#terrible fucking day today

[itzcherrybonbon]

TW: Suicide mention, KOSA, venting and ranting.

I'm going to scream. I swear to fucking god.

Firstly, I find out about KOSA this morning and nearly went insane. Whoever thought about this goddamn project is wrong on so many levels. I hope they don't pass the bill this year. Actually, I hope this project gets thrown in the fiery dump where it belongs and never gets brought up again. I nearly lost it, and if it happens I'm gonna be miserable and in so much trouble.

The "genius" who came up with KOSA and the fuckers who actually support this pathetic idea that came from the pits of hell are genuinely insane and deserve to burn. I don't care if I sound rude, KOSA and the idiot who made it deserve all my massive hatred, anger and death threats. Because why are you taking away the only fucking thing I have in this world to cope with? Why are you taking away my privacy and my rights? Why are you taking away my chance to escape from the real world for a brief moment, why is my chance to talk to my friends being taken away?? If you really want to "represent" us, then give us back our freedom and LISTEN TO US. FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Clearly this wasn't put into much thought at all and you are toying around with our mental health, because the consequences for KOSA are going to be fatal. Not only are the kids in danger from their information being leaked to their parents (parents nowadays are terrible and abusive in general, and the internet is LITERALLY OUR SAFE SPACE), but this is going to increase suicide numbers. And if I don't keep my shit together I might end up joining that cursed number too, maybe you'll change your mind then. Nah because this is the only way you adults are ever gonna learn your goddamn mistakes! Because you never listen to us kids, you're always "oh-so superior and all-knowing and basically an adult"

This project will cause a lot of damage to the kids' mental health and you're basically going to witness a high decrease of the population. Ain't no way most of us are going to survive this if the bill gets passed. Ever thought about that??

I'm genuinely too upset about this. The thought of never fucking having privacy or talking to my friends again (WHILE HAVING IN MIND A FEW OF THEM ARE FUCKING SUICIDIAL AND I TALK THEM OUT OF IT) is tormenting enough.

Please, for the love of god, keep spreading awareness about this terrible issue. Do anything please let's just never let this happen.

Secondly, I am genuinely upset with Tumblr's new desktop page design or whatever. It gives me claustrophobia, it isn't spacious and neat anymore, instead it's a mess.

What does the Tumblr staff try to accomplish with this pathetic design? Because it's so hilarious./neg

Everybody hates it. There's no way they're gonna keep this up for long, stop taking our comfort space and turning it into something pathetic and unusable. Seriously. Stop giving us more stress when we're just trying to enjoy our own day and casually check the notifications and have fun talking to friends.

This new design? I hate it. It's terrible for my eyesight and it makes me want to quit because I swear to god, that's how you make me feel everytime pathetic, unnecessary changes are made. This isn't even Tumblr anymore, dear staff. You're slowly ruining it, you're ruining my home. Tumblr always was everybody's home, stop turning it into Twitter 2.0. Please. Respect the users' wishes and let this app be the way it used to be. People love it the way it is, get rid of this new design and bring back the old and neat desktop page design.

#cherry rambles #important! #ranting #venting #tw suicide mention #lots and lots of ranting #lots and lots of cursing and wishing people i hate would die #i'm sorry i'm just really stressed and tired #i can't handle this anymore #please god don't let KOSA ever happen #and i hope tumblr changes back to the old desktop design #this new one is an eyestrain. #i hate it #this is tormenting enough #terrible fucking day today #stop kosa #seriously stop it. i'm done with everything at this point.

[crabussy]

IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

#having a day ^_^ #I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more #people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon #I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online #please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating #I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind. #if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness #even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens #EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot #OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!! #hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past #since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold #listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes #BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!! #because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it #my wisdom. today I am so tired

[marcusagrippa]

Eat your past. Eat it and make it go away. Eat it and let it fester inside you. Eat it and let it dissolve in you, sustain you, slowly become a part of you until you cannot imagine a life without it. Eat your enemies, who are just as empty as you are. Eat your trauma until it rips you open from inside and your guts spill out onto the sand. Eat your brothers and watch them die with you. Swallow your love. Swallow your affection, choke it down, soured by time and the cold hands of evil men. The fruit of your labours is overripe and rotting, bruised to sweetness by beatings and heavy chains. You are a weapon, are you not? An animal - nothing more, nothing less. So act like one. Devour. Bite the hand that feeds because all you have ever known is rotten meat. Life tastes like poison, love even worse. 

