Take Me Higher (Older!Single Dad!Argyle x Babysitter!Reader)
Collaboration with @hxllfired and @corroded-hellfire 💚
Summary: Argyle hired you to babysit his son, but what happens when you and Argyle share a joint after work hours? Is your attraction to the sexy stoner reciprocated?
Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), oral (m! and f! receiving), fingering, protected p in v, drug use (weed only), slight age gap (5-7 years; Argyle and Reader are both over 18)
WC: 4k
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“Alej, time to get ready for bed!” you call out, washing up the last of the dinner dishes. The little boy looks over at you from the sofa, dark brown eyes wide and lower lip jutting out in a pout.
“Five more minutes?” he asks. “I wanna read one more book!”
You shake your head and give a small laugh. “That’s what you said ten minutes ago,” you remind him. It would be too easy to give in and let him read until he falls asleep, but you know his dad would not appreciate it. “C’mon, you can show me those new Thomas the Train pajamas you were telling me about!”
Alej’s demeanor shifts to pure excitement, and he bolts into his room to change. He’s a great kid; incredibly smart and thoughtful for a six-year-old. It’s part of the reason why you love babysitting him.
It also doesn’t hurt that his dad is absolutely gorgeous, with long, raven-black hair, the sweetest smile, and the kindest heart. Insisting you call him Argyle, treating you like part of the family, always paying you for an extra full hour, even if he only ran ten minutes late. He smells faintly of weed and a musky cologne, and damn, do you want him bad.
You get Alej to bed and settle in on the couch and put on the TV, just in time to catch the newest episode of Friends.
The door opens slowly, and your heart thumps as Argyle walks in. He’s got some flour smudged on his cheeks and forearms, and he looks exhausted.
“Hi,” you greet him, managing a nervous smile. “Tough day at the office?”
He nods. “Three of my cooks called out, so I had to step in and help make pizzas. Haven’t done that shit in years.”
“Nice of you to do that, though. Must be why all your employees love you.” Wait a second—are you technically an employee? You do work for him, just not at Surfer Boy. You feel your cheeks grow warm at the implication.
Argyle just chuckles, reaching into his wallet and pulling out a ten dollar bill. “Shit, I thought I had a twenty in here.” He frowns and rummages through his pockets, only pulling out some loose change and a neatly-wrapped joint.
“Sorry, that’s, uh, for later,” he mutters. “Takes the edge off a little, y’know?”
“You can smoke it now,” you shrug. “Alej’s sleeping, so…”
He fidgets with the joint, contemplating. “This might not be, like, professional or whatever, but d’you wanna join me?”
“Y-Yeah,” you stammer. It certainly won’t be your first time smoking weed, but you’ve never gotten high with him before. What if I say something stupid, or I can’t stop giggling like an idiot? you worry, but you follow him out to the small balcony outside the apartment.
Flicking on the lighter, Argyle takes a big hit, visibly relaxing on the exhale. He passes to you, and you say a silent prayer that you don’t choke in front of him.
“Classes are out for the semester?” he asks.
“Mhm,” you answer before taking a second hit and handing the joint back to him. “Then I’ve just got one semester left.”
“That’s fuckin’ awesome!” His smile sets you alight. “You wanna be a teacher, right?”
“That’s the plan.” And maybe it’s the two hits already going to your head, but you find yourself plucking the joint from between his lips and placing it between your own, grinning smugly at his shocked expression.
“Wow,” Argyle says, feigning annoyance. “Here I am, sharing my favorite strain with you, and this is the kind of treatment I receive?” His joke makes you giggle, and you start coughing on the smoke. “That’s what you get,” he teases, stealing it right back and taking another hit.
“Alej can’t stop talkin’ about you, by the way,” he confesses. “Says you’re the best babysitter ever.”
You beam proudly at the praise. “He’s honestly such a great kid. The most trouble he ever gives me is when he wants to stay up late to read.” You laugh. “I mean, what first-grader does that?”
Argyle shakes his head. “I dunno, man.” He looks so beautiful in the moonlight; you just want to kiss him. “I try to read to him all the time. Didn’t really have that growin’ up, and school wasn’t my thing. Teachers just kinda wrote me off as some dumb kid; didn’t even bother to pronounce my name right. That’s how I ended up with this nickname.” He laughs at your confused expression. “Don’t tell me you thought that ‘Argyle’ is my real name!”
“Well, you never told me otherwise!” you point out. “What is it, then?”
“Alejandro; just like Alej’s,” he says softly. “Had this teacher in fifth grade—Mrs. Young, which was funny, ‘cause she was really fuckin’ old—and she took one look at my name on the roster and pronounced it ‘Argyle.’ Next thing I knew, everyone was calling me that.”
You look at him, right in his deep brown eyes. “Do you want me to call you ‘Alejandro’?”
“Nah, man. ‘Argyle’ kinda fits me at this point. I just never want Alej to experience that. I always tell him to correct people if they say his name wrong.” He takes a long hit before admitting, “His mom wanted to give him an American name so he could ‘fit in,’ or whatever. Should’ve known she wasn’t for me right then and there. I mean, who wants to just, like, keep shit status quo?”
“Sounds boring,” you agree, voice barely above a whisper. “And you’re really…unique.” You blush as you say it. “I mean that in a good way, I promise.”
“Y’really think so?” he questions, repositioning himself slightly so he’s looking directly at you. “I feel like, ever since I had Alej–and I fuckin’ love that kid, don’t get me wrong–but I’m not as fun or interesting as I used to be.” He looks at the joint in his hand. “Like, I would smoke two of these and then party my ass off. Now I take a coupla hits and go to bed. Make sure I’m not too high in case Alej needs me.”
Your heart sinks at his admission. “Argyle, that’s not boring. That’s being a great dad. It’s why Alej’s so wonderful–because you’re raising him.” You scoot closer, letting your fingers rest on top of his.
“Did I ever tell you how I got this scar?” he blurts out, motioning to the discoloration above his eyebrow. You shake your head, and he presses on. “My friend Jonathan and I were super high, and we got a hold of some BB guns. They weren’t mine, they weren’t his, but somehow, we had ‘em in our hands.” He gives a small laugh. “And I shot mine off, which scared him, and then he pulled his trigger, and it hit me…right there.”
“You could’ve gone blind!” you gasp, leaning in to get a better look. Instinctively, you run your thumb over the scar, and you feel him shiver at your touch.
“Yeah…we never let him near a weapon again. Not even a water gun.”
“Don’t blame you,” you muse, “you’ve got really nice eyes.” Shit, did you just say that?
But Argyle’s too focused on your lips to notice your embarrassment. “You’ve got really nice…everything.” He brings his face to yours, cupping your cheek with his strong hand and kissing you gently. You feel the electricity flowing between you before he pulls away suddenly.
“Sorry…I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbles. “You’re my kid’s babysitter. Wouldn’t be right.”
“No, no, I…I really liked that,” you say reassuringly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile, actually.” Maybe even do more than that, you think to yourself. You beam at him, willing him to kiss you again.
A small voice stops both of you in your tracks. “Daddy? You’re home!”
“Alej, what are you doing up? You’re supposed to be in bed!” Argyle rubs his face in annoyance. “C’mon, go back to your room, little dude.”
