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#surreal book lists
strangebookseye · 1 year
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Mike Russell's book rec lists...
Mike Russell’s book rec lists…
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kjzx · 7 months
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[image id: a youtube comment reading "Черезчу́р экзальти́рованно чита́ет"/"The reading is way too exalted"]
I've read this comment under an audiobook a few hours ago and couldn't stop thinking about it. Is this how you wanna live your life? For your audiobooks to be read by an indifferent person? I want my audiobooks to be as over the top as the reader wants to if they get the intonations perfectly.
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magentagalaxies · 1 year
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22 days until i meet mouth congress in person!!!!
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goldrushreads · 2 months
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A Book-ish Round Up: Part 3
Continuing my book-ish round up, in case you are looking for some recs! This time, I'm highlighting two books, both literary fiction!
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Death Valley, by Melissa Broder
A woman seeks refuge in the California high desert amidst personal turmoil involving her father's critical condition and her husband's worsening illness. Seeking solace, she embarks on a recommended hike from a motel receptionist. Along the trail, she encounters an improbable, massive cactus with a peculiar opening. Curiosity leads her inside, where she discovers a mystical journey filled with a mix of desolation, richness, humor, and poignancy.
You can run but only so far, I guess. Read this book if you want to read about finding solace online, about a woman who has to be a caretaker, who feels helpless but still is trying her best, and older women!
2. Bright Young Women, by Jessica Knoll.
This book delves into the horrors of America's first celebrity serial killer's final murderous spree targeting a sorority. In January 1978, amidst the Pacific Northwest's terror, the vibrant women of a Florida State University sorority are oblivious until a fateful night of violence alters their lives. Pamela Schumacher's (protagonist #1) decision to stay home saves her from the killer's rampage, thrusting her into a terrifying mystery. Meanwhile, Tina Cannon (protagonist #2) in Seattle forms a bond with Ruth Wachowsky, who goes missing under suspicious circumstances. As Tina investigates, she uncovers connections to the Florida tragedy and sets on a collision course with Pamela, driven by a determination to hold the killer accountable. Bright Young Women presents a new perspective on the case, highlighting the exceptional lives of the victims and challenging the sensationalized narrative surrounding the killer.
I liked it just okay but I see why people might love it. You'll love it if you like true crime, alternating perspectives, and books set in college. It also highlights the victims of serial killers and their family, rather than the serial killer himself!
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asianacircus · 9 months
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reilemon · 26 days
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₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊Cool Off₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
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♡︎ pairing: Zayne x fem!reader
。°⚠︎°。MINORS DNI (18+ ONLY)。°⚠︎°。
♡︎ cw: unprotected sex (oops), office sex, semi-public sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, I think that's it?
♡︎ word count: 3.4k
♡︎ synopsis: what to do when you "accidentally" flash your doctor?
♡︎ a/n: I haven't written smut in like three years. So if you think my writing is cringe, just keep scrolling idk.
♡︎ special thanks to my beta reader ♡︎ @its-de ♡︎ for reading and helping me with this
banner by @cafekitsune
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You finally have a day off and you want to use this free time to run errands. However, it's also a hot summer day and you need to dress accordingly. After cleaning your apartment and stocking up your fridge, you have -
meet up with your friend
shop for some new summer clothes and bed sheets
doctor’s appointment
You'd just skip the last one because you feel fine, even during the hot weather.
But you know damn well Dr Zayne will not be pleased with you if you do that. And he's not only your doctor now (and a childhood friend), but an actual friend who you spend most of your free time with. Circumstances of him being your assigned physician, some other stuff that happened in the last few months, brought you so much closer that you couldn't help but develop a huge crush on him. And how could you not when he's so kind, warm, attentive, always makes time for you, funny in his own way... you could spend the whole day thinking of all the stuff that makes you want to be more than friends.
Actually, you might be more than just friends. Lately, you’ve been going on a lot of “dates”; visiting festivals, trying new restaurants but also frequenting your favorite ones, dragging him to the arcade… he’s started insisting on being the one to drop you off at home after a night out. Just a couple of weeks ago when you were sick, he came to your place and took care of you. Both of you ended up falling asleep on your bed watching your comfort movie – actually, he wanted to read his book but ended up invested in the plot and eventually fell asleep before you, tired from his shift and nursing you back to health. You had enough strength to get up to pull out a freshly washed blanket from the closet and cover him. You lied back down, finding comfort in watching Zayne’s peaceful sleeping face. That’s how you fell asleep.
The next morning you found yourself waking up on Zayne’s chest, your form enveloping his. He was gently stroking your back, waiting for you to open your eyes. You don’t know whether you were the one that latched onto him during the night, or if he’s the one that pulled you in; nonetheless, it felt surreal to wake up like this. You looked up into his beautiful hazel green eyes, and you just shared a moment of pure intimacy. Then you got self-conscious of him having a close up of your morning face, which made you immediately jump from the bed and sprint to the bathroom. So, he did manage to nurse you back to health in one day.
You really wish he made the first move already. With all the stolen glances, lingering touches, cuddling, you genuinely think he feels the same way. But you are also his patient, so maybe he feels uncomfortable starting anything, like he’s crossing a boundary and abusing his position as your physician? Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?
Or maybe you’re just delusional and ovulating.
Okay, back to the present. You’re not going to pass up the opportunity to see your crush (this is more than just a crush, honestly) and you add one more task to the list
get some dessert for Zayne
And you want to look cute for him, so you opt for your new backless summer dress.
☃︎⋆⁺₊☃︎⋆⁺₊☃︎⋆⁺₊
“Thank fuck, I look okay.” You murmur as you check yourself out in the mirror in the bathroom of Zayne's office.
It's just before 8pm, your scheduled checkup. Both of you were too busy to hang out for more than a week, and you can’t wait to see him. You took this opportunity to leave the heavy shopping bags on the sofa, the bag with dessert on his desk, and quickly freshen up in the bathroom. It was so hot today, still is, but thanks to the dress you didn't sweat that much.
You exit the bathroom the same time he enters the office. You catch how his usually stern gaze behind his glasses softens at the sight of you.
“Hey!” You don’t waste any time and shorten the distance between you, wrapping your arms around his neck giving him a peck on the cheek.
Zayne’s hands stiffly hover over your waist, stunned by the enthusiastic greeting. You always have a big smile on your face when you see him, but you’re only this forward when you have some alcohol in your system. He doesn’t smell it on your breath now though.
“Did you miss me that much, or are you trying to coax me to skip the check up?”
You pull away with a pout and a blush on your cheeks. Feeling a little embarrassed, you go and sit on a chair across his desk, steering the conversation towards the dessert you brought him.
With an entertained smirk, he sat on his chair and indulged in just chatting with you, and making plans for the evening. He feels at ease now that you’re here.
Zayne cuts the conversation short to take care of some paperwork, so you entertain yourself with your phone, checking what cafes are open. You sit there in silence, not wanting to disturb him. The room is air-conditioned and you would think you'd start to cool down, but it's impossible to do so when your crush is right across you. You try to focus on your phone but your eyes keep darting between the screen and Zayne’s handsome focused features…his hand holding the pen… his long fingers...
“You need to ask me something?” Zayne peers over his glasses.
Busted!
For like a hundredth time.
You fidget in your seat. “Um, no. I don’t wanna disturb you.”
He closes a file and puts papers aside. “I’m done. Go ahead.”
You make up how you wanted to ask him if he wanted to visit the café on your screen, only to for him to point out it’s closed when you show it to him. Not smooth at all.
You nervously scratch your back, and that when it hits you. You didn't wear a bra today!
In your defense, of course you're not going to wear a bra with the backless dress and when it's so hot outside, and it would be okay if this was just a hangout, but the main reason why you're here is because of the check up! Well, now you're getting even more flustered and you can feel nervous sweat forming everywhere. Great.
Zayne's voice fades into focus.
"Is everything okay?"
“Yeah, let’s just go find a cafe that’s nearby!” You prop yourself to sit up and make a run for it, but the seriousness in Zayne’s tone stops you.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
You wave your hand “I feel great, you don't need to -"
"That's good to hear." He humors you, setting the stethoscope around his neck, eyes not leaving yours.
You engage in a short staring contest, but you never win those with him. You hold back the bratty whine as you get up and walk towards the chair. Should you address this? What would be more awkward – saying that you don’t have a bra on or just slipping off the top of the dress, flashing him? But Zayne is a professional; he probably saw plenty of breasts from other patients and didn’t bat an eye. And maybe he even noticed that you’re braless.
