#that im not a burden for feeling this way and that im ok and that he loves me

[britneyshakespeare]

My Ántonia by Willa Cather, chapter XI

#i am really not enjoying this book but i did like this one description #made me feel for the characters. for the first time #willa cather #my ántonia #i feel like this book has a way of undercutting everything i want to find interesting in it #and descriptions are often so long and lifeless #it cannot be called a book where a whole lot happens #and frankly jim burden as a narrator is just bizarrely uninteresting #i have so many questions for him that he has no mind to answer #im like ok then. back to describing the rolling red fields of nebraska once again #im almost done w the first section of the book 'the shimerdas' #pls tell me this picks up some steam at some point... #technically a big thing just happened plot wise but it seems to have resulted in no intriguing revelations in character #jim burden is allergic to that

[ozlices]

as a person w so goddamn much medical trauma the thought of having to go through the process to find a new doctor that is not just simply compatible w me, but who is also, like. u know. an actually nice, understanding person who will put genuine effort into taking proper care of me is so taxing. like i wish it was a simpler process, but it's not. bc i gotta deal w the very real possibility that by having to go through this process, my medical trauma will be worsened even further. & it is already bad enough that i have panic attacks every time i have to go to any sort of medical facility.

im literally so fucking furious over how much this happens. & that there's no fucking consequence for doing it to a Human Being. for tossing a Human Being that needs medical care aside like a piece of fucking trash. the american healthcare system is such a stupid fucking joke.

#mine #and it sucks bc tbh im at a point where i rly wish i could say 'fuck it' & just. not bother. #but i dont have a choice bc im on daily medications that i cant abruptly stop & Have to take to function #like i literally dont even know how to like. deal w processing the doctor my family has had for potentially decades just dropping me #outta nowhere. like damn i literally cant even trust the doctor literally my entire immediate family has seen for YEARS #to fucking give a shit abt me. #ive been through such an absurd amount of betrayals this year i literally feel like a broken shell of a person #im numbing. i really fucking am. what the fuck else am i sposed to do. #like... literally i feel so nauseous over this shit. #no warning. no head's up. just 'oh btw we're not treating [them] anymore.' #like ????????????????? #bruh this year has fucking brutalized my dissociation. i literally dont feel like a real person w feelings anymore. #bc ive just been treated like a piece of shit that's an inconvenience & a burden & worth more effort than i deserve to be granted. #it's so... just... idk. man. i dont even have it in me to be sad or hurt anymore #im just so fucking burnt out & exhausted. ive been wallowing in merciless agony since i had to move back in w my parents #i am genuinely BARELY surviving at this point & Still shit just Keeps Piling On. #i literally dont know what to do w myself anymore. im trying as hard as i fucking can but holy fucking shit. #i already have way less energy to spare than the average person bruh. it's ridiculous #im sick of being told it'll be ok. im sick of being told ppl feel sorry for me. #im sick of complaining. im sick of being miserable. im sick of feeling like this. #i just want to be done w all the hardships im so fucking exhausted i dont wanna be a person anymore man. #also like. v fucking taxing bc not every doctor can nor will prescribe my adhd meds. #so. like. that's also terrifying. nauseating to deal with. #i literally just want to give up bruh and not even in a suicidal way like i just am so sick of trying for nothing #i could do nothing at all and still be put through bullshit im over it all im so fucking over it. #never in my life has being told 'it'll be ok' felt more dismissive than it does this year but my god. does it feel so dismissive & taxing. #ive literally never not been more not okay than i have been this year. & i continuously get more brutalized no matter what. #it's exhausting as shit just let me fucking breathe what the fuck jfc.

