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#the rest of the scene has rock music over it which is very fitting lol. i love cutting my own hair

verecunda · 2 years

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Leithian: An Incoherent Reaction Post (Act II)

Back by not at all popular demand, the second part of my LOL reaction post. A week after the fact, admittedly, because my brain has just been doing elevator music all week, but for the sake of completeness if nothing else, see below!

(Act I)

- I like how we have Lúthien rocking back and forth, unable to stay still. Big fan of how expressive she is in general. Given that’s she’s supposed to be objectively the Most Beautiful of the Children of Ilúvatar™, it would have been too easy to make her just this figure of porcelain perfection, which would be boring (and, I would argue, uncanonical).

- oh geez, not Daeron again. Give it up, mate, your princessa is very much in another castle.

- Day 8, and I’m still not over Celegorm and Curufin. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS. The chest bump!! The cheery wee wave Celegorm(?) gives her before they fuck off!! I’m still crying. X’D (If the Silmarillion is the history as written by the Noldor, this show must be the history as written by the Sindar. Or the people of Nargothrond. XD)

- Oh great. As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, she gets rescued by a furry. I KID, I KID. Huan is a certified Good Boy. <3

- That wee look Lúthien and Huan share before they run off, the way it’s timed to the music... it makes me giggle a lot. :)

- ...yeah, I think this must be just about the moment that Celebrimbor decided he was now an orphan. XD

Meanwhile, in the Pit of Despair...

- Finrod’s fight with the werewolf is awesome, and I really, really like how, although there is music, there’s no singing. As if his powers of song have been utterly depleted, and the only weapons left to him now are his bare hands. *___*

- er... Beren... you know you can step in here at any time, pal...

- Shit, the second half really is just filled with music designed to get the blood pumping, isn’t it? 8D

- “I look out of the window at your beauty.” “No one’s allowed to be prettier than me in my own fortress!” >:(

- HUAN BEST BOY ❤️

- RIP Finrod, we hardly knew ye. :’(

- Honestly, I reckon they could have done so much more with the Angband sequence. They should have made an absolute MEAL out of it. I’d especially have liked some interplay between Lúthien and Morgoth, let him get his creep on before she sends him to sleep. Let me share in the satisfaction of him being so utterly humiliated!

- A very lovely song, completely ruined by me going “SLEEEP!” à la MST3K every minute or so. XD

- Bet Melkor’s really regretting having those sycophantic backing singers installed right now...

- Back in Doriath, we see that Thingol has very obviously been sleeping on the couch recently.

- Beren like “Hey-hop! I’m back with a source of neverending dad jokes!” :D

- ps. please, please, someone, let this poor lad clean that blood off his face, it’s driving me daft. XD

- Anyway, I don’t care what the rest of fandom says, I love Thingol. The way he comes striding back on stage, having swapped his kingly robe for his form-fitting trousers o’ wolf-slaying, HEY-HOP-ping along with Beren... WE STAN.

- Speaking of stanning, I'm pretty sure I actually went “yesssss” aloud the first time I got to Melian’s song about the hunt. Like, damn, that is an INTRO. Also - sleeves. *___*

- h-hey... hop...? 😭

- Mandos has such a... swishy quality, I can’t describe it. Good for him.

- All my smart-arse remarks and crap jokes stop here, btw. I have nothing but feels.

- Possibly a result of me spending the best part of the week before last being emotional over the Athrabeth, but quite a few lines here put me in mind of Aegnor. “Even death will not spare me from the loss.” “What need have I of immortal Valinor/If Beren is not by my side?” Also “Even a day can be compared with immortality” has dim echoes of Andreth’s “For one year, one day, of the flame I would have given all...”

(You know, just in case you weren’t crying enough.)

- waaaaugh, her voice. Actual tears in my eyes.

- He’s baaaaaack!!! (I half-expected him to give the world’s softest “hey-hop” XD)

- First time I saw this, I thought they should have had another scene to follow the book, with them returning to Doriath, Lúthien healing the winter of Thingol’s grief, the bittersweetness of Melian’s realisation, before the two of them head off for their new life together, but the actual ending, still in Mandos, has grown on me. I rewatched it just there and realised I was on the verge of crying. What do you other LOL nuts think?

- Curtain call! I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR. Carcharoth and Huan are both very good boys. <3 asdfhjl C&C did another chest-bump!! X’D I see you twirling there, Finrod! There is something absurdly charming about seeing Morgoth holding a bunch of flowers. Enjoy your flowers, big fella, you’ve had a rough day. <3

So, yeah, I’m absolutely in love with this wee show and everyone in it. 💖 Hopefully one day I’ll make it to a livestream so I can AAAAAAAA along with the rest of you!

#The Silmarillion #The Lay of Leithian Rock Opera

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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years

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“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?”

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?” Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up’ and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,” you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

6K notes · View notes

hedgefairy · 3 years

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Okay, I know, I know, it's already old news, everybody and their uncle in the costuming community has already talked it over, but anyhoo, I made notes when I crawled my way through effing Bridgerton and I will be damned if I don't vomit them onto this site. I have 32 pages of this shit, I'm not gonna throw that away.

I'm also typing this on my phone because I'm stuck on a trainride that's just doubled in length because this is the 2021 Northern German snow storm. What, there's snowflakes on the rails? We cannot possibly keep up our schedule, say goodbye to 90% of the connections.

Okay, on to Bridgerton, Episode 1

We're in Britain (oh, London, okay), allegedly 1813. I see people who are clearly meant to be asympatico, but is this size incusivity I spot there? Daring! Gasp! Me li...

Oh wait, no. The character is promptly shamed for her figure (which is mostly caused by the horrible cut of her dress. Every size can look great in Regency garb, but never mind, we need to make the "fat one" look bad!).

Also, no shifts under the stays. Why. There was obviously enough budget, don't tell me you couldn't afford a few strappy tops - it's not like the rest is historically accurate, so it would have sufficed to send some poor underpaid intern to H&M and get some. Nvm, that wouldn't be sexay.

Wait, is the garishly dressed (always a sign of a character of bad character in a costume drama) woman Delphine from Selfridge? Does she always have to play bitches? That's not nice, and just because she has a recognisable face, which by modern (read: americanised) standards is not favourable enough. Ugh. But I like the actress, so I'll let it slide (for now).

Lol, buttocks.

Not sure about the girls' dresses. Also, the Queen is a WOC, cool!

Oh no, one of the Featherington sisters faints! But that's okay because the Featheringtons are just comic relief and foil anyway.

I get weird incest vibes from the Bridgertons.

So the court is clearly 18th century and the show is set in the 1810s. I've by now seen several explanations for this decision, I still think it robs the Queen of reproductions of her actual historical gowns which were heavily inspired by the 18th century but so. Magnificently. Weird. It would have been so neat, and more of a "hey, I'm kinda out of touch with things" vibe, but hey, I'm not the one getting paid for making those taffeta gowns here (her hair is glorious, tho).

I'm very into the intro.

That Regency gossip girl is a real b, not unlike the Dowager Countess of Downton (unpopular opinion, I think she's pretty overrated, yes, I like Maggie Smith).

Again, no shifts.

Where do I know the "pragmatic" Bridgerton sister from? Ah, it's The Paradise. And Jonathan Strange. (Wait, she's my age. And she's supposed to be a teenager. Man, do I love a good Dawson casting. I like the actress, though, she has a face ™!).

Aaaah. We get it. She's the spirited one. She also doesn't care about dresses because she's not like other girls™. I really like her voice (but she still doesn't sound like a teenager).

The heck is up with Lady F's dress and that of her friend? Oh, yeah. Antagonist fashion.

Of course the Featheringtons are Horrid Hags™ aside from Penny who's nice, but the pudgy one (at least we don't get a case of "she's not conventionally attractive so she's bad").

Oooh, the cousin! Supposed to suck, but ofc she's a stunner, and only Penny (who's the nice one, remember!) is delighted to have her around. She's also a POC, which is nice but apparently that means she does not follow fashion, hair-wise. I would have loved to see some Regency hair on her, it would have been so pretty *cries in Greek updo*

Ugh, we're still in Ep. 1, typing this on my phone was a bad idea.

Lady Danbury and the Duke guy are delightful with each other (more POC! So neat!).

The girl the oldest Bridgerbro screws is apparently a singer, which isn't up to status for his doucheship, and she doesn't wear a shift.

The music at the ball sounds like something from the Top 40s, but I'm woefully ignorant of contemporary music charts so I can't tell what it is. I like it when they do that in historical-ish works, making well-known pop or rock stuff work for the ambience (ugh, that dance scene to Golden Years in Knight's Tale. My heart. In a good way.)

I dig the Ducktail hair of Penny's crush. Oh, wait, that's a Bridgerbro. I don't quite get why the hair trends of the time don't apply to the POC characters or extras, but seeing how most white characters also show a shameful disregard for the weirdnes and gloriosity (that's not a word) that is early 1800s hair (the 1830s take the cake, tho) despite those hairdos being basically designed for white people hair, I don't think I care much (well, I do, but about all of them). Overall the hair is horrid and not very 1810s. Let's just leave it at that.

Like a good old romance novel (I've since been told that Bridgerton is supposed to be a pastiche of such novels, but I really couldn't tell from the series, not at all, and I'm not inclined to read the books) we have

a pretty, kind, superpure daughter of the main family

the mean matriarch (could have been an aunt, too, but here she's the mum) of the rivalling or antagonist family

a spirited daughter of the main family (in most romance novels this would be our heroine but so far she refreshingly lacks a love interest and pretty daughter seems to get the most screen time)

a Horrid Suitor™

a Hot Suitor™ who doesn't want attention

a really good and doting good parent

Lol, misheard Greece for Grease with Ducktail Bridgerbro, whose name is Colin, apparently. This is funny because of his Danny Zuko memorial hair.

Overall a bit too much bling for my taste, and too few pearls. It looks like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen with a Regency theme.

Of course the romance is going to be the Pretty One aka. Daphne and the Duke and he's even bros with her eldest bro. Wait, are they exes? I can haz bi? No? Aww, shucks. Maybe in another episode (spoiler: no).

Okay, WHAT is it with Lady F's dresses and hair. Like, she reminds me of Mars Attacks. Which, as you might remember, was not set in the Regency period.

Lord B (Bridgerbro the Eldest) sucks, he's screwing Opera Girl without any intention of marrying her but he's bitchy about his sister being ogled by his Eton (or wherever) bestie?

Oh, I'm in Hamburg now. And my train back home got canceled, so back to Berlin it is because there's not a single option to get to Hanover tonight, at least that's what the lady from the train station is saying, "oh well, you'll have to go back and try again tomorrow", so that's awesome...

Honestly, if it weren't so late and I didn't have things to do at home I'd find this terribly exciting.

Back to Bridgerton!

Where were we? Ah.

I can't even read my own annotation. Something about George III. I think I was upset about how they totally ignored that it's called Regency because George IV acted as the regent king, and he doesn't even feature in the series, I guess because they wanted to play up the Queen? Not a fan, because thanks to Horrible Histories I'm quite fond of that guy.

Again, no shifts.

Oh, look, it's Horrid Suitor™, destined for leftovers.

The Featherington cousin gets all the attention but no fleshed-out character.

Penny Featherington's dog is named Lord Byron, which ❤️

I like the Duke! He's there, drinking in his club (even though they're a patriarchal remnant of the past I have a weird appreciation for stuffy Gentlemen's Clubs, I blame Bertie Wooster and the Drones), calling Lord B out for his general fuckery.

Oh no, Ducktail Colin is more into the Cousin than Penny, who obviously pines for him!

Thank you, Lord B, for enabling Horrid Suitor™. Nobody asked you to be such a fucktwit.

The Queen is, of course, a bit of a bitch, but patronage from cool Lady *scrolls up for name* Danbury ensues for Protagonist Girl™ Daphne.

"I wish they had found a better trend language", what the heck did I even mean by that? That's what you get for just scribbling down notes while watching and simultaneously sewing. 18th century pants, in case you wanted to know.

Cousin is angry, probably because Lady F behaves like Cinderella's evil stepmother, because Cousin is prettier than her daughters and gets, like, all the suitors because Lord B bitched away everyone who wanted to get into Daphne's dowry ifyouknowwhatImeanwinkwinknudgenudge, right across the street into Cousins parlour.

The Bridgertons are annoyingly perfect. Ugh.

Oh look, it's "banter" between Daphne and Dukey! It's so Pride & Prejudice! It's almost a tiny bit Shakespeare! I put banter in parentheses because wow, nope, I'm not getting any chemistry here.

