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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 month

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Take Care of You [10]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 5.7k

Mood board and borders by @saradika

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[A/N: 🤡. I came back to life to immediately die off again i'm so sorry. here take this next part and all my love. speaking of my love, i already closed beta readers on tiktok but for anyone on here, if you wanna see why i've been so MIA, shoot me a message with your email if you wanna beta read my original work (i do ask that you do a questionnaire afterwards but that's just to help me out). But, imagine a scifi/fantasy where the book 'Six of Crows' meets 'The Last of Us', and I have good sources that y'all like TLOU👀]

[A/N pt.2: I did not edit this to the degree I should have and there is no tag list at the bottom i am so so so so sorry].

10: THE EVIDENCE IS PRETTY DAMNING

The ceiling wasn’t right.

That was your first, foggy thought when your eyes opened. Rather than the bumpy, plaster speckles collecting dust it was smooth and off white. You slowly sat up with a groan, head spinning and mouth dry, and you blinked three times before your situation dawned on you. This was not your bed, not your house. Fuck. You set your hands on the bed to lean back then winced. With a hiss, you pulled your hand up and saw the bandaged injury from last night.

You cradled the hand with your other and turned to hang your legs over the edge of the bed. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a note on the nightstand. You leaned over. There was a full water bottle and a bottle of tylenol resting on top of a piece of paper. On the paper, in scratchy, nearly illegible, writing was, ‘Come downstairs when you’re ready. Feel free to use the shower and change if you want. ⏤Joel’. You dragged your fingers to trace the words.

With a shaky breath, you grabbed the water bottle and took a couple pills in hopes to nurse the aches and pains you felt. You stared at the words again. Last night, Joel admitted to being married to Sarah’s mom and you had responded by passing the fuck out. You had tried to argue, demand more information, but your body fought against your curiosity. All the drinks you had prior and the fading adrenaline from the fight probably hadn’t helped.

You rose from the bed with a groan and crossed to use the bathroom adjoined to Joel’s bedroom. When you flicked the lights on, you took the first movement to glance around the space. The walls were beige with white tile floors. On one side was a large jacuzzi style tub next to an expansive walk in shower. On the other was ample counter space and drawers with matching him and her sinks. In the back was the small room where the toilet sat and beyond that a walk in closet. The space was lived in. A dirty clothes basket off to the side half full, toiletries on the counter and on the shelves in the shower, you spotted a pair of glasses you had never seen Joel wear resting by the sink on the right side of the counter. That must be the one Joel used most. A toothbrush sat by it and you noticed water by the rim like he hadn’t wiped up when finished.

Also on the counter were a stack of clothes, you stepped toward it and saw it was a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants that must have belonged to him. On top of it was a brand new toothbrush. Your gaze lifted to look at yourself in the mirror and you flinched. You looked a mess⏤ your hair, your clothes, everything. You rubbed at your face with a sigh and slipped into a morning time routine despite the unfamiliar setting.

Celina.

The name rang in your head over and over and over again. It didn’t matter that you had been only half with it last night. You remembered that clearly. As you cleaned up, your headache began to improve and by time you left the bathroom you at least felt human again. A new anger bubbled just under your skin. You couldn’t quite yet put your anger into words, but you knew it was there. After washing up, you traded the clothes you wore to the bar for the ones Joel left you. The shirt was worn out, like it was aged, and navy in color. It read ‘Miller’s Contracting’ with a number on it for contact. It reminded you of the kind of shirt a small company would make and not a multi-million dollar one. You tightened the waistband of Joel’s sweatpants. They were at least joggers so you didn’t have to worry about tripping over yourself.

You crossed the upstairs, open space to the stairs. Faintly, you heard the sound of someone moving around downstairs. A brief wave of nervousness had you hesitating at the top of the stairs, but it slipped away back to anger. It seemed that was where your heart was making camp this morning.

Slowly, you descended the stairs. The wooden floors under your feet didn’t creak or make noise as you padded into the living room first. A few couches were situated in front of a wall that held a large flat screen TV and a fireplace. The back wall was made of glass, a window and door all in one that revealed the back patio where a small pool and deck were, and the space beside it was the kitchen. Just as open as the rest of Joel’s house. The cabinets were made of dark wood with matching countertops and at the center was a large island with chairs.

