#that would explain why he make goat noises more than pig noises

[brittie-frog]

Fear Street Part 3

here we go:

- we love her already joking about marriage and reasons she can't

- this rhyme feels like foreshadowing because he's not blind - why does it exist, how did it come about??

- already got Hannah and Sarah flirting in public and the town drunk being a creep

- we do love Solomon though (for now at least) - and my brain just put together that his past name is Goode as in Nick Goode

- 'drinks blood of virgins' already sounds like such a nice lady

- if you find a book in a witch's hut that just has a list of demon names you don't start reading them aloud - that's stupid at least read in your head and show us the page

- just instantly going parting as if you didn't just get a horrifying prophecy about the devil

- yes Sarah protect your girl, insult the man and fuck in the woods

- I do like the dynamic of Deena being outspoken and not hiding her sexuality but Sarah being the one to push Hannah away and say that it's wrong and they shouldn't

- demons interrupting their time in the woods and the damn dog interrupting her self-care time

- HALF SIX and most of the morning work is done - it's still dark out and why didn't you wake her when you first started chores??

- also the fact that Hannah went out of her way to find Sarah and take her back to her house just to find a prayer passage when she's not meant to see her anymore is... ballsy - especially cause her mum comes home soon after and throws Sarah out the door

- pigs are terrifying if you think about it and also the noises of it eating its children doesn't help

- Poor Merryboy, he was nice dog when he wasn't making terrifying noises at the door

- yay Solomon for being the only non-homophobe in Union - also is the secret the seeing a possible demon or that she's gay and it wasn't a 'dalliance'

- he even left the eyes in a neat pile for ease of cleaning

- the horrifying imagery of the children lined up outside the hall like in the second movie showing correlation between Sarah's life and the people she cursed

- why are they letting the town drunk speak at the meeting like he actually has authority on the situation??

- is he trying to victim blame in a situation that he ran from and didn't see the conclusion of??

- at least all the other kids look guilt and like they don't want this to happen or their terrified of the curse but i hope it's cause they don't want to see their two friends get hung

- it's a stealth mission - clearly visible in in the grass and isn't being silent, throw something and instead of the person being like 'something was through and looking around the area for where it came from, spends 10 minutes looking at the item thrown giving plenty of time to sneak by

- she really said 'fuck all of them I'm gonna make the curse real cause they're a bunch of homophobes'

- the widow is dead time for a new witch to come to town

- of course it's Solomon should have put that together when I realised his last name because of the theory

- yeah you want to sacrifice one person but they get possessed and kill upwards of like 15 people which is a much bigger price to pay

- did he seriously think that Sarah would turn her back on the entire town and the person he cursed killed her brother?!?!

- that's a much more disgusting way of getting your hand cut off and least it explains why it was down there while her body was a car ride away

- wait punishment for witchcraft is hanging but they never did anything to the widow??

- I've just realised I still have another hour to go

- confessing to protect Hannah because no one is going to believe her if she blames Solomon

- I like these guys being nice and giving her a proper burial

- I've also just realised it's the same actor who plays Solomon and Nick, I need to go through the Imdb to find out other crossover actors other than the obvious

- at least the theories are correct that it's the Goode family behind it all and I'm not disappointed by the reveal

- first Deena stole a cop's gun then a cop car, Deena really does say ACAB

- yeah its gonna get a whole lot worse and that is so disgusting

- I already love this plan but did they seriously tell him their going to kill the Sherrif and not why - granted he just jumped in the car so...

- is there really time for a motivational speech right now when there are shut tons of killer after you??

- so glad we get the lyric songs back cause I don't think I could last two hours of a hour film with just 17th century instrumental

- but it's so pretty with the bioluminescent writing and neon signs

- I was waiting for the plan to go to shit and they just go after anyone

- okay that was very fast paced - but how many times is deena gonna cut open her hands and uts a lot of blood so its gonna be deep - they were on different hands so is she just gonna have two scars, one on each now.

- I was gonna ask how they're back in the cave system but the tree is there so the mall was built on top of the camp grounds so theirs obviously an entrance

- time for round 2 - I swear if Josh or any of them die now.. I dont know what I'll do

- well done Sarah finally making the Goode family face their consequences and none of the main 6 died in this film

- why does he have so many goats?? And is no one going to question why two girls covered in dirt and blood are walking out of Nick Goode's house??

- I just had to pause and cackle so glad it turned into a comedy at the end as that truck hit and then the music started with 'baby...'

- Martin in a school parking lot selling things to minors - has no teacher come out to check what he's doing cause I think even in 1990's that would seem a little weird

- Everyone getting their happy ending - Josh meets another cute girl, Sam and Deena have a date at Sarah Fier's grave - you know the usual

- of course ends on a bad note of the book being stolen but that was funny cause no one picks up an ancient time like your stealing a book from a friend that their reading, that quickly

And that's the end and I loved it and I want to spent this weekend reqatching all of them now.

#fear street #that was amazing #and as stated before #not disappointed in the twist because it was so well done #when i rewatch them #im gonna pay close attention to Nick's dialogue because it showed clips from 1978 #and him being like maybe i dont want to be what people expect of me #or some shit #but he still does #but that moment of guilt(?) was nice #wish he would have stuck with it and not sacrificed people but #at least hes probs dead now

[miniwolfsbane]

Sweet Tooth S1 thoughts (BIG SPOILERS)

First off, I am disappointed we were shown a PURRING PUPPY BABY in the trailer and had 0 follow up with it? Did he/she escape to Istanbul with it’s parents? Get captured? Live a nomadic life? Live in the forest? I WANT ANSWERS!! :( Also, puppies don’t purr, so I want answers to that too. Unless they were trying to go for a whimper or an animal noise and just went with that instead.

BIG SPOILERS under the cut

Anyway, the only two things, aside from the bits of gore and violence (Reviews are all like “IT’S A FAMILY SHOW!” And I counter back with “I would not let any child under 13 watch this and I have never seen a family show with three seconds of guts being removed and two scenes of implied, live vivisecting on sentient beings without anesthetic.”), the only things I didn’t like about this were using 2 overused cliche’s. One being the hero hanging off a bridge for what seems like 12 years above peril, and the other I can’t remember. It was Jeppard nearly missing the train. The only thing that saved it was the flashback.

The other thing was that, while dark, there’s a bit of predictably and not much depth to the story. I realized last night that the comic source material my have the depth I’m craving out of the story. Just because it has child actors doesn’t mean the story can’t be dug into deeper and have more meaning. I applaud them for what they did and how they handled it, mixing in human-ish vivisecting with neighbors burning down their friends houses and being murderous hypocrites into a story about children, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more.  Edit: Not more violence, obviously, just more to the story. dig into the universe, hard. Like gardening, just shove both metaphorical hands into that story soil and root around in it. Find all the gems that are the interesting parts of this universe and answer our questions. 

Sadly, I see someone on tumblr called it...something. Like, were we even watching the same show?? A multi-racial cast that gives all it’s characters dignity isn’t...that.

Bobby isn’t creepy to most and not shown that much. If you really think Bobby is that creepy, you need to go see original Bobby and get back to me. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=mv4YBZHa&id=071BD6BDAA183CA5965247E7F8F68E873375399B&thid=OIP.mv4YBZHau8dTzxGoK0L0ggHaHD&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fmarvel_dc%2Fimages%2Ff%2Ffc%2FBobby_Sweet_Tooth_001.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20150813115735&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR9afe180591dabbc753cf11a82b42f482%3Frik%3Dmzl1M4eO9vjnRw&pid=ImgRaw&exph=616&expw=647&q=sweet+tooth+comics+bobby&simid=608026455638091252&ck=7A4DBACCF6BFE43E3B1E799F7F88C55A&selectedindex=0&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=3fb5000d-4d63-494a-986d-006fedeb28d5&shtk=Qm9iYnkgKFN3ZWV0IFRvb3RoKSB8IERDIERhdGFiYXNlIHwgRmFuZG9t&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIGRjLmZhbmRvbS5jb20%3D&shhk=NjRWN4Jv1KDrxu8T30I3UN0IQ71oVtCAEnsLIeSmFl4%3D&form=EX0023&shth=OSH.nyb0RMh%252Bnm%252B%252B%252FIH1cnkhHw

Okay, kid does sorta look like a gremlin mixed with a Furby in the show, like one post said, but I’ve seen worse. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=F9mlBjUo&id=49C0257935E4A941563E579C7E9DCF48B72BEC01&thid=OIF.eyTVbAuEqt0R%2bKFmrIK4gA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fepipoca.com.br%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2021%2f06%2fE3NUK2kVoAE5Ct_.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR17d9a5063528805f1ade0ea77464df86%3frik%3d%26pid%3dImgRaw&exph=675&expw=1482&q=sweet+tooth++Bobby&simid=297111136187&ck=7B24D56C0B84AADD11F8A166AC82B880&selectedIndex=49&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&ajaxserp=0

Sometimes stuff goes over my head. I had no idea that the babies were being born and not made in a lab. When they showed them in the maternity ward, I genuinely thought they had been experimented on and didn’t come out of the womb like that. Apparently I missed that it was a maternity ward in a hospital. That’s my other problem with this show I forgot to mention: It defies logic and you really have to turn off your brain to accept the hybrid concept. I’m guessing the virus or other means (possibly according to the comics, I tried to avoid big spoilers), mutated them in utero. That still doesn’t satisfy me. Thankfully, Gus was somehow lab created, so that helps. (More information and context would be appreciated. Was it, like, they were experimenting with in-vitro or what?) Edit: This article https://screenrant.com/sweet-tooth-theory-purple-flowers-cure-sick-virus/ explains that putting the virus in a chicken egg produced Gus. Which makes even less sense. Edit: This MAY or MAY NOT be right. Someone on YT pointed out they never said this in the show.