Uh, Lady B calls out Lord B (aka. her son aka. Bridgerbro the Eldest) for his screwery with Opera Girl and his outpimpery of his sister to Horrid Suitor™, buuuurrrrrnnn. He promptly calls of his affair with Opera Girl.

No shifts!

Penny gets to dance with Ducktail Colin at the thing! Good for her, but it's a country dance with jumping and fun, because she's a) the pudgy character and b) a Featherington, so it can't be something romantic and pretty (I personally like country dances, but they aren't protagonist dances).

Oooh, Cousin had her period, oh no, oh snap, oh she didn't, because she's PREGNANT! Shit, that's problematic, and not because she's an unmarried woman in the 1810s, but because she gets close to no lines at all so far, and suddenly she's pregnant and telling Lady F that she sucks for being privileged, violence ensues, this is ugly. Man, I get what some critics mean by "the POC actors*actresses get all the problems" and that not exactly being great.

Horrid Suitor™ makes property claims about Daphne, eeewwwww, thanks to Lord B's general suckiness, ewww, r@pe attempt ensues, was that really necessary? It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the series and generally nope, yay, broken nose! (which was indeed totally necessary). Nice one, and probably the only scene so far (spoiler: overall) in which I actually like Daphne. Dukey thinks a mean left hook is attractive, and, generally speaking, he's not wrong.

Daphne and Dukey come up with a pseudo-shakespearean plot to pretend to be totally into each other so she can attract suitors by being not available and he gets not to have fangirls by being not available, and as someone who has read a few too many historical-ish bodice rippers I know exactly where this is going. I mean, come on.

I can't see enough of the following choreography to complain about it. Man, I miss historical dance classes.

And that concludes Ep. 1! Finally! Thank you for getting this far, sorry for all of it (especially typos, it's the bane of unwanted autocorrect), I guess?

Update on the train situation: I've been told by the ticket control person that I shouldn't get my hopes up until noon tomorrow.

To be continued,

because I didn't take these 32 pages of notes for nothing.

#Bridgerton #Hedgewatch #historical costuming #Well not really because wow these costumes #Thank you for travelling with Deutsche Bahn #2021 norther Germany snow storm #Trainwriting #Snarky commentary #I wish I was better at captions but it's late and I've been wearing a mask for four hours straight now and I'm hungry #Bridgerbore

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mintjasias · 3 years

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infinity train book 4 speculation

i came across this answer from an old AMA about book 4:

and while it reads as a bit of a joke, after owen's most recent promo video, i feel like this answer may have some potential spoilers to book 4

while by now we know the protagonists are ryan and min-gi, not the rock couple in s3, given that they want(ed?) to become rock stars, they could be considered a "rock couple" (i won't comment too much about whether or not this "couple" will be a romantic one, though i do Hope)

the season will be about them figuring out their relationship, even as they're "separating emotionally" (from whatever falling out they've had in the past, perhaps...)

we know they're canadian, and maybe their band would be prog-rock? or just as fellow musicians, they also like their local music scene

the trailer had a shot of what looked like a bug zapper and owen's recent video with the baby crying sound playing over the pig = baby pigs

so maybe one of them will really like the brownies from a certain restaurant, out of the potential tidbits of info this blurb has about s4 that hasn't been revealed elsewhere so far

--------- edit: 4/16/21 after watching book 4 ---------

too lazy to reblog and add separately LOL. but yea that comment/AMA answer definitely had some slight nods to s4

the brownies were for pig baby, we saw the bug zapper, and the season is entirely focused on their relationship and stuff hahaha

while personally i feel like ryan and min-gi are as hinted as korrasami and bubbline (pre-finale) were, and just didn't have their moment to kiss or whatever while on the train, i also think it worked out for the better that way (they had a lot of stuff to work through and unless they had changed some of their conflict, i don't think throwing in a kiss would have worked as well)

also tbh it's very in-line with the way the rest of infinity train has been, e.g. with jesse and lake or even simon and grace, though we know what happened for the latter LOL.... but it feels like equal treatment of like. not throwing in explicit romance because that's not the focus of the train

and like. focusing on their relationship and that they want to keep each other in their lives and face the future together is. :)

besides this, my personal conspiracy theory is that the AMA answer above referring to that rock couple (which we saw kiss = explicitly romantic couple) as ryan and min-gi means that rymin canon (... after the train, at least imo. and/or not shown because of higher-ups)

also the reading of music as an allegory for being gay in b4 is an excellent interpretation ngl!

... also one of the crew had a howl's moving castle au doodle of them which :'))))))) well. it fits them Really Well, in the context of the season. and is also a romantic couple :) hahahaha

anyway yeah

#infinity train #infinity train book 4 #personally after i looked back and saw that the s3 rock couple kissed i instantly got brainworms #but i'd rather lower expectations and be pleasantly surprised LOL #me rambling #i just caught up on infinity train s1-3 like a few days ago #but i haven't seen anyone bring this up so here

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chanyattaa · 4 years

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Dreamcatcher Dystopia Album Review!

So I went to Twitter and asked my followers to send me an album they think I had never listened to to review. Only one person responded (thank you @sparklejoonbug ) and she recommended Dystopia! (GIF is not mine I got it from Kpopsource on giphy!!)

Disclaimer: I am NOT a professional. This is all just my opinion. I used to study music but decided on a different career path but this still DOESN’T MAKE ME A PROFESSIONAL. It is also okay to disagree!

Track One: Intro

I didn’t rate the intro or the outro. The intro has this nice spooky vibe I liked a lot. I have never listened to a Dreamcatcher before but their title tracks give me high expectations!

Track Two: Scream

I have heard this before and it’s actually in my “Bops of 2020″ playlist. I only know a couple of members names but I think her name is Dami(?) that has the deeper voice that usually does the rapping. I love it! The “Scream, scream, scream” in the chorus reminds me of old Halloween songs like Monster Mash and stuff like that. I love the harder EDM for them. I think besides the rock genre that this genre suits them really well. I love this song so much!!

Rating: 10/10

Track Three: Tension

I love the strong guitar intro. To me, a lot of their songs sound like anime intros and I stan it. I don’t know who’s singing when but I love their vocals so much. Their whole vocal line is one of my favorites to listen to. I don’t know how else to describe it and I forgot to write down timestamps but I like the “Badababa...” in the chorus a lot. The quiet verses but strong chorus is something I did a lot. I admire the fact that in some of their songs, it doesn’t sound like kpop. It’s like they completely ignore the standards for that genre wise and it’s AMAZING. The vocal slide into the final chorus gave me CHILLS. I do have to say I liked this song but I didn’t like the abrupt ending. It felt too short and almost out of place and unfinished.

Rating: 8/10

Track Four: Red Sun

The intro <3 Dami’s rap once again coming through and making me gay. I love the spookier vibe to it. The sound of this song kind of reminds me of Melanie Martinez in a way like the gentle music box sounds. The vocals were also great! I didn’t have much to say about this song except for I love it!

Rating: 9/10

Track Five: Black or White

All of the introductions to their songs are so powerful to me and are a great set up for the rest of the songs. I will never be over Dami’s deep and unique voice. NEVER! I do like the vibe of this song and how it makes me feel like I could strut to it. I LOVE the mix of the orchestra. Dami’s verse!!!!!! I love her. Maybe I should shut up and become an Insomnia lol I love the bass line of this song as well. It gives it a jazzier sort of vibe (which in retrospect is a good set up for the next song). The bridge I felt was kind of off? It was very gentle compared to the rest of the song. It wasn’t completely out of place but it still felt weird. I liked this song but I didn’t love it. I couldn’t really see myself bopping to this song a lot.

Rating: 7/10

Track Six: Jazz Bar

The sort of lo-fi sound mixed with acoustics in the beginning of this is something I liked a lot. I thought this song was almost too similar to “Black or White”. I did really like the vocals and the jazzy piano in the background. Not too much to talk about this track.

Rating: 7/10

Track Seven: SAHARA

The desert vibes is something I totally expected. It kind of sets the scene and makes you feel like you’re somewhere else than your bedroom scrolling through tumblr. I loved the vocals in the prechorus. THE BUILD UP TO THE CHORUS WAS COOL. The intense drums and then the big drop off. I didn’t think the chorus was as hard as it could’ve been for that dramatic drop but I loved it nonetheless. I really vibed with drums. This song also had an abrupt ending but I felt like it actually fit this song.

Rating: 8/10

Track Eight: In The Frozen

I loved the eerie vibes! Again...VOCALS. I like the EDM vibe for them. I feel like I said this earlier (or maybe not yet) but I think if they were to step away from rock, EDM like this would be their best fit. The lovely but intense chorus is something I DREAM of. I’m mentioning Dami a lot but I just love her voice so much I’m sorry! The last chorus was a perfect way to end the song.

Rating: 9/10

Track Nine: Dawn

This song...I felt was weird. I liked the sound of it but it just didn’t feel like them. To be fair I’ve only ever heard their title tracks before today so maybe their other b-sides sound like this but to me it just felt so out of character. It was like they had to remind everyone that they are a kpop girl group so they brought back the pop like sound. I didn’t care too much for the abrupt ending of this song. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it too much either.

Rating: 7/10

Track Ten: Full Moon

I didn’t know how to describe the intro besides classic but I loved it. The build up to the chorus was stunning and the powerful vocals was straight up almost orgasmic. Again...bringing up Dami’s lines because DAMN! I loved the talking part that was a part of the bridge. The final chorus was a beautiful ending. This song was wonderful beginning to end.

Rating: 10/10

Track Eleven: Over the Sky

I love the piano in the beginning. This song brought back that Dreamcatcher vibe that I felt was missing in Dawn. The anime intro sounds are back! I love the guitar in this song as well. It makes me miss playing guitar so much. The piano with heavy drums and guitar was *chef’s kiss*. This song was another exquisite one.

Rating: 10/10

Track Twelve: Outro

Again, I didn’t rate the intro or outro because it doesn’t really have anything. It just wraps up the album pretty much.

Track Thirteen: Scream Instrumental (Skipped)

Track Fourteen: Paradise

This was a solo song right? It’s Siyeon. I believe. Please, correct me if I’m wrong. I love the fact that this song was just her but you could still tell it was a Dreamcatcher song. It was her own vibe but it still had her roots. The chorus is absolutely GORGEOUS. I got goosebumps from this song and that’s kind of rare for me. I can only think of a handful of songs that gave me goosebumps on the first listen. I like the synth in the little after part of the chorus. The bridge, the adlibs in the final chorus, everything in this song is perfect. To me, this is the best song on this whole album.

Rating: 10/10

Overall Rating: 8/10

I really enjoyed this album and I don’t regret listening to it at all. I have a couple of new favorite songs from it. The reason why I gave this album an 8 is because the songs that I thought were almost disappointing. Black or White, Jazz Bar and Dawn kind of ruined the vibe for this album for me. I don’t think I’ll really listen to those songs willingly. If they came up on shuffle, I probably wouldn’t skip them but I wouldn’t be belting the lyrics or dancing around my house. Overall, I really really really liked this album and I can’t wait to see more from Dreamcatcher. Thank you for reading all of this and I hope to do more in the future!

-Aki

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Homecoming

Masterpost

6x02: Homecoming

I really need to knock the rest of these out -- hopefully soon I will! But man, there’s a lot more in season 6 than you might realize. A lot of these episodes are pretty packed.

At the beginning of the episode, we get a lot more Blaine-meta-ish things, and the one thing I’d like to pull from it is that Blaine’s getting therapy. Yup, that’s right, both these boys are getting their heads checked by a professional - and that’s a good thing! Look, I don’t think Kurt and Blaine are going to live a 100% perfect and happy life- no couple can accomplish that, but the fact that they’re both trying to better themselves is a huge thing, and recognizing that is a step forward in becoming adults (I mean, not even adults make the best choices to better their mental health). So yeah, they might not patch up things perfectly, but I think there’s a lot of subtext (cause Glee’s always been subtext) that shows they’re both in better places by the time season 6 starts.

The New Monday Night Dinner

So, because Will is a character again (ug) we start having Monday night dinners at his place (ug, ug). Okay, it’s not really that - but he’s supposedly having all the show choir directors over for a friendly chat? How convenient that they’re all former students. And why is Sam there? You know what - I’m not gonna think too hard about this.

The main thing is that Rachel and Kurt are already having issues being co-directors because it’s Rachel and Kurt.