Eat your lover before they can eat you. 

#pretentious sith lord word vomit what #couldn't focus in biology bc of this Stupid Fucking Red Man and thinking about how much i want to punt sidious directly into the sun #sorry irls for being cringe :( but the autism is too strong today #it demands a sacrifice in the form of terrible cliche pseudopoetry #should i tag this obimaul? idk idc #obimaul #maul #you motherfucker #one day i'll shut up about star wars cannibalism but that day is not today #jase writes

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it

#i could write essays about how capitalism ruined the internet. #i was actually talking to someone earlier today about how youtube was kind of effectively ruined by monetisation. #and they were raised in the soviet union and we had a bit of a talk about how art was better because it wasn't for profit. #the people who made art made it because they wanted to do it and because they loved it. #she said that communism was terrible for every aspect of life for her. people's lives under communism wasn't pretty. #but the art was better. and i feel like it's true for the internet – it was better when it was a free-for-all. #the companies didn't know how to exploit it yet and turn it into a neverending profit-driven hellscape. #people created content because they wanted to. because they wanted to make something silly to make people laugh. #not for profit. not for gain. not for numbers. not to further their career. #i miss the days of newgrounds and youtube before monetisation. #capitalism has soiled everything that's joyful and good in this world. #people should be able to share whatever they want. #people should be able to tell any story they want without the fear of being silenced by advertisers. #that's what made the internet so beautiful before. anyone could do anything and we all had equal footing. #but now we're victims of the algorithm. and it makes me sick. #i'm quitting my job in social media. i'm quitting it. it makes me too depressed. i have an existential crisis every freaking day. #every day i wake up and say "ah. this is the fucking hell we live in #i'm so sorry i feel so passionate about this. #social media is a black hole and it is actively destroying humanity. forget ai. social media is what's doing it. #i miss how beautiful the internet used to be. it should've been a tool for good. but it's corrupt and evil now. #sci speaks

[fivewholeminutes]

A Series of Small Offerings

PART ONE -7- Jaws

The whites of your eyes burn / From across the room

Brain went "blue fire and stained glass from the first verse" and I had to work with that. But hey, I do like the result!!!

#one day i will learn to take photos that will enhance the art #but today is not that day #pros of terrible edits i don't have to think about a signature/watermark #drawing stained glass was a fun experience #a series of small offerings #sleep token #sleep token fanart #alex vs the mortifying ordeal of having her art perceived #ah fuck now i see some cat hair got into the picture

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs #to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her #so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their #master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was #awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives. #everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor. #she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest #sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her. #and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism #y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit #was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then #everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite #her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for #them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor #bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired #i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do? #unrelated

[mrpsychokiller]

in the last two days or so i was able to actually properly take my meds at night, sleep, and wake up fully rested in the morning, had actual filling meals, and i just did those simple exercises in the video i reblogged and they werent super hard or time consuming like daily exercises usually are for me. so now.. im feeling actually pretty optimistic? maybe i can make my life a little healthier. thatd be pretty nice

#🧃 #i took a shower this morning and im going to get my nails done in a couple hours #i also hope to finish this commission ive been procrastinating on today and then i can take some more #i also saw a while ago a guy talking about how he set himself to read 10 book pages a day and ended up actually reading a bunch of books #which sounds doable enough and i could finally read all this stuff ive been putting off #idk. my life sucks so bad and ive been feeling so terrible but i guess that doesnt mean i cant try to make it a little better #and i can have goals to seek and achieve even if currently my goals are ''remember to shower'' and ''sleep better'' #i hope i can keep this idea going i dont want to give up and fuck it all up again

[tomfrogisblue]

So, I only watched a little bit of qsmp today.

