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prettyyoungandbored · 4 years

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You and I {DouglasBooth! Nikki Sixx} Chapter Twenty-Five

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x Reader

Summary: There was time when all Y/N and Nikki had were themselves and Nikki’s dreams of creating the next great band. What happens when the dream comes alive?

Taglist: @gothpanda @itsharleyalb @fearless2tobeme @toadspleenn @tiktokviralsensation @fandomshit6000 @cosmicsskiess @tashy-bear @versaceismehoe @thissongitsaboutyou @prettysureimgayxo @divaanya @yoinks-i-dont-feel-so-good @evrsncnewyork @technicallyvirtualmilkshake @keepcalm-and-beyou @itsametaphorbriansblog @tarahell @scarecrowmax @queen-introvert @toadspleen @hi-my-name-is-riley @okj232 @tayrae515 @keepcalm-and-beyou @bella-0104-123 @kickstartmyheartmc @danknena @gerardwayisbae127 @emmygremlinturtle @marvelismylifffe @twistnet @youtubelover027 @lululovesgwtw @iluvmesomemarvelndc @shamelessobsessions @lovesick-heart0 @filledwithanxietyandnuggets @walking-disgrace @feminismercury @lauraurietaylor @orangedeath @oh-well1 @teller258316 @misha-magixx @savanna-1 @samanthadegaro @k–i–a @allmyheart2 @emmaelizabeth2014 @freddiessmallnipples @obsessivesky @myshakespeareandarling @kitten-overdose @waywardprincess666 @studyingthemind @valentines-in-london @anotherhopefulgirl @dark-princess99 @tryingnottocutyou-k @littlelunaticfringe @knockemdeadgirl @xrosegoldwolfx @brooklynbetty @lovesick-heart0 @kellysimagines @lauravic @sharon6713 @6trash6queen6 @shawnsstxtches @crystalbaby12 @littlelunaticfringe @helenaellie @fuckyeah-motleycrue @motleys-girl @hannahmmarie2016 @babygal-babygal @la-sorciere-fleur @thekidbakerinthetardis @natalielivesformusic @unknownoblivion @d34d-0n-th3-1ns1d3 @kawennote09 @leatherandheels @kayladurin @jelitka @mygxzita @universal-scorpio @wonderwoman292 @unknownoblivion @falcon-arrows@glitter-rian @okiegirl24@acid-flowers @anyasthoughts @haileynicoleseavey17 @hailey-the-heathen @sharon67136 @jeffreydeanmorgan1 @livingmybestfictionallife @nowisours-nowisforever @imagines-4-fangirls @sinningsixx @kingniazx @kaitieskidmore1 @nikki-sixx-is-daddy

A/N: Read the note at the end.

Previous chapter

Y/N sat in the hospital bed staring at the wall in front of her. Nikki sat beside her holding one of her hands in his. He was thankful not only for Dr. Kelly’s calm and reassuring demeanor, but that she was able to get Y/N an epidural so that Y/N went from screaming and cursing everyone out to basically buddha.

“You know I’m not actually going to have your balls snipped, right?” she said, turning to him.

Nikki grinned, holding back laughter. “I do, yeah.”

She drew a long sigh. “So you actually got the band back together?”

“Yeah, I did.” He pulled his lips back. “I wasn’t ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“To lose the guys for good, to say good bye to Mötley Crüe.”

Y/N smiled as she pulled her hand back to stroke his face. “Well, I’m really happy you guys are back together, even if it’s on the day our child is born.”

“And I’m sorry I took longer than I said I would.”

She waved her hand. “It is what it is.”

“But you’re gonna hold it-.”

“Oh, I’m gonna hold it against you for as long as you live.” Y/N sighed as her head fell back against the pillow. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.”

“You don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t have to.” He held her hands in his. “There’s not a single doubt in my mind you can give birth and be best the goddamn mother to our child. You moved to Los Angeles by yourself. You lived in a shitty neighborhood. You lived with four of the most fucked up individuals in a cramped apartment and you took care of each of them. You worked and toured with a rock band. Fuck, you went on tour with Ozzy fucking Osborne.You wrote songs for bands and artists. You dealt with my drug habits. You have done and been through so many things you were not prepared for and look where it got you.”

One of his hands let go of hers to stroke her hair. “Besides, I’m going to be with you every step of the way. You and I are a team. Always have been and always will be.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears as she pursed her lips back. “Jesus Christ, Nikki,” she laughed, wiping her tears. She leaned over and gently pecked his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The sound of the door opening caused the couple to jump, believing a doctor or nurse would be hurrying in to get her started on pushing.

Instead, Tommy waltzed right in with Vince and Mick not too far behind. Tommy lowered the surgeon’s mask, revealing his devilish grin.

“Alright, Mrs. Sixx, you ready to push?” Tommy greeted in a deep, phony voice.

Y/N blinked. “Let me guess, you’re the one they call Doctor Feel Good?”

“I could be.”

She rolled her eyes. “Remind me to never ask you to babysit.”

Tommy snapped his fingers. “Well there goes my gift to you guys.”

Just then, the nurse poked her head in giving a warm smile. “How are you guys doing in here? Everything ok?”

“We’re doing ok,” Y/N answered.

Tommy stared at the blonde, lust in his eyes. “You’re their nurse, huh?”

Y/N threw her hands up as Nikki watched amusingly. The nurse blushed, desperately trying to hide her smile.

“I’ll check in on you guys later,” she said, closing the door.

Once she was gone, Tommy whistled. “I’d like her to be my nurse.”

He then made his way toward the door. “I’ll be back to check on you guys later.”

The second he closed the door, Y/N turned to Nikki. “Well there goes our nurse.”

“You doing ok?” Mick asked.

“The epidural helps,” Y/N smiled. “I’m glad you guys are back together again. I think the world could use some more Mötley Crüe.”

Mick raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about that.”

Just then, Vince stepped up. “I do. I think the world is ready.”

“And what about you?” Y/N asked, tilting her head. “Are you ready?”

Vince nodded when he realized something. “I actually have a present for the kid.”

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a stuffed brown bunny with a yellow bow around its neck. Y/N’s heart melted as she accepted his gift. “Oh Vince.”

“Skylar really loved her bunny,” Vince choked. “I figured your little one will too.”

Y/N smiled as she took Vince’s hand. “I love it. Thank you.”

Nikki stood up and patted Vince’s shoulder. “We appreciate it, man. It’s perfect.”

Vince smiled, trying to fight back the tears that came with the memory of his little girl. “It’s not a problem.”

Mick sighed. “Well, we’ll leave you guys to it. We can’t meet the little rugrat.”

He motioned for him and Vince to head out as Nikki and Y/N watched them walk out the door. Once they left, Y/N put the bunny on the table next to her.

“They know the baby is coming on tour, right?” Y/N asked.

“Let’s hold off on telling them.”

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A few hours later, just after midnight, as Y/N and Nikki watched a rerun of “The Twilight Zone” on the television, Y/N sat up and whimpered and clutched her belly. Nikki grabbed the call button, pushing it over and over until the nurses came in followed by Dr. Kelly.

“It’s time, Y/N,” Dr. Kelly said. “You ready?”

Y/N looked to Nikki, who gave her a reassuring smile. She nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Minutes later, beads of sweet trickled down her face as she pushed. Her hand squeezed Nikki’s, as she closed her eyes tightly, pushing harder.

“You’ve got this, Y/N,” Dr. Kelly assured. “Keep pushing.

Y/N gave one last push before crying out, “I can’t do this!”

“Hey, hey, hey look at me,” Nikki said. Y/N turned to him, her eyes filled to the brim with tears. “Remember what I told you? You can do this. I know you can.”

She nodded and closed her eyes, pushing once again. No matter how much she wanted to give up, no matter how much pain she was in, she pushed and pushed and pushed until she heard the sweetest sound.

Their baby was crying.

Nikki kissedY/N. “I am so proud of you.”

Dr. Kelly gently cradled the baby, lifting it up. “Congrats Mom and Dad, it’s a girl.”

“Oh my god,” Y/N whimpered as tears fell down her face.

Nikki squeezed her hand, unable to fight back tears.

Dr. Kelly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby to Y/N. Y/N cradled the her in her arms as the baby wailed and wailed.

“She’s beautiful,” Dr. Kelly marveled. “Congrats you two.”

“She really is,” Nikki agreed, his thumb stroking his daughter’s head.

When Y/N handed the baby to the nurse so the nurse could measure her, Y/N grabbed Nikki’s hand.

“We really did it,” she said.

He nodded. “I told you you could do it. Never doubted it for a second.”

An hour later, they finally had the baby and the room to themselves. Nikki laid beside Y/N in the bed as Y/N cradled their newborn daughter who was fast asleep.

“She’s perfect,” she whispered.

“She really is,” he agreed as he stroked his daughter’s head. “What are we thinking for in terms of names?”

Y/N lifted her head up. “I was thinking Odette. It was my grandmother’s name and I always thought it was such a beautiful name.”

“Odette Sixx,” Nikki said aloud, thinking about it. He smiled. “It’s perfect.”

Just then, the blonde nurse from earlier entered the room with two styrofoam cups and a styrofoam to-go box.

“One of your friends from earlier stopped by to give you this,” she said putting it on the tray beside Y/N. She then pulled out a note from her pocket and handed it to Y/N who handed it to Nikki.

Nikki opened it and read it aloud.

“ ‘Your friends stopped by for some food and told me about the baby. Figured you two would want your usual late night snack - two Cokes and some buttered white toast. Glad things worked out for you guys. Stop by sometime with the baby. Love, Dottie.’”

Y/N smiled. “Oh how sweet of her.”

“Right on time too,” Nikki said. “I’m starving.”

The nurse put the tray in front of her and Nikki. Y/N set the baby down in the hospital bassinet right beside the bed as the baby continued to sleep.

Both Y/N and Nikki began digging in to their toast.

“I forgot how good Donny’s bread was,” Nikki said taking a sip of his Coke.

“This was heaven for us back in the day,” Y/N added, her mouth filled with food. “We’d go to one of your shows and then go to Donny’s and get this. Always the perfect way to end the night.” She eyed Nikki. “And this is the perfect way to end a perfect night.”

She leaned her head on Nikki’s shoulder as he kissed the top of her head.

__________________________________________________________________

When Y/N fell asleep, Nikki held his daughter in his arms as he looked out the window. He pointed to Donny’s off in the distance.

“That’s where I met your mom,” he whispered to his baby girl. “First time I saw her I couldn’t look away...and neither could she. She’ll tell you she played it off well, but that’s not true.”

Nikki’s went up from Odette to the view of the city. “She loved me when I had nothing, loved me when no one else did. Even we had nothing, I always had her...and I always will.”

His eyes then fell to the familiar telephone pole. He swallowed hard, remembering the time he used it to call his father only to be rejected. He glanced down at Odette.

“You will always be loved,” he told her, softly choking up. “I will always love you, no matter what. When you need me the most, I’ll be there. I promise you.”

He had no idea, but Y/N had heard his declaration to his daughter and smiled to herself.

_____________________________________________________________________

*Two Years Later*

“Five minutes, Sixx!”

“Thanks,” Sixx called out to the stagehand on the other side of the door. He turned to Odette who was playing with her favorite stuffed bunny in her lap. “Time to go to your, Mom.”

Y/N held out her arms as Nikki handed Odette over to her. “You have the headphones, right?”

“I do,” Y/N sighed. She then winced, placing her hand on her pregnant stomach.

“Everything alright?” Nikki asked, placing his hand instinctively over her stomach.

“Yeah, just your son is kicking me. Why he does this every time you’re about to go on stage is beyond me.”

He chuckled. “I think he’s gonna be a musician.”

“God help us if that’s the case.”

Nikki leaned down to Odette. “Give Daddy a good luck kiss?”

Odette giggled as Nikki peppered her with tiny kisses. He then went up to Y/N and kissed her. “I’ll see you out there?”

“Right by the stage,” Y/N assured.

He gave her one last peck. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

He then walked out as Y/N put Odette on the makeup table and put the headphones on the baby.

“You ready to go?” she asked.

The baby chortled, smiling widely. Y/N picked her up and held in her arms as she headed out.

She and Odette stood by the wing of the stage. The crowd roared in applause as the lights hit on the boys and the introduction to “Shout at the Devil” began to play.