You sit on the chair next to him and Zayne gives you an amused look. “Good girl.”
It was like a reflex - the moment you heard those words, your hands slipped off the top of your dress. Zayne pauses, his eyes locked at the sight before him. Oh shit, did you manage to make the situation awkward after all? Just when you wanted to open your mouth to say anything, he blinks and proceeds to do what he’s supposed to do. You suck in a breath when the icy cold stethoscope touches your chest spreading goosebumps across your skin, making your nipples hard. Zayne's eyes are focused somewhere to the side, but you can see light redness peppered on his cheeks. The two of you sit there in silence while he checks your heartbeat. You try to compose yourself, take slow breaths, but your heart is giving you away.
When he’s done, he takes off the instrument and places it on the table. He clears his throat “Nothing irregular, your heartbeat is a little faster, but the heat is probably to blame.”
Right, the heat.
You hope that the redness, still on his face, and his ears, is not from the sun.
Again, you have two choices – do you pull the top up and act like nothing happened, continue the same ‘will they, won’t they’ routine – or do you want to do something about this, take the first step and find out once and for all if this infatuation is one sided?
You take his hand, making him look at you, ‘Well, can you help me cool down, Doctor?’
Zayne eyes widen slightly, switching between your hand and your gaze, only guessing where you’re going with this.
You gently place his cold hand just above your left breast ‘Is this okay?’ you whisper.
Zayne’s irises are almost black from how dilated his pupils are. As he gazes into your doe eyes, the hand resting on your chest travels up across your skin and lands on the side of your neck. He takes off his glasses, leans towards you, his lips a breath away from yours, “You’re walking on thin ice, darling.”
He grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you into a searing kiss. Zayne is kissing you like a man starved, like he's been waiting for this for so long, afraid that this moment will slip away all too quickly. His other hand wraps tightly around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing your chests together, feeling each other’s heartbeats. You moan into the kiss, surprised by the intensity of it and the desperation of his embrace. His lips are so soft and tender, just like you imagined too many times. The hand on your waist travels up to grab your breast, the sensation of his big cold hand on your heated skin making you gasp against his lips. He seizes the moment to lick your bottom lip, then slipping his tongue, yours quickly meeting it.
Suddenly, both of his hands land on your shoulders pulling away.
He utters ‘fuck’ (this might be the first time hearing him say the f word, and you’re embarrassed how excited it made you.) He holds your chin with thumb and index finger, ‘Do you wish to continue?’
You utter ‘yes’ and grab him by the black necktie locking your lips again. His hands find the top of your thighs, then sneaking their way down to bunch up your dress over your knees.
“Hold onto me.” He murmurs between kisses, and you oblige, catching onto his shoulders. Zayne grabs you by the back of your soft thighs, lifting you from the chair and placing you on his desk, so effortlessly and swiftly, like you weigh nothing.
Your fingers comb through his soft, thick hair, relishing in the fact of being able to touch it like this. His hands cup your face, distancing his lips from yours. You expectantly look up to see his tender, yearning gaze. He looks like he’s about to say something, but then he kisses you again, this time softly, slowly deepening it, stealing your breath away. His soft lips move to kiss and nip at the side of your neck, his hands giving attention to your breasts again. He caresses both of them, and it doesn’t take long for one of his hands to be replaced by his lips. His hot tongue teases around the nipple. But when he starts sucking on it, while simultaneously playing with the other one with his fingers, a loud moan escapes your lips.
Zayne’s smirks against the sensitive nipple, “You need to stay quiet, darling.”
You were so dazed with lust that you completely forgot that there could be people outside his office. You bite your bottom lip and nod.
He nuzzles into the crook of your neck, one hand bunching up your dress more and resting on your hip, while the one on your nipple sneaks its way down, teasing the band of your underwear. You feel his fingers slide down, rubbing you over your soaked panties, making you move your hips, craving more friction.
“Fuck.” He breathes against your ear, “You’re already so wet for me.”
The fingers travel towards the band of your underwear and tug on it, and you lift your hips to let him slide it down your legs. Then he stashes your panties into the pocket of his pants.
He catches you by surprise when he kneels down in front of your cunt, your legs closing on reflex, but Zayne grabs your thighs before they could squish his head.
He gently strokes them, "Let me see you."
You’re hesitant about it, but you remember that you took extra steps when you freshened up in the bathroom. Slowly, you spread your legs, lifting your feet to rest on the edge of the desk. Cool air against your soaked pussy sends shivers all over your body.
His hands rest on the plush of your inner thighs. His eyes are mesmerized by the sight in front of him. You almost feel self-conscious by the close-up he’s getting.
"Zayne –" You squirm under his stare.
Snapping out of his daze, he meets your eyes "I’m sorry. You’re just so much more beautiful than I imagined."
Than he imagined? The statement makes your cheeks even deeper red, your pussy more wet and impatient.
Feeling impatient himself, Zayne starts by placing gentle kisses on your inner thigh. The hand on the opposite side follows the same trail, his slender fingers stopping to tease your wet folds, the contact making you gasp and involuntarily clench your thighs.
"Relax, angel." His breath fans over your pussy, not making it easier but you try anyway.
The digits slowly glide over the wetness, bathing in your juices. Your hips flinch as his fingertips lightly circle your clit, thighs trembling as digits are replaced with his hot tongue. It glides flat over your folds, stopping to circle the sensitive nub. The tip of the tongue flicks over it, circles it, again and again, your cunt dripping with both his saliva and your arousal. His middle finger slides in, ring finger shortly after, curling to reach and rub that delicate spot inside you; he sucks and licks your clit while finger fucking you, and your thighs are now shaking, toes curling, as intense waves of pleasure course through your body.
Your hold onto Zayne’s hair, and roll your hips in the same rhythm of his fingers, chasing your release, "Zayne… I’m gonna–"
He locks eyes with you and continues what he’s doing; you come shortly after, covering your mouth with your hand.
Zayne helps you come down from your high, places soft pecks on your thighs again and stands up, pulling you into another breathtaking kiss.
Your hands frantically find his belt and start unbuckling it.
Zayne breaks the kiss, ‘I don’t have any condoms here.’
You shrug ‘Just pull out.’
‘That’s not very respo – ‘
‘Well, you’re a doctor; you can prescribe me some plan b pills.’ you innocently flutter your lashes.
He chuckles and starts taking off his tie and shirt, and you take a moment to gaze at the strong, chiseled muscles of his torso, his arms and those shoulders. Zayne, amused at your dazed and shameless ogling of his  shirtless physique, reaches down to unzip his pants, taking them and underwear off in the same go, his hard cock smacking against his shaved pelvis. You suck in a breath when your eyes land on it. He's long and thick, curved just right, tip glistening with so much precum. You hand wraps around it, stroking and feeling the pulsing veins under your touch.
Zayne’s breath hitches ‘Are you sure – fuck…’ He groans when you press his length against your slippery folds, teasingly moving your hips.
‘Yes… I need you.’
With those magic words, Zayne swipes all the papers off the table, grabs you behind the knees and lifts your legs further, and you lean back to rest on your elbows.
His dick strokes your slit, tip teasing the entrance, but you're so impatient.
'Zaynee-' you whine.
He closes his eyes, jaw clenched. Even though your ‘friend’ is the embodiment of calm and collected, right now he’s barely holding onto his composure. His flushed cheeks and red ears, ragged breathing are exposing how badly he wanted, needed, this and how he’s trying so hard not to cum right here before even slipping the tip in.
But he doesn’t want to wait any longer; with your needy whines spurring him on, he places his red cockhead against you, your drenched pussy making it easy to slide it in.
His leg muscles tremble, trying to restrain himself from bottoming out the same second; with shallow thrusts, he slowly slides it all the way in. He towers over you, one hand resting on the desk, the other cupping your face. His hips roll at languid pace, his hooded eyes never leaving your face, watching you adjust to his size.
As you get comfortable, you grab him by back of his neck “Faster, please…” You breathe. He leans down, locking your lips into a sloppy kiss.
He slowly picks up the pace, his hand starts playing with your nipples again, and now it's really hard keep your voice down. You keep breaking the kiss in desperate need to catch your breath, but moans escape your lips as well. Zayne grabs your upper arms and pushes you down further. His muscular torso pressed against yours, his pelvis rubbing against your clit.