[bloggirl8842]

I feel like one of my friends is being weird with me but I’ve got no proof all I know is I asked her for another friend’s number (someone I haven’t spoken to in 4 yrs 😟) and she stopped texting me back and liking my posts. Which could be entirely incidental like it should just be entirely incidental but I am getting a weird vibe

#i had a massive crush on the other friend for awhile. that could be it? but she didnt know abt that so idk. im reaching out to him bc im try #ing to text a bunch of artists i grew up and he was like the main one for a bit so avoiding him would be way weirder than just being normal. #also ofc i got over the crush years ago. i regret it a bit i mean not the feeling i guess bc u cant regret honest things like that but i #regret the way it made me act i couldve just been normal! i didnt learn how to do that til after #i think i just had a lot of shame around existing like i didnt enjoy my personality i didnt socialize well i wasnt pretty i had no real pass #ion for anything so i felt like a burden whenever i liked anyone and got REALLY weird about it. like stop talking to them start memorizing t #heir hallway routes weird 😭 anyways im mostly worried like girl please dont be weird w me i value our friendship and also directness #though i do think it must be incidental. but the little possibility that its not…. #it bothers me bc shes like niku ur so real and its like ok b real w me back. but im guessing shes just busy or distracted or something like #ive got a lot of people lm supposed to write who i just havent

[pepprs]

i don’t know what the fuck is going on or why its happening to me but every SINGLE day since saturday something has come up related to [data expunged]. and it is genuinely making me crazy. idk if the universe is trying to show me a sign or plunge me into misery but i would like everyone and everything everywhere to shut up about [data expunged] effective immediately because it has made things very uncomfortable very fast and i am NOT having a good time

#i made a mistake of writing about it too and now everything is weird because of it. i just want to bury my head under a pillow and let 3 #weeks go by and hopefully it’ll have been long enough for the coincidences to stop and to be forgotten. but like omggggg why was the one #ig video that got recommended to me about this specific topic in the specific way that upsets me and makes me feel like a burden for things #i can’t control AND makes me feel primal anxiety / rage at being left out (🥴) AND makes me feel defective because ive redacted redacted r #redacted. lollll. and the thing is even if im not aware of it it’s never gonna go away and i have t actually act on it to make it better and #to feel less lonely / defective / left out / whatever. but how do i even do that. i live in a pit of quicksand and would never redacted on p #principle. so im doomed to be like this my whole life i guess bc clearly im never moving out of here and will always be across the hall from #redacted and around people who will always be smarter and more experienced and whatever than me. ughhjhjhhhhghrghhhhhhb mental illnessssss 😍 #delete later #purrs #like i don’t understand how some social things come so easily to people. i am apparently pretty good at faking understanding bc ive gotten #by ok enough but i just don’t understand and everyone else seems to but me. and i was thinking abt this last night as i was faling asleepnwn #and i was too tired to write it down so im doing it now / here i guess: i just KNOW i will be too skittish to redacted. still. at 23. if #something comes my way or if it’s like any of the other ones i will be too skittish and i will shake it off again and i don’t know why. i #ruin friendships when i do that. i need to stop. but i can feel my skittishness when i think about it and i hate that #also for the record this is not abt anyone on here or about anything anyone on here can fix / is directly involved w. sorry

[ii-zi]

Even when they ask, venting to people makes me feel like a tar pit lol

#E asked like what's up i havent seen u in years u never come when we gather like are u Ok #n i was thinking for so long like a way to explain without burdening them but also not seem like making generic excuses.. #and after thinking for so long and not liking anything i was too tired to be coherent #so I just started writing.. and ended up venting without even asking if it was ok in 34 fucking messages lol #dropped as much as i could think of. cried in the bathroom for a while. played it cool in the gc #genuinely feel like concrete shoes on everyones feet every time i speak to anyone specifically my friends #like yeah friends r there to support u n shit but like. im well aware of how terribly tiring it gets when someone only #opens their mouth to vent lol #worrying about worrying them only adds to my worries. do you see my point #vent #personal #it is not only a chore and a pain (and a source of worries) to them but also to me #so they can like. pretend it's not happening. or keep poking to try and help. or silently slide off like w C #but idk which one would hurt less lol #even here w how often i vent i feel like yall see these type of post and just go ''ah. bottomless pit of despair again. dear god'' #and that's not like. being unking towards yall. i get tired of /having/ to vent this much lol it is a lil freeing but #freeing like putting off a lil of the fire that is burning you alive is freeing. id much rather not have been on fire from the beginning yk