Odette reached out to her daddy, smiling. Nikki looked over and gave her a little wave.

Most babies wouldn’t be able to handle the music, but Odette Sixx was not most babies. She loved it, smiling at her dad and their friends as they played. Y/N smiled, watching her daughter have the time of her life.

She also loved how her soon-to-be son also kicked the second he heard the music play.

________________________________________________________________

*2015*

“Do you think the message within songs you wrote all those years ago still hold up today?” the female reporter asked.

Y/N nodded her head as she took a swig of her water. “I’d like to think so. I mean, there will always be a million different ways to talk about love or heartbreak or anger. The wording of it just may be different, that’s all.”

Y/N was thrilled. 30 years after her disastrous Rolling Stone Magazine interview, a reporter with the magazine wanted to do a redo. So far, the reporter was asking all the questions Y/N wished she’d been asked.

“Mom, you’ve gotta come out here!” Odette exclaimed.

Y/N sent an apologetic look to the reporter. “Give me one sec.” She then turned to her 20-year-daughter. “Are you and or your brother hurt?”

“No.”

“Is your dad hurt?”

“No but he needs you right now!”

“He’s in the middle of performing. What does he need?”

“It’s an emergency!”

“Can’t the stagehands-.”

“He needs you, Mom!”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “Excuse me one second.”

“Actually you should come with us,” Odette told the reporter.

“Odette-.”

“Just come on! Hurry!”

Y/N followed her daughter through the hallway and to the backstage area. The reporter followed close behind.

“I apologize for the interruption,” Y/N said, looking over her shoulder. “Do you have kids?”

“Not at the moment.”

“They get less cuter when they get older.”

Odette whipped her head. “I beg to differ. Ryland and I are still pretty damn cute.”

“Language!” Y/N snapped. She turned to the reporter again. “Like I said, they’re less cute when they’re older.”

The reporter chuckled as Odette rolled her eyes.

The cheers of the packed crowd got louder and louder as Odette brought Y/N to the wing area.

“So tonight is a very special night,” Vince said to the crowd. “It’s our good friend, Y/N’s birthday.”

Y/N rolled her eyes as the crowd roared in applause. Vince motioned to Nikki. “Bring your wife out here, man.”

Odette pushed Y/N to Nikki, who extended a hand out for his wife. The crowd cheered loudly as Y/N got on stage. Her stomach twisted into knots, face turning red as Nikki kept one arm around her waist. She kept her eyes on him afraid to look at the crowd.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered to him.

“You’ll see,” he said, pecking her cheek.

“Let’s all sing her ‘Happy Birthday’, ok?” Vince told the crowd. “One, two, three..”

As Vince, Mick, Tommy, Nikki, and the crowd sang ‘Happy Birthday’, Odette wheeled out a large cake with ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N’ written on it.

Y/N’s face turned every shade of red as Nikki kissed her cheek. Once the crowd finished singing, Y/N kissed Nikki, hugged her daughter, and blew out the candles. The crowd cheered.

“While that was a great surprise,” Nikki said into the mic, “we do have one more surprise for you.” He turned to the crowd. “This next song was written by my lovely wife years and years ago. We told her to go get us breakfast because we had been in the studio all night and instead, she came back with this amazing song. Here to help us play it tonight, ladies and gentleman put your hands together for my son, Ryland!”

Ryland walked on the stage with his guitar, giving the crowd a wave. He gave Y/N a side hug. Y/N kissed the top of her son’s head as Nikki gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“You ready?” Vince asked.

Ryland nodded.

“One, two, three...”

The 18-year-old then began to play the opening guitar solo to “Shout at the Devil”, causing Y/N’s heart to drop to her stomach. She slapped her hand on her mouth, proud tears escaping her eyes.

The rest of the band joined as Vince handed Ryland the mic, Ryland belting out the first verse.

He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night He's the blood stain on the stage He's the tear in your eye Been tempted by his lie He's the knife in your back, he's rage He's the razor to the knife Oh, lonely is our lives My head's spinning 'round and 'round But in the seasons of wither We'll stand and deliver Be strong and laugh and

The band, the crowd, Odette, and Y/N joined in to scream “SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!”

Once the song was over and the crowd erupted in thunderous applause, Y/N grabbed Ryland and hugged him tightly before going over to Nikki.

“Happy Birthday, babe,” he mumbled.

She caressed his face and kissed him deeply as his hands fell to her waist.

They’d come a long way from those days on the sunset strip, but not a second went by where neither Y/N nor Nikki weren’t grateful for them. Nikki had gotten the family he’d always wanted and Y/N had gotten the life she’d dreamed of and more.

And if it were to all come crashing down, it would still be ok. Nikki and Y/N had each other and at the end of the day, that’s all that mattered.

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From the bottom of my stupid heart, thank you for every like, reblog, comment, and message. I started this story over a year ago during a really difficult time in my life and it’s because of this story I met so many amazing people. It is because of your love and friendship that I am where I am today and I owe so much to you.

The series isn’t over yet. I will still do side shots of Y/N and Nikki so if you have requests, send them my away.

Thank you again. I love you all.

#nikki sixx x reader #douglasbooth!nikki sixx x reader #the dirt fanfiction #the dirt fanfic #the dirt imagine #motley crue fanfiction #douglas booth fanfic #douglas booth x reader #tommy lee #vince neil #mick mars #motley crue #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx fanfic #nikki sixx fanfiction

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

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Love and Leather /part eighty one/

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: To the anon that said Vanity is a sloppy, one dimensional character in my inbox the other day, you can eat a bag of dicks and choke :) Enjoy!

Warnings: language, dash of angst

Taglist: @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques-deactivated20, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy @thanks2pete, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @youretheonlyonewhomakesme, @xxisxxisxxis, @dogmom2014, @cruesixxlover1991, @xpoisonousrosesx, @cranberrirolls, @m0rnlngstar, @love-struck-aries, @findingmyths, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014 @motleycrueprincess, @redlipscrystalskies14, @samanthadegaro, @oskea93, @idkmanhereisshitilike, @idumpyourgrass, @makaelahdelvalle, @brideofdraculana, @patheticgay69

~January 26th, 1996~

Our heads turned when the door opened up and in cane our new therapist, "Someone move over to the chair please." She stated as I got up, Nikki's hand falling off my lap. I sat in the deep blue chair adjacent to the couch Nikki was on.

"I am Dr. Crystal Peterson." She smiled, pearly white teeth showing through a plum red shade of lipstick as she stuck out her hand for me to shake.

"Vanity."

"Nikki."

She nodded as she put a notepad and a folder down on the table. She put on a pair of glasses that were connected to a beaded necklace, "So, tell me a little about yourself Nikki."

He glanced at me for a second before turning back to Crystal, "Uh...okay-" he cleared his throat with a cough, "Um, I'm in a band. I'm from San Jose but I moved around a lot before I ended up here in San Jose. I play bass in my band and write songs. I like photography um....yeah. That's it." Nikki scratched the top of his head awkwardly.

"Vanity?"

I rolled my eyes, "I was born and raised in Texas to a wealthy family. Moved to LA when I was in my twenties. I work at a diner as hostess. I like shopping and traveling. I have a daughter-"

"We, we have a daughter." Nikki butted in.

"Sorry, we have a daughter. She'll be six in May and her name is Arianna."

Crystal nodded, "Vanity, can you tell me something about Nikki? Anything."

"Um...I don't know-"

"You don't know anything about him?" She cut me off as I stared at her.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. Um, Nikki he uh...he collects knifes and guns?"

"Interesting hobby."

Nikki shrugged, "They're cool."

"Nikki? Can you tell me something about Vanity? Anything you want as well."

Nikki chuckled to himself, "She has my bands name tattooed on her ass cheek."

I glared and rolled my eyes, "Nikki, that's private."

"We're in therapy Van. Relax. Have some fun." Nikki retorted as he reached for his water to take a sip.

"Your paperwork says that you two are not married, but we're engaged and the span of you relationship has lasted ten years give or take? That correct?"

"Off and on." I shrugged, "But really, our relationship didn't start until he got sober. And we were only together for a year and engaged for like eight months."

"But have known each other for around ten? Yes?" We nodded.

"Okay, well let's get to work. "So I see on the checklist uh.....there's quite a few checked off: improving communication, resolving conflicts and disagreements, overcoming adultery, to understand one another better, reducing tension, learning "good" ways to fight, and to stop hurting each other. That's half the list and more than what I've seen in a while."

Awesome.

"Vanity, can you describe your fights with Nikki? Give me all the gory details, it's okay."

I nodded, "Um, it just depends what we're fighting about. Sometimes we just bicker all day over nothing. Other times we are in each other's faces screaming and yelling. Just depends."

"Can you give me an example of bickering and then the latter?"

"Okay, like for example we'll go back and forth about who has to pick up Arianna after school. We'll use snarky comments, uh poke fun at one another. I don't really count our bickering as fighting. I think it's fun."

I knew that was the wrong thing to say by the way Crystal tilted her head, "I mean-I mean it's entertaining. I know it shouldn't be but it is. It's just us."

Crystal looked over at Nikki who sat up a bit taller, "Do you count the bickering as fighting?"

Nikki shook his head, "No, no I don't. I think uh it's normal for us? Like Van said, it's entertaining. Yeah, she's annoying when she does it but it's whatever. It's kinda like our way of communicating.."

"You're annoying too." I blurted out as she put her hand up to silence us.

"Back to you Vanity, describe the actual fighting then."

I chuckled, "Yeah, it's bad. Really bad. Screaming, yelling, name calling. We're both red in the face. It usually takes one of us leaving for a little bit to simmer down."

"Does it get violent?"

I looked at Nikki, "Um...we don't hit each other. Well, I- describe violent please."

"If I have to describe it that lets me believe yes, your fights do get violent." Crystal pointed out as I sighed.

"Sometimes we shove one another. Or I um slap him across the face but he never hits me. Nikki wouldn't ever do that to me. Um...I suffer from severe anger issues and sometimes I throw things. Sometimes at him, sometimes at the wall behind him. He has punched walls and doors before. We sometimes also have to be pulled apart physically." I explained, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.

"Nikki, do you agree with what Vanity's saying?"

Nikki nodded, rolling his neck "Yeah. I agree. We do get bad at times. Sometimes our fights just get so out of hand neither of us know how to bring it back down to a good level. Like uh, sometimes she'll try to get the last word in but when I'm worked up like that I just can't let her have it. So when she tries to walk away from me, I grab her and pull her back in."

It was quiet for a second, the only sound being the pen Crystal was writing with on the notepad. Nikki and I looked at everything but each other.

"Would you say Vanity listens to you Nikki?"

He laughs, "Fuck no she doesn't." I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head, "I ask her to do something and she doesn't do it. I ask her not to do something and she keeps doing it."

"That is not true at all!" I laughed at him, "I do too listen to you!"

"Well Vanity, you have to understand this how Nikki feels. You have to consider his feelings as well. Nikki, can you please explain to Vanity how you think she doesn't listen?"

"Gladly-" Nikki glared proudly, "For example, shopping. I ask you not to spend a lot of money-"

"Oh for fucks sake. It's my money. My families money. It's my bank account and your name is nowhere on it so fuck off. And If I want to rack up a three thousand dollar shopping bill then I gladly will." I quickly interrupted, jumping down his throat as he glared at me.

"Anyways, shopping. She spends an outrageous amount of money all the time and never thinks responsibly with her money. That's what it really boils down too. She doesn't think about the future or plan for a rainy day. Granted, she thinks she doesn't need to plan because she has money and that it's always going to be there because it won't. You never know Vanity, the company can go belly up one day and bye bye trust funds."

"And that's my problem to worry about not yours-"

"...and who do you think will be taking care of you?"

I scoffed, "I do not need you to take care of me! I'm not some fucking child, Nikki! You always treat me like I'm clueless and so naive and I'm not! I have a brain and I can think for myself! And figure things out! I have never needed you to take care of me!"

Dr. Crystal cleared her throat to speak up, "I think Nikki might feel pressure due to society to take care of you. Let's strip away everything and get down to the core of it. He is a man and a man provides for everything-"

"Oh cut the sexist crap. It's not about that. It's about him wanting to control what I do! He never lets me do anything!"

