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#the most interesting part is that i feel completely fine like i mostly just needed to be let out to see sunlight and get exercise

jeneveuxrein · 6 months

Text

safety net [1/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 25.8K

part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)

(thanks to everyone who read the first story i published, truly appreciate it! this one's more plot than anything with a smidgen of you know)

“Hey.”

You glance away from your screen to Park Chaeyoung standing in front of you, a determined look on her face. You prefer to call her Rosie, mostly because you know how much it irritates her, and you’re the only one that calls her by her English name.

“Uh hey Rosie,” You greet, slightly closing your laptop. “What’s up?”

“I have a proposition for you,” Rosie leans over the table. “And please listen to it before you flat out say no.”

You raise an eyebrow, shutting your laptop completely. You start packing your belongings.

“Wait what? What’re you doing?” Rosie straightens, taking a step back.

“Well I’m hungry, and if I have to listen to you, I would rather do it while I’m eating,” You swing your backpack over one shoulder, adding, “You’re paying by the way.”

As you walk away, you hear Rosie huff. You smirk when her arm loops with yours.

“Fine,” You don’t have to look at her to know she’s pouting, but you wonder what, of all things, she needs you for.

Guess you’ll find out.

The server places your orders in front of you, as Rosie sits across from you, sipping her iced coffee. You give a small thanks as your mouth waters at the sight of the burger.

“You act like you don’t eat,” Rosie comments after you take the first bite. You flip her off after taking another bite. You hadn’t eaten lunch, so you were starving.

“What do you want?” You ask before you continue eating, ignoring her comment. No matter what, you were ravenous. This burger would be gone before she finished.

“Okay,” Rosie takes a breath, composing herself. You realize that whatever she’s going to ask you is big, especially if she’s asking you. Though, you keep eating. “So you know how I’ve never been in a relationship right?”

You nod. It wasn’t any of your business, nor did you pay any attention to her dating life specifically, but your friends, the girls mostly, commented a lot about her lack of dating, or really lack of interest in anyone.

“Well, there’s this guy who I’ve been talking to lately and I think I like him,” Rosie takes a small bite of her salad. “The only problem is my, I guess, experience, if you’re catching my drift.”

This burger is too good for you to stop eating, but you nod anyways, having absolutely no idea what she’s referring to.

“I was wondering if you could help me in that department,” You raise an eyebrow, which you’re paying attention now. “I mean, will you show me how to have sex?”

You choke, being mid-bite, that the burger falls apart onto the plate. You cough as Rosie’s suddenly next to you, hitting your back.

“Oh my god, are you alright?” Rosie asks once you’ve stopped coughing.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You nod, waving off the server who was walking towards your table. “I’m good,” You repeat and Rosie takes her seat again.

“So? What do you say?”

“No,” You say flatly, staring at the deconstructed burger on your plate. Thankfully you finished most of it, but still.

“What? Why?” Rosie crosses her arms, eyes narrowing.

It doesn’t faze you. You’re used to this, especially if it’s with Rosie.

“First let me ask, why me?” You attempt to put the burger back together, distracting yourself from the thoughts of Rosie like that.

“Well, it was Jennie’s idea really,” Rosie confesses, watching you rearrange the meat patty. “She said that if I want to feel comfortable doing stuff with Soohyun, I should just get it over with.”

Choi Soohyun, the rich pretty boy at your university. You’ve met him a few times, and he’s nice enough. You know his track record with women is on par with yours, but the difference is that he uses his father’s money to pull them in. You, on the other hand, come from a relatively wealthy family as well, but only Rosie and her three best friends know that.

“And it has to be me?” You ask bluntly, appetite suddenly gone as you push the plate away.

“Yes,” Rosie nods enthusiastically, “As much as everyone calls you a playboy, girls talk. You allegedly know your way around a bedroom, and what better way for me to learn is from you.”

“Chaeyoung, absolutely not,” Using her real name was only saved for serious moments, and this was way too serious for a Tuesday afternoon.

“Why not?” Rosie argues, rolling her eyes. “It’s just sex, isn’t that what all guys want?”

“I’m not sure what guys you’ve been hanging out with, but no, not all guys want just sex,” You mock, leaning back into the chair. “And shouldn’t your first time be special with someone you actually, I don’t know, like?”

“In an ideal world, yes,” Chaeyoung answers, aggressively stabbing a piece of lettuce. “But I don’t care much for that stuff. You’re not answering my question, why won’t you have sex with me?”

There was a list of reasons you could think of as to why you won’t have sex with Rosie.

Number one, and the only one you were concerned about, being the history you have together.

You’ve been sworn enemies since middle school, but there was a time before that where you were actually close. You grew up in the house next to hers, and your parents set up multiple play dates that she was someone you enjoyed spending time with. You considered her your best friend. It changed in middle school, for reasons you still didn’t know. You didn’t have the mental capacity at that age to fix it because you missed her, but you’ve never told her that.

In high school, it was better, but you feigned indifference while she flat out ignored you. Unless your families were having dinner, but even then that consisted of snarky comments and petty arguments. The amount of times her older sister had to step in were too many to count.

You thought university would be your fresh start, but lo and behold, you couldn’t seem to shake her presence from your life. You thought you wouldn’t see her as much since you were taking different subjects, but your friends ran in the same circle, so you saw her more than you needed to.

“Do you not find me attractive?” Rosie’s question catches you off guard when you don’t respond.

You’d be lying if you said no. You’ve been a witness to Rosie turning into a beautiful woman, but if she knew that, especially coming from you, her ego would skyrocket. A lot of the men, even women, on campus have a crush on her, but she typically rejected anyone because she was too focused on school and her dream of becoming a fashion designer—something she was very close to achieving with the amount of internships she’s been receiving from companies abroad.

“Shut up, you know it’s not that,” You mumble, ignoring the smirk forming on Rosie’s face. “It’s you and me. We haven’t gotten along since we were like seven, now all of a sudden, you want to,” You pause, thinking of how to say it, “Have sex with me because of what you’ve heard?”

“Look,” Rosie sighs, face falling. You detect the desperation, but she’d never admit it. “I know our relationship is complicated, but you’re the only guy I can trust to do this. Jungkook would blab. Taehyung would be an ass. And Yoongi’s too nice. Everyone else has a girlfriend who I very much would like to stay friends with. Can’t we just put the past behind us?”

You didn’t want to further complicate things. At best, you two were civil. At worst, Rosie would be yelling at you along with repeatedly hitting your shoulder to take back whatever set her off.

Adding sex into the mix? It’s a bomb waiting to go off.

“I don’t know, Chaeyoung,” You say softly, pushing your plate away. “As much as you’re a pain in my ass, I don’t think I could do that with you. It would feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

Her face softens, and she reaches for your hand, “You’re not taking advantage of me. If anything, I’m taking advantage of you. It’s not like we have feelings for each other right?”

You don’t, as far as you’re aware, but you have always, and will always, have a soft spot for her. You may not have gotten along over the years, but you’d still have her back. If she means what she says about her trusting you out of all the friends she has, it’s important.

“No,” It feels off saying that, but you ignore it. “Fine,” You relent. You couldn’t believe you were agreeing. “But we have to set rules.”

“Really?” Rosie beams, clapping her hands. “Yes yes, of course.”

“Uh, first rule, we’ll do it at my place since I live alone. I don’t need Jennie or Lisa or Jisoo hovering,” You say, which she nods. You love the girls, hell you’ve slept with Jennie on a couple occasions, but they can be nosey and overly critical.

“That makes sense. Rule number two, no sleeping over,” She makes a face, “I will literally bring you home if it’s super late, or I’ll just bring you home in general.”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Rosie rolls her eyes.

“I know I don’t, but I’m not budging,” You’re firm about that. Your parents would kill you if anything happened to Rosie and you were the last person to see her.

“Rule three, if you sleep with other people, please let me know and use a fucking condom,” Rosie says, “I don’t want my first time to end up with a disease.”

You’re slightly offended because as much as you have sex, you are safe. Even when girls don’t want to use protection, you do.

“Obviously I will.”

“Good,” Rosie nods, “Last rule, no feelings. If at any point you or I feel something more than our mutual disdain for each other, we stop.”

“Okay,” You roll your eyes, “Like I’d ever fall for you, but fine.”

A pit forms in your stomach after saying that, but again, you brush it off.

“Right back at ya,” Rosie winks, smiling brightly that she accomplished her mission. “So what’re you doing tonight? Can we start?”

You nearly choke on your saliva, eyes bugging out as Rosie looks completely serious.

“Uh,” You don’t have anything planned. You still have to finish the budget report your professor assigned, but it wasn’t due for another week. “You want to start tonight?”

“The sooner, the better right?”

“Okay,” You nod, suddenly nervous about this whole situation. “Okay,” You say a bit more confidently. “You’re paying for this.”

“I know,” Rosie chuckles, signaling to the server for the bill.

What did you get yourself into?

You open the door for Rosie, letting her in first before following. You shut the door while she takes off her shoes, neatly placing them to the side as you take off your coat.

“So this is your place,” Rosie comments, walking along the wall as she inspects the photos. It is her first time here, not that she was never welcomed. Your apartment has always been your safe place, only allowing a select few here. “Did you take these?”

“Yeah, I’m minoring in photography, so,” You shrug, walking past her as she stares at a photo from Jennie’s birthday. “I’m going to change into sweats, did you need anything? Water? Soju?” You offer because you’re considering taking a shot before you get started to ease your nerves.

Rosie laughs, shaking her head, “Soju? Really? You need that?”

“Don’t make fun of me. It isn’t every day that one of the hottest girls at school asks me to teach her to have sex,” You mutter, but Rosie hears you loud and clear.

“You admit that I’m hot then?” You swear you can hear her smirking behind you.

“Fuck off, help yourself to whatever,” You roll your eyes as she laughs.

You don’t bother entertaining her any longer, making your way to your room. You change into something comfy—grey sweats and a white shirt. You hadn’t expected company tonight, nor had you expected having sex. It’s been about a week since, even though your ex-girlfriend messaged you about hooking up for fun the other day. You didn’t even respond, knowing that would just end up messy.

When you return to the living room, Rosie sits on your couch, legs crossed as she types away on her phone. You’d bet she was texting Jennie.

“So how do you want to do this?” You ask awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck as you sit next to her. You leave a decent amount of space in between, not wanting to seem too eager.

“I don’t know,” Rosie sighs, “Is there a way we can just ease into it?”

“Like making out and stuff?” You’ve never spoken about sex so mechanically, that this is a first for you too.

“I guess? I don’t really know how to start this,” Rosie says unsurely, looking away.

“Hey,” You reach over, a finger gently tilting her chin to look at you, “There’s no pressure okay? We can just watch TV first and go from there. We literally don’t even have to do anything. As long as you’re comfortable.”

You watch her lip quiver. You hope she doesn’t cry. The last girl you made cry was Nayeon when you broke up with her.

“Okay,” Rosie nods, leaning into your hand. “Thanks again for this. I know this whole situation is awkward.”

“Stop,” You wave dismissively, rubbing her cheek with your thumb. “It’s important to you, so I guess by default it’s important to me. Your pace,” You smile.

When Rosie smiles back, you can feel something itch behind your rib cage. You quickly shake that away before retracting your hand. “Here,” You grab the remote, “Put something on, I’ll get us drinks.”

“Oh there’s this new Netflix reality show I want to watch,” You hear Rosie say as you walk to the kitchen.

You didn’t have that much to offer, since you hadn’t had the time to head to the store. You do opt for a couple bottles of soju to ease both of your nerves along with water because hydration matters. You peruse your pantry and there’s a bag of unopened chips, figuring that would be good to have too. At least for yourself to keep your hands busy.

When you return to the couch, placing the items on the coffee table, you see the opening credits of what looks like university students?

“What’s this about?” You ask. This time, you sit closer to her, so that any shift in your leg, your knees would touch.

Rosie goes on to explain the premise of the show, where people are about to be of legal age and how they form relationships in two different settings. She heard about the show from Lisa who binged it with Jennie in one night.

“Is this sappy?” You pour a shot each, handing Rosie the glass.

“Probably, but it’s wholesome,” Rosie raises the glass, “To my virginity?”

“I’m absolutely not toasting to that,” You roll your eyes, taking the shot without waiting.

Rosie scoffs, downing the drink in one go before putting the glass on the coffee table. “You’re so annoying sometimes.”

You don’t respond, instead choosing to pour another shot as the contestants of the show enter the classroom. You usually don’t drink this much on a weekday, but this situation warrants it. It feels surreal to be with Rosie, alone, in your apartment of all places. You couldn’t remember the last time you were willingly alone with her, but the thought of those memories were tucked away.

“Here,” Rosie grimaces at the drink. “Just one more.”

Rosie relents, taking the shot without making another annoying toast. You smirk before following. The liquid goes down smooth, but you feel the effects starting. Your cheeks feel warm, soothing some–not all–of the nerves.

You lean back into the couch, throwing an arm casually over the cushion. Rosie automatically leans into you, sighing deeply before resting her head on your shoulder.

“You smell good,” Rosie comments, snuggling deeper into your side. The compliment throws you off because she hadn’t said anything remotely nice to you in years.

“Uh thanks,” You bring your free hand to scratch the back of your neck. Rosie doesn’t say anything else, nor do you. You settle in, letting what’s on the screen take your attention.

The show is corny, but you understand why Rosie said it’s wholesome. The sense of innocence and pureness everyone has when it comes to relationships is something you miss. You hadn’t had that kind of outlook in years, which slightly makes you want to go into your future relationships more honest about how you feel.

But Nayeon cheating on you over a year ago left its damage on you.

You’d never be disrespectful towards women, but you were upfront that whatever you did with them would never be serious. You couldn’t let it get too intense. Sure they’d always want more, but you couldn’t give yourself to someone like that again.

At least not yet.

“What’re you thinking about?” Rosie asks after a few minutes, resting her hand on your stomach.

“Nayeon,” You say simply.

She raises her head to look at you, “Huh, what why? Didn’t you break up like last year?”

“This show’s making me a little sentimental,” You say sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Why’d you two break up anyways?”

“What’d you hear?” You prod, curious as to what Nayeon told people.

“According to Jennie, who heard it from Sana, Nayeon was tired of arguing,” Rosie furrows her eyebrows as she remembers what she heard.

That’s one way to put it.

“Ah well I guess so,” You shrug.

“There’s more to it huh?” She's as perceptive as ever.

“She cheated on me,” Rosie’s eyes widened. “We got into an argument about her meeting my parents. She kept pushing the issue, but you know how my parents are. She storms out and next thing you know, I’m getting a call from Jungkook to come to this party to pick up Nayeon cause she’s wasted.”

You remember that night clearly, something you wanted to very much forget.

“I got there. I’m looking all over for her, Jungkook and Taehyung have no idea where she went. We pretty much split up looking for her, and lucky me, the first door I opened, Nayeon’s naked, on top of some guy.”

Rosie sits up straight, crossing her legs on the cushion as she faces you. The concerned expression etched on her face has you believing she almost cares, but you don’t.

“And she sees me, which immediately sobers her up. All I could do was nod, telling her that we’ll talk in the morning,” The memory still hurts to think about. “Nayeon, being Nayeon, followed me out, apologizing, saying it was a mistake.”

Rosie takes hold of your hand, and you let her. Letting this out feels nice since you hadn’t told anyone what happened. You told Nayeon to tell people whatever she felt was best, and you’d keep the real reason a secret.

“Anyways, next day, we talk and she’s sorry, of course, but she just didn’t understand what the big deal was. It’s not that I didn’t love her, cause I did, but I didn’t think we were there yet for her to meet them,” You sigh, shaking your head. “But yeah we broke up. I didn’t care what she said, and I didn’t defend myself when Sana and Jihyo cornered me, calling me an ass. I just started to sleep around, which probably was the reason why I got that playboy reputation.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Rosie says quietly after a minute, the words sinking in.

You smile sadly, “It wasn’t for anyone to know, but it’s okay. It really is. Relationships are messy, which is why I avoid any emotional connection with girls. Not because I think less of them, but because I think the least of myself in that regard.”

“Stop,” Rosie squeezes your hand, forcing you to look at her. “I don’t know how you are in relationships, but I’m sure that whoever you’re with is lucky.”

“You’re just saying that,” Self-deprecation is something you’ve mastered in the past year.

Rosie tugs your hand with enough force so your face is in front of hers. You could feel her breath against your skin, the faint smell of alcohol lingering. “Stop,” She whispers. “I’m not.”

Blame it on the alcohol. Blame it on the sudden confession of why you are the way you’ve been.

You kiss her, bringing your lips to hers. You sense her freeze, but she sighs softly after a moment. It ignites a fire in your chest, wanting nothing more than her close to you.

You pull away, leaning your forehead on hers. You open your eyes first to see hers closed.

“Sorry, I-”

“No,” Rosie cuts you off, cupping your face before kissing you again.

Out of pure reflex, you pull Rosie on top of you, straddling your thighs as you wrap your arms around her waist. She lets out a small oomph, which you pause, but she continues moving her lips against yours.

You dip your tongue in between her lips, earning a moan as she threads her fingers in your hair. A shiver goes down your spine as she tugs lightly, a move that turns you on immensely. Your cock stirs as her kisses become firmer, more sure.

Rosie’s body starts to move. It’s subtle, but her hips slightly shift, causing you to pull away, groaning.

“Chaeng,” You pant, hands gripping her waist to steady her.

“Am I doing something wrong?” Rosie asks softly, chest heaving as she rests her forehead on yours.

“No,” You kiss her on the nose. “You’re doing everything right. I just have to control myself,” You let out a breath.

“Would it be the worst thing if you lost control?” Rosie murmurs, pecking you softly on the lips.

The question goes straight to your cock. It doesn’t help that she’s seated right on top of it that you have to remember that this isn’t about you.

Yes is what you want to say because this is still new to her, and as lame as it sounds, like you actually care about her, you do want to make this enjoyable.

“I don’t know,” You shrug, loosening your grip. “But I don’t want to rush into it. Small steps right?”

“Right,” Rosie nods, kissing the corner of your mouth. “So what next?”

“Uh,” Your brain’s short circuiting because all the blood in your body seems to have rushed south. “Maybe just rock your hips and see how it feels?”

“Like this?” She gently rolls herself over you, testing the waters.

“Is it doing anything for you?” You grit out.

“I’m not sure, let me try again,” She rolls her body again, but with a little more pressure that she moans softly. “That did.”

It definitely did something for you because your cock stiffens at the contact.

“Just do what feels good for you,” Your head falls back as she repeats the motion, undulating her hips over your erection. “Yeah just like that,” You sigh, guiding her movements along your length.

All you feel is Rosie. She’s wearing leggings, but the friction over your sweats overwhelms your senses. You act on impulse, kissing her again. She returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm, grinding down.

You didn’t think dry humping would get you this worked up, but the small moans Rosie lets out against your lips has you hoping you don’t make a mess of yourself.

“Fuck,” Rosie moans, tearing her lips off yours as her rhythm falters.

It leaves her neck exposed, so you trail your lips along her chin, peppering soft bites that has her gripping your shoulders tightly.

You feel her nails digging into your skin. Her pace quickens before her body suddenly seizes, jerking on top of you, as she moans loudly.

Fuck she’s coming.

Doing what you can to prolong her orgasm, you rock up into her, hoping you’re hitting her clit at the right angle. Her body freezes, shaking that you didn’t have the reflex to control your own body before cumming into your sweats, groaning in the crook of her neck.

You hadn’t had a visceral response like that in years, but that was the hottest thing you’d ever experienced. The fact that Rosie got off by rubbing herself against you goes straight to your head.

Rosie’s breathing heavily against you, playing with the hairs on your neck as you try to regulate your own breath.

“I—fuck, I’m so sorry,” Rosie says softly, resting her butt on your thighs.

“What?” Your voice comes out hoarse. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t know,” She buries her head into your neck.

“That was hot,” You confess, placing a soft kiss on her neck. Her body shivers at the contact, causing you to smile.

“Really?” She sounds so unsure, that you don’t know how else to make her believe you.

