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purplehoodiesandclementines · 2 years

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A message from Simon 💜

Ok so like many of you, I would have loved for Simon to make an actual (i.e. non-dream version, more-than-voice) appearance in the teaser. Although obviously I respect all the creators' decisions and know this was only the first 4 minutes... (what can I say, I just miss him ok?)

But y'all, listen! I found a thing. Since we can rely on the YR creators to continue imbuing even the most minute details with meaning, I just realized that the tiny snippet we get of Simon singing already gives us a pretty good insight into his current head(heart?)space! And a rather heartbreaking one, I should say... 💔

So some geniuses over on Twitter already figured out that the song Simon sings at the end of the teaser is Aldrig igen (må sådär) by Cherrie ft. Stormzy.

youtube

For reference, the section we hear Simon sing in the teaser starts around 2:00 min.

We should probably get a mother tongue speaker to give us a complete + proper translation of the lyrics - but until we do, check this out (this has only gone through google translate, so bear with me!):

(Feel Like This) Never Again

[You] say you'll change but I hardly believe it

...

We thought [it was] for real but that feeling went away

...

You and your lies, you go hand in hand

Deserve much better, took me a while to realize

[now these are the lines we actually hear Simon sing:]

Lying in bed, on a Saturday

In front of the tv, but what am I doing?

My feelings, they are fragile

The whole world will hear

It was a long time ago, but I've learned to

be alone, I'm the strongest

It will never happen again

Because I don't want to feel like that

I don't want to feel like that

Who wants to feel like that

I don't want to feel like that

Tell me, who wants to feel like that?

Who wants to feel like that

I don't want to feel like that

It will never happen again

it will never happen again

Thought we were real, why did it feel fake? <- 😭

...

First you want to leave me, now you want to stay

Deserve much better, took me time to understand

I don't want to know if you feel guilty

It's the last thing I want to hear

Doesn't matter what you say now

You try, but we're over

Save your words

For someone else who wants to hear

...

Because I don't want to feel like that

I don't want to feel like that

...

It will never happen again

it will never happen again

...

So. There's that.

This is the song Simon has been singing over Christmas break... 🥺

And I gotta say, as much as it breaks my heart, I completely get where Simon is coming from and part of me is thinking "good for him". I just hope (and kind of know), as much as this is where he's at right now at the start of S2, this is not where he'll stay... Hell, it looks like things are gonna change in ways neither he nor we can even anticipate, and I'm SO here for it. 🔥💪

Also, can we just agree, the degree to which those lyrics apply to Simon's experience with Wille (his perspective at least) is ridiculous, right??!

SO looking forward to your thoughts on this!

#Ok I'll go back into my corner and cry for a bit now thanks bye #simon singing #Simon's song in the s2 teaser #Cherrie #Cherrie - Aldrig igen #yr s2 spoilers #wilmon endgame #Young royals s2 teaser #simon eriksson #omar rudberg #young royals #yrs2 #young royals analysis #wilmon #young royals netflix #simon x wilhelm

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mysticdreamcafe · 1 month

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Tarot, Oracle, Organized Religion

In my pinned post you'll see a link to the Mystic Tarot Cafe. I do a daily single card draw, unless I need to do a spread because I have a specific question, and will try to remember to do an Oracle spread once a week. Daily for those I feel is over kill. If interested check it out.

I had a post planned but it started to become to broad and religious. I know what I believe and honestly, I don't care what you believe. As long as you don't shove it in my face or hurt people.

To me religion is like nutritional intake, sexual preference, hobbies, etc. It doesn't affect me so I don't care. Gay? I don't care. The only thing I care about is if a lady asks me out and I say no they need to respect that. Just like if a man asked me out and was turned down. If you are vegan and we go to lunch. I won't say nasty things about your food if you don't mine. I'm scared of heights so if you want to jump out of a plane feel free. Just don't try to bully me into joining you.

Makes sense and pretty easy isn't it. What anyone else believes, wears, eats, or does is pretty much ok as long as it doesn't affect my life and wellbeing or those of others without their consent.

