#the only thing stressing me here is you

[tapakah0]

#*giggle* #hello Universe #I think I accidentally burned out the side of me that consumes content #can't read something or watch properly but some things are still okay like your og comic so I think I might get back soon only to your main #and answering some people and socials are stressing me out a little bit lately pffht #but always happy to see you and know that you're okay *giggle* #excuse my quiet stare and company #I'm trying my best to recover properly since there are plenty of things I want to do #...you know you can stay here to recharge #Have the sweetest night and a lot of inspiration moon #.....I think I also accidentally burned out the emotional side of me I really mean it that I'm happy to see you......

[woosansang]

a collection of incredible, life changing, discord dm spam worthy seonghwas ♡ happy birthday to one of my favourite people, fio @hwanswerland ♡

#ateez #ateezedit #seonghwa #park seonghwa #~ #fio 👑 #heyfio #only for u would i colour ten gifs from scratch <3 #i dont wanna get sappy here bc god fucking knows ive done it enough times and u know what i'd say anyway #so to keep it short and sweet: i am incredibly grateful to know you and i appreciate your friendship so much #have as good of a day as u possibly can in between all the stressful things happening rn <3 #message me when u can bc i miss talking to u every day and i want to celebrate ur bday with u as best i can <3 #tagging some hwatuals for funsies #cheytermelon #forbelleseyes #lucieblr #jennahui #yunhwalovebot #meganbyte

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[vimbry]

jumping off the back of the post about genres of song lyrics, another thing about tmbg's lyrics in particular is that even when they write about pleasant themes, they still manage to frequently do so through a sinister lens:

the experience of having children and looking after them:

a nice little nightlight protecting a child muses on the shortcomings it would have outside its assigned responsibility:

fantasising about getting high in the park with your crush:

#tmbg #AND. I love it. #please feel free to add to this btw. I feel like there's more flansburgh examples but they're dropping out of my head #I've gone on and on about ''sleeping in the flowers'' already. so I won't repeat myself too much in the tags here #but I can also see how it's intended to come across as playful. like. #it's two people in love having a silly exchange between each other #I also like the little interlude from the nightlight's lullaby-of-sorts to the child to describing how it would make a really bad lighthous #''man it's a good thing I'm not one of those. I'm too small. if I did that then people at sea would crash and drown horribly hahaha #anyway good night'' #and actually re: nanobots. it only just occurred to me #I'd gotten 'newborn citizenship of the micronations'' being a verbose way to describe. babies lol #but is the start of verse about the actual birth of a child and getting so distracted by the preparation and stress #that you almost forget oh yeah. I have this kid now :) #and thinking about how even tho your worries around that are now over you'll focus instead on all the future responsibilities you'll have #how does something written in such a detatched way manage to be so sweet

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

#simon says #to explain here and not in a reblog: #sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb #you might not have done enough research #you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument #you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this #sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution #you do what you can to fight against the problem #you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem #and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem #like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue #but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face #they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you #and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing #sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“ #sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that #i used this while talking with my Dad tonight #he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution #and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now #and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it #and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate #and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before #i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help #and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change #but all I really could do is the little things I have control over #and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over #like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet #which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue #and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best #so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment

[ef-1]

girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year. #when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍 #not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :) #like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢 #and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up- #when people mention it 😍 #last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her) #and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook” #and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?” #im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

you absolutely already know this, but i adore your work. i think it's hard to avoid the pressure of being surrounded by people we might consider "true artists," but the fact is that, frankly, everyone who makes art is an artist.

before this year, i hadn't drawn a complete piece in nearly three years. the line work i did produce felt abysmal and i was tempted to give up. then, i saw your comic and i thought, "wow, that's really cute, and it looks like a fun style to emulate."

i drew you, pondering me, eating grass. and it WAS fun. i forgot how fun it could be. i can draw lesbian horses, or pony!WWX throwing a chicken, or me eating grass. i can even make shitty memes! and all of it, no matter how good or how bad, is fun again.

you bring a lot of fun to people here. that's something equally as important as people who cultivate fancy line work or expert level digital painting. i'm sure that's something you know, but i hope it never hurts to hear it.

happy first season, friend! i can't wait to see the rest.