 IRL, Virus + chicken embryo=would never randomly produce a human/deer hybrid baby. It’s so freaking random it sounds like nonsense or the delusions of a madman, not a rational comic book author with a presumably sane mind. Just...I’ve said it before...things have to make sense, even in fiction. 5 step process of anything cannot equal random result. It goes against all science, right? And made up worlds have to have rules, even silly worlds. Like I said, you have to turn your brain off, but this stretches even my disbelief. Hybrids, I get, fine, but that? I’m sorry, what? *headdesk* I don’t know, maybe the comics had something I’m missing since I never read them.

I’m eager to learn the connection to the kids and the virus as we go. And if we don’t get a season 2, I’ll be getting the comics to satisfy my thirst for this show.

Gus is my baby and I don’t understand how a kid could be that cute. Jeppard is the GOAT (lol) Bear could use better line delivery at times, but her acting will improve I’m sure. Nice to see Diana Ramierez acting again, her character is likeable. Wendy is cute, but kinda just there for me. Needs more traits or character development to get on my favorite characters list. Bear also needs more than just backstory and a tough girl persona. She’s not bland, she just needs more spark to her as a character. More personality, if that makes sense. 

Lastly, I wanted a tiny bit more from the make-up department. Wendy and rabbit kids (yes, I took note of this detail and I love bunnies) make-up is on point, but the rest look like kids dressed up in dollar store feathers and fur for a school play. Get more creative if you’re gonna show these hybrids, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You have the budget!! (But I think most of that went to Bobby’s puppetry/CGI and Jeppard’s baby, to be honest.)

I wanted a cat girl or boy, because the lulz for the anime community (Also, because I have 2 cats and stuff), but at least we got bird kids, even if they weren’t cockatiels like mine. I’m ready for Season 2, hurry Netflix!!

I can see why people wouldn’t like this show or wouldn’t recommend watching it, but I see many have embraced it. It’s either you’re thing or it’s not, but you should give it a chance and see. Just don’t shoot it down if you hate it, there’s enough wet blankets out there and we all have different tastes.

Edit: One last thing. I do have a problem with hybrids being half-human. Like, you would think that being half-human, they’d still have all the problems humans have with causing wars and all. I know it’s a dark story with a good outcome, but there’s something too saccharine about hybrids having “The best parts of us.” What exactly are those best parts? Last I checked, humans are selfish and vain at their core. Even the most altruistic, giving person can be greedy about something or want more. It’s like Genie said in the new Aladdin, “You can have all the money and power in the world and it still won’t be enough”.  Wouldn’t bird people and pig people and deer people all want to side with each other instead of living in some grand utopia? Fighting over land and resources? Portraying hybrids as taking over the earth after people are gone from extinction and everything going peachy doesn’t quite work for me. Not that I’d want it to still be dark, but, eh, they’d have to have SOME problems, wouldn’t they?

#Sweet Tooth Netflix #Gus #Jeppard #hybrids #Sweet Tooth spoilers

[ladyhallen]

Never Count the Cost

Read on AO3| FFN

It was hopeless.

The Death Eaters numbers weren’t going down. And maybe they were, but not visibly, not enough. Kill one Death Eater, and five more would take their place.

Hermione had given people new, more destructive spells and Ron’s strategies were getting more and more geared towards mass destruction. But it wasn’t good enough.

It shot down morale and everyone was getting desperate.

Harry was getting desperate.

She’d asked Kreacher, which was the start of a series of bad decisions.

Kreacher knew the Black Library better than anyone, and gave Harry a book bound in questionable leather.

Harry took one look at the book, and felt her skin crawl. She decided not to ask the house-elf questions.

“Thank you, Kreacher,” she said.

She read the book when it was supposed to be her turn to be sleeping, and lost her appetite at the horrifying and terrible rituals that the book had. She was pale and unhappy reading the rituals.

Still she found one. One ritual among hundreds that suited her purpose. A ritual to “Summone a Moste Powerful and Chaotic Monstere.”

Harry read it dozens of times, memorized the words and knew the sacrifice.

Desperation and bad decisions led her to the forest with a stone floor. She had left a note with Dean, hopefully, it would stall her friends.

Her hands remained determinedly steady even as she carved the damned sigils on the floor with an enchanted knife. Her hand slipped at one point and bloodied the runes on the floor. She paid it no mind, bandaging her hand and continuing again. She didn’t dare use magic until the ritual was complete and she broke the circle. She endured her throbbing hand and at one point forgot about it, she was so focused on getting it right.

She took a deep breath and started the chant, just as Hermione and Ron sprinted into the clearing.

But Harriet had already started, the words coming out of her mouth frosty and hot in turns, some words tumbling out as heavy as a boulder, others coming out quickly and speedily like an eel.

Ron stopped Hermione, more aware than her about the dangers of interrupting a ritual.

“…in sumptus vitae meae,” she finished with a shout, slamming her hands on the sigils firmly, smearing it with blood. At one point, she had started to bleed from her injured hands.

“Harry, no!” Hermione screamed, held back by Ron’s hands on her shoulders. Of course, her friend could understand the Latin.

Smoke started rising from the blood and sigils, and from that smoke, something with tall with horns emerged.

Harry would be panicking, except she had gone so far from panic that she’d circled around to glassy calm. She’d be hyperventilating later.

If there was a later.

“At the cost of your life, huh,” a lovely, deep voice said inside the circle. “That’s a very interesting payment.”

The smoke cleared, and standing inside the circle was a man. Or as close to a man as a demon could get. His horns were long and curled back, the points curling at the tips and shining a dull red. His eyes shone yellow and his teeth were very sharp. His feet were cloven hooves and covered in shaggy fur, with a tail that flicked as he stood.

And his face. Harry instinctively shied away from looking at his too perfect, too beautiful face.

“Whatever is your trouble, lovely summoner?” the demon asked.

“Me and my people are at war,” she said, as boldly as she could manage. “And I am willing to pay anything for you to help us win.”

The demons beautiful face started to smile, a slash of a terrible smile on an otherwise inhumanly beautiful face.

“Break the circle, dear one. And I will seal the contract with you. You’ve already given me such lovely blood,” he whispered, a hypnotic ring in his voice.

Harry found herself moving despite Hermione and Ron’s shouts in her ears. She broke the circle with the knife still in her hand and the demon stepped out.

As he did, there was a ripple in the world like an invisible curtain, and the goats feet, horns and tail vanished. In his place was a man.

Still beautiful, but no longer inhumanly so. Enough of a change that she could look at his face without feeling that otherworldly aura.

“I am a chaos demon,” he declared. “And we seal these things with a kiss.”

The glassy calm broke, and Harry managed to squeak out, “What?” before the demons lips were on hers and she was consumed by the best kiss she’d ever had, all heat and passion.

After a minute, he pulled away and smiled at her dazed face.

“Stay here, my bride,” he said.

Harry crumpled to the forest floor and her best friends rushed to her, holding her hands and touching her shoulders. Hermione looked seconds away from crying. Ron looked like he wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap.

“He just called me bride,” Harry managed weakly. “What just happened?”

Ron gave a tired huff into her neck, hugging her almost desperately.

Hermione gave an exhausted sigh.

“Harry,” she began slowly. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think a chaos demon just propositioned you.”

When Harry whined pathetically, Ron started to give little huffs of hysterical laughter.

.

.

The three of them staggered into Hogwarts, holding onto each other for support as well as comfort.

For Harry, she needed the help. The ritual took almost all of her magic. If she were a weaker witch, she would be dead.

“Ms. Potter,” Professor McGonagall said grimly. “Something has changed the battlefield.”

They looked into Hermione’s Seeing Mirrors, and Harry tried not to cringe at the sight of the stylishly dressed demon just. Walking and causing immense destruction with just a gesture.

It was one thing to know you’d summoned a monster, and another thing to see said monster in action.

“Oops,” she managed. “I guess he was more effective than I thought.”

That caught everyone’s attention.

“You did this? At what cost, Harry?” Neville asked.

Harry gave a wan smile, and he inhaled in understanding. Before he could open his mouth, the chaos demon came strolling back, hands in its pockets and a very cheery smile on its mouth.

“My bride,” he said. “I have killed all the leaders and destroyed their souls and happiness. I will, of course, wait for a week to see if they reform. After that, we will marry.”

“Ex-cuse me what?” Seamus said loudly. The noise of a couple hundred students causing chaos was defeaning.

The demon picked her up like she weighed like nothing and carried her off.

.

.

Harry thought the demon would eat her soul. Or even just eat her, she hadn’t thought demons were picky about corporeality.

Nowhere does cuddling factor into it. Or hand feeding her grapes while making encouraging noises. Somehow, her fear just…went away when he was holding fruit to her mouth.

“You are too skinny,” he said, looking at her critically. “You must eat more.”

Uhm, no? They were at war…had been at war. Rationing was a thing. Still a thing while they solve the food issue because the first thing the Death Eaters had targeted were the Hogwarts Farms.

“If I eat more,” she explained to the demon currently holding her in his lap. “Then the children will eat less.”

He pouted. “And these….children…are important to you?” At her nod, he added, “then I will get you more food.”

He vanished for an hour, and returned with an entire freaking passel of pigs. Harry felt her mouth drop open.

“You will eat more?” he asked, like he hadn’t just solved their food problems for the next few weeks. If the keep some female alive and one or two boars, they can even keep some pigs for livestock and feed the entire school for years.

“Sure,” she said weakly. “I’ll eat.”

He looked so immeasurably smug that she wanted to hit him.

.

.

Outside the repaired grassy knoll beside the Great Lake, Harry enjoyed the rare sunshine and the lovely view of the lake.

Well. She tried to.

“Harry,” Hermione whispered. “Can I see the ritual you used?”

Harry had no qualms about that. Just. There was a chaos demon sleeping on her legs and she couldn’t move, or make much noise.