And then Blaine arrives and Kurt feels super awkward about it. I mean how do you act when you’ve dumped the person you love the most in the world and now have to be in a semi-casual social situation with them with your former teacher, former roommate whom your ex once made out with and who will some day carry your child, and former dude whom you both had a crush on. This show is weird guys.

Anyway, Kurt’s actually happy to see Blaine - even if Blaine is totally ignoring Kurt’s there. And then Will turns the conversation to ‘everyone be nice to each other’, which lasts about five seconds when they try to give Blaine some advice about a girl being in the Warblers and Blaine is unsure about it. It’s awkward. But hanging out with your ex whom you aren’t actually speaking to at this moment is always gonna be awkward.

Getting the Gang Back Together

Um, what even is this outfit trying to say, Kurt? Are you the colorful walking dead?

Anyway - Rachel and Kurt start their tenure as semi-teachers by organizing sheet music. And let’s just say it -- they both have the most absurd way of doing it. Just -- no, genre than artist, that’s it you weirdos. But of course, Kurt would do it by emotion.

You know what - say what you will about Kurt and Blaine’s communication -- Rachel and Kurt have by far less communication going on. They’ve worked for two hours at ‘organization’ before they realized they were doing two different things. Oh Hummelberry.

Anyway, we get another argument from them - cause that’s what they do best. And Kurt basically says what should have been said hours ago - that this is pointless without members. However, if he’s doing his work study here (don’t ask me to define what exactly his work study is - I don’t get it either), shouldn’t he be proactive, too, in getting kids to sign up? And what’s with the defeatist attitude Kurt? Kid’s still got issues relating to his break-up.

(It’s also times like these that I do wish we had gotten a final career related story for Kurt, but alas, all the things we never had).

Anyway, Kurt storms out as he usually does when having a fight and made his point.

So - after a scene of Rachel following a disembodied voice to the men’s locker room -- we get Kurt meeting her in the auditorium and, sigh, apologizing for hurting her feelings. Again. Cause he’s never done that before.

I think I’m tired of Hummelberry, guys.

Anyway - weirdly, he apologizes for the things he said in the previous scene about her life. Which, um, is weird - cause he didn’t actually take any personal shots at her -- which means they edited out some extra dialogue. Man, I wish they had left that in - but can’t be too mean to Rachel.

Anyway - Rachel says, yeah, they have to be proactive in getting people to join us - so she’s pulled in some favors. Idk why Kurt is so -- who did you bring in Rachel?!? He could have easily figured it out.

Well everyone is all the former cast members who are still living and aren’t really part of the main cast anymore. It’s Homecoming - so it seems fitting. Though, I have to say. Everyone looks like they’ve aged about ten years -- which isn’t a bad thing, it just means this little coda of a season would have felt better placed much further in the future.

Anyway - Kurt’s surprised and happy to see all his old friends. I have to say though - I miss that Blaine isn’t there. I know he can’t because plot and the fact they’re trying to reset back to season 2 but still.

Anyway - who cares if any of this makes sense, we have the gang back together again.

Go they gather everyone in the choir room and explain that they need help getting the kids to join. And Kurt’s super frigidity. Huh. I think there’s some room to explore Kurt as someone who is an anxious kid with minor OCD tendencies. Cause that feels very apparent here.

It’s funny that they rattle on about how much they need their friends to band together and save glee club because the school needs it -- when really, both Rachel and Kurt need it. I mean, that is kind of the point of this season, but... it’s just interesting to think about. I mean, it’ll come full circle when Kurt talks about choosing another path to take at the end of the season. They both hit rock bottom and now they’re looking for something to fill the space that will help them get back on the right track. And their cause is saving the glee club.

Hm. It’s just interesting that this season of Glee is kind of one last stop in Lima before going out in to the world to really be the person you’re supposed to be. I’m sorry the story wasn’t developed a tad more (except in the case of Rachel) but that’s what it is. It’s almost fitting, then that I’m wrapping these up with the same kind of mentality. It’s nice to have that one last thought and move on. Anyway -- I’m getting meta on myself, lol...

So - their brilliant plan is to sing in the school - cause that’s always worked in the past, lol. And they do an 80s classic - because it’s Glee and the last season and Ryan Murphy has to get in all those hits that he didn’t use yet.

But I think what stands out to me about this performance is that it’s less about the lyrics (which I don’t think make much sense anyway) and more about the visual style. They’re recreating the music video, yes, but also adding the same elements of style used in the video -- the whole running from the police (Sue) thing, and it’s really pretty cool.

You can’t get a really good luck at Kurt’s 80s outfit - but here it is, and this goober is just having a lot of fun dancing on the tables and singing in his high register. It’s nice that they’ve now fully incorporated Chris’s voice into the group numbers -- especially when he’s not going to be singing much on his own.

Gay Legacy

So, I guess later that day, Kurt goes to try to recruit the gay football player. Cause, damn, if Ryan Murphy still is clinging on to his closested football player issues. I really don’t know why Kurt’s wasting his time -- Spencer obviously doesn’t want to be a part of the team, nor have we seen any indication that he actually has some kind of performing arts talents. But I suppose this scene is supposed to be a commentary on the current state of the LGBT community.

Actually, that’s exactly what it’s about and it’s kinda fascinating. The thing about this conversation is to show just how far things have come from 2009. Society has become more accepting of the LGBT community (obviously, it’s got a long ways to go - but from when Glee started, a lot of progress has been made). And we’re now here talking about different types of LGBT people. Kurt can’t and isn’t the catch all for gay anymore - that definition has widen (even if it’s always been that wide and diverse, we can now, as a society, have that conversation). And now even gay kids can have various inspiration to pull on - it doesn’t have to be musicals, it can be Modern Family. And that even though Kurt and Spencer share a preference for men, doesn’t make them any more similar than any other two guys.

So, yeah, it’s interesting that this scene (and the following one that Kurt’s not in) has less to do with the story and recruitment, as it is Glee’s usual way of knocking down the fourth wall and saying - yeah, okay so we’re not relevant like we used to be, but we did have an impact.

Meanwhile, in actual story time - we get to remember that Kurt was once on the football team -- and learn that Spencer is an asshole, and I’m still not sure why Kurt’s trying so hard to recruit him.

Recruitment

Kurt next pops up when Brittany is giving him advice on how to win Blaine back -- which involves burning all his clothes (yes, nude Kurt) but getting normal clothes (um, he��s been dressing ‘normally’ for a while now), and then being honest with him (yes do that!) about being a Barbara Bush impersonator (wtf Brittany?). Kurt’s equally confused as the rest of us and moves on with his life as he should.

However - I have to wonder - did they know at this point that Brittany was gonna try to get them back together? I have no idea. None of Brittany’s actions make sense most of the time, so I shouldn’t think too much about it.

Meanwhile - the main issue is that they’ve all failed to recruit members - mostly because none of them really know what they hell they’re doing. But then Roderick’s magical voice floats through the vents (sure) and they’re all mystified and run to go find him.

They find Roderick in the library - and why do they all look terrifying in this scene? Come join the cult - Roderick, lol. Anyway - they get a new member.

And I’ll take a second and talk about the season 6 newbies - who are actually pretty interesting. They aren’t cut from the same cloth of the originals as the season 4 newbies, their story lines all converge with existing characters, and we’re not forced to sit through any awkward love triangles. They served a function and it worked, too bad this didn’t happen way back in season 4 - the show might have lasted longer.

And then we get a long speech about what it is to be in glee. Cause apparently we needed that reminder. Kurt doesn’t say anything but nod in the background as other people give speeches. Ah yes, we’re back in season 1 again aren’t we.

Roderick auditions for Glee -- cause tradition - and Kurt... doesn’t really do anything. But he’s there looking pretty so...

First Meeting

So, ha, okay. Roderick is their only recruit and he shows up and Kurt has this nice speech about how you can’t go back again, but maybe you can make something new and better out of the ashes of the old thing. And I think that’s kind of cool -- because it’s not just about glee or his career, but about his relationship with Blaine. Like I said earlier, even though they’re all home again, the point is to go in a, god help me, new direction -- one that’s better than before, and as we’re coming to the ending of the show, I kind of like that there’s a sentiment that says - yeah you can and are allowed to start over and do things again. Second chances are a thing.

However, they’re stopped quickly because Blaine comes in, screaming about how Jane was poached by Rachel and will now be in New Directions instead of the Warblers. Blaine, who is clearly still angry (and very confused about his emotions) at Kurt blames Kurt for making it all happen -- which is ridiculous, but c’mon Kurt, Blaine’s allowed to have some residual issues. Kurt even tries to say that it’s fine because the Warblers have a lot of people and New Directions don’t - but Blaine’s pushing back. Which is actually a good thing, tbh, even if he is a little off the handle here. Blaine’s no longer going to be a doormat - and that works much better for the balance of he and Kurt in the long run.

Kurt and Blaine are on their way to being on equal footing again, but here there’s still a lot of pain that hasn’t been healed yet. Subtext!!

Homecoming

Alright, so official glee club has started! And they get two more members as the weird cheerleader twins join. And it’s all happiness and joy as this new/final chapter has officially begun.

And then we get the final number - Home - where Kurt gets to sing in his lovely lower register. :D And the Homecoming celebration officially starts. It’s a little weird to see the kids doing something so high school normal, lol, but hey it’s a fun time to celebrate.

So, um, Kurt, Sam, and Artie go spy on Spencer because -- tradition? I mean, that’s one of the themes of episode. Let’s go with tradition.

Anyway, being back is actually kinda bittersweet for Kurt because being back home means that there are still a lot of unresolved issues from the past to deal with.

Blaine and Karofsky are there - and Blaine is intentionally not looking at Kurt, as Kurt looks like he’s been stabbed in the heart watching from afar. The song plays on - Home is when I’m with you. Well, Rachel and Mercedes and McKinley is home, but there’s a bit ‘home’ that’s missing in Kurt’s heart. We’re gonna get there - but we do have a little ways to go. ;)

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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kristinarambles · 5 years

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Theme Song

Analysis One:

When I first started watching this show it was to find something my oldest daughter [who was three at the time] and I could watch together. We had been watching Gravity Falls but I knew it was coming to an end and I was pretty tired of Shimmer and Shine and Daniel Tiger and whatnot [not that there’s anything wrong with them and in fact I like them, just was over it lol]. Disney movies over and over I can do but I wanted something new that I could really get into. My sister loved it and I saw screenshots and stuff all over Tumblr so I was curious. I sought my sisters referral and she told me it was beautiful but might contain content that Andrea was too young to understand/comprehend, but even so it was made so it would still entertain her and contained a lot of themes that would reinforce the type of things I was trying to teach her as a mother. Now my youngest who was a babe-in-arms when we started has reached about the same age as Andrea was when we started watching and it's all of our big thing that we watch together and love so much. It met and exceeded all of my expectations in every way. The artwork and music is beautiful, I've added several of the songs to my "playlist" of lullaby's that the children request for me to sing to them. The girls adore the characters, Andrea even named "her” dog after Pearl [she’s even got the sharp nose true to form, but as a counterpoint likes to eat trash and roll in the mud]. They play games set to the story, talk about it all the time, cheer them on as we watch and even cry. It keeps us engaged and guessing and even my husband doesn't mind it and will occasionally watch the new episodes with us. We love how excited the kids get about them lol.

I was going to just jump into the first episode, but I thought I should do a little breakdown of the theme songs first,the old one from the first season and the one we've been using since the beginning of season two until presumably we'll get a new one at the start of season six. Also forgive me for not having pictures, but I don’t want to be stealing pictures even with references or tags and I have two children so I don’t have the time or patience to be going and getting my own screengrabs.

