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kokomyass · 3 months

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Genshin headcannons ☆ Traveller finding out that you are in a relationship with genshin characters

Genshin x Fem!Reader

Genre: ☁️

Trigger warnings ⚠️: none!!

featuring: Neuvillette, Wriothesley, Alhaitham

synopsis: in which, traveller and paimon find out you are an ✨️ITEM✨️!!!

Notes: you are immortal in Neuvillette's part, you are a bad bitch in Wriothesley's part, you are part of the Academia for Alhaitham's part and hella shy

a/n: it was NOT a narrow win, this one won by far...so I hope you enjoy!!

also I might do a part 2 depending on how many people like it....and if you want any characters added just drop me a message 💜⭐️💜⭐️

Neuvillette

The Traveller and Paimon had decided to make an unexpected visit to the Palais Mermonia to see Neuvillette and Furina since they happened to be in Fontaine.

"Hey Sendene!! We are here to see Neuvillette and Furina!!" Paimon shouted out floating happily.

"Hello Traveller, Paimon. You see Neuvillette is currently away but you can make your way over to his office, he shouldn't mind." the Melusine said happily

"Thanks Sendene! See you!!" The Traveller and Paimon opened the doors to Neuvillette's office only to be met with an unfamiliar face.

You were sat down reading a book, with one leg crossed over the other deep in the book that you don't notice the two individuals walk in the room.

"Ummm...Hello there!! Whoever could you be?" your head shoots up to look at the Traveller and Paimon a look of suprise and happiness on your face at the same time.

"Ah! The infamous Traveller and Paimon!! Neuvi has said so much about you! It's so nice to finally meet you." you shoot up and hold the Traveller's hand, shortly moving to patting Paimon.

"You sure are energetic....but you never answered my question!" Paimon shouted putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh dear...that's my bad hehe...I am Y/N, its lovely to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too Y/N!! So what are you doing in Neuvillette's office? You must be awfully close to give him that nickname" Paimon asks as the Traveller looks a bit confused as to how you had gotten so close to Neuvillette and how they didn't know who you were.

"Well I am Neuvillette's-" just as you were about to explain your presence, Neuvillette and Furina walked through the office doors making you smile warmly.

"Neuvillette!! Furina!! You run up to them giggling.

Furina walked through first, making her the first victim to your hug.

"Ah! Y/N!! It's nice to see you too" Furina smiled softly as she hugged you back.

"She's close to Furina too?! Just who is she?!!!" Paimon shouted feeling in the dark as the Traveller already had their suspicions...

"Oh how did you not know? She is Neuvillette's..." Just as Furina wanted to reply to Paimon's exclamation you squealing turned all their head in your direction.

"Neuvi~ I missed you..."

"Hello, my dearest. I too missed you an immense amount." Neuvillette said warmly making Paimon and the Traveller shocked at the love in his eyes and Furina unfazed by it.

You went on your tiptoes and wrapped your arms around Neuvillette's neck hugging him before placing a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away and handing him a cake box.

"I took a break from work to bring you a cake but now I'm gonna go...have a nice day at work and I'll see you at home!"

"I cannot wait to see you at home my dear, stay safe."

Neuvillette cups your face and places a kiss on both cheeks as you give him the cake, hug him tightly and pack your things.

"It was lovely to meet you guys!! Maybe we can meet up sometime!! See you Furina!!" you smile and wave to Paimon and The Traveller and Furina as they stare at you dumbfounded as you walk out the doors and Furina smiles and waves back.

"It is good to see you two, how have you been faring?" Neuvillette smiled turning to the Traveller and Paimon.

"UH...ERM....ARE WE GONNA IGNORE THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM??!! WHO IS Y/N TO YOU?!" Paimon screamed as Neuvillette held a neutral face.

"Oh Y/N is my wife. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to put her in danger."

"That makes so much sense...its quite cute actually!! I can't believe THE Chief Justice has a wife!! For how long?" Paimon seemed to be extremely amused as the Traveller sighed at how dense Paimon was.

"400 years"

"SAY WHAT??!?!?"

☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•

Wriothesley

"Erm...can you hear that Traveller?" Paimon sounded uneasy as the Traveller gave her a look of uncertainty at whatever was currently going on in the Duke of Meropide's office.

There was currently shouting going on that was so loud that a few people gather around his office to see if they could get anyone the drama. (that the only entertainment they get down there)

"WELL IF YOU DIDN'T PUT MY CAKE IN THE BIN THEN I WOULDN'T BE HERE TO BE HONEST, WRIOTHESLEY!!"

"UGH Y/N I TOLD YOU, I CAN GET YOU A BETTER ONE!! PLUS YOU ARE SO LOUD THAT I BET EVERYONE IS OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!"

"OH REALLY MR DUKE?? I LIKE THAT ONE CAUSE YOU MADE IT!"

"Y/N YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT TASTED LIKE DIRT! AND STOP SHOUTING!!!"

Outside the office people were mumbling different things.

"Damn her sentence is gonna be for life if it wasn't before...."

"She's a soldier...."

Sigewinne showed up next to the Traveller and Paimon with an fed up look on her face.

"They are at it again...." She sighed and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Sigewinne!! Just what is going on in there?" Paimon asked as the Traveller flinched at another shout.

"You better go see for yourself..." Sigewinne pushed the Traveller and Paimon in the office and they climbed up the stairs to see a random woman and Wriothesley stop arguing to look at them.

Your demeanor changed completely as you turn your body to face them fully and smile.

"Oh hello! You must be the Traveller, and her cute little friend Paimon!" you smile softly as Paimon giggles and the Traveller greets you.

"Don't make Paimon blush!! However, the main issue is why you guys are shouting so much!!" Paimon places her hands on her hips like an angry mother.

Just as you started to calm you started getting heated.

"Traveller, I wouldn't usually be so desperate...but I could really use your help..."

"Hush it, Wrio." Paimon and the Traveller look at each other in shock.

Not only were you rude to THE Duke of Meropide but he also listened to you.

"Well, funny you guys asked....my HUSBAND here made me a lovely, beautiful delightful cake...last night which I enjoyed immensely!"

"Y/N-" Just as Wriothesley wanted to start you gave him a glare that shut him up.

"I REALLY enjoyed the cake, but my husband insisted it tasted like ass....so this morning after he had gone to work and I wanted to eat this cake I wake up to see it in the bin. So I am simply asking my husband to explain himself."

You fold your arms directing your attention back to Wriothesley.

"Wait....wait...wait...YOUR HUSBAND????!?!? WRIOTHESLEY THIS IS NEWS TO ME...." Paimon shouted as both the Traveller and Paimon both put their hands on their hips.

Wriothesley sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Guys....this is Y/N my wife of 3 years."

"Not for much longer is you keep this up."

"Y/N!! I'm sorry okay, I will make another one for you tonight." You immediately perked up and smiled warmly as you gave him a tight hug he returned, before you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"There we go, it wasnt hard was it! Anyway, I gotta go back to work...see you guys around and see you tonight, Wrio." you waved as you walked downstairs and left.

It was silent for a few minutes as the Paimon and the Traveller stared at Wriothesley in disbelief.

"I didn't want to tell you in these circumstances but-" Wriothesley started

"YOU BAKE??!!" The Traveller and Paimon spoke up in sync.

☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•

Alhaitham

It was a lovely day and The traveller and Paimon were walking through Port Ormos, just as a little relaxation walk.

"Hey Traveller, isn't that Alhaitham? Let's go say hi!" The Traveller nods and they both go and say hi to Alhaitham despite him talking to you.

You turn your head and notice the Traveller and Paimon approach your boyfriend so you tapped him while he was talking so he would turn around.

"Ah, Traveller and Paimon. How are you? What brings you here?" Alhaitham turns around as you shyly stand behind him hoping they don't notice you.

"We are great! Just came here for a walk. What about you."

"I am discussing things with my partner...." Alhaitham glanced back to you suggesting you make an appearance as you only cower behind him, gripping his arm tight.

"Uhhh....I'm assuming that's them behind you in the Akademiya uniform." Paimon says crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Alhaitham nods before turning around and grabbing your shoulders, steering you infront of him. "Introduce yourself Y/N..."

"H-Hi....I am Y/N...." you don't say much before wrapping your arms around Alhaitham tightly and shoving your face in his chest. He wraps his arms around you smiling faintly (not going unnoticed by The Traveller)

"Sorry, she is usually really shy..." Alhaitham deadpanned.

"How on earth can she be your partner?" Paimon asked kind of shocked that he was tolerant enough to work together with you.

"She is actually a very valuable asset. I don't appreciate your language." Alhaitham said it neutrally despite the cold look in his eyes.

Before anyone can say anything tou mumbled out from Alhaitham's chest.

"I wanna go home...." you squeezed him tighter as he did the same.

"Well, we are going home now, she seems a bit overwhelmed so we will catch you another time." Alhaitham says moving away making Paimon and The Traveller feel a bit weirded out at how close they were for partners.

"Hey wait!! I'm sorry I said that....I didn't mean it...are you scared of us?" you looked away from Alhaitham's chest smiling slightly at them but not letting go.

"I'm scared cause you guys are so cool, Alhaitham told me all about you!" you spoke softly before turning away and earning a head pat from Alhaitham.

"Well done for speaking Y/N, dear." Alhaitham said as you looked up at him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"EWWW! JUST WHAT TYPE OF PARTNERS ARE YOU?!?!" Paimon shouted as you and Alhaitham shared another small kiss before walking away.

"Romantic partners and work partners."

"WHATTTT!!"

☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•~•☆☆•

a/n: I'm probs gonna do a pt. 2 just because j wanna write scara too and wanna make sure I haven't written too much...anyways I hope you enjoyed 💜✨️💜✨️💜

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bbyjackie · 10 months

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𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: killer

》 you guys im so sorry it took so long for me to post this,, ive been so busy

♡ liked by killerrr, theroronoa.zoro and 5.8k others

_ynln: my man is so fine, almost had to gatekeep this photo 😣😣

tagged: killerrr

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: STOP SENDING THIS PHOTO IN OUR GC WE GET IT

↳ _ynln: ill stay bragging about my hot asf boyfie 😮‍💨😮‍💨🤞🤞

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: OUR man ☝️

↳ _ynln: KID GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS OMFG

↳ wirewirewire: competition for killer is mad 😭😭

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: it's not a competition, i'm winning 🔥🔥

↳ _ynln: im reporting ur acc

theroronoa.zoro: @killerrr YOO lets hit up the gym sometime together

↳ killerrr: for sure bro

↳ hey_its_heat: at this rate, yn is fighting off the whole world hitting up killer 💀

↳ _ynln: STOPP FRR,, its fine im his no.1️⃣

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: the delusion is crazy 🥱🥱

↳ wirewirewire: ^

↳ hey_its_heat: ^

↳ _ynln: @killerrr address these allegations!!

♡ liked by nicorobin, _ynln and 2.5k others

killerrr: my no.1️⃣ (addressing the allegations)

my girl is so fine, almost had to gatekeep these photos ❤️

tagged: _ynln

_ynln: stop this rn or else im gonna have to kiss u 😣🫵

↳ _ynln: killer i love you <3 (liked by killerrr)

↳ killerrr: do it

↳ _ynln: AHHHGGHHH SCREAMING CRYING ‼️‼️

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: keep this sappy shit OFF my timeline

↳ _ynln: mad u stay single 🥱

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: okay little miss delusional 🤣

↳ _ynln: okay little miss(ing) one arm 🤣

↳ wirewirewire: NO FUCKING WAYBVDWUHIUB 💀

↳ hey_its_heat: that clapback was insane 😭😭

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: pls put a trigger warning on this!

↳ _ynln: piss off

hawkinsthemagician444: The cards are telling me your girl is fine.

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: wtaf that was some jeepers creepers shit (liked by _ynln)

↳ killerrr: fuck off (liked by CAPTAIN.KIIIID)

nicorobin: you look gorgeous @_ynln!

↳ _ynln: ROBIN OMMGGG UR MAKING ME KICK MY FEET AND TWIRL MY HAIR EEEE (liked by nicorobin)

♡ liked by trafalgar_d.law, p1rateking_luffy and 6.1k others

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: betting 100,000 berries that she doesn't notice till she sees this post 🔥

tagged: killerrr

trafalgar_d.law: you guys are an actual menace

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU'RE NEXT TRAFALGAR

_ynln: WTAF I TRY TO MAKE PASTA FOR U GUYS AND THIS IS WHAT I GET??

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: skill issue 😪😪

↳ _ynln: KILLER WTAF I THOUGHT U WERE PATTING ME ON THE BACK CAUSE I WAS DOING WELL

↳ killerrr: i love u but ngl it was funny asf

↳ _ynln: 😐😐

p1rateking_luffy: LOOKS SO GOOD @blackleg.sanji MAKE THIS TODAY IM HUNGRY 😋😋 (liked by _ynln)

lovenami: win rate 100% (liked by CAPTAIN.KIIIID)

↳ lovenami: @_ynln lets hang out more!

↳ _ynln: NO WAY YOU'RE EXPLOITING ME NAMI 🤨🤨

♡ liked by killerrr, CAPTAIN.KIIIID and 27 others

priv.ynn: i love u so much, happy one year kill <3

killerrr: i love you too my love ❤️❤️

↳ _ynln: stop ur making me blush IQUFWJGVIVWFOF

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: bro yn u looking hella goof in the second photo

↳ priv.ynn: clown ahhh

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: goofy ahhh

↳ killerrr: stop arguing all the time ahhh

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: yall better get married or else i suffered for a whole year for NOTHING (liked by killerrr)

lovenami: CUTEST COUPLE!!!!!!!!! (liked by priv.ynn, killerrr)

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xeeroo08 · 1 year

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Astro observations 《3》

Disclaimer : Not an astrologer, take it with a grain of salt, only for fun.

🫧 Asteroid Orma in 8th house might be the people to leave an impression of being hella reserved in a mysterious way. Like they might tell you a story and you will always feel like there is something more to it.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house people often say something offending without meaning to and regret the very next second. Trust me it's not their fault, they wanted to say something else and ended up saying something totally unexpected. They also feel guilty about it for days and feel sad that they might have come off rude for no reason.

🫧 Neptune conjuct ascendant, they are the real chameleons. They can mold themselves as per the situation demands. Ngl it comes handy sometimes. Like I remember when I was in 6th grade I was caught into a very serious matter but I pretended as if nothing happened and flew away. When the other guys rattled me out to the teacher, she said It's impossible that I was involved and that she doesn't believe them. She didn't hear a single word against me. Lol no, I wasn't her favorite student or something. It's just that I had maintained a certain reputation among different sect of people as per my own convenience. Call it manipulation if you want, if that doesn't explain the planet itself.

🪩 Pluto trine Lilith, it's not always sexuality that comes to the mind when we hear about these folk. Lilith here is aware that pluto is her benefactor. But it takes time for her to feel comfortable in her own domain. She is powerful here and knows what she wants. Definitely won't take anyone's bullshit. Her transformation can be scary and ruthless if someone tries to pin her down.

🫧 Jupiter sextile Pluto have a deep interest in forbidden things. Learning things that often people consider taboo is their thrill. They may or may not share the knowledge but they are always resourceful about topics relatated to dark themes of life. Feel free to discuss anything with them, they won't judge you infact they will help you inhance your own boundaries. You will be surprised how normal they'll sound while talking about things that might trigger other people even if they have gone through the same.

🪩 The one guy I had a Aphrodite-Eros synastry with made me feel like...idk strange. I was on a constant pedestal. I cared a lot about him. His Eros conjucted my Aphrodite and I looked out for him a lot. There was a thick sexual tension but also comfort. He also made me get a taste of jealousy. Which I don't usually feel. I used to constantly compare myself with the girls he used to interact with. We were not dating but I just couldn't help but feel insecure. Not because of him....idk why I was acting like that when I knew I was pretty enough.

🫧 Mars opposite Venus people get sudden mood swings from doing absolutely nothing to doing everything in next one hour. Oh and they'll do it again if it ain't asthetically pleasing to the eye.

🪩 Sun sextile Saturn, trust me they do know how to control themselves and take things with a grain of salt. Their ego is well maintained and not fragile unlike others. Very understanding and real mature people.

🫧 Sun sextile/trine Moon are the most compassionate and intuned with their selves. They know themselves better than anyone else. Also they always know exactly what they are feeling at any given time. Even if they are depressed at some point they won't give up easily.

🪩 Neptune negatively aspecting Saturn, dreaming big is easy, isn't it? But when you start implanting those dreams in real life your dreams remain dreams only. Don't worry though. It's a lesson. Don't give up, try harder. Dream as big as you want but at the end of the day remember to open your eyes and start afresh with new motivation. And please don't listen to those who tell you to quit it down. Your dreams are not weird or impossible or too much. Those people are just jealous because of how big your ambitions are and how far you are willing to go for it. Don't restrict your imagination for someone else. Believe yourself, you can do it!

🫧 Pluto in 10th house solar return chart can indicate a huge change in academic life or anywhere you are working at. For better or worse you better take precautions before hand. I am having it this year with mars in 3rd house and trust me from an above average student my grades are becoming poor. If I were to describe my graph I can see it coming downhill like a water slide which is creating quite an impression on my parents as well as my teachers. Note the sarcasm.

🪩 Saturn in 7th house could indicate having no interest in relationships at first or people being afraid to ask you out but when you grow up, settle well, you find yourself looking for your better half, resulting in either meeting them late or doing an arrange marriage.

🫧 Saturn opposite ascendant are the people who often get told that they look unapproachable on first glance. Kind of the 'out of league' vibe surrounds them. Which is not always true but I have noticed people do think twice before approaching them. These sweeties are also damn soft on the inside but for only those who do dare to talk to them. They rarely take the initiative themselves. But come ask help from them and they will risk their lives for you.

🪩 Mercury aspecting chiron could indicate healing your wounds by diving into the world of books. You might like to read or write journals when you are feeling down. There might be a small diary or pages that you have written when you were at your lowest. Its also possible that you start writing a novel or something to help you voice out your pain through written words.

🫧 Sun conjuct asteroid Medusa. Damn! You could have curly hair or hairs that are a lot wavy, thick and voluminated. Highly blessed in hair department. Many people might have praised you or complimented on your hair from a very young age. This could also indiacte a lot of body hair. From top to bottom you have body hair and trust me its not a bad thing. Its a blessing of being powerful, embrace it. It's just a hunch but some may have complimented you on that too.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house can't watch porn without audio or no communication during the deed. They always want to hear the sounds, no, they NeeD to hear the sounds raw! Only visuals is boring for them just as adding some weird music to the video. No, its not creating the mood, its ruining my experience, pls stop it.

🫧 You don't wanna hear someone moan who has their personal planets conjucting asteroid Sirene. Trust me you will get addicted. Its insane and I am not bluffing. Their voice may or may not be as addictive in general but in bed? Or when they want to take something from you? You will be trapped even before you blink. It's dangerous.

🪩 What's with Taurus Mars and Laziness? So much potential and still they study few hours before exam, complete assignments few minutes before submission and still have the audacity to say they will easily pass. Like bro if that's how you pass then I can't imagine how you will top....

🫧 Moon in 4th house people are highly invested in family matters. Family comes first to them and then the rest. The kind of people to tolerate an unhappy married life for the sake of their kids because they can't see their family being split apart.

🪩 Mars aspecting Pluto. It doesn't matter if it is positively aspected or negatively aspected, there is a lot of pent up frustration and anger issues underneath this placement. If provoked or underdeveloped could result in a very sudden and violent rage from this person. Better to leave them alone in such situations.

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

Hi Aquarius!

I had an idea I wanted to share with you: SAGU creator reader who likes to make little bits and bobs for their acolytes. For example, Childe vaguely mentions that his gloves are starting to wear out? The creator crochets or knits him a new pair-Can’t have his fingers getting chilled in the Snezneyan snow now can we?

(I just wanna give my skrunklis lil gifts and make them happy is all :3)

(Also, could I possibly be 💌anon?)

WHOFOHNJDFjhkbfsgddf Genuine keyboard slam i just kinda slammed my hands down in excitement ahem-

That would be a lovely idea anon, yes very much so indeed,

so im like hella into giving ppl useful but still aesthetic/pretty gifts, like i dont want the things i give ppl to be things that get donated/thrown away (when i genuinely care abt a person)

Also IF I DIDNT RUN U OFF FOR BEING SO LATE YES HELLO U CAN DEFINITELY BE 💌 ANON THATS SO CUTE I LOVE THAT EMOJI-

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cutenss

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: Everybody from elements Pyro, Electro and Anemo! Plus Aether/Lumine/Dainsleif!

Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen + Up Audiences Advised, light cussing

& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

SO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS

THIS IS MY JAMMMMM, MY PB&J BITCHEESSSS GET REKTT

☆

AHAHAHAHA- YOU’RE ALL GETTIN SPAMMED WITH JUST GIFT IDEAS I HAVE FOR WHAT TO GIVE THEM- YOU DO NOT HAVE CHOICE. YOU WILL BE GIVING GIFTS TO THE TEYVATIANS, THEY DESERVE GOOD THINGS. SUCK IT.

EDIT 9/19/23: WTF HELLO??!!! 1000+ NOTES??!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH?!!!!!! <3

PART 1 (you're here!) / PART 2

ELEMENTS HERE: Babygirls, Pyro, Electro, Anemo

☆

Babygirls:

Aether = The most beautiful, amazing, sleek, and functional pretty hairpin that is also a knife! So he can have that badass moment of unsheathing it from his hair and having a surprise weapon and showing off his long hair, acted all shy when you gave it to him, he doesn’t get gifts often, all the birthday letters were for you afterall, i feel like you deffo have walked in on him miming taking it out all badass for practice lol

Lumine = bless her, you handed her this gift and she just looked up at you and u swear didnt blink or look away for a full minute. Then she nearly crushed you to death squeezing you, god she’s muscular, as you made a sort of self-care kit, including her favorite scents you added to like blank soaps/face masks, and towels you initialed with “Lumi”, she deserves a break afterall (and she thinks you deserve it too, and subtly tries to get you to join like *“*oh this is so sweet, something for us to do together”)

Dainsleif = sad little man deserves happy little things, you make him a weighted blanket, in these blankets it’s usually like sand or something that is put into little like quilt squares so it evenly distributes weight, but you used that water from the fountain that soothes Khaenri’ah people’s curse instead. He literally went speechless when you gave it to him. He has not had a single night of insomnia since. He would literally do anything for you, and literally stole you off to the side after a few nights of good sleep to tell you this lmao

Pyro Allogenes:

Diluc = Another bitch who just needs a break, you steal him off one evening and tell him you need a hilichurl camp wiped out, and there’s a cryo mage so you need him, bc thats the only way this workaholic is actually gonna drop everything and actually take care of himself, you have to deceive him, and then surprise him by showing him a hot spring you found. Teyvat has a lot more things to it now that it’s in real life, and that includes natural hot springs apparantly, and you’ve already prepped the place too, with his favorite non-alcoholic drinks, some indulgent foods like chocolate and fruits, and a soft robe. Man’s went wide eyed and nearly fell in LMAO, and then, looking away all pink, said he couldn’t accept this… unless you joined him.

Amber = a pair of comfy shoes, with baron bunny decorated all over them, like you sewed patches over them to personalize it, and the insoles are GODLY good, so she can run to Sumeru at this rate and her feet will feel like she went for a light jog! Some Mondstadt citizens, and knights tbh, are honestly a little afraid of Amber now bc her feet aching was sometimes the only thing stopping her from going 100% all the time lol

Bennett = a lucky charm, yes, yes, I know, basic, but it’s different coming from you! You’ve given him a bandana to wear as a neckerchief around his throat (it’s unprotected and he’s that unlucky?!) and it fits great, you’ve made it from Liyue materials, and imbued it with geo energy, so it actually makes a small shield/barrier around his head lmao, he’s practically thanking you every week and telling you how it helped him that week 💀

Klee = a treasure hunt map you made! every little stop/treasure gives her some candy or a snack, plus the next instructions, and she insists you go with her, and drags you along lol, and you planted them within range of the Mondstadt so she’s not too far off, and the final treasure (bc u planned it so she was supposed to start at a certain time/get to the end in a few hours) she finds at late sunset, and it’s a type of challenge that u were able to make, (bc apparently being the “highest god” means u get dev access, like the teapot functions but more OP). It makes a rainbow of glowing fish appear as targets to better Klee’s bomb throwing skills, and to entertain her, she gives the most dramatic gasp ever, and is just vibrating telling you “The fishes! They’re so pretty! ‘Bedo said that you give the greatest gifts, and he was so, so, so SO right!! Thank you very much!!!” :D in her cute little voice and then proceeds to speedrun you a hug and then starts throwing bombs lmao

Xiangling = HOO BOY- she has nearly every cooking utensil known to man, thanks to her being a young famous chef, and bc her family’s restaurant makes good money bc of it, so it was hard to think of something for her, but you eventually made her a handwritten and sewn together recipe book (look up “how to make zine”, its very easy actually, theres one with sewing the paper and a smaller one with just folding). It’s full of all of your favorites from Earth and what you think could substitute here, and how it should taste. Xiangling literally took your hands and spun you bc she hates luxury stuff, and really loves and appreciates homemade gifts, it’s the first anyone’s heard of your homeworld’s food so it makes her feel special <3 (she will be constantly harassing you with a spoonful of food to try and see if it’s close)

Hu Tao = You remembered one of Shakespeare’s plays and wrote a rough screenplay for Yunjin to adapt, then took Hu Tao with you to see it! She loves poetry and singing, so she loves to see Yunjin play usually, but she hadn’t had the time lately bc of funeral spirit work, (u also brought Zhongli so she could have fun embarrassing him lol), and she literally made a whole bit/joke about getting down on one knee to marry you, which was promptly interrupted by said embarrassed adepti, people even clapped lmao

Xinyan = You made her an aweinspiring outfit to wear onstage, modeled after classic rockstars from your world, she nearly teared up at the sight of it, and then nearly took ur ear out bc she was getting so loud and excited, u try to convince her otherwise, but Xinyan refuses to wear it outside of big occasions like Lantern Rite or performances with Yunjin (looks like this, I tried very hard ok, check it: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/76631631152377154/)

Yanfei = Once again, a written book, or at least 20 rap songs for her to look through. This sounds weird, but she eventually hopes to see a future where people are just better at obeying laws and considers then she’d be out of a job. So, after seeing some of Xinyan’s performances, she decided her back up career would be a rapper. She will literally stop you every time she sees you and lowkey force you to hear her latest rap she’s made, partially inspired from the Earth ones you gave her a lot of the time! She literally talked your ear off for hours, and didnt realize that she linked arms with you at one point and made you both walk at least 3 miles around the port lol, very embarrassed but grateful for the gift, another person who really adores homemade stuff

Thoma = you sewed him a cute plushie of Taromaru, along with a little plushie tea cup set. He literally covered his mouth in shock, and turned away, were those tears?? Very carefully took his gift and nearly bent in half bowing and thanking you for the gift, and was cutely touchy all day, linking arms, guiding you by gently nudging your back in crowds, etc. You once woke him up out a day nap on accident trying to find him, and he walked out half-asleep clutching the plushie Taromaru and nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sight of you lol, all like “HIGH EMPEROR?! OH MY- Oh my gods- Uh- sorry, so sorry about that!” and then proceeds to immediately hide Taro behind his back all red in the face lmao, refuses to acknowledge it, will get even redder if you keep pressing him about it lol

Yoimiya = so Yoimiya canonically really loves to go out into nature and explore, and go for that sunset hike type of person! so you, once again assume all these thru tutorial or teyvat craftsmen help, made her a hammock! She’s apparently really bad about falling asleep outside, and since hammocks can be really lightweight and good for temperate weather (ive tried it, sleepin in a hammock for camping its kinda nice, as long as you dont fall out/toss and turn a lot in ur sleep), and you even added some extra ropes on the sides so she can tie it down and not upend herself while she’s sleeping (keeps the hammock from tilting). She literally squealed and dragged u all over Inazuma trying it out with you, and because she chats with her neighbors/community a lot, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU GOT HER A HAMMOCK, YOU PAINTED IT AND EVERYTHING, DID YOU KNOW YOIMIYA IS ONE OF THE ALLOGENES THAT GOT BLESS WITH A PERSONAL GIFT FROM THE ALL-GOD??!! - everyone in Inazuma near her house, including yoimiya

Dehya = so Dehya likes to upkeep personal hygiene as much as she can between her mercenary job roughness and the general battery of the desert. She also is known to stop by the market place to pick up makeup and other personal hygiene products! So you figured if she’s collected so many of those over time, she might just have a practical bag to carry them in, and you offer her a multi-pocket cloth bag (like for taking makeup when you travel bags) and also attach a mirror inside! She literally covered her face with her hands and Dunyazard lightly teased her for weeekkssss lmao, and the other guys in her mercenary group like “wowww, someone managed to tame the Flame Mane?” which just makes her more shy bc the God of ALL decided to HANDMAKE her a gift, and not just a frilly thing, an ACTUAL USEFUL PRETTY GIFT- she accidentally set her claymore alight when you finished explaining what it was and handed to her (it’s fireproof too)

Electro Allogenes:

Lisa = a decorated tea set! Specifically, you painted it her favorite color, with some of her favorite book quotes across the saucers and her favorite flowers across the teapot. She gave you the prettiest smile, and just “Oh cutie! For little old me? You’re a bit above a librarian like me, but I’ll still accept this with all the grace of a lady courted, haha!” insists on “trying them out” with you all the time, especially when you get too busy from the other allogenes <3

Fischl (they/them Fischl supremacy) = You made a book cover (like how some books will have the paper sleeve and the actual hardcover is just colored? like that) of Prinzessin der Verteilung, but looking a lot more like them rather then the old protagonist! They collectively lost their mind over it for literal weeks, and did the same for you for your most relatable protagonist! :D They insist you two start a fantasy book club now- NO they don’t care if you’re the All Fürst! That makes you all the more qualified for joining the elite literature society they’re starting!

Razor = a bunch of hair ties! You’ve made scrunchies, bows, clips, etc. for him to try and decorate his hair with, all of things he likes, like little wolf puppies, or Andrius’ but cuteified, little symbols of all his friends like little bomb design hairclips for Klee, a red four leaf clover for Benny, a purple rose for Lisa, a golden star for the traveler, and an eight pointed star, like the four-pointed one but with some flare in between its points. A prominent symbol apparently associated with you u found out :0, Razor is giving Barbara and Klee a run for their money bc of how cute he looks walking into town for Lisa’s lessons with all this cute little clips and hair ties and braids in his hair now <3

Keqing = you know. you know EXACTLY what to give her. Plushies of cute animals or creatures in or around Liyue, like the little snow foxes from Dragonspire, a tiny oceanid, the small geovishaps, etc. Keqing doesn’t care if you’re a god, remember! So you better swear to never tell a soul you made her these!! …she sleeps with them too.

Raiden Shogun (puppet) = what to give a cold hard b*tch? …a break. you talk to Ei and make her give the puppet some off days, and you also may or may not have bullied Ei for being a hermit, so she can explore and learn more about herself, instead of being forced into the image, literally, of her god. She tries to write you months in advance for making plans on her days off so you can join her!

Ei (god) = an open window bc she’s a hermit, i mean of course you bring her out on “updates” (she weirdly choked a little over tea when you presented this idea to her, “Ahem- cough- a date? Oh, as in getting more familiar with the world, yes of course,” you basically pull out a map and take her to other countries so she can see how the other gods are doing these days and finally do something new, she is overwhelmed but in a good way? And she's especially willing to do it if you keep calling them that, these “up-dates”

Yae Miko = you were honestly kind of intimidated by giving Yae Miko a handmade gift, it just seemed like she would like something of high quality, which your gifts weren’t always guaranteed to be. So instead, you didn’t. You made a cool little picnic, and in remembering her love of stories from her lore as a kid, you brought some of your world’s stories to show her, the classics, then any favorites of yours, and some you thought she might like, and read them all to her about once a week. You both talk about and discuss the book and let Yae nitpick it and try to give her more context for books like Shakespeare in hope to answer all her detailed questions about the stories. Yae was so fucking smug (and secretly so in love) that she wrote a story for Yae Publishing House about it… “Joining a Book Club with the Akitsu Mikami, a Romance Novel” 💀

Sara = damn another busy woman, you steal her away with the promise of “needing a body guard” and she immediately answers and drops everything (u made sure to choose a slow day, dw ur not a rude god) andddd you’ve got her! Sara literally just stood there in shock when you showed up at your meeting place with homecooked food, specifically new recipes from your world, and some recipes from Xiangling! She would not stop stuttering out thanks yous the entire time, and fumbled with her chopsticks constantly, and she ate a lot, and even shyly asked if she could take some of it with her for later, now anytime you mention food around her she unintentionally starts looking at you with puppy dog eyes, (baby crow eyes??) even if the rest of her posture is perfect/gives nothing away lol

Beidou = A hand woven wine cask holder! a bit more solid so you can paint some designs on it, and you painted the whole crew, with Kazuha in the crow’s nest and Beidou is the biggest figure on it (stylized, u arent trying to paint a renaissance artwork here) and you even put her name on it “Captain Beidou” :) You were rewarded with a tall muscular woman squeezing you with her muscular arms, Beidou only puts her best wine/sake bottle in it, and only uses it for special occasions! she may or may not have had to make sure and hide it in her Captain’s quarters so other pirates won’t steal it, since everybody on the seas heard about the All Mighty giving her a personalized gift, but dont worry! She’s a pirate captain, she’s used to defending her most prized treasures from others <3

Shinobu = a spa day for another overworking woman, you made her another mask and hair tie! They still match her of course, but they also subtly have that eight point star symbol you’ve had associated with yourself before (like the four point but with a little flare), and she literally went so red, she hid behind Itto for a second. who helped morally support her enough to try it on, and it’s definitely her most comfortable mask!

Cyno = you were a little… embarrassed to make this one, but Cyno mentioned wanting it so… You made a TCG card of yourself. With the world in your hands as you hover in the middle of a solar system, you paint yourself giving a small smile down at Teyvat’s world cupped in your hands. One of the symbols they associate with you, the eight pointed star, not equal points, but rather a four pointed star with embellishments, said symbol glows and dangles from a necklace you wear, above it all. You swear he stared at it for a solid minute without blinking, and when you initially offered it, Cyno held it like it was spun glass. He gently laid it on a table nearby, his eyes never leaving it as he got out his deck, and put the card of you, on the very top. The mahamatra then gently set it down, and then gently hugged you and picked you up off your feet a bit (when you said maybe you were too heavy for this, he just raised an eyebrow, and that’s when you remembered that trailer of him throwing a body-builder man, one-armed, over his shoulder. He easily lifted you and set you back down. 💀)

Dori = A herb garden. Strange, but Dori’s sister has a lot of medical issues, and the herbs can be hard to come by, even for Dori, you didn’t tell her that you read some parts of her life, but when she saw the planter box, she knew. You had ventured far and wide, all over Teyvat, and the stuff you had came with you! so you put one of every herb you had or went out and got some because you’ve been exploring Teyvat anyway. And for once… you made sure no one was around, Dori teared up. She carefully set the box full of lively plants aside, and you were in the middle of explaining how to take care of them when she just, wrapped her smaller frame around your lower legs. You squatted down to hug her back :’)

Anemo Allogenes:

Venti = another book you made (look up “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) that you filled with all the lyrics to all your favorite songs, and some classics! The bard was ecstatic because he technically had vague knowledge or recognition of most of Teyvat’s songs, but songs from another world didn’t count, hehe! …he may or may not have lightly guilt-tripped you into trying to sing or hum some of the tunes or melodies of the songs, “I need to hear the melody so I may play it for you for eternity, your highness!” That’s his gift back, is that now you can get a Venti medieval sounding cover version of any song you like lmao

Sucrose = you’ve made another book (bought in Teyvat or made, check out “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s easy so I think you could feasibly handmake it!) and filled it with as much information as you can on how things like electricity works, luckily you can still retrieve information from Earth thanks to Albedo managing to somehow get you a signal?? You don’t wanna know, but point is, she’s literally spiraling. It’s been days, Albedo had to be the one to drag her out of the lab and eat, while you are starting to doubt if your gift did more harm then help… as soon as you voice these thoughts to Sucrose she nearly shook your head off from shaking your shoulders so hard while she ranted about phones, telephone poles, paved roads and she actually offered books back in exchange, for leveling allogenes up, as long as you told her more about “Those ships that go underwater again?? Please, Your Highness???” cute puppy dog eyes but worse bc she’s got cute glasses on too, oh no-

Jean = another workaholic woman who just needs a break, god why are there so many of them?? Your first thought was a spa day, but you like to think you can do better than that. In fact, she’s had a pretty heavy load since she was a kid trying to uphold the Gunnhildr clan’s name/knighthood, so you decide that instead of spa day, you should have a fun day! So you decide to take her out some days for some fun around Mondstadt (and recruit Venti to help do things like boost the winds for extra fun), like shield surfing! (look up Breath of the Wild shield surfing video if you dont know what i mean), it's something a lot of young knights do, and it’s perfect for Mondstadt’s hilly landscape! Other things like flying kites, or even rerouting all her work for part of the Windblume festival so she could enjoy it more! THEN you kidnap her all over again, and Barbara, to go to Fontaine! What better way for her to have genuine fun than getting a break to see and have fun with her younger sister and go see a colorful circus/fair? Jean was literally just a constant stream of “thank you your majesty! my gracious god, thank you- this is too much-, All-Fürst I am forever indebted to you for this!” and ur just like :/ Jean that’s the whole point of a gift is that you aren’t indebted to somebody-

Xiao = a friendship bracelet :) since he likes jewelry, and he likes you, it's perfect! and u made it match his necklace. you’ve also put that same water from the fountain that soothes the Khaenri’ah’s curse, and put it in there, and it actually lessens his karma, so for the first time in about 2 centuries, Xiao the Yaksha, can actually sleep through the night. You weren’t looking, but when you turned away to show him your sketches or plans for how to craft it, he sort of, reached out. You felt his hand warm on your wrist before it retreated, you could already feel the callouses, as the small weight of a bracelet was wrapped around your hand, his return gift, so u guys could match 👉👈 Xiao breathes out what sounds like all those years of pain in one shaky, relieved, “…thank you” (he did all that while you were turned around in your bag too, he was too shy to look at you when he put it on lmao)

Kazuha = “So this is what you’ve been up to lately, hm?” Kazuha’s been kind and laidback enough that he’s one of the allogenes who quickly dropped the formal titles luckily. He’s been seeing you sneak around and present your gifts to the others… and he came prepared in case you came to give him something too! Before you can even get out, “Hey, Kazuha, do you have a minute? I’ve got something for y-” boom. He’s beat you to it, he’s saying the same damn thing, and pulling out his gift for you. It’s a lovely Inazuman outfit, decked out in your favorite color, it’s like if you were an Inazuman character yourself- You just accept it half in shock, while Kazuha gives this small smile, but u can see the smug little look in his eyes, that little shit he really prepared a countermove- HE EVEN WROTE YOU REALLY SWEET POETRY AND EMBROIDERED IT INTO SOME OF THE INSIDE HEM LINES LIKE THE COLLAR -//////- ← you rn as Kazu’s all fucking smug, you end up just being like “take ur crummy gift u little shit” and nearly throw it at him lol, sweet asshole that he is, catches it anyway, and you’ve made him new hair ties, some minimal clips that look like maple leaves (like felt fabric stuck onto the clip bit) and the new hairtie is more like a scrunchie with a pretty red knot on top, your own symbol of an eight-pointed star, like an extra four-pointed star not the star of david lmao, sits in the center of the traditional japanese knot. He wears it nearly all the time, and mentions making you one to match (>:/ sweet considerate little shit he is)

Sayu = you’ve made her a quilt! stitched together from all sorts of cute fabrics, so it still matches her color scheme, she wraps up in it now before going into that balled up tanuki form lol, she insists you break it in with her and take a nap with her constantly lmao, and you give in even if you dont always sleep because of her tiny half-asleep smile (sayu knows the grip she has on you lol💔)

Heizou = a mystery novel a friendship necklace! you knew him and his friend had once had something similar, (they were more like matching river rocks or pebbles not jewelry you think) so you desperately hoped it wouldn’t be too offensive. The little shit who saw it coming #2, whereas Kazuha suspected you might offer him something, he didn’t have quite the same intution that Heizou did, so the detective knew you were going to give him something >:/ little snitch- he was so smug and teasing about it right up until he actually saw the necklace, it draped lower so it didnt look weird with his choker, and it was a pretty crystal you’d gotten from a riverbed (you didnt tell Heizou bc of the similarity w/his old friend, but he knew anyway) and he immediately looked the most serious you’ve ever seen him. His grin was less of a smirk and more of a smile when he processed what you gave him, and he wears it all the time :) Calls it his "God blessed good luck charm"

Scara/Wanderer = It was very hard, and you had to learn how from a blacksmith, but you finally got it! You made a small addon that latches onto the outside frame of his Vision, so instead of the sort of teardrop shape it has, you’ve made a heart shape. Since he sees the vision as his heart, you thought it’d be cute to actually see it that way! He was all like “I don’t wear jewelry, I already have some metal holding my Vision, are you trying to embarrass me?” You: “okay, well you don’t have to keep it, I’ll take it back-” Scara: “No? Shut up it’s mine now.” He went pink the first time he put it on, and he only wears it when it’s just you two, or you both and Nahida (bless her, she only lightly teased him, just enough to have him yell a little, not enough to discourage him)

Faruzan = a compass that points towards ruins/magical places, so she can explore all the ruins the desert has to give, and also, more importantly, guides her out, you deffo relied on a blacksmith for this one, and got Nahida to help you add the magic to it. She just got this, soft and bittersweet? look on her face, and redirected the nostalgic look towards you, bowed gently and thanked you, … you offered her a hug. Faruzan accepted, and you could feel the way she exhaled, relieved.