[bo0zey]

everyday i wake up against my will n im lettin y’all know now that i’m abt 1 more waking up against my will day away from somehow someway making it god’s personal problem

#blueface baby ayyy #i love my cat but sometimes i am annoyed bc if it wasn’t for his existence i would said sayanora Long ago lmao #i wanna d word i was not supposed to make it past 18 i’m so fucking angry #im not gonna amt to anything in life i’m so scared of it all so pathetic and weak #i’m too weak for this world someone else can have my place i was never supposed to be here anyways hahah i’m not good at anything #i have zero talents ive wasted 10 years of my life writing books and publishing nothing i live in my stupid dreamworld #i don’t know how to hold a conversation i don’t want to go outside i want to rot in my bed i am so sick of myself #also don’t come in my ask box on some wahwahwah stop self pitying crybaby grow up ok bc i’ve literally been telling myself that for years #if someone walked up to me rn n was like here have this euthanasia pill and i knew my cat would #be safe and happy w someone else then yes i would take it in a heartbeat lmao no water necessary !! #im a burden to my family a financial burden all i’m good for is putting more debt unto others how USELESS!!!!!!!! #i have no friends but it’s my fault bc i don’t talk to anyone back i just i can’t #i think subconsciously i’m trying to push everyone further and further away so when i die they aren’t hurt #i don’t want a funeral i don’t want anyone to grieve me i feel like a narcissist even assuming someone would grieve over me lol #i just want to be forgotten about i want everyone to keep living and doing well without me to get in their way #i’m just an obstacle in other ppls lives a hindrance a fucking troll without a riddle just hurtful mean words #i’ll write everyone apology notes #i have so much guilt inside me it’s filled my lungs and heart sometimes i can’t breathe if i think abt all the ppl i’ve hurt by being alive #god put me on this earth to teach ppl lessons abt avoiding ppl like me #fuck god i’m done being his puppet i’m done hurting ppl i’m gonna go away someday and no one will ever hurt again #why do i want to cry i’m so fucking self absorbed why the fuck am i sad abt myself #i think subconsciously there’s something in me that wishes to stay alive and be the positive impact on ppls lives like i always wanted #i always wanted to help ppl and make friends and include everyone and now i’m just so toxic i let younger me and everyone else down so bad #i feel like my mom hated me too right now i feel like she deserved a better prettier smarter funnier more selfless daughter #im ok everyone btw im just being dramatic n venting lol dw i’ll start writing in a journal instead of tags soon #shut up cianna

[noxtivagus]

IDENTITY CRISIS WOOOO

#🌙.rambles #ok i will move these to my spam account soon but wait quick rant. actually not fully rant just smth i find interesting to think about #since yk how we ourselves change somewhat. like. huh. everyone to an extent i think but as an empath i'm probably more susceptible to it #depending on the people we're with. the environment n all. we change a bit #like w each friend i just naturally end up matching their way of text n their mannerisms esp when i'm around them #while most of it is natural n all too it's one of my love languages >< i love the feeling of. yk having more similarity #personally for me it makes me feel more understood n connected #NO FUCKING WAYYYY WAIT. SOB. watching from apollo's laptop rn a bit of that one cutscene with emet-selch ffxiv n bestie #the way. the way he looks at the wol. THE WAY HE SMILED.... HE DOESN'T SMILE OFTEN???? THIS GRUMPY LIL MF #wait i'm emotional. meteion and hermes n. FUCKKK #SOB HERMES YOU NEVER MANAGED TO FIND YOUR ANSWER. I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY #GOD CCAN YOU TELL THE KIND OF PERSON I AM FROM MY FAVE CHARAS #A 'FIELD OF FLOWERS'. IM GNA CRYYYYYY 'thank you for guiding me here' i. GOD I'M EMOTIONAL THIS #mafuyu's my fav chara. i'm a kanade kin. hahaha. & then. i'm a dark knight main in ffxiv. after tank i'm also a healer main #can you see? i love to. i love to help others oh my fucking god n it burdens me but. i love it more. as a strength. #flow is making me emotional. the lyrics mean so much to me. with ffxiv context n then. my emotional attachment to it for numerous reasons #the lyrics. out of context comfort me. resonate with me. the rain. stars. fate. memory. love. water. sleep. dawn. dreams. #i wonder what words others hold in importance. that resonate with their soul. & what it means to them. memories too #i know in certainty for me. i want to learn of everyone else #this little world of mine. i wonder. how. it looks like in your eyes. what others wish to learn of me too. i can only hope that #i'm so used to fiction you see. reality feels so distant at times. n with my differences it. oft feels i don't belong #yet still i hold on. why? bcs there's so much more to life. please don't give up. you deserve so much more. #n to everyone i know now. to just indulge in myself maybe. a selfish desire. i hope this will last. n i'll be there to see you #better and happier in the future. for as short and long as we know each other i care for all of you so so much #maybe i'm sorry for ever loving you in whichever way it differs per person in my life. but i'll be a bother. i don't want to #i don't want to lose anyone anymore #god... thinking back on drk and. myste's words resonate with me so much. love and forgiveness has always meant so much to me #ah yeah i remember again who i am. don't think twice is also making me extra emotional #i'm sorry though. it really does hurt n. time's going far too fast. but i'll try to do what i can. so long as you're still with me i think #i can manage. that's enough. that would be enough. even if i'm not enough. i'll hold unto myself and. what's important to me