It took me years to understand why I felt the way I did and knew the things I did. I'd get a feeling about something and push it aside. Most times I should have listened.

I hid tarot cards and crystals from everyone but my family, and a friend that's a witch who helped me pick a deck and understand the cards, because of the backlash they can still bring. If someone is highly into their religion then I'm playing with Satan and demons or just crazy and in need of conversion.

It's been a year or two since I've opened myself to trusting my inner voice and using the cards when I'm uncertain or curious. What amazes me is how accurate they are. Even when I don't understand how a daily card I pulled blends into my life it becomes apparent on it's own throughout the day or I text my friend and ask for help.

It always seems to come together. I know the "if you look for something you'll find it" but around 2 years ago, a few months after I got my first deck we got a puppy. She was a beautiful Australian shepherd that drove my nervous system crazy because she wouldn't slow down or stop. Seriously, the 10 week old puppy wouldn't nap during the day unless I crated her. I should mention we aren't crate people but with her we were at the start.

Each day I did a spread asking "Should we take her back" or something along those lines. She had me so wrecked that I wanted to rehome her though she was a great and beautiful, overly energetic puppy. I've had working dogs and high strung dogs but she made my head swim.

Sometimes I did 2-3 spreads a day asking, in various ways, if she should stay with us. Each time I basically got a suck it up she's here to stay, you got what you asked for so shut up, etc. The cards told me in no uncertain terms she was staying. I tried to get the cards to say he should rehome her or take her back to the farm we got her from but they kept shutting the idea down.

I'll just say my daughter laughed her ass off, she adored Mika, with each read I did and told everyone she could that I couldn't get the cards to say what I wanted them to. She doesn't even believe in Tarot.

Mika was hit by a car shortly after she turned 1 yr old. It was heart breaking and devastated all of us. I was surprised how much I cried for that dog considering how hard I tried to move her on. But she was ours and we loved her, even me, for the energetic goofball she is.

The cards have always been honest with me even when I don't want to hear it. Sometimes, they don't say anything at all. At least it seems that way at first. That's why I do my draws and readings in the morning. I don't want to be influenced by what has happened. I want to see how the card plays out that day. Sometimes it can be surprising.

#tarot #tarot cards #intuition #religion #inner voice #honesty #outcomes #divination

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ncwhereman · 1 year

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hello, hi, good day, greetings. it’s me again, your favourite anonymous spammer 🎅 again i'm really sorry this is a late one.

ok so my favourite albums by any artists would have to be the ones which the songs i recommended are from! this commentary is unnecessary, but still:

are you experienced (the jimi hendrix experience). the quintessential late 60s psychedelic rock album! a lot of classics on here as well as less overplayed gems

led zeppelin 1. a great example of a concept album. every time i listen it’s like i’m hearing it all over again for the first time. i have this one on vinyl and it’s one of my most precious records :)

now this one wasn’t in my initial recommendations but i’m also gonna recommend the album deep purple in rock by deep purple :^) to me, it sounds like a musical marriage between zep and hendrix. how about you? apart from the beatles' albums, what are your top 3 albums atm?

records: sadly i don’t buy records as much as i'd like to but i’m working on growing my collection slowly atm 😭 your help record sounds rly cool, i like the more unusual ones more bc they have small histories behind them. how did a dutch vinyl end up in a german jacket, and then made its way to you - i always wonder who owned the record before me? where are they now? do they still love the same music? ok i’m rambling, but to answer ur question: my ideal collection would have all beatles studio albums, as well as the rolling stones albums (up until the end of the 70s, bc my music taste kinda ends there) bc they’re classics + i love every album. but beatles records are hard to find and expensive here :( i’d also like some coloured vinyl, which i don’t have, like red or blue or something funky. how about you - any goals for your collection?

thanks so much for the film recommendations! i have time off after my finals so i’ll be sure to watch them :D i’m more into comedies so i think i’ll start with the apartment and paper moon. and the hours and times too, i’ve heard a lot about it so if you recommend it i’ll give it a watch. every year i try and watch a few holiday films, but i always end up watching the same ones, mainly home alone 1/2, and it’s a wonderful life (this is one that my parents always make us watch). i’m definitely gonna watch white christmas this year too!

