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#the hundred ep hasn’t even aired yet
watchyourbuck · 28 days
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Me with abc for treating 911 the way it deserves
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Whenever I see people call Aang selfish he literally surrendered himself to Zuko in the 2nd episode to protect the Southern Water Tribe (not to mention Katara was close to crying and she didn't even know he was the avatar yet???) yeah i'm having feelings atm
bruhh people who call aang selfish are so deluded i can barely fathom it. like what a sad, desperate existence lmao. aang is pretty much the textbook definition of selfless and caring! he is always willing to help others/put other people before himself (even when sometimes it may be better that he shouldn’t lol). i mean literally let’s look at a few examples just from book one. aang:
surrendered himself to zuko in the second episode to protect the swt, despite having known them for less than a day
puts out the fires on kyoshi island with the unagi (even though katara was right that the safest option would be to just fly away without looking back)
helps katara (and sokka) lead the riot to free haru and the other earthbenders even though by all means they need to keep moving
praises katara’s bending abilities/teaching even when she’s frustrated that he’s picking it up so quickly compared to her
saves zuko in “the blue spirit” and watches over him until he wakes up (and even made a lil bed for him!!)
protects the refugees in the northern air temple (even though by all means he should feel outraged about the desecration of his people’s home and culture; that ep really works my nerves but it does show how aang refuses to hold on to hatred and bitterness which is admittedly very like him)
doesn’t want to learn waterbending from pakku because pakku initially refuses to teach katara, despite that as the avatar it is of the utmost importance that he learns waterbending (which katara reminds him of)
saves zuko again in “the siege of the north pt.2” (even when everyone else wants to leave him for dead)
bonus from book three: in “the southern raiders”, aang lets katara and zuko take appa with them on their ‘life-changing field trip’ - he allows them to take the last living piece of his people and culture with them on what could end up being a quest for revenge. because he trusts them and i’d argue that he wants a piece of himself with his friends even when the rest of him can’t be there. like,, that is such a powerful, selfless, loving action and people tend to overlook it because they wanna argue about ships smh
also people will say things like “oh aang abandoned his people that’s so selfish!!” lol no he was afraid. he felt lost, isolated, alone, ostracized, unprepared, whatever other synonyms you like, and again - terrified. now a hundred years later he feels incredibly guilty about what happened to the airbenders and people have the nerve to call him selfish?? lollll y’all’s arms must hurt from reaching so far!
of course this isn’t to say that aang hasn’t made selfish decisions - obviously he has (like hiding the map in “bato and the water tribe”). aang is an incredibly well-constructed and developed character, so of course he’s made selfish and stupid choices (and he learns and grows from them!! hence why he returns the map in “batwb” after less than a day and is willing to continue his journey without katara and sokka because he recognizes how he hurt them). but to try and characterize aang’s entire existence and arc as selfish? when he is literally the opposite? i mean there’s a great lil compilation here of some (not even all!) of the times that aang has supported his friends throughout the series, yet people still wanna paint him as self-obsessed when he couldn’t be farther from it. some of y’all need to rewatch the series.
anyways anon you’re absolutely right aang is an incredibly selfless, hopeful, and kind character and we should all aspire to be more like him
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marlborodean · 3 years
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annotation for my "destiel but it's just one direction playlist," mainly for my sister who hasn't seen supernatural but you guys can read it too if you want :^)
DIANA // 4x01, "Lazarus Rising"
this episode introduces Cas :) Castiel speaks Enochian but when he was trying to speak to Dean he was instead causing radio static and shattering windows :) he gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition :) he knew all of Dean’s soul just from touching him :) he left his handprint burned into Dean’s skin :)
Notable Lyrics:
how could someone not miss you at all?
i never would mistreat you, no, i’m not a criminal. i speak a different language but I still hear your call
let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes. you’ve been lonely, you don’t even know me, but I can feel you crying. let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. i don’t think you even realize, baby, you’d be saving mine
it’s only been four months but you’ve fallen down so far
i wanna reach out for you, i wanna break these walls
we all need something. if i could hold you, swear i’d never put you down
KISS YOU // 4x07, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester"
the only reason i have for this is the pure tension between Dean and Cas in this ep, which includes Dean staring at Cas's mouth and licking his lips :)
Notable Lyrics:
i just wanna take you anywhere that you like, we could go out any day, any night. i’ll take you there
tell me how to turn your love on. you can get anything that you want
if you want me to, let’s make a move
HEY ANGEL // 4x10, "Heaven and Hell"
in this ep, there is a female angel who is. i mean she’s just there to mirror what Cas will become. she is a fallen angel who rebelled because she fell in love with humanity :) and Cas talks to her, tells her that “for the time, i feel…” later in the show there’s another angel that says Cas’s “true weakness is involved. he’s in love! with humanity" :) also in this ep, the female angel and Dean have sex. clearly if Cas was a woman they would’ve been in a relationship long ago :)
Notable Lyrics:
hey angel, do you look at us and laugh when we hold onto the past? hey angel, tell me, do you ever try to come to the other side?
i wish i could be more like you. do you wish you could be more like me?
i see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head
BETTER THAN WORDS // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"
in this ep, Dean is kept in a beautiful white room (which they call the green room #theatrekidvibes), and everyone understands the tension between Dean and Cas to be needlessly horny :) Cas defies heaven's orders to help Dean :)
Notable Lyrics:
more than a feeling, crazy in love. every time we touch, i’m all shook up. best i ever had, hips don’t lie, you make me wanna—
how deep is your love? god only knows
i don’t know how else to sum it up, there’s no way i can explain your love
everyone tries to see what it feels like, but they’ll never be right
YOU & I // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"
Castiel literally invented free will. the prophet Chuck couldn’t predict Castiel’s actions :) he said “you guys aren’t in this story!” and Cas replied “we’re making it up as we go” :)
Notable Lyrics:
we can make it ’til the end, nothing can come between you and i. not even the gods above can separate the two of us, nothing can come between you and i. we could make it if we try
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"
in this ep, Castiel thinks he is going to die the next day so Dean takes him out for a fun night :) and Dean says it’s the first time he’s laughed that hard in a long time :)
Notable Lyrics:
you know i’ve always got your back, so let me be the one you come running to. just call my name, i’ll be coming through. on the other side of the world, it don’t matter, i’ll be there in two
there’s something about your laugh that makes me want to have to. there’s nothing funny so we laugh at nothing.
every minute’s like the last so let’s just take it real slow. forget about the clock that’s ticking
you have always been the only one i wanted
i wanted you to know without you i can’t face it
WHY DON'T WE GO THERE // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"
same ep, but this is placed here because Dean said to Cas, “there are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.” you connect those dots :)
Notable Lyrics:
think about all the places we could go if you five in tonight. just let me set you free
we’ve got all night, and we’re going nowhere. why don’t you stay? why don’t we go there? let’s take a ride out in the cold air, i know the way, why don’t you go there with me?
ONCE IN A LIFETIME // 5x04, "The End"
in this ep, an angel zaps Dean to five years into the future where he meets his future self and future Cas. there was HEAVY subtext that they were together :) at the end of the ep, after he sees his future self die and ultimately destroy the entire world, he is zapped back to present time (where it is safe) and Castiel is there waiting for him at the side of the road in the middle of the night :)
Notable Lyrics:
once in a lifetime, you were mine
when i close my eyes, all the stars align and you are by my side. once in a lifetime, it’s just right. we are always safe, not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all away
DRAG ME DOWN // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"
this fits anywhere between 4x01 and this ep, which is when. when Dean finds out that Cas had betrayed him and was working alongside the king of hell behind his back :) so as long as this is placed before That Scene, it's fine :)
Notable Lyrics:
i’ve got a fire for a heart, i’m not scared of the dark, you’ve never seen it look so easy. i’ve got a river for a soul, and baby, you’re a boat. baby you’re my only reason
if i didn’t have you, there would be nothing left. the shell of a man that could never be his best. if i didn’t have you, i’d never see the sun
you taught me how to be someone
all my life you stood by me, when no one else was ever behind me. with your love, nobody can drag me down
WOLVES // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"
the war with angels is oncoming, so Cas is trying (trying) to do lots of damage control with that, which means killing angels and demons alike that are after the Winchesters. there's a great scene here :) idk it fits here somehow my brain is too big to be confined by the English language
Notable Lyrics:
in the middle of the night when the wolves come out, they head straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark. one by one, i take them down
i keep on holding tight now, ‘cause your body’s telling me don’t let go
just getting my demons out, wouldn’t ever doubt. your beauty could start a war as you walk in the dining room
i wish it wasn’t true, but the whole world’s trying to get a piece of you, and my heart keeps fighting in this battle of fools
INFINITY // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"
since Cas is trying to prevent the war, much like Aziraphale, he is deemed a failed and fallen angel! :) but then Dean finds out Cas has been working with the king of hell behind his back! :) Cas says "It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" and Dean replies "I was there. Where were you?" :)
Notable Lyrics:
down to earth, keep on falling when i know it hurts
now i’m one step closer to being two steps from you, when everybody wants you
i was there for you. all i ever wanted was the truth. how many nights have you wished someone would stay?
FOOL'S GOLD // 7x02, "Hello, Cruel World"
i see this as Cas POV as he decides to sacrifice himself and let the Leviathans destroy him, before he leaves Dean ahahaha! i see it in this point in time because Cas loves Dean but assumes Dean doesn't feel the same, but! as we see, Dean keeps Cas's coat (because he loves him)
Notable Lyrics:
i know in my heart, you’re not a constant star. i let you use me from the day that we first met, but I’m not done yet, falling for you. i knew that you turned it on for everyone you’ve met, but i don’t regret falling for you
i know your love’s not real, but that’s not the way it feels. that’s not the way you feel
HALF A HEART // 7x02-7x21
literally every time Cas dies, Dean becomes inconsolable and loses all will to live and succumbs to raging alcoholism :) in season 7, when Cas dies, Dean keeps his jacket. for months. :) also applies to 13x01-13x05
Notable Lyrics:
so your friends [have] been telling me, you’ve been sleeping with my sweater, and that you can’t stop missing me. bet my friends [have] been telling you, i’m not doing much better
i’m missing half of me, and being here without you is like i’m waking up to only half a blue sky. kind of there, but not quite. i’m walking 'round with just one shoe. i’m half a heart without you. i’m half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest. i miss everything we do. i’m half a heart without you
forget all we said that night, it doesn’t even matter
though i try to get you out of my head, the truth is i got lost without you
GIRL ALMIGHTY // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"
very closely tied to the imagery of the episode rather than the story. the bright light as Cas overpowers his brainwashing, Dean kneeling in front of Cas. not to self-promo but watch my Religion AMV to see what i mean!! it's visceral stuff :)
Notable Lyrics:
her light is as loud as many ambulances as it takes to save a savior
am i the only believer? there’s something happening here. i hope you feel what i’m feeling too
i get down on my knees for you
STRONG // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"
Castiel has been brainwashed into betraying Dean again, to the point where he was forced to participate in hundreds of simulations where he has to kill Dean :) so when the time comes where he’s told to kill Dean, he suddenly can’t do it :) know why? because Dean tells him “Cas, it’s me. We need you. I need you.” :)
Notable Lyrics:
my hands, your hands, tied up like two ships. my heart, your heart, sit tight like bookends. pages between us written with no end. so many words we’re not saying. don’t wanna wait til it’s gone
i’m sorry if i say ‘i need you’
when i’m not with you, i’m weaker. is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?
WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO // 9x03, "I'm No Angel"
Cas loses his grace so now he is human. for some reason i don’t remember, Dean tells him he can’t stay at his place anymore. now Cas is homeless! :) and so Dean regrets it and goes to look for him :) also side note but there is some fan headcanons or theories that Cas had to resort to sex work to make money :/
Notable Lyrics:
counted all my mistakes and there’s only one standing out from the list of the things i’ve done. all the rest of my crimes don’t come close to the look on your face when i let you go.
the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue is at the top of the list of the things i want
love was something you’ve never heard enough
now i’m searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name, trying to find you, but i just don’t know. where do broken hearts go?
are you sleeping by yourself? or are you giving it to someone else?
tell me where you go when you feel afraid. tell me, will you ever love me again?
I WANT TO WRITE YOU A SONG // 11x03, "The Bad Seed"
no thoughts only the scene of Dean wrapping a blanket around Cas :)
Notable Lyrics:
i want to write you a song, one that’s beautiful as you are sweet, with just a hint of pain for the feeling that i get when you are gone
i want to lend you my coat, one that’s as soft as your cheek, so when the world is cold, you’ll have a hiding place you can go
everything i need i get from you, giving back is all i wanna do
MOMENTS // 11x23, "Alpha and Omega"
this song is like...every time Dean or Cas is about to sacrifice himself/DIE and they get emotional about it. this is an Exemplary episode that fits well with this song because a) they had time to make this plan, which means they would have time to say goodbyes and be ~intimate~ abt it, and b) the hug towards the end when Cas casually says "I could go with you," offering to DIE alongside Dean :)
Notable Lyrics:
shut the door, turn the light off. i wanna be with you, i wanna feel your love. i wanna lay beside you. i cannot hide this, even though i try.
trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder. and the tears stream down my face
if we could only have this life for one more day. if we could only turn back time
i’ll be your life, your voice, your reason to be. my love/my heart is breathing for this moment in time. i’ll find the words to say before you leave me today.