“Zayne - I'm close”
“Try to stay quiet, angel.” he grunts, his eyes locked on your face, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He angles himself so his hand can reach down and rub your clit, and it’s too much for you - you cum a few seconds later and Zayne has to slip two fingers of his other hand into your mouth to keep you from screaming. You still whimper and moan over his fingers. He slows down to help you ride out the orgasm, and pulls out the fingers to kiss your lips.
'Is it okay to pick up the pace now? I'm so close.'
You only nod, unable to form any words. He plants a kiss on your temple and moves onto kissing and sucking your neck. Then he goes back to just looking at your face while he picks up the pace, your legs locking around his waist, pulling him even deeper. You bite your bottom lip, but at this point, you feel it's impossible to stay quiet. And now it's not only you who is making noise, but the desk, although sturdy, is starting to move and creak.
You gasp as he suddenly lifts you off the table with his big arms wrapped around your torso. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding onto him. His hands grabs your ass and starts moving your hips in unison with his, his throbbing dick thrusting so much deeper, all the juices leaking down his balls and onto the floor.
You latch your teeth onto his neck to keep yourself from screaming while he’s panting feverishly into your ear.
‘I’m gonna come soon –‘
You meet his gaze ‘Don’t pull out.’
His hips stutter at your words, eyes widening for a second. He curses under his breath and picks up the pace. You pull him into a sloppy kiss, lewd gasps and pants interrupting.
His hands squeezing your ass in a bruising grip, he grunts against your lips, and you feel intense throbbing of his cock; warm liquid filling you up, sending shivers all over your sweaty body.
His slow pumps let his thick cum drip out, making a mess of his pants and the floor. You can feel how fast his heart is beating against your chest. The two of you catch your breath as your lips share a languid kiss, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies.
After pulling out, Zayne sits you on his chair. He kneels in front of you, caresses your cheek, his eyes full of adoration. “I never thought our first time would look like this.”
You lean into his palm, looking at him with sweet innocent eyes, “Oh? What did you imagine then?”
“I can show you later.”
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goodqueenaly · 1 month
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I posted about it a few days ago, but if you haven’t seen, Steven Attewell, perhaps better known on here as @racefortheironthrone, just passed away.
Steven Attewell wasn’t just a great writer and analyst (though he obviously was), nor just a great podcaster (though he was that too), nor just a great academic mind (though he was that as well). Attewell was a supremely kind, thoughtful, funny, and upstanding human being, someone I was very fortunate to call my dear friend. Hardly a day or two went by without one of us bouncing ideas for an essay or post off the other, or swapping some historical trivia, or sharing thoughts about the latest MCU project. When I got engaged, he was one of the first people I told, and whenever I, say, read a book about New York’s gilded age, or listened to a podcast episode about Reginald Pole, or learned that some Americans were still using hand crank phones into the 80s (no, really), I often thought “Attewell would appreciate that”. 
Even now, it seems utterly surreal to think of him as passed. Just a week before he died, I had been telling him how much my fiancé adored his X-Men ‘97 podcast. A few days before, he and I had been joking about the recent east coast earthquake. I knew how excited he was about his “Tyrion IX” ASOS CBC essay, since he and I had been discussing it in the weeks before he died, and his Tumblr posts right to the end displayed that same high quality you could always expect from him. I keep waiting for my messenger app to pop up with his name again, or his familiar avatar to appear at the top of my Tumblr feed with another ask from him. 
We have lost a giant of the ASOIAF community, but far more importantly, we have lost a very good person. Read some of Attewell’s works - “Who Stole Westeros” is a seminal piece IMO, as is his CBC analysis of “Eddard XI”, but you can’t go wrong with anything he wrote, and if I tried to list every piece I could recommend from him it would be a novel in itself. Listen to some of his podcasts or vlogs - his excitement over X-Men ‘97 is infectious. Keep reading and writing, just as he was doing. Miss him and grieve, by all means, but know that for the many people, myself included, he inspired and touched and interacted with, his memory and impact won’t be forgotten. 
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txttletale · 2 months
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any particular favorite more niche games? trying to take advantage of the spring sale to play new things, and you have really good taste in media that looks extremely cool but that ive never heard of
i have a top 50 list here if you want a detailed list of games i really like -- going off a vague vibes-based idea of what's 'more niche', i'd really recommend:
pyre: the most underrated and best supergiant game. puts you in a visually stunning totally unique world where criminals are banished to an underground wasteland where they play basketball against each other to decide who's allowed to return to the surface. incredible characters brimming with personality and a world that really comes alive.
dujanah: a claymation walkaround rpg about conflict in the middle east. surreal and tonally dissonant and dreamlike. fascinating and thought provoking and really impressive.
if not us: i don't know if this is on steeam actually but it's like. a heartbreaking piece of interactive fiction about five world-saving heroes who fail to save the world. Tragedy in the truest sense
secret little haven: about being a young closeted trans girl figuring herself out on the internet. spoke v. personally to me -- obviously i can't necessarily say the same for you, but it's still great.
the big con: it's like if a saturday morning 90s kid's cartoon with a clearly broadcasted moral had the moral 'stealing is awesome'. cute and fun and pretty funny
black book: a clearly lovingly researched showcase of russian folklore and history cleverly disguised as a deckbuilder
silicon dreams: blade runner simulator. you interview robots to figure out if they're defective or not -- some genuine fucking moral dilemmas and a difficult game with smart dialogue puzzles to boot. you really gotta figure out how these people tick and the process is really fun
these are 'niche' in the sense that even people who talk a lot about indie games and gay shit don't really bring them up in my experience, but if you check out my top 50 i think most of the things on it are 'niche' in the sense of being indie games or low-profile releases
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blindmagdalena · 8 months
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The Athenaeum Portrait
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18+ 4.7k homelander x f!reader. established relationship, first time having sex, reader has a complicated relationship with sex, abuse of superpowers for cunnilingus, overstimulation, penetrative sex, lite sublander, praise kink, slight coercion, unhealthy dynamics, implied codependency, implied verbal abuse. just covering my bases here.
For every moment of love that is warm bliss on a summer afternoon, it is also an exercise in stumbling wildly in the dark. Never has this been more true in the case of Homelander, a man whose broken edges and unfinished seams have hardened into hazards that threaten to ensnare and maim anyone who steps too close.
You wouldn't have him any other way.
AO3 link. inspired by this anonymous prompt. thank you! 🖤
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Homelander did not enter your life so much as he bull-rushed into it, a living whirlwind that uprooted you and hurled you into a familiar yet strange new world as unceremoniously as the tornado that took Dorothy to Oz. 
Vought Tower sparkles just as vibrant as the Emerald City, and provides no less surreal of a backdrop to your new life. Homelander's penthouse is a bizarre caricature of personhood, loaded with hundreds of years of American history. It would ring false, just another aspect of his brand, if not for the fact he can—and often does—regale you with a laundry list of historical facts on any piece in the collection.
This is how you find out that Gilbert Stuart is one of his favorite painters. When you ask Homelander why that is, he shrugs. "He painted over a thousand portraits, and he's most famous for the one he didn't finish. Ironic, huh?"
The Athenaeum Portrait, it's called. An unfinished portrait of George Washington that was replicated and sold by Stuart over a hundred times before his death.
The original was never completed.
The more time you spend in proximity to him, the more you start to understand why the piece resonates with him. You see replicas of him sold throughout the world on a daily basis, his face synonymous with Vought’s branding. There is a completeness to the commercial image of Homelander, America’s wholesome hero, but behind closed doors, you see his frayed and unfinished edges.
You feel his desperation for someone who will complete him in the way he touches you. He takes hold of your hands and brings them to the places where he is sketched at best, a ready and yielding canvas for your fingers. He likes when you stroke his hair, and sometimes touching his face turns his eyes glassy. There is a woundedness to the way he seeks your love, like he’s never entirely sure whether to expect the carrot or the stick.
You’ve never raised the stick to him, but it’s clear that those who came before you certainly did. It’s difficult to imagine that a man as powerful as him has been hurt like this, but he is a painfully obvious man at times, wearing his emotions like the scars his impervious body will never show.
When you lie down to read on the couch, he’s drawn to you like a magnet. He has no problem making space for himself within your bubble, sprawling on top of you, snaking his arms around your middle, his head settled on your sternum. You smile to yourself and rest your book on the top of his head as you read.
He gives a small grunt of complaint, but you’re fairly certain he’s smiling, too.
For every night of domestic bliss, so too are there sudden perils. Unexplained nights of absence, wild mood swings, fits of paranoia. He fights as many battles in his own mind as he does on the city streets and on foreign soil, a living weapon used to the fullest extent by Vought and the American government.
