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the-satellite · 3 years

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Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!!

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!

#cosmic entity's art #minecraft #mob talker mod #mc creeper #mc zombie #mc skeleton #mc spider #mc blaze #mc enderman #character design

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staircasttext · 3 years

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Ep 04 Transcript: Purr-fidy

Episode 4

[intro music]

PAZ: Hello everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we're back today to tackle some very action-filled chapters. And because the reading this week, we finally get to go to Moonstone and tangentially get some of that StarClan action, I thought we could all go to the official site where they let you ask the Moonpool a question. "Seek the wisdom of StarClan. Enter a question with a yes or no answer and let them guide your path." And I think we should give StarClan some questions.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: I wonder if they'll let you curse in this. Will warriorcats.com let you say fuck?

LIZ: Wait, wait.

JULIAN: There's a nice little shimmer when you click the Start.

LIZ: "This page is currently not supported on your platform."

JULIAN: Oh no.

LIZ: And I'm getting a little crying cat emoji.

JULIAN: What browser?

PAZ: I'm on Firefox too. It's working fine for me.

LIZ: You'll have to ask Moonpool questions for me.

PAZ: I'll ask you a question for you. Okay. I think the first pressing question is, are these cats gay? [typing] "StarClan lights your path with a yes."

LIZ: [gasps] Get a screencap. Oh my god.

JULIAN: Word of God.

PAZ: Word of God. You heard it here from StarClan. These cats are gay.

LIZ: You know it.

JULIAN: I have a question.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Will these cats be held accountable for their many crimes? "We have heard your call and answer in turn. StarClan sees a yes in your destiny."

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: All right, StarClan, get the tribunal together.

PAZ: Okay. These cats are going on trial for their war crimes. They're gay and they're going on trial. Liz, what's your question?

LIZ: Will warrior cats and kittypets ever reach an accord and maybe be friends?

PAZ: Okay, I'm asking. "The stars shine brightly in favor of yes."

JULIAN: Does this thing ever give you a no?

PAZ: I feel like StarClan might be a bit of a yes man.

JULIAN: I want to ask another question and see if we can get a no. Will it snow tomorrow? "The strength of Starclan is with you." It didn't tell me yes or no.

LIZ: Maybe it's like prophecy. You have to interpret it.

JULIAN: Oh, I see.

LIZ: Like do you need the strength because it'll snow.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think this may just never tell me no.

PAZ: Well, you know what? That means everything we say is right.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: Can you ask it like, does my cat know that I love it? Yes. No. Not me personally because I don't have one.

PAZ: Okay, does my cat know that I love them? If it tells me yes-- "StarClan guides your question with a yes." I was about to say, if it tells me no, that'd be real sad. Well, I'm happy that everything I said now has the support of StarClan. So that was a fruitful visit to the Moonpool. And I think we can go into the summaries now.

LIZ: All right.

PAZ: Okay. So this week we read chapter 15 through 18. Chapter 15 follows Bluestar, Tigerclaw, and Firepaw into the cave as they travel to the Moonstone. It was pitch black and they all have to follow Bluestar by scent who knows the way. Firepaw notices that Tigerclaw seems very scared as they travel inside. When they actually reach the Moonstone, Tigerclaw gets so scared he runs out of the cave. Bluestar then sleeps by the Moonstone while Firepaw watches. When Bluestar wakes up she seems very worried and insists that they return to the ThunderClan camp immediately.

In chapter 16, the cats begin the journey back to camp. The three apprentices have a brief conversation and Graypaw notes that Ravenpaw seems very on edge whenever Tigerclaw is around. On the way back, the group meets a loner named Barley, who lives near a Twoleg farm. Barley warns them to go back a different way because the dogs from earlier are now loose in the field.

And Bluestar takes his advice and the different way leads them to be attacked by a bunch of rats. Everyone gets really battered, but Barley comes in to help them. Tigerclaw says Barley sent them into a trap, and Barley was like, No I did not. Then everyone realizes Bluestar is gravely injured, possibly dead, but she soon revives. Bluestar says she lost a life. When they finally began to move again, Tigerclaw very nonchalantly asks how many lives Bluestar has lost and she says this is her fifth.

In chapter 17, which is a hefty chapter, the cats finally arrive back to the ThunderClan camp, only to see it under attack by ShadowClan warriors as Bluestar saw in her vision. There is a huge cat battle happening in the camp, and everyone joins in. There are some action scenes, and then Firepaw is the shadow plan deputy kill an elder who is guarding the kits. Firepaw is unable to get there to rescue them because he's fighting another cat. And by the time he rushes to the nursery, the ShadowClan deputy is gone.

Yellowfang, who is inside, reveals that she fought him off to protect the kits. The battle soon dies down, and one of the queens publicly declares that Yellowfang saved the kits. Then Bluestar delivers the news that Lionheart, the ThunderClan deputy is dead. Graypaw is devastated. Firepaw realizes that the whole situation is exactly like a dream he had before. There are some scenes of various cuts morning and being looked at after the battle.

Bluestar then announces she has to declare a new deputy before moonhigh, and uh-oh, it's Tigerclaw. Next to Firepaw, Ravenpaw reacts in dismay and lets it slip that Tigerclaw took care of Redtail because he wanted to be deputy.

JULIAN: Duh-duh-duh.

PAZ: Chapter 18 opens with Tigerclaw overhearing the conversation and menacing Ravenpaw. Firepaw quickly salvages the situation by saying Ravenpaw was wishing Tigerclaw was there to take care of Lionheart as well. Ravenpaw refuses to speak to anyone after this interaction. Firepaw then goes to sleep and is woken up when Bluestar calls another meeting.

Tigerclaw speaks at the meeting, declaring that he has decided Bluestar must be guarded at all times by his lackeys, Darkstripe and Longtail. He says that no cat is allowed to approach Bluestar otherwise. Bluestar then asks Yellowfang to officially join ThunderClan, which Yellowfang accepts. Tigerclaw then insinuates that there is a traitor in the camp who must have fed ShadowClan information, and looks at Ravenpaw. Both Firepaw and Graypaw are worried for their friend.

Firepaw goes check on Yellowfang first, and they have a brief conversation about how Yellowfang misses the old ShadowClan, before Brokenstar became leader. She then tells him to roll around in garlic to help heal his rat bites. Firepaw tries to leave camp to get to the garlic patch, but Darkstripe refuses to let him out. So he sneaks out instead.

And on the way to the garlic, he overhears a conversation between Tigerclaw, Darkstripe, and Longtail. Tigerclaw lies to the two cats and says Ravenpaw left the group and must have gone to ShadowClan during the journey. He implies they need to kill Ravenpaw. The chapter ends with Firepaw racing back to camp in the hopes of convincing Bluestar of Tigerclaw's danger and Ravenpaw's innocence. And that ends that set of chapters.

JULIAN: Lot of intrigue.

PAZ: Yeah. We're getting to that murder plot mystery. Who could have seen this coming?

LIZ: Yeah, you know that Tigerclaw is so subtle. I never would have expected it.

PAZ: I'm shocked. I put down the book. I was so shocked. I also put down the book because that was the end of our reading.

JULIAN: I was trying to remember like, what my reaction was to this when I first read it as, you know, a fourth grader or whatever, but I could not remember. I think that I saw it coming. But I was still like upset.

PAZ: Yeah, because I read A New Prophecy first, I knew that Tigerclaw was evil like, because I mean, it's all in the past at that point. So I certainly was not surprised when I read the first book and the first book only.

LIZ: Well, I have never read these before. And you can definitely see it coming. And I think that's like good. Because it's like, yeah, this is your first big series as a kid. Author is laying down clues to lead to like a conclusion that makes sense, which is that Fire-- sorry, not Firepaw. Tigerclaw is a shady little bitch.

PAZ: Yeah, and I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with a mystery being obvious or predictable, especially not in kids media. Like, that whole shit with like Game of Thrones, where they changed the ending or whatever because someone predicted what would happen, and they were like... and it's like, that's just good storytelling if people can predict what's happening based on clues you've put in the text.

JULIAN: Congratulations, you've successfully deployed foreshadowing.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: I was into like Tigerclaw being like afraid of StarClan in the Moonstone. I thought that was neat. Some sort of like, yeah, he's shady. Also. The ancestors fucking hate him.

PAZ: Yeah. That was very funny and very like, evil cats go to hell. Good cats go to heaven. You can't enter our good vibes cave, you little piece of shit.

LIZ: Yeah, um, I would like to draw some comparisons between two great pieces of literature: the first Warrior Cats book and Hamlet.

PAZ: They're on the same level, I think.

LIZ: I mean, listen, there's the dude who commits a terrible secret murder and is shown to be super shady, and then he shows fear at the first mention of any sort of, like, mystic or religious kind of influence. Like, oh, I've sinned against StarClan. The parallels between Tigerclaw going into the cave and what's his name's, Hamlet's dad.

PAZ: Hamlet's dad?

JULIAN: Claudius?

LIZ: Hamlet's stepdad.

JULIAN: His uncle?

LIZ: Hamlet's uncle. I read Hamlet many times.

PAZ: C-something.

LIZ: Yeah. Claudius being like, praying because he did a bad murder and knows he's going to hell. It's the same thing. It's the same.

PAZ: It's the same.

LIZ: Can't believe Shakespeare totally just like cribbed the style from Warrior Cats.

PAZ: And Graypaw is Horatio. It's all there.

LIZ: He is Horatio, right down to the people shipping him with Firepaw.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly. Um, I mean, I guess I can kind of go in chronological order now that we've gone back to Moonstone cave.

JULIAN: I have an important question about Barley. But if we're still-- if we have more on the Moonstone.

PAZ: I guess the one other thing was like Alix's question from last week about Bluestar like planning this was on my mind, when she like, decides to take Firepaw into the cave. I wonder if she was like, hey, Starclan is this who you mean? If she was hoping to get some answers there?

JULIAN: Yeah, he did have like a prophetic dream. So that was cool.

PAZ: Yeah. But yeah, that's the only other thing I had to say about the cave chapter.

JULIAN: My Barley question was just um, does he got balls? What's his soul doing?

PAZ: That's a great question. I wonder if my Cats of the Clan book will give me insight. I don't have it on hand. Um.

JULIAN: Let me pull up the trusty wiki.

PAZ: I feel like barn cats in real life aren't often like neutered or spayed.

LIZ: I guess only if like people do a lot of catch and release, right? Like they do that.

PAZ: Yeah, which obviously they're not doing in the Warriors universe, or all these cats would be fucking snip snip.

JULIAN: [muffled shriek]

LIZ: That would be so terrifying as a warrior cat.

PAZ: I think warrior cats--

JULIAN: I found some very tasty information about Barley on the the wiki.

PAZ: I like Barley.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: So I couldn't find a way to see if maybe he had had any kits to see if that would tell us his ball status. No kits, um, is gay.

PAZ: What?

LIZ: Wait, what?

JULIAN: He's gay.

PAZ: Wow. Barley, gay king.

JULIAN: His partner is kind of a spoiler, I guess.

PAZ: Oh, I think I remember. I think I remember that.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Wow, good for him.

PAZ: I didn't know they were officially partners.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, officially listed as a partner.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yes.

JULIAN: Barley's a gay.

PAZ: StarClan was right.

JULIAN: Gay ally and a gay.

LIZ: And Tigerclaw is homophobic. Of course.

JULIAN: You know what?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: This whole story is about homophobia.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's like, that little fruit told us to come this way. He's betrayed us.

LIZ: Barley is a type of wheat, or grain.

JULIAN: And that's why Tigerclaw hates--

PAZ: Ravenpaw.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: My god, it's all coming together.

LIZ: I knew it.

PAZ: I do remember liking Barley because I think he shows back up in A New Prophecy because they, you know, go places. And he's like, chilling. And I was like, that's a cool cat. And now I know it's because I sensed a fellow in him.

LIZ: I just like his name a lot. That's a good name to have for a cat.

PAZ: It's a great barn cat name.

JULIAN: Oh, great news. Vicki believes that Barley will not go to StarClan when he dies as he lacks the necessary faith. No word about his balls, though. So he might still have them.

LIZ: He's an atheist.

PAZ: Does he go to that--

JULIAN: Kate however, believe that he'll live just on the outskirts of StarClan.

LIZ: Oh, there's some contention.

PAZ: What was that-- I was on the wiki looking at where like cats who don't go to StarClan and don't go to the Place of No Stars go. It was called like the something residence. Let me see if I pasted it.

LIZ: Just another neighborhood? Because that's what it sounds like. Yeah, it's like StarClan is like Los Angeles and the whatever residence is just the outer LA County.

PAZ: It's the ghost residence.

LIZ: Yeah, that's where I live.

JULIAN: Incredible.

PAZ: "The unnamed residence serves as a place for ghost cats, acting as a purgatory of sorts."

LIZ: That's still where I live.

PAZ: The ghost-- no, okay there's another residence. Unnamed residence. "This is a list of cats that currently reside or have resided in an unnamed residence. Cats in this category our cats that have died and been seen as spirits but do not reside in StarClan, The Place of No Stars, the Tribe of Endless Hunting, or as ghost cats."

JULIAN: I love that there are ghost cats.

PAZ: Me too. What?

LIZ: What?

PAZ: There's another gay cat in this place.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: The gay cat that Liz doesn't know about yet. Unnamed residence is the gay commune of Warriors.