"Never let you do anything? Jesus fucking Christ V. You act like I'm some fucking dictator and I'm not. When I got sober, you still drank. I never threw a fit. Hell, I encouraged it because I didn't want to be that guy. You go to work and have a job. If I wanted to be an asshole I would tell you 'No, You're gonna stay home and raise Arianna.' You go out with Clementine and go to the bar and get drinks wearing a skirt that when you bend over, your ass shows. If I wanted to be a controlling piece of shit I wouldn't let you step foot out of the house like that. The clothes you wear, the things you like to do, the way you do your make up, dyeing your hair. If I had a problem with it I would tell you, but I don't V. I want you to be your own person. I don't give a fuck what you do as long as you stay safe and come back to Arianna."

I stared at Nikki, sighing. I was starting to feel like I was the fucking psycho. Not because he was making it seem that way, but because he made everything make sense to me. Nikki, truly does let me do whatever the fuck I want and never throws a fit unless it is harmful to me.

"Any words on what he just said, Vanity?" Crystal questioned as I shook my head and looked down at the carpet.

"So, I see money is a stressful discussion for you two?"

I felt Nikki look at me, waiting for me to speak up but I didn't, "I-I don't know. We do argue about it sometimes. Not because we don't have it, but because we do. We have an abundance of money we don't know what to do with. From the band, from her families oil company. We're privileged to have it."

"Do you two have a joint checking account?" Crystal questioned and we both shook our heads telling her no, "So why are you worried about money you don't even get to touch, Nikki?"

"Cause Vanity doesn't recognize the value of a dollar."

"Sorry I wasn't fucking poor as a kid." I rolled my eyes, "It's not my fault I was born into the family I have. I know how lucky I am to have it and I do recognize the value of a dollar, ten dollars, hundred dollars, thousand, million, billion. You should be happy we can give Arianna this life Nikki! Instead of struggling like the rest of the world."

Nikki laughed, "Oh yeah, cause having a self centered, snobby, silver spooned brat is so much better."

"Can we take a break please?" I looked at Crystal and she nodded. I quickly got up and left the therapy room. I headed down the hallway to the bathroom to take a breather. I closed the door, locking it as I stepped up to the mirror.

"Pull it together, Vanity." I mumbled to myself, clutching my chest as I felt a heavy feeling in it. It was crushing. I splashed some water on my face and took a few deep breaths. I was starting to get worked up, and if I could and I wouldn't get in trouble id probably jump on Nikki and strangle him. I sighed when someone knocked on the door, "Just a minute!"

"It's me, V..."

I sighed and went over to the door, unlocking it and opening it up just a tad, "What?" I looked at him, the same tired expression mirroring on his face.

"Are you okay?"

"No Nikki! I am not okay." I shouted quietly, opening the door more so I could get out, "Let's just hurry up and get this over for today."

We were back in the office, sitting in our seats. I had a handful of M&Ms and cup of water to calm me down.

"So, can we talk about your twos sex life?"

I guess calm wasn't in the cards today. I felt my face heat up as I took a sip of water, "I don't mind."

"I'm fine with it." Nikki shrugged and got up to get a cup of water, chugging it down before filling it up again.

"I know it might sound like a strange question, but it helps figure out the tension and how your relationship works. That is all. How is the sex life?"

"Good..."

"Just good?" Nikki looked at me with a smirk as I rolled my eyes at him.

Crystal chuckled, "Is it a monogamous relationship? Or do you allow outsiders in?"

"It's just us."

We both watched as she flipped through our papers we filled out before the session, "It says adultery was committed?

"You make it sound like a crime." Nikki chuckled.

"I don't find it fucking funny, Nikki." I glared, a hurt expression on my face as he quickly stopped laughing and looked away from me.

"I cheated years ago and I married my mistress while Van was in New York, giving birth to our daughter who I didn't know existed until last year. We went to a therapist there and we worked it out. It's fine. It's history and doesn't matter anymore." Nikki expresses, lounging back onto the couch like a lazy teenager.

"Vanity?" I looked at Dr. Crystal when she said my name softly, "Does it not matter anymore?"

Of course it fucking mattered.

"It hurts still..." I muttered, looking down at my shoes, "Like a lot.."

It was quiet for a moment between the three of us, feeling both sets of eyes on me. I shook my head and pushed hair out of my face and looked at Crystal, "I-I don't want it to hurt. I don't want to feel any hatred towards Nikki because I know how sorry he is for it, but it's just so damn hard still. I can't set foot in his bedroom, our old bedroom, without my skin crawling. I can't look in his bathroom because all I see is him and Brandi. I can't even sit on his bed because I feel so disgusting knowing she use to sleep in it too. It makes my stomach wrench and twist knowing they attempted to have a life together in a house that was suppose to be for me and him."

"Vanity-" Nikki mumbled my name attention to move closer to me.

"I want to forgive you Nikki, I really fucking do-" I spoke to him through tears in my eyes, "But I can't and that isn't your fault, it's mine. I wish I could let it go and move on so we can be good for the sake of our relationship and for Arianna, but Sixx, I can't trust you."

Nikki was taken back as he slumped down into the couch. He looked away from me and pulled strings off his jeans as he remained quiet.

"I know everyone hates this question, but how does that make you feel Nikki? Granted by your body language and expression, this is the first time you heard it?"

Nikki shrugged, "It makes me feel like shit." He mumbled, "I wish I could take it all back, I really do. It was mistake and I don't know why I did it..."

"Sure you do." Crystal spoke, "Was it because Vanity doesn't listen to you so maybe you'd find someone that would? Was it to prove a point? I think you do know why you did it Nikki." I watched as they remained eye contact, his chest rising with a deep intake of air as he exhaled.

"It's okay, Nik.." I whispered, "I want to know."

"We-" He exhaled a quiet fuck, "We were getting married soon. I-I wasn't getting cold feet! I wasn't. I wanted to marry you. I still do. But I, I Uh, I just had to prove to myself that I was still that guy."

"Getting sober is the best thing I have ever done for myself, but I just needed to know if I was still that Nikki. If I was still that rockstar that could get with any woman I wanted."

My lips parted as my heart sunk to my stomach. I realized right then and there what Brandi was all about: Ego.

"I needed to know, Vanity. And it had nothing to do with you or our relationship. It was me. I just-I just wanted to know if I was still that fucking asshole sober like I was jacked up on heroin and the snap of my fingers I could get someone on their knees for me and I did."

I wiped my eyes, reaching for a tissue from the box on the table, "So what would you have done if Vanity never found out? Would you have continued your affair?"

Nikki shook his head, "No, no I wouldn't have continued-"

"But you married her Nikki." I croaked through a pathetic sob, "You had such an extravagant wedding with her and you even told me you and her were trying to have a baby before you came to New York."

"If you didn't come home that day, I would have never continued my affair. That would have been it. Would I have told you? I don't know, probably not because I know regardless of how it would have turned out you still would have left me." Nikki spoke softly as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, "I cheated on you Vanity and I should have never done that. I shouldn't have jeopardized our life together like that. After everything you and I have been through. I shouldn't have done that, to hurt you like that."

Crystal put her items on the table, "May I ask a question?" We both nodded, "Do you two love each other?"

I nodded, "Yes, I love him with everything I have."

"Yeah, of course. I love her to fucking death."

Crystal nodded, glancing between the both of us, "Now do you really love each other or are you just pretending for the sake of your daughter? I ask that because from an outsider looking in, it seems like that spark, light, connection, whatever it is you want to call it has went out."

"Of course. I still love her. We're still in love like we were back then. We just have to work through it, right Van?" Nikki looked at me, his small grin slowly leaving his face as he studied mine, "Right?"

My mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. It was as if someone had a grip around my voice box. Nikki's soft expression quickly turned into confusion and anger.

"I-I love you. But I just don't know if I'm in love with you. I want to be with you because I can't picture myself with anyone else but you and I know it doesn't make sense but I can't see us together right now in my head. I look at you and I just feel hurt and guilt and pain. But I also feel all the love I've had before with you and happiness. And I want that back Nikki." More tears started coming as he stared, his head shaking as he listened to me, "..and I want to be like that with you again but just not right now."

"Okay..." Crystal cleared her throat, "To help with that, I suggest maybe finding some hobbies to do together outside of the house and without Arianna so you two can focus on each other. Do you think that could be something the each of you can do? Maybe you pick something for you and her to do Nikki, and Vanity you do the same."

Nikki nodded, "Yeah, I don't mind doing that." He looked at me and I nodded, "We can do that."

"Great. How about you come back in two weeks and we can talk some more. I look forward to working with you two."

After we made our next appointment, Nikki walked ahead of me, taking long strides to the car. I frowned and held my purse as he got in the car and waited for me. I slid in and buckled up as I watched him dig a cigarette out of the glove compartment, "Can I have one?" I asked quietly. He took the one he had lit between his teeth and handed it to me before grabbing another.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, inhaling as I looked out the window.

"No, I'm not mad. I'm just...I don't know. But I'm not mad or angry or upset with you." Nikki stated as he reached over to give my thigh a light squeeze before he turned up the volume of the radio.

*A few days later*

I was finishing up my shift at the diner, splitting tips I had received today so I can give them to the girls so they can have. I grabbed my notepad when the door chimed, a smile on my face but it went away when I saw Clementine, "Booth?" She nodded and I lead the way. I put a menu down on the table as she sat down.

"Can I have some hot water and tea bags, please?" She asked, smiling as I nodded. I went to retrieve some for her as I brought a carafe of water back. I poured some into her cup before placing it on the table.

"Can I get you anything else?" I held the notepad and pen in my hand as she shook her head, "Okay, then I'll have Annabelle ring you up when you're done. There is no rush at all-"

"Actually, can I get some time with my favorite waitress here." She leaned towards me, "And the prettiest too."

I chuckled at Clementine and slid into the booth with her, "You really think I'm the prettiest waitress here?"

"Of course princess vain." She teases and glanced at me, "I want you to listen to me because I am only saying it once and I really don't want to repeat myself."

I shifted in the seat, crossing my knee over the other, "O-okay.." I cleared my throat and stared at her.

"I am sorry for being a cunt. You were right, Van. I should have moved out sooner. I was barely home and Arianna didn't need me anymore, with her being at school and you and Nikki doing a wonderful job with her. So I am sorry for how I was acting."

I shook my head, "No, no. You weren't being a cunt. I was being one, I should have tried harder to defend you and actually listen to what you had to say. But I just didn't know what to say, Clemmy. I-I was just in shock or denial about the check and everything else."

"No, I should have just left without showing you the check." She sighed, "I should have at least told you sooner and not hide it. But Van, you were so happy with Nikki being in New York. I've never seen you that happy before so I just decided to keep my mouth shut." Clementine expressed as she held the cup of tea in her hands.

I shook my head in frustration, "I'm sorry he even did that to you Clementine. I know you want an apology from Nikki but I don't know if you'll ever get it." I frowned, tapping my nails on the table as I rested my chin in my other palm, "I'm just put in a really weird spot when you two fight. I want to defend you and I want to defend him and I don't ever know what to do so I get upset because I have no control over the situation and that's when I lash out."

Clementine raised an eyebrow, "Are you going to therapy again? Because that's a very therapeutic thing to say." She chuckled as I smiled at her.

"Well, Nikki and I are trying our relationship counseling to see if it helps us. It was his idea, he thinks I don't love him anymore." I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "But I've missed you so much and the day at the studio when you were so standoffish hurt so bad. But I know how you are when you get upset so I should have expected it."

Clementine laughed, "Yeah, I don't know why you thought talking to me would have worked."

"I don't know, maybe you would have ate enough of Tommy's edibles and forgot about it." I chuckled a bit and glanced over when the door chime went off, seeing Nikki take off his sunglasses as he scoured the place for me.

"Well maybe next time I'll consider it-" Clementine grinned, "How about a girls trip this weekend? Maybe rent a hotel room and have a spa day. Arianna can come too. I know she likes to eat the cucumber slices."

I got out of the booth as Nikki sauntered over to us, "Maybe. I'll let you know. Nikki wants to do the bonding activities our therapist suggested we do. I love you." I bent over and gave her a tight hug.

"I love you too, just let me know." She pulled away from me when she saw Nikki.

*Nikki's POV*

I walked through the doors of the diner, glancing around for Vanity. I groaned when I saw she was sitting with Clementine and laughing. I forced a smile as I walked up to them, "Sorry to interrupt....can I talk to you for a minute?"