“But I’m thirsty,” Alej whines.
“I’ll grab him some water,” you say, putting your hand on Argyle’s arm. You only rest it there for a second before you realize what you’re doing. You watch Argyle try to inconspicuously adjust himself in his pants as you head inside.
You hand Alej the glass of water, and he accepts it gratefully, gulping down half of it. “Go say good night to your dad and head back to bed, big guy,” you say kindly. He looks up at you, offering a gap-toothed smile before he dashes off to hug Argyle, water nearly sloshing over the top of the glass.
“Thanks, buddy,” Argyle murmurs, squeezing his son tight and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Get some rest, okay?” Alej nods, running back toward you.
“Careful with the–” you start, but it’s too late. Alej stumbles over his feet, catching his balance before he falls, but not before spilling the water all over your white shirt.
“Sh–sugar!” you cry out, and the boy bursts into tears. “It’s okay, Alej,” you crouch down, pulling the wet fabric away from your skin. “This is just why we have to be safe and walk in the house, especially when we’re holding things.” You wipe the tears from his cheeks.
Argyle runs over to you. “Let me put him back to bed, and I’ll grab you a shirt to change into.” You start to protest, about to tell him that you can just head home, but he’s already scooped his son into his arms. He’s left the joint in the ashtray, but it’s still lit, and you take another quick puff. The high really hits you, leaving you slightly dizzy and more than a little giggly.
You’re daydreaming when Argyle comes back into the kitchen, clutching a Grateful Dead t-shirt. “This’ll do the trick,” he says, tossing it to you. “You can just throw yours in the dryer; y’shouldn’t drive while you’re this high, anyway, so you might as well stick around.”
Without thinking, you pull your damp shirt over your head, giving him a glimpse of your white lace bra. You shimmy into his shirt, glancing down as you smooth the logo over your torso. “How do I look?” you ask, giving a little twirl.
“Really, really good,” he breathes, stepping towards you and gripping your waist. “Did…did you mean what you said about wanting to kiss me?”
You nod, placing your palm flush against his chest. “Is Alej asleep?” you whisper, using your free hand to play with his hair.
“Out like a light,” he confirms, a smirk growing on his face. With that, you kiss him, much harder than the first time. You let out a small moan as his tongue grazes yours, and he hooks a finger around your belt loop as he pulls you even closer. He tastes like pineapple and the pot you’ve shared. You give his plush bottom lip a small bite as you part.
“Fuck, baby,” he groans. “You’re not the only one who’s thought about this, and it’s even better than I’d imagined.”
“And what exactly did you imagine?” you ask salaciously, brushing his hair off of his neck and standing on your tiptoes to suck a bruise into it.
“Wanna make you feel good…want you to make me feel good,” he tells you before kissing you again, lifting you so you can wrap your legs around his waist. He positions his hands under your ass and grabs it harshly.
“Your room,” you choke out, and he all but sprints there, sitting on the bed so you’re straddling his lap. You can feel his hardened length underneath you, and you grind down on it, desperate for the friction against your clothed pussy.
Argyle brings his lips to your ear, nibbling on the lobe as he whispers, “We have to be quiet, okay?” You nod, tugging his shirt over his head, and he does the same with yours—well, technically, it’s also his.
You whimper as he trails his lips between your breasts, skillfully unhooking your bra with one hand. He brings his lips to your nipples, sucking on them as they harden in his mouth.
“Your body is so fuckin’ perfect,” he says breathlessly, unbuttoning your jeans and helping you out of them. “Always felt kinda bad thinkin’ about this.”
“Don’t,” you tell him, repositioning yourself so one thigh is on either side of his hips. “I thought about it, too.” You unbuckle his belt and he shucks off his pants, using his feet to pull them down his ankles until they hit the floor. “So…many…times.” With that, you bring yourself to your knees and practically tear off his boxers, watching as his thick cock thwacks against his stomach.
You flatten your tongue, licking up his shaft, swirling around the tip and lapping up a pearly bead of pre-cum. He groans as you dig your nails into his thighs, leaving half-moons in your wake.
“Need more?” you tease, gasping as he threads his fingers through your hair and brings you closer to his length. You wrap your lips around it and take him in. Argyle helps you find a rhythm, gently moving your head without being forceful.
“That’s s-so good,” he stutters, inhaling sharply as you quicken your pace. You have every intention of letting him finish, hollowing your cheeks as you suck harder, but he pulls out of your mouth with a pop.
“You can…I don’t mind,” you start, but he shakes his head.
“Not before I get you off,” he growls, helping you off the ground and onto the bed. You lay back as he reaches over to his nightstand and grabs a hair tie, pulling his hair into a low ponytail. “Let me take care of you, baby.” He parts your thighs and licks a stripe along your folds, pressing his tongue against your wet cunt.
“Argyle, r-right there,” you moan as he begins his assault on your clit, humming and sending vibrations that you felt . He makes no attempt to silence the filthy wet noises emitting as he ravishes your pussy.
The noises you make even surprise you, small squeaks and whines egging him on. You had fantasies about this, imagining Argyle, yes, but finding someone who can make you turn into mush before you’ve even cum. “Holy shit,” your breath hitches again when he teases a finger around your opening, that small sensation emphasizing and intensifying what he is doing to you.
“Just like that,” you breathe out, “fuck.”
Your hands begin to reach around desperately for something to grab, first the sheets, then a pillow. It wasn’t enough. It was like you were floating away and needed something to keep you here. Argyle is quick to react, his eyes hungry on you the whole time. He takes your hand into his tightly as the other slowly pushes a finger into you, then twists upwards toward that oh so special spot, and you are quick to realize that you never made yourself feel this good. You swear you hear him grinning against you when you react with an involuntary shake of your legs.
He can admit everything for him has been pretty vanilla until this, and you have never been one to sleep with an employer, per say. But the way his second finger slips in and gives that incredible pressure building along with that persistent tongue on your clit is enough to make you moan, a little louder than intended, and then there’s a sharp pain on your thigh.
“Did you just slap me?” You ask breathlessly once you brace yourself on your elbows to see him, a fucked out smirk on your flushed face.
“Yes. Be - a good - girl.” He spoke through gritted teeth, and a smile peeked through matching yours. “My kiddo is in the next room. So be quiet so I can make you fucking cum.”
You nod quickly, only to throw your head back when he wastes no more time, continuing his agonizing quick movements — you feel yourself tightening up, and you look at him again, pouting as your orgasm approaches, and he knows. He can feel it.
“That’s it, baby.” He praises, and it forces another desperate mewl from you. “Please-“ you whimper, squeezing his hand harder as you feel yourself teetering over the edge.
“That’s it, that’s it, that’s it,” he chants against you as you fall onto your back again. He lets go of your hand to steady you as your thighs begin shaking. You’re practically seeing stars as you cum, trying to keep your voice down as you muffle his name like a prayer into your own hands.
“Such a good girl,” Argyle muses as he clambors back onto the bed. His finger is still gently thrusting into you still, and you’re so wet you can hear it. “Can you give me one more? One more on my cock, beautiful? Please?” His head cocked to the side coyly as he watched your aftershocks linger with his agonizing movements. He was seemingly mocking you, and you loved it.