As a chronic perfectionist, it's been a long journey for me to accept that 'done is better than nothing' and that the worst critical voice is my own. Sure there's people who've gone to professional art schools, and those with a more than a decade of experience on me, but honestly? Would I tell a child their sonic drawing isn't art? Just because they have no 'experience' or 'technique'? Absolutely not. So I'm no longer saying my efforts should not count as art.

At the end of the day, art is what we choose to make it. We have the power to create whatever we want. And we are going to use it to have fun! We never lost the love and fun for creation we all had as children, we just told ourselves it wasn't enough. But it really is B*)

#ask #non mdzs #Thank you so much for this very heartfelt message B'*) #This kinda hit hard for me cause this blog isn't actually my first attempts at art (started with the classical florals and life drawing) #but it stressed me out immensely. All I could see was flaws and it made the process miserable knowing I wasn't going to succeed #So I stopped trying. I didn't draw for *years* #The point of Poorly drawn mdzs was always 'it doesn't matter how it looks it matters that I just keep going' #and it made art fun! I was making comics for ME and no one else. The bar was so low and I really could only go up from where I started #I think art block might be 50% fear of failure and 50% the weight of expectations. *That's* why art is perceived as 'hard'. #I'm gonna be fully honest here; your art is GORGEOUS!!! I'm glad you didn't give up B*) Though I understand the feeling. #I have greatly enjoyed chatting and collaborating with you! Thank you for so so many things #I hope to see more of your work again in the future!! I hope you keep finding the joy and fun in the act of creation! #is it not so amazing we can make something out of thoughts in our heads? #Lets all remember that art let's us draw ourselves eating grass and realize how wonderful that is

[unexpectedbrickattack]

.

#chattin #nothing bad or spicy i just feel like peep peeping rn #📢🐀! #but there is talk of panic attacks and Bad Stims up ahead (not related to me dw) -> #i was thinking of autistic peppino bc i am planning out the vigilante comic in my head #and like the quick premise is that vigilante comes into the pizzeria and shoots a blank into the ceiling to get everyone to shut up #and quiet down so he can go ask for (demand really) to see peppino bc this fuckerhas a bounty FOR A REASON and hes here to find out why #bc u know; cowboy yeehaw shenanigans #only its like 5am and no one is there jdkdndjdndk he just saw the lights one and went BANGBANG #anyway peppino is in the back cowering bc someone came into his fucking shop and started shooting UNPROMPTED #and hes so fucking scared and unwilling to move and when he sees someone actually come through the back door he starts having a legitimate- #-panic attack and he starts doing the stimmy hands thing over his ducked head #and vigilante is like whoa whoa WHOA WHOA HOL UP WHATS HAPPENIN #like i dont think peppino has ‘happy stims’ he has ‘extremely self soothing’ stims #that include flapping but only if hes so unbelievably stressed that he cant think #or he has more violent ones like pulling at his hair and biting his hands #that on top of like a genuine panic attack where he cant breathe and he thinks his heart is stopping is 😵‍💫 #vigilante is like christ almighty what the fucks got you so damned spooked?? like he doesnt even think of the blank he shot #he assumed someone came in before him or something #and hes like oh shit wait thats mE I DID THAT I SCARED HIM #i am still planning it out but yes. autistic peppino is on my mind 😊 #in a more positive light hes very earnest; and good at his job bc cooking in an interest of his #and his responses in social situations are bizarre enough sometimes to wrap back around to endearing #also its an excuse to draw peppino looking very confused but happy and gustavo somewhere in the shot going- #‘the bad bitch i pulled in by being autistic’ #swag #ALSO THE TAG IS BACK so i guess i can doodle again heehee

[bumblingbabooshka]

write to me

#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago) #bee doodles #Tuvok/Janeway #Janeway/Tuvok #st voyager #st voyager art #letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages #Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you #ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night #because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of #hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep) #because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a #tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too #selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against #each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something #steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright) #two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and #to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then #the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make #up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes #to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.) #When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok

[dragon-tamer-1]

I want to be able to reblog people's art without having to worry about people's negative reactions when it's someone that a majority of people don't like, is that so much to ask?