On the island counter looked like to-go boxes of food. You stared at them a moment longer, but a door hidden just out of view on the wall in the kitchen opened. Joel stepped into the kitchen nonchalantly until he spotted you and did a double take. He froze and stared. The two of you were actually similarly dressed. He had on a t-shirt that looked tight on his broad shoulders and a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips. Joel looked exhausted.

“Hey.” He said softly. “Mornin’, sug⏤” Joel stopped himself, it looked like he choked on his words, but he locked his jaw and changed direction. “Mornin’. How did you sleep?” You gave a small shrug and a tight lipped smile. “Right. How’s your…” Joel lifted his own hand. “Your hand?”

You lifted it up to stare down at it. The bandages had been pulled away when you washed up this morning. It didn’t look so bad. “It’s fine. Thanks for the⏤ the tylenol. And the toothbrush. And the,” You motioned to the clothes hanging off your frame, “You know.”

“Can I?” Joel nodded toward you.

“I said, it’s fine, Joel.”

“I…” He sighed and the look in his eyes was agonizing. “I know you’re pissed at me. Understandably so. But, please let me…”

You walked over to sit down at one of the tall chairs at the island counter and set your hand on the marble top. Joel mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ and disappeared for a quick second. He was back with a small first aid kit again. You twisted your lips when you felt his warm hand cautiously take yours. It was quiet as he reapplied a bit of medicine to the hand before wrapping it up again.

“You don’t…” Joel started then cleared his throat. You never would have used the word anxious to describe the Joel you had gotten to know thus far, but nervous energy seemed to radiate off him. The tension in his shoulders looked painful to keep hold of. “I had breakfast delivered. Some stuff I know you like.” Joel pulled his hand away from yours. “But you don’t have to stay if you don’t wanna.”

“No. I want to.” You replied. Joel looked briefly hopeful. “I want to talk about this. I want⏤ to know. I want answers.”

“Right. Of course.” Joel nodded quickly. “I owe you at least that.” You nodded in agreement. Joel straightened from where he stood and ran a hand over his chest and shoulder with a quiet cough. “Can I make you something to drink? Coffee, tea, juice?”

You gave a small nod, mumbling a response, and watched as Joel put it all together. He poured himself a cup of coffee after serving you. Rather than take the seat beside you, he stood on the other side of the island counter across from you.

“You mentioned the girl from Vegas last night briefly, but how did you know…”

“Yo-yo told me you had a sugar baby before me. That you married her.”

“I did have a sugar baby before you, yes.” Joel sighed.

“Why did you lie to me?” You demanded.

Joel shook his head, “I never lied to you. I just⏤ I never told you, and you never asked.”

“Really?” You scoffed. “That’s what you wanna hang your hat on here? Semantics?” Joel hung his head then shook it a bit. “I didn’t want to believe her, but yesterday Nima texted someone she knows. A private investigator⏤”

Joel’s eyes widened, “You hired a private investigator??”

“I didn’t hire anybody! Nima just texted them and they confirmed⏤”

“You went to a PI before just asking me?” Joel replied sharply. You leaned back in your seat⏤ in shock at his audacity. He must have noticed how you felt because he held up a hand. “I just mean, that’s a huge invasion of privacy and all you had to do was call me⏤”

You pushed out of your seat and turned to leave. Joel called out after you before following. He grabbed your hand to tug you to a stop and you glared at him over your shoulder. You snapped, “If you’re just going to stand there and be defensive then there’s no reason for me to be here, Joel.” You pulled your hand out of his grip and spun to face him. “I understand that getting in contact with a fucking PI was a crazy move, but yesterday I felt a little crazy.” You scoffed. “I felt like an idiot. I felt like a naive, desperate idiot who got played. So, yeah, I let Nima text her cousin’s cousin’s cousin to find an answer because the thought of standing in front of you and asking⏤”

The rest of your words got caught in your throat. You didn’t want to get emotional in front of Joel. More than anything you wanted to keep your cool and be collected. Just in case he did break your heart, you could walk away with at least some of your dignity intact. Joel took a step closer. Thankfully, he didn’t try to touch you, but he did lift his hands slightly in surrender.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m being defensive. Hell, I'm being an ass.” You locked your jaw and let your eyes focus on something over his shoulder. Unable to stare into those deep, dark eyes. “This is… This isn’t an easy subject for me to talk about and I⏤ I panicked. I want you to hear me out. I want you to know the truth.” He shifted in his stance so your gaze was forced to meet his. The longing there made you suck in a sharp breath. “Please. Give me another chance to explain this. I’ll do better.”

