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muchosbesitos · 5 months

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omg your miguel stories are tew good plz stop encouraging my obsession💀 but just in case you dont wanna listen👀... is there anyway you can do a one shot of miguel being like a laid back sugar daddy/just spoils the absolute shit out of us without giving a fuck PLEASE🙏🏾

anywaysssss love you and i wish you all the best<3

million dollar man

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: age gap (reader’s in college while miguel’s in mid thirties), handjob, and semi-public fingering

author’s note: i loved writing this request sm so thank you for allowing me to indulge 😩 wishing you the best too <33

word count: 4.8K

The rules of the website had practically imprinted in your brain with how many times you reread them- no cat-fishing relationships or scams, no low-quality photos, and to not be abusive. The rules seemed pretty simple but you couldn't help but hesitate to accept the terms, your hand hovering the cursor. "Oh fuck, just click it already," you mumbled to yourself, accepting the small box on the right corner of the screen after a couple seconds of hesitation. Your screen flooded with what seemed to be hundreds of older men, most of them actively seeking out for a sugar baby in exchange for some kind of service in return.

You'd been wanting to sign up for a sugar daddy website after noticing how empty your pantry was, a couple ramen packets sitting on the counters collecting dust. While you knew that you could be living much worse, you couldn't help but want more than eating the same food everyday. With the amount of student debt that you were crumbling under, you couldn't afford to make extravagant purchases. The job that you had managed to sustain you for your basic needs, but you were tired of simply just floating above the debt line. You found yourself with the desire to have more.

You decided to accept on the terms of the website and set up a profile, but you couldn't bring yourself to explore the options available. You stepped aside from the computer, rubbing over your eyes as you debated the reality of the situation.

You didn't have much time to regret your decision though, your phone alarm ringing with the reminder that you had to be getting ready for work soon. You shut off your computer, deciding to face the consequences of your actions at a much later time when you weren’t running late. After putting on the uniform for the ice cream shop that you worked at, you made your way out the house out to the parlor.

"I don't really see what the problem is with having a sugar daddy. You deserve more than what this place pays," one of your coworkers, Luna, told you as the two of you cleaned up the spoons from the previous shift. "You don't think I'm being a gold digger by doing it?" You asked her, wanting to get some kind of reassurance about the doubts that'd been clouding your mind since you'd joined the website.

She shrugged, walking over to take the order of an elderly woman that walked in. "If they know what they're getting into, I don't think it constitutes as being a gold digger. They know that the relationship is purely transactional," she responded to your question after the woman stepped away with her vanilla cone.

Her words rung through your mind as you sat down in front of your computer after getting off work, deciding to explore the options that were available. Most of the names shown on the website were some of Nueva York's most prominent businessmen, their name plastered onto some of the most successful buildings in the state.

You'd expected for most of the profiles to be senile men who were in the middle of a life crisis, instead getting men in their mid forties to sixties. Your nose scrunched up as you clicked through some of their profiles, most of them coming up as married with the description of 'wanting discreet fun.'

You were about to give up on your search for the night when you stumbled upon a profile of a man in his mid-thirties, one of the youngest men you'd seen in the fifteen minutes of scrolling. Miguel O'Hara. His profile revealed to you that he was divorced, his description being that he sought out for someone to spend time with in exchange for monitory compensation, a clear difference between his profile and the others you'd encountered.

To say that he was an easy swipe right was an understatement, your finger almost snapping off from how fast you clicked on your mouse. Not only was his persona more endearing than those you'd encountered, he was one of the more handsome men you'd had seen. You didn't think too much of the swipe, your eyes widening in surprise as you got the notification that it was a match.

You spent about a week talking to him about what could be expected out of the arrangement before he suggested that he take you out to a dinner. His reasoning behind the spontaneous date was that he simply wanted to see how the two connected outside of text, get a feeling of what type of person you were. As you waited for the day of the dinner to arrive, you couldn't help but be filled with anticipation and excitement.

You'd even gotten up early the day of to plan out your outfit ahead of time so you wouldn't have to do so after class, choosing to wear a pair of jeans that weren't too distressed with a black top. Scenarios of how the dinner would go riddled your mind throughout the day, your focus of what was on the board diminishing with every second that you were in the classroom.

You showed up to dinner half an hour late due to the subway not arriving at its designated time, easily finding Miguel through the crowds of people. not only was the tallest one in the room, he was also the one with the nicest attire in the place. The black button down shirt he had on accentuated the bulging muscles underneath, the material flexing to fit around him perfectly and the black slacks that he had on fit his legs to perfection.

You caught a whiff of his cologne when he stood up to shake your hand, the pure scent of him reeking of money. He pulled the chair back for you, waiting for you to take a seat before he sat back down. You couldn't help but notice how well he filled out the seat, the pure presence of him almost demanding to be seen.

"Sorry I'm late, the subway got delayed," you started off, wondering just how long he'd been here waiting for you to show up. "While I do appreciate punctuality, I understand," he responded, handing you one of the menus from the table. You picked up the menu, noticing that none of the prices were on there but rather just what the meals had to offer.

A waiter came by a couple minutes later to take the orders, Miguel ordering steak with mashed potatoes and a red wine. "I'll just get the grilled chicken with water, please," you told the waiter, handing them your menu along with Miguel’s. They nodded and stepped away, the only sound at the table being the classical music playing throughout the restaurant.

You looked down at the plate of food dumbfounded, wondering how exactly it was that rich people got full. You were half expecting for the waiter to announce that it was a prank, to come back and fill up your plate. Upon realizing that the two bites that were placed on your plate was the whole meal, you reluctantly took a bite out of it.

"So, the terms of our arrangement would be pretty simple. I'd provide you with the funds that you deem appropriate and you would provide me with your company. I'm not expecting any kind of sexual favors in return, but I wouldn't be opposed to it if you had the desire to," he told you, his tone casual as if he were just having another business arrangement. You almost choked on the water you were sipping, setting the glass back down.

"So what you're saying is that you don't want to have sex with me unless you and I wanted to," you repeated back to him, raising a brow as he nodded. "Do you mind if I ask why?" The question came out of you without much thought, his brows furrowing in exchange. You thought he wasn't going to respond to the question as his silence turned deafening, the room seeming to rise in temperature with every second that passed. "I’m looking for this certain kind of arrangement because I know what to expect from this. My daughter passed away a couple months ago and it helped me to realize that no amount of money that I have will keep anyone next to me," he responded after a couple of minutes, his words coming out with a certain kind of precision as he spoke.

You stayed quiet as you let the words stick in your brain, wondering just what exactly it was that made this man so closed off to the world. You wanted to ask him more questions, but you figured that they weren't appropriate for the setting or the arrangement that was being discussed.

"I'd start off with giving you a short allowance for now, $500 a week just to get you started. It'll increase the more that we spend time together, a little bonus if we have to show up to an event together. Obviously, iId take care of the expenses of your outfit," he added, his red eyes boring into yours like they wanted to see through your very being. “That all sounds very promising, but I think I need some time to think about it if you don't mind," you finally spoke up, watching as his eyebrows bunched up before he nodded.

"You look unsatisfied by the meal. Was it not up to your liking?" He asked after you finished up with your meal, placing a couple hundred dollar bills on the table. "No, the meal was good. thank you," you told him, giving him a tight smile as you got up from the dinner table once the waiter came over to the table. "So if it was good, why do you look unhappy?" He pushed the question further, his eyes locked on you as the two of you headed out of the restaurant.

"Like I said, there wasn't anything wrong with the food. the portions were just a bit.. questionable," you responded, your voice dropping towards the end like you were admitting something taboo. You were expecting for him to protest after what he'd just paid, not the small chuckle that escaped from his lips.

Miguel took you to a burger joint in Brooklyn, stating that 'no other place could do it quite the same.' You'd ordered yourself a burger and fries along with a milkshake, Miguel getting the same thing as you. "Thank you for saying something, the whole meal felt like an appetizer," he told you as the two of you sat down with your trays, the juiciness from the burger looking more inviting than the piece of chicken you'd eaten earlier.

"How do you rich people put up with eating like that?" You asked him, almost moaning at the taste of the burger once you took a bite. "Most of them do cocaine if I'm being frank. I normally don't eat out unless I need to so it's few times I have to subject myself to that," he explained, watching as you stole some of his french fries with amusement.

Despite the initial awkwardness that'd been present throughout the dinner, you couldn't help but enjoy talking to him as the night progressed. His dry humor was something that you were growing to like, the way that he seemed to have a response for everything that you asked/told him.

He was honest and direct, not in a way that he used to excuse what some might deem as 'rude', but in a way that seemed genuine and vulnerable. He'd taken you home after the two of you had finished up, saying that it was too dangerous for you to be taking the subway alone at this hour. You watched as he pulled out of your house, a small smile on your face as he drove away.

The doubts about the arrangement crawled back into your brain once you were alone, absentmindedly reaching over for your laptop and signing in. You weren't sure what exactly it is that you sought out for, maybe some kind of reassurance that he wouldn't get bored with you or start expecting for you to act a certain way around him.

You opened up your browser, deciding to read a Reddit thread about the experiences that some others had as being sugar babies. While some of them described the experience as something pleasant, a few posts lingered about some other girls that had a bad encounter with their sugar daddy. You decided to close your computer after a couple minutes, coming to the realization that Miguel was nothing like the men described in those awful experiences and the decision to say yes had never been so obvious before.

You weren't sure when it was that you started seeing Miguel as more than a provider, seeing him as someone that you cared about beyond what he was giving you. He'd kept true to his promise, his daily allowance now being $700 with the time that the two of you spent together. You'd started to seek him out for the littlest things that you had to do, such as going out on grocery runs or going out for lunch.

When you'd asked him to go to the grocery store with you, you'd managed to deny the growing attraction that was slowly starting to build up by simply telling yourself that you were using him since he was able to reach the top shelf. But the more that you gave a thought about where the relationship between the two of you was headed, the more that you were certain that you couldn't live with yourself if he wasn't present in your future.

You went over to his house after feeling overwhelmed with your final exams coming up, hoping that he would just be able to spare a couple minutes and hold you. "What's wrong?" He asked once he opened the door, exhaustion and anxiety coating your features. "I just need you," you responded back to him, his face softening just the slightest bit before he opened the door to let you in.

He guided you over to his couch, his hand wrapping around your shoulders as he stroked your upper arm. The two of you stayed silent for a while, simply staring at the fireplace ahead of you. "I hope I didn't disturb you," you spoke up, knowing how busy he was.

"You could never disturb me. I like having you around, you're more tolerable than the people I work with," he responded, his thumb lazily drawing circles on your arm. "I'll take that as a compliment," you murmured, leaning against him as you felt the combined heat from his body and the fireplace lulling you into a sense of peace and security. "You should. What's got your little head all worked up anyways?" He inquired, the flame from the fireplace flickering in his eyes as you looked up at him.

"I have finals coming up. And I can't really afford to fail, otherwise I'll get my scholarship taken away. I don't know, I guess I'm just anxious knowing how much is on the line," you told him, realizing just how silly your concerns sounded out loud. “I can help you out if you’re really that stressed out about them,” he suggested after a couple seconds, the movements on your arm coming to a stop. "How about this. if you pass your finals, I'll take you on a little trip to Cabo to celebrate. We'll go on a mall spree beforehand to get you ready."

True to his word, Miguel had the tickets set up for the weekend which you would be done with finals. He'd been the first person that you told about passing them, hearing him say that he was proud of you felt like an even bigger accomplishment especially after he dedicated some of time towards helping you review.

"I knew that you could do it, you're so smart," he'd told you once you shared the news with him, his big arms enveloping you in a hug as he held you close to him. It was the first time he'd hugged you, the feeling strange to the both of you as he did. The act felt unpracticed, something he hadn't done in a long time with the way that his arms awkwardly wrapped around you. Despite that minor detail, you felt invincible as he held you like nothing could touch you.

"I'm thinking about getting my nails done. Which set do you think would look better?" You asked, handing him your phone with the Pinterest board of designs you'd saved. He grabbed his glasses from his case, putting them on the bridge of his nose as he peered down at your phone.

"Isn't it all the same just in different colors?" He noted, scrolling through your phone as he tried to find a difference in the multitude of designs you'd saved. "There's somewhat of a difference in there, it's pretty subtle since I just tend to go for what i'm familiar with," you responded, putting on your seatbelt as you waited. The two of you were heading out to the mall, but you'd come up with idea of getting your nails done after getting in the car.

Miguel ended up liking a simple red design with some gemstones on the pointer and ring finger so you gave the reference photo to the lady doing your nails. You watched as she put on the gemstones with precision, your eyes flicking over to Miguel as he waited for you in the lobby.

If he was uncomfortable in this setting, he didn't show it as he scrolled through the People magazine available. You turned your attention back to your nails, an idea sparking up in your head as she started to put on the final touches to the gem design. "Do you mind putting an initial on my ring finger?" You asked her before it was too late, waiting for her to agree before you told her what letter you wanted on there.

Your hand rested on his pants as he drove, his eyes flicking down to the design and slightly widened as he noticed the small 'M' on your ring finger. "What'd you do that for?" He asked, his attention turning back to the road after a couple moments of shock. "Figured it would be a nice little detail since you were so generous in paying for them," you responded, sliding down his zipper with a bit of difficulty as you adjusted to the feeling of the acrylic once more.

You watched as he let out a shaky breath, his eyes remaining on the road ahead. "I'm driving," he warned you as you started to palm him through his boxers. "So keep your eyes on the road, Miguelito. Just feel," you reiterated, your hand squeezing around his cock slightly. “Ay Dios, nos vas a matar.” (oh god, you’re going to kill us)

You watched as he retrained himself as he drove, knuckles starting to turn white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. You picked up some of the precum leaking out through the tip of his reddened cock, lathering all over the shaft as a form of lubrication. Your hand moved with ease up and down his semi-hardened length, his cock getting harder with each tug that you gave him.

He let out a small hiss as he felt one of your nails brush up against the underside of his cock, the area a bit sensitive for him. He'd pay for your nails hundreds of times over and over if it meant he got to see them wrapped around his cock with his initial on them.

You pulled your hand once Miguel was nearing the mall, drying your hand of the sticky residue with a piece of tissue paper he had in the glove box. "Now you decide to stop?" He asked, maneuvering his way into the parking lot with such ease, parking in reverse in what seemed to be mere seconds. If it were up to you, you would've taken about twenty minutes to do the task before eventually giving up.

Your attention went back to the bulge in his pants, his cock still hard from your previous ministrations. "Well, maybe you'll get more motivated to get out of the mall now," you suggested, getting out of the car as you dusted off your attire. Miguel rolled his eyes as he followed behind you throughout the mall, his hand making the slightest contact with yours.

You stumbled into a Gucci store after a while of walking through the mall, immediately drawn into the designs of the bags. You looked around, one of them in particular catching your eye. The design of the bag was beautiful yet simple, a black leather handbag in the shape of a heart. Your eyes widened as you looked at the price tag attached, your hands making quick work to return it to the shelf.

