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javierpena-inatacvest · 4 months

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Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

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“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.”

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours.

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you.

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding.

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back.

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.”

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding.

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.”

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi.

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life.

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi.

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners.

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist.

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?”

“I’m sure, you dork.”

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house.

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days.

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.”

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans.

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin.

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror.

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car.

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more.

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there.

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors.

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house.

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-”

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you.

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder.

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!”

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard.

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived.

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips.

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice.

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear.

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve.

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held.

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.”

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other.

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner.

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown.

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp.

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste.

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips.

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you.

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth.

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.”

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?”

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh.

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.”

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg.

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house.

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day.

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you.

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?”

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair.

“Not soon enough, apparently…”

“Murphy…”

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.”

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.”

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him.

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count.

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played.

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole.

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.”

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball.

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question.

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion.

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together.

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine.

Javi loved you.

Javi cared about you.

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want.

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met.

Or was he?

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed.

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve.

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face.

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag.

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt.

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction.

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse.

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you?

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi.

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return.

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?”

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?”

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.”

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second.

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on.

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case.

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate.

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant.

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel.

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf.

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I told you, it’s fine.”

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-”

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying.

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this?

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess.

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio.

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction.

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp.

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story.

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment.

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.”

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi.

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi.

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe.

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground.

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince.

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug.

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself.

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out.

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?”

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug.

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well.

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-”

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.”

“Jav, wait, I-”

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became.

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot.

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi.

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies.

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him.

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could.

“I don’t know if we should get married.”

Fuck.

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-”

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?”

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing.

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap.

“You shouldn’t love me.”

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth.

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.”

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank.

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-”

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.”

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you.

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt.

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.”

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence.

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.”

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him.

“Osita, I-”

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love.

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved.

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth.

“I promise.”

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else.

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it.

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt.

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too.

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island.

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh.

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life.

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.”

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved.

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness.

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his.

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin.

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs.

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness.

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress.

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him.

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat.

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.”

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours.

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.”

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp.

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips.

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.”

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke.

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-”

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head.

“Wait, how did you-”

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes.

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh.

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones.

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t.

It was also the kind of kiss where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it.

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket.

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!”

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles.

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity.

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi.

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face.

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.”

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.”

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much.

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

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turtletaubwrites · 2 months

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Turtletaub Fic Recs ~ Part 1

This is but a small sample of the incredible One Piece fics, headcanons, and drabbles that I've read on this lovely site, so I will be adding many more lists going forward! Please enjoy, and spread the love to these writers that have given me all sorts of feels 🥰 I've dug through my list, so some of these are recent, and some are from a while ago, but they all deserve a read. Enjoy! | Other Fic Rec Lists ~ | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Ace

Starvation by @wallachianblood ~ ANGST!! Only read this one if you want to hurt inside. Which is why I highly recommend! It tackles grief in such an interesting and uncomfortable way, and it's been stuck in my brain. (Please check the warnings, there's intense grief, angst, discussion death and of cannibalism in reference to romantic love and pain.)

Benn Beckman

When You Had The Chance by @fanaticsnail ~ The longing! The yearning! The "oof, why is this old man so hot?!" 🥵 Beautifully written as always, and now I have ANOTHER One Piece crush 😅

Buggy

@hey-august keeps giving us delicious lil Buggy bits that I can't get enough of! Have a taste: Breakfast, Whimpers

A Favor for the Captain ~ MORE Buggy from @hey-august that is just so stinkin' cute + hot! This two part fic is so well written, and I just adore when pathetic Buggy gets the love! 🤡💜

Corazon

A Reward From Cora by @leakyweep ~ STILL thinking about this. Short but sweet, and my Corazon, my heart, is now occupying my brain in a very different way. I would appreciate some more quiet time please 🥰

Eustass Kid

Kid by @kaizokuniichan ~ Hi, yes, this is so good! This is the fic that finally flipped me over into Kid territory. Now I'm scrambling, trying to figure out how to deal with a crush on this dumbass 🤦🏼‍♀️

Jinbe

Guiding Star by @discordantwritings ~ I didn't know I needed this, but I definitely did. Holy fuck, that fish man is sweet and 🥵🥵 Need me some more of this!

Mihawk

Little Game by @gingernut1314 ~ This is STUNNING. I'm late to the game, so I'm flipping stoked that I have more to read! The first chapter already killed me with how beautifully it's written, how rich the world/story is, and how interesting and lovely both Mihawk and the reader are!

Sanji

3, 2, 1 by @fanaticsnail ~ Ooh, this Sanji fic messed me up in the best way! I absolutely adored the flirty build up, the tension, the angst, and the lovely, smutty finale. Seriously, one of my fave Sanji fics, and you should give it a read!

Baby, It's Hot out Here by @lowkeycasanova ~ I LOVE perverted Sanji so much! Here's another short but sweet fic that carved a smutty little spot into my head. I bet Sanji would learn to make the tastiest popsicles just to enjoy the show 😏

I Can Teach You If You'd Like by @vinsmokc-sanji ~ Yeah, this is cute as fuck. Reminded me of working at restaurants, and having a crush on peeps that had no business being as hot as they were. SFW, and super cute, check it out!

Trafalgar Law (Can you tell I've been on a Law kick for a while?)

Pain Management by @thus-spoke-lo ~ I'm sorry, this fic still keeps me up at night. It has rooted itself into my skull, and I don't think it will ever leave. HIGHLY recommend. (Please check content warnings! This fic contains dubcon elements.)

Beset Fixation by @eelnoise ~ Yeah, Law with the feelings fucks me UP. This is so good, sexy, and emotional. 10/10

Therapist Law by @sanjisjuul ~ Um, hello?! This one has also stuck to my brain, and made me even more concerned for my mental health than I already was. Oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️ It's hot as fuck, highly recommend!

A New Routine, A New Man by @willowhaze26 ~ This is so satisfying, and so hot 🥵 One of the first Law fics I found, and I am grateful for this delightful work 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Hearts and Marks by @escenariosinfumables ~ This is one of the cutest fucking things I've ever read, and I need it to be canon.

Zoro

Rough by @kibblz-n-bitz ~ This is short, but filthy! Dirty talkin, dom Zoro is oh so 🥵

Ways That Zoro Wordlessly Says "I Love You" by @nina-ya ~ Such cute Zoro fluff, I adore him 😭💚 He's just a big sweetie!

#fic rec list #fic recs #turtletaub fic recs #one piece fanfic #one piece x reader #x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece smut #smut #trafalgar law smut #sanji x reader #fic masterlist #buggy smut #fem!reader #reader insert #one piece fics #mihawk x reader #jinbe x reader #zoro smut

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hiimgin · 4 months

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Hey!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

How are you? How was your year? I hope all is well or getting better.

I'd like to tag the people who are especially important to me. Those who have become incredibly important to me in such a short period of time. Those who continue to make me happy.

@almost-an-artist . Lily, my beautiful Lily! I am very glad that we have started communicating with you. It seems like we've been in touch for no more than three months.... But I feel like we've been talking forever. And, oh... Your work continues to shock me to the core. Did I mention that I'm genuinely in love with your artwork?

@whyoneartheven. Oh, Evie! You were literally my third followers and, damn. You're so wonderful. You're a pleasure to hang out with, even though we don't do it too often. You're really cool, and your artwork..... I truly love your style. I hope you're doing well

@kiwi-der-vogel . You know how much I love your work. It's just beautiful. Beautiful in every way. And you yourself... Kiwi, you're wonderful. Yes, we've barely spoken, but I'm truly glad to have you. Thank you

@prince-of-red-lions . Oh, great Windy! You don't know how impressed I am with you. You're very sweet. And you're a pleasure to talk to. I'm really glad I got to know you. And, oh, my goddesses. Windy, I love your art!

@akchimp75 . You're precious. I'm sorry we're not communicating right now. I really hope we can fix this. I really, truly consider you my friend and I want to apologize to you for being very passive lately.

@undertheopensky. A wonderful person. I don't know what else to say. You're beautiful. I'm really glad we're in touch, even if not as often.

@turdofanerd. I'm sorry, I can't say much. You are awesome! Your style is very cool and your support is very, very strong. Thanks for everything!

@blakesoul16. My darling, you're adorable. And so is your art. Please keep it up! I really like your art a lot

@gia-d. This is when I want to apologize. I remember what you said about being able to text you anytime, but, uh. I'm just embarrassed to do it. And I want to apologize for that.