You rubbed the back of your neck with your non-injured hand and gave a small nod.

“Thank you. Thank you.” Joel repeated himself. He took a step back but kept his shoulders facing you as if he thought you were a flight risk. Joel motioned to his couch. “Do you wanna sit? I’ll grab our drinks.” You sighed and meandered over to sit down on one end of his leather couch. Joel didn’t move back into the kitchen until after you were seated. He came back with both of your drinks and handed you your own before sitting on the other side of the couch. One cushion of space between the two of you.

You took a sip, trying to gather your thoughts, before nodding once. “I want to know about your wife first. Celina, you said? I want to know about her.”

“Yeah.” Joel swallowed thickly. “Do you remember anything I mentioned about Sarah’s mom before?”

“I didn’t know her name.” You replied. “You said the two of you had dated for, like, three months?” Joel nodded. “She got pregnant, and you worked it out. Things were fine, but two weeks after Sarah was born she left. You never said the two of you got married though.”

“Because we didn’t.” Joel replied softly. “I asked. Proposed to her when we found out she was pregnant with Sarah, and she said no.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he wasn’t meeting your gaze anymore. Joel stared down at the coffee mug in his hands. “I loved her. She was my first real love, actually. I knew our situation wasn’t ideal, but… I wanted it to work. I saw a future with her.” Joel ran his thumb back and forth on the edge of his mug’s rim where it reached. He chuckled, “When Sarah was born… Those two weeks? It was⏤ It was good. But, uh, then she left.” Joel shrugged in a way that attempted nonchalance but did not meet the mark. “Her leaving hurt for a lot of reasons. For one, in no way was I prepared to take care of a newborn.”

You set your drink on the coffee table before leaning back. Joel stayed silent, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and you recognized the look of someone getting stuck in their own memories. You spoke up, “What happened then? When did you get married?”

“Celina is…” Joel began. He rubbed his jawline. “I spent a lot of time being furious with her⏤ hating her. Not just for leaving me behind, but for leaving Sarah. Sarah deserved better.” He shook his head. “But she… she came to me, needing help, and I⏤ I couldn’t say no. Not to her. And not because I still had any sort of feelings for her, but because no matter how angry I was at her she gave me Sarah.” A vulnerable softness filled his features and he finally lifted his head to meet your gaze fully. “Without Celina, I wouldn’t have Sarah.”

You could understand that. You knew that his daughters meant absolutely everything to Joel. More so, despite all the shit going on between the two of you right now, despite Joel arguing otherwise, you knew he was a good man. You had a very hard time picturing him saying no to anyone who came to him for help.

“When did she come to you? And why? What problem is solved with marriage?”

“Three years ago. Just about.” Joel mumbled. “It’s… She was sick. Cancer. The only feasible treatment was going to bankrupt her because her insurance refused to cover the cost. Celina came back wanting to see Sarah. Get to know her before she died.” Your eyes widened in surprise at both the news and the confusion that came with trying to connect the dots. “I told her that was up to Sarah⏤ she was old enough to make that decision for herself and I was gonna support her with whatever she chose.”

You nodded slowly, “Okay…”

“Sarah decided she did want to meet her mom. And I…” Joel paused. He set his coffee mug down on the coffee table as well and laced his fingers together. He was fidgeting. Another nervous tick of his. Joel could never seem to keep his hands still when he was caught in his own mind. It was like his hands so desperately wanted to fix what stressed him out⏤ even if it wasn’t a physical problem they could fix. “I⏤ I couldn’t stop thinking… remembering…”

Joel squeezed his eyes shut, and the palpable pain had you shifting closer. It dawned on you. Words clicking in your mind. You set a hand on his forearm and gave it a small squeeze, “Your mom.” Joel had told you, ages ago, that he had lost his own mother to cancer. “You lost her. I remember you telling me.”

“Yes.” Joel unlaced his own fingers so he could settle one hand on top of yours⏤ still resting on his forearm. The tip of his thumb dragged back and forth against the knuckle of your index finger. Tracing the shape of it. “It wasn’t… It wasn’t the exact same, I know that, but… Sarah technically had already lost her once.”