“Mhm,” your sweet, whiny voice breaks as you hold eye contact. This was a game two could play. You’re still coming down from your orgasm, and he’s still teasing you with that fucking finger, your pussy greedily sucking him in. He leans in, his eyes studying your face sincerely. The change in his expression adamant he was checking in, and you nod. “I’ll do anything you want, just stop teasing me and fuck me already.”
“You and your fuckin’ dirty talk ‘s gonna kill me,” he couldn’t help but to grin like a sex crazed teenager, but it was endearing. He pulls his hand away from you and brings it to his lips, as if it would be the last taste of you he had.
He kisses you again, and you lean up into him with a whole other level of desperation, mumbling against his lips about a condom. Argyle tries not to break your kiss, but as he fumbles around blindly for the foil packet in his nightstand he’s forced to pull away. “Yeah,” he‘s breathless, and you watch him bring the wrapper to his teeth and rip it open effortlessly.
Argyle does not hesitate one bit as he places the rubber over his mushroom tip, and you’re nearly drooling at the thought of it stretching you, filling you up entirely. But his hands distract you, notably shaking. You don’t know whether or not he’s nervous, or eager to do this with you.
“Argyle,” your voice is back to a soft normalcy, and he looks at you. Is he nervous? With you?
Taking initiative, your dainty hands help him roll the condom down his cock, and he watches as you take your bottom lip between your teeth. “There,” you say as you lean into him again, lips brushing but not quite a kiss yet.
Argyle's hands hold your waist, taking note of how your curves are a perfect fit for his hands. “Thank you.” He trails kisses along your collarbone. “One kid is enough for now.”
“Yeah, no babies,” you confirm, licking your lips and tilting your head back.
“Mhm,”
The small talk seems to loosen him up a bit more. He’s trying to maneuver you onto your back but you are persistent to take control for now. “I want to ride you, can I please ride you?” you ask him, and Argyle swears that pout of yours would surely be the end of him.
He takes your face in his hands, and your hands press onto his chest to push his back against the wall. You can still taste your slick on his mouth as you lean down to kiss him, and Argyle's fingers are digging into the flesh on your back.
“Yeah?” He breathes. “Does the sweet, innocent babysitter want her payment now?” His words encourage you as you straddle him, making sure he can see your eager nod. He’s watching you as you’re desperately trying to line him up with your entrance — you don’t think you can last another second without him inside you.
“Take your payment baby, take it and then some. You’re such a good babysitter.”
The room becomes significantly quieter once you slowly push down onto him, your synchronized heavy breathing suddenly halts as you both take in the pleasure emitting from your connected bodies. “Fuck,” he groans first, his voice trailing as he breaks the silence. You’re feeling too much to even speak, your head thrown back and your arms wrapped lazily around his shoulders. You don’t move for a few moments, adjusting to his girth.
“Stay with me baby girl,” his hands move to your face, bringing you to look at him as he pushes your hair back. “Gorgeous, you’d better start moving or I’ll-“
He’s cut off, jaw dropping when you slowly lift yourself up, and you’re quick to find a steady pace. Argyle's hands move to your hips quickly, firmly holding them as you both maneuver your bodies for the perfect angle. It doesn’t take you long, once he’s there you cannot hold back the erotic moan to apprise Argyle to stay right there.
“Oh, princess,” he goads you, “that feels good, yeah?” When you don’t answer, too blissed out and drunk on his cock, he brings his voice back to its usual register. “Really, is this okay?” It’s oddly sexy; hearing his genuine concern for your pleasure turns you on even more.
You rock your hips, rubbing your clit against the thatch of curly brown hair at his base as you take him in deeper. “M-more than okay. ‘S too fucking amazing, holy shit.”
Argyle’s big hands knead the fat of your ass, giving you leverage to ride him. You bring yourself up so he’s almost fully out of you before bouncing back down, watching his eyes roll back as you repeat the movement over and over.
“I’m not gonna last if you keep doin’ that,” he groans. You can feel his dick twitching inside you.
“Maybe that’s what I want.” You keep your tone salacious as you taunt him. “Maybe I want to make you cum harder than you’ve ever cum in your life.”
He bites his lower lip as he thrusts into you, hitting every inch of your velvety walls. “Fuck, baby, ‘m cumming for you,” he pants. “Want—need—you to cum with me. B-Be a good girl and cum all over my cock.”
Your orgasm washes over you as a string of swears leaves your lips. “Fuck—Argyle, I’m cumming. I’m fucking cumming all over you, all ‘cuz of you. Filled me up so damn good.” Your fingernails leave marks along his chest as you claw at it.
With a low grunt and a final piston of his hips, Argyle spills into the condom. “Goddamn,” he whispers, slowly pulling out of you. “Best I ever had, I fuckin’ swear.”
You preen at his praise. “I’ve never cum like that before,” you tell him shyly. I just fucked my boss. Suddenly all-too aware of your own nudity, you scramble for your shirt.
And that’s when you realize.
“Argyle!” you hiss.
“Everything okay, baby?” he calls from the bathroom. Baby. He’s still calling you baby.
“I, um, forgot to put my shirt in the dryer,” you murmur, embarrassed by your mistake. “I can just bring it home with me; hang it up to dry or something.” You chew on the inside of your cheek. “Unless you have another half hour to kill?”
Argyle exhales, grinning widely. “Give me two minutes, yeah?” But you can already see him beginning to grow harder. “Good babysitters like you deserve a tip.”
--
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Essential Avengers: Atlantis Attacks Part 2
1989
Geez, Set, why does mom let you have seven brides?
Anyway.
Last time in half-ish of Atlantis Attacks, the annual event: I covered the Silver Surfer, Iron Man, X-Men, Amazing Spider-Man, Punisher, Spectacular Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Avengers annuals.
Silver Surfer accidentally resurrected the Deviant Priestlord Ghaur out in space. Ghaur returns to Earth and allies with Lemurian Llyra to reconstruct the Serpent Crown and summon Elder God Set.
As part of this plan, Ghaur makes an alliance with Attuma-controlled Atlantis and gets him to agree to attack the surface world to keep the heroes and military from interfering with the greater plan. An Atlantean force trying to sneak through the Panama Canal unfortunately runs into Iron Man and Namor who are dealing with Hydra narcotics schemes. Namor is on the Hydra ship when it blows up.
Ghaur hires the Serpent Society to retrieve several mystical artifacts in order to rebuild the Serpent Crown. Despite some body-switching shenanigans caused by the owner of one of those artifacts and the involvement of the X-Men, the Serpents technically succeed and construction of the crown begins.
Also as part of the plan, Ghaur frees Tyrannus from Abomination. Tyrannus goes on to free Viper from jail so they can collaborate on a scheme to use a drug addiction cure to turn people into snake people. The Abomination body goes on a rampage and is fought by Spider-Man and She-Hulk. She-Hulk gets knocked out in the fight and Ghaur marks her as one of the Brides of Set (collect all 7).
Punisher and Moon Knight wind up investigating the Save Our Society organization that's the front for the drug addiction cure that turns people into sneople. The heroes team up and shut down Viper's operation.