You're amazing. Very nice to talk to, and... I truly love your art.

@raven8224. Ooh, I couldn't forget you. Do you know how cool you are? You're so cool! Just-- Wow.

@la-sera. Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a long time. But... I'm truly glad I found out about you. I am truly grateful to the Goddesses that you exist. Your artwork is magical. You are an incredible person yourself! Thank you. For everything.

You have all become incredibly important rays of light in my life. I didn't think, coming into July, that I would have even one friend..... Thank you all!

I apologize that the post came out a bit rambling..... It was a little difficult to put my thoughts and words together

But remember, I love everyone. Absolutely everyone. You are all beautiful and hold a special place in my heart. I love you all so much.

Peace, everyone!

Bye.

#amour wanna talk!#i love you guys

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jils-things · 4 months

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happy new year! ; my farewell letter to 2023.

last year, ive written a similar farewell letter to 2022 and i want to make this a little tradition - so here's my second one <3

okay, so - wow. first of all, just wow.

this might be incredibly bold to say, but i think this has been my best year to be alive (i promise you i do not want to sound corny about it, but i really think 2023 was amazing for me.) of course, many things happened. im at my last year of senior high before i go to college, which is very scary but i hope i can be brave for it. school has been actually very generous to me recently, despite a few minor setbacks that looked very major when i was going through it, but overall it was very generous to me. but irl rambling is boring, so let's talk about my selfshipping blog!

last year, i had a verrrry firm grip on a previous f/o that im 100% sure old followers know - though im a little sad I can't find that spark to focus on him again - the shift in media has helped me find new f/os that i can say has been incredibly memorable to me. as we all know, im in a very INSANE pokemon brainrot since november or october(?) of 2022 and it has still remained heavily active in my head right now - which i honestly didn't even know i had the full capacity of doing! I don't know what magic this game did to me but i promise you im so happy i revisited this game again.

i would talk about how grateful i am to everyone has been supportive and sweet about my romantic f/os but i think the best highlight of my blog is my newfound love for my familial f/os - before that, i never had a single one on my list because i was simply quite disconnected to the family love concept, but after indulging myself in pokemon - i would come to discover pokemon adve.ntures, or poke.spe for short hehe. i have so many fond memories of finding myself wanting to read more and MORE - i would have every chapter downloaded beforehand just so that i can read it in my spare time, not even school that demanded my attention would stop me from sneaking my phone to quickly read through the manga LMAOO - but consuming the media itself wasn't enough, i needed people to understand the ROLLERCOASTER of emotions i had while reading and well, i think its very clear who those people were, the ones who came to save my miserable ass from (insert shocking scene in poke.spe) AHSJHSHSJSJS you know who you are and i appreciate you forever and they - i kid you not, helped me create something wonderful!

but of course, the video games were just as amazing. would you believe me if i told you i played gens 1 to 7 in one year? that's how much i adore the game and i still have yet to catch up to other games like the spin offs :] im not sure how to end this statement but. im so happy appleshipping and memoryshipping exists 🥹 i usually don't like thinking that they'll be with me forever because i believe nothing lasts for eternity but i just wanna say that they were just ... im just so contented 🥹 again, all of this actually would not have been so impactful to me if it weren't for my awesome mutuals hearing me out about it and supplying me with even more ideas - these mutuals would also end up becoming such loving friends of mine that helped me get out of my comfort zone and im still happy they're around (hi guys!) 💚

oh! and, what a surprise, i never thought id have an oc f/o! i initially thought that this was so impossible to do but?!??;?! it just happened i guess!!!! i keep surprising myself this year 😭

ok now here's the obligatory art summary for the year 💥

literally the best thing i ever done with my art is try using csp and it actually really helped me change the way i draw, and i even managed to cross out a few items in my last year's resolution thanks to it! i still bounce between using ibispaint and csp but i certainly improved!

the last thing im forever grateful about are the people who has been consistently supportive of my art - especially the commissions, i can't stress it enough how much it has helped me outside and it allowed me to go beyond my comfort zone when it comes to my drawing skills :']] thank you all so much

and finally, big thank you to everyone who sent me nice letters to my tree 🥹💚 its a gentle reminder that im actually ... pretty cool ig 🥹 and if you didn't send one, that's also ok!! you're still cool for reading this mwamwa

again im so bad at ending posts like these but cheers to a new year and let's hope it'll be better for everyone. 💚🫡 goodbye 2023!

#~ misc #~ rambling

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ji-ang · 2 months

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DRC Valentine’s Day Fest: A Rebel(CA)p(T)ain Reclist

Part I: In-Universe Settings

Fics set in a galaxy far, far away.

Return to main post for other cat related rebelcaptain content! (this link is now fixed!)

In the spirit of clicking links, today and every day is a good day to click to freely donate ad revenue from this site to the UNWRA (United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East).

Recs below! 💕

Alphabetical by author! All links are to the ao3 version of the fic because that’s how and where I found them.

I've tried to do my research and identify authors' tumblrs if I'm able to tag them. If I tagged the wrong person or if you're tagged and you don't want to be, just let me know. 💕

I used to be a king alone by @brynnmclean

Cassian and Jyn have some downtime while on a mission, explore a marketplace and pick up a furry friend. The author uses the tag “A Date-Shaped Mission or a Mission-shaped Date” which is honestly better and more succinct than any additional summary I could add. This fic features a bit of droidnerd!Cassian, which is another love of mine.

por más que crezca, vas a estar aquí by @firefeufuego

A very cool His Dark Materials style daemon insertion into a SW universe. Jyn’s spiritual manifestation is a cat that keeps Cassian company through the years.

Failure To Communicate by FluffMonster42

A multi-mission fic featuring the chaos duo of Han & Jyn, made even more excellent by the fact that Jyn acquires a loth cat that helps her & Cassian get over some of their emotional constipation.

the fact that you’re alive is a miracle by @fortysevenswrites

Presumed dead!Cassian is found alive and brought back to Jyn, who has in the meantime dedicated herself post-war to running a home for children and a clowder of tookas (do they have their own collective noun?). It’s very sweet.

1653 DAYS WITHOUT LUCK by @fulcrumstardust

I am 99% I didn’t know tookas were a thing until this fic, so I am forever grateful to it opening my eyes to that. 😂

It’s a story I enjoyed reading for a lot of reasons, but to focus on the cat facet: The tooka in this story is more conceptual/a child’s toy for most of the fic, but it’s a very cute element that brings Cassian and his daughter together.

Freya the Tooka by grexigone

Some very sweet (slightly bittersweet) Jyn backstory AND all sorts of adorable tooka interactions? Please and thank you.

Tooky Verse by @imsfire2

This series feels like an incredibly warm hug. Or, you know, a cuddle with a cat. Part 1 is tooka acquisition, Parts 2 & 3 are very cute snapshots of life on base in between missions.

Cheetah Tongue by @literatiruinedme

Short scenes of Cassian and Jyn’s cat on base. A bunch of funny, sometimes slightly awkward, and sweet vignettes and incredibly accurate depiction of cat behaviour.

Cat Cafe Verse by @luciechat

You know how all we want (most of the time) is for them to have nice, soft things? This series is absolutely a universe where they get to have ALL of them. Jyn and Cassian travel the verse and have to figure out what to do with all of the strays they can’t help but take in. This fic also tickles my droidnerd!Cassian itch.

Back to main post (this link is now fixed!)

#rebelcaptain #reclist #drcvalentinescelebration

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writercole · 1 year

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Mid-May update

After several days of thinking and one very good session with my journal husband counselor, I won't be leaving tumblr after all.

I'm still incredibly frustrated with the way creators are being treated, with the audacity of some of these bitches, the lack of interaction. But all that aside, I do like the fandom aspect of it.

I've culled several of my followed blogs, dropping over 300 people in the last several weeks. And I've been very liberal with that block button. I will be doing what I need to do to protect the little piece of peace that I have here.

A large part of my decision to stay has been mutuals. You guys have been incredibly supportive in so many ways over the years. The amount of you that have reached out and checked on me, that continuously poke my inbox with sweet messages, that flatter me every day is wonderful. To think that if we didn't have the internet, we wouldn't have our found family tribes, our Team Free Wills, our Avengers, our Daggers. Our covens. My life would be incredibly dull without you all.

My first week of work was tedious and slightly boring as it's all training but it's incredibly calming to have something to do during the day without relying on others to entertain me.