sorry i always write too much here :D and sorry to put you through the stress of choosing a fav beatle. but i’ve always vibed more w george and john too!

good luck on yr finals, and if they're finished, then congrats :D -srs

hi! sorry for late reply too, i have flu and the first days weren't nice 🤧 i'm getting better though!

thank you for recs, i'll def give them a listen!! i've been meaning to listen to more of these artists for such a long time and finally have a place to start now!

i can't mention my top 3 atm without beatles, sorry 😭 bc not so long ago i finally gave the new revolver mixes a listen and i'm starting to appreciate it much more as a whole body of work. i'm still very into john's walls&bridges and POB, and since i rewatched my fair lady yesterday i'm really digging the soundtrack.

yep, my collection is growing very slowly too! my main concern is how the record sounds bc i listen to them pretty often but usually i aim for the earliest pressings i can find. too bad it's practically impossible to find original beatles editions. i still remember seeing a uk mono copy of meet the beatles in a local shop, meaning it was the original press probably, and it wasn't even crazily expensive but i still didn't have enough money and eventually someone bought it before me. i'm still so salty about it lmao

and yes i love colored vinyl too! if only i could get my hands on those modern fancy pressings ugh. so far i only have two colored records, a red 1962-1966 and a blue abbey road. i kinda regretted getting AR since it's obviously a modern bootleg but it doesn't sound too bad (for a bootleg at least) and the shade is almost exactly like the blue 1967-1970 i wanted to get. it was another case of someone buying it before me 😭 tbh that shade was the deciding factor for me lmao

by the way, if you want something kinda similar to colored vinyl: some original uk copies of elton john albums from 1969 to 1975 are black but appear translucent red when held up to light! and there were a lot of them pressed so they shouldn't be too expensive or hard to find. it was a very cool discovery i accidentally made

i hope you'll enjoy the films, i love both of them! and as for th&t.... well like i said it's in no way perfect but definitely not bad! esp given the circumstances in which it was made. there are so many themes, dynamics and emotions they could explore deeper and further but i suppose they just did the best they could. so if you're interested in the relationship between john and brian i think you should give it a try for at least one point of view on the spanish holiday that in my opinion could very well be pretty close to reality.

oh i completely forgot about it's a wonderful life lmao. thanks for reminding me bc i'll def watch it for christmas, i love it too! and i enjoyed white christmas so much, i adore 50-60s musicals!

the stress of choosing a fav beatle hsksksks it's okay 😭😭 i'm afraid it might be the last anon ask before the big reveal but i'll ask anyway, what are your favorite john and george solo albums??

#srs22 #ask

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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socialistsooner420 · 3 years

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ok i gotta slow down

i accidentally overmedicated myself with my focalin. not too much, dont worry, im not even prescribed a proper amount for an adult (which is a whole other can of worms i'll get into) and i only took one extra. ive done way more uppers than this, ill be ok i just need to do a little ramble here so i can slow down and vent

i took an extra bc i panicked and just felt overwhelmed by the amount of chores n shit i needed to catch up on from not having meds the past two weeks and living in a literal garbage pile

my psych wont up my dosage because she thinks its illegal?? but like... im on the lowest dosage possible, twice a day, instant release. i've been on it for over a year, and she can absolutely up the dosage. i used to have extended release prescription (god i miss those so much but i couldnt afford $165 a month plus my other meds ugh) and just one was 2 times stronger than the current dosage of my instant releases. so?????? why the fuck

all yall ppl who say "be honest with yr psychs!!!!" hahahahahaahaahaha they lie to me why tf would i be honest to them? especially when in the times i have been "honest" its actively harmed my treatment

like, do yall not understand how hard it is to get medication when your doctor doesnt even believe in the specific illness affecting you??