Vanity nodded and gave Clem as smile as I walked over to the cash register with her, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah I just wanted to see you." I smiled as she did the same.

"Sorry I left in such a rush this morning. I slept through my alarm. Was Arianna easy to get up?" Van asked as she leaned against the counter in front of me.

"Oh yeah she was good. She hated how I did her ponytail but it went okay. Are you almost off?" I looked at her and scooted over when someone needed to get past.

"Um in about thirty minutes I will be. Why? What are you up too?" She chuckled and sat down on the leather barstool.

"I thought maybe we could go to the beach.." I had thought about what our therapist had said about hanging out together and having fun.

"Oh. Okay! Yeah, Arianna would love that. It's kinda gloomy today but that's okay." She smiled, "Just let me finish up and if you wanna pick her up from school and wait for me at home?"

"No, I Uh...I wanted it to just be us..."

She stared at me for a moment before the lightbulb turned on, "I see, from what the therapist said. Um...."

"I was going to pick her up and I asked Jessie if she could come over for a few hours to watch her. Only if you want too though. I'm sure you're tired from working all day. But there's this nice little path that drops down onto a beach I know of. It's not a hard hike at all." I suggested, becoming nervous as she looked around at customers leaving.

"Okay. That sounds good to me, Nik. I just want to change when I get home and we can go." Vanity smiled at me, reaching for my hand and squeezing it a bit. It made me feel better, but also this is the first time she's physically touched me since we went to therapy.

After I left the diner with a free milkshake, I was standing outside my car waiting for Arianna. I heard the school bell ring and out came a whole bunch of kids running to their parents. I smiled when I saw Arianna dragging her backpack on the concrete behind her, Must have been a rough day. I chuckled to myself and reached into the car and grabbed a milkshake for her, "Hi daddy."

"Hey angel! How was school?" I picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek "I stopped and saw Mommy at work and she made this for you."

"Somebody took my dolly." She frowned and laid her head on my shoulder and sipped on the milkshake.

"Your dolly? Baby, you know you can't bring your toys to school." I sighed as I put her down on the ground "Let's go get it-oh Miss. Martinez, hi. Arianna was just telling me someone took her doll?"

Her teacher chuckled and held out her toy to me, "I told Arianna she could get it back at the end of the day. She had a really rough day. Her toy was preventing her from paying attention in class.

Arianna glared, "You're being mean poopy head."

I crouched down, "Look at me, Arianna." I spoke sternly as she kicked rocks on the ground and tried going to open the car door until I blocked her, "Arianna Lynn Blackwood, look at me."

She finally made eye contact, "You do not talk to your teacher like that and you do not bring toys to school. Do you understand me? I will wash your mouth out with soap. Got it?"

She nodded, bottom lip quivering as she gave me her signature puppy dog eyes whenever she was in trouble. I stood up and opened the door for her, "Sorry about that. We'll make sure she won't bring anymore toys to school."

"It's okay Nikki. She did have a minor outburst when we took the toy away so she did have to sit out in the hall, but after that she was a peach as usual. Everyone has their good days and bad days. Have a good weekend and tell Vanity I say hello." Her teacher reassured as I nodded.

"Of course. See ya Monday." I waved to her before getting into the car, "You buckled up?" I spoke, looking at Arianna through the mirror as she nodded, pouting and giving me the silent treatment.

Like mother like daughter.

We got home, seeing Van had already made it before us. I opened up the door for Ari and watched as she got out of the car, letting her backpack swing and hit me in the knees, "Loose the 'tude, dude." I ruffled her hair as she pushed her hand off of me.

Vanity was inside sitting in the living room chatting with Jessie, "Hi baby!" She yelled opening up her arms for Arianna.

"Arianna had a bad day at school." I told her as Van quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Can I see your folder?" Van asked holding her hand out but Arianna shook her head , "One...two...thank you." Vanity grabbed the backpack when Arianna handed it out to her.

"She has a folder that gets sent home with paperwork and news from the school...and her behavior for the week." She explained, showing me as I looked at it. I didn't know about this:

‘Monday, great day today. Very helpful with cleanup and sharing markers with the other kids.

Tuesday, Got frustrated over some counting cards and threw them on floor, but picked them up when I asked the first time. Other than that it was a good day.

Wednesday, wonderful today! Got two gold stars on the chart, three more and she can get a prize from the treasure chest! Her handwriting is improving!

Thursday, she read 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' during reading time to the class. No problems at all. Very impressed with how much she likes to read!

Friday, came in this morning with a very poor attitude. Didn't want to hang up her backpack and jacket after dad left, wouldn't share paint during activities. I had to ask her three times to put her doll away before I held onto it the rest of class time. Had to take away one of her gold stars. Please leave toys at home. Was very uncooperative today and only ate half of her lunch. -Miss M.’

"Arianna..."

"Mommy, I'm sorry." Arianna frowned as she climbed up on the couch and sat next to Jessie.

Van sighed as she looked at me, "I don't think we should go today, maybe tomorrow..."

I shook my head, "What? No, no. Just cause she had a bad day doesn't mean anything. Arianna, no TV tonight."

"Daddy! No!!" Arianna yelled at me, her face getting red as she got off the couch and marched over to me, "I want to watch TV!" She shoved my legs as I stared down at her, shocked over her outburst.

"Okay...Jessie, thank you but you don't need to watch her tonight." Van says apologetically as she went over to her purse and handed Jessie a twenty, "Maybe we can try again tomorrow. It's your deposit." Van cracked a smile as Jessie laughed and took it.

"Thank you. I'll see you later Ari."

Ari pouted even more as Jessie left, "You're being mean!" She shoved my legs again as I quickly picked her up and brought her over to her little pink chair in the corner.

"You're going in time out, Arianna." I retorted and placed her down on her butt, "You're going to sit here and think about how you're acting-Arianna!" I shouted when she quickly got off the chair and started running up the stairs.

"Arianna! What is the matter!" Van quickly grabbed her and brought her back over to the seat, "You do not talk to daddy like that! And you don't push him either!"

"But you do it!" She yelled in Vans face, tears streaming down her cheeks, "You push daddy all the time!"

Fuck!

Van stared at her, "Five minutes Arianna. Then you're going to your room. I mean it. Do not move from this chair or you'll get your butt spanked, got it?"

That sent Arianna over the edge as she started crying uncontrollably. Vanity backed away from her and stepped out into the backyard, "No! Go away Anna!" Ari kicked her legs out when Anarchy got close to her.

"Come on girl." I muttered as we both went into the backyard, "Van?" I noticed that she was sitting on the outdoor couch crying, "Shit, doll. It's okay." I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her, her head leaning against my chest.

"We-we can't fight in front of her Nikki." She sobbed to me as I kissed the top of her head, "Shes at an age where she just absorbs everything now! Damnit." I rubbed her back as she shook in my arms, her tears bleeding through my shirt.

"We'll get better Van. I promise." I took my arms away when she sat up and wiped her face, "No more fighting in front of Arianna. She doesn't need to hear or see our death matches."

Van nodded, "I really wanted to go to the beach with you." She sniffled, looking in through the glass doors to see Arianna was still sitting.

I smiled a bit and rubbed the back of her neck, "It's okay. Just like you said, we can go tomorrow." I kissed the top of her head as she relaxed back into the cushion, "Just let her get her tantrum out for now and we can explain to her later how mommy and daddy sometimes don't get along."

"Because daddy's mean." Van chuckled a bit and looked up at me and gave my cheek a quick peck.

"Hmm, call me daddy again." I laughed as Van swatted my chest and shook her head.

We went back inside seeing that Arianna had calmed down, "Go get a juice box and go to your room for a little bit." I told Arianna as she went to the kitchen before going up the stairs sulking as Anarchy followed after her.

I groaned and laid down on the couch, kicking off my boots, "She's literally the mini version of you."

Vanity chuckled and hanged Arianna's backpack up on the hook, "I can only imagine how she's gonna be when she's older."

"A fuckin demon. We'll probably need to call a priest." I grinned as I sat up and patted the spot next to me, "So the beach tomorrow?"

"Maybe if she has a better attitude. I don't want to leave her alone with Jessie if she's still acting like that. But maybe I can call Clementine, I also know Arianna has been asking to see her and Tommy." Van explained to me as she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"So are you two good now?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck, "Best friends again?"

Van nodded as she glanced at me for a split second before putting on MTV, "Yeah, we're okay now. We talked about it. She said she was sorry for being so distant and I apologized as well. Just no more being mean to Clementine, okay?"

My jaw clenched as I nodded, "Yeah. Of course."

*Next Morning*

~Vanity's POV~

"Nikki, you dyed all your undershirts pink!" I groaned as I pulled them out of the washer, seeing the red and black checkered boxers lying at the bottom.

Nikki came into the laundry room and looked at all of his wet clothes, "Eh, not a big deal. Plus, I was tired last night and just threw it all in."

"Don't ever do my laundry." I chuckled as I started the dryer just to put more clothes into the washer. I left the laundry room, smelling the sweetness of French toast cooking.

"Arianna! Breakfast is ready!" Nikki yelled for her as she came from the living room, blanket wrapped around her body as she climbed up into her spot at the table.

"Tank you." She spoke quietly as Nikki put a plate down in front of her and a small bowl of orange slices on the side, "Mommy, can we go to the park today. The one with the really big slide?"

I smiled at her and then Nikki when he put a plate and a cup of coffee before me, "Actually baby, you're gonna go hang out with Auntie and uncle Tommy while me and daddy go do some things."

"I get to see auntie!?!" She exclaimed as her smile was wide and her giggle was contagious.

"Yes Ari. She's gonna come get you in a hour and you'll hang out with her and T for the day. So eat your breakfast so you can get ready." I watched as she started to scarf down her breakfast.

"Where's she taking her?" Nikki asked as he sat across from me.

"I think her and Tommy want to take Ari to this interactive exploratorium downtown? She gets to learn things plus it's hands on and then probably get something for lunch." I looked at him, pointing to the syrup dripping onto his goatee.

He wiped it away and then rubbed the remnants on his pajama pants, "Is it that new one? I wanted to take her there. It looks like a lot of fun. You can even walk through space and you can dig up dinosaur bones."

I chuckled, "Yes the new one. We can always take her there some other time. It's not a big deal."

"Mom I'm done."

"Eat your fruit."

"You're right. It gives us enough time to spend together anyways. We can bring Anarchy too." I looked at him for a moment before I continued eating my breakfast.

Nikki's been saying I'm right to a lot of things lately. I don't know if he actually means that or if he's just saying it instead of starting an argument.

After Arianna was done eating I helped her get ready for the day. She sat on the floor between my legs as I french braided her hair, "You need to behave today, you hear me? If auntie calls and me and daddy have to come get you, there will be no TV for the rest of the weekend."

Arianna nodded as I tied the braids with yellow rubber bands. I kissed the back of her head as she leaned into my chest and stared up at me.

"Brat." I chuckled and tickled her stomach as she started giggling.

"Nuh uh!" She pressed my arms to my side as she stood up to grab her shoes. I watched as she put them on and tried to tie them herself. I grabbed a backpack and put an extra set of clothes in it just in case.

I looked behind me when there was a loud bang. I chuckled seeing Arianna rip off her shoes and throw them back in the closet before crawling around for her slip on light up tennis shoes.

"We'll practice tying them later." I handed over her backpack as she took it. I reached for a jacket behind her door and followed her down the stairs.

"Tommy's here!" Nikki shouted as I heard boisterous laughter coming from the front door.

"What's up munchkin?! You ready?" Tommy crouches down as Arianna ran to him and he picked her up, "Me and auntie have such a fun day planned for you. You get to hang with the cool kids today."

Arianna smirked at me and stuck her tongue out at Nikki. I chuckled and gave Ari a kiss on the cheek, "Where's Clem?"

"Ah...she was finishing up some commission and she'll be ready when we get back. I don't know how she got this job, but she's making a piece for Bon Jovi." Tommy grinned smirking at Nikki, "Your best friend."

Hm.

"The dudes a fucking flake man." Nikki rolled his eyes, "Sorry, freaking flake. But yeah, good for her for making her own money."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Shut up. Uh...anytime you want her back by?"

I shrugged, "Whenever you guys are done. Him and I are gonna go to the beach and whatever else he has planned."