“Ask Kreacher,” she whispered back. “I don’t think I’m moving anytime soon.”

The chaos demon, who still hadn’t given his name – that was bothering her, hugged her thighs tighter, his face on her stomach. Harry oofed, leaning back to be more comfortable.

“Get me a book?” she asked her friend. “I’m stuck.”

Hermione looked bemused and handed over The Hobbit.

Harry, who actually hadn’t read the book yet, found herself combing her fingers through the demon’s hair as she read. Eventually, the heat of the sun and the cool wind combined with the firm weight on her stomach made her fall asleep, the book falling on her face.

Unseen to her, the demon’s tail flicked with pleasure.

.

.

A week filled with trials and burials later, she finally broke.

“What’s your name?” she asked. Hermione, opposite her in the sofa, crossed her arms frantically. Well, too bad for her, but Harry was tired of these unsaid things.

“It’s Reborn,” he rumbled. “And you are Harriet.”

Something about the way he said her name made her shiver.

“Yeah,” she said. “Why didn’t you eat my soul?”

He slow blinked at her. “That was not what you offered. You offered me your life. Not your death, or your soul, or even your blood and bone. Just your life. Obviously, in order for me to partake of your life, you have to be alive.”

“You are…feeding off me?” she asked.

“No,” he huffed. “I am experiencing it with you.”

Ron choked. “Isn’t that just marriage?” he coughed. His face was red. Harry’s own face was steadily going red.

The de – Reborn nodded. “I know! It surprised everyone too. It was so forward.”

Harry covered her beet red face and groaned.

.

.

Reborn had to leave on some business. According to him, paperwork originated in hell and it was needlessly complicated. If he delayed further to log his contract with her, he’d have to fill out an extra fifty forms.

He kissed her very thorougly, rendering her stupid for a minute, before leaving.

Hermione then pounced, explaining what went wrong. Thank Merlin for Hermione, the lack of explanation reason was driving her crazy.

“You read it wrong,” she said. “And a good thing you did. Though how on earth you read ‘animae’ as ‘vitae’, I wonder. It saved your life.”

Harry blinked at the horrific ritual book and sighed. “I was reading it sleep deprived and at one point, I think I was starting to hallucinate?”

“You and your luck, Harry,” Hermione said. “And did I scold you yet for summoning a chaos demon?”

Harry felt her everything tense up. “…No,” she cringed.

She prepared for a lecture mostly done in yelling. She was braced for it.

Except Hermione hugged her tightly instead. “Thank you,” her dearest friend whispered.

Harry felt unintentionally teary. “For you and Ron? I would do it again,” she said into the bushy mane.

They both took a moment to compose themselves.

“So,” Hermione said in that tone that by long association, made Harry feel dread. Hermione only ever used that voice when she was being a little shit. “The chaos demon didn’t proposition you. You propositioned him first.”

“Oh my god,” Harry groaned. “You’re never gonna let this go, are you?”

She gave Harry such a look of mischief. “Never. I thought you were going to die, Harriet Potter. I’m going to say this to your wedding, and to all your birthdays.”

Thank Merlin that she was still alive to have birthdays.

She complained to Hermione just for the spirit of it, but was just as glad.

#fanfiction #hp #harry potter #reborn #khr #hpxkhr #genderbend #crossover #female harry potter #hermione granger #ronald weasley #hpxreborn #demon reborn #demonic summonings

[cherrypieships]

the amusement park: chapter two

A/N: whew omg it’s been a while since I posted! Anyway I’m back and better than ever with part two, the finale of the amusement park!! This chapter includes a trigger warning for fake blood and cult mentions. It's a haunted house, so it isn't a real cult, but I'd rather be safe than sorry <3

Ship: davey jacobs x pepper simmons (s/i), featuring my best friend V and my gf Khourey and their respective f/os, race higgins and jack kelly!

Summary: When the sun sets on Canobie Lake park, the amusement park turns into a Halloween extravaganza, where Pepper and Davey find themselves paired up once more.

Once the sun had dipped onto the horizon, the last dregs of color fading from the sky as the stars came out, the group found themselves heading towards the sides of the park, where the haunted houses were set up. Mickey looped their arm through Pepper’s, pulling her close and pointing out the performers walking past; a clown with a chainsaw, a long-haired girl in a tattered hospital gown, a man wearing a pig’s head as a mask.

“So they basically walk around the park and try to scare people.” She explained, and nudged V so they could listen in as well. “But little kids sometimes wear these little glow-y ball necklaces, see? And the performers can’t scare them.” She pointed out a pair of kids walking past, both of their t-shirts illuminated by spiked plastic spheres attached to long black cords. Sure enough, the actors walked right past them.

Vi pushed their bottom lip out, turning towards Mickey. “That’s so fucking cute.” They cried.

Pepper smiled. It was pretty cute, and a good idea on the park’s part. “Do they wear them into the houses?” She asked curiously.

“I fuckin’ hope not.” Jack scoffed. “I wanna get scared, I’m not here to miss a good haunted house cause of some kid.” He smiled when Mickey swatted him. “What? It’s true!”

Mickey’s eyes rolled. “Yeah, but don’t be a dick about it.” They chastised, going to swat him again, and as their hand made contact, Jack snatched it and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Averting her gaze, Pepper felt something cold swirl in the pit of her stomach at the casual intimacy. She focused on the gum wrapper on the ground beside her shoe instead of whatever that feeling was.

V’s knuckles rapped against Pepper’s forearm, a gentle knock for her attention. “Hey, I gotta hit the bathroom, you wanna be my buddy?” They asked, though the raise of their eyebrows gave the impression that the question was simply a formality; there was no option.

Making the journey to the restrooms a short one, Vi didn’t even pretend they had to pee, instead moving to stand in front of the mirror and check their eyeliner. “So are you gonna make a move tonight?” They asked, voice quieter than usual.

Pepper sighed, of course this was the reason she was in here. “Dude, I don’t fuckin’ know.” She said, exasperation travelling across her features at even the thought of confessing her feelings. She’d talked a big game about it before, about how she loved Davey, about how she’d confess her feelings for him the second she got the idea he liked her back, but truthfully she was… well, she was scared.

Vi barely looked up from the mirror, but their expression softened. “Obviously you don’t have to,” they reassured. “But I bet that if you don’t at least ask how he feels he’ll never tell.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “That’s because there’s-“

The door to the bathroom flew open and Mickey blustered inside, annoyance clear on their face. “Okay, how dare you two leave me alone with those idiots.”

V grimaced. “Oh shit, sorry. I just wanted a minute to see what was up with Pepper and Davey.”

Mickey’s lips pursed, eyebrows raising onto her forehead. “Oh shit okay what’s the deal?” They asked, moving closer.

Against her better judgement, Pepper leaned her head against the bathroom wall. “There’s nothing to tell! I don’t have any plans to tell him, and there’s no way someone who talks as much as Davey would have a crush on someone and not say something.” She looked pointedly at her best friends.

“That… is an excellent point.” Mickey acquiesced.

Vi lifted a finger. “Or! Maybe that’s the way you can tell that he does like you.” They moved toward the sink to wash the eyeliner remnants from under their fingernails.

“What?”

Mickey nodded. “Oh, no, I totally get it.”

“Get what? What are you talking about?”

V smiled, turning to put their damp hands on Pepper’s shoulders. “You just said Davey never shuts up.” Pepper nodded slowly. “He’ll talk to you about anything, right?” Another nod.

“But he never talks about what’s up between the two of you.” Mickey finished. “Literally, even if Jack asks, he brushes him off.”

Brow furrowed, Pepper turned back to Vi, who was grinning. “If you don’t ask, he’ll never tell.” They clarified, an echo of their earlier statement. “Don’t fucking focus on what he says, bitch, you have to ask about what he’s not saying.”

Terrifyingly, that made it click. Something welled up hot and thick in Pepper’s throat, hope or fear she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, she wasn’t budging at her friends’ optimism. “You two are reading too far into this.” She countered weakly.

Mickey grabbed her hand, squeezed it a few times. “Listen, we’re not pressuring you.” They explained, and Violet hummed in agreement. “You don’t have to ask him anything or tell him anything, if you just wanna vibe tonight, that’s totally cool.”

Just like that, the tension melted from Pepper’s body, her psyche apparently pleased at being left alone for the moment. She looked between her friends, Vi’s warm smile and Mickey’s kind eyes, took a deep breath, and went back out into the park.

Back where the boys were waiting, the curtain to the first haunted house had lifted, and the line began to move. Jack waved them down with a smile, and they gapped into the line. He pulled the park pamphlet from his back pocket and flipped to the back, where the haunted house attractions were listed. “Okay so we started next to the big spinn-y thing. Which is… the cult one, The Culling.” He announced.

“Yeah, Jack.” Race deadpanned. “It’s on the sign.” He pointed above the line, which, sure enough, boasted the name of the site.

Jack swatted his friend with the pamphlet before tucking it into his back pocket. “I knew that.” He grinned, throwing an arm around Mickey’s shoulders and pulling them closer.

Davey nudged Pepper’s side. “Partners?” He smiled, offering his elbow as their group stepped up to the banister blocking off the entryway.

She ignored the wink that Vi threw at her, and looped her arm through Davey’s with a blush and a simper. “Hope we don’t die in there.” She mused.

He patted the hand she’d placed on his bicep, warm in contrast to her poorly-circulated own ones. “If we do, we’ll die doing what we loved.”

Her head tilted. “What’s that?”

“Kicking and screaming.”

Pepper crumpled into a fit of laughs as the employee lifted the bannister. “Have fun.” The woman at the entryway smiled, her eyebrows raising mischievously.

Race and V went first, obviously, Race throwing his arm across their shoulders and pulling them close. Mickey and Jack went next, Jack’s hand curled protectively into the back of her shirt as they ducked through the curtain. A billow of dry-ice smoke kicked out at her and Davey as she gripped his arm tighter, moving through the curtain and into a room flooded with red light.

