the night? We don’t even have to do anything, but I’ve been dreaming about actually sleeping in the same bed with you for weeks.”

“I would love to,” he says, standing up before taking your hand to help you.

---------

You drive to your townhouse and he follows behind you in his car. You pull up into the garage, and he pulls in next to you. You shut your garage door and head inside with Sebastian, immediately being greeted by your Australian Shepherd, Irwin. He was only a few months old, but he liked to think he was tough.

“Sebastian, this is Irwin.”

He grins, getting on his knees to play with the puppy. Your heart soars, while also feeling pain from the beauty mark. You shake it off and refill Irwin’s food and water bowls, heading upstairs to your bedroom. You feel the heavy footfalls of Sebastian behind you on the stairs, and you go to your closet to get pajamas.

“Um, I’m gonna change in the bathroom.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, shaking his head, “I’ll turn around. I promise I won’t peek.” You smirk at him, “I wouldn’t mind if you did,” you say as you turn away from each other.

You start to strip, letting the clothes from your date fall to the floor. You had showered immediately before leaving your apartment to go to the coffee shop, so you didn’t bother taking another shower less than an hour later.

You feel Sebastian’s eyes on you as you put on blue panties and a pair of shorts, followed by a turquoise camisole that was a little low-cut, but not too much. You throw your date clothes in the hamper, knowing it can’t hurt to wash them considering how much you’d been anxiously sweating while you’d waited at Tim Horton’s.

You turn around and notice Sebastian in just his boxers, raising your eyebrows.

“Is this okay? This is how I normally sleep but I can put on a shirt if it’d make you more comf-”

“Sebastian. It’s fine. Perfect, actually.”

You step closer to him, and your eyes fall to a mark on his chest in exactly the same place yours is. His eyes register the mark on your chest, and you recognize that his is shaped a bit like your first initial.

“I… I thought it was a myth…” You say in disbelief.

“(Y/N), we’re soulmates.”

Tag List (let me know if you’d like to be added!):

@thankyouforanonymity @gatorgal94 @supernaturaldean67 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @summer-winchester @princess76179 @srgntjbarnes @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @jcc04220 @lostess-souless @samanddeanmyguardianhunters @ilovethefandomwho @dancer2001 @a-tale-of-two-comics @p-parkerrr @yleryoseeph@magellan-88 @healojane @sarahp879 @mizz-kraziii @lostinspace33 @silver-starburst @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @guera31@destielinamoose @808shelbsters @demonkitkat @hoe4sebstan @izzy206-2001 @esther-maslow-90 @tinyfistwarrior @mrs-meghan-winchester @princess-evans-addict @moondustparker

#sebastian #seb #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fluff

74 notes · View notes

shawnssweatshirt · 6 years

Text

Hoodie | Blurb

a/n: I feel like this is so basic and there is a million stories JUST like this one but I wrote it anyways!!!

Word Count: 1749

Masterlist

Shawn Mendes was your best friend. But this was before he became the big name that he is now. You had met Shawn in middle school, but ended up going to separate high schools. Even at different high schools, you two had remained inseparable. You were there when he first decided that he wanted to become a musician. When he taught himself how to play guitar and posted his first vine. When he got the call from his now manager, when he got signed to Island Records, and released his first album. You were even around when he began to write his second album.

You weren’t around much longer though. You began to hear less and less from him as he began to get busier and since he was rarely at home. There was a point when you began to feel as if there was no use in trying to reach out to Shawn anymore. He stopped calling every night, didn’t return phone calls or texts, and you never knew when he was even coming home.

You would have never guessed that you would become so distant from your best friend. In fact, he was more than just your best friend. There was an obvious tension and attraction between the two of you, and everyone would always tell say that the two of you would one day end up together. He used to be your safe haven and the voice of reason, but the only time you heard his voice now was when one of his songs came on through the radio of your car. You’d figured that he realized that he could do better than you now.