[veeaziel]

currently that time of the month and im starting to feel every sad, angry, irritated, icky feeling from the past 2 months all at once but also not?? and also a tiktok popped up with the song "it's time" by imagine dragons and i just immediately teared up and now i wanna cry of nostalgia

#also kinda feel like i shouldnt be feeling like this #bc for god's sake the only things i have to worry about are thankfully my classes #but its very heavy lately #including an extracurricular teams for which i get no credit hours #and a lot of the burden from that team is falling on me as a division lead #instead of the division members feeling the urgency for THEIR grade #its me urging them to do the shit #and like i feel bad bc im stressing out and complaining about this shit while my friends dad was literally hospitalized for 2 days #for an apparent heart attack #hes ok thank god #but then like. dude stop complaining #my other friends uncle died a few weeks ago #and she has to work and study and is a member of her graduating class council #like get it together #i just #i also want a hug now apparently #fuck #i wish i was more comfortable around my friends. enough to actually act on being all cuddly with them. but ive never been like that #but that date i went on that was a bust i realized i would love to be held #not particularly in a romantic way #and now im gonna cry :) #veeaziel rants #fucks sake this is a vent post #i defo need a therapist at some point in my life

[destroyrai]

peeta : katniss im sorry for the way ive been acting i know your feelings must be a huge burden, you owe me nothing and i hope-

gale: ok but katniss i get you have trauma but do u like me or peeta

#katniss and peeta #everlark #katniss everdeen #gale hawthorne #the hunger games

[thehealingplum]

It's so very lonely to have so many people who enjoy your presence but you rarely ever feel like you should be pouring your heart out to anyone.

#i feel my emotional burdens are too heavy #i dont want to whine about them all the time #i just wanna stop feeling like im alone #tbh i dont know if anyone felt closer than him #for those several years we spoke to each other #i opened up to him the most #i wouldnt say i was in love #but he was definitely someone who meant way too much for me #and i hope hes ok #sorry for my bold accusations about your boyfriend

[pepprs]

also like to clarify.. we were not expecting her to leave. and any time she would have left would’ve been bad timing but it’s like.. this was HER program and we didn’t have enough time to really get to know it as well as she did (and still does probably). and there are so many flaws in it that we didn’t have time to address and our attention was spread so thin bc we were / still are juggling a million things and trying to compensate for the vacancy in our already extremely and egregiously small staff. so i get that the leaders may be feeling unsupported and resentful of that and that is very valid. but it’s like.. if that is in fact the case i think it’s important to know that this is not ideal for us either. we lost the person who knew this program inside and out and we still haven’t recovered and even though her position has been filled now (by my new colleague bestie who is AMAZING and has been helpful and supportive and has gone above and beyond in every way and i adore them don’t get me wrong) we may never fully recover from it or at least we won’t for a very long time. and im not even just talking about like the impact on our work. i mean on us as people who were closely psychically bound together. which sounds freakish and weird but we were. that wound is going to take a long time to fully scar and when the scar forms it will always be there. so excuse us for not putting on a perfect asb less than a year after she left us we are kind of seeing the consequences of all of the horrors right now lol.

