Behind the glorification of “work” and the tireless talk of the “blessings of work” I find the
same thought as behind the praise of impersonal activity for the public benefit: the fear of
everything individual. At bottom, one now feels when confronted with work -and what is
invariably meant is relentless industry from early till late- that such work is the best policy,
that it keeps everybody in harness and powerfully obstructs the development of reason, of covetousness, of the desire for independence. For it uses up a tremendous amount of nervous
energy and takes it away from reflection, brooding, dreaming, worry, love and hatred; it
always sets a small goal before one’s eyes and permits easy and regular satisfactions. In
that way a society in which the members continually work hard will have more security:
and security is now adored as the supreme goddess. And now- horrors!- it is precisely the
“worker” who has become dangerous. “Dangerous individuals are swarming all around”.
And behind them, the danger of dangers: the individual.
i look for you
in silent corners
in darkened rooms
through cracks
in ceiling tiles
in places where
no one smiles
I look for you
until I see
the mirrored face
of destiny
repeating what
I cannot say
my thoughts begin
to float away
I focus on
the thought of you
a child of God
before you grew
the only thing
that time has built
are crumbling palaces
of guilt
yet still
I await the dawn
I descended into the lowest depths, I searched to the bottom, I examined and pried into an old faith on which, for thousands of years, philosophers had built as upon a secure foundation. The old structures came tumbling down about me.
The Gates of Dawn by Herbert James Draper. Source: Wikipedia
Eos
AT THE close of every night, rosy-fingered, saffron-robed Eos, a daughter of the Titans Hyperion and Theia, rises from her couch in the east, mounts her chariot drawn by the horses Lampus and Phaethon, and rides to Olympus, where she announces the approach of her brother Helius. When Helius appears, she becomes Hemera, and accompanies him on his travels until, as Hemera, she announces their safe arrival on the western shores of Ocean. (Eos, The Greek Myths by Robert Graves pp 149-151).
Eos was the goddess of the Dawn and enjoys an amorous reputation. Her interest in young mortal men came about as a result of a curse laid on her by a jealous Aphrodite who once found her in the bed of her own lover, the god of war, Ares. From that moment Eos began to seek out and seduce young men, albeit shame-facedly and in secret. Eos had several mortal affairs, culminating in her abduction of the brothers Ganymedes and Tithonus. Zeus wanted Ganymedes for himself, but granted the pleas of a distraught Eos that Tithonus be made immortal and to live with her till the end of time. For many years the union was a happy one, but Eos had forgotten to ask Zeus to grant Tithonus perpetual youth as well as immortality, which meant in time the beautiful young man became older, greyer and more decrepit. Eventually Tithonus became so shrunken and shrivelled, squeaking away to himself in a shrill voice, that the disappointed Eos locked him away in her bedroom, where he eventually became a cicada.
The meaning is inconsequential to what it actually means to Buffy. "Death" - her death - it's not just a gift. It's a relief. She's realised that that line did not mean that she causes death. She IS that death.
She IS 'THE GIFT'. It's a relief in many ways for her. Not just in the suicidal/self-sacrificial way, which is valid. But also in the way of she got to decide when and where and how she died, and she got to have her personal vendetta out on the Watcher's Council by doing what they would instruct her to do but doing it in such a way where it would save her sister, save her family of Scoobies, and save the whole Universe all at the same time. She basically found the non-existent cheat code for the game system of Slayerdom and had not a hint of hesitation in using it.
And so to tie it all together... ironically by dying... she saved herself.
She didn't have a death wish.
She had a relief wish.
Because "Death" WAS her relief.
It's a multi-layered realisation. The realisation that she could sacrifice herself instead of Dawn. The realisation that she could save everyone and everything by giving up her life. And eventually the realisation it's what she wished for herself. It's absolutely genius writing!
So long as it was her choice,… it was her gift to Dawn, to the Scooby Gang and to the Universe... But most of all to herself. She won the game by dying in it her way.
I know I’m not the only one to have picked this up about the meaning of ‘The Dawn’. Just wait till Passion of the Nerd puts out his analysis on the episode. He’ll explain all of this way better than I ever could in his clever almost Alan Watts-ish way.
You're sitting in a bathroom covered in your own blood and refusing medical treatment.
Of course your groupmate is going to be freaked out.
(Especially if said groupmate has medical/illness trauma from their mother's death.)
Your lucky he hasn't dragged you to the hospital after watching you throw up blood. That's a sign of internal bleed or lung damage at the minimum.
(I understand that you weighed the costs benefits of your actions before it led to this decision but your groupmates genuinely want you to chill and not die.
All actions may be traced back to evaluations; all evaluations are either original or adopted — the latter being by far the most common. Why do we adopt them? From fear — that is, we consider it more advisable to pretend they are our own — and accustom ourselves to this pretense, so that at length it becomes our own nature.