“Really,” You pull back to her, avoiding your gaze. Her cheeks are flushed, hair a little wild, but she looks hot either way.

Maybe it was the release of hormones after an orgasm that could be clouding your thoughts, but you find her so attractive at this moment that you want to kiss her again.

“Did you, you know?” Rosie glances down, biting her lip.

“Uh,” You force out a chuckle. “Yeah… Sorry about that. I should probably change.”

“Right,” Rosie’s eyes stay looking at your crotch before she shakes her head. “Right,” She repeats and moves off your lap.

“Give me a few and I’ll drive you home, okay?” You stand, placing a hand over the wet spot on the fabric.

“You really don’t have to, I can call a car.”

“No,” Shaking your head, “I insist.”

“You’re so fucking stubborn sometimes,” And just like that, it’s back to normal.

“Yeah and you used me to cum, so,” She throws a pillow at you, which you easily dodge, laughing as you walk to your room.

Can we meet tonight?

The words glowing on your screen as you walk out of the building, just finished your last class of the day.

It’s been about a week since Rosie asked you. You hadn’t seen her, but she occasionally sent you articles regarding sex and if you ever experienced such things. The one that had you almost drop your phone was if you ever made a girl squirt, which you haven’t, but you explained not all girls can.

Instead of replying back with a message, you call her.

“Hello?”

“Where are you? We can do take away,” You offer, walking in the direction of where she might be.

“I’m in the music building with Jennie,” You immediately turn around to go the other direction.

“Okay I’m on the way, I’ll be there in a little,” You hang up without waiting for her to respond. You’ll probably get a slap or two, but it’s not like it matters.

By the time you reach the music building, Rosie and Jennie are outside, talking with another person. You can’t see who it is, but as you get closer, it’s Nayeon.

Fuck.

It wasn’t like Nayeon and you were on bad terms. You were always polite and treated her with the same respect you would like anyone else. It would just look suspicious to be walking alone with Rosie since she always made remarks about the weird feeling she got when you were in the same vicinity. She described it as unresolved sexual tension, but it never felt like that to you.

“Oppa,” Jennie greets, her gummy smile forming as you walk up to them. There’s a mischievous glint in her eyes as they dart between you and Rosie because of course she knows about the arrangement.

“Hey,” You smile, waving awkwardly to Nayeon.

Nayeon gives a small hi while Rosie slaps your shoulder, “That’s for hanging up on me.”

“Okay,” You rub where she hit. “Ready to go?” You ask, reaching for Rosie’s bag without thinking.

“Uh?” Jennie’s eyes widen while Nayeon’s narrow at the gesture. “How nice of you?” Rosie reluctantly hands over her bag.

You don’t know what came over you because you definitely didn’t just carry a girl’s bag, which Nayeon was very aware of. She knew you only carried stuff for the girl you’re dating, something she experienced firsthand.

“My way of saying sorry for hanging up on you,” You say smoothly. Her bag is heavy, which you hope they can’t tell you’re struggling.

“Nayeon was telling us about a party this weekend,” Jennie says.

“It’s Mina’s birthday,” Nayeon says softly, eyes on you. “You should come if you’re free.” There’s a hopeful tone in her voice.

“Um,” You’re put on the spot, wracking your brain for any excuse, but Rosie saves you.

“Don’t we have dinner with our parents? If we get back early enough, you could probably make it.”

You try to ignore the way Nayeon’s face falls, but you can’t ignore Jennie’s confusion since she obviously would’ve known.

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” You play along. You hadn’t had a family dinner in months, but it was a somewhat believable excuse. “I’ll see if I can make it.”

You listen as the girls say bye, Jennie opting to walk with Nayeon to catch up. When the two women leave, Rosie tries grabbing her bag back.

“What’re you doing?” She huffs when you don’t let go.

“I can carry my own bag, you know,” Rosie walks in front of you, clearly annoyed.

“I know, but just let me do this for you.”

“You’re most likely giving me an orgasm tonight, you’re doing enough,” Rosie rolls her eyes, attempting once again. “I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

“Fine, here,” Her comment pisses you off, but she has a point. The university playboy holding the bag of one of the most wanted girls on campus? That would surely be part of the gossip mill. You hand over the bag, a muttered thanks makes you roll your eyes.

“You’re paying for dinner tonight,” Rosie states.

You honestly already planned to, but you nod anyway.

“Can you take your shirt off?” Rosie asks, out of breath, as you hover over her.

“Uh yeah,” You lean back, pulling your shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere to the side before bringing your lips back to hers.

That same show plays in the background, unopened food forgotten on the coffee table. The plan was to eat then fool around, but Rosie had something else in mind.

“Okay don’t let this get to your head,” Rosie says against your lips, in between kisses, trailing a finger over your abdomen, “But you’re actually hot.”

The muscles flex under her touch, that you pull her body to the edge of the couch cushion, “I know,” You smirk, dipping a hand underneath her blouse. “Is this okay?” You ask.

“More than okay,” Rosie spreads her legs wider to let you rest in between.

You grind yourself against the apex of her thighs, thankful she wore a skirt today. She moans as it spurs you on to do it again. Mimicking the motion of thrusting in and out of her has your imagination running wild as to what it will be like when you’re actually inside her.

“Fuck,” Rosie grips your arms as you continue the motion. “Don’t stop.”

You won’t until she cums, and her back arches as she rolls her hips down to meet your thrusts. After one particularly hard thrust, her body tenses and bingo.

“There?” You breathe out as you hit the same spot again. She nods, as you watch her face scrunch up. “Gonna cum for me?”

“Yeah,” Her eyes open, gaze locked in between your legs. “Fuck, Jennie was right. You’re huge.”

As if your ego couldn’t get any bigger. You’re sure she felt just how big you were last week, but she most likely didn’t see it. It probably didn’t help that you were wearing sweats that accentuated your size.

“Thanks,” You grunt, too focused on her pleasure and your own.

You flip her skirt up, mouth watering at the sight of her choice in lingerie. A simple lavender thong with a small bow at the waistband has your hips rutting into her faster.

“Fuck you’re so hot,” You bite your lip, head thrown back as she moans louder.

“I think I’m—oh shit,” Rosie’s body tenses in your hands, back arching as her orgasm washes over her. You feel her clit pulse through your sweats that you continue grinding against her.

You’re more composed this time and don’t prematurely cum. However, your cock hurts from not having a release. You’ll likely just suffer through it and deal with your problem after you drop her off.

You don’t move from your position, keeping the pressure of Rosie’s cloth-covered pussy against you. You might not get to cum, but it still feels nice. After a few minutes of her regulating her breathing and you thinking of everything not related to fucking her, she smiles up at you. You return the smile, tickling her skin that she squirms in your hold.

“Stop!” She slaps your arm. “You know I’m ticklish.”

“I know,” You fold over, resting your head on her stomach. “Was that okay?” Her skirt hasn’t moved, and you’re trying very hard not to touch her there.

“Yeah, that was… something,” Rosie sighs, placing her hand lazily on your head, lightly scratching. “Can you do something else since we’re already here?”

“Sure, what?” You look up to Rosie biting her lip.

“Can you touch me?” Rosie asks softly, adding, “Like down there?”

Your palm twitches at the request, hell, your cock twitches too.

“Uh, yeah,” You push yourself up, kneeling in between her legs. They try to close, but with how you’re positioned, it doesn’t go very far. “Just let me know if anything hurts, I’ll stop.”

Rosie nods, giving you the signal to do something. What you really wanted to do was find out how she tastes, but you tuck that thought away for another time. There will be a time in the future where that’ll happen.

You reach under her skirt, gently pulling the fabric down. She kicks it away, leaving her completely bare from the waist down.

You’re fucked.

Your mouth waters at the sight of her. Your gaze must’ve made her nervous because she quickly covers herself.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” You pull back.

“No, no,” Rosie shakes her head, crossing her legs. “I’m just nervous.”

“Hey,” You move to sit next to her. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“Can we go to your room?” Rosie offers weakly, which you nod, standing, extending a hand out. She gives you a small smile, taking it before you pull her up. She stumbles a little, but you’re there to catch her. “Lead the way?”

You guide Rosie to your room, nerves prickling at you because no woman has ever been in your room except Nayeon. You had a strict rule of sleeping with women at their place, never yours. Rosie notices your hesitation when you stand in the doorway, asking if you were okay.

“Um, this is going to sound bad, but the last woman that was in my bed was Nayeon,” You say quietly, letting go of Rosie’s hand.

“That’s okay?” Rosie says unsurely. “If it’s too much for you, we can go back to the couch.”

You shake your head. It isn’t that big of a deal, you were probably overthinking it. “No, it’s okay. I just felt like telling you that,” Which was true. You wanted to tell Rosie that, even though there wasn’t a reason to.

Rosie kisses your shoulder softly before walking around you towards your bed. She slips underneath the comforter, which you follow right after her, laying on your side as she’s on her back.

“You okay? We don’t have to do anything else tonight,” You prop your head on your hand, staring at her as she looks at the ceiling.

“Yeah I’m okay, more than okay. It just feels…” Rosie trails off, pouting a little as she tries to find the words. She looks pretty cute like this, but you immediately shake that thought away. You aren’t supposed to be having thoughts like that when this whole situation was transactional. “Intimate, I guess. To be in your bed like this.”

“I suppose so.”

“But yeah let’s keep going,” Rosie glances at you before turning to face you. “How should we…?”

A question pops into your mind, “Have you ever touched yourself?”

“Err, yes?”

“What does that mean?” You chuckle.

“I guess I have. I’ve never gotten off on my own though. I’ve put a finger inside myself, but it felt weird so I just stopped,” Rosie blushes, turning away.

“Uncomfortable?” You ask softly, bringing your hand to rest on her stomach.

“I guess? I don’t exactly know what I’m doing,” Rosie mumbles.

“Let me, yeah?” You move so you’re sitting up, back against the headboard. “Come here, sit in between my legs.”

Rosie complies, settling in between your legs as she lays against your chest. You kiss the crown of her head, sliding your arms around her body.

Now this feels intimate, and oddly feels right to be with her like this. Again, you shake that feeling away, reminding yourself that this is just sex.

A finger traces down her stomach aimlessly, hoping it relaxes her. She sighs contentedly before resting her head on your shoulder. You kiss her neck, and she giggles.

“That tickles,” Rosie says shyly.

“But in a good way right?” You murmur, bringing your hand lower. Her legs automatically widen and her breath hitches as you apply light pressure on her hip bone.

“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, shifting against your cock.

“Good. You trust me right?” You dip your hand in between her legs, resting on her pubis. Her hands find your thighs to hold on to, nodding.

You swipe a finger in between her folds, slowly, and she’s absolutely soaked. Your cock twitches at how wet she is. You’re sure you’re leaking into the fabric of your sweats.

“You’re wet,” You don’t recognize your voice.

“I’m sorry?” Rosie moans as you swipe through again, gently brushing over her clit.

“No, it’s fucking hot,” You murmur and her nails scratch at your skin. “So fucking hot.”

You repeat the motion a few times, eliciting soft moans as she squirms against you. Your other hand carefully unbuttons her blouse, and when the last button comes undone, you cup her breast, squeezing lightly.

“You’re being a tease,” You smirk against her skin, nipping lightly as she drops her head down.

“Just making you feel comfortable,” You chuckle as you swipe down, dipping your index finger inside.

“Oh shit,” Rosie throws her head back when you pull your finger out.

Your finger circles her entrance slowly as her legs spread wider. This position isn’t the best and you’ll likely strain your wrist, but you couldn’t care less about yourself at the moment. You insert your finger in again, but this time, you don’t pull out, letting your finger rest inside her.

You imagine your cock inside her, stretching her out. Your cock literally aches to be inside her because if this was how she felt—tight, warm, wet—you’d bust.

“Move,” Rosie commands through gritted teeth, her hips rolling down to get more of you inside her.

“So impatient,” You whisper, biting her skin softly. “It’s like you want me or something.”

“Oh fuck you,” Rosie’s nails digging into your skin as you start to move.

“You will,” Your voice comes out low, slowly moving in and out of her slick. “Not tonight,” Unfortunately, “But you will.”

“You’re so—fuck,” Rosie chokes on her words when your palm brushes over her clit, the penetration overstimulating her.

You smirk, freeing your hand from her chest and bringing hers under yours, “Touch yourself.”

Rosie easily obliges, rubbing her fingers over her clit as you begin pumping a smidge closer. Her pussy’s still tight, but her body’s slowly welcoming the intrusion. Based on the blissed-out expression on her face, eyes closed, she’s biting her lip.

“Don’t be shy Rosie,” You kiss behind her ear, “Let me hear you.”

Her eyes open, and the lust is there. She moans louder as her fingers move faster, causing you to match her pace. Your cock aches, wanting some sort of relief that your hips lightly thrust against her backside.

“Fuck,” Is all you can say because you want to fuck Rosie, especially with how her walls are squeezing your fingers.

“Cum,” You say simply and she does.

Her body spasms, back arching as she presses her butt directly on your cock. She lets out the sexiest moan you’ve ever heard, drawn out as her free hand reaches for your neck. Her walls aren’t letting your fingers move, so you opt to gently move them to prolong her orgasm.

After a minute, or two, Rosie falls limp in your hold, her arms flailing over your thighs. You slowly pull your fingers out, peering over her shoulder to see her slick. A nasty thought comes to you, and you bringing your fingers to your mouth, cleaning them to see what she tastes like, and dear fuck you want it directly from the source.

“You’re fucking gross,” Rosie pants softly, weakly lifting her arm to swat your hand away.

“You wanna taste yourself?” You brush your finger against her lips, and she makes a disgusted face. “Eh, if not now, later.”

Rosie tries to sit up, but she falls back into your chest, resting her head on your shoulder as you bring your arms around her stomach. You kiss her neck, murmuring, “Was that okay?”

“It was great,” Rosie nods slowly, turning her head slightly to kiss your cheek. “Thanks for that. I see the appeal in it now.”

You chuckle, chest vibrating against her body, “Yeah sex is pretty great.”

“I’m so tired,” Rosie yawns.

“Uh,” You’re still hard, which you hoped Rosie was too blissed out to notice. “Let me just shower first and I’ll take you home.” A cold shower was needed. You’ll probably give yourself relief when you get home, but you don’t think you’ll be able to survive the drive.

“Okay,” Rosie yawns again, “But can we stay here for a few more minutes?”

“Of course.”

Rosie sighs contentedly, snuggling into your chest. You typically didn’t cuddle after, but with her, it felt warranted. You wouldn’t say it felt right, but it didn’t feel wrong. You were comfortable doing this with her, and you hadn’t felt that since Nayeon.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed Rosie. Child-you would be happy to spend time with her, but adult-you knows what this is—sex. A knot forms in your stomach at the thought, but your rational side knew you and her weren’t ever going to be together.

Weird, but you dismiss the feeling completely.

“I’ll give you some clothes to wear,” You offer, nuzzling your chin into her.

“They’ll give you shit, you know that right?” Referring to her friends.

“Tell Jennie she never got anything from me,” You quip, earning a light slap on your leg. “What! She didn’t!”

“Stop talking about my friend who you’ve slept with after you just gave me two orgasms,” You didn’t need to see her face to know she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry,” You mumble, kissing her neck.

Rosie laughs, a sweet airy laugh that has your heart fluttering, and you think that it’s a sound you’d want to hear more often.

Someone ruffles your hair as you’re zoned in on finishing this expense report and you hear laughter behind you.

“What the fuck,” You pull your headphones out to see the offender.

Rosie.

With Lisa right behind her.

“Sorry,” Lisa peeks her head over Rosie, “You just looked too focused that I wanted to mess with you.”

“What do you two want?” Your eyes narrow as Rosie smiles. It eases your irritation, but still.

“Figured we’d say hello. Chaeng saw you, but didn’t want to disturb you. I, however, did,” Lisa answers, stepping forward. There’s a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Hey,” Rosie says softly. “I’m sorry. I told her not to.”

“It’s okay,” You shrug, checking your watch.

“Do you have plans tonight?” Lisa wiggles her eyebrows, eyes darting to Rosie, who slaps the back of her head. “Ow.”

“I have a game with Yoongi in about an hour.”

“Oh we should watch!” Lisa nudges Rosie, who rolls her eyes. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Rosie gives you a look, as if she’s waiting for you to invite her yourself. You smile, giving a small nod.

“Okay fine,” Rosie sighs, shaking her head, but she smiles at you anyways.

“Are you good oppa? I’ve seen Yoongi play, and he’s pretty good,” Lisa asks as you start to pack your stuff.

“I guess you’ll see,” You didn’t like talking about yourself. You considered yourself decent, but there would always be someone better.

When you finish, you decide you wanted to tease Rosie. You wait until Lisa’s a few feet away, leaning forward, “I’m usually pretty riled up after a game, so I hope you’ll come over after.”

The blush on Rosie’s face has you grinning, which gets even wider when she gives you a small nod.

“I don’t get why you do that.”

“Do what?” You ask, mouth full of mandu.

“Say you’re not good, but then score twenty points like it’s nothing.”

“So you were keeping track?” You smirk, reaching for another mandu on the table with your chopsticks.

“No, Yoongi told me after the game,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms as she slouches into the couch.

“It’s okay if you did, I’m flattered you paid that much attention to me.” That earns you a slap, but you couldn’t care. You played the whole game so you were starving.

You’re back at yours, just hanging out. You really had no intention of doing anything with Rosie tonight, even if you did tease her about being riled up. As much as you’d hate to admit it, you enjoy spending time with her as of lately.

Lisa gave you a thumbs up when Rosie told her she’d be leaving with you. No one seemed to notice when you two walked out together, but Yoongi did text you asking where you went since the team usually went out after.

“I have a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Do you ever feel frustrated after we you know?”

“Uh,” The question catches you off guard.

It’s been two days since, and you can admit it was a struggle after feeling her cum on your fingers. You thought about having sex with someone to give you some relief, but that thought had the knot in your stomach tightening.

“Frustrated in the sense I need to release,” You answer honestly, but quickly followed up with, “But it’s not that big of a deal. I took care of it.” The tips of your ears burned at the implication.

Rosie sighs next to you, shaking her head, “Okay can I be honest?”

“Uh of course?”

“I feel bad,” You were about to bite into the last mandu, but you stopped. “I feel like you’re always making me feel good, but I feel like I’m doing nothing in return.”

You place the mandu back in the box, dropping your chopsticks with it.

“Believe me you are,” The memory of Rosie’s face as her orgasm hit was something that could not be forgotten.

“But it doesn’t feel like it!” She throws her hands up dramatically. “I haven’t even seen your you know yet.”

“Oh my god,” You chuckle. “Just say it. It’s not a bad word.”

“Cock?”

“No.”

“Penis?”

“No.”

This conversation is getting nowhere.

“Take it out,” Rosie says suddenly.

“Only if you say cock,” You raise an eyebrow.

“No.”

“Then no cock for you,” You poke her nose after she huffs, hitting your leg.

After a minute, Rosie shoves her face into your chest. She mumbles something that you can’t quite make out, asking her to repeat.

“Cock,” Rosie says quietly, rubbing her face deeper from embarrassment.

“Was that so hard?” You smile, kissing her head. “Do you really want me to ‘take it out’ as you so eloquently put it?”

“Yeah,” Rosie mumbles, and you swear there’s a pout.

“You do it,” You offer, shifting slightly to wrap an arm around her. “No pressure Chaeng. Do whatever you feel is right and if anything hurts me, I’ll tell you.”

Rosie shyly asks if you could move to your bed, which you happily oblige. You swoop her in her arms, causing her to scream and slap your chest the whole way to your room. You laugh as she curses at you, but it’s fun for you and you know she thinks it is too.

“You’re annoying,” Rosie comments after you drop her on the bed. “Literally the most annoying person I know. How do girls put up with you?”

“I can think of a few ways that make up for it,” You sit on the edge of the bed, facing her.

“Arrogant too,” Rosie adds, shifting her body so she’s next to you.

Neither of you say anything while you’re sitting. You’re trying to think of how to guide Rosie while she stares at the floor. An idea pops into your mind, as you scoot until your back is pressed against the headboard.