ive literally been told to "pray the anxiety away". i left that doc after one appointment. but thats just a PRIME example of why being "honest" just dont work here

ive been misdiagnosed and mismedicated all while my doctors just wouldn't listen to what the fuck i was saying and that i was dealing with and wanted to just use the "textbook conditions". and agoraphobia isn't well researched, because, well..... thats pretty much our biggest fear. being observed. being open with strangers. so its not really a "textbook condition".

its a complex issue that is different in every agor because it's usually induced by individual trauma, and its not a "societal/behavioral" illness and therefore not really something to "fix" with just meds. meds absolutely help. but since its not a "behavioral" illness, its not "as urgent of an illness" and i need to focus on my "REAL PROBLEMS" of anxiety and depression

which?????? what the fuck does "behavioral" even MEAN???? agoraphobia absolutely is behavioral, i cant fucking leave my house by myself, and BARELY with trusted people since ive regressed so bad due to covid panic. it effects my daily life and my "real issues" of anxiety and depression are actually fucking SYMPTOMS OF AGORAPHOBIA.

i will give credit where credit is due, but doctors (esp psychs) are NOT magical gods of medical knowledge that people hold them to be. living with a nurse ive learned that doctors are actually pretty fucking dumb and that they're really just "management/public relations" in hospitals. ive had a lot of bad experiences with doctors. so no i do not just trust them and tell them everything, they've probed to me countless times that they're not listening anyway.

and the reason why i put quotes around "honest" is because im not lying to them, but

idk how y'all's psych appointments go, but mine are literally just this conversation

"hi! how are you doing today?"

eh. im surviving haha

"hahaha yeah we all are. any panic attacks?"

ohhhh yeah hahahaha. plenty.

"oh! okay well lets move on, how is your add?"

i cant really focus on anything for more than like an hour but... at least i get that hour?

"well ya gotta just take the time ya got to do what ya need! how about the depression?"

well, i can barely leave my bedroom, which is covered in garbage because i cant go outside to take them to the trash and thats pretty depressing

"hahaha awww, im sorry to hear that. well, im sending your prescriptions to the pharmacy, see ya next month!"

i dont even have an opportunity to be honest. its so fast.

i dont want to have to find a new doctor because ive literally had to fight tooth and nail to find someone who would prescribe me anything that can actually HELP me, aka my vallium, which is a hell of a lot more difficult to get than any other fucking benzo for some reason???? the only others ive been prescribed was xanx, kpins. xanx is nice but its too temporary. its for when you're having an anxiety attack, not for general anxiety like valium is. and kpins?? mannnnnn FUCK KLONOPIN THAT SHIT DID NOTHIN.

idk i guess rant over for now thanks for not reading this long dumb post where i cry about not being properly medicated and being actively neglected & abused by doctors who literally don't believe in agoraphobia & refuse to acknowledge its existence or the consequences it has on both my mental state and my physical state.

#ill.txt #mental health #ugh #agoraphobia

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quellines-stories · 7 years

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I've probably sent you five messages now and I'm being super annoying but I'm having valeyne withdraws

You’re not annoying at all don’t worry anon! Your messages are v sweet and mean a lot to me so thank you for taking the time to send them!

I’m sorry you’re having Valeyne withdrawals asdfgkh–

I haven’t finished the next chapter yet but here have some imagines if that helps lmfao 😃

[14 yr. old Wayne and 17 yr. old Jerome] 1) The Gotham origins era. Essentially the show era where Wayne and Jerome are just a pair of kiddos. To the GCPD, Wayne’s just a rich kid and Jerome’s a criminal that went into hiding. The unrequited era where Wayne has a thing for Jerome, but Jerome doesn’t return the notion due to how he’s about to be an adult, and Wayne’s just started high school.

2) Everyone including Jerome knows Wayne has a crush on Jerome and Wayne even admitted it at that, yet for the one time he admitted it the one hundred times he’s denied it. It’s become a game- a bet- to see who can get Wayne to admit it again first. Jerome isn’t fond of the game and tells the kids to bug off.