LIZ: You know what, good for them.

JULIAN: Stray cats go to heaven. Gay cats go to unnamed ghost residence.

PAZ: The homophobic cats do go to hell.

LIZ: Confirmed.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, well, yeah, I love Barley. Um, it does lead to an extremely funny scene of rats attacking these cats and like, absolutely wrecking them. Like, they killed Bluestar. I was like, what the hell are these rats?

JULIAN: Maybe the rat situation is like, you know, these are like concerted rats. These are like, a lot of rats working in concert for a shared goal, which is to beat the fuck out of the cats.

PAZ: Oh my god, okay.

JULIAN: Like rats will like kill a baby.

PAZ: Will they? What?

LIZ: Probably.

JULIAN: I'm actually basing this off of the plot of the dog movie? Lady and the Tramp, which may not be accurate, now that I think about it.

PAZ: I think maybe that might be inaccurate. Um.

LIZ: Well, I've got a very reliable source and it is Dishonored. And rats will totally eat a cat and a baby. Like all the way to the bones right in front of you. Definitely.

PAZ: "Cats or rats? Rats win in New York hands down." I'm clicking. I want to learn.

JULIAN: This is an educational podcast.

PAZ: This is like Goku vs. Darth Vader. Who will win?

LIZ: Why do we have to pit two queens against each other?

JULIAN: Yeah, this study says that cats are not good predators of rats. The rats actively avoid the cats and the cats only recorded two rat kills in 79 days. That's not a good record.

PAZ: Damn. These cats really need to step it up. Well I guess-- this doesn't say anything about the rats killing the cats. But it does say that cats suck at fighting rats, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess that's why we have like terriers for rats.

PAZ: Yeah. This article says that people see fewer rats and assume it's behavior-- it's because the cats have killed them, whereas it's actually due to the rats changing their behavior so the rats will just like leave.

JULIAN: I mean, that's not-- that's like, fine.

PAZ: Yeah, it achieves the same result.

JULIAN: I don't mind if the rats live in the sewers. They're allowed. I don't go down there.

LIZ: This is their city.

PAZ: It is their city. Well, I still think it's very funny that all these rats fuck them up.

JULIAN: It is. it's very good. Bluestar loses a life.

PAZ: She loses a life to these rats.

LIZ: Yeah, just like in Dishonored.

PAZ: Should have just gone on with dogs.

JULIAN: God. I also like, if I were Bluestar, I would not have told Tigerclaw my life count.

PAZ: No. Once again, she's--

JULIAN: I realize that she's very trusting but like, you can't tell him you only have four left. He's counting.

PAZ: That was so suspicious.

LIZ: He's just gonna bring some more rats.

PAZ: Like who is like, hey, like, how like-- what are your weaknesses? Can you tell me them? Can you make a list of them? Not for suspicious reasons. Thanks.

JULIAN: Yeah, deeply sus.

PAZ: Yes. I do also gotta shout out Barley for saving them and being the only one who knows how to kill rats apparently. He jumps in and fucking owns these rats.

LIZ: Yeah, he has--

JULIAN: He does a great job.

LIZ: --the rat eating term?

PAZ: In Dishonored? Yeah.

LIZ: He gets HP from it. Crunch.

PAZ: Oh, I looked down at my notes. I did indeed write "died to rats, dot dot dot... just like Dishonored."

LIZ: It's like in the same brain here. Okay, hold on, speaking of Barley, I googled him and there's on his Facebook page or something, there's just a picture of a regular black and white cat.

PAZ: Oh my gosh. That's his face cast.

LIZ: I love it.

JULIAN: That's him.

LIZ: Perfect part nose.

JULIAN: Are Barley and Chloe related?

PAZ: We have no choice but to stan Barley.

JULIAN: And they have this like horrible, brutal rat fight. And then they go straight to like, fucking horrible, brutal ShadowClan fight.

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: It's just, it's out of the frying pan that's full of rats into the fire full of cats.

PAZ: That's what they always say.

JULIAN: That's how the saying goes.

PAZ: Yeah, shout out to the action sequences. They are fun. But--

JULIAN: They are fun. They're good to read.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, so the next next bit is the fight at ThunderClan cat camp. And it's kind of a bloodbath, huh.

JULIAN: Is it time to talk about war crimes?

PAZ: War crimes and murder. Uh-huh.

JULIAN: Yeah. Like, they go after the kits.

PAZ: Yeah. Julian, I did think about you saying, like, are they stealing the kits, which I still don't remember, cause it was described as Blackfoot, the ShadowClan deputy was like picking them up. I was like, oh, is he gonna whisk them away? But I don't know. We never find out.

We never find out.

LIZ: Also, that's an unfortunate name for a cat to have.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah, that is-- that already belongs to something. And you should not be using it.

JULIAN: Yeah...

PAZ: British authors not doing their research, I guess. Or...

LIZ: Yeah. Hey, there's eight of you. I know you're all very old, but come on.

JULIAN: Also, I feel like you know, Harper Collins is... I'm sure they have a UK imprint. But like there are also editors in the US. Surely someone should have, uh.

LIZ: Someone out there must know what Google is.

PAZ: Yeah. Hopefully that character dies soon. We don't have to see the name anymore.

LIZ: They use that name so much in this chapter.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: But yeah, back to the kittens, right?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: A cat does just die also. He kills one of the old cats, cold blood.

JULIAN: Yeah, I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for war crimes.

LIZ: Like in general?

PAZ: Yeah? Do you have a list? Do you have a list of what constitutes a war crime?

JULIAN: Well, so there's a lot of them. But intentionally killing civilians or prisoners is definitely one of them. So I think killing an elder kind of counts.

PAZ: Check that off.

JULIAN: Yep. Destroying civilian property. They did destroy the camp. So that's one. They did not take any hostages. So that doesn't count. I don't know what performing a perfidy is.

PAZ: Me neither.

JULIAN: Oh, it's when you like, lie about... Basically, you're like, oh, I'll make a peace treaty and then you don't.

LIZ: So is that spelled--

PAZ: Mm, I don't think they did that.

JULIAN: P-e-r-f-i-d-y. Perfidy.

LIZ: Not p-u-r-r-f-i-d-y?

JULIAN: [cackles] Damn. We don't see any child soldiers onscreen. At least I don't think so.

PAZ: Are the apprentices child soldiers, though?

JULIAN: Are the apprentices here?

PAZ: They're not...

JULIAN: How old are they?

PAZ: The book says apprentices are more than six moons old.

JULIAN: I mean, you're basically an adult cat.

PAZ: So most of them are probably under a year. Yeah, I guess they're like adolescent, I don't know. Yeah.

LIZ: Teen?

JULIAN: Like, it's not great, but.

PAZ: Yeah, they get away. They get away with that. Not a war crime.

JULIAN: Pillaging? Oh, looting. Um, I mean, they don't take anything. So I don't think they pillage.

LIZ: No. There's not really anything to take this except like food and maybe medicine. There's not a lot of like, property.

PAZ: Yeah, unless they take those kits.

LIZ: Well, that's a person.

JULIAN: Well, that would be-- that would be taking a hostage.

PAZ: Okay, yeah.

JULIAN: Declaring that no quarter will be given, which they did at the gathering. So that was sort of a pre-war war crime.

PAZ: Really talented.

JULIAN: And then it just says "seriously violating the principles of distinction, proportionality, and military necessity." And I don't know what the fuck that means, but I think we can check it off.

PAZ: Yeah, I think they do that.

LIZ: It's quite a count already.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're not doing great.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah, this book also absolutely does not shy away from like death.

LIZ: Nuh-uh.

PAZ: Like on screen death too.

JULIAN: Onscreen death. Like very brutal onscreen death of like the elderly.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Right off the jump.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like, very soon after the chapter starts.

LIZ: Yeah, and the part where that one cat is trying to get at the the kits. That's very distressing. Like there is--

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Like, whether it's for a hostage or just, you know, straight up child murder. There is definitely like the threat implied in a very effective way.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, like, good job to the book for making like, a distressing battle scene. Like, because it did. It did. It was like, intense.

JULIAN: Yeah, yeah, I was watching a lot of Warrior Cats AMVs this afternoon. And a lot of the many great animators in the Warriors AMV community have really picked up on the style of the books, which is very bloody.

PAZ: Great, because that's important, essential aspect of the book. It's in the name.

JULIAN: Yep.

LIZ: Yeah, these are not peacetime cats.

JULIAN: No. These are... I am really glad that Yellowfang got to save the kits and redeem herself.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Good for her.

PAZ: She's so cool.

LIZ: She's the best.

JULIAN: She's so cool.

PAZ: Old, like badass lady. And then Bluestar is like, you're so cool, Yellowfang, haha, will you join my clan?

LIZ: What if we were both old lady cats and I asked you to join my clan? Haha, just kidding, unless.

PAZ: You should make an edit for that. Post to Twitter. I'm sad we don't get to see her fight on screen.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I would have liked that.

LIZ: It's a good moment to have it. We're almost at the end of-- we're like at the last quarter of the book?

PAZ: We're very-- more than a quarter.

LIZ: I don't know, I switch between like--

PAZ: I think we're about like 70% done, 75% done.

JULIAN: Let me see. We're 69.3% done.

PAZ: Oh nice, nice.

LIZ: Nice, nice.

PAZ: I did write down, "all these cats are dying. Just go live inside, idiots." Which, I'm like reading these horrible battle scenes. And I'm like, if you were just kittypets, you wouldn't have to deal with any of this shit. No rats. No cat murder.

JULIAN: It's true. No one is gonna tear your throat out if you just live here.

LIZ: Just Temptations and cushions.

JULIAN: If you live in my house on the heated bed I bought.

PAZ: I was absolutely right about the Lionheart death flag.

LIZ: Uh-huh.

PAZ: Fucking typed it. I was like, wow, I called it.

LIZ: What was it that Graypaw said before they left, like I will always remember what you taught me.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like, exactly. I was like, this is a little...

JULIAN: Like, oh, good job, Graypaw. You doomed him.

LIZ: Just start--

PAZ: I wonder-- Oh, go ahead.

LIZ: No, just start saying shit like that every time you say bye to anyone. Like I will always [dissolving into laughter] remember you.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: You just never thank your mentor. That way he'll never die.

PAZ: Yeah, I do wonder if Tigerclaw-- I assume Tigerclaw murdered him as well. Or rather than it being a happy accident, but I don't know.

JULIAN: I also assume that. I don't think there's any way that, given Tigerclaw's significant looks at Ravenpaw, that Lionhart died of ShadowClan-related causes.

PAZ: Well, I assume that significant looks are just still like Redtail-related like, don't give out my secret, but it would really suck for Tavenpaw if he had to watch this, like, shitty guy kill another person.

JULIAN: He has so many traumas.

PAZ: Poor Ravenpaw.

LIZ: Ravenpaw's just Hamlet but like without any... He's not angry. He's just sad.

JULIAN: Well, he's like, he's Hamlet. But he also like he doesn't have any of the doubt.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: He just saw it happen.

PAZ: You know that video of the guy yelling at the cat in the store, like I'm gonna get you out of there? That's me with Ravenpaw.

LIZ: Ravenpaw, come into my house. [everyone laughing]

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Get a Temptations every other day. I think that's-- I don't know what's healthy to give cats. Like what's the rate of Temptations?

PAZ: Probably not too many.

JULIAN: I feel like you can get them like a treat a day.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: One treat.

LIZ: You'll get a Temptations every day.

JULIAN: I don't know, though, cause last time we went to the vet, the vet said we had to feed Chickpea less, so my calibration may be off.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's really setting Ravenpaw up to take the fall.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: And I don't know why anyone would believe him because that's like a young adult. That's like a-- that's like if you were pointing at like a high school senior and being like, they committed these war crimes, not me.

LIZ: They killed the vice president and the other vice president.

PAZ: And now that I'm vice president, that means nothing. It was this teenager.

JULIAN: Well, it's also a teen that he's responsible for. Like if your apprentice grows up and becomes like a conniving little shit, isn't that partly your fault? Like, if you're so mean to your apprentice that he runs into the welcoming arms of ShadowClan, which he didn't, but like if he had.

PAZ: Yeah, I wouldn't blame him.

JULIAN: You know, I think I think it's a little bit on you.

PAZ: Yeah. Where is the accountability in like this mentorship program?

LIZ: He's not even--

JULIAN: The unpaid internship.

LIZ: Ravenpaw's not even that conn-- he's just like, terrified so he doesn't talk to anybody.

JULIAN: Yeah. But like, Tigerclaw is making him out to be this like, big sneaky, you know,basically being like, all these things that I did, this person that I am, that's Ravenpaw.

PAZ: The fact that he already has like lackeys, is like so much. Tigerclaw does. But it seems like he's like lying to them versus them knowing he's trying to do a weird takeover.

JULIAN: Yeah, I mean, I think Longtail at least, it was like, easily persuaded to to believe in like, this secret outside conspiracy because he was the one who attacked Firepaw at the beginning.

PAZ: Yeah. Didn't we read the other day that Longtail is Ravenpaw's like, sibling?

JULIAN: Oh, you're right.

LIZ: That sucks.

JULIAN: I think he's his half-sibling. That sucks.

LIZ: Aww, Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Man.

LIZ: He's getting like a really raw deal.

PAZ: He really is. If the book was from his perspective, it would be so sad.