It was a chilly fall morning in your hometown of Pickering, when your friend had begged you to go get Tim Horton’s breakfast with her. Since it was relatively early, and you would have much rather preferred to stay in the warm comfort of your bed, you only threw on leggings and the first sweatshirt that you could find. The sweatshirt that you just so happened to grab was Shawn’s old iHeart Radio hoodie that you had borrowed from him forever ago and never got the chance to return.

You and your friend had ordered your breakfast and grabbed a seat in a booth. You had just taken your first bite of your breakfast sandwich when you saw your friends jaw drop.

“What?” you question as you turn to look in the direction that she was facing. Your eyes right away found a very familiar face, but a face you definitely weren’t expecting. His height and gorgeous features made him almost impossible to look past. Shawn was standing in line, alongside his friend, Brian. Turning back towards the table, you mumble shit under your breath.

“Didn’t know he was back in town.” your friend says as you let out a big breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding. You begin just picking at your food, not feeling very hungry anymore. Instead you had a knot the size of a bowling ball in your stomach, and you just wanted to go home.

Brian’s voice and Shawn’s unforgettable laugh was nearing the booth you were sitting at. Your friend smiles and waves at the boys, as they must have seen her by now. Because of you, she was friends with Brian and Shawn too. But when your friendship with Shawn faded, the whole group sort of split apart. You were still on good terms with Brian and the other guys, though, and would chat if you ran in to them at parties or somewhere.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Brian stopped and stood right at the end of the table with Shawn right behind him. You sank into the booth, hoping that somehow Shawn won’t notice you, but you knew your attempt was useless.

Your friend answers saying that it’s been going good, then everyone turns to look at you waiting for your answer. You try looking strictly at Brian when you give your answer, but you can see Shawn watching you from the corner of your eye making you feel nervous and slightly uncomfortable. You quietly mumble out the word “good,” then avert your gaze back to the tray of food in front of you.

Luckily, your friend is way less awkward and knew how to save the conversation. “So Shawn, when did you get home?”

“Yesterday. Obviously the first l had to do after seeing my family is get a Tim’s hash brown,” he chuckled. You were aware of Shawn’s obsession with the hash browns, going through the drive-thru and going on long car rides blasting music used to be one of your favorite past times. You and Shawn even had a tradition of going here for breakfast after a night out, hoping that the greasy hash browns would diminish the hangovers.

After an awkward goodbye, the boys took a seat a couple of tables away. You continued to pick at your food and tried to take a couple more bites. Your friend had left the table to go to the bathroom, but her spot didn’t stay empty for long.

“Is that my hoodie?” Shawn asks as he slides into the empty seat.

You look down at the sweatshirt you are wearing. You had completely forgot that this was the sweatshirt you had thrown on. “Oh yeah, sorry. l can wash it and give it back to you.”

“That would be great. But only so then we have a reason to see each other again,” Shawn says with a smirk on his face. You look back at him, with a look of confusion and almost even look of disgust on your face. Why does he all of a sudden now want to see you?

“I’ll drop it off tonight,” you say to him as you stand up from the booth. Your friend was coming out of the bathroom anyways, so you start making your way towards the exit and you don’t look back.

Once the hoodie was washed and dried, you hopped into your car and began the familiar route to Shawn’s parents’ house. Pulling into the driveway, you saw Shawn’s jeep in the driveway. The jeep that you’d helped him pick out at the dealership. Seeing it reminded you of all the summer days that you’d spent driving around with the top off blasting your favorite songs.

You realized that you didn’t even have Shawn’s phone number anymore to let him know that you were here, so instead you took a deep breath and walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. A couple of seconds later, Karen opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw you standing there.

“y/n! It’s so nice to see you! Come in!” She says giving you a hug before opening the door wider and motioning for you to come in.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t need to come in, could you just give this to Shawn please?” You reply, holding out the black hoodie.

“Don’t be silly, come in and give it to him yourself. He’s upstairs. And stop by Aaliyah’s room and say hi to her, too. She’d be happy to see you.” You agreed, but only because you knew better than to argue with Karen.