Spider-Man investigates another Save Our Society facility and discovers them turning people into sneople. But he gets brainwashed by Tyrannus' CHARISMA EYES. Dagger gets kidnapped and marked as another Bride of Set and Cloak gets forced to steal a mystic tome for Tyrannus. Tyrannus orders the sneople to kill Cloak but he's saved by a mysterious armored figure.
A wandering Daredevil is recruited by Dr Strange to shut down the main Save Our Society compound, out in the countryside. Tyrannus attempts to backstab Ghaur by summoning Set first but summons a different snake demon and gets eaten. Dr Strange cures all the sneople, turning them back into people. A brainwashed Spider-Man was in this and barked like a dog.
Attuma finally gets around to the titular Atlantis Attacks and sends four Atlantean armies to attack four locations in the US. The Avengers must everyone they can, split into four teams, and defeat all four of the armies. During the fighting, Ghaur marks Scarlet Witch as the third Bride of Set. Attuma has yet more forces available, though, and readies them to attack New York City.
Also, the Giant-Sized Serpent Crown has been created by Ghaur and Llyra, which will enable Set to manifest his essence on Earth.
A lot has happened but the seven-headed snake god isn't summoned yet and there's still the New Mutants, X-Factor, Web of Spider-Man, West Coast Avengers, Thor, and Fantastic Four annuals still to cover.
Will Atlantis Attack some more? Why wasn't this event given a name more representative of the story? Is anyone going to wear that Giant-Sized Serpent Crown?
Let's find out.
Here be MONSTERS!
So the New Mutants. They've lost some peeps since the last annual. And they're being watched by X-Factor now instead of Magneto.
Apparently they had an adventure recently where they found the Horn of Doom and squabbled with Namor about it.
And the Horn of Doom is what concerns this annual.
Lord Ghaur is a fervent New Mutants reader so he saw that adventure. He wants that horn and all he has to do is wait until Namor stops guarding it.
Which is accomplished when Namor is apparently blown up by Hyrda!
So Lord Ghaur sends Deviants Coal, String, and Spike to steal the Horn from Namorita, Namor's cousin.
Despite the help from New Atlantean Mutants Sharkskin, Undertow, and Eel, the Deviants get away with it. And because Lord Ghaur chose his trio of stooges for their superficial similarity to Sunspot, Warlock, and Wolfsane, Namorita and co go pick a fight with the New Mutants leaving Ghaur free to toot as he pleases.
Lord Ghaur isn't just a rare horn fancier, though.
Remember how Tyrannus said a sacrifice was needed to summon Set? Well, Lord Ghaur has decided to sacrifice Atlantis.
The real reason he made an alliance with Attuma and got him to send all his armies to attack the surface was so nobody would be left to defend Atlantis when he summoned a giant sea monstrosity that smashes the place up, kills a lot of the people, and poisons the waters around the city.
I suspect Ghaur also summoned the monster that ate one-quarter of the Atlantean army in the Avengers Annual.
Anyway, the New Mutants and Namorita's group Surf, manage to bury the monster in an undersea trench and the Horn of Doom gets broken in the chaos, but Lord Ghaur has the sacrifices he needed.
Huh. This event is more accurately called Atlantis Attacked, amirite?
X leads to X so the next annual is X-Factor.
I MUST GO DOWN TO THE SEA AGAIN...
The bunny on Attuma's head is really mad.
Do you think he learned that Atlantis got smashed while he was gone?
I wonder why he's blaming Jean.
The short answer is no. He doesn't seem to know yet and/or it hasn't happened yet. This part of Atlantis Attacks is focused on a different part of Ghaur's plan.
His plan to get his boy Set lots of brides.
The story starts with Marvel Girl Jean Grey in a trance and being yoinked through the air with a tractor beam.
Ghaur just has the technology to do that. That would have been useful to employ at several other points of this story but let's just ignore that.
Beast is clinging to her as she's yoinked and he manages to get her to disrupt the beam so both tumble into the ocean.
Attuma is in the area, attacking a water purification plant as part of his attack on the surface world and recognizes Jean as the hot girl who wouldn't give him the time in some other story. So he brings her back to his grotto and instructs his dudes to kill Beast.
Beast is saved by his former fellow Defender and Attuma's daughter Andromeda and they team up to go save Jean. Who they find being drowned by Attuma because she once again told him to fuck right off.
Beast takes Jean to the shore but she's still very drowned. Lord Ghaur projects his head to the area and tells Beast he's the dude that tried to tractor her earlier but also Jean's best shot at not dying.
Reluctantly, Beast stands by while Jean is zoomed away.
Andromeda stayed behind to challenge Attuma for leadership but got her ass kicked.
Lord Ghaur also takes her over Attuma's objections. Probably out of spite for Attuma trying to take Jean.
So Bride of Set count up to... She-Hulk, Dagger, Scarlet Witch, Marvel Girl, and Andromeda with Storm suggested as a possible target?
We've got five so far. I wonder how far from a full set of Brides of Set we are.
That's mostly what happens, overarching plot wise. Ghaur collects two brides, the Atlantis attacking continues, and Attuma hasn't heard about Atlantis Attacked yet.
And between the New Mutants Annual and this, the Deviants being Up To Something is becoming known to some of the heroes.
Next up is... WHY DO YOU NEED SO MANY BOOKS, SPIDER-MAN? FFS!
WARZONE: NEW YORK
"At last! It finally happens!"
Is that poking fun at how little Atlantis Attacking there was in this Atlantis Attacks event?
Bit late now that the Avengers Annual made a big deal about the Atlantis Attacking.
Ah well.
The Fantastic Five of Mr Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Ms Marvel the Sharon Ventura version, Human Torch, and non-powered Ben Grimm with no Thing exo-skeleton join forces with Spider-Man to fight off the Atlantis Attacks when Atlantis Attacks New York City.
Where did Atlantis get another whole army?
Attuma probably scraped together whoever they had. All those guys we saw swimming towards Avengers Island at the end of Avengers Annual were probably actually grouping to attack New York.
Some US soldiers comment that the Atlantis Attacks is pretty underwhelming (ha) because the military forces on the scene outnumber the Atlantean forces. Even no-powers Ben Grimm can contribute by just punching dudes.
Atlantis blew its load on the attacks in the Avengers Annual.
Then Attuma pulls out his trump card.
A VERY BIG SEA MONSTER.
Since this is a Spider-Man annual, the Fantastic Five get knocked out by the monster in various ways so Spider-Man can be the hero who figures out how to knock-out the Atlantean controlling the monster and then lure the monster out to sea.
While Invisible Woman is trying to rouse an unconscious Reed, Lord Ghaur shows up and abducts Sue to be one of the Brides of Set.
WE GOT SIX BRIDES!
Lord Ghaur also has his Lemurian allies blow Atlantis the fuck up.
I thought it was already destroyed by the big monster. The city trashed, the waters poisoned, and the people dead or scattered.
Did people come back just to get blown the fuck up?
This is the first time the event majorly steps on its own toes.
I thought it was clever how the villain plan had several different aspects so that different annuals could each progress the story in a different way without contradicting each other.
It doesn't help that blowing up Atlantis is an afterthought in an issue that is otherwise about Spider-Man (and the Fantastic Five) fighting an Atlantis Attacks of New York.