It feels like you lose him temporarily, like he becomes someone else. He paces around you like a caged tiger with his teeth bared, daring you to give him a reason to bite. You never do, and he never does, but sometimes you worry just how close of a call it was.
Occasionally he comes to you spattered in muck and bloody viscera. On these nights, he can’t seem to comprehend your presence, your gentleness, your love. It’s as if these concepts ring false in the wake of everything he has been made to endure. It’s suspicious to him that you would love something so repulsive, so opposite of everything Vought has polished his image into being.
He screams at you for this, takes you by the shoulders and demands you explain what he cannot understand, but you can’t. You can’t explain something that you don’t always understand.
Your relationship with Homelander is a delicious, precarious thing. Like a perfectly ripe peach, its closeness to something bruised and rotten makes it all the sweeter.
When things are good, they’re very good. He’s sweet, a romantic who learned everything he knows about romance from jewelry ads and Valentine’s Day specials. He brings you roses on random days of the week and adores showering you in gifts, especially the kind you wear. He tends to gravitate towards soft, velvety fabrics for your clothes because he likes the feel of them. He buys you perfumes that smell like vanilla and pink pepper. He likes fresh, warm scents. Nothing too floral or artificial.
Most importantly, he likes you. There’s rarely a day that the two of you don’t make each other laugh. His sense of humor is strange, but in the same way that yours is. Sometimes it feels like you’re two aliens creating a brand new language that only the two of you will ever know. The more time you spend together, the less the people outside of your relationship seem to understand you.
Not that it matters much. You spend the majority of your time with him these days, consumed by the excitement of this thrilling new thing the two of you share. Homelander is profoundly tactile, always needing to feel or touch you in some way. He loves to kiss you, content to make out languidly with you until your lips start to chap.
You’ve learned to keep lip balm on hand at all times.
Inevitably though, his hunger for intimacy outgrows quaint touches and kisses. You’re cuddled up together on his couch, only half paying attention to the movie playing. Homelander is nuzzling at your neck, pressing warm, wet kisses to it while his gloved hand slips beneath your shirt, fondling your breast through your bra. There’s something endearingly innocent about it, like a fumbling teenager piloting the body of a man in his forties.
Sex is nice enough. You have nothing against the act, but you’ve never felt as though you get as much out of it as the partners you’ve had in the past. Homelander’s touch feels good to you because it’s his, and because you know he wants to make you feel good in his enjoyment of you. You reciprocate by pushing your fingers into his hair, nails scraping along his scalp, eliciting a sweet, rumbling moan from him against your neck.
“Want you,” he mumbles fervently against your skin, his need so palpable it gives you goosebumps. “Can I have you?”
You knew this was coming. It’s not that you don’t want to fuck him, it’s that he’s not the only one whose portrait feels incomplete. You’re a fully grown adult, and never in your life have you managed to pleasure yourself to completion. In your youth, you’d just faked it for partners once you’d had your fill. With Homelander, you’re not even sure that would work. You’re not sure you would want it to.
He’s got a thing about lies, even little white ones.
You swallow and softly say, “Yes.” Ultimately, you do want him to have you. You just hope that what he gets doesn’t disappoint him.
He smiles into the crook of your neck, withdrawing his hand from beneath your shirt. He kisses you as he gathers you effortlessly up into his arms, carrying you to his bedroom. His strength is another aspect of why sex has made you nervous: the internet is full of horror stories of accidental sexual mutilation occurring between humans and supes. 
However, Homelander seems hyper aware of your fragility versus his power. He’s never harmed you. It seems to come naturally to him after years and years of navigating a world not made to withstand him. In the same way you’re capable of handling an egg without shattering it, he has learned how to hold you.
He lays you down on the bed, and then begins the ritual of shedding his signature suit, starting with his belt. You recline, content to watch him, but your gaze seems to make him uncharacteristically self conscious. You’ve never seen him without his suit before, another little quirk that you’ve largely just accepted to this point.
“Aren’t you gonna…” He gestures vaguely to you, expecting you to undress as well.
“Just enjoying the show,” you say coyly, attempting to lighten up a bit of the tension in his expression.
It doesn’t work. The furrow of his brows deepens slightly. “Ah, well. Y’know, the suit, they uh, pad it up some, so don’t–it’s different,” he says, fumbling over his words.
Your expression softens. “I know. It’s okay. I’m excited to see you,” you say, sitting up. In solidarity, you pull your shirt off first, and then wiggle out of your pants, kicking them off the bed. Homelander smiles at this, and works his pants off the rest of the way, kicking off his boots as well, leaving behind just a pair of dark red briefs. You sit up on your knees to help him with the fastenings of his suit top, which he seems to be the most apprehensive about.
To distract him from it, you kiss him. He melts eagerly into the press of your lips, slipping his tongue between yours with that same hunger to taste, to feel, to have. He’s bolder now that you’re no longer playing the part of spectator, shrugging his top from his shoulders and letting it fall with a surprisingly heavy thud to the floor. His ungloved hands skim up your sides, warm and positively thrumming with excitement.
You explore him as well, mapping out the slopes of his body that have previously been hidden from you. He’s leaner, more manageable than the ridiculous bulk of the suit. Part of you had always assumed there was a level of exaggeration in the chiseled, over the top musculature of the suit, but his build is still more slender than you expected. Regardless, it does nothing to detract from his raw strength as he catches you by the backs of your thighs and flips you onto your back, startling out a giddy bark of laughter from you.
He grins down at you, descending to catch you in another slow, consuming kiss, making space for himself between your legs. His lips trail from yours to the corner of your mouth, your jaw, your neck. He turns his head to messily suck two fingers into his mouth, and then slips his hand down the front of your underwear. He finds your clit with surprising precision–someone definitely taught him that–and begins to rub slow figure-eights over it, as gentle as he is deft. It does feel good, so you close your eyes and try to simply enjoy it for what it is, for the touch and warmth and intimacy of it all.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t come. This is still nice. You can feel his desire for you in the heat of his body, in the hot huffs of his breath wafting across your skin between kisses. He eventually slips a single finger inside you, patiently working you open. You drag your nails up his back and into his hair, breathing deeply, willing your mind to pause and let you experience this pleasantry in the same way you would a hot bath or a nice massage.
However, no matter how you try, the looming matter of expectation weighs heavily on your mind. You’ve never been comfortable with the attention being solely on your pleasure: it feels like dangling a treat in front of someone on a treadmill. They’re running for something they’ll never reach.
“Hey,” Homelander calls quietly, yanking you from your mental downward spiral. You see him above you, no longer tucked against you, working your skin with his lips and teeth. His brows are slightly furrowed. “You’re quiet. Am I doing something wrong?”
“No,” you exhale, the question immediately putting a wash of guilt through you. “No, not at all, feels good. I’m just really in my head right now,” you admit, cupping either side of his face. “You’re doing great, I’m ready. I want you inside me,” you tell him in a breathless flurry, pulling him down into a kiss. 
He does relax at that, sinking in against you for a moment before lifting himself back up. He shucks his underwear down and then pulls yours off as well, lifting both of your legs over his shoulder as he slips the panties completely off of you. While he does that, you unclasp and toss your bra aside. He turns his head to kiss the side of your leg before he lowers them both back down around his waist, lowering himself back down atop you.
The thick head of his cock presses wetly to your cunt, sliding up and down, spreading his slick and yours. You can already feel his excitement in the tension of his body, his shoulders drawn tight beneath your hands. You knead them, rolling your palms against steel-woven muscle. “That’s it,” you encourage, working to relax the both of you. “Nice and slow, mmm… Fuck, you’re big,” you say, biting your lip as he spreads you around the girth of his cock.
“You’re tight,” he moans in response, already sounding frayed. He moves his hips in slow, slightly jerky motions–clearly holding back for your comfort–until he finally bottoms out, keening so sweetly in your ear you can’t help but stroke his hair, hushing him.
“Good, good, feel so good in me,” you coo, the words a familiar script. He shudders for the praise, kissing down your chest, mouthing hungrily at your breast, the same he’d been fondling earlier. His mouth is hot and wet, perfectly pleasant as he sucks at your nipple, moaning into your skin. You cradle his head in both hands, adjusting to the onslaught of sensation. 