First I think it's interesting that in the old theme Pearl and Amethyst [Amethyst pulling out/down her shirt] both show off their glowing gems but you can only see one of Garnet’s as she adjusts her shades. Steven's can be seen glowing until he finishes his little somersault and his shirt settles. I like how the next few flashes show his youth [and immaturity] in comparison to the Gems as well. After seeing the theme we've had the last couple of years so many times I really love the parallels and changes. How when the warp pad goes off Steven just passively floats upside down, he makes a face when Garnet ruffles his hair [which is one of my favorite of their earlier interactions], running to catch up to them and then leaping to get in the lead. It gives us a real feel for their relationship but in an abstract way. Steven is the kid brother, to be protected and sheltered, maybe even a little annoying. They love him, but he isn't really a member of the team, he's just a tag-along. Then it evolves, they start in the temple but it appears that they're at the galaxy warp in the second theme. They focus on the Gems faces now and not their gems. He is now the one who activates the warp, with a hint of the Diamond Salute, everyone ruffles his hair while he smiles [with star eyes no less] because he knows how much they love him. Then the running with Steven trying to catch up turning to all of them just posing one by one with their weapons, but still as a team. We get a nice shot of Connie as the van drives through Beach City, she is front and foremost from our point of view. Lars and Sadie, Mr. Smiley, the Cool kids, Kiki and Nanefua are all there but Connie is the most important. Lots of people have pointed out the change in her appearance in the theme, and it's certainly the most obvious but I like how subtly everyone else changed too. Lars goes from throwing himself against the window to leaning comfortably, Sadie even looks more comfortable. The Cool Kids are now hanging out in front of The Big Donut instead of on the curb across the street. Onion is on top of it when originally it seemed that Mr. Smiley was about to toss him out. Looking back he was probably just handing him off to Sour Cream, but we didn't know he was his big brother back then. Jamie has been added, although off to the side sulking [of course]. Also added are Mayor Dewey, Kofi, and the Frymans. As funny as it is to see Ronaldo being flustered at the van driving by instead of Lars, my heart is warmed by PeeDee hanging out smiling on his father's shoulders and waving at Steven. It might be more symbolism that Ronaldo is trying to gather up his papers but pauses to watch the van go by. He has a tendency to let his theories run away with him, but Steven has consistently set him straight.

All that being said, Connie's transformation is arguably the most important other than Steven himself, although in light of Pink Lars and Rock Star Sadie not necessarily the most drastic in appearance. She is still on the outskirts, but it's no longer because she's an outsider as evidenced by her running after the van instead of just holding her hat in place due to the wind made by it passing her. I love the contrast in her traditionally feminine skirt to her more utilitarian shorts and clutching her book and holding onto her hat turning into still holding the book but loosely by her side instead of tightly to her chest and resting her sword comfortably on her shoulder. I really identified with early Connie and her escape into books. As a Navy brat I moved a lot, and being the oldest I had a lot of responsibility I didn't really want. When we first meet her in Bubble Buddies and she doesn't even notice Steven because she was so into her reading, I felt that on a very visceral level. I wish I could have found real magic like she did lol. Her books are still a part of her, but she’s grown so much, trained to be strong and skillful, earning her place on the team. I don’t think we ever actually see her wear a hat in show, and she loses her literal rose tinted lenses and adds in her glow bracelet showing off her and Steven’s friendship.

Greg is finally shown at the end, representing Steven's human needs with a grill haha, then in a final bit of symbolism in the first theme we see each of the Gems get their own frame with their name superimposed above them. They each get a slightly different time of day and a signature little move to show us who they are without saying a word. Garnet reclining in her lawn chair and only moving her foot at sunset. Amethyst flipping her hair at twilight with the moon behind her. Pearl adjusting her skirt as she sits in front of the fully night sky filled with diamond shaped stars. Steven eating a hot dog with the temple at sunrise behind him. In the new theme however they gather around Steven after a casual shot of the temple. Connie runs to join them, Greg relaxes up against a napping Lion. He strums his guitar as Connie turns smiling. Garnet lowers herself to sit behind Steven, Amethyst in her enthusiasm slides to be beside him, Pearl kneels down neatly They all belong there, as a team. They are all still individuals with their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses, but they communicate and fit together so much better now. The title is over all four of them instead of just Steven.

Steven says his powers allow him to connect to people, and sure that's a big part of his gem powers but I think his human half has a really great power too. He has the ability to make people connect to each other. His empathy brings all the people he cares about together and over the course of the series he's been able to dissect and help them solve the issues keeping them apart as well as deal with their own self images and trauma.

There's been a lot of speculation about a new theme, and although initially I was unhappy with the idea and content with the current theme I am coming around. I was firmly against the idea of Rose being Pink and that turned out better than I ever could have hoped so I'm fully trusting in Rebecca Sugar now. Especially with those scenes at the very end of Change Your Mind. The pan over the Crystal Gems, Off Colors and the humans mingling on the beach with the Diamonds looking over them. The change in lyrics about peace instead of fighting while all of the newly uncorrupted gems reunite in the fountain, and the fact that Steven leaves out his own name to make sure he mentions that there's more of them. And then the Crystal Gems in front of the temple, all of them. Lapis and Peridot have officially joined all in, Bismuth is back for good, Connie, Lion and Greg still in their rightful places, even Pumpkin and Cat Steven. It's all just so wonderful, if we do get an updated theme I'm sure it will be just as lovely, I'm trying not to have expectations although the parallels seem to indicate that at least that last bit in front of the temple will be integrated.

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megamanxfanfics · 5 years

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Thank Goodness for Deviant Art

It’s come to my attention that people might not be able to read my chapters after the [Read More] button any more. (At least not on mobile phones, I dunno). I don’t know why this is the case. It works fine for me, even when using Tumblr as a guest, but that might be an IP Address thing. I don’t really know how it works. Either way, from now on, I’m gonna put a link to my chapters on DA, just in case this is a problem you’re experiencing.

But either way, that’s not what I came here to talk about. Instead, I’d like to tell you about the unusually long process it took to write 9 & 10 and where I’m currently at with 11 right now!

(If you can’t read below, a link to this journal is available on DA!)

There’s not too much to say here. Work got the better of me for sure during these sessions for 9 & 10... Since the Fall of 2018, I fell into a routine pattern where my only window for writing became sometimes on Saturdays and Sundays. And if I wasn’t beaten down enough from the work week, I’d probably be working on music instead of this. It took extra ounces of inspiration to get X & Zero through their next steps. I definitely went through the motions, this go around, admittedly, but it all came together by the end. And I do like what became of it.

--------------------------------Ep. 9-------------------------------------------------

This one starts with a much anticipated Dynamo fight, against X this time. I was glad to have Zero stuck in England trying to get home. It allowed breathing room for X to take however long he wanted, without any interference from Zero, who would’ve absolutely wanted a rematch.

At first, I was very stoked about this chapter, and couldn’t wait to write the next sequence in X’s fight against Dynamo. There were a few play-through sessions, where I figured out, how X would attack him. Continuity wise, it was ballsy to have him start this fight with Standard Armor. I liked making the Falcon Armor more of a reflex maneuver than anything else. I was also a fan of the Giga Attack being the equalizer here that gets Dynamo to stop. Showing him sober up from his sociopathic ways, was interesting too. X can’t help but feel bad for him once that battle is over.

And then I was done, lol. The rest of this chapter is unfortunately a long transition to get to the next place, which was X’s stage in the jungle and Zero’s stage with Burn Dino-Rex.

This is what took forever... Going through the World Building and further Seed Planting from there, as we followed up on Gate & Isoc. I wanted to do this earlier, but it didn’t fit. I wanted to do it during the news broadcast of the Enigma firing, but that scene was better suited for Dynamo, who was recovering from his wounds at the time. [It’s fun to put that in perspective. It feels like that was months ago!!]

The Gate & Isoc scene was fun to write. I liked showing that Gate’s been busy trying to rebuild his old reploids. It was more fun to have a follow-up on our villains with a secretive phone call. But then I needed to focus on what was next, and I fell into sort of a trap. Getting Zero home...

I can honestly say it took about 3 weeks to come up with/write out the hacking trick to get Zero home quicker. And even that, I used a writing technique to fast forward that whole process from X’s perspective. This was a risk. It would’ve been neat to see Zero go in hyper warp speed, and add some hilarity to the middle of the chapter, before getting home, but it would’ve taken away from the drama of Lifesaver forcing X to go to sleep. That's where the risk lied in. What was Lifesaver’s motive? This got dark, for a minute. Lifesaver stuck a sedative needle into X’s neck to ensure he’d rest for at least an hour so that he’d be ready for his next mission. Kind of unethical, but it worked. So I explored that, with Zero questioning, while X wakes up in a confused state.

I didn’t want to get lost in this, so I had them leave right away. Then I took a 2nd risk. X was kind of an asshole to Zero as he was waking up, since he never believed in The Repliforce War to begin with. I liked this though. We built up and added towards the already existing animosity between them. They had unresolved business regarding their past actions, that were most likely buried in the past 3 years.

I did my very best to get X & Zero to their designated missions ASAP, but in the end, I think I had like 7 pages to explore their stages before hitting my usual cut-off point.

So I decided, the best road to take was to go down memory lane, on Zero’s part. Maybe we could explain some of his motives and see where he’s coming from. And I’m glad I got to do that. We got to review what Zero remembers of The Repliforce War, and how everything got off track once Dragoon originally investigated Dino-Rex. As far as Zero’s concerned, he’s just tying up the last loose end, here. Finishing what Dragoon failed to do in the first place. But also, he needed that Booster Engine, and one way or another, he was gonna get it.

----------------------------------Ep. 10----------------------------------------------

This takes me back to what I said before. The writing process of this isn’t worth talking about. For a good month, I honestly went through the motions every Saturday. Here and there. Bit by bit, just getting X through the next bit of the stage. Or Zero. Then X. Then Zero.

This got way boring. [This happened during Xtreme 2, too.]

But then I finally caught up to the bosses and it got super exciting again!! I suppose I could say that Zero’s sequences were way better than X’s due to the nature of the stage and what he’s going through. I liked showing Zero experience fear and vulnerability a little bit, while Alia proved her worth with her genius tactics. [Hiding in the shadows of the rocks, through the lava waves]

But then, the fights were interesting. I didn’t wait for Saturdays any more, and definitely finished out Axle the Red’s fight on a weeknight. Sacrificing sleep or together time if need be. One thing I will say about that fight, I really didn’t expect to name Axle’s twin Spike - the appropriate name for the character. That was a neat compromise of an Easter egg that I threw in there at the last minute during the fight, but I really enjoyed that.

Zero didn’t exaaaaactly need an assist from X, but he was very worn out from their battle. And nothing like a good juxtaposition to really show growth, right? I felt like X swooping in and saving the day really solidified their bond and brought their friendship back right where it needs to be, before the next climactic thing.

And that would be where I am right now. Episode 11!! I can’t believe it, but the catch up point to the Battle of Two Fates is finally here. And it was years in the making. I got my blessing from the lady this past Thursday to work on it while her new shows were on, and my Goodness! One thing lead to another, and I started to cook something up pretty sweet out of all the canon dialogue.

Now keep in mind, it is technically in game dialogue, but there's still so much unexplained, like what the characters are actually doing while they’re saying this stuff. Or what they’re exactly feeling. Re-envisioning this makes me see it in a whole new light. But it’s far from done. Just.. in a good spot, right now. That’s all I’ll say.

I can’t wait to work on it more, but this is what I chose to do this Saturday. So maybe I’ll get some time on it tomorrow or during the week. I don't know.

Season V has been a balancing act of making new interesting things out of a game I can’t stand. So inevitably there will be some awesome within the mundane. This happened with Season II as well, but that one was surprisingly solid throughout.

If I can make one prediction, it is that Episode 11 will be Ultra Hyped, and then I’ll probably go through the motions during the Eurasia stages once again. I’m figuring it out though. We’ll see. Until then, folks. I can’t wait to see how Ep. 11 turns out.

#Season V Diaries #Thank Goodness for Deviant Art #Writing Process #Ep. 9 #Ep. 10 #Ep. 11 #new update

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rabidravi · 6 years

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Bump n’ Grind (Hongbin Scenario)

A/N: We keeping the weird ones coming I guess lol. Picture “I Wanna Love You” and “Smack That” by Akon playing jsjs

You couldn’t resist bumpin’ and jammin’ out to the hottest throwbacks as they came on the radio. Of course you ensured you were safe from embarrassment by having your door closed while you bust out your best hoe drops...or so you thought.

Without a single thought, you grabbed the nearest object and grinded on it like no one was watching though evidently, someone was.

Your best friend, Hongbin, came home a little earlier from his study session at the library than neither you nor your roommate, Hyuk, expected.

"Bean! Back already?" Hyuk asked as he watched Hongbin drop his books and bag on the coffee table before slumping down next to him on the couch.

"Yeah, the library was getting kinda crowded so I figured I'd just come back here instead. Is _____ home?"

"Yeah, but you might wanna reconsider going back since ______ has been blasting music for about the last hour and a half. So I doubt you'll find any peace here," Hyuk snorted as he lifted his feet up on the table in front of him and casually slid his headphones back on.

Hongbin sighed as he got up, following the loud muffled noise straight to your room. He placed a hand on the doorknob, turning it slightly and eased your door open with the other, taking a peek. Your raunchy dancing was the first he’d ever seen such an image of you. Unaware, you backed it up all over your desk chair mouthing over the loud song's dirty lyrics with your back facing from the door, preventing you from hearing or seeing it as it opened. Hongbin, mouth slightly agape, studied your vibrant moves on the chair, highly intrigued by how particular you were at sliding against it. He struggled to conceptualize whether this was more embarrassing or strangely arousing.