Was it a bad day to miss lore?

#I AM FUMING I JUST LOGGED INTO MY LIL ONLINE GOOFY PLACES AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE #POV ME TRYNA PIECE TOGETHER WHAT EVEN HAPPENED COZ I *DO NOT* HAVE TIME TODAY TO WATCH VODS #Like my timeline is spoonfeeding me trauma rn #its like when you miss school for one day and thirty assignments a fight and a concert happened #qsmp #qsmp lore #qsmp forever #all i know is forever looks so fucking cool and qforever has done something so fucking terrible #dont mind me while i scotch tape what happened today in my brain

[karinyosa]

it my bday today :]

#me.txt #OKAY WAIT IM WRONG ITS TOMORROW DKBSKDJSOXHEI I THOUGHT TODAY WAS THE FIRST #i cant believe im gonna be 21 its so fucked up #EAIT ITS ON THE FIRST THERE ARE 31 DAYS IN JANUARY LMFAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #oh my god. guys im sorry im lile genuinely terrible with dates and birthdays including my own

[trans-axolotl]

having the worst fucking night and i need to scream + i want to fight someone so bad rn i need to just like. get this out of my system jesus christ

#personal #vent #had an actually terrible day at work. im so stressed i cannot sit still #so much shit has happened today i can't even get into it! fuck my suprevisor so much #i'm so fucking mad. #literally i need to just. aaaaaaaaa

[ratthumbsup]

in many ways starting a new job is the it's so over/we're so back meme.

#it was the scariest thing in the entire world. and then i was like ohhh okay i get it. #and now it's SCARY again 😧 #i'm doing things by myself and talking in meetings now but what if i'm doing a terrible awful job and everyone thinks i'm stupid.... #i have to talk in meetings with really high level scary people who are IMPOSSIBLE to read 😭 #and i definitely could've done a BETTER job today. augh #trying hard not to stress about it but :( #i'm a month and one day in #and i think i'm just experiencing what it is to have a new job. but i don't like it. ESPECIALLY because i've been burned so many times 😭 #but it's so fucked i'm not as competent and comfortable one month into this job as i was 2 years into my last job. you know. #like i'm sure it'll get easier in many ways. but 👎 #personal

[xhanisai]

.

#Delete later #Don't read this if you're a fan of kagami cos today I'm feeling livid about her behaviour and actions in s5 #Everything that salters claimed alya would be is exactly what kagami was #I feel like the reason I'm so pissed is cos I've had bitches do that to me in my school days too #Marinette gave her so much and this is what she got in return #She had her important secrets told to the person who helped the enemy and whose morals didn't align with hers #She made this girl a fucking superhero and brought her into her friendship group #AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GOT IN RETURN LOL #And the worst thing for me is that I don't see anyone talking about it and being like #Uwu kagami is such a helpless lonely girl uwu #FUCK HER #Don't get me started with the way she bitched at adrien for not standing up to gabriel at the end of s4 #She was terrible to both adrinette!!! #Alya and nino deserve a better fanbase #Adrinette deserves a better fanbase #If you're a fan of kagami that's completely fine and you're well within your rights to love her no matter what #But I will forever be pissed at her for this so don't expect any fanart or fics about her from me #I won't draw or write her unless she's needed for a plot or whatever #And don't worry I'm not gonna write salt about her or anything like that #And any of my work that involves her will stay in a positive or neutral light because we don't need more negativity in this fandom #I know this is a long rant but I'm just so annoyed #It just hits close to home for me #Cos I've been in Marinette's position #Lol

[agapintheskin]

If this keeps on going on I'm gonna block Jeff Satur on every site the fucking audacity of ths man to just exist like that for everyone to see who allowed him i-

#jeff satur #today was a terrible fucking day but at least i got to look at men who shouldn't realistically exist in the way they do

[soldier-poet-king]

St Thereses little way and small kindnesses shape the world and make it go round etc etc etc

Yes that is ALL true and I don't discount it but ALSO have you considered I ALSO want the Big Grand Kindnesses and Great Works and Gestures

Not just for the drama. Not for the recognition, I generally hate to be noticed. But for the competency. The satisfaction. The possibility that I CAN. Surely there is this ambition and drive for a reason. Surely I am incredibly hungry and yet have no concrete selfish tangible dreams, just a Grand Desire for The Good in some great manifestation, surely for a reason. A meaning. A purpose.