LIZ: My sibling hates me enough to conspire against me. Or at least believe that I'm a terrible murderer.

JULIAN: Poor little guy.

LIZ: My mentor hates my guts and also is trying to frame me for murder.

PAZ: Yeah, and it takes Firepaw so long to figure out what's happening.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: It has to be explicitly spelled out for him.

PAZ: Yeah, literally.

JULIAN: Like, he doesn't figure shit out.

PAZ: Yeah, Ravenpaw just says something and then he overhears it.

LIZ: Firepaw is so very dumb.

PAZ: It's so funny too, because Yellowfang has like a section where she's praising him for being clever. And I'm like, Yellowfang, he's so stupid. There's nothing going on upstairs.

LIZ: It's air. It's just fluff.

JULIAN: Is Firepaw a himbo? The greatest thread.

LIZ: Since we're talking about Ravenpaw too, the part where later on Bluestar asks him to go train with her alone, where no one's gonna bother them. And he's like, I should tell her about Ravenpaw and Tigerclaw. And he's like I should tell her. I should tell her, and he just forgets.

JULIAN: He was too overwhelmed by her girl boss, uh. Her girlboss nature.

LIZ: It's very overwhelming, true.

JULIAN: I do think like Tigerclaw appointing bodyguards to-- "bodyguards," quote unquote, to like, prevent anyone from ratting on him, was a very savvy move, even though it's like patently evil. It was smart.

PAZ: He's a decent conniving villain for a kids' book in which the protagonist is very stupid and doesn't realize what's going on.

LIZ: And just forgets key points.

PAZ: He has a little cat brain. How's he supposed to remember all that?

LIZ: His friend's gonna die! Okay, but yeah, the guard thing is like very smart. Feels really ominous too because like there's an extra layer of removal of Bluestar from like everyone else.

PAZ: Yeah, he's like already like, taking over like public power by, like putting her behind a wall, essentially.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Security theater baby.

PAZ: Yeah, there's also like another like thread of-- I mean, like the continuing thread of intrigue with like what happened with Yellowfang and ShadowClan because she kind of drops more like, oh, everything was fine till Brokenstar was leader. So that's also a mystery we have going on.

LIZ: Um, yeah, there's a cute section when she's talking about like what ShadowClan used to be like. And I think she and Firepaw are like joking about like, who replaced her as the medicine cat, and she's like, oh, not Runningnose.

PAZ: Yeah, like, he can't even cure his own cold. It's cute.

LIZ: Hey, maybe it's allergies. Don't be mean. Cats get allergies.

PAZ: Cats also get chronic infections.

LIZ: That's what Oliver has, right?

JULIAN: Especially if they live in the outdoors and won't visit the vet.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Like, wow, a whole bunch of nonvaccinated, fighting cats on the brink of starvation all the time feel sick. No shit.

JULIAN: It's okay though. They have berries.

PAZ: Why are they doing that? Go inside.

JULIAN: I do have a-- when Darkstripe tells Firepaw that he can't go roll in the garlic, which is just really funny as a premise. But also, Firepaw like mutters under his breath, "Dirtstripe," which is such a teen thing to do.

PAZ: Got them.

LIZ: Owned, wow.

JULIAN: It's such like a shitty little teen move. It's really fun.

PAZ: It's very funny.

LIZ: You're not my real dad, Darkstripe. I will roll in the garlic if I want to. God.

PAZ: Do we think rolling in garlic has any medical backing, or?

LIZ: Smelly.

PAZ: Cause it's very funny.

LIZ: Smelly cat.

JULIAN: So garlic is-- like I don't know about the greens of it, but like garlic bulbs are antibacterial, like slightly.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

JULIAN: Which is why, like if you have a throat infection, sometimes like doing like a garlic rinse can be sort of helpful.

PAZ: Good to know.

JULIAN: Not a doctor, not a doctor. But yeah, I think that's where they're getting that.

LIZ: Just like the picture of like this. Like Firepaw at this point is like, not an adult but like the kind of teen cat that's all like gangly, I bet.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: And just picturing that like having a fun time in some garlic is so good to me.

PAZ: I do love it. [inaudible] a good picture of these little cats doing stuff.

LIZ: He's a garlic boy.

JULIAN: And then he overhears a conspiracy.

PAZ: Yeah, very very classic of the villains to just openly talk about their evil moves.

JULIAN: Well, they said no one could leave so I'm sure it'll be fine.

PAZ: Yeah. I mean, I don't-- I think, I mean that covers everything.

JULIAN: I have just, uh, "that'll go well" about him going to talk to Bluestar.

PAZ: Yeah, Firepaw, I think you might also get blamed.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: Yeah, all is not well in the kingdom of ThunderClan.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: I'm still just a little like, aghast that he does, he just forgets. I know she's the most amazing girl boss you've ever seen. But oh my god.

PAZ: It's fine. He's--

JULIAN: He's just a stupid little boy.

LIZ: I know. He's orange too. He's a little orange cat, you know.

PAZ: Yeah, he's gonna go work on it now. It'll be fine.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Bless him.

PAZ: Should we move on?

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Maybe get some levity after the war crimes chapter.

LIZ: So we've returned to wikiHow, a wonderful font of knowledge and activity. And this article is called "How to host a Warrior Cats themed birthday party." Who's birthday is coming up in June so, a little...

PAZ: Mine's in August.

JULIAN: Mine's in July. Lotta summer babies here.

LIZ: Well, we got time to prep then.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. I want to note that this was last updated June 20, 2020. There are 26 co-authors.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: And 42,000 views. So you know this is a good, good peer-reviewed article.

LIZ: Yeah, let me give you the blurb that will entice everyone in. "Do you sleep, dream, smell, and eat Warriors? Do you want to have a party sleepover for your birthday based on the books? Well, this guide to a snappy party is a great idea." It's also available to download as a PDF just so you know, in case you need it.

JULIAN: Oh good, so you can print it out.

PAZ: Yeah, and check it off.

LIZ: And you know, in the wikiHow to set up their beautiful, beautiful illustrations that-- I don't know, is it legal for us to post wikiHow images?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're public domain.

PAZ: I mean, they're all traced, so really, how can they get on our case?

JULIAN: I'm really pretty sure they're Creative Commons. I think we're good.

LIZ: Yeah. Okay, so let's plan. "One, make sure your parents agree." So, let's go check.

[laughter]

PAZ: Uh....

JULIAN: Wait, I need to call my dad. Why does-- I just want to describe to our listeners, um, the parent in this image has the largest nose I have ever seen.

PAZ: You could land the plane on that.

JULIAN: It's like, you know the phrase, a ski jump nose. This is a ski jump.

LIZ: Because we're seeing the back of his head so it's the perspective, that's all. This is a front nose on--

JULIAN: It looks like a Hershey's Kiss is stuck on his face.

LIZ: This young man asking his parent for permission looks very smug, too, so I think he got a yes on that. "Step two, start planning early."

JULIAN: Oh, we're doing step two.

PAZ: Well, we are, because we're all summer birthdays.

LIZ: There's a picture of a person looking very determined, with a little three mouth. And that's because this is about cats. "Invite a couple of people to the party. See if they like the idea of having a Warrior Cats theme." Okay, well, I don't know whose birthday we're actually celebrating, so we're all invited in a circle.

JULIAN: There we go.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: You guys okay with the theme?

PAZ: I love it.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Wonderful, wonderful. Okay, we're getting to the meaty part of things. "Part two: decorations." Now to just give you a word picture of what's going on, there's a sort of cushion bench chair thing, covered in sticks and leaves. The floor is also covered in leaves. The wallpaper has grass on it. There are paw prints on the wallpaper and the floor. There is a separate panel of just a spider web, with a spider in it. And there's another panel of some-- seaweed?

PAZ: It's vines.

LIZ: Vines.

JULIAN: The green silk or fabric.

LIZ: Does anyone else want to have a have a stab at reading this? It's very good.

JULIAN: Sure. "First, decorate. Before your guests arrive, decorate your houses with posters, paw prints, and anything else that will complement the theme. If you have any party games, make sure you have anything you need for those games. Instead of decorating the whole room, make a fort and say it's the den, and fill the blanket draped chairs with the items suggested. To make it even more forest like, you could use camouflage blankets and cover them with sticks and leaves, if strong enough."

I'm not sure if that's the sticks, or the blanket. "Take out spider webs from Halloween and decorate a few corners with the spider webs. Cover doorways with green silk or fabric, and cut some of the fabric into slivers, making a vine-themed door entranceway."

LIZ: Finally a use for my green silk.

JULIAN: I'm just, if I were an adult and my kid is like, I want to have a Warriors-themed birthday party, I'd be like, Oh, sweet. That sounds fun. And then they brought a bunch of sticks and leaves into my house, I would not be thrilled.

PAZ: Yeah, it doesn't specify like fake sticks and leaves. I think it just means you're, like, go out into your garden.

LIZ: That's authentic to the books. You have to.

JULIAN: It is.

LIZ: This also sounds like something a kid would absolutely do.

PAZ: Absolutely.

JULIAN: Oh, step two. "Make each room a den." They have suggestions for each of the rooms. How many rooms do they think your house has, cause this is a lot. They have a kit's room with pillows and stuffed animals, and spiderwebs scrunched into soft play balls, which apparently is a thing that kits play with.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: A warriors den, a leaders den for the largest, least occupied room. An apprentice den, "which can be made just like the warriors den, but larger, and less comfortable." [laughter]

"Make the medicine cat's den. Outside, in the kitchen, or by a window would be the best place, because there are plants you can use to heal. For the comfort of the person who volunteers to be the medicine cat, place down multiple blankets on top of one another, to get that carpet effect, just like inside. Use a brown or blue tarp to make a ceiling, and add cozy green spiderweb beds, and the best pillows you got. Offer spoons, forks, sticks, and ground-like bowls to be able to make the treatments. To ensure your medicine cat is comfy and not lonely, ask a friend to be the apprentice of the medicine cat." Yeah, it would suck to be the medicine cat.

PAZ: So is everyone separating into their room and not interacting? Is this how the birthday party goes?

JULIAN: They have instructions for making the High Rock, and a fresh kill pile. Um.

LIZ: We should--

JULIAN: And then we get to games.

LIZ: We should describe the fresh kill pile.

PAZ: It's very good.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.

LIZ: It is a cardboard tree stump drawn pretty well and also shaded, and some green pillows surrounding it, and a bunch of stuffed animals. There is a panda, a teddy bear, a lion, some sort of pink horse thing, and a monkey. You know, regular parts of a cat diet.

PAZ: And the final step in the decoration part is, "decorate the forest, or, quote, 'forest'. Your outside or quote, 'forest' can be a room decorated with cardboard cutouts of trees, spiderwebs, and badger holes. Under furniture you can place a skunk, or borrowed stuffed animal, green moss, or a fake river." I think you should just use the actual forest.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: What if we don't have a forest? What if you live in, say, just shot in the dark here, LA County, where--

PAZ: Don't.

LIZ: Okay.

PAZ: Problem solved.

LIZ: Everyone's telling me that lately.

JULIAN: Just move.

LIZ: [claps] All right, part three.

JULIAN: Part three is games, which is really important.

LIZ: One for the gamers here.

PAZ: Okay, "step one, welcome each guest, maybe with a dip of your head or a whisper of 'Welcome to the home of the clans.'"

JULIAN: The next picture. [dissolving into shriek-laughter]

PAZ: The art for this is extremely good as well. So we have-- it's featuring that beautiful green silk vine curtain from before. And in front of it is a girl, in like-- doing that like butler pose, where it's like, come in, sir. Except she's wearing a black t-shirt, and nothing else except a black bow tie and a cat ears headband with cat face paint.

LIZ: She also has these um, these side bangs that are very like 2010-specific. Maybe earlier.

JULIAN: I was specifically losing my shit over the next picture, for "start with some roleplay."

LIZ: This is our new header image.

JULIAN: Which features some incredibly drawn visitors who have attended this party, all wearing all black, all wearing those same drawn on whiskers. There's some really interesting things happening with their faces. And the girl in the back is on all fours.

LIZ: She's doing it right.

JULIAN: She is, she's--

PAZ: Dedicated to her role.

JULIAN: "Once everyone has arrived, why not pretend to be warrior cats?"

Why not?

"Everyone could be one RP character-- roleplay-- and one real warrior. If you have the time, you could make name badges." So you have the time to spray paint spider webs green to make moss, but you couldn't make name badges? So everyone can remember who Pinestar is?

PAZ: You hit the deadline.

LIZ: Is that a soap? It sounds like soap.

PAZ: It really does. Moving on to step three of games, "have a hunting party. People can hide stuffed animals while others try to find a stuffed animal with a number they were assigned to written on a card around their neck."

JULIAN: I like the next one a lot.

PAZ: Yeah, we can just move on to four.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Sorry, the art for number three for having a hunting party is very good. It's a child with a cat hat, just really smirking.

LIZ: At a little giraffe stuffed animal.

JULIAN: But game number four, "have a twisted version of egg toss."

PAZ: Welcome to my twisted mind.

JULIAN: "Have everyone pair up and give each pair a spoon. Fill water balloons up with dyed water." Nothing to do with cats.

PAZ: That's so twisted.

LIZ: What's the catness?

PAZ: Uh, you know. Self-explanatory.