don’t wanna be without you
there’s a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed as i feel myself fall, make a joke of it all
NO CONTROL // 12x23, "All Along the Watchtower"
this could honestly go anywhere, but i’m placing it in here in the chronology because it’s Cas charging blindly and headfirst into battle with literal Lucifer to protect Dean :) good moment contextually because before Cas ran away to help this woman give birth, he had a pretty cozy domestic life with Dean :) it's important to note that this does get him killed, which does lead to another grieving wife phase for Dean :)
Notable Lyrics:
beside you i’m a loaded gun. i can’t contain this anymore. i’m all yours, i’ve got no control. powerless, and i don’t care it’s obvious. i just can’t get enough of you. the pedal’s down, my eyes are closed
i don’t want to wash away the night before, and the heat where you laid, i could stay right here and burn in it all day
THROUGH THE DARK // 14x14, "Ouroboros"
this is not about the gay gorgon, folks, it's about the Ma'lak Box. Dean is crushed by the responsibility of having to lock himself in a LITERAL box to prevent Michael (the archangel inside his mind) from taking over
Notable Lyrics:
you tell me that you’re hurt and you’re in pain, and i can see your head is held in shame, but i just wanna see you smile again
i’ll be here for you. i will carry you over fire and water for your love. i will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough
i wish that i could take you to the stars. i’d never let you fall and break your heart
you tell me that you hurt, it’s all in vain, but i can see your heart can love again, and i remember you laughing so let’s just laugh again
CHANGE MY MIND // 15x03, "The Rupture"
Dean is being a pissy lil bitch because their child died and Castiel can’t deal with it so he leaves :) there’s a lot of stress in their relationship because they both have horrible communication issues. it boils down to Dean thinking like “i want people to just want to stay instead of leaving. i shouldn’t have to ask for that.” and Cas thinking like “i want people to tell me they want me around. i need that verbalized reassurance.” this is canon :)
Notable Lyrics:
the end of the night, we should say goodbye, but we carry on while everyone’s gone
never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more? as i’m walking towards the door, i’m not sure
if you say you want me to say, i’ll change my mind. ‘cause i don’t wanna know i’m walking away if you’ll be mine. i won’t go
IF I COULD FLY // 15x09, "The Trap"
Dean and Cas have to go to Purgatory to retrieve an Ingredient~ they get separated and the portal is about to close and Dean gets desperate so he gets on his knees and prays to Cas :) closure of 15x03 breakup scene, because Dean says “I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.” :) Dean cries more than one tear, one of his most vulnerable moments in the show (rivaled only by the scene where he tells his mom he hates her). this scene is viewed by many, including jackles, as Dean's love confession especially because he evidently wanted to say something more to Cas's face but Cas cut him off :)
Notable Lyrics:
if i could fly, i’d be coming right back home to you. i think i might give up everything, just ask me to
i hope that you listen, cause i let my guard down. right now i’m completely defenseless
for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart. i’m missing half of me when we’re apart. now you know me
WALKING IN THE WIND // 15x18, "Despair" and 15x19, "Inherit the Earth"
“Despair” is the episode where Castiel confesses his love too Dean. Dean says “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” and Cas replies “Because it is.” :) reminiscent of the way their son Jack (who is a mirror to Cas) tells Sam and Dean “I'll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows, and in the sand, in the rocks, and the sea.” :)
Notable Lyrics:
if you’re lost, just look for me. you’ll find me in the region of the summer stars
the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won
goodbyes are bittersweet, but it’s not the end. i’ll see your face again and you will find me
yesterday i went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend, but as we raised our glasses to make a toast I realized you were missing.
SOMETHING GREAT // 15x18, "Despair"-15x20, "Carry On"
Cas pov for 18 and Dean pov for 20 :) Cas saying "the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." :) and then Dean missing and wanting Cas back after he died, saying to God, "Cas. You gotta bring him back," yet again falling back into bad alcoholism and depression and suicidal ideation :)
Notable Lyrics:
i want you here with me like how i pictured it, so i don’t have to keep imagining
the script was written…i want to rip it all to shreds and start again. one day i’ll come into your world and get it right
you’re all i want, so much it’s hurting
TRULY MADLY DEEPLY // Post-Canon mwah!
This is what it would have been like for Dean in the version of Supernatural that totally definitely does exist, in which Jack brought Cas back to life and Dean and Cas were reunited and Dean tells Cas he loves him too and then they live a domestic and safe life and Dean is still shocked every morning that he wakes up next to the love of his life :)
Notable Lyrics:
i can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me
like all those days and weeks and months i tried to steal a kiss, and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where i pictured this
somehow you kicked all my walls in, so say you’ll always keep me
should i put coffee and granola on a tray in bed, and wake you up with all the words that i still haven’t said? and tender touches just to show yo how i feel, or should i act so cool like it was no big deal?
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sambergscott · 4 years
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i'll promise that i'll love you for the rest of my life
one giving the other flowers, as requested by @rosalitadiazz AGES ago, also dedicated to @397bartonstreet for the initial idea of amy sleeping in/just being the best and @nine-niall for helping with the marriage highlight reel.... and for making me listen to heartbreak weather on repeat for the last few days and coming up with this title
happy anniversary to jake and amy!!! (also since the ep aired 2 years ago today i'm not *technically* late thank u very much)
One million, fifty one thousand and two hundred minutes after marrying Amy Santiago (or, two years), every moment is as wonderful as day one. He still feels the same rush of excitement when he sees her waiting by their car at the end of a shift, the same swell of pride when she introduces him to someone as her husband, the same “oh my god we’re actually married” moment when he catches her rings glinting in the sunlight. It’s been the best one million, fifty one thousand and two hundred minutes of his life. And while he appreciates every single second they have together, knowing how in their line of work things can change all too easy, their second anniversary presents the perfect opportunity to remind her that everyday he gets to be with someone as amazing as her is crazy to him.
He has flowers, a handmade card, he even hoovered and she’s still asleep.
She never sleeps this late.
Everyone knows she’s the morning person in their relationship and he’s the Get Out Of Bed After Snoozing The Alarm Seventeen Times person. They live together, share a car, and yet most mornings he ends up riding the Subway, squashed between an old woman and a nerdy looking guy who smells like he hasn’t showered in a week, Amy rolling her eyes when he gets to work mid-briefing. The rare days she can get him out of bed early usually involve some kind of bribery using food and/or sex.
The point is, he’s supposed to be the one sleeping in past 11 AM, but ever since their doctor prescribed Clomid to help stimulate ovulation and boost their chances of making a baby, their roles have been totally reversed like Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday.
Pregnant Amy falls asleep anywhere and everywhere. The couch, the car, the cleaning cupboard at work when she was trying to find some Nuclear-strength cleaner to remove the stench of Charles’ lunch from the air before she hurled again.
She could sleep all day if he let her and he quite easily could. She looks so peaceful and cute and free from the stresses of her family asking why they waited so long (well, long for Santiago standards) to start a family. Plus, the messy hair and tiny bit of drool on her chin are impossibly endearing in the way only she can be.
He smiles and wraps his arms around her, resting his head on his shoulder, his hands - like his thoughts - drifting to her growing bump as they inevitably always do.
This time next year they’ll be celebrating with their little boy or girl, telling them all about the insane, magical day that was May 15th 2018. Of course, it might be some time before they can fully grasp the TV-worthy drama of the creepy phone call, the bomb in the vent, the ex-boyfriend proposing - twice! - and the wall of Amy photos, but they will sure as dammit know how beautiful their mom looked in her dress and how happy their dad was when Grandpa Holt finally announced them as husband and wife.
“Can’t breathe,” his wife squeaks, finally awake. “Arms too tight.”
“Oops. Sorry, babe.” He kisses her by way of apology; sometimes when he gets to thinking about that day, about seeing her walk down the shredded paper aisle under the glow of fairy lights, surrounded by the very people who watched them fall in love, he kind of forgets where he is and what he’s doing.
She’s always had that intoxicating effect on him. That’s never gonna change.
“Time is it?” She yawns, stretching her arms above her head.
“Twenty five to,” he pauses to brace himself for her reaction, “...twelve.”
“Twelve?” Horrified, she moves to get out of bed and yeah, he knows her so well. “Let me go,” she huffs in frustration when he forms a barrier to keep her from leaving.
“No can do, Santiago,” he says authoritatively. “You’ve been working yourself to the bone and you’re pregnant. You need to rest. We’ve both got the day off, our dinner reservations aren’t until 8. Just let your husband take care of you for a couple of hours.”
She chews on her lower lip, making her contemplative face that he recognises from sitting opposite her for so many years, preferring watching her piece together the leads in a case rather than work on his own. “Fine,” she eventually concedes. “Happy anniversary, by the way.”
“Happy anniversary,” he returns the sentiment, kissing her again because, well, he can, one of the perks of marrying Amy Santiago (alongside a perfectly organised sock drawer and getting to hang out with the best person in the world 24 sevs). “I got you these,” he adds, procuring the daffodil bouquet he found online.
“Jake,” she sighs dreamily, placing the flowers on her nightstand. “They’re beautiful. And my favourites.”
“I know,” he smirks. He may not be Santiago level smart, but he’s smart when it comes to all things Santiago. “Also made you this.” He hands over the card.
She opens it, instantly tearing up at his sweet message inside, the dam bursting when she notices the scrawled message written with his wrong hand from their unborn baby. “Mine sucks in comparison,” she laments, passing him his card before locking her eyes back on the words ‘happy anniversary to the world’s best mama’.
“It does not suck,” he reassures her, clutching it to his chest. “I’m going to savour it for all times. I want to be buried with it.”
She rolls her eyes, drying her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I thought you wanted to be buried with your original copy of Die Hard.”
“OK, Die Hard and your card. Rhymes for a reason, Ames.”
“You’re such a dork,” she responds, stifling her laughter. “Can’t believe I’ve been married to you for two full years.”
“I know.” He grins. “What was your favourite part?”
Her eyes glimmer with excitement and love and memories of their first anniversary before things turned upside down. “Are you suggesting we do a marriage highlight reel à la NBA inside stuff?”
“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. I’ll go first. NUMBER FIVE,” he yells in his spot on Ahmad Rashad impression, earning a giggle from his wife. “Number five is that dress you wore on my birthday. Your butt looked the bomb in it.”
“Thanks, babe.” Two years in, she’s used to the constant “your butt is the bomb” comments, often uttered at the most inappropriate of times like when she stands up to brief the squad or play soccer with her brothers, much to her chagrin and their delight.
“Number four,” she quickly moves on. “The time you taught me to play Mario Party and I beat Wario on the first try.”
“That was my worst moment,” he groans.
“And that’s why it’s my best.”
He sighs, considers debating it, engaging in the classic back-and-forth that is the very foundation of their relationship, but it’s moot. She was way better than him. Santiago’s learn fast. It’s in their genes or something. And despite the crushing disappointment when she beat Wario with ease and dork danced her way to the kitchen to grab them both an orange soda, it was still a very fun night and a worthy moment in the highlight reel.
“Number Three. The York murder.”
Immediate understanding spreads across Amy’s face, but he explains anyway.
“I spent three days working that case and you just came in, saw the board and solved it right away.”
“I’m very smart,” she jokes lightheartedly.
“You are,” he agrees, his voice coming out softer and sincerer than even he imagined. “I love that about you. I love your brain. I love how good you are at your job, at figuring out puzzles. I love that you listen to NPR and know so much about the font Helvetica and have read, like, a million books. I love that you do a crossword every night and I love how proud you look when you give me a sports clue and I actually get it right. I love cheering you on at Trivia Nights even when Kylie can’t stop glaring at me. How lucky am I to have the smartest wife in the world?”
Touched, she can barely compile her thoughts to reveal her Number Two.
“The night at Shaw’s, at Hitchcock’s second divorce party, your speech, the way you kissed me, the way you were so gentle when we got home,” she sniffles. “It was special and made me feel so loved and if I say anymore I’m going to cry again, so you go.”
He chuckles knowingly. The pregnancy hormones have been making her extra emotional lately, they can’t even watch commercials anymore without her fully weeping. And while last year Pam and her twisted bowels interrupted before they could get to Number One, this year Number One is obvious. Clear as day. And there’s no one to interrupt.
He pretends to think about it for a minute (because he will always love teasing her, married or not). Only when she grabs his arm and digs her nails into his skin does he put both their hands on her bump and smiles. “Obviously this little guy or gal is Number One.”
She smiles back at him, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
His own face falls. “Ames?”
“It’s been a hard year, hasn’t it?” She sighs, thinking back to calendars and fertility appointments and the strict no nacho policy.
“Yeah,” he says, “it has. But this next year is gonna be the best one yet.”
“I mean... We’re probably not going to sleep a lot.”
“You might not sleep a lot but I sure will,” he teases, his words falling flat. “Just kidding, babe. Obviously I’m going to get up for all the feeds and diaper changes and whatever else this kid throws at us. Gonna be there for you both. No matter what.”
The pregnancy hormones strike again and she starts crying and, honestly, he can’t wait for this baby to get out, for more reasons than one.
“BRB, I’ll go make your favourite breakfast to make you feel better, don’t grow anymore body parts while I’m gone.”
He returns seven minutes later with pancakes, a ton of fruit, decaf coffee and another kiss. He climbs back into bed, devours his own Nutella pancakes and posts his favourite blurry, drunk on Champagne and love selfie from their makeshift wedding reception at Shaw’s, on Insta with a caption about how he promises he’s gonna love her for the rest of his life.
And he keeps that promise.
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hippychick006 · 4 years
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15.11: The Gamblers - Episode Review/Recap
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This ep follows directly on from last week.   The episode was very mixed, there were 2 distinct storylines that merged at the end.  I had a few issues with the Castiel/Jack side of the story, which I’ll cover later, but the Sam and Dean scenes, for the most part, I was able to enjoy.  I even caught myself smiling… fucking smiling at several moments, because this?  This was a glimpse of what my show once was.  This also explains to the “Just stop watching” brigade why I’m still watching.  The brother scenes were a nugget of gold amongst the dross and worth watching for.
Thank you, Davey Perez, Meredith Glynn and Director Charles Beeson for reminding me, albeit briefly, why I fell in love with this show, and at the same time, why I dislike much of Dabb’s run, which in my humble opinion hasn’t just veered the ship slightly off course; it crashed into an iceberg in 11.21 and has been slowly sinking since then.  I think last week’s episode brought us to the point where half the ship is now vertical, ready to plunge into the depths of the icy ocean...  
...Anyway, enough about sinking ships, the key thing I struggled with going into this episode is the obvious fuck up from the previous week; the entire premise of the Winchester’s losing their “luck” and being reduced to “normal” people, and I want to talk rant about that for a few more minutes before we get onto this episode.  If you want to skip that, I’ll put start and end of rant, so you can skip forward.
Start of rant
In order to enjoy this episode, you pretty much have to ignore much of the previous episode and… that doesn’t sit well with me.  Last week wasn’t just a single scene you can forget ever existed (e.g. the trench-coat scene or Dean’s apology to Cass).  What Dabb did fucked with the entire concept of the show; that the Winchesters are ordinary people who do extraordinary things.  So, it’s really difficult to shake that epic fuck up off and just move on.