"Wow I never figured you of all people to be such a perv-"

Hyuk suddenly grabbed Hongbin by his shoulders, nudging him aside to try to catch a glimpse of his view. Caught off guard, Hongbin backed his shoulder into the door causing it to swing wide open before tripping on his own feet trying to regain his balance. You jumped at the sound of the large thud, quickly turning your head to see Hongbin laying face first on your floor.

“Fuc--oh-hey.”

“...hi...did you need something?"

You questioned as nonchalant as possible while slowly, though not so subtly, pushing your chair away from you in hopes of masking the situation though you knew it was useless.

Luckily, Hyuk had already sprinted far away from the scene before you could notice the other, leaving you with just an embarrassed, red faced Hongbin staring at you on your floor. He was ready to apologize and explain himself but you reached for his hand and helped him the rest of the way up.

"You ever heard of knocking?”

"I didn’t mean to sneak or creep up on you or anything. I swear I-"

"-you didn’t see anything...did you?”

“Actually...”

“SWEAR TO ME YOU’LL NEVER SPEAK OF WHAT YOU SAW TO ANYONE. EVER. ESPECIALLY HYUK. FORGET YOU SAW ANYTHING. I BEG YOU. I’LL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE HONGBIN,” you cried as you held on desperately to his hands.

Hongbin on the other hand found it way too funny with how eager you were, he had to have fun with the situation.

“Anything huh? Maybe if you refresh my memory of what it is exactly that I’m supposed to forget again?” he raised his eyebrows eagerly while placing a hand on his chin.

“Hongbin, please.”

“I mean I’m sure others, Hyuk especially, would love to hear about what you like to do when you’re alone in your room...”

“You wouldn’t...”

Hongbin stood firm with his arms crossed and gave you a quick smug shrug.

“You’re such an ass,” you glared at him before slowly beginning to sway your hips rather blase towards Hongbin. He was taken aback by you inching closer to him, his body seeming to tense as your proximity increased. Sensing this, you threw your arms over his shoulders, going at your slow hip gyrations more energetically. You figured it’d be more fun if you dragged Hongbin into your act, hoping the tension would spite him knowing he tended to get shy and uncomfortable with things involving the two of you being super close. Though brushing natural awkwardness aside, he eventually matched himself to the beat with you, escorting his hands onto each side of you.

You were shocked by his confident gesture, "Since when did you dance like this, it’s kinda...a bit..." you couldn’t finish your sentence with the way his eyes stared attentively at yours awaiting an answer.

“A bit...?”

You twirled yourself around so your back faced him, doing so to avoid seeing his reaction.

“...sexy.”

He softly chuckled before wrapping his arms around you, rocking you two back and forth to the music.

“You do know I do more than go to the library whenever I leave the house. But, there might be one person in particular who has inspired me, seeing with what they could do with a chair,” he joked which earned a stomp on his foot from you in return. “OW—ok sorry I won’t mention it again—but this is my first time seeing you like this too.”

“Well aren’t we just the closest best friends,” you joked sarcastically.

Hongbin laughed as he then held you by the waist again bringing you back closer to him, continuing to dance.

With every second the songs built up faster along with the excitement from being within each other’s space. The intensity of it all captured over your body as you proceeded to drop it low on Hongbin but dipping a little too low a little too fast, you managed to bang your head on the arm of the chair in front of you.

"Oh god _____! Are you okay?!"

Hongbin placed his hand on your back as you bent down holding your hand to your head.

"Ugh...I think so. Well that really killed the mood didn’t it," you groaned in pain.

As you got back up and faced Hongbin, he nearly shrieked.

"You’re bleeding!"

In the midst of the panic, you were interrupted by the laughter coming from your door. There stood Hyuk clenching his stomach, pointing his phone up at you two.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAUGHT THAT!"

"Sanghyuk I swear if you don’t delete whatever you’ve just recorded-“

"Are you kidding? This is GOLD. You should be thanking me for having caught this! This has got to go viral.”

Hongbin ignored Hyuk as he pushed his way past him to escort you to his car outside. He held a few tissues to your head in support as Hyuk followed you two behind, phone still in hand. If this wasn’t already an unforgettable night, it sure was now thanks to Hyuk, who probably would never be letting you two forget it anytime soon.

In just an hour you were back home, stitched up. Hongbin, feeling guilty, was persistent on staying by your side from the moment you left the hospital. He was so intent on taking care of you that you had to beg him to relax, reminding him that you were fine and in no way severely injured. You settled on the couch while Hongbin made you both tea to calm both you down.

Hyuk laughing to himself had yet to stop, “I can’t believe that really just happened, also when were you two gonna tell me there was something going on between you guys. Are we not friends/roommates? I should be in on these things. I mean I had my suspicions but the grinding, a pretty big development if you ask me. Very...sexy.” He mocked your voice as he posed seductively.

You chucked the pillow beside you straight at Hyuk causing him to run out the room laughing.

“Maybe we ought to find a new roommate because ONE OF THESE DAYS I SWEAR I’LL COME FOR YOU IN YOUR SLEEP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.”

You sighed as the throbbing pain from your head started up again.

“You should be resting not giving yourself a headache over that idiot. Trust me, I’ll get him to delete everything if it’s the last thing I do.”

Hongbin joined you over on the couch, handing you one of the two mugs for the both of you. You thanked him and quietly sipped your drink in silence for a moment before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Hongbin stared questioningly at you, awaiting an explanation for your sudden outburst.

“Is it normal for best friends to grind with each other the way we did?”

Hongbin paused for a second to think before answering, “Maybe if they’re drunk but otherwise I guess it’s...not?”

“I mean I definitely wasn’t drunk.”

“Neither was I,” Hongbin spoke quick, burying into his cup. “...do you regret doing it?”

“Well as long as the next time I’m far from any sharp or hard objects and Hyuk, I wouldn’t mind doing it again if you ask me.”

#hongbin #lee hongbin #vixx #hongbin scenario #hongbin scenarios #hongbin imagine #hongbin imagines #vixx scenario #vixx scenarios #vixx imagine #vixx imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''on the shore'' by otep

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randomrichards · 4 years

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MOVIES (THAT MIGHT BE) WORTH CHECKING OUT IN JANUARY 2020:

January 3:

THE GRUDGE

We begin with an attempted reboot of the hit horror flick based on another hit horror film.

Based on the Japanese import Ju-On, the film centres around a curse born from a fit of anger that attacks anyone who dares to enter a house. The pale boy ghost and the contorted woman became instantly iconic, especially when they made that crackling sound. Of course, people in North America are more likely to recognize its remake The Grudge. While not on the same level as its predecessor, the American was still a hit. It has become so iconic that there was a crossover movie where it faces off against the ghost from Ringu.

This time, the target is Peter Spencer (John Cho), a real estate agent who intended to sell a house not realizing it contained the title curse. Believing a homicide occurred, Spencer calls on Detective Muldoon (Andrea Risborough) to investigate. But they fail to realize the curse inside dooms all who enter it with a violent and it’s coming for them.

Here’s another of a long list of Horror remakes Hollywood has been peddling in the last decade. For every good one (It, Child’s Play), there are three times as many failures (the recent ones being Pet Semetary and Black Christmas). I’m not having much hope for this one. It can still be good, but it needs a director with as creative a vision as Takashi Shimizu’s.

THREE CHRISTS

Based on The Three Christs of Ypsilanti by Milton Rokeach, Three Christs tells the real-life experiment involving three men who claim to be a certain savior.

In Michigan’s Ypsilanti State Hospital in 1959, Dr. Alan Stone (Richard Gere) conducts a revolutionary experiment where he brings together three men (Peter Dinklage, Walton Goggins and Bradley Whitford) who each claim to be Jesus Christ. He hopes to use this experiment to force them to confront their delusions. It would certainly be preferable to electroshock therapy.

A real-life story like this comes with a lot of potential. But with the director of Fried Green Tomatoes helming this project, it looks like this will be a typical biopic. This is a shame with 4 great actors working together.

January 10:

1917

Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty and Skyfall, takes us back to World War One and hopes to enter the Oscar Race with his latest war movie 1917.

Generla Erinmore (Colin Firth) tasks young British soldiers Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Schofield (George MacKay) with a difficult mission. 1,600 of their fellow soldiers are heading into a fatal trap and the two soldiers must deliver a message calling off the raid before tomorrow morning. And one of them is Blake’s brother. Racing against time, Blake and Schofield are forced to rush through enemy territory to deliver the message on time. Benedict Cumberbatch also

The film is already garnering high praise for its gripping suspense and graceful camera. It’s already garnering nominations at the Golden Globe Awards for Best Dramatic Motion Picture, Best Director and Best Original Score. It’s especially getting praise is how it makes the film look like one long camera shot following the two leads through their mission.

CHHAPAAK

All the way from India is a film inspired by real life acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarwal.

This film looks at Malti (Deepika Padukone), a woman horribly scared after an acid attack. The film follows her through her physical treatment and eventual trial. It looks like the core of the film will be her journey of emotional healing, regaining her self-worth with the help of loved ones.

Unless you know films that show Bollywood movies, I suspect this film will be hard to find for many people. Kind of a shame

JUST MERCY

Writer/Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12) brings ups the real-life story of a lawyer who battled systemic racism to free an innocent man.

Harvard graduate Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) heads to 1980s Alabama to assist advocate Eva Ansley (Brie Larson) to defend those wrongfully convicted. His first and most important case is Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx), who was sentenced to death for the notorious murder of an 18-year-old girl despite evidence proving his innocence including a group of people who could vouch for him.

As Stevenson works prove McMillian’s innocence and those of other death row inmates, he faces up against an uncaring political maneuvers and systemic racism. But neither he nor Ansley will let this stop them.

Audiences love and underdog story and this one is sure to satisfy, especially with Jordan, Larson and Foxx starring in the film. It’s also sure to offer some catharsis for those frustrated with current systemic racism. But this could by a typical biopic forgotten by the end of the year.

January 17:

BAD BOYS FOR LIFE

I’m going to be brief because I don’t think we’re going to get anything special from this movie. This film is pretty much a checkmark of every plot element you see in every Buddy Cop movie. Cop considering retiring. Check. One last job? Check. Training arrogant young upstarts? Check. A forever disapproving superior throwing a tantrum of our heroes. Check. It doesn’t matter how flashy the trailer is, a cliché is a cliché.

But then again, the original two film were also piling of buddy cop clichés. The only thing they had going for them was Will Smith’s charisma and Martin Lawrence’s over the top delivery. Only the second movie was memorable thanks to some well shot, over the top action scenes. But I highly doubt this one will be memorable when Michael Bay has backed out of the film.

We don’t really need another Bad Boys movie, especially when we have the Fast and Furious series and the John Wick movies.

DOLITTLE

The famous physician who can talk to animals returns in a new reboot. This time the Doc is played by Robert Downey Jr, fresh from retiring his iconic role of Tony Stark after 10 years. It also looks like it will be going back to its roots as a fantasy story set in the Victorian era. There’s not much plot summary to go on, but judging by the trailer, it will have him setting sail on an adventure alongside his animal friends. At the core of the film seems to be his friendship with two kills. Also, among the cast are Jessie Buckley as Queen Victoria and Antonio Banderas as a pirate.

There is an all-star cast voicing the animals, including Tom Holland, Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes and Rami Malek just to name a few.

This film seems to rest its shoulders on Robert Downey Jr, hoping his charm will do for Dr. Doolittle what he did for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the film lives and dies on writer/director Stephen Gaghan, who is an unusual choice for a family fantasy considering that his resume consists of gritty war movies like Syriana, Traffic and Rules Engagement and crime drama tv shows like The Practice and NYPD Blue. He’s even written for the video game Call of Duty: Ghosts. It’s strange that someone with this resume would be chosen to reboot this franchise. It’s especially risky considering the original attempts to adapt Hugh Lofting books for the big screen. But if Martin Scorsese can make Hugo, there’s a chance Gaghan can make Dolittle work

The first one was a musical that tried to bank on the Sound of Music’s success but was an epic flop. It didn’t help that lead actor Rex Harrison was a notoriously difficult drunk who couldn’t sing. In fact, his behind the scenes shenanigans were way more interesting than the actual movie as proved by Mark Harris’ non-fiction book Pictures at a Revolution. Decades later, 20th Century Fox reboots the franchise was a hit thanks to Eddie Murphy as the title character and a variety of comedic voice actors (especially Albert Brooks, Chris Rock and Norm McDonald) voices the animals. No matter the quality, there’s a weight of nostalgia for both movies with many people growing up with these movies. This film will face the challenge of pushing past the nostalgia.