“What’re you doing?”

“Seduce me,” You say simply, patting the space next to you. Her eyebrows furrow, but she’s right back next to you in no time.

“How?”

“We’ve done a few things together, I’m sure you could figure it out.” It wouldn’t take much to turn you on. Your control slips every time Rosie’s over that your body has a mind of its own.

She could kiss you and you’d be hard, as embarrassing as that is.

“Um okay,” Rosie bites her lip as she looks at you.

You smile, winking even, that makes her roll her eyes.

Rosie leans forward, kissing you softly on the lips. You keep your hands still, but your lips move easily against hers. She lets out a small moan when you dip your tongue into her mouth. Her arms circle around your neck, pulling you closer.

The blood in your body rushes south, waking your cock as Rosie presses against you. Kissing her has become one of your favorite things even if you’ve only done less than a handful of times. As someone who has had a healthy sex life, it’s scary how easily your body reacts to her.

She detaches her lips, placing soft kisses along your jawline. You let her, relaxing into the headboard as your eyes close.

A groan escapes from your lips when Rosie places her hand over your crotch.

“What?” She pulls back, a concerned look etched on her face. Her hand doesn’t move though.

“Nothing, you’re doing great,” You take a breath, “Just caught me off guard.”

Rosie makes a sound, but goes back to kissing your face. Her hand starts to move, palming your cock over your sweats.

Your body immediately reacts, hardening underneath her touch. She smirks against your neck, “Well hello.”

You laugh, shaking your head before kissing her sweetly on her forehead, “It’s a bodily reaction, what do you expect?”

“I think your body likes me,” Rosie brings her lips to yours before sitting straight. In a swift move, she swings her leg over you, cupping your face and bringing you in a bruising kiss, not giving you a chance to answer.

You instinctively rest your hands on her waist, pulling her body flushed against yours. She lets out a moan as your grip tightens.

You’re too lost in the kiss to notice Rosie sneaking her hand in between. Her fingers brush against the waistband of your sweats, abdomen tightening at her touch. You mumble a pathetic please because all she’s doing is riling you up. She smirks against your lips, dipping her hand to actually touch you.

Your head’s spinning and your hips involuntarily thrust into her hand. Given the space, it’s a little tight, but Rosie’s hand wrapped around you has your control slipping faster than before. You pull your sweats down so you’re fully free.

“Is this okay?” Rosie asks in between kisses as she slowly moves her hand up and down your length.

“Fuck yes,” You groan, detaching your lips from hers as your head falls backs.

Her hand’s soft, velvet-like, as she strokes you. You’re almost scared to look down because you feel yourself leaking as she cups the tip. She tentatively spreads it over you, that it’s making you lose your mind.

You open your eyes to Rosie intently staring at her ministrations, her tongue slightly peaking out.

“You can squeeze a little, but—ow shit!” Your hand shoots out, holding her wrist as you gasp.

“Oh my god,” Rosie automatically lets go, “I’m so sorry!”

You cough, catching your breath. You’re already sensitive, but it felt like Rosie was about to rip your dick off. “I’m fine,” You cough again, “Just a little lighter.”

“Sorry,” Rosie mumbles, looking away.

You place your hand over hers, together enclosing over your cock. “Like this,” You slowly move her hand under yours, applying enough pressure. Her hand’s smaller than yours, so she can’t completely fit around your girth.

“How does it feel?” Rosie asks softly.

“Good,” You nod, eyes rolling back as you let go of her hand. “So good.”

Rosie experiments with her grip and pace for a while, going faster at times while squeezing the right amount that has you seeing stars. You’re too focused on her hand that you don’t notice her move off your lap.

Something warm envelopes your cock and your eyes shoot open to Rosie’s mouth around the head.

“Fuck,” You grip the bedsheet, nearly tearing it off. “Give me a warning next time,” You moan.

“Sorry,” Your cock fucking pops out of her mouth as she continues to stroke you, “It seemed warranted. Too much?”

“Not enough,” Your abdomen tenses as she engulfs you again, going farther down your length.

Her tongue licks your tip as you watch her cheeks hollow out. You're mesmerized as she moves her head up and down your length, and each time she gets lower.

“Has anyone ever deepthroated you?” Rosie asks, catching her breath, but her hands don’t remain idle.

“Uh,” You barely hear her question, “I don’t know,” You couldn’t give a fuck about anyone else at the moment, but if she wants to try, you’ll let her.

“Can I try?” Rosie places a sweet kiss on the tip, making a face as a smidge of precum gets on her lip.

“By all means,” Your eyes roll back. Your hand itches to hold onto her head, but you’re scared of forcing her to take more than she can.

Rosie’s lips are around you once again, and the tip hits the back of her throat. There’s a sharp inhale, and you’re not sure if it’s from her or you, but that doesn’t deter her.

“Chaeng,” You grit out and your hand moves to the back of her head, threading your fingers in her hair. You don’t push down, but her throat relaxes and takes you all the way. “Fuck,” Your fingers fist through her locks, keeping her there until her finger taps on your thigh.

You immediately let go, and she comes off your cock, a slight dribble of drool on her chin.

“How was that?” Rosie smirks.

“Either make me cum or fuck off,” Your eyes narrow, challenging her that she doesn’t reply, instead taking you down her throat once more, swallowing around your length that you cum without warning.

You try to pull her off as your release shoots down her throat, but she’s adamant to take all of you. Your eyes roll back when she swallows, the pressure becoming too much as your hips thrust up into her mouth.

Rosie’s mouth is dangerous, and you’re thanking whatever deity for her skills. You’ve had your fair share of blow jobs, but she’s number one in your book. You’re definitely never going to tell her because practice makes perfect, and you know she’s a perfectionist. It might be a little selfish, but you’ll gladly be willing to take whatever she gives you until this is over.

Once your orgasm and she’s drained you for all that you’ve had, your hand relaxes, dropping to the side. She slowly comes off your cock, overly sensitive, but she licks the underside and that has your head spinning.

“So,” Rosie sits in between your legs, wiping her chin with the back of her hand, “How was I?”

You’re still trying to catch your breath, but you weakly get out, “There’s always room for improvement.”

“Really?” Rosie raises an eyebrow, eyeing your now-soft cock. “I drained you in less than fifteen minutes.”

“I’ve been pent up,” You mumble, eyes closing. “I blame you.”

“Just admit you think I’m hot,” Rosie’s suddenly hovering over you, hair tickling your face.

“Move your hair,” You try to push her off, but you’re bone dead. Playing a game followed by this has your body exhausted.

“Admit it,” Rosie kisses your lips, a slight tang on them. “I did,” She adds.

You groan, wrapping an arm around her so she’s fully on top of you, “Why do you need to hear that?” You know she knows you think so.

“Cause,” She kisses you again, leaving her lips on yours.

“Cause what?” You sigh, lazily moving your lips against hers.

Rosie’s tongue dips into your mouth, short circuiting your brain before murmuring, “Cause it’s you.”

Your eyes feel heavy, wanting to pass out and you actually might. Something washes over you before your body shuts down. You don’t know why, but you tell her, “You’re not hot, you’re beautiful,” before sleep takes over completely.

(You wake up a few hours later, alone, but not without a note on your nightstand, groaning at Rosie’s cursive—

Thanks handsome guy <3 see you around.

ps I called a car, and before you beat yourself up, it’s okay)

It’s stupid.

You’re stupid.

A fool, some might say.

You’re calling yourself a fool.

What compels you to be at Rosie’s apartment door, waiting, holding a bouquet of roses, without even asking if she’s home, is beyond you.

It’s a risky move, the longer you wait for her—or anyone for that matter—to open the door.

You immediately felt guilty waking up to Rosie’s note. You didn’t even return the favor, and you’ve been wanting to. In your mind, showing up at her place, uninvited, with flowers, was a way to make it up to her before asking if she wanted to come over so you could thoroughly make it up to her.

The door swings open and it’s Lisa, clothes wrinkled and hair all over the place. You don’t comment on it because you know something’s going on between her and Jennie, but it wasn’t your place to ask. Instead you ask, “Hey, sorry to bother, but is Rosie in?”

Lisa smiles, and your face falls, the answer doesn’t need to be said, but she invites you in anyways.

You don’t know why you just don’t leave, but you enter their apartment, slipping off your shoes while awkwardly holding the flowers.

“Here, let me take those.” They’re out of your hands before you could respond. “Make yourself at home.”

You’ve been here a handful of times, mostly when there was a party or someone needed a ride home, but it feels off being here.

Or does it feel that way because she wasn’t here?

You follow Lisa to the living room, seeing Jennie seated on the couch in the same disheveled appearance. Her eyes widen when she realizes it’s you here, but she doesn’t say anything except for a polite hello.

Neither of the women say anything, but Lisa prepares the flowers in the vase. You stare at the coffee table, trying to find any words to explain why you’re here.

“So what brings you here?” Jennie asks a question she knows the answer to.

“Uh, I thought Rosie would be in,” You answer, scratching the back of your head. You notice the silent exchange between the two, but the sad smile that forms on Jennie’s face says enough.

“She’s out at the moment,” Jennie bites her lip, thinking of what to say. “She should be back in an hour or so. You’re more than welcome to stay.”

“I probably shouldn’t,” You sigh, realizing just how stupid it was for you to show up. Your thoughts stray that she’s out with Soohyun, but that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

“She’s having dinner with Soohyun,” Lisa says and you watch Jennie’s eyes narrow, rolling her eyes.

“Lisa.”

“What? He should know,” The woman shrugs, acting as if it’s not a big deal.

And it’s not.

At least, that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“Rosie can do whatever she likes,” It comes out harsher than you intended, but you’re feeling something that you don’t want to acknowledge. You stand, “I should get going. Uh, you guys can keep those. No need to tell her that’s for her. Sorry they’re not blue Jen,” You add, knowing those are her favorite.

Jennie gives you a sympathetic smile, shaking her head, “You’re sweet, you know that right?”

“Sure,” You shrug, walking towards the door. “Sorry to bother you both,” You bow after slipping your shoes on.

“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Jennie asks, meeting you by the door.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Please don’t tell her,” There’s a fifty-fifty chance Rosie would find out, odds being Lisa telling her where the roses came from.

“Why not? It’s sweet you brought her flowers.”

“I don’t really have a reason as to why,” You do have a reason, but you’re not sure how much Rosie shares with them.

Jennie looks like she doesn’t believe you, but she doesn’t press you anymore, nodding. “See you at Mina’s?”

“Maybe,” You answer vaguely, remembering that you actually have to see your parents this weekend sans the Parks. “I have a business meeting with my parents, so I doubt I’ll make it back in time.”

“With Chaeng?” Jennie raises an eyebrow.

“No, just me, so I’ll be in Seong-buk,” You grimace at the thought of having to sit in this, but your father’s adamant it’s good exposure for you.

“Well I hope you can make it,” Jennie reassures, hugging you briefly before taking a step back.

“You’ll see me if I do,” You wink. “Thanks again Jen.”

Once the door shuts, you sigh. You couldn’t believe you showed up at Rosie’s place, unannounced. What were you expecting? You’re still not entirely sure, but you’re disappointed nonetheless. It’s almost been two weeks since this arrangement started and you’re scared you’re getting attached. You’ve had longer flings and felt zero attachment to them.

You question why it feels different, and you toy with the idea of joining Jungkook in Hongdae to remind yourself that you don’t get attached. A wave of guilt passes through you, which you’re torn on what you should do.

“Fuck it,” You mumble to the empty hallway.

You hear the door knock and pause the show you’ve been sort of watching with Rosie. You’d rather drown in the river than admit you actually like this show.

You aren’t expecting anyone except the food delivery, so you are surprised when you open the door to see Rosie.

“Uh hey?” You greet. One look at her and you know she’s upset based on the fire in her eyes.

“What the fuck,” Rosie spits out.

Great. Fucking Lisa.

You aren’t given the chance to ask anything as she barges through the door. You turn around once the door’s shut, and she’s seething.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why the fuck did you show up at my place?”

“Drop off flowers for Jennie and Lisa,” You answer noncommittally, crossing your arms as you lean against the door.

“Bullshit. Tell me why,” Rosie steps forward, invading your space. Her perfume makes you dizzy, but you can’t dwell on it too much since she looks like she’s about five seconds away from ripping your head off.

“What do you want me to say?” You deflect. You didn’t want to get into the reason why—the actual reason—that had you take the train back to yours instead of a club.

“The fucking truth!” She throws her hands up dramatically, shaking her head.

“I came over because I wanted to make it up to you for completely knocking out last night, happy?” You roll your eyes, pushing yourself off the door and walking past her.

“No, I’m not—hey! Get back here, I’m still talking to you,” Rosie’s hand encloses over your wrist.

The move forces you to turn around, reflexively pulling her into you so that you’re face-to-face.

“Don’t,” Your voice comes out low. “I’m being honest. Your turn now, why are you here?”

“Because,” Rosie tries to get out of your grasp, but it’s futile. “As soon as I get home, Lisa fucking singsongs that you dropped by with flowers to see me. Then she told me she mentioned to you that I was out with Soohyun.”

You let go, dropping her hand completely before taking a step back. Hearing his name makes you sick, but you refuse to admit why.

“How was that?” You ask, tired, because you knew what you signed up for.

“Do you really want to know?” Rosie crosses her arms, glaring.

“I don’t, but you’ll tell me anyway.”

“It was good. He’s funny. He’s polite, offered to pay the bill, and walked me to the door,” Each word digs at you, but you don’t let it show. “He wanted to come in to say hello to the girls, but I told him I just wanted to sleep. He asked me out again.”

“And? Is there going to be a second date?”

“Yes,” Rosie says flatly.

“Good, happy for you,” You hoped you sounded as detached as possible. “Now you still didn’t answer why you’re here if you ‘just wanted to sleep’?”

“Because I’ve been fucking frustrated since last night,” Rosie sighs, shaking her head. “I didn’t think I would be, but you fucking fell asleep. I tried dealing with it myself, but that made it worse.”

All you’re imagining is Rosie, in her bed, touching herself, which has you immediately hard. But you’re a little ticked off at the moment to fully enjoy that imagery.

“Why didn’t you ask Soohyun to help you?” It’s a low blow, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Rosie pushes you, like actually pushes you, with enough force to move.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Rosie seethes out, turning to walk out. “I planned on coming over after the dinner for you to take care of the problem you created.”

You’re faster, grabbing her arm to pull her body flush against yours.

“So you couldn’t cum?” You whisper.

“Fuck you,” Rosie struggles to get out from your hold, but you have one arm securely wrapped around her waist.

“I don’t think we’re there yet,” You murmur, “But there is something I still haven’t done.”

“I’m mad at you,” Rosie ignores your suggestion.

“If I do what I want to do, I promise you won’t be mad.”

“Doubtful,” Rosie pouts, relaxing into your embrace.

“I’m sorry,” You mean it.

“I’m still mad,” She huffs, burying her face into your chest.

“Let me make it up to you,” You tilt her head up, forcing her to look at you. “Please?”

“Fine. On the condition I sleep over.”

You freeze, vividly remembering the rules you set in place that she wouldn’t sleep over.

“Our rules?”

“You broke the first one by coming over without telling me,” She reasons.

“Do you want to spend the night?” You ask nervously. You hadn’t spent the night with a girl since Nayeon. Every time you had sex, you’d leave before they woke up, or right after.

“Yes,” Rosie rocks on her tiptoes to kiss you briefly, wrapping her arms around your neck. “It makes things easier for us.”

“Can I still bring you home in the morning?” You ask shyly, looking away.

“You better,” Rosie smiles. “I’m still mad though.”

You roll your eyes, using your strength to pick her up, wrapping her legs around your waist, “I’ll make it up to you.”

Rosie squeals, hitting your shoulder as you carry her towards your room. “Don’t drop me!”

You chuckle, shaking your head, as you kick the door open, “You’re fine, trust me.”

You do drop her on the bed and Rosie huffs as she sprawls out on the bed. You take in her appearance—a simple black dress that falls mid-thigh with her hair half-up. She’s beautiful, but you won’t say it out loud—even though you feel like you’ve told her.

“You’re staring,” Rosie comments, resting on her elbows, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Can you blame me?” You drop to your knees, pulling her towards the edge of the bed. “Do you trust me?” You ask softly, locking eyes with her.

“Yes,” And that’s all you need.

—

You wake up slowly, yawning and stretching. Your arm hits a body, causing you to almost jump when you notice a body’s pressed to your side. You remember that Rosie stayed the night after spending a good amount of time and effort in between her legs.

She had physically yanked you away from overstimulation, but it was worth it. The sounds she made along with how she tasted was something you wanted to do again. You barely scratched the surface, but you were addicted.

You had to give her credit because she came three times. You tried to go for a fourth, but she mustered enough strength to kick you away. You wouldn’t let up until she wasn’t mad anymore. By the second orgasm, she wasn’t, but you had to make sure.

When you were done, cleaning up the mess you made, you kissed her softly as she laid limply on the bed. “Thanks,” She mumbled, sighing contentedly as she played with the hairs on the back of your neck. “I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“I know,” You smirked, kissing her again before laying your head on the pillow.

Rosie wanted to return the favor, but you shook your head, embarrassed to share that you were touching yourself while eating her out. She found out anyway because you couldn’t lie to her. It went straight to her head, teasing you that you couldn’t help yourself. She kissed the pout away before falling asleep.

You check the clock on your nightstand, “Fuck,” You mutter, stirring Rosie awake.

“What’s wrong?” Rosie’s voice comes out hoarse, slightly turning her body.

It’s almost noon, and you haven’t finished looking over the reports and proposals your father sent over last night.

“I’m so sorry,” You sit up, shaking your head in frustration. “I would make you breakfast, but I have to review some things for tonight.”

“What’s tonight?” You watch her rub her eyes, and you can’t help but think how cute she is.

“I have a business dinner with my parents.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…” You trail off.

“Do you want me to go with you? I’d just have to stop by my place to change, but I can go,” Rosie offers, turning as she pulls the blanket over her.

Your heart flutters. If there’s anyone that knows your parents, it’s Rosie. She’s known them since you were kids, seeing just how much pressure was put on you being their only child. It sucked a lot when things changed, but you couldn’t dwell on it that much. You were just trying to appease what they wanted, even though you knew it would never be enough.

“Alice is home too,” Rosie adds when you don’t respond. “I can just hang out with her until you’re done.”

“Are you sure?” You didn’t want to impose on her plans for the day.

“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t,” Rosie sits up, the blanket falling slightly down her body. You glance and remember she was wearing one of your shirts that was a little too big on her. “Mina’s party is later, so we could go after if you need to blow off steam.”

“We’ll see how I feel,” You scoff, knowing exactly how you’d feel after. “But thanks Chaeng, it means a lot.”

“Eh, I know how they are, so,” Rosie shrugs, leaning forward to kiss you on the cheek. She rests her head on your shoulder, laying an arm along your stomach. “I’m sorry it hasn’t gotten any better.”

“It’s okay,” You say a little too quickly, but she doesn’t press the issue, snuggling deeper into your side. “Thanks,” You mumble.

“You could always do whatever you want, they’d come around,” Rosie suggests, tracing a finger up and down your abdomen.

“Yeah, like being a photographer would make enough money for them. They’d see it as a hobby, which it is, not as a career,” You say bitterly, shaking your head at the memory of when you suggested it that one time.

“Well you could always take pictures of me, and you know, I know people in fashion that could see your portfolio.”

“Chaeng, you’ve done enough for me,” You’re shocked that she’d even offer this. You knew that she had connections, but she worked hard for those. It would feel wrong to actually take her up on it.

“You’ve also done enough for me,” She pokes your cheek. “Just think about it, the offer’s there.”

You don’t know what to say. You deflect with humor and sarcasm because it’s what you know, especially with her, “Careful, it sounds like you actually like me or something.”

“Oh fuck off,” Rosie slaps your chest, giggling.

She doesn’t confirm or deny it. You’re left wondering if she ever could.

The car’s silent except for the music Rosie asked—demanded—to play, connecting her phone before you could say yes. You’re on your way back to the city, finished with the business meeting with your parents and some overseas executive who brought his daughter too.