The New Mutants Annual focused on being just about Lord Ghaur's plan to destroy Atlantis using the Horn of Doom, hiding Deviant involvement and distracting its defenders by sending them after the New Mutants instead.
If he hadn't intervened in the battle to try to stop the New Mutants and Surf from stopping the monster, nobody would have known he was involved.
Here, a Lemurian ship blatantly blows up Atlantis.
Anyway, after Spider-Man leads away the monster, Attuma tries to rally his troops but then news breaks that Lemuria underwater nuked Atlantis.
The army is so demoralized that they flee back into the ocean and Attuma is so broken by how he was played by Ghaur that he doesn't resist as the heroes capture him.
So this issue: continues the Atlantis Attacks, secures another Bride of Set, gives Spider-Man yet more time in the spotlight that he apparently needed, blows up Atlantis again.
It also had a fun conceit where the narration was journalist Trish Fox covering the events and constantly yelling at her coworker Todd Tremaine for being the worst human being alive, I guess.
Time for more Avengers!
"Gather Now Ye 7 Brides!"
So seven brides total. Lord Ghaur got pretty much everyone but Storm by the last annual and he gets Storm between issues somehow in time for this.
He probably just yoinked her through the air like he did for Jean. Kinda makes him look like a fool chump for visiting in person all the other times.
Lord Ghaur discovers Dagger is blind, to his irritation. He specifically needs her powers so he can't just replace her.
He's also pissed because the plot has abruptly shifted. It turns out that the real sacrifice wasn't sending a monster to destroy Atlantis or nuking it. It would have been if the humans slaughtered the Atlanteans during their Attack.
If that's the case why did you blow up Atlantis at all? Why is it a sacrifice if you're not even the one who did the killing?
This is stupid.
This feels like destroying Atlantis twice. The event stepping on its own toes.
With the end approaching, all the plot threads that each annual was able to pursue independently has to come together and that's where clashes between what the various authors think the story is come into play.
But Lord Ghaur has a backup plan to summon Set even if destroying Atlantis twice over didn't count for some reason.
Over at the Avengers West Coast Compound, the Avengers are meeting here instead of at Avengers Island for some reason.
I'm telling you guys, enjoy the island while it lasts!
The meeting only has Captain America, Thor, the Vision, the Wasp, Wonder Man, Iron Man, Beast, Quasar, and special guest Sersi.
The rest of the Avengers are dealing with the Serpent Cult and giving any Atlantean Attacks stragglers a boot towards the ocean.
Vision reports that Scarlet Witch has been missing for eight hours and its a trend of superheroines being abducted. Thanks to Beast, they have a name and face to put to the abductions: Ghaur of the Deviants.
While Vision goes over the situation, Wonder Man glares at him and thinks about what an emotionless prick Vision is, not even sounding like he cares that his wife is missing.
Asshole! You're the one who refuses to help fix his emotions!
Anyway.
Since the Deviants are involved, Captain America asked Sersi to sit in on their meeting. Eternals are the best at punching Deviants.
The Thing show up. Although given what was said in the Web of Spider-Man Annual, this is Ben Grimm in a the Thing exo-skeleton.
Somehow, between annuals, Reed Richards learned that the Atlanteans were double crossed by the Lemurians and that the Atlantean army was supposed to be killed in the fighting against the surface dwellers, which would be a blood sacrifice that would summon Set.
So now that didn't happen, Reed is worried that the various missing superladies are a backup sacrifice.
As the god guy here, Thor exposits a little about Set. How he's an elder god even older than the Asgardians. How he's a real dick who is always causing problems or evolving snake people or making Serpent Crowns.
Thor even mentions that everything the heroes have done during this event will be moot unless Set is banished to the nether realms. And he suggests that he do that.
Alas, we're losing Thor for the rest of this issue. But only because he has to go punch Set in the face in his own annual.
Meanwhile, elsewhere, the Brides of Set have been sent on a scavenger hunt.
(Something that is pretty horrifying is that the Brides aren't brainwashed. They're aware of what they're doing, they hate what they're doing, and yet they are compelled to follow Ghaur's will.)
She-Hulk and Andromeda have been sent to the Altar of Neptune's Wrath. An ancient place of worship to Neptune until Atlanteans started worshipping Set instead and Neptune got mad and smote the place.
After Neptune got big mad, he left a big mad sea-beast to guard a fragment of Set's life force that was left behind.
She-Hulk finds the life force and starts to pry it from the altar but aggros the sea-beast.
Meanwhile, Jean Grey visits the Museum of Cultural Antiquities in Chicago and finagles her way into a tour of the vaults.
I think Ghaur gave her some Lemurian treasure to pass along to the museum as a donation so she would look like a big donor. Then she asks to make sure the security is up to snuff.
But after the curator opens up the vault, the Invisible Woman bonks him in the back of the head with an invisible sphere.
The two grab the lens of power from the vault and invisible take off past the guards.
Elsewhere meanwhile, She-Hulk fights the sea-beast and is spotted by a fishing boat. It makes an SOS and hearing about a green woman fighting a giant octopus is enough to get the Avengers assembled.
Iron Man flies from the Quinjet to blast at the sea-beast fruitlessly.
He also muses about how rough it is that he has to pretend not to be Tony Stark to the Avengers.
While still not really explaining why.
Iron Man electrocutes the sea-beast, which causes it to flail the tentacle grasping She-Hulk above the water. Iron Man activates underwater mode and goes underwater to offer to help She-Hulk and she punches him in the face.
Wonder Man flies out and punches the sea-beast, to not much effect.
Beast asks Sersi to use her transmutation powers to just end this fight but she says she can't. Trying to change something that big would be so much of a strain that it'd kill her.
Hello another thing that keeps Sersi's powers from just being the win button.
The problem with abilities that are so powerful that they either work or don't is that there's no middle ground so the character might just sit on their ass, not helping.
SERSI.
Anyway.
When one win button doesn't work, maybe another will.
Vision intangibles inside the sea-beast and lodges semi-tangible in its heart. Which knocks the monster the hell out.
Hopefully it doesn't... uh, drown? If sea-beasts that seem to be octopus-esque can drown?
The Avengers regroup and Iron Man pulls an unconscious She-Hulk from the water, who he stunned when she kept trying to rip his armor open.
Back at Lord Ghaur's base, Andromeda returns with the magical ball that is a piece of Set's lifeforce.
When they were beset by sea-beast, Andromeda took the ball and ditched She-Hulk to keep the guardian busy.
Lord Ghaur sees the logic in it but comments that he's down a bride now and the plan once again seems to be unraveling.
It had so many moving parts and so many of those moving parts were thwarted by superheroes who had no idea of the bigger picture.
The sneople production was cut off by Moon Knight, Punisher, Daredevil and Dr Strange.
The Avengers, Fantastic Four, and Spider-Man thwarted the Atlantis Attacks part of the story and then didn't brutally slaughter all the Atlanteans like was apparently necessary.
Monstering Atlantis was somewhat thwarted by the New Mutants and then blowing it up apparently had nothing to do with anything.
At least the plan to reconstruct the Serpent Crown and collect Brides has gone mostly right.
But if there's only six wives then there's only six wives. Set will have to deal.