It’s been awhile since anyone fucked you. The feel of it is just as alien as you remember, but you’re distracted by the persistent swirl of his tongue alternating with the pull of his lips as he lavishes attention on one breast, and then the other. With his bare skin against yours, you’re more aware than ever of the superhuman frequency of his body, how he seems to literally vibrate with restraint and eagerness in equal measure. It’s like there is a line of semi trucks driving by you, the bed itself buzzing with it.
“You’re amazing,” you marvel quietly, tightening your legs on either side of him to feel that preternatural hum against even more of your skin, tingling your inner thighs. “You feel amazing.”
He grunts out a needy, strained noise at that, followed by a jagged thrust deep into you. To your surprise, you realize then that he’s coming apart, dull nails biting crescent marks into your skin, clutching you as tightly as he dare allow himself. You thought that maybe his powers would give him superhuman stamina as well, that he might fuck you raw before he came, but if the shaky cadence of his thrusts are any indication, he’s already holding himself back.
“I can feel how bad you wanna come,” you murmur, carding your fingers through his hair. “Mm? You can, you can come in me,” you say, feeling his whole body shiver from your words. You clench, tightening up around his cock so suddenly that it makes him gasp.
“Fffuck, fuck, oh god, y’can’t–fucking Christ, you–mmm, fuck!” He rasps, choking on his own breath as he comes, burying his face between your breasts at the same time he slams in deep, fading into tight, erotic little whimpers as he loses himself to the rhythmic clench of your cunt. You do it purposefully, milking him of his orgasm, enamored with how thoroughly you’ve reduced a demigod to these simpering noises. The flood of come is hot inside you, already dripping out where your bodies are connected.
All that, and he still never lost control. You doubt his fingerprints will even bruise, though you find a part of yourself wishing they would. 
Homelander comes down gradually from his high, limp against you, breathing shallowly against your skin. He looks dazed, eyes only half open. It’s cute, which isn’t a word you necessarily would have ever thought to associate with The Homelander before you started dating him. When he looks up at you, you smile, already more satisfied than you’ve been with sex in your life.
“That was playing dirty,” he tells you, voice a touch fried.
“I just wanted to make you feel good,” you respond simply, watching as he nuzzles into your hand.
He rumbles out a low hum, kissing your palm. “Which means it’s my turn to make you feel good,” he says, moving to slide out of your hands. You stop him, taking hold of his arm.
“You don’t need to,” you assure him, tugging gently to lure him back up. “Really. That felt incredible.”
He frowns, looking every bit like a confused puppy. “But you didn’t come.”
“I know,” you say, that ball of tightness coiling back up in your gut. “It’s okay.”
He exhales an incredulous little scoff. “What kind of boyfriend d’you take me for? I’m gonna make you come,” he says, shrugging off your hand as he moves down your body, sliding out of you.
“Homelander,” you implore, reaching out for him. “Really, it’s okay, you don’t need to–”
“What, you don’t think I can?” He asks. You can see the challenge in his eyes, but you also recognize the potential of a stinging wound to his ego in those words.
You sigh, folding your arm over your eyes as you lay your head back. “It’s not that I don’t think you specifically can, I’m… Eugh.” You take a deep breath. “It’s not something that I do. I can’t. I’ve never been able to,” you say to the darkness of your arm, fingers rolling apprehensively. “And I don’t want you to take this as some kind of challenge, and then be upset when it doesn’t happen,” you say, speaking from very specific experience.
The space between you is silent for long enough that your curiosity beats out your apprehension, and you lower your arm. Homelander stares at you from between your legs, expression pinched, eyes flickering slightly, as if he’s solving the world’s most complicated puzzle in his brain. His eyes narrow softly, his bewilderment showing.
“Like… You haven’t come… Ever?”
“Ever,” you confirm. “It’s not that I haven’t tried, there’s just something broken.”
He processes that a moment longer. “But all of this still felt good, at least… Yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course it did, I liked it. You really do feel amazing,” you assure him, lest he think you were lying with what you said earlier. “It just never finishes for me. That’s all.”
“Alright,” he says, the gears in his brain clearly turning. “So. Sure, no crossing the finish line, but I can still, y’know. Take you for a cruise? A little joyride?” He asks, making you laugh softly.
He really is cute. Sweeter than one might expect, too.
“A joyride?” You echo with a quirk of your brow, smiling.
He smiles, too. “Yeah. No destination, just a little drive.”
“I can do a little drive,” you say, feeling that knot of tension in your gut begin to untangle itself.
“Good,” he purrs, shouldering down between your legs. “Gimme that pillow,” he says, which you promptly do. He slides it under your ass, adjusting your hips until the angle is just right. He smooths his hands up and down the outsides of your thighs, glancing up at you. “Now, you just sit back and relax. Close your eyes, and imagine some smooth jazz.”
“I hate jazz,” you laugh.
He laughs as well, breath rolling over your wet pussy in hot waves. “Well, fuck, imagine something you do like.”
Relaxing back against the bed, you exhale a deep breath, closing your eyes. The first wet, hot slide of his tongue makes you jump a little. He responds by gripping your thighs and pinning you still, which does admittedly run a little thrill up your spine. You test his grip by pushing against it, and when that fails, pulling away, but neither grant you any leeway.
“Squirming already?” He asks between drags of his tongue.
“I like feeling your strength,” you say through a pleased little smile.
He gives an intrigued hum at that and spreads your legs wider, forcing them down against the bed. To even your surprise, that pushes a small, thin noise out of you. Encouraged, he presses his tongue inside, lapping up the mess he made inside you. It feels fine enough, but after a bit of his tongue pushing in and out of you, you give his hair a little tug. “Clit,” you say simply, a command he happily obliges, drawing back up to suck your clit between his lips.
Without the looming pressure to achieve some kind of euphoric release at the end, you find yourself more capable of simply enjoying this for what it is. Homelander is good at this, but it’s really his persistence that elevates the experience. At no point do you feel him begin to waver or slow, or shift and breathe in impatience. He’s relentlessly consistent, swirling his tongue and lapping at you like he’s starved for the taste.
You sigh, idly scratching his scalp as you toy with his hair. “Mmm, that feels good,” you say, more aware of the effect your praises have on him. He makes an appreciative noise, nuzzling into your cunt. One odd thing is that your clit is starting to ache in a way you’re unfamiliar with. You shift back a touch, but Homelander pulls you right back in.
“Greedy,” you accuse, which draws a low laugh from him, the rumble of it making you shiver a little. You must be growing oversensitized. You’ve lost track of how long he’s been at this.
He pulls back, and the cool air almost stings for the loss of his hot mouth, but that ache was beginning to grow uncomfortable anyways. You’re just about to thank him for his service when a whole new sensation steals the words right off your tongue. You don’t even know how to describe it: hot, pressure, but weightless. Your whole body jerks, but Homelander keeps you still, forces you to endure whatever the fuck it is he’s doing now.
“Wh-what the fuck is that?” Watching him, comprehension dawns; he’s blowing on your clit, lips pursed, forcing out a concentrated stream of warm, almost hot air that has your thighs quivering in his grasp. “Oh fuck,” you gasp, equal parts bewildered and overwhelmed. You try to close your knees, but once again, his hold is completely unrelenting, keeping them spread wide. Immediately that same ache is skyrocketing back up, spreading tightness low in your belly.
“Hold on,” you groan, gripping his hair tighter. You expect it to end before too long, for him to at least need to inhale, but beyond all logic and reason, he just keeps going. The heat of it is surreal, the weightless pressure of it constant. Your toes curl, heels digging into the bed while every muscle in your body starts to lock up.
Homelander’s gaze flickers up to meet yours, nothing pure wicked delight in his eyes. Just as suddenly, he descends upon you, tongue feeling hotter and wetter than ever as he dotes on your clit with it, focusing it with alarming precision. The abrupt change in sensation makes you thrash, stumbling over a stream of nonsense as you pull at his hair, that aching tightness now so prominent that you can hardly take in a breath.
“That’s enough, that’s–fuck, Homelander, it’s too much, it’s too much, s-stop, s–” your pleas erupt into a gasp because he’s focusing that stream of air right back on you again, the feel of it so surreal, so indescribable that your brain can hardly function around it. Your eyes roll back, you writhe, but he’s so much stronger than you’d ever really wrapped your mind around. He’s entirely unyielding in a way he’s never felt in your arms, against your body on the couch. He’s more inhuman than he’s ever been, and it’s driving you wild. 
Tears gather in your eyes. This  assault of sensation walks the knife’s edge of pain, but never quite falls over it. Your whole body is throbbing, and you feel like you’re going to fucking explode. He twists that knife by taking you again with his tongue, swirling and slick in contrast to the dry pressure of his breath.