I just can’t ever buy in to the concept that the Winchesters were “favoured” or have more luck than “normal” people.   I mean look at Sam’s life for starters; he didn’t know his mom, he was fed demon blood as a baby, was dragged up in a life he hated, constantly moving, being brought up in crappy motels and forced to train to become a hunter.  The love of his life is murdered, and he becomes an orphan at 22.  He died at 23 (for the first time) and then he loses the last remaining member of his family at 24.  The Winchesters are far from “lucky” and if I could be bothered, I’d go looking for mentions of “with the Winchester luck” that have been peppered throughout the series.  Chuck has not “favoured” the Winchesters at all and they haven’t had Charmed lives because of Chuck’s interference.
I also can’t buy into the concept that the Winchesters are anything other than “normal” in the first place.  Sadly, they showed last weeks “fight” scenes during the recap and it did nothing, other than enrage me again.  Sam and Dean are excellent fighters and hunters because they trained from a young age to be as good as they are.  They weren’t “given” anything and certainty not a free ride and fuck Dabb once again for writing that bullshit.  It was nothing less than petty because we rejected his instant Hunter!Barbie fiasco that wasted too much of season 13.
So, how do I move forward from that and manage to enjoy this episode?  The answer in my opinion, is you can’t, because even with a few good brother moments, the entire premise of this week’s episode fails to make sense, because the previous episode fails to make sense.  I’ll cover why that is when we get to the pool game.
End Rant
The episode opens on a recap, and I ask myself why they are using all the bad bits from the previous few episodes, before I remember there weren’t many good bits to select from.  That clip of Jensen with the teeth is still funny. 😂
I love the intro again this week.  The setting was good, the guest actors, the camerawork, the music choice – North to Alaska - which complimented the scene, rather than felt like nails being dragged down a chalkboard.  All classic spn so far, so it has my attention.  
Two men (Joey and Leonard) are playing a game of pool and you can tell this is a high stakes game from the get go.  What the stakes are, we don’t yet know, but when the game ends, we see 2 coins being held in a contraption above the pool table; one glows green then dulls with the coin head disappearing, the other glows green and gets brighter with the coin head gaining in definition.  I don’t think this looks good for the loser.  He agrees and tries to attack the winner with his pool cue.  He’s stopped from doing so by a bouncer who turfs him outside.  👋 cutie tall bouncer.  There’s an absolutely great shot of the loser tossing his coin in the air and the music gets loud again (Hey, I’m here as much for the settings, lighting, music and camerawork as I’m here for the Winchesters – sue me) and then…. Splat.  He’s hit by a truck.  Poor Leonard, red shirt of the episode.  RIP my friend.
As an aside, I like how you guys announce which pocket the 8 ball is going into, we don’t do that.
This was a great into, interesting premise that immediately sucked me in, wanting to find out more.  This is my show.  Great job so far.
The next scene though shows once again how useless, at least for me, the writing is around Castiel.  They wrote an entire scene with him walking into the bunker, seeing a note that has been left, going down to read it “Cass, we’ve gone to Alaska, Sam”.  I’m not going to rant about the twats that insist on saying Sam has spelt it wrong, I’ve already done a post about the arrogance of fans trying to tell the show that created the character that they are wrong with the spelling of that character, so I’ll save you by moving on.
This entire scene, while I liked the shots of the otherwise empty bunker, was just wasting time for me.  I’ve seen people say Sam left a note because Castiel was in heaven and wouldn’t get a text message and how clever of Sam to resort to paper.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I dip in and out of WiFi zones all the time and the moment I dip back in, my phone pings with multiple notifications, so I personally thought this scene was dumb.  It would have been better to see Castiel appear back at the sandpit and get a text notification from Sam with the same message.    
Even better, you could take this scene away and it changes nothing that happens so why include it?  *Whispers* J2 wanted time off and the writers are incompetent of filling that space with something more interesting so use “filler”.  
Interestingly, my computer froze on Castiel’s face for 5 minutes so fuck you Norton or Windows 10 Update for your bad timing in running something in the “background”
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BROMENT ALERT
We’re finally with what I’m watching the show for.  Dean and Sam are in baby and driving towards Alaska.  Sam’s phone is lighting up with messages and we find out through Dean that it’s Eileen. 🙄. Oh, Eileen’s being shoved into the narrative now?  Sorry Eileen, the third wheel position on the show has already been filled since Season 7. And fuck you again Dabb because I loved Eileen as a friend of Sam and it’s just yet another thing your reverse Midas fingers have screwed over this season.
Dean: Silent mode is always an option
Me: I love you, have my babies… wait, that came out wrong
Eileen thinks the plan is a little too good to be true.  Sam thinks she might be right.  He’s not convinced the place even exists or that it can fix their problem. Dean thinks it couldn’t hurt and he’s done with normal, including the constant heartburn.
Sam: You know if you changed your diet….  Dean’s frown 😂
Sam insists that no one other than Garth has heard of it and it isn’t in the lore. Dean believes it’s got to be there. He believes Chuck isn’t messing with them,
Dean: He [Chuck] wants us off our game, he wants us weak, ‘cos he’s coming for us Sammy, and when he does, and we haven’t figured this out, we’re DOA.
Mostly a great brother scene, apart from the forced insertion of Eileen – are we incapable of getting a broment in the final chuck damn season, without the completely unnecessary forced inclusion of a third party???!  The scene ends with a great shot of baby.
Back at the bunker and Castiel hears a phone ringing, and… I’m trying not to nitpick, but the way this case comes about just annoys me. There are better ways of bringing this about, than how they did it. But moving on, Castiel answers a random phone that was ringing in Sam’s room, and it’s a sheriff (Jeb Evans) looking for FBI agent, Watts. Castiel tells the sheriff that Agent Watts is working a case in Alaska, and that he is Agent… Lizzo.  I can only assume Dean gave him that alias as I don’t think Castiel would know any musicians on his own.  I like Jeb, who tells Agent Lizzo, they have a homicide and the suspect is someone Agent Watts flagged into the system… and guys… Sam is back to hacking into police systems and I just… I need a moment here as they’ve remembered Sam can hack into systems!
The agent tells Castiel that the suspect is Jack Kline.  
Ummm… Castiel, are you... okay?  Do you… do you maybe need to use the bathroom?  Oh, you’re emoting?  Okay dokay then.  I can’t with this.  I got more out of Leo in the less than 2 minutes he was on screen than I got out of Castiel since his return in season 7.  
Back with the impala, which rolls into a diner stop.  Sam is asleep, and Dean whacks him to wake him up.  Sam wonders why they’ve stopped at “Round up café”.    Dean says it’s the last stop for food for a few hundred miles.
Sam (frowns): Grab something out of the cooler
Dean: Yeah, no, I polished off the last of the sandwiches while you were out
Sam (annoyed): We’re on a budget!
Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Last weeks puppy dog eyes fiasco aside, Dean’s still wrapped round Sam’s fingers, they enter the diner, slap some coins on the counter and ask what they can get for $4.60.  Apparently, it’s a slice of pie and a coffee, and I’m moving to Alaska when they secede from the US because that would barely get you just the coffee here.
Dean asks for two forks for the pie
Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Long story short on this scene, they get out of the waitress there’s a local urban legend about a magic poolhall in the middle of nowhere, that if you win, you come back lucky.  She says though that no one ever comes back.  Turns out she knew Leonard from the intro, and he went up there because the bank was going to take his house and he met with an accident.
Sam says at least they know now what the downside is.  Dean doesn’t agree, he thinks it could be great, pool is the game of champions, kings, his game, our game, and they have great memories of hustling pool
Sam: yes, because we had to… to eat!
Still not seeing the “luck” Dabb wrote about.  Imagine thinking they were remotely lucky; running scams or hustling pool to put a roof over their head or food in their stomach. And this is where I disconnect with this week’s episode, because of last week’s writing. How are they going to even be good at pool, a game that takes practice and skill?  The things taken away seem to be random and plot devices; lock picking, fighting, hot metal burns, while it appears Dean can still drive okay, fix baby and I’m guessing their pool is going to be okay too, otherwise what’s the point of this episode?  There’s no believable rules to this “bad luck/normal” and I’m left completely drifting and because of it.  It's just badly thought out and executed.
Dean: if pool is the way we get our mojo back then maybe we ain’t as screwed as we thought
Waitress: Hey, you guys drive an impala?... I think you guys have a flat.
😂
Back with Cass and sheriff Jeb, Cass has managed to set up the laptop and access a video the sheriff has sent him.  The video is of Jack killing a doctor and eating his heart. 😷 Jack, no!  I’ll come back to the heart eating later.
Back with the boys, another shot of baby as they pull into “Lurlenes”.  Baby isn’t sounding too good and I think I missed that earlier, but it did somewhat register that she was sounding louder than normal. Good touch.
Dean walks over one of the coins as they head for the entrance which I guess might be Leonard’s from earlier.  I like little details like this.  Once inside, Sam points out they don’t have beer money, much less what it costs to buy into a game.  Dean says they’ll figure something out and goes to the bar and orders two waters. I’m guessing that’s going to hit Dean more than health conscious Sam.  Dean asks the bar person, Evie, how they get into a game.  She calls Pax over and it’s the tall, cutie bouncer from earlier.  Sam asks Evie if she saw Leonard and she says no, but you can tell she’s lying.
Pax takes them to his office and explains the rules of the game, that they don’t bet with money, they bet with luck.  He gets Dean to touch a coin he puts down and it turns green.  Pax looks at the coin and says “not great”
Dean: And that means?
Pax explains that everyone walks in with a certain amount of luck, that the green glow was Dean’s and it was “about average.”  Dean thinks that sounds about right.  I’m going to head-canon that Dean’s luck is about average of the people that find the pool hall, but below average in general, due to Chuck screwing around with them.
Pax says if Dean wins a game, he might see his fortunes improve.
Sam: And if he loses?
 Pax says he can keep playing, but if the coin goes blank, that means you’re out of luck, and you’ve got to leave.  He asks if they’ve got any questions.
Sam (a bit pissy): What is this place? Who owns it?
Pax says he doesn’t know, but if they don’t like it, they are free to leave.
Dean: When I win, can I split it (indicates Sam)… the luck?
Pax (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍 Oh, wait, sorry, that was me
Pax: it’s yours, you can do what you want
Sam asks for a second to talk to his husband brother.
Sam: no, no, no, no, no way (complete with shaking finger)
Dean: man, I’ve been slinging pool cues since before you were born
Snarky!Sam: when you were four, really? In between snack time and nap? 😂
Dean (internally): damn, I forgot you were my brother for a second and I can’t bullshit you
Dean tells Sam that they need to do this, and that Sam is pretty much better than him, at everything, he’s not mad about it, he’s proud… but he can wipe the floor with Sam at pool.  Dean takes Sam’s epic eyeroll as silent permission he can play.
Back with Castiel, he investigates the doctor’s office and finds a weird case which has a sword inside.  We flashback to a previous episode with Sam tied to a chair (🙄 it must have been a Thursday).  Anyway, the flashback tells us the doctor was one of the Grigori, a brotherhood of perfect beings.  I’d forgotten about them and might have to look them up before I touch the heart eating thing. Note: I did look them up and it was a Claire episode, so never mind, that’s why I forgot about them.
We transition from Cas to Jack and he seems to be following someone with the same case as the doctor, so another Grigori.  He follows the Grigori into an abandoned building.
Back at the pool hall and no one is biting to play with the noob.  Okay, I’m ashamed to say I laughed at this next bit, Dean deliberately breaks badly and loudly proclaims that he’s rusty at this.  Oh Dean.  No one’s going to fall for… Surprisingly he actually gets a taker and asks Dean to rack up.  Sam goes back to the bar to speak to Evie.  She asks if he plays and he says not really.  Sam asks Evie what the woman’s deal is that’s playing Dean (Moira).  Evie says she’s been here a while and her sister is in a coma.
Sam goes into awkward question mode, and I have flashbacks to the earlier seasons. He asks about rotten eggs.  Evie responds: Just Charlie…   We pan over to Charlie and he’s playing pool badly. Sam then asks if she’s seen “little bundles” laying around.  She says no, but she gets that he’s trying to figure the place out.  Sam says places like this don’t exist for no reason, she answers that most people think it’s a godsend.  She gives him information on a couple of people playing, they won at first, could have walked away winners, but kept playing until their luck ran sour. She repeats they should have walked away which is a clear warning for Sam who looks over at his brother who wins the game.
Back with Jack, he’s got an angel blade and is still after the Grigori. Unfortunately, the Grigori twigged he was being followed and now has Jack at blade point.
Back at the pool hall and Sam is trying to convince Dean they need to leave, and I’m trying not to be distracted by the picture in the scene behind them.
 Dean (brandishing his coin at Sam): Come on man, I’m on a roll
Snarky!Sam: Dean, you won one game!
Sam thinks the place sucks you in and that if Dean keeps playing, he’ll lose and end up like Leonard.  Dean convinces Sam who reluctantly allows him to have one more game.
Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Dean finds his mark, which is Joey from the intro.  We see Dean playing well and Joey asks what his name was again.
Dean: my name is Dean Winchester and I am going to kick your ass.
Sam: 😍 that’s my platonic soulmate husband brother
Joey smiles.  
They talk as Dean clears the table.  Turns out Joey used to work the bull riding circuit.  
Dean (cocky smile): tell me, how was that?… corner pocket.   He misses the shot
Joey (grinning): good times (he pots and all he can do is hide the cue ball behind another ball, giving Dean a very tricky shot on the 8 ball)… and some not so good.
Dean goes to take the shot and Joey challenges double or nothing if Dean misses. Sam doesn’t like it.  Dean asks if Joey is trying to hustle him.
Joey: I thought you were going to kick my ass
Dean smiles and agrees to the deal, does a trick shot with the cue ball jumping over the other ball and potting the 8 ball.
Joey closes his eyes.  Sam looks happy, then Joey says: a hell of a shot.  
Dean watches as the coins glow green and Joey’s coin is now dull, and this is sad because even if Sam and Dean haven’t realised the implication yet, Joey is not long for this world.  Joey leaves, and Sam and Dean follow.  Joey congratulates Dean on the game yet again and says, “I guess you can’t hustle a hustler.” Sam’s concerned when Joey starts coughing.  Turns out Joey is dying, he has cancer, he came to the pool hall to beat it, and Sam and Dean have finally caught up with me that this game sucks.  This is the first time in a long time, I’ve felt anything for a character on this show that we only meet for a limited time in a single episode, so I’m going to kudos the writing and the guest star for this one. This is what happens when you actually put some characterisation into your writing.