My gratitude for everyone through this month is indescribable. I wouldn't have made it, we wouldn't have made it without you and I will forever be grateful. You all have my love and admiration and my sword.

Now that I'm done with the blahdi blah, I'm sure you all want to know the updates on my wips, huh? Fine 😂

But one more thing first - happy birthday to my sibling, my friend, a bright spot in every day - @never--doubt. Kay, babe, I love you. I'm proud of you. And I am sending every ounce of positive energy that today goes your way. 💞💞

Five Minutes More is drafted for posting. We'll see Dean Winchester as a gamer and mechanic figuring out this little thing called love. One part currently, possibly more.

You, Me, and the Noises You Make is a honeymoon with Beau Simpson short story, under 500 words but ready to post soon.

The Replacement Bride is a new story for a new world featuring a group of mafia families spread across the country. There will be interconnected stories - already at chapter 6 and I've worked four of the six families together with a possibility of more as the story continues. I am considering the option of going straight to published with this universe, depending on how it fleshes itself out.

You'll Be In My Heart will be posting beginning in July, unless i finish a few other things first. We last left Jake standing in the bookstore staring after his ex-girlfriend (now named Allie) and his daughter, the one he never knew he had. Depending on the interaction and feedback I get, this may be the last series for tumblr.

Sounds of Someday: The Rewrite is trudging along slowly. My brain keeps telling me that I've already written this and that I shouldn't be doing it again but also that it's nowhere near good enough for publishing. My friend who has a masters degree in social work with a concentration in grief and trauma counseling will be looking over it when it's finished, hopefully between semesters for her!

I have several new pieces with original characters in progress, including a fantasy trilogy based on the song 'Labour' by Paris Paloma.

Also drafted are several moodboards for several different AUs. Due to the way moodboards are being received by the general pubic, they will stay in drafts until I decide what to do with them further.

There are more pieces of the Country Club AU in progress, including our first Boatman Bob story. I also have a collection called "A Thin Line" that I'm working on the second and third stories simultaneously for. One of those includes Fritz smut and I'm having trouble with it because he keeps short circuiting my brain.

There are two Ryan Spencer (Yellowstone) stories in progress as well as one Rip and a couple Rhett.

Sons of Anarchy is making a resurgence with a grand total of four wips.

Jason Todd has a couple of stories floating around in there.

I've got a few more Pedro, Sebastian, and C. Evans stories coming as well as stories for four different Toms, two other Chrises, a few more Jensen characters, and some new Glen, Lewis, and Danny characters.

The DC and Star Trek master lists will be expanding.

Posting of full fics will resume in June. I have one drabble that will be posted Friday and then new master lists will post twice a week until June 6. If there are still some to post, then they will posts on Tuesdays with fics on Fridays.

Fridays will be one-shots with Tuesdays being series.

What I'm also considering is restarting Patreon and including original works in there as well, and expanding it to an audience that includes my other readers. The other option is using tumblr tipping (which is powered by stripe and therefore more trustworthy than the hellsite itself) and locking posts. But that's definitely not the best case scenario.

Also in progress, while we're talking about other readers, is an actual website for my published works. Yes, I know the three I have out now are mediocre by many standards. They were really just to prove a point to myself. These next ones...not so mediocre.

My new job may take 40 hours of writing away from my schedule but let's be honest here...I wasn't spending 40 hours writing a week anyway.

#cole speaks #updates #about cole #coming soon #ocs #original content #sounds of someday rewrite #you'll be in my heart #the replacement bride #five minutes more #you me and the sounds you make #jake seresin #beau simpson #dean winchester #i'm not leaving #you're stuck with me

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potionpeddlerpatchy · 6 months

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Patch i’m so excited. you’re such an angel delight, and I, for one, am over the moon that you’re here, you’ve been here, and you’ll continue to be here. you’re a wonderful friend and person, happy anniversary darlin 💛💛 i am so greedy and want one of EACH, but we can start with an alluring charm :) or perhaps a book…. :) or even….. a palm reading :)

(basically you go nuts and i will go insane no matter what i love you i’m so happy to have met you and i am so grateful for your friendship)

Oh Kasey, how I find it serendipitous that we have met. You were just so openly kind with your words when it came to my many potions I have brewed that I could not help but wish to seek a friendship. And I am so happy that I did. Your presence gives me such warmth and elation that I feel as if we have been friends for many a year let alone only a short while. I do hope that this will continue, and I shall treasure all the time with you to ensure that it will 💛

Now, as what you wished to have from my little rummage sale, I am more than generous to gift to you everything your heart desires - as I would with any patron in my shop.

So, let me see what I can do for you, hm? 🔮

“Oh my aren’t we excited to gather all my rummaged wares, hm?” The peddler teased at your eager and sweet response over the news of her sharing such trinkets as a way of celebration

“I just like everything here,” You admitted, a little bashful, as your eyes gazed over all the many shelves that held so many interesting bobbles and books – all with an incredible and historic story you were sure “Though, you already know that, why I keep visiting you”

“And I very much enjoy the company” She responded, her usual gentle smile peeking from beneath her large, brimmed, hat before she gestures to a pair of plush chairs “Please, have a seat. Suppose it’s best for us to start with a palm reading, don’t you think?”

You nodded your head with enthusiasm as you moved to sit in the chair opposite of her, hand already outstretched so she could read the many lines that decorated your palm. You knee bounced, though you were unsure if in excitement or if it was anxiousness, as you watched her patiently as her fingertips danced delicately across your hand; her small hums made your heart skip a beat wondering what she saw.

“Interesting…” she finally muttered, as her fingers came to a halt, though the stillness in her entire being made it clear she was lost in thought.

“W-what is?” You finally whispered back as you leaned closer to her. Though you had to jolt your head away when she abruptly stood, you followed in kind, though you found it difficult to navigate the cluttered space as she did “What did you see?”

The peddler did not stop as she continued to rummage through the many items that littered her cozy shop; opening drawers and scanning many shelves to try and find whatever it was that caused her to become lost in such a seemingly mindless trance and active search.

“Is there something wrong with the person my palm matched me to?” You asked, a slight breathlessness to your tone as you grew ever more nervous.

“No, there is nothing to fear over what I saw.” the Peddler mumbled, her eyes still scanned the old books, overed in dust and wed, upon her more private shelf within her shop – though the way she chewed at the finger nail at her thumb, an action you never saw her do, one that almost made her seem nervous did little to quell your own feelings brewing withing your stomach.

“Then what is it? Please just tell me?”

You watched as her shoulders slumped downward slightly, as if she finally noticed the tension not only within the small room but within herself as well before her eyes casted back over to you. Her small smile was only a little reassuring, as she placed a hand upon your own to squeeze it gently.

“The man I saw within your palm, if you will, is one that was haunted – cursed even – by a soul of his past” The peddler began, before her eyes once again left yours in favour of searching the shelves once again “His name, that of Yuuta, and such a story to cling to his name made me recall a book I had and read of a similar man.”

“And, is that what you are looking for…?” You reasoned, eyes never leaving her form as you watched closely to any change of expression – both good or bad – that would cross her face

“It is,” She nodded her head, her nails dragging along a row of books “Something called out to you, I could feel it, when you first walked it. Now I know what, and I wish to find it for you.”

You wished you could reply, to find anything to saw to her in response, but your body could not form a word. This world, the one you enter in with such wide eyes, was so much more than you could ever comprehend and at that moment in time left you at a loss for words. Perhaps you could find it exciting, even comforting, that a book within her shop would call out to you and claim you as its rightful owner. But at that moment it just left you uneasy and you followed her hand as it ran across the many spines of the books of old she had in her possession. You swallowed a large lump that had formed in your throat when her hand finally stopped upon a of faded silver as she delicately removed it from where it had rested for lord knows how long.

“Please, have another seat” She gestured once more to a comfortable looking chair for you “I think you may find this rather enlightening”

Though uneased still filled you, it dissipated rather quickly once you sat back down; you felt a strange warmth fill you once the book was placed gingerly within you hand. You wished it could be explained, though you doubted the Peddler would be so kind as to do so, but your desire to open the book to read it became almost overwhelming as it took you by a similar trance.

“Go on, open it love.” She encouraged gently as she stood nearby to search in her many small drawers for something else “I will be right here, nothing to be worried of.”

With that small added sense of reassurance, of knowing that someone will be there to comfort you should something go awry and you felt even more dread and unease fill you to point of becoming frightening. With a deep, quiet inhale, you take the plunge and open the worn book gently.

A rush of water overcame you.