JULIAN: You know, cats.

PAZ: Number five, "come up with a collect a resource game. In this game, each den will be removed of its items and hidden among the forest. Teams assigned to each den must collect the items and amount wanted. Give them a checklist to cross off items safely brought back to the den. The first to bring back and arrange the interior like before everything was pooled will get prized with an extra piece of fresh kill and a new piece of bedding from leftover pieces not collected."

LIZ: The image for this is--

JULIAN: My favorite part of a birthday party, resource management.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Can we--

JULIAN: Sorry Liz, please describe the image.

LIZ: Yeah, it is a picture of four people. There is a just a camping tent and two of the black jumpsuited cat headband ear wearing people are sneaking into it, while two other people in just shorts and shirts, holding a giant caterpillar and different colored hats of of cat like description are walking away totally unaware. I think this is a war crime. This is looting, I think.

JULIAN: Oh, you're right, this is looting. This is pillaging.

LIZ: War crime. Number five, commit some war crimes.

PAZ: Yeah. Gotta be accurate. Number six, "play pin the tail on the warrior. Select a cat from one of the books and make a large cardboard cutout of this cat, and make its tail separately. Put a pin or tack on it to make it stick to the back of the cat." Now which cat do we want to do this to?

LIZ: Longtail. Obviously.

PAZ: Haha, No-tail. [laughter] Got 'em.

JULIAN: How long until Firestar-- sorry, Firepaw does that?

LIZ: In the heat of battle, haha, No-tail.

PAZ: Number seven, "do some more evening activities. Once you've eaten, maybe you could play some Warrior Cat games with your friends on the Internet. In the evening, have a mini battle– doesn't have to last long– and then a gathering, if your party is on a full moon. Lucky you. Otherwise, make an exception just for the party." Well, there are many Warrior Cats games to play with your friends on the internet. So great suggestion.

LIZ: Start a podcast. That's a game, basically.

JULIAN: There you go. That's a game. That's a game that keeps on giving.

PAZ: Number eight, "sleep over, if that's part of the plan. Not all birthday parties need to be sleepovers, but they can be lots of fun. In the morning, depending on the time you wake up, you could play some party games or read books and have breakfast." This does picture people sleeping outside in a tent. Should we move on to part four?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Food.

LIZ: Okay, so step one of food is "make dinner Warrior Cats themed too. When it's time for dinner, call it fresh kill instead, and ask everyone what they would like. Obviously don't really serve mice at the table. Think of something everyone would enjoy, maybe something fresh, like a pizza you can have delivered to your house." So, this is the--

PAZ: Same thing.

LIZ: The image is the previous fresh kill image from before, with all the stuffed animals, but, um, the children are sitting and having a great time with pizza, just chomping down. Makes me, you know, makes me think we should do this.

PAZ: They have more suggestions for food in step two.

LIZ: Okay, "provide lots of meaty foods. Food is fresh kill warriors, so you must get something close to meats, Think, think, think. Have meat skewers, steak, meatballs, pepperoni, salami, and hamburgers. Anything with tasty meat will do. If you have a vegetarian, then offer veggie patties, cheese, and anything that sticks to the theme."

PAZ: Wait, why does cheese stick to the theme?

JULIAN: How does cheese...

LIZ: Wait.

JULIAN: You know. Fresh killed cheese.

PAZ: I mean my cat right now is extremely into eating cheese, so I guess...

LIZ: Yeah, see, it's accurate. The image for this is just some food. There are kebabs. You know, like cats enjoy. Just like a whole steak, you know, like children should have. A very smooth sliced hot dog, and just a burger. Just a burger with the cheese on entirely different levels of the burger, which is new to me. Like there's multiple cheese. Okay.

JULIAN: My favorite image is--

LIZ: In three.

JULIAN: Step 3, the birthday cake.

LIZ: Yes. "Get a birthday cake. The best birthday cake can have something printed on it, such as the cover of your favorite book from the Warriors series, or a map of the territory. Some local businesses in your city may offer custom cakes. Even better as some may even be able to design a 3D landscape." That is not what's on this cake that they've shown us and--

PAZ: It's a beautiful cake. It's so good.

LIZ: It's so much better. Yeah, it's a round yellow cake with just a little-- like just a huge cat face on top of it, and a candle. It's very happy looking. And then there's like little black and white cat silhouettes like around it.

PAZ: I want this to be my cake.

LIZ: It could be.

PAZ: It's so good.

JULIAN: It's so good.

PAZ: The face on top is so good.

LIZ: Beautiful. What flavor do you think it is?

PAZ: Um, red velvet because it's red inside like fresh kill.

LIZ: Got it.

JULIAN: Oh, we don't have to go through the whole Q&A but the first one is I think very important. Um, "what do I have for food if I have a vegan friend?" And the answer is, "provide berries and greens for them to eat. Warrior cats use them for medicinal purposes, but you can pretend they are an elder or a sick cat."

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: If you're vegan, you're old or sick. "You can also just ask your vegan friend what they like to eat and provide that." Yeah, I would go with that one, animebread.

LIZ: That's exactly the answer you'd--

JULIAN: wikiHow user anime bread.

PAZ: Here's another question, "how do I not be embarrassed about my Warrior Cat party?"

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: "It's a decision you make just not to care what others think. Of course, if you're selective about who you invite, you'll be less embarrassed. Invite friends who will enjoy this kind of party." If your friends have a problem with your Warrior Cat party, then they're fake. They're fake friends.

LIZ: Okay, these questions are really good. I have one more. "What if my friends make up unreal Warrior Cat names such as Fluffyhead?" This is a community answer. "Just tell them that it makes no sense, or provide everyone with a name badge at the start of the party using names you've chosen. Of course it's important that everyone have a good time, so it's fine to loosen the rules a little bit for your friends."

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: Isn't there a canonical cat Fuzzy-- like Fuzzypelt?

LIZ: Yeah, that's--

JULIAN: There is, yeah.

PAZ: I would say Fluffyhead is accurate.

LIZ: Yeah, he's like Ravenpaw's dad. That's like an immediate connection.

PAZ: I think Fluffyhead is a perfect name, and if you come to my Warrior Cat party, you can have that name.

LIZ: Oh, there's some tips and warnings.

JULIAN: Oh good.

LIZ: The best one from tips to me is "ask older siblings to be rouges." Not rogues, rouges, "who hate the Clans. Maybe they could get their friends to help making a rouge group."

JULIAN: You know what I love about a birthday party, built in bullying.

LIZ: For your older siblings specifically.

JULIAN: The warning about, "make sure everyone is comfortable with the battles, or anything else you may be doing," and then "make sure nobody gets hurt."

LIZ: Very important.

PAZ: That's good advice all around.

LIZ: Yeah, So we've got three months till any birthdays happen. Better get planning. I wanna see those cardboard cutouts.

JULIAN: We got time to plan.

LIZ: Just ready.

PAZ: I'm going to give this five stars.

JULIAN: Do we each have to provide our own?

LIZ: Communal effort, you know. They have the fresh kill pile, we have the freshly made and painted cardboard scenery pile. This made me want pizza. That one person in the corner on the right, eating that pizza at the Warrior Cats party is just having the best time I think.

PAZ: Yeah, I could go for some pizza too.

JULIAN: Well, is that it for us?

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, we covered the war crimes and we covered the party, and I think that's all. So, thanks everyone for joining us again this week. May StarClan light your path. [outro music begins] Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music ends]

PAZ: I'm gonna post some little Barley art. Very handsome.

LIZ: Love to see some Barley. Oh, he's a little cow.

PAZ: Black and white cat.

JULIAN: Aw, he's just a little guy.

PAZ: He is a little cow.

LIZ: I love that. Is this official?

PAZ: Uh, no, this is Warrior-- he has official art but it's the weird manga art style that I--

LIZ: He deserves better than that.

PAZ: His pants.

LIZ: Oh my god, pants.

PAZ: Anyway, back to the rats.

JULIAN: Um, yeah, the rats, I guess it's like a sort of...

LIZ: Wait, I'm listening and I can't. It's gone. Sorry, Julian, Julian.

#into the wild ep #transcript #ep 04 #purr-fidy

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wcamino-confessions · 4 years

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hi I’ve been waiting for species to come up in here, and now that it has, hold on to your asses boys we’re going for a ride

it’s another long one, sorry, but I’m very passionate about the species debate and whether or not you agree with me, you can’t say I’m wrong with some of these points

firstly, species are various ‘hybrids’ or evolutionized/mutated subversions of cats that are commonly found around amino. sometimes they’re simply cats with odd traits that serve no real purpose and were mainly created for aesthetic. some more popular species include delicats, mermyxns, and slimetails. each species has traits that are specific to their genes, although MOST (not all) have the same base traits (horns, wings, steam, fish tails, spikes, random inanimate objects as tails, socks, bandaids, unnatural whiskers, antennae, glass body parts, liquidated body parts, etc).

species really got big upon the first notable creation of warriors species called slimetails back in late 2018/early 2019. the cats featured various colored, themed, textured and substanced tails made from slime after radioactivity consumed the clans homes and resulted in the genetic mutation. they grew very popular very quickly as they were, and are, an open original species. from there, species quickly took off with the members of WA, and with no regulations about who could make them and how you went about doing so, they were quickly overwhelming. well, maybe overwhelming isn’t the right term. the community absolutely ate up the prospect of unnatural, oftentimes irrelevant, cats with pretty features and levels of trait rarity. they’re still a very popular aspect of WA today.

and in today’s standards, they are oftentimes associated with a users level of “popularity.” although this is definitely not the case with all species owners and affiliates, no one can deny that the only reason some members are popular is because of their status as creators, GA’s, or fervent members of that species communities. now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does tend to rile small bouts of drama in some cases. luckily, they usually remain off of WA, or at least out of the BIG drama category of WA. but there is plenty of drama associated with species nonetheless.

firstly, there is the matter of relevancy that needs to be addressed within species. although the LT did reform their guidelines to ensure that all species do have some form of relation to the warriors books in their lore, we haven’t seen much of a change. in order to “abide” by this new guidelines, many species creators simply said that the cats in their species could be found living in clans either in the wild, on their own accord, or as a whole. WITHOUT altering their lore as required. that’s all fine and dandy. but how does it derive species from the books? well. it doesn’t. because in order for a species to be truly relevant to the warriors fandom, they must have descended DIRECTLY from one of the five clans in the books, or a tribe. rogues and loners, while apart of the series, have never been found to go off and create their own clan(s) for the fun of it. and we have no reason to believe that would change in the series. even the Skyclan cats didn’t reform Skyclan for shits and giggles. they were influenced by clan cats and received prophetic dreams from Starclan cats that basically guilt tripped them into doing this really random thing that they otherwise wouldn’t have even known of.

so, in all technicality, rogue/loner species derivatives do not pertain to the books. in order for a species to be genuinely, unquestionably relevant to warriors they need to either be mutated/evolved counterparts to the clans/tribe, or they need to, by direct lineage, be related to the original clan cats. of course no one expects you to go draw up a family tree on how your flying monkey cats have someone come from Firestar the Greats bloodline. but simply saying so isn’t enough. if they’re truly relevant to the books, then species owners need to add it. to. the lore. yeah, that guideline has already been passed. but it was not followed efficiently. your quirky cats with a clan/tribe hierarchy or something similar to such does not make them relevant. fix the damn lore like the guidelines originally stated. oh, and sorry to break it to you, but this means that your mythical god-like cats, your robo-cats, and your human object cats are immediately out of the running for relevancy. I can see how wings might have some semblance of realistism, but your sparkly candle tailed cats or cats who grow moss in cute little bubbles serve no evolutionary purpose and wouldn’t have any possibility of existing within the warriors universe.

now, onto the next topic of relevancy: evolution. some people say that cats developing fish tails or wings defies the laws of evolution. it probably does. but then again, we are dealing with four territorial cult cats who are very religious and, on occasion, will fight ghost cats and lose so. I’m actually defending species on this part, but don’t get used to it. because in all honesty, who are we to defy the lengths that evolution will go to? we didn’t expect fish to grow legs, but here we are. who’s to say that in this hypothetical universes cats can’t evolve to accommodate wings? don’t get me wrong, I hate the idea of it, but it isn’t COMPLETELY unreasonable.

next on the agenda, we have attribute individuality. granted, there are only so many different ways to make your species unique and really genuinely original, seeing the same handful of base traits repeat themselves in multiple different species (that could honestly just be considered one species altogether) does get old. there are not infinite options for creating a species that is going to be genuinely relevant in some remote aspect, and at some point people need to realize its time to stop. new species sprout up on what seems like a monthly basis on several occasions. and, although they don’t always get big, they still hold a place in clogging the latest feed. specifically with their borderline unacceptably irrelevant adopts. species really test the limits in relevancy, and so do adopts, but that’s for another day. and I’m not saying adopts are bad, so don’t single that out from this entire confess.

there’s another thing. species adopts. they’re constantly flooding the latest feed and drowning out actual warriors/oc related content. “it’s not your place to tell people what they should and shouldn’t post!” yeah, no dip. that’s not what I’m doing. I’m simply expressing my grievances with the amount of UNBEARABLY absurd species adopts that are constantly being uploaded and sold. and pricing? yeesh, that’s also for another day. but I am, again, not blatantly telling anyone to “stop posting species adopts!” or “lower your prices!” so that’s not something that needs to be brought up. so, whether or not you continue to post species adopts is your business. I’m positive that plenty of people adore them and are eating them up like candy. but, coming from a rare non-species lover, it does get tiring to trudge through all those horned bases and eye bleed neons to find some actual content.

don’t get me wrong, I’m not against species, per se. but I am against them being on WA. they don’t serve any actual purpose to the fandom in terms of relevancy. in most cases at least. and while I do applaud the creativity, the uniqueness and the overall joy it brings to the table, I just think that they’d be better off elsewhere. this is not a cat amino. this is a warriors amino. meaning we are only inclusive of cats pertaining to the warriors fandom for validated use in the community. validated use consists of realistic role playing, realistic story writing, realistic artistry and/or realistic character development by any means. so, looking outside of species, any unrealistic characters are still fine for the community because they cannot actually be implimented into WA in the ways that species can for their unnatural complexions. the only reason species are justified for their unnatural complexions is because of loopholes that make them seem relevant and viable for validated use, simple because they are completely feline in the genetic sense.