There was a man in the corner, a pair of bloodied goat horns protruding from his head, who growled lowly at them as they walked past. Davey cast a look in his direction, following in the footsteps of his friends, and they heard Race scream further up ahead. Pepper laughed a little at that, the adrenaline beginning to swirl hot in her veins.

The next room was full of actors, at least a dozen kneeling frozen in mock prayer, and the woman to Pepper’s right let out a broken wail, making her jump. Davey’s hand came to grab hers again, this time his fingers tangling with hers. He was laughing gently at her fright, something that might have pissed her off if it had been anyone else.

They passed through a hallway full of strobelights and white walls painted with bloody handprints, the thrum of electricity the only noise for a moment, and Pepper opened her mouth to ask when the Cult Stuff would start, when a man wearing a decaying goat’s skull for a mask barrelled around the corner, making both her and Davey scream.

She curled into his side, awkwardly stepping on his shoe as she did, and watched the man with enormous eyes as he tilted his mask curiously at them. Davey laughed a little, and whether he was trying to laugh off his fright or genuinely enjoying himself, Pepper couldn’t tell.

They rounded the corner, careful of the actor who’d popped out at them, and turned into a room seemingly devoid of anyone, except for Mickey and Jack, who were giggling as they shuffled into the next room. The walls were tall and painted white, a hidden projector playing a black and white video reminiscent of those old war propaganda commercials. It was too loud for Pepper to hear anything properly, but she could catch snippets of the voiceover, “Join us in… the great and powerful… be afraid…” as the video flicked between church services, goats on farms, hypnotic black and white spirals.

Davey tilted his head at the screen. “Christians, am I right?”

Swallowing a laugh, she jutted her elbow into his side. “This is not the time, David.” She snorted, coyly tugging him closer by the anchor his hands provided. Fuck it, why not get close to him while she had the chance?

The end was in sight, she could see the cool blue light of the outdoors pouring in from the other side of the final room; one that was lined with pews, with a goat-headed preacher at the front, holding a black leather-bound book and screaming about the end of days. The church (cult?) -goers were in various stages of worship, some with their arms in the air, some reading their scripture, some sobbing towards the sky. A shudder ran through Davey, one so intense that she felt it in her own skin, and she wondered, briefly, what was so freaky about this particular scene that he-

SLAM

The actor in the pew she’d just passed closed his book with a deafening bang. She jumped, screamed so loud it felt like the sound had been ripped from her teeth, and didn’t realize she was shaking until Davey’s arm encircled her, speeding past the latter half of the room and out of the first haunted house.

Pepper swallowed a mouthful of fresh air, held it for a few seconds, and released it with a pleased laugh. She turned her face up to Davey’s, ready to ask him if his heart was racing the way hers was, when he cut her off, gripping her shoulders like she’d disappear. “Are you okay?” He demanded.

Her eyebrows pinched together, her smile melting at the way his eyes were blown wide. “Yeah? I-I’m fine?” She said, reaching up to grip his wrists. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

Every hint of expression faded from his face. The fire left his eyes, his hold on her softening, his jaw and browline going slack at the realization. “Yeah, I… I thought he-”

Race’s hands landed on either one of their shoulders. “Hey, Jack wants to know if you guys wanna do the hotel one or the factory one next, we’re at a tie.”

Pepper turned to him, blinking back the heat in her cheeks. “Oh fuck, okay, we’ll be right there.”

There were four more haunted houses, each of them with a bit of walking distance between them. Davey didn’t release her hand until they’d cleared the last attraction.

---

Still reeling from the adrenaline rush of the haunted houses, the group made their way toward the back of the park where the Ferris Wheel resided. Violet and Race were skipping down the lanes, their laughter fluttering in the cool autumn wind. Mickey and Jack were walking in front of them, their pinkies linked as they recounted their haunted house experiences.

Pepper tried to ignore that Davey was still so close to her.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

“Which one was your favorite?” He asked, the back of his hand brushing against Pepper’s as they walked. He was looking down at her, nose all rosy and cheeks flushed. He wore autumn so well.

She pursed her lips as she thought. “The cult one.” She settled after a moment.

Davey grinned. “Mine too. Or the hotel was really good.” He turned to her once they reached the line for the ferris wheel. “Y’know, when that guy back there slammed his bible closed I thought he hit you.” His fingers twitched, like he was waiting to reach for something.

There it was. The reason for his earlier freakout.

Laughing lightly, Pepper shook her head, curls falling in her face as she tried to dispel any of his remaining worry. “Oh God, no. Isn’t that illegal, anyway?” She focused on the ferris wheel ahead of them, the eighty feet of blinking lights and rocky baskets that they’d be shoved into; anything besides the bewildering look that was back on Davey’s face. Ahead of them, their friends were being ushered into passenger cars. Jack planted a kiss to the side of Mickey’s head and whispered something into their ear that made them grin.

Pepper tried not to be jealous, and failed.

Beside her, Davey was rambling again. She tuned in right in the middle of his spiel. “It’s some kinda torture house, basically. They just wail on you for like ten hours, and they film it, too. You have to sign a waiver and everything, and it’s like, forty pages or something. I watched a video of this one girl who went there and she said-”

“You two all set?” The ride operator asked, her smile bright as she cut into Davey’s rambling.

He blinked, like he hadn’t realized how close they were. “Oh, um. Yeah, I guess we are.” He resolved.

They clambered into the rocky car and belted themselves in, waited for the attendant to lock their door, and began their ascent.

Immediately, Pepper felt the wind chill. “Holy fuck, it’s freezing up here.” She barked. Davey’s cardigan was warm, sure, but the cold air cut through it like a knife.

Davey turned to her and readjusted the way he was sitting, opening up his arms. “I know, c’mere.” He wiggled his fingers and everything and, well, how was he supposed to say no to that?

She scooted closer until her leg was pressed right up against his, and her upper body curled into him. They’d done this before, a million times, when watching movies or at parties when it got crowded, or when she asked him to read to her, and Davey, ever the wonderful companion, never complained-

Oh.

Oh, no.

That was what her friends meant.

Davey’s arms wrapped around her tight. Without thinking, her arm did the same. “Better?” He asked, pulling back to look down at her.

Pepper smiled with her heart in her throat. “Always.” She said, and looked up at him.

And there he was. The same Davey as always, with his pale skin and round hazel eyes, now grinning down at her like she had hung all the stars in the sky just for him. Here he was, and he was so close that their noses were almost touching. Not correcting strangers who thought they were dating. Holding her hand and giving her his clothes and sharing drinks with her. Here he was- and she was confused.

His mouth twitched, the way it always did when he was worried. “You okay, Pep?” He asked, quieter now.

A slow nod. “Yeah… just, um, thinking.” She responded. He opened his mouth, eager to ask more, but she cut him off. “About us.” She said, feeling bold now.

Davey’s eyebrows just about skyrocketed off his face. “Us.”

“Yeah.” Pepper’s hands were shaking, but she didn’t think she could stand another minute of this. All of her affections bottled up like a powder keg while he played with them so nonchalantly. “Davey, what are we?” She hoped the question didn’t come out as raw as it felt, but she could almost taste the blood on her tongue.

“Oh.” His shoulders dropped, and he looked away. His arms didn’t move from around her, but his eyes were flicking back and forth. “We’re… you’re… m-my best friend and...” He scrunched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend and... I’m so stupidly in love with you.”

Pepper sat up as the Ferris wheel stopped. They were at the top now.

“I know that’s a lot to throw at you, I’m sorry, but all day I’ve just been thinking about you and about how much it feels like you’re this missing piece of me, you know? Like every time I need someone you’re there, and every time I talk about you to anyone I get this big grin on my face. And then earlier when that lady said what she said, it just felt so right.” He’d been gesturing wildly with his hands until she grabbed them.

She pulled his hands into her lap, encasing them with her own cold ones. “Davey.”

He sighed with a wry smile. “You can tell me no, Pep, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Davey.” She tried again.

“And it’s not gonna ruin anything, I promise. I love you but that’s not gonna make me turn into an asshole, I still care about you as a friend.”

“David.” She grabbed the sides of his face in her cold hands. His jaw was tense. “I love you.” She said, plainly, the way you would state any other fact. The sky was blue, the Earth was round, and Pepper Simmons loved Davey Jacobs.

And for once, Davey- sweet, lovely Davey- didn’t start talking about love, or about basic heteronormativity, or fucking haunted houses. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Any great novelist, or even just your average writer, always compared a great kiss to fireworks. But this, Pepper thought, was better than any fireworks she’d ever seen. It was coming home after a long night. It was sitting by a fire on a cold winter day. It was years of sharing beds and writing texts in secret languages, of sitting at each other’s family dinners, of shared secrets and pinkie promises, playful teasing and pathetic yearning, all wrapped up in a soft press of lip to lip. It was Davey. Of course it was. In retrospect, nobody else had ever stood a chance.

Pepper was giggling when she pulled away from his lips. “I love you.” She repeated.

The lights of the amusement park were glittering in his eyes. “And I love you.” He was beaming, their foreheads tipped together. Then he started laughing, soft and slow and bubbly, as though he were savoring it. “Oy, we’re so ridiculous.” He said as the ferris wheel began to turn again.

She could’ve stayed there for days, looking at each of the freckles on his face like little star clusters in her vision. If there were ever a photo she could keep framed on the walls of her memory, it would be this; his smile, the ivory skin around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. She was laughing too. “Yeah, we are.” Her head leaned against his shoulder, a sigh escaping before she could stop it. “How long?”

There was a beat, and she knew Davey was thinking. “Um, four years maybe? It was the summer before junior year of high school, I know that much.” The thumb of his right hand, still around her, began rubbing at her shoulder.

Pepper sat upright, aghast. “Oh my God, you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.” He grinned.