A sense of alarm followed alongside it as you rushed to breach the surface of the sea, to take in finally take in a deep breath and free your lungs of the painful ache that overcame them. You felt the tug and pull of your friend, his bright yellow body, did provide some reassurance to you that you will survive this ordeal, as he helped you to leave the sea.

Though it wasn’t always this way. You wanting to leave the water. It once filled you so full of life, how each roll of the sea, each wave you broke through, each tide you swept yourself up in, invigorated you and left you with a rush of feeling that filled your spirit so fully that you couldn’t imagine a life better than that. One where you were free to explore all the depths the ocean had stored away, all the creatures you would meet and befriend as they bashfully introduced themselves, and all the splendor you would come to home to; that of your fathers love and all the gifts he would give to you and your sisters. It was all so fulfilling, that you did not mind the one rule set out for you. How you followed it blindly as you obeyed for you could not fathom that breaking it would gift to you even more splendor than your life already had.

Truly, when you were young, you had no desire to see, or meet, any of the humans who passed by overhead in their ships.

But, on fateful day, you had stumbled across one that had sunk and from then on your desires and wants within your life had changed. All the trinkets and bobbles, the art and written histories you had found as your searched through everything upon that vessel made something within you called and yearned for more. From that moment on, you wanted to see, to learn, to hear, and to know anything and everything about the humans and their way of life.

An obsession, everyone called it. A delusion, a dangerous one at that, one that would fade over time and simply become a distant memory. That was what your father told you, a notion he believed and hoped in with all his being, for he knew firsthand how dangerous the humans were to your kind. Yet despite all the warnings, all the added rules, and the punishments that befallen upon you, your still wanted to be apart of a world not your own.

Your heart had never pined for something more than that. And despite your best judgement, and even the judgement of your closest friends who had come along with you on your excursions, you went up to the surface to follow a ship that had dazzled with the many bright lights it threw into the vast sky.

There you met a man, one that seemed so sad amongst all those singing and happy people, though he hid it well as he pretended to join in on their merriment in celebration of his birthday. Your heart ached as you watched him, you wanted nothing more than for him to smile with true genuine at you. And once he did, upon that sandy shore you swam him to after saving his life when his ship crashed, you knew you wanted to see it more. At that moment, more than ever before, you wanted to be human. Not only to enjoy the different way they find happiness in their lives, but to be with him more.

And that is how you ended up where you were. As you struggled to breath where you once could do so freely, as you tried not to drown where you once called home. The new legs you were given in a deal with a sea witch did not propel you as easily as your beautiful tail could. But you were determined to see this new life, even if for a few days, you could not let it end there before it could even begin.

With a deep gasp you broke through the surface of the water, sputtered and coughing as your friend continued to help tug you to shore. Once there you collapsed upon the warm sand to rest, as you took in painful breaths in to fill your aching and angry lungs.

Once you had adjusted to your climate, to the new way your body had changed, you finally were able to marvel at the beautiful set of legs given to you. And though you wobbled, barely able to walk upon them, the smile that graved your face – one large and full of elation – could not be taken from you.

It was a smile that continue to grow once you heard him, the man you had saved the other day, as he called out to whoever had become stranded and struggled upon the shore near his home. You found whatever you could to cover your newfound modesty before he could see as your heat pounded in excitement as you waited for him.

“Is anyone there!? Please, if anyone is there say something! ” He called out, the sound of his rushing footsteps louder and he hastily approached you. Though he stumbled to a stop, as did his voice that rang so loudly, when he finally found you.

“Oh.. um..” He cleared his throat before his footfall began to gingerly approach you, your heart swelled over his clear concern over your well being and wish to not startle you further “Miss? Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“My name is Yuuta, may I ask yours?” He quietly asked once he was within an arms length to you. You perked up once he was so close, the rock you has perched yourself on gave you a perfect view of his kind, warm, dark blue eyes; ones that could not help but remind of your home.

You opened your mouth to say your name, to finally let him know who you were and how you saved his life. And yet, nothing came forth, not even an utterance of a single note of sound. It was then the reality of your situation finally sank in, the gravity of it all. The sea witch took you voice. She left you complete unable to communicate in the manner you best at, and now you were at a loss of how you could get him to see and know you for who you were.

You motioned to your throat, tapping it gently to try as you leaned closer to him. He could tell by your sad eyes what you had meant as he helped you stay upright “Oh, you cannot speak?”

Yuta watched as you nodded your head, before he looked out towards the sea “And you washed upon the shore. Were you in an accident?”

He found it adorable how you nodded your head once more as you sought some kind comfort from him, at leas that was what he thought you were doing as you tucked your hands into his own to squeeze them. With a gentle smile he returned the small gesture, as he began to gently coax you down from your perch; he wrapped his arm around you in support as you struggled to walk with him.

“Easy there!” He chuckled warmly, a noise that made your heart swell “Come now, I’ll help you back to my home. I’ll take - !”

“Here is it!” You heard the Peddler cry out as she held in triumph a small trinket within her hand – one the gleamed with the same kind of silver that was decorated upon the bindings of your book.

You gasped at the sudden intrusion, heart racing as you were pulled from the soft and sweet scene that you were just within; such a sudden shock, of change of juxtaposition, made your head spin as you tried to come to terms with what was real and what wasn’t.

“Easy there, love” the Peddler cooed as she gingerly took your book out of your hands “It can be quite the shocking change when the world around you pull you out.”

You placed a hand over your heart, in an attempt to sooth your racing heart as you took in a few broken deep inhales of breath before your eyes shifted over to hers “W-was it real?”

“As real as you wanted it to be.”

Her response made your brows furrow as you tried to comprehend it all, but you did not have a chance to dwell on her words long before she placed within your hand a silver charm. You took a moment to allow your fingertips to brush against the intricate, beautiful, details it held before your curious and questioning eyes landed back upon her.

“I found this charm alongside this book, many years ago” She explained, closing your hand to keep it secure “They should never be separated, understand?”

You nodded your head, as your voice stuttering as if it had been taken away from you completely a few minutes ago “W-why?”

“I would fill him with such sorrow if you did.”

“Him? Who is he?”

“You know who he is.” She smiled knowingly at you before giving your hand a small squeeze before she stood “And should you wish to see what a life with him would be like, merely place that charm around your neck and you shall see.”

You wished you had a chance to ask her further all the questions that rang in your mind, but she merely shushed you as she placed before you a warm cup of tea. “Whenever you are ready, you may do as you please. I can assure you, that he will wait an eternity for you.” With one last nod she left you to serve another who had been curious to what wares were within her shop.

Ah yes, your charm! You need not worry over it just yet Whenever you feel the courage to want a peek, you may, and if you wish me to as well to help you through it, you need only ask.

Until then, suppose it will just be a pretty trinket to sit upon your lovely book~ 🔮

I do hope you wish to keep what you found, for all 'sales' are final

#i will give you your charm in a DM!#didn't want to break the flow of the story with it!#but yes thank you so much my sweet for always being so supportive and being such a good friend #i owe you the world 💛#but I do hope this will do!#i really and truly hope you like this!#🔮.the peddler's one year event #okkotsu yuuta #jjk yuuta #yuuta x reader

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sebsxphia · 8 months

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Sebbie m'dear, I am but a simple moot popping in to say hello and wish you well 🥰🥰🥰🥰. It's a very lazy, hazy Sunday here in the US and almost the last week of August which makes me kinda sad since summer is my favorite season.

I know I pop in with a ton of Preacher!Rhett thoughts/thots but this one's kind of been on my mind most of the day and I can't help it (lol).

It's a very, very lazy, hazy Sunday afternoon and you and Rhett have gotten almost all of the things on your list of shit to do, out of the way so you and your little ones can all relax. Rhett kept his sermons short and to the point since it was boiling hot (literally all those windows in the church had to be opened because it's an old building with shitty air circulation and no central air except in the parish gathering room) and didn't wanna keep people for any longer than he had to.

You, Rhett and your babies all come home and you're enjoying the afternoon to the fullest. Rhett made them all apple cinnamon pancakes and were promptly scarfed down before the kids went outside to play. Your youngest was finally able to come home after having to be in an incubator for almost a month so he needs alot more attention than the older ones. Since you live in a super close knit community, the neighbors have eyes everywhere which allows the kids to go and ride their bikes anywhere they want (they're always telling their Daddy that they're gonna go and look for One-Eyed Willie's treasure and I firmly believe that Man of God or not, Rhett LOVES The Goonies and passed it on to the babies).