Tommy nodded and put Arianna down on the floor, "Alright little sixxter lets go. Bye guys!" Arianna bolted out the door as she waved to us before Tommy helped her into the backseat.

"You ready?" I looked at Nikki when he asked and nodded, "I made some sandwiches for us and grabbed some drinks too."

"Okay." I chuckled as I grabbed Anarchy's leash off the hook. Her tail started wagging instantly as well as her barking excitedly, "I know I know you're ready to go too."

*An hour later*

I glanced out the window as we were on the outskirts of Malibu and past all the fancy houses were surrounded by already in Hidden Hills. Nikki pulled off onto a winding dirt road with green hills on each side, "Are you actually going to kill me out here?"

His lips pulled into a smirk but he remained quiet and came to a stop where a yellow dead end sign was posted on a old chain link fence. He then locked the doors, "Nikki! Stop!"

He started laughing and took the keys out of the ignition before unlocking the doors and getting out, "It was too good to pass up. I knew you'd freak out."

I rolled my eyes and looked around, smelling the salt in the air and hearing the waves crashing on the shoreline, "That wasn't funny." I mumbled as he handed me a backpack before putting the camera strap around his neck.

"Till death do us part, Princess." He grinned before grabbing a hold of Anarchy's leash, "Come on. We gotta go through the fence."

I followed him as there was an opening with the chain link rolled back but long wispy branches from the tree blocking it, "Are you sure this isn't like trespassing?" I asked Nikki as I went through and watched him help Anarchy through it next.

"You know, I'm actually not that sure. I found this one night a few years ago when I was just riding on the Harley." He explained to me as we started walking down the trail. He unhooked Anarchy's leash and she started running ahead of us.

I looked around at the grassy hills with a light mist resting on top of them. There was fields of California peonies that ran along the man made path down to the beach. I heard the shutter of a camera and turned around when Nikki was taking a picture of the coastline.

"So why'd you wanna take me here?" I asked him, bending down when Anarchy dropped a stick in front of me and I chucked it for her.

"I've read that nature is relaxing and soothing. Plus I thought maybe we could use the peace and quiet since it's been kinda hectic lately..." he trailed off as he snapped another picture of Anarchy running up to me.

"Yeah, it has been.." I grabbed the stick and threw it for her again, "So how's the album? Do you know when you guys will be done?"

Nikki caught you and walked beside me, "Uh...actually I have a demo cassette in the car if you wanted to listen to it. It's real fucking good, Van. It's hard, it's rough. It's perfect."

I smiled at him, "I'd love to listen to it. I'm sure I'd like it Nikki. I know all of you have been working hard on it."

"You know, John is so talented. Like he's helped write the lyrics and come up with the sound. Hell, he can even play guitar and cover things that Mick normally wouldn't be able to. It's great."

The trail lead us over a small hill as we dropped down onto old wooden stairs that led down to the beach, "So if you have the demo that means you'll be ready to release the album soon, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I wanna say maybe by March the album will be ready. We're just self titling so we don't gotta get clever with it."

I chuckled, "Mötley Crüe by Mötley Crüe?" He grinned and nodded, "I like it."

"Okay next question, album comes so does the tour....what are we doing? Because I know you want us to come but I'm not sure how i feel about bringing Arianna."

Nikki exhaled deeply, "I would like both of you to be with me. I don't want to leave you two at home by yourselves for that long. I could make sure we have our own space so she isn't around anything bad, not that they're would be anything bad! Except for the booze and culture of touring with a rock band."

I grinned at Nikki and nudged his side with my elbow, "That is pretty bad. I'm just concerned of her falling behind in school and she would be so overwhelmed with everything going on she wouldn't focus on any school work I'd help her with. Her sleep schedule would be completely off, and plus Anarchy, I don't want to board her for months. Plus with us and how we've been fighting whose to say we wouldn't on tour? I don't want to go on tour Nikki."

I knew he was getting frustrated with my by the way he shook his head and rolled his neck from side to side, "Okay well what if we work it out with the people that book the shows and venues and we could stop in Dallas and maybe your mom can keep her for a bit?"

I laughed, "Oh my god. You're actually serious? Leaving Arianna with my mother would be such a horrible idea. No we aren't doing that either."

"Van come on. Why not? Why can't we just agree on something for once? Arianna would probably love to go on tour and see me on stage and go to a bunch of cool places too. We could go somewhere neat in every city and whose to say we can't bring Anarchy with us? It's my band." He laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him when we get on the beach.

I rest my cheek on his chest, "If, and I'm saying if. If my mom does hypothetically say yes how long would we leave her for her. I'm not to thrilled about leaving her anywhere. Not after New York."

I never wanted Arianna to think I abandoned her ever again.

"A month? Gives us a break and time to be adults. Plus we both know she'd have the time of her life being spoiled down there on the family farm with Theo and Betty." Nikki laughed as Anarchy came up and dropped seaweed on his shoes, "Nice, thanks girl." Nikki rolled his eyes and picked it off before throwing her stick far across the shore, "So is that a yes?"

I glanced at Nikki, "It's a maybe and let me think about it."

Nikki nodded and gave my ass a light smack before pulling away from me, "Can I take some pictures of you? You are my favorite model after all."

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namjoonchronicles · 5 years

Text

beginners | nj

↳ genre fluff, domestic, parenthood

↳ words 3.4k

↳ summary Challenges in parenthood are not meant to be a one sided task. sometimes, Namjoon will need some help in raising Koya. And parenthood is not as easy as it seems.

↳ warning none, just a few surprise guests you might not see coming

↳ namjoonchronicles’ honorary taglist @kai-tashi @septemberalien @joon94net @yourlocalalien @snugglemejeon @yoongiseesaw @majestikblue

↳ special mentions this is for @majestikblue for always being supportive of my work, and making me thrive harder and unlock many others creative corners I didn’t know I had

↳ song the daydream 'stepping on the rainy street'

As usual, Koya would wake up by babbling. His tiny feet peeks through the striped baby blue fuzzy blanket. His curly light brown hair, rosy cheeks mushed against his little pillow. He threw his bottle on the side of the mattress and climbed out of the play pen, reconstructed as a bed by his mom. Diapers heavy from overnight use, he waddles to the room next door where his parents sleep in.

"Dada," he knocks air. The door opened slightly, stood ajar, but he never enters. Nobody knows why.

Namjoon stirs and check his phone for time. Hearing Koya calling him from the door made him slip out of bed at once. When he peeks through the gap, Koya is there standing, barely taller than his knees. "You called for me?" he asked, his raspy morning voice was deeper than usual. Koya cranes his neck to look at his ridiculously tall daddy, so Namjoon crouched to carry him up before he falls back on his butt. Koya petite chubby fingers dances on Namjoon's cheeks and the dad puckers his lips for a kiss but Koya tilts his head back so Namjoon peppers kisses on his neck and jaws and cheeks, instead. Blowing air against his skin to make the little one giggle.

This is the life any man ought to live. He feels very lucky.

"Mama..." Koya tilts his head on one side. "Mama's not here, mama went to work," he carried Koya into the bedroom so he could look at the unmade bed and prove that he was telling the truth, "See? It's just you and me, buddy..."

Koya nods and let out a baby gibberish that sounded like a full sentence but isn't. Namjoon is an expert on that, "She'll be home later at 5 pm, as usual... Today, we are going to do some grocery shopping, and you're going to help me. But first..."

Namjoon passed Koya a dinosaur plush while he sat on the ground. Then Namjoon turns his attention to the unmade bed, fluffing the pillows, straightening the sheet and covering it with the neatened duvet. The shade is open and the air humidifier is turned on. Koya is such a well-behaved baby. Namjoon is sure he got that from your side of the family.

Your side of the family, he repeated. Debatable.

Every occasion done with your side of the family surely made its mark in his head. From your screaming aunts, to your deathly silent uncles, and your chaotic cousins, and their children. And their children's children. Namjoon smiled to himself, shaking his head at the thought of it.

Faucets twisted. Tub is steadily filling up with water. Koya is seated on the sink counter under his dad's watchful eye.

"Up..." Namjoon motions his arms above so Koya would follow. Off goes the shirt, pants and the heavy urine-filled diaper. Roll the diapers neatly, refastened it with the sticky tapes, into another biodegradable plastic, and then tied in a knot, until finally, discarded into the actual bin. Koya is lifted into the tub, water reaching up to just below his waist, not too much. Namjoon kneels next to the tub, taking the shower head from it's holder, checking the water temperature with his hands. It mustn't be too hot or too cold. Koya plays with the floating little dinosaurs and doll ducklings, dunking them into the water, squeezing them between his sausage fingers.

"Buddy, you ready for this?" he asked. Koya gaze up to him with big dewy eye and a huge smile. "You ready to get hyped up?" Namjoon made Koya play with the drizzle first before running the shower head above his curly brown hair, now drenched. Koya visibly shudder upon contact and it made Namjoon chuckle. Baby shampoo bottle, where is it. Oh. Squirt a small amount, carefully bubble it up with Koya's hair. Koya splashes the water with his hand, making Namjoon flinch a bit. His glasses mustn't get wet.

"Okay, okay," he doesn't know what he's saying 'OK' for, but he fetched the baby body wash next. He lathers them all over Koya's supple baby skin. It amazes him how it's so soft.

Little hands, and little feet. He lifts the baby's arm to get the armpits washed, and rinse the baby down with running water. He's clumsy, but Koya doesn’t seem to mind. All swaddled and clean in a warm koala towel daddy got for him. Out the bathroom of course, he gets after shower kisses and carried out in Namjoon's arm. Next, powdering the baby. Warm baby oil so he doesn't get cold when they leave the house later. New diaper, three layers of cloth for the weather, khaki trousers and a small matching red beanie like dad. All dressed.

Which he takes off when Namjoon isn't looking.

Namjoon is now preparing his formula milk in the kitchen. He counts up to 3 scoops of milk powder and filled the bottle with lukewarm water. He walks over to Koya in your shared bedroom and does the dance with the formula milk. Spinning and twirling with an idiot big smile on his face.

"Customer, your drink, sir," he said with gusto, complete with chef's kiss. Koya shrieked and gurgled, fetching the bottle with both hands. Namjoon thwarted, "Where did your beanie go?"

Then he disappears into the bathroom, leaving the door open so he could watch Koya drink his formula milk on his baby mattress next to the bed, holding crescent moon plush tightly in one hand, while Namjoon prepares himself for the outing.

Namjoon hurried to brush his teeth, splash water on his face, dry them up and changed to new clothes. He fetched the red beanie from the floor and fastened them on Koya.

"Like daddy's, we're bros aren't we?"

He carries Koya in his arms and walks out.

Koya has exercises in the morning. Down in the apartment's playground. It's Namjoon's favorite past times. He gets to meet chaotic Seokjin, Lily's dad who's now bored because Lily's now attending kindergarten; handsome super-dad Taehyung with two of his girls (Sam & Tati), and counting; young but more responsible dad than they all combined, Jungkook who has a 2 year old girl name Ben; and last but not least, the ever panicking always screaming,forever sleep-deprived Park Jimin who just joined the dad group with his girl, Sona, last January.

Their little house-husband group have morning meetings, like these. Jungkook always makes great coffee. And Seokjin is always generous enough to bring his leftover from last night unless he was fighting with his wife and refused to cook. In those days, Namjoon will have to get something from the convenient store so dads could eat and won't starve because it's a hard life.

"What's up, Jimin?" he greets and meets the lad in the elevator, crossed ankles, hands in pocket.

The poor guy looks like he aged overnight. He has his head leaned against the elevator walls, lulling to Namjoon, carrying Koya.

"Where's your girl?" Namjoon asked. "My mom came and took her to the village last night, she has chicken pox... I hadn't slept in 3 days," Jimin mumbled. "At four months? Tough," Namjoon retorted, "But hey, at least you get some time with the wifey," the taller dad shrugged his shoulder, wiggling his eyebrow at Koya to make him laugh, bouncing the giggly boy. Jimin scoffed tired with a small smile, "I don't know about that man, she's pissed because of work and every time I make a move, she looks like she's going to gnaw me alive." "Isn't that a good thing?" Namjoon knitted his brow at his dear friend and shot a glance outside when the elevator doors open to reveal Seokjin bringing a picnic box and a thermos.