You were completely blindsided. It was a business meeting disguised as a fucking introduction to a ‘potential’ wife that your parents shamelessly arranged on your behalf. You weren’t that much of an ass to be completely rude to the girl—Kazuha—who also didn’t want to be there. She flat out told you what the meeting was, which you appreciated her honesty.

Nakamura Kazuha was pretty, an innocent air around her that would have you interested if it was under normal circumstances. Your parents coincidentally left you alone for a bit to get to know each other, and she seemed like a great person. She was shy, but polite. She was funny, in a quiet sort of way where you had to be paying attention.

Kazuha told you she had a boyfriend that she wanted to be with; however, her parents didn’t approve. It was a point of contention because it wasn’t like Satoshi was a bad person, he just didn’t meet the standards they had—in other words, not wealthy.

You shared that same sentiment, explaining your last relationship with Nayeon and how she was a great person, but you knew your parents would never approve.

“Who was that girl you dropped off?” Kazuha asked once dinner was over. Your parents off to the wine cellar.

What?

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry,” Kazuha smiled. “We arrived the same time you did and I saw you walk a girl to the house next door.”

“Oh uh that’s Rosie,” You answered vaguely.

“She’s pretty. Are you two dating?”

“What? No, she’s just a friend,” You rushed out, but Kazuha wasn’t dumb. She could tell that you weren’t just friends.

“Interesting. I don’t know many guys who walk friends to the door, but,” She shrugged, “It’s none of my business. That’s sweet of you though.”

When you only nodded, she smiled again, moving on to talk about other things. The thought of her observation struck a chord, causing you to dwell on it for the rest of the evening.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rosie’s voice cuts through your thoughts.

“Do you want to hear about it?”

“I do,” Rosie nods in your periphery.

You tell her everything.

How the meeting wasn’t actually business for your parents. How they purposely set you and Kazuha up. How your father tricked you into preparing for something that was already signed. How your mother boldly asked when you and Kazuha would see each other next—when she lived in another country. How you were pissed and irritated and upset. How you were just tired of it.

“I mean, fuck, at this rate, I might as well just go along with it because every single choice is made for me,” You hit the wheel while stopped at a redlight.

“Hey,” Rosie coos, reaching for your hand, the tension melting away from your touch. “Don’t say that.”

“Well it’s not like I have any other fucking choice, unless I end up with someone who’s as rich or richer than my family, they’ll never approve. I’m literally setting up my future wife for a lifetime of disapproval. Look at Minjun, his wife hardly even attends family gatherings,” You scoff.

You saw firsthand how your cousin’s marriage was affected by someone your family deemed ‘not good enough’. You also admired how Minjun stayed with his wife when everyone, even you, said not too because it wasn’t worth the headache.

Rosie tugs your hand to look at her, a sad smile etched on her face, “Well then you just haven’t met that somebody yet.”

“How can I when I’m literally getting put into arranged marriages at this point?” You sigh, tired from the dinner.

“You will, I’m sure of it,” She squeezes your hand, interlacing your fingers together. “You’re smart. You’re kind. And don’t let it get to your head, but you are good-looking. Anyone who gets to be with you would be lucky.”

Your ears burn from her compliments. The comment of your looks does go to your head, but you don’t want to ruin the moment.

“Thanks,” You mumble shyly, looking away as you start driving.

“Are we going to Mina’s?” Rosie asks, keeping your hand on her lap.

The use of we has you confused.

“Uh, I was just going to drop you off and stay in. I don’t feel very social anymore. I’m still worked up,” You roll your eyes, turning right onto Mina’s street.

Rosie squeezes your hand, her thumb rubbing your skin, “Are you sure? It could help you get your mind off things.”

“The only thing that would get my mind off anything is I fuck someone,” You say crassly.

“I’m right here,” Rosie lets go of your hand, huffing.

“Yeah but I have a bit of aggression at the moment. I can’t exactly take you roughly,” You pull up to the curb, a few houses down from Mina’s.

“And why not?” Rosie unbuckles her seat belt, crossing her legs on the seat to face you.

“You think really low of me if I’d have your first time be like that,” You reason, rolling your shoulders as you shut the car off.

Could you imagine taking Rosie roughly? Absolutely. You know how flexible she is, and you could have fun with her body if she gives you enough time with her. You wanted to prolong this arrangement because time’s running out. You weren’t sure if it would be a one and done type of thing, but you didn’t want to ask.

“I don’t,” Rosie scoffs, leaning forward to kiss you softly on the cheek. “But I hope we’ll get there.”

The kiss sends a shiver down your spine, melting into the car seat. You turn to kiss her on the lips, a simple peck that she deepens, pulling you into her that has your body on fire.

“Can I convince you to stay?” Rosie murmurs, sneaking a hand to your slacks. She palms you through the fabric, causing you to groan against her lips. “I think I can.” Her hand deftly lowers the zipper.

“Chaeng,” You tear away your lips, head falling back on the headrest as you watch her take your cock out.

“Yeah?” Rosie moves over the center console, dropping her head.

“We’re in public,” Your voice comes out hoarse as her head goes lower, tongue slipping out to lick your tip.

“It’s dark,” Rosie kisses your cock, “Better be quick then.”

In a swift move, Rosie’s mouth encloses over you and you’re a goner.

You laugh at the nonsense Jungkook says in an attempt to distract the pair across the table from missing the shot. It works, and you’re one cup away from winning again.

You feel lighter than you did an hour ago. All thanks to the woman who happens to be sitting very closely to the man she’s interested in. Although, you’re trying your best not to dwell on the sinking feeling in your stomach every time you glance her way.

“Dude you got it,” You nod to Jungkook who’s a bit drunk, but he swears his coordination gets better the more he drinks.

Your best friend smirks, winking at the other team before smoothly tossing the ball and it falling perfectly into the lone cup.

“And that’s game,” Jungkook puffs his chest out while the other two roll their eyes. “Who’s next?”

“Take Yoongi for this round, I need some air,” You say without waiting for his response. You walk off to the kitchen, grabbing a beer before you make your way to the backyard.

A few people stop you, mostly girls, asking what you’re doing after. You give a noncommittal answer because you would like to leave with Rosie, but the odds of that happening are low.

The cool air hits your lungs and you let out a breath. A much needed one with the amount of people that are inside. There’s a few people, but they’re all in their own conversations, not paying you any mind.

You find an unoccupied couch, deciding to sit alone before Jungkook finds you. You’re not drunk, but you’re not sober either. You’re in that limbo of a few more drinks might put you over the edge.

Your mind vividly replays Rosie ‘convincing’ you to stay. She didn’t need to do much to get you to cum, but she did well to get you there in less than five minutes. You were almost tempted to say fuck the party and head back to yours, but after she swallowed you for all you had to give, she patted your head and said it was time to go inside.

“Can I sit with you?” A voice immediately brings you out of your thoughts, your gaze falling on your ex-girlfriend.

“Sure,” You scoot over, making some room on the couch.

You take a sip of your beer, letting the bitter liquid sit in your mouth as you gather your thoughts. It wasn’t that it was hard to be around Nayeon, it was just awkward. You two were cordial, and you knew–thanks to Sana–that she wanted to get back together. You tried avoiding her, but running in the same social circle made it difficult.

“How’s your night?” Nayeon asks after a few minutes.

“It’s good,” You answer politely. “How about yours?”

“Same.”

The noise from the house fills the silence when neither of you say anything else.

You were with Nayeon for almost two years, and there was never a lull in the conversation. She would either be asking you a million questions or she would be telling you about her day in great detail. You tried to be friends with her after you broke up, but you didn’t think it was worth it.

“How are you and Chaeyoung?” Nayeon asks nonchalantly that you pause mid-sip.

“What’s there to know?” You finish your beer, placing the glass bottle on the table.

Nayeon shrugs, sipping her wine, “I saw you two walk in together.”

“We had dinner with our parents,” You lie, but it was more a half-lie since you actually did have dinner with your parents, just separately.

Nayeon makes a humming sound before saying, “Your relationship with her was always interesting to me.” When you don’t ask what she means–she’ll tell you anyways–she continues, “I knew you two quote unquote hated each other, but regardless of that, there was always something that made me think you, or her, might’ve had feelings.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Nayeon?” You sigh. The way this conversation was going instantly killed your mood.

“It’s hard to explain,” Nayeon shrugs, taking another sip. “But she likes Soohyun right? Or they’ve gone out together.”

“I don’t know who Rosie likes, and it’s honestly none of my business,” You were getting irritated, especially since his name was now in the conversation.

“I’m not saying it is your business, but all I’m saying is to be careful. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” You snap. “You literally fucking cheated on me over an argument.”

“You don’t think I regret that?” Nayeon’s voice cracks. “I’ve regretted that ever since.”

“It’s too fucking late for that Nayeon, I don’t want to hear it,” You stand, blood boiling. “I’m fucking over this.”

First the dinner with your parents, now this. You didn’t want to rehash the past with Nayeon. It was over. You got cheated on by a girl who was your first serious relationship, someone you loved, and thought about a future with. Then said-girl was telling you to be careful with Rosie, of all people.

You knew what you were doing with Rosie, but for Nayeon to say what she said struck a chord.

Why?

That was something you weren’t ready to admit.

You walk away from Nayeon, leaving her alone. As soon as you enter the house, Jungkook calls you over, but you beeline for the front door without a second glance at Rosie.

(But if you did, you would’ve seen her stand up from her seat next to Soohyun.)

“Hey!” Rosie calls out to you. You don’t turn around, your pace picks up. “Hey, what the fuck happened?” Her hand encloses around your wrist, stopping you as soon as you reach your car.

“Nothing,” You pull your hand away, jaw clenching as you try to compose yourself.

“That’s a fucking lie.”

You turn around, eyes glaring to the same expression, “Just let me be. I don’t want to deal with anyone else tonight.”

“Too fucking bad, I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what happened,” Rosie crosses her arms. “I also have your fucking keys dumbass.”

Fuck.

“Give them to me,” You reach around her, knowing she put it in her back pocket, but she was faster. She took the keys out of her pocket, holding it up in front of your face. “Chaeng.”

“You’re not fucking driving in this state. You’ve been drinking and you’re obviously pissed for whatever reason. I’m calling us a car and we’ll get yours in the morning. Don’t fucking fight with me about this,” Rosie glares, raising her chin defiantly.

“Fine,” You roll your eyes, leaning against your car.

You watch Rosie pull her phone out, calling a car or whatever. The alcohol was catching up to you. You close your eyes, trying to calm your nerves because you were still pissed off. You shouldn’t have taken it out on Rosie, but you weren’t expecting to see her for the rest of the night.

You feel arms wrap around your back, Rosie’s perfume suddenly invading your senses, as she rests her head on your chest.

“Let’s just sleep tonight okay?” Rosie whispers against your chest. “You’ve had a long day.”

“I’m sorry,” You mumble, realizing your mistake.

“Don’t be,” Rosie’s hand finds its way underneath your shirt, soothingly rubbing your lower back.

“What about Soohyun?” You ask, doing your best to not sound like you were watching her.

“He’s not relevant right now,” Rosie says softly, looping her fingers through your belt loop. “I’ll talk to him this weekend.”

It annoys you a little bit, but you can’t help but think you’ve won some non-existent, one-sided competition with Soohyun. Rosie’s leaving with you and not him.

You’re treading a thin line, crossing into dangerous territory. You’re hoping that once you have sex, all these feelings and thoughts that have been plaguing your mind will vanish.

Because getting involved with Rosie was never on your mind.

(It was way too long to fit in one post -_-)

#blackpink smut #blackpink rose #blackpink park chaeyoung #rosie smut #park chaeyoung smut #park chaeyoung

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elysiansparadise · 8 months

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Heyyo !! Hope you're doing well. I have a question if are going continue your planets in houses series for 8th House moon

Hello! I’m doing just fine, I hope you too. Of course I will continue, until I’ve covered each placement. 🤎

Moon in the 8th house

They are people of complex nature, since many of them tend to be very cautious when it comes to opening up to new people, they do not trust their hearts so easily in others and they can even show themselves as very self-sufficient in the emotional field, however, these natives internally desire a deep degree of emotional intimacy, even bordering on emotional. They prefer intense, meaningful ties that really contribute something to their lives rather than something superficial and vain. This is usually something difficult for them because it is difficult for them to open up and want to meet new people. This is due more than anything to a fear of appearing vulnerable, manipulable and, mostly, due to bad experiences with previous relationships. It’s likely that the relationship with the family, mother or a specific member was tense and taught them to always be alert for any sign of lying or betrayal. They detect people who show false emotions or who lie, as they stand out for being observant. They may prefer to make decisions based on their mind rather than their heart, and it is likely that at some point in their life they ignored their emotional needs, both other people and themselves. They fear that they will feel a lot and get hurt or that the other person will not give themselves in that devoted and passionate way with which they do it.

For them it is crucial to give their all when it comes to something important or meaningful to them, they do not give themselves halfway. They find it difficult to be expressive, but once they are comfortable enough they are very constant with their demonstrations of affection or appreciation. They have this ability to feel the emotions of others and tend to accurately deduce the emotional triggers and needs of others. They have a genuine curiosity to know the core of those who matter to them, they will want to know every part of your mind, your history and everything that your heart is silent about, this in order to understand you better. In the sexual field, they need a certain emotional closeness or feeling in love to fully enjoy. A pretty face is not enough for them and they tend to be very attracted to complex, interesting and understanding personalities. They give themselves completely, body and soul, and there is nothing they like more than feeling that their partner does the same. Aftercare is crucial and necessary.

They know how to be alone and highly value their time with themselves, they are introspective with their emotions and they like to get to the root of things. A lie can be something unforgivable for many of them and they will always prefer a very honest truth over a white or sugar-coated lie. Their intuition is very strong and they may feel an attraction or even have a knack for things like tarot, astrology or similar things. They read you like a book, but you can hardly do the same with them. They have a deep connection with their unconscious. It is likely that since they were children they have had very intense spiritual experiences and that the mystical world seems truly fascinating to them. They have one goal [among their many goals] to become the adult they felt they needed when they were children, since it is likely that their inner child carries a feeling of fear and insecurity. They are people who behind their strong and empowered personality is someone sensitive and compassionate. People often see them as a very strong pillar in which to fully trust, and it is likely that only the natives themselves are aware of their emotional intensity, as others describe them as calm and collected most of the time.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#astrology #natal chart #moon in the 8th house #moon #birth chart #astro note #8th house #moon in the 8th #moon in the 8h #moon in 8th house

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ouidamforeman · 10 months

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R.e. discussions abt the new Good Omens season being polarizing on whether it’s good or bad writing, I think just saying it’s bad writing is weird and dismissive of what actual problems someone would have with it, and is just dismissing what it’s trying to do because it wasn’t to your taste. I think it more or less succeeded in doing what it wanted to do, which is an entirely different metric of judgment than whether or not you LIKED the effect of what it was doing. Regardless of what issues I personally have with it, I still think overall it effectively did what it set out to.

The thing is, it reads less like a traditional season of television and more like half of a novel. It’s weird. It’s directionless and meandering not because it’s poor storytelling but because I genuinely think it’s doing those things on purpose for other reasons. This is a single chunk of a larger story and I believe the overall purpose of season 2 isn’t to like, actually have a big plot or complete character arcs? If I look at it solely from where it is and what it’s presenting to me and let go of my preconceptions and expectations it appears that this season is just trying to put a few plot set pieces in place for the continuing story, and to nestle those plot pieces in a nonlinear narrative solely focused not on character Development but on character exploration and revelation. I feel like that’s why the actual moving plot this season was a very basic mystery, because it isn’t really the point? The actual story events are just backdrop for revelatory character vignettes, and I think that if this piece of storytelling was part of a novel that included whatever season 3/the actual story conclusion is going to be then people wouldn’t have nearly as many criticisms about the writing as they do when it’s presented as a season of tv. That’s also why it reads so fanfiction-y imo. My honest opinion is that s2’s biggest flaw that isn’t something incredibly subjective is that it’s let down by the fact that it got trapped in needing to present itself as a television season with all the baggage that medium has and not something more unconventional that would be kinder to its weird beginning-of-a-novel-ish meandering. Is this something a season of tv SHOULD do? I don’t know. Is this a fucking weird piece of television story wise? Yeah. Is it now officially a different story from the original novel? Absolutely. Does it have flaws, maybe even flaws that amplify the issues already present in season 1? Yeah. Does it accomplish what it sets out to do though? More or less yeah, I genuinely think so. Now if any of that translates into “badness” for you that’s fine. I think it was an immense risk to do this kind of thing for a tv season and it’s not going to click for everyone. But that’s fine. This is a bizarre and novel-y piece of tv media that’s just sort of doing its own thing, and whether you think that’s bad or not is secondary to how interesting that is I think. I just wish the criticism was more engaging with it instead of judging it, because I think what’s happening here is both much more simple and much more complex than most people are implying with their critiques. It’s much more interesting to meet it where it is imho, even though I do strongly wish it didn’t have to be released in this technically incomplete form.

TLDR I think ppl pointing at this season and calling it bad writing are partially not actually engaging with it on its level and partly confusing objective badness with personal taste. Regardless of whether you LIKED what it tried to do or not it was at least trying to do something, something that it mostly succeeded at, and that’s all i can really comfortably judge a piece of art on

#also pretend Neil Gaiman is dead and leave him alone #good omens #good omens s2 #good omens season two #good omens spoilers

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esamastation · 7 months

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Part thirty-seven of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six

Though they've fought and slain what now feels like countless monsters, they've made little progress in their actual mission - which was to find a group of Foulanders that had appeared near the military camp. Though they'd seen some hints of them, the monsters themselves are nowhere to be seen, instead they've fought - and inspected - just about every other thing the forest has to offer.

Angeal feels strange even thinking about it, but… Sephiroth is holding the mission back. Not because he isn't willing or capable, he's more than! More than half of the kills are by him, and done with ease! But… he keeps stopping and stalling to make observations, examining the monsters, the terrain, particularly interesting plants, the trees - once he even stops to take in the scenery when they encounter a little hilltop. All which, while weirdly endearing in the strangest way, is not what Sephiroth usually does on missions.

No, usually Sephiroth just bulldozes through his opponents, finishes the mission in record time and then does whatever he wants after… which usually means taking on and completing the next nearest mission to his location. Rinse and repeat.

Now it's getting late, and they're nowhere near finishing their first one for the day.

"Alright, I guess we're camping here tonight," Angeal muses while Sephiroth examines a local fruit tree interestingly.

"Alright," Sephiroth agrees, picking a fruit and taking a curious sniff. "Aww, it's not ripe," he mutters. "Maybe higher up in the tree…"

Angeal watches as the most famous SOLDIER in history goes fruit-picking and then shakes his head, going about setting a camp. They have no actual camping gear, he honestly hadn't thought to bring any with the complete expectation that not only would the mission not take long but they'd probably finish a few more while at it before heading back. Apparently not!

Whatever made Sephiroth so obsessive about completing missions before has gone the same way a lot of other motivations he had for his previous habits went.

Setting up a fire in Wutai forest isn't the best idea, so Angeal picks what looks like the most comfortable spot to sleep and sits down to check the Buster Sword. He'd mostly used his fists, as per usual, but he'd tried his hand using his sword too. It was… still pretty difficult.

Sephiroth joins him with an armful of fruit. "Want some fruit?" he offers.

Angeal gives them a look. "Are you sure that's edible?" he asks dubiously.

"Sure it is. It's hawthorn," Sephiroth agrees. "Pity we don't have the stuff to prepare them - I bet these would make great tanghulu."

"... Which is?"

"Fruits coated in rock sugar," Sephiroth shrugs and sits down on a protruding knot of a tree root. "Here, try some."

Angeal accepts a fruit from him. Sephiroth doesn't remember monster names or what they even are, but he remembers random sweets and apparently how to make them. Meanwhile Angeal didn't even know he liked sweets. For them to be the things that really stuck around while he forgot so many other things…

Angeal tries the little red fruit. It's not bad. A bit tart.