☆

(Throws this garbage at you really late and runs away to my bed)

Hope u liked literally any of that! ;-;

Also im not done as you can see! Im doing all the elements bc i love these skrunklies-

☆

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#another mammoth of a post that wouldve just been ONE LMAO #but i saved u from that chaos bc i rlly wanted to post and i was getting impatient #😗✌️#look out for part2!#genshin sagau #sagau #my asks #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin reader insert #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin #✨️forgot all my tags again✨️#genshin platonic #genshin women x reader

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kakiastro · 2 months

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Chilled Astrology Observations

Hey y’all! You good? I’m sorry I’ve been MIA lately, I needed a break from everything for a while. While I’m still taking a break, I will start to post more content back up. I’ll be doing schedule post instead of mostly live ones.

So this a chilled post, so sit back and relax. These are just observation so if it don’t resonates then let it fly.

Libra Placements

-I believe the reason why libras has a hard time making decision’s is because they can see all sides to things. They have the ability to see the perspective of different point views and find them validated. So what happens, they struggle to pick a side because both sides have a point. They need to lean into their sister sign energy Aries and make a concrete decision. Now it may not be the right decision but you picked one based off of what you think is fair and just. Why do you think so many judges have libra or heavy Venus energy in their chart.

-I feel like Libras is more of a socialite than Leo’s. Leo’s are good with people due to their warm nature but libras are just naturally charming to everyone they meet. Everyone knows them but in the same breath, they can create a lot of enemies. Libras are sweet but don’t underestimate them, they can quickly turn into their sister Aries real quick. That passive aggressive energy is scary chile

Capricorn Placements

-most Capricorns but particularly Capricorn risings definitely has had a Mars type of upbringing. They have an Aries 4h so that’s where the Mars energy is coming from. It’s like the line from Sophia from the Color Purple “All my life I had to fight” because they have. Risings in particular had to learn what it means to be independent at a young age. It’s also weird because even though they were independent at a young age, they were heavily restricted. This is why so many of them are considered late bloomers because as they get older, the more freedom they have. Once they start having financial and physical freedom is when it starts to look up for them. Their 30s is when their lives actually start for the better. Aquarius is one sign over which rules their 2h of money.

-Capricorn Suns go through this but there’s a little different process. Most of their restriction growing up was trying to figure out who they are in the world. They may have looked up to lots of elders like grandparents. Much of their identity was created by the elders they looked up too. This is why Caps have “old person” energy about them because that’s who they looked up to as children. Cap Suns growing up may have a small view of the world until they start to see the world and have a spiritual awakening. This usually happens around 23-25ish, heavy on 24. 24 is considered your 1h protection year. It’s also your Jupiter return so trying to figure out who they are in this world

Pisces placements

-I’m probably about to make a few Scorpio placements mad but I feel like Pisces people are way more mysterious than Scorpios. Every Scorpio person I’ve met were actually very bubbly and open. They just naturally have this intense energy but they’re not scary people at all! Now Pisces, it’s like trying to understand the depths of the ocean lol. Y’all are hella mysterious and brooding. Pisces, I swear y’all live different lives everyday😅. Pisces moons and risings are the hardest to read for me.

Synastry

-Moon/Chiron, so if you have this aspect with anyone, you all trigger and heal each other. The Moon person soothe the Chiron person wounds. It’s like when our moms hold us after we get hurt “it’s gonna be alright hunny” type of energy. The Chiron person feels validated but also feel open with sharing those wounds to the moon person. Now the Chiron person can trigger the moon person to work on their own healing. Chíron brings up the things the moon person has repressed that needs to be healed. Depending on the person, if the moon is open to healing and working on themselves, then this can really be a beautiful aspect. If not, then the moon person can lash out emotionally and it can cause riff in the connection.

-Sun/Moon, this is one of my favorite aspects! The Sun person sees the emotional needs of the moon. The moon person sees the Sun for the beautiful person they are. The luminaries see each other because they light each others world. How beautiful is that🥹

Sagittarius placements

- sag people, y’all need to take breaks from the world. I noticed sag people can really feel the weight of the world on their shoulders to the point it messes up your psyche (Scorpio 12h). Sag is ruled by Jupiter which rules over world affairs. It also rules over mass media. I’m not telling you to completely shut the world out but take breaks and ground yourself.

#astrology #astrology community #knowledge #love astrology #astro observations #birth chart #advanced astrology #kakiastro #tropical astrology

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 10 months

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darilaros (princess) │ Chapter 2: Dolls

terms of endearment ‘verse: see my Masterlist for the correct series order!

Chapter 1 │Chapter 2 │Chapter 3 │Chapter 4 │Chapter 5 │Chapter 6 │Chapter 7 │Chapter 8 (COMPLETE!)

Synopsis: As the second daughter of King Viserys, you experience firsthand what it means to belong to the House of the Dragon. You attend your very first tourney in celebration of your brother or sister’s impending arrival.

Hello! My apologies for the wait. There was a whole mess of stuff that killed my drive to write for a few days. BUT, I’ve managed to write this one, featuring baby!Babey as a POV character! I’ve tried hard to keep it in a ‘small person’ voice, which got real old real fast, lol. Keep in mind that she’s around 3 years old in this one, so she’s not hella mature or anything. My thanks to @ewanmitchellcrumbs for reading this asshole over, lol.

TRIGGERS: child doing child things, child narrating Episode 1 of HotD, character death.

“Ah,” Mama says. “Rhaenyra!”

From your place on the floor in the corner, right in the middle of a patch of sunlight, you see that ’Nyra has come. It’s not nice to have your story interrupted, but ’Nyra’s visits are always fun, so you don’t mind. She is dressed the way she does when she goes to visit Syrax, which means she will smell funny and make Mama cross.

“You know I don’t like you to go flying while I'm in this condition,” Mama adds.

“You don't like me to go flying while you're in any condition.”

Alicent, ’Nyra’s best friend, stands in the doorway. She is very very pretty, you think, with red hair like Hana’s and a blue dress that makes her look like a girl from one of the old stories you like to listen to. “Your Grace,” she says, smiling.

“Good morrow, Alicent.” Mama sighs. She sounds very tired. She has put her coat back on, even though it’s so hot in the room and she’s fanning herself to try and dry the sweat on her cheeks and her brow.

“Did you sleep?” ’Nyra asks.

Mama laughs, quick and soft. “I slept.”

“How long?” ’Nyra takes a seat on the stool beside Mama’s feet.

“I don’t need mothering, Rhaenyra.”

“Well, here you are, surrounded by attendants, all focused on the babe. Someone has to attend to you.”

That is when Mama’s eyes go to you. “I have my own right here, so there is no need to fear.”

’Nyra turns to look, too. Her frown goes away and she smiles, wiggling her fingers at you to say ��hello’. Even though she’s your sister and that means you love her, you don’t go over to her. She is older, so she doesn’t care very much about dolls or stories or little sisters who don’t have dragons.

Mama keeps talking to ’Nyra while you listen. “You will lie in this bed soon enough, Rhaenyra. This discomfort is how we serve the Realm.” None of it makes sense, but you like the sound of their voices.

’Nyra makes a rude noise. “I'd rather serve as a knight and ride to battle and glory.”

Mama laughs. “We have royal wombs, you and your sister and I. The childbed is our battlefield. We must learn to face it with a stiff lip.”

Why would a child’s bed be a battlefield? My bed is nice and big. And what is a stiff lip? Is it something that Maester Mellos should give his herbs for? Are there bones in a lip? Can those bones break like big bones can?

You have lots of questions, but you don’t say what you’re thinking out loud, of course. The Maester only said you could be in here if you were good, so you mustn’t talk unless Mama asks you something or starts saying things to you.

“Now,” Mama says to ’Nyra, “take a bath. You stink of dragon.”

’Nyra stands up and bends down to kiss Mama on her head. Then, she comes over to you and gets on the floor so she can give you a hug and a kiss, and she is warm and smelly like Mama said she is. You like the smell, though, because it is what ’Nyra always smells like.

’Nyra leaves with Alicent, and for a while it is very calm. Mama takes a nap by closing her eyes and leaning with her head back, so you make sure to be very quiet when you continue telling yourself the story.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl called Hana. Hana was the prettiest girl in the whole kingdom, and she wore fancy dresses with gold and silver necklaces and rings, and she had a pearl hairnet in her red hair. There was also another girl called Marya who was very pretty too, but not as pretty as Hana. When Hana and Marya were little, they were best friends, and they played dolls and sang hymns and learned their letters together. But when they became older, they started to fight.

Marya was jealous of Hana. Lords from all over the kingdom wanted to marry her because of how pretty and how kind she was. That meant that not many lords wanted to marry Marya, even though she had lovely dark hair and knew all the names of the Houses and could sing even better than Hana did! So, Marya thought and thought about how she could make more lords want to marry her. She decided to hide all of Hana’s nicest dresses and shiniest jewels.

Naughty, naughty Marya. That’s not how proper ladies act. It was very nasty of you to—

“What are you and your ladies up to?”

You don’t like being interrupted for a second time, but it is Mama who is asking. Everyone’s been using soft voices since ’Nyra came to make a fuss and then left to wash the dragon-stink off. Mama’s question is louder than them all, so it must be for you.

Turning your head, you see that she is looking at you with a small smile.

“Marya hid Hana’s dresses and her best necklace and rings,” you say, holding her up high so Mama can see. You frown at the doll. “She needs to say sorry, so I’m telling her to.”

Mama laughs, but you don’t know why. “Oh, dear. How unkind of her! Why did Marya do such a thing?”

“All the lords want to marry Hana,” you say, “and not Marya. She’s very angry, but—but it’s not Hana’s fault. So I’m going to tell her that, too.”

“My, my.” Mama looks tired, like she has ever since baby Baelon-or-Visenya started growing in her belly, but she still seems happy that you’re here. Her eyes are warm the way they get when she sees you. “Quite a responsibility, you have.”

You nod. “I’m her Mama, like you’re mine. I have to teach her to be good.”

This makes Mama smile even wider. She holds her hand out to you, so you put Marya down beside Hana, making sure they’re not too close together. It would be bad if they started fighting after you’ve been busy telling Marya off so much. Making sure your skirts are neat like a proper lady, you go to take Mama’s hand, letting her pull you close-close so that you have to get up onto the daybed with her. Her skin is hot like fire is when you get too near it.

“Are you going to teach your little brother or sister to be good, too?” she asks, bringing your hand to her belly. When you touch it, you feel the kicking. It’s like a tapping from under a very thick blanket.

“Yes, Mama. I promise. I’ll sing all the hymns so they learn them, and make sure they eat all their supper, and—and say ‘no running’ and ‘no hitting’ and give them lots of hugs and tell—tell them they are naughty if they don’t liste—”

“Well,” she says even louder, smiling so wide you can see her teeth, “you already sound like a wonderful big sister, my dearest.”

Then, a new voice speaks out from the doorway, catching your interest. “Hakorje mandia kesā, sīlāvose.”

It’s one of your favourite people in the whole world.

You scramble out of Mama’s hold, nearly tripping over your dress. “Kepus!”

He chuckles as you race toward him, arm out so that he can catch you and lift you up. Mama hasn’t been able to do that since her belly became big, and Papa is too busy now. Oh, how you’ve missed it!

Uncle Daemon sits you on his hip so that you can stare straight at his face, at the way his eyes scrunch up with how much his mouth stretches. “What about you, Princess? Have you been a good girl since last I saw you?” he asks.

“I’m always good, kepus,” you say, pushing out your bottom lip to show how rude you think his question is. “But—but you haven’t. You’re naughty. You’ve been gone for so, so, so long!”

Even though his brow raises, he sounds like he finds you funny. “Ah-ah. A moon’s turn, nothing more or less, is all the time I’ve spent away. I was here for your name day celebrations, was I not?”

“That was ages ago!”

There were lots of people in the Keep for the party, and you don’t think you really knew most of them. But, because Papa is King and you are a Princess, they were invited to come and wish you a happy name day and give you gifts and eat and drink lots. It was nice at first, but the more they ate and drank, the louder they got, and soon you had to sneak off and find Uncle so that he could take you back to your rooms where it was quiet. He sang a song in High Valyrian, the language that your House has spoken for thousands of years, so that you could fall asleep even after eating so many little frosted cakes. Soon, you had to say farewell to him because he had to go back to Runestone and visit his lady wife, the one he hate-hates but Mama says he has to see.

Thinking about High Valyrian makes you stop. You can’t speak it, but there are some parts you know. Kicking Uncle in the side for being rude, you say, “And—and I’m not ann—annoying. I’m good!”

He looks sorry when you say that. “Of course you are. And I hope you’ll forgive me for returning after such a long time.” Behind his back where you can’t see is his other arm. He brings it out, showing you what he was hiding in his hand.

Oh! A new doll! And this one is special because it has pale hair and purple eyes just like you!

“Please accept this as a token of my apology, sweetling,” Uncle Daemon says, offering it to you. “Perhaps—Marya and Hana, was it?—could do with another friend.”

“Thank you, kepus!” Keeping your new doll pinned between you and Uncle, you wrap your arms around his neck so so tight and squeeze so he can feel how happy you are! You kiss him on the cheek, wiggling very close and smiling when he squeezes you back just as tight. “Thank you, thank you! I missed you so much!”

“Silly girl.”

Uncle pats you on the back once, twice, and then crouches down so that you can stand on your own two feet again. Sometimes, this makes you sad, because his hugs are your favourite and you wish they would never end. But he has to say ‘hello’ to Mama, too. Besides, you have a new lady to introduce!

“How about you play,” he says, “while I speak with Mama?”

“Okay!” You’re already thinking about it anyway.

When you go back to Marya and Hana, you can see that they’ve been good girls and not moved at all. You rearrange them both so that they are sitting, and place your new doll—Alysanne, you decide, after Papa and Uncle’s grandmama—between them, fussing with their hair so that it lies neatly. They are very pretty, you think, red and dark and silver all together.

“And how is Lady Rhea?” Mama is asking, brow lifting.

Uncle makes a noise and curls his lip meanly. “Who the fuck—who cares?” he says, rolling his eyes when you gasp. He said a bad word. “It’s not as though we spent any time in each other’s presence. Think I’d rather the company of sheep, anyway.”

“You were there for an entire moon’s turn, Daemon”—Mama frowns the way she does when ’Nyra says something rude, and ’Nyra does that a lot—“and you refused to even speak with her? She’s your wife.”

“Not one I chose. You would know that all too well, cousin.”

Mama goes quiet, looking to you. Uncle does, too. Then, she starts whispering to Uncle, and Uncle whispers back, and you return to your game.

Dolls make far more sense than people do.

You don’t like tourneys. You don’t like them at all.

It’s loud, and hot, and there are too many smells—of different perfumes all swirling around and clogging in your nose, of dirt and manure from the ground below, of something sharp that clings to the walls that box you in and shield you from being able to see anything interesting. The horns ring out and so many people cheer that it feels like a buzzing in your head. It makes your teeth hurt.

“Be welcome!”

Papa looks happy today, so much happier than he was the last time Mama said a babe was in her belly. That babe was dead, she told you. It went away from inside her and never came back. That’s what death is, and everyone is very, very afraid of it all the time. But you didn��t know that babe like you know Mama and Papa and ’Nyra and Uncle, so you weren’t sad or scared. You wonder if this babe will go away, too.

The sound of clapping is like thunder. “I know many of you have travelled long leagues to be at these games,” he says. “But I promise, you will not be disappointed.”

You watch from beside Papa as ’Nyra sneaks to her seat, but she is not so sneaky because she is wearing a bright red dress that looks beautiful. She sits beside Alicent, her friend and Lord Hightower’s daughter, and tries to make herself small in her chair so that Papa won’t get angry.

After a pause, he keeps speaking. “When I look at the fine knights in these lists, I see a group without equal in our histories. And this great day has been made more auspicious by the news that I am happy to share—Queen Aemma has begun her labours!”

There is so much noise that you have to hold your hands over your ears to quiet it just a little bit. Brella pats your shoulder, trying to make you feel better.

“It’s alright, Princess. We can play in just a moment—how about that?”

“I want Mama,” you say sadly, your bottom lip wobbling and your eyes feeling hot like they do when you really want to cry.

Mama has been locked in her chambers since last evening, when the Maester said the babe was nearly ready to come out. You asked and asked Papa, but he wouldn’t let you in to see her. When the door had opened and you tried to go inside, you were too surprised to move at the sound of her yelling. You think that the babe must have been hurting her very, very much. It makes you afraid. But then, Uncle took you away to your rooms and read you a story in High Valyrian, which sounded nice even though you didn’t understand it all.

“May the luck of the Seven shine upon all combatants!” You are not listening to Papa’s words very closely.

“Soon, Princess,” Brella says, stopping for a moment when the horns echo out again. “You must wait for the babe to be born, first. How exciting—a new little brother, all for you!”

You don’t want a brother if it means that Mama has to be in pain. Papa would be very happy—you are three whole name days but you still know he wants the babe to be a boy and not a girl, that you were supposed to be a boy and he was sad you were only a second daughter—but you are happy with the way things are.

It would be very rude to say so in front of Papa, so you keep quiet and nod, letting your nursemaid bring you off your seat and down to the floor so that you may sit amongst Alysanne and Hana and Marya.

It has been very difficult to teach Marya to be nice to Alysanne, because she doesn’t like it when Hana makes new friends and Alysanne is a very pretty new friend. But she has decided she rather likes Alysanne after all, and so you can serve their tea without being scared of anyone being silly or bad to each other. Brella is very helpful in braiding Marya’s hair to look like ’Nyra’s does, and then she pins Hana’s back like Alicent’s. You decide that Alysanne should have hair that looks like yours because you look nearly the same, like she is your baby and you are her mama.

You are interrupted very quickly when Septa Marlow bends forward to speak straight into Brella’s ear. “It is unseemly to coddle her so. She is nearing the end of her infancy—you ought to be preparing her to pass over into my care, not indulging in frivolities!”

You shiver. Septa Marlow is mean. The last time that ’Nyra said something rude to her, she was rapped across the palm by Septa’s willow switch. It left a bright red mark that made you cry when you saw it, but ’Nyra only muttered something nasty under her breath and smiled in a not-very-kind way. You wish you could be as brave as her.

“When she is five summers old, she will pass into your care,” Brella says. It is polite, but the way she looks at Septa makes you think she is not being so nice after all. “Until then, I shall do as I see fit. And that means allowing the Princess to indulge in these frivolities while she can.”

Septa wants to say something rude back, you can tell—but then, the whispers start. It makes you look out onto the field so that you can see what’s happening.

“… of House Targaryen, Prince of the City, will now choose his first opponent!”

Uncle rides out on his horse—a great stallion named Varlet that you sometimes give apples to if he is very, very good and doesn’t buck anyone out of the saddle—wearing his nicest armour with the tail of feathers that comes out of the helmet. You think it makes him look a bit like a bird from one of those old books in the library. Uncle takes Varlet up and down the line of men on their own horses, but you don’t know why. You cannot see his face.

Your dolls don’t seem very exciting anymore. You pass them back to Brella and move past Papa to where ’Nyra sits at the very front. Even though there is an empty seat next to Alicent, you go to ’Nyra anyway.

All you have to do is hold up your arms to her and she smiles. “Do you want to see Uncle’s bout?” she asks.

“Yeah,” you say, nodding. You can hear the sound of hooves on the dirt, which means you are missing it, so you stamp your feet and wiggle. Maybe she will hurry up if you do. “Please, please!”

“Oh, alright.” She rolls her eyes and lifts you up so that you can sit on her lap, tucking her head next to yours and wrapping her arms tight around you so you don’t fall off. She is warm like Caraxes and Syrax are, like a dragon, only this time she doesn’t smell like smoke and rotting meat but like flowers and soap. “Can you see?”