"Do you not have eyes or hands?" Seokjin shot at Jimin, muttering angrily. Being the oldest of the three, Seokjin was always bullying Jimin at any chance he's got. Jimin gathers the picnic box and the bags of plastic wares. "Someone's cranky," Namjoon spat, "Good morning, Seokjin. Say Good Morning to Uncle Seokjin, baby...?" Leaning Koya down to Seokjin's shoulder. His favorite uncle. Koya immediately stretches his arms to Seokjin. Seokjin groans and kissed Koya's chin like the baby is his. Namjoon fetch the thermos from Seokjin in exchange. It's going to be an interesting gathering today because Jungkook just returned from his wife's hometown. They can't wait for him to share pictures and funny events that happened.

"Gah, I miss holding a toddler. When they start talking, I just want to mute them...does that make me a bad daddy?" Seokjin swaddles Koya, turning side to side while Koya shrieks excitedly. Namjoon took the chance to thumb Koya's rosy cheeks and cooing at him from behind Seokjin, puckering his lips, making kissing sound and Jimin smiling fondly.

"Lily's so big now, she's doing math effortlessly and I'm certain that's from her side of the family," Seokjin walks out with Koya first when the elevator reaches the ground floor to Jungkook panicking face, carrying Ben on his side, rushing himself into the lift as the three got out.

"What's wrong with you?" "Take Ben. I think I forgot to turn the stove off, I think," he breathily say. Jimin fetches Ben by the hand. She wraps her hand around his pinkie and watched her dad panicked face in utter calmness expression on hers. Nothing scares her. Jungkook raised her well.

Namjoon and Jimin glances over their shoulder at Jungkook stabbing the buttons, repeatedly.

At the playground, Koya and Ben begins with the slides first. The dads are sitting on the benches, munching on their long-awaited breakfast, with their knees spread wide, sitting in silence until Jungkook re-emerges from the lobby and into the open air playground, wearing black sweatshirt and pants, hair a little longer than last week. It passes his brows, in length and very soft. He helps Ben to reach the monkey bars.

"...Had anyone seen Taehyung?" Namjoon suddenly asked, shoving another rice rolls into his mouth.

"No..." "...nope."

"You think he's okay?" Namjoon darts his attention ahead where his son is. "Probably expecting baby number 6," Seokjin snickers. "I heard they got in a fight before..." Jimin leans forward, looking to the side where his older brothers are.

Namjoon and Seokjin both had different reactions but can be summarize to one word: They squawked.

"They always get into a fight, and then bam!" Namjoon motions an explosion with his hands, "He goes: So uhh, my wife's 3 months pregnant; with his boxy smile and perfect hair." "Is that a normal thing for marriage couple? Like do you guys like fight and then make love?" Jimin asked, earnestly, genuinely curious.

"What do you mean that you don't?" Namjoon frowned in a glimpse, carried Koya to his lap and cleaned his hand since he fell on the sand bed, with the wet wipes Seokjin passed nonchalantly.

"Namjoon's wife is a whole different breed, my wife didn't touch me at all after Lily came out, and then she devoured me whole. And now it's a regular thing. We don't have schedules or anything like that, though," Seokjin answered, leaning back and relaxed.

Finding Seokjin and Namjoon's answer to be satisfying,Jimin turns to Jungkook who is now at the swing, pushing Ben.

"What about you, Jungkook?" "Me? About what?" Jungkook yells from afar. "Do you fight with your wife and then make love to her?"

Jungkook's ears turn bright red. How could he ask something so personal, out in the open like that? Does he not know shame?

"Sometimes?" Jungkook crumpled his face and joined the dads on the bleacher, fetching the newly poured coffee from Seokjin, as if he's not sure of his answers. He pauses and did some thinking, but nothing much came out. Because sex is something common but also not very common in his household?

"It really depends on her mood though..." Jungkook took a noisy sip from the steaming coffee. Namjoon nods. Jimin seems to be bothered by it.

"But Taehyung has a lot to worry about, wife's a CEO," Seokjin sighs. "Makes good money too..." Namjoon shot. "The assistant is a guy, Taehyung said he's attractive..." Jungkook passed. "Sucks," Jimin pursed his lips.

All the dads nod in agreement.

It's tough to be a house husband. Dealing with the stigmas, the condescending tone that comes with the status, having your manhood challenged and finding yourself ridiculed solely because you don't earn for the family. The criticism is vicious, coming from your own family member. All they have is themselves, their partner and friends who are under the same pressure. Of having kids, of becoming a parent, of having a working and successful wife. Constantly renewing self-worth and value by means of being a good husband and a father. while getting almost nothing in return accept the promise of raising well behaving children. Reassurance could only do so much. Roles are reversed and the men has to learn from scratch how to manage a household. Holidays are rare and emotions are constantly in a state of turmoil.

"So how did the village trip go?" Namjoon asked Jungkook. Jungkook's face visibly brightens up. Now he can show off the pictures he took and his talent as a photographer. His wife's village had a majestic sea spread, and beautiful sunset. The whole thing looks like Windows wallpaper shot.

Close to 10 am, Namjoon excused himself and little Koya to get the grocery started with the list you wrote down. Diapers, talcum powders, veggies, beefs, chicken thighs. Koya is seated on the baby chair in the kart, while Namjoon check the ingredient of a new baby food. The pack has slimy green and doesn't look appetizing at all.

"Wow, even I wouldn't eat that..." Namjoon commented. He places the pack back and take the usual one he buys. Carrots, spinach, chicken breast. Shopping is faster when there's a list and he stick religiously to it. He pushed the cart and passed by an electronic store. There he saw a new vacuum. He pouted and stood idly, before taking a picture of it. He sends them to you.

"I don't need anything else on my birthday, just this... please," he added a crying emoticon at the end. Sent. Delivered. Read.

Wife is typing.... Wife is typing....

"Okay sweetie :) shopping?"

Namjoon grins to the phone and began typing, but Koya started whimpering. He is taking off his shoes so Namjoon shove his phone into the back pocket in a hurry. Koya is bored. So Namjoon takes out the house key for him to play with while he chooses chicken breast by the freezer corner. He settles with one and grabbed a scallion on his way out. He stood by the self-checkout payment counter and scanned the things carefully. Koya is still playing with the keys. Last item, and then we're heading home, he thought.

When they got to the block of their home, at the lobby, Koya isn't playing with the keys anymore. That's when Namjoon's nightmare began.

"Baby, where's the key? Where's our house key, buddy?" Namjoon asked, searching his pocket and Koya's but Koya just pointed away at the birds he heard outside. Namjoon on the other hand is panicking while keeping an outwardly calm demeanor.

This can't be. He has to call his wife.

"Hey!" "Hey, hun. I'm at the lobby..." "Is there something wrong?" your cheerful voice switches to a concerned one. "Yeah, ha ha," Namjoon chuckles nervously, "See, I gave Koya the house key he dropped it midway here and now we can't get into the lift." "Oh shoot," you smacked your lips together, pinching your hips while pressing the phone to your ear standing by your work desk, "I'm going to see what I can do, if I can leave,"pausing, you remembered that the afternoon meeting was cancelled so you could leave for a bit, "Okay, don't worry, I'm coming," you hurried to say and the call ends.

Twenty minutes later, you walked in your pastel blue pumps and light beige dress, wearing a long black coat and ballerina bun hair. Your Pandora bracelets jingle and ran mid forearm when you tuck your baby hair behind your ear making your way into the lobby. Namjoon beams and Koya gets visibly excited, grabbing air and leaning over for his mommy.

"Hello boys," you sang and took Koya from Namjoon, brushing your lips on your husband first and then your baby. Namjoon fetch the house key from you and you turned to the apartment manager, to thank him.

"So can we have the door set changed today?" you asked. "Yes, madam... not a problem," he answered.

Namjoon walks in the elevator and held the door for you while carrying a bag of groceries. He leans back to the elevator wall while you bopped Koya's nose, cooing him.

"You look pretty today," Namjoon presses his smile and his little dimple show. "Of course, I look pretty everyday," you spoke in gurgles at your son even as you're talking to your husband. "How's work?" he asked. "Not too hectic as it usually is, so I may head home early," you cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked.

That's good news. The view of your wedding ring, glittering as you held Koya up sends his heart racing, knowing that he bought it. It still feel surreal even after Koya's birth. Now he's turning two in September. At the beginning of the relationship, it seemed that this future he seeks for, felt impossible. He still remembers how you said that you weren't his ideal type, and the fear of rejection rendered you silent, in love with him from a corner. That you weren't enough, that you know he can find someone better.

And here you are, being everything he ever wished for, prayed for, dreamt of.

Making fun of Koya falling asleep is your favorite past-time. Both of you speaking in hushes.

"Look at how he is still chewing when he could barely open his eyes," you leaned your chin on Namjoon's shoulder from behind. Your husband feeding Koya his daily spinach intake from the dining chair. "His cheeks," Namjoon snickered and pointed out, eyes turning to thin slits as he chuckles.

Koya finally leans his head back and fall asleep for good. Namjoon removes him from the baby chair and let him sleep in his bed pen after cleaning his face and hands. Namjoon doesn't leave until he presses his lips on the little one's head, and then he stares fondly at him while kneeling by the pen, sitting on his heels for a bit. You leaned on the door frame crossing your arm. A faint smile playing on your lips at the view of your husband carrying his usual duties. As if he felt your eyes on him, he glanced at you with a secretive smile. He cocks an eyebrow while sucking his cheek in, standing up.

"What's that look for?" he spoke in whispers, against you, pushing you out of Koya's room with his advances. "What look?" you grinned.

"That look, you gave me a look..." "I did not give you a look?" "Yes you did..."

This silly conversation isn't going anywhere so you made him bow down a little to whisper in his ear. Your lips brushing on them, teasingly with every word you said, "I think you look extra sexy today." You pushed back to enjoy the look on his face as you bite your smile.

He licked his lips and placed his arm around your waist to pull you close and press your body on his.

"Is that so?" "And I think we should mess up the bed." "Okay, but you're gonna call your co-workers and say there's an emergency at home." "Oh? And what kind of emergency should I say?" "We'll figure it out. After." . . . . Namjoon's shirt rode up to reveal his back, your hands at the brims, while you lay underneath him. Sharing a searing, heated, hungry kiss that grows more and more desperate. Arms around his neck. Knees digging into the mattress, staying awfully quiet because you don't want Koya to come awake. Cradling your back with his arm as he brought you down, Namjoon moans into the kiss, letting out a shaky sigh through his nose, brows furrowed in concentration until...

Ding-dong.

"Door set change, ma'am?"

Namjoon and you shot your heads at the door's direction at the same time. Damn it.

copyright © 2019 namjoonchronicles do not repost, this is the foundation of something I’d like to call a house husband universe, and I plan to make more in the future for each of the dad’s. You can say that it sort of merge with taehyung’s ‘outnumbered’, seokjin’s ‘marriage is’ and jimin’s ‘perfectly wrong’ universe... curious why the children’s name the way they are? talk to me

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wisepuma23 · 6 years

Text

The Butterfly’s Shelter: Chapter 1

Summary - Logan dreamed about becoming a father all his life. However, he finds being a father on paper is very different than actually being a father to a real living breathing child. Virgil was three months old when he was adopted by Logan Crofters but his eyes spark with a curiosity, unlike other babies at his age. It both fills Logan with pride and complete utter dread. Meanwhile, he doesn't understand how his best friend, Patton Milena, was able to pull off being a single Dad to his five-year-old son, Roman. When he asks, Patton laughs until he nearly pukes, and just pats him on the shoulder.

Everything changes after Virgil's first birthday.

Logan will finally understand what it truly means to be a father beyond yanking him from open sockets and burping him as according to page 63 of his parenting manual.

Word count - 2, 901

Pairings - Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic Royality, Platonic Prinxiety

Warnings - None

Notes - Behold! It's here!! Our collab between me and Tashi (fangirltothefullest)! It all started because of one scene from my fic (We Were Never Welcome Here) and we have been excitedly brainstorming and planning this Dad!Logan AU!!!

I also want to say thank you to our beta my-happy-little-bean!!! She's amazing and she really helped us polish our chapter for tonight.

It will be updated every two weeks so keep your eyes out for that!

I hope y’all enjoy!