I hope that paragraph made sense, shit got a little complex right there. but, anyways, I’d like to reiterate relevancy. again. because I don’t see anyone giving up their species on WA for the sake of being canonically relevant because they’re going to find some off the wall way to make their quirky cats seem applicable. to be fair, I wouldn’t want to give up by hard earned creation so easily either. but there ARE other places to take them. and it isn’t up to us to figure out where, it’s up to the species owners. so it’s not like the species would be thrown out altogether, it would just be the irrelevant ones. and the relevant ones would be required to ACTUALLY abide by the guidelines instead of finding loopholes or countering valid points as to how their species are not canonically derived with “they lives in clans.” again, sorry if this paragraph was hard to follow. I’m perfectly fine with clearing up any misunderstandings in those last two paragraphs^^

so, to sum up, I believe the guidelines should be fixed and species should be properly mandated to abide by these new guidelines in order to ensure ACTUAL relevancy. I don’t like species. I don’t want anything to do with them. but I like that they bring a new sense of community and likeness to WA. and I don’t give a rats ass if you choose to associate with them. I personally believe that NONE of the species have any place on WA, but that would be unfair of me, wouldn’t it. so, I did my best to accommodate rationality in this entry, and I apologize if I came off as a stuck up bitch at any point. it wasn’t my intention, but I sure it did happen at some point.

oh, and let me derail any “WA would be boring if it were 100% relevant” arguments. because firstly, it WAS 100% relevant when it first started out, and it thrived. secondly, no where did I claim that species need to be 100% relevant. I made it very clear that it was the lore and the traits that needed to match up to accommodate the terms of relevancy. and thirdly, even on the off chance that species were subtracted from the equation, there are still plenty of other aspects that leave WA out of the running for total relevancy. thank you for coming to my ted talk, have a nice day loves <3

#submission

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oliveheart-worldbuilding · 3 years

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Aster, Bee Balm, Daffodil, Dahlia, Laurel, Petunia, Rose, and Violet? I'd also add Gardenia but it's impossible to escape murder cats.

Hi there! Thank you so much for the ask! Once again, I’m sorry for taking so long to answer!

Adding a read more because this one is pretty long.

Aster- Who’s your least favorite character? Why?

This one is a bit difficult for me, I read many of the books a long time ago and I’m sure if I were to read them again my opinion on a lot of characters would be very different. Going only by memory I would say that Bluestar is one of my least favorite characters but then I would have to add many female characters that I now feel were completely mistreated by the authors and whose entire arcs where thrown under the bus in the name of forbidden love or man pain. I never liked Silverstream, but nowadays I know that whom I actually hate is Graystripe. I used to not like Leafpool or Squirrelflight at all, now I don’t. What I’m trying to say is that my opinion changes constantly and a lot. I read the books a long time ago and did so with a completely different mindset (I was 16 when I read Omen of the Stars and oh man was I edgy and stupid back then), most of my opinions nowadays are based on the potential the characters have rather than the actual character. So bearing that in mind:

-Bluestar: I know, I know, a lot of you love her a lot but even after reading people’s opinions on her I just… eh I don’t like her at all. She feels incredibly detached in the first books. To me she always treated Firepaw rather coldly. I know a lot of people talk about Bluestar as if she had become Firepaw’s adoptive mother but I just don’t see it. Reading about her losing her faith was very interesting, so was her crumping mind health but, I just gotta draw the line on how terrible she was to Brightpaw. In this house we love and respect Brightpaw and Bluestar was just very nasty to her. I really didn’t like her novella at all either. Based on her relationship with Whitestorm in The Prophecies Begin I always thought that she might have played an important role in his life after Snowfur died but, it doesn’t seem that way at all? The only moment we see them interact is when she tells Whitekit, in a very distressing way may I add, that her mother is dead and never coming back. To me, she also comes in as selfish and power-hungry, she spends a huge part of the book complaining about Thistleclaw (bear in mind, back then he was only overly ambitious, not a pedophile) and his relationship with her sister, even though she herself is spending time with Oakheart, a tom from another clan. When Goosefeather tells her about the prophecy he never specifies that she must be the one becoming leader, only that Thistleclaw is not meant to become one and yet she goes out of her way to become the leader so much so that she’s willing to risk her kittens’ safety (killing one in the process) just so she can be available for the position. She could have just uuuuhmmmm told Sunstar about the prophecy? Also I’m pretty sure Sunstar assures her that Thistleclaw would not have made a good leader multiple times so… he could have chosen literally anyone else? Rosetail? Thrustpelt? Don’t get me started on the whole Tigerkit dilemma! She chooses to believe Goosefeather prophecies when they strengthen her own personal bias but when she’s told about Tigerkit’s she just goes “aw man Goosefeather sure is crazy hahaha anyway back on me becoming leader”. I don’t know, there’s more to it but this is getting pretty long. Personally she’s just not my favorite.

-Graystripe: He’s a terrible friend, he treats Fireheart like absolute garbage, he chooses a molly he has known for exactly 2 days over his best friend and his entire clan, he leaves Thunderclan to spend more time with his kittens just to abandon them 5 seconds later, and yet the son of a bitch was somehow always meant to become deputy to Firestar??? Just because they are friends??? Dude went against the warrior code, endangered his clan by refusing to fight Riverclan, was incredible close to causing an all-out war with Riverclan, abandoned his clan, refused to see what was wrong about his behavior just because he was in love… How in the f is he a good warrior??? Erins I want answers; this man is garbage. When he gets captured by the humans and comes back to the lake he gets so SO mad at Firestar for not “waiting for him”, my dude you were gone for seasons, you were deputy, you really expect the entire clan to stop working so that you can keep your friendship bracelet position? Everybody thought you were dead Graystripe!! Was everyone supposed to keep vigil forever?? He’s also a terrible father to both his litters, his reaction to being told that Feathertail’s dead is “aw man… she was so beautiful… like her mom…” that’s terribleeee. At some point in Omen of the Stars, after Briarlight broke her spine, Millie complains about Graystripe not helping her at all and then they start fighting about it, Graystripe’s only answer is something along the lines of “yeah whatever dude”. I hate him so much. I stopped reading after The Last Hope, so I can’t talk about the rest but, I’ve seen some parts of Graystripe’s Vows and let me tell I want this man gone for good. He’s lived for too long.

-Lionblaze: He’s the most flavorless character in the history of flavorless characters. What’s his arc? That’s right. He doesn’t have one. I literally have nothing to say about him. How is this character alive and in his way to become leader when Hollyleaf could have been in his place? Disgusting. Also, dreaming about killing your girlfriend and bathing in her blood? Bad. Not showing not even a bit of remorse about after waking up? Terrible. Badly hurting her mentor when you were trying harm her? Just straight up fucked up. He’s badly written, boring and kind of very misogynist at times.

I have many other opinions because I’m a very judgmental person but I’m gonna leave it at that because this is getting very long.

Bee Balm- What’s your favorite novella or super edition?

I’ve only read three! So Crockedstar’s promise I guess.

Daffodil- When did you first start reading the books?

In the summer of 6th grade, that’s when I was… 11-12 years old? I think? So in 2012-2013, I started reading them in Spanish but I read through them super-fast and the translations were super slow to come out so I just started reading the books in English. It actually helped my English level quite a bit! My first English book was The Forest of Secrets I think.

Dahlia- Has any death scene actually made you cry? What was it?

Snowfur’s (Reading about Whitekit screaming at her mother to wake up was super messed up), Yellowfang’s (I loved that old woman. I wish they hadn’t written about her in Starclan, she’s so out of character in later books) and Hollyleaf’s death (yes, first and second time, young me loved her to pieces. I still can’t believe they let her die a second time when Lionblaze’s flavorless ass was right there…).

Laurel- If you could write the books, what changes would you make?

I would contemplate the idea of just, moving forward in time? The warriors’ series feels very stagnant. Young characters die while having no personality at all and older characters from the first series are still alive and very much immortal at this point. We need new fresh blood.

I would just set up a completely new series: maybe the stories of Firestar and his family have been immortalized, maybe they are now revered as gods or something, I would create an actual religion system, one based in nature, the death and rebirth of all things and the need to remember those who have fallen. I would change their entire culture so that elders are more important; medicine cats are not regarded as useless (I’m looking at every character that forced in this position instead of choosing it themselves) and the warrior code actually makes sense.

The setting of this new series would be the lake territories but a long time has passed since the time of Firestar and things have changed a lot. A kittypet joins the clans and through their perspective we see how they work and act, what makes every single one of them different, their culture and laws, etc. It would be a nod to the first series while being completely new. It would also allow to add new characters from the start so they all have personalities and relationships with each other.

I would also contemplate creating one last series set up in the time of the original clans where everything just goes to hell. You guys remember rabies? I want that + Starclan going crazy. A full out massacre of old characters that ends in only a few surviving ones. I want blood, and I want it to be scary. If children can read about Tigerclaw’s horrible death, then they can read what in my opinion would be a zombie/ghost apocalypse. And then I would start anew with this completely new series set up in the future.

I mean, I would rewrite a looooooot of things, but that’s a talk for another day.

Petunia- Which arc is your favorite? Which is your last favorite?

My favorite is The Prophecies Begin when it comes to the plot and the Power of Three when it comes to characters. My least favorite is the New Prophecy.

Rose- Do you prefer traditional naming or creative naming?

Traditional all the way! I like when things have meaning and each name having its own really helps the feeling of there being a pre-established culture! Creative naming just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me in this context but that’s just my personal taste.

Violet- What do you think is the worst trope in the series?

Already answered!

Gardenia- Do you think you’ll ever leave the fandom?

Probs not, I’m in too deep, warriors is always at the back of my mind...

#warriors #warrior cats #Erin Hunter #i speak #ask

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admutual · 4 years

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What do you think Roger’s childhood was like up in space?

oh god , i sdknsdkj have Some hcs for his childhood ,, but my hcs are kinda messy, so i’ll try to word this the best i can.

i’ll start with his relationship with his parents since i got a Lot to say here.

for starters,, his childhood was mostly ,, hh Not Great.

his mother was controlling, emotionally abusive, neglectful, and highly manipulative. she also kept roger a shut-in most of his childhood, so roger never really gained proper social skills and had to rely on her as his only source of interpersonal contact. she had this habit of bullying him and putting him down and just destroying his self-esteem, before softening up and drawing him back in with a faux sense of compassion and gentleness (she def tried to convince him that she was the only one who could possibly love him). she was sorta a ‘zira meets mother gothel meets rainflower from warrior cats, with a little frollo mixed in’ type. she was a mess.

his dad on the other hand was emotionally distant and absent and just utterly disinterested in roger, and the few times he was around he was loud, aggressive, and prone to fits of anger. he was also highly religious and it Showed. i don’t have the actual complete details for the religion he followed, all i really have is most of my inspiration for it stems from a lot of xenofiction i read (lapine mythology from watership down, starclan from warrior cats, the spirituality from tailchaser’s song ,, i’m like physically unable to make non-human creatures without drawing inspiration from xenofiction) and that roger definitely experiences some religious trauma from him.

his parents fought a Lot. and it did a number on roger,, kinda why i like to believe he’s so desperate for drama, it’s all he’s known and the peace of quiet living is unnerving to him.

roger was desperate to be on his parents’ good sides. his mother was unpredictable in this regard in that she bounced back and forth between being gentle and kind before switching to verbal abuse and aggression. his dad though never expressed any positive feelings for roger. rog tried really hard to earn his dad’s affection, but after he got older and started to realize that that just wasn’t gonna happen, his tone toward him shifted to disdain. it definitely helped that his mother was loud in her distaste for his father too and through her aforementioned behavior managed to keep roger on her side through it all. if his mom hated someone, roger did too.

that whole thing about roger eating his dad,, ye . gonna make that Edgier let’s go. i like to imagine it was long after roger had accepted that his dad sucked, he was alone with him, he got pushed a little too far, and he just snapped, killing him. as for the cannibalism thing, that religion i mentioned earlier? i still don’t have much details, but one thing i Do know is that one important belief in this religion is how their bodies are handled after death and it’s very important that funeral services are handled accordingly,, shit like don’t touch the body with bare skin after the passing, their grave must be lined with bark and leaves from a specific type of tree, no visiting the burial site for a set period of time after burial, etc. so roger, being the dramatic extreme petty bitch he is, decided to give one last ‘fuck you’ to his dad by eating him instead to fuck up the burial process. we love taking a generic primetime sitcom and making it edgier than it needs to be.