WEATHERING WITH YOU

From beloved anime writer/director Makoto Shinkai comes another romantic fantasy about two teens.

Teenage boy Hodoka (voiced by Kotaro Daigo) runs away from his isolated island home for Tokyo. Homeless and desperate, Hodoka takes a job as an assistant for journalist Keisuke Suga (Sun Oguri). His job involves finding “The Sunshine Girl”, a local teen girl who can control the weather. He soon finds her in Hina Amano (Nana Mori), a cheerful teen girl living with her brother. He is in awe with her power when she freezes the rain and love soon sparks. But messing with nature comes with a price and soon Hodoka and Hina are fighting to stay together.

Of all the movies on this list, this is the one I’m most excited to see. Once I saw his recent his Your Name, I was in pure awe. Never has a sunset looked more beautiful than in Shinkai’s anime. Every environment in Shinkai’s films enchant you with their vibrant colours and stunning details. Just as beautiful are his fantastical stories of young people growing up. At the core of each story is teens in love kept apart by unusual circumstances, whether it’s distance or time or even being in each other ‘s bodies.

This film’s already a major hit in Japan, which is very encouraging for anime fans.

January 24:

COLOR OUT OF SPACE

And now for something a little weird.

Nathan Gardner (Nicholas Cage) has moved his family to a remote farm to escape city life and live a life of peace and quiet. Then God was like “LOL No!” and sends an asteroid down their way. Then weird shit starts happening, most with colours mutating everything.

With a crew like this, you know you’re getting into some crazy shit. First, the film is based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, the inventor of cosmic horror and the man who gave us Cthulhu. Then there’s co-writer/director Richard Stanley, known for his odd genre flicks including Hardware and Dust Devil.[i] And then there’s Nicholas Cage, whose as well known for his scenery chewing Kabuki acting as his acclaimed Oscar-nominated roles. Last year, writer/director Panos Cosmatos found perfect use of Cage’s Kabuki acting in the ultra-stylized revenge masterpiece Mandy. Let’s be honest, the only types of films Cage’s Kabuki acting can work are either stylized, unintentionally hilarious or tongue-in-cheek. With the producers of Mandy working on this film, there’s high hopes it will be deliver on the stylized goods.

THE GENTLEMEN

After remaking Aladdin (and making lots of money in the process), director/writer Guy Ritchie returns to his roots with his latest English crime comedy The Gentlemen.

From what I can gather, the films about an American Pot Dealer (Matthew McConaughey) who plans to sell off his Empire in London when a young gang led by Dry Eye (Henry Golding) starts a drug war. There’s not much plot to go on, but with a Guy Ritchie movie, the plot will be way too complicated to explain. What is guaranteed is that there will be lots of oddball gangsters with weird names, hilarious and gruesome deaths and shit blowing up.

The film features an all-star cast including Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant continuing his streak of getting his groove back by playing against type.

So far, Ritchie hasn’t made a film that’s reached the same level as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch. For the most part, he has been unsuccessful stepping out of his comfort zone. Here’s hoping The Gentleman will bring his back on his A Game.

THE TURNING

This day concludes with a modern take of Henry James’ classic novella The Turn of the Screw.

Kate (Mackenzie Davis) is hired as a governess for care for her boss’s orphaned niece Flora (Brooklyn Prince) and nephew Miles (Finn Wolfhard). But as she cares for them in a secluded mansion, she comes to realize they are being haunted by hostile spirits. Can she protect them for what lies in the mansion?

The film has been remade multiple times, with the most acclaimed one being the 1961 classic The Innocents. This once changes it up by setting it in current times, with a notable scene of Miles creeping Kate out with drums. The film also gives some Conjuring vibes, especially with its cinematography. But it should be noted that similarity doesn’t equal copying and there could be some unique elements in this film.

There certainly is a good chance with director Floria Sigismondi will offer a unique vision. She has already directed episodes of stylized shows like The Handmaid’s Tale, Daredevil and American Gods, but she’s already well known for her stylized directing from her work in music videos. Since Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People”, dilating, jittery camera work has become her trademark, working alongside artists including David Bowie, Bjork, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake (just to name a few).

January 27:

BEANPOLE

Here’s the film Russia hopes will be nominated for Best Foreign Language film.

Set in Leningrad in 1945, Beanpole centres on Masha (Vasilisa Perelygina) and Iya (Viktoria Miroshnichenko) struggling to trying to rebuild their lives in the ruins of a city demolished by war. At the core of film is the infertile Masha hiring Iya as a surrogate mother.

There’s not much go on, but with the film winning Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival, there’s good prospects for this film. It seems to be a character drama like Roma. Here’s hoping this film’s as quietly engaging as Alfonso Cuaron’s masterpiece.

January 31

THE TRAITOR

We conclude this with an Italian biopic about Tommaso Buscetta, the first Mafia Informant in 1980’s Sicily.

Tommaso (Pierfrancesco Favino) was a member of the Cosa Nostra. Then in 1983, half of his family is killed in a gang war. Now he intends to make them pay using the arm of the law. He knows the mob will do whatever it takes to stop him, but he’s more determined than ever. But as the trials continue, Tommaso will show the rabbit hole goes deeper than the law expected with political figures in the mafia’s pockets.

This is another film that may fall by the wayside, which is a shame because this film seems like a great biopic. It could certainly give overdue attention for director/co-writer Marco Bellocchio, who has remained a criminally overlooked director despite making acclaimed movies since the 1960s.

[i] And being fired from the Brando version of Island of Dr. Monroe.

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adamthepastryguy · 5 years

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So my Harry Potter themed Afternoon Tea has come and gone. The most immersive and most expensive Tea i have done to date. It took the longest to prepare for the decor and foods and hopefully is the most elaborate to date.

I visited the Harry Potter Studio tour on Thursday for the 1st time and did pick up some wizarding world items to enhance the Tea for the sweets challenge. The props alone for this Tea have made it the most expensive to date and find how much at the end of the blog.

Just like the films it takes many people to make it all happen, and would like to thanks my parents and also partner for their help in the decor and filming on the day. It took most of the 2nd half of the week to do the decor, prepare the props and plan, shop and bake/prepare the treats on offer.

The Tea has been in the planning for over a year, but on paper mainly, since i was visiting the Studio Tour the same week i decided to end the week with the Tea.

I searched the internet and many of Pinterest posts for inspiration for treats and foods to make alongside my original ideas. I have never read the books but seen the films. A lot of the references i found came from the books and small snippets from the movies. I wrote them all down and done a shortlist and came up with my menu. I was happy with all i did but you always want more. I ran out of space on the table I need a long banquet table !

SETTING THE SCENE

Whilst planning i came up with the name Platform 9 Tea/4 as my backdrop was to be the Hogwarts Express. I already had a trolley from my market stalls so used that with some loaded up luggage to set the scene I wanted a cage for Hedwig but knew it would be a waste getting it for a one off, so found an adorable but expensive Hedwig from Platform 9 3/4 shop online for £35 originally £45 and the biggest one they make and exclusive to the shop also. The backdrop came from Ebay as per my others.

I saw the Hogwarts letter pack in Sainsburys and decided to make my own Acceptance letters and also brought a wax sealer online and made 20 to hang on a wall to set the scene further. I made some floating Candles from hot glue and Paper towel holders and tealights and hung from the ceiling. These were all hung with invisible thread so did indeed appear to be floating besides the obvious sellotape mark on the ceiling.

I had the idea also to have Hogwarts on the table and that came in 3d puzzle form. I was lucky to win 2 auctions on eBay hoping all the pieces were there! it took me 5 days to complete both of them myself and 1 piece was missing. I paired them with my Lego like Harry Potter Mini figures and think they went great together even if the scale is somewhat out lol. I had imagined this in the centre of the table and cake stands on each end, but was naive and it had to go at the far end of the table but looked good anyway.

SORTING HAT

I do have one of the original talking sorting Hats but it doesn’t work, i saw Argos had a sale on the new version for £17.49 i got it as they are usually £40+ within a week or so it was back to normal price so glad i got it. I used it as a prop and to sort everyone into their Houses before we begun the Tea.

THE TEA

I was lucky to get hold of the Harry potter Teapots, 1 from Primark and 1 from eBay( from primark) and the House crest Mugs these were all reasonable compared to most around. I found a Round Marauders map Beach towel ( yes round) i used as a tablecloth with my Black cloth underneath. I knew i wanted a Birdcage cake stand for the Tea and found one on Amazon using my vouchers i got 2 and £30 off. I did not try my plates on it and last minute figured the big plates would not fit, so had to use the side plates as the stand plates and big plates as our plates to eat off

I just had a choice of Loose leaf plain Tea and regular Tea for this Tea.

MUSIC

My Dad is the sound man and he had the Harry Potter Soundtrack from the films playing in the Background which created some ambiance.

THE FOOD

After gathering references and ideas it took 3 days plus of preparation to make it all happen with all the sweets and savories enough to feed Dumbledoores army!

The savouries

For the Sandwiches i made Endless Bacon , Corned Beef ( Ron’s least favourite) and Chicken & Ham

Cheese wand Scones

Pumpkin Pasties – These are mentioned as being eaten on the Hogwarts express and no mention of sweet or savoury, a lot of recipes made them Pumpkin Pie type fillings. I saw some savoury i made mine into Curried Pumpkin which were really nice.

Mini Steak Pies

THE SWEET STUFF

Their was endless possibilities for sweet items and i whittled it down to several, haa i still had loads.

Golden Snitch Cake ball Truffles – Sprayed gold and complete with Rice paper wings.

Treacle Tarts – Harry`s favorite apparently who knew?

Hagrids Rock Cakes – A definite improvement on Hagrids version these mini Rock cakes were great.

Harry`s Birthday Cake – I made a small Vegan Chocolate Cake complete with Strawberry Pink icing and a rustic message ” Happee Birthdae Harry” with the crack down the middle.

Lemon Sherbet Eclairs – Filled with Vanilla Cream and topped with Lemon Sherbet icing and crumbled Sherbet sweets dust.

ButterBeer mini Cupcakes – If you have never had Butter beer it is a cross between a cream soda and Butterscotch topped with a cream like top layer. To replicate this i made a Butterscotch flavour sponge topped with Butterscotch buttercream and coloured yellow.

Chocolate Frogs– right from the start on the Train these were a definite to add to the Tea. I made my own in some moulds with Rice Crispies/Coco pops pieces inside. typically they contain a Holographic wizard Cards in their boxes.

Philosophers Scones – Love the name i found online. I topped my Scones with a lightening scar for added effect.

I recorded the Tea live, but much to my horror afterwards found once the tablet fell the sound had cut out after 9 mins!

Luckily my partner had made his own videos and i borrowed them from him allowing the whole thing to be relived in short clips. I always film them via Facebook live and with a new tripods thought this would be okay. Tripod needs sorting out for next time seemed to be top heavy with my tablet resting on it. Happy with the combined footage

SWEETS CHALLENGE

As part of the Tea i wanted to have a Bertie Botts sweet challenge afterwards ( The disgusting flavours) and also take the chance to try some other Harry Potter inspired Sweets. I got from Universal studios the original Frog and the studio tour here i got the rest of the Honeydukes Sweets and around other places. I looked at reviews of some and picked the ones which got the best scores. Some for what they was i left. I was lucky to get some cheap and discounted in Tkmaxx in a hamper bundle for £5

The sweets i got were

Chocolate Frog in Box – Universal Studios Orlando

Chocolate Frog packs x2 – Chocolate & Puffed Rice Pieces

Fizzing whizzbees

Peppermint Toads

Exploding Bon Bons Orange & Pineapple

Bertie Botts every flavour Bean

Jelly Slugs

Gringotts Chocolate Coins

Lemon Sherbets

SO HOW WAS THEY?

The Bertie Botts Bean challenge we picked 3 Beans each and from the reactions we all got mostly disgusting ones. I got Grass and Toothpaste which tasted like deep heat lol. I mixed them in with Bean Boozled which have nice and nasty flavours.

The Chocolate frog in box from the states is Big and fills the box but however is American Chocolate! so could not eat much of that for it is not the best eating Chocolate.

The Puffed Rice Chocolate frog with Cards were also not that great and i could not believe the size of them once opened compared to the size of the packet. Disgraceful for the price.