"So, no… tent or anything?" Sephiroth asks after finishing a handful of fruit.

"What, can't handle sleeping under the stars?" Angeal asks, turning his attention back to his sword.

"Hm," Sephiroth hums, tugging at his sleeve cuffs with a strange expression before looking around, taking in the forest around them. "I suppose we need to take watches."

"Yep," Angeal agrees. "I can take the first one."

"It's fine, I'll handle it. I want to get some practice in anyway," Sephiroth says, setting the rest of the fruit aside. "Unless that will bring more monsters to us."

"They don't usually attack you when you're still - just when you're moving through their territories," Angeal assures him. "So it should be fine. But better be on guard anyway."

Sephiroth smirks a little at that and then stands up with a stretch and takes Masamune in hand. "Well then…"

"Are you going to do your… energy alignment thing?" Angeal asks worriedly

"Not here, that's just asking for a Qi-deviation," Sephiroth mutters. "Just some forms."

"You'd think you'd gotten enough practice down for the day already," Angeal points out, though more curiously than anything. "All we've done is fight this whole day. One would think you'd be looking forward to winding down a little." Angeal knows he is.

Sephiroth looks at him thoughtfully. "This is how my body winds down," he says and holds Masamune up in a guard pose. "Call it sword meditation. Besides, today wasn't exactly good exercise."

"... Sephiroth, I lost track of how many fights we had," Angeal points out flatly.

Sephiroth snorts. "A few basic sword forms per fight - that's nothing. And I didn't see you using anything more elaborate than an uppercut or a high kick."

"Well, they worked, did they?"

"Yes, but what did you learn from them? Did you progress at all in your combat abilities?" Sephiroth asks pointedly and makes a delicate swing with his sword. "Did you grow at all?"

Angeal leans back a little, weirdly insulted. "I got a whole bunch of EXP?"

Sephiroth blinks and looks at him, his sword lowering slightly. "Did you really?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah," Angeal shrugs. "Not enough to level up, but still a bunch."

Sephiroth states at him blankly for a moment. Then he lowers his sword completely. "Wait, EXP is a real thing?!"

"Um. Yes? You don't… remember?" Angeal asks worriedly, standing up. "Didn't you get any?"

"How does that even - no, I do remember, and I read about it in the tutorials, but I didn't think it was real! But it is. You actually get experience points from the things you kill," Sephiroth says, sounding baffled. "That's a - really?"

"It's, uh," Angeal tries to reframe the whole concept of EXP in his head. "I guess it does sound kind of strange. Uh, EXP is just the acronym Shinra came up with. It's not actually experience. It's just, you know… energy."

"Energy," Sephiroth repeats.

"Yeah," Angeal says. "You absorb the energy from things you kill. You… really didn't notice?"

"Um," Sephiroth says. "No, I didn't - how would I know? What does it feel like, how can you tell?"

Angeal clears his throat. "I just - do? There is actual equipment to measure it, but when you do the kind of work we do, after a while you can just tell. After a fight you just feel a bit… more, I guess?"

Sephiroth frowns, putting a hand on his stomach.

"You really didn't notice it at all?" Angeal asks, concerned. "You are higher level than me - I guess, at your level enemies like we've been fighting wouldn't really yield a noticeable amount of EXP." Which is weird, because Angeal got a lot.

"No, I think… I've been blocking it," Sephiroth says thoughtfully.

That's - what? "You've been - how? The only thing I know that can block EXP gain is a Curse - wait," Angeal says and takes a closer look at him. "Do you have a Cursed Ring on you, or something?"

"There are curses now?!" Sephiroth asks, exasperated.

"Not curses - a Curse, it halts your growth," Angeal explains and checks him over, baffled. Sephiroth isn't wearing any accessories. Huh. "You don't feel like you have a Curse?"

"Well, that's good to know!" Sephiroth says and shakes his head, stepping back. He's thoughtfully quiet for a moment, still with his hand on his stomach and then he shrugs, far too careless and casual. "Ah, never mind, Angeal, I'll figure it out," Sephiroth says and grips Masamune's hilt again. "Whatever. I'm going to practise now."

He definitely knows what the issue is. "Sephiroth -"

Ignoring him, Sephiroth starts swinging his sword, working through his forms with a sort of stubborn ferocity that clearly states the discussion is over.

After a moment Angeal lets out a sigh, fighting back that feeling of uneasy tension building up again. "Okay, okay, fine," he says, holding up his hands in surrender. "Can I practise with you?"

Sephiroth glances at him and then arches a brow. "I don't know," he says and smirks. "Can you?"

#Fanfiction #ffvii #Ff7 #svsss #angeal hewley #sephiroth #shen qingqiu #shen yuan

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katyswrites · 1 year

Text

don't call me 'baby'

PART 3 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, swearing, alcohol use, smoking, age gap, allusions to sex

Wordcount: 6.1k

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 3 | this path is reckless (and I like it)

Six o’clock finally came torturously slowly, the minutes on the clock passing like molasses. At five minutes-to, the bell above the door rang, and Steve strolled in. He caught your eye to where you stood behind the counter, and nodded. You shot him a small smile, but felt your stomach turn - whether it was excitement or anxiety, you couldn’t quite tell. But, you couldn’t deny that you were happy to see him. You felt stupid, considering that he had explicitly said he wasn’t planning on asking you out - but, what else could it be?

As soon as Steve saw you making your way over, he smiled briefly, before nodding to the chair across from him. He already had ordered two coffees - one for himself, which he was halfway through, and a cappuccino, right at your seat.

“Hey there,” you said, feigning a casual and friendly air as you sat down. “Oh, um, thanks - you really didn’t need to order me anything.”

He shrugged. “I figured you might be tired - I took a wild guess about what you liked, though. Don’t feel like you have to drink it if you don’t want -”

“No, it’s great,” you assured. “I could probably do with a pick-me-up, anyways. Long day.”

“Okay, good,” he said. It was silent again for a moment, both of you just pretending to be incredibly interested in your drinks instead of each other, waiting for the other to say something. You already knew that this wasn’t a date. But, even worse, it didn’t feel like one at all - it felt more like a business meeting, between two strangers. Then again, isn’t that what you were?

You could only stand the anticipation for so long - you were many things, but patient wasn’t one of them.

“So… what did you want to talk to me about?” you asked. “Is this about last night? Because, i was pretty drunk, so - if you didn’t want me to kiss you, I’m sorry, that was my fault… I might’ve misread things, but if you aren’t interested, that’s fine - you’ve been more than nice, and I didn’t want you to think that I -”

“Why are you living in Italy?” he asked.

Not what you expected. Still, it was fair enough - beyond tourists, you were probably the first American he had encountered here.

“Oh - well… that’s kind of a long story.”

He shrugged again. “I’d love to hear it, if you want to tell me, that is.”

You thought for a moment, placing your mug on the table as you decided exactly which details to disclose to him.

“Well… my home life… let’s just say, it wasn’t great. I grew up in a tiny town in upstate New York, and… I mean, I knew I always wanted to get out of there. So, I applied to colleges as far as possible - mostly big cities, like New York, Boston, Chicago, even out in California. I didn’t plan on leaving the States, necessarily - but I applied to the American University of Rome, just for kicks, since I knew they offered a U.S.-accredited degree. I didn’t think I’d get in, let alone actually go. But, they made a great offer - basically a full ride. And, it got me as far from home as possible. So I left, and never really looked back. And now, I only have one semester left, which is pretty crazy, but… I’m glad I did it.”

It felt nice, to actually get that off of your chest - Robin was one of the only people you really ever talked about this stuff with. There was a lot still left unmentioned, but it still made the man across from you seem less like a stranger, like someone you could maybe trust.

“Was it hard? Moving to a whole other country, I mean?”

He was asking sincerely, but you were still wary as you answered.

“Yes, and no,” you admitted. “There was definitely a culture shock - I had to learn a lot about the city, the people, and a whole new language. But, it really is great here. And, I’m glad I found Robin - someone from home, kind of. But, it’s been… a lot of work.”

He raised an eyebrow. “In what way?”

You sighed, measuring your words carefully.

“I’ve done pretty well in school, but I didn’t know that Rome was one of the most expensive cities in the world until after I moved here. I mean, I scraped together most of the money I had just to buy my plane ticket. And, campus housing was expensive, so I bounced between hostels and friends’ couches my first couple of years, until I was able to save up a little. That took a bit, too - turns out Italy doesn’t have a set minimum wage, either. Who knew right?”

You chuckled dryly at that last part, and winced inwardly - that was far too much information, and he didn’t need to know any of that. You thought again about the money he had sent, how he casually had a personal driver on hand, the clothes he wore - he probably pitied you, couldn’t even be bothered to consider you as a -

“Is that why you have two jobs?” he inquired. There’s only sincerity behind his question, like he was truly trying to understand.

You nodded slowly, meeting his eyes. It occurred to you then that this felt like some strange job interview - well, a job interview with a man you drunkenly kissed on the sidewalk the night before. You shivered at the memory.

“How old are you again?” he asked.

“Twenty,” you replied, recalling his age from his I.D. - he had just turned thirty, if your math was right.

“Jesus,” he whispered, mostly to himself. He leaned back in his chair, brow furrowed. You noted how he was fidgeting a bit with his fingers, shifting in his seat - was he nervous? Why?

“Okay, I guess I’ll just get to it,” Steve conceded, leaning forward again. He folded his forearms on the table and leaned it, his gaze focused on yours. He was ramping up to something, but nothing could have prepared you for what.

“What if you didn’t have to worry about money anymore?” he posed, his voice low and steady.

You furrowed your brow, confused. You felt your stomach flip again, you mind racing to a million and one implications.

“I - what?”

He sighed, running one hand through his hair as he gathered himself.

“I - Jesus, okay, this is harder than I thought. I’ve never really done this before, so just, bear with me, yeah?”

You frowned, but nodded, giving him a moment to continue.

“First of all, don’t apologize for kissing me. I mean, I was really hoping you would,” he admitted.

You felt something flutter in your chest, and fought with everything you had to keep your face neutral.

“You - you were?”

He nodded.

“Yeah - I mean, not that I was expecting it, but - I wanted to. But - earlier, you said something about me not being interested in you… that’s not true.”

You wanted to jump up and down with glee, but you couldn’t help and feel that there was a big but coming.

“- but, I’m not exactly looking for anything right now. Well, anything serious. I just… a relationship can’t happen for me, not right now. And, I don’t know if that’s going to change anytime soon. I’m only in Italy until the end of the summer anyway.”

You felt your heart sink in your chest, like a balloon deflating. There it was - it explained a lot.

“Oh,” you said softly, doing your best to not let the disappointment bleed through. “That’s fine - I get it, really. Thanks for letting me know -”

“Wait, it’s not just that,” he explained. “I - fuck, okay, give me a second here. I was thinking of having an… arrangement, with you.”

You cocked an eyebrow, sitting up a bit straighter in your chair.

“An arrangement?” you echoed.

“Yeah,” he said. “I - I want to keep seeing you. But, with an understanding - that there wouldn’t be personal feelings involved, it’d just be something fun, for you and me. And, maybe you could occasionally be my date to work events, galas, that sort of thing.”

You kept your face as stoic as possible, taking in what he was asking. But before you could formulate a thought, he continued:

“And, in exchange… I could help you out. I can give you a monthly allowance, conver all your major bills, student loans, if you have any… and, if there’s anything you want to buy yourself, like, new shoes or something?”

“What makes you think I want shoes?” you bristled, suddenly becoming defensive as you truly started to comprehend what he was proposing.

“Nothing!” he exclaimed, backtracking. “I’m just saying that… if there’s anything you want, I can take care of it. To thank you, for your… discretion.”

You felt your face heat, the blood rushing into your cheeks and roaring in your ears. Here he was, a man you were only just getting to know, asking if you wanted to be his… his -

“You wouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, of course,” he added quickly, his own cheeks starting to twinge pink. “I mean, I’d never pressure you into anything - I wouldn’t do this if you didn’t consent, I mean.”

“And if I don’t consent?” you asked, your words coming out as more of a snap than you intended.

“Then I’d leave here, right now, and you’d never have to see me again,” he assured. “And, I’d send you another sum of money to at least cover your rent for the rest of the year, for even insulting you with the offer. But… I do think this could help both of us.”

You bit your lip, grabbing a paper napkin from the table and twisting it in your hand.

“Can it? I just… I feel like you’re not the kind of guy that needs to pay for sex. I mean, what’s in it for you?”

He hesitated for a second, and it occurred to you that he’s nervous, perhaps more than you.

“It’s not just sex,” he admitted. “I mean - it’d be nice, to have someone kind of consistent, and to know she wouldn’t expect anything. That’s the point of the agreement, I guess. But also… you saw who I work with. They’re always on me, about being ‘married to my work,’ all of that. So -”

“You want me to be your arm candy?” you finished bluntly. He turned just a bit more red at that.

“I wouldn’t put it like that, but - yeah, basically. After that stunt at the restaurant… I think they’d respect me a lot more, to be honest.”

“And you think I’m pretty enough for that?” you asked dryly, mostly to yourself as you laughed inwardly at the idea.

“Yeah, I do,” he whispered.

You froze for a moment, caught off-guard by his response - and, you hated how it made something warm bubble inside your chest, especially in the given situation. You just nodded, tearing at the napkin in your hand.

“Can I just ask you one thing?” you posed.

“Sure, anything.”

“Why don’t you want a relationship?”

His eyes widened, like that was the last thing he ever expected. Something unreadable passed his features, and he thought for a moment before replying.

“Honestly? I’m really busy. HNL is working on expanding through Europe - or, in Brenner’s words, dominate. And, I’m trying to work my way up to CEO - I think I have a good shot, once he retires. Having someone… it’d distract me. And, I don’t think it’d be fair to her, either - I can’t fully commit the time, not right now.”

It was an honest answer, at least from what you could tell. Still, what he was proposing… It seemed crazy. Too good to be true. If he had taken you home last night, and just made it clear it was a one-time thing… you would have let it happen. You knew that with near-certainty. If Steve had just become a fun story to tell one day, that would’ve been fine by you. But this…

“Can I think about it?” you asked. He nodded vigorously.

“Yeah - yeah! Of course. Here -”

He handed you his phone, pulling up the blank contact form on the screen.

“- put your number in here. So you can get in touch, if you make a decision, or for… whatever.”

You took it from him, typing out your full name and phone number with shaky hands. Your palms were sweaty, the weight of what he wanted from you.

When you handed it back to him, he glanced down, and stuck the phone back in his pocket.

“Great - well, um, I’ve kept you long enough after work -”

“Oh, yeah - I should probably get home, anyways. I’m on dinner tonight, for me and Robs.”

He stood when you did, chairs scraping on the floor as you stepped away from the table, leaving two empty coffee mugs and a napkin torn to bits.

“Let me call my car, to drive you home -”

“No,” you said firmly. “I - I want to walk for a bit, actually. To clear my head, if that’s alright.”

He just nodded curtly, and you both just stared at each other for a moment. It was awkward now, like you were now leaving the job interview not knowing if you felt good about getting the job. Do you hug? Should you just leave?

You opted to shake his hand, extending your hand towards his until he took it. It felt strange to do that, but before you could dwell on it, you were mumbling a rushed talk to you soon, and running out the door.

As soon as you were out of sight of the coffee shop, you let out a deep exhale - this could not be your life. But somehow, it was.

As you walked down the cobblestone streets, you became convinced that the whole interaction was in your imagination - perhaps you were still dreaming, and your alarm clock would wake you up at any moment. That was, until, you heard your phone ding:

Maybe: Steve

Hey - this is Steve. Steve Harrington, in case you forgot - I realized you probably also need my number, right? Have a good night.

Jesus, he writes texts like a dad. A grandpa, even. You stared at the message for a moment, reading it a few times - yes, this was real. You took a moment to add the number to your contacts, typing out Steve Harrington slowly. Then, you stuck it in your bag, and continued on your walk, doing everything you could to not check it for the rest of the way.

Your walk home was nearly an hour - reasonably, you should’ve taken Steve’s offer, or at least the bus. But you charged ahead, breathing in the air as dusk started to overtake the day, the sky darkening to the telltale hues of pink and orange. Summer was beginning to show its face, the days stretching just a bit longer, the warmth just a bit more persistent, creeping in as spring met its final days.

It was your favorite time of year - just before the true heat of summer set in, the promise of bright days ahead and winter long-dead in its grave. And thankfully, it meant darkness was only truly settling in when you reached your apartment - you had arrived there on auto-pilot, spending your whole walk home thinking of Steve’s offer.

You were bouncing back and forth, between telling him to fuck himself, and jumping at the opportunity to take everything he had to offer you.

When you walked up to the third floor and jostled the door open with your keys, the apartment was dark - indicating that Robin had hardly left her room all day. But, you needed to talk to her. You needed someone else to tell you that this was insane, outlandish, unbelievable -

When you knocked on her door, you were met with a muffled hmmm, what?

You opened her bedroom door slowly, only to see Robin under her covers, her room still dark. She was only illuminated by the light of her phone’s screen, where she was no doubt doom scrolling for the last few hours, if not all day.

“Hey, you,” you whispered. “How’re you feeling?”

She groaned, sitting up in bed.

“Only marginally better. But, I think I’ve taken the legal limit of ibuprofen, so I have to wait the rest out.”

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“I would say I feel bad for you, but I’m not sure I do.”

She chucked a pillow in your direction, narrowly missing your head.

“Asshole,” she grumbled.

“Love you too,” you replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.

Robin rubbed her eyes, yawning.

“So, how was work?”

Jesus - how were you supposed to answer that question?

“Oh, uh - good, I guess. Well - okay, if I tell you something, will you promise not to freak out? Because like, I really need your advice here.”

“Uh, yeah, okay - that’s totally not ominous.”

“Well, you know Steve?”

“Our savior, you mean? Yeah. I mean, he did bring us back last night, right? I didn’t make that up?”

“No,” you confirmed. “You didn’t. But, before you found us last night… we kind of made out.”

That got Robin to sit up straight, looking more alive than she had all day.

“Oh? You made out with moneybags??? And didn’t tell me?”

“To be fair, you were incapacitated.”

Robin rolled her eyes playfully, then held up her hands defensively.

“Yeah, okay, whatever - well, did you get his number or something?”

You sighed, gathering yourself as you figured out how to answer that question.

“Well, kind of - not last night. But, he came to visit me at work today… I kind of told him where I worked last night while we were talking.”

Robin’s eyes widened, and she grinned.

“Wait, he showed up at work? Oh my God, he’s into you -”

“Not so fast,” you said. “I - he asked to meet with me after my shift. So, I did, and… well, he -”

“He what?” Robin asked, clearly impatient. “Did he ask you out? C’mon, you’re killing me here -”

“He offered to be my sugar daddy,” you said quickly, the words tumbling out. It was the first time you had said it out loud, and it felt ridiculous to even put it that way. But, that’s what it was, no matter how you sliced it.

For maybe the first time in her life, Robin had no words. Her mouth hung open, and you could’ve sworn you saw her brain reboot as she comprehended exactly what you just said.

“I - I’m sorry, what?”

“Well, that’s basically what he offered. Maybe there’s maybe a better term for it, but -”

“No, no, you need to tell me exactly what he said,” Robin demanded, crossing her legs on the bed.

So you did. You explained every detail of Steve’s offer, as best as you could remember, watching how every version of disbelief and awe passed Robin’s face. It was only after you were done that she spoke:

“So, you’re doing it, right?”

You stared at her, eyes wide.

“What? I - I thought you’d tell me it’s a terrible idea -”

“Girl, no - I mean, think about it. He’s offering to pay you, enough that you don;t have to wear yourself down with work anymore, and you’ll get laid? It’s a win-win. Besides, I don’t even like men, and I can acknowledge that the guy is pretty easy on the eyes. I mean, we’ve established he’s not a murderer, right?”

You shrugged.

“I think so - he told me his full name, knows that I told you everything - if he’s a murderer, he’s one who's looking to get caught. But… this is crazy, right?”

Robin just shrugged, a mischievous look in her eye.