Sam and Dean go back inside.  Dean said the plan worked so they should hit the road.
Sam: What about everybody else?
Sam wants to stay and figure out how they can help them. Dean reminds him they are in a fight with God and they just got their mojo back.  Sam challenges whether there’s even enough luck in the coin for them. Dean says they’ll give it a try by him going for a drive and if baby’s okay, they are leaving.  End of.
Back with Castiel and he meets sheriff Jeb at the abandoned building Jack was captured in. A transient spotted Jack going into the building so called the police. Castiel asks Jeb if there are any other abandoned places around. Jeb tells him about a church.
Back with Sam and he’s talking to Charlie, who is apparently playing so his team can win the Super Bowl and part of me is 😂 and part of me is, I feel you my friend, because Canucks and the Stanley Cup, and desperate measures at this stage.  
Sam: that’s great, it is, but is it really worth your life?
Me (picturing the Stanley cup being paraded through the streets of Vancouver): …Yes?!
The puppy dog eyes fail again, Charlie says “just one more game.” And goes back to playing
Evie says at least Sam tried but no one will listen.  She says none of “us” are going anywhere.  Sam asks if they are trapped here, if Evie was trapped here.   She leaves rapidly.
Dean arrives back, baby’s dead again, he didn’t even make it out of the parking lot. Sam takes a look at the coin Dean slams down.  He believes Dean should have won more luck than he did, given how many people Joey likely beat before Dean played him and all that accumulated luck should have gone to Dean when he won, but it doesn’t seem to.  Sam thinks someone is stealing the luck, skimming off the top.  
Dean: You mean like the house?
Sam (lifts coin showing head): her… I think
Dean takes the coin and reads: Atrox Fortvnta
Sam says she’s the Roman goddess of luck.  So, Sam’s allowed to be smart as a plot contrivance this week?  *cough* hot metal burns *cough*.  
They go speak to Evie about who runs the place.  She says she can’t help them. Sam asks why she warned him in the first place.  Evie says so he would take his brother and go.    Dean asks why Evie is there, does the god have something over her. Evie says she played and lost and is only alive because she lets her stay as long as she keeps working.   Sam asks if the god is here, but Evie doesn’t know, she only talks to Pax and drops the revelation that Pax is the god’s son.
Back with Jack and the Grigori has injured him and holding him captive. He knows what Jack is and that he’s powerful.  The Grigori wants to know why Jack killed his kind.  The Grigori have their own frequency of angel radio. Me, 🙄 of course you do because easy plot device.  Before his brother died, he called to the Grigori.  He asks Jack if he did that to draw him out, to kill him too.
Back with Sam and Dean, Sam approaches Pax wanting to ask a question. While Pax is focused on Sam, Dean grabs him and holds him at knifepoint.
Sam (niceness gone): Where’s your mom?
Loved that bit
Pax doesn’t answer so Sam shouts “Fortuna.”  Dean follows with, “We have your son”
 Moira walks through the pool hall and we know she is now Fortuna.
Sam says they know she’s skimming luck and they want it back.  Dean threatens to kill Pax if she doesn’t
Fortuna: well, you probably could, his daddy was human, but no
Pax (shocked pikachu face): Mom!
Fortuna: I’m sorry baby, I can always make more sons
Sam and Dean (shocked pikachu faces).  
Uh oh, leverage gone. Dean releases Pax, but not before the blade cuts his throat a little.
Dean demands Fortuna to play him for it. She says she’s already played him and got a read on him.  He’s just a “beach read”.  Sexy, but skimmable.
Dean (how dare you face): beach read? lady, I’m Tolstoy
Fortuna laughs and says, “That’s very funny” and approaches Sam: this one here, now he could be interesting
Dean (Protective big brother mode activated): Wait, no, no, that’s…. Uh uh
Sam (I’m 36 years old Dean, not a kid anymore mode activated): Fine… Yeah, okay, but not for our luck.  I’ll play for the lives of everybody in here.
Fortuna doesn’t agree, she says the deal is only for their luck and if they lose, she wants their lives.  She wants to make an example of them.
The Grigori is torturing Jack, cutting his skin.  Jack says he can’t kill him.  There’s then expose on the Grigori feeding off souls, and this one feeds off children. I think I’m supposed to not feel sorry for the Grigori when Jack eats his heart, but I do have a few issues which I’ll come onto later.  Jack looks to the side and it’s clear he catches something.  The Grigori reaches for his sword and points it at Jack’s throat. He asks who told Jack that.  He answers Death.  
The Grigori senses someone behind him.  Now given the Grigori are supposed to be elite and much more powerful than ordinary angels, I’m embarrassed for this one and have no idea how on Earth this Grigori managed to survive to being last of his kind as even Castiel despatched him fairly easily, without too much of a fight, but “new canon” I guess. 🤷‍♀️
With no tests whatsoever, Castiel releases Jack from his bonds.  I’m presuming one of Castiel random powers of the week is being able to automatically tell it’s Jack.  We get a Cass and Jack hug and I … don’t really care to be honest.  I can’t watch Cass without viewing that awful scene in Purgatory so I’m over him.
Back at the pool hall, Sam breaks, potting 2 balls immediately.  I love, love, love this next bit: as Sam lines up his next shot, we see Dean nodding in agreement, because yep, that’s the shot he would have went for too.   Sam proceeds to knock down a couple more, Fortuna has said a couple of things, but Sam is focusing on the game.  She asks why they need the luck so bad, girlfriend problems? Liver failure? (She looks at Dean here).  Sam answers: “a curse by god” and misses the next shot.
Fortuna: Life’s a bitch and then you die
Me: Hey! That’s my philosophy!
Dean: THE god literally cursed us
Fortuna (sarcastic disbelief): You’ve met
Dean: Yeah, Little guy, squirrelly as hell
Fortuna: Yeah, that’s him… well, welcome to the club
Dean: the club?
Fortuna answers with exposition while winning the game. God created the world, but humans created the gods, kind of, which led to God creating the other gods. Dean asks why, which makes her angry and she misses the next shot.  She says they were created to take the blame for anything that went wrong.  That only worked for a while before his ego got the better of him, now he hides behind whatever religion pays the biggest syndication deals.  She keeps talking about how pissed she is and that she’s holding a grudge.  Sam meanwhile is quietly potting balls and winning the game.  She realises this and shakes off her mood, “oh well, what can you do?”
Dean: we’re going to fight him
Fortuna: are you now?  And when you lose?
Sam’s voice from off screen: we lose swinging
He then appears in shot and says “8 ball, corner pocket” and she realises the game is nearly over.
Sam lines up for the shot, looks at Dean briefly, then… he wins.  I wasn’t expecting that, and Dean is happy too.
Fortuna (to Sam):  you little minx, you got me talking!
Sam smirks
Fortuna: you’re good
Sam: I learned from my brother
Dean approaches: all right, you know the deal, even up
Fortuna offers to make it interesting, if they are going to fight God, that’s the stuff of heroes and they are going to need the luck of heroes.  Hercules, some other people, she helped them all.  Sam asks what the catch is. She says another game, double or nothing.  
Dean: Double?  That’s how the cowboy died.
Sam agrees to play, “but not for more luck,” he indicates the room, “for them.  If I win, you have to let them go.”
Fortuna: I’m not stopping them
Sam: Okay, when I win, you have to give back the luck you stole, close up shop
Fortuna: What is with you and these losers?  They’re nothing, they don’t matter
Sam: they matter to me
Dean: they matter to us
Everyone in the poolhall (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Fortuna agrees.  She breaks, and it all goes downhill from there.  Sam doesn’t even get to play a shot.  
They lost. There’s silence
Fortuna: you challenged the goddess of luck in her own joint, what did you think was going to happen?
Me: pretty much this tbh, I’m actually surprised Sam won the first game
Dean: well, we had to try
Fortuna: well, that was stupid
My poor boys.  They leave the poolhall.
Dean: I thought she was going to kill us
Sam: well she doesn’t have to, our luck will do that on its own … Dean, we can’t just…
Dean:… leave ‘em?  Yeah, I know.
Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Dean: all right, well let’s go get WiFi and see what kills Lady Luck, we’ll circle back
Sam’s agreeing when Evie comes out, followed by the other players.  They ask her what happened. She says Fortuna shut it down.  They ask why
 Evie: Because of you, she said she thought your kind had gone extinct
Sam: Our kind?
Evie: Heroes, like the old days
Fortuna also gave her a message to pass on, “Don’t play Chucks game, make him play yours.
She hands Sam a coin which he somewhat reluctantly takes.  He holds it in his closed fist as she walks away.  He opens his hand and we see the coin glow green on his skin.  Dean “grabby hands” Winchester snatches the coin, getting a glare from Sam and the coin glows green in his hand too.
They get into the car and Dean fires up the engine.  “We’re back baby!”  
Aww, Dean called Sam baby.  
Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍
Also me: You can take your “Castiel is a lamp” sub zero text and whack yourself over the head with it.  
They drive away. And I’m left behind wondering if they’ve got their “normal” luck back or the supercharged hero luck that Sam said he didn’t want and that’s why he was reluctant to take the coin.
They arrive back at the bunker.  Dean’s scratching lottery cards and doesn’t win.  So much for the superhero luck.
Sam consoles his husband brother that they might not have won the lottery, but they have no car trouble, the credit cards work again, and Dean was able to eat back to back bacon double cheeseburgers, that didn’t kill him. So…
Dean: that was beautiful by the way… I’m just saying, would it have killed her to give us a little extra?
Sam: well, she thinks we’re really heroes, maybe they don’t get all the answers
Well hopefully that conversation answered my concern from earlier.
Cass appears, looking shifty (when doesn’t he tbh).  They know something is wrong and Sam asks him.  He steps aside and Jack appears. Jack dorky waves hello and we all melt and immediately forget he killed their mom and did some other really naughty stuff that at the very least should get him a time out.  Apparently, Dean and Sam forget too.    This scene is shot with Jack and Cass at one side of the reading room and Sam and Dean on the other.
Sam: Jack?
Castiel (to Sam): it’s really him
Sam walks over to Jack first and gets quicker as he reaches him and we get a Sam and Jack hug, and since I didn’t get one in season 14, I’ll ignore the mom killing, heart eating etc. for a few minutes and enjoy the hell out of this one. Yes, I’m fickle!  But I loved this nougat eating baby before Dabb ruined him.
Dean walks across more slowly, reaches and grasps Jack behind his neck, staring into his face as if checking it’s really him.  I think he’s struggling to see past the burnt-out eyes which was their last view of him.  He looks briefly at Cass once.  To me it’s a silent thank you (headcanon for bringing Jack back for Sam in particular), and an equally silent, you’re welcome.  Jack looks a little apprehensive as obviously the last time he was alive, Dean was going to shoot him, stopped only by Sam.
They all have a beer at the map table, Sam asks Jack about eating hearts, so it’s good that hasn’t been hidden.  Jack said he had to.
Dean (to Castiel): and you let him?
Castiel nods (likely waiting for the anger for doing the wrong thing)
Dean (shrugs): hmmm
And… that is not my Dean.  They’ve turned him into a neutered house cat and idiots are calling it “growth”.  And all I can hope is that his natural instincts fight their way through, I believe it’s wrong to trust Jack is okay eating hearts, even of ones that eat children’s souls and I hope we see that develop as we progress.
Sam: you could have called us
Jack: every day I wanted to come home, but I couldn’t
Dean: why not?
Jack: because if I don’t stay hidden, if I use my powers, my grandfather, he’ll know I’m back, and try and kill me… again… he’s afraid of me, and that’s why we had to wait.
Castiel: Billy kept him hidden in the empty, until Chuck went off world
Jack: she let me out when it was safe
Dean: safe to what? Eat a bunch of angel hearts?
Jack: safe to do what I have to.  
Turns out the hearts were just the beginning, they made Jack strong, but not strong enough.  If Jack follows her plan, he’ll get stronger and he’ll be able to kill god.
Sam and Dean (in winsync):  bitch please, this is our show!
Not really, that was just me and we end on that note.  I could wish we had ended on “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, but season 15 music budget.  Sigh.
So, I have a few other issues with this episode, particularly with the Jack side of the storyline, off the top of my head;  
1)      I’m hoping we aren’t sweeping what he did in season 14 under a rug, a la Castiel.  
2)      I’m hoping we aren’t just going to support him eating hearts (even of bad angels) without fully investigating what this supposed plan is.
3)      I’m struggling with the heart thing anyway. I don’t believe an angel has a heart to eat, only the human vessel does so I’m going to need an explanation on why eating human hearts is supposedly goring to make jack stronger, and why we don’t care about the human vessel
4)      I’m struggling with how a lesser god can give back what God took away, even if that lesser god is the goddess of luck, God still trumps her.  
Other than that, I think Death is bad now, or at least Billy’s version of death is. I think they changed course on wanting to kill the Winchesters a couple of seasons ago when they realised they could play a part in them reaping God. Possible reason, just being tired after all this time, and wanting it all to end. And it can’t end before Chuck dies. Possible power play.
I still think Chuck will die.  I still think the Winchesters will become firewalls, not sure what Jack is, other than a toddler whose power needs to be bound until he can wield it responsibly, and Castiel is going to sacrifice himself at some point. And the less we say about Eileen, the better.
Next episode is up after Hellatus the welcome break from the caricature this show has become 
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banshee-cheekbones · 6 years
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I was listening to Ruelle's new EP and all I could think about it was Standrew first kiss while "Emerge Pt. II" plays Could you write something inspired by this song, pleeeease Also I love your work and your blog, thank you so much ❤️
that song is extremely beautiful! after consulting with @missyousofaar, we both discovered that the song reminded us of romcoms and kissing in the rain and so, this piece of fluff happened. 
2.3k, on ao3 here.
drift into the deep
It’s been a strange night.
There hasn’t been anything in particular that has made the night stranger than usual, hasn’t been a specific event that Andrew could point to as the source of the tension churning in his stomach like a supercell. It’s just been a night out with Steven, a night like any of the hundred times they’ve hung out after work and grabbed something to eat. It’s not like they even tried a new place; they went to an old favorite, an Italian place that Adam recommended a few months back, followed by Fosters Freeze for dessert. It’s a routine they’ve followed before, one Andrew is so familiar with that he’s surprised that, when he glances down at the sidewalk, he can’t see his footprints there, embedded in the cement.
And yet, while their routine hasn’t differed, something has.