Before you could get the chance though, Miguel grabbed your hand and turned your attention to him. "What's wrong with the bag? You don't like it?" He asked as he looked at you, expecting for some kind of reasonable answer. "No, there's nothing wrong. it's just expensive," you responded, avoiding eye contact with him as you stepped away from the shelf.

"Well, how much is it?" You heard him ask behind you before you got the chance to walk away too far, his hands reaching up for the purse. "It's almost five grand and that's not including tax. It's fine, I don't need a pu-," you started off but you got quickly interrupted when Miguel called over a sales associate to get him the bag from the back. "I thought you said it was expensive, mi cielo," he simply stated before he went off to check out with the associate that had the bag in a dust bag, taking his black amex card from his pocket as the transaction processed. You stood behind, watching as he paid for the bag with seemingly no hesitation.

The rational side of you threatened to come out, wanting to tell him that he could be spending those five thousand on something other than a bag, but you pursed your lips and watched the scene unfurling in front of you. You remembered the whole point of why'd you even joined the sugar daddy website, wanting the opportunity at having nice things.

"You may not need a purse, but your eyes practically lit up when you saw this one. I'm here so you don't have to resign to that disappointment that you've grown used to," he told you as the two of you walked out of the store, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Well, thank you. I really did like the bag,” you told him, leaning up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. You walked around the mall, eyes glancing around the different stores before eventually walking into Nordstrom.

You picked out a couple pieces for the trip that you'd need, such as a couple dresses, skirts, and bikinis for the warm weather you’d be exposed to. Miguel went with you to the fitting rooms, sitting down on the couches outside as he waited for you to finish up. You'd changed into the shirt and skirt that you'd pulled into the dressing room, looking at yourself reflected on the body-length mirror.

You couldn't deny that the skirt made every part of your legs look good, from your thighs to your ass. Even though you were confident that Miguel would end up liking it, you still decided to call him in to get his opinion. He opened up the door as discretely as he could, glancing around to make sure that no associates were nearby as he stepped inside.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh as the giant of a man in front of you was rendered speechless, eyes raking up and down your figure as he took you in. "Te ves tan hermosa dressed like that," he finally spoke up after a couple seconds, his hands wrapping around your waist as he held you close to his body. (you look so gorgeous)

You weren't completely sure what the first part of his sentence meant, but you could guess that it was something good based on the tone of endearment that he used and the way that he couldn't keep his hands off you. "Can you be quiet for me?" He asked, looking at you through the mirror as his hands splayed on your stomach. The question sounded more like he was telling you to be quiet, so you simply nodded along and watched him sit down on the small stool.

Miguel placed you down on his clothed thigh, your legs spread out for him as your back fell flush against his toned chest. His hand made his way down your body, your skirt being pushed up as he did so. He cupped your clothed cunt, the expense of his hand capturing most of it.

"You look so pretty when you're all like this. All needy and just for me," he murmured into your ear, one of his hands holding you in place as the other one slid the black pair of panties you'd chosen to wear. One of his fingers went inside your cunt, the tightness of your walls engulfing it completely as he pushed it deeper inside of you. Your slick coated his finger as he opened you up in a way that only he could, reaching places that even some of your toys couldn't reach.

"Excuse me, but do you need some help in there? you've been in there for an awful long time," an associate called out, knocking on your door. Your eyes widened at the prospect of getting caught in this position, a small muffled gasp making its way out of you. "No, the dress is just stuck," you called out, hoping your voice didn't come out as needy as it sounded to your own ears.

"Well I can come in there and help you out. Sorry, it's just that we have a line forming," the associate told you, her hand coming to the doorknob and slightly shaking it as if she were trying to open it. Her attempts failed since the door was still locked on your end, the rattling of the knob stopping a couple seconds later.

You were half expecting him to remove his hand, but his fingers remained deep inside of your cunt as he looked down at you. "You weren't playing fair in the car so why should I have to play fair?" He spoke just low enough for you to hear, a hint of amusement as he spoke. You struggled to keep your voice even as you spoke, resisting the urge to just go ahead and let a moan rip out.

"Uh no, thank you though. It's just a zipper but it's almost off," you told the sales associate, letting out a small sigh of relief as the clacking of her heels retreated from the dressing rooms. Miguel pushed another one of his fingers into your cunt, moving them in a scissoring motion before he curled them upwards to reach that spot inside of you.

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt his thumb make contact with your clit, the nub already starting to stimulate just by the touch of his finger. You felt your clit throb against his fingers as he rubbed small circles on it, the rhythm in sync with the fingers he was pushing inside of you.

Your back flushed against his chest as you felt yourself getting closer to that sweet release of euphoria, your shaky breaths and whimpers getting muffled as you pressed the palm of your hand against your mouth. Just as you were approaching that all too familiar release, Miguel pulled his hands away quickly.

You were about to protest before remembering what you'd done in the car, the words dying in your throat as you got up from his lap. "Touché," you mumbled as you started taking off the clothes that you'd been trying on, watching as he wiped his hand off on a handkerchief. Miguel covered up your body with his as he stepped out of the dressing room, closing the door quickly afterwards.

"Sorry about that, she called me into help her with the zipper. stupid thing wouldn't budge," you heard him speak outside, surely talking to the associate who must be growing impatient with every second that you spent inside. You stepped back into your clothes, carrying the choices that you'd picked out as you went to go join Miguel at the checkout line.

Needless to say, the attire that you'd showed Miguel proved to be a definite yes. He gladly paid for the rest of your clothes, not batting an eye as the total came out to be two thousand. "Thank you for the excellent customer service. The concern that you show for your consumers is truly admirable," he noted as the associate handed him back his card, a small smirk creeping up on his lips as he also received the shopping bag. The two of you made your way out of the store, completing the small checklist that the two of you had made for what was needed in order to have a successful trip.

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orindas · 2 years

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#growing up is being 20 days away from turning 18 and sitting in bed under your baby blanket #listening to gay country music while depressed for no reason #wishing that you hadn’t had to skip therapy this week #while trying to get the fucking federal student loan page to load so that you can pay your tuition bill #for your first year of real college that you will be a second year student for #and you have anxiety about the loans you are going to have to take out #which gives you dread about whether or not you will get a job you are happy with that can sustain you #which then makes you anxious about the state of the world and how uncertain the future is #and you kind of just want to embrace the whole small town small world life and work as a barista server and later bartender #and just make the best life you can with what you have #it feels like fewer uncertainties #I just want to wear a slightly blasphemous cross earring with my dyke aesthetic and pronoun pins #I want to live life true #ajcjkcjsjdkfkdks #to quote me at work the other night I’m just our here with a rag some bleach and a dream #cecil speaks #ellis talks #megs mind #ask to tag #I’m going to finish this fucking loan stuff and then I’m going to make soemthing vaguely nutritious for lunch and eat my stupid cookies #and go to work and stop thinking

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ukrfeminism · 4 months

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Music colleges and conservatoires are deterring women and girls from playing “masculine instruments” such as drums and trumpets, a parliamentary report laying bare sexism in the music industry has revealed.

Female students are “cat-called in rehearsals”, held to a higher standard with “masculine” instruments and being told they cannot play properly if “they didn’t sit with their legs open”, the report states.

The Misogyny in Music report by parliament’s women and equalities committee found female musicians faced “endemic” discrimination in the industry which they described as a “boys’ club where sexual harassment and abuse is common”.

A series of female musicians and DJs including Annie Macmanus, Rebecca Ferguson and Katie Waissel gave evidence to the committee about discrimination and abuse they had witnessed or experienced.

Waissel, the former X Factor contestant, told the inquiry how “at the age of 16, she was grabbed by a much older man and placed on his lap in the recording studio while they were reviewing the track she was recording”.

The report found that many female performers who had been the victims of “discrimination, harassment and abuse” continued to be silenced through the widespread use of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs).

It said: “Women in the music industry have had their lives ruined and their careers destroyed by men who have never faced the consequences for their actions.

“People in the industry who attend award shows and parties currently do so sitting alongside sexual abusers who remain protected by the system and by colleagues.”

The report went on: “Much of the evidence we received has had to remain confidential, including commentary on television shows and household names.

“That is highly regrettable but demonstrates the extent of the use of NDAs and the culture of silence.”

The report outlined gender disparities throughout the industry. For example, less than 5 per cent of the producers or engineers on the top streamed tracks in 14 genres were female or non-binary, while of all the songwriters and composers who received a royalty in 2020, only one in six were female.

It also pointed out that the record label departments charged with finding new talent were dominated by men, concluding: “Women have significant additional barriers to pass to get a foothold in the music industry and must navigate acts of passive aggression, ridicule and misogyny to have a sustainable career.

“Female artists are routinely undervalued and undermined, endure a focus on their physical appearance in a way that men are not subjected to, and have to work far harder to get the recognition their ability merits. Despite increases in representation, discrimination and misogyny remain endemic.”

The committee also called for music colleges, conservatoires and other educational establishment “to do more to address the gendering of instruments, roles and genres.”

Its members heard that “in many cases women are discouraged from playing certain instruments at all’, with one witness saying: “There is this idea that if you’re a girl you can’t play the drums, or if you’re a girl you can’t play the trumpet really loudly because it will make you look ugly.”

The report said that the Musicians’ Union had described female students being “cat-called in rehearsals”, “made to feel uncomfortable by male lecturers” and being told “they couldn’t play their instrument properly if they didn’t sit with their legs open in orchestra rehearsals”.

Caroline Nokes, the Conservative MP who chairs the committee, said “endemic misogyny … has persisted for far too long within the music industry.”

She added: “A shift in the behaviour of men — and it is almost always men — at the heart of the music industry is the transformative change needed for talented women to quite literally have their voices heard and be both recognised and rewarded on equal terms.”

#Articles #community #mvawg

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why-animals-do-the-thing · 1 month

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If you don’t mind sharing, since you don’t work for a zoo what is your job situation like? Making a living while working at a definitely zoo seems tricky. Is your main income zoology/animal related or is that more of a side thing?

Sincerely,

- a curious zoology student

I have a (mostly) unrelated jobjob - I’ve never actually been affiliated with a single facility, unless you count college internships before I started this blog. I freelance, working as a science media fact-checker and taking paid research contracts occasionally. I do work on a lot of animal / biology related fact-check content, but it’s not my entire scope of work. I also have the privilege of having family assistance, as I have chronic health issues that interfere with the normative 9-5 grind.

Everything I do in terms of blog writing/research, zoo industry research and publication, and photography is unpaid and pretty much a hobby at this point.

Prior to the pandemic I was trying to find funding for the intra-industry research and public-facing outreach I was doing, but there was never any money for it. (The industry is very used to expecting labor from young women for free. There was and is a lot of interest in the work I do, but the number of people/orgs that have ever provided compensation or financial support is in the single digits). The pandemic actually gave me the chance to pivot to focusing on professional fact-checking.

The only funding I get for any of this work is through a somewhat defunct Patreon I set up years ago when I was trying to make this blog / scicomm a full time gig. I’m terrible at updating it, and I’m conflicted enough about that to have been considering deleting it entirely. (For those of you who have stuck it out despite the radio silence, you’re incredible. You’ve facilitated the donation of my time to write a really cool paper with a zoo disaster response org, which will hopefully get through peer review soon).

To make something like this blog and everything else I do in the field actually financially sustainable, I’d need to fundraise and market more. The thing about a fact-checking career, though, is that it’s reinforced the need to make sure everything I write/say publicly is completely and 100% correct - because that level of rigor is what supports my professional reputation! Which means I’m slow to produce research and reticent to talk about it before it’s finished. My work comes out all the better for it, but it doesn’t fit into a content model that produces revenue.

So yeah, all of this is a side thing that I fit in around my paid work and my health. Because sometimes I just need to go see a tiger and smell an elephant, y’know?

#personal information #zoo job almost always require multiple incomes or family support #or generational wealth #otherwise you live in poverty #I am on a very non traditional industry path and it definitely does not pay either #but it’s a passion project

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thelarriefics · 4 months

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UNIVERSITY FIC REC, Part II: Below you will find more fics that take place in college. (Part I)

📖 Underneath It All by @peachypetalhazz (394k)

Enemies to friends to lovers AU where Louis is a cliché bad boy that Harry can’t seem to get rid of.

📖 there's no fair in farewell by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (218k)

When Harry and Louis, two Cupids who have been bringing people together for decades, are tasked with making Soulmates Liam and Zayn fall in love, it proves to be much harder than expected. But maybe, just maybe, that isn’t such a bad thing after all.

📖 blue moon by @aquietlarrie (152k)

or the self indulgent 50’s au where i wanted a safe space to explore the culture, history, and sexuality of being gay in a time when it was extremely difficult to do so. includes, lots of questionable dancing, healing your inner child, and one heck of an emotional ride.

📖 Never Be by @cherrystreet (117k)

The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

📖 Pour Your Heart Out by @hrrytomlinson (92k)

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

📖 knock knock, i love you by @thelovejandles (86k)

Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

📖 Are There Second Chances? by @kissyboystyles (85k)

the most eventful twenty-four days of Louis Tomlinson's college career.

📖 A Distant Hazy Light by @greenfeelings (76k)

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down. Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

📖 Bikestrike by @thinlinez (68k)

What would you do if you saw someone riding your bike, which had been stolen weeks before, across campus? Omega Harry chose to show no mercy. He didn't know it would all lead him to his own demise.

📖 always you (i should have known) by @28goldens (60k)

or the one where harry and louis cant stand each other and fake date to make someone jealous.

📖 Start A Revolution From My Bed. by @rainbowsandlovehl (57k)

Louis is ready to live on his own, in a dorm, in a new city. He is ready to make new friends, have fun and study a little. But he is not ready for Harry, his pretentious roommate who is out to ruin Louis' sleep and make his dorm life a complete hell.

📖 Love's On The Line, Is That Your Final Answer? by @moonhusbands (54k)

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand. Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything. Obviously.

📖 The First Year by @parmahamlarrie (46k)

When Louis Tomlinson was assigned a first year student to be his roommate for his final year at the University of Manchester, his expectations were low. All he needed was a cheap place to sleep and keep his stuff amidst his nights out, willing his brain to forget his past. He never expected Harry Styles to become his eclectic, sweet, and cuddly best friend. That was never the plan.

📖 your lips in the low light by @givesuethemoon (20k)

Set over the course of one night, at one fateful frat party. Louis and Harry find that there are not many things they will ever need more than each other.

📖 getting yourself wet for me by @dreamersdivin-headfirst (10k)

frat boys take on watersports

📖 my heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck (i'm in love now) by @bottomhaztoplou (8k)

Five times Louis gives Harry a courting gift and one time Harry reciprocates.

📖 Hea(van) Is A Place on Earth with You by @insightfulinsomniac (6k)

University students Harry and Louis want to spend some alone time together — the problem is, both of their respective roommates are fast asleep. Harry solves that problem with some blankets, a secluded parking space, and his beloved beater van, Belinda.