Why must it be a problem if I like someone's art even if the person believes in something others don't? Why must people treat people like they're bad for liking someone's art and writing when others don't like that person because of their beliefs?

I'm just hanging out and reblogging art and writing that I find enjoyable. In the end that's just what I'm doing when I reblog stuff. Enjoying it. If it's something I don't enjoy/like to see, I just block the tag or, if it's a specific blog that I decided that I didn't enjoy and don't want to see I block that blog as well. Otherwise just vibing. I don't hate anyone that doesn't like someone else of course, but the way people talk about that one person, it's like they think it's the worst possible thing for someone to enjoy that person's art and writing. I just can't hate someone based on that person's beliefs, it just goes against my own personal beliefs, and I can't help that I still enjoy those things.

I try to keep the drama and stuff off my blog cause I'm not about that. And it shouldn't be treated like some kind of crime to still enjoy someone's art/writing/etc just because other people don't like that person, in my opinion.

#vent post #i only feel this way cause someone on anon asked why i still follow a certain person cause i reblogged that person's post updating their fic #and i think it's weird that if people don't like that person. then just don't like that person #i just enjoy the art and writing #i only see hate going to that person yet that person has never spread hate for anyone to anyone #i just want to reblog stuff without it becoming this big thing of drama #discourse tw #stop spreading hate and just move on #at this point it just seems like toxic behavior (not attacking anyone. just how it feels to me) #like i said you can freely dislike someone #its just that it seems controlling when you want others to think like you do and dislike who you dislike and congorm to your own beliefs #I'm just here to enjoy art and writing #regardless of who it's from #unless that person has legitimately hurt people #just block certain tags and the person you dislike and move on #i don't think anyone is bad for liking or disliking people for their own reasons and personal beliefs #i also just cant hate someone for their own beliefs. especially since they're not hurting anyone with those beliefs #sorry for the down mood #this whole thing is just tiring for me and i just want to enjoy the things i like without being all “man people are going to dislike me - #just because i still like the art/writing of someone that everyone around me dislikes. i just want to enjoy stuff why must it be such #a controversial thing to just like something “ #can't we all just agree to disagree instead of being mean to someone who likes something /someone you don't? #liking and reblogging stuff that doesn't have any harmful stuff in it can't hurt anyone #i wish this stuff didn't make me feel as stressed as i did #I'll be fine #i just want to enjoy the art and stories that i came to love by the people who made them #regardless of their beliefs #cause i think that just because someone believes something doesn't make them a bad person for believing that

[ereborne]

What is a Monday? A miserable little pile of obligations.

semester turnover restructure

generate/send out error reporting

figure out how to separate out unique counts

create polite reply to Massive Dick Move email

finish the bad book >:(

bò kho (not an obligation. dinner)