Meanwhile, She-Hulk is still under compulsion to return to Lord Ghaur and she is very hard to keep contained.
Sersi comes up with the idea of just let her go. And then follow her to Lord Ghaur's lair and rescue all the kidnapped ladies.
And since Sersi says she can keep a telepathic lock on She-Hulk that Ghaur won't be able to block, Captain America okays the plan.
Meanwhile, back at Lord Ghaur's lair, he's slapping Dagger.
He's kind of a dick like that.
He needs her to focus her light daggers into the thinnest possible beam and she's finding it very difficult without being able to see what she's doing.
Jean Grey and Invisible Woman return with the Lens of Power and Ghaur reveals what this backup plan is.
To focus Dagger's life energy light daggers through the lens to invigorate the piece of Set's life force.
That will allow Set to manifest despite the sacrifice apparently not happening. Supposedly apparently.
As a back-up plan, this seems easier actually than hoping that humans will kill a bunch of Atlanteans for you. Why wasn't this Plan A?
Lord Ghaur: "Before the hour is struck, we shall see a new age aborning in the world! Set will rise! And I pity the power, human, Deviant, or Eternal that dares to stand against him!"
Speaking of standing against, the Avengers. The Avengers everyone!
Sersi shows off a fun use of her powers by transmuting the whole team (minus Iron Man and Vision) into water-breathers so they don't need extra gear to sneak into Ghaur's underwater base.
Once they get there, Iron Man knocks.
While Sersi changes most of the Avengers back to air-breathers, Iron Man and Vision get started knocking people on their asses and fisting them.
But before long, the Avengers encounter Bride Storm who blasts Cap with lightning and hurricane force winds indoors.
Cap bounces his shield all over the place before Storm blocks it with lightning.
... Can lightning knock something in motion away? That's weird.
But the shield bouncing was a cover for Wasp to sneak in while Storm's attention was drawn. Wasp blasts Storm who is knocked the hell out.
And standard disclaimer that she was fighting from the inside and that's why it was so easy to beat her.
Wonder Man belt jets ahead and punches the Lens of Power into bits, thwarting Ghaur's plans right when the Set orb was just a little bit short of life energy.
UNLESS... unless he can get comic bullshit to work for him?
Ghaur grabs Scarlet Witch and runs off with her, commanding the other Brides to stop Wonder Man.
He places the Set orb on the dais he long preached the Age of Set.
Lord Ghaur: "Come, woman! Use your power to change the shape of reality, to warp the fabric of probabilities! MAKE THE ENERGY INJECTED SUFFICIENT TO THE TASK!"
The Set Orb begins to expand.
Beast runs in with an iron gauntlet and fists the orb, hoping that iron's known power against the mystic will come into play here. But the Orb explodes, flinging him.
As the Brides chant "he rises!" Set is reborn on Earth.
Uh oh, twelve annuals in and Ghaur has succeeded in bringing an Elder God back to Earth. And only two annuals to fix this mess.
We'd need an act of god!
Oh, wasn't Thor off somewhere?
SET ASCENDING
Yes, he is.
Thor grabbed Quasar and the Thing due to their past exposure to the Serpent Crown and went to go see Dr Strange.
Where they'll be going, you need to be magical, a god, or have exposure to the Serpent Crown to survive. And these two are the only ones Thor could find since Scarlet Witch is under Ghaur's sway, Namor blew up, and Viper is untrustworthy.
Where are they going? Right to Set's home address to take the fight directly to him.
Problem:
Thor's group arrives right at the end of the last issue, when Set manifests on Earth.
(Thor points out something I didn't notice. Seven Avengers went on the mission to stop Ghaur, echoing Seven Brides, and Set the Seven Headed. That's a fun detail.)
The Avengers aren't the type to just not fight an Elder God so they all throw their best attacks at Set. But nothing they try even gets Set to blink. Even Vision bounces off when he tries to do his intangible thing.
Thor insists they need to pull Set back into his own dimension before he gains a real foothold on Earth. And since Set's seven heads are completely clogging the dimensional hole he's coming through, that leaves only one way to get into Set's dimension.
Through the mouth.
(The Avengers see Thor and Co. fly right into an Elder Snake God's mouth and Cap decides uhhhhhh well they must have a plan.)
Team Thor forces their way down Set's throat and all the way as far as they can go and then they force their way past that.
They emerge in Set's domain and so does Set except yanking him back into his own home from the inside out has kind of left him... inside out.
Thing: "Yecch! What a revoltin' development this is -- an' I do mean 'revoltin'!"
Well said.
Thor and Co. try fighting Set but he's an Elder God. You have the Sorcerer Supreme, the God of Thunder, the Guardian of the Universe, and Ben Grimm in a Thing exoskeleton here and its not enough.
If Dr Strange tries his hardest, he can manage to still be overwhelmed by one of the heads. Out of seven.
Things get worse when Set silently screams at the intruders in his domain, screams that threaten to drive them insane.
Thor just up and ditches. Mjolniports away.
But to a purpose. He went to speak with Gaia, his mom and another Elder God. To ask for her help against Set and specifically help contacting Atum, the Sun-Being who can turn to Demogorge, the God-Eater.
This is a lot of lore to suddenly throw in. Which is why it was part of the history of the Serpent Crown back-up stories that have been in each annual.
I already had to split this post in two so there wasn't a good way to go over all that lore so I just decided I'd bring it up if it were relevant.
And here it's relevant!
When Set was running amok on primeval Earth along with Chthon, Gaia got big mad and created Atum, who ate some of the Elder Gods to power-up into the Demogorge.
This was what frightened Set and Chthon into their dimensional hideaways.
We've got Set running amok again so can Atum help??
Gaia can't help with that. Set entering the world has imprisoned her.
So Thor whirls his go-anywhere hammer and goes to the Sun.
Except Atum says he can't help either because when he becomes the Demogorge, he can't stop himself from devouring. It would be trading one problem for another and besides, he hates himself like that.
So Thor annoys Atum into eating him.
Good job, Thor?
Good job. When the Demogorge shows up in Set's domain, he has Thor's head because Thor's willpower has taken over.
(He's done that sort of thing before, when the Destroyer armor ate him.)
It's a limited time thing before he's fully absorbed and digested, though, so Demothorge gets busy kicking Set's ass. And Set's ass has nowhere to flee because he's already in his bolt hole.
The Demothorge rips Set to pieces and then flings each head into a different dimension.
Gonna make it harder to come back from.
The Demogorge seems to finally absorb Thor so the Thing, Quasar, and Dr Strange prepare to try to beat Thor out of the guy.
But he tells them to HOLD and horks up Thor, reverting back to Atum.
In all his history of eating gods, he never ate one as noble as Thor. He was willing to sacrifice his immortal life for the sake of the mortals of Earth. And frankly, that's far too noble for Atum to stomach (complimentary) and it allowed Atum to keep the Demogorge's hunger under control.
Good job, Thor!
Set's dimension starts imploding without a Set to keep it stable.
Thor and Co. rush towards the portal but it's collapsing too.
But luckily Lord Ghaur screws up.
The time difference means its only been a few moments since Set was shoved back through the portal. So Ghaur assumes Set is trying to come back through. So he uses his own energy to stabilize the portal.