With school being right around the corner, Rhett packs up their backpacks with their materials and extra sets of clothes (since you both opted to send them to an outdoor type of school that has the kids outside and playing as much as possible) and by the end you're both so dead tired that you, Rhett and the baby are all snuggled together in the hammock, listening to the birds, breathing in the smell of the fresh cut grasses and the buzz of the cicadas/hot-bugs.

Rhett's in and out of sleep from how peaceful it is, a lazy smile on his face with you resting against him in your pretty blue and yellow gingham summer dress and your little boy snuggled on top of him and he's just grateful because he has you and the babies as a part of his life and every night he thanks God for the life he's been given.

hello my love! i hope you’re having a lovely, lazy, warm sunday in august! 🥹🥰

ohhhh and this thought is so, so sweet, soft, warm and comforting. lazy and slow sunday’s like this are my favourite and i love to think about them to warn off the sunday scaries 🥺

i’m melting! aaaaaah oh my love, thank you so much for this incredibly sweet thought my love! 💌

#💌you’ve got mail #auroralightsthesky <33 #rhett abbott #preacher!rhett abbott

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the-kingshound · 2 years

Text

Q&A - PART ONE

Adrei, Saraah and Cledwyn

ADREI

Adrei our most beloved sister, who is your favorite sibling?

She lets out a raspy, if very short, laugh. “I’m not going to answer that.”

Adrei, what do you do for fun? Anything outside of working all the time?

“I don’t-“ she halts, dropping the rest of the sentence. After a brief pause to think about it, her gaze marginally softens. “I forge. Not often, and I am only able to work on simple objects. I find blacksmithing quite relaxing, maybe because I have the strength and endurance for it.”

Do you ever wish that things are different or better? A better family? A better or different environment for your siblings and yourself? Or more?

Adre seems suddenly older, she shrugs her shoulders as if uncomfortable with an added heavy weight. “For myself? No. I cannot imagine a different life from this. But… there are some things I regret, some things I wish would have been easier on-“ she clears her throat. “- on you. On Saraah, on Emyr. I didn’t do anything to change that, though, and that’s on me. If there is something I wish was different, is for my siblings to have been happier growing up.”

SARAAH

For Saraah and Adrei both, what do you think of each other? How's your relationship?

Adrei immediately answers. “Saraah is like an unruly horse. Volatile, rebellious. Sometimes, incredibly sweet.”

A genuine smile lights up Saraah’s face. “Aw, that was one of the nicest things someone said to me.”

“Adrei is tough, reliable. She may have pushed us too hard at times but at least she’s aware of that. I care about her,” at this, Saraah meets his sister’s stony gaze, “that’s why we keep in contact.”

Adrei nods. “We do. Not too often, but enough to know if the other is doing alright.”

For Saraah and Adrei. How do you really feel about your parents? Do you love them, feel distant from them, resent them, ooooorrrrrr? And Adrei I don't want some duty bound eldest child answer I mean your FEELINGS from your HEART

Saraah hums. “You know the feeling you have for something you once adored but as time goes on you begin to see the cracks and imperfection in it, and now you can’t unsee them? For me it’s something like that. I resented them a while back. Sometimes I still do. I don’t hate my parents, though, I simply live a lot better without them in the picture.”

Adrei looks to the side. “They are good parents. Not the best, not the worst. They taught us all valuable lessons, though their methods were sometimes harsh. I do not resent them for that. They are my parents and I… love them. I care about them as they care about me.”

Saraah turn to the side and aggressively pokes his sister. “Oh, come on! Those are not the feelings from your heart.”

Adrei hardens her gaze. “Those are my feelings on the matter, Saraah, whether you like it or not.”

so saraah, how did u handle your siblings fighting w each other? yes im talking about osia and mc

“Well, that’s not even fighting, it’s bullying. And I hate it. Osia is vicious, she attacks unprovoked and she is mean to the bone. She probably has fun doing it. But back to the question: Osia can fuck herself. If she wants to pick on my sibling she better be prepared to fight with me as well.”

saraah, fave childhood memory with mc?

“Mhh… oh, I have it!” he exclaims. “I was fourteen and I remember it had been a horrible week. I slept very little so I was exhausted and on top of that training that day was brutal. I was miserable and sore when the day finally ended. Then came my adorable little sib with their doe eyes who told me to follow them. They knew I liked flowers so they brought me to a sunflower field. We laid there all evening surrounded by these bright yellow sunflowers and I was so grateful I almost cried. It was peaceful, I didn’t feel pain or pressure. Sunflowers are my favourite flower to this day.”

Hey Saraah how would you react if your sibling threatened your husband that they would hurt him if he hurt you? Would you be amused?

Saraah chokes on a laugh. “Oh, I would love to see that! Cledwyn won’t stand a chance!”

I’ve missed you so much! Now, I know you’re already been gossiping about MY romantic choices, so I want to hear about you! how’s Cledwyn treating you, dearest brother? Now don’t look around like that, I already made sure they’re not nearby. And you can be honest with me, you know.

“I've missed you too but was the ambush necessary?”

Saraah gets himself comfortable on a chair. “Well, my adorable sibling, I’ll let you know that Cled is the funniest, goofiest and also smartest man I know. He also has a lot of stamina so we spend a lot of time doing-“

When he gets stopped, Saraah snorts. “Oh, come on! I thought you wanted the details! But honestly, he respects me and values my opinions. The best thing mom and dad did for me was choosing him.”

CLEDWYN

What's your favorite thing about Saraah?

The answer is immediate, Cledwyn doesn’t even think about it. “That he laughs at my jokes.”

“No, really! I knew we would get along when at our second meeting I whispered a joke and he almost choked laughing. He laughed so loud for so long that when he stopped he was in tears and basically everyone was looking as us… it was adorable.”

Have you met any of Saraah's extensive family? What are your thoughts? And what's your own family like?

“I have to admit I have not interacted in person with any of them. Saraah talks rarely about his parents and while I’m aware he keeps in contact with some of his siblings, I don’t know much more than that. Obviously, his little siblings are the exceptions. Saraah’s eyes light up when he talks about them. It’s clear he loves them."

#HA YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS DIDN'T YOU?#instead here you go have some siblings love and enjoy cledwyn as well #q&a #saraah #adrei #cledwyn

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frannyzooey · 10 months

Note

Hiiii!

I gotta say this as I’ve just finished catching up on Short days… so I’ve been reading fanfics for almost 10 years now, and never before have I read a story from a writer who’s writing as gracefully as you do and it’s honestly a blessing to be able to read your fics, even if I wasn’t a TLOU fan, the relationship and the enviroment and just the soul of this story is enough to capture the attention of a reader so thank YOU!!

I don't even know what to say 🥺

I have honestly been a little worried I have been going too slow with this story - wondering if I am pacing it right, or if people are getting bored - and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this ask.

To know that you would love this fic outside of being a fan of the universe means everything: it's the kind of long form fic I love best and I have really tried to stay true to the themes, and a realistic timeline for healing (even if the pace might seem glacial at times).

Writing something "gracefully" is a compliment that I truly never thought I would receive and I am so incredibly grateful for your kindness, your sweet, thoughtful words and for your continued reading.

Knowing that you are out there and thinking these things not only makes me want to push myself harder on this story, but it also reassures me in a way I can't put into words. I'm going to keep this ask like a little treasure, to peek at on those days when I am doubting myself.

Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤

#short days ask

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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months

Note

Thank you for everything you do for us 🖤

Thank you so, so, SO much for this sweet message! 🩵

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but I cannot even begin to explain how much such a short, simple message like this brightens my day. And I'll be honest, I did cry for a good 10 minutes when I saw it, because it made me feel so incredibly good, and appreciated.

This is exactly what I needed today after going through some tough times with my mental health and depression, and almost giving up my writing altogether. Seeing this makes every second I put into my work worth it, even if it makes just one person happy.

Now that I am typing this, I am crying once again because I know I will never be able to put into words how extremely grateful I am, for you, but also for everyone else who supports me day in and day out.

Really, you have made my entire day so much brighter, and I cannot thank you enough for all your support and kind words you've given me over time.

I love you, from the bottom of my heart, and I need you to know that you are deeply appreciate, and once again, thank you so SO much for all your love and support, because it is people like you who keep me going day in and day out, on my good and bad days.

I love all of you, who have been supporting me from day one or who only started supporting me recently; I am so thankful for each and every one of you! Thank you all, for everything 🩵

Lots and LOTS of love from me 🖤

#i love you so much #this is just what i needed #you brightened my day immensely #thank you so much

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crescencestudio · 2 years

Text

Devlog #21 | 06.02.22

Hi everyone!