#purrs #delete later #i need to not be so fucking bitter about it i know it’s not helpful at all. but it just feels so unfair. i feel attacked. i know we had a #lot of room to grow and we still do but it’s like.. we did the best we could and we’re doing the best we could now. and it just sucks. the #things we thought were going well were not. and the things i need to cope they have grudges about. so like what the fuck ever. it’s like at #this point i hate all of them and never want to see them again. LIKE THE WAY IVE BEEN FUCKING BENDING OVER BACKWARDS over text trying to #help one of them bc she texts me all the time and it turns out she thinks we’re evil??? lol. ok. whatever. like go fuck yourself lmao #<- i need to just get this out of my system bc it’s soooo immature and unhelpful and not how a staff member should respond to this and #posting abt it online is dangerous and has consequences. but i just feel so miserable. and small. and painfully aware of my smallness. #and alone and helpless. and unable to support the people who actually are being responsible and mature and coming to confess stuff to us #even though they’re snitching or whatever. like this shit is so unbelievably fucking stupid and i shouldn’t be letting it get me down but i #just feel very vulnerable to it all rn and lonely. but typing out my thoughts and knowing peopel will read them helps (cringe). ok i should #go to bed now bc we have a very long and early day tmrrw and i haven’t prepared for what im supposed to do AT ALL bc we were in that session #for like 5 hours when it was only supposed to be 1.5 and i didn’t get to eat and my ut*rus is trying to rip my body apart like a wolverine! #* unable to support the ppl who are actually being responsible.. LET ALONE my colleague besties who are each carrying the burdens of this in #different ways and are also processing this difficult news in ways that will have implications for our past present and future! like lollll

[talaok]

His favorite patient

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: Your friend Pedro takes care of you while you're sick, and he's such a good doctor, that something sparks between the two of you.

warnings: reader being sick and having a fever (?) and my shitty writing cause im tired

(this was a request, and a very beautiful one too)

All you had done was text him that you were sick, and the next thing you knew, he was knocking at your door. 

And that wasn't even the weirdest part, the weirdest part was that you weren't surprised, because that's how Pedro was, caring, protective, and always there for you, no matter what.

The first thing he'd done as you opened the door was scolding you for even being up, and consequently, the second was ushering you to your own couch and forcing you to sit down.

You laughed the whole time at how worried he was, but then again, your genuine gratitude shined through with his every act, a gentle smile and a "thank you" spilled out of your lips the moment he made you tea, or wrapped you up in a blanket, or pulled you into his chest when the cover stopped being enough.

You remained like that, hiding in his arm while watching tv for the whole afternoon, but unfortunately, after he'd made you some soup (which you had tried convincing you could cook on your own) and ate it with you, it was time for him to go. 

So with a heavy heart and a final hug, he was gone... only to return 2 minutes later.

"Missed me already?" you joked, opening the door again

"Always" he smiled, before getting more serious "I have a problem with my car" he explained "It's not turning on, and I-" he scratched the back of his neck, trailing off "I kind of have no way of getting home"

"oh" you breathed, understanding the situation "You can just stay here" You shrugged, the solution obvious in your eyes

"Are you sure? I don't wanna be a burden or anythin-"

"a burden?" you frowned, stunned "What are you talking about Pedro, you could never be a burden" you promised, inviting him in again "and plus... I feel safer with my own personal doctor here with me" you grinned playfully

"yeah?" he laughed "Well then how could I refuse to help my favorite patient?"

"Favorite?" you gasped, feigning flatter as your right hand went to your heart "You're gonna make me blush doctor"

He snorted at that, his eyes lingering on yours for a second too long.

"Well then, the doctor's ordering bed rest"

You scowled at him, rolling your eyes

"I'm already starting to regret my decision" you muttered, but in no time, you were laid beneath the covers, ready to go to sleep.