laundry

lizard bath

#yapping tag #I spent my weekend trying to sleep and now all my chores are due today and I wanna complain. grump grump grump whine. #the semester turnover restructure actually is a pet project so that part I like! I wish I could take my time with it though #the error reporting is. well it's easy to generate (it's actually running now) and it's tedious but uncomplicated to send out #but then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting passive-aggressive responses from everybody #in a just world my coworkers would respond to careful itemized lists of all their fuckups with 'thank you Alexis you're so helpful #we really appreciate you flagging our mistakes two weeks before the system final-saves them forever into stone. have a cookie!' #but alas #if I'd been any less stressed and frantic when I first established the error reporting I'd have set up a separate address to send them from #write up some template emails and let the reporting all come out of the mythical 'automatic system thing' #--every 'automatic system thing' in our college is me or IT on my behalf. even the people who hired me for this don't seem to realize #if only I'd known from the beginning that nobody would ever connect me and my systems! I'd be exploiting the shit out of it-- #the unique counts is going to be a headache. no idea how I'm going to structure the coding for it. might be fun to invent? we'll see #the Massive Dick Move email response also will be an invention. 'hello Mr Massive Dick I am karma here to smite you' but polite #the bad book >:( I don't want to read any more of but the deal I made with my friend is he sends me free books and I report back #we did not discuss a special 'get out of book free' card for when the main character is a godawful shit sibling. (should've done though) #beef stew is good! mostly it's on the list so I don't forget to set the timers #laundry and lizard bath can wait until tomorrow if they must but they shouldn't wait any longer than that. lizard and I will get stinky

[lover-of-mine]

Tim literally did say that they’d be bringing back past characters this season, we know that already?? so i don’t know why people are freaking out about tommy guest starring, there are probably other characters returning too that we don’t know about yet. people are acting like it’s a secret that he’s back and therefore that means something?? abc are clearly taking all spoilers seriously, not just him 😅 and the love interest stuff is suuuuuch a reach. there is zero proof of this and i mean, come on…… possibility of first male love interest for buck and they choose tommy?? huh? 😂

Wait, they people are saying Tommy is back to a be a love interest? Oh, yeah, because they would totally take half of the couple most people want together, make him queer and immediately shove him with the 118 guy he replaced, who we don't even know if he met, and a lot of people get confused about because he only exists in begins episode, sure. We knew he was gonna make an appearance, and isn't Tommy, like, in some sort of special rescue crew? He's the one Chim calls who sends the plane with the water to that one huge fire in s2 isn't he? Buck ending up meeting him because he's unsettled and wants some specialized training makes a lot more sense than "oh they're gonna fuck" why does everyone jump straight to the "oh they're gonna fuck"? Also, taking half of buddie (any half), making him queer, and not putting them together, it's a dumb decision, because buddie is so intertwined that queer storylines for them need to be addressed together and to use someone we already know to create conflict between buddie when they already have love interests locked and loaded is just dumb. The chances of them giving Buck a male love interest are so low. And making said love interest Tommy? That would be such an insane move from the showrunners. This is a first season in a new network too, they're not gonna do something as risky as giving Buck a male love interest who's not Eddie right off the bat. Also, it's not the Buck show? Not every secret being kept is gonna be about Buck's storyline. Buck could be an entry point for something else. More people could be in the basketball game. They could be hiding stuff about the basketball thing because the script got leaked. There are so many possibilities, why are the specs always "they're gonna fuck"???????

#sorry anon i went off here youre great and absolutely right huh is the only correct reaction lol #i have my own set of insane specs yes but like #yall got think stuff a network would do in a reduced season in a show with 7 main characters #and i know we all want buck to get his canon bi statua but yall gotta be a bit more realistic here #you gotta think as a storyteller when it comes to specs not as a fan #this is madness #i haven't been keeping up with the specs because people keep making jumps and connecting things in specific orders #and im mostly here we dont even know if thats connected? #and it was stressing me out so i removed myself from the conversation but damn #911 #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about the fact Sora died because of the poison she drink to save her kids, because she is gentle and kind. And her only son who the desesperate act work is as kind as her.

But the StrawHats don't know she did that, this is something he don't have the courage to tell. And they know even less that Sanji is ready to do the same.

He isn't pround of that, but he ends up discovering the poison she drink and even have the recipe of how to do it. Because the germa soldiers teached them this and others poisons.

And this little fact is like a silent threat, a thing that if the crew discovers this, would be attentive about anything he drinks until they're certainly he's not gonna do the same thing his mother did.