You look down. Uncle is at one end of the field and the man he has chosen—Ser Gwayne, you think, from the green he has on and the funny shape of his helmet, like a tower—on the other, their jousting poles held out in front of them. “I can see,” you say.

When Uncle and Ser Gwayne start riding, you really do try to keep your eyes open. But, as they get closer and closer, you cannot help but shut them because you don’t want to see anyone get hurt, or worse—the horses. Sometimes, it happens. All you can see is the insides of your eyelids when a big CLANG happens, but ’Nyra doesn’t clap so you think it might not be finished yet. Then, you hear a horse neigh and a big thud, and lots of applause. This time, ’Nyra does clap, so you open your eyes and see that Uncle is still on Varlet but Ser Gwayne is on the ground.

Your sister stops clapping when she sees Alicent with her hand over her mouth. Ser Gwayne is her brother, so she must be very worried for him. You reach out and pat her arm, which makes her stop and stare at you for a moment before giving you a small smile. ’Nyra grabs at her hand, too, which seems to help.

Uncle brings Varlet right up to the balcony with his jousting pole all the way up high, so ’Nyra puts you down and grips your shoulder to steer you forward. You are still very small, so the railing is too tall for you to reach, and that means you could fall very easily if you lean too far down. You grab onto your sister’s skirts.

“Nicely done, Uncle,” she says, holding onto the rail.

“Thank you, Princess.” Uncle looks at you, and his face changes—he is friendly now where he wasn’t exactly when he was looking at ’Nyra. He doesn’t say anything to you, but he does wink, which makes you giggle and him smile. He turns to Alicent. “Now, I’m fairly certain I can win these games, Lady Alicent. Having your favour would all but assure it.”

She goes toward the table where two wreaths lay, one for her and one for ’Nyra. You are not old enough for your own yet, or so Papa says. Taking the green one in her fingers, she comes back to the balcony. Instead of putting the wreath on the jousting pole, though, she holds it out to you. “Perhaps your niece would like to give you my favour?”

Beaming, you accept the wreath and let Alicent pick you up under the arms. It doesn’t feel very nice, but it makes you tall enough to put the favour over the pole and watch it slide all the way down to the bottom, near where Uncle is holding it. He grins, then rides away to have another bout.

’Nyra takes you back to where she was sitting, placing you back on her knee. “Are you going to thank Alicent? She was very nice, letting you give Uncle her favour.”

“Thank you, Alicent,” you say.

She brushes some of your hair out of your eyes. “You’re welcome, Princess.”

You find it strange when Papa rises from his chair after something Lord Hightower says in his ear, a troubled look on his face. He was the one who had been the most excited about the tourney, so why is he getting up to leave?

’Nyra doesn’t notice, holding tight to you when you start squirming. For a while, you stay with her—but the jousting starts to get frightening. When the knights knock each other off their horses, they start using swords and axes and maces and trying to really hurt each other, striking and kicking so hard that it makes your heart race really fast in your chest and your belly rock like it does when you need to be sick. To take your mind off it, you start listening to Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys talking to each other.

“…and we expect them to act with honour and grace,” the Princess is saying to her husband. The sound of her voice makes you shiver a little. Whenever she stares at you, it is unkind. You don’t think she likes you very much. “It’s a marvel that war didn't break out at first blood.”

Everyone gasps when the knight below brings his axe down on the man below him, hitting him over and over so that blood sprays everywhere. The man twitches at first, then goes still, the dirt below him turning dark red very quickly.

You cry and cry, loud and ugly. You don’t like it here anymore. You want to go back to the Keep and find Mama and let her hug you until this cold, awful feeling goes away and warmth and happiness comes back.

“Nurse!” ’Nyra says, but you aren’t really listening. You can see that people are pointing at you from the stands and whispering, which makes you even more upset because you truly tried to be good and quiet and not make a fuss this time.

“Oh, Princess.” Brella lifts you off of ’Nyra’s lap and carries you to the back of the royal box, past Papa’s Councilmen and all the lords and ladies that are gathered, heading toward the stairs. “Come now, my sweet. Time for a nap, don’t you think?”

“I want Mama,” is all you can say. “I want my mama!”

It is darker than normal when you wake up from your nap. Usually, the sun is still up, the colour of Papa’s crown as it shines through your window, hot and blinding even though supper is not far away. But now, you have to blink a few times before you realise that you cannot see because night has come.

Your chambers are empty, save one other.

“Papa?” you ask, rubbing your eyes and yawning. You can just barely see him through the shadows. “What—what—”

There is a sharp clack and a fizzle of orange fire, which Papa cups in his hand and takes to the candle beside your bed. As he lights a small flame, you look at his face. Even in the darkness, you can see how sad he is, the shine that forms lines down his cheeks and the red puff of the skin around his eyes.

Oh, no. Something bad has happened. Something… something terrible.

“Whe—where’s Mama?” you ask, voice wobbly. It feels like a hand has reached down through your throat and your stomach to peel your insides out, to turn it all over so that you’re bleeding and broken where the Maester cannot see. “Mama—”

“Sh, my girl.” He is trying to sound soft and kind, but you hear how he cracks a little, how the words seem almost stuck on the tip of his tongue. “Listen to me. Come here.”

You still don’t know why it is, but the rule of life is that you obey ’Nyra who obeys Mama who obeys Papa, which means that you have to obey Mama and Papa even when the others aren’t there. So, when Papa asks you to do something, you have to listen. You’re a good girl, after all.

Kicking away the covers that have made you too-too warm, you crawl on your hands and knees to the edge of the bed where Papa sits. He is solid and real under your fingers, smelling like the Maester’s medicines as always, but also like something sour. Like metal.

He grabs you and puts you on his knee like ’Nyra did before, during the tourney, only the hand on your back is large-large, almost covering from your neck to your bottom. You can feel his thumb moving up and down as he speaks, up and down, up and down.

“Something… something has happened. To Mama,” he says, taking lots of pauses and shaking under you like he is cold. You reach up to pat his face. Your hand comes away wet.

“Is she okay?” you ask. That horrible feeling comes back, and you have to swallow so that you don’t get sick all over Papa. “Where is Mama?”

“Mama… she couldn’t bring the babe out. A boy—Baelon.” This time, you can hear him cry, but it’s quick, not long and loud like yours.

A brother. I have a baby brother. It doesn’t feel very special or interesting. Maybe meeting the babe will make you more excited?

“Where is he?”

Papa cries more. “He… he lived for three hours. Three. Then he—”

“—died.” That’s the word for when someone goes through death. Papa didn’t look like he could say it, but you can. “Sorry,” you tell him quietly. You know how much he wanted a boy. “Mama must be sad, too.”

“She—she—Mama didn’t survive the birth.”

You frown. What does that mean? “So… she is sick?”

Papa shakes his head, eyes scrunching. “No.”

“Where is she, then? I want to say ‘sorry’ to her, too.”

“She—died. She’s dead, my girl. Only, she passed before Baelon.”

You have to stop and really think, think so hard that your head hurts and you feel dizzy from holding your breath. Being dead means going away and never coming back. Mama is dead. Which means…

After Papa says those terrible, awful, horrible words, he pushes his nose into your hair and hugs you so so tight until you feel his tears sliding over your head. You hug him back, pressing your face to his chest and letting his shirt soak up all the crying from your eyes. You don’t know if you understand it all—but you know one thing for certain, one thing that makes you cold and sick and afraid.

Mama went away. Mama will never come back.

Mama is gone.

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zepskies · 1 year

Text

Break Me Down - Part 6

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

AN: This chapter is a heavy one, but ultimately shifts her relationship with Ben…

Word Count: 6,700 Trigger Warnings: (18+ only.) Attempted sexual assault, violence, mentions of domestic violence, torture, and past trauma. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff.

Part 6: A Hot Meal

Frank informed you the next morning that Simone, the new chef, had to call in sick. Apparently she’d slipped a disk in her back after yesterday’s festivities.

Poor thing. You wished her a safe recovery, and an STD panel.

But that left you and a handful of hungry men gathered in the kitchen like stray cats.

Soldier Boy’s crew was a mere few. Some were former military, all were gruff, grisly-looking guys.

Frank was their leader, stocky and stoic, and an ex-Marine from the Dominican Republic. Followed closely by Saul, who was a taller blonde from Idaho, and ex-Navy.

Then there was Lorenzo, appropriately nicknamed “Loco,” who reminded you the most of Frenchie. Loco was Colombian, lean, and covered in tattoos, but generally the most laid back and always cracking jokes (dirty or otherwise).

You’d learned that he’d been in the same unit as Frank. And he was the one who took the second shift on watching you in the beginning of your imprisonment.

And finally, there was asshole Tony, the only true local. But you didn’t hold that against the rest of Colombia.

He at least was still sleeping after an all-night job, according to Frank.

You assumed Ben was still in bed as well, because he hadn’t yet graced you all with his presence.

The rest of them were staring into either the fridge or the pantry, trying to work out breakfast.

“I could whip up some eggs,” Loco said.

“You mean those rubbery shits you made yesterday?” Saul quipped. Loco frowned, but shrugged in admission.

“We’ve got cereal,” Frank pointed out.

“Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” Loco asked hopefully.

“Raisin Bran.”

“Maldito hijueputa. I can’t live like this.”

You watched them fumble around like they’d never seen the contents of a fridge before, shaking your head in disbelief. Were all men really this helpless?

You sighed and stood up from your stool at the breakfast bar.

“All right, guys. Step aside,” you said. “My powers are limited, but I can attempt an omelet of some kind.”

Frank discreetly let out a relieved breath, while Loco made fervent Catholic blessings to the Virgin Mary. Saul seemed to be reserving his judgment until he tasted said meal.

You smiled and took out two cartons of eggs, some evaporated milk, onions, garlic, ham and cheese, and some fresh spinach you found in the vegetable drawer. Then you rooted through the pantry and found the seasonings you needed, like sea salt, pepper, and oregano.

Yvette taught you this recipe, and it was one you’d been successful with before. So it stood to reason that you could do it again.

Within half an hour, you were serving sections of two massive omelets to each man (seriously, it might as well have been a quiche), with a generous portion for yourself. Though you still saved a large piece for Ben…and yes, even Tony.

Loco took a huge bite and moaned. Saul frowned in disgust and shot a fist into his shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up, man,” he reproached.

“But it’s hella good,” Loco said, rubbing his shoulder. He offered you two thumbs up and a wide smile. “Gracias, corazón.”

“You’re very welcome,” you said with a laugh, and fought hard not to blush in embarrassment. Frank gave you a rare, conspiring smile.

Who would’ve thought a hot meal could make you friends among criminals?

“Even Saul’s got nothing to complain about,” Frank remarked, noting the other man’s silence in his thoughtful chewing. Until Loco teasingly prodded him in the side with a fork.

Saul made a sound of irritation around a mouthful of food and fended him off with a warning look (and a threatening butterknife).

Loco tsked. “You have to untighten your asshole, my friend. You will give yourself a hemorrhoid.”

“You are my hemorrhoid,” Saul snapped.

You stifled a giggle.

Frank wore a deadpan look, but amusement still glinted in his eyes.

“He’s just mad because Loco put peanut butter in his gun last night,” Frank told you in a lowered voice. But Saul still heard it, because his frown deepened while Loco’s grin edged into a smirk.

“You know how hard it is to unjam that shit out of the slide?” Saul said. “Even the safety’s clamming up now.”

“Shit, I should’a put jam too!” Loco said. “PB&J in a barrel, no?”

Saul punched his shoulder again in the same spot as before. Loco made a pained sound, but took the abuse with a good-natured smirk.

“Very mature,” you laughed quietly.

“Fucking children,” Frank agreed, with a sip of his coffee. But something told you that he was fond of these assholes.

And that’s how Ben found you all.

He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, for a moment just watching his crew eating, joking, laughing—with you at the center of it all.

He’d been standing here long enough without them noticing that he was actually getting annoyed, until Frank finally looked over and straightened a bit.

“Sir,” he said. All eyes in the room went to Ben, who raised a brow and strolled in with a casual, lazy gait. He nodded at his men, who all greeted him back with respect.

He noted you tightening up too, your expression turning more careful as you lowered your eyes and continued eating.

There was something about it that annoyed him. But he ignored that for now, in favor of heading over to the pan on the stove.

“Your plate is over here,” you mentioned, sliding over his breakfast. “Coffee’s still hot in the carafe.”

Ben flashed you a sly smile. “All right, sweetheart. Why don’t you get me a cup?”

He knew you’d frown, just like that, with annoyance glinting in your eyes. Try as you might, you couldn’t hide it all the time—your stubbornness. You were mouthy too, with an answer for fucking everything.

But when he took the proffered plate and tried the eggs, he raised his brows in pleasant surprise.

“Okay. So you can cook,” he said. “Good to know.”

You raised a brow at that, but you handed him a mug of black coffee. He took a sip and made a face of disgust.

“Jesus, could at least put some sugar in there.” He passed it back to you. “Fix that for me, would ya?”

Your brow twitched again, but you took the mug wordlessly. Saul got up from his seat at the bar and washed his plate in the sink himself before he left, followed by Loco, who thanked you one more time before he followed Saul’s lead.

You gave Ben his coffee while you started putting the leftovers away and soaking the pan in the sink. When Ben next took a sip, he coughed as his tongue was assaulted by sweetness. He shot you an irritated look.

“What the fuck is this?” he snapped.

You looked over at him with widening eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Too sweet?”

Your face was all innocence, but he was starting to figure you out. He caught a gleam of satisfaction in your eyes. His lips twitched, not sure if they wanted to smirk in amusement or frown in annoyance at your audacity.

Ben glanced over at Frank, who stood near you with an empty plate. Clearing his throat, Frank set his plate in the sink and also washed it himself.

Ben dumped his coffee there and gave Frank a look—one that said to fuck off.

His subordinate actually hesitated, making Ben’s frown deepen. But the man eventually left you and Ben alone while you finished up the dishes and Ben ate his breakfast. He didn’t mind complimenting the chef.

“You surprise me, sweetheart. Now, if you start cooking more often than you eat up the pantry, I may need to keep you around,” he remarked teasingly. And he dumped his plate into the sink while you were busy washing the large pans you’d used.

It was meant to be a joke. He’d said worse things to you before and you’d volleyed back playfully, or at worst case, brushed it off. So the way your head whipped towards him with a glare managed to take him by surprise.

“Maybe if you put as much energy into feeding yourself as you do into fucking your way through South America, you wouldn’t be such a helpless asshole,” you said.

It changed the air in the room, making it tense as Ben raised his brows at you. He straightened to his full height and approached where you stood at the kitchen sink.

“Care to fucking rephrase that?” he asked.

Did this bitch really just call him helpless?

You had one hand on the counter, maybe to steady yourself. Your chin took on a defiant tilt as you stared up at him and crossed your arms.

“At least your team has the decency to say thank you,” you snapped. “You can’t even be bothered. What are we, your fucking slaves? Should the whole fucking world bow to suck your wrinkly dick?”

Your vitriol somewhat put him on his heels. He stared at you, incredulous.

“I knew that doe-eyed Mary routine was a fucking show,” Ben growled. “Behold the salty cunt underneath. When yesterday, I know for a fact you were contemplating sucking on my cock like the fucking slut you are.”

Your expression became enraged. You aimed to slap him, with even your nails poised to scratch at his eyes, but he knew the attempt would hurt you far more than it’d hurt him. He grabbed your wrist and threw it away from him.

You huffed, irate beyond belief, and tried to walk away from him before you said anything else you’d regret.

But Ben’s hand closed on your arm again and whipped you around. You saw the anger in his eyes, the effort he was making to hold himself back. You both knew that with just a fraction of strength, he could crush you. He could end the game.

You were angry enough right now that you didn’t care.

“Do it,” you challenged. “Bat me around until I act right. You supes call yourselves heroes, but I don’t see anything noble about you.”

Instead of your arm, Ben gripped the counter next to you as his nostrils flared. His fingers bit into the tiles, cracking through them and making you flinch.

“Go to your fucking room,” he ordered. “Before I take you up on that offer.”

Before he loses his shit, you interpreted.

Your sister’s words again managed to cut through the red of your temper.

Protect yourself.

You hesitated, trying to slow your breath. Then, you lowered your eyes. And you scurried back to your room.

You only released your tears when you were blessedly alone.

Meanwhile, Ben was fucking fuming. He took it out on a potted plant, smashing it on the kitchen counter. He watched the fractals of clay spin off like bobble tops and the soil scatter across tile and in the sink.

All the while, he refused to actually acknowledge how your words had affected him—other than infuriating him.

You were stubborn, with a smart goddamn mouth. You clearly hated him, and not just because you tried to help Butcher put him back to sleep.

But he’d been spotting hints of attraction behind your blushes, whenever he teased you. He was mollified, slightly, with the knowledge that your body was interested, even if your mind was having a hard time being persuaded.

Ben could work with that.

But another part of him wondered…what the fuck was it about this girl?

Why does it matter if she’s fucking into me or not? What the fuck do I care? He certainly wasn’t wanting for pussy.

He should’ve gotten rid of you a long time ago. In fact, he should’ve shipped you back to Butcher, better yet, with a bullet through your skull so his band of morons would get the message…

But there was something about you. He’d known it from the moment he saw you in that club. When you broke dumbass Tony’s foot with that lethal goddamn heel, wearing black leather and a sexy gleam of confidence in your eyes as you walked away.

To continue your hunt for Soldier Boy.

If Ben was honest with himself, (and he wasn’t), you had a fire he just didn’t want to dim.

You were avoiding him. That was obvious. And maybe Ben was avoiding you too, a bit.

He whittled away the next couple of days with lines of coke, weed, and booze, among other things. Still, none of it managed to dull his mind enough to get a full night’s sleep. Because every time he closed his eyes, he dreamed of being in a metal coffin, unable to pry his eyelids open.

Most of it was flashes of memory mixed with nightmares. Of being frozen and defrosted, his head held underwater just to see how long he could go without breathing.

Being electrocuted on every surface of his skin to see which parts of him were more sensitive than others, less or more durable. What affected him more, bullets or acid, electricity or burning.

Then the serums that lit his blood on fire, making him feel like his bones were liquifying from the inside out…

Ben would wake in his large bed, covered in sweat. And it took a hell of a lot to even make him dewy.

The problem was, this was happening more often. Thanks to his abilities though, he was able to function on less sleep than most people anyway.

At night, sometimes he walked through the dark and empty halls of this huge fucking mansion that felt empty as shit, even when he crossed one of his men.

Sometimes, he wondered what it was all for—the long years of his life. Sometimes he wondered why he was still here, with no team, no family, no fame, and no real fucking life.

In the morning, after he cleared through the brain fog of post-drugging, Ben wandered downstairs and slurped down a mug of coffee.

Simone was back, and she dutifully put together a frittata for him. Really, he was craving some plainer eggs and bacon, but this would do, he guessed.

After he finished eating, he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do. The drugs were starting to bore him, as were the women, if he was honest.

Ben ventured near the French doors leading to the backyard. He noticed you sitting outside in the garden, surrounded by little yellow flowers. Your mouth was moving, but he could barely hear you.

Slowly he opened the door, so you wouldn’t hear him. Ben approached from behind, but didn’t go far. He just got close enough to hear you softly singing, letting the wind carry your voice away. But now he heard you perfectly.

“If I didn’t care, more than words can say…if I didn’t care, would I feel this way?”

You had a good voice, he acknowledged. And just within the safety of his own mind, it reminded him of the way his mom used to hum along with the radio when she cooked.

His mouth quirking, he returned inside and fished for the phone in his pocket. He scrolled through his contacts and found the number for his favorite escort service here in Colombia.

Now that your anger had died down, you were feeling a bit guilty. You felt more than justified in raking Ben over the coals, and when you thought of how he’d snapped back at you, it still made your blood boil…

But somehow, your guilt remained. Maybe there’d been a better way to say those things. A gentler way that his massive ego could accept.

Though you snorted as you walked through the halls that were now second-nature to you. It was late at night, but not too late that your brain could be calmed and cajoled into sleeping.

He doesn’t understand gentle, your mind reasoned. All that gets through his head is brute force. And sometimes, not even then.

But he’d had every chance to lose his temper violently with you. While he’d certainly been an asshole, he hadn’t tried to break you. Just the kitchen counter.

Curiouser and curiouser…

Without meaning to, your feet brought you close to his door. Your hand was poised to knock…but you hesitated.

Then you heard the sounds coming from within, lusty feminine sighs and male grunting, and you grimaced. Memories of your previous experience in opening Ben’s door flit through your mind and made you blush.

Nope, not this time. You made a sound of disgust and backed away from the door, then fled back down the hall.

With a sigh of boredom, you supposed you could use a midnight snack. You’d just have to go it alone this time.