From the bottom of the stairs you could hear the beautiful sound of an acoustic guitar. You walked up the stairs and stopped in front of Aaliyah’s bedroom and knocked on the door. She yells come in, so you open the door. She was sitting on her bed with her laptop, and when she noticed it was you, the expression on her face was almost identical to Karen’s when she opened the front door.

“What’re you doing here!” She said as she got up and threw her arms around you in a tight squeeze.

“I’m dropping off Shawn’s hoodie.” You say squeezing her back.

“y/n, I missed you so much,” she says sitting back on the bed. This sort of made you feel horrible. Sort of like you dropped her when Shawn dropped you, and you knew how terrible it felt.

“I’m always around, Aaliyah, I come home from school almost every weekend. Let’s get lunch and see a movie or something next weekend, okay?”

She agreed, and you said goodbye shutting the door behind you. You followed the noise of the guitar to the other room. You knocked on the door, but there was no response. So, you decided to just walk in. Shawn was sitting on a chair in front of a computer. There was the guitar on his lap and headphones covering his ears.

“Hey,” he said pulling off his headphones and setting the guitar in its stand before standing up to walk towards you.

“Here,” you said holding out the sweatshirt.

He looks down at it for a couple of seconds before saying, “I really didn’t need it back. It probably doesn’t even fit me anymore.”

“Okay, well I don’t want it. Give it to some other girl.” You replied throwing it on a nearby chair, then turning to walk away.

“Wait, y/n,” Shawn says grabbing your arm to stop you. Squinting your eyes at him, you ask what he wants, and he replies, “I don’t know … I just missed you.”

“Missed me? What do you mean that you missed me? You wouldn’t have to miss me if you didn’t just drop me like I was nothing!” You couldn’t help but go off on him, it was all the anger that you had pent up breaking loose.

“I couldn’t be there for you,” Shawn says looking down at the ground completely avoiding eye contact now.

“You can’t be there for someone you ignore,” I say back, not understanding how that is his excuse.

“Even if I texted and called you, I couldn’t actually be there for you when you needed me. You deserve someone who can be there for you anytime of the day.”

“I didn’t want anyone else, Shawn. I wanted you.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you even knew you were saying it. And before you could even register what was happening next, you felt Shawn’s soft lips meeting yours and his hand cradled your face. You were surprised, but you immediately gave in to and kissed him back.

He pulled away, but his hand was still holding onto your cheek and leaving his face only inches from yours. “Give me one more chance.”

@lepau123 wrote a part 2 for this and it’s right HERE!

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot

322 notes · View notes

ajbrownstoryteller · 5 years

Text

If you missed Part 1, you can read it HERE.

Two things happened in my little acre of the writing world this past year. In March I sat in on my first panel. It was about Indie authors and the struggles of being one. I can honestly say it was interesting and informative. I made a few friends who I have stayed in contact with. There is a video somewhere out there of it.

In September, I stood in front of a crowd of people as the guest speaker for Chris Maw’s Words and Wine event. I was nervous for all of fifteen seconds. In the video you can see I flub over a couple of my words, but once I got my bearing and the train began to roll forward, I feel I entertained the group (even getting a few laughs here and there). I took questions and gave answers. I had a blast. I want to do it again. I want to speak in front of people again. That was as thrilling to me as a roller coaster ride or bungee jumping or sky diving might be for others. You can see the video below.

youtube

So, if you want a Southern Gothic, horror story telling, rebel with somewhat of a cause to speak at an event, drop me a line at [email protected].

Did I really just plug that? I guess I did.

***

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This year Cate and I made several long road trips—more than we have any other time in our marriage. Actually, we made more instate and out of state road trips than we ever had in our over twenty years of marriage.

We took the kids to St. Augustine, Florida at the beginning of April. I’m not entirely sure the kids had a great time, but Cate and I did. It was our first trip to Florida together and the first time in a while that we got a hotel. Cate and I even rode an outdoor carousel, though the kids didn’t get on it. I think they were embarrassed by our actions.