I want it. More than comfort and kindness and love I want this. The deepest hunger of my existence. The reason for my existence.

#franposting #actively chewing and biting at work today #and its only a Monday #oh boy. oh boy #is this maybe just a manifestation of a need for control #has every existentialist prior also sought this desperately #it is less the despair and more of the hunger #of knowing it is there. beyond my reach or capability but not beyond my desire or mind #it is a terrible thing #sometimes i think it better to have been ignorant of it. to be content with the small and the simple and the good #and not know or want for more #those are better people. tbh. they can do more good than all my navel gazing pretensions can #and yet. and yet #this is why i cant be left alone to get bored #ive been out of school for only a year without a concrete end goal #and i am already redesigning the world in my ambition and my benevolent tyranny #actually. yknow what. fuck it. i finally understand galadriels temptation. #or at least. in part #fuck. OHHHH journal we're really init now #god forbid one day anyone ever reads these things. bitch is a lunatic. #shoutout to all the homies who wouldve been diagnosed with female hysteria

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

.

#I know I'm likely catastrophizing and also that a day or two won't make a difference #But I noticed a lump a month or two ago and then dismissed it as not a problem #I cannot remember why I did this. Like did it go away? Did I forget? #Either way I noticed it again today. Spent twenty minutes trying to reach my doctor's office #Before I was fully losing my mind (it's terrible on a good day to keep hearing 'we have a patient portal!' and 'we do urgent care on week!' #Once a minute.) And had to hang up and roll into work 30 minutes late #Just tried to call them again and they are at lunch #Like!! I just want an appointment and for someone to tell me it's not cancer or do a biopsy if it is #Because the internet suggests it could very well be cancer!!!! #And I'm limited on what else it could be based on symptoms so like. I'd like to speak to a fucking doctor #So I can know for sure #Either way I'm starting to investigate a new practice because this one has reassigned me three times in 1 year #So I want to try to find a place that is more stable and doesn't have 20+ minute wait times to speak to a human #Update that I called again and had to hang up after 20 minutes waiting for someone to answer #If the bridge weren't an issue I would show up in person #Anyways I'm now hoping to get through at another place and switch PCPs because this is unacceptable #Even the 'are you sick and need to get in today' option had a 10+ minute wait #Why even have a phone

[curiosity-killed]

My sister has this thing where she like…loathes my childhood self ?? which. Feels a little unhinged. but leads to things like her being like “omg you STOLE so many baby dolls and because I was a Good and Rule Abiding Child, I was APPALLED and you were TOTALLY REMORSELESS” and I was like. 1 yr old when this happened.

#literally in this case bc we just had this convo over vacation #and while my sister was going on about what a terrible lawless child I was I asked my mom #and she was like yeah you were like 1 maybe 2 #which idk aren’t exactly ages known for having a developed moral code or understanding of ours/not ours #she also did this years ago #the day she moved into her new house (& bear in mind I had been helping her prep/sell/move for weeks) #she told her entire assembled friend group how annoying/terrible I was growing up #when like. she left for college when I was 12 #so she LITERALLY only lived with me when I was a /child/ child #personal #idk why I’m thinking abt this today #like it is a little hurtful but mostly like. it’s really fucking weird???? #I’m sure I could be annoying as a child (that is human nature) #but like literally everyone else who’s ever felt the need to comment has been like ‘’you were so sweet and gregarious and then also had a #horrifying temper. but you very very sweet 🥺’’