“Joel…”

“I offered to pay. Pay for the treatment in full.” Joel’s thumb stilled to squeeze your hand once. “I’d cover all the costs, but⏤ but Celina refused. Said she didn’t want,” Joel scoffed with a humorless laugh, “Didn’t want to be a ‘charity case’. Said she didn’t come back for my money, or for me to fix the problem, she came back for Sarah.” Joel shook his head. “We argued in circles for God knows how long. We finally settled on this. If we got married, she’d have my insurance instead of her own. My insurance would cover most of the treatments and she’d pay what it didn’t.”

You understood that. It matched up with what you knew about Joel. “How is she? Now?”

“In remission. Since seven months ago, she’s been in remission.” A small smile flickered on his features. “She lives in Waco. Wanted to be closer to Sarah. One of the only reasons I could stomach all of us coming to LA while Sarah stayed in Texas for college. I knew she’d at least have her there in case of emergencies.”

Your face scrunched in question, “Then why… Why are you still married?”

“I don’t have a reason. Not a real one. Not beyond me just being lazy.” Joel said firmly. He held your hand tight, keeping it pinned to his arm, like it was a lifeline. “Up until now, it didn’t matter to me. It made no difference. That’s it. I swear to you, sugar.” The nickname fell out of his mouth like second nature. “And I’m working on changing that already. You can ask Tommy or⏤ or hell I’ll give you Celina’s number or our lawyer’s number. We started the official divorce paperwork the day you and I got back from Vegas. It was the first call I made after dropping you off at your place.”

You did believe him. As Joel held your gaze, all you could see in those soulful eyes was a deep desperation. An ache seeking the comfort that would come with reassurance. “I believe you.” You said softly and his eyes closed in relief. His entire body sagged as the tension seeped out of it. You really did believe him, and of all the ways this could’ve gone wrong technically you supposed this was the best case scenario. However, learning this made you realize what aspect of this bothered you more than most. You slid your hand out from under his. “Why… Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was… I was going to. After.”

“Why though? Why after?” You shook your head. “Why didn’t you trust me with this?” Joel’s face fell again. “I know we haven’t known one another for long, but…” You bit back your words before you admitted to the naive truth that you felt some sort of connection to him. That being with him was as easy as breathing and you foolishly let yourself get carried away. “I don’t…”

Joel quickly scooted closer, a hand held up in surrender, “Had nothing to do with⏤ with me not… I do trust you. I do.” Joel shook his head. “Me not mentioning this had nothing to do with you. It was me.” His words reminded you of Vegas. This excuse was sounding familiar and the more you heard it the harder it was to believe. He hung his head and winced. “I need to tell you about⏤ about Erina.”

“That’s…” You began. “Is that your sugar baby?

“Yeah.” Joel nodded. “But it was more complicated than that.”

“So, I’m gathering.” You mumbled. The words of frustration left your lips before you could filter them. In this situation, you felt you had every right to be upset and bitter, but the look of pained guilt that filled Joel’s features made every cell in your body vibrate with regret. It felt like you had just kicked a puppy, and those sad, brown eyes were heart wrenching. “Sorry.”

Joel shook his head quickly. “No. Don’t. You don’t need to be sorry. I do.”

“You’re talking to me⏤ answering my questions.” You replied with a small shrug. “The least I can do is not be petty.” You twisted your lips. “So? Tell me about her.”

“She wasn’t my sugar baby to begin with.” Joel started softly. He turned his head to keep his gaze on the mug sitting on the coffee table, and you found the story easier to stomach without those powerful eyes focused on you. “My company got hired for a job. It was a big one, which is why it came across my desk. Some summer project. A finance guy wanted his vacation house completely renovated in Malibu. I decided to take a more hands on position for the entire thing. Stayed on site to work.” It wasn’t a shock to hear. You were plenty aware that Joel spent most of his work time on site if he could. Joel only donned a tie for the board room when Tess wrestled him into it. “The guy who hired us wasn’t there, but his wife was. At least, I thought it was his wife.”

“But it wasn’t.”

Joel gave out a sad chuckle, “No. She wasn’t. Erina was… lively and energetic. She was fun, and I… It had been a long time since I experienced that kind of light hearted fun. Plus, the client, when he did come around, was such an asshole to her and I⏤” Joel sighed. “She left him midway through the project, but we didn’t get involved with one another until after it was over. When it started, it was great. The honeymoon phase was…” His voice trailed off as a small, sad smile crossed his face. You found your stomach churn in jealousy at him talking about this other woman. It was damn near nonsensical, but the emotion rose up regardless. “The issues started a while in. I realized that we saw the relationship differently. I thought… I thought what we had was real, and she only saw me as her new sugar daddy.”