At first, Andrew thinks that maybe the reason he feels off is because of the impending storm, because of the purple thunderclouds piling high above the glimmering ocean. He thinks that it’s the static building in the air that makes every touch between them, every brush of Steven’s fingertips against his own as they share their drinks back and forth, every nudge of his shoulder against Andrew’s as they walk, every bump of their knees as they sit on a concrete ledge outside of Fosters, feel like a flame striking him. Each of those touches linger for long minutes afterwards, like they’re lodged underneath his skin, simmering like a coal glowing red in the bottom of a campfire.
But even after the storm hits in earnest, after the sky splits open and unleashes an utter downpour, Andrew’s skin doesn’t stop burning.
And that’s enough to make his mind turn to other possibilities, possibilities that he sometimes turns over late at night, when he’s too wound up to sleep, possibilities that he spends much of his waking time trying not to think about, because they distract him from work and fill him with a giddy, suffocating kind of hope.
The storm breaks while they’re still six blocks from Steven’s apartment. Neither of them have umbrellas, and even though it takes no longer than thirty seconds for them to find an alcove to shelter in, a recessed entryway of a bookstore that’s closed for the night, that’s enough time for them to get absolutely soaked. Andrew’s jeans are plastered to his legs, and he can feel water squelching in his shoes whenever he moves his feet. Droplets of rain course down the back of his neck and under his collar, and when he shoves his hair away from his forehead, his palms come back slick with more water.
If he was alone, he would probably allow himself a moment of self-pity, a moment to complain about the sudden turn of events, before he settled in to wait out the storm. As is, because Steven is standing opposite him, only a few feet away, smiling as he pushes his own floppy hair away from his face, Andrew doesn’t make it to that stage.
“We really should have brought umbrellas,” Steven says with a laugh, wringing out the sleeve of his jacket. Rivulets of water run down his long fingers and plummet to the ground.
“I’m surprised you didn’t bring a raincoat,” Andrew replies. “Or is your jacket collection too cool for something that practical?”
“I know that’s just jealousy talking, Andrew. If you want me to take you shopping for some cool stuff of your own, you just have to ask.”
Andrew rolls his eyes. “Alright. Sure.”
Steven’s grin grows brighter. After squeezing out his other sleeve, he settles back against the wall and tilts his head to the side, face pointed towards the street. The rain is still coming down in buckets, loudly drumming against the sidewalk and street, interrupted only by a taxi creeping by, water sloshing underneath its wheels. There’s something almost peaceful about the way the world seems to have momentarily paused aside from the rain, something that makes the fact that Andrew is soaked to the bone easier to deal with. If he were alone, he’s sure that, after the self-pity stage, he’d actually be able to really enjoy the scene.
As is, even though they aren’t touching anymore, even though Steven is separated from him by a few feet, Andrew still feels like he’s on fire. That damn feeling of hope, the one he’s tried valiantly to bury for years, is filling every hollow point of his chest, wrapping its spindly fingers around his heart and constricting. Every place that Steven has touched him today, his knees and fingertips and wrists, feel like they’re all burning at once; the rain hasn’t done anything to extinguish the blaze. The silence between them feels like something significant, like the eye of the storm or the moment in a horror film where the music goes silent in preparation for the jump scare. It feels like this moment has been building up not just for the last few hours, but the last few years.
It feels like Andrew needs to do something about it.
He takes a single step, swallows heavily in preparation to say Steven’s name, but before it can slip from his lips, Steven pushes away from the wall and wipes his brick-dust covered palms on the wet black denim clinging to his narrow thighs.
“Looks like it’s starting to ease up,” he says quietly, clearing his throat. Sure enough, he’s right - the downpour has lessened to a drizzle, and based on the sliver of bright blue Andrew can see at the edge of the sky, even that will be over soon.
While he is glad that the storm is over, the hope in his chest deflates like the last balloon at a child’s birthday party. He’s never been much of a believer in fate, in destiny or preordained choices, but suddenly, it feels like he missed an opportunity, one that he might not have again for years, if ever.
“Yeah,” he answers, trying to keep his disappointment with himself out of his voice. “Looks like it.” He can’t help but take a few moments to glance back at Steven. His jeans are stuck to his legs from hip to ankle, he’s pushed his damp hair into a series of unruly spikes, and there’s still rain clinging to the sides of his neck and the hollow of his throat. While Andrew has no doubt that he looks like a drowned rat, Steven looks like something out of a Renaissance painting, almost ludicrously beautiful.
For a moment, he’s almost glad that he didn’t make his move, because he suddenly doesn’t feel like he’s good enough to even look at Steven, let alone touch or kiss him.
“Wanna head back?” he asks, returning his gaze to the sky as he asks, where the late afternoon sun is about to burst free from behind a lingering gray cloud. Steven’s footsteps are muted against the wet concrete as he steps out into the last of the drizzle and glances back over his shoulder at Andrew.
“Sure. Little bit more rain won’t kill us.”
As they walk back, Andrew tries to keep a respectable distance between them, tries to prevent new touches from burning his skin, but it doesn’t work. Part of the problem is that Steven seems to gravitate to him; every time Andrew takes a step away, Steven takes one closer. The other part of the problem is that, despite what Andrew’s brain tells him is the smart thing to do, his body disobeys, instinctively goes searching for those touches, presses in closer so that the entire length of his arm is brushing against Steven’s.
He just can’t bring himself to stop.
The blocks rapidly disappear underneath their feet and, in what feels like the mere blink of an eye, they’ve made it to the steps leading up to Steven’s apartment building, the concrete and railing slick with the recently departed rain. They stop at the base of the stairs, so close that when Steven swings his hand slightly, his fingertips brush against the inside of Andrew’s wrist.
It’s a gentle touch, but it feels like a live wire pressing into Andrew’s damp skin.
“Tonight was really nice,” Steven says quietly. It’s not a sentence that should throw Andrew off, but it’s definitely not part of their normal routine. Normally, they part with a last comment about the food or a simple see you tomorrow.
This is new. This is strange.
“Yeah,” Andrew answers once he’s gotten his wits about him again. “I had a great time.” Absently, he realizes that he can sense Steven’s fingers hovering near the inside of his wrist, and part of him wants to close that space, initiate something, just to see where it goes.
Before he can commit to a course of action, Steven smiles at him and steps away.
“See you in the morning,” he says over his shoulder as he starts up the stairs. Andrew manages to say something back, some kind of acknowledgment, but the specifics of what actually leaves his mouth remains a mystery, mainly because he’s too busy watching Steven head up the stairs. If he was to try and justify it to someone, he would say that it’s because the stairs are steep and wet, that he’s just making sure Steven gets in okay.
But that would just be an excuse.
The truth is that he just can’t bring himself to move yet.
Steven stops by the entrance and pulls his keys out - Andrew can see them glimmering in his hand, catching the light from the bulb installed in the alcove surrounding the door. Andrew tells himself that he’ll start walking once those keys actually go in the lock, once Steven actually steps inside. He’ll go down to the end of the block, order an Uber (if the rain didn’t destroy his phone), go home, and try to convince himself that nothing about this night was any different from the others that they’ve spent together.
But Steven doesn’t unlock the door.
He remains still for a few moments, back to Andrew, head slightly bowed, the pale nape of his neck exposed. With each consecutive second that he doesn’t move, Andrew feels more rooted to the spot, as if the sidewalk has swallowed his feet whole.
Eventually, Steven turns back around, shoves his keys back into his pockets, and retraces his journey down the stairs, faster this time, fast enough that Andrew is actually concerned that he might slip and fall. When his hand slides along the railing, water sprays along either edge. Each of his footsteps seems as loud as cannon fire.
Andrew’s heart is in his throat. He can’t breathe, can’t swallow, can’t speak.
So when Steven reaches the bottom step and asks, “Can I?” while still moving towards Andrew, all Andrew can do is nod.
Barely a second later, Steven crashes into his front hard enough to knock him back a step and kisses him.
Somehow, the hope in Andrew’s chest is simultaneously replaced with crackling fireworks and a wave of relief.
Steven’s palms come up to curl around his cheeks, and his long fingers push up into Andrew’s wet hair, shaping it in a way that he’s sure he’ll laugh at later, when he looks in the mirror. For the time being, instead of thinking about that, he drops his hands to Steven’s waist, fists his fingers into the sodden fabric of his jacket, and returns the kiss with everything he has, tilts his head to the side and kisses Steven back until there’s spots flashing behind his closed eyelids. Steven’s mouth tastes like rainwater and a hint of vanilla from dessert, and while Andrew tries to wait an appropriate amount of time, he finds himself chasing after the taste sooner than later, finds himself running his tongue along the soft curve of Steven’s bottom lip before he slips it into Steven’s mouth. Steven whimpers and presses up against him so firmly that Andrew really wishes he had something at his back, a wall or maybe the side of a car, something to keep him standing upright.
Steven backs away first, flushed pink and panting. When his ink-black eyelashes flutter open, he looks almost awestruck, even a bit confused, the way he gets sometimes when he’s tried something expensive and bizarre and he’s trying to figure out how to accurately describe it for the camera.
“I shouldn’t have waited so long to do that,” he says, fingers still tight in Andrew’s hair. Andrew slides his hands under Steven’s jacket, so that his hands are settled on where the slightly less sodden fabric of Steven’s shirt is clinging to the slight curve of his waist.
“Me neither,” he replies before he leans back in for another kiss, one that’s slower and less frantic, more controlled and no less amazing than the first had been.
By the time Steven makes it back up the stairs, Andrew’s lost count of how many times they fell back together, how many times they murmured that they had to stop, that they had to get going. Once again, he lingers at the bottom of the stairs while Steven heads inside, and only once Steven is out of view does he start moving. His damp clothes are uncomfortably stuck to his limbs, but he barely notices. He’s more distracted on how his mouth is slightly sore from pressing against Steven’s, how his bottom lip is aching from Steven’s teeth tugging on it a little too hard.
As he rounds the corner and pulls his phone out to get an Uber, a grin spreads across his face.
It really has been a strange night but it’s also, safe to say, been one of the best he’s experienced in a long, long time.
He can’t wait to see what the morning brings.
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kinetic-elaboration · 7 years
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May 25: The Finale
So here's how I stand with The 100 now that the finale has aired.
I still haven't watched anything past 4x10, but I'm reading spoilers on my dash and keeping up with the general outlines of things. Before the finale aired, I was starting to get curious about developments again and thought I might just wait for the last ep to air and then binge the final arc maybe over the long weekend or something. Now that I know how the season ends up, my interest in watching has plummeted and while I think it would be silly of me to say 'I'll never watch it ever' (those are very much the sort of words a person like me later eats), I have no interest in watching it any time soon. Maybe over the summer. Sometime. Eventually. Who knows?
The biggest reason to watch the last episodes is to be able to have an actual leg to stand on for complaining purposes but frankly not being up to date on canon hasn't stopped me yet, lol. I just disclaim all complaints with 'I'm one of those annoying people who bitches about developments in episodes I haven't seen' and leave it at that.  
I don't want to be like the anti's, hating the show and talking about how much I hate it but sticking around in fandom anyway, raining on everyone else's parade. It worries me that people might come across my ranty posts and think that of me. But... okay, look, I have done a lot of complaining going all the way back to season 3 and I'm up front both about what I don't like in the show and about why I'm here in the fandom anyway. I like the fandom, I like the characters, I like the universe, etc. I still want to engage in the transformative-works aspect of the fandom. And honestly I've never been a meta writer or engaged in speculation or predictions so looking only at what I produce, content-wise...whether or not I like the canon or even whether or not I'm caught up on it makes no difference. It will matter even less now that we're in the hiatus and there's no new material to speculate on in the first place.  
Finally, and most importantly, I'm really honestly not here to ruin or even put a damper on anyone else's fandom experience. I tag my negative posts as negative. I censor names when I'm talking shit about specific characters or ships. I don't go into people's inboxes and I don't even have a Twitter but if I did, I wouldn't use it to harass other users or people who work on the show. Like, I just want to sincerely love the first two seasons, the general concept, and the characters, while bemoaning the state of the show as it is now. (Also, tbh...sometimes complaining is fun and the vast number of people who leisure-complain on any number of topics is evidence enough of this phenomenon—at least I'm honest about taking pleasure in the occasional bout of this is so fucking stupid inconsequential-rage.)
As for what I actually think of what I've heard of the finale.... I've tried to write this up a couple of different ways and I think (hope) I've FINALLY distilled my thoughts.
The two things I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT out of the finale were (1) for the characters to go to space and (2) a time jump of pretty much any sort. So now that those two things have happened, my brain has basically short circuited. I cannot even comprehend this. I literally don't have the words. Maybe I sound hyperbolic, but I'm just trying to explain how much disdain I have for these two plot points. I can't even fathom how anyone ever thought this would be a good idea; it's like I'm in an alternate entertainment universe. It's ludicrous.
My problem with the space launch is that it crosses the disbelief line for me. Obviously there's a lot of faux-science in this show and everyone has a different line as to what is reasonable-enough if you don't think about it too hard, and what is just absolute nonsense but, for whatever reason, this is my line. I don't know what the details were on the actual show come launch-time but just the concept of launching a space craft from a post-apocalyptic wasteland is so ridiculous that I cannot imagine a way to squint or turn my head or angle my screen so that it seems even remotely tenable. A ROCKET LAUNCH. FROM THE RUINS OF POST-NUCLEAR NEW YORK. Like ?????????????????????????. I previously described this possibility as sounding to my ears like riding a pegicorn to New Jersey to get the magic potion from Raul (s/o to my freshman year roommate for the Raul in-joke, so useful to me so many years later), and that's still how I feel.
My bigger problem is with the time jump. To put it briefly, it's a new show now. The combination of Radiation 2.0 and the time jump has cemented that.
I've felt for a while now that whatever it is I'm watching now isn't what I originally signed up to watch. I've seen a few other posts to similar effect, and even my mother (who acts as my Typical Casual Viewer one-person control group, even though quite obviously she is not representative of a typical cw viewer at all—still she's not in the fandom so she is completely untainted by what goes on in these parts)--even my mom said she thinks JRoth/the writers are basically telling a completely different story now than they were initially. I've had, and am still having, a hard time articulating exactly what makes it fundamentally different (as opposed to merely a show that's evolved over time, as long-running shows do), or even when exactly it happened. But I guess at its core the complaint is: this is supposedly a show about "the hundred," and of that group almost all have been killed or lost to the ether, and the remaining members have had their screen time chronically cut short to accommodate a growing cast of characters who have increasingly little to do with that core group or its original purpose or journey. The complaint is  partly one of frustration at the large number of delinquent deaths and the small scraps of screen time given to other alleged mains, and partly a more general annoyance at the loss of the whole meaning of the affiliation "the hundred." What does it mean to be a member of the hundred anymore? Basically nothing. And when it ceased to have meaning (by which I mean S3), the show became, in essence, a different show.