“Holy fuck.” She snorted. “We could’ve been doing this for years!”

Davey poked her side, making her laugh in turn. “How about you?” There was the look in his eyes again, and this time she recognized it. Dreamy, warm, a little vulnerable.

“Senior Prom. Remember we slow danced together?”

The ferris wheel stopped again, this time with them at the back. “Yeah, holy shit. I was so nervous that night.” Pepper laughed, head tossed back. “I’m serious! I was so sweaty, I’m surprised you didn’t comment on it.”

“Your hands were like holding clams.” Another poke, this one less playful. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. We’re here now.”

A kiss landed on her cheek, warm in stark contrast to the biting cold. “I can’t believe this.” He was laughing. “I can’t believe you liked me back.” He said.

Pepper nuzzled her nose into his neck. “I know. I can’t either.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, looked up at him and sighed.

He turned back to her. “You know they’re not gonna leave us alone, right?” He asked, tilting his chin towards the baskets below them that held their friends.

“I’m aware,” she mumbled. “I mean, they did call it.”

His lips curled up into a wry smile. “I know they did.” His fingers found the long strands of her hair, wrapped themselves in them. “Race and V haven’t left me alone about you for like, two years straight.” He shrugged. “And oh my God, if I have to hear Sarah and Les talk about it one more time I’m gonna explode.”

Pepper’s jaw dropped. “Sarah and Les were teasing you?”

He scoffed gently. “Are you kidding? They tell me to shut up every time I talk about how pretty you are.” And yeah, maybe she should have expected that, if he truly had been in love with her since junior year of high school, but Pepper’s body reacted quicker than she could recognize, her cheeks going hot and nose scrunching as a smile broke across her features.

“Well,” She said as the ferris wheel began to turn again. “Lucky for us, we probably have some time to kill before we have to face them again.” She bit at her lower lip, glancing up at him and hoping he would catch onto her proposition.

And, since Davey had always been smart, he did. “You’re right.” He breathed, and then leaned down to catch her in another kiss, one that went on, well… a little longer than the first.

Later, they had to face their friends, red-faced and smiling as they admitted what had happened. They had to endure a good hour’s worth of teasing, V and Mickey taking the opportunity to deliver a few well-intended pokes to Pepper’s sides, and Race and Jack offering high-fives to her- well, she supposed he was her boyfriend now.

The two of them climbed into the backseat of Race’s mom’s minivan again, this time hand-in-hand and sharing warm laughter. Davey stole another kiss from her, giggly and content, and promptly leaned his head on her shoulder to get some rest.

She supposed everything else could wait.

#drop a like/rb if you read!! #thank you so so so much to everyone who read this i'm actualy really proud of it #shout out to V and Khourey #davey #olive talks #my fic #the amusement park

[shipaholic]

Omens Universe, Chapter 2 Part 1

at long last... PLOT

Yup, this is where shit goes down. No gem stuff and then A LOT OF GEM STUFF.

tw for floods/drowning/mass death (not our guys, but in the background)

Link to next part at the end.

---

(last part)

(chrono)

Chapter 2

3004 BC

Raindrops the size of rocks hammered down on Aziraphale. They burst on the back of his head and clumped his wings into feathery bricks.

He only had to make one more circuit before returning to the ark. The desert below was a bog. The humans had all retreated to their homes when the rain started to pour; soon it would rise around them.

He squinted through the water streaming down his face at the settlement nearby. The clay-brick houses were dark and hunched under the pounding rain. A lone stick-figure in black stood up to its ankles in floodwater outside one home. Aziraphale paused mid-flap. He knew who that was.

The angel swooped down to the sodden patch of buildings. He landed with a splash and waded over to the figure. It was having an argument in the doorway of one of the huts.

The bottom of Aziraphale’s robes stained brown as he squelched over, catching odd words under the noise of the rain.

“Nono, I already explained.” Crawly’s voice rose as Aziraphale got nearer. “You can’t just wait this one out. It’s not a few inches of wet we’re talking about. You’ll all be floating facedown in a few hours if you don’t get a move on.”

He was talking to a villager. She was a tiny old woman whose narrowed eyes vanished without a trace into a sea of wrinkles. “I’ve lived in this valley through all kinds of weather, young man,” she snapped. “I’m not goin’ to strap the entire house on my back, not to mention the goats, thank you very much, on the word of some stranger who’s come to town dressed like the grim reaper. Shove off and let me get back inside before I catch my death.”

“Inside is where you’ll catch your death -”

The door slammed. Crawly yelped and snatched his hand out of the way just in time. He sloshed backwards, muttering something disrespectful of the elderly.

Aziraphale couldn’t let this go on any longer. “Crawly!”

Crawly looked around. His expression darkened further when he saw Aziraphale.

“Get away from there! What on Earth are you doing?” Aziraphale bore down on him with splashy displeasure.

“Oh, you know.” Crawly waved an arm. “Saving a few lives. Undermining the Great Plan. Wiling, tempting, etcetera. Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be up on a cloud watching all this unfold?”

“Yes, all right, you’ve made your feelings clear,” Aziraphale snapped. He glanced around. They were the only people, or entities, in sight. “You’ve got to get out of here. It’s not safe. I’m not meant to be out here either, I should be boarding the ark with the others.”

“Right.” Crawly laughed, although he had never looked less amused. “Holed up for the next forty days and nights with Gabriel and Michael. Rather you than me.”

“It’s the safest place to be right now. The only safe place, in fact.” Floodwater slopped up to Aziraphale’s knees. He could no longer hold his robes above the wet. He let them float, heavy and pulled by currents. “Look, you didn’t hear this suggestion from me, but if you shape-shift, you might be able to sneak into the hold with the animals.”

“Angels above, demons below breathing in camel dung. How typical.”

“Crawly, please. There’s nothing you can do for them. Do you really want to stay here and watch them drown?”

“Maybe someone should.”

Crawly turned and stalked away, pushing against the tide. The water swelled and poured through the streets. Aziraphale heard cries from the humans’ homes; they must be realising they would never leave them again.

“Crawly,” he called out again. His voice sounded pitiful under the rising rains. A low moan whistled in his ears, as if the land was preparing for something seismic and terrible to occur.

He was almost out of time to get back to the ark. Aziraphale glanced nervously over his shoulder, then waded after Crawly.

The demon was taller and faster, even beaten back by a rising current. Aziraphale summoned his wings again and used them to push the water back. It didn’t matter at this point if any humans saw him.

“There isn’t much time,” he panted, catching up.

Crawly’s back radiated stony silence at Aziraphale as he trudged on against the flood. Aziraphale took a clumsy leap forward and almost slipped under the water that was now at chest-height. He got a handful of Crawly’s sleeve.

“I said, there isn’t much time -”

“You should get a move on, then.” The demon tried to shake him off, but the angel kept his grip. “Don’t worry about me. Don’t need to breathe, remember?”

“It’s not drowning I’m worried about!”

Water rushed in and covered their heads. The world changed colour and focus. The village was the murky brown of the bottom of a lake, houses improbably stuck in the ground like barnacles.

Chunks of debris rushed towards them, swept along by the floodwater. Aziraphale flicked his wrist and diverted a few rocks before they could hit either of them. More came. Slabs of rubble and driftwood and human detritus careened along in the current. The houses would collapse eventually, and they’d really be in danger.

This was a bad idea. But -

Aziraphale snapped his fingers.

An angel and demon reappeared in the desert, stumbling in the water and feeling very nauseous.

“Burgh,” said Crawly. He clutched Aziraphale’s arm, looked furious with himself, and pushed away again. “For Satan’sss sake, angel, what did you do that for?”

Aziraphale pressed a hand genteelly to his mouth. [1] Short-range teleportation was a cheap and nasty way to travel, even for celestial beings. Disassembling and reassembling one’s atoms a quarter-mile away was an easy enough trick, but the motion-sickness was murder.

“Listen to me, dear boy,” he said, once he was sure nothing non-verbal would come out. “I have no wish to see you discorporated here. Let’s go back to the ark, you can get dry - well, dry-ish - and we can think about what to do next. I daresay we can call a truce for the next forty days and nights. I can sneak down to see you any time, if you like. Erm, within reason. It might even be fun.”

Crawly stared at him.

“Fun,” he said, flatly.

Aziraphale’s smile slipped off his face.

He could see the village they’d just left in the distance. Tops of buildings protruded from the water. Behind Crawly’s head, the first house toppled ponderously sideways into the flood. A vision flashed in Aziraphale’s mind of a family driven up onto the roof, three stories high, with nowhere left to leap. If only they could keep climbing higher, into the clouds, outrunning the rising water.

He said, small-voiced, “I’m only trying to make the best of things.”

Crawly glared out at him from behind curtains of wet hair.

They might be further out, but the Flood was still coming for them. It poured in around their bodies with grim relentlessness, while raindrops the size of hailstones bounced off the surface. For the second time, water closed over their heads, and they stared at each other through the gloom.

Crawly sighed and turned away.

Aziraphale didn’t know how to cope with the feeling of shame. He’d never experienced it before. He looked away from the demon, back towards the town.

A landslide rushed towards them, along the ocean floor.

Aziraphale squeaked and lunged for Crawly again.

It was more a tackle than a rescue. Aziraphale wrangled Crawly into his arms before the avalanche could discorporate them both. Physics obligingly stepped aside. Aziraphale erupted from the waves, hauling a squirming and regrettably bony demon out of harm’s way.

Crawly spat out water and kicked the air. Aziraphale spread his wings and soared higher. Rain battered them. Lightning seared the sky like a firebolt, and seconds later the thunderclap rattled them down to their celestial essences. Angel and demon clung to each other while, above and below them, the Earth roared and drowned itself.

Crawly elbowed out of Aziraphale’s grip like a cat that no longer wanted to be picked up. He summoned his own wings and flapped a short distance away.

“Would you stop sssaving me?”