Ghaur: "I can help him reach the Earth again! By the Celestials! Instantaneous success! The fragment enlarges -- with it, the portal -- and through that portal I see -- "
Dr Strange, Quasar, Thor, and the Thing pop out of the portal.
Ghaur: " -- something I would rather not see."
Womp womp.
Ghaur tosses a blackout bomb and immediately flees with the Seven Brides.
It's an odd feeling where the evil scheme of the whole event has been thwarted (summoning Set) but the mastermind behind the scheme is still at large.
So they're going to go beat the shit out of him. Since Dr Strange can mystically track him and all.
Thor: "And when we do find Lord Ghaur, cringing in some far corner of the planet he betrayed to the serpent Set -- not all the grotesque godlings of Deviant Lemuria shall shield him from our righteous wrath!"
Which brings us to the conclusion of this whole thing.
for CROWN and CONQUEST!
Oh, hey, Namor is alive again. Neat.
And ignore that Tigra. I'm pretty sure she's a figment of your imagination. The real Tigra is tiny and in a terrarium.
All the Avengers and also the Fantastic Four and also Dr Strange gather in two Quinjets and an "amphibious Fantasticar" - which is clearly a submarine just call it a submarine -head towards Lemuria to bring this to an awesome conclusion.
While many of the Fantastic Avengers are ready to set to the task with grim purpose, Dr Pym and the Thing are pretty sure that this is just wrap-up.
After all, Thor and Co. from last annual already blew Set up so what does Lord Ghaur have left up his sleeve?
(A giant Serpent Crown, but who's counting?)
Weirdly, when Ben recaps the event (only stuff he would have some way of knowing, naturally) he mentions that the New Mutants beat up U-Man when he attacked Avengers Island.
We did see U-Man and some Atlanteans heading towards Avengers Island at the end of the Avengers Annual. And the New Mutants Annual was the very next part of the event. But neither U-Man nor Avengers Island appears in it.
Did wires get crossed? Was that what the New Mutants Annual was supposed to cover but it decided to show the destruction of Atlantis instead, conflicting with the destruction of Atlantis shown in Web of Spider-Man?
I have no idea.
I think the destruction is better in New Mutants and Lord Ghaur definitely says that the destruction caused by the monster he summoned counts as the needed ritual sacrifice. So if New Mutants instead was about them fending off an attack on Avengers Island by U-Man, the event would technically make more sense...
Anyway.
Over at Llyra's stronghold, she and Lord Ghaur make a plan to go down fighting, protected by their loyal Lemurians and Deviants.
It's less of a plan and more spite, honestly.
Which is why Ghaur pulls a plan out of his ass.
It is very maybe possible that if they spin the Brides of Set around really fast above the crown, the Giant-Sized Serpent Crown will absorb their essences and that could re-unite Set's heads and let him manifest.
Plan A of build giant Serpent Crown and sacrifice a huge number of people to summon Set felt appropriately Elder God-ish.
Plan B of Actually Dagger can just shoot energy through a lens at an orb to summon Set, we don't need to kill thousands of people felt easier.
Plan C of spin some women around until Set unexplodes is hilarious and desperate.
Lord Ghaur plans just devolve into wackiness over the course of this event.
I'm not even convinced that this will actually work. But it probably will kill some or all of the Brides and I like some or all of them so the heroes should stop this anyway.
But if it does work, how annoyed do you think Set will be? They're going to summon him into a world with no snake people cultists, no brides, and with him getting exploded the first time he poked his head through the door.
Even if Ghaur and Llyra succeed, they're not going to get rewarded by Set. Today has been hell on him.
The Avengers land in Lemuria and charge forward to have a big, exciting fight scene against Llyra's Lemurian army. Meanwhile, a shadowy figure sneaks off the Quinjet, having stowed along.
We can rule out it being Tigra, as she is not in this event.
The big Lemurian army is able to keep the Avengers and Fantastic Four and so on away from the room with the giant Serpent Crown because heaviest hitters Dr Strange and Thor are exhausted from fighting Set last annual. Also, there's just a lot of Lemurians.
I'm going to brush past most of the fighting. Some of it is cool but I don't need to do a blow by blow.
I will highlight Sersi's contribution though.
Where she calls the Deviants dogs and then is so pleased with her wordplay that she starts turning Deviants into dogs.
You and your sense of humor, Sersi.
(Does she turn them back later? Does she get them adopted into a good family?)
Llyra worries that the heroes will manage to fight through their armies before they finish spinning the Brides so she brings out the big guns. An enormous gun. A really big infra-sonic cannon.
BUT SUDDENLY NAMOR IS ALIVE AND KKRRUTTCHES THROUGH THE DOOR AND STARTS WRASSLING THE GIANT CANNON!
Turns out he wasn't dead. He was lying low, letting them think he was dead, and disguised as that mysterious armored figure who kept showing up.
The Fantastic Four (because Sue is missing and we've still got Reed, Johnny, Sharon, and Ben) help Namor tear the cannon apart.
But they can't get through the door to where Llyra, Ghaur, and the Brides are. Door is adamantium or something. Walls too, so don't get any bright ideas.
But Namor has a very good idea.
An underwater door that's unguarded because Llyra thought Namor dead.
While Namor and the Fantastic Four are swimming toward it, Namor exposits to a captive audience. The Fantastic Four can't really join the conversation because the water pressure will kill them.
He confides in them how much Llyra has taken from him. His bride, his cousin, and his father. So he very personally wants to rip open this secret sea entrance because Pride but as he struggles with it, he admits he actually needs some help and he's no longer ashamed to ask his friends, the Fantastic Four for it.
The Thing and Ms Marvel (the Sharon Ventura one, I'm not sure if she's called She-Thing here or not) help Namor get the hatch open just a little bit. And Mr Fantastic can fit through that gap and pry the hinges open from the inside. Getting them all inside before the water pressure pills wear off.
(I'm sorry but I'm going to assume they're the giant suppository ones from Futurama.)
The Fantastic Four and Pal Namor zoom through the hallways. Namor tries to give a history lesson about Naga of Lemuria who found the Serpent Crown centuries ago but Ben tells him to shut up.
That stuff is never going to be applicable in real life.
The heroes and Namor rush into the chamber with the giant-sized Serpent Crown and the whirling women, much to Ghaur and Llyra's dismay.
Llyra sends her guards to delay them but Ghaur tells her that the two of them will have to tap into the power of the Serpent Crown.
Namor lunges right at Llyra but she touches the Crown and shoots EYE BEAMS at him.
Ben in the Thing suit ruins up and starts punching the spinny thing but Ghaur waves his hands like a wizard and shoots mind control beams at the Fantastic Four, Fantastic Forcing them to fight each other.
Like with She-Hulk earlier, they're aware what they're doing and don't want to fight each other but are compelled by Ghaur's beams.
It gets violent too. Also, melodramatic.
Human Torch: "This is -- tearing me apart too, Reed -- only my flames keep burning away -- my t-tears!"
Over with Namor, Llyra tries to tempt him with illusions of Dorma and Marinna. The wife Llyra killed and the other wife that turned into a sea monster and Namor killed. Namor can bring one back to life! All he has to do is punch the one he doesn't want!