📖 Lost In This Craze For You by @larrysballetslippers (4k)

Louis thinks he is incapable of making his boyfriend come, but Harry just needs a little more from him.

#masterpost #university fics #hlcreators #1dsource #hljournal

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grison-in-space · 2 months

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Watching the new Alex Jones doc, which is heavy on the alt right response to Sandy Hook and the gun rhetoric that followed... so yeah I thought of when I was teaching during #GunFreeUT back in 2015 as a PhD student in Austin. I would have been about 25. When people came to my workplace and the state said that the students had been complaining* about how frightened they were to be away from their firearms for twenty minutes. When the entire campus was newly declared acceptable for open carry of ducking semiautomatic rifles. The undergrad who organized #CocksNotGlocks, who accurately pointed out that state obscenity laws banned sex toys in public to appeal to people's comfort and sensibilities, but would not consider such a thing for deadly weapons. As I recall, she drew massive waves of harassment from random people who were actual alt right adults with jobs and lives, not college students. I think she had to take a gap year.

*in fact the law was extremely unpopular among the UT Austin student body, most of who were horrified by having to confront the possibility of deadly weapons belonging to fuck only knows whom in not only their workplace but their homes.

I remember standing in a room for staff resistance through #GunFreeUT, the smell of the room, the texture of the cotton shirt I wore. The hastily organized attempts to carve out any freedom we could. The horrified stipulations about whether firearms could be kept out of classrooms themselves if not campuses (no), and the fretful whispers about what the state had declared about our offices, how we were going to be able to declare them gun free zones... If we agreed that students with concealed carry licenses could choose to meet with us somewhere where the gun was allowed to go. The group that announced it was going to celebrate its new open carry status by staging a school shooting on campus, the shooter of course to be played by a "good guy with a gun." The university announcing that they had interceded and made clear to the group that this re enactment could not take place, so they kicked the demonstration a couple of blocks away. Happened at a local gas station.

I was still seeing sad flyers from office staff and teachers saying things like PLEASE NO GUNS IN THIS SPACE when I graduated with my PhD in 2020, the first winter the pandemic was in full swing. I remember the texture of the paper the last time I saw it vividly. I catch myself starting to think about the campus school stabbing I would teach through in 2017 and any one of a hundred more rearguard final stands between the city and the state and—

Okay, that's where I got up and walked off to get a soda. You're getting me now after I've had a minute.

That's a classic PTSD flashback, in case you're wondering. At no time do my senses report anything to my mind about anything unusual happening in the room. At no time, while I remember these things, do I believe that I am currently in danger for my life. It's a strong, vivid memory, but only a memory.

But it's a memory that grabs you by the mind and shakes you. That's a flashback. It's a classic simple PTSD flashback as a consequence of fear and stress sustained over time. Other folks around me who think maybe PTSD or maybe cPTSD applies to you, if you're hung up on not thinking you get anything like flashbacks?

That's what a flashback is from the inside. Your brain is running over the memory of the thing that forever changed your estimation of safety. Just in case you might forget.

Just, you know. In case anyone is wondering.

#ptsd #neurodivergence #trauma #politics #the horrors #alex jones

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haravath0t · 9 months

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Beautiful Stranger

(college au!alhaitham x f!reader - inspired by laufey’s “beautiful stranger”)

Alhaitham would be the type of man to double major. As a man that loves to see connectivity from the very root of things, he’d definitely be a History/Linguistics Major.

He’s definitely the type of man to just show up to classes and leave the minute the system says it should end. A lecture ends at 10:50 AM? He’ll be out the door the minute he sees his watch change numbers. If he finds his professor to be terrible on “rate my professor”? He’ll simply come on syllabus day and test days.

The man is busy! He surely would find a way to sustain himself. He’ll probably start off as a tutor in the student center to teach students within his majors. If there’s empty days, he’d surely be the type to simply catch up on his work.

His phone would be on “Do Not Disturb '' 90% of the time. The remaining 10% is due to an argument his roommate Kaveh strikes about not seeing emergency notifications. Not that taking off the mode would make a difference anyways. The only people actively contacting him are Kaveh or other classmates from pre-requisite classes like Tighnari or Cyno.

He practically graduates with perfect grades and a stellar GPA from undergrad. It’s almost astonishing how a man that’s rarely around manages to be graduating with Summa Cum Laude honors.

By the time he joins a master’s program, he’s seeming to be set on what he wants to do now. He doesn’t seem to enjoy tutoring all too much, so professor is out of the question. However, the idea of conservation and working on archives catches his interest. Preferably, a library preservation technician. Yes, a job with minimal communication, yet a close up look at documents that he has either studied or not? It seems almost ideal!

He has already found a path to graduating with a masters degree too, already having planned out how to tackle writing his thesis with ease unlike his peers. However, there’s been a string of inconveniences he’s been experiencing lately in his own place: Kaveh. Kaveh has been hammering away at making his own architectural models. While Alhaitham didn’t really see this as a dealbreaker of living conditions, he won’t deny how his precious sleep gets lost, even if his soundproof earpieces are on his ears.

Two weeks and no improvement, he decides to go against his usual decision making and decides to make a late night stop to the library of the university. He finds it to be easy enough; he lives quite near it, and certainly no one would be there. It’s almost perfect. He finds the floor with the study rooms, finding a desk with the outlets and sitting on it with what he considers a content look on his face. However, it’s when he takes a quick look around that he realizes that he’s not the only one. There’s you.

Now, you were definitely quite the sight. You were in the study room across his, the clear plexiglass separating you both. You two were technically facing each other, yet the laptops you two were typing away at were enough to cover most of what you two were doing. He saw you with a comfortable appearance of a sweatshirt and some sweats, your position on your chair quite comfortable as you hacked away at your own work. The only time he managed to fixate on your workspace was when he was deciding to stretch his arms. He took in all the formulas on your papers, all the charts and plots you’ve made, and the handwritten notes with long words and arrows between them. He saw the word “metabolic pathways” and deduced that you were a science major at the very least.

“Alright. Cool. Back to work.” He told himself. And he was working quite well. However, he wouldn’t lie, he found the way you studied to be quite amusing. He’s passed by a good amount of students in the library when he was tutoring. Some people were quiet and worked away, some people probably brought in food, some people even cried and slammed their laptops shut. However, you seemed to be in your own little world. You had your tablet being your own main source of brainstorming, you had your papers scattered by chapters, and you had brought some food for yourself and…coffee?

The sight of the huge cup slowly being drained by your constant sipping almost made him want to chuckle. Almost. His long fingers stayed idle as he watched you quietly mouthing the words to whatever song you had in your headphones, your head bopping along with the tune.

“Hmph.” He’d grunt, going back to his work. The next time he’d look up at you is when you went to tap him on the shoulder. “Excuse me?” A voice asks, making him take off an earpiece and look back. Sure enough, it’s “science lady”, as he has dubbed you. “Yes?” He asked. He wanted to look amiable enough for you to talk to him, but you saw his plain look on his face. He almost looked…unamused. You suddenly felt so embarrassed to disturb him at this ungodly hour. “Do you mind watching my stuff? I’m going to be using the bathroom.”

The question made him scoff before he realized: Why would he need to watch over it? Everyone looked like they’d be doing nothing of the sort, but still, seeing the look on your face made him realize it was an earnest question. And so, he decides to agree. Seeing your face brighten accompanied with an earnest thanks almost made him want to smile. Almost. He saw the way you briskly walked to the bathroom, which only amused him more.

The coffee only gets to you after how much you’ve been drinking it. Though, you couldn’t get over how cute this guy looked! Did he look kinda scary? Yeah, but you couldn’t deny that he looked quite cute. Though, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because you were cooped in your research lab so much that you found anything amusing nowadays, including this mystery guy. Still, he had interesting eyes, you had to admit it. You liked his shaggy silver hair, the way he casually came in and seemed so fixated on his work. What a shame it might be a one time thing. Oh, how did this library crush become part of your thoughts so quickly while you washed your hands.

You thank him as you return to your seat with a little thumbs up, and he only sends you a little smile back. You would be lying if you said that the little curve at the edge of his lip made you wanna squeal. What you didn’t see was that his green eyes were staring at you as you sat down, waiting for you to see a particular item. And you saw it, alright. He can tell just by the raise of your brows and your wide eyes. It was right on your keyboard of the laptop, a paper torn out of the corner of his notebook. His penmanship was quite remarkable, and the contents of it amused you: “Maybe a little water would be more efficient than that coffee you’re chugging, no?”

Alhaitham practically was curious to see how you’d react. He could only gauge your reaction from your eyes, seeing your hand reach for a piece of paper before your head disappears behind the screen. He didn’t know what you were thinking either when you passed back a paper to him. It was a blank page which only contained your handwriting: “My water bottle actually spilled on my way here.” Next to it was a little sad face next to it.

Now, Alhaitham wasn’t prepared for that type of wholesome response. In fact, he’s surprised that it went as well as it did. He saw you practically scurry back to your studying table with a tiny smile on your face, your eyes back to focusing on work. However, it did not go without you making a little scene of taking yet another sip of your coffee from your large cup. It didn’t occur to him till you gave him a tiny smile that he was stealing glances your way a little too much. He was long done with his workload for the night, yet something bolted him to his seat. There was something that kept him in this crowd of procrastinating students.

Though, it’s clear that you were trying to be diligent despite your antics. He couldn’t deny that he found the way your lips pout as you concentrated on an endearing sight, or that you were the one he’s been oddly eyeing in this busy space. He was a bit let down seeing that you wouldn’t be looking his way for a while. You didn’t look at anything but your work until a push of a chair is heard, the tall man is seen making his way out. Your eyes carefully watch him with some sort of melancholy stirring in your heart, wishing he stayed longer, or that he wrote even just one more note to you.

Little did you know that as Alhaitham kicks off his shoes at his house’s foyer, he’s left thinking of a particular science girl chugging on coffee, clinging onto the post-it with a particular someone’s scribbles and sad face. Little did you know that the man was thinking of an excuse to visit the library tomorrow night, wondering if you’d be there.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x f!reader #Alhaitham fluff #alhaitham 🌱#alhaitham #Alhaitham fanfic

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tightjeansjavi · 9 months

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Girl, I’ve never loved one like you

A/N: well, I have mixed feelings about this piece at the moment. I poured my heart and soul into this, and I hope everyone enjoys this story that truly touches home for me. In high school I always felt like an outcast because I wasn’t that girl that had a boyfriend, and I didn’t have dates to the school dances. I dreamed of having that magical prom night with the guy of my dreams. It never happened, and I moved on. Years later I sometimes wish I did get to experience that magical night. Well, now I get to, and it feels like a piece of my past is being healed. I know that not everyone will be able to relate to this experience, but I know there are those of you out there that will. Thank you for reading, and please be kind. 🩷

Pairing | AU high-school student! Joel Miller x high-school student! f! reader

~word count: 12.12k~

Summary: Senior Year, 1985, a month before prom and Joel Miller has yet to find himself a proper date, until he and Tommy stop in for a late night bite at your parents diner, and everything changes. Joel Miller gives you a prom night of your dreams that you’ll never forget…18 years later, you’re running into each other at the very same diner you first met.

Warnings: fluff, young love, meet-cute, injuries sustained from falling out of the bed of Joel’s truck, (please buckle up it’s the law) alcohol consumption, smoking, implied smut, right person wrong time, some negative feelings, reader gets harassed by a guy, Joel steps in, Joel is a total sweetheart, friends to lovers, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, reader’s nickname is darlin’ (+18) minors dni!

main masterlist

A truck door slams, gravel crunches under the weight of heavy worn boots as two teenage boys bicker.

“Ain’t you the least bit concerned about askin’ a girl to prom, Joel? It’s a month away, and you still haven’t asked a single gal? C’mon, what’s holdin’ ya back? Your mug ain’t as handsome as mine, but your charm oughta make up for it!” Tommy Miller was real good at getting under his brother's skin without even having to lift much of a finger.

“I ain’t concerned about findin’ myself a prom date cus’ I ain’t goin.’ It’s a silly dance that literally holds no personal value for me. I jus’ wanna graduate n’get out of this fuckin’ shit-hole town.” Joel gruffed a response back.

“Jus’ a silly dance? Brother, do ya hear yourself? It ain’t jus’a silly dance! For fuck sakes, it’s supposed t’be the night of our lives! One last hurrah before goin’ to college n’facin’ the real world.

The older by just a few months,Miller brother clenched his jaw tightly as he grinded his teeth together. He twirled his keys between his fingers absentmindedly. “Like I jus’ said, it’s jus’ a silly dance. Besides, even if I wanted to go, I ain’t have anyone in mind to ask. So can ya jus’ please drop it?” Joel grumbled as he grasped the handle to the diner door and swung it open.

“Well, that’s bullshit. I’m gonna make it my personal mission to find you a lucky gal to take to prom.” Tommy caught the edge of the door with his boot just as Joel tried to close it in his face.

“Yeah, lets not fuckin’ do that. I don’t need you findin’ me a prom date.” Joel snapped back as he shoved his hands deep into the worn out pockets of his worn out light-wash denim Levi’s.

Tommy snickered as he wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulder, “With an attitude like that, you ain’t gonna find a date. Dontcha worry, big brother, we’re gonna find ya a real nice gal.”

“I’m only a few months older than you, you fuckin’ hillbilly.” Joel grumbled under his breath.

“I’ll be with you boys in just a second! Do you want a booth or table?” You whizzed past the two brothers on your roller skates, holding a tray of burgers and fries above your head with ease. Your skates were light pink, with ruby red hearts stitched along the fabric. The laces were a creamy white color and there were three cherry-red heart beads on either side of the tied laces.

Joel cocked an eyebrow as you skated past without missing a step. He had half expected you to eat shit in those skates, but was thoroughly surprised that it didn’t happen. Even more so that the tray of food you were holding on the flat side of your palm, didn’t topple over.

“A booth would be great, thanks darlin.’” Tommy responded with a lopsided grin to which Joel immediately smacked him on the back of the head for.

“I thought you already asked Mackenzie Patterson to prom Tommy? I don’t think she’d appreciate it if she knew you were sendin’ heart eyes to another girl.” Joel lightly chuckled as he plopped down into the nearest booth that wasn’t occupied.

“Yeah, I did ask her but I wasn’t makin’ heart eyes at anyone.” Tommy flipped him off as he plopped down onto the other side of the booth.

“Uh-huh. Sure you weren’t.” Joel fought the urge to roll his eyes.

After grabbing two menus from the register, you glided over to your next customers with ease. It was easy work skating along the black and white checkered flooring. “Welcome to Patsy’s, here’s a couple menus for you, take your time, there’s no rush and whenever you’re ready, just give me a holler.” Your parents were more than willing to give you a job as a waitress at the diner they recently opened. You made decent tips, and for the most part, your job was pretty fun and easy-going for a highschool part-time job.

“Patsy’s, huh? Does that name hold any significant meanin’ to ya? Tommy inquired with genuine curiosity.