3) Jerome is a natural flirt. A jokester flirt. A flirt who accidentally says something flirty to Wayne that wasn’t meant to be flirty and results in Wayne either being awkward and avoiding him with a blush for a week or ballsy and smirking at him smugly for a week. There’s no in between and Wayne never comments on it– only provides expressions.

4) Wayne very rarely laughs, but when he does it’s generally thanks to Jerome. Jerome is rarely serious, but when he is it’s generally because of something involving Wayne. They balance each other out.

5) They both help each other’s impulse controls. Wayne eases Jerome’s urges to lunge at Gordon and Jerome eases Wayne’s urges to challenge five high school bullies to a fight. Wayne keeps Jerome’s ballsy behavior in check, Jerome keeps Wayne’s pride in check.

6) The only other friend they feel as comfortable as they feel with each other is Selina. Jerome views her as a little sister, Wayne views her as Crush Number Two.

7) Despite Jerome being careful to not be too touchy feely after finding out about Wayne’s attraction towards him, he still comforts Wayne with long hugs and rubs on the back whenever the boy has a nightmare about the alleyway, or when he’s freaking out about how Selina has been gone for way too long. Additionally, while Wayne respects Jerome’s boundaries, he does the same whenever Jerome is feeling upset, and while it occurs A LOT more rarely and A LOT less severely than Wayne’s panic attacks, they still occur every once in a while.

8) Despite being closer to one another than anyone else, they can pick up each other’s social cues, and know when to let the other have some time to themselves.

9) While Wayne’s bummed out Jerome doesn’t return his attraction, he gradually grows thankful when realizing Jerome could have very well taken advantage of him, and is even relieved Jerome was clear about why he needs to look out for older men who would welcome his affection.

10) Jerome is terrified of clowns, Wayne’s terrified of bats. Selina is the only other one who is aware of this. Selina resists the urge to dress up as a clown bat, because Selina is not a mean person, and that costume would probably look silly in any case. Jen encourages it jokingly.

11) Jerome definitely has a bond that’s stronger than a close friendship with Wayne, and it’s not a brotherly one, however it’s certainly not romantic.

12) Jerome and Wayne are just two traumatized kids that found each other, and aren’t sure what it would be like if they hadn’t, and aren’t sure they want to be. This is also why they view their other friends (Selina, Ivy, Jen, Jonathan, and Harley) as family as well– even if Jerome isn’t as close to them, to an extent, he cares about them.

[19 yr. old Wayne and 21 yr. old Jerome]1) The training era. The era where Wayne trains to become Batman, and something pushes Jerome to train with the Redhood gang. To the GCPD, they’re not worth noting yet, because Wayne’s on the other side of the world and the Redhood gang hasn’t committed big enough crimes to get noticed since the cops have bigger things to worry about than a few stealthy robberies. The lenient era where Jerome doesn’t frown down upon Wayne’s occasional flirts, but doesn’t encourage them either, but since he smirks at the advances rather than give Wayne a look, the occasional flirts have become a bit more common.

2) One of Ra’s Al Ghul’s first questions is whether Wayne is close to anyone who isn’t family since he needs to separate himself from all loved ones regardless of relation. Ra’s Al Ghul elaborates by asking Wayne if there’s a woman, for example. Wayne says no, and technically he isn’t lying, because Jerome isn’t a woman.

3) Jerome never mentions Wayne to the Redhood gang, because he’s aware that if he ever messed up, they’d go after anyone he cared about. So Jerome lies and insists he doesn’t have any loved ones.

4) Wayne writes a lot of letters to all of his friends– particularly Jerome, Selina, and Alfred. Alfred’s the only one who receives the letters, because the others get ‘lost.’

5) Jerome gets his ass kicked by a Redhood member he directs a sarcastic comment to. This is the first time Jerome has to patch himself up without Wayne’s help.

6) Wayne allows Ra’s Al Ghul to mess with his mind the same way the older guy that mind controlled him in Gotham did. Wayne tries to keep Jerome and Selina secrets since Ra’s already knows about Alfred. Wayne fails, and as punishment for not being honest Ra locks away his emotions towards them. It takes Wayne a month to break free of such and finally feel something other than disdain towards his old friends.