Next Chapter

Read on AO3

Footsteps tapped along tiled floors as Logan sat in the waiting room. That universal rhythmic drum of nerves and stress made Logan aware of his own finger tapping against the chair he sat on. He couldn’t help it. Parents, nurses, and children roamed the bright hallways of the pediatric wing. His leg bounced in place as children laughed and he heard their little giggles fill his ears, his mind, his very heart.

Soon, soon, his thoughts cried out in agony. He noticed a mother across from him tilt her head in concern, then blossomed into pity. Logan felt hot embarrassment fill his chest and forced his leg and finger to sit still, yet the bundle of nerves that sat in his chest like an iron ball did not leave.

He knew it was expected for fathers to experience stress on their very first day as a father. Normal, even. Logan looked down, but he wasn’t like most fathers. Most fathers didn’t need to go through a million hoops, calls, and interviews by social workers and state officials alike. Even if it had been a hassle for the past two years, he much preferred the screening process to be complicated and thorough; it made for a better result in the end. Logan did not balk at the mountain of paperwork that stood in his way.

It was worth it.

He was prepared as far as the home, career, and state requirements seemed to suggest and the paperwork was filled out neatly and orderly. Logan had crossed all his t’s and dotted his i’s. It had taken twice as long to make sure everything was in order because they had lost his application twice when he’d faxed it. It was as if the world was trying to deny him. But Logan was not one to give up. Not after so long of dreaming about this.

Yet now that he, Logan Crofters, was faced with the actual premise of facing the children and selecting one to adopt? His heart pounded in his ears and threatened to burst out of his chest and onto the sanitized floors. His palms were sweaty no matter how many times he wiped down his slacks. He was handling it. Kinda.

Beyond the door to his left laid a plentitude of babies in their cribs. He swallowed hard. How was he supposed to choose? What if he couldn’t choose?

His hand pressed up against his tie, habitually adjusting it against the black of his button down, and pushed up his glasses. The habit took the edge off his nerves; at least it didn’t feel like his heart was going to bounce straight out of his chest cavity anymore. Yet his mind clamored with questions still, as it often did.

What if he wasn’t ready? What if this silly little childhood dream to be a father wasn’t meant to be?

Logan shut his eyes against the roar of what if, what if ?

“Mister Crofters?” a voice called out gently, snapping Logan out of his thoughts at the familiarity of it; it was none other than the social worker assigned to his adoption case. The man’s pleasant smile pulled him from his thoughts. Logan admired the dark green tie adorned around the social worker’s neck. Different from last time’s baby blue. Logan shook his head and immediately stood to shake the kind man’s hand.

“Dr. Picani,” Logan greeted with a rare smile, and the other’s blue eyes crinkled behind his own pair of spectacles. Of all the social workers that could be handling the infant department of the adoption agency, Dr. Emile Picani was one of the best. Excitable but gentle, pleasant to talk to and understanding; from the moment Logan met him, he knew this man’s life goal was getting these children to good homes. His kindness above all was what sold Logan that his case was in good hands.

“It’s good to see you, Logan. Are you ready to meet the little ones?” Dr. Picani gestured to the open doorway and Logan nodded.

“I’ve been ready for the past two years, sir; it’d be illogical that I wouldn’t be ready,” Logan said with an edge of confidence and followed him in through the second set of doors. It wasn’t true, and he was terrified beyond belief. He wanted to run to the nearest window and scream. Logan hoped the nurses didn’t tell Dr. Picani about the panic attack he had in the bathroom half an hour ago either. But by Isaac Newton, he wanted this more than anything.

As soon as he entered the room, his ears were immediately assaulted with the sounds of babbling and giggling. Tinkling laughter rang through the air like bells. Logan could see a row of cribs lining the back wall of what looked like a large playroom with baby toys scattered about the floor. There were a few babies who were sleeping, and in another room, Logan could see a couple of heavy-duty cribs fashioned with medical supplies.

None of the babies appeared to be in any of those, though he could only see a couple machines through a cracked glimpse of the sterile room. Nurses and caretakers held some of the babies, feeding them while others played with them on the floor. Warmth filled him up from the bottom of his toes to the top of his head as he leaned over a crib.

The pink baby within burst out into giggles at his appearance. Logan blinked back tears before the other doctors and nurses could see and moved away before he disturbed it further. They looked so… fragile and lovely in a way that he could not put into words. Logan desperately wanted to sit down and never leave the ward again. If he could have dubbed this his new favorite place, he would have.

Logan could see quite a few young volunteers helping out and Dr. Picani smiled at Logan’s awe. Laughter lines deepened around his light blue eyes with amusement and Logan found himself smiling despite his own efforts to appear professional.

“These are most of our available babies ready for adoption.” Dr. Picani told him. “They’ve all been properly vaccinated and such. We are currently housing only one child, an infant, who is in need of medical care and he’s under observation.” Logan frowned in concern, but Dr. Picani handwaved with a beam. “But he’s as strong as Lapis Lazuli, I just know it. He’ll be fine. When you’re done here I can take you there to see him if you like!”

Logan sighed in relief and nodded as he peered about the room. There were so many, how was he supposed to choose? He shuffled in place, torn in too many directions, and Dr. Picani chuckled behind him.

“They don’t bite Logan; that comes when they start getting teeth,” he teased and lifted one little baby from a crib.

“This is little Anna,” he cooed and held her out to Logan who lifted her into his arms and his chest ached. Her rosy cheeks, pudgy little fingers, and eyes that twinkled like sapphires made his heart melt into a puddle. Her eyes lit up and squealed as she kicked her feet. He chuckled and bounced her without thinking.

Dr. Picani smiled. “Aw, see? Paternal instincts kicking in already.”

“Perhaps,” Logan mused and his fear and apprehension of the situation seemed to drain away, “and what happened to you, chubby little thing?” He asked her as if she could answer. “Where are your parents?”

“Teenage pregnancy. Oof.” Dr. Picani shook his head as he checked her file. “The mother has requested being able to visit. However....” He frowned as Logan’s heart leapt up his throat. “... she specifically requested that she wants her child raised by a couple. You’re not-”

“No,” Logan replied with a sigh and gently ran his hand over her rosy cheeks one last time as he set her back down in her crib with the utmost care, ignoring the way his soul screamed . “Single.”

“Mmm indeed. Forgive me, I almost forgot, which was silly of me.” He sighed. “Well, there are plenty of other children whose parents have-”

But he was cut off by an ear-splitting scream shook the room, causing the other babies to startle and cry.

“Oh no, oh dear-!” Dr. Picani and another caretaker moved quickly toward the room of medical cribs. “Forgive us, this little gem is in a lot of pain.”

Logan followed worriedly; the screaming and shrieking tugged at his heart. He entered the other room where they shut the door behind him and he watched Dr. Picani gently reach his hands into the crib and bring the tiniest infant he’d ever seen from the crib. He was not hooked up to any monitors but the room was definitely warmer than the other and smelled even more sterile.

“Is the baby alright?” Logan asked, tone laced heavily with concern, and Dr. Picani nodded as the baby screamed and screamed to no avail.

“Colic,” he said softly as he rubbed the baby’s back in soothing motions. “Poor thing has a lot of tummy pain. But he screams so loudly we can’t keep him near the other little ones or they don’t sleep.” He winced as another wail pierced the room. “I am so sorry, it’s like a Howler Owl is in here. I offer my sincerest condolences for your ears.”

But Logan wasn’t looking at Dr. Picani; his eyes were locked onto the crying little baby, who was sobbing hard enough to almost puke in the other’s gentle grip. His heart ached, yearning to protect him and he held his hands out.

“May I?” he asked.

“Oh! Of course!” Dr. Picani said with a veiled note of surprise as he set him in Logan’s waiting arm, “Don’t shake him, it’s quite tempting for frustrated parents; I highly advise against it no matter how loud he cries.”

“I would never,” Logan whispered as he held the squirming infant closer, supporting his head in the cradle of his arm. “I would rather die than harm this little teardrop of starlight.”

The baby had a tuft of black hair stark against pale sickly skin that sheened with sweat as he squirmed in his gentle yet firm hold. He was so small, a lima bean almost, while the other babies around the ward were hulking giants by comparison. His hands and legs kicked as he let out another hearty wail.

Logan shushed him gently as he bent down and let his forehead bump against the fragile infant with the barest of touches. His skin so soft and supple even if it was slick with tears and sweat at the moment. Those tears bigger than any he had ever seen on a child; filled with so much discomfort and sadness, they fell in big rivers from where they pooled inside his eyes. His pale little face was so blotchy.

Logan felt his heartstrings pulled taut like a bowstring and the pang in his chest returned at the sight of his unyielding struggles.

“I know you’re in pain, little one. You have known nothing else, have you?” Logan whispered, reverent in his tone and his only answer was shuddering, unending sobs. “You are incredibly tiny, aren’t you? Hmm, how old are you?”

He heard the rustle of papers again, and then Dr. Picani’s buttery smooth reply of “About three months now.”

“He’s so young....” Logan said gently and soothingly shushed the baby. He squirmed and cried and it was loud in his ears, but he couldn’t help it and Logan understood that. “Where are his parents?”

For the first time, Dr. Picani lost that perpetual smile.

“He’s an orphan. His parents died when his house caught on fire. Firefighters said it was a faulty oven.” The doctor leaned over to brush a hand over Virgil’s head. “Boy’s a miracle, I tell you. He spent weeks in the infant ICU to recover the damage in his lungs.” Dr. Picani smiled as he brushed away a tear, clearly distressed but proud of the little bean. “He is a fighter.”

“But what about the rest of his relatives?”

Dr. Picani pulled away as a dark look crossed his face.

“None that would take him. They refused to accept a ‘devil baby’.” He glared down at the file he held. “Their words not mine. His relatives think he’s bad luck and don’t consider him part of the family tree. Disowned and discarded as if something this small and helpless could bring misfortune on them like some Scooby Doo villain.”

“Utter nonsense.” Logan resisted the urge to hold the baby tighter in his arms, as if he could shield from the dangerous ignorance of the world. Logan shifted from foot to foot as the baby calmed into mere sniffles; a respite from his pained sobbing. Logan stared at the baby he held, swaddled in soft blue blankets, and remembered the long days of waiting.

Dreams haunted him as a child, of a carriage and pealing laughter as children ran around clutching at his legs. Soft blurry dreams of him rushing to put a band-aid on a skinned knee, small hands that grasped around his neck, and of everlasting sunny days as he played with them in their white picket fence yard. Fatherhood felt more like a wonderful dream than a societal milestone. It was his one life goal, more than his career, and more than his love life. He’d been dreaming of the idea long before he even knew what it entailed.

Round dark eyes met his own and he felt the breath knocked out of him. The awareness that stared back at him fascinated him. This was a human in the making. It will go through various developmental stages until one day it will dream a little dream of its own. Rock star, astrobiologist, writer, or even stunt devil.

He rocked the baby gently, never breaking his stare; his sniffles disappeared as he watched Logan in rapt awe. Curiosity, even. The infant squirmed in his swaddle and thrusted a pudgy hand up at him. His little fingers clenched around his own finger and he watched the baby’s eyes light up despite the pain.

“Oh,” Dr. Picani said, his voice the gentlest he’s ever heard in two years of knowing him. “Are you quite alright?”

“Yes, why do you ask?” Logan croaked as the baby tilted his little head in surprise.

“Sir, you’re crying.”

Logan blinked, but it was true. Tears leaked out of his eyes in steady trickles and he could feel the cold of their rivers running down the sides of his face. He hadn’t even realized. He wondered how strange he must look with tears dripping down his cheeks and he could do nothing more than blink at the doctor in dumbfounded stupidity. He heard a quiet little squeak from the baby he held as he squirmed. His tears were cold but his arms were too full to brush them away.

“This one.” Logan said firmly, facing Dr. Picani head on. “Please.”

Dr. Picani’s eyes went wide at the uncharacteristic voice crack. “A-are you sure? We have other children in the playroom that will be more suited to your needs. He will be very fussy and it will take quite a while for him to recover yet so he may scream all that time. I rather recommend him to a family with experience already and-”

“This one.” Logan said, his voice laced with hard steel.

This was the child he wanted to raise; the one he wanted to dedicate his life to. In an instant he could imagine this little one’s future and its trillions of different changing variables, he knew with absolute certainty he wanted to give this baby a home and love him to the best of his ability.