“Yeah, it’s actually named after my mom. It was my dad’s idea to name it after her. Pretty sweet, huh? Guess romance is truly alive and well.” Your response was light, and your smile was infectious. Joel didn’t want to admit it then, but your smile lit up the entire diner. It was brighter than the damn incandescent neon lights that flashed along the crystal clear windows.

“Romance is definitely alive and well. Awful sweet that your pops named this joint after your ma. Hey darlin’ you don’t happen to attend McCallum highschool, do ya? Never seen a pretty thing like you skatin’ around the halls.” Tommy effortlessly worked his sweet talk. It flowed out of his mouth like his own personal song. You already imagined that girls at school probably swooned at his very boots, just from his smooth Texas drawl alone.

It didn’t surprise you that a guy like Tommy Miller never noticed you in the passing period hallways. You kept to yourself for the most part. Being a teenager, let alone being a teenage girl was not easy in the slightest. You struggled to build friendships with girls in your class. They all would look at you funny when you participated in gym class, finished the homework on time and in their eyes, became the teacher's pet. You went to the mall with your mom and spent your weekends reading at home with your dog curled at your feet under a soft knitted blanket. You were happy..until you weren’t.

You couldn’t help but feel slightly envious towards the group of girls that went to the mall every Friday to buy a new outfit for whatever house parties were going on that weekend. You hadn’t even had your first sips of alcohol or tasted nicotine on your tongue. Truthfully? You felt like a loser because your highschool experience wasn’t exactly like the movies said it would be. Where the fuck was your Han Solo or Indiana Jones? Where was that one special guy to swoop in and sweep you off your feet, and single-handedly wipe out a quadrant of clone troopers with his blaster alone—

“Huh? Oh, highschool. Yeah, I’m a senior at Mccallum high.” You weren’t flustered over Tommy’s incessant style of flirting, you were flustered because you were thinking about Harrison fucking Ford.

“Don’t mind my brother. He’s a fuckin’ hillbilly, and our ma dropped him on his head when he was just an annoyin’ lil shit.” Joel’s eyes flitted up to yours over the top of the menu that was grasped between his hands. His Texas twang was deeper than his brothers, it had a distinguishable edge to it. Similar to the way that gooseflesh rises upon your skin when you hear something that is particularly delectable, and itches that figurative spot in your brain so good.

Did that make any sense? Who cares. All you could presently think about was how fuckin’ gorgeous this guy was. A total dreamboat, and you didn’t even know his name.

“It’s alright. I wasn’t offended or anything..but uh, can I get you guys something to drink maybe?”

“Yeah, you got any cherry cokes, darlin?’” Joel asked you casually.

“Cherry cokes? Yeah, of course! Coming right up.” You scribbled two cherry cokes onto your notepad before you skated away.

“That’s her.” Tommy uttered with a gleeful grin.

“What in the hell are you talkin’ about now?” Joel set his menu down with an annoyed sigh

“Brother, that’s the girl you’re goin’ to ask to prom.” Tommy gestured to the spot infront of the booth where you were just standing a few seconds prior.

“Her? No. I am not askin’ a total stranger to be my prom date.” Joel crossed his arms over his chest as he sank back into the cushioned seating of the booth.

“She ain’t a total stranger. She goes to our school! Never seen her around before, but does that really matter? She’s awfully pretty, and I bet you whatever I got in my wallet, she thinks you’re good lookin’ too. Take it from the guy who just knows what gals are interested in.”

“Do you ever fuckin’ think before you speak? Or does your brain not work the same way everyone else’s does? Again, she’s a stranger, and what makes you think she’d even want to go to prom with me, huh? Don’t be ridiculous Tommy.”

“No, you jackass. I just say whatever comes to mind and then make up the rest as I go. You’ll never know unless you try, big brother. Don’t act like I didn’t see the way you were lookin’ at her when she rode past in those skates. You were positively flabbergasted.”

“Yeah, cause I surely thought she was gonna eat shit on those things, and I was imagining the tray of burgers and fries smacking you right in your big-ass forehead.” Joel stifled a chuckle as Tommy leaned over the booth table and swatted his arm.

“You’re such a fuckin’ asshole sometimes I swear.”

“Yeah, well..you still love me so I can’t be that awful of a brother.”

Tommy was just about to reply with some snarky comment when you had skated back to the booth with two cherry cokes in hand, and placed them down in front of the brothers with two straws. “Are you guys ready to order, or do you need more time?”

“I think we’re all good here darlin.’ Thanks for bein’ a real peach. Now I’m gonna have the double bacon cheeseburger with crispy onion straws and a side of cheese fries..andmybrotherherewantstoaskyoutoprom.” Tommy blurted out suddenly, throwing you and Joel for a complete curveball.

Joel had just taken a sip of his cherry coke, and nearly spit it back into the cup as he glowered at his brother. He could feel the tips of his cheeks turning bright hot red as he sucked down a hefty sip of the sugary drink to hide his redness.

You felt like a deer in headlights as you scribbled down Tommy’s order as quickly as humanly possible. The heat was rising to your cheeks fast as you did your best to hide it. “Oo-Kay and for you?..”

“Jus’ a double cheeseburger and regular fries. Thanks, darlin.’” Joel presented you with his order without making eye contact as he was too busy thinking of all the ways he wanted to brutally murder Tommy with his bare hands. He was kind enough to grab both menus and hand them back to you with the tiniest reassuring nod.

“Coming right up!” You squeaked out before scurrying back to the kitchen area to put the order in.

“You’re fuckin’ dead, Tommy. Dead as a fuckin’ door nail I swear to god—”

“Look, I’m doin’ this for your own good Joel. You’re a sour puss, grumpy son of a bitch 99% of the time and you’re gonna grow a pair of goddamn balls and ask that girl out to prom. What’s the worst she could say? No? I don’t think she’s going to say no to you.”

“For fuck sakes..there’s a way to go about these things! Poor girl looked like a deer in fuckin’ headlights cus’ of your fuckin’ big ass blabber mouth.”

“A cute deer though.”

“My god, you are fuckin’ hopeless.” Joel uttered with an unenthusiastic sigh.

You were counting out your tips for the evening at the front register when Joel Miller sauntered up. His demeanor was casual, yet by the way his hands were shoved deep in his pockets, you could tell he was nervous..but perhaps even embarrassed?

“Hey darlin,’ jus’ wanted to personally apologize for my brothers behavior earlier. He really is a fuckin’ hillbilly sometimes, and I hope he didn’t uh—make you feel too uncomfortable. Anyway, jus’ need to pay the bill and then I’ll get out of your hair.” He was already pulling his wallet out of his back pocket when you threw him for a loop.

“I’m free on the weekends after seven.”

He was thumbing through his bills as he pulled out a $20 and placed it along the counter. He slowly looked up at you, cocking a brow at your sudden boldness that came out of left field. “..I’m sorry?”

“You want to take me to prom, right? Well, don’t you think we should go on a proper date and get to know one another before I agree to be your prom date?” You grabbed the $20 from the counter and placed it in the register as you counted out his change.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fuckin’ confused right now. You want to get to know me? Look, I don’t even want to go to prom. It’s just a silly dance that I really have no interest in, and my brother is really the one who put me up to—”

“A simple no would have sufficed y’know. Regardless, what’s wrong with me wanting to get to know you? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have a lot going for me right now. What’s the harm of one date? Who knows, maybe you’ll actually have a good time.” You responded with a shrug.

“Keep the change, it’s for your tip. I wouldn’t exactly say that you don’t have a lot going for you. For starters, you're the only waitress here that knows how to skate..doesn’t that count for something? I suppose there wouldn’t be any harm of goin’ on one date. What’ll it be then? Dinner and a movie?” He was leaning his elbow against the side of the counter top as he reached into the jar of lollipops and pulled out a cherry flavored one. You couldn’t help but watch the way that his fingers effortlessly unwrapped the sweet and placed it between his lips.

He did that on purpose..right?

“Dinner and a movie sounds great. How about next Friday night? Pick me up around 7:30? I don’t believe I caught your name earlier either..should probably tell me what it is, right?” You gave him a little grin as you pushed the cash register drawer shut with a soft clink.

“Well, if I’m going to pick you up, I suppose I’ll be needin’ your phone number so that you can tell me your address? Or you could write it down..but what if I randomly want to call you up and tell you all about my shitty day? It’s gonna be hard for me to do that if I don’t have your number.” He gave you a little lopsided grin as he tilted his head to the side.

“Alright, well I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you my phone number in exchange for your name. That sounds like a pretty fair deal to me. What do you think?”

“Ain’t gonna be necessary for an exchange, darlin.’ I was just playin’ a little game with ya. Anyway, my name is Joel. The buffoon waitin’ in the parking lot is my brother Tommy. What kinda food are ya into?”

“I know you were, Joel. That’s why I played it right back.” You pulled out your little pen pad and wrote down your phone number and address. “Feel free to call me at random to tell me about your terrible, no good, rotten shitty day. I’d love to chat some more, but I have tables to wipe down. I’ll leave it up to you to pick out the restaurant.” You placed the piece of paper into his outstretched palm with a small grin playing on your lips.

“I like a girl that knows how to keep up with me. Nothin’ gets past you, huh?” He teased as he slipped the piece of paper into his back pocket. “Well, I’ll leave it to ya then. Wear somethin’ pretty, kay darlin?’” He shot you a playful wink before pushing himself off the edge of the countertop.

You desperately fought hard to not roll your eyes at his request to wear something ‘pretty’ “uh-huh. See ya around, Joel.” You brought your hand up to your forehead, giving him a little salute. Only when you were positive that he was back in his truck, and could no longer see you through the glass doors, you let out an excited squeal as you twirled in a tight circle on your skates.

Joel had an unmistakable pep in his step as he approached the drivers side door of his truck. Tommy was waiting for him, witn a cigarette perched between his lips, and an eyebrow raised in his brother’s direction. “What’s gotten you grinnin’ like a devil jus’ now?”

Joel reached into his back pocket and pulled out the folded piece of paper and handed it to his brother. “I’ve got myself a date Friday night. I didn’t even have to ask her, she jus’ pretty much beat me to it.”

“Uh-huh. I am sure that’s exactly how it went.” Tommy snickered as he handed the folded note back, sinking into the seat as he took a long drag from the cigarette. “So, where are you and the lucky gal gonna go?”

“I was thinkin’ keepin’ it simple..dinner and a movie. She said I can pick the restaurant, so I was probably gonna take her to the nicest place in Austin.” he shrugged his shoulders before starting the ignition. “Or do ya think that’s too bold?”

“Damn, look at you! Wantin’ to treat a lady right. ‘Atta boy.” He reached over and lightly punched Joel in the shoulder.

“Jus’ like momma taught me.”

Joel Miller arrived thirty minutes before you had expected him to show up for your date. You were just finishing up on your makeup when you heard the familiar sound of truck wheels crunching along gravel. Your parents were at the diner all evening, so that left you at home to dance around the house while you got ready. You had pretty much demolished your closet as you struggled to figure out what to wear. The butterflies were already fluttering rapidly in your stomach. Joel wanted you to wear something ‘pretty’ but you didn’t like the way that any of your dresses fit currently, so that was out of the question. You opted for suede olive green lace up shorts, a floral tie up top and your favorite pair of baby sky-blue go-go boots.

A warm breeze moved freely through the open windows in Joel’s truck as he was casually smoking a cigarette with his forearm resting along the outside of the window. He glanced upwards to where he imagined your bedroom was. A grin was playing on his lips as he caught a glimpse of you dancing around through the billowing curtains. He could faintly hear Tainted Love, by Soft Cell playing through your portable radio. You were using your hair brush as a pretend microphone. You were a burst of fun-loving energy, and Joel was already feeling infected by it. He didn’t want to come across as a cliche and drop the classic ‘you’re not like other girls’ line, but how could he not? Especially when you were dancing like no one was watching.

A few minutes later Joel was being torn from his trance when he heard the porch door swing shut, and the sound of your go-go boots clicking down the wooden steps. He nearly dropped his cigarette from between his lips when he got a first look at your outfit. He had half expected you to wear a dress, but the outfit you picked was fitting for your personality. You looked beautiful, and now he was beginning to feel his own butterflies flapping in his stomach. He wolf whistled as he reached over and unlocked the door for you.

“Well, ain’t you just a sight for sore eyes? Christ, you look so goddamn pretty, darlin.’” The way that he was looking at you was the way that all girls dreamed of being looked at. His eyes held a certain twinkle to them that had you feeling weak in the knees. Were all those failed crushes about to finally pay off? Well, only time could tell.

“How long have you been waiting out here for?” You responded with a shy smile as you climbed into the passenger seat.

“Long enough to see ya dancin’ to Tainted Love.” He chuckled.

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you reached for the seatbelt, but he was already doing it for you. You got a proper whiff of his cologne, as he leaned over the center console. He smelled faintly of sawdust and cigarette smoke. His cologne was both sweet, and musky and god, did his hair look soft.

“You saw me dancing?”

“Mhm. You looked cute, and I swear I wasn’t bein’ a creep about it.” He slowly retracted himself after snapping your seatbelt in place.

“What can I say? Tainted Love just really gets me going.”

“Really? I totally couldn’t tell.” He teased as he slowly reversed down the driveway.

Your eyes zoned in on the collection of CD’s that were stored along the dashboard, and you wasted no time to grab the stack and flip through them. “Wow, you actually have good taste in music..i’m surprised.” You glanced over at him with a small grin. “Who’s your favorite?”

“I’m a big fan of Depeche Mode and Fleetwood Mac.” Responded as he rested one hand along the wheel, and the other on the center console. “You wanna pop one of those in?”

“Ahh, I love Stevie Nicks with my whole heart. Depeche Mode is really good too.” You gently opened one of the CD cases and placed the disk that you chose into the player. “So, are you gonna tell me where we’re going to dinner, or is it going to be a surprise?”

“Hmm..I could tell ya, but then that would ruin the surprise. I’m tryin’ to make this the best first date of your life darlin.’”

“Woowee. Best first date of my life? Y’know, those are some awfully big shoes to fill. I think it's gonna take more than dinner and a movie to accomplish that.”

“The evenin’ has only jus’ begun. I’ve got all night to show ya a good time. Spare me a lil’ faith, will ya?” He reached over and played with the volume toggle before he reached for another cigarette from the pack resting in the cupholder.

“Can I have one of those?” You gestured to the pack of cigarettes.

“A smoke? Sure ya can. You ever had one before?” He asked curiously as he pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips, using his freehand to light it.

“No, but I have always wanted to try one. I always think that the hollywood actresses and models in magazines always look so fucking cool smoking a cigarette. They're all just effortlessly cool.”

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle at your explanation for wanting to smoke. He didn’t want to go and crush your romantic dream of looking as cool as the magazine models. “Well, I don’t think you need to smoke in order to look as cool as the models in magazines. That being said..welcome to the darkside.” He pulled out another cigarette and placed it between your lips. Your eyes locked for a millisecond as he brought the lighter to the unlit end.