Obviously there's a counter to this whole general complaint (that the show is too bloated with characters generally and/or Grounders specifically), which I've also seen floated out there recently, which is that destroying everything on Earth will allow something more like S1 to flourish again, and a new emphasis to be placed on the core young people. To this I say, first, it's way too early to tell what S5 will be. And I'm in a particularly bad place to really engage with this argument, given how much of even the current canon I've missed. BUT I am skeptical. First, we were told S4 would feel like S1 again and IMO it most definitely has not. Second, most of the hundred are dead and/or gone—I'm not just talking about the toll among the original mains or even the original named characters, I'm talking about how 42 of the original captured teens made it out of Mt. Weather and all but 4 of them were never heard of again. So even if the show returns to caring more about, say, Monty than it does about Grounder of the Week, nothing can undo the destruction to the original concept; nothing can really solve the problem of which I'm complaining. And third, I don't think the writers think they're writing a bad show; I mean, they're the ones who brought us down this path in the first place. This, what we've seen over the past 2 years, IS JRoth's vision. Yes, sometimes showrunners make a mis-step and readjust course, and I thought perhaps that would happen for S4, but it hasn't, which means that he doesn't think S3 had the problems I think it had, which means there's no reason to think S5 will be any better than S3 or S4 were, at least from my POV.  
But anyway as I was saying—
Maybe there's been room for argument about this same show/different show question up to now; it's a fuzzy sort of concept in my mind with which I'm not entirely comfortable—I feel a bit like I'm just Complaining About Change like an old grandma, tbh. Despite how it sounds, I do want to be open-minded about others' creativity and to give the benefit of the doubt to ongoing projects/unfinished stories. Regardless, ending S4 in this way is a pretty big sign that the theory, whether or not it was right before, is right as of now. Is there any way to more effectively raze the ground and salt the Earth than to literally raze the ground and then skip ahead 6 years? I have a million problems with this large time gap, but on the top of the list is that, like everyone over the age of 25 knows, a person changes dramatically between the ages of 18 and 25, or 16 and 22, just in the normal course of events, apocalypse(s) not withstanding. The writers have given themselves carte blanche to do literally absolutely anything with these characters. Even for a show that's barely cared at all about consistency over time in pretty much any aspect, that's troubling. (Also, like, I signed up for a show about a bunch of teens in the forest, not a group of twenty-somethings...doing whatever they'll be doing in season 5. I feel a tiny bit like a promise has been broken, sorry.)
So having basically established that whatever this show used to be, it's not that anymore, I guess the question is: what is it now, and do I like it? I think this is the question every viewer basically has to ask themselves, consciously or no. For me, what I've seen the last two years is some mismash of GoT, general dystopia, repetitive story lines, action sequences, and nonsense "science." The plot is ridiculous,  the pacing is terrible, the emphases are (for my taste) in all the wrong places, the characters are shoddily drawn, and often times, it's fucking boring. It's a bad show. Things like loyalty to a few characters, interest in a few story lines, and sheer curiosity/inertia have kept me here despite it all, but at this point I feel the balance has just shifted imperceptibly the other way. Jasper's death has a lot to do with it (he was my favorite, he had the only good or even coherent story of S3, and the way his death and its aftermath were handled were so insulting one could easily justify a decision to stop watching as mini-protest), but I think that it was more the (very heavy) straw on the camel's back than anything else.
I guess the tl:dr version of this is GOODBYE BITCHES I'M DONE and yet I still can't even promise I won't be watching Season 5, like I can't predict how I'll feel in a year.
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thebestintoronto · 6 years
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The best Toronto concerts of July 2018
Big acts like Janelle Monáe, Radiohead, Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu are all in town; plus, Nano Mutek and the final Warped Tour
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1. Janelle Monáe
The genre-defying musician has yet to score a big hit single to rocket her into mainstream consciousness, but has steadily grown her audience thanks in large part to her incredible live presence. An heir apparent to go-for-broke acts like Prince or James Brown, Janelle Monáe concerts generally mix theatrical flourishes, audience participation and almost non-stop (and deeply satisfying) funk rhythms. And this time she’s coming to town in support of her best album, Dirty Computer. Not to be missed.
July 16, doors 6:30 pm. Rebel. $69.50-$75. ticketmaster.ca.
2. Radiohead
It’s been six years since the stage collapsed at Downview Park, killing Radiohead’s drum tech Scott Johnson. And while an inquiry into Johnson’s death is still ongoing despite the case no longer in courts, the English art rock band is making their return to Toronto. They play back-to-back shows at Air Canada Centre – aka the newly minted Scotiabank Arena – on July 19 and 20. Tickets for both concerts unsurprisingly sold out within minutes. While the band’s last album, A Moon Shaped Pool, was released in 2016, fans will likely be hoping to hear favourites like Karma Police, Creep and Paranoid Android from their back catalogue
July 19-20, doors 7:30 pm. Scotiabank Arena. $79.50-$99.50. ticketmaster.ca
3. Ms. Lauryn Hill, Santigold, Busta Rhymes, Tierra Whack, Dave East
The hip-hop icon has a rep for being late and difficult, but she also happens to be one of the most intense live musicians working today. Whether or you like the live, furiously played re-arrangements of her classic hits or not, you have to admit she’s a hard-working frontperson and intense rapper. This tour will feature her seminal The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill album in its entirety and a stacked list of openers, including fellow rapid-fire rapper Busta Rhymes (who is back in town at Rebel on July 27 with Lil Kim).
July 18, doors 5 pm. Budweiser Stage. $37-$199, all ages. ticketmaster.ca, livenation.com.
4. Courtney Barnett
The laid-back Australian overthinker/songwriter brings a new batch of songs from her excellent new album Tell Me How You Really Feel to Toronto for two nights. A mix of wry sarcasm and wordplay and intense introspection, Barnett’s music is sure to attract a very specific, but surprisingly far-reaching crowd. Call it a sign of the times.
July 9 -10, doors 7 pm. Danforth Music Hall. $37.50-$40. ticketmaster.ca.
5. Erykah Badu
It’s been a while since Erykah Badu blessed a stage in Toronto (five years – yes, we’re counting). Good news: the singular soul/R&B/funk star is coming to town to spin at legendary Art Deco venue the Carlu as part of the expanded AfroChic Festival under her Cooley High-inspired DJ alias, Lo Down Loretta Brown. The next day she’ll hold court for an on-stage chat alongside unnamed special guests.
July 14, doors 6 pm. The Carlu. July 15, 2-6 pm. Globe and Mail Centre (in conversation). $50-$125. Afrochic.ca.
6. St. Vincent
Annie Clark hasn’t performed in Canada since 2015, but she’s doubling down this summer with a stop in Toronto and Montreal. Ahead of her performance at Osheaga, she’ll be at the Sony Centre. Unlike typical St. Vincent gigs with a backing band and visuals, this tour will see Clark performing songs from all five of her albums solo.
July 31, doors 7 pm. Sony Centre for the Performing Arts. $49.50-$79.50, all ages. ticketmaster.ca, livenation.com.
7. Feast In The East 69
Feast In The East is bringing its music and food series back to the park with an outdoor show (and meal!) at Prairie Drive Park. In addition to art installations and dinner, veteran Indigenous singer/songwriter Eric Landry will bring his guitar-accompanied folks songs to the stage. Other performers include psychedelic country band The Highest Order, and Drag City freak folk duo Faun Fables. Vegan eats will be provided, free of charge, by chef Keithen Codner.
July 7. Prairie Drive Park. FREE, all ages. feastintheeast.tumblr.ca.
8. Tink
We’ve been huge fans of the Chicago rapper since we put her on our cover in 2015. The Timbaland-produced major label debut she told us about never saw the light of day, but she’s put out several mixtapes full of sung-rapped songs that incisively tackle love and loneliness. Her latest release, the six-track EP Pain & Pleasure, is no exception.
July 13, doors 7 pm. Mod Club. $25-$35, all ages. ticketweb.ca.
9. Sleep
Cannabis won’t be legal by the time Sleep come to Danforth Music Hall after all, but you can still expect to see bongs being ripped in front of pubs all throughout the Danforth. The pioneers of stoner metal put out the Sciences, their first album in nearly two decades, in April (guess which day), and its titanically slow and heavy doom riffs are begging to echo through one of our city’s music halls. Are you blasting Marijuanaut’s Theme in anticipation yet? We are.
July 30, 7 pm. Danforth Music Hall. $30.75-$38.50. ticketmaster.ca.
10. Nano Mutek
Ahead of Montreal’s big electronic music festival in August, Mutek has partnered with local promoter It’s Not U It’s Me for a teaser. This year, six artists on the rise in Toronto and Montreal are performing, including Korea Town Acid, who recently dropped her otherworldly debut EP Mahogani Forest, and E-Saggila, whose industrial techno and noise-inspired sets recently wowed crowds at CMW. Rounding out the main room are Scott Hardware, Richard Wenger, Ginger Breaker and ACOTE. Set at 2FL, a King West event space next to ping-pong bar Spin, a second room will showcase even more talent: DJ Name, Jaime Sin and Priori. Even if you’re planning on making the trek to Montreal this summer, this satellite show holds its own as one of the best electronic events of the summer.
July 7, doors 10 pm. 2FL. $15-30. eventbrite.ca.
11. Pharmakon
Margaret Chardier’s noisey, droney, scraping, screaming confrontation was one of our highlights of Halifax’s Obey Convention. If any of those descriptors appeal to you, you should be at this Garrison show. It’s a seriously cathartic experience.
July 21, doors 9 pm. The Garrison. $15. ticketfly.com.
12. Hopped and Confused
The annual beer and music series is making its way to Toronto for the first time ever. Located in the Distillery District, the one-day event features a Canadian indie rock lineup of Sloan, Tokyo Police Club, Land of Talk Mt. Joy and Taylor Knox, as well as other acts curated by Dine Alone Records. What goes better with music on a hot day than cold brews? Luckily, over 15 Mill Street beers and Brickworks ciders will be available on tap for $5.
July 14, 3 pm. Mill Street Brewery. $40-$80. hoppedandconfused.ca
13. L7
The Los Angeles-based proto-riot grrrl band are playing their first local gig in three years. Last time, they had a crowd of mostly women swinging rubber dicks in the air to their thunderous 90s hits. (Even more memorably, a shitlist in the washroom listing alleged local music scene abusers stirred up conversation about sexual assault in the music scene.) This time, the foursome has some solid new tunes in their arsenal and are planning to release their first album in 20 years next February.
July 25, doors 7 pm. Danforth Music Hall. $26.50. ticketmaster.ca.
14. King Princess
One of the buzziest acts coming to town this summer is retro-pop musician Mikaela Straus. She’s the first artist signed to mega-producer Mark Ronson’s label Zelig Records and her torchy queer love anthem 1950 found a fan in none other than Harry Styles, who recently tweeted the lyrics. She’s sold out two shows at the Drake so if you didn’t get tickets, you only have FOMO to fear: It’s probably a safe bet that she’ll be back to play a much bigger venue sometime soon.
July 15-16, doors 7:30 pm. The Drake Hotel. $25.05. ticketweb.ca.
15. Deafheaven
The San Francisco black metal band has been controversial in metal circles since they started throwing shimmering shoegaze and dream pop textures into the typically unrelenting subgenre template, and the early tastes of the former NOW cover stars’ upcoming album Ordinary Corrupt Human Love adds even more colours into that bleak palette. So don’t expect your typical metal show crowd, but do expect a dynamic-filled sound adventure.
July 27, doors 7 pm. Opera House. $22.50. ticketfly.com, rotate.com, soundscapesmusic.com.
16. Warped Tour
The travelling punk festival is calling it quits after this year, and though it has a checkered history whose toxicity has been showing itself long before #MeToo, it still feels like the end of an era. It’s probably best to let it die, but first there’s a nostalgia-filled lineup that includes alumni like Sum 41, Simple Plan, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, The Used and Silverstein alongside current Hot Topic teen favourites like 3OH!3, Underoath, Assuming We Survive and In Hearts Wake.
July 17, doors 11 am. Budweiser Stage. $69.50, all ages. ticketmaster.ca.
17. Weezer and Pixies
Nostalgia is often strongest in summertime, so a Weezer/Pixies co-headlining tour makes sense. Everyone’s two favourite college bands will land at the Budweiser stage on July 14. The tour comes on the heels of Weezer’s 11th studio release Pacific Daydream (and in case you’re wondering, Rivers Cuomo is 48 years old), and lucky for Weezer fans, they havn’t changed all that much over the years. Expect to play air guitar with hundreds of other fans to the likes of Say It Ain’t So, El Scorcho, summer fave Island In The Sun and their new – charting hit! – cover of Toto’s Africa. Pixies will be there holding down their hits from the last three decades – yes, if you want to feel old: Surfer Rosa was released in 1988.
July 14, doors 7: 30 pm. Budweiser Stage. $59-$310. ticketmaster.ca.
18. Arcade Fire
It’s been one hell of a year for Arcade Fire. After performing on Saturday Night Live for the fifth time and winning Album of the Year at the JUNOs, the Montreal band is heading back out on the road in support of Everything Now (again). Calling it the Everything Now Continued tour, their stop in Toronto is the only Canadian city on the list – albeit a slight step down from the Air Canada Centre, where they last played. See the world’s biggest indie band live at Budweiser Stage.
July 22, doors 6 pm. Budweiser Stage. $36-$100, all ages. ticketmaster.ca, livenation.com.