“Maybe. But, who ever said crazy was bad? I mean, if you really don’t want to do it, then don’t. But, do you have any reason not to?”

It was those words that rang through your head, all through your dinner (which ended up being a modge-podge of leftovers, after realizing that neither of you had done a proper grocery shop in a while), all while you and Robin watched a movie, and long after she went to bed.

It was nearly midnight when you pulled out your phone, staring once again at Steve’s text. You knew you should probably respond via text - there was a good chance he was already asleep. But, something else compelled you to tap on his contact and press call.

One ring. Two. On the third, a muffled click, and his voice, groggy and low.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you whispered. “It’s me.”

“Oh! Hello,” he replied, sounding considerably more awake.

“I’m sorry - were you asleep?”

“Hm? No, no - don’t worry about that. Are you okay?”

You nodded, before remembering that he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah - yes. It’s just… I’ve thought a lot about your offer.”

Silence. Then, “...okay? And?”

He sounded cautious, and maybe even hopeful. You took a deep, shuddering breath before answering:

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

*******

You didn’t actually see Steve for a few days after that. You did receive a text the following morning from Steve, which only read:

Let me know what days and times you’re free. We can meet to set up the arrangements.

And that was what the next few days entailed. First, you had a Zoom meeting with Steve, which felt ridiculously formal. He explained that it was because he was at work, and it was easier this way - by the end of it, he had set you up with a personal separate checking account and a platinum credit card. You had insisted that it wasn’t necessary, afraid he’d get in trouble, but he had only waved off your concerns - don’t worry - you’d be surprised what some of my colleagues get up to. Besides, as far as my accountant is concerned, you’re a client.

A few days later, a car pulled up to your apartment - Steve’s car. Only, he wasn’t in it - his driver informed you that he was there to pick you up for your appointment. The appointment, it turned out, was with a seamstress named Valentina, a bombastic and impassioned woman who had once worked for Versace before leaving to open her own independent brand as a designer. As you stood on a raised block and she measured every inch of you, all she wanted to do was talk. She prattled on about her job, her wife, her annoying neighbor, the fact that she’s a week behind on tailoring a wedding gown for some politician’s daughter. You managed to ask how she knew Steve, and she explained how she’s tailored all of his work attire in the time he’s been in Europe - he’d even had his suit shipped to her during his winter in London. Her rambling was occasionally interjected with what lovely arms you have, or you’d look gorgeous in this color, don’t you think?

Eventually, you worked up the courage to ask, “So, uh, what exactly are you going to make for me? Like, a dress?”

Valentina stopped mid-measuring, glancing up from where she was kneeling in front of you.

“You don’t know?” she asked.

You just shook your head in response, and she laughed.

“Well, Signore Harrington was quite clear - I am to make you everything.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean, everything?”

“He said that everything you want to wear is to be made by me. Or, if you buy something else you like, I’m meant to tailor it, too. That’s why I’m keeping your measurements on file - to make sure everything fits you just right.”

“Oh.”

That was all you could muster. You had seen all of the fine, beautiful piece at the front of Valentia’s shop when you arrived - you had assumed maybe she was making one dress for you, for a special occasion. Or, you’d be picking something from the shop, and that was it. But this… how much money did Steve have?

“Nothing but the best, for Signore Harrington,” Valentina continued, resuming her work. “Which means nothing but the best for his ragazza.”

Girlfriend. You didn’t know whether that was a cover story Steve told her, or just an assumption she’d drawn, but you just chose to not respond, even as the word and all of the falsehoods behind it swirled in your mind.

It wasn’t until nearly a week later that you actually heard from Steve again. It’s another text, and you don’t see it until your lunch break during a coffee shop shift. It reads:

Are you busy tonight?

You stared at the text for a few moments, pondering everything it implied. Was this it? The beginning of… whatever this was? You took a moment to think, then replied:

No, why? I work until 4 and then I’m free

You saw the three dots appear for a second, then disappear. Then, his reply:

You’re working?

Yea I always work 8-4 on Thursdays

You don’t need to do that, you know.

Are you saying I’m not allowed to?

Of course you are, but just know that you don’t need to. I’ll take care of you.

You read that last sentence a few more times than was probably necessary. Then, he texted again:

So, you are free tonight, yes?

You pause for a moment before sending yes.

Great - I’ll come pick you up at 7? Let’s do dinner.

Then, the bell above the door was ringing, and your manager was calling for you as the line of customers grew, your 15-minute break somehow already over.

Sounds good see you then

That was how you found yourself practically sprinting out the door when your shift ended, just barely catching the bus, internally wishing it would skip every other stop by some miracle and get you home as quickly as possible. That, of course, doesn’t happen, and you briefly wondered if you should’ve just used your credit card and called a taxi. The thought suddenly feels ridiculous - you hadn’t actually used any of Steve’s money yet. You knew he said you should, but it felt strange to just frivolously spend someone else’s money like that. So instead, you leaned your head against the bus window, and willed it to move faster.

When you finally arrived home, you were only in the door for a few seconds before Robin was running up to you, eyes wide with glee.

“There you are! Look at this shit - did you know this was coming?”

“Did I - what?” you asked, confused and still a bit out of breath from how briskly you trekked two blocks and up the stairs.

“Okay, clearly you didn’t - c’mere, some lady came and dropped this off earlier today -”

You followed her as she spoke, stopping in your tracks at your bedroom door.

“What the -”

Hanging in your doorway was a thick garment bag on a gold hanger, the door propped open with a dark, leather-bound trunk.

Before you could ask anything else, you were unzipping the bag with shaky hands, gasping as you saw the contents - inside were four dresses, probably nicer than anything you’d worn in your life, all adorned with Valentina’s sigil on the inside.

“Whoa,” Robin said from behind you. “Are those from -”

“Yeah,” you said, cutting her off. “I - I think they’re all custom-made.”

It was then that you noticed a small envelope tucked inside, with a now-familiar wax seal. You practically tore it open, and it read:

I had Valentina send over these first few garments - there’ll be more to come. I think the white one would look great on you for tonight, with the gold shoes. I’ll see you at 7.

S.H.

“Holy shit,” Robin whispered, followed by a low whistle. “He’s really taking this whole thing seriously, isn’t he?”

You nodded, running your thumb over Steve’s handwriting a few times.

“Okay, you’ve got to tell me - is he just like, really bad in bed or something? Like, is that why he’s doing all this -”

“I wouldn’t know,” you admitted. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Wait - you haven’t slept with him yet?”

You shook your head, pinching the fabric of the white dress hanging in front, feeling the soft satin between your fingers.

“No,” you said. “I’m seeing him tonight, though.”

“Holy shit,” Robin said. “How is this your life now?”

You shook your head in disbelief.

“I have no clue.”

*******

Two hours later, after a long, contemplative shower, and fussing maybe a bit too much with your hair and makeup, you found yourself wearing the dress and heels from the trunk, as instructed. Well, it was more of a suggestion than instruction, but who were you to object?

The dress had slipped on with ease, and it was maybe the lightest, softest thing you had ever worn - it fit like a glove, enough that you didn’t think a single other person in the world could put this on if they tried. You understood now why Steve used Valentina - she was damn good at her job.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, not exactly recognizing yourself. It felt like you were going to some costume party, if the costume in question was a dress finer than anything you’d ever worn and shoes that probably cost more than you were willing to find out. The dress was light and flowy, hitting right above your knees. You did a quick 360, and took a deep breath - this was fine. It was great, actually - it was just dinner, that was all. Maybe. Probably.

When you emerged from the bedroom, Robin nearly fell off of the couch, jaw slack.

“Who are you, and what’ve you done with my roommate?”

You rolled your eyes, giving Robin a spin for the full effect. She just laughed, shaking her head incredulously.

“Seriously, though - you look great. Like, sophisticated, but in a hot way, I promise.”

“I don’t know if that’s a thing,” you said.

“‘Course it is, I’m looking at it!”

Before you could say anything else, you heard your buzzer ring - someone was downstairs.

You shared a look with Robin, and she bounced excitedly on the couch, urging you to answer. You went to the intercom, pressing the talk button and leaning in closely, remembering how notoriously bad the sound quality on this thing was.

“Um, hello?”

“Hey - it’s me,” Steve’s voice said, distorted a bit through the crackly speaker. “Are you ready to go?”

Oh, God. He actually came to the door.

“Yep! I’ll be down in a minute!”

“Are you sure? I can come up, if you want -”

“No!” you replied quickly - you glanced back at your tiny, and currently messy, apartment, and imagined he’d die if he ever saw it.

“It’s okay - it’s a third floor walkup… I’ll come down.”

“Yeah, okay,” he conceded.

You shot a glance back at Robin, who was giving you two thumbs-up.

“Wish me luck,” you said, suddenly feeling waves of anxiety rolling through you - this was suddenly so real, what the Hell are you even doing -

“Don’t do that,” Robin said firmly.

“Do what?”

“Freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out -”

“Yeah, you are,” she interjected. “It’s fine - in fact, it’s less pressure than a real date. And I’ve got your location, so if you go missing -”

“Ha, ha,” you replied, voice laced with sarcasm. “Goodnight, Robin.”

Before she could tease you or ask any more questions, you were out the door and heading down the stairs, heart fluttering as you descended each flight, knowing it’d bring you closer to him.

And, when you opened the door, there he was - much more formal than the last time you had seen him, wearing a slim-fitting suit and a friendly smile. When he saw you, he stepped back for a moment, eyes widening.

“I - wow. Look at you.”

You felt your heart flip, your face flushing.

“Well, I have you to thank for that. Or, Valentina, I guess.”

“Oh, yeah,” he agreed. “Mostly Valentina - I don’t really know anything about women’s fashion, so I told her to do what she thought was best for you.”

“And did she?” you asked.

He looked you up and down again, nodding.

“I’ll say - you really do look beautiful, you know,” he said, voice a little softer now.

You felt your face heat even more, and decided not to respond. After a moment, Steve stepped back and waved you ahead, following you down the steps towards the car parked on the curb. He opened the door for you, allowing you to slide in across the backseat before following.

As the car peeled away and onto the road, Steve cleared his throat.

“So - I got you a little something.”

Before you could ask or protest, he was handing you a small white box. You opened it slowly, gasping as you got a look inside - it was a necklace. A gold necklace, with a diamond pendant that glistened more than anything you’d ever seen. The whole thing must’ve been real - you were no expert, but it had to be. It was simple, but so clearly nicer that any of the plated stuff you had sitting on your dresser at home.

You just held the box in your hand, staring at it for a moment as you examined the contents. You slowly traced the chain with your finger, your thoughts only interrupted by Steve.

“If you don’t like it, we can return it, and you can pick out something you like better - I have the receipt, I just didn’t really know what you liked -”

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered. You realized he had taken your silence for rejection, and the idea was enough to make you sick.

“But - I can’t accept this. It must’ve been so expensive -”

“Don’t worry about that,” Steve interrupted. “I wanted to get you something nice, and I thought it’d look nice on you.”

You glanced to the front of the car to gauge how much the driver was paying attention, and leaned in closer to Steve with a whisper.

“You already wired me my rent, tuition, and my allowance - which was a crazy amount, by the way - and, the clothes, all of it… not that I’m not grateful. I am, I just… you’ve already spent so much, you’re going to end up spoiling me -”

“Maybe I want to spoil you,” he murmured.

Whatever you were planning on saying next vanished, the words dying in your throat. So you just went quiet, looking down at the necklace in your lap again.

“Can I?” he asked.

Knowing what he was asking, you nodded, gathering your hair to the side as he extracted the necklace from its box. He unlatched it and pulled it up around the exposed slope of your neck, his fingers brushing your skin as he closed it again. You felt your breath hitched, the feeling of his fingers ever-so-lightly touching you lighting your skin on fire.

“I do have a question,” you asked, fixing your hair as you gazed down as where the pendant rested on your sternum.

“Mm hm?”

“If - if I suddenly changed my mind about this - this whole arrangement… do I need to pay you back?”

He shook his head fervently.

“No - definitely not. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do - if you ever want to stop, let me know, and you can keep whatever I’ve given you. No need to pay me back, I promise. You’re allowed to change your mind, I - I don’t own you.”

“Right,” you said, biting your lip. Then you managed to finally meet his gaze, and he was looking at you so sincerely it made you want to cry. And his face was close - so, so close.

Then, you were leaning across the seat and bringing your hand to cup his jaw, pressing your lips to his. He tensed for a second, then leaned into the kiss. You pulled back after a moment, and he just stared at you, bewildered.

“What was that for?” he asked softly.

“To say thank you,” you replied, hand still brushing his face.

“And,” you added, “I’ve actually changed my mind about one thing.”

His brow furrowed, and you realized that you accidentally sent him into panic mode.

“About what?”

“Let’s skip dinner,” you whispered. “I want to go to your place instead.”

Author's note: thanks everyone for all the enthusiasm for the story so far! Just a warning, there's a lot of smut ahead, so get ready for that! As always, shoutout to Em, who's basically my co-author. Your replies, comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated!

Reply if you'd like to be added to the series' taglist

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#steve harrington #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington/fem!reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #don't call me baby #dcmb #dcmb fic #sugardaddy!steve harrington #modern steve harrington #stranger things fanfic

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worlds-oldest-teenager · 11 months

Note

I’m interested. How do Apollo and Artemis’s desire to protect each other drive a wedge between them?

I'm glad you askeddd. Thank you for being my first anon ever btw. (@crowmakeska-boom idk if you are the anon but anon, whoever you are, sorry for the wait). This is probably not a very good meta cause it's mostly vibes, gut feelings and filling in the blanks with below the bare minimum of textual evidence but oh well.

First I'd like to talk about why I think Artemis and Apollo's relationship is kind of distant. They're a confusing duo. When you first meet them in the titan's curse it may seem they don't like each other much or atleast Artemis seems to not be paticularly fond of her brother. Calling him “irresponsible”, “lazy”, “big headed”. But reading between the lines reveals how much the two of them care for each other, especially on Apollo's part from all the illegal help he was dishing out to the questers.

But then when you read some more, their relationship just feels a tad too distant to completely take what they say as just banter. When we see them on Delos in Blood of Olympus the distance is literal. They're recycling banter that's getting old and you can tell that even if it had been lighthearted before, it’s definitely getting on both their nerves now (stolen from fsinger lmao). They’ve both been playing the part for a long time but it feels like they don’t have the closeness anymore to recognize they’re both just playing parts.

So what happened?

I think it's their need to protect each other that's causing this rift between them. From my point of view Artemis & Apollo are protecting each other from different things but Olympus is at the core of it for the both of them.

The twins have a very different experience of Olympus. Since her introduction Artemis seems pretty critical of Olympus. According to the hunters she's the only one who can get the ball rolling during solstice meetings and she's shown to not really act the Olympian way. Taking the sky off the shoulders of a mortal girl. Shrinking herself down to make the human heroes feel more comfortable and demanding they get rewarded.

It wouldn't be far fetched to assume that she's never fit in with Olympus and doesn't agree with most of the views of her family.

Then there's Apollo.

Who fits in so perfectly with the messed up inner workings of Olympus or so people think. He's perfected his mask over the years and no one is the wiser about the abuse he's gone through or even the fact that this isn't actually who he is.

To me, Artemis wants to protect Apollo from Olympus' true nature. In her head she's got every part of Olympus figured out and for the most part she has. Even if it's not something that works for her I think she would want to protect her younger brother from knowing what the kind of people he surrounds himself with are truly like.

I feel like Artemis would be conflicted on it for other reasons too because if Apollo is aware of the kind of people the Olympians are and he's alright with that, what kind of god is Apollo?

So she'd much rather think of him as stupid and irresponsible cause those atleast mean that it isn't he isn't a bad person. But I feel deep down she doesn't really believe completely that what she knows of her brother is correct.

But then she sees the way Zeus loves Apollo and cares for him and in her mind it's the right decision to let him live this way. He is safer now than they ever were as children.

Apollo on the other hand wants to conceal their father's true nature from Artemis. We know that he cares deeply about appearing fine on the surface because of how others would worry and who would worry more than his older sister.

Artemis and Apollo may be the protectors of youth but the first ever youth they protected were each other. It's the foundation of their relationship and caries on into the present day. Both of them feel a desperate need to protect each other.

I would go so far as to say that this is THE relationship they have with each other. The both of them never find comfort in each other, only protection. You can tell that comfort is not something they usually derive from each other from the way they're both completely blindsided by simple things like an "I love you" , a hug and just concern in general.

Comfort from each other is not a priority for them no matter how much they crave it. The twins purpose to each other is to protect.

So of course Apollo would never tell Artemis about the way Zeus hurts him.

I also think there's a little bit of denial on Artemis' part on just how abusive Zeus is. Cause Apollo is dropping hints. Even the way Artemis talks during Blood of Olympus makes it clear that she understands Zeus is gonna massacre the guy. She just doesn't want to believe it will be permanent.

And it's got a lot to do with the fact that she wants to protect him. Because if she acknowledges this isn't a situation Apollo is gonna come out from unscathed that means that she's incapable of protecting him. That means that she's failed to protect him before and cannot protect him again.

So she'd much rather pretend that Zeus is persuadable and not that bad. That it's Apollo's fault Zeus comes down so hard on him and if he were a little better and a bit more like her he could be safe.

And this would hurt Apollo because Artemis can pinpoint exactly what Zeus is like. But instead of comforting him she confirms for him that this is his fault. That if he could be better none of this would happen. Artemis helps prevent but never helps heal because helping her brother heal means he was in a position to be hurt in the first place.

All this mess and miscommunication and disbelief stemming from the fact that they love each other and never want to see each other hurt creates an impossible distance between them.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly but surely they're trying to comfort/ seek comfort instead of just protect each other.

I wept on my sister’s shoulder. I felt like if I let go of Artemis, I would fall back into Chaos. Huge parts of my identity would shake loose, and I would never be able to find all the puzzle pieces. “Whoa, there.” She patted my back awkwardly. “Okay, little fella. You’re all right now. You made it.”

Apollo's trials sucked. But I'm glad it's given the twins the opportunity to bridge the gap between their relationship again.

#trials of apollo #toa apollo #pjo apollo #pjo artemis #asks #thank you for reading #toa analysis #toa meta #tentatively #this has probably been reiterated a thousand times since the first book came out #oh well #longish #should add quotations when I'm freee #nice Argument how bout you back it up with a source🔪

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geraltofriviacollection · 11 months

Text

Chapter Seven

Paring: Geralt x Reader

Summary: Reader is thrown into the Witcher’s world. Will she survive?

A/N: I have not edited or proofread. Please do not repost, translate or copy my work without permission. Please leave comments! ❤️ “Absolutely not!” I almost shouted at Vesemir. I can see the slight glow on my skin at his suggestion.

“We have a chance to do something extraordinary. Do you know how long it has been since we had a new witcher? This could change everything with Ciri’s help.”

“How long exactly have you two been hatching up this plan? Hmm? There is something wrong with this and both of you know it. On a moral level to mutate children and not even have most survive the process is wrong. You are fucked in the head if you think I will let Ciri be a part of this.” I snarl at Vesemir. The room is getting warmer the longer this conversation goes.

“It's Ciri's choice if she wants to be a part of this.” Vesemir volleys back. I try to breathe as my vision goes red at his words. It takes a full minute before I am able to respond.

“I will be damned before I let you sacrifice more children to the cause.Tell me did you think how Geralt was going to feel at this news? I may not like it but you can bet all the rats in the keep that he’ll fucking hate it.” The tension in the room is thick as it settles in Geralt's opinion about all of this.

“Geralt will see the reason of this.” Vesemir says, but lacks a good amount of certainty.

“Fine!” I shout. “You will not do a single thing until Geralt has returned.” I tell him.

“Lass, I don’t think-”

“That was not a question, suggestion or comment. Vesemir, nothing will be done about this until he’s come home.” I grit out.

“I can make my own decisions.” I turn around to see Ciri standing in the doorway looking at us. “I don’t need your approval or Geralts to help them.” She says coming further into the room.

“Ciri, this is bigger than you-” I start but she cuts me off and turns to Vesemir.