i kinda like to imagine roger’s relationships with his parents heavily influenced his relationship with stan and francine too:

for stan’s side, roger felt that stan reminded him a lot of his own father. like i said, roger felt a heavy resentment towards his father, and after coming to earth and finding he was going to be living with someone who all too closely resembled him, he put his foot down and refused to allow himself to keel over to what felt like mistreatment from him.

when roger first started to get to know stan, all he saw in him initially was the same anger and neglect he got from his own father, and in turn went out of his way to lash out and harass him as sort of a cathartic defense. but then time went on, the two started to see each other on their own level, and roger realized how stan below the surface was far from how his dad was, and he warmed up enough to view him as a close friend. i kinda like to think roger softened up to stan after finding out about jack too, as you know he could relate to him having a shitty neglectful dad himself.

as for francine, roger was drawn to her for the opposite reason in that she was nothing like his mom. roger was a total mama’s boy back home, like i said she kept him shut-in during his childhood to where she was the only one he could rely on. even after coming to earth, roger was still under the impression that she truly loved him and he had a habit of getting overly defensive of her (klaus makes a ‘your mom’ joke and roger’s in tears screaming at him to take it back). he started to question some of her treatment towards him the longer he stayed, especially with the more families he got close to where he got to observe other people’s parental relationships, but never enough to have an epiphany that she sucked. it wasn’t until after the events of ‘weiner of our discontent’ that he finally started to actively reflect on his past life on his home planet, now that he knew he was stuck on earth to stay, and he finally accepted that his mom wasn’t good to him.

as for how this influenced his relationship with francine, like i said francine was way different from roger’s mom. initially roger was super uncomfortable every time she treated him kindly and gently. he sorta held back from getting too close for a good month or two because he didn’t know which of her behavior was genuine and what was just a facade. but time went on, he decided to trust her by letting down his guard and allowing her to get close, and now the two are as tight-knit as can be. and roger’s still a total mama’s boy with her sometimes. also the aforementioned religious trauma roger experienced,, i like to believe that also drew him closer to francine after hearing her experiences growing up. roger’s just Shared Trauma Buddies with everyone.

anyways after years of constant abuse and neglect, he eventually finds a family that loves him unconditionally and he’s finally allowed to rest. i’m a slut for the ‘earn your happy ending’ trope and i’m pushing that onto roger.

(actually one last thing ,, this isn’t a set-in-stone hc, i’m not sure if i’m gonna keep it, but i like to bounce around the idea that maybe the reason his parents were so awful to him is because they believed he was responsible for a sibling’s death. like roger when he really little was out playing on the ice, things Went Wrong and it shattered, his older sib leaped in to rescue him, but things Went Even More Wrong, and his sibling managed to save him but not themself. and his parent’s (or at least his mom since i like to imagine his dad just from the start was pretty distant) immediately placed the blame on roger and never forgave. like i said idk if i’m gonna keep it as a hc, but whatevs thought i’d mention it anyway since the topic of roger’s childhood’s brought up)

and now that that’s done, the other stuff.

i like to believe because of roger’s kind’s practice of abduction, they have a decent enough study on various other planet’s species. and roger, from a young age, immediately built up a fascination with humans. he spent hours reading and rereading every study and book he could find on them. when he was given the choice to be The Decider, it was a complete dream come true for him, not only because he found what he felt was his life’s purpose, but also because he could finally study up close a species he’s admired all his life. (also once roger landed on earth his interest in humans quickly shifted from an ‘idk i just think they’re cute and fun and interesting creatures!!’ to an ‘oh fuck . o h god … humans are Hot what the hell ….’ like i make jokes about how ‘oh haha steve’s an alien fucker lol’ but tbh ……. roger’s the alien fucker in the relationship.)

bouncing off that, they definitely don’t have english as their main language. that’s always been a trope that’s annoyed me, the whole ‘every alien just inexplicably speaks english by default and can communicate with humans fluently’ trope. because of that, i like to believe roger self-taught himself multiple languages through earthling test subjects, listening to audio recordings and such. he wasn’t completely fluent, but it was enough that he could at least communicate enough once he landed on earth. and as for the mothership featured in ‘lost in space’,, hc that it’s installed with a universal translator. still kinda a lazy cop-out i guess, but whatever.

roger’s always been ,, idk,, softer than his species. not in an ‘uwu he’s actually a total sweetheart’ kinda way, but just in that unlike most of his kind, he can experience compassion (it’s rare and his conscience is still really weak, and empathy is still completely foreign to him, but he does experience compassion for those he allows to get close to him like the smiths), he’s always been too sensitive compared to most of his kind, he’s too emotionally-driven, he latches onto others and cares to much what others think of him, just a bunch of things that to most of his peers made him come across as ‘weaker’.

roger picked his own name!! i don’t really care for the trope of aliens having generic western names, so my hc is that when roger’s kind are born they’re given a placeholder name (or a title or something) and then they’re allowed to pick whatever name they want as they get older, which often times is influenced by other species. like i said earlier, roger’s always had a fascination with humans, and i like to think he decided to name himself after an abduction victim he read up on.

once roger was able to distance himself from his mom and was allowed on his own, he was a constant traveller, both in the sense of journeying across his home planet, and in finding any way possible to travel to other planets. sitting still for too long bored him and he needed to explore every possible place he could.

liste n ,,,,, roger loved building snowmen growing up. the few times he got the chance to get out was always spent building them and creating personalities for them. and he still finds himself building them on earth sometimes.

roger’s always loved reading. he can’t count how many times he flew through all the books they had around the house. and even now he just . really loves to read and can power through massive books in a matter of hours.

he loves watching the snow fall and blizzards always brought him a lot of comfort.

that whole thing about roger’s kind being 60% electricity? roger had a lot of trouble controlling excess electricity as a kid. his parents weren’t good teachers, so he just had a habit of accidentally jolting others on accident, sometimes while reading he’d get too excited and accidentally singe the papers a little, he was always pretty shaky as a kid just from how much electricity he had coursing through his body that he had zero clue how to process safely.

roger’s tendency towards playing characters came at a young age. he was always running around the house playing pretend as multiple characters and that habit just never went away.

i like to imagine roger enjoyed building little dens in the snow to chill in. for his kind, children tend to build snow dens to function in the same way human kids build treehouses,, just to vibe with their friends. and on earth sometimes during the winter roger will decide to build a den in the backyard and spend some of his nights down there.

roger’s kind love swimming. probably one of their more popular sports, hell some of them even choose to fish for their own food in the same way seals do. roger though? terrified of the water. nowadays he’s okay with it (still prefers to avoid it for the most part though), but as a kid it was one of his worst fears.

i feel like there’s something i’m missing? idk, this is long enough though so i’ll stop jsdgndks.

#anon #asks #american dad

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yascaret · 5 years

Text

really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

(I edited/removed some of the questions to make this more FFXIV-friendly)

RULES. Repost, don’t reblog ! Tag 10 ! Good luck!

TAGGED BY. No one, I just wanted to do it lol

TAGGING. @gvnbreaker @wood-warder @necrologos @finishing-touch @glory-bound @vysaldhe @violet-warder @whisperingdawn and anyone else who wants to do it!

BASICS.

FULL NAME : Lofn Yascaret

NICKNAME : None (yet??)

AGE : Appears around 30 by hyur standards

BIRTHDAY : Midwinter

ETHNIC GROUP : Viera (Rava)

NATIONALITY : Ivalician (?)

LANGUAGE / S : Common

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Homosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Homoromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : In a relationship with Aja Hyskaris & Pjel Qoet

HOME TOWN / AREA : Yascaret, Golmore

CURRENT HOME : A small, cluttered house in Shirogane

PROFESSION : Disaster lesbian, whiner

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : White with faint violet undertones. Thick, heavy bangs that partially obscure her eyes. Her hair is very dense and wavy, and it reaches her waist when loose.

EYES : Violet, but the left is considerably paler than the right

FACE : Pretty, if melancholy. Pronounced cheeks, prominent nose, striking profile.

LIPS : Small, but full. Usually painted a dark brown.

COMPLEXION : A dark, barely warm brown. Mottled with white “freckles” in places (nose, cheeks, shoulders, breasts, lower back)

BLEMISHES : None of note

SCARS : A few old, faded scars here and there from a life long left behind her

TATTOOS : None

HEIGHT : Nearly seven fulms

WEIGHT : Average

BUILD : Slim, but more bottom-heavy. Her upper arms are the only indication of muscle left from the Wood.

FEATURES : Feminine, pleasant (by viera standards, at least). Has a very defined nose and a striking profile. Heavy-lidded eyes that naturally lend to melancholy expressions.

ALLERGIES : None of note

USUAL HAIR STYLE : High, messy ponytail. Dense, thick bangs that almost completely obscure her eyes

USUAL FACE LOOK : Melancholy, aloof, heavy-lidded eyes and faint, pensive frowns

USUAL CLOTHING : Loose, comfortable blouses, leather trousers, tall heeled boots. Browns, whites, silver, violet

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Abandonment, loss of loved ones, loss of her senses

ASPIRATION / S : To find some amount of meaning in her life outside the Wood, to find her calling

POSITIVE TRAITS : Resourceful, passionate, resilient

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Aloof, anxious, self-destructive

MBTI : ISFP-T (Adventurer)

ZODIAC : Menphina (Aquarius in real world)

TEMPERAMENT : Melancholic

SOUL TYPE / S : Artisan (I have no idea what this means??? I googled it and took a buzzfeed quiz for her lol)

ANIMALS : Rabbit

VICE HABIT / S : Pining, infatuation, brooding, oversleeping, stress eating

FAITH : Belief, sure--faith, not really

GHOSTS ? : Why not?

AFTERLIFE ? : Why not?

REINCARNATION ? : Why not? But probably more likely than afterlife.

ALIENS ? : Probably

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Zero concept of politics outside the wood and she intends to keep it that way, being a selfish bitch

EDUCATION LEVEL : Average education level of the average rava viera

FAMILY.

FATHER : lmao

MOTHERS : Dead to her, all four of them

SIBLINGS : One older sister (that she knows of)--their relationship was not great

EXTENDED FAMILY : Countless cousins and half-sisters, none of which she knows anything about

NAME MEANING / S : Lofn, from the village Yascaret

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : It matters not

FAVORITES.

BOOK : She’s the type of freak who reads instruction manuals and spellbooks for fun, so probably one of those

DEITY : She tries not to think about them

HOLIDAY : Moonfire Faire (does that count as a holiday?)

MONTH : The warm ones

SEASON : Summer

PLACE : Her bedroom, or the Azim Steppe

WEATHER : Thunderstorms, though she is growing more fond of snow

SOUND / S: Rain on the roof, thunder in the distance, the sound of wind through flowers or trees

SCENT / S : Honeysuckle, cedarwood, leather, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TASTE / S : Honeysuckle, orchid, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

FEEL / S : Soft moss, clean sheets, sheepskin, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ANIMAL / S : Cats

NUMBER : 3

COLORS : Violet, brown

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Picking up new things (especially technical things), singing (though she doesn’t sing anymore, ever),

BAD AT : Getting her shit together and keeping her shit together

TURN ONS : Shitty smirks, sweet smiles, pet names, fleeting touches, romanticism

TURN OFFS : Men

HOBBIES : Drawing, writing, gardening, tinkering

TROPES : Lipstick Lesbian, Insecure Love Interest, Marry Them All, One True Threesome, I Have No Son!, Traumatic Superpower Awakening, Mad Whisper, Country Mouse, Affluent Ascetic, Lady and Knight, Eye Colour Change, Sky Pirate, Combat Stilettos, Dark-Skinned Blond, Statuesque Stunner, Wrench Wench, You Can't Go Home Again, The Gift (I have to stop or I will be on TV Tropes all day)

QUOTES : "Oh no”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : It would probably just be Mulholland Drive but everyone has rabbit ears

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Dreamy and melanchol, like The Duke of Burgundy’s OST if it sounded less sinister

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : Because when viera came out I knew exactly what I wanted my viera to be--a physically strong, emotionally stable badass warrior lady who doesn’t afraid of anything--so naturally she became the exact opposite of that because at all times my subconscious is trying to sabotage me

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : My grubby little gay hands wrapping around Final Fantasy Tactics Advance in 2003 and seeing a viera for the first time. Also, my grubby little 1999 gay brain struggling to comprehend why I thought Ultimecia was so hot

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : Sometimes writing her is stressful because I channel my own past experiences with depression and anxiety a little too hard I think. Also her overarching themes I want to eventually bring out via RP storylines are so ambitious and complicated that I feel entirely too stupid to write it well so I’m always at least a little bit stressed about that

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Crippling depression lmao

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : She’d probably not even acknowledge my existence because I’m a human and what good is that

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : I feel like Pjel and Aja are the obvious choice so I feel a little shitty saying Pjel and Aja, but...I really love playing Lofn off both of them, I feel like they perfectly compliment different parts of her personality that I really enjoy writing (mainly her pettiness and her gayness) and I feel like Lofn also prods at both of their insecurities just by being her terrible self, and it’s fun for me to watch them squirm lol

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : Um, premenstrual syndrome?? Lmao but for real if I’m struggling I’ll just go watch some Gentleman Jack (Lofn is literally Ann Walker, sorry) or listen to some FF8/FF9 music, or dick around in FF12 for a bit. Basically I identify a handful of loose inspirational touchstones for a character and fuck around with all of them until inspiration strikes

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : About a week, off and on...