I don’t have much to update about today, but Alaris is VERY close to being completed!! I’m going to keep this one short and sweet - there may be some sneak peeks as we start wrapping things up so keep reading to see where we’re at as we get close to the finish line :’)

Demo Updates

Basically since the last devlog, I finished the alpha build for Alaris (ahhh???). I sent this out to playtesters to find coding errors, bugs, etc. and have been waiting for those comments to start coming in so I can clean the game for the final demo release.

And it’s a good thing I did because wow. I already have some code errors to fix (haha.. ha).

Other things I’ve been working on involve an updated prologue scene. For those of you who have played some of the released content, you may know how the beginning there’s a ~story~ giving you a bit of history. I’m working to make something more animated, so we’ll see how that turns out! I think it will have a more storybook feel, so I’m excited to see the end-product if I can make it work.

Other than that, I’ve been working on “release” stuff. Things like a trailer, key visual, and stuff to prepare for the official release and announcement.

Lastly, I have been working on the final, final script for the game.

So all in all, final edits for the script and coding errors. And getting ready for the release! It’s pretty crazy that we’re coming up to the end game now. I feel like I’ve been working on this forever, but also that I should have more things to do for some reason. It’s very... surreal.

Have a treat - I’ve shared these on Twitter, but think I should post them here as well! Sprite sheets for the Central gang, including their dragon energy/ dragon use “poses (specifically Kayn and Druk since they’re our action Drakes). You’ll be able to see these in action in the demo, so hope you’re excited!

With all that being said, I’d say game development is maybe at like 98%? It’s really just wrap-up things at this point. It’s hard to give an estimate of where things are at since a bit of it depends on how much I need to fix based on playtester feedback, as well as how much I want to edit for the script. But like I said I do have a release date in mind (o word??), so we’re VERY close to finishing :’)

Developer Ramblings

I recently reached about a year anniversary since I first started working on Alaris, and it’s crazy to see how far it’s come. I never would’ve imagined to have a game like Alaris at this point.

When I first started the game, I’d never made my own characters, my own story, much less my own game. I started everything from scratch, basically, from the writing, programming, etc. But it’s been so incredibly rewarding to learn what I have and see where the game has come. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined having voice actors interested in the game or to have the following I do (I’m still used to having around 80 followers in my mind), so I’m very thankful for everything.

At the same time, I’m a one-person developer team. I sometimes refer to myself as “we” as if there’s more than one person behind Studio Crescence, but really it’s just me lmao. So there have been times on this journey that it’s gotten lonely, and I saw a post recently that really spoke to me about it (it was from @tuffmallowinteractive). Especially recently, I’ve been getting in my head a lot lately about the demo - whether it’s good enough, whether people will like it, do I even like it (lol I’m really not selling this thing, am I), etc.

But now, there are people who actually talk to me sometimes (lol) and people who were interested enough in the game to be a volunteer playtester. So, just reflecting on everything, I’m very thankful, and while it is a struggle sometimes (imposter syndrome mainly), I’m grateful for a lot of this journey so thank you to anyone who’s followed along, whether from early on or recently <3

Anyways, that’s all for this update! Hope you’re all excited for release <3

#devlog #developer #game development #gamedev #indie games #indie game #indie #indie dev #otome #otome game #english otome #visual novel #romance visual novel #fantasy visual novel

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

Text

Dear Fucking Diary: Entry the 7th - Mini-Golf or Something that Requires a Bit More Stamina? Yeah, the second one.

This is a reposting cause the original chapter got taken down for being "e*plicit". 🙄 I'm hoping taking the word s*x out of the chapter title and giving it very PG rated gifs will keep it from being flagged again!

Pairings: Dean x Fem!OFC (Daisy)

Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Smut. P in V. Protected s*x. Oral (fem receiving) Fingering. Brief mentions of overstimulation.

Word Count: 4,719

DFD: Series Masterlist

Series Summary: I’ve been tasked with writing in this fucking diary like a some teenage girl. It sucks, but who else am I going to talk to about the incredible hottie who lives next door?

Chapter Summary: 7th Entry: K, it's gonna get a little steamy - beware!

A/N: This series has popped into my head from out of nowhere. It was supposed to be a whole other thing, but then it just morphed into this. (Cause I needed more series to work on! 🙄😄) Hope you like it, I should be releasing a new entry every few days, and I think there will be about 7 or 8 entries. The first entry is short and sweet, but most of the others will range between 1000 and 3000 words. Thanks everyone!! 🥰

A/N 2: This is a repost of this chapter because the original was flagged and hidden. 😠🤬 So, I'm gonna ask a big favour, could you guys give this a quick reblog, cause I lost all the notes on the previous post too. No need to comment, if you don't want to, don't even have to read it again if you don't want to. I'm so disappointed. I'm just incredibly grateful that I keep copies of all my fics on my computer. I'd be heartbroken to lose over 4,000 words of the story.

The awesome divider at the bottom is created by @talesmaniac89

Hey DD!

Well, that was a waste of time. I could have just kept writing! I got all the way down to Dr. Hailey's office just to have her receptionist tell me she'd gone home sick ten minutes before.

So, I still have no idea what she thinks of me sleeping with Dean. I guess I'm just gonna write it all out here and see what you think. And by you, I mean me, I'm gonna write it all out and see what I think.

After we finished dinner (Dean left Melissa a VERY large tip; I think he felt bad) we got back into Dean's car and headed to our second, surprise, destination.

After only a couple of blocks we pulled into the parking lot for "The Whirling Dervish Miniature Golf and Bumper Cars Emporium".

"Mini-golf?" I asked as I climbed out of the car.

"Yeah!" Dean smiled brightly and for just a moment, he looked like a little boy. Then his face fell into a frown. "Do you not like Mini-golf?"

"Oh sure, I do!" I reassured him quickly. Then I amended my statement. "I mean, I think I do. I don't really know. I've never played."

He looked dumbstruck. "You've never played mini-golf? Seriously?"

"Nope." I said with a chuckle. "But it always seemed fun." I made a swinging motion with my arms.

Dean laughed and then put his hand on both of mine and pushed them downwards from where I'd held them at about chest height.

"Lower your swing, sweetheart, it's golf not baseball."

I ducked my head with a smile. The shy posture was more a response to the endearment and the feeling of his big, rough hand on mine, than from any embarrassment about my golf swing.

I could feel sparks flare to life between us and immediately felt the pull towards him. He seemed to feel it too because he stepped closer to me.

"Actually," he said, his voice low and heated, "it's better for me if you don't know how to play."

"Better for you because then you can kick my ass?" I joked.

"No. Because then I can come up close behind you," he said, and proceeded to do just that, "and wrap my arms around you."

He caged me within the rock solid strength of his arms and took hold of both my hands.

"And under the guise of teaching you," he twisted our bodies slightly and then mimed a golf swing, "I get to feel you move against me."

I could feel the hard wall of his chest pressed up tight behind me and the scent of leather from his jacket combined with his own warm, masculine scent surrounded me and made me feel slightly dizzy.

He'd lowered his head so that it was just over my left shoulder and I turned to see his scruffy cheek only a few inches from my lips and my breath caught. Then he turned his face towards me and his mouth was right there and I knew I was lost.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, sliding them softly against his silky, warm mouth and sighing audibly.

God his lips were perfect; they parted slightly so he could suck my bottom lip between his, and I could feel the pull of it shoot into the core of me. I don't know if a simple kiss has ever turned me on so much.

After a moment of craning our necks trying to press closer, he turned me in his arms so I was facing him and one hand sank into my hair and fisted it while his other hand slid down to my lower back and pressed me tight against him.

I moaned at the power and strength I could feel beneath my hands as I slid them inside his leather jacket and around to his back. The muscles I could feel shifting there caused another soft moan to slip from my throat and another jolt of electricity to surge to the increasingly wet spot at the juncture of my thighs.

He walked me a couple of steps backward until we hit the side of the car and then lifted me easily to sit on the still warm hood. He moved between my legs and I instinctively opened them wider for him.

His mouth hadn't left mine for more than a heart beat through all of our movement but now he began to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses across my jaw and down my neck.

His hands travelled from my waist up inside my open jacket before slipping up past the hem of my sweater to press warm and rough against my back.

His fingers traced lazy patterns across my skin while his lips moved hot and hungry along the shoulder exposed by my sweater.