For a while, we just went on. I didn’t think the difference in how we viewed things would matter. Stupid, I know, but… I thought I was happy.” Joel mumbled the last bit. He lifted a hand to rub at his jawline. “As you’ve probably figured out, I’m not⏤ I’m not good at this. Relationships and…” He tensed. “Some people are just better off alone, but I’ve been too hard headed to accept that.”

“Joel.” You interrupted the flow of his story at his claim. You didn’t believe that and you especially refused to believe it about Joel. “That’s not⏤”

“Things were still working until I…” Joel shook his head. “I told her about Celina. Tried to explain the situation to her, but when she told me to get divorced and I couldn’t⏤ that’s when it all started to crumble. I didn’t actually end the relationship until after I found out she was seeing a few other guys.” You opened your mouth the speak, the beginnings of a sentence you didn’t know how to end slipping from your tongue, but Joel suddenly turned in his seat to face you and the look in his eyes silenced any attempt at speech. He hesitantly reached out and let his hand settle on top of yours. When you didn’t pull away, he squeezed his grip tighter. “You and Erina are not the same. It wasn’t until after we stopped seeing one another that I realized how terrible our relationship had been. So please, please, don’t think I’m comparing you to her because I’m not. I know how she reacted is not some⏤ some default and you wouldn’t necessarily react the same, but… but every time I considered telling you about Celina, all I could imagine was you leaving. And I, selfishly, stopped myself from admitting the truth to you because I didn’t want to ruin this the way I ruin everything else.”

You murmured his name. Early on, you recognized Joel had trust issues, but you had never realized it stretched this far. Joel didn’t trust even himself. It broke your heart that he thought so poorly of himself. No matter how upset you were at the man you knew deep down he was a good. His mistake had hurt you, but it hadn’t been born of malice. You saw that now. Fear and self doubt had brought the two of you to this crossroads.

“Joel, that isn’t true.” You said softly. “You don’t ruin everything.”

“The evidence is pretty damning.” Joel chuckled sadly. You opened your mouth to argue, but he shook his head quickly and held out a hand to stop you. “That’s not the point of… I should’ve told you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I should’ve told you, been up front about it all, and I’m sorry.” Joel sighed. “I’m sorry, sugar.”

He had answered a number of your questions and with the truth came the relief of knowing. Plus, the answer technically hadn’t been your worst case scenario. God knew your brain was plenty capable of thinking up some nightmare-ish situations. So in comparison, it would be worse. Still, there was an itch that hadn’t quite yet been scratched.

“Why… Why seek out a new sugar baby?” You asked. His experience with Erina had obviously been less than ideal so why try again? You shook your head, “Why me?”

“Those are two very different questions.”

“How do you figure that?”

“I …” Joel began hesitantly. You could see his thoughts jumbling in his mind as he struggled to string one along. Conversations like this were hardly considered Joel’s comfort zone so you did appreciate that he was trying. That went a long way as well. “Erina came back into my life not so long ago.” You felt your stomach drop and your heart clench painfully. The emotional response was so physical that it nearly made you sick. Joel must have noticed because he quickly reached out and settled a hand on your shoulder. “No. Not like that. She means nothing to me. She came to me wanting to get back together, harassing me about it, but I’ve made it crystal clear to her and everyone around us that I have no interest in restarting something with her. Especially now.”

“Okay…”

“The idea was…” Joel winced sheepishly. “The idea was to hire a sugar baby as a way to show her that I was serious. We were done and I was moving on.” It was ridiculous enough that from anyone’s else mouth you wouldn’t have believed them, but they had been said in Joel’s sincerity. “I know how that sounds.”

“Not good. It sounds not good.”

“I know. Everyone told me it was a bad idea. Tess, Sarah, Ellie.” You found it interesting that his daughters knew about their father’s love life to that degree. It spoke to how close they were and his stance on honesty. Joel chuckled. “Actually, the only person who agreed with me on the plan was Tommy, but I suppose that should’ve been a sign to give it up.” Your lips twitched up mildly in amusement. “But, deep down I knew it would hurt Erina, and I… I wanted to be petty.”

You shrugged, “And I’m apart of this… how? To annoy Erina?”