7) Jerome visits Selina sometimes. She can tell he’s not doing well, but he won’t listen when she begs him to leave the Redhood gang. Selina hopes Wayne will come back soon to talk some sense into Jerome. Wayne doesn’t come back for a long time. Jerome gradually starts visiting Selina less frequently.

8) Wayne has trouble recalling what Jerome looks and sounds like after a while. He’s also lost the picture he took of him with his friends the day before he left for training. He’s pretty sure Ra’s magic is the cause of this.

9) Jerome promised Wayne he’d stay on the right track when Wayne left. He doesn’t.

10) Wayne finally realized Ra’s was trying to shape him into a killer. Wayne escapes the league of shadows, but it’s a long way down the snowy mountain. It’s cold, but it’s fine, because he’ll see Jerome and the others tomorrow, and that’s what keeps the injured male going.

11) Jerome doesn’t miss Wayne anymore. He’s pissed at him for not coming back.

12) When Wayne finally does come back, he finds all his friends have moved, and only Alfred is there. He’s not sure where any of them are, and not even the best resources manage to tell him.

[21 yr. old Wayne and 24 yr. old Jerome] 1) The vigilante and Redhood era. The era where Wayne doesn’t really have a name for himself, and Jerome’s not solo nor Joker yet due to being in the Redhood gang. To the GCPD, they’re both menaces. The mutual era where the pair haven’t seen each other for a while, and neither is aware of the others’ secret identity, although this time Jerome returns Wayne’s advances because he has to admit– Mr. Wayne has become quite the catch.

2) Jerome sees Wayne just passing by when they finally reunite, and he has to do a double take because that’s definitely not the scrawny kid he befriended a while back, is it?

3) Wayne isn’t that different because when Wayne realizes Jerome’s staring at him in disbelief from the sidewalk he stutters like four times before regaining himself and ‘smoothly’ greeting the other with that charming Mr. Wayne charisma

4) Jerome can’t tell if he wants to hug his best friend, flirt with the new and improved billionaire, or strangle the jackass that went away for two and a half years longer than he said he’d be gone. Jerome goes with just flashing a smile to cover up his pissed off expression.

5) Wayne is too excited to realize Jerome’s a bit sore. He’s so excited in fact that he blurts out an invitation to dinner. He somehow does it casually, however.

6) Jerome accepts the dinner invitation because he likes free food. He’s not sure whether or not he wants to kill Wayne after dinner’s been paid for or get a few more free meals out of him. Jerome is nice and doesn’t kill the bastard acting like he hadn’t just left him high and dry for almost three years.

7) Wayne takes Jerome on a lot of dates. He’s still surprised that Jerome actually agreed to go with him on each date.

8) Jerome starts flirting with Wayne for fun. Jerome does not expect to have as much fun as he does.

9) Wayne flirts back, of course. Wayne is rather suave on the outside, and he’s pretty sure Jerome’s the only one who can tell he’s actually fairly anxious.

10) Jerome starts to fall for Wayne and Wayne’s an ass for making Jerome fall for him because Jerome’s SUPPOSED to be upset at Wayne but he’s gradually becoming anything but.

11) Jerome realizes they’re running out of date plans. He’s not sure why that’s resulting in him becoming so panicky until Wayne invites him to his house to just hang out, and Jerome feels relief at that. Jerome’s relieved that Wayne still likes just spending time with him, and they don’t always have to do fancy things to have fun. Jerome’s relieved that hasn’t changed.

12) Jerome is used to getting into others’ guy’s pants. He’s never really liked the guys he’s been with for the last few years, but at least the fun in the sheets wasn’t as boring as the guys were. Wayne hasn’t been with a lot of people despite his title of playboy, so when he goes tense when things get a little too heated, Jerome catches it, and Jerome backs off. Wayne isn’t used to not being chastised for being a 'prude’, and he feels rather safe around Jerome. They watch movies instead, and Jerome’s fine with that. Eventually, they do have a bit of fun, and it’s the first time Wayne hasn’t been teased into it. Wayne finds he’s pretty sure he loves Jerome, and while the feelings are mutual, Jerome can’t really find the words to say it back, and Wayne’s fine with waiting until he does.