"God, Daisy," he mumbled low and gruff against my skin, "I've been wanting to do this all evening. Ever since you opened the door tonight. Your skin just looked so soft, and fuck, did I want to taste it."

He slid his tongue back to the hollow of my neck. "You're more delicious than I could have imagined. And Christ, sweetheart, I'm starving for you."

My stomach muscles clenched low in my belly at his words. His voice was like warm molasses, sweet and slow, dark and deep, and I was completely transfixed.

I tilted my head to the side to give him better access and he began to suck bruises into the skin up and down my neck and shoulder.

The cold air hit my heated skin where his lips and tongue had been, and it sent a chill up my spine. He pulled my jacket closed again and returned to smothering my mouth with his own. He kept his fists bunched in the sides of my jacket and used the grip to pull me close.

I pushed my hands up under his shirt, desperate to feel his taut skin under my fingers, forgetting that my hands are often cold and were especially cold on an early November evening.

Dean hissed and gasped against my lips and even though I felt bad and pulled my hands back from his skin, I can't deny the sound was hot af. It made me want to bring it out of him again, but for more pleasurable reasons than cold hands.

We spent a few more minutes kissing deeply, and soft moans of frustration kept slipping out of me when our jackets, jeans, and the November chill got in the way of us getting closer.

Finally Dean pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, his breathing ragged.

"Okay." He said and dragged in a long breath. "We should..." he made a vague motion toward the mini-golf course. "...before we...I mean..." He sighed deeply. "I'm about one more kiss away from throwing you into the back seat and saying to hell with mini-golf."

He chuckled and I laughed softly with him, but my heart was hammering against my chest and so many dirty ideas were swirling in my mind.

"Well..." I began and caught his gaze, as I tried to gauge his reaction. "I mean...you could always teach me mini-golf another time." I spoke softly, hardly believing the audacity and boldness of my own words. But I refused to duck my head or break his gaze, determined to know what he was thinking.

I was pretty sure I had my answer as I watched his eyes become hooded and heat pool in them. His jaw clenched briefly before he licked his lips and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it. My mouth watered watching him and wetness gathered elsewhere as well.

"You sure?" He asked quietly.

I nodded. "Completely sure. But," I grinned at him, "as much as I'd love to have some fun in the back seat of this beauty, it's probably infinitely warmer and roomier at either one of our apartments and we're less than fifteen minutes away. I might be able to last that long. What about you?"

He pulled me tight against him and buried his tongue in my mouth, kissing me hard and fast before lifting me back to the ground.

"Okay, but let's hurry."

No more than ten minutes later we were walking up the stairs to our apartments. Boy does he know how to handle that tank of a car.

Why was his ability to drive his car so fast, but so well, such a ridiculous turn on?

Dean was holding my hand and as we reached the landing between flights he pulled me against him and then pressed me up against the wall as he had earlier in the day. This time though he also pushed a thick thigh between my own, settling it so that I was pretty much sitting on it.

I can't begin to describe how incredible that felt. I couldn't help it, as he kissed me senseless once again I began to grind down against his muscular leg and holy shit! My body exploded with heat and a shockwave of tingling pleasure suffused my entire being.

My pleasure was only intensified when Dean moaned raggedly into my mouth and lifted his knee to better connect with my core the next time I ground against him.

I'm not sure that we wouldn't have just ripped each other's clothes off right there if we weren't suddenly interrupted by a middle aged lady coming through the doors to the stairwell.

I just caught her look of judgement before Dean grinned at her and winked and she turned into a sixteen year old blushing girl, giggling slightly and carrying on her way. I was happy to see I wasn't the only grown woman who turned back into a silly teenager every time Dean looked my direction.

As she passed us, Dean grabbed my hand and practically hauled me up the stairs. I laughed and stumbled up the last step, punch drunk on his kisses and the feel of his body against mine.

As soon as I stumbled, Dean bent and scooped me up to carry me down the hallway. I laughed again, breathless, and hit his shoulder.

"Put me down, you idiot."

"Nope, a broken neck could really put a damper on our evening." He said and got to his place in about four of his incredibly long strides. Since his apartment was first along the hallway that's where we ended up. I realized that I'd never actually been in his apartment, we'd always met up in mine.

He set me down to pull out his keys, but held on to my hand and pulled me into the apartment after him.

His place was a lot neater than I would have expected for a bachelor mechanic, but I could still see some clutter here and there, and even better, he had a sink full of dishes from earlier in the day. I couldn't explain why these small messes and imperfections made me happy. Except that Mr. Control-Everything never allowed any clutter, and dishes were to be washed after every single meal. Always.

I shook the asshole out of my head and focused on Dean as he lit the few lamps in his living room, allowing a soft glow to surround us.

He came back to where I awkwardly stood just inside the door and took my jacket off, hanging it beside his, and leading me over to the couch, where he sat down close beside me.

For some reason it hit me in that moment that all the women I'd heard through my paper thin walls had likely come in this same way, hot and desperate for him, watching him light up the living room with a seductive light and then sitting beside him on the couch. Or did he usually take them straight to the bedroom?

As though he was reading my mind, he pulled back a little and dropped my hand. He smiled his slightly bashful smile and again his hand found the back of his neck and he rubbed it gently.

"Look, if you've changed your mind, that's okay." He nodded toward his TV. "We can just...Netflix and not chill."

I chuckled and ducked my head again and wondered for the first and only time that night whether I was making a mistake. I'd only known him less than a month, this was the very first time we'd gone out, maybe I should just wait.

But then I looked into his eyes and said, Fuck that.

This man was beautiful beyond belief, he was sexy as hell and his hands and mouth were so incredibly talented. He was also kind and funny, and Jesus Christ, I wanted him so badly.

So, I just shook my head and pulled his face toward mine. "I haven't changed my mind." I said softly. "I want you, Dean. I want you to touch me, kiss me, fuck me." I turned red at my own dirty words, but I wanted there to be no confusion.

Dean's exhale turned into a growl and he leaned the rest of the way in and claimed my lips in a scorching, frenzied kiss. His lips were hot, wet, and everywhere.

I simply gave myself up to him and what started out in a frenzy, slowed into an endless seduction of his fingertips dragging across my skin, his hands pressing against my flesh with the exact right pressure to make me desperate for more. His mouth was a languid, continuous promise of more pleasure.

When he'd laid his lips against every inch of skin above the neckline of my sweater, he looked at me, his jewel green eyes having darkened to the color of a forest in the rain.

"Lift up your arms." He commanded and I happily obeyed, letting him pull the garment off my body.

He stared at my lace covered breasts and the look on his face made me eternally grateful that I had opted to go with the sexy, black bra and panties set I was wearing rather than the infinitely more comfortable sports bra and granny panties I'd been contemplating.

He rubbed his thumb over my nipple, through the lace and I shuddered.

He pulled back slightly and nodded toward my bra. "Take it off for me, sweetheart. Slowly."

I shuddered again at the primal look of heat and desire on his face and I reached behind me to do what he asked.

As I let my bra straps fall from my shoulders, Dean groaned.

"Fucking, hell, Daisy." He said and he sounded pained just before he set his mouth to my breast, laving at my nipple and then blowing gently across the wet skin. It constricted into a little rosebud, and he sucked the puckered nub between his lips before sinking his teeth slowly into the sensitive flesh.

I cried out and my back arched into his body, and I was desperate to even the playing field. I pushed on his shoulders. "Your turn." I said and waved toward his olive green button down.

He slowly unbuttoned the shirt, taking his time and enjoying my impatience as I pushed away his hands and swiftly pulled the buttons from their holes. I may have accidentally on purpose ripped open the last couple.

As I smoothed the shirt back over his shoulders I could feel myself getting wetter just looking at the wide expanse of lightly freckled skin stretched tight over thick muscles. He was so broad and solid I was instantly desperate to have him crush me into the couch, or the bed. Or the floor, or a particularly sturdy table.

I swept my hands down his torso and leaned forward to flick my tongue against his darkened nipple. I looked up at his face as I did and saw his face flinch with pleasure before he hauled me back and stood up. Before I could even blink he'd picked me up and was walking down the short hallway toward his bedroom.

"I need more space." He said as he laid me out against the pillows and then moved to the end of the bed to crawl up and kneel between my thighs.

"I wanna be able to see every inch of you. I wanna see the goosebumps erupt on your skin."

He dragged his fingers across my stomach causing that just that exact reaction. His hand moved to the button of my jeans and my breathing picked up.

"I wanna watch your breath catch when I do this." He popped the button open and then slowly slid them over my hips and off. Sure enough, I went from breathing too fast to not breathing at all.