In August we went to Virginia for Scares That Care. We left on a Thursday and arrived back home the following Monday. It was a blast and a half, one of the single best weekends of my life. More on that later.

At the end of October, we made a trip to Bradford, Pennsylvania, to see our two friends, Tara and Larissa. Oh my goodness, the donuts at The Cider Mill were amazing, as they were at the Amish house we visited. In Pennsylvania they have this place called Tim Horton’s. I hear this is a Canadian alternative to Starbucks. And I will say they are far better than Starbucks … and cheaper. We need one down here in South Carolina. Do you hear that Tim Horton’s? Come down south. I’ll love you forever.

Florida was great fun with the kids. Pennsylvania was great fun with two terrific people. Virginia … Virginia was an entirely different ball game.

Let me tell you about Williamsburg, Virginia and Scares That Care. This trip would not have been possible without Lisa Vasquez and Stitched Smile Publications. I’m not going to go into the why of it, but Lisa is a great and generous individual. The planning for this trip began before the calendar turned to 2018. When August rolled around, Cate and I left our little home in South Carolina and drove the seven hours to Williamsburg, stopping only to eat lunch and gas up the car.

We arrived at this beautiful gated complex and were greeted in the parking lot of the place we would spend the next four days and nights by Larissa and Tara. For the next three hours we sat in the living room talking. During those three hours, the four of us became instant friends. It turned out we had a lot in common including where our relationships were concerned. The similarities were eerie.

Night would come and the rest of the group hadn’t arrived yet, and wouldn’t until the next morning. We crashed and the next morning the four of us greeted Lisa, Donelle, Chris and Veronica to the house. Later in the day one of the most upbeat and enjoyable to be around people arrived: James.

That afternoon we made our way to the Doubletree by Hilton Hotel to where the Scares That Care convention was held. The Stitched Smile Publications booth was right next to the All Things Zombie booth, ran by Jeffrey Clare, which was a treat in and of itself. Friday evening, all day Saturday and Sunday morning to early afternoon, we took turns manning the booth, selling books, meeting people and having an all around great time.

Saturday evening, after the convention ended for the day, we were treated to the wedding of Jeffrey Clare and Shannon Walters. It wasn’t just any wedding, though. It was a zombie themed wedding. It was awesome.

That Saturday night we all sat around the table and many of us bared our souls. We learned a lot about each other. We laughed. We laughed so hard some of us cried. And a bond was created that feels as strong as any from any other group I’ve been associated with. It was a magical weekend, one of the best.

***

Let’s talk books for a minute here. My collection, Voices, came out on Friday, April 13th. It is dark, disturbing and awesome. The book contains 15 short stories that deal with the darker and very real subjects of life, such as cutting, neglect, sexual assault, prison, murder, loneliness, love gone awry, demons, bullying and betrayal. It’s not a book for the squeamish.

Bibliophilia Templum had this to say about Voices: “These stories darkly and boldly illustrate the harsh realities of life when there are no safe places, not even in your own head.”

Scream Horror Magazine reviewed Voices and said:

“Few things are as terrifying or powerful as the human mind. It’s where our darkest secrets, phobias and most troubling thoughts reside, which could spell harm to ourselves or others if they’re allowed to fester for too long, unattended. While the mind motivates us to achieve our goals and form our greatest ideas, it’s also capable of inspiring dark deeds and taking advantage of our paranoias and fears when we’re at our most vulnerable. Every horrible atrocity in human history started with a sister thought or an impulse stemming from a damaged psyche after all. As such, the complexities of the mind has always lent itself perfectly to horror tales.