“What’s his name?” He asked with a smile.

Dr. Picani scratched something on his clipboard and looked up, his eyes searching into Logan one last time before his shoulders dropped.

“Virgil. His name is Virgil.”

Logan pulled his finger away from Virgil’s grip to trace his round cheeks. Still that distressing shade of paleness. Virgil let out a little gurgle and leaned into his warm hand. If he wasn’t crying before, he certainly was now. Tears blurred his vision so much he could barely see. He didn’t believe in a Heaven, but the sheer amounts of dopamine flooding into his system made him more susceptible to believe he was there. Virgil’s brown eyes twinkled with faint starlight.

He was never more sure of anything in his entire life. Previous worries and concerns be damned. He wanted to raise Virgil as his son (or any other gender he was comfortable with later in life) as his own. Logan never understood feelings, or why the thought of letting Virgil go made his skin itchy, but he did understand that this was it. His dream: realized. He had no wife, and no man to take his hand now at twenty-six years old. He had accepted it was never going to happen.

So Logan couldn’t bear to wait another day.

Virgil gurgled and let out a small little giggle as he squirmed in Logan’s careful hold.

“Yes,” Logan smiled, a soft and quiet one as he looked up at Dr. Picani. “Thank you. I cannot express it enough but… thank you.”

Next Chapter

#sanders sides #logicality #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides au #sanders sides fluff #myfics #the butterfly's shelter

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thatgirlonstage · 6 years

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Reading Challenge 31/7/18

Book 1: Ptolemy’s Gate: A Bartimaeus Novel by Jonathan Stroud

Read: Loc5082-7897 (end), 282% of goal

Favorite Passage:

“A typical master. Right to the end, he didn’t give me a chance to get a word in edgeways. Which is a pity, because at that last moment I’d have liked to tell him what I thought of him. Mind you, since in that split second we were, to all intents and purposes, one and the same, I rather think he knew anyway.”

Book 2: The Ring of Solomon: A Bartimaeus Novel by Jonathan Stroud

Read: Loc1-940, 94% of goal

Favorite Passage:

“No matter how many times you see the dead walk, you always forget just how rubbish they are when they first break through the wall—they get points for shock value, for their gaping sockets and gnashing teeth, and sometimes (if the Reanimation spell is really up to scratch) for their disembodied screams. But then they start pursuing you clumsily around the temple, pelvises jerking, femurs high-kicking, holding out their bony arms in a way that’s meant to be sinister but looks more as if they’re about to sit down at a piano and bash out a honky-tonk rag. And the fast they go, the more their teeth start rattling and the more their necklaces bounce up and get lodged in their eyeholes, and then they start tripping over their grave-clothes and tumbling to the floor and generally getting in the way of any nimblefooted djinni who happens to be passing. And, as is the way with skeletons, never once do they come out with any really good one-liners, which might add a bit of zest to the life-or-death situation you’re in.”

Total Read: 376% of goal

Ongoing reading projects:

Bolded means I read the most recent update today! Strikethrough means I’m caught up and waiting for an update. Plain text means I’ve fallen behind, or that I’m in the process of reading through it.

Original Webcomics:

Fan comics:

Bark and Bite | Blue Paladin’s Journey | SVTFOE Ship War AU | The Tale of Tashi and Nima | Wavelength AU

Manga/Print Comics:

Boku no Hero Academia | Boku no Hero Academia: Illegals | Providence | Sandman

#tal reads #bartimaeus trilogy #ptolemy's gate #the ring of solomon #jonathan stroud

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tashi-d0t-png · 7 months

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The skylanders subreddit has gone off the deep end after years worth of malnutrition💀💀💀

#This subreddit is slowly morphing into r/batmanarkham.#ask to tag #tashi screams into the wall #skylanders #People GENUINELY fell for the Clover clops post and thought it was real.

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fanfics4all · 3 years

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Banished

Request: Yes / No roan x reader (smut preferably) where you get banished from skaikru about a month in after landing on earth and you meet roan. since he’s wounded and you’re a healer you patch him up and end up travelling together and become rlly close?? idk i read your trick or treat fic and it was my favourite roan fic i’ve read (and i’ve read them all...no shame)😭 @szhead31

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Roan x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1735

Warnings: SMUT!

Y/N: Your Name

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

“What do you mean I’m kicked out?” I asked Clarke and Bellamy.

“Y/N, you’ve been a danger to the camp.” Bellamy said with his arms crossed.

“A danger? I’m a damn healer!” I shouted.

“And half of the people in our infirmary are because of you!” He shouted back at me.

“Enough!” Clarke shouted, stopping anything before it started.

“Y/N, Bellamy’s right. You’ve been fighting everyone in camp and with the Grounders wanting to kill us, we need to think of the bigger picture.” She said and I scoffed.

“Ya know what? I don’t even care anymore. Screw all of you and I hope the Grounders kick your ass!” I shouted and stormed out of the dropship. I went to my tent and grabbed my shit then left without another word. Those assholes can kiss my damn ass.

*One Month Later*

I was out hunting in the snow. I don’t entirely remember how I got here, but I was alive so that’s all that matters. I had the perfect angle on the deer I was hunting when all of a sudden a scream scared it away.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I groaned. I decided that I should run and see who was screaming. Maybe someone from camp got lost and I could fix them up, it was the damn doctor in me… If I heal them maybe they’ll see I’m not as bad as everyone says I am! I pushed myself to run faster and found a man leaning against a tree with a serious wound in his stomach. I’m honestly surprised his guts weren’t falling out. I kneeled down by his side and quickly pulled out my supplies.

“Who are you?” He asked with a groan.

“I’m here to help, who are you? What happened?” I asked as I started to work on his stomach.

“I am Roan, Prince of Azgeda.” He answered then hissed in pain.

“Don’t move, I need to disinfect it before I stitch you up. Here, bite on this.” I said and pushed a cloth into his mouth. He bit down on it and continued my work. It took about a half hour to patch him up enough to get him somewhere safe.

“Where did you learn to do that?” He asked as we were walking through the forest.

“My Father was a doctor, he taught me everything I know.” I answered with a small smile.

“Your Father taught you well.” He said, returning my smile.

“Up ahead, there’s a small cabin I found, I’ve been staying there.” I said and pointed at the building ahead. He nodded and the two of us quickly but carefully made our way into the cabin. I laid him on the bed and checked his wound again.

“If you’re a Prince, what are you doing out here alone? Shouldn’t you have guards with you?” I asked.

“I was banished so my people could join with the Commander.” He said sadly.

“Your parents banished you?” I asked shocked and he nodded sadly.

“Why are you out here on your own?” He asked and I bit my lip.

“Same reason you are. I was banished because my people thought I was more dangerous than the Grounders.” I answered and his eyes widened slightly.

“Why?” He asked.

“I was a healer to my people, there weren’t many, but the two people that basically put themselves in charge kicked me out because I kept fighting people. Those people talked a lot of shit about me and I was just making sure they knew not to mess with me, turns out that putting your own people in the infirmary while at ‘war’ isn’t a great idea.” I half laughed.

“How long have you been out here?” He asked.

“About a month, maybe a little more.” I shrugged.

“You’re strong.” He smiled and his eyes slowly started to close.

“Get some rest, I’ll check on you in the morning.” I said and walked off to make myself food.

*Another Month Later*

Roan had healed well. He was strong and wanted to get better. He was actually a very good patient and did everything I asked of him. The two of us got to know each other while he was healing and he was amazing. At first he was pretty reserved and hesitant to let me into his life, but eventually he opened up to me. He was sweet with a very strong sense of loyalty. When he was finally better I thought he would just leave, which broke my heart at the thought, but he stayed. He explained to me how he was a bounty hunter and asked me to join him on his adventures. I had agreed, but we always ended up coming back to the cabin we now claimed as ours. The two of us knew we had developed feelings for one another, but we never fully confessed. Sure we acted like a couple, but it was never solidified. That was until we got snowed in our cabin with no way of leaving.

“I suppose it’s good that we got extra food yesterday when we were out.” I said and Roan smiled.

“I suppose you’re right.” He said and joined me in the bed. Roan pulled me towards him and I rested my head on his chest. We sat in silence, revelling in the warmth that our bodies gave to each other. After a few minutes Roan pulled my face up to look at him and he did something unexpected. He held my chin with two of his fingers and gently kissed me. I was breathless when he broke away, his eyes shining as he admired me.

“What was that for?” I whispered.

“I just finally got the courage to confess how I feel.” He said and I smiled with a slight blush dusting my cheeks.

“I feel the same way.” I said and kissed him again. The kiss started off as sweet and loving, but it quickly turned hotter. The two of us were feeling each other’s bodies and enjoying the feelings. When Roan dipped into my pants I pulled away.

“Wait, I’ve… I’ve never done this before.” I said, blushing deeply and looked away. Roan grabbed my face and made me look at him.

“Let me teach you. We’ll be nice and warm after.” He said with a small smirk. There was something about Roan that made me trust him with all of my heart.

“Okay…” I whispered. Roan pulled my shirt off and then my pants were quick to follow. My arms immediately went to cover my chest.

“What about you?” I asked. He smirked and rid himself of his clothing, naked. Roan gently pried my arms from my chest and smiled.

“Beautiful.” He hummed and kissed me, making my cheeks turn pink.

“No need to be shy, Y/N.” He promised. He gently pushed me to lay on the bed and his lips went to my chest.

“Roan…” I breathed, lacing my fingers into his brown hair. He pulled my underwear from me and looked up at me for consent. I gave him a small nod and he moved to my entrance. The sensation was overwhelming as his cock entered my pussy for the very first time. Delightful flashes of tingles coursed through my body. It felt amazing, until he broke through the one thing that indicated I was indeed a virgin. I grunted at the sharp burst of pain in my pussy. He held still, deep within me.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” He whispered in my ear. My breathing was fast and shallow as I felt my walls absorbing his shaft. The sharp pain dulled to an ache, but was slowly overcome by a heavenly feeling of fullness. The tingles from him pressing against my clit increasing as his body moved subtly with each of his deep breaths.

“It’s okay… I’m fine.” I finally whispered. Roan’s hips pulled back slowly, his gaze still concentrated on my face, probably looking for any signs of pain. He stopped with the head of his cock placed just in the entrance on my pussy. He teased me for only a moment, making me moan and grip the sheets.

“Please don’t tease.” I begged.

“Sorry love.” He said and pushed back inside me. One of his hands found my clit and I arched my back as he played with it. My muscles eased, allowing the pain to dissipate. Roan’s thrusts began to build pressure in my stomach and stars in my eyes. The soft pleasure washed over me with ease. My breaths were coming out in shallow stutters as I tried to hold back my orgasm. I was throbbing around Roan and he could feel every second of my building pleasure.

“Roan, fuck!” I choked out as I withered on the bed.

“Harder, harder please!” I begged, squeezing my eyes shut. Roan leaned down, capturing my lips in a messy but loving kiss as he did what I wanted. The ache in my every muscle released all at once. A shudder ran through my body as my orgasm took over me.

“You look so beautiful when you cum like that.” Roan praised, and it only made it better. Roan pulled my legs over his shoulders and hit a deeper spot inside me.

“Oh my God!” I shrieked. My back arched off the bed as Roan slid into me with the deep, angled thrusts. My moans were loud, escaping my lips with every other thrust he made. His hips rolled against mine with his hand still trying to pull another orgasm from me. I gripped the sheets tighter as I jolted upward from his powerful force.

“Oh fuck! Roan!” I screamed, pleasure bursting through my veins. I was cumming for a second time tonight.

“Oh Y/N!” He moaned as he came inside me. I whined when he pulled out of me. He gave a small chuckle and pulled me into him under the blanket.

“Warmer?” He asked and I nodded.

“That was amazing.” I sighed happily.

“We can do that as often as you want.” He smiled and I captured his lips in a kiss.

“I think I want to do that all the time.” I said and he laughed.

“Whatever you want, my Princess.” He said and I smiled. This was what earth was all about. This was my new start.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @emo-godess-loves-you @now-imagine @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @vanessa-kom-skaikru

#The 100 #the 100 imagine #the 100 smut #king roan #roan the 100 #roan x reader #roan x fem!reader #fanfic #request #roan smut #king roan x reader #king roan x fem!reader #king roan smut #Smut

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