This article " The best Toronto concerts of July 2018" was first seen on Now Toronto
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musicdish · 7 years
Text
New Bag(daddios) Of Tricks Runneth Over For Old Punk Rock Dog With Release Of Debut Solo Album
Time is a fickle mistress. One minute you're the new guy in town, anxious to get "up to speed" with whichever 'scene' you've opted to become a part of - the next, you're remembering the "good old days" and wondering where the time went. Back in the early 1990's, New York City's The Baghdaddios were the new kids on the block.........or more apropos, the new punkers on The Bowery. Playing their third-ever show at hallowed punk birthplace C.B.G.B., they carved out a slight but meaningful niche in the Big Apple's indie community, playing nearly anywhere at anytime for anything, be it a paying gig, the door, pass the hat, free drinks or even just for "the hell of it", as front man and founding member Kenn Rowell recalled the other day during a break from shooting his latest music video. The group released a couple of CDs, a "whole mess"of videos and internet singles, played - in Rowell's estimate - "thousands" of shows, did hundreds of interviews and trekking to countless cities in various locales across the U.S., Canada and the UK. Every now and then they'd get word that their music was airing either here or overseas and on a few occasions their songs would end up finding exposure on a national TV network in any one of those aforementioned places. They've frequently received fan mail from random corners of the globe. And, yes, along the way, they started their own Benefit to help NYC's homeless - a Benefit which has spread to several metropolitan areas in America and abroad over the last two decades - called Blank-Fest. "Yeah, it's been a fun journey", Rowell smiled as the videographer downloaded the latest files from the shoot to his laptop. "I can't believe the band is coming up on it's 25th Anniversary, in November! I mean, I don't feel old........." True, he doesn't impress one as an "old man", although he does come across as someone who's 'been there and done that'. Still, after a quarter century he appears to have that boundless enthusiasm that earmarks most of the YouTube videos in circulation from past Baghdaddios performances over the years. Early in 2017 the group released a grainy-but-still-must-see performance from that storied third-show-ever at CB's, where they eviscerated the time-honored Beatles classic "Hey Jude" to conclude the evening's proceedings. If anything, a boyish Kenn actually comes across a little tentative, almost apologetic - certainly not the whirlwind we would see in later performances at the same venue within a couple of years. When asked about the ongoing evolution of the group's sound and image, Rowell just sighs and then admits "I was a bit out of my mind at the time - might even still be". Refusing to give his age (other than saying "over 40" or "buzz off, man") he appears naturally younger (we're guessing mid-to-late 40s) and only addresses the subject once, when asked if the new album's style change had anything to do with him getting older. "I never thought I'd be doing this, at this age. Actually I never really thought I'd make it past my 40th birthday. You know, when I was younger, I thought of 40 as being so old - but now that I'm well past it, it's not that bad. I mean, I still feel the same as I've always felt. The same things still piss me off. The same things still float my boat. If anything, the shift in style isn't a reflection of my getting older as much as it's just that I wanted to do something different for a change. I've been angry and full of attitude since I was in high school - but how many times can you yell F-bombs into a live mic? So THAT part of me hasn't changed a bit, that yearning to do something different. Besides, I always said that I like to keep 'em guessing." As the years peeled off the calendar and various members of the group quit - some coming back and then leaving again - he's been the one constant in the band's timeline. So when word reached us of the imminent release of his first solo album (ironically titled "Instant Solo Album" because, as Kenn puts it, it took almost a full decade to put out) we had to ask one question. "Why?". If anything, he seemed to bristle when we brought up the subject. "Yeah, yeah, I know the whole rep", Kenn explains: "I'm the guy writing the songs and doing the singing and talking to the crowd all through the history of The Baghdaddios - so what makes this new album a 'solo'? I guess it's two-fold, the reason I slapped my name and mug on the front of this one. First, the whole style of the material has a completely different feel from anything The Baghdaddios usually do. Oh, sure we have slower tunes like "Let It Shine" (which gets the acoustic treatment on this release) and "Abbie Hoffman", which to me always sounded like a 60s-era anthem. But we've always described The Baghdaddios style as "three chords and punt" - we just couldn't help ourselves from playing everything bigger, and faster and louder". True, past reviews on AllMusic.com compared the band to one of their biggest influences, The Ramones; while a quick listen of Instant Solo Album belies a decided acoustic folk and classic rock feel. Just hearing the opening guitar strums on the collection's first number, "Good To Be Back", one can't help but picture a group of college students sitting around a dorm room, singing along between sips of grain alcohol punch on a Friday night. Furthering the feel for this mood is the harmonica solo - done flawlessly by Rowell - augmented by a strong cello underpinning, before both cello and harmonica take the listener with them as the song fades out (no Baghdaddios song - to date - has ever faded out). The follow-up to this sounds almost like an outtake from a 1970's Neil Young session in the form of another Rowell original, "I Guess I'll Never Fall In Love". Mind you, this is the same "I Guess I'll Never Fall In Love" that consistently pushed the V.U. meters into the red from the band's 2006 release, Autopsy-Turvy - but all the grunge vitriol and punk swagger has been stripped away. If anything, Rowell's solo version chugs along almost joyously. In fact, it's so airy that the listener doesn't even notice that it clocks in a little shy of 5 minutes in length! There are 18 songs on the album and yet it's like a visit from a long, lost friend who leaves before you get the chance to fully catch up. I found myself going back and playing several of the tunes multiple times; for me it was over way too soon and it felt like I didn't want to let go. Part of the appeal of this offering is the eclectic mix, not only of song styles and instrumentation but even in production particulars. Numbers veer from slick, crystal-clear digitally recorded tracks to performances that sound like glorified demos - a celebration of the lo-fi aesthetic that KR confesses to having a soft spot for. (It should then come as no surprise that one of the many respected industry pros consulted for the production end of this effort was none other than Guided By Voices producer Todd Tobias - credited as a pioneering architect of the Lo-Fi sound, championed by "Voices" front man Robert Pollard - and was thus rewarded with a co-producer credit as a result.) When queried about the changes in recording ambience for the album, Rowell further confesses that said changes weren't necessarily by choice - and exist for obvious reasons. "When I started on this I had a few studio recordings which explored my more acoustic side. I had some of these songs in my head since I was 17 years old but I never got them out because they didn't have that Baghdaddios-like feel to them. To me they sounded like I was doing Dylan or Johnny Cash or even The Beatles. It certainly wasn't punk. And I had only recorded them because I got a good deal on studio time and thought it would be fun to actually sing the tunes, rather than scream 'em. Along the same time I met a filmmaker who wanted to do a music video for my band - but this was right before we were leaving for England. Between preparing for the trip and playing last-minute shows we just didn't have the time to do a vid. I didn't want to lose the opportunity to work with this guy so I handed him a cassette copy of a 6-year-old acoustic demo that I had recorded in my apartment. We just decided to do a quick production for that as a sort of solo number - the video came out so well that I started to think about cleaning up the sound on the recording and maybe putting out a 6 or 7-song EP of original acoustic tunes. Then I found another old cassette of a song I had written and recorded when I was in high school and then another one from my college days and it sort of took off from there. I found it liberating because I had all these old songs that I would occasionally play for friends but since they were never formally released I didn't feel right springing them on some poor unsuspecting paying crowd. Well, when you have songs recorded on various systems, spread out over a 20 or 25-year period there are going to be a LOT of differences. Now try getting all that to sound like it all belongs on the same album. THAT'S why it took so damned long to finish it all off! Over the last 10 years Rowell estimates he stopped and restarted work on this project, in earnest, about a half-dozen times. "Each time we'd get close to releasing it I'd go back and listen to the whole thing on headphones and I'd go 'I can't release this uneven pile of crap' - I mean, some of the songs had all this "hiss" on them - others sounded muddy. There was one song that I absolutely loved - I've actually broken it out at some shows even though no one's ever heard it before. It was something I wrote when I was in college and it always reminded me of The Beatles Rubber Soul album." The only problem was that it was recorded on an old 4-track reel-to-reel machine, the original tape long since lost. The only existing copy of that recording was discovered on an old "normal bias" cassette in a pile of stuff in the corner of Rowell's parents' basement about 8 years ago. "The first studio guy I brought it to said that it was impossible to restore. He got me to re-record it on Pro-Tools and even though I played along with the tape through headphones and tried to make it sound as close to the original as possible, I hated it. The 'magic' or whatever it was, was missing. It took several years and several engineers working on it and it still wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be." Enter Michael Jung of Alice Donut fame. Kenn met Michael at a Baghdaddios show on the Lower East Side a few years ago and had stayed in touch via social media. It was he who suggested Kenn bring the track to him. There by the grace of Alice and the EQ gods goeth "When Will I Learn", the ninth song on the album. "No, it'll never be a testament to modern recording techniques but the hiss is gone, you can hear the vocals clearly and all the emotion of a 19-year-old in agony over being in love comes through loud and clear. I would have put the song on the album even if Michael hadn't cleaned it up so well - but now I don't feel like I have to apologize for it being there. It belongs with all the rest of them and I'm forever grateful for that!" The rest of the album runs the gamut from the pop-hooked "All About Me" with it's catchy 'me-me-me' refrain to "Henry", which strikes one as an homage to White Album-era Beatles. "Antonio", which laments the passing of an infant rides a lush four-stringed quartet to an emotional finish and "This Old Soul" is showcased in two different incarnations: one complete with banjo and fiddle accompaniment and sounding as upbeat as the second performance of the same song sounds melancholy, where Rowell adopts a lower register to purr the plaintive lyrics in a rendering very reminiscent of those famously Rick Rubin-produced Johnny Cash outings, toward the end of The Man In Black's life. It's only fitting that this second version was dubbed parenthetically as "Confessional". "Dreams" could easily pass as an Irish folk hymn and, yes kids, there's even the ol' proverbial hidden track which serves to remind us that Mr. Rowell - when all is said and done - is still, first and foremost, an unrepentant punk-rocker at heart. Having been released on April 27 - a date Rowell chose on purpose because it was his parents' wedding anniversary ("I'm a sentimental Dude, what can I say?") - the release is already garnering a good buzz amongst friends and fellow industry professionals. Many of the songs already have music videos done for them with more on the way. Sales have gone surprisingly well. With all this good will in evidence, the question was raised regarding any plans to tour. I was alittle surprised when Rowell didn't even miss a beat before flatly saying "No". "Nah, man - I mean, look, I'd love to but there's just so much on my plate right now - to be honest, I didn't even think of it. It had taken so long to get this done that my feeling today is 'get it out and move on'. In fact, at the end of last year I made a list of outstanding projects that I wanted to finish up and get 'out there'; this album was at the top of the list. I think I counted something like 23 of these individual projects. Besides finishing off a bunch of music videos for myself and The Baghdaddios I have enough full electric material already recorded for a Baghdaddios double album. I'm in the middle of recording 15 new band songs for release at the end of the year. There's a short film that I shot in 2014 which I seriously need to find the time to edit and get released. I have a collection of demos that I did for the band - all done on nylon string acoustic guitar - that I thought would make a great follow-up solo album (working title: "Nylon Raw") and we're celebrating Blank-Fest's 20th Anniversary show in December. In fact, I haven't even set a date for that yet and it's only 8 months away! I really need to promote this album but going out on the road is not really an option at present. Oh and then there's all the Yvonne stuff". The Yvonne that he is referring to is his "Mrs": celebrated Lower East Side bilingual poet Yvonne Sotomayor. Kenn has been playing music behind her spoken word pieces, recording and producing them - along with producing all her "poetry videos" ("Think: music video for spoken word, man!") since right after they got together in 2012. Having performed in 8 states, two countries and all throughout their native NYC, Ms. Sotomayor scored her biggest coup last summer when she appeared - with Kenn in tow - at the Iowa State Fair (on the same stage, later graced that night by Rock 'n Roll Hall of Famers Cheap Trick!). "Performing with Yvonne is yet another side of me that I love. We do everything together as it is - I've gotten her up to do 'her thang' at Baghdaddios shows all the time - so for us it's effortless. She has a six-piece EP coming out later this year and I keep telling her to get the book she's in the middle of putting together issued at the same time. We just bought a hand-held 16mm movie camera and we're dying to shoot her next video on film. Believe me, between recording with The Baghdaddios, Blank-Fest and the poetry shows, I barely have time to sleep, let alone do a solo tour!". For someone who's been in the business for as long as Rowell, he seems pretty unfazed by all the recent news. When asked about it, he seemed fairly resolved to maintain an even keel. "What would you say was a highlight of your career?" "When I got the email, informing me of my solo album's first sale." "What was the first thing you did when you found out?" "I kissed my wife and went to work." At this point we both noticed the video director pacing in the background. "Well, break time's over - we want to get this shoot done while we still have daylight", Rowell blurts out, signaling an end to Q & A time. Of course it was at that moment that it occurred to me that he had only given one reason for doing a solo album, as opposed to integrating these newly-released tunes as part of some future band compilation. When I reminded him of this, he smiled and left me with this parting bit of insight: "A few years back I was handing out blankets to the homeless on Christmas Eve. These were the same blankets that we collected at our annual Blank-Fest show.........a friend had picked them up at the venue and had brought them to a club in the Village where we would later meet up. When I stopped in the club's lobby to grab some blankets to take out in my rental car one of the bouncers grabbed me, like I was ripping the place off and said 'HEY, those blankets are from The Baghdaddios, for the homeless!'. It suddenly dawned on me that after almost 20 years of being in the middle of the whole Baghdaddios thing that I had done a piss-poor job of letting people know who I am. Look, it's insulting to the rest of the group to say that I'm the whole band. The Baghdaddios were and always will be a collective effort. I couldn't imagine doing those songs in the studio without either Neil (Richter) or Paul (Zlotucha) on the drums, or John (Sidoti) or Phil (McAughk) on bass. Their contributions were more covert but they shaped our sound just as surely as my songwriting and onstage histrionics did. So a solo album was a chance for me to step out and say 'No, THIS is all me'. Most of the songs are just myself on a guitar, doing a vocal. With many of them I overdubbed the harmonies and backing vocals. If I used a full band on any of them it was guys I grew up with or had known most of my life like my best friend from college, Paul on lead guitar or my cousin, Rye on drums. So, besides the styles being different than a straight-up, old-school punk band, it was more of a chance to say 'you know that guy you see screaming on stage? Well, he's got a few more surprises for you." And then he smiled one last time, made a quick jazz-hands gesture and howled "SURPRISE"! It was a good moment to leave. Just like a good, old-fashioned Baghdaddios show: once the music stops, it's pretty much been all said. For now. Website: http://www.baghdaddios.com Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn5Xfux1lnE