Fine, you thought, suddenly petulant. And you would make something good too. Something that took some effort, and he wouldn’t get a single morsel!

You went down to the kitchen and rifled through to find the ingredients you needed to make one of your mom’s old comforts: chocolate chip muffins. You didn’t have a Betty Crocker box mix, but you thought you remembered Yvette’s recipe to make them from scratch.

You found a mixing bowl and threw in the powdered ingredients first—the flour, baking powder, sugar, salt. Then you added the vanilla extract, the eggs, vegetable oil, milk, and whipped them up into a batter. You dipped a finger in to taste it so far, and you smiled with a pleased hum.

“Whatever you’re making, it already smells good.”

Your smile fell as you looked up. Tony walked into the kitchen with his booted foot.

You wanted to sigh. What the hell does this bitch want?

His long hair was tucked behind his ears, and he was dressed in tactical gear this time, complete with a belt, though curiously devoid of his gun.

The last time you’d seen him in this ensemble, he’d been kidnapping you. Maybe Soldier Boy sent him off on an “official” errand of some kind, like buying drugs off a cartel or something.

“Good evening,” Tony said with a nod. You nodded back at him, watching him as he approached the kitchen island. You made sure it remained between the two of you as you went to the fridge for some more milk. The batter was a bit too thick.

“What’re you making?” he asked.

“A roast chicken,” you sassed. He shot you a dry look and surveyed the ingredients across the counter. He reached for your open bag of chocolate chips and stole a few, scooping them into his mouth.

Rude, but you didn’t comment. You knew you shouldn’t snipe too much with him.

“Whatever it is, mind saving some for me this time?” he asked. “I heard you made breakfast for the guys the other day.”

“I did saved you some,” you replied. “Not my fault if the self-proclaimed King of Everything ate it all.”

In most ways, Ben was a bottomless pit.

Tony started to curve around the kitchen island. You didn’t miss the move, and you stepped carefully in the other direction.

“What? I just want to grab a beer,” he said, giving you a teasing smirk. “You afraid of me, mi vida?”

You were really sick of men giving you unearned endearments.

“Oh, yeah. Fucking petrified of the one-legged wonder,” you replied. Your voice was dripping with sarcasm. Tony’s sly façade fell into irritation.

There it is, you thought.

“You really are a bitch,” he said tersely.

“Takes one to know one, bitch,” you rejoined. It wasn’t your wittiest comeback, to be sure, but it still seemed to infuriate him. You should’ve been trying to diffuse his temper, not goading him. You just didn’t really think he would try anything after what happened last time.

But you were wrong.

Tony went after you, swifter than you thought possible with that big-ass boot. You muttered a curse and tried to evade him, but he grabbed you by your hair and yanked you back, making you shriek in both surprise and pain.

You had no choice but to twist and aim a shot to his throat with your elbow. While he choked, you aimed another blow to the bridge of his nose, knocking his head back.

You should’ve just fled the kitchen. Guaranteed, you could’ve outrun him. But his audacity made your temper snap. You followed up with a well-lined fist in the same region of his face, once, then twice, and he uttered a shout of pain as you both felt the crunch of his nose breaking.

But then he managed to grab your arm. The two of you grappled, him slipping his foot out of the way when you tried to drive your heel into his boot.

“Can’t get me twice, you fucking cunt,” he hissed, and pulled something from behind his back. Your eyes widened, thinking it was a gun.

And it was a gun. Just not the kind you anticipated.

A shock of electricity ran through your entire body as he tased you in the side, right below your ribs. You convulsed as he did it, unable to move until he relented. It made a few seconds feel like minutes of agony.

You couldn’t even scream. Even when he stopped tasing you, you gasped in air and lost control of your legs.

Tony hooked an arm around your waist and propped you up against the counter. With whatever strength you had, you raised your head, dazed and still in pain as you tried to grasp his shoulder.

He smirked down at you. With one hand, he ripped open your shirt so hard that the fabric burned against your already tingling skin. You gasped as you finally realized what he was about to do.

“Nnn…” you uttered, shoving weakly at his shoulder.

“Shhh,” he said. His cold and lustful blue eyes roved over your heaving breasts still held in your bra, the expanse of your skin. He was able to get a grip of the button on your jeans before you summoned enough strength to fight back.

You shoved your hand against his face, trying to impale his eyes with your nails. But Tony ripped your hand away.

“Fucking bitch. Even now you won’t behave,” he muttered.

He heaved you higher against the counter and pinned you there with a hand wrapped around your throat. He started squeezing, chocking precious air out of your lungs, but you kicked at him, bit your nails into his hand and clawed and fought as hard as you could when he tried prying your legs open with his knee.

You tried crying out, but it was just whimpers making it through his tightening hand around your throat. He got frustrated enough to just break the button on your jeans, ripping the zipper down in the process.

Then, two large hands closed on Tony’s arms.

Both of you looked up and found Ben’s steely green eyes. With a tightening of his jaw and a single upward shift of his grip, Tony’s arms broke. Bone struck through the skin, and the man screamed a horrific, blood curdling sound.

The hand wrapped around your neck released, letting you take in precious air. But that also meant you had nothing propping you up on your shaking legs.

You slumped to the floor against the kitchen island, then watched in horror as Ben grabbed the side of Tony’s face and bashed his head against the counter—over and over until his skull split open.

Nostrils flaring, Ben took in long breaths as Tony’s mangled body fell to the floor in a bloody heap.

Then he turned back to you. Your vision was a bit hazy as you tried to look up at him. Hot tears slipped down your cheeks as he slowly kneeled down to you, and helped you stand up.

“Easy,” he murmured. “You’re all right.”

But you couldn’t stay on your feet.

You made an uneasy sound, and Ben caught you when your legs couldn’t support you. You struggled to raise your head again, but you managed it.

Ben’s eyes roamed over your face and tried to discern what was happening. They held the question that he spoke out loud.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

What’s wrong. What a damn question, you thought.

Blinking, you tried your best to focus on his bearded face.

“He tased me,” you told him through shallow breaths.

Ben’s jaw clenched again, but all he did was nod. After a beat, he swept you up into his arms. You gasped, but he looked down at you in silent question. You nodded and relaxed against him, briefly closing your eyes.

You wouldn’t know how that small gesture affected him as he carried you out of the kitchen. And up the stairs to the second floor, all the way to your room.

He was careful in laying you down on the bed. You were still crying, and now embarrassed for your own modesty as you grabbed a blanket and tried your best to cover yourself, your ruined shirt hanging from your shoulders and all.

By the time you looked back over your shoulder, Ben was gone.

However, a few minutes later there was a knock at your door. You sniffed.

“Who…” you tried to speak, despite the pain and coarseness of your voice. “Who is it?”

“Frank,” came the response. You didn’t know if you wanted him in here.

But after a long moment, he spoke again.

“I’ve got some water for you,” he said through the door.

You licked your dry lips and tried to swallow, even though it hurt. Water, you could definitely use.

With a sigh you said, “Come in.”

Frank entered with a bottle of water and a med kit. You eyed him warily as he dragged a chair over and sat across from you where you laid on your bed.

“Can you sit up?” he asked.

You weren’t entirely convinced that he was here to help you. But his brown eyes were calm and steady, and you didn’t detect a threat in them.

“I was a paramedic before I enlisted,” he said.

You blinked in surprise. You eventually obliged him by sitting up, but you still held the blanket around your body. Ben must’ve filled him in…and sent him to check on you.

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Because every time you thought you had Soldier Boy figured out, the humanity of Ben surprised you.

“Can I see where he tased you?” Frank asked.

Though you hesitated, you opened your blanket enough for him to take a look at your bruised side. Sighing through his nose, Frank nodded. He wore medical gloves, and he raised his hands to prod at your neck.

You whimpered and leaned away from his touch. Frank slowly dropped his hands away from you. His eyes softened.

“You asked about my family,” he said. You gave a belated nod, once you remembered that conversation from a few weeks ago. Had it only been a month since you’d gotten here?

It felt like a year.

Frank held your gaze, and you remembered asking him. Got a family? Wife and kids?

He hadn’t answered you. You’d thought maybe there was a story there. Now you knew for sure that there was.

“I have a daughter,” said Frank. His tone held the weight of sincerity, just as his words held an underlying promise.

Your tears fell. You nodded and allowed him to finish patching you up.

He then left you alone, saying that he would bring you something to eat in a little while. But after the door clicked shut, you allowed yourself to let go.

You mostly spent the next day in your room. Frank came by to check on you, to offer you something to eat. You took what he gave you, but you only nibbled. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to enjoy eating.

You imagined it getting clogged in your throat, as a hand wrapped around it. First Antonio’s, then your father’s hand.

You remembered when you were thirteen years old, and you finally snapped back at him when he tried to cut down your mom again with his drunken cursing.

You remembered the dryness of his hands, one of them closing around your neck and squeezing until you saw black spots encroaching on your vision.

And your mom intervened, threw herself onto him. You held your little sister in the closet. She was far too little to understand what was going on, but she knew it was bad.

You covered her eyes, and you watched through the slits as he beat your mom within an inch of her life.

You remembered fumbling with the landline, whispering into the receiver until police sirens circled through the windows and illuminated the dim house.

You remembered until you had to shut your eyes against memories and hot tears.

It was another day before your room felt like a suffocating cage once again. Night had fallen, according to the TV guide, approaching midnight.

You had to gather your courage, but you got dressed into one of your new plain shirts and jeans (which Ben had bought you, you were reminded).

When your stomach growled, you frowned. You hadn’t been able to keep much down for the past couple of days. Sighing, you reached a hand for the doorknob.

Your fingers hesitated on the brass, but you remembered something Louisa told you the day she graduated from high school.

You hugged her tight with the broadest grin and kissed her cheek. With tears in your eyes, you held up her hand, which held a diploma with honors.

She had a chance to go to college—something you hadn’t had. But you were going to make sure she did.

“You’re a rockstar, Lou. I’m so damn proud of you,” you said. She laughed and wiped a tear from your cheek.

“It’s only because of you,” she said. “You’re a rock, sis. Even when you’re not.”

Your sister was a smart little shit, wise beyond her years. And that had stuck with you ever since.

You’re a rock. Even when you’re not.

Even when that insidious voice inside whispered things. That you were weak, not strong enough, not smart enough. A burden on your family, on your friends. A disappointment. A bitch with an attitude and not much else.

But you sucked in a shaking breath and frowned at yourself, your brows knitting together.

No, you thought stubbornly.

And you opened the door.

With cautious steps you made your way downstairs. You forced yourself to keep walking, your heart rate climbing, until you reached the kitchen.

You didn’t know what you expected, but Ben standing there and staring into the fridge was not it.

It was the first time you’d seen him dressed down, in sweatpants, a soft-looking gray shirt, and some old man loafer slippers. You couldn’t help a smile at the sight.

Maybe he sensed a presence behind him, because he perked up and glanced over his shoulder. Finding you standing there with a small smile, if a bit awkwardly, the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said.

“Hey,” you replied with a nod, and you braved entering the kitchen. It was spotlessly clean, almost as if nothing had happened in this room.

Except for the large section missing from the kitchen counter, revealing the cement underneath. Likely it had been too damaged to be repaired and needed to just be torn out and replaced.

Your gaze roamed across the counter to the spot where you’d been assaulted. You couldn’t help focusing on it, so long that your vision started to glaze over.

Until you realized that Ben was slowly approaching you. He had a beer in hand, which he must’ve grabbed from the fridge. You sucked in a breath and looked up at him.

“You’re up and about pretty late,” he remarked.

“So are you,” you returned with an attempt at a smile. “I got hungry.”

Ben huffed in amusement. “Figures…though not gonna lie, was feeling peckish myself.”

He gestured at the fridge dismissively. “There’s not much.”

He could’ve woken up Simone, you were ready to point out. But maybe, just maybe, something you said had gotten to him. Maybe he’d wanted to just figure it out for himself, but didn’t know where to start.

“Let me take a look,” you said instead. You went first to the pantry and took a brief inventory. “You feeling sweet or savory?”

“Savory,” he replied after a moment. He went over to the breakfast bar and sat down with his beer while you continued to rifle through.

“Hmm, how about spaghetti?” you suggested.

Ben raised a brow. “It’s almost midnight.”

You shot him a small grin. “So? You’re hungry, right?”

You could tell he wasn’t totally into the idea, but he shrugged.

“All right.”

You hummed as you gathered all the ingredients you needed. Ben watched you lay them out across from him on the counter: onions, tomato sauce, various seasonings, and more. He eyed the entire head of garlic you were getting ready to peel.

“Jesus, you tryin’ to kill a vampire or something?” he quipped. You gave him a wry look.

“Have you ever made spaghetti before?” you asked. This was as basic as it came, but the way he was looking at the vegetables told you the entire concept of peeling, cutting, and throwing them together into a pan was foreign to him.

“Probably,” he said with a shrug.

Meaning never, you interpreted. Ben really just had no idea how to cook, you realized. You didn’t understand how a century-old man was so lacking in everyday skills…

But maybe you did. The files neatly stored in your brain reminded you that he’d grown up a rich kid. Very rich. Then after he became Soldier Boy, he’d all too soon reached the pinnacle of fame. He’d made so much money in four decades that he’d probably never needed to do a menial task in his life.

Maybe you could get him to try.

However, you hadn’t realized it until now, but even after a full day, your body hadn’t fully recuperated from what you’d gone through. Maybe it was the latent stress, but you already felt tired, your body heavy.

With a growing idea in your mind, you finished peeling and crushing the garlic and grabbed two onions. You held up one of them for his view.

“Would you mind helping me?” you asked.

Ben sat back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“Do I look like Betty fucking Crocker to you?”

“Do you have to be so rude?” you clipped back. His lips twitched in amusement, until you sighed, and took a break from standing up straight to lean against the counter. Your side was starting to twinge from where you’d been tased.

“What’s the matter now?” he asked. His brows knit together, and you could almost swear you saw concern in his eyes.

But you pressed your lips together. It really pained you to admit it, but…

“Still a bit shaky,” you said, lowering your eyes. “I…honestly don’t know if I can finish this.”

For a moment, Ben just stared at you.

He frowned, then made a sound of annoyance.

“Christ,” he muttered, and finished off his beer before he stood. He took his time coming around the island to meet you.

“Fine,” he deadpanned. “What is it you want?”

A smile grew across your face, bright and grateful. You handed him an onion.

“Peel and chop this, please.”

You made room for him at the cutting board and gestured for him to move in there. Ben considered the onion in his hand and took the knife from you. And after a beat of hesitation, he cut the whole thing in half.

You made a halting sound, lightly touching his wrist. “I’d peel that first if I were you.”

“I know what the fuck I’m doing,” he retorted, but you read the defensiveness in his eyes.

Hiding an amused smile, you relented and let him do it the way he wanted. But you did notice that he started peeling off the first layer of skin before he started cutting again.

Meanwhile, you found a sauce pan in the cupboard and a pot for boiling the pasta. And the two of you fell into a strange, companionable silence while cooking together.

Until you noticed him glancing at your neck. You knew there were bruises there, still purplish, but healing. It reminded you to gather your courage for something else.

“Thank you,” you said, with difficulty. “For…for saving me.”

Ben’s gaze met yours, but all he did was nod. You’d expected him to be his usual cocky self about it.

“Why did you do it?” you asked. He paused in his truly horrendous cutting; irregular pieces of onion were all over the cutting board, but he was still going for the second one.

Then he huffed. “Would you rather I hadn’t?”

“Be serious,” you said, before you could censure yourself. He raised a brow at you.

“You know what?” he said. “Think what you want about me, but I’m not a fucking animal.”

His frown deepened, like he was offended at you just for asking.

Well, fair enough.

So you let it go as the two of you cooked together.

But as Ben was peeling the stubborn hide off the vegetable, it slipped out of his frustrated hands and rolled away. Thankfully it stopped just shy of falling off the counter.

You couldn’t help a small giggle at his expense. He had the strength of twenty men or whatever, but he couldn’t chop an onion to save his life.

Ben shot you a wryly amused look. “Oh, you better not be fucking laughing at me.”

That just made you laugh in earnest, even though you covered your mouth with your hand. His grin deepened at the sound, despite the embarrassment making his face and neck warm up.

He grabbed the hateful head of veg and looked anywhere but you as he got ready to try again. There was no way he was letting you, or this fucking onion, make a fool out of him.

But your soft hand soon covered over his. You offered him a genuine smile, your eyes gleaming.

“Want me to show you a trick I learned?” you asked.

He hesitated, but he eventually moved over and let you in on the action. You took up the knife, held down the onion, and cut the ends off first. Then you were able to more easily peel off the rest of the outer layer.

“You can do this part any way you want, really. But I like to cut it down the middle first, then chop up one half at a time like this,” you explained.

And you felt Ben move in closer behind you to watch your methodical work.

The heat from his proximity actually made you start to blush like a damn school girl. You tried to stamp it down, but heat flared into your cheeks when his hand covered yours and took back the knife.

“All right, all right, I got it. Move over,” he said. You huffed, but you grinned and let him continue…

By the way his eyes later lit up when he tasted the meal, you knew he really did like your cooking. Now, you didn’t want to feed his outdated views on gender roles…but you could admit, seeing him enjoy something so simple as your grandma’s spaghetti recipe was gratifying.

It wasn’t the first time you’d shared a decent moment with Ben. But it was the first time that it hadn’t felt like an act. You didn’t know what to do with that—or the conflicted feeling making your heart ache.

And you certainly didn’t want to find anything about him endearing.

AN: So first of all, sorry for all the angst and TWs in this one. But here lies the end of Tony's fuck ass. ✌🏽 And maybe she's starting to understand (and trust) Ben a bit more...

Next time: Two weeks later, Ben is getting under her skin in the worst (best) way. (AKA: the moment we've all been waiting for...)

You should’ve just pushed him away already…but his nearness was mucking up your good sense.

The truth was, you weren’t afraid of him. Not anymore. And maybe you didn’t hate him.

Maybe…

“Well, what’s it gonna be?” he asked you.

Your lips parted, halting on a reply.

Keep Reading: PART 7

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arlana-likes-to-write · 5 months

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Hey first of all, thank you for your writing! I enjoy reading your work a lot. I wanted to request an addition to the older sister! Reader AU where the avengers manage to catch a person who used to be a high ranking officer in the red room and has a lot of intel. They specifically requests to see reader. And reader goes in and the person is smug and taunts r about everything she did under dreykov and what dreykov did to r. (Hints to a lot of sexual assult trauma, if you dont mind) and r has gotten used to the taunts, having bward plenty during her red room days. Carol though who was outside in the interrogation room with r’s sisters is livid. She is very protective of r and so she comes inside the room angry. But as the person keeps taunting and saying demeaning stuff about r u still remain unaffected but carol cannot take it. I mean thats the idea I had, you could do whatever u want with it! Thanks again. And sorry for the longg request

Mine to Protect

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

There things in this story that be triggering of people, please advise the warnings!

Warnings: heavy description of past sexual experiences (usage of handcuffs, voyeurisms, power dynamic, ) implied sexual assault (uses it to taunt the Reader and Carol), original male character uses pet names from the reader, gross dirty talk, past trauma mentioned, self harm, death of an original character, mention of killing, Carol is hella pissed this this and protective.

Relationships: Carol x Reader, Yelena x Natasha x Reader (Platonic), Avengers x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3.0k

All of your life, you’ve known pain. The pain was physical suffering\ or discomfort. It caused great trouble, and it could be mental or physical. Pain in the Red Room was negative. It was mystery hands that held you down and took whatever they wanted from you. Hours spent at training, at the ballet bar, or forced to kill your fellow Widows because of an order given. You hated pain and all the negative thoughts that came with it.

However, your life changed. It wasn’t contained by the Red Room. You had room to grow, dream, and create the person Dreykov tried to destroy. Now, pain wasn’t always negative. There was pain that morphed into pleasure when Carol bit down on your neck and soothed it with her tongue; a warmth would fill your belly. Sometimes, you went a little too hard as you trained against Steve and felt each punch from the super soldier, but your laughter bounced off the walls. Other times, you brunt your hand when cooking with Wanda or lose an arm wrestling match with Maria. All that pain was good, a reminder that you were free.

You sat outside. The brisk New York fall air filled your lungs. There was an ache in your fingers as you played the guitar. It would take time for callouses to form on your fingers. You heard the door open and close, but it didn’t stop you from humming to the song you were playing. It was Steve, Tony, and Maria. Oh boy. Stopping, you put the guitar beside you and gave the trio your attention. “Why do I smell trouble?” You asked.

“It’s not me,” Tony said, sniffing under his arm. “I showered.” You rolled your eyes at the billionaire.