The Exploding Pineapple & Orange Bonbons in White Chocolate were very nice but not much fizz with the Popping Candy for any of us.

Fizzing whizzbees – I liked the Chocolate shaped like Bees but again not much of a whizz or Fizz, think it must have flown away.

Mint Chocolate Toads – Dark Chocolate and extremely strong Mint taste, okay but a bit overpowering for most of us.

Jelly slugs- various flavours and small little Chewy gummy sweets these were okay.

Gringotts Chocolate Coins – Come in a little sack with an emblem on it, the Chocolate was okay on these a novelty more than anything.

Lemon sherbets – i got these from Tesco they are nice just plain Sherbets

These sweets were interesting to try but expensive for what you get

Fizzing Whizzbees £8

Peppermint Toads £5

Frogs packs £4.50

jelly beans packs £3-4 each

Sherbets – available anywhere really from £1 or less

Explosing BonBons £8

Jelly Slugs £3-4 a pack

Chocolate frog in Box £8-10

It was an eventful evening and after such a lot of planning it came to an end. I invited my work colleague and friend Sharon to participate in the Tea rather than watch it from fb live. Hope she enjoyed her time on Platform 9 tea/4 and she went home with a goodie bag of treats and souvenirs.

This was the most expensive tea i have done in the 2 years i have been doing this project for fun. it came in at the cost of WAIT FOR IT! £356.30

The cost of food was low compared to the Props, Teaware and other items that made this whole Tea what it was. Of course i have the props and plushies to keep for another time. Some i will sell on the things i do not need to keep. The rest will stay for the return to Hogwarts one day.

My Platform 9 Tea/4 Harry Potter theme Afternoon Tea – behind the scenes So my Harry Potter themed Afternoon Tea has come and gone. The most immersive and most expensive Tea i have done to date.

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lolsexonthebeach · 6 years

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My girlfriend wanted me to do these and also I really wanted to do these

1. Coffee or tea?

Usually coffee, but I won’t say no to green tea. Like, ever.

2. Black and white or color?

Used to be black and white but I’m starting to like colors again. Oh my god, I sound like a really cringy goth kid.

3. Drawings or paintings?

Drawings. I loved whenever my girlfriend would sketch things on our coffee dates.

4. Dresses or skirts?

Dresses. Love love love when @organiclavender wears dresses :)

5. Books or movies?

Honestly, books more recently. I haven’t seen a good movie in awhile.

6. Pepsi or Coke?

Pepsi, I drank enough coke as a child to make a 500lb McDonald’s frequenter gasp.

7. Chinese or Italian?

This is a very evil question. I guess Chinese, I feel like it’s easier to find a hole-in-the-wall place serving bomb Chinese than it is to find a decent Italian restaurant that sells something other than Spaghetti and one meatball.

8. Early bird or night owl?

Is it possible to be both? Kinda like waking up early now, but I love midnight silence.

9. Chocolate or vanilla?

That’s racist.

10. Introvert or extrovert?

I am an introvert that pretends to be extroverted so he can pet people’s cats and play their musical instruments

11. Hugs or kisses?

Kisses. Always kisses.

12. Hunting or fishing?

This is probably a typical answer, but I really don’t like the idea of murdering something helpless for fun (Even though I fucking love guns lmao). Fishing is probably not much less cruel, but it’s so relaxing, man.

13. Winter or summer?

Well, summer rhymes with bummer.

Nah. Love the cold.

14. Spring or fall?

Fall. Such a spooky season.

15. Rural or urban?

It really depends on where lol. I love getting lost in the woods, but there’s no Wi-Fi out there lmao

16. PC or Mac?

Macs are literally overpriced Linux computers that take everything good about Linux and throw it the fuck away.

17. Tan or pale?

Pale <3

18. Cake or pie?

I will eat the FUCK out of some pecan pie.

19. Ice cream or yogurt?

I’m not an annoying hipster that lies about enjoying fermented milk so iced cream for me

20. Ketchup or mustard?

Ketchup, but mustard is growing on me lately. Like, go get some spicy brown mustard from Walmart and put that shit on a sandwich with pepper jack and roast beef and tell me there’s not a God.

21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles?

Sweet pickles are the 2nd most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. The first is my brother’s penis. What was weirder was finding out that he wasn’t really my brother.

22. Comedy or mystery?

I feel like most comedies these days are different iterations of “WEIRD SEX SCENES AND AFFAIRS AND ALSO HERE’S SOME BOOBS” so mystery

23. Boots or sandals?

Well, if Doc Marten made some flippy flops... Nah, boots.

24. Silver or gold?

Silver. Looks way classier to me for some reason.

25. Pop or Rock?

DEATH METAL

26. Dancing or singing?

I can’t do either, I’m a white boy.

27. Checkers or chess?

My girlfriend will attest to the fact that I used to literally stay awake for hours playing chess on my phone

28. Board games or video games?

I love the videa.

29. Wine or beer?

I am answering this question with a hangover. Please die.

30. Freckles or dimples?

Both will equally melt my heart.

31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce?

I live in Texas, so BBQ sawz

32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights?

Weights. I notice better results doing shit with dumbbells and stuff than I do just doing pushups and shit.

33. Baseball or basketball?

I refer you to the answer of question 26.

34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus?

Do I look like a 40 year old wife that likes to disturb her husband’s peace in the morning

35. Facial hair or clean shaven?

I assume this is asking about on other people, but facial hair if I’m trying to go to a bar and I don’t feel like getting carded, clean shaven if I want some love from @organiclavender

36. Crushed ice or cubed ice?

Ice^3

37. Skiing or snowboarding?

Snowboarding.

38. Smile or game face?

I usually try to smile but apparently I have resting bitch face a lot

39. Bracelet or necklace?

I’ll rock both, yo.

40. Fruit or vegetables?

Both, my girlfriend has been forcing me to eat healthier and omg I’m actually starting to like things that aren’t baked in an asbestos lined oven with ingredients grown from failed cloning experiments and formaldehyde

41. Sausage or bacon?

Bausage.

42. Scrambled or fried?

This is a tough one. As long as there’s a shit ton of cheese somewhere in there, I’ll eat either.

43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate?

Darkolate.

44. Tattoos or piercings?

Have both, want more of both. I seriously miss my nose ring.

45. Antique or brand new?

Antique, but my girlfriend is scared of old things because she won’t stop watching Paranormal Survivor.

46. Dress up or dress down?

I have no idea what this means. I clearly am not the target demographic of this questionnaire.

47. Cowboys or aliens?

I was going to say both, but then I remembered it’s that kind of thinking that made Cowboys and Aliens with Daniel CRAYGE happen.

48. Cats or dogs?

I love woofers but I absolutely adore cats.

49. Pancakes or waffles?

Fucking WAFFLES.

50. Bond or Bourne?

I’ve been a Bond fan since I was old enough to be sentient

51. Sci-Fi or fantasy?

Both. Massive Sci-Fi fan but I love anything to do with fantasy things.

52. Numbers or letters?

Symbols!

53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

LORD OF THE POTTER

54. Fair or theme park?

I love fairs. There’s always a hint of “holy shit I might die” that just adds to the rickety experience of riding a roller coaster set up in literally a day.

55. Money or fame?

Money. I’d much rather buy people shit than sign autographs.

56. Washing dishes or doing laundry?

Neither. Shit is so lame. Hate both equally.

57. Snakes or sharks?

Sneks r cool

58. Orange juice or apple juice?

Apple Juice. I’ve been craving some since I woke up.

59. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunset.

60. Slacker or over-achiever?

I have bursts of both, which likely means I have some kind of serious mental disorder

61. Pen or pencil?

Pens. There’s a weird quality to ink that I’ve always loved.

62. Peanut butter or jelly?

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who ate straight jelly lmao

63. Grammys or Oscars?

Do I look like a bored, lonely housewife?

64. Detailed or abstract?

Both. Absolutely both.

65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions?

When I didn’t entirely hate school, I loved essay questions. Multiple choice is now my favorite.

66. Adventurous or cautious?

Literally both.

67. Saver or spender?

I’m both lol. Sometimes I won’t spend a dime and then other times I’ll buy some fucking copper silverware on amazon because “It looks cool”.

68. Glasses or contacts?

Depends on the person. I think my girlfriend looks adorable in hers, I can’t seem to have them without shattering them.

69. Laptop or desktop?

Desktop.

70. Classic or modern?

Classic.

71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer?

I would literally kill for someone to get me off of my ass and into a gym more often.

72. Internet or cell phone?

I feel like those two are synonymous now.

73. Call or text?

If it’s my girlfriend, call. If it’s literally anyone else, text.

74. Curly hair or straight hair?

I think girls with curly hair are the absolute cutest thing ever.

75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening?

Evening showers make me happy.

76. Spicy or mild?

I will forever shovel spicy things in my mouth until my stomach screams at me and I need to throw up on the poor waitress asking me if I’m okay.

77. Marvel or DC?

I am weirdly not into comics.

78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent?

Dude, if I could afford a house in any possible way, there’s no way in hell I would ever live in an apartment again.

79. Sky dive or bungee jump?

I really wanna sky dive. Loved bungee jumping.

80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy?

WHAT IF THEY MADE BOTH

81. Jello or pudding?

Pudding

82. Truth or dare?

You’re not even trying anymore.

83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel?

Roller coaster!

84. Leather or denim?

I rock both yo.

85. Stripes or solids?

SOLIDS

86. Bagels or muffins?

Bagels, omfg. I’m like craving a garlic and poppy seed bagel right now. Wiff some creme chez.

87. Whole wheat or white?

My girlfriend hates me so I’m not allowed to eat white bread anymore.

88. Beads or pearls?

ANAL BEADS

89. Hardwood or carpet?

Hardwood. I finally moved into an apartment with wood floors and omg it’s so nice. Only thing that sucks is when it’s cold you mos def need socks.

90. Bright colors or neutral tones?

Neutral. I like colors too, I’m just a weird goth boy.

91. Be older than you are or younger than you are?

Older, with a job that doesn’t suck. I wanna be out of college.

92. Raisins or nuts?

Raisins are gross. I love cashews tho

93. Picnic or nice restaurant?

Nice restaurant. One of my favorite dates with my girlfriend is finding cool nice places to grab some food at :)

94. Black leather or brown leather?

Black ‘till I die.

95. Long hair or short hair?

Both. I’m not picky :)

96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”?

I’m imaging the second choice is what half of the dudes at the range I used to go to into Austin took.

97. Fiction or non-fiction?

Fiction. Non-Fiction is boring.

98. Smoking or non-smoking?

I’m not allowed to smoke anymore.

:’(

99. Think before you talk or talk before you think?

I definitely do both.

100. Asking questions or answering questions?

Both yo!

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thefemalehustler · 7 years

Photo

#DJFOCUS INTERVIEW DJ FAB ROC & DJ MISS MILAN

I recently caught up with two of the most in demand female DJ’s on the New York music scene right now and a chat to find out how they first got started!

Hey ladies, first of all I wanted to start by getting to know some more about your background, are you both originally born and raised in New York? If so where specifically?

Fab: I'm from NY, was born in Manhattan and lived in Queens for a few years before moving to Rockland County.

Milan: Yes I am from New York, born in Brooklyn and raised in Queens.

How has where you grew up influenced your musical tastes?

F: I'm Haitian, so a lot of my growing up music was Caribbean as well as classic R&B, Jazz, I was also a z100 kid - I didn't get into Hip Hop until middle school years, therefore I have a lot of rock/soft rock and pop influence in my taste of music.

M: I come from a Caribbean / Bajan background, so growing up I was always listening to all types of music from Reggae and Soca to Hip Hop and Jazz, everything was played in my house.

Have you always wanted to become a DJ or did you have plans to fulfil other career paths in music / other fields?

M: Growing up I created a girl group and thought we were going to be the next Destiny's Child lol, but singing and dancing is something that I’ve always been apart of musically, it wasn’t until I got older and wanted to do something different but still in the music lane is when I wanted to become a DJ.

F: Nope! I grew up watching my cousin make a living from being a DJ but he was based in Miami. My Dad was in the music and entertainment industry and a career through that path was never really encouraged by my parents. Less than 2-years ago is when I decided to look into it, then I started taking classes and next thing you know I was full swing into DJing. It was one of those things I wish I started so much earlier but truly believe it's meant for me.

Are you lucky enough to be able to DJ full time or are you also currently juggling a day grind if so how hard do you find it balancing the two?

F: Not yet - hopefully soon. My day-grind thankfully is aligned with the industry so it's not too bad. I plan events and market a downtown venue in NYC, where I get to do the programming and book events for the venue.