#character building #this took entirely too much of my time

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nothingxisxtrue · 5 years

Text

A secret only she knew

So uhmm, this fic is highly inspired by this Janaya headcanon. Well, basically it is just this headcanon but in form of a fic. Whatever.

I want to apoligize for my English and also maybe my writing skills? I don’t know. I haven’t written anything in quiet some time and also, this actually is my first English fic ever. English isn’t my first language. So please, forgive me for any mistakes in spelling or grammar. I think the last time I wrote an English text was like... two years ago?

Anyways, I hope it’s enjoyable nonetheless ^^

-----

It was a quiet night. A peaceful one. Janai enjoyed this illusion of peace. Just for one short moment, she was able to enjoy not fighting. Not making any new plans about how she and her Sunfire Knights could break through the border and defeat the humans.

Well, actually she was scouting around said border right now. It was dark and she had been able to sneak into human territory unseen. The absence of the sun or at least the lava made her feel slightly uneasy and the fact that she was on the enemy’s side of the border did nothing to improve that feeling. But somehow, she still felt somewhat calm. Maybe it was just because of how quiet this night was. Or because for once she did not have to fight and think.

It was so quiet, that she was able to hear a fire before she even saw it. She froze immediately. Her ears twitched and she tried to eavesdrop. Except for the fire there was nothing to hear. So, she approached the fire soundlessly, until she was able to detect but not yet recognise people.

Right now, she was in a forest, the camp on a small clearing. So, she climbed a tree, quiet as a cat, and carefully approached the fire through the treetops. She wasn’t wearing her fancy helmet and her armour was light. Like that it was easy enough to stay soundless and hidden.

Janai immediately recognised the human general when she was close enough. This bitch she would recognise with her eyes closed. She scowled angrily.

As much as she wanted to attack right away, she had to admit that she would not stand a chance against the general plus six more soldiers. So, she stayed in her tree and watched them.

Now she also understood why it was so quiet. No one was saying a word. Instead, the general moved her hands passionately and her soldiers were staring at her fingers like she was telling a story with them.

Maybe it was a secret language the humans had created to keep their plans safe from any potential spies?

Janai winced in surprise when suddenly, all the soldiers started to laugh. The general grinned.

“Really? Just like that?”, one of the soldiers asked.

The woman nodded.

“No, I don’t believe it”, said another.

The general, which had still been looking at the first soldier, now looked at the second one and tapped her chin with her finger. The soldier answered with movements of his hands.

That was when Janai understood the situation. The general was deaf. She had seen the first soldier talking, so she knew what he had said. Then, while still looking at him, from the corner of her eyes she had seen that the other one had said something as well, but she had not been able to see, what exactly it was. Perhaps she had asked him to repeat it and he did just that by using that sign language.

Only now Janai realised that she had never heard the general talking.

Something happened in Janai’s heart. Something she was not able to name. She became aware of how little she knew about the general. After all these months of fighting it had even escaped her that she was deaf.

Janai felt a trace of admiration. Never would she dare to claim that someone who was... restricted in one way or another would not be able to fight. She knew some warriors who had lost an arm or an eye. But none of them were generals. Or as talented as the human. This restriction was, in fact, no restriction for her. She was able to handle it easily. Janai couldn’t help but be impressed and fascinated.

Carefully, she adjusted her position to sit more comfortably. She didn’t want to leave yet. Instead, she decided to watch the general and her soldiers for some longer. For pure strategic purposes, of course. Hoping for important information. For no other reason than that. What else could be her motives?

The following night Janai decided to go scouting again. She told her warriors that she might have found something of interest, but gave no further explanation. For them she ordered to stay. She wanted to go alone.

The camp was on the exact same spot, with the exact same six soldiers and the general sitting around the fire. Janai climbed into her tree and observed them. Seldom, almost never, she was sparing the soldiers a look. Her gaze was on the general most of the time. She watched her telling stories to her soldiers. She watched her whetting her sword. Sparring with her soldiers and beating every single one of them. Filling sheets of paper with drawings.

Janai returned in the following night. And the one after that. And the next one. She persuaded herself of this to be for the sole purpose of collecting information about the enemy. Maybe she even was actually convinced of this.

But when the soldiers were talking, she didn’t really listen to them. When she did it for once, she was surprised by them seemingly being good and kind-hearted. They laughed together, exchanged stories, trained together, helped one another to become better. These people were not the horrible and evil creatures she had always believed them to be. Not the monsters she had been told about. They were just friends, sitting together on a campfire.

It was irritating that Janai was not able to understand the general. So, in every night to follow, she brought a book with her to take notes of her hand movements and their possible meanings. Of course, she did this only in case the general would give any important information.

That’s what she told herself until she realised that she wanted nothing but to understand the stories she was telling. That she wanted to get to know her better. That she desperately wanted to talk to her.

So, she returned again and again and again, watched the general for hours every night, tried to learn that sight language. Gradually, she understood some words. Then, some sentences and ultimately, whole stories. She was deeply fascinated by seeing her battle-hardened nature disappear while she was not training or fighting. She was funny when she was telling her stories, gentle when she was listening to other’s and peaceful when she was drawing.

At some point, Janai had to admit that she felt drawn to that woman.

Of course, she noticed the concerned glances of her knights every night she returned, but she assured them that this was for tactical reasons only. No one dared to object.

And she returned to the camp every following night.

In the daytime, while she was not at the human camp, she practised the signs in her notebook. Eventually, she knew how to sign full sentences, but because of her only four fingers it was hard.

There were some nights in which she was sure that the general had seen her. Sometimes she looked into the treetops while telling one of her stories. Or she looked alarmingly precisely in Janai’s direction while drawing. Fortunately, she never seemed to actually spot her.

Then they received word that a prince of Katolis and a Moonshadow elf had returned the Dragon Prince to Xadia and his mother.

Janai did not know what this would mean for her and her warriors. Were they expected to continue the fights? Should they retreat?

Would there finally be... peace?

All she knew was that she did not want to fight the general again. But on the other hand, she did not want anyone to order them to withdrawal. Because then, she would probably never see this woman again.

But before she received orders from her superiors, she and her Sunfire Knights had another run in with the humans.

She ordered her knights not to attack.

She panicked. She did not want to fight. She did not want to attack the humans. She did not want the humans to attack and make her knights defend themselves. She did not...

When Janai looked at the general, the human raised her hand and turned to her soldiers. Janai was proud to understand her orders.

“Stay. Weapons at ready. Maybe they already know. I will talk to the elf.”

Janai tensed. The general wanted to talk to her. She wanted to talk to her!

So, she turned to her knights, too. “I will talk to her alone.”

She met concerned glances but no objections.

For a moment, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then walked towards the humans.

The general looked at her harshly. She turned to a man next to her. “Wait”, she ordered and started to walk towards Janai.

Never before in her life had Janai been so nervous. She had met the general many times. But this was something entirely different. They had fought the last times. She knew how to fight. But now, they would talk. In her panic, she almost wanted to run back to her warriors.

But then she suddenly stood nothing but a foot apart from the general.

Janai’s breaths sped up when the general examined her. For the human it was the first time she was able to actually look at Janai. There had never been the time for that before. Not with swords clashing against swords.

Uncertain what to do now, Janai bowed her head to greet her.

The general examined her for another moment and then returned the gesture. Her gaze stayed cold.

The elf’s heart beat faster.

After that, the general turned to sign that man from before, most likely her interpreter, to come, but Janai raised a hand to stop him. He paused and threw the general an unsure glance.

The woman turned back to Janai and raised one eyebrow. Her hand moved to the hilt of her sword.

Janai gulped. She raised her shaking hand and put it on her chest. Then, with two fingers of her right hand, she tapped on two fingers of her left hand. She hesitated and thought about the next sign for a second. With the finger, that would be most equal to a human’s little finger, she drew a J in the air. After that she made a fist and extended her thumb. Signing a N was a bit difficult with just four fingers, but she was sure that the general would understand her anyways. So, she put two fingers on her thumb. The fourth one stayed on her palm. She signed another A and, finally, held her “little finger” up into the air.

My name is J-A-N-A-I.

The general had watched her closely. She seemed impassive, but her stony features softened.

She raised her hand and Janai feared for her heart to crush her ribcage.

She made a fist and extended her thumb. Afterwards, she put three fingers on her thumb, while the fifth one stayed on her palm. Then, the first sign again. After that she made a fist and extended her thumb and her little finger. At last, another A.

“Amaya”, Janai whispered in awe. It was a foreign name to her. A strange one. But she cherished it like a secret only she knew.

After taking a deep breath, she tried to ask the general – Amaya – whether she knew about recent events. But it was hard with only four fingers on each hand.

Amaya watcher her concentrated, but suddenly she put her hand on Janai’s.

Her eyed widened and she stared at her. She was sure to see something like a soft smile on Amaya’s lips. She lowered her hand and again signed for the man to come.

Hesitantly, he came closer.

In her excitement, Amaya’s signs were way too fast for her to understand.

“I am honoured by your gesture”, the man interpreted them. “But this will be easier. The four fingers, you know.”

Janai nodded.

“Yes, we know, what happened”, the man continued without taking his eyes of Amaya’s hands. He seemed scared of Janai.

It horrified her how justified his concerns were. Or would be, if not for...

“We did not jet receive further orders from our superiors”, Janai explained. “I don’t know... That the prince is still alive and a human, of all things, was the one to retuned him together with an elf... It might change everything.”

Amaya stared at her lips while she was talking. She nodded. Her eyes glowed with something Janai could not name.

“My nephew. My sister’s son”, the man interpreted her movements for Janai.

Pride, she realised. It was pride in her eyes.

“We have no orders either. I don’t think there is a reason for us to continue our fights for now.” The interpreter appeared surprised after saying this.

Janai nodded in agreement. “Me neither. Maybe... maybe we should wait, for now. See, how the situation will turn out. Wait for new orders.”

Amaya nodded, too.

“Stay on our sides of the border and wait.”

“Wait”, Janai repeated again. “And hope for the best?” Under no circumstances did she want to fight Amaya again. How could she, now?

“For peace”, Amaya added.

Janai lowered her gaze. Then she raised her head again and looked Amaya in the eyes and extended one hand.

“Let’s hope for peace”, she said.

For an agonizingly long moment, Amaya just stared at her hand. The, she returned her look, took her hand and squeezed it softly.

Janai knew that this handshake lasted way too long to be called professional. But she savoured every single second of being allowed to hold Amaya’s hand.

But then she had to let go.

She threw a quick look at her knights and then turned back to Amaya.

“We will retreat now and not return before we receive new orders.”

“Just like us.”

Janai nodded. “Good.”

She turned and signed for her knights to withdraw. They hesitated for a second, but followed her orders without question.

Janai walked a few steps towards them, but stopped in her tracks to turn around one more time.

The general was still standing on the same spot.

Janai put a fist on her chest and drew a circle there.

I am sorry.

Amaya’s gaze changed. It looked almost regretful.

“When we meet the next time, it might not be on friendly grounds. There are people who want to keep this war running, no matter what”, her soldier interpreted her signs.

“I know.” Janai nodded and turned to leave with her soldiers.

She hoped in earnest that this would not be the case.

Back in her camp, her knights harassed her to tell them about what had happened. She explained what she and Amaya had agreed upon. That they would wait for the situation to develop further.

She did not notice the confused glances of her knights upon her calling the general by her first name. She told them about her hope for peace, now that the Dragon Prince had been returned. Because that would mean for no more of the knights to die. That’s the reason she gave them.

But, of course, her hopes were way more selfish than that. She couldn’t help herself but hope that the next time she would meet Amaya, it would be in the signs of peace..

She did not return to the human camp after that. There was no good reason to tell her knights. She did not want to give the impression that she wanted to break the truce she and Amaya had agreed upon.

But she terribly missed watching Amaya. She wished she could just return. Watch her telling stories, training, drawing. She would be satisfied with that.

Of course, she would like it even more if she could talk to her. To her alone. Without an interpreter. But she would not be able to communicate smoothly. Not with her four fingers. Not with her limited knowledge of sign language. Amaya, of course, would understand her effortlessly. She was able to read lips perfectly. But Janai wanted to understand her exact words, too.

She could not believe her luck when suddenly, a week later, a mysterious package arrived for her. It contained a book about sign language. Modified, so she could use it with only four fingers.

Her favourite sign was a very easy one. Her middle finger on her palm, the other fingers extended.

I love you.

Janai treated this book like her greatest treasure. Memorized each page by heart. Pressed it to her chest when she missed Amaya.

But once she reached the end of the book, she almost dropped it in surprise. Whoever would have seen her in that moment would have sworn that, despite her dark skin, she blushed up to the tips of her ears. But she would deny this until her dying day.

There, on the last few pages, were rough sketches of her lurking in the branches above Amaya’s camp.

Amaya had known it all the time.

Many years later, Janai asked Amaya why she never had done something about her. She could have set a trap for her. She could have killed her. Easily. It could have been a short but important victory for the humans on the breach.

“Because you never attacked. Because I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t”, she signed.

“I am glad about what happened”, Janai said. “About everything. The war and...”