“H-Homelander, Homelander, please, I’m–I’m–fuck!”
The world turns white, and suddenly you can’t breathe. You hear yourself make a strained noise you’ve never heard before, but it might as well not even be you. You’re somewhere outside of your own body, floating in a torrent of indescribable sensory input that is so alien to you, you don’t even feel real anymore. Homelander isn’t holding you still anymore, but you can still feel him slowly lapping at your throbbing clit, watching you through foggy eyes as he licks you through your first orgasm, no doubt tasting and smelling the endorphins that flood your body.
Every single taut muscle in your body snaps like the strings of a marionette, leaving you to collapse limply on the bed, panting through it as your soul gradually descends back down into your body. Blissfully, Homelander ceases his torment and joins you, laying sideways with his head propped up in his palm while his other hand rests on your hip, thumb rubbing soothing circles. 
“Oh my God,” you whisper eventually.
“Please, you can still call me Homelander,” he says, sounding just as smug as one would expect him to be after such an accomplishment. If you had any power whatsoever left in your lifeless arm, you’d smack him. However, he quickly makes up for it by drawing you gently into his arms, kissing your forehead. 
“I can’t believe you did that,” you say, more malleable than ever as he adjusts you both beneath the blankets. “I thought I was going to die.” It’s only a slight hyperbole.
Homelander laughs softly, beaming at you with pink cheeks and a sly, delighted little smile. “See? Nothing’s broken,” he murmurs at your ear, catching you off guard. That had been such an offhand remark, you didn’t expect to hear it come back around.
“What if I hadn’t? What if all that, and nothing happened?” You ask, adjusting slightly while he entangles his limbs with yours, bodies slotting together like jigsaw pieces. You’re both jagged in all the right ways, fitting nicely together.
He gives a small shrug, stroking his knuckles up and down your spine. “Still would’a been a hell of a ride. Not everything has to be finished to be good.”
Slowly, you smile. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
Loving Homelander isn’t always easy or good. There are times when he makes it hard, and there are times when you make it hard, but if there’s one thing you’ve learned in this lifetime, nothing worth doing is ever easy. Love may start as an incidental thing, a passion that ignites as readily as tinder, but the upkeep of it is more like pottery. It’s messy, and even once you get the shape of it right, you don’t always know how it will react to the heat necessary to give it solid form. It can be broken, it can be fixed, it can even be remade, but never is one the same as the last.
Still, even when it hurts, when it’s frustrating, when it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, the euphoria of creating something so beautiful keeps you coming back to it. When the same love that burns you can also warm you against the cold, coat your throat like honey, and fill your night sky with stars to guide your way in darkness, it becomes impossible to let go of.
To love something is to heal it. Everything that is loved is beautiful, even things that are unsightly, unfinished, unappealing. Even things that are broken.
Finally, you think you understand why Stuart never finished his original painting.
He loved it precisely as it was.
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pangur-and-grim · 1 year
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something I’ve learned from querying: everything has a million subcategories, and it is crucial to actually learn then.
like when I first started, I thought an agent listing ‘speculative fiction’ in their interests was enough to give me a shot! but now it’s like ok. but does that actually mean fantasy (as opposed to science fiction or surrealism)? and if it does, is it constrained to one of the following:
high fantasy
low fantasy
grounded fantasy 
magical realism
etc.
and if fate is smiling on me and it is high fantasy, what sort do they like? because mine starts as a medieval George R R Martin clone before morphing into a post-apocalyptic sci fi, so they have to simultaneously be alright with a) cliched shit and b) experimental weird shit.
and say everything aligns, and that genre works for them - even then, they often accept it only in one or two age categories. there’s mg, ya, na (middle grade, young adult, new adult) and adult. mine is adult, which is a huge strike against it given the genre. 
AND THEN! AND THEN! say everything else is perfect. they love high fantasy with elves and unicorns, they want it for adults, they’re cool with genre bending, but in their profile is a phrase I’ve learned to dread: “HEA (which stands for happily every after) required”. I love my little book, but it is dark and full of terrible people.
and then I also have to hope that they’re into queer romance, on top of everything else! it’s a hard process.
currently I have 45 queries sent, 15 rejections, and 30 unknowns, and I think a good portion of those rejections are because I didn’t initially understand that ‘accepts speculative fiction’ shouldn’t be taken literally.
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wufflesvetinari · 2 months
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ok fine, wyllstarion rec list
the demons bade me write this. i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings and a fabulous bookmarks list. come with me....and you'll be.......in a world of pure wyllstarion nation
note that this is like. an intermediate/advanced, 201-level list. i am trusting you, and assume you've already read asidian's body of work. you've read nothing is safe. you're reading Nothing Like the Sun &etc. Really anything that appears on the first two pages when sorting by bookmarks/kudos is disqualified due to pre-recognized excellence. (you could, however, go read them again)
are you back? good. now read:
"We Happy Few" - @geometea. listen to me. listen. i am looking deeply into your eyes. read this fucking fic. it's hard to shill without spoiling anything, BUT: wyll is a still-pacted grand duke. he used to have a bunch of unresolved romantic tension with astarion and now hasn't spoken to him for 15 years. now take that premise and add body horror, beautiful ominous surreal images, and SURPRISE BIG EMOTIONS. just trust me on this one, guys
"Crossed Blades" - @rebelontherocks. this is a...i think i have to call this a cozy sex romp. wyll and astarion are married, wyll is a busy duke, astarion needs more enrichment, astarion invents a very silly sex game by roleplaying teenage-wyll's smut books. wyll is So Deeply Into It. i love this fic for its characterization, its banter, and its commitment to paralleling character psychology to what sounds like an absolutely wild in-universe smut series (that is sketched with an impressive amount of detail and care tbh??).
"Comfort" - @acephalouscreature. short and sweet. wyll is injured and everyone expects astarion to take care of him. luckily, astarion has a dastardly plan to fake feelings for wyll by thinking about his feelings for wyll. you sure fooled them, astarion!! also featuring: astarion trying to figure out how to comfort someone by thinking about horses
"False Compare" - @jellyfishline. i'd recommend checking out their work generally, but i fell in love with this one first. wyll writes a sonnet! astarion is mean about it until he isn't! deeply in-character with an emphasis on how each of them communicates affection. gorgeous prose
"how to escape the torment nexus" - @ushauz. this series is incredibly unique, set in a fucked-up bad end where wyll is a lemure, astarion is still on the run from cazador, and almost everyone else is dead. where this really shines imo is wyll's POV: he's been through literal hell, doesn't remember his life, and is wading through his unconscious attachment to astarion like a foreign language. (side note also read Heart of Stone for a great lae'zel character piece)
"An Acorn in the Moonlight" - @anonyhex. this is one of the first wyllstarion fics i ever read and it has a special place in my heart!! it's particularly cathartic to read for Wyll reasons, including him actually getting to Have Emotions about what Ulder put him through. and they are so sweet with each other!!
"temporal displacement" - @purplecatghostposts. ok this came out like. yesterday but listen, i LOVE outsider pov of an astarion who's learned to show affection somewhat, seen from the eyes of someone who doesn't know his history and has no reason to suspect All Of That. and when that "outsider" is a dying 20-year-old wyll who just saw astarion step out of a time portal. well.
"nothing to make a song about" - themortal. for when you want something meaty and casefic-adjacent, set in a post-canon where wyll is the blade and not the duke (for once). contains bonding on the road, getting romantically snowed in together, and Symbolic Fetch-Quests.
i am also watching closely: "One of Those Prince-Types" by @lesbianralzarek and "sigh no more" by @tomorrowsrain. both are one chapter in and promise to be meaty, with execution that already feels very very promising
SPECIAL MENTION TO "Like Death (or Birth)" by The_Dancing_Walrus, which has some fraught implied background wyllstarion and is just generally completely baller. astarion kind-of sort-of accidentally adopts yenna, who got fucked up by her time as a potential sacrifice to bhaal. it works! i promise it works
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ohsalome · 1 year
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And I am once again reminding you that for centuries, Ukraine wasn't given its own voice in the world discourse. Our history, politics, culture were written by the people who colonised us and benefited from convincing the world (and us!) of a distorted picture. A good majority of information in English language that exists about Ukraine, that you believe to be the default knowledge of the world, is such distorted information. Because that is how russian propaganda work. They take a snippet of truth and blow it out of proportion and add a bouquet of lies to it and repeat it many-many times until you think that it is just basic information about the world that everyone knows.