Your first inhale of the smoke from the deathstick was rough as the toxic chemicals invaded your lungs. “Fuck. That tastes like complete ass. Why did I expect it to taste sweet, like cherries or strawberries?”

“Never said it was gonna taste sweet, darlin.’ You’ll get used to it after the nicotine kicks in.” He softly reassured you as he reached over and gave your knee a gentle squeeze.

The restaurant Joel had picked was immediately out of both of your comfort zones. It was filled with the snobby upper class members of society. You and Joel stuck out like a sore thumb as you were seated at the table in the middle of all the rich people bullshit. The prices on the menu were absolutely ridiculous and even the water that was being poured looked expensive. Joel looked particularly uncomfortable as he felt that every pair of eyes in the damn establishment were looking at you and him, as if you were zoo animals trapped behind a glass case.

“Hey, Joel?” You asked as you set your menu down on top of your perfectly folded napkin.

“Yeah darlin?’”He was playing with the ends of the table cloth nervously.

“Can we stop playing pretend for just a second here?” Your question immediately caught him off-guard as he looked across the table at you with a quizzical expression on his face.

“What do you mean by that exactly?”

“What I mean by that is do you really wanna sit here making fake small talk about the weather to fit in with the upper snobs of society, or do you wanna go out and have some real fun?” You asked while leaning over the side of the table slightly. A woman to your left let out a disgusted sound when your elbows touched the edge of the table as if it was some terrible sin you had just committed.

An immediate look of relief washed over his face as he relaxed his uncomfortably straight posture. “Fuck. I was hopin’ you were gonna say somethin’ like that. Let’s ditch this joint.” He was already pushing his chair back in a haste.

You reached for his hand as you slung your purse over your shoulder. It wasn’t technically dine and dashing when you hadn’t even placed your food order yet. That didn’t make it any less thrilling to run through the kitchens and escape through the backdoors with your fingers still interlocked as you raced back to his truck.

“I’m so sorry for bringin’ you here darlin.’ I was thinkin’ of impressin’ you somehow, but there’s no way either of us were gonna last a minute longer in there. I hope this hasn’t completely ruined my task of makin’ this the best first date of your life. Do I get a second chance?”

“Joel, it’s alright. I’m just glad I finally said something. Did you hear that woman’s disgust when my elbows touched the table? I never wanna join that group of society. What a bunch of fucking losers.” You responded with a soft giggle. “The night is still young, remember? I have the perfect place in mind for us to go and have some real fun.”

“That woman is probably absolutely miserable in her stupid mansion filled with materialistic shit that she buys to make up for the fact that her husband is cheating on her with her sister. What did ya have in mind sweetheart?”

“Thank goodness she has Chanel and her fur coats to keep her warm at night. Have you ever gone to a roller-rink?”

“How did I know that was going to be your suggestion? Are you just lookin’ for an excuse to watch me eat shit? Cus’ that’s exactly what is goin’ to happen.” He chuckled.

“Me? Nah. I would never! That would just be so cruel of me. C’mon. I promise you’ll have a good time, and we can hold hands?”

“Like they do in the movies?” He looked over at you with a lopsided, boyish grin.

“Exactly how they do in the movies.”

“I’m all in darlin.’”

The roller-rink was packed and teeming with people of all ages but mostly teenagers. There was a large shimmering silver disco ball dangling from a wire in the center of the rink.

“I’m gonna look like an absolute fool in these things. How the hell do ya make it look so easy, huh?” Joel muttered as he laced up his skates with a huff.

“Hey, you’re not gonna look like a fool, okay? Trust me. This place is a judgment free zone. No one is going to make fun of you if you slip and fall on your ass.”

Joel looked over at you, squinting a little from the bright flashing light from all the little mirror tiles reflecting on the disco ball. “Okay, but if I fall, i’m takin’ you down with me. Deal?”

“Deal.” You hopped up from the bench with a grin as you offered him your hand to which he gratefully took as you helped him up.

You could feel just how sweaty the palm of Joel’s hand was as his fingers interlocked through yours. He had his other hand outstretched to the side to help with his balance. “So do I like..try and walk in these things or is more like a glidin’ motion?”

“You won’t get very far if you try to walk in them. It’s more of a gliding side to side motion to start, and if you feel like you’re about to fall, you can use the toe stop at the front of the skates. It almost acts as an emergency break.”

“You’re so fuckin’ lucky I like you darlin.’” He squeezed your hand gently as you helped him onto the rink.

“You’ll get the hang of it in no time. Just let me guide you for the first few times around the rink, and then I’m sure you’ll be able to try it out on your own. Unless..you wanna skate with the little tykes in the middle?” You teased as you slowly started to glide across the smooth surface with ease.

“Absolutely not. I will not be skatin’ with the kids. What if someone from school sees me?”

“Who cares? Just have fun!” You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. You thought Joel looked quite cute looking all grumpy, but you hoped that by the end of the night you’d be able to get at least one smile out of him.

As the night progressed, Joel gained a little bit of confidence the more he skated and at one point, he had gently released your hand so he could try it out on his own. He was getting a hang of the gliding motion just as you decided to one up him and skate backwards.

“Now I think you’re just tryin’ to one me up darlin.’” He grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey, none of that! You’re doing great, Joel. Keep it up. I’m just going to go and grab us some refreshments, okay?”

“Really..? Thank you. It’s actually not as hard as I thought it was gonna be. Y’know, I might actually be having a good time..jus’ don’t let that get to your pretty lil’ head too much, okay?”

“I told you it wasn’t going to be so bad. You’re a natural. I’ll be right back.” You brushed your hand gently across his bicep as you skated past him and exited off of one of the openings to the carpeted area. You ordered two cherry cokes and a basket of fries. While you were waiting off to the side, you didn’t notice the guy to your left checking you out until a shadow casted over the wall from his presence.

“You here alone?” The guy asked as he leaned his elbow up right next to your head. He reeked of cheap liquor and you immediately grimaced.

“I’m not interested.”

“Ouch. That quick to shut me down, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Ain’t interested cause you got a boyfriend or somethin’ sweetheart?”

“I really don’t think it matters. Please leave me alone.”

“You don’t have to be such a fuckin’ bitch about it. Thought you would be interested considering your dressed like a fuckin’ slut.” He spat.

“Excuse me?”

Just when the piece of shit excuse of a man was about to open up his mouth to spew some more shit in your face, Joel was suddenly skating off the rink and to your rescue. He had noticed the guy harassing you from the other end of the rink.

“Hey man, how about you leave her the fuck alone? She ain’t interested. Fuck off.”

“Who the hell are you? I don’t have to listen to what the fuck you gotta say. Why don’t you just mind your own business?”

“I’m the boyfriend.” Joel deadpanned. “So, I’m gonna give you exactly five seconds to step away from my girl, or I’m gonna break your fuckin’ jaw.”

“Hey man, I don’t want any trouble I was just—”

“Five..four..three..two—” Joel started to countdown.

“Okay, okay! I’m goin!’” The guy scampered off like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“You alright?..I’m sure you had that handled, but it didn’t look like that guy was going to fuck off.”

“I’m okay. It’s unfortunately not the first time I’ve dealt with guys like that. I appreciate you stepping in though..”

“Of course. I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with guys like that before. I don’t understand why it’s a rare occurrence for men to respect women. It’s the bare minimum, y’know?”

“Yeah, I really can’t understand it either. Men act like they are so entitled sometimes. At least you’re not one of them. You’re a real gentleman.”

“It’s how my ma raised me to be. She’d have my head on a spit if I ever disrespected a woman.” He grabbed the two cherry cokes and basket of fries from the counter as you sat down along the bench, with the fries placed between the two of you.

“Are you have a good time at least? You skated all the way over here without eating shit. I’m impressed.” You teased as you popped a perfectly crisp fry into your mouth.

“I’m actually havin’ a blast. This was a great idea to come out here. I guess the adrenaline sorta jus’ kicked in at the last minute? I definitely want to show ya my new moves I learned. Maybe impress ya even more?” He chuckled as he took a sip from his bottle of coke.

“I’d love to see your new moves. You think they’re gonna make my heart swoon?”

“Absolutely positive that they will make your heart swoon darlin.’”

Joel’s ‘moves’ consisted of him attempting to spin, and skate backwards. He ended up falling on his ass and taking you right now with him. You both were in fits of laughter as you hit the floor in unison. He was muttering about his ass hurting while you were clutching your stomach from how hard you were laughing.

God, you had such a cute laugh.

Midnight was the closing time for the roller rink. You and Joel were the two stragglers that weren’t ready to leave just yet as you skated in the middle of the rink to Take On Me. Your eyes were twinkling brightly like the disco ball above as Joel playfully spun you around.

In the end, you were kicked out by the closing staff and you and Joel walked back to his truck with infectious smiles on your faces. His arm was around your shoulder where your hands were interlocked, and before you could unlock the passenger side door, Joel was stopping you as he gently pressed your back up against the side of the door.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” He softly admitted as his arms encased your head on either side. He was broader than you realized as he loomed over you.

“So then kiss me.” You whispered through the thick palpable tension that was growing between you rapidly.

“You want me to kiss you?” He breathed softly as he dipped his head down, lightly brushing his nose against yours.

“Please kiss me Joel.” You whispered eagerly as your lashes fluttered shut.

His lips were slightly chapped, but you immediately liked the way they felt on yours. He was testing the waters out to see how you would respond as one hand dropped down and encased around your waist, pulling you up gently so you were flush against his chest. It was the kind of kiss that stole your breath from your lungs, and spun your brain like a ferris wheel. He tasted faintly of cherry coke, and tobacco.

He deepened the kiss only when you gave him the silent signal which consisted of your breath hitching in your throat, and your fingers twisting through his soft coffee-colored tendrils of hair. His tongue swiped confidently across your lower lip as you yanked on the roots of his hair gently.

He let out a soft grunt that vibrated up his throat as he gave your hip a gentle squeeze.

“Hey! What are you kids still doin’ here! Go the hell home!” A security guard at the roller rink shouted as he shone his flashlight directly in your faces.

“Hey man! We were just leavin!’” Joel grumbled in annoyance as he reluctantly detached his lips from yours and popped open the passenger side door.

“I’m serious! Get the hell outta here before I call the cops!”

Joel wasn’t the least bit threatened at the mention of cops being called as he lifted you into the passenger seat with ease. He stole one more kiss before he gently shut the door and sauntered over to the drivers side.

He started the ignition and rolled the window down just enough for him to stick his hand out and flip his middle finger up to the security guard before he peeled out of the parking lot.

When he finally looked over at you, he saw that your fingertips were lightly pressing into your lips where he had just kissed you minutes ago. You appeared to be in a trance as he reached his freehand over and gently squeezed your thigh. “You alright over there darlin?’” He softly asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just..happy.” You admitted as you looked over at him with a small grin.

“Ohh. Is that why you have that dopey look on your face?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, and because that was my first kiss. Could..you tell that it was?” You were playing with your hands in your lap now.

“Wait, I was your first kiss?..You’re serious about that?”

“Yeah, I mean..I’ve been kissed on the cheek by a couple guys but none of them ever properly kissed me. I guess maybe I should have told you that earlier?”

Joel couldn’t help but frown when he sensed the hesitation in your voice. It affected him so much that he was pulling over into the nearest gas station and turning his body completely so he was facing you. “Hey, it’s no biggie that you didn’t tell me earlier, sweets. I’m honored that I was your first kiss. I guess I'm just surprised that I am your first? I mean, you’re fuckin’ beautiful. You’re witty and smart. You’re like a breath of fresh air man. Sounds like these other guys are fuckin’ fools.”

“You think..I'm beautiful?” You finally looked up at him. “I guess I was afraid to tell you because I thought you’d..think it was weird or a turn off that i’m basically a prude?”

“Yeah, you’re literally a gem. You don’t see it? Look, I won’t lie to you and say that I haven’t been around the block a few times, because I have. I’ve had girlfriends here and there and casual hook ups just like the next guy, but as cliche as it's going to sound, you’re different. Now of course there’s nothing wrong with girls just wantin’ to flirt with me and fuck at some house party, I respect them just as much as I respect you. Don’t beat yourself down because you’ve never been kissed, or had sex. Real men aren’t gonna give a shit about that stuff because at the end of the day, that’s your personal choice. Hell, if you told me you slept with twenty guys it wouldn’t make me any less attracted to you than I am now. You’re not prude, and anyone that has ever made you feel that way is a piece of fuckin’ miserable garbage that is probably missin’ some substantial happiness in their lives.” Joel’s statement was one that was rooted in passion. He knew that he wasn’t the perfect guy and he made loads of mistakes, but he always made a point to respect the women in his life.

Your lips parted in pure surprise at Joel’s words, and even more-so when his hand that once was resting along your thigh, was now gently cupping your face with his thumb stroking your cheekbone. He was looking at you like you were the only girl in his world (you were). Ridden with overwhelming emotion, you found yourself wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “Thank you for respecting me, Joel. I know it’s silly for me to worry about these things but it’s just so fucking hard being a girl. Let alone a teenage girl. Sometimes I just feel like I'm behind everyone else, y’know? I see so many girls at school with boyfriends and dates to prom..and sometimes it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

“I can only imagine how fuckin’ it is to be a woman. Y’all deal with so much crap that men ain’t have to ever worry about. I know as a white straight male, I have it easy in the world and you don’t. I’ll never understand why the fuck society views women on such a low scale compared to men. Hell, maybe in our-lifetime we’ll see that change? One can only hope that by the time we’re our parents age, maybe the world will become a better place. Anyway, you shouldn’t feel like anythin’ is wrong with you darlin.’” You’re not behind the rest of us, and you’re completely normal. I’m tellin’ you this not because i’m tryin’ to get you to fall for me or anythin’ but because it sounds like you’ve been rough on yourself for years, and you deserve to hear the truth and some reassurance.”

“I don’t think you’d have to do much for me to fall for you, Joel. Not when I have been this entire evening.”

He took in a harsh inhale at your words. Was this what it felt like to fall in love with someone? Was it even possible to fall in love in one night?

“Well, if we’re goin’ and spillin’ secrets like that..i’m fallin’ for you too darlin.’”

“You’re right about me being hard on myself Joel. I’ve gotten so sick of my negative mindset and feeling this way that I decided I needed to do something about it. I’m really happy that I did.”

“You gotta stop that shit, okay? I know it’s hard, but you got your whole life ahead of ya. Just focus on havin’ fun. Fuck all that other noise.” He was leaning in close now with his hand still gently holding your face.

“You’re right. Fuck all that other noise.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the wonderful situation you had found yourself presently in. Just a week ago you were feeling like you’d never experience romance in your last month of highschool. Well, you were wrong because here was a guy, sitting next to a girl, wanting to kiss her.

“Before we finish what we started back at the roller-rink. I got one question to ask ya.”

“Shoot.” You whispered as you threaded your fingers through his hair as his nose gently brushed across your cheekbone.

“Will you go to prom with me darlin?’”

You responded to his question with a kiss as you climbed over the center dashboard right into his lap.