"Ok then you're all set, I'll go prep the couch" he said, starting for the door

"what?" you asked

"the couch, I need to-"

You stopped him before he could go on

"You're not sleeping on the couch Pedro" you stated, watching his brows frown "It's uncomfortable as hell" you explained "and there's enough room here for the both of us" Your eyes went to the empty spot beside you

"Oh- no, y/n I can't"

"yes, yes you can" you interrupted him again "And you will" you decided "I'm sick, so that means you have to do whatever I tell you"

"sweetheart..."he sighed, glaring at you

"please" you pouted, "It would make me feel better knowing you're close to me" you pleaded, your best puppy eyes on you.

And what could Pedro do but not agree when you were looking at him like that? He was only a man after all.

"alright" he grumbled, "but I hope you know that means you'll have to hear me snore the whooole night"

But as it turns out, you didn't.

Your fever started going up the moment you shut off the lights, you turned and tossed the whole night, while him... he stayed up with you, checking your fever, giving you medicine and placing wet cold cloths on your forehead, until finally... you started feeling better and began drifting off... if only, of course, those damned church bells hadn't rung.

But even then, Pedro was there, placing his hands on your ears to try and protect you from the noise, and once they stopped, once he had gotten a taste of how good it felt to stay so close to you, well then he didn't have it in him to lean away, so he did the opposite: he put his arm around you and pulled you close, gently whispering "You need to rest", before inevitably, you did as told.

And it was only the morning after that you remembered all of it, it was only once you woke up, his arm still reassuringly around you, his words still reverberating in your ear, that you realized everything.

"good morning" he murmured, his head nestled into your neck

"morning" you smiled, your voice hoarse as you turned around to look at him, finding him but an inch from your face... and yet he didn't lean away.

"thank you" you whispered "for everything"

"darling I'm always gonna be here for you, whatever you need"

You smiled wide, watching his eyes fall to your lips 

"stop it" you murmured

"stop what?" he laughed

"being so nice"

"why?" he asked, smiling

You bit your lip, pondering if saying what you wanted to say really was a good idea... but then again, it was the truth, so...

"'cause you're making me want to kiss you"

"'s that right?" he smirked, inching closer

"mh-mh" 

"and what's stopping you?"

"I don't want you to get sick" you said, watching him huff a laugh

"sweetheart" he shook his head, grinning brightly "I would catch a thousand colds if it meant I got to kiss you"

And although your heart skipped a beat, you couldn't help but laugh out a quick "that's disgusting", before his lips finally met with yours.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x gn reader #pedro pascal blurb #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x fem reader #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #dad!pedro pascal #the last of us #joel miller #tlou #the mandalorian #javier peña #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #Pedro Pascal #fluff #daddy pascal #pedrohub #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedrito

[urfriendlywriter]

"i want to save this relationship, please." prompts :

(feel free to use <3 req by @thyme-in-a-bubble. god the 15th, 17th, 20th, 22nd, 24th???? has me crying. @urfriendlywriter )

ignoring one another

"i think we need some time apart.."

"this won't work, [name]."

"i can't go a minute without you, babe, please don't do this to me.."

trying to talk it out but it always ending up in an argument

"you are going to let a misunderstanding destroy us?"

"is it so easy for you to assume than to listen to me for goddamn once??"

"please, talk with me. how else are we going to solve this..."

getting into fights but becoming physically much clingier

"how could you point your finger at me so easily ??"

not being able to talk it out, but still showing physical affection - taking your hand in theirs, massaging you in silence, hugging, cuddling.

or - watching them walk out the room to sleep alone

^ "it has now come to this huh?" and them turning back, regret and sadness in their eyes, "what do you want me to do then?"

trying to be a better person always

"bury my heart deeper, love. If that's what you're trying--it's working." with a painful smile. or tears in their eyes.

telling each other how much you cherish one another

2 am and they're at your doorstep, crying, as they say, "i don't want to go to sleep-with this hanging between us, im so so sorry."

"lets take turns ranting, shall we? we don't want this to burden us."

"you didn't hear one word i said, did you?"

"trust me." "oh, im trying to, so hard rn."