“How can I help?” She asks, cutting me out of this completely.

“Have you ever heard of feainnewedd?” He asked her. “It’s an ancient flower that only glows in one place. Where elder blood is spilled.” He explains showing her the flower. She moves and goes to inspect the flower.

“These have been sprouting all over the training course, where I’ve bled” Shw whispers mostly to herself. “My grandmother..she hated the elves.” She says looking at all of us. I look over to Triss who is annoyingly quiet right now standing there simply reading Ciri’s reaction to this. Fucking interesting time for her mouth to be shut all of a sudden.

“Sometimes our deepest hate is for the things we can not change about ourselves.” Vesemir says. If I wasn’t so mad I might have enjoyed his imparting words of wisdom. Ciri sighs and moves to sit on the steps processing all of this. “Something bad is brewing out there. With a vial of your blood we could protect generations to come.”

“How are you so sure it will work?” She looks up at him.

“I’m not.” He plainly says.

“I’ll do it. On one condition. You have to test it on me first.” She says.

“Alright! That’s enough.I have entertained this for just about as much as my temper will allow. No one is testing anything. If we did you can be damn sure you would not be first in line for the weird juju kool aid.” I exclaim looking at Ciri.

“You aren’t my mother. I can décide my own fate.” She says not looking at me. A sharp painful flash runs through my body at her words. True her words may be but less painful they are not.

“You’re right. I’m not your mother but that does not mean that I don’t love you any less than if I was. “ I told her. “Have you thought about Geralt? Hmm? Why do you feel the need to push yourself to the edge?” I nearly shout.

“Because I am sick of being lost! Everything that I was told my whole life was a lie! And the people I love most in the world were taken from me before I could find out the truth. This might help me find a new truth.”

“Then let us help you find your way. I can’t change the past but I can help you or at the very least we can be lost together.”

“Maybe there is another way to find out where your powers came from.” I turn to see Triss standing in the doorway. Ciri’s eyes move from me to her.

“What do you mean? Like what you did with the myriapod?” Ciri asks her.

“Less scientific than what we did there. It’s called a dol dusza. The best translation of it is Valley of the Soul. It allows me to enter the deepest layer of your consciousness and allows me to uncover things that may be hidden there. Genetic memories that tell the story of who you really are. Where you come from.” Tris finishes explaining.

“Is this dangerous?” I ask Triss.

“No. It just requires that ciri and I trust each other.” I look over to Ciri and she looks at me. I nod my head in encouragement.

“All right then. I’ll do it.” Ciri tells her.

Vesemir and I cleared the table for Ciri to lay down on. Triss hops up to sit and Ciri places her head in Triss’s lap. I walk and place my hand on Ciri’s arm and she offers a small smile at me in acknowledgment. They begin with Ciri taking deep breaths and I watch as her body relaxes with every breath. Triss begins to chant in Elder the next thing I know we are all in a tavern of sorts with different people talking.

“Ciri” I called out to her. She looks around as if she hears my voice. She turns around but looks right through me. I reach out a hand but it goes right through her like a mist. “Triss!” I called out. Tris never turns.

“Can you hear that?” Ciri asks Tris looking around trying to find the source calling for her..

Neither Tris or Ciri can see me, it seems.

Ciri sees the black knight and starts to hyperventilate. Triss manages to calm her by pulling Ciri to her. Children laugh while playing a game of knuckle bones. Ciri sees her mother sitting beautifully in a green dress.

“Would you like a story?” Pavetta Ciri’s mother asks, looking over at Ciri and Triss before looking at me with a smile.

“You can see us?” Says Triss.

“What’s wrong?” Ciri asks, looking at Triss.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to work.” Tris says with a frightened look on her face. Memories start to speak to Ciri. Looking around a dark hall opens up in front of us. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to work at all.” Tris says as I follow behind them. Low murmuring of voices ensues.

Doors open and Ciri’s parents are speaking about Ciri. Little baby Ciri

“They would kill her if they knew.” Dad

“It’s a prophecy. Maybe it’s not true.’ Pavetta says stroking a small baby Ciri as she plays on the bed

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true, it only matters if the people believe it. And they will.” Man says, looking at his wife and daughter. He comes around the bed and strokes Pavetta’ s hand. “The boat’s ready. We can leave under the cover of darkness.” Pavetta nods once and looks back down at a small Ciri.

“This is it. This is the night that my parents died.” Ciri says softly. Pavetta turns and looks straight at Ciri. Triss gasps and tries to pull Ciri away. We all leave and an ominous voice calls out asking “What are you child? ……Cirilla.” It calls to her. The voices around us continue to whisper Ciri’s name.

A bright little suddenly appears before us. I see Ciri walk towards it as if in a trance. The space begins to change as feainnewedd blooms litter the ground as we enter into a forest. The sounds of a baby's cry can be heard in the distance at the lighting strings brightening the fog around us. We walk in the direction of the cry’s and the sound of humming begins to get louder.

A woman with pair hair like Ciri’s sits at the bottom of a tree humming to her crying child. The woman begins to tell the story of an elven warrior who was made to kill the human invader. As she tells the story she winces in pain, only then do we see the blood on her hands. Triss goes to the woman to help with her wound when the woman sets her child down and grabs triss by the throat. Triss calls out for Ciri as her feet dangle off the ground. I try to pull tris from her grip but my hands slide through Triss like I’m a ghost.

“You can not help us.” The woman calls out with many voices. “Child of elder blood, Child of wrath. The time of contempt is nigh. The world will die amidst frost and reborn of the new sun.Reborn of elder blood, of the seed that has been sown. A seed that will not sprout, but will burst into flame.” Her head turns back to Triss and begins to squeeze her again. I move to Ciri and try to shake her but all that I manage is a light push before my hands go through Ciri too.

Seven figures on horses come through the sky on horses and earth worldly voices cry out around us. I look back around trying to find something to stop this. I turn back to Ciri, determined to try one more time to snap her out of it. She looks at Tris being held by the elven woman and Screams Geralt's name.

I gasp as I sit up finding myself on the floor. I see Triss fall to her knees off the bed with her hand covering her throat. Ciri reaches for her and Tris flinches and screams backing herself against the wall.

“Something is ending. It’s because of you.” She gasp. “A seed that burst into flame. It’s you. You will destroy us all. I saw it.” She cries.

“Enough!” I shout trying to stand. I look at Ciri first. She looks terrified as she runs from the room. “Ciri!” I call out, but she just keeps running. I look back at Triss and see her still there weeping.

“Triss.” I say and she flinches. “Triss, everything is okay now. You’re safe.” I try to say in a soothing tone. I managed to wrap and arm around her, helping her from the floor. She starts to mumble somewhat incoherently. Once I got her from the floor. I am able to walk her down the hallway back to her room. I get her tucked into her bed and she just lays on her side eyes staring blankly at the wall. I gently tell her I will come back to check on her but she simply looks straight through me as if I am not even there.

I take off down searching the keep to find Ciri. I hear a shout that sounds as if it came from Geralt. I jog in the direction of his voice. When I enter the room Geralt is sitting at the foot of a bed Ciri is in and I see the vial in Vesemir’s hand. I look up at Vesemir and he looks to me and the room goes still. I feel the glow almost instantly looking at that vial in his hands. Ciri stands and leaves the room. I barely feel Geralt’s hand on my arm pulling me and I resist for a moment before I let him. He turns to look at Vesemir once more as he practically shoves me out of the room and we catch up with Ciri in the hall.

“Ciri, I need you to go pack your things.” Geralt tells her. She opens her mouth to say something but one look at my face and she nods and walks back down the hall. “What happened?” Geralt asks as he gently tugs for me to follow him to the great hall.

“You mean besides my almost committing murder?” He winces slightly at my barked question. I launch into a full accounting of everything he has managed to miss in the whole 6 hours he’s been gone. By the time I’ve finished, I’ve managed to calm significantly. “The reason we all think I’m here is to protect her but I’m scared for her, Geralt. It feels like with every step I’m pulling her away from the edge in the end I’m pushing her closer to it.” I express dejectedly placing my head in my hands. Geralt pulls my hands away from my face and pulls me into his arms.

“You are helping her, even when it may not seem like it. I am more grateful for it than you know.” He tells me.

“Thank you, Geralt.” I smiled at him. I pull away from him but even after his arms leave me his touch still lingers.

“You should get some rest and pack your things.” Geralt says turning to leave.

“Where are we going?” I ask him.

“The Temple of Melitele in Ellander.” He says striding from the room. I freeze knowing that name. Knowing that this is where shit actually hits the fan.

Well fuck.

@freegardenbanananeck

#geralt of rivia #Geralt #the witcher #geralt x reader #geralt x you #Geralt and Ciri #geralt x y/n #geralt fanfic

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orbdweaver · 1 year

Text

One subtle thing about Nemona that stood out to me: there’s this moment, around the 4th gym or so, where she runs up to you and apologizes profusely that she can’t battle you yet because her team isn’t balanced right yet or something

It’s a Funny Moment because

1) I’m not the one itching to battle; she is. She doesn’t need to apologize this much, it’s fine lol.

2) I’m not picky with opponents. I’ll happily fight her team in whatever wack-ass state it’s in. She’s fretting over an imaginary problem.

At the time, I wondered if it was like an honor student thing. Maybe Nemona's the kind of person who, inspired by the genuine skill, kindness, & dedication of those around her, grinds herself into a pulp trying to live up to that imagined standard.

That pressure is ENTIRELY self-imposed. If any of the adults she looks up to noticed this anxiety spiral, they’d tell her to relax, it’s fine, you’re doing too much as is and we’re proud of you no matter what, we promise. And they’d mean it, sincerely. Which of course would just make it worse, because “oh no, they’re even kinder than I thought they were, much kinder than I am, I need to work even harder to become as kind as them”.

Anyway, having completed the game, I think all of that is still *an element*. Nemona is a rich kid, student council president, honor student, and particularly close with the kindest & most influential adults in the country. The writers didn’t make her those thing on accident.

What I hadn’t picked up on was, the thing that was eating at Nemona the most was probably that she was worried she was fumbling her chance to make you her friend

Nemona, explicitly, has a weird autistic hyperfixation on Pkmn battling. Nobody else her age does. So her only real friends are adults, who, with the wisdom of age, are able to appreciate her idiosyncrasies, and know how to direct them toward something positive.

But they don't share them, as far as Nemona can tell. It’s hard to tell if someone Gets It or is just navigating around It, especially when they keep treating it as a means rather than an end.

Then you come along, showing a hint of sharing her Niche Special Interest, and she thinks “at last, this is my chance, I can make someone else Get It”.

So she tries to give you a guided tour, basically.

Nemona is already champion-rank; she is deliberately holding back & using a weak team so she can do the gym challenge alongside you. She isn’t worried her team is too weak. She’s worried her team isn’t properly tuned to give you the experience she wants you to have.

She's trying to streamline the process of you falling in love with this thing she likes. Which is of course a self-defeating effort.

The adults in Paldea are all hilariously hands-off. I think it’s fair to say that Nemona lacking a Nemona of her own is part of what helped her develop her weird special interest. The adventure of crawling thru a thorn bush is part of the fun. (I'd wager this is the ethos behind the school's mostly-unsupervised treasure hunt.)

And to her credit, I think Nemona knows this. She’s trying not to weird you out; she doesn’t want you to know she’s following you around. She *certainly* doesn’t want you to know how much she’s tying herself in knots over this, trying to determine how much contact is appropriate. She's attempting the impossible task of trying to suss out how someone is feeling without interacting or being fully honest with them, because doing either might make you think she's weird.

The arc ends appropriately anticlimactically. Of course you like the game; that’s why you started playing it. Nemona was fretting over nothing. All she had to do was consistently be there for you while you grew into what you were going to be. Which she did.

#scarlet and violet #nemona #character analysis

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oddballwriter · 9 months

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Date Night

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: You and Steven had planned on having a nice night out, but unfortunately the plan changes after a mishap

Warnings: Reader gets hurt and is taken to the hospital (nothing severe). Mentions of reader getting scrapes and a sprained ankle. The reader fell down some steps. It's mentioned that reader was wearing high heels but their actual gender is never specified.

Author’s Snip: For the clumsy bitches

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

The original plan for your date night was to have dinner at a nice restaurant and go see a play at a nearby theatre.

You managed to get the restaurant part down. But as it turns out, you and Steven either miscalculated on your timing or you were taking too long with dessert, because it was around the time that you and him should be off to the bus stop to get to the theatre. Steven managed to flag down the waiter to pay the bill while you tried to eat the rest of the dessert and it was off to the bus stop. In hindsight, running down some steps in old cheap high heels was not a good idea. But it was already too late when the heel snapped and sent you tumbling down said steps.

Now you were in the hospital laying in a bed with Steven sat in the chair next to you. You were fine, for the most part. You definitely weren't dying so that's something. Though you get bandaged for the scrapes you had gotten on your way down and your ankle put into something so that you couldn't move it since your snapped heel made it go into a weird position.

The two of you were waiting for the x-ray of your ankle to come in to see what should be done.

"How are you feeling?" Steven asks timidly. "Stupid." you replay plainly. "What? Why?" Steven worried. You turn to him with a bit of a laugh, mostly towards yourself, "Because my dumb ass decided to put my faith in shitty heels to run down steps, and then I completely ate it as a conscience." you say. "I'm just happy that I didn't bust my skull open while falling." you chuckle.

"You still hurt your ankle and ended up in the hospital though." Steven comments. You roll your eyes, "It's not a big deal. The worst case scenario is that I'll have to were a little boot for a while and need to take it easy for a few months." you explain, "It's not like I'm running around all the time." you add.

You look back at Steven, "Besides. This is something more interesting than seeing some production of Romeo and Juliet. I have you with me either way, and that's all that really matters." you smile, which earns a little smile from Steven too. "We know how it goes for them. Here, we can see what happens with us." you joke.

After a while of talking some more and laughing a bit at some jokes, the nurse comes in with a clipboard and the photos of your x-ray. "So, good news. You sustained a strain and there's no actual fracture anywhere. So that's nice." she explains, "But it is a bit of a nasty sprain and we think it's best that you wear a brace for a few weeks just so that you don't strain it as it heals." she adds.

You nod along with a "Sounds good.".

"It sure is. Just spend those days relaxing with an ice pack on it, sweetheart." she suggests. "And no more running down stairs in heels." she jokingly requests before heading off to get you that brace boot.

"Next time we have a date night, we'll be wearing slippers and eating take out." Steven says to you in a sly tone.

#moon knight #moonknight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #steven grant #steven grant x reader

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cursedvibes · 1 month

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what are your thoughts on the new jjk chapter?

I think it's pretty good. Definitely the most interesting one we've had for a while. I really missed actually being invested in leaks and reading the raws (as far as that's possible), coming up with theories etc. I have to say, I would prefer it if Yuuji and Sukuna were not related at all, but I think the uncle/nephew thing is way more interesting than having them be twins or Yuuji being the reincarnation of some ancient guy we don't know. With Jin it's a bit convoluted, but I like that it gives him a more personal connection to Kenjaku and a reason to work with them. Makes him a bit more sinister too, if he remembers who he is and was willingly going along with Kenjaku's plan for his own benefit. He was always a bit fucked up and creepy in my eyes, the way he looked at Yuuji in that flashback seemed quite a bit obsessive, not like a doting father. I'm really curious about more details on this. The relationships between Jin, Kenjaku, Wasuke and Kaori and consequently their different intentions for Yuuji have become a lot more tricky now. I wonder how Kaori fits into all this. Smells a lot like set-up for future Heian era and/or Itadori family flashbacks.

It also confirms a lot of theories about Sukuna's origin. He absorbed his twin, which explains his physique and he achieved more power through it. Besides that, I think Kenjaku being Sukuna's sister-in-law is genius lol

So, beginning of the chapter really nice. The rest...hm...well, I said that I have mixed feelings about this relation of Yuuji to Sukuna and that's mostly because I don't like him gaining Sukuna's cursed technique, although it is nice that there's at least a personal touch to it. It still seems pretty cheesy and cliche. Thank god the main character got his power-up. I also don't see this being all that necessary at the moment? Most of the damage comes from the Black Flashes + Soul Punches. I don't feel like Yuuji needed to be able to do this to get the edge over Sukuna. Feels completely unnecessary to me. The "surpassing" Sukuna was also... eh. It's not important that Yuuji is more powerful than him, he was already way above Sukuna mentally and spiritually and he was beating him up just fine too.

Might be a setup for Yuuji doing something else with Sukuna's technique that relates to the black box. Speaking of which, it's strange that this entire fight since Gojo's death all Sukuna does is spam Cleave and Dismantle, no other functions of his technique. Maybe he'll do that now. If not now, then when? While he's at it, he can also start the merger to take advantage of the chaos. I'm glad we are finally past the formulaic part of the fight (I hope). Only took us 30 chapters... now things are shaking up and become a bit more unpredictable again. Hopefully this will lead to some flashbacks and more reveals of Yuuji and Sukuna's backstories. Megumi should've woken up now too. Hard to miss Yuuji rattling his cage this much, even if you're depressed. I'm surprised we haven't seen him yet or that Yuuji made contact again during one of his Black Flashes, but maybe next chapter.

Despite some of my complaints, it's nice to be finally excited for a new chapter again. Let's see how Gege keeps it up.

#asks #jjk spoilers #jjk 257 #jjk leaks

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dr-futbol-blog · 12 days

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Underground, Pt. 2

Once they return to the Genii homeworld, their poor sense of direction is again highlighted. Sheppard actually says "I prefer a straight line" but what he actually does is the complete opposite of this. And while Rodney teases Sheppard about being lost, he's exactly as lost as he is. They walk unnecessarily close, bumping into each other. They banter. They seem to be real comfortable around each other.

Sheppard, uh. Checks McKay's assets in the barn.

He was actually watching McKay's "six" for real, too. All the team members usually arrange themselves around McKay in some formation likely because he is inexperienced in field work and a valuable asset. Here, Sheppard could have entered the barn in front of Rodney to make sure it's safe, but he opts to trail after the man, guarding him from behind, allowing McKay to lead the way. They are working as a team. Also, Sheppard does go down the hatch first to take the brunt of what ever might be in there. Later on, in the hive, he actually explicitly tells McKay "Okay, I'll cover your six. Go!"

They are having such a good time together that Sheppard actually has to remind McKay that they are there for a reason. He also seems to be continuing to educate McKay on how to act on a mission like he did at the beginning of Childhood's End:

McKay: I'm picking up a strange reading from right over there. Sheppard: Define strange. McKay: You don't know what ‘strange' means? Sheppard: I know what ‘strange' means, Rodney ... McKay: Weird, freakish, odd ... Sheppard: ... I'm just trying to determine whether it's worth getting off the route back to the village.

He calmly explain why he needs to know and needs McKay to be clear about it.

We never see Sheppard teach him about weapons other kind of military training, even though McKay does become somewhat proficient in them over the years. But this we see, Sheppard instructing McKay on what he needs to know when they're on a mission and how communication on the field differs from regular communication.

Then, of course, they get caught. Tell me McKay's first instinct here isn't to grab Sheppard's hand:

In the underground bunker scene, they mirror each other to a ridiculous extent. Once more, a sign of attraction. Even with guns pointed at them, they seems to be in this world of their own having a private conversation. They are also finishing each other's sentences.

Notable is that they're also both trying to keep the other safe, here. Sheppard communicates to McKay through a mere look that he shouldn't reveal all of their cards to the Genii. McKay, on his part, offers up his own know-how in hopes that they will be spared. It's very sweet.

The bit where Sheppard shifts in his seat and licks his lip after McKay tells him that most of his high school chess club could design an A-bomb has been pointed out by many:

Aroused? Maybe. But I've pointed out before that this mouth thing he does when he's feeling some kind of discomfort, it's a nervous tick. While they have been bantering and going back and forth all day, possibly because he's feeling uneasy that McKay has started asserting his intellectual superiority here and while it's mostly directed toward the Genii, Sheppard does receive some of it. He doesn't like it, obviously. It's natural to feel the need to be liked and respected by someone you are attracted to.