(It is, of course, a trick. Namor chooses neither and discovers that if he had punched he'd have killed a captive Namorita, who got captured off-panel after the New Mutants annual.)
Ghaur complains that Llyra is dicking around with Namor instead of helping him because the Fantastic Four aren't killing each other fast enough and he's getting worn out!
Llyra can't come help him because she's made Namor really mad and her eye beeeeams are only just keeping him at bay.
So Ghaur decides. Fuck this, actually. He taps deeper and deeper into the Serpent Crown's power. I guess he's given up on bringing Set back and just wants to kill these dudes and Sharon.
But tapping so deeply into the crown summons... Naga of Lemuria?
Dammit, if only Ben hadn't interrupted Namor's history lesson!
(Naga was covered in those history of the Serpent Crown back-up stories. All you need to know is that Naga was too much of a dick to his most loyal soldiers and one stabbed him. But I guess his soul or spirit or ghost got eaten by the Crown.)
Ghaur and Naga fight over the crown and their perfectly symmetrical violence destroys them both.
For some reason, Ghaur will be back. And in Avengers so I'll have to care!
Llyra also vanishes right in the middle of getting choked by Namor. She doesn't know what's happening and neither do I. Because her next appearance is in a book that doesn't have a synopsis on Marvel wiki.
That's part of why I do this liveblog. A lot of Avengers issues didn't have much of a summary and I wanted to know what happened.
Anyway.
Now that the Fantastic Four sorta technically won the day by being bad at killing each other until another bad guy showed up and took care of the one they were fighting.... the rest of the heroes finally break through and into the crown room.
Also, the woman wheel stops spinning and the Mark of Set vanishes from all their necks.
When Ben suggests tossing the giant-sized Serpent Crown down a crevice that formed during the fight, the former Brides all charge forward in unison and push the sucker in.
Where it explodes. And the explosion seals the crevice.
That's a weird thing for it to have done.
Beast asks why the ex-Brides were able to act in unison like that and Dagger says the wheel spun them into a hive mind but only for long enough to push the Crown.
That's a weird thing to establish and throw away!
Why did you need to justify them acting together?
(Also, funny moment. When Ben Grimm sees all the Brides together he goes 'hey that one looks like Storm, exactly like Storm, but clearly its not because she's dead.' This is important because the X-Men have turbo faked their death and won't even tell the loved ones they left behind they're alive. Can't casually spill the beans in a big crossover.)
Reed asks what Namor is going to do now. Atlantis was double destroyed and its people have once again scattered to parts unknown.
This happens to the Atlanteans so, so often.
That was even the status quo when he first appeared in Avengers. That's why he had so much time to hassle them. His people had abandoned city and he had nothing else going on in his life.
Namor decides he's not going to try to find and reunite his people. He doesn't say so but they chose Attuma over him. Fuck them.
(And when the missing Atlanteans plot point gets resolved, its going to turn out that they once again unite under Attuma. So fuck them!)
Instead, Namor is going to just hang out with Namorita, who is his whole family now.
Namorita, on the other hand, tells Namor she's going to college but he's free to visit.
Womp womp.
As everybody disbands back to whatever they were doing, Robot Human Torch and Captain America take time to muse on how Namor was a moody loner back in The War while Torch and Cap had Toro and Bucky. But now they don't and Namor has Namorita.
Which seems to misinterpret the dynamic here. Namor said he's going to follow Namorita around because he has nothing else going on and she's going to do college.
Not everything is about you and your life, Cap.
So that was Atlantis Attacks.
I'll give it this much: it was definitely an improvement on Evolutionary War.
Evolutionary War had three issues that tried to actually move the plot forward. The X-Factor Annual, where the High Evolutionary debated his philosophy with Apocalypse, the West Coast Avengers Annual where we learned he was building a big ol' evolution bomb, and the Avengers Annual where a rag-tag group of Avengers learned about the scheme and managed to thwart him by shooting their friend Hercules with dangerous evolution radiation.
Most of the event spun its wheels or was very unclear on what the High Evolutionary was actually trying to do. It really seemed like every writer got to decide that for themself so by the end, the whole story felt very inconsistent. The need to somehow give the Punisher a reason to be involved led to a weird drug subplot that ran through several of the annuals.
Atlantis Attacks tried to have each annual contribute to the story. Resurrecting Ghaur, showing the beginning of the Atlantis attacks, Marking a Bride, collecting mystical artifacts to reconstruct the Serpent Crown, having a weird drug subplot...
Oh, dammit, they did it again!
The Tyrannus stuff that runs through Amazing Spider-Man, Punisher, Spectacular Spider-Man and Daredevil really feels like an unnecessary subplot to get drugs in the story so Punisher has a reason to be involved.
Trying to come up with a story that involves every single annual runs into the problem that the fate of the world stuff that can unite every hero is an odd fit for the Punisher. Because the plot is brought down to his level instead of him up to the plot.
Unlike when other parts of his plan failed, Ghaur didn't really bother trying to come up with a Plan B for losing all those snake people so I guess they weren't really necessary to the scheme.
There's also the problem where Atlantis gets destroyed twice as a sacrifice but then it turns out that wasn't the sacrifice, the sacrifice would have been if the US military and superheroes had slaughtered all of the Atlantean soldiers. So why blow up Atlantis at all? Why choose a method of sacrifice that's so out of your control?
And the New Mutants fighting U-Man on Avengers Island gets referenced but never happens in the event, making me think that someone got the wrong script sent to them.
So, Atlantis Attacks has problems.
It tried harder to tell a story that would unite all the annuals of a year and it stumbled.
I'm going to give it points for trying and improving on the last attempt.
And in the early parts of the story, I was legitimately surprised by how okay it was. Excited to try to piece things together from how each annual progressed the overall plot.
I like how instead of just constantly winning, Ghaur keeps suffering setbacks and switches to a backup plan. I think a lot of events would just make the villain win all the time until he grasps the villain ball at the end so he can actually be defeated. But here, Ghaur is defeated because the heroes just kept coming and he ran out of plans and wound up destroying himself. Or rather, a snake ghost destroyed him but whatever.
And I like how the obvious end boss Elder God Set is defeated in the penultimate issue, leaving Ghaur scrambling with a backup backup backup plan that seemed based on more wistful thinking than anything.
The next year's annuals are broken into smaller events. Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, West Coast Avengers, and Avengers telling one story rather than trying to come up with a story that fits every book being published.
The Spider-Man Annuals get to tell their own story, instead of having a disproportionate share of a company wide event.
The X-books and Fantastic Four revisit Days of Future Past for their annuals.
And Punisher, Daredevil, Hulk, and Silver Surfer share a story for theirs. Now that grouping is a bit eclectic.
Telling smaller events with fewer books is probably a smarter idea and easier to write a good story for. It is also much easier for me to cover.
I thought Evolutionary War was tough. Atlantis Attacks nearly killed me.
AND WHY WAS IT CALLED ATLANTIS ATTACKS WHEN ATLANTIS ATTACKING WAS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE PLOT AND DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH THE EVENT??
Follow @essential-avengers. Like and reblog maybe. Brain fried, can't think of silly ending text.
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