Aziraphale was getting tired of this. “Stop being so pig-headed and save yourself, then,” he said, snippily.

Crawly actually hissed at him. He pointedly turned his back on Aziraphale and stared down at the churning sea.

Entire walls of buildings rushed by beneath them. Crawly followed each one, eyes wide, until they swept past and out of sight. Aziraphale knew the demon was checking for humans. He was doing the same, with equal futility.

Lightning struck again, hitting the water with a crackling zap. Crawly’s eyes flashed gold. They were beautiful. It wasn’t the first time Aziraphale had thought so, but it was the first time he caught himself noticing.

Another thought crowded into his mind, as unwelcome as the rainwater tipping in rivulets down his spine. Each lightning bolt lit up the sky like holy fire. Someone looking in the right direction, with the right kind of eyesight, could see the pair of them from miles away.

“Crawly,” he said, urgently. “The ark.”

Crawly muttered, “Don’t talk to me about that eyesore, angel -”

“It’s crawling with Archangels.”

“Yeah, and?”

“All of them are watching the skies for me.”

“...Oh, shit.”

Crawly stared back at Aziraphale, pale-faced.

Without another word, they turned and dived back under the waves.

Discorporation was a picnic, comparatively. In the sense that they could imagine a picnic. Neither of them had any idea what the punishment would look like for palling around in the rain with one’s opposite number, while back at base a roster of angels got on with the Ineffable Plan. Neither wanted to find out.

The flood was fast and thunderously powerful. Angels could opt out of being affected by physical forces, to a point. Aziraphale centred himself in Earthly space and thought at the current that he was rather ignorable, really, and it might as well just flow around him rather than buffet him along. The current paused to consider and then obligingly skipped over him. Debris, and Crawly, continued to hurtle past. Aziraphale reached out without thinking and caught the demon by the arm.

The ring on his right hand glowed, and inner warmth filled him down to the fingertips as his shield unfurled. Boulders broke on it and streamed past him. He pulled Crawly close, so that the shield could cover them both. Something large thudded onto it and pushed him back, but it held. Crawly screwed up his face as if in pain, or intense concentration, and Aziraphale felt the shift as time slowed down, water thickening and swirling like paint, rocks breaking and tumbling past them like comets.

They moved together, in a slow-motion spin, like a ballet. Crawly’s red hair streamed between them like water weeds. His golden eyes shone, and so did the sigil on his cheek, and the ring on Aziraphale’s finger, and their bodies shone pure light and everything blurred together -

-

Two sets of wings erupted from his back. He beat them and felt the shock-waves pulse through the water. He spun and smashed three boulders to smithereens on his shield

I never used to have a shield? /

               I’ve always had a shield

and yelled just for the Hell of it. He felt -

He felt.

Large. Strong.

Not quite done yet? Like he got taken out of the oven too quickly. Or like a bird before all its feathers came in.

He felt -

Like flying!

He rocketed straight up and broke the surface of the floodwater.

His wings beat the air, wind pounding in his ears. He didn’t have a heart, but his body agreed that something thrummed in his chest and spurred him on. Storm clouds massed, the same colour as himself, a hodge-podge of greys. He flew closer to them. His hair, long and wild, whipped in the wind, while raindrops falling at half-speed broke harmlessly on his face

This is all wrong /

                 This is perfect

They’ll destroy us /

                 They can’t touch us

Angels aren’t supposed to /

                 No I’ll never be an angel again, unforgivable, that’s what I am

His form wobbled. For a moment he had four eyes and two noses and mouths and his body boiled over and tried to split apart

what is this what were we thinking what have we done they’ll see us

-

Pop.

One body became two.

Aziraphale tumbled through the air. Time flowed at normal speed. It felt faster. Up, down; any direction, he couldn’t have said. Rain pelted him, and he plunged out of the sky.

“Aziraphale!”

Crawly’s voice, raised in a roar. Too far away. Aziraphale saw a flash, a stick figure in black, high above him and shrinking as he fell.

He hit the water. Something smashed into him. Darkness.

---

[1] In theory, angels can’t be sick, but in theory, they also don’t eat. Aziraphale and theory were on uneasy terms by this stage.

---

(Chapter 2, Part 2)

#omens universe fic #omens universe #good omens fic #good omens #steven universe #it's fusion time #!!! #aziraphale's first moral dilemma #aziraphale's first discorporation #angels and demons are only affected by physical forces if they want to be #up to a point #*handwave for how they were standing around chatting in a flash-flood* #please don't emulate this!!

[theepolynesian]

Feisty Little Hobbit

Overall Summary: You are Bilbo’s little sister but the exact opposite

Chapter Summary: You try to dissuade Dain from attacking the elves and the battle begins

Previous Chapter: Chapter 17

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

“Are you alright, y/n?” Bilbo asks as he ushers you away from the gate.

You hated how much this journey had changed. Had you known that things would end like this, you wouldn’t have joined. You would never put yourself through this misery again.

“I want to go home Bilbo. I don’t want to deal with dwarves. I don’t want to deal with elves. I don’t want to deal with men. I just want to go home,” you whimper, pulling Bard’s cloak tighter around you.

You were so glad that water was below you and not hard ground. You don’t think you would’ve been able to survive that fall.

“Will you have peace or war?” Bard asks Thorin.

You shuffle along as the elves make room for you to leave. You were not about to be caught up in this mess. Elves, men, and 13 dwarves? It was not going to end well and you did not want to be there to witness it.

You hear a raven and you turn back. The raven has landed next to Thorin and Thorin smirks before turning back to Bard. You hear rumbling coming from the east but you can’t see anything due to the fact that you were only as tall as the elves’ hips.

“I will have war!”

You take a detour as the elves start marching towards the source of the noise. Bilbo follows you quickly as you hear a very familiar voice cut through.

“If you could all kindly sod off!”

You push your way through the humans and make your way to the front.

“Y/n?” The very familiar face of Dain asks.

You smile at him.

You were very found of Dain. Like you told Thorin, you had traveled a lot and had even made it to the Iron Hills once. You were not too sure why you were travelling there, but you just did. Dain had questioned you for hours, but you couldn’t give him an answer and when he sassed you, you sassed him right back. 

That is what started the weird friendship. You stayed for about three months, in the royal wing, before heading back to Bag End. Bilbo often questioned why you were gone for two years, but you never answered him. I mean, how were you supposed to tell your brother that you’ve been living with dwarves for three months?

“Who is he?” Bilbo asks, coming to stand in the back of you.

Your brother was very suspicious of every person that seemed to know you. He always interrogated you or the other party. It did get annoying sometimes, but he was only doing his duty.

“This my dear Bilbo is Lord Dain of the Iron Hills,” you say, bowing a little, “Thorin’s cousin.”

Dain nods back at you.

“What are you doing here?” Dain asks, getting off of his pig and taking off his helmet.

He still looked like the same Dain you met three years ago with his wild red hair and boar tusks braided into his beard.

You walk closer to him, needing to speak to him privately.

If he dismounted his pig, that means that he was letting his guard down and that is exactly what you needed to talk some sense into him.

“Funnily enough. I was a part of Thorin’s company,” you say.

Dain laughs.

“Of course you were. I wouldn’t have expected less from you,” he says and you smile.

“But why has Thorin called for soldiers?”

You turn around and everyone is waiting expectantly. The elve were in a fighting position and the men looked nervous to actually be participating in a war. It seems like they all thought Thorin was going to give in. Boy were they wrong.

You look at the gate and you cannot see the dwarves so you just turn back to Dain.

“End this silliness, y/n,” Thranduil calls out.

You turn back to glare at him. You just got thrown off a wall and were trying your best to stall time and he had the gall to tell you to hurry up. That pompous ass.

“Let me do me and worry about yourself,” you snap and Dain snickers.

“You heard the lady you tree shagger,” Dain cheers.

You turn to glare at him too. He snaps his mouth shut. You don’t think you had ever seen someone shut his mouth up quicker than you had.

You walk closer to him to get a more private conversation.

“Thorin is not in his right mind,” you mutter, hoping and praying that he does not accuse you of disloyalty like some other dwarf you know, “It’s the sickness. If you wage war up the elves and men, he will not aid you. He would rather sit on his throne and hide with all his treasure than help you, his kin. He even doubted the loyalty of them and if I remember correctly, you were big on protecting each other rather than turning against each other.” you explain.

Dain seems to think for a moment and you let out a quiet sight. After getting to know both Thorin and Dain, Dain seemed to be the more reasonable one. Well, at least to you.

“Aye, Ive heard of that sickness. Dragon sickness. My father said it drove Thror mad with greed,” Dain says.

“And it is doing the same to Thorin. You mustn’t attack the elves. Unnecessary blood will be shed on both sides. We don’t -.”

You are interrupted by what feels like an earthquake. Dain reaches out to steady you and you look towards the other mountains. Out bursts wereworms.

You and Dain exchange a look.

This is not good.

Blood. Blood everywhere.

You couldn’t stand it.

There was so much dead bodies littering the ground that it was horrific; something you’ve only seen in nightmares.

The only good thing about this whole thing was that Thorin had finally got his head out of his ass and joined in the fray.

You were fighting back to back with Dain at the moment when Thorin joins you.

“Y/n-,” you hear him say, but you opt to go fight a bunch of orcs elsewhere. Now was not the time to deal with this. Not in the middle of all this blood and gore.

“Lover’s quarrel?” you hear Dain snicker.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” is Thorin’s reply.

You shake your head, killing more and more orcs. You hear something on wheels and you turn to find Thorin on a goat with Balin in a chariot of sorts with Dwalin, Kili, and Fili. Fili is looking straight at you with his hand out.

You sigh. You decide to follow Thorin. One last time. You grab onto his hand and he pulls you up right before Balin whips the goats to lead on.

“Lass, I’m so glad to see you alright,” Dwalin says.