M: I wouldn't say lucky, more so blessed, really having the determination, discipline & working smart towards my dreams caused me to be able to live the life that I do. Not to say having a 9-5 to help with your goals and dreams isn't an option, I just know myself and what I'm capable of doing to fit my standard of success.

What was your first DJ booking experience like?

F: I was terrified. A friend let me open for his birthday and I remember wanting to throw up before I started. Those jitters went away quick.

M: My very first booking was a baby shower and I had to play for 6 hours. I remember being excited because I was taking lessons and really practicing so to get a booking for that long was dope to me. The next day I got booked to DJ at Starlets which at the time was growing into Queens most popular strip club and I was more nervous to play there for an hour but ended up doing pretty good my first time.

With so many talented DJ's on the New York music scene how do you set yourself apart from the rest to continue to guarantee being booked for events regularly? Is it a difficult scene to be on?

M: I just really focus on me and what it is that I bring to the turntables, I genuinely enjoy what I do so its never forced or faked and I do believe that it shows each time I perform. My style isn't just dropping records, I'm here to really perform and give you all a show.

F: Yes and no. I pride myself on talent, song selection, and my personality. I strive to give people a musical journey. I'm not pressed on what time I play - it's all important to me. I try to select music that triggers past memories, emotions, and shit that you haven't heard in a minute and forgot about. I try to give that "wow" factor with my selections.

Milan you have regular residency every Sunday at Arlo Hotels in the city for their Champagne Sunday's, tell us a bit about that, how did that come about?

My manager Chanel actually got me that booking. Each Sunday during the summer I'll be spinning at Arlo Hotel Rooftop located in Soho, brunch is served from 1-4 along with some dope vibes provided by me. I'm able to play any and everything because the crowd is so diverse and just want to have a great time.

Fab you recently got to spend your birthday in Bermuda and to top it off DJ there, how was that experience for you?

It was amazing. Being able to travel to a new country and also play for a new group of people was really a blessing and the best way to spend my birthday. I don't consider it work since I love it. I also got to connect with locals and see what music they're listening to, new artists coming up, etc.

Milan you featured as a special guest DJ on Charlamagne's MTV2 show 'Uncommon Sense' how did that opportunity come about and did it open up a lot of doors in terms of demand in bookings after?

Thanks to a good friend and mentor Taxstone, he was able to put in a good word for me and thought as well that it would be a dope look. I mean it definitely put me in a good spotlight but being asked to come back again for a second time meant I knew that I was doing something right when the crowd and producers really enjoyed my energy and set.

Fab you have a podcast called 'Last Call' can you tell us about that, are there any episodes coming up soon we should look out for?

A friend actually started this podcast and asked me to be a voice on it. We've been recording just short of a year now so it's been a great tool for me to get used to speaking with and to people on a platform. Some past episodes that are my favourite are the ones with Tracy G, Chris Goins, and Jonathan form Blavity.

Both of you get booked fairly often to DJ at events on the same line up together in particular at Kim Chanel and Junae Brown's events, what would you say has been one of your favourite events you have DJ'd at together?

F: I think my favourite event we've both been on was the Loud Speaker Network Holiday party. I opened for Milan and the room was activated. She went on and took it into a Southern direction and killed it. It was also a chill vibe where people were kicking it.

M: The energy of Kim & Junae’s events are always on 100% and I enjoy listening to Fab play when I do catch her spinning.

What would you consider your biggest moment of DJ career so far?

F: I was fortunate enough to be featured in Essence Magazine twice. One of them the Obama's were on the cover. That moment I still don't think I've fully processed.

M: My biggest moment of my DJ career so far would be being on T.V and being able to say I did a tour so far with the 4 Lovers Only Tour I recently was just on.

Have either of you had your own show on a radio station before? Is being a DJ on air something that would be of interest to you?

F: Honestly I wouldn't mind -- radio has so much politics though as far as what you can/cannot play. I think satellite is the way to go like Beats One. Having a show like Soulection would be TIGHT.

M: Not on a actual FM station but as far as internet radio yes, a good friend of mine DJ Ernz & myself once hosted a weekly music segment. In my DJ career I wouldn't mind doing it to say I did it but it isn't something that is always a must.

If you could DJ for any artist and go on tour as their official DJ, one being a major international artist and the other being an independent artist who would they be?

F: Rihanna. Sza... as far as independent, Mike Classic.

M: Of course Beyonce, Rihanna or Sza because I'm all of them in one form lol, I dig their music, message and boss ass chick mentality so for sure my top three. Independent artist, my girl Connie Diiamond is a artist that needs to be watched because her music, style and creativity is gonna blow people away. I'm already her DJ so thats one out of two lol.

Where has been your favourite city or country to DJ so far and where is on your list to go? Hopefully we can see you in London some time soon!

M: That would have to be LA & ATL so far, they really gave me so much love and energy. Yes international bookings are up next, the only one I've done so far was Bermuda but definitely need to come to UK and make it happen!

F: I would love to go to London - just say the word!! haha I DJ'ed Austin and that was fun... I still have a lot more work to do but I'd love to do North Cali, Miami, Haiti, Paris, and Spain would be fun!

Finally tell us what you have coming up, any events that people should check you out at etc!

F: Follow me on bandsintown.com/FabRoc or my website fabrocpresents.com and all my gigs are posted there... outside of NYC I'll be in Tallahassee for FAMU Homecoming on Oct 13th. For NYC - Camp Ryan pool party on July 23 Sound & Vibes with DJ Enuff on August 12 and a few other gigs in between :)

M: Definitely head over to DJMissMilan.com and stay tuned for more of #TheMilanExperience!

Make sure you follow the ladies on social media:

Twitter and IG: @Fab_Roc_ / @djmissmilan

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a-lbeit · 7 years

Text

may 2017 faves

amazon student film screenings: a couple weeks ago, i saw an ad on the sidebar of facebook claiming that i could go see movies for free via this sort of crowdfunding scheme called ourscreen. i, of course, clicked on it because i love being in a movie theater environment and i love free things–although i wasn’t too sure about the credibility of this ad. but i went to the site anyway, and evidently, amazon student has a partnership called “amazon student big screen” with this site, where any student can see complimentarily the films being shown at various theaters throughout london. when i saw the ad, there were three showings in the coming weeks: pulp fiction, moonlight, and baywatch. i had never seen any of these (well, obviously i hadn’t seen baywatch, since it hadn’t come out yet, but you know what i mean), and i was so enthralled with this idea. the screenings have to have a couple hundred people sign up for them, but that happens easily. i was only able to sign up for the pulp fiction screening because i already had plans for the nights of the other two, but man, am i glad i was able to be a part of this scheme at all. if you’re an amazon student member, you even get free popcorn and a drink at the theater. if i was only able to see one of the three listed, i’m glad it was pulp fiction, as i had never seen it before and it’s obviously revered. to see it (as a film that’s a couple decades old, so not so often shown on the silver screen) in a theater as your first viewing is really spectacular in an age when i otherwise most likely would have watched it on a 12 inch laptop screen. it was also interesting, if nothing else, to be completely amongst people my own age–even though i saw a couple of flashes going off throughout the film because a few people just had to share with their friends their “cultural enlightenment” of seeing a goddamn movie, including a flash from the phone of the guy sitting next to me, it was all right; it didn’t affect my experience too much. unfortunately, no other screenings have been made, but i sincerely hope there will be another one i can attend before leaving london.

paul simon: i listened to “you can call me al” because i didn’t know it that well and i had always thought it sounded like “jump” by van halen--so i wanted to fully be able to distinguish between the two (sorry about the ignorance). i don’t think that anymore, since i now know both of the tracks pretty well, but after that, i just got to listening to the rest of the graceland album. i haven’t really listened to his other albums (lol) but i’ve been appreciating his style of singing a lot over the past month--take the line in “diamonds on the soles of her shoes” where he says “the poor boy changes clothes and puts on aftershave/ to compensate for his ordinary shoes.” simon makes his lyrics sound very conversational and natural, which is not a common trait for singers to have. also, his use of worldbeat is quite nice to listen to. he’s just got a really nice overall sound.

harry styles: i (like everyone else) really appreciate the direction that harry styles has gone in over the past year. the clothing, the attitude, the mannerisms, the music. i would say that i’m more of a fan of him as a person than as a musician, but i certainly do like the music he’s put out. is his album the greatest one ever made? no, but nothing is. it’s a great first album and i am absolutely grateful for the style of it. so many classic rock influences. i’ve really been loving that there are songs in the pop charts now that are straying from the sort of music that caters to the clubbing demographic--i hate saying that, because that music is not necessarily worth any less than the music i’m talking about, but i really don’t like it, and i really hate the club scene in general. but songs like styles’s, miley cyrus’s new song, even selena gomez’s sampling of talking heads--they’re a bit refreshing, and i know that this kind of music has never died, but it does disappear from the hot 100 sometimes (apart from the complete blandness of people like ed sheeran--and even he’s dipping into the club scene now)--and it’s nice to get it back. at any rate, harry styles has completely won over the world in the past month, and i’m happy he did.

the partridge family: i’ve loved the partridge family since my parents and i watched the show together when i was maybe 8 or 9. i received their “best of” cd around that time, and i have very specific memories of loving hearing tracks like “echo valley 2-6809” and “sunshine” while riding along those never-ending highways on trips to see family. i also remember not liking the end of the album as much as the beginning, which is funny to me, as i now greatly prefer those last few songs (along with many from different albums that i have more completely learned about in the last couple of years). anyway, i saw recently on the episodes wikipedia page (while refreshing my memory of plot lines in search of an episode of the show to watch) that the “soul club” episode had been ranked in 1997 as #78 on tv guide’s list of 100 greatest episodes. i also saw that the song “bandala” was performed in that episode (a song i really love), so i thought, “why the hell not?” i watched that episode and the one where the runaway girl gives the family a million dollars (i have really specific memories of the shots of the bus going through that pretty off-the-chart road–as someone who’s recently been really into the idea of the outdoors, i wanted to see this episode again) and maybe another one in the past month, along with listening to some of their music (specifically “morning rider on the road”–cassidy’s wistful tone really pleases me), and it’s really been a highlight. the show has its annoying moments among the characters, but that’s bound to happen when there are little kids who are part of the regular cast. at any rate, may was a month in which i spent more time than usual thinking about the partridge family.

seinfeld: as a classic show that’s available for streaming on amazon prime uk, i figured i should really watch the whole series before i go back to the states at the end of june. i’m actually more than on track, with just a season and a half to go (i started probably in late february)–but i was worried for a hot minute there that i wouldn’t finish it. sometimes, i just have to stop watching after a couple of episodes because it gets to be too much, and there have been points where i’ve gone a week without even thinking about watching it. it’s grown on me, though, i suppose. however, there are numerous episodes that make me anxious from the sheer stupidity of the characters and the problems that they could so fucking easily get themselves out of if they thought for a minute about their actions. i think for me to purely enjoy a show, i do have to like the characters, and it’s somewhat hard with seinfeld. sure, george has given me a lot of laughs, but he’s such an asshole. that whole engagement to susan? selfish, lazy, and not funny. also–lazy writing, in my opinion, killing her off like that. i know they had to get rid of her because the character didn’t fit, comedically, with the other characters, but still. just break off the damn engagement and never see her again. at least that’s believable. they should have never written in that engagement to begin with. it didn’t make any sense. and jerry, wishy-washy as hell, indirect, and much too careless with his money. i suppose that kramer is the best character, but i think elaine is just as good. she keeps the boys in check, although she really needs to get her foot out of her mouth. i don’t actually have much to say about kramer. he’s definitely the least annoying one. but, at any rate, there have been some hilarious moments on the show, and i’m at the point where i really want to finish it–it’s an accomplishment to look forward to. plus, i really have enjoyed watching it this past month, sometimes five or six episodes in a day.

“sister golden hair,” america: i’ve liked this song for a while now, but after seeing the film miss stevens, the song piqued my interest even more. it features prominently in that movie, and although i didn’t like the movie itself too much--moreover, i really didn’t like how the song was featured in it--i still got more into the track after viewing the film. the guitar, the slide, the timbre, the overall sonically pleasing nature of it. i don’t have very much to say about it because it doesn’t strike me (lyrically or instrumentally) the way that my previous song faves have, but i just don’t seem to get tired of it. fave lyrics: “i been one poor correspondent, and i been too too hard to find”--i’m just fond of beckley’s phrasing of this line, really.

#faves #favourites #favorites

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