“I take that as an enthusiastic yes.” He mumbled into your lips with a warm chuckle as his arms encircled around your waist.

“Yes, I'll go to prom with you Joel.” You kissed him deeper as he pulled you in close.

It was the night of prom, and already you felt like you were living in a fairytale. Your dad had just come home from the dry-cleaners with your dress just as your mom was finishing up your hair and makeup.

“When is your lucky fellow gonna come and pick you up hun?” Your dad asked as he handed you your dress that was protected by a sheet of plastic.

“He said he’ll be here around six. You’re going to be nice..right?”

“Honey, of course I will. I’m not gonna bite the guy's head off.” Your dad responded with a chuckle. “You look beautiful sweetheart.”

You gave your dad a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Just checking to make sure. He’s a nice guy. I’m sure you’ll love him. Thank you for picking up my dress, dad. I love you.”

“I’m sure I will love him, and I love you too kiddo.”

Joel pulled up into your driveway a little earlier than he said he would. Truthfully, he was a little nervous to meet your parents, but especially your father. His mom sent him over with a bottle of wine and he had stopped at the market to pick up some fresh flowers. He used what was left of his last paycheck from his dad’s carpenter company to purchase a fine tailored suit. The only hint you had given him about the dress you were wearing was that it was silver. So, he purchased a silver bowtie so that he would be matching you.

He swallowed his bubbling nerves as he knocked on the front door. Your dad greeted him with a polite smile as he opened the door. “You must be Joel. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Come on in, son. I promise I won't bite.” Your dad reassured him with a wink that immediately relaxed his muscles from having a spasm.

“It’s good to finally meet you as well, sir.”

Your father and Joel were deep in a conversation at the foot of the stairs when you had finally made an appearance. Joel found himself stuck in a trance, and perplexed by your stunning beauty as you gracefully descended down the stairs.

Your dress was made of silver shimmering fabric. The tool wasn’t poofy like the other dresses you had seen. It looked as if it was made for you. The top of the dress dipped down into a delicate sweetheart neckline, and his eyes zoned in on the silver pendant that laid against the middle of your breastbone. It was heart shaped and twinkled under the light. Your heels were silver, and just high enough to give you a couple inches. What really sent Joel’s heart racing was the bright smile you gave him when your eyes locked at the bottom of the stairway.

“Wow.” He uttered in disbelief. “You look absolutely beautiful darlin.’”

Your smile only began to intensify from his words as you gave him a little twirl before hugging him so tight, he thought his heart would burst. “You’re not looking too bad yourself, handsome.”

He could feel the blushing rising to his cheeks as you called him handsome, and he turned beet red when you pressed a soft kiss to his cheekbone.

Before either of you could leave, your mother insisted on taking a few photos while your dad told Joel to have you home no later than midnight.

As soon as you were safely in Joel’s truck, you wasted no time leaning over the center console and kissing him deeply. He responded to your kiss immediately as his hands gently found purchase around your waist. “I missed y’too.” He chuckled against your lips.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you walked in that door.”

“Ditto.” He didn’t hesitate to respond.

“Ready to do prom with me, Joel?” You slowly pulled away and used your thumb to gently wipe away the lipstick residue that stained his lips.

“Ready as i’ll ever be darlin.’”

The theme for prom was “A Night To Remember” and boy, was that an understatement. Joel wasn’t much of a dancer, but he would be damned if he didn’t make his girl happy and dance the night away with her, even if his feet ended up aching by the 20th song. His favorite part of prom was the stupid little photobooth. He had so much fun making silly faces and kissing you like a man in love while the little camera in the booth flashed brightly. By the fifth slow song of the night, you were ready to get the hell out of there.

He was in mid conversation with Tommy when you had gently plopped yourself down into his lap and innocently whispered into his ear, “Wanna get out of here, cowboy?” As his arm wrapped around your lower back for support.

Joel’s eyes widened slightly at your suggestion, and he was silently grateful that he remembered to tuck a couple of condoms in his wallet. “Yeah, baby. Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere.” You pressed a soft kiss just below his ear before you slid off his lap.

Joel wasted no time to grab his suit jacket and gently drape it over your shoulders as he snatched up his keys and gave Tommy a little salute.

“Have fun kids! Don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do!” Tommy yelled as you and Joel were making a b-line for the nearest exit with his hand gently resting along your lower back.

As soon as you were outside, Joel wasted no time to scoop you up into his arms bridal style as he carried you back to his truck. Your arms looped around his neck. You could faintly smell moisture in the air as a storm was slowly beginning to roll in.

Joel used his freehand to open the passenger side door and gently set you down on the seat, making sure that your dress was tucked in before he closed the door. You were on one another like a moth to flame as soon as he was in the driver's seat.

“Where d’ya wanna go darlin?’” Joel mumbled against your lips.

“I want to go to the nearest park, and dance under the moonlight with you.”

“a lil’ bit of moonlight dancin’ with my baby? I’m all in honeypie.” He was holding your face in his hands so delicately as you kissed. “We can even celebrate with a lil’ splash of champagne after? I was savin’ it just for this special night.”

“Moonlight dancing AND champagne? Joel Miller, you sure know how to spoil a gal rotten.” You giggled softly as your hands slipped down over the patchy spots in his facial hair that were just beginning to grow in.

“Only the best for my baby.” He hummed thoughtfully as you gently ran the pads of your fingertips across his jaw. He pulled away from the kiss slowly and dragged the tip of his nose against yours in a kiss. “Don’t wanna mess up your hair and makeup just yet, darlin.’ We got all damn night for those shenanigans..although, your old man did say to have you home by midnight.”

“He really meant one in the morning.” You pressed one final kiss to his lips before you buckled yourself up.

“Mmm. Did he now? Are you absolutely positive about that darlin?’”

“Deadly.”

“Well, if ya say so.” He looked over at you with his usual boyish grin as he started the ignition.

Joel drove to the nearest park that was situated right in the middle of a little pond. There were only a couple people taking an evening stroll when you and Joel excitedly hopped out of his truck, finding one another’s hands as they interlocked like two puzzle pieces.

Your combined giggles painted the night air in the pure joy of young love as your heels echoed along the pavement. The moon was full, and bright in the stardusted sky as Joel pulled you into his arms and spun you around playfully.

There was no music to be heard, but you created your own with the clicking noises from your heels and your heartbeats entwined. Even when the wind picked up, and blew the skirt of your dress around your ankles, and the thunder rumbled its baritone tune, you continued to dance. The heavens opened up as rain droplets danced around you, and the sky lit up in brilliant flashes of white hot lighting.

“Baby! We should uh—probably get back to the truck now, don’tcha think?” Joel had to shout over the pouring rain that had already begun to soak through your dress and turned it a darker silver color.

“Not yet! Just dance with me a little more! The rain can’t hurt us baby, c’mon!” You grabbed both his hands gently as you spun each other around in a circle along the wet pavement. All it took was one threatening crack of thunder above for both of you to scamper back to his truck.

You sat side by side in the backseat, laughing about nothing in particular as the rain pounded into the roof of the truck and windows. Your giggles died down when he slowly looked over at you and gently grabbed your hand in his own. “Hey, even though we totally almost got obliterated by some lighting out there, I had so much fun. However, this storm seems pretty bad..won’t be able to drive you home until it passes through..any ideas on how we can make good use of our time?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively.

“Hmm..that’s a really interesting question for you to ask, baby. How do we make good use of our time?” You asked in a suggestive tone as you kicked your heels off to the floor of the truck and pulled yourself into his lap. “I think that all depends on what we both want to do..”

Joel felt his smirk tugging on his lips as you straddled his hips. His hair was soaked and stuck to his face until you had gently ran your fingers through the wet strands and pushed them off his forehead. “Well, what I wanna do requires me ruining this pretty dress, baby. I don’t wanna ruin it. You look so goddamn gorgeous in it.”

“Joel, it’s already pretty much ruined from the rain..”

“We’ll only do what you wanna do. Okay?” He reassured you.

You nodded, swallowing the lump growing in your throat as you looked deeply into one another’s eyes. The tension was slowly beginning to build as your forehead gently rested along his. “Joel?..” you asked softly.

“Yes darlin?’”

“I want you to make love to me. Just like how they do in the movies.”

He took a sharp inhale of breath as his lashes fluttered shut momentarily before he reopened them. “You sure that’s what you want baby? There’s no rush, I promise.”

“Joel, please. I want you to take care of me. I don’t care if it’s not in a bed. I don’t care that it’s in the backseat of your truck. I want you fuck me like it’s our last night.”

He was kissing you then as his hands came up to hold your face once more. “I’ll take care of you, I promise baby. We’ll go as slow as you want. I—I brought condoms..not because I was expecting this to happen tonight, but I just wanted to bring them to be safe.” He mumbled softly against your lips.

“Baby, I know you’ll take care of me. I trust you.” You did. You really did trust him with your entire heart. As if it was made only for him.

“Lay on your back for me honey..nice and easy now..” he kissed you slowly as he gently eased you on your back. He detached his lips from yours for only a moment as he reached for his suit jacket and tucked it under your head so you would be more comfortable. His lips found yours once more as his hand slowly trailed up your calf to your knee. He didn’t want to rush this experience for you. He wanted every moment of it to be enjoyable, because he cared about you that much.

His hand had just found its way up to your middle thigh when you had let out a wanton whimper. You’d never been touched like this before by a man. It set a fire deep within your belly when Joel began to pepper kisses down your jaw. He kissed down the column of your neck, and that valley between your breasts. You opened for him like a blooming flower.

Gooseflesh rose upon your skin as his freehand slipped under your lower back in search for the zipper of your dress. You could feel his lips curving into a grin against your skin as he slowly tugged it down. He shimmied your dress down over your breasts and hips and gingerly laid it across the center console. “You’re so beautiful, darlin. I could stare at your beautiful body for hours..but why do that when I can just show you how beautiful I think you are?..” he whispered against the spot where your collarbone met the base of your throat.

“Joel..” you whispered.

“Shh. I know, baby, I know. I jus’ wanna take my time with ya. Savor every inch of your skin on my tongue.” He lowly hummed as his head dipped back down. When his lips enveloped your pebbled soft flesh, your back arched upwards as a sweet moan slipped past your parted lips.

He rolled his teeth across the bud, flicking his tongue across it expertly, just as his hand slowly dipped under your cotton panties. His fingers stroked you gently, moving in tight circles as your thighs fell open. You had touched yourself under the bedsheets many times before, but it never felt as good as this.

His name dripped from your lips as his fingers played you like a violin. He was carefully attentive to your body language and the way you reacted to his touch. He learned that you were ticklish around your hips, and you liked it when he lightly nipped at the soft flesh of your inner thigh.

He learned that you especially liked the way his tongue worked your cunt into ruin, and his patchy beard scratched at your sensitive skin. He learned that you loved to kiss him, and hold his face as close to your own as possible. He learned that you enjoyed slow, deep thrusts where you could feel him in his entirety. Every stretch and pull as your body hugged itself around his cock like a warm blanket. He learned that kissing just below your ear would cause you to giggle, kissing your neck made you moan.

He learned that your body may as well have been created just for him, and his for you. He never felt so emotionally connected to someone in his life, and now here he was buried so deep inside of your warmth, he swore he could see stars behind his eyelids as he kissed and nipped your chin gently.

He had never made love to any woman he had ever been with. He never moved so slowly, so thoughtfully with the only goal in mind to bring you to that high that felt like no other. So when you came undone around him, he praised you, he kissed you and held you as tears fell down your cheeks. He knew they weren’t unhappy tears. They were tears of overwhelming emotion, and he kissed them all away before he gathered you up in his arms.

It was far past midnight by the time the storm had stopped, and you and Joel found yourselves in the bed of his truck, sharing the bottle of champagne while you were wrapped up in a blanket together. You talked of the future, your relationship and what it meant. You giggled like school girls when he brought up how sweet you tasted, and how he wouldn’t mind having you as a meal everyday.

You talked about the stars and the moon and if the sun ever felt lonely that she never gets to see the night sky like you and him do. You talked about your dreams, your desires and wishes after highschool. He wanted to say he loved you, he really did; he just didn’t know how to articulate it.

You had drunk more than enough champagne, and the bubbly effects were beginning to take their toll on you as you struggled to stand to your feet. Joel was a second too late to catch you before you fell right over the side of the truck and hit the concrete below with a thud.

He screamed your name as it happened in slow motion before his eyes. Panic swirled deep in his gut as he hopped down from the bed and immediately rushed to your side. You were scraped up pretty bad and had a gash an inch long across your forehead that was oozing crimson blood. “Baby! Are you alright?” He was scooping you into his arms in a haste but you didn’t even seem to notice that you were injured.

“Babyyy why do you look so sad? Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You giggled drunkenly.

“Fuck. I knew I should have cut you off from the champs sooner. Baby, you’re bleedin’ all fuckin’ over the place. I’m gonna take you to a hospital, okay? I’m so sorry I didn’t catch ya.” He lifted you up bridal style

“Bleeding? Baby, what are you talking about? I’m not bleeding!” Your giggles continued as you reached up and touched the gash on your forehead. You saw the blood droplets on your fingers, but were unfazed. “Oops! I am bleeding. How did that happen?”

He was already placing you into the passenger seat and buckling you up quickly. He didn’t speak until he was in the driver's seat and peeling out of the parking lot to the nearest hospital. “Baby, you had a lot of champange and fell out of my truck. Your daddy is gonna fuckin’ kill me sweetheart.”

“Champagne must be numbing all the pain, because I don’t feel a thing! Joel, my daddy is going to have to go through me first if he wants to kill you. I’ll protect you baby. He won’t touch you.” You were reaching into his glove box for his pack of smokes and lighter.

“Baby, you don’t feel a thing at all? Fuck. Well, I guess that’s a good thing cus’ you nearly fuckin’ broke your ass. Don’t worry, m’gonna get you to the hospital, and they’re gonna fix ya right up. You’ll be good as new.” He spoke as calmly as he possibly could. Inside he was absolutely freaking the fuck out.

You took a long drag from the cigarette as you made yourself comfortable in the passenger seat. You reached for his freehand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

It was in those exact moments that he realized just how deeply he had fallen in love with you.

Your daddy did in fact want to kill Joel when he drove you home from the hospital. He profusely apologized to your father, while your mother ushered you upstairs. You kept looking over your shoulder to find his face, but your dad was blocking the doorway.

The last time you saw Joel Miller was graduation day. It was outside in the school parking lot. He was leaning against the side of his truck, with his graduation cap in hand. His shoulders were slumped forward, and from the angle you were at you couldn’t tell if he was crying. You were about to call out his name, but he was already getting back into his truck.

Eighteen years had suddenly passed. You went off to college on the other side of the country. You met loads of boys that kissed you, and fucked you, and loved you, but none of them were Joel. You kept a little piece of him in your heart all those years, wishing you could go back to that magical night. The faint scar along your forehead was a constant reminder of those last moments you shared together. Now you were older, and feeling lost in life, and returning home seemed like your best option.