“Does the name Andrei Lebedev?” You kept your face neutral, but your stomach dropped. That name would forever be in your nightmares.

“Yes, he was part of Dreykov’s second ring. He disappeared when the Red Room fell. He’s been on Melina’s list, but we haven’t been able to locate and deal with him,” you explained.

“Deal with him?” Steve questioned. “So would kill him if you found him?” You huffed in frustration.

“Don’t act all high and mighty, Rogers. These men have power even with the Red Room gone; they are better off dead.” With a vacant spot, there was a fight to be at the top. You and some of the other freed Widows were working on eliminating them before they could gain momentum. You looked at Maria. “What’s going on?” She handed you a file.

“Lebedev was found in New Asgard,” you opened it and saw a mug shot. The man was 6 feet, 5 inches tall. He had striking blue eyes. Unlike the last time you saw him, his dark brown was longer instead of neatly combed. However, a faint beard outlining his jaw gave you the idea that he was going somewhere safe to shave. “He was looking for asylum, but Val thought he was acting odd and brought him in for questioning.”

“Once they learned who he was, Fury had him transferred to us for questioning,” Tony added. You handed back the file.

“What does this have to do with me?” You had a feeling you knew where this was going.

“He won’t talk to anyone, not me, Maria, or Natasha,” Steve said. “He’s asking for you.” Fuck. Of course, he fucking was. God dammit. Why was Wanda away on a mission?

“What do we want from him?” You asked. Killing him would be the easiest solution.

“Fury wants whatever information we can get from him before sending him to the RAFT,” Maria explained. “Will you talk to him?” You sighed, stood up, and grabbed the guitar.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Sometimes you used pain to punish yourself. Your time at the tower was perfect. Self-inflected pain was the best tool you used to remind yourself of the past. Of the blood you shed and the countless lives ended by your hand.

On the other hand, pain helped ground you. A pinch of the skin on your thigh, biting down on your lip, or fingernails digging into your palm. Anything to help you stay present, preventing your mind from slipping away.

You stared at the door that separated you from him, nails digging into your palm. Your sisters and Carol will be watching. There was no fighting them on that. Sighing, you opened the door. “My malen’kiy pauk (little spider),” it had been a long time since you’ve heard someone call you that name. You closed the door. Immediately, pulling the chair away from the table to sit down. “I’ve missed you so much,” he continued. “But our last meeting was a little different,” he moved his handcuffed hands onto the table. The clash of metal echoed in the quiet room. “If I remember correctly, you were the one handcuffed. No matter to me,” he leaned forward. “I do love a change in a power dynamic.”

You crossed your arms against your chest, placed your right leg over your left, and leaned back into the chair. You remembered that day. Andrei Lebedev was part of Dreykov’s second circle or the vtoroy. These men were trusted as handlers and could leave the Red Room on missions or requests from Dreykov or his inner circle. But they were still seen as less than. They aimed to become part of the pervyy, the men closest to Dreykov. Although Dreykov was the face of the Red Room, it was impossible to run it without help. These men had the same amount of power as him; their word was God because you knew Dreykov knew about the order. A majority of the members of the party were killed in the Red Room explosion. The men you were after were part of the vtoroy. If the Red Room remained, Andrei would be part of the pervyy. He was a cable solider, a little hot-headed, but Dreykov would have crushed that spirit into submission. As a mission success, the pervyy granted Andrei’s request: a night with you. It wasn’t the only time you laid underneath this main.

“Being an Avenger looks good on you, kotenok (kitten). It fills you out nicely,” he groaned, licking his lips. “I bet you taste just as sweet. Do you want to be a good girl again? Just for me.” Still, you remained unfazed, face neutral. Men like this loved to talk, to inflate their ego with their sexual conquests. With time, he would reveal everything.

“I think about our time together a lot,” he smiled. “Your moans were music to my ears. They helped me through many lonely nights.” Lonely nights? The phrase stuck out to you for some reason. How many nights was he truly alone? He was freshly shaved and showered; you figured Val wouldn’t give him time alone to do all these things before locking him up. The man disappeared without a trace once the Red Room fell. Not even Melina, with her contacts, could find him. Andrei was bright but needed to be more smart to avoid capture. Who was helping him?

“Come on, baby,” he whined, mimicking a child throwing a tantrum. “Let me hear that voice again. You were very talkative when we last saw each other. I miss it,” his fingers tapped against the table. “Tell me, pretty, can anyone make you cum like I can?”

No one could see how your nails dug into your bicep, nails so sharp you knew it would pierce your skin. Pain. It grounded you, saved you from slipping into memories of that night, and kept your face stoic when all you wanted to do was scream.

As Carol recognized the true strength of her powers, she practiced keeping her emotions in check. Anger was powerful. Her rage could bring down skyscrapers, collapse entire planets, and turn the milky way into chaos if she wasn’t careful. Through her space travels, she witnessed horrible injustices that boiled her blood, ground her teeth, and left her fuming. Still, she kept her anger in check. However, she was struggling. The way this pig spoke to you was disgusting and vile, and you were just taking it. The only time Carol saw you move was when you first entered the room. She wasn’t sure if you were still breathing.

Unlike you, Natasha couldn’t stop pacing. She would get to one side of the viewing room, turn around, and repeat the process. Not even Maria could get her to stop; Carol believed it had to do with Natasha still being upset with her girlfriend. The youngest of the trio was quiet, playing with the ring all three of you shared. A quiet Yelena was never good, in Carol’s opinion. She saw the blonde tense up every time the man said something about her sister. Andrei laughed. “Why don’t you undo these cuffs? We can put on a show one more time before the cart me away. If I remember correctly, zaychonok (bunny), you loved having an audience,” he groaned, eyes rolling in the back of his head. “My little slut. It got you so wet.”

“I’m gonna kill him,” Carol mumbled. All she saw was red. Unlike before, no one was there to protect you; no one was there to tell him to stop. But she was here now. You were hers to protect. She felt her powers itching at the palm of her hands, begging to let loose. It was getting harder to control it, this anger growing inside her. She knew he was still taunting you; maybe she heard Natasha or Maria’s voice, but it was becoming white noise. All of it was pointless besides one singular thought. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” To her surprise, no one stopped her when she left the room.

The door busting open startled you. The hinges barely had enough strength to keep it upright as your girlfriend entered the interrogation room, eyes glowing. Andrei was pulled to his feet and pinned to the wall by her forearm. You saw her entire body shaky. “Oh, is this the pet’s new master,” he teased. There was a shake in his voice as Carol was cutting off air into his lungs. “Tell me, do you pass her around like her old master, or do you keep her to yourself?”

“If you say one more word,” she hissed. “I will crush your windpipe.” You stood up, barely making a sound, but Andrei saw you.

“Oh, this is your lover, isn’t it?” He laughed, gasping slightly. “I’m jealous,” he taunted. “She is a gem—a queen among women. Tell me,” he whispered. “Can you make her scream like I can?”

“I won’t hesitate to paint this wall red with your blood,” you wanted her to do it so this nightmare could end. But it wasn’t the mission. “You can’t hurt her,” Carol continued, putting more pressure on his neck. The man gasped. “She is mine to protect, and I will kill all of you if I have to to keep her safe.” The man smiled, and for the first time entering this room, a chill went down your spine.

“Oh, you think with her living with Earth’s mightiest heroes, she’ll be safe; you are wrong.” Got him. It only took Carol intervening, but he was ready to talk. Gently, you placed a hand on Carol’s shoulder. Her eyes flickered to you.

“It’s okay,” you forced a smile. “Let him go.” You saw the internal debate happen in her eyes. Soon, she released him and threw him back into the chair.

“Power dynamic,” he said, rubbing his throat. A bruise was already forming. “I guess I was wrong about you two.” You sighed and sat down, this time closer to the table. Carol closed the door but stayed in the room, standing in the corner. Your arms were still crossed, and your nails again found the indent in your arm. “You got yourself an impressive guard dog over there. She needs a lesson in obedience.”

“I don’t own her, and she doesn’t own me,” you said. “Who helped you avoid detection after all this time?” He gasped.

“I’m offended you don’t think I could do it alone.”

“You aren’t smart enough, Lebedev,” you deadpanned. “So give me names, or my guard dog will attack.” His eyes glanced at Carol in the corner, and you saw him gulp in fear. Instead of talking, he leaned forward, faces inches apart, and you could feel his breath on your skin. A sharp pinch of your skin kept you present.

“Answer me this, kotenok (kitten). Do you feel safe here?”

“Is that a threat?” You countered.

“Merely a question,” he said. “Do you feel safe here with your sisters close by, Captain America as an ally, and Tony Stark’s super fancy AI keeping watch?” He slammed his hands down, but the sound didn’t scare you. Your nails dug deeper. “Do you feel safe?” He asked again. “Because Oriel Sergeev wasn’t the only person upset when the Red Room fell from the sky.” Oriel Sergeev? He was the man who created that ‘fun’ room.

“Who is helping you?” You asked again. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in the chair.

“I don’t kiss and tell; you should know that. The Red Room provided stability, a balance, and you and those cunts you call sisters broke it,” your jaw clenched. He huffed out a laugh at your reaction. “It’s only a matter of time before bad girls like you get punished.”

You watched Maria and a few other agents lead Andrei to transport. A body collided with you that almost sent you falling to the ground, but Carol’s arm kept you upright. It was Yelena. Her jasmine scent perfume invaded your senses, grounding you further. “Ugh,” you groaned. “I hated that. I hated the way he talked to you.” You chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

“You aren’t the only one,” Natasha said, and you looked past Yelena as the redhead joined the small group. “Carol beat me to it. I was about to go in there and kick his ass.” You heard Carol laugh behind you, kissing the side of your head. “Are you okay?”

“I’m,” you stopped before you lied to them. “No, but I will be,” you sighed, ending the hug with Yelena. “I think I need a shower, then I’ll start feeling better.”

“Do you want me to join you?” Carol asked. You shook your head.

“I just need a moment by myself,” you smiled. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” As you turned to walk back to your room, Yelena grabbed your hand. Spinning you back around and flipping your arm to show everyone the cut on your arm.

“Your bleeding,” she said, and you pulled your arm back.

“It’s nothing, and it will heal by the time I get in the shower,” you saw the unasked questions from all three of them. “I needed to ground myself when I was in there with him. That’s all. I promise I’m okay, and I’ll come to you guys if I need anything.”

A towel was tightly secured around your body as you stepped out of the bathroom. You hated the way his words crawled underneath your skin. No matter how frequently you scrubbed your skin raw, you felt his hands on you. There was a part of you that wanted to track down his escort van and kill him, to watch his blood stain the pavement. Or maybe have Melina take care of it. But you knew if one of the Widows took the job, it would get traced back to you. Still wet from the shower, you sat on your bed and picked up your phone. The number you dialed wasn’t saved in your phone. It was a number you had memorized as Widows kept giving it to you. She answered on the second ring. “My favorite Black Widow,” she said. “What do I owe the pleasure? Have you considered my offer?” You sighed.

“No, Valentina, I’m still not joining your team. I need a favor.” You were speaking as you could hear cars driving by.

“I’m not a charity, darling. Favors will cost you/” You nodded.

“I know, and I’m willing to pay for it,” you stood up and walked into your closet. “I need to put on a hit. His name is Andrei Lebedev. He is currently in SHIELD custody and on his way to the RAFT. I need it done without using any of the Widows you have employed, and not a single agent hurt.” Valentina laughed.

“You are making a lot of demands for someone not in charge,” you dropped the towel and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

“I always repay my debts, you know this?” This wasn’t the first time you’ve asked a favor from her. Her contacts ran deeper than Melina’s, and in this world, information was valuable. But you knew she would do it and come back to you when she needed something. The Widows that worked for her always told you what they did. You had enough dirt to bury the director, but it would hurt your fellow Widows.

“This will cost you, but I’ll get it done.”

“Thank you.”

“Aw, don’t go getting soft on me,” you rolled your eyes. “My offer is always on the table for you. That will never expire,” you huffed.

“Bye, Valentina.” You hung up the phone before she could respond. You refused to join her every time she asked, even when she proclaimed how much money you could make with your skill set. You feared it would be impossible to say no to her one day.

Two days passed when Maria announced that Andrei Lebedev was killed; no agents were hurt in the ambush. The agent’s eyes never left yours when she told everyone the news. Maybe it was bad you didn’t care if she believed you or not when you claimed you had no part in his death—effortlessly passing blame to whoever helped him. His death was one you never lost sleep over. Like you told Steve, these men were better off dead.

#family is more than blood au #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x y/n #black widow sisters #yelena belova x natasha romanoff x reader #yelena belova x reader #natasha romanoff x reader

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absolutebl · 6 months

Note

Hey. Ty very much for your posts. As a woman in my 30s I got hypnotised by the beauty of the novelists and was wondering if you had similar high heat intense recommendations (also watched the samurai one "taboo"), bi or mlm with older leads and non fluffy storylines.. Moody atmospheric and venomous is my weak spot

Moody, atmospheric & venomous BL

Like, the Novelist? really?

AKA Pornographer movie series AKA The Novelist, Mood Indigo, Pornographer Playback (Japan 2018-2020) - emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December, kink, touch of necrophilia, explicit.

Okay I got one right off the bat: seek ye....

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese

AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit, mature characters.

Now let me think about some more:

high heat

intense

non fluffy

older leads

The last one is a doozy, so I'm not gonna use it as a qualifier. BL is most, well, about "boys" not men.

Some others that might work for you but don't meet all your criteria:

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan 2020 Netflix) - this movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it.

Innocent (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - mental health, childhood trauma, actually kinda sweet.

The Eighth Sense (Korea 2023 Viki - This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a KBL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled but it's really damn good.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan 2023 Gaga) - Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. They're hot, young, in love, and total idiots.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai 2023 grey or YT) - IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, elegant and classy… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, it gets hot more that explicit, but it does have sharp edges.

Tokyo in April is AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan 2023 Viki) - Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other it's heavy and cutting.

Moonlight Chicken (Thai 2023) - I enjoyed this complicated little show, even though it’s spectacularly messy gay with lots of shrapnel and authentic pain. EarthMix turn in their most compelling performance to date.

Bed Friend (Thai 2023 IQIYI) - Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS). NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth.

Big Dragon (Thai 2022 Gaga) - This is a decent execution of true enemies to lovers, these two spy on and bully each other, exploring darker themes and self worth issues. The way the leads transition between anger, resentment, titillation, and flirting (and the way, with kinksters, this can all be the same thing) is really well done. A pairing that proved itself to be a lot more sophisticated than I expected with excellent chemistry, but something went askew around plot, directing, and ending. Still if you're in it for the sexy, go to, they did.

My Beautiful Man AKA Utsukushii Kare (Japan 2021 Gaga - One of the most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade, as weird and as messed up as any 2000′s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It used seriously old school problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly uncompromising piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way - Japanese cinema, uncompromising.

End of the World With You

Junjou: Pure Heart

The Egoist

No thoughts on those three, not my thing.

You also might consider some of the stuff on this list:

Hope that gives you some options!

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ncityaddict101 · 6 months

Text

2:22 AM

18+ minors dni

Word count: 300±

Warnings: Dom! Scoups, Sub! Reader. He's kinda mean, and hella cocky, use of pet names, vaginal sex, spanking, slight bimbofication if you squint? the good stuff really

Cheols hand placed on your thigh, gripping it hard enough to leave bruise marks on it as he looks down at your fucked out state. He's got you all naked on the bed for him, legs pressed against his chest as he delivers merciless thrusts to your dripping core.

"Taking it so well baby, aren't you?"

He whispers into your ear, placing a soft kiss on the side of your leg. Which is a sharp contrast to the brutal way in which his hips have been moving throughout the night.

"I asked you something princess"

All you could do was gasp and nod your head, unable to comprehend any clear sentences as he was just fucking you too good at this moment.

"Words"

He said, clearly not satisfied by your non verbal answer. When you still didn't reply, simply too caught up in how good he was making you feel, he took it upon himself to harshly strike down the palm on his hand on your ass cheek. The punishing sting of the spank immediately went to your brain, and finally triggered a verbal reaction from you.

"Yes! I'm t-taking it, taking it so well, fu- uck~"

That was when a shit eating grin slowly started spreading over his face. You were already stuttering and stumbling over your own words, and he wasn't even nearly done with you yet.

"God, you're so cute when you're all fucked out for me~"

He mumbled as he sped up his already punishingly fast pace. Making you grip onto the bedsheets and moan out his name. His hand traveled to the small of your back as you arched it off the bed for him.

"Cheol! Baby~ fu-fuck"

You were blabbering utter nonsense at this point. And he was loving every broken syllable that slipped past those pretty lips of yours. The way you stuttered on that one syllable word "fuck" made him groan out and squish the skin of your thigh even tighter. He knew what he was doing to you. And you could see it when you looked at him, a cocky grin spread across his his pretty face at your stuttering.

"Enjoying m-my struggli— ahh!~"

A chuckle could be heard from above you. Seungcheol had angled his hips just right, easily preventing you from making that bratty comment, by hitting that sweet spot inside you that made you scream and squirm underneath him. Your mind went blank, you had no idea what you were gonna say to him, all you remembered was his name as he hit that spot inside you again, and again, and again. The little smirk on his face only growing wider when he grabbed your chin with his hand and made you look at him.

"What did you say baby? I didn't catch that, maybe you should repeat yourself"

#scoups #svt #svt x reader #svt smut #scoups smut #choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol smut

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nejiverse · 1 year

Text

ALARM

Sae Itoshi

In which you buy Sae a very special gift out of the kindness of your heart. Ive been so busy so have this draft!

cw: suggestive towards the end, grumpy sae again

626 words

Like the majority of the population, Sae uses his phone as his alarm. There's also the people who think they're still in the 1900's and use an actual alarm clock but that's for another day.

So when Sae reached out to turn off his alarm— it was a different tune than the one he was accustomed to but he paid no heed since he was barely awake— he didn't feel a flat 6 inch screen but rather a cube shaped item.

He turned his face which was engulfed in his pillow to the side, opening one eye to see what was making that horrible sound.

He blinked at the item once, twice.

Maybe it was a dream...

He sat up at bit, his elbows supporting his weight and the covers falling down to his waist to reveal his bare chest.

With half-lidded eyes, Sae stared at the ringing item.

Why the hell was he looking at a ringing rubik's cube??

"What the hell..", he muttered, picking up the cube and trying to find its off button.

He looked to his side only to see that you weren't there which triggered his memories. He remembered the brief conversation he had with you two days ago...

"You always sleep through your alarms Sae".

"Yeah it's becoming a problem".

You snickered. "What if I got you one of those rubik's cube alarms!".

Sae looked at you funny. "What?".

"You have to solve the rubik's cube if you wanna turn the alarm off", you responded.

Sae was totally against it. "Y/n I can't even do a word search right, that'd be torture".

He thought it was a joke...he didn't think you'd actually do it.

Sae let his groan drawl out as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

He twisted the cube about a total of two times and gave up, he wasn't about to spend eight and a half hours trying to solve it.

"Y/n!", if you didn't come quick, his head would explode from the blaring sound.

You entered your shared room and smiled at your loving fiancé.

"Good morning Sae!".

"Nothing's good about this morning, turn this off".

"Aw someone's grumpy", you frowned, hopping onto his lap while pecking him on the cheek.

"Turn it off. I literally beg", he shoved the cube into your chest so he could cover his ears.

It was quite endearing to watch if you do say so yourself.

Your lips turned lopsided. How were you supposed to tell Sae you had no clue how to solve it..?

You sheepishly rubbed the back of your head. "Yeah about that...".

Sae got the memo and simply took the rubik's cube from you and threw it out the window he forgot to close last night.

You gasped. "From the car incident to this...the neighbours are gonna start complaining about us".

"Forget them, i'm going back to sleep".

You shook his shoulders as he got back into his comfy position. "You'll be late Sae!".

No response. You leaned down, your hands on his firm chest and your lips hovering over his ear.

"Hey..I know something that'll wake you up", you spoke in a low voice.

Sae immediately opened his eyes and a grin slowly grew on his lips.

"Is that so?".