“So am I. I’m glad that all of you are alive,” you say honestly.

You checked to make sure that every dwarf that had fallen was not a member of the company. Even after all that has happened, you still cared for each and everyone of them

You climb off of your shared goat with Fili and start attacking the orcs that were located there. There is a good number of them and when you finally get a break, you look around, suspicious.

Where had they all gone?

“Fili, Kili! Go check out the towers. Azog has to be around here somewhere,” Thorin orders.

“No!” you say, looking at the towers he wanted the boys to check out.

“Y/n-,”

“No, Thorin. Your stubborn ass will listen to me for once and I will exit your life once and for all just like you wanted,” you snap, turning to him, “Azog was just in those towers and now he’s gone. That is very suspicious to me. It is obviously a trap and by Durin we will not walk into it!”

Thorin looks at you for a second and then nods.

“We will live to fight another day.”

Tag List: @sdavid09@chevycastiel1967@jotink78@annajolras@mellonofmiddleearth@werewitchling@imaginesreblogged @swf-productions @carry-on-my-akward-son @ladyoakensheildmalfoypurdymanson

#feisty little hobbit #chapter 18 #y/n baggins #Bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #dain ironfoot #kili #fili #dwalin #balin #battle of the five armies #bard the bowman #thranduil #the hobbit #drabbles #fanfiction #books

[neyla9]

Abducted Part 10

Ao3 Version

It was only the third day of Dipper and Bill’s visit to Earth, and it was today they were visiting the Zoo. Bill had been very excited for it, since Zoos didn’t exist on his planet.

 Dipper had his alarm clock set to seven am, so he could get up early and prepare for the trip, but woke up around eight and discovered that someone had turned his alarm clock off.

 He got up, put on his clothes, and went downstairs to find Mabel and Bill almost done making breakfast.

 “Hello, Pine Tree,” Bill greeted him while carrying a plate of scrambled eggs.

 “Good morning, Bill,” Dipper greeted back, stepping out of the way so Bill could reach the dining table and put down the plate. “Hey, did you turn off my alarm clock.”

 “Yes,” Bill nodded and walked back to the kitchen, quickly emerging again with a plate of assorted fruits. “So that you would not get up early stress over everything. Breakfast is almost prepared.”

 Feeling hungry, and slightly speechless, Dipper sat down at the dining table and waited for the others.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  After breakfast, Dipper and Bill headed out for the zoo. The two of them had to take the bus, which turned out to be more exciting for Bill than Dipper had anticipated. Vehicles with wheels were almost an ancient concept to Bill’s people, and they had never had anything similar to a car. Bill looked excitedly out of the window while the bus drove, and described the entire experience as “sailing on the ground”.

 After arriving at the zoo, and paying the entrance fee, Dipper was free to show Bill some of Earth’s creatures. One of the closest exhibits to the entrance was the lions. Half of the exhibit was closed off with a wall, with an opening in it leading to the lions’ inside containment. Part of the wall also had a window that allowed patrons to observe the lions closer. The other half of the exhibit just used a waist-high iron fence, but around said fence was an area with water, preventing the lions from reaching it.

 There were three lion cubs, playing with each other on a cut-down tree that had been fashioned into a climbing gym for the lions, while the adult lions lazed around in the sun.

 “Look at them!” Bill exclaimed in awe. “Look at them, Pine Tree!”

 “You wanna get a closer look?” Dipper asked pointing to the window where some of the other guests had already gathered.

 Bill nodded and nearly ran over to the window.

 “Why does only one of them have hair?” Bill asked, pointing to the male lion through the window.

 “Oh, that’s called a mane,” Dipper explained. “Adult, male lions have those, unless they’re sick.”

 The next stop was the penguins. Bill thought they were really funny looking, and got really excited when he heard that penguins mate for life.

 After the penguins came the seals. The seals’ exhibit had a piece of dry land made to look like an arctic beach, but the majority of the exhibit was a giant swimming area for the seals, which included a window that allowed patrons to see the seals swimming through the water. Bill stood glued to that window for nearly fifteen minutes, just watching the seals swim back and forth through the water, like an underwater ballet.

 Then came the tropic house; a special area dedicated to tropical birds, along with other animals, like reptiles and insects.

  “This area is filled with butterflies,” Dipper explained when he and Bill entered said part of the tropic house.

 Bill watched in fascination as all the butterflies fluttered back, forth, and around the area.

 “There are so many,” Bill whispered in awe.

 Dipper looked around and then proceeded to turn Bill’s direction to a nearby sign.

 “There; it’s a list of all the different kinds of butterflies they have,” Dipper said.

 Near the end of the tropic house was an area containing crocodiles. Bill was very confused when they reached them.

 “Where are the animals?” Bill asked.

 “Right there,” Dipper responded, pointing at the reptiles, all of which were lying very still.

 “Oh, those are not logs,” Bill noted before frowning. “I… think they are dead.”

 It took a while to explain to Bill that the crocodiles weren’t dead, they were just lying still to lure their prey closer, but afterwards, they made their way to the kids zoo; an area of the zoo mainly composed of farm animals like cows, pigs, and horses, along with a petting zoo with goats.

 “I believe this area is for children,” Bill noted while two five year olds nearly ran him over to get to the animal-themed playground. “Why are we here?”

 “In about five minutes, there’ll be a show at the outdoor arena,” Dipper pointed to an area shaded by a tarp, with three rows of benches under. “My sister and I would always watch it whenever we went to the zoo.”

 “What is the show about?”

 “Oh, a zookeeper shows up with different animals, and children get to hold and touch them,” Dipper explained. “I remember once the zookeepers had snakes, hedgehogs, and turtles.”

 While Dipper was busy explaining, more people arrived and sat down in the seats, including families with small children who all wanted to sit on the front row. Finally, a young woman, wearing a zookeeper uniform, came, pushing a trolley with boxes of varying sizes on it.

 “Hello everyone,” the woman greeted the crowd, stopping the trolley. “My name is Amanda, and I’m here to show you some of the animals we have here in the zoo.”

 She opened one of the boxes and pulled out a lizard, which was around four inches in length.

 “Anyone know what this is?” she asked and most of the children excitedly raised a hand.

 One of the children, a little girl, got to answer, after which all the children got a chance to pet the lizard, and even hold it.

 Afterwards, zookeeper put the lizard away and pulled a huge snake out of the other boxes. Some of the children looked slightly scared at the sight of the enormous reptile, while others looked surprised at the sheer size of the serpent.

 “This here is the zoo’s largest constrictor snake,” the zookeeper explained. “Don’t be scared; she’s a real sweetheart.”

 The snake slithered upward and draped itself behind the zookeeper’s neck. Some of the small kids gasped in fear at the sight, one of them even yelling out a warning to the zookeeper.

 “Don’t worry,” the zookeeper laughed. “Snakes are coldblooded, which means they get cold very easily. Kinda like when you’ve been out in the snow for hours. And because of this, snakes always try to seek out warm places. Try touching your necks and note how warm they are.”

 The children did as instructed, and many of them marveled at how warm their necks were.

 “Now, I’m gonna need an adult to hold this snake, so I can help the kids who wanna pet the smaller ones,” the zookeeper said before pointing to Bill. “Could you help me, sir?”

 “… Sure,” Bill responded after a moment of surprise. About half the kids present walked over to Bill after he was handed the snake. The snake, however, didn’t stay in Bill’s hands for long, as it slithered towards Dipper’s neck and draped itself around him, forcing Dipper to carry it instead. It seemed like the snake preferred Dipper’s higher body temperature.

 While all the kids were petting and cooing at the snake, Bill leaned in towards Dipper and whispered to him: “I hope someday our children can experience this.”

 After the show, they walked around for a while, looking at the many different animals, Bill more enthralled with each exhibit.

 When it was about time to leave, there was only one last thing Dipper wanted to show Bill; the Night Zoo. It was a separate building, like the tropic zoo, filled with nocturnal animals. A sign outside the building warned against flash photography and lights in general, since it would disturb the animals inside.

 The first room in the building was where the bats were kept. It was almost entirely dark, except for some black lights. The bats’ exhibit was constructed to look like a cavern, with a giant piece of glass separating the guests and the animals.

 It was also very quiet inside; everyone spoke in low tones and whispers to avoid disturbing the animals, so the most noise came from the bats screeching, and from some speakers that played typical night sounds, like the sound of crickets and owls, for ambience.

 It was a gorgeous sight, watching the bats fly back and forth or even just hanging upside down; some of them even hang right in front of the glass wall, allowing patrons to see them up close.

 “So,” Dipper whispered to Bill while they observed the bats. “How was your first visit to the zoo?”

 “I enjoyed it immensely,” Bill responded with a smile. “I have had a chance to see all these new animals, and so close too. It has been wonderful.”

 Bill placed a hand on Dipper’s shoulder, gently turning him away from the exhibit, and towards Bill.

 Dipper stared at Bill; with the black lights being the only source of light, it made Bill look… enchanting, there was no other word for it.

 Dipper leaned forward, tilting his neck to meet Bill’s lips. They felt soft like velvet and made Dipper’s entire body shiver at the sensation.

 Overall, a rather pleasant outing.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  It was on the fifth day that Dipper’s family would visit. His parents, grandfather, and two great-uncles were the only close family members who’d show up, and most likely the only ones who cared about Dipper being alright. Aside from them, there was, his grandfather’s second wife whom Dipper had no idea why she would show up, especially since she didn’t like anyone in the family, his aunt on his mother’s side, who lived for drama and had never particularly liked Dipper, his aunt’s husband who most of the time acted more like an accessory to his wife than a husband, and their daughter, Dipper’s cousin, who always gave off the vibe that she either hated Dipper in a very passive-aggressive way or that she wanted to date him, and Dipper honestly crossed fingers for the former.