Your parents were more than happy to have you home again, and it felt like nothing had changed. The diner was the same way you had left it, and your old skates were still in the back cubby. Nostalgia washed over you when your eyes locked on the corner booth where you and Joel had first met. It was so long ago, but it had felt like just yesterday he was asking you out on your very first date.

You closed the diner up half past 10 when you could hear the familiar sound of crunching gravel under truck tires. A car door slammed shut as you were locking up the front door.

“Hey stranger.” The familiar Texas drawl nearly had your knees buckling inwards.

“Joel?..” you asked in disbelief as you slowly turned around to face him.

“Yeah, it’s—it’s me darlin.’” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he looked over at you.

“What—what are you doing here? I never thought I’d see your face again.”

“Truthfully? I..don’t know. I just heard from Tommy that you were in town again, and I jus’ figured there was no harm in comin’ to see you. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to just grow a pair. I wasn’t sure how you would react to seein’ my face again after all these years.”

You took a few cautious steps forward as you twirled your keys between your fingers. “Do you want to come inside?..we can talk and I’ve got some leftovers in the fridge—”

“Please.” He cut you off suddenly. “I would love to come inside and talk to you.”

“Two cherry cokes and a basket of fries?”

“Jus’ like our first date.” He murmured softly as he followed you into the diner he knew so well.

“You remembered?..”

“How could I forget? It was the most fun I ever had on a date darlin.’” He cleared his throat nervously as you walked over to the booth in the corner.

His presence was suddenly so close, you felt like you couldn’t breathe as he slid into the booth. He had grown much broader over the years. His arms had filled in and his beard was less patchy. His eyes still held that same familiar warmth to them like they did the first time you met. He clasped his hands together along the table as you disappeared into the back area of the kitchen, and returned minutes later with two cherry cokes and a basket of fresh fries. You sat across from him, and the beverages and fries were left untouched as you sat in silence for what felt like hours.

“So, how have you been?” Joel started the conversation as he slowly reached for a fry.

“I’ve been better. How about you?”

“Not that great if I’m bein’ honest with you.” He popped the fry into his mouth, chewing slowly.

“What’s..going on?”

Joel let out a heavy sigh as he sank back against the worn booth seat. “For starters, I have a 12 year old daughter that I’m raisin’ on my own. Tommy has been helpin’ out thank god. It jus’ ain’t easy, bein’ a single father.”

Your lips parted in shock. It was easy to forget just how much time had passed. Of course Joel had been married, and had a child now. Of course he moved on. You couldn’t blame him, especially when you had gone and done the same.

“You..have a daughter? What’s her name?..”

“I do, yeah. Her mom left us when she was just a few months old. Really fuckin’ messed me up. Anway, her name is Sarah. She’s as cute as a button, really she is. I’m just strugglin’ to make ends meet with my job. I do everything for that little girl, and sometimes I feel like that’s not enough.”

“I bet she is adorable, Joel. Do you have a picture of her? I’m sorry that your wife left you to raise her. I’m glad that you have Tommy to help out at least.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a photo of her right here in my wallet. S’okay. You don’t have to be sorry. Sometimes those things just don’t work out. I’ve moved past it the best that I can.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet and opened it, revealing an adorable little girl with a head of thick black curls, and eyes just like her daddy.

“Oh, Joel. She’s absolutely beautiful.” You were holding in tears you didn’t realize were building as you gently stroked your thumb across the photograph. “She’s got your eyes.”

“She is beautiful. She’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I’m so grateful that she’s my little girl. Enough about me, what about you? What’s goin’ on in your life darlin?’ Are..you married?” He was almost too nervous to ask you. He just had to know, even if the answer would hurt him forever.

“I’m miserable if I’m being honest with you now. I’m not married, no. I actually just broke up with my long term boyfriend and moved back home. I quit my 9-5, and just realized that I was pretending to be happy for so long.”

“Why did you break up with him?..”

“Because he wasn’t you Joel.” Your confession fell heavy upon his heart as his face slowly fell into a deep set frown. “He was good to me. He loved me, and wanted to marry me, but he wasn’t you. He’ll never be you.”

“Darlin?’”

“Joel?”

“Do you remember that day you fell outta my truck?” He asked softly.

“I sure do, you came jumping out after me.”

“Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass and you were bleeding all over the place. I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?” He could feel his own tears begin to well up along his waterline as his voice nearly cracked.

“Yes, I do.” You were reaching for his hand across the table, gently placing yours on top of his.

“Well, there’s something I never told you about that night…” he trailed off.

“What didn’t you tell me?”

“While you were sitting in the passenger seat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep deeply in love with you, and I never told you ‘til just now.” His tears had freely begun to fall in sync with your own. You both were reaching for each other's faces to gently wipe the tear droplets away.

“All these years?…”

“Yes, all these years I have wanted to tell you. That night, after we made love, I was going to say it. It was on the fuckin’ tip of my tongue and I froze. I chickened out, and lost my chance. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you, or that night for eighteen years. You always have had a piece of my heart, and I’ve never been able to fully let you go, and I don’t think I ever will.” He admitted.

“I wanted to tell you that night as well. I lost my chance when I got too drunk to stand and toppled over the side of your truck. I knew it when we danced in the rain, and when you took care of me the way that all women want to be taken care of. I’ve tried to move on, and love someone else, but I’m incapable. I didn’t just come home because I was miserable in my present life. I came home because I was hoping I’d run into you.” You gently stroked your thumb across his cheekbone.

“Joel, do you believe in the idea of the right person, but at the wrong time?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Do you believe that then can turn into the right person, at the right time?”

“Yes, darlin’ I absolutely believe that to be true. Now, I have one very important question to ask you.”

“What is it that you have to ask me?”

A knowing smile graced his aging features as he leaned in close, close enough that you could see the warmth held in his irises.

“Will you go to prom with me darlin?’”

Fin

Tagging people I think will enjoy: @chaotic-mystery @cavillscurls @morning-star-joy @dinsdjrn @cupofjoel @thetriumphantpanda @darkroastjoel @tessa-quayle @saradika @kirsteng42 @amanitacowboy @sinsofsummers @lovers-liability

Banners made by the lovely @saradika

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simkoos · 1 year

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new year, new simbs. ✌

emery | jada

vivian | lesley

nixon | amani

tony | eleanor

(warning: tons of 4am thoughts and bad grammar below sorry sdklfs i love my lil pixel babies)

[emery quintero] is the typical shy nerd, he has a hard time making friends bc of his social anxiety/awkwardness. you’ll usually find him in a library studying and sipping on a mocha frappe

[jada cooper] LOVES fitness/sports and was actually the first girl on her school’s football team!! she’s plans on pursuing a career in physical therapy after college and finding the woman of her dreams~~~

[vivian bond] had a pretty difficult childhood which unfortunately resulted in severe trust issues. she constantly felt out of place and alienated bc she was so “different” from the other girls. she now uses her social media to share her story/experiences and has gained massive internet popularity for simply being herself!! (she also posts alt girl lookbooks and is an activist for women’s rights)

[lesley shelley] is honestly such a sweetheart! at times he can be a little TOO open and vulnerable which sometimes leads him to getting hurt. :( he lives with his new bff amani (in san myshuno) and recently opened an onlyfans account to help pay off his student loans lol

[nixon adams] is a goofy boy with two left feet (super clumsy). he’s sustained just about every minor injury you can imagine. a few years ago he was involved in a rock climbing accident in which he lost an eye and a few teeth. :((( he still continues to keep up his positive, fun loving attitude and hopes his future gf will embrace his many scars, bumps and bruises ;-;

[amani kessler] comes from a very tight knit family, (her mom is a school teacher, her dad is a detective, she has a younger sister and two fur babies). having been sheltered her entire life, she craves adventure and exploration -- take that however you want sdkljfsd

[tony b] (born charles anthony ballard) hides his past as much as he possibly can. almost no one knows he comes a from a wealthy and quite powerful family and he plans on keeping it that way. after a huge disagreement with his dad, he “legally” acquired his trust fund money and moved to san myshuno where he can safely and openly be who he wants to be!! him and his close friend, nixon work at a local tattoo/piercing shop together

[eleanor brock] was always teased for being the tall girl. little did she know, everything she had hated about herself would one day bring her great success. she’s a model/rising star in del sol valley and frequently makes appearances in reputable fashion magazines!! she hopes to walk the runway in her own designs in the future~

#the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #needed some fresh faces to populate my save :')#vivian is my fave #she's the alt girl of my dreams

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art · 2 years

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Creator Spotlight: @textless

Hi! My name is Amadee, and I am a librarian who lives in Arizona. I also love taking photos in my spare time.

Check out our interview with Amadee below!

What got you started in photography?

Both of my parents were very interested in photography. I’d always loved looking at their work, and in high school, I got a 35mm camera as a gift, so I could start taking photos myself. Back then (in the actual 80s), HS students in the Minneapolis area could take classes at area colleges for dual credit. I started taking photo classes at the University of Minnesota and had access to a darkroom and nearly unlimited film and processing supplies without realizing just how amazing that was. I took many photos of friends, acquaintances, and strangers, and I loved looking at work by Nan Goldin and Bill Owens. After college, without access to a darkroom, I stopped taking pictures almost entirely.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Bluntly, technology allowed me to start taking photos again. The first digital cameras I tried in the early 2000s were terrible: slow, clunky, and with next to no storage capacity. Even so, they seemed like the first step in an interesting direction. By 2008 or so, I had a point-and-shoot digital camera and rediscovered what I loved about photography… except that I no longer wanted to take pictures of people. Soon I started taking photos of tiny things, especially insects, and my little camera wasn’t up to the task. I got a DSLR with a macro lens in 2010 and haven’t stopped taking photos since.

I know many photographers who are nostalgic for film, whether or not they were around in the analog era. More power to anyone who wants to spend the time and money, but I don’t miss film even a little. For the kind of photography I enjoy, which is almost entirely documentary, the ability to take an unlimited number of photos, and see what did or didn’t work right away, makes all the difference.

You've also written books in the past—what was the most challenging, yet rewarding part of the process?

I was a children’s librarian for many years and just love books. So, when I started writing, I hoped to create books that would connect with kids and spark their imagination. Cortez the Gnome was a book I would have liked to see as a kid, and the art project elements were fun and frustrating. Gentle Hands filled what felt like a gap in my storytimes and gave me a chance to work with a publisher I like very much. Alas, my biggest challenge is that I haven’t had an idea in years! I write occasional blog posts for Free Spirit on topics related to serving youth, but working with kids was the spark for new ideas, and these days my work is mostly admin. I enjoy it more than I would have guessed years ago, but as a wellspring of inspiration, it is not.

How do you create healthy boundaries in balancing your day job and personal aspirations?

Work comes first every time. That might sound like a drag, but I truly like my job and think library service is critically important. In some of the tiny communities we serve, the library is the only gathering place open to everyone, and the only place to access fast internet, enrichment activities for kids, books, movies, and all kinds of other good stuff. I love taking photos, but I would hate to make a job of it.

What is the hardest part of your process?

The process itself is just fun, and I’d stop if it weren’t. I used to stress about editing and posting photos soon after taking them because I wanted to create a sort of nature journal in real-ish time. That wasn’t sustainable, partly because the subjects that interest me are so seasonal. I might take 2,000 photos in August (peak macro season here), but only 100 in February. Now I just try to indicate when photos were taken and know that I’m the only person who particularly cares about that. For years I posted six new photos each day. Now I generally post two and skip days or longer whenever it suits me.

Right now, the biggest challenges are external. First, my vision is less and less sharp. It’s nothing severe, just a function of age, but it makes me think I’d better develop an interest in non-tiny subjects at some point. Second, some small but annoying health problems have kept me from getting out much over the last year. I used to take a hike or long walk at least once or twice a week, and more in peak bug season. Since last September, I’ve taken two longish walks and mostly stuck to the yard. On the plus side, it’s an excellent yard with an ever-growing assortment of interesting plants and insects.

While this is frustrating in some ways, it’s also a distillation of something I have always liked. Even when I was hiking all the time, I enjoyed going back to the same places, again and again, getting to know them in detail and watching the seasons roll through. Staying so close to home this year has been an extreme version of that, and some aspects of that have been very satisfying.

I should also say, for the record, that I am not technical at all. I’m not interested in new gear as long for its own sake, and I don’t like messing with camera settings or anything fiddly. My favorite piece of photo advice ever was “f/8 and be there,” which I took to mean finding a basic setup you like and focusing on the subject at hand. I like finding strange or beautiful things that other people might not notice and trying to make them interesting to a wider audience. (Wider than just me, that is.)

What is something you would love to photograph but haven't had the chance to yet? Why?

This is oddly specific, but I desperately want to find an Arizona Unicorn Mantis (Pseudovates arizonae; check out the photos here). Several have been spotted within two miles of my house, but I have never found one yet. They are otherworldly and just fascinating. Insect goals!

Are there similarities or differences in your workflow when it comes to photography and writing?

Mostly difference in that photography is relaxing, and writing is nearly impossible, at least right now.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

There are several excellent photographers who live in my corner of Arizona, and I love their work because it shows different aspects of a place I care about. Also, their photos are just gorgeous.

@fatchance is practically a neighbor and an all-around lovely person. He takes beautiful pictures of birds and desert flora, and unlike me, he takes the time to learn about and share good information about his subjects.

@thelostcanyon is another south-eastern AZ photographer I admire, and he is also a very good painter.

@inlandwest is actually my partner. We’ve lived all over the west together, and I like that his wide-open-spaces aesthetic is so different from my focus on the little things.

A little farther afield, I love @macroramblings, and Celeste, of @celestialmacros, @celestialphotography, and @occasionallybirds, for their beautiful macro work. @mostlythemarsh is another long-time favorite. He’s not a macro photographer, for the most part, but I like seeing familiar places through the seasons, and I like the stark difference between his environment (east coast/Canada) and my own.

Thanks for such wonderful answers, Amadee. Check out her beautiful photography work over at her Tumblr, @textless!

#creator spotlight #photographers on tumblr #writers on tumblr #macro photography #textless #insects #bugblr

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qqueenofhades · 8 months

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Do you have any idea where all the money in education IS going? People talk about administrators, but their percentage of the overall budget seems lowish? Facilities are expensive, but often paid for with bequests, no? Where the hell is all the money going?

The same place it's going in every other capitalistic American enterprise: to senior executives, endowments, and other places that decidedly do not "trickle down" (because you know, it never does). See my many previous posts about how college costs skyrocketed starting in the 1980s and post-secondary higher education was transformed from something in which most of the costs were governmentally subsidized to something expected to be paid (at higher and higher levels) either privately out of the consumer's pocket or from thousands of dollars in student loans. Because you guessed it, Reaganomics.

I can tell you one place it absolutely is NOT going, i.e. salaries of faculty and staff, at least in the less capitalistically sexy fields of study. The university where I work never hurts for money in the business and law schools, but because I am in the humanities/education/history, yeah, our department's budget is not in great shape. Of course, yes, COVID hit the higher-education sector like crazy (as it did everywhere else) and universities haven't figured how to recover from that, but just as with the rest of America, it's a model that is designed to funnel the vast majority of profits, i.e. from skyrocketing student tuition rates and other increased fees, to the highly compensated senior leadership and very little to the academics who do the work that makes the place, you know, RUN.