Dean rubbed his forefinger against my soaked panties and I bucked against his hand, still holding my breath.

"Breathe." He said slowly, a whispered word that reminded me to take oxygen back into my starved lungs and I gasped in the needed air as he slowly pulled my lacy underwear off of me, leaving me completely exposed under his gaze.

In all the times I had imagined this moment, it may have been the focus of one or two day dreams over the last few weeks, I had always pictured myself with some clothing on, or envisioned the scene in a darkened room, sure that I would be too self-conscious to be completely naked, all of me visible for him to stare at.

But then, in my dreams I had never imagined he would look at me like that. A look that was all hunger and primal need. He was looking at me (me!) like he was desperate for me, like I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Daisy." He said and his voice was gravelly and raw. "My god, sweetheart, I just..."

He didn't seem to be able to find words and the knowledge that I was making him speechless made me glow and feel the most powerful and the sexiest I've ever felt.

He stretched out on the bed, with his wide shoulders between my thighs and turned his head to press wet kisses into the soft flesh of my thighs. Ordinarily I would worry that my thighs were too thick, that they were too fleshy, but the way he sank his blunt fingernails into that fleshiness and moaned, let me know, he loved them, found pleasure in them.

So I once again simply gave myself up to the fierce pleasure he was arousing in my body as he sucked and bit the skin there, leaving marks that I knew I'd see for days after, like physical reminders of the bliss he was bringing me.

He brought his mouth to my dripping center and I bucked up off the bed. Dean threw my right leg over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around my left leg so that he could press his big hand down against my lower belly and hold me in place while his tongue went to work.

Over and over again he brought me to the edge, just to pull back and leave me desperately chasing his mouth, pushing my body down toward him, or gripping his hair and trying to push his face back where I needed it.

But he was way too strong and he wouldn't be rushed. When my first shattering orgasm happened, my thighs automatically tightened around his head as I screamed out my pleasure. But he simply pulled them apart again, so he could keep me open and enjoy me like a starving man at a buffet.

He pulled three orgasms out of me with his mouth alone. Finally when I felt like I might pass out if he didn't stop, he pulled away and stood up. He took off his jeans and I was treated to the sight of those boxer briefs I had been ogling in the laundry room.

He reached to pull them down, but I held up my hand. "Wait, can you...turn around?" I asked, my throat hoarse from my continuous cries of pleasure. "I really wanna check out your insanely hot ass."

His bashful smile was back and it made me want to cuddle him. How could he possibly be bashful after everything he'd done to me? He turned obligingly and I reached out and ran my hand over the perfectly firm, round, work of art that was Dean's ass.

"Fuck me." I said under my breath.

He turned back around and the bashful boy was gone again, his grin being decidedly wicked.

"That's the idea, sweetheart."

I giggled and then stopped breathing as he whipped down his boxers and I was finally able to see what all the fuss had been about. Let me simply say that my predecessors were NOT exaggerating. I was momentarily concerned about being split in two, before deciding it would be a hell of a way to go.

He reached into the drawer beside the bed and ripped open the condom packet he found there. He rolled the latex over his incredibly hard cock and I made a mental note to be the one to do it next time.

Fuck, let there be a next time!

Dean laid down beside me, and ran his hand up and down my body, gentle circles that soothed even as they excited. Eventually, his fingers found their way to the slick folds he'd given so much attention to earlier.

"How do you feel?" He asked, his fingers soft and gentle as the moved through my wetness. "Do you need more time? Are you too sensitive?"

Now, I can't tell you why this question brought tears to my eyes. Dean had already proved himself to be a deeply caring, sensitive lover, constantly in tune with his partner's body. So, the question really shouldn't have surprised me.

But there was something about the care in his expression, the gentle way he was touching me; this question wasn't about the sex, it wasn't even about giving me pleasure, it was more about making sure I was good, making sure I felt safe and okay to continue.

I couldn't and still can't remember if I've ever felt that cared for, that looked after. I don't mean just during sex (definitely never then!) but like, ever, with any partner I'd been with. Maybe, but I couldn't remember when. Certainly not with The Terror.

Unfortunately, my tears made Dean's face crumple with concern and worry. As soon as I saw his expression I shook my head. "No, Dean. Yes."

Amazingly that really clear and understandable sentence didn't seem to ease his concern and he started to pull away.

I grabbed hold of his shoulder and pulled him back against me. "I'm sorry, I mean, no I'm not too sensitive anymore, and I feel incredible." I waved a hand towards my wet eyes. "These are happy tears, promise."

His expression softened and he pulled me up against his side and turned so that we were face to face. He pushed my hair back off my forehead and placed feather light kisses there and down my nose. I felt precious and cherished and more tears welled up.

This time Dean just caught them on his thumb and then kissed my eyelids too. "Still happy ones?" he checked.

I nodded and smiled at him before pulling him down for a long, soft, gentle kiss. He sipped at my lips, and I sighed into his mouth.

I could feel his length between us, still rock hard. I reached down to grasp his thickness in my hand and the sound he'd made earlier, that hiss and gasp, issued from his mouth again as his eyes closed tight and his chin thrust forward.

With his head thrown back I had access to the underside of his jaw and I took the chance nibble his skin there. I also enjoyed being able to lick and suck along the column of his throat and the thick corded muscle in his neck.

Then I took his condom-covered cock and ran it through the folds of my body, lubricating it before I eased it inside myself. He was thick and long, but I didn't have to worry, he fit inside me as though we were two puzzle pieces finely fitted back together.

He pulled my leg up high against his hip and the new angle allowed him to drag over the soft spongey spot inside me that no one but me had ever been able to find.

We stayed pressed together tightly, skin to skin, sweat-slicked and hot. His thrusts started shallow, more grinding than thrusting, but as our bodies sought out our gratification, his thrusts got stronger, deeper, and I was slamming myself against him, desperate to get him even deeper still.

He rolled me over so that he was on top of me, then lifted my legs and draped them over his arms, using them as leverage to slam into me, hard. The position had him thrusting so deep I could feel him hit my cervix with every push and after only three or four thrusts, I came apart for the fourth time.

Within the haze of my own climax I heard Dean yell out, my name and curses blending together. Then I felt his body shudder and stiffen against me. He let my legs drop so he could fall on me, bracing some of his weight on his forearms but giving me that weighted feeling I'd been craving earlier. His hot breath against the side of my neck felt warm and soothing as I came down from my high.

Ever so slowly we came back to reality and Dean rolled off of me, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the waste basket beside the bed. He grabbed some tissues from the table and cleaned me up as well.

He then readjusted us slightly so that we could both lay under the covers and warm our rapidly cooling skin.

He pulled me up close against his chest and let his fingers trail up and down my arm.

"Fuck, Daisy, you're amazing." He said, his voice a warm rumble.

I ran my hand across his chest and smiled against his shoulder where I lay. "Right back atcha, honey."

I felt Dean smile as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head and we both fell asleep, contended and exhausted.

So, that's it DD. That was my earth-shattering night of incredible sex. Incredible not just because Dean was a skilled lover or because he knew exactly where to press against my body and just where to put his mouth to bring about the most pleasure.

It was incredible because Dean is a beautiful man in every sense of that word. Incredible because I've never known anyone like him, incredible because...

Oh, fuck! Damn it!! I don't even want to write it down!

I might be falling in love with him.

No. Absolutely not - this is completely stupid. I barely know him. Jesus Daisy, get a grip - what is wrong with you? You rushed in once before, remember that? Didn't exactly work out the way you'd imagined in your naïve little brain, did it?

But fuck me, I wrote this out here so I could get an idea of what I feel and what I think about sleeping with Dean, and the truth is I think it's made me want something that's impossible, something that is ridiculous and stupid to imagine.

I mean for god's sake, I've heard the screaming girls on the other side of the wall. I know how many of them were just like me - a good time, wonderful sex, and then a goodbye in the morning.

Granted, he didn't put me in a cab this morning when we said goodbye. He walked me to my apartment in his pajama bottoms and bare feet and kissed me goodbye. But doesn't it amount to the same thing?

I heard how desperate Lois sounded when she refused to take Dean's gentle and then not-so-gentle no for an answer. Is that gonna be me next? Chasing after him, sure that he must love me?

Pathetic.

Oh fuck! I said it before and I'll say it again, I think I'm screwed.

Continue

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#dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester smut #dean x ofc #spn fan fic series #dfd: entry the 7th #mini-golf or something that requires a bit more stamina? yeah the second one

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