 Needless to say, Dipper was nervous; if how Mabel had reacted was any indication, his family had become convinced that Dipper had been kidnapped and subjected to various forms for abuse and terrifying acts. Really, only the kidnapping part held any kind of truth, and even then it had been based on a misunderstanding.

 Still, Dipper was worried. He wanted his family to like Bill, but even if he could convince them that Bill wasn’t a criminal scumbag, they would probably always see Bill as the one who took Dipper away from them.

 Dipper sighed and continued polishing the silverware, all in preparation for when the various members of his family showed up.

 “You’re still polishing the silverware?” Dipper let out a small gasp in surprise and turned to find his sister. He had been so lost in thoughts he hadn’t noticed her entering the kitchen.

 “Yeah, I’m just…” he paused and put the spoon he had been polishing down. “… getting done…”

 “Something bothering you?” Mabel asked.

 “… When is everyone getting here?”

 “Uh, mom and dad should get here first, in about an hour. Then Aunt Sharon, Uncle Ron, and Cousin Adina. Then Grandpa Shermy… Uh, Granny Alice didn’t give a specific time, and neither did Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford, but they said they would be here before seven.”

 “Oh, okay,” Dipper swallowed and made to leave, but was blocked by Mabel.

 “What’s wrong?” she asked.

 “I just…” Dipper sighed and let out a frustrated groan. “I know this is going to be a disaster! I want Bill to like our family, and I want our family to like Bill, but with how you reacted when I first got here, a-and Aunt Sharon showing up with her family-“

 “Dipper, everyone was very worried about you!” Mabel insisted. “Why else would they travel all the way here?”

 “Curiosity?” Dipper suggested. “Whatever the reason, it’s not to see if I’m okay. If anything, they’re probably hoping Bill’s an abusive jerk or something.”

 “You think that mom and dad-“

 “I’m not talking about mom and dad!” Dipper interrupted. “Mom, dad, Grandpa Shermy, Grunkle Stan, and Grunkle Ford; I know they have my best interest in mind. Everyone else who’s coming; not so much. I want Bill to see our family as his. Bill doesn’t really have a family himself…”

 “I know this is hard for you,” Mabel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “But… maybe they’ll surprise you?”

 “… I doubt it,” Dipper sighed.

 His parents showed up only fifty minutes later; their arrival was signaled by the doorbell ringing.

 “I’ll get it!” Dipper shouted and went to the front door. As soon as he opened it, he was pulled into his mother’s arms.

 “Oh, Dipper!” she sobbed and held him close. “It’s really you! I almost couldn’t believe it when Mabel called!”

 “H-hey, give him some space, honey,” Dipper’s father interjected. Dipper was surprised to see that his dad’s eyes were shining with unshed tears.

 “Who is it?” Bill’s voice sounded from behind him. Dipper didn’t need to see to know that both of his parents were staring at Bill.

 “Um, mom? Dad?” Dipper let out a nervous cough. “This is Bill… he’s my husband.”

#billdip #abducted #alien au

[kiddylanes]

An Extra Laughter with Kids...

No one would ever imagine that laughter has the power to heal an individual, both physically and mentally. When children laugh, it can be uplifting for anyone listening to it, and it benefits the child in untold ways. And, the sound of children laughing can be very compelling too!!

The sound of children laughing genuinely is one of life’s most beautiful sounds. Whether it’s straight from the belly, a loud chuckle or a full-throated laugh, anyone listening to it can smile at the sound. It also makes one feel liberated and alive and fills one up with joy. Truly said, laughter is indeed the best medicine. Here are some widespread ways in which children can reap the benefits of their own laughter.

A sense of humor can brighten family life. You can blow raspberries on a baby's belly, put on a silly hat and chase a 3-year-old, or pretend to fall into a pile of leaves to amuse a first-grader. As kids grow into preteens and teens, you can share puns and jokes as their sense of what's funny grows more sophisticated.

Laughing together is a way to connect, and a good sense of humor also can make kids smarter, healthier, and better able to cope with challenges.

We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like blue eyes or big feet. But a sense of humor actually is a learned quality that can be developed in kids, not something they're born with.

What's So Funny Anyway?

Humor is what makes something funny; a sense of humor is the ability to recognize it. Someone with a well-developed sense of humor has the ability to recognize what's funny in others and can amuse them as well.

A good sense of humor is a tool that kids can rely on throughout life to help them:

see things from many perspectives other than the most obvious

be spontaneous

grasp unconventional ideas or ways of thinking

see beyond the surface of things

enjoy and participate in the playful aspects of life

not take themselves too seriously

Kids with a well-developed sense of humor are happier and more optimistic, have higher self-esteem, and can handle differences (their own and others') well. Kids who can appreciate and share humor are better liked by their peers and more able to handle the adversities of childhood — from moving to a new town, to teasing, to torment by playground bullies.

And a good sense of humor doesn't just help kids emotionally or socially. Research has shown that people who laugh more are healthier — they're less likely to be depressed and may even have an increased resistance to illness or physical problems. They experience less stress; have lower heart rates, pulses, and blood pressure; and have better digestion. Laughter may even help humans better endure pain, and studies have shown that it improves our immune function.

But most of all, a sense of humor is what makes life fun. Few pleasures rival yukking it up with your kids.

Different Ages — Different Humor

Kids can start developing a sense of humor at a very young age. But what's funny to a toddler won't be funny to a teen. To help your kids at each stage of development, it's important to know what's likely to amuse them.

Babies

Babies don't really understand humor, but they do know when you're smiling and happy. When you make funny noises or faces and then laugh or smile, your baby is likely to sense your joy and imitate you. He or she is also highly responsive to physical stimuli, like tickling or raspberries.

Sometime between 9 and 15 months, babies know enough about the world to understand that when mom puts a diaper on her head or quacks like a duck, she's doing something unexpected — and that it's funny.

Toddlers Toddlers appreciate physical humor, especially the kind with an element of surprise (like peek-a-boo or an unexpected tickle). As kids develop language skills, they'll find rhymes and nonsense words funny — and this will continue well into the preschool years.

And it's around this time that many kids start trying to make their parents laugh. Your child might deliberately point to the wrong facial feature when asked "Where's your nose?" or put on your shoes and clomp around the house.

Preschoolers

A preschooler is more like find humor in a picture with something out of whack (a car with square wheels, a pig wearing sunglasses) than a joke or pun. Incongruity between pictures and sounds (a horse that says moo) is also funny for this age group. And as they become more aware of bodily functions and of what gets a parent's goat, preschoolers often start delighting in bathroom humor.

School-age Kids

As kids move into kindergarten and beyond, basic wordplay, exaggeration, and slapstick will increasingly funny. They may discover the pleasure of telling simple jokes (it's fun to be the one who knows the punchline!) and will repeat the same jokes over and over.

Older grade-schoolers have a better grasp of what words mean and are able to play with them — they like puns, riddles, and other forms of wordplay. They'll also start making fun of any deviation from what they perceive as "normal" forms of behavior or dress, and gross-out jokes related to bodily functions are a hit too.

But kids this age are also developing more subtle understandings of humor, including the ability to use wit or sarcasm and to handle adverse situations using humor.

Humor Basics

It's never too early to start developing a child's sense of humor. Babies' smiles and laughs are so delightful that we often do this intuitively — smiling, blowing raspberries, or tickling them many times a day just to hear a chuckle.

It's important to keep up this encouragement as kids grow. When you're playful and humorous with your child, delighting in silliness and laughter, you help him or her develop a playful and humorous attitude about life.

One of the best ways to do this from the toddler years on is to spend time every day being receptive to the many opportunities your child gives you to smile or laugh. Be spontaneous, playful, and aware of what your child finds funny at different ages. Also be game enough to laugh so the jokes don't fall flat.

What else can you do to encourage your child's sense of humor?

Be a humor model. One of the best things you can do to develop your child's sense of humor is to use your own. Make jokes. Tell funny stories. Laugh out loud. Deal lightly with small catastrophes like spilt milk.

Take kids' humor seriously. Encourage your child's attempts at humor, whether it's reading (potentially unfunny) jokes from a book or drawing "funny" pictures of the family dog. Praise your child for trying to be funny and be open to surprise — the first time your child makes you laugh is one of life's great pleasures.

Teach kids that adults are funny — and that they can be too. Make humor a part of your day-to-day interactions with your kids and encourage them to share funny observations or reactions, even when you're around other adults.

Create a humor-rich environment. Surround your kids with funny books — for toddlers and preschoolers these include picture books or nonsense rhymes; older kids will love joke books and comics. Also check out funny TV shows, movies, and websites for all age groups — help your child make good choices and then enjoy them too.

Where to Draw the Line

You don't want to rain on their parade, but kids need boundaries when it comes to humor, just like they do in other areas. You don't want to encourage mean-spirited or off-color jokes, so be a good role model and avoid using humor in this way. If someone tells a hurtful or inappropriate joke, don't laugh. Take the time to explain to your child why that joke isn't funny.

You also might want to gently discourage bathroom humor or at least not participate too heartily. It won't hurt anyone's feelings but kids may have trouble determining when it's OK to make such a joke (at home, with family) and when it's not (in the classroom, at church).

The Family That Laughs Together...

Above all, humor is social. That's why you laugh harder at a funny movie when you see it in the theater with other people laughing around you than all alone on your couch.

A key aspect to developing your child's sense of humor is to take time to have fun as a family. Share jokes, play games, and watch funny movies together.

You might even adopt your own offbeat family traditions, whether it's hanging spoons off your noses or wearing matching pajamas. It will be funny now — and maybe even funnier in years to come, when you and your kids remember those silly family times.

Courtesy: parentinghealthybabies.com, kidshealth.org

For more of such articles on parenting, kids, and family, visit https://kiddylanes.com/blogs/news

#kiddy lanes #kiddylanes #kids #kid online store #online store for kids #kid apparel #kids clothing #stories for kids #humour #enterntainment