Masterlist :)

a/n: i keep typing Sae as Saw cause i type too damn fast 💀 it's funny though

also i’ve been hella busy i hate it i promise i’ll get to all your asks after this week dies down😭🫶

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skz317cb97 · 2 years

Text

Movie Night

Han Jisung x thick female reader

Word count: 9.6k (yowza)

A/N: 18+ only! So, I wanted to write this story after the Chan's room comment on his last vlive. I was already working on a Jisung fic and when this idea hit me I HAD to rework the plot because I needed to write this. I hope people that relate to this story know that their worth is not based on their appearance or weight. Everyone has insecurities, fat, skinny, whatever. The content of your heart is what matters and how you treat others. I hope everyone always remembers that. I hope you enjoy reading and if you do, please leave a comment, like, reblog, shoot me an ask, I love the feedback! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Strong language/cursing, Weight and body image issues are a big part of the plot in this fic, if that can be triggering for you, you might skip this one! Dry humping, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected piv sex (please don't do this, use protection), cream pie, overstimulation, cum eating, hella praise and pet names (baby, jagi etc), squirting, Jisung get a little possessive but not in a toxic way, mentioning of coming on breasts, mentioning of oral sex (m receiving) and coming in mouth. I think that's everything but if I ever miss a warning, please let me know and I'll add it immediately.

You and Jisung loved having movie nights together. The other guys enjoyed watching movies too but not the way you and Jisung did. You would over load on snacks and sugar and throw popcorn at each other or the screen when the main character of whatever film you were watching did something predictably stupid. It was forty percent watching the movie, sixty percent critiquing, and one hundred percent fun. You were a two-person episode of MST3K minus the robots. Movie nights with Jisung were the highlight of your week.

It was probably pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that you had a crush on Jisung. Regardless of how obvious it was you would never admit that. Not to him, not to anyone. You weren’t his type and you knew that. You were heavier, perhaps a bit more than beauty standards would consider ‘aesthetically pleasing’, at least that was the view you had of yourself. You knew that didn’t mean you weren’t pretty but you were bigger and you also had eyes. You saw the kind of girls Jisung went after on the rare occasions you had gone to clubs together and they most definitely did not look like you. You also could see what HE looked like. He was not only beautiful and fit but funny and kind. Guys like him didn’t go for girls like you and it was fine. That was fine.

You cherished the friendship you had with Jisung and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that no matter how strong the feelings you had for him were. What you didn’t realize was that Jisung was trying to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you too. At first, he didn’t see you as any more than a good friend that also happened to be a girl. You weren’t the type of girl he would typically go for. After being friends with you a couple of years now he had become endeared by you and after your last movie night Jisung had come to realize he was completely bewitched and he had absolutely no idea what to do or say now. He was sure you felt the same but he still was holding onto some reservations about perusing something with you and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way when you both were so clearly perfectly matched.

You and Jisung loved movie nights together. So, it wasn’t unusual for you to be snuggled up on the couch under a blanket at the dorm with Jisung on a Friday night with three or four movies on standby. What was unusual this particular Friday was the awkward air hanging between the two of you. Everything seemed fine the week before and nothing seemed out of the ordinary that night so far. You had agreed on horror movies and you were well into your second one. The first had actually been pretty scary, making you jump a few times gripping Jisung’s arm and hiding your face, cuddling in closer to him under the shared blanket. The movie you were watching now hadn’t been as bad until it was. One of the main girls was slinking through a dark decrepit house and was suddenly snatched from behind by the crazed killer, practically sending you sailing out of your skin. Jisung tensed up when you buried your face in his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night.

You hadn’t realized it but every time you pressed your plush body closer to Jisung his posture had stiffened as well as other parts of his body. He was very happy for the blanket or hiding his hard on might not have been so simple. There had been something out of the ordinary that night, for Jisung at least, and that was your choice in attire for movie night. You both always opted for pajamas because comfort duh, but you had come out of the bathroom that night after changing into pajamas Jisung had never seen you in before. A crop top with matching fuzzy shorts. His throat went dry the moment he saw you. It was the most of your skin he’d ever seen. He knew you were self-conscious about your body so you usually kept pretty covered up, even now the crop top wasn’t particularly revealing and the shorts weren’t that short but seeing your silky thighs and the fact that he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra under the crop top had Jisung ready to burst.

When you noticed his tense body language you realized you were practically laying on top of him. Even though you loved being close to Jisung you backed off of him a little, worried you might be making him uncomfortable with your weight on him like that.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to... I mean... I’m sorry if I’m crushing you.” Jisung hated hearing you say that. So you were bigger, it didn’t matter, not to him. Even if he had thought you weren’t his type before because of that. He was an idiot. He knew now no matter what size you were you were he thought you were fucking gorgeous. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He didn’t want you to move further away. He looked at you, his gaze soft and shook his head. He wrapped his arm around your waist under the blanket and pulled you close again.

“No, you’re not. It’s fine. You’re fine.” Your face felt like it was on fire and your cheeks turned pink. You bit your lip, an unconscious nervous tick and Jisung’s eyes darted towards them. You looked away unable to keep eye contact. Not when he was pulling you close, not when he was holding you, not when his fingertips were grazing the soft flesh of your waist where your shirt had ridden up a bit, not when he was looking at you like... THAT.

“y/n?” Jisung’s voice was just above a whisper and even though you heard him call your name clearly you still couldn’t meet his gaze and you pretended to focus on the movie. He hooked his finger under your chin and tilted your head up towards him. Was this really happening?! Jisung slowly started to lean in closer.

“Ji... I...” He only shook his head and focused on your lips as he closed in. You closed your eyes and you could feel Jisung’s warm breath fan across your face, the warmth of his lips hovering so closely to yours. You held your breath waiting to feel just how soft his lips really were. Finally.

“Han-ah! Do you know whe-” Changbin came around the corner and stopped short when he saw you and Jisung jumping, catching you just about to kiss.

“Oh! Shit! Sorry I didn’t mean-” Jisung backed up practically pushing you away when he realized Changbin was also in the room and he started stuttering.

“You didn’t! I mean there was nothing... we’re watching movies.” You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat and scooted further away from Jisung which did not go unnoticed by either of the men. Changbin cleared his throat.

“Yea, okay, well do you know where the protein shaker is? I wanted to hit the gym tonight.” Jisung popped up from the couch quickly.

“Yea. It’s in the kitchen. I can show you; I need a drink anyway. Y/n? Do you need a drink or anything?” You had started focusing on the movie again trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. You glanced quickly at him and then back at the screen slightly shaking your head no. He bit his lip knowing your feelings were hurt by how he’d reacted when Changbin walked in, when you had just been so close to kissing, and he felt guilty. He didn’t want you to think it was because of you, it really wasn’t. When he came back, he’d explain.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You could feel your eyes sting, the familiar burn of tears wanting to surface but you kept your eyes trained on the tv and nodded. Jisung and Changbin went off into the kitchen leaving you in the living room alone, where you took some deep breaths and composed yourself. Maybe it was best Changbin had interrupted. He’d just kept you from making an absolute fool of yourself and ruining your friendship. You went to take a drink of your soda only to find it empty. You kicked yourself for not just telling Jisung yes when he asked if you needed a drink, you pushed yourself up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Once Changbin and Jisung had gotten to the kitchen Changbin turned to him with an eyebrow quirked and his nose scrunched.

“OOoookay what was THAT?!” Jisung played stupid like he had no idea what Changbin was talking about. He just wasn’t comfortable with the topic of him and you just yet, not when he wasn’t sure what to do about his feelings. It was awkward for him to admit to Changbin how he felt about you when he hadn’t even told you yet. It would be with any of the guys, he wasn’t completely sure why.

“What?! What was what?!” You had made it just outside the of the kitchen when you heard Changbin scoff.

“Y/n!? Come on... I didn’t think you were into girls like... her...” Jisung’s brows furrowed, he didn’t know what to think about what Changbin seemed to be insinuating.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Changbin rolled his eyes.

“You know... bigger.” It was just a word and it was trued but the way Changbin said bigger made you feel absolutely disgusting and the tears you had managed to fend off in the living room were fighting back with a vengeance. It had already been awkward and now Jisung felt embarrassed so he lied when Changbin insinuated again that Jisung was into you.

“No, I mean what do you mean into? I’m not into y/n?” Changbin scoffed again.

“Oh yea? What was all that I just walked in on then?” Jisung rubbed the back of his neck thinking of an excuse; but why? Why couldn’t he just say that he did like you? Why couldn’t he just say he WAS about to kiss you? What was so terrible about that? Why did he feel so awkward about it? Why did he feel like Changbin would laugh at him or make fun of if he told him? He just wanted to make a quick excuse, whatever would end the conversation.

“Dude, she’s got a crush on me. She was all over me but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She isn’t really MY type...”Jisung was still and idiot. You thought the inflection Changbin had put on bigger made you feel like garbage, that was until you heard the way Jisung say you weren’t ‘his type’. You knew that but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. You hadn’t even realized the tears were trailing down your cheeks at that point. You didn’t need or want to hear anymore. You quietly grabbed your overnight bag, put on your slides and left.

Jisung had heard the front door click closed. All the other guys were still out so it could have been any one of them coming in but when a couple of minutes had passed and no one had walked through the dorm Jisung walked back out into the living room to check on you and found it empty, the movie paused and the blanket you had been sharing in a heap on the floor in front of the couch.

“y/n?” Jisung walked towards the bathroom to check and see if maybe you had gone in there. He knocked but the door creaked open and the bathroom was unoccupied.

“y/n?” He decided to go back and check his room although it wasn’t likely you were there and Jisung could feel anxiety creeping up on him. He thought back about the look on your face when he’d left you in the living room. He opened the door to his room and as he had suspected, you weren’t in there. He made his way back through the living room on a mission and Changbin tried to stop him.

“What’s up? What’s going on?” Jisung moved Changbin out of his way and walked towards the foyer, seeing your bag and shoes were gone.

“FUCK.” Changbin walked up behind Jisung.

“What? Fuck what?” Jisung spun around and Changbin could see the worry on his face.

“You... you don’t think she heard us, do you?” Changbin’s face softened when he realized you were what Jisung was worried about. He gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders.

“FUCK!” Jisung slipped on his shoes and jacket and ran out the door hoping you weren’t too far ahead of him. It was the time of year that it was starting to get a bit chilly when the sun was down and tonight was the coldest it had been yet. It wasn’t freezing but definitely too cold for you to be walking off in what you were wearing, not to mention not safe. When Jisung got out to the street he looked up the sidewalk one way and then the other but didn’t see you. He ran in the direction of the closest bus stop and when he rounded the street corner, he saw you under the florescent lights of the bus stop enclosure. You had your big bag by your feet and had your arms wrapped around yourself, hugging your body, clearly trying to keep warm as you waited for the next bus on the line. Jisung ran up towards you.

“y/n!? Hey! Why’d you take off? It’s fucking freezing out here, take my jacket. Let’s go back inside and finish the movies...” Jisung took his coat off and went to put it around you but you pulled away and tightened your grip on your arms.

“No, I’m going home. Sorry I was all over you. I know I’m too... heavy... for that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just... I’m just gonna to go home.” You did your best not to choke on your words and Jisung winced at them knowing you weren’t only upset about how he’d reacted to Changbin but you had heard everything they had said in the kitchen as well.

“y/n... I... please come back inside you shouldn’t be outside dressed like this.” Of course, he meant he didn’t want you catching cold only wearing shorts and a crop top. You looked away not wanting Jisung to see the fresh tears that were pricking your eyes.

“I knew I shouldn’t wear stuff like this. I’m only going to bed when I get home so I’ll just deal with the stares on the bus.” He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and shook his head.

“I... I didn’t mean it like that y/n... it’s cold out you’re gonna get sick. Please, come back to the dorm.” You finally looked at Jisung and he could see just how hurt you were, your tear rimmed eyes that were already getting puffy and red. That was the final straw, he was a complete asshole.

“Just... go finish the movies without me Jisung. I’ll... I’ll see you the next movie night.” He sighed in defeat knowing you were definitely not going back to the dorm with him tonight.

“Look at least take my coat so you don’t catch your death out here and let me wait with you until the bus shows up.” You let Jisung put his coat over your shoulders this time and huddled into the left-over body heat from Jisung having it on.

“I’d really rather be alone right now Jisung.” You knew you weren‘t going to be able to get a hold of yourself and stop crying if he stayed. He shook his head, sliding a bit closer to you on the bench wanting to be close to you again and hoping some of his body heat might warm you.

“It’s not safe for you to be out here at night alone.” You slid away putting distance between you again and looked at your feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world and Jisung’s chest felt tight.

“I’ll text you when I’m home Ji. Just... please...” Your voice started to faulter and Jisung didn’t push any further.

“Okay. Alright. Please let me know when you’re home safe?” You bit your lip and nodded still looking down as tears welled up in your eyes again.

“Good night y/n.” Jisung wanted to lean over and hug you, give you a kiss on your forehead, SOMETHING to comfort you. Instead, he just gave a little nod and headed back to the dorm to give you the space you asked for. When Jisung walked back inside Changbin was on his way out to the gym.

“Hey, everything cool?” Jisung looked distracted but then it registered that Changbin had spoken to him.

“Oh, uh. I talked to her... she’s going home.” Changbin nodded and headed towards the door but stopped and turned back.

“Look, Han-ah, there really isn’t anything between you and y/n?” Jisung really didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to deal with Changbin messing with him about it anymore but after you hearing him and Changbin in the kitchen and the way you looked at him down on that bus stop he was certain you’d never want anything to do with him, he’d be lucky if you still wanted to be his friend, so he shook his head.

“No Bin, we’re just friends.” Changbin nodded and cleared his throat.

“So, it would be okay if say, I wanted to ask her out on a date?” Jisung’s eyes flashed in Changbin’s direction instantly.

“What?!” Changbin rubbed at the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish.

“Well yea, I mean she’s really cute man and she’s nice and like I was saying in the kitchen before I know she’s not really YOUR type but you guys are super close so I just wanted to be sure you weren’t interested in her and see if... you know... if you were cool with me asking her out.” Jisung was at a complete loss for words as Changbin waited for a reply. He wondered how many times in one night he could think to himself that he was an idiot. He’d thought Changbin was being judgmental with his line of questioning in the kitchen but he was interested in you. Even if he had been being judgmental why, WHY did it matter?! It fucking didn’t. Because it didn’t change the way you made Jisung’s heart race just thinking about you. Changbin saw the look on Jisung’s face and knew the answer before he even spoke.

“I... you’re right Changbin she isn’t like the type of girls I’ve dated in the past but...” Changbin wasn’t dumb and wasn’t one to pussy foot around so he just came out with it.

“Look Jisungie just say you’re into her, it’s alright. I already caught you almost kissing; what's the big deal? She’s into you too. What are you holding back for?” He didn’t know what to say.

“Sung, is it that maybe you’re a little worried about what people might be thinking if you date a thicker girl?” Jisung looked at Changbin and his eyes said it all. Changbin had hit the nail on the head. Jisung did think you were gorgeous and what other people thought shouldn’t even matter for that reason alone. He didn’t care what some stranger on the street thought of him and you being together but the guys, like Changbin, for some reason, he thought maybe some of the guys would give him a hard time. Of course, none of the guys had given him any reason to think they would tease him about such a thing because none of them would. Jisung had been in his own head too much. Realizing his feelings for you were deeper than friendship had really sent him through a loop. He was worried about the wrong things; he didn’t know how to act around anyone when it came to you and because of that he was epically fucking up.

“Jisungie...” He focused on Changbin again.

“Sort your shit out. If you care about her man it doesn’t matter. She deserves better than that Sung, and you know it.” Changbin slapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his gym bag and left to go work out. About twenty minutes after Changbin had left Jisung got a text notification. He sat up quickly in bed and grabbed his phone.

You laid back in your bed trying to process the whirl of emotions you’d been put through that night. Hope, excitement, disappointment, pain, confusion. It was all too much to process in one night and there was no way you were going to be able to talk about it with Jisung right then, so you cut him off when he tried. Wasn’t he going to kiss you? Had you read that wrong? If he was going to; why would he if he didn’t like you like that? Pity? You hated all the thoughts racing through your head. You just wanted to forget and fall asleep, after a while your mind slowed down and you were finally able to get some rest.

Jisung had gone all week not hearing from you. He sent a good morning text every day and then a meme or two with an accompanying caption that would say something like ‘laughed and thought of you’ or ‘remember that one time...’ All of his texts went unanswered and he understood why. He’d hurt you in the worst possible way. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to make it right still. Friday morning, he finally got up the nerve to actually call you. He honestly thought you would ignore the call just like you had his texts but after three rings you answered.

“Hey Jisung; what’s up?” You sounded drained. All the more reason for you to come over, relax and watch movies with him just like you usually would.

“Hey! Uh... I hadn’t heard from you at all this week so I just wanted to make sure we were still on for movie night.” You closed your eyes and chewed at your lip as the memories of the last week’s movie night came flooding back. You had been totally swamped at work, you really hadn’t had time to process a thing, which is why you had been ignoring Jisung’s texts. You had just pushed it down and carried on during the work week because you had to. Now here you were and the feelings were racing head on at you again and you didn’t know if you were ready still.

“Ji... I... I don’t-” Before you could give any excuse as to why it wasn’t a good idea Jisung interjected.

“I got comedies like you asked for and all the snacks already. You just have to come over. Will you... come over y/n?” You took a deep breath. Maybe if you just went and kept up with your old routine things would just go back to normal. You didn’t have to talk, just watch movies.

“Yea, I’ll be over Ji. Is seven okay?” His smile was beaming on the other end of the line, hopeful about the fact that you agreed to come, that maybe, he might be able to fix his fuck up still, even if that meant in the end only being your friend. He would be fine with that. It would be more than he felt he deserved from you.

“Seven is perfect y/n. I’ll see you then. Bye.” You gave a small hum.

“Bye Ji, see you.” For you the day seemed to fly by and before you knew it, it was time for you to head to the dorm and you didn’t know if you were really ready to face Jisung again yet. For Jisung the day had seemed to drag on forever. He had finally been honest with himself and the guys and told them all how he felt about you. He asked if he could have the dorm for the night while he tried to smooth things over with you. The guys, of course, were all supportive and agreed to be gone for the night. Jisung frantically cleaned the dorm and staged the living room carefully for your movie night. Snacks spread out, blankets to snuggle up in, all typical staples of your movie nights. Not typical was the dim lighting from candles he’d put out around the room and the lavender oil defusing that Felix had set up for him before he left.

Just a bit after seven Jisung heard your knock at the door. He opened it and greeted you with his wide toothy smile, the one that reached his eyes and made them scrunch up. If you were exhausted from the work week he couldn’t tell, you looked amazing. He couldn’t help but notice your attire this week was back to the usual pair of sweat pants, t-shirt and a big hoodie over that. Jisung’s smile faltered a bit but he caught himself and moved out of the way to invite you in.

“Hey! Come on in!” You gave Jisung a small smile and walked in towards the living room. Jisung closed the door and followed closely behind.

“Do you want me to take your bag or hoodie?” You shook your head.

“Didn’t bring an overnight bag, I can’t stay this week, and I think I’ll keep my hoodie on for now, I’m kind of chilly. Thanks though.” You looked around the living room as you walked in and noticed the few candles Jisung had lit and could smell the fresh scent of lavender. He walked past you and sat down on the couch grabbing the remote and patting the cushions for you to join him. You swallowed the anxiety and tension you were feeling down and walked over to the couch. Jisung had lifted the blanket he’d thrown over himself so you could sit by him and share, like you usually did, but you opted to sit on the far end of the couch with your feet tucked up underneath you and your knees pulled into your hoodie. You missed the disappointed expression on Jisung’s face because you were trying to look anywhere but at him. Just from the time he had opened the door, your heart had wretched every time you did look at him. He set the blanket back down, making like he’d just been adjusting it a bit and started the first movie of the night, unsure if he was going to be able to focus on the screen at all with the elephant in the room with the two of you.

You both had managed to get through the first movie. You had chuckled a time or two and even though it wasn’t your usual boisterous laugh Jisung was glad to see, somewhat, of a smile on your face. You were still curled up into yourself on the far end of the couch though and you hadn’t eaten anything. Jisung went to put in the next movie.

“Don’t let me eat all the snacks y/n. Make sure you get some before I inhale it all and really look like a quokka.” Jisung smiled and puffed his already chubby cheeks out further trying to make you laugh but you just smiled at him weakly.

“I’m okay Jisung I already had dinner and it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to lay off the snacks a bit.” Like an arrow straight through his heart. His idiocy made you feel this way. That there was something wrong with you that needed changed. He had let his own insecurities about your relationship bleed onto you instead of dealing with his own shit. He fucked up he knew it. He should have been trying to talk things out with you instead of ignoring it. He was just joking around acting like nothing had happened, like he didn’t hurt you. He was trying to make you laugh, but it wasn’t time for his antics, this conversation couldn’t be put off any longer when you were saying things like that about yourself. He couldn’t let it continue.

“Don’t say that! There’s nothing wrong with the way you look!” You looked up at him a bit surprised by his sudden outburst but your eyes faltered and were cast down again just as quickly.