"you think i came all the way here to fight with you? No, [name], i wanna talk this out, over a cup of tea, too. relax. breathe and talk. aint no way we're stressing ourselves out." with a few clicks of the tongue. CUS THIS? green flag.

"when have you ever cared?" ouch.

"i didn't know you felt all that.. I'm sorry."

"what.. are we now?" OK THE ANGST IF ITS WRITTEN RIGHT??? INSANE

the glances either starts to glint with hatred. or love that's beyond reach.

#writer prompts #otp prompts #dialogue prompts #imagine your otp #writeblr #writing prompts #urfriendlywriter #angsty romance prompts #angsty dialouge prompts #angst starter #angst prompts #prompt list #writing inspo #writing inspiration #writing ideas #writing help #AHHHH THIS HAS ME FEELING LIKE SHI #sad prompts #fluffy prompts #soft dialogue prompts #green flags #red flags #character tropes #otp things #otp meme #otp ideas #otp drabble prompts #writing drabble #drabble ideas #otp writing

[elinaline]

.

#by the way @ friends ive kept complaining to to the last months im so sorry for putting you in the caretaker stance #im doing my everything not to be a burden. please feel free to tell me if im too much #i know im too much for me its ok if its too much for you

[blue-sadie]

Temperamental

Neteyam x Mate Reader x Aonung

Summary: they might as well keep you on a leash

Warning: reader gets distracted quiet easily, poly relationship, stress build up, reader has a break down. aged up characters

Yn/3rd person pov

"umm neteyam" i murmured holding the button down on the intercom that was attached to my neck as I wondered through the unfamiliar part of the island.

"Yes my love" he sighed with exhaustion, I cringed to myself already knowing what his reaction will be to my current situation.

"I uh..... I got lost again" I shamefully admitted and yelped as a little creature jumped out the bush and ran away.

I heard a deep sigh from his end and a soft call for aonung "ok baby we're on our way" he said before his side went dead.

I sat on a small rock and fidgeted with my fingers as I waited, I didn't mean for this to happen its just I've been so distracted lately because I've taken on tasks that I can't seem to keep up with.

And it seems that the village seem to leave a ton of more tasks for me to do and if I don't do them or do them right they give me an almost disappointed look.

It makes it hard to be around the boys because their amazing and exceed their expectations and even more and I'm just here making it more difficult.

I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them tightly sometimes I just feel like a burden to them.

"Yn" my head jerked to the direction of their voices "Im here" I called out to them and walked to their direction "there you are" aonung said and pulled me into his arms.

"you had us worried sick" neteyam muttered and ran a hand through his hair "i-im sorry" I whispered.

"Let's go home" aonung butted in and had his arm around my shoulder as we started making our way back to the village.

It was night time when we got back and the boys were tired so I quickly made a quick meal for them.

"We should keep her on a leash I'm telling you" my eyes flattered in sadness as I heard neteyam speak to aonung.

"Nete come on she was fine" aonung reasoned but neteyam just sighed "she could've gotten hurt" he said making aonung reconsider his words "maybe".

I gulped and quickly brought over their food and decided to eat mine a little ways from them by myself.

Why can't I life up to my expectations why can't I be perfect, all these thoughts clouded my head as i just played with my food not feeling that hungry.

Maybe I just need to sleep this off, I got to my feet and packed up my food and cleaned up before murmuring a 'goodnight' before heading to bed.

It didn't take long for sleep to find me but all I was missing was the boys warmth surrounding me 'maybe their not tired'.

-Next morning-

I woke up feeling a slight tug on my back "w-whats going on" I asked sleepily as I slowly sat up and rubbing my eyes.

"We've decided this will keep you safe" neteyam said as he showed me the rope attached to my back.

My eyes widened "w-what" I pulled at the rope but he held fast "s-stop" I tried taking it off but aonung held my hands so I couldn't.

"Yn" he murmured crouching in front of me as he stared into my eyes "this will keep you safe".

"Please no" I said as tears filled my eyes and my breathing started to become uneven.

"Please" I whispered "why are you crying my love" aonung asked and wiped my tears away.