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musicdish · 7 years
Text
New Bag(daddios) Of Tricks Runneth Over For Old Punk Rock Dog With Release Of Debut Solo Album
Time is a fickle mistress. One minute you're the new guy in town, anxious to get "up to speed" with whichever 'scene' you've opted to become a part of - the next, you're remembering the "good old days" and wondering where the time went. Back in the early 1990's, New York City's The Baghdaddios were the new kids on the block.........or more apropos, the new punkers on The Bowery. Playing their third-ever show at hallowed punk birthplace C.B.G.B., they carved out a slight but meaningful niche in the Big Apple's indie community, playing nearly anywhere at anytime for anything, be it a paying gig, the door, pass the hat, free drinks or even just for "the hell of it", as front man and founding member Kenn Rowell recalled the other day during a break from shooting his latest music video. The group released a couple of CDs, a "whole mess"of videos and internet singles, played - in Rowell's estimate - "thousands" of shows, did hundreds of interviews and trekking to countless cities in various locales across the U.S., Canada and the UK. Every now and then they'd get word that their music was airing either here or overseas and on a few occasions their songs would end up finding exposure on a national TV network in any one of those aforementioned places. They've frequently received fan mail from random corners of the globe. And, yes, along the way, they started their own Benefit to help NYC's homeless - a Benefit which has spread to several metropolitan areas in America and abroad over the last two decades - called Blank-Fest. "Yeah, it's been a fun journey", Rowell smiled as the videographer downloaded the latest files from the shoot to his laptop. "I can't believe the band is coming up on it's 25th Anniversary, in November! I mean, I don't feel old........." True, he doesn't impress one as an "old man", although he does come across as someone who's 'been there and done that'. Still, after a quarter century he appears to have that boundless enthusiasm that earmarks most of the YouTube videos in circulation from past Baghdaddios performances over the years. Early in 2017 the group released a grainy-but-still-must-see performance from that storied third-show-ever at CB's, where they eviscerated the time-honored Beatles classic "Hey Jude" to conclude the evening's proceedings. If anything, a boyish Kenn actually comes across a little tentative, almost apologetic - certainly not the whirlwind we would see in later performances at the same venue within a couple of years. When asked about the ongoing evolution of the group's sound and image, Rowell just sighs and then admits "I was a bit out of my mind at the time - might even still be". Refusing to give his age (other than saying "over 40" or "buzz off, man") he appears naturally younger (we're guessing mid-to-late 40s) and only addresses the subject once, when asked if the new album's style change had anything to do with him getting older. "I never thought I'd be doing this, at this age. Actually I never really thought I'd make it past my 40th birthday. You know, when I was younger, I thought of 40 as being so old - but now that I'm well past it, it's not that bad. I mean, I still feel the same as I've always felt. The same things still piss me off. The same things still float my boat. If anything, the shift in style isn't a reflection of my getting older as much as it's just that I wanted to do something different for a change. I've been angry and full of attitude since I was in high school - but how many times can you yell F-bombs into a live mic? So THAT part of me hasn't changed a bit, that yearning to do something different. Besides, I always said that I like to keep 'em guessing." As the years peeled off the calendar and various members of the group quit - some coming back and then leaving again - he's been the one constant in the band's timeline. So when word reached us of the imminent release of his first solo album (ironically titled "Instant Solo Album" because, as Kenn puts it, it took almost a full decade to put out) we had to ask one question. "Why?". If anything, he seemed to bristle when we brought up the subject. "Yeah, yeah, I know the whole rep", Kenn explains: "I'm the guy writing the songs and doing the singing and talking to the crowd all through the history of The Baghdaddios - so what makes this new album a 'solo'? I guess it's two-fold, the reason I slapped my name and mug on the front of this one. First, the whole style of the material has a completely different feel from anything The Baghdaddios usually do. Oh, sure we have slower tunes like "Let It Shine" (which gets the acoustic treatment on this release) and "Abbie Hoffman", which to me always sounded like a 60s-era anthem. But we've always described The Baghdaddios style as "three chords and punt" - we just couldn't help ourselves from playing everything bigger, and faster and louder". True, past reviews on AllMusic.com compared the band to one of their biggest influences, The Ramones; while a quick listen of Instant Solo Album belies a decided acoustic folk and classic rock feel. Just hearing the opening guitar strums on the collection's first number, "Good To Be Back", one can't help but picture a group of college students sitting around a dorm room, singing along between sips of grain alcohol punch on a Friday night. Furthering the feel for this mood is the harmonica solo - done flawlessly by Rowell - augmented by a strong cello underpinning, before both cello and harmonica take the listener with them as the song fades out (no Baghdaddios song - to date - has ever faded out). The follow-up to this sounds almost like an outtake from a 1970's Neil Young session in the form of another Rowell original, "I Guess I'll Never Fall In Love". Mind you, this is the same "I Guess I'll Never Fall In Love" that consistently pushed the V.U. meters into the red from the band's 2006 release, Autopsy-Turvy - but all the grunge vitriol and punk swagger has been stripped away. If anything, Rowell's solo version chugs along almost joyously. In fact, it's so airy that the listener doesn't even notice that it clocks in a little shy of 5 minutes in length! There are 18 songs on the album and yet it's like a visit from a long, lost friend who leaves before you get the chance to fully catch up. I found myself going back and playing several of the tunes multiple times; for me it was over way too soon and it felt like I didn't want to let go. Part of the appeal of this offering is the eclectic mix, not only of song styles and instrumentation but even in production particulars. Numbers veer from slick, crystal-clear digitally recorded tracks to performances that sound like glorified demos - a celebration of the lo-fi aesthetic that KR confesses to having a soft spot for. (It should then come as no surprise that one of the many respected industry pros consulted for the production end of this effort was none other than Guided By Voices producer Todd Tobias - credited as a pioneering architect of the Lo-Fi sound, championed by "Voices" front man Robert Pollard - and was thus rewarded with a co-producer credit as a result.) When queried about the changes in recording ambience for the album, Rowell further confesses that said changes weren't necessarily by choice - and exist for obvious reasons. "When I started on this I had a few studio recordings which explored my more acoustic side. I had some of these songs in my head since I was 17 years old but I never got them out because they didn't have that Baghdaddios-like feel to them. To me they sounded like I was doing Dylan or Johnny Cash or even The Beatles. It certainly wasn't punk. And I had only recorded them because I got a good deal on studio time and thought it would be fun to actually sing the tunes, rather than scream 'em. Along the same time I met a filmmaker who wanted to do a music video for my band - but this was right before we were leaving for England. Between preparing for the trip and playing last-minute shows we just didn't have the time to do a vid. I didn't want to lose the opportunity to work with this guy so I handed him a cassette copy of a 6-year-old acoustic demo that I had recorded in my apartment. We just decided to do a quick production for that as a sort of solo number - the video came out so well that I started to think about cleaning up the sound on the recording and maybe putting out a 6 or 7-song EP of original acoustic tunes. Then I found another old cassette of a song I had written and recorded when I was in high school and then another one from my college days and it sort of took off from there. I found it liberating because I had all these old songs that I would occasionally play for friends but since they were never formally released I didn't feel right springing them on some poor unsuspecting paying crowd. Well, when you have songs recorded on various systems, spread out over a 20 or 25-year period there are going to be a LOT of differences. Now try getting all that to sound like it all belongs on the same album. THAT'S why it took so damned long to finish it all off! Over the last 10 years Rowell estimates he stopped and restarted work on this project, in earnest, about a half-dozen times. "Each time we'd get close to releasing it I'd go back and listen to the whole thing on headphones and I'd go 'I can't release this uneven pile of crap' - I mean, some of the songs had all this "hiss" on them - others sounded muddy. There was one song that I absolutely loved - I've actually broken it out at some shows even though no one's ever heard it before. It was something I wrote when I was in college and it always reminded me of The Beatles Rubber Soul album." The only problem was that it was recorded on an old 4-track reel-to-reel machine, the original tape long since lost. The only existing copy of that recording was discovered on an old "normal bias" cassette in a pile of stuff in the corner of Rowell's parents' basement about 8 years ago. "The first studio guy I brought it to said that it was impossible to restore. He got me to re-record it on Pro-Tools and even though I played along with the tape through headphones and tried to make it sound as close to the original as possible, I hated it. The 'magic' or whatever it was, was missing. It took several years and several engineers working on it and it still wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be." Enter Michael Jung of Alice Donut fame. Kenn met Michael at a Baghdaddios show on the Lower East Side a few years ago and had stayed in touch via social media. It was he who suggested Kenn bring the track to him. There by the grace of Alice and the EQ gods goeth "When Will I Learn", the ninth song on the album. "No, it'll never be a testament to modern recording techniques but the hiss is gone, you can hear the vocals clearly and all the emotion of a 19-year-old in agony over being in love comes through loud and clear. I would have put the song on the album even if Michael hadn't cleaned it up so well - but now I don't feel like I have to apologize for it being there. It belongs with all the rest of them and I'm forever grateful for that!" The rest of the album runs the gamut from the pop-hooked "All About Me" with it's catchy 'me-me-me' refrain to "Henry", which strikes one as an homage to White Album-era Beatles. "Antonio", which laments the passing of an infant rides a lush four-stringed quartet to an emotional finish and "This Old Soul" is showcased in two different incarnations: one complete with banjo and fiddle accompaniment and sounding as upbeat as the second performance of the same song sounds melancholy, where Rowell adopts a lower register to purr the plaintive lyrics in a rendering very reminiscent of those famously Rick Rubin-produced Johnny Cash outings, toward the end of The Man In Black's life. It's only fitting that this second version was dubbed parenthetically as "Confessional". "Dreams" could easily pass as an Irish folk hymn and, yes kids, there's even the ol' proverbial hidden track which serves to remind us that Mr. Rowell - when all is said and done - is still, first and foremost, an unrepentant punk-rocker at heart. Having been released on April 27 - a date Rowell chose on purpose because it was his parents' wedding anniversary ("I'm a sentimental Dude, what can I say?") - the release is already garnering a good buzz amongst friends and fellow industry professionals. Many of the songs already have music videos done for them with more on the way. Sales have gone surprisingly well. With all this good will in evidence, the question was raised regarding any plans to tour. I was alittle surprised when Rowell didn't even miss a beat before flatly saying "No". "Nah, man - I mean, look, I'd love to but there's just so much on my plate right now - to be honest, I didn't even think of it. It had taken so long to get this done that my feeling today is 'get it out and move on'. In fact, at the end of last year I made a list of outstanding projects that I wanted to finish up and get 'out there'; this album was at the top of the list. I think I counted something like 23 of these individual projects. Besides finishing off a bunch of music videos for myself and The Baghdaddios I have enough full electric material already recorded for a Baghdaddios double album. I'm in the middle of recording 15 new band songs for release at the end of the year. There's a short film that I shot in 2014 which I seriously need to find the time to edit and get released. I have a collection of demos that I did for the band - all done on nylon string acoustic guitar - that I thought would make a great follow-up solo album (working title: "Nylon Raw") and we're celebrating Blank-Fest's 20th Anniversary show in December. In fact, I haven't even set a date for that yet and it's only 8 months away! I really need to promote this album but going out on the road is not really an option at present. Oh and then there's all the Yvonne stuff". The Yvonne that he is referring to is his "Mrs": celebrated Lower East Side bilingual poet Yvonne Sotomayor. Kenn has been playing music behind her spoken word pieces, recording and producing them - along with producing all her "poetry videos" ("Think: music video for spoken word, man!") since right after they got together in 2012. Having performed in 8 states, two countries and all throughout their native NYC, Ms. Sotomayor scored her biggest coup last summer when she appeared - with Kenn in tow - at the Iowa State Fair (on the same stage, later graced that night by Rock 'n Roll Hall of Famers Cheap Trick!). "Performing with Yvonne is yet another side of me that I love. We do everything together as it is - I've gotten her up to do 'her thang' at Baghdaddios shows all the time - so for us it's effortless. She has a six-piece EP coming out later this year and I keep telling her to get the book she's in the middle of putting together issued at the same time. We just bought a hand-held 16mm movie camera and we're dying to shoot her next video on film. Believe me, between recording with The Baghdaddios, Blank-Fest and the poetry shows, I barely have time to sleep, let alone do a solo tour!". For someone who's been in the business for as long as Rowell, he seems pretty unfazed by all the recent news. When asked about it, he seemed fairly resolved to maintain an even keel. "What would you say was a highlight of your career?" "When I got the email, informing me of my solo album's first sale." "What was the first thing you did when you found out?" "I kissed my wife and went to work." At this point we both noticed the video director pacing in the background. "Well, break time's over - we want to get this shoot done while we still have daylight", Rowell blurts out, signaling an end to Q & A time. Of course it was at that moment that it occurred to me that he had only given one reason for doing a solo album, as opposed to integrating these newly-released tunes as part of some future band compilation. When I reminded him of this, he smiled and left me with this parting bit of insight: "A few years back I was handing out blankets to the homeless on Christmas Eve. These were the same blankets that we collected at our annual Blank-Fest show.........a friend had picked them up at the venue and had brought them to a club in the Village where we would later meet up. When I stopped in the club's lobby to grab some blankets to take out in my rental car one of the bouncers grabbed me, like I was ripping the place off and said 'HEY, those blankets are from The Baghdaddios, for the homeless!'. It suddenly dawned on me that after almost 20 years of being in the middle of the whole Baghdaddios thing that I had done a piss-poor job of letting people know who I am. Look, it's insulting to the rest of the group to say that I'm the whole band. The Baghdaddios were and always will be a collective effort. I couldn't imagine doing those songs in the studio without either Neil (Richter) or Paul (Zlotucha) on the drums, or John (Sidoti) or Phil (McAughk) on bass. Their contributions were more covert but they shaped our sound just as surely as my songwriting and onstage histrionics did. So a solo album was a chance for me to step out and say 'No, THIS is all me'. Most of the songs are just myself on a guitar, doing a vocal. With many of them I overdubbed the harmonies and backing vocals. If I used a full band on any of them it was guys I grew up with or had known most of my life like my best friend from college, Paul on lead guitar or my cousin, Rye on drums. So, besides the styles being different than a straight-up, old-school punk band, it was more of a chance to say 'you know that guy you see screaming on stage? Well, he's got a few more surprises for you." And then he smiled one last time, made a quick jazz-hands gesture and howled "SURPRISE"! It was a good moment to leave. Just like a good, old-fashioned Baghdaddios show: once the music stops, it's pretty much been all said. For now. Website: http://www.baghdaddios.com Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn5Xfux1lnE
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