This is a bugaboo for both me and every other academic I know, because (again, just as with the rest of capitalism) it doesn't HAVE to be this way. I shouldn't be trying to manage a department that has to rely heavily on adjunct faculty every quarter and doesn't have a sustainable long-term scheduling or research model, because we're so badly understaffed with core tenure-track faculty and they won't let us hire any more, while constantly cutting our budget and giving us laughable raises (mine, after getting sterling performance reviews across the board, was a whole... 72 extra cents an hour. I wish I was joking). There is money tied up in the institution and the establishment (and as noted, I work at a well-regarded and highly-ranked private university, so it's not a matter of not having enough), but the system distributes it in a way that is inequitable and results in enforced scarcity, especially in the humanities. It's not that there isn't money to pay us fairly, it's just that they have chosen not to, because they exist in the same capitalist system as the rest of the west.

This is why there have been strikes by graduate and early-career academics in both the UK and US (I have worked/studied/taught in both places, and they're both BAD for paying lower-level academics and even established-career academics), because they simply do not pay us enough to live on or build a career on (by a long shot, ESPECIALLY if you're the only person in your household and don't have shared expenses with a partner/roommate/several roommates). This is after most of us have several advanced degrees and the debt resulting from such. We get burned out, we can't make a living in this field, we leave, and it's hollowed out even further. So. Yeah.

#anonymous #ask #school stuff #academia: not even once

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rinbowaman · 8 months

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Can you write a yan Niki fic? Your my fav writer when it comes to Yanderes 😩. Just some fluffy and yan Niki is alllllll i need to live🫶🏼 Thank you

(No smut tho❤️)

“Nik’d My Face.”

Warnings: some fluff, yandere love, suspense, mentions/hints of murder, bullying, and threats.

I'm sorry but this is only half proofread, I finished it in mid-flight on our way to visit some family for a few days and didn't have access to my word doc, so my notepad on my phone had to do the job. lol. enjoy.

Moving to a new place wasn’t easy, fitting into a new school was harder. Literally plucked from your comfort zone and placed into a new area where you were forced to acclimate yourself among strangers, you couldn’t have thought of a more turbulent event as a senior in high school. However, you were known to be strong willed, and allowing for something as miniscule as being a loner was something you refused to bring you down. It will be only a few more months until you graduate and can focus on entering college, therefore establishing a new path onto adulthood.

Attending class was going as good as it could be, just the same really. Day in and day out you frolicked among the student body and politely waved or even verbally greeted passersby, but it never went beyond that. Good thing there was only four more months left until summer break.

“Y/N, could you please take these attendance sheets to the main office?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Your teacher gratefully hands you the stack of loose papers. The building your class was held at was separated from the structure that housed the main facilities. Cutting through the courtyard, you stayed along the stone path, doing your best to ensure the documents remained placed in orderly fashion, keeping them from shifting around as the wind pick’s up. A strong gust swifts through, waving the bulk of your hair over your shoulder while you hug the sheets close to your chest, preventing them from being carried off. You hurriedly make your way to the entrance; your increased haste to get out of the wind distracted peripherals, causing you to lack self awareness of the surrounding area as you took a turn, migrating through the narrow halls. A sudden impact hits your chest, followed by swift, blackout vision. Your feet stumble, causing you to lose your balance while you feel the teetering effect of your frame leaning too far back, indicating you were in the midst of falling. The cacophony of books hitting the ground was all you heard before the rush of blood flows through your fingertips. Something firm and steady loops around your lower back, catching you from completing the fall as the attendance sheets disburse in mid air, swaying as they softly land on the ground.

"Your hands shoot out and catch the chair rail to stabilize yourself as the mass of your weight is supported by whatever it was that cradled you, preventing the fall. Shifting your eyes vividly, you adjust your sights and find yourself parallel to a young man of altitudinous height. His frame leaned towards you to establish the hold he had around your waist, while his free hand takes its own grip on the rail, mutually sustaining the balance. Straightening his posture, his forearm aids you up from the pull as he straightens his posture and stands fully upright. Surely he hadn’t meant to pull you as close as he did, or so you thought as the tip of your nose brushes against his shirt. Your back straightens and his hand slowly rides up your spine, traveling in between your shoulder blades before you instantly felt him palming the back of your head, further substantiating your stance while he steadies himself.

“You okay?” his voice was placidly deep; the image of standing mid-waist in a lake, halcyonned in tranquil surroundings, was entrenched in your mind as your brain memorized his pitch. You nod your head before looking up and inhaling a clear view of the man’s face. He was of Asian descent, though you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what nationality he was. Perhaps Chinese? Japanese? Korean even? Either way, he had striking features, and looked even taller when standing straight.

“Y–yes…thank you.” You immediately kneeled down and started collecting the loose sheets, but the hidden reason behind your intent was to cut off his intense gaze, which was amplified by his sharp eyes. He was handsome and though you were certain, given the circumstance of him being inside the main building wearing your school’s uniform, you figured he was the same age even though he looked mature, evident by his graceful entry to manhood. He kneels beside and assists you, accelerating your heartbeat. Shifting over as you extend on all fours to gain more distance, reaching for the remaining scattered sheets, you glance at the textbooks on the ground. You gently gather them into a neat pile and present them to him. “Heh, thanks.” he smiles modishly before swapping the books out for the other half of the rosters. “You new here?”

“Yes, I just transferred a couple weeks ago.”

“Nice. What’s your name?”

“Y/N…you?”

“Niki.”

You nervously shifted your gaze to the ground beneath your feet as you and Niki exchanged greetings. He was so tall and handsome, you weren’t entirely sure what else to say other than informing him of your task in taking the attendance rosters to the main office.

“Oh, I’m going that way, I can take you there.” he responds calmly. He didn’t leave you any room to respond as he gently pulled you to the side and walked you to the main staff office, yet it was strange considering when you ran into him, wasn’t he going in the opposite direction?

You shook things off and became enamored by his appeal. He was charming and rather quiet, but had a playfulness to his persona. He dropped you off at the staff office and from that moment on, NIki became a regular in your daily life. You didn’t expect to make a close friend, but he was always insisting on meeting up with you, walking you to your classes, or texting you to sneak out as your professor was in the middle of a lecture, just so he could talk with you for ten to fifteen minutes. He was so kind and thoughtful towards you, and made an effort to be a true friend by volunteering every bit of his vigor to aid you, should you need it. Little did you know, you were going to call upon his services sooner than you had thought, the best part? You didn’t even know you were doing it….

Your mother wasn’t entirely too pleased about having to re-purchase your supplies, including a new bag. She repeatedly spoke about meeting with the principal about the bullying, adamant in demanding that the perpetrators should be the ones to reimburse your items. You weren’t in the mood to make a comment, what happened earlier was the most displeasing event that occurred since you attended this school. Your father, much like Niki, believed it was all due to the bullies having a crush on you, yet it didn’t excuse them from acting so horribly considering they were all at least eighteen, the same age as you.

After replenishing your school supplies, you and your mother went back home. Running up the stairs, you started to remove the price tags and put everything together, still mentally worn and frustrated about what happened.

“Y/N! Your friend NIki is here to see you!” your mother shouts from downstairs.

“Oh okay! Coming!”

You take a quick pause and run down to see Niki standing by the doorway.

“Hey!” he says excitingly, smiling upon seeing you come down the last step.

“Hey, thank you so much for picking everything up for me.”

“No worries, I just realized I left the planner inside my car.”

“Oh, I'll come out with you.” Slipping on your shoes, you walk out to the driveway in front of your parents residence, watching as Niki dips into the back seat and grabs hold of your new planner. Handing it to you, you smiled graciously and received it.

“Thank you again Niki.”

Upon handing you the book, you noticed a spot of blood on his finger. “Oh, did you get cut?” you remarked as you inspected his hand. “I can run in and grab you a bandaid.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” he calmly remarks. Gently pinching your cheek as he thanks you for the offer. “I’m sure it’s just a paper cut.”

Bidding goodbye, you wave him off as he drives back home. At least his visit was able to take your mind off of things, and comforted you. Walking back inside, your father was making his way over to the main room, when he sees you walking back in, shutting the door behind.

“What’s that on your face?”

“Hmm?” you looked at him confusingly. Your father takes a closer look and sees a small residue of blood on your chin, from Niki’s small cut. Teasing you, your father jests out a small comment, one that made you blush. “What did you do? Nik’d your face while shaving?”

“Very funny dad.”

“Well you know, I’ve nik’d my face plenty of times, but if you ever need a lesson on how to shave your face, let me know.” He teases out one last time before patting you on the back as you chuckle and make your way back upstairs.

The next day, your peers garnished you with their stares. Initially, you had thought that they were staring out of sympathy from yesterday’s unfortunate event, yet the longer you stared back, the more you realized that the look on their faces wasn’t one of pity, instead, it almost looked as if they were…

“Why do they look so scare-”

“Hey! Y/N!”

Turning around, you watch Niki approaching you from behind, his voice cutting you off in mid thought. “Oh, hi Niki.”

“Having a good morning so far?”

“Mm yeah, so far so good. I haven’t seen those idiots from yesterday but I’m sure my teacher is going to make them apologize, plus my mom says she was going to talk to the principal.”

“Oh really? Well I hope they don’t give you a hard time anymore.” winking at you, he playfully gestures a soft punch as he gently swings and halts his movement once his knuckles softly makes contact with your cheek. You chuckled at his facetious gesture, when he calmly, yet abruptly gives you explicit instructions, and was rather adamant about it.

“Y/N…..”

“Y-yes…?”

“Go…straight to class, and wait there until I come to meet with you and take you to your next class….” His eyes widened, rather horridly as his countenance no longer flared that charming appeal you had come to know him for, instead, he looked rather fierce and ominous. “Understand?” he finishes, firmly gripping your shoulder.

“Y-yes…”

“Good.” patting you, he winks as he turns and walks away. You stood for a second, confused and shaken, what in the world conspired him to develop such a frightening gaze? It was enough to give you nightmares. You shuttered upon thinking about it, opting to shrug it off before opening the door and walking in. The teacher was not in, at least not yet. Taking your seat, a series of whispers monopolized the classroom, and you figured everyone was talking about you and the bullies from yesterday. Speaking of which, the boys that had destroyed your belongings, must have been with the principal, since they were not present in the room. Your teacher walks in, rather seldomly, and instead of taking attendance first thing, like she normally had done, she appeals to the class to close their books and to give a moment of silence.

“Class, let us take this moment to be silent for what has happened.”

You looked around confused, what in the world was she talking about? “Excuse me, Miss Catherine? What are we having a moment of silence for?” you asked in all earnest.

“Y/n, we are having a moment of silence for Jason, Griffith, and Riley.”

Your eyes widened as you leaned your head in, did you hear right? Did she just name off the bullies that tormented you yesterday, and state that the class was having a moment of silence for them? What on earth happened? Just before you could ask for closure, a peer that sat directly in front of you turned back and she was kind enough to fill you in.

“Y/N, they were in detention yesterday…you know…after what they did to you…but three hours after their restriction ended, the parents called the police, claiming they never made it home. They searched the school and found….well…they found….”

Cutting her off, your teacher gently ends the conversation by remarking how cruel the world can be, reminding the importance of situational awareness and to be cognizant of the people around. After the class paid their respects, the teacher allowed for everyone to take a ten minute break to collect themselves, and to come back to begin the review for next week’s exam.

“Remember, the boys restroom is still closed. If you need to use the restroom, you’ll have to go use the one in the building next door.”

Still confused, you stood up and walked out, scouting the hall for the girl that sat in front of you. Catching sight of her, you quickly walk up and bid her to finish her story.

“Hey, could you please tell me what’s going on? I’m still confused.”

Looking at you rather concerned, she pulls you aside and looks around. “Y/N, the boys were found in the restroom, horribly dismembered and their body parts were staged. It was terrible. The police are trying to find the culprit, and they suspect it’s one of the maintenance staff, since there was blood found on the garden tools inside the school’s storage shed.”

Your breath hitched. You couldn’t believe what you had heard, and felt as if your entire chest cavity had collapsed into your stomach. You needed air. Stumbling your way outside, you propped yourself against a pillar, breathing the air deeply as the breeze glazed over your face.

“They…they died?....Last night?...But how?”

“Hey.”

Snapping to look over your shoulder, facing the direction of where the deep voice emerged from, you watch as Niki calmly walks over to you. HIs hands remained casually tucked in his pockets as he stood beside you, gently resting his shoulder against the same pillar that decorated the entrance to the building.

“Wh…what are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” You inquired curiously.

“Oh I don’t have classes, not anymore. I finished all of them last year and graduated early, I just like to hang out at school, especially now since…well… I have you.”

Furrowing your brows together, your countenance grows eerily stern as you watch him continue to stand, flashing you his charming smile, which now has reeked a malicious aura surrounding it. “You’re…not a student? What have you been doing inside the school?”

“I told you. I’m here for you.”

You lips begin to quiver, you had no idea that he was not a student, what with him wearing the schools brand and logo, how could you have thought otherwise? Except…now that you had thought more about it, you hadn’t shared any classes with him, he was always waiting for you outside your classroom door, and the most frightening discovery of all, was…

“Niki…what happened to your cut?” Your eyes linger on the sight of perfectly intact skin, with no abrasions, cuts, or wounds of ang kind. Looking up, you slightly raise a brow in question, expecting an answer in return.

“Oh don’t worry about that, turns out it was something else.” His eyes began to widen once more, there he goes again with that suspenseful look on his face, the one that scares your soul right from your body. Gripping your shoulder, he leans to whisper in your ear…

“Be good, and be a silent girl. I’ll pick you up after class. Do anything brash and mommy and daddy might have an accident….you don’t want that, do you?”

Your eyes began to glisten with tears of fear and anxiety, what has he done? Were your parents safe? What about you? Was your safety on the line? Building enough courage to ask, you question his initiative as a single tear breaks, traveling down your cheek.

“Are….you going to hurt my family…and me?”

Letting out a quick chuckle, he raises a hand and wipes the drifting drop from your face, before responding.

“Of course not. You’re the one that I love, and dream of. Now be good, and don’t do anything sneaky.” Pairing a wink to match his devious smile, he giggles joyfully. “Now be good and I’ll see you in an hour to take you to your next class. If you do anything stupid, people will get hurt, be good so they can live. Okay?”

……

Moving to a new place is never easy, yet when you meet someone who falls hard, and is willing to kill for you, turns out, not only is ‘moving’ actually easy, it’s also a luxury that you’ll forever miss, considering your future was sealed with Niki…forever.

#niki imagines #niki fanfic #niki enhypen #niki x reader #enhypen niki #niki smau #ni ki x reader #ni ki enhypen #ni ki imagines #ni ki #nishimura riki

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