And when the StrawHats learn about this fact, the exactly thing he expected happens, he notice Chopper and Robin always near the kitchen with the excuse of how's there was calmer, Nami and Usopp start to do his drinks for him or always are looking him while he's doing it, the others does things too. And Sanji notices all of this.

It's needed months to calm the crew, but still after they stop, all of them always have this fear in the back of they're minds (Luffy even goes as far as asking Law to do a check up on Sanji the next time they meet), that he will do this, but they want to believe he will not. They really want to.

(Just a thought that come to my mind yesterday, and I wanted to share, y'know? Based on some headcanons)

Oh, damn. This honestly hits close to home and it's really interesting so I wanna talk about it. But, you know, it's a serious topic so:

TW // Suicide, poison, self-harm, depression, etc etc you know the drill about Sanji and his issues. I don't go deep, tho, so It's not THAT explicit but could be triggering.

I think that after WCI and Wano, they'd all be worried. Sanji has always been pretty self-sacrificing with everyone and he doesn't value his life in the slightest. He doesn't show signs at first of being actively suicidal but the way he treats his own life makes it clear that he gets into self-sabotaging situations to the point of it being considered self-harm or even passive suicidal behavior. He just- Doesn't care about dying because he puts others first all the time. He has been doing that forever and Skypiea is just one of the times he does that. But, y'know, they never notice that. At least not everyone. I think Zoro is the first to know because of Thriller Bark, honestly. That's one of the biggest signs imo. But then they're separated and it's not like they can talk about it. Then two years happen and uh, shit goes downhill after that because WCI is just utterly traumatizing for Sanji and Wano makes everything worse to the point of asking Zoro to kill him if he loses himself. And we always say that's really gay (because it is) but we ignore the whole point of Sanji genuinely asking somebody to kill him without any fucking hesitation. And he spends all of Wano having the biggest crisis of his life wondering if he's human enough or worthy of being in the crew and???? What the actual fuck. Anyway, I think the crew ends up finding out about everything and I don't believe Sanji is well mentally after all of this. I know they don't write it like this because things are happening and they have to go to Egghead, but I think Sanji would end up really fucked up after WCI and Wano to the point of being worrisome.

If they do find out about the poison thing and Sanj's suicidal thoughts (honestly, I don't know how they would even find out about it unless Reiju tells them or Sanji snaps and yells about that, but, y'know. The point is that they know and Sanji is getting worse) I think you're completely right and they'd be all over him. Because that's exactly what happens when somebody acts this way. They look after him to a suffocating extent and watch his steps. They take turns to watch him. They prepare his drinks. They even make up something so he doesn't have to be on night watch so he can sleep, because he's probably not sleeping either. Or eating well, for that matter, which is what makes them all worry even more in the first place.

And hear me out, because I think he would try to do it. Like- Commit, I mean. Not gonna get into the topic too deep but I think he'd try and I think it wouldn't work because somebody would help him right away and I think he'd try to play it off as a mistake and a misunderstanding, but everyone would know. And he'd just try to ignore their pep talks and interventions.

This is projecting from personal experience and everyone goes through these things differently, but God, I think he'd fucking hate it if they looked after him. Because he knows he won't do it again. At least he doesn't want to do it again. But everybody keeps looking after him like he's about to break at any moment and it's so damn annoying to not have any type of privacy because they think he's gonna off himself the second he's alone. And he gets why they're doing it and appreciates their efforts to look after him, but acting this way is not the answer to his problems. It's just asphyxiating and it isn't helping him get better. You know how the crew is, they're NOT subtle and careful with anything and they're just-- They have good intentions but it's suffocating and he can't handle it anymore.

And I think he'd snap. I actually want to write a fic about this if you let me use your idea (I will credit you, ofc) because I think it'd be great to make him snap at Nami, specifically, and then regret it completely.