[26 yr. old Wayne and 24 yr. old Jerome] 1) The Batman and Joker era. To the GCPD, Joker’s the only menace– unless you’re a bad cop. The complicated era where Joker has this obvious thing for Batsy that neither of them comment on, and where Wayne has a thing for Jerome– who he hasn’t seen in five years.

2) Jerome had a fight with Wayne a while back. He acts like he doesn’t even recall what it was about, but he does– it helps to just distract his mind from it, and insanity certainly helps with that.

3) Wayne blames himself for the argument. He should have handled it better. He shouldn’t have acted rashly. Jerome had every reason to be upset with him. He hadn’t realized it was going to result in Jerome leaving and never showing back up. The best resources couldn’t find Jerome, and Wayne’s not sure if he’s even in Gotham anymore, much less alive at that. Wayne likes to believe he is.

4) Jerome hasn’t been called Jerome for a while now. He’s not sure how many times he’s dyed his hair a lovely shade of emerald, or how many layers of war paint he has on his face that he never removes, or how many makeup kits he had to go through until the scar designs stopped rubbing off and ended up settling in like a permanent smudge.

5) Wayne became Batman to protect people like his friends. To be sure no one else ever had to go through what they did. To be sure they never had to go through what they each faced again. Nowadays, that Wayne seems like a mask, and he keeps his distance from it by occupying himself with capturing his friends he swore to protect and throwing them back in Arkham, because he’s gone and convinced himself that there’s a chance they could get better in there, and he’s doing the right thing.

6) Joker knows who all of the rogues are, but he doesn’t know who the vigilante is.

7) Batman is aware of who all the rogues are except for Joker– he’s believes he knows, but he doesn’t. He believes it’s a copycat from Jerome’s following– believes it’s Jack Napier. It’s not.

8) Joker manages to convince himself he feels nothing but hate for that jackass Mr. Wayne by directing the affection he’d had for him towards Batman. In reality, his affection has become obsession. In reality, he does feel a lot of hate for Wayne– but that’s not all he feels. It hurts to accept that, so Joker doesn’t.

9) Batman hates Joker because this piece of shit copycat just keeps coming back around and reminding him of Jerome. Nonetheless, considering he’s the closest thing he has to Jerome he can’t help but also somehow have this thing that he doesn’t have with the other rogues, and he’s not really sure if there’s a word for it, and he’s not sure how to describe it, but it’s screwed up and it pisses him off since it’s like this piece of Jerome is both helping him cope with what happened while also forcing him to not let it go.

10) Joker doesn’t expect their fights to ever turn out very different, however one does when Batman says those words, and even the voice changing device can’t cover up a phrase, because Wayne used that exact same phrase when they were pillow fighting and Jerome pinned him down, and how. funny. is. that.

11) Batman realizes who Joker is when Joker replies to that phrase the exact same way Jerome did.

12) Joker can’t help but contemplate on whether he wants to stab or kiss the jackass that he’d tried to leave five years ago yet had been seeing weekly this whole time in their little fights the same way five years ago Jerome couldn’t tell whether to strangle or flirt with the bastard that just showed up out of nowhere after disappearing for two and a half years.

#valeyne #jerome x bruce #bruce x jerome #anon #ask

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tswatch · 7 years

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I've been depressed, and suffering from GAD for years. I'm on and off suicidal. Im seeing a therapist and I swear to God im trying to get better but it never seems to be good enough! I'm always a screw up somehow, or a major disappointment or never as good as my sister, especially in my mom's eyes. She's always commenting on everything that's wrong with me or on what I haven't done, etc. Never on what I HAVE managed to do and it's just getting worse and worse! I feel worthless - (MU17 pt. 1)