We also return to the topic of having children (cf. Childhood's End). Sheppard is worried about the radiation exposure McKay is describing. He tells Sheppard that they're going to be fine, as long as he wasn't planning on having children, clearly jesting. John's reaction is interesting:

His first, purely instinctual response is a nod to Rodney. Subconsciously yes, he does. But then he shakes his head, which is the more measured response. He also seems confused, probably because he can't be 100% sure whether McKay was joking or not. Like he's suddenly thinking at least a dozen things at the same time. Interesting that we keep return to this topic. (Also, there's kind of a ring composition going on between the final season and the first, which is why they return to the topic then).

Related to this, I did wonder about the nature of Cowen and Tyrus' relationship here. Tyrus has a daughter, so the viewer will naturally interpret him as a straight man. However, we never see nor hear any word of Sora's mother. Unlike Tyrus, Cowen has curly hair and Sora's curls are her most notable feature. Cowen very obviously holds her in high regard. But it's the way he sits down, defeated, once they return to the jumper and he finds out that they lost Tyrus, that Tyrus is dead. Like he doesn't think his legs will carry anymore. Clearly Cowen cared very deeply about Tyrus.

And oh, here is the exact moment John Sheppard falls in love (this is during McKay's technobabble about separating different radioactive isotopes which is to say, being completely in his element):

This is when he goes from being interested in and attracted to this strange person that has come into his life to "Oh sh--."

Even when they are in the wraith ship, surrounded by a thousand terrible things and McKay is about to undertake the potentially extremely dangerous task of cutting into its electric wiring, Sheppard can't quite keep his eyes off of him. One would think that cutting into a living ship, something he cannot ever have seen previously, would be pretty interesting and worth looking at. But, uh. Gotta check out the boo first. You have a problem, my friend.

(And let's maybe return to the vagina symbolism of the wraith and the hives at some other time but wow, is it not subtle).

Finally, let me point out a contrast in visual story-telling:

Weir is wearing a skimpy light tank top, Sheppard is wearing a black turtleneck sweater and his hands are folded, a universal sign of a defensive posture. They are alone in a poorly lit balcony outside, so the reason can only be her. They are made to clash, not to complement.

Whereas with McKay and Sheppard, we are not only made to note their similarity here, but also the open body language they have toward one another while having guns pointed at them by bad guys, and while they are inside, underground, in a bunker, the scene is very softly lit.

As already stated, there were so many people involved in making this happen.

#stargate atlantis #sga #sga meta #john sheppard #sheppard is bi #rodney mckay #rodney is gay #ep. underground

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the-east-art · 20 days

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Easts Supernatural Rant

Just been thinking a lot about how bad Supernatural is lately because I've been going through the weeds reading old fics I've bookmarked and there's some good SPN ones. Background info: I watched SPN nonstop in middle school (roughly ten years ago) and if you go back in time you'll see that it was the fandom I was in way back when I first made my tumblr. I watched until about... season 10? When I realized it was never going to actually get good. So I was really obsessed with it for a good while but also it has been quite a while since I actually watched it.

rant under the cut o7

Okay so anyone who has watched Supernatural knows that it didn't start out actually so... bad. Supernatural starts out decent and builds up momentum fine in my memory clear through the final of season 5. I feel like among the fandom most people know that this should have been the ending of the series. For those reading who don't know, Swan Song ends with a really beautiful monologue about endings and in a tragedy with just enough of a glimmer of hope. Like it's a good ending. And then the series just kept going. do not get me wrong - there's a lot of fun episodes and concepts explored in the *checks notes* holy shit 10 FUTURE SEASONS, but it's also where a lot of the cracks really get bad.

However, in my opinion the biggest issue with Supernatural as the seasons progress is how whittled down the cast becomes. In the first few seasons there are a lot of supporting cast that you really get attached to - there's a bar for hunters, Bobby's place, a whole network of people connected to the principle cast.

While naturally the core of the series is Dean and Sam (and eventually Castiel) almost all of the supporting cast dies. And while I think the death is good in several ways, it really pushes the stakes of the series, especially in the earlier seasons where death truly was final and wasn't a joke. However you can only kill the supporting cast for so long until the show becomes... lonely. Messy. You start to not want to get attached to new characters because of how you know they'll probably die and then not get mentioned again. Many characters after their death just kind of... fade into the background never to be seen. While I don't believe that characters need to be mourned forever, you can't help but to feel that they are dropped for convenience of the show.

This has been on my mind because, as I've been poking around the annals of ao3 looking for diamonds in the rough, I've realized that really any fics that take place in any of the later seasons (let's say 8-15) to me might as well be a different show. It's a show heralded by characters I either don't know (Griffin Mcelroy meme of 'I don't know who Jack Kline is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask) or are character so completely reshaped by the narrative that I no longer recognize them (Castiel the character that just kind of does whatever will make the story interesting I'm looking at you).

What previously is a respectable narrative becomes blown out of proportion. I was reading a fic that dealt a lot with the themes of 'free will' and what that means and how do we try and exercise it, and I realize that I forgotten that, at one point, free will had been the theme of the series. The principle trio in the fandom is called Team Free Will because of that, but pretty much after season 5 all of that is thrown out the window. The first third of the series the boys are fighting against fate, and prophecy, and roles that they have been assigned to. But in the latter part of the series, as the narrative web spins further out of control, you lose that theming.

I mostly talk about this because I kind of find it interesting to look at. About what is engaging to me as a person, and what is a red flag. What I like in a story and what I don't. And I am chiefly reminded of moments where the series drops plot point, or muddies messaging (I have been reminded what The Voicemail is and how it is never addressed). And It's sad. Because I really REALLY loved the show once, and cared for the characters. And now I take refuge in fanfiction, because a lot of the aspects of the story and settings and characters hold SO MUCH potential, that is ruined in the source material.

Uhhhh yeah. Let me know what you think and let me know if have any questions about my opinions on stuff cuz I LOVE talking about art and narrative and stories. Or let me know if you want Fanfic recs because hell yeah I do.

#spn #supernatural #rant #the east rants #I mean #I also don't give a shit about romance plots pretty much ever #so that may have affected things #*holding Garth and Kevin Tran in my hands*#I would have treated you boys better I promise

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communistkenobi · 6 months

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ive never seen any star trek stuff before i started watching tos recently, and ive been liking it a lot but the level to which i like it is definitely not proportional to how good i think it is. like its good but its also kinda shit in a lot of ways, they had kirk say the gender binary is a universal constant, most of kirks Blonde Love Interests Of The Week show zero agency in the romance or sometimes the plot in general, they constantly defy the "dont fuck with alien cultures" rule bc Other Cultures Are Weird And Need Us To Fix Them, and also its just kinda dumb sometimes! i like it mostly because A) the character dynamics are really fun and B) i love seeing the 60s bleed through the script and getting to psychoanalyze the writer based on the thematic storytelling ("this is about the cold war. this is also about the cold war. this is- yup you guessed it the cold war, theyre feeling anxious about nukes again this week. this ones about the writer hating religion. this ones about integration. surprise twist this ones an implicit criticism of solitary confinement. this ones about the cold war again but this time its a really weird but ballsy take"), but its still very much a show from the 60s written by incredibly flawed people so of course its going to be flawed? its been interesting to watch it as a shadow on the cave wall of american politics from that era and ive been having fun but idk why anyone would try and say its not politically fucked in a lot of ways. like its fine you can like this old show and also admit that the writers were not actually all that enlightened about colonialism

I really really like the show! and honestly I genuinely like that it’s openly a piece of American Cold War propaganda, I think it’s very interesting and entertaining as a living historical artefact. I’m less interested in critiquing any one part of it because I feel like the misogyny and orientalism and ableism and etc are not flaws grafted onto an otherwise uncompromised whole, they are an integral part of what tos is and what its place is in the broader popular culture. Like I do not think you can subtract any of those qualities and keep tos enact at the end it, because those gendered and racial and abled assumptions are baked into it, as they are in a lot of sci-fi. And I find the reactionary and bigoted elements just as compelling as the good parts, not because they don’t offend my political sensibilities but because I want to appreciate “the whole text” for what it is and what it does. For me they aren’t things to be ignored or blocked out, they are part of how I enjoy the show and how I understand it as a piece of art.

obviously nobody is required to engage with it in the same way, and if those things are deal-breakers (or even if you want to ignore them) then that is completely fine, I’m not your dad etc, but I think part of why I’ve been getting so much pushback from people about bringing these things up is because they are primarily invested in it as a character drama with the word “socialist utopia” pasted on top of it, and so they are engaging with tos is an idealised expression of their political values. Which isn’t novel, that is like the default mode of engagement with art online (and I am not exempting myself from this), but if you bring up the racism or colonialism or misogyny most people invoke “but it’s socialist!” as a blanket defense, as if that’s at all responsive to any of those descriptions of the show.

anyway I ALSO really like the show as character drama, legitimately Kirk and Spock are really fun characters and I’m very invested in them individually, but my main enjoyment of Star Trek is that it’s American mid-century space-race propaganda, and a lot of it is deeply reactionary as a direct consequence

#asks

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uglypastels · 2 years

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Hello 😊

How about Eddie having a huge crush on the reader but he’s unsure if she feels the same. when one day he comes in early to set up for hellfire and he finds her reading the players handbook like taking notes and stuff trying to learn more about D&D so she can surprise him and play the game he loves. Things get fluffy and it leads to a big confession and kiss 😭 I hope you have a wonderful day!!

ok but this. i love this. i swear you guys come up with the best damn ideas for fics <33 and i just hope i can deliver. (also shit, i completely forgot about the kiss etc. but if people want a pt.2 to this, i am more than happy to oblige, just hmu)

no explicit warnings. swearing.

Eddie Munson requests open // support your local writers and reblog+comment

Chapter 1: Join the Dark Side

Eddie made his way through the hallway. The chain on his jeans clinked with each step– steps, which in turn echoed through the empty corridor. It was an hour before Hellfire would start, so obviously, none of the other members had arrived at the school yet, and everyone else was most likely across campus, on the bleachers watching whatever sports game was happening that evening. So no one would be in this part of the school.

That’s what Eddie thought, at least.

He opened the heavy doors to the drama room. It had become an unofficial meet-up spot for Hellfire, primarily because of all the props that the Drama club had left behind from earlier productions. His favourite, of course, had become the large throne he liked to sit in whilst in the game.

Most days, whenever he could, Eddie would be sure to come at least an hour earlier just to finalise the specifics of the upcoming session. Of course, he had planned the entirety of the campaign months in advance, as he liked to put details in to bring back in the later sessions, but he was a perfectionist. He would spend the upcoming hour setting up his place at the table with all the books and files he had made for the forthcoming story. He would reread his notes, perhaps add in something he had thought of at the moment or cut something out he had doubts about. So, easy to say, he needed that extra hour before game time.

But when he walked into the drama room, he noticed something was off, as the lights in the room were on. Not the usual dimmed ones the club uses, but the bright overhead lighting gave the entire room a yellow and artificial glow.

He noticed you. Sitting on the ground against the wall, a large book in your lap, absolutely absorbed in it. To the extent that you didn’t see or even notice him walking up to you. Only when he said “Hi” did you scream and jump up.

‘Woah, sorry,’ he chuckled, ‘didn’t mean to scare you.’

‘No, it’s fine,’ you coughed, closing your book quickly, trying to stuff it into your bag. But Eddie had already seen the title, and his interest peaked.

‘Is that… the Basic Set?’ He pointed at the Dungeons and Dragons rulebook you were holding, the giant dragon on the cover not really allowing you to deny it.

‘Uhm, yeah, I was just… I don’t know.’ You pushed it into your backpack, zipping it up quickly. ‘I should go anyway; the game is gonna start soon, so…’ you trailed off, not having anything else to add. You just got up, threw the backpack over your shoulder and walked past Eddie, leaving him dazed and confused. Only when you were almost at the door did he speak up.

‘You´re y/n, right?’

‘yeah,’ you answered. You didn’t need to ask him back. If the Hellfire Club shirt and the untamed hair hadn’t been enough of a giveaway, maybe the smell of weed would have been. Though no one would admit it, everyone at Hawkins High knew Eddie Munson. One way or another. Maybe just in the passing of conversation, but that guy was infamous around your school. You had never talked to him, properly, before that moment, for various reasons, mostly because of what you had heard about him from your friends. It was better to not hang around the likes of him and his other freak friends.

So, when he walked up closer to you, you could feel your heart pounding faster and faster. You told yourself, there was nothing to be scared of. He was just a guy… a very attractive one, at that. You couldn’t lie to yourself. Something about him appealed to you; even if every cell in your body told you it was wrong, you were attracted to him. And maybe that was the reason your curiosity with this game of his had started.

It started, to be exact, during a certain lunch period. You were walking towards your locker to put away your books from the earlier classes and retrieve your lunch to eat outside. Eddie had been standing only a few feet away when you reached the spot. He was talking to someone, both of them wearing identical Hellfire shirts. As you unlocked your locker, you couldn’t help but listen to what they were talking about. Now, you couldn’t remember what the conversation was about anymore, but they had mentioned stuff that sounded just like a fantasy book or movie. Something that, unknown to your friends, you had seen and read a lot of. It was such an easy way to escape from the hell living in Hawkins.

Hearing them talk about it for the extended time needed to get your lunch out of your locker was enough for you to get hooked. You weren’t sure what exactly, but you were intrigued by the idea. A quick search in the yearbook for their little “Hellfire Club” told you enough. It was a Dungeons and Dragons club.

A few weeks later, when you finally made an excuse for your friend not to hang out, you went to the library and to your surprise, found an entire dust-covered shelf filled with manuals and rulebooks. You had no real intention of playing, but just wanted to know what the whole thing was about.

That led you to the Drama club classroom an hour before the big game, catching some alone time to read a few more pages of the book. You hadn’t even realised you had trespassed into the unofficial Hellfire lair.

Eddie had crossed the room now. He had his arms crossed, tapping his fingers on his bicep.

‘Would you– are you interested in playing?’

‘No,’ you said, probably too quickly. Not intending to insult him, you corrected yourself, ‘I just… was just reading into it. Don’t really know how to play.’

‘I can teach you,’ he smiled. ‘It’s not that hard, especially if you’ve got the background information already,’ he cocked his head in the direction of your backpack.

‘No, I don’t want to bother you–’

‘I didn’t mean now, if that’s what you were going for. I’ve got a campaign to run.’ He said, and you noticed his backpack left on one of the larger tables in the room.

‘You’re running for class president?’ you asked, to which he started laughing. Then you remembered: a campaign was the game, the story they played. ‘Wow, ok, that was dumb of me,’ you laughed at yourself.

‘It’s almost finished though,’ Eddie continued once his laughter died. ‘Maybe another session or two, depending on how much the rest decides to wise up. Then we’ll be starting a new one, and it might be easier for you to get started… if you’d like.’ He spoke slowly, cautiously, as if the wrong word would scare you off like a hunter stepping on a twig and scaring off his prey. And perhaps, you would have run of. The door wasn’t a foot away from you. At any given time, you could have told him to piss off and you could have walked away. Who did he think you were? Trying to get you to join his cult.

Well, you were the person to do exactly that. You had already read enough to see that nothing the media was saying was true. It was a harmless, pretty fun-looking, game, that clearly had a very strong community around it.

But it didn’t matter what you wanted. If your friends would ever find out that you were spending your evenings with Eddie “the Freak” Munson and his squad of cult members, playing some game where you would kill monsters with dice… you would never see the light of day again.

‘I don’t even have a character sheet,’ you tried to use that as an excuse, but Eddie wasn’t buying it. Instead, the corners of his lips tightened in a smirk.

‘The fact you even know what a character sheet is, sweetheart, tells me more than enough.’ He was findings this very amusing. There you were, one of the most preppy students in all of Hawkins High, holding tight on to your backpack strap hiding what most of the people you knew would almost consider illegal contraband. He could practically see the gears in your head turning, fighting the urge to join him on the dark side… not that you would even know what it meant… although, you had already surprised him aplenty in the few minutes you spent together. He wasn’t against one more revelation.

‘How about my house, over the weekend? I got nowhere else to be.’

‘I-’ you didn’t know what to say.

‘Scared your boyfriend will be upset if we hang out?’ He looked up at you from behind his eyelashes, reading your face for a reaction.

‘I don’t have a boyfriend.’ You were earnest in your response, maybe too earnest. But Eddie didn’t seem phased. Nothing of his following reaction sounded as if you had just past some kind of test or trick he tried to put up. He just nodded, maybe shrugged a little.

‘So, what do you think?’ He held his hand out for you to shake. You stared at it, probably for too long, inspecting the rings on his fingers.

‘I really got to go.’ And with that, you pulled the door open and ran off. It was true, you had agreed with your friends to meet at the game, and you were most likely running late, but your sudden exit had more to do with the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, a tightness that was rising all the way up to your chest... your throat. You didn’t know what to do, so– you ran.

You were almost at the exit leading to the fields, too, two corridors away, when you finally stopped running and an immense feeling of guilt spilt over you. What you had done was ridiculous, and extremely rude. Eddie had been so nice to you, so welcoming, and you just shut him down and ran away as if he was some psycho trying to lure you into a dark basement.

Eddie sat down at the table, trying to replay everything that just had happened in the room. Little made sense of it, but then again, when did things in his life ever make sense?

He pulled his campaign folder out of his bag. A thick and black dossier, with the Hellfire symbol, scratched onto it with a marker. Inside, a collection of scraps of paper with millions of his ideas scribbled into them. A system that would only make sense for the craziest of minds: his own.

He flipped through the pages when the door of the room opened again. He met your eyes and saw how out of breath you looked but how you tried to keep your composure. But most importantly, he saw your smile, your excitement.

‘You should probably give me your address,’ you said, still one foot at the threshold, ‘you know, if you want to meet up.’

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elucubrare · 8 months

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i'm conceptually pretty down for the prequel as a mode of storytelling - i think it's a fun exercise to show how the worldstate of the original work came about, and when it's about a specific character, I think it's a good reason to do a character study. that said, my reaction to mentor prequels tends to be "but why tho"

I think that's because

when mentors are interesting, it tends to be because a) they have goals that have some kind of mismatch with those of their mentee; b) they have a past with hints of seediness (or worse), especially in contrast to their current image; c) they have skills that are extraordinary in their intensity or their eclecticism; d) they're generally enigmatic and inscrutable.

Thus, it seems like it should be possible to write a prequel exploring either their past or how they acquired their skills, and it's not impossible, to be sure!

However, making the mentor the main character of the prequel tends to take some of the narrative interest of both the idea of prequels and the mentor themself. "how did the Archwizard become Archwizard?" well, probably they gained a lot of experience in magic somehow, or did a lot of political manipulation in their order.* Mentors tend not to have a lot of history, so we have to invent a backstory. Ok, so they came from rags to riches and forced their way into the Mage's Order. Then they did a bunch of cool things. Which is all fine! But by becoming a more straighforward coming of age and adventure story, it loses a lot of the pull of a prequel. 3a. I think there's room in there for the mentor to be doing cool stuff while the forces of history that create the problems their mentee will deal with are slowly moving pieces into place, but honestly that's really hard to pull off in a way i feel is satisfying.

I am thinking of this directly in contrast to villain prequels, which I think are, at least, conceptually more interesting. "what are the specific choices that led a person to become the specific villain they are in the main story" is a story i think has more meat to it than "how did a hero get their skills," if only because the second doesn't need to be attached to a specific preexisting story.

I also think that a lot of cool things in mentors' backstories are cooler if you don't see them on page - "That's Orstariy, who held the bridge at Terion, and who diced all night with a demon prince for the king's soul" is a complete story that I don't think is more fun with more elaboration, & in fact without more details lets me create the legend in my head, while showing it piece by piece would make it more ordinary.

In any case. It's not that it's impossible to write a good mentor backstory, I just feel like without a good reason to exist, they don't really capitalize on the parts of the concept of the prequel that I think are most dramatically juicy.

__ *honestly i would be pretty down for the Archwizard as mostly political office - it's not like the president of a university is the Best Scholar there

#my thoughts on...#i have been trying to use I-language here so hard.

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