“You can say that all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to lose weight. No one wants to date the funny fat girl...” Your voice started to quiver a bit and trailed off, the last thing you said was almost inaudible.

“... least of all you.” It was so quiet Jisung almost didn’t hear it.

“What?!” You looked up at him like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You hadn’t even meant for it to come out at all let alone for him to hear it. Oh well, what did it matter now. Your feelings had already ruined everything anyway. Might as well lay it all out on the table.

“Well, it’s true...” You whispered. Jisung sat closer to you on the couch and you shrunk down into your hoodie as you tried to make yourself smaller.

“y/n. No, it’s not.” Who was he to say that to you when he knew you had heard him. Your voice came out with a bit more venom than before.

“Jisung, I HEARD you and Changbin. The way you both talked about me...” Jisung went to interrupt you but you put your hand up, stopping him.

“Let me finish!” He nodded and shut his mouth.

“When I heard the way you two talked about me, the way he described me, how you said you felt about me, I was disgusted with myself.” You choked back tears and Jisung hated himself at that very moment. If he were any other guy and you had told him about this situation happening, he’d find him and kick his own ass.

“That night I had finally worked up the courage to wear those pajamas. I’d had looked at them for 3 months before getting the nerve up to wear them in front of you. I hoped that maybe you might see me in them and think, ‘wow y/n is actually kind of pretty’ maybe even sexy. Then we were on the couch and I don’t know I guess I was delusional and thought you were going to kiss me, I read it wrong, obviously. I’ve seen the girls you take home from the club Ji, I’m two of them easily so I wasn’t shocked you weren’t into me but then I heard you in the kitchen. When I looked down at what I was wearing... if I hadn’t been crying Ji, I would have laughed for actually letting myself think for even one second that someone like YOU would ever want to be with someone like me. That YOU would ever think I was pretty or sexy for that matter.” You pulled your knees from your hoodie and stood up as the tears started to fall from your eyes.

“I... I can’t Ji... I... I have to go. This was a mistake.” You went to go for the door but Jisung grabbed your wrist and stopped you.

“Wait PLEASE!” You paused in place but didn’t turn to face him. You couldn’t.

“I’m so sorry. Please, I’m sorry I said any of that stupid stuff, especially since I didn’t mean a single word of it! I... I WAS going to kiss you and then Changbin walked in and I got nervous it had nothing to do with you or how you look I swear. Then when Changbin asked about you in the kitchen I thought he was giving me a hard time about how you weren’t my ‘type’ and then I was embarrassed but it turned out he was asking about me and you because HE wanted to ask you out and he wanted to make sure you and I didn’t' have a ‘thing’ going on. He told me when I came back in that night and I told him... I told him that I did have feelings for you, that I cared about you... more than just a friend.” Now you turned and faced Jisung, your eyes were narrowed but still filled with tears and your voice was weak when you spoke.

“You AND Changbin have feelings for me? Well, you both have a very shitty way of showing you care about me. Be sure to let Changbin know too.” You pulled your wrist from Jisung’s grip and turned to go walk towards the door again. Jisung ran to stand in front of you, blocking the way, panicked that if you walked out, he may never see you again.

“Wait! Wait, wait! Don’t go! I... I think I'm in love with you y/n...” You stopped, turned and suddenly slapped Jisung in the face. You didn’t want to hurt him but you just snapped.

“How dare you! How dare you talk about me behind my back the way you did, make me feel like I was desperate and crazy, like I was undesirable, now you tell me you only said those things because you were embarrassed by me! Embarrassed for one of your friends to think you were interested in a fat girl! Then you have the AUDACITY to say you’re in love with me! Fuck you Jisung!” You started beating against his chest with your fists as you sobbed and cussed at him.

“Fuck you! FUCK YOU!” He grabbed your arms trying to calm you down. When you realized he was stronger and easily holding you back from hitting him further you did the only thing you could do and fell into his chest, hysterically crying. Jisung wrapped his arms around you and you both sank to the floor. He held you and rocked you, softly humming until you were letting out little gasps and hiccups trying to get control of yourself.

“No one has ever hurt me like you did Jisung.” He flinched at your words. Knowing that hit him harder than the slap in the face.

“I won’t ever be able to say how sorry I am and sorry’s will never be enough but if you’ll give me a chance, I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. If you give me a chance y/n I’ll love you like no one ever has before.” Jisung’s hands cupped your face and he looked into your eyes with so much conviction it was impossible not to believe him.

“Jisung... I...” More tears gathered and fell and Jisung swept them away with his thumbs.

“Please.” He pleaded with you and you gave him a small nod, then he leaned in and softly kissed your lips. It was so warm, inviting, pulling you in for more but instead you pushed against Jisung’s chest and he pulled back and looked at you. Your eyes flicked between his as you searched for any uncertainty but you only saw love. You gripped his shirt where your hand had been resting on his chest and crashed your lips back into his. The kiss was so heated this time, so needy, you had wanted Jisung for so long and now, now you had him. You straddled his lap but didn’t sit your weight on him as your hands cupped his soft cheeks and you continued to make out. Jisung’s arms wrapped around your midsection pulling you close, your chests pressed together. He wanted you as close to him as possible. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed tightly, out of breath from kissing you.

“Jagi, I want feel every bit of you, want to make you to feel as beautiful as you are...” Jisung toyed with the hem of your hoodie and t-shirt silently asking permission to remove them. You lifted your arms and allowed him to, although you were extremely nervous to be in only your bra in front of him, even in the dim lighting. Jisung lifted the shirt and hoodie over your head and tossed it aside taking in the expanse of skin in front of him. He wanted to touch you everywhere but instead his hands gripped your hips and eased you down so that your full weight was on his lap and your clothed heat was pressing into his hard on. When you opened your mouth to protest putting your weight on him Jisung silenced you with his lips. He gripped your soft hips tighter, fingers digging in to your plush skin as he helped move you back and forth over his erection, finding a rhythm. You pulled away from the kiss panting as Jisung started to meet your grinding with his own.

“J-Ji... Ji... I don’t want to hurt you...” He stopped, removing his hands from your hips and holding your face so that you couldn’t help but look him in the eyes.

“Does it look like you’re hurting me?” You bit your lip and softly shook your head no in his hands. Jisung grabbed one of your wrists guiding your hand to grab his hard on underneath you. His eyes closed and his mouth fell open, letting out a breath when you gently squeezed.

“Does it feel like you’re hurting me?” You were breathless still as you shook your head again.

“No Jisungie... it feels... good.” You finally breathed out the word.

“It does feel good jagi. YOU feel good. God keep riding me please!” His hands grazed a soft trail down your full breasts back to your hips urging you to continue your movements. You wrapped your arms around Jisung’s neck and rocked your hips over him again, this time with more vigor and the broken moan that fell from his mouth made you soak your panties. You gripped his broad shoulders and rotated your hips grinding against him with more confidence the more he moaned and panted.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum in my pants if you don’t stop jagiya...” You stopped your movements but cupped Jisung’s soft cheeks and continued your assault on his lips. You sat there lazily making out, tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths, teeth tugging at lips, hands exploring, caressing, until Jisung was forced to pull away to take a breath. His hands ran up your arms and he dragged his fingertips gently back down causing goose bumps to rise in their wake. You looked into his eyes and him into yours, both of you breathless, trying to read the other’s mind.

“Jisung?” He pressed his lips together giving you a nod and a small smile as his hands found their way to your hips again.

“Will you... can we...” You knew you wanted Jisung and even though you were on his lap, in your bra and had been kissing and touching each other for quite a bit at that point, you were still self-conscious and scared to ask him what you wanted. You let out a frustrated huff of air, closing your eyes and Jisung cupped your jaw and ran his thumb along your cheek and you looked at him again.

“Take a deep breath. Whatever you want, whatever you want to ask, it’s okay.” You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath like Jisung had told you to.

“Please take me to bed? I want you Jisung, I need you.” You looked down at where you gripped his shirt tightly as you told him exactly what you had been so scared of saying. Jisung dipped his head down catching your eyes in his again.

“Jagi...” Jisung’s gaze darkened suddenly and before you could think he had his arms wrapped around you and shifted you both so that he was now slotted between your legs laying over you kissing down your neck reaching for the waist band of your pants.

“Wish you’d worn those shorts again...” He peppered more kisses across your throat and took the fleshy part of your ear lightly between his teeth.

“You were so fucking SEXY in them I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pushed against Jisung’s chest stopping him then slowly slid out from under him and stood up. He was confused at first, worried maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the week before but before he could stress out you pushed your sweats down and stood there in your bra and panties. Jisung stood up quickly and took in every inch of skin you were offering up to him. All of it soft, plush, curvy and so inviting. You beckoned him over to you.

“Come here, touch me Ji.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He invaded your proximity immediately, his hands running along your smooth skin pulling you closer.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous, don’t know what to touch and kiss first.” Your skin flushed at Jisung’s words and you felt your core throb for him. Jisung’s lips ghosted over your neck before raking his teeth across your collar bone and pulling the prettiest moan he’d ever heard from you. He grabbed your hips and pulled them forward into his. With only his clothes creating a barrier between you, aside from the thin, lacey, boy shorts you were wearing, you could perfectly feel his hard cock pressed against you. Jisung’s eyes closed and his head tilted back a little, he bit his lip and hummed enjoying the warmth of your soft body against his and then he looked at you with a mischievous smile.

“Come to bed jagi...” He kissed your neck again before pulling you, leading you towards his room, towards his bed. You could feel your nerves starting to come back once you walked into his bedroom. It was still dimly lit but it was brighter than the living room and you felt a bit more exposed and self-conscious. You pulled your hand away from Jisung and went to cover yourself. Jisung grabbed your hand back and pulled you close wrapping his arms around you and pressing his forehead against yours.

“No. Please? Don’t? You’re perfect,” He peppered soft kisses over your shoulder trying to comfort you and you let out a soft sigh. Jisung pulled away and pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and soft tan skin. You would think him evening the playing field by removing some of his clothes would make you feel less nervous but it only made it worse and you went to cover up again. Your hands were slightly shaking when Jisung pulled you close again, his warm skin pressed against yours and you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispered in your ear.

“You’re so fucking sexy. Please don’t hide.” He pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck again. You could feel tears pricking your eyes and you were so mad at yourself that you were about to ruin this moment. You wanted to believe what he said but you just didn’t feel sexy. Jisung could feel that you were still tense, he pulled back and saw your tears.

“y/n... what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” You shook your head no. You scoffed at yourself and wiped your tears away.

“No Ji, it’s okay really, I just need a second. I’m feeling...” You looked down at yourself and Jisung knew.

“Hey, take a second, take ten, it’s alright jagyia.” He rubbed soft circles on your hips with his thumbs and it started to help your heart rate slow down a bit. When you looked at Jisung again his face was so soft and laced with concern. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. It was soft at first but as you felt his skin under your fingertips it became more frenzied. Both of you gripping, squeezing, roaming, moaning into the other’s kiss. You felt a sudden rush of bravery and reached into Jisung’s sweat pants grabbing his dick firmly and stroking it like you had done it to him a hundred times before. It was gentle but not too gentle and the way your thumb brushed that sweet spot under the head of his cock was sinful as you stroked him just fast enough to make him want more.

“FUCK y/n! Yes, JUST like that.” Jisung lead you towards the bed as you continued to stroke him. When the back of your knees hit the bed you removed your hand from his pants and fell back on it. Your hair spread around your head like an angel and your chest was rising up and down rapidly as you laid there breathless from your desire. Jisung slid his sweats and briefs down at once, his cock springing free and standing firm. It was long and not too thick and curved up. He was gorgeous so it wasn’t surprising that he had a pretty cock too. Feeling it in your hand had been one thing but seeing it now, your mouth watered for him.

“Jisungie...” You whined for him and he came to kneel between your legs on the bed. His hands traveled up your sides their destination being your breasts which he cupped firmly before grabbing the center of your bra with both hands and ripping it open, your big breasts bouncing free as you gasped in shock.

“HAN JISUNG, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A BRA LIKE THAT COSTS!?” Jisung leaned down sucking a nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth until it was perked and hard effectively stopping your complaint. He let go and smirked at you.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll buy you a new one jagi.” His lips wrapped around your other nipple and he sucked on it gently as you melted underneath him. Jisung kissed his way down your body until his face hovered right over your clothed core. He gripped your panties and looked up at you.

“These expensive too?” He said quirking his eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes at him playfully.

“YES. And my favorite pair so DON’T rip them.” Jisung pouted and then gently slid your panties over your ass and down your legs. When his face was lined up with your naked, dripping, cunt you started to feel your heartbeat pick up. Before you had a chance to let your nerves get the best of you again, Jisung spread your lower lips open and licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves between his pouty lips and drinking in every bit of you. Your hands gripped Jisung’s hair as he licked, kissed, and sucked on your clit. He was messy but with finesse and between your arousal and his spit and drool you were certain there had to be a puddle forming underneath you.

“Ji... oh my god! I’m... I’m...” He hummed in satisfaction that he had you unable to form words and the vibrations from his mouth against your pussy sent you reeling into a mind-blowing orgasm. Your thick thighs clamped around Jisung’s head as you thrust your hips up grinding against his tongue and face. Only when your body relaxed back onto the bed and you were a shuddering mess did Jisung stop kitten licking your sensitive clit. He climbed on top of you and started kissing you, first all over your face, then by your ear, down your neck and shoulder. His lips left your skin and he looked at you for a second thinking about how he’d almost fucked everything with you up, about how he could have lost you but now here you were underneath him panting and glowing still trying to recover from your orgasm. When you opened your eyes and looked at Jisung he leaned down and softly kissed your lips as he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you.

“Fuck! So wet, so soft!” The further Jisung sunk into the faster your soft puffs of breath came out and when he bottomed out inside you, you gasped. He looked at you quickly.

“Are you okay jagi?” You nodded biting your bottom lip overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you after just coming down from your first orgasm. Jisung rolled his hips testing to see your reaction. Your eyes went wide and you gasped again.

“Jisungie! Oh, my fucking god! You feel so good inside me! Please don’t stop!” Jisung started giving you steady hip rolls fucking you slow and deep. He thrust his cock deeper into you, his pelvic bone adding pressure to your clit as well. Your body was buzzing with excitement and your fingers and toes felt like they were going numb from the pleasure. The sound of your drenched cunt and Jisung’s hips slapping against your soft thighs egged him on and he started to fuck you faster, pulling out further and pushing back into you harder each time.

“FUCK jagiya you take my cock so well beautiful. Look at how well we fit together jagi FUCK!” You looked down where Jisung’s dick, coated in your juices, disappeared inside you and clenched at the sight.

“Fucking perfect just like I said baby, your pussy was made for me, this is mine now.” Jisung spit on two of his fingers and started rubbing your clit quickly pushing you towards your next orgasm that much faster.

“God YES Ji please... please... please...” Jisung smiled down at you, sweat dripping down his face.

“Please what gorgeous, what do you want?” You gripped Jisung’s hips, his soft skin warm under your touch.

“PLEASE FUCK ME HARDER! MAKE ME CUM JI! FILL ME UP JAGIYA!” Jisung lost his mind hearing you say that, call him that. He gripped your hips and started railing you as hard and fast as his body would let him. The sweat from his face and hair dripping down his chest and back now his teeth clamped onto his bottom lip.

“You’re gonna let me cum in this tight pussy right jagi? You’re gonna take my load and let me mark what’s mine yea?” You moaned out your approval.

“FUCK yes! Ji fuck fuck! Give me your cum fucking make me yours Jisung... I’m yours!” You came hard around his cock as he continued to drive into you chasing his own climax and prolonging yours. Your body rolled and your hips chased his as you rode out the best orgasm you’d had in your life.

“FUCKING beautiful! God you’re gorgeous when you cum y/n... FUCK I can feel your pussy quivering on my fucking cock, you feel so good jagi!” You started coming down from the high of your orgasm, body still buzzing like a million bees lived under your skin and you started begging Jisung.

“Fuck Ji you’re gonna give it to me right? Fuck I want it so bad! Please cum inside me please! It's gonna be a big load yea? Fuck I hope it’s a big load jagiya, need you to fill me up good, need to feel you dripping from my cunt.” Jisung’s head tilted back as his hips stuttered and he unloaded inside you.

“FUUUUUuuuuuck jagiya FUCK! Fucking take it! You wanted a big load baby there you go! FUCK! Take my cum like a good girl yea?” Jisung stayed buried inside you until his cock started getting soft. When he pulled out a huge trail of cum came dripping out after. Jisung took two fingers and scooped up the mixture of yours and his cum and sucked them clean.

“Fuck beautiful...” He ran his fingers through the trail of cum still leaking from your hole collecting more of your mingled juices and he brought his fingers to your lips this time.

“Taste.” You opened your mouth and sucked on his fingers, swirling your tongue around his digits and humming in delight.

“Good yea jagi? We taste perfect together.” Jisung scooped the remaining cum dripping from you up and pushed it back inside you pumping his fingers slowly in and out.

“J-Jisung... I... I ca-”

“One more jagiya, just one more, you can give me one more yea?” Jisung’s fingers picked up speed and he fucked them into you harder, curling them and easily finding your g-spot.

“FUCK JI! I... I... FUCK JI!” That was exactly what he was looking for, he plunged his fingers deep into you only bringing them out a millimeter or so and pushing them deeper, then leaned down and sucked your cum glazed clit into his mouth, slurping on you as he fucked your hole hard with his fingers, the cum he filled you with coating them and dripping down your asshole, causing you to clench around his fingers that seemed to find that delicious spot inside you with precision.

“Squirt for me jagiya, fucking cum on me baby.” He whispered against your pussy before diving back in and devouring your cunt like a ravenous animal. Between Jisung’s fingers and mouth the taut string inside you snapped.

“MMmm FUCK FUCK JI OH FUCK I’M COMING I'M COMING!” You had never squirted before in your life but suddenly you were soaking Jisung and his sheets. His fingers, still deep inside you, gently massaging your g-spot, giving your clit tiny little licks with the tip of his tongue as you finished coming on his face and started twitching and shuddering from the overstimulation. When Jisung removed his fingers and sat up you saw your cum dripping from his chin and glistening on his chest.

“Oh my god, did I?!” Jisung smirked and leaned over kissing your lips softly before giggling against them.

“Cum all over me? Yea baby you did and it was sexy as fuck!” You blushed and tried to push him off as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and tickled you with his kisses and love bites. You pushed harder and he finally sat up, he got very quiet and looked down at you softly smiling. The longer Jisung’s eyes roamed your naked body the more uncomfortable you got. Now that you weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment and lost in the pleasure Jisung had been giving you, the little negative voices in your head came back to put you back in your place. You grabbed a throw blanket he had at the foot of his bed and went to cover up feeling far to exposed in the moment. Jisung thought you looked so beautiful; you didn’t need to cover up. He wished he had never said the things he did, that he’d never made an insecurity you already had worse. He had looked at you laying there your full breasts, the soft tummy rolls, the plush love handles just over your hips, your thick ass and thighs, FUCK you were perfect but when you saw him staring at you like that you only felt overwhelmed by your doubts about your body.

“Why don’t we go take a shower yea? Get cleaned up and go to bed?” Jisung’s suggestion sounded so tempting, a nice hot shower after getting fucked senseless but it also meant standing under florescent bathroom lights where he’d be able to see ever stretch mark, every dimple of cellulite, every flaw. He could see you having an internal battle with yourself over it.

“Hey...” You looked up at him like you’d been startled from your thoughts.

“I know whatever is going on in that gorgeous noggin of yours is my fault right now...” You pressed your lips together.

“Jisung no...” He shook his head and put up his hand stopping you.

“y/n yes, it is. It might have been something you were self-conscious about already but I only threw fuel on the fire. I PROMISE I will do whatever I can to prove to you that you are a beautiful human being, just the way you are. I PROMISE I’ll always make sure to tell you how absolutely stunning you are and how you are leaps and bounds out of my league and yet for some reason you slum it for me.” He winked at you and you laughed.

“So... shower?” He suggested again. You smiled and nodded. Jisung stood up and offered his hand to help you off the bed. You headed to the bathroom with Jisung fused to your back kissing whatever his lips could find.

“You know if we fuck in the shower I could cum all over these and clean you right up.” His hand squeezed your breasts tightly before roaming over your tummy, your hips and ass. You were barely up the hall and Jisung was already trying to slide his fingers through your folds again. When you got to the bathroom door you turned and pecked his lips.

“That’s true jagiya, or you could cum down my throat and I could just swallow it and have no mess at all.” You licked up his lips to the tip of his nose and went into the bathroom as he stood there speechless for a moment before chasing after you.

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@ughbehavior @chansynie @jquellen27 @caroline-ds-world

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