Lately I wish I’ve never been born. Im nothing but WRONG to her! These past few months have been really bad. I feel dumber and crazier every day. I’ve been skipping my therapist at times, like today, because really whats the use? My mom whines and bitches how I never get better and Im probably wasting my therapists time and all so why go? She’ll just listen to me be a whiny entitled loser and change nothing about my life so she can best use the time for another client instead right? (MU17 pt. 2)

So I cancel or try to and then it all starts. My mom threatens me, mocks me, guilt trips me. I’ve been told to either stop being a miserable loser or move out (i have no money, she laughs and says too bad when I tell her I only wish I could). She says Im throwing my education down the drain which makes no sense because I’m fighting my way through college right now!! Says I’m disrespecting my therapist, calls me a privileged brat who thinks she’s the only one with problems in the world (MU17 pt3)

And when she’s done with all that, goes on about how she and my sister have plenty of problems in their lives but choose to push through it and power on unlike idiots like me who go to bed and cry. It goes on and on, never ends! She mocks me when I say I want to kill myself. Says I’m threatening her. she and my sister are like buddies, constantly shutting themselves in rooms to complain or text about me. Always my fault, always!! Never good enough ever!! I can’t take this anymore!! (MU17 pt4)

I can’t take this anymore!! I’m 22 and trying so hard to “get my act together”. I work, I’ve been in college for 4 yr.. I haven’t killed myself yet. But no not good enough. My major is a disgrace to my mom, I can’t talk about work or I’m complaining, my GAD and depression “aren’t real” they’re as she calls it “cop outs” for me wanting to just be a pessimistic bitch. No meds allowed. She won’t even talk to my therapist unless its to complain about me!! It’s not fair!! (MU17 pt 5)

My sister has never worked a day in her life, and is all kinds of perfect. Adored and constantly talked about yet my mom claims she has no favorite. HA! What did I do wrong, where did I go wrong?! I’m so sad, I hate myself enough and my mom just reinforces how much I suck. Sometimes she tells me she yells because she cares.. That’s caring?! She says if she didn’t care id have been on the streets the moment I turned 18. That’s caring?! Am I supposed to feel better by that?! Help me. :( (MU17 pt6)

Hey it’s MU17. The annoying one who just sent in a 6 part ask?? I need help so badly, please help! It’s only getting worse, now my mom is threatening to take away the one thing that she KNOWS makes me happy unless I do what she wants. I’m tired of being controlled! Tired of her claiming she cares but then insulting and mocking me to my face and behind my back!! I can’t take this!! I know you guys are so overloaded and I have a lot of nerve but PLEASE. I’m dying and nobody hears me anymore…

Hey I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this right now. It sounds extremely frustrating and I can only imagine how overwhelmed, afraid and upset you must be.

It sounds to me like your mother and sister aren’t positive or healthy forces in your life -- I’m wondering if they’re being mean to you on purpose, or if they don’t think the effect their words have on you? Have you ever told them how they make you feel when they treat you this way? I’d suggest communicating with them, calmly, how their words can hurt you. You can say something like, “I feel ___ when you ___ because ______”. Now there’s no guarantee that they’ll listen and change, but it’s worth a shot; and if they ignore you and continue being mean, then at least you know that you’ve tried.

I also want to reassure you and promise you that you aren’t a whiny, entitled brat or a useless client, or anything like that. Therapists are there to help us. They understand that change doesn’t happen over night, or even over the course of a month or two sometimes. They are there to support, to guide, us, not to judge us. And I am sure that your therapist wants to do the same for you.

It really doesn’t seem like your mother understands mental illness and she certainly isn’t empathetic at all to your situation. It might help to get your mother in for a group session with your therapist where you and your therapist can explain to your mother, in a controlled setting, your condition and how she can support you through it. Your therapist can also help explain to your mother that you are trying and making progress. If you’d like to try medication, your therapist or a psychiatrist can talk to your mother about that too.

Please let me know how you are. I’m concerned about you and I’m sending good thoughts your way. Please hang in there and keep moving forward -- I believe in you, no matter how hard things may be right now.

- Charissa

#mu17 #charissa #support

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