Amaya put a finger on her lips. “I am glad you discovered my camp and spied on it”, her hands formed.

Janai couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, me too.”

All those years after the war she still couldn't believe she was able to put her lips on Amaya’s, just like she did now.

#janaya #janai #amaya #tdp #the dragon prince

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veloxaraptor · 5 years

Text

Never Ending Survey- Gan Raizure

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Gan Raizure of the Haragin Tribe

NICKNAME: Sharkie, Grumpy Guppy

AGE: 35

BIRTHDAY: 19th sun of the 4th Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Yokai

NATIONALITY: Xaela/Othardian

LANGUAGE/S: Common, Xaela, Pirate, Hingan, Ancient Yangxian, very basic Doman

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married, Polyamorous Relationship

HOME TOWN / AREA: The Azim Steppes and Limsa Lominsa

CURRENT HOME: The Goblet, Ul’dah

PROFESSION: Mercenary, Novelist, Relic Hunter

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Long, straight, violet with teal highlights.

EYES: Green and Orange

FACE: Angular, Square/Rectangular in shape

LIPS: Between thin and full

COMPLEXION: Tanned

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: SO MANY. Major ones are gunshot on back left shoulder, one on her right shoulder, a bite mark on the right side of her chest, three claw marks under her left eye, a spear stab on her left side under the ribs, claw marks on the right side of her belly from navel to hip.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 4′ 9″

WEIGHT: 115 ponze

BUILD: Muscular, solid

FEATURES: Black sclera, black markings around her eyes

ALLERGIES: None that she is aware of

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Half up and braided

USUAL FACE LOOK : Scowling or “Wtf”

USUAL CLOTHING: Chest wraps, shorts, no shoes

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Losing her loved ones, being alone, mirrors, tentacles

ASPIRATION/S: To protect her loved ones, to grow a wonderful family, to someday break the cage she’s put on herself mentally

POSITIVE TRAITS: Quick acting, loyal, honest, loving, passionate

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, restless, impulsive, stubborn, quick to anger.

TEMPERAMENT: somewhat aggressive

SOUL TYPE/S: Warrior

ANIMALS: Shark, wolf

VICE HABIT/S: Alcohol, smoking, fighting

FAITH: None, though references Halone more often than not

GHOSTS?: Yes

AFTERLIFE?: Unsure

REINCARNATION?: Yes

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Stays out of it

EDUCATION LEVEL: None. All self taught.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Bataar of the Haragin (Deceased)

MOTHER : Ehri of the Haragin (deceased)

SIBLINGS : Torugana Arulaq (Half sister) and possibly many more

EXTENDED FAMILY: Unknown, late husband’s siblings (there’s like 5 of them)

NAME MEANING/S: “The Bold One”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Mysteries and romances

DEITY: None

HOLIDAY: All Saint’s Wake. (Though she finds most holidays a bit bizarre)

MONTH: October/November

SEASON: Autumn

PLACE: any beach

WEATHER: Overcast. Bonus if it’s raining.

SOUND / S: The ocean, rain, thunderstorms

SCENT / S: Sea air, lavender

TASTE / S: buuz, chocolate, alcohol

FEEL / S: Snuggling the husband or boyfriend, sand underfoot, water on skin

ANIMAL / S: sharks, cats

NUMBER: 6

COLORS: Black, Purple, Blue

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Cooking, writing, swimming, fighting

BAD AT: Drawing, singing, dancing, expressing herself

TURN ONS: Loyalty, straightforwardness, protectiveness, violence

TURN OFFS: Naivete, intentional stupidity, inability to take responsibility for things

HOBBIES: Cooking, smoking, writing, swimming, fighting

TROPES: Femme Fatale, scrappy scrapper, tough outside soft inside, breaking the chains, being bad doesnt mean you cant be nice

QUOTES :

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : An action flick. Probably set in feudal Japan. I got nothing else.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Lots of orchestral pieces, even mix of epic feeling and some gentle, more feelsy pieces.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : I wanted to work with a character that’s hard to get along with, but really is just well meaning despite her actions and methods. From there she just kind of evolved into her own thing.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : She’s different from what I usually play. Generally I play stoic, assassiny types that focus on logic instead of emotion.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : Somehow everyone wants a piece of her? Well not everyone, but a lot of people want their characters to be with her in some capacity and it’s overwhelming at times.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : I am incredibly protective and defensive of my friends and loved ones.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : What a bitch.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : Gosh it’s hard to really say. Things have led me to not being in touch with too many people anymore. But Aanzo who she likes to call her Papa Popoto, Idristan who she regards as a friend but likes to heckle, her husband Noise, of course.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : Just kinda... anything really.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : Longer than I care to admit because I kept getting distracted. >.>

Tagged by @roses-and-grimoires

Tagging.... you!!!

#Gan Raizure #holy hells #but thanks for the tag!

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doomstarmagician · 5 years

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Chaos could barely see through the war entity. He knew he was in his deepest and darkest study. The one that Silent can’t come in. The one that is even hard for doom to come in. The one that makes the war form stronger. They were sitting down in his Victorian era chair, a birthday present from doom and silent. The war entity was picking chips out of the arm rest when Chaos heard the door open. And only one person could be in the room with them.

@thesoulwithinthepuzzle

⊰ ✨ ⊱ –Please, Doomstar. Please, you have to be careful. she’d pleaded with him. The look in her eyes screamed desperation. Worry. Fear. All of which he, too, had felt.

Doomstar took in the dark circles under his aunt’s eyes, the evident, seeming frailness wracking her body as of late. The dark magic embedded deep within her flesh was taking its toll – and not a light one. She was tired, ill, yet even still Doomstar could see the glimmer of hope in her eyes. He smiled then, squeezing her hands in his own and offering a smile that, he hoped, radiated that same sentiment.

❝I will be. The stars are on my side, aunt Silent. I’ll be alright.❞

There was a line. Unseen and so very thin, but very much there all the same. Doomstar could tip toe it. He could dance with it. Hug it. Flirt with it. But never cross it. He contemplated just how he would remain on his side of the line – how was he to draw the demonic war entity out, without making his uncle believe the ugly words that sat at the tip of his tongue?

Just how low was Doomstar going to have to stoop to lure this ancient being into the trap he devised?

By now, the starry eyed magician stalked down the dark hallway leading to his uncle’s deepest study. As he walked, he felt the distinct shift in temperature. The deeper down he went, the colder it became. The shadows on the wall writhed and squirmed. Though he was the only one in the hallway, it felt as if eyes were on him from all directions. Such was the work of his bloodline’s most sinister magic at play.

As he approached the large, black oak door, he stopped just in front of it to collect himself. But it was then that he started to feel it.

This study was meant to amplify the power of the war entity – and subdue anything that wasn’t it. And Doomstar was no different in this regard. He could feel the warring powers within himself. On one side of his bloodline was the precious celestial magic wielded by the mother of his master. On the other side was the dark, foreboding, sinister magic that coursed through the veins of his master’s true father.

And right now, the stars were on the losing side of that war.

The celestial bodies that flooded his eyes struggled to remain in place. Instead, the vibrant, angry red hues that lay beneath were threatening to emerge. He could feel his body becoming colder. Numb. He clenched his fists in a hard attempt to subdue the claws threatening to grow. That familiar, dull throb that accompanied the splitting of his flesh and emergence of black horns made itself known as well.

Still, he fought the urge to unleash it, and fought harder to subdue it.

Doomstar shook himself and put his focus on getting into the study. It wasn’t a difficult thing; the door hadn’t been locked. Aside from his uncle, the only other person capable of entering was himself. As he opened the door, he was greeted by suffocating darkness and a chill to rival even that of freezing winter’s night.

Little by little, Doomstar was able to make out all that was in the room. A desk tipped onto its side, pages from books and shredded tomes scattered about, broken trinkets and knick knacks, dried red… blood… splattered along the walls.

A familiar chair, occupied by an unwanted guest.

Semi-starry eyes met the glowing red gaze across the room, but Doomstar made no move beyond the doorway. He knew that, at some point tonight, he was going to have to run and that this entity would grant him no quarter if it caught him.

❝Uncle. We need to speak.❞a neutral statement, neither demand nor question. Testing the waters.

Still, this entity made no move from where it was perched in the chair. Chips were still pulled from the arm rest. But Doomstar saw it then – a cheshire cat grin; a row of sharpened teeth that seemed unnaturally long.

“…Really now? You don’t knock, you don’t say hello, you don’t even ask how I’m doing? You barge in and address him as if he’s still here?” there was a hollow playfulness in the entity’s tone. One that Doomstar knew better than to fall for. It was going to try to toy with him, like a cat with a mouse.

❝If I wanted to address a failure, I’d have requested to speak to you instead.❞

Doomstar knew that wasn’t nearly enough to get the reaction he needed, but he did get a reaction all the same. He had enough time to suck in a single breath before the entity erupted into a fit of laughter, scattering inky black magic all around them.

“So you’ve a silver tongue. Good for you. Careful where you point it, lest it turn to lead.” it threatened, masking it, however, vaguely poetically. The entity stopped picking the chips out of the arm rest and stared at the intrusive magician.

“You could, however, save yourself Doomstar. It isn’t too late to–”

❝I don’t want what you have to offer. I lack nothing that you have. I’m here to get my uncle back, even if I have to dethrone you by force.❞

“And you think you can?” it hissed.

❝Why else would I be here?❞he countered, the stars in his eyes receding more and more the longer her remained here. He knew he was going to have to act faster. ❝You say that you can give me more power, that all I have to do is abandon my family and join you. But what do I gain from joining someone who couldn’t protect his own master? From someone who abandoned my master? From someone who left us for dead and never came home?❞

Time seemed to stop then, and so very slowly did he see a shift in the war entity before him. For a split second, Doomstar could see his uncle emerge. The way the entity’s eyes softened so very briefly, told Doomstar that he’d struck a nerve.

The entity shifted in the chair, uncrossing its legs and digging its claws further into the arm rest.

“Tell me, warrior of the night, who gave you this boldness? It wasn’t that half dead wretch upstairs. It was me. It was your bloodline. Your people. The very people you’re turning your back on by denying what you really are.” It spat, agitation rising in its voice.

❝I never denied what I was. But unlike you, I embraced all that I am. And that woman upstairs? She helped me temper my power. But you? You failed. You lost your war. They sealed you because of it. If you were anything like me, you wouldn’t be so desperate to subdue my uncle and pretend like you’re still relevant. So again, I ask – what do I have to gain from a failure who hasn’t realized his reign is long over?❞

In that moment, two things happened. The first, a set of horns pierced the flesh of Doomstar’s forehead as they emerged to take their rightful place. The second, a familiar voice rang out from the sword strapped to his back.

Kid, you’re going to want to get ready–

“As we speak, you are losing the battle to subdue who and what you are – AND STILL YOU DENY US!” The entity’s voice bellowed throughout the room. The shadows that crawled along the ground and the walls shot forward towards the younger magician. “Your own blood, the people who give your existence purpose. You deny all of that, for that Egyptian bitch upstairs who gives you false hope with hollow promises of a good life?”

Doomstar drew the sword and began inching back out of the doorway. He could feel pointed canines poking his bottom lip. ❝You focus solely on power, even at the cost of all else. I’ve denied nothing and no one. But if you make me pick… if you twist my arm… I would pick her, I would pick my family over you. Always.❞

It was one of those times where Doomstar wished the world would stop. That everything around him moved so slowly that he could comfortably escape. But this wasn’t the case tonight. The last thing Doomstar had uttered caused the dam to collapse and for his uncle’s war entity to snap.

With the confirmation that Doomstar had and would always refuse to join his side, everything around them began to crumble. Where the entity would have allowed the younger mage to join him, that had just been revoked. In the entity’s eyes, Doomstar was as good as dead. The younger mage had only hoped that the line hadn’t been crossed; that his uncle be keen enough to see through the ugliness and bitterness that flew from his nephew’s tongue.

He’d hoped the great goddess would hear his prayer.

“YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!” the entity roared and charged towards the celestial magician with inhuman speed.

❝–oh no–❞

Like a shooting star, Doomstar turned and ran as quickly as his legs would carry him. He sent a silent thank you up to the stars above that he was quick on his feet – but it wasn’t enough to outrun the entity that was hot on his heels.

Luckily, the further away from the study that they got, the more of Doomstar’s cosmic power returned. It was enough that he could tap into it and give himself a boost. Much of the chase was a fear-fueled blur. However, Doomstar dared to turn around once to check his distance – an action he and his uncle would regret later on.

He turned in time to catch a glimpse of the entity clawing along the wall towards him, and for one of the entity’s claws to make contact with Doomstar’s face.

It wouldn’t be until later that night that he felt the stinging of the slash on his forehead.

❝AUNT SILENT!! DO IT NOW!!❞he screamed as he reached the end of the hallway, in time for his aunt to put herself between him and the entity that lunged at them.

A blinding light filled the room, and ugly demonic screeching and screaming filled their ears. Her Silent Burning, from the sound of it, appeared to be working. And though Doomstar’s lungs felt as if they were on fire, he hadn’t a moment to spare. Rest would come later, but for now he had to help his aunt fortify the barrier that she’d cast to trap the entity inside.

This was only the beginning of a long night.

#[✨ - Breaths of Stardust | Enlightenment]#thesoulwithinthepuzzle #drabble

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