"I-i can't do it anymore" I cried looking down at my lap "can't do what yn" neteyam voice was full of concern as he sat beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

"I can't be perfect I can never be perfect" I hiccuped my body shaking with each one.

"You are perfect" aonung smiled as he urged me to look at him "but I'm not you guys are you do more then your asked and me I can't even finish my chores without getting side tracked" I sniffed making them coo at me and hold me close.

"I see you finish all your tasks so what are you not finishing" neteyam murmured I sighed heavily "a-a few of the people has asked me to help them out and it seems that a lot of them want me to do their work to" I said.

The boys stared silently before taking off the rope and pulled me back into be "w-what" I asked and blushed as I was sandwiched between them tightly.

"We're sorry we didn't take notice sooner" neteyam whispered and kissed my cheek lightly.

"I'm sorry that we didn't take care of you when you needed it most"

Tag.List

@neteyamyawne @erenjaegerwifee @greekgods15 @sweetirilly

#avatar #avatar pandora #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #avatar x reader fluff #avatar fluff #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam fluff #neteyam x reader fluff #aonung #aonung fluff #aonung x reader #aonung x reader fluff

[peaterookie]

Lupin Week 2024 Day 4: AUs and Mythology

Goemon's face looks like he's seen a ghost.

ahhhh god ok my stupid stupid silly au i made a year ago.... this will be a bit long so get ready

tldr: lupin died, the gang is alive. goemon finds lupin but he's a shark merman!? and lupin remembers nothing!!!

long version:

so this AU follows upon the story of shin lupin, which basically, the gang gets killed off by zenigata because he rigged an island full of explosives.

instead of them all dying however, lupin decides to knock the gang unconscious and find a way for them to escape off the island safely, leaving only him in the island to die.

the rest of the gang had no idea how they escaped and assumed that lupin had sacrificed himself for them. they woke up adrifted on the ocean until they eventually got picked up by a ship where the invisible captain from new adventures returns. but ah ill spare the details for another day

---

2 years have passed and the gang just kinda separated to do their own thing. we'll only focus on goemon cuz he's the featured character of this comic.

goemon decided to escape the life of crime that has burdened him for years living as a part of the lupgang. he's mostly a wanderer now and tries to do good and help people along the way

funnily enough, goemon is not the first person to find lupin, but I'll talk about this later. but goemon is definitely very mixed about seeing his friend who he thought was dead for years. he doesn't know whether to be happy or worried.

---

lupin, at the brink of death after the explosion, plummets down the ocean and wakes up one day, feeling like he's been rebirthed!

essentially, lupin became a merman because right before he could die, his body (i mean what's left of it 💀) interacted with a magic crystal that has the ability to grant life to a living being.

It's really rare, but it exists in clusters deep in the ocean floor or- deep under the rocks of an island :) you can say im bullshitting, which i am but i dont think exploding an entire island down to every rock has happened before, so it can kinda make sense why something so coincidental about these crystals could happen. (I AM TOTALLY MAKING EXCUSES I JUST WANTED TO MAKE LUPIN A MERMAN.)

and so these crystals used whats left of lupins body and reassembled him back, and idk other essences of the ocean to make him a merman!

the memories of his past life have definitely been buried deep inside his brain to the point he can't remember any of it though, so he thinks that he was born under the ocean and has lived there for his entire life. other than that he retains almost everything about himself, down to stealing stupid shit and messing with humans just for the fucks of it. he's kinda seen as like a nessie.

---

anyways, y'know how i said goemon wasn't the first one to meet lupin? that's because lupin has met zenigata before!

living a life with only fishes around means lupin's kinda lonely and likes to stalk humans sometimes. the interaction with him and zenigata did not end well though, and lupin has no idea why zeni wants him dead so much.

after that he's way more cautious around people that look like zenigata- hatted big men with guns. its gonna be fun once he sees jigen.

ok what else... i think that's all i want to reveal now. will i do more of this? maybe. maybe not. kinda embarrassed of this because of how silly it is but i hope you people find this interesting! byebye

#lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin iii manga #goemon ishikawa xiii #peaterookie art #shin lupin iii #lupinweek2024 #lupin au #merman #merman lupin