No, Ukraine is not run by nazi. Ukraine has a non-zero percent of nazi population that is marginalized out of politics because their rhetoric is not relatable to the majority of the electorate, which leans towards socialistic populism and anarchism.
No, ukraine is not "brotherly nation" with russia. Antropoligically we belong to the same slavic family of nations that includes many other eastern europeans like czechs, polish, moldovan etc. There is no reason to select russians, belorussians and ukrainians into a distinct category that isn't political. The idea of "three brotherly nations" was literally created by a theologist Theofan Prokopovych as a part of philosophical justification to russian imperialism in the 19th century meaning of the word.
No, DNR and LNR are not "people's republics". They were created by russian army, run by the russian army and following the orders from the kremlin. Russis spent decades trying to create a dissident movement in the eastern Ukraine but failed and stepped down to brute force. Everything you see in the southern Ukraine now has happened in the east in 2014. The only difference is that y'all swallowed russian lies back then.
No, Crimea didn't have a "referendum to join russia". Russian soldiers occupied the peninsula, forced the politicians under the gunpoint to announce the referendum, and made sure that the results would be the ones they like. The native population of the peninsula, crimean tatars, that had been twice genocided by the russians in the past, boycotted the referendum. Despite making up only ~12% of the population, crimean tatar rallies were much more numerous than those of the russians in Crimea. The people who "supported" the "return of Crimea" were russian nationals, who moved to the peninsula after the ethnic cleansing of the native population and proclaimed that "it has always been theirs".
No, Ukraine doesn't have a "government-run kill list". Myrotvorets is (1) run by the volunteers, not the government, (2) is a database of pro-russian propagandists, and (3) hardly anyone on that database has been killed so far. FFS, our current first lady used to be in this database.
No, Ukraine didn't ban russian language. Ukraine has implemented laws that would help ukrainian book, music, film industry survive the competition with russian industry that has for many years monopolised our market. Ukraine has implemented the law that our politicians need to know ukrainian language if they want to hold office (this will sound surreal, but many didn't. Can you imagine such scenario in any other country? A spanish minister that doesn't speak spanish?). Ukraine has implemented a law that websites, advertisements published in foreign languages need to have the information accessible in ukrainian as well Ukraine has implemented laws that state that ukrainian citizens have a right to governmental service in Ukrainian. And if you bothered to open the law you criticise at least ONCE, you would have seen that every article has a clarification "the communication can happen in any language as long as both parties consent, but if the consumer requests to be served in ukrainian, the provider is obligated to respond to them in ukrainian".
No, Ukraine doesn't use the war as an excuse to repress the political opposition. The only people that have been "repressed" are the ones who have been colluding with ruZzia and have helped in organising the invasion of Ukraine. FFS one of those "poor oppositioners" is literally putin's godfather, and another visits russian tv channels agitating russians to nuke Kyiv. The proof against them is overwhelming and well-documented, and ukrainian civil society has been pressuring our government to stop them for literal years. Even today, many russian agents remain in governmental structures.
No, Euromaidan was not a "coup". It was a response of civil society to the police brutality and usurpation of power. We do not need white saviours to tell us that being beat up at peaceful protests is bad. We have enough agency to understand this without external help.
It's almost a year of this war. It's high time for people to stop spreading russian propaganda, especially if they claim to support Ukraine. I am yet to see a "both sides are wrong" argument that wasn't based on russian propaganda.
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70sscifiart · 11 months
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probably a long shot but do you have any idea who the artist for this book cover is? i’m not sure what the artist signature says to be honest but i thought maybe you’d recognize it or the art style? my grandpa gave me a copy of the book as a kid and the book cover always amazed me
Yeah, that's a 1970 cover by Steele Savage! Here's a list of his other covers. Interesting artist, although he didn't have much of a career beyond 1967-1971. My guess is that his style didn't have the level of detail that publishers were looking for after 1971. He has some really great surreal compositions and bold colors, though.
Here's a collection of his covers that I've posted in the past. His 1971 cover for Robert Heinlein’s Red Planet is one of my favorites.
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starogeorgina · 9 months
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All mine
Warnings: Swearing
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
1.02
You had expected Spencer to be in shock, stumble over his words, or be in denial when you told him you were expecting, but instead he focused on scribbling down a calendar on the back of a newspaper. Eventually, he looks up and asks, “Have you had a scan or blood work done yet?”
“Uh no, not yet.”
“Roughly how far along do you think you are? Sometimes the nurses and midwives calculate it from the date of conception or from your last period.”
You’re slightly taken aback by his question; you’d assumed Spencer would have worked it out in his head right away. You stare at him blankly while trying to figure out why he wasn’t freaking out.
“Spence,” he says, looking at you seemingly unaffected while awaiting your answer. It suddenly dawned on you that he might not have realized he’s the father. “This baby is yours.”
Spencer stares at you wide-eyed, in shock, before he finally snaps out of it and says, “Mine.” He freezes and sits with an unreadable expression on his face for a few moments until he’s able to talk again. “The baby is mine.”
You nod.
“We slept together nearly three months ago.”
“I know,” you say, feeling your hands begin to go calmly. He is watching you intensely, as if waiting for you to say something that will magically make the situation better. You feel the blood boil under your skin when you think about the unsub, who was unintentionally targeting the growling life inside you. In spite of the pregnancy being a total shock, you felt extremely protective already. Emotions start to swell inside you. “I’m scared,” you admit. “I’m scared of becoming a mother, of possibly losing a job I love, and of one of my closest friends, and I’m also terrified of what the unsub might do if they find out.”
“Have you told anyone else?”
“Derek knows. I don’t want to tell anyone else yet, not until I’ve had a scan and know everything is okay.”
“How many tests did you take?”
“Twelve.”
Spencer smiles at your comment, his hand finding yours. “Our situation isn’t ideal, but I promise to be there for you every step of the way, but you need to book in with your doctor first thing in the morning.”
“I will,” you nod in agreement. “Until then, we need to keep Morgan quiet and hide that anything is going on from anyone else at work.”
“That will be easy. Hotch, Emily, and Rossi aren’t the most observant people; I’m sure they won’t notice something’s up,” Spencer says, making you laugh.
Although you were terrified, having Spencer confirm he would stand by you made it a little less frightening.
You and Spencer both stare at the small screen with your mouths agape. The sonographer has just confirmed you are ten weeks pregnant with twins. Spencer had called someone who owed him a favor, and within the hour he had discharged himself from hospital care, and you were getting scanned. Throughout the scan, Spencer’s nerves showed as he listed off rare diseases that can be missed on the scan. He didn’t seem to settle until it was confirmed the babies were okay.
“Can we actually have another few copies of those?” Spencer asks.
The sonographer agrees, prints off a few more copies of your scan, and hands it to him. It felt surreal knowing you had two tiny humans growing inside; it also made you more determined to find the unsub soon as possible. You wipe the gel off your stomach and sit up while the sonographer leaves the room to fill in some paperwork, and notice the way Spencer is staring at the black and white picture in his hand.
You put your hand on his back, “hey, you okay?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “We need to tell Hotch, I know you didn’t want to but seeing this now makes it so real.”
“I know. So what’s our plan now?”
“Well since I convinced Morgan and Garcia to go home, I’m guessing one of the cops will give us a ride back to the safe house. We’ll need to swing by my place first though so I can get some clothes.”
“You’re staying with me?”
He places his hand on your stomach, “I’ve got three reasons to stay with you.”
You twist the ring on your middle finger while nervously standing in front of the rest of your team, trying to find the courage to tell them you’re pregnant. You run head-first into danger nearly every single day, but this was different. You had so much more to lose if the killer found you. That morning you told Hotch, who congratulated you, until you said who the father was, and then he thought it was some kind of trick until Spencer pulled his wallet out and revealed the baby scan picture. Hotch offered to cover for you if you didn’t want to tell anyone else, but given the circumstances and the fact you were only two weeks away from reaching the three-month mark, you decided to tell them.
You cleared your throat; it made you feel selfish for interrupting the investigation, especially when the unsub had already killed three women. You cleared your throat. “I have something to tell you all, so I’m going to just come right out and say it. I’m pregnant with twins.”