A.J. Brown’s latest. Voices, is a collection of short stories rooted in psychological torment and the horrors that can unfold as a result. Each story is rooted in the darkest elements of humanity that, when broken down, don’t seem too far fetched at all. These tales are inspired by domestic, sexual and mental abuse, as well as neglect, bullying, death, sorrow and the harm the can cause. It’s not a light collection by any means, but it’s certainly effective and deserves your attention if you’re willing to confront horror rooted in reality.

The first story, “In the Shadows They Hide” taps into a socially awkward teenager’s fear of shadows, coupled with the anxieties that arise from being bullied and unable to fit in with your peer group.

“The Scarring”, meanwhile, is concerned with child abuse and the harrowing effects which follows in its wake. “A Memory Best Left Alone” is about a woman who self-harms … you get the idea of the type of subject matter Brown is fascinated with. This isn’t poolside reading.

That said, the author handles each story with sensitivity and respect to difficult topics and themes while simultaneously mining the real horror humanity experiences to craft bold and devastating scare fare. In lesser hands, this anthology could be exploitative or schlocky, but Brown’s exploration is nuanced and all the better for it. By no means will this book be for everyone, but those who dare open its pages may find it rewarding.”

youtube

But there is more to Voices than just the book. Over the last eight months, the characters of the stories have been interviewed by Lisa Lee Tone of Bibliophilia Templum. Those interviews can be seen by following the links below. Also, when the series of interviews are complete, they will be compiled into a companion book for Voices. That book will also have an interview with Lisa Lee Tone and a couple of extra things that will only appear in that book.

(To read the interviews to date, click on the name of the character.)

Part 1: Spencer from In the Shadows They Hide

Part 2: Mr. Worrywort from Chet and Kay’s Not So Marvelous Adventure

Part 3: Lena and Nothing from The Scarring

Part 4: Claire from Claire, The Movie

Part 5: Jeddy from Black Storms

Part 6: B from Anymore

Part 7: Dave from Crisp Sounds

Part 8: Dane from Numbers

Part 9: The Angel from To Bleed

Part 10: Brian from Not Like You

Part 11: Lewis from The Sad Woes of the Trash Man

A couple of other books were put out, as well. The first of these is titled, ZOMBIE, and yes, it is a collection of stories involving the rotting corpses we have all come to love or loathe. There is a touch of humor in this book, and a collaboration with my good friend, Justin Dunne, titled, Bonobo.

The second of these books is titled, Beautiful Minds, a collection of 61 short stories that encompasses the four years The Brown Bag Stories were in existence. What were The Brown Bag Stories, you ask? Good question.

The Brown Bag Stories was a monthly booklet Cate and I put out, starting in May of 2014. Each booklet had a short story in it (yes, a different story in every one), a dedication, a cover, the letter to you, my Faithful Readers, and advertisements for my other books. In the four years TBBS existed, we put out 64 total stories. As I stated, 61 of those appear in Beautiful Minds, with the only ones not in the massive book being two stories that are also in Voices and one story I hope to publish with a pro paying magazine in 2019.

I admit a simple truth here: I was saddened to bring The Brown Bag Stories to an end, but to be completely honest, it wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do. I wanted it to generate potential readers for my books. It might have generated a handful of readers, and I am grateful for that, but at the end of the day, all the work and costs going into putting them out just wasn’t generating sells for my books. I hate putting it that way, but that is the truth.

There is one more book that I put out, but not to the general public. It was a Christmas present for my sister-in-law and it’s titled, Closing the Wound. It is based on the true events of the death of a sixteen-year-old young man on Halloween night of 1995. Amazon and I went ten rounds in our arguments over their service with the delivery of this book, but it finally showed up in the nick of time. Seeing the expression on my sister-in-law’s face made all the effort well worth it.

To Be Continued …

Reflections On the Year Gone By Part 2 If you missed Part 1, you can read it HERE. Two things happened in my little acre of the writing world this past year.

#2018 #Beautiful Minds #Books #Friends #Interviews #Pennsylvania #Road Trips #Scares That Care #Short Story Collection #St. Augustine #Stitched Smile Publications #Voices #Year in Review #Zombie

0 notes