Long story short because this is getting long: I think Brook and Robin would end up talking things out with him because they're the ones who understand him the most in this situation. He'd apologize to Nami but also everyone else would apologize too for acting this way, they were just worried and wanted to look after him. I think, after this, the only ones watching Sanji would be Brook and Robin and they'd do it carefully, supporting him and helping him get better. And the whole crew would be next to him along the way but doing it with less assertiveness and just gentler.

I think the concept of Sanji thinking about death so often is great because it adds depth to his character and it's not a crazy thought. I think it's pretty damn canon, actually. At least him being careless about his own life.

#so i never talk about these things here bc trauma but i've gone through shit like this and people don't let me go near medication alone #and it's been YEARS #and it's only stressful because they don't let you do anything on your own once shit like this happens and you lose all sense of privacy #like your whole identity and intimacy you could have fades away and i understand why sanji would snap at them #i think he'd regret it right away and he'd apologize and nami would understand perfectly but damn it hurts anyway #i could go deeper on this analysis but idk if it's a topic i should talk about on tumblr bc it's triggering for some #i think you understood what i wanted to say tho #he gets better dw #robin and brook are like- obviously the ones who have gone through shit like this ofc they'd understand him #anyway i always love to talk about sanji's mental health issues #he's very depressed has anxiety and probably bpd and an ed but that's a topic for another day #and he's also a sweetheart and deserves to be happy #we're all about positive thoughts here and i swear he gets better #one piece #black leg sanji #straw hat pirates #tw self destructive behavior #tw suicide #please be aware of the tags it's a really sensitive topic and i don't want any of you to be triggered :(

[daisywords]

the worst part about being a pianist is that you can't just...simply take your instrument with you

#friends I am BEREFT #I was incredibly lucky to have my own piano for the last three years of college #and I mean like. someone gave it to me for free #and I also had access to a social network in the area + a pickup truck + my father who is an experienced piano mover and problem solver™ #but anyway I could not bring it with me when I left #and even if I could just manifest it here there is nowhere to put it in this house #that's the thing like. you can find pianos pretty cheap on facebook marketplace these days #but moving one is a whole ordeal #and then you have to have somewhere to put a whole piece of furniture #our living room is tiny :( #thinking I could maybe fit a keyboard in my bedroom if I could find one #but it's not the same... #anyway my best hope atm is getting door access to the church I attend #but I have yet to converse with anyone in a position to help me with that #and it's only a short walk which is nice #but still not the same as home piano #ik ik this is a very ''first world problem'' #but for most of my life I have been in the habit of playing almost every day #it's stress relieving! it's creative! it was...kind of loadbearing in some ways... #it's a very Jane Austen predicament. where's a secret fiancee to buy and deliver a surprise piano when you need one

[spaceangst]

does anyone else get that sinking feeling when a friend gets really into something you absolutely adore/have been hyperfixating on, but when you mentioned it, they ignored it (and kinda just ignore you unless and will talk over you to talk to their actual friends to the point where you're not even sure if y'all are friends or just acquaintances) and now they're really liking it and you just. want to gatekeep it bc that interest was (and is!) important to you...

or am i just being childish lol

#shut up k #forever frustrated with how people will act like they're in a clique online too #it's even more annoying when no one was mean necessarily #just kinda snubbing that same interest #and now you're like oh this is v interesting #this is about a twt only oomf btw not anyone here #or anyone on here and twt #but i'm just kinda annoyed bc like. link click was my thing #and i was so ready to share #but when i was you just straight up launched into talking over me to your other friend #it's the first time i've felt too old for that kind of drama #and you're both older than me so this really shouldn't be happening #but anyway i watched all of your favorites first and was excited about all of them to you first #and you ignored them all only to turn around and scream about them to your bsf three days later #which is cool #this is a rant i'm aware i sound childish i'm majorly stressed over an orgo final and this was my final straw #but it's also a pattern #idk the most childish part is wishing you never got into lc #bc now it's not just you ignoring me to talk about it #it's you AND your bsf #which is totally cool #i'm v cool with this #y'all are freaking 23 and i just barely turned 20 and this feels so middle school ugh