Emily is the first to congratulate you; she hugs you and says, “Quinn, I’m so happy for you. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”
“Uhh,” you pull back from her. “I’m not exactly…”
She raises her brows but says nothing; her gaze moves from you to Spencer, who places his hand on your shoulder. He smiles awkwardly at her, causing her mouth to fall open. Nobody else seemed to have caught on, but you noticed how stressed out Hotch looked. This whole situation was going to cause him a massive headache.
“And I’m the father,” Spencer blurts out.
The room falls silent until Gracia smacks Derek on the chest. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“Damn baby girl, you’ve got a mean hit, and I only found out last night. Although I didn’t know it was twins.” He shakes Spencer’s hand. “I’m made up for you, Reid.”
When everyone is finished awkwardly congratulating you and Spencer, Hotch explains how the team was to continue as normal while searching for the unsub; the only difference was that you weren’t to go out on the field. He heavily hinted at keeping what they just learned a secret because the moment Erin Strauss finds out, she’ll remove either you or Spencer, which he didn’t believe was in his team's best interest. At least not for now.
Hearing your cell phone ring, you pull it from your pocket and stare at it, confused, before muting the call.
“Do you need to get that?” Hotch asks before delivering the profile.
So far, the evidence has pointed in the direction of the unsub being a white male in his mid-thirties. He’s highly intelligent and possibly had a job within the FBI. He was fired either by his boss, who was female, or because of an incident involving a female colleague, which is why he was only targeting women.
“It’s just my landlord; I’ll call him back later.”
“It’s the fourth time he’s called,” Spencer says, “you should answer the next one.”
When it rings again Hotch nods for you to answer it. You excuse yourself from the room and listen to what your landlord has to say. Shit. It was nothing good.
You step back into the room and say, “I think the unsub broke into my home.”
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copperbadge · 2 years
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Jonathan Adler, A Tour
Somehow, in the last year or so, I ended up on the mailing list for the Jonathan Adler catalogue. It’s a high-end furniture and interior decor catalogue featuring the ugliest tat you’ve ever been asked to pay thousands of dollars for. Can I offer you a giant wicker banana in these trying times? 
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[ID: A photograph from the Jonathan Adler catalogue, featuring an enormous banana woven from wicker, with a wicker elephant head in the background. The text reads “Our slyly suggestive tribute to surrealism. Blown up proportions add just the right amount of extra appeel.” It has a price tag of $995.]
Come with me on a journey, friends.
The company really loves acrylic, which I was given to understand was not a super expensive material, but this giant acrylic hippo begs to differ.
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[ID: A large, stylize hippo made of amber acrylic, somewhat translucent; it has very dainty front feet, a huge muzzle, and a giant ass. It is $850. Nowhere is it shown with anything that might give a sense of scale to back up the “Giant” claim.]
This candelabra, made from green acrylic and chrome, I actually really like. I would pay $30, maybe even $35 for it at a vintage market.
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I would not pay the $600 they want for it.
[ID: An acrylic-and-chrome candelabra, which looks like a branched set of water pipes with silver fixtures on the ends. I bet it only takes special sized candles.]
Moving on from acrylic, would you perhaps enjoy seeing the ugliest $3,700 credenza they offer?
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[ID: A small set of cabinets on raised legs, the whole thing done in wood; each of the three cabinet doors looks like an antique television, with blue linen panels that look like switched-off TV screens. Text reads “Aspen Credenza. Faced with three organic, sculpted doors inlaid with teal linen panels on tubular legs.”]
Tell me this apartment belongs to rich lesbians without telling me this apartment belongs to rich lesbians. 
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[ID: A photograph of a living room interior, with a coffee table center; on the coffee table is an orchid plant, sitting atop an Allegra Hicks art book. Next to the book is a small bowl in the shape of a cupped hand, and behind both is an enormous acrylic sculpture of a hand with middle finger tipped forward slightly. I looked up the hand on the website, it’s about $1300.]
Lastly, I would consider buying one of these if they had an Adderall, but unfortunately the catalogue caters to upmarket downer lovers.
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[ID: A series of pillboxes in gold and silver metal; they are designed to look like enormous pills themselves, stamped with Xanax, Ambien, and Prozac brand names.]
They do actually have an Adderall pillbox on the website, but it’s $225 and also it’s in the form of a THIRTY, which I didn’t even know existed. Thirty milligrams of Adderall sounds like jet fuel, and I say that as someone who is extremely happy taking 10mg twice a day. 
There is so much more to see and boggle at in the catalogue, but I leave you with this last taste, so that if you desire you can search out more on your own:
Store your rings in a secret brass vagina.  
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brokehorrorfan · 9 months
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Inside the Mind of Coffin Joe will be released on November 28 via Arrow Video. The five-disc Blu-ray box set collects 10 films from Brazilian horror icon José Mojica Marins, better known as Coffin Joe.
It includes: 1964's At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul, 1967's This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse, 1968's The Strange World of Coffin Joe, 1970's Awakening of the Beast, 1971's The End of Man, 1972's When the Gods Fall Asleep, 1976's The Strange Hostel of Naked Pleasures, 1977's Hellish Flesh, 1978's Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind, and 2008's Embodiment of Evil.
Each disc has its own Blu-ray case with reversible artwork by Butcher Billy. They're housed together in a slipcase with a book featuring new writing by Tim Lucas, Carlos Primati, Jerome Reuter, Amy Voorhees Searles, Kyle Anderson, and Paula Sacramento, a double-sided poster, and 12 double-sided art cards.
All 10 movies have been newly stored in 4K from the best available elements with original lossless mono audio (except Embodiment of Evil, which has lossless 2.0 and 5.1 audio). Special features are listed below, where you can also see more of the packaging.
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Disc 1: At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul
Audio commentary by José Mojica Marins, filmmaker Paulo Duarte, and film scholar Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
Video essay by Lindsay Hallam (new)
Damned: The Strange World of José Mojica Marins - 2001 documentary
Bloody Kingdom - Marins’ first short film with director’s commentary
Excerpts from early works by Marins
Trailer
Disc 2: This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse / The Strange World of Coffin Joe
This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse audio commentary by José Mojica Marins, filmmaker Paulo Duarte, and film scholar Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
The Strange World of Coffin Joe audio commentary by José Mojica Marins, filmmaker Paulo Duarte, and film scholar Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
Interview with film historian Stephen Thrower (new)
Video essay by Miranda Corcoran looking Coffin Joe as horror host (new)
The Strange World of Coffin Joe alternate ending with commentary by Marins
Trailers
Disc 3: Awakening of the Beast / The End of Man
Awakening of the Beast audio commentary by José Mojica Marins, filmmaker Paulo Duarte, and film scholar Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
The End of Man audio commentary by José Mojica Marins, filmmaker Paulo Duarte, and film scholar Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
Interview with Guy Adams on Marins’ esoteric aspects (new)
Video essay by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas on the gender politics of Marins’ films (new)
The Awakening of the Beast alternate opening titles
Trailers
When the Gods Fall Asleep / The Strange Hostel of Naked Pleasures
Interview with Virginie Sélavy on surrealism in Marins’ work (new)
Interview with Jack Sargeant (new)
Interview with Embodiment of Evil co-writer Dennison Ramalho (new)
Footage of Marins at the 2001 Sundance Film Festival
A Blind Date for Coffin Joe short film
Trailer
Disc 5: Hellish Flesh / Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind
Hallucinations of a Deranged Mind commentary by José Mojica Marins, editor Nilcemar Leyart, Paulo Duarte, and Carlos Primati (Portuguese with English subtitles)
Interview with Andrew Leavold on Marins’ place in '60s & '70s Marginal Cinema (new)
Video essay by Kat Ellinger (new)
Trailers
Disc 6: Embodiment of Evil
Audio commentary by producer Paulo Sacramento and co-writer Dennison Ramalho (Portuguese with English subtitles)
Interview with Dennison Ramalho (new)
Interview in which Ramalho pays tribute to Marins
Footage of Marins at the film’s premiere
Making Of featurette
Experimental Making Of featurettes
Multiple featurettes with commentary by Marins
Trailer
Additional contents:
Collector’s book with new writing by Tim Lucas, Carlos Primati, Jerome Reuter, Amy Voorhees Searles, Kyle Anderson, and Paula Sacramento
Double-sided poster with artwork by Butcher Billy
12 double-sided art cards
Cultural icon, anti-establishment statement, sadistic lord of carnival horror! With his long fingernails, top hat and cape, Coffin Joe was the creation of Brazilian filmmaker José Mojica Marins, who wrote, directed and starred in a series of outrageous movies from 1964 to 2008.
Pre-order Inside the Mind of Coffin Joe.
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