“No.” Joel said firmly, almost roughly. “Absolutely not. Remember the day you bought me that coffee? I said I had been meeting with some other, um, women?” You nodded and let him continue. “By time I made it to the that coffee shop, I had already half decided to give up the idea. It was obviously going poorly. I was literally just looking for someone I wouldn’t mind spending time with and I couldn’t even do that. But you were… God, meeting you felt like a breath of fresh air.” He messily ran a hand through his hair while his other continued to fidget. “You stayed on my mind and when I spotted you again…”

“I…” You tried to find the right words. The ones he would want to hear. It felt odd to give forgiveness for a misunderstanding, but you knew that’s what he was seeking. Validation. “I forgive you.”

The relief on Joel’s face was staggering and when he held a hand out to you, you knew exactly what he was asking for. You closed the space and let him pull you into a hug. His warm, large hands enveloped you as he craddled the back of your head to hold you as closely to him as you could. You wrapped your own arms around him and lazily dragged your thumb up and down where it rested.

You did forgive him for this. That was the truth and you meant it with your whole heart, but this entire experience was eye opening. You had fallen for Joel so dangerously fast. It made you realize that if this had been a different scenario, one of the nightmare-ish ones you imagined, it would’ve destroyed you. With the speed you were moving in, you would’ve hit the ground at a million miles per hour and shattered. You forgave Joel, but you needed to figure out a way to better guard your heart.

“I’m sorry for reaching out to a PI.”

“No. Don’t be.” Joel pulled back and the hand at the back of your head dragged forward to cup the side of your face. He sighed, “You were right. I should’ve handled this better, but I… I do appreciate you saying so.” The two of you sat in a moment of silence and for the first time since you met him that silence felt awkward. Joel must have felt it as well based on the clearing of his throat and fidgeting. “So… Are we— Are we okay?”

You nodded, “I think so.” The tension left Joel’s shoulders and you quickly stood. “I should… I should go.”

“You’re off today though, aren’t you?” Joel stood as well.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Stay. Please.” Joel motioned back to the kitchen. “Have breakfast. I called Tommy and he’s gonna bring over your stuff.” Your eyes widened in surprise and he shrugged. “Tommy is gonna bring over your friend who has your stuff I should say.”

You hesitated, nervous after this heart to heart, but Joel held out a hand to you. Equally a peace offering and lifeline. You just weren’t sure if it was a lifeline for you or him. You set your hand in his and he gave it a small squeeze. The smile on his face was soft and open. Two words you knew not many people were able to claim as a description with him.

Joel led you back toward the kitchen and when you turned to try and go back for your mug he stopped you. He settled you on one of the bar stools, hands lingering on your hips briefly, before going back to the living room for both your mugs.

“You know, when I pictured you spending the night here this wasn’t quite how I thought it’d go.” Joel chuckled and grabbed a plate. You leaned on the counter and waited since you knew that plate he was making was meant for you. It took a second for his words to dawn on you. Joel pictures you spending the night in his home with him? Your face and neck warmed at the thought. It wasn’t like you hadn’t had those kinds of ideas, but hearing it from him still made your heart flutter. Even with the disaster miscommunication still lingering in your rear view mirror. “Here. Lemme know if you want anything else.” Joel set the plate in front of you and handed you a fork. After making his own plate, he pulled the barstool beside you closer and sat down. He sat sideways to face you and his knee pressed against your stool. “We could, uh, we could have a day in.”

“Hm?” You took a bite of your food.

“We’re both in pajamas and neither of us have work.”

“You don’t have work?” You asked in surprise.

Joel shook his head. “I already called Tess and told her I wasn’t coming in today. Told her I was feeling sick.”

“Did she actually believe you?” You smirked.

“No.” Joel chuckled. “She didn’t. But she also didn’t call me out on my shit, so…”

He gave you a charming smile, obviously trying to lighten the mood, and you found you appreciated it. Things weren't perfect, but for the sake of what had been you were willing to try.

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #sugar daddy!joel miller x reader #sugardaddy!joel miller #i forgot what tags i used to use #oh lord #uh #reader insert #joel miller

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writingwithcolor · 9 months

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Afro-Latine Jewish woman maintaining cultural connection in an isekai comic

Anonymous asked:

Hello! Mixed Latin American nonbinary Jew here. I'm working on a, relatively light-hearted, isekai-style fantasy comic concept of an afro-latine Jewish lady who gets sent through a portal to a colorful scifi/fantasy land, inhabitated by various imaginary creatures sorta like in Alice in Wonderland. She gains magic powers and goes on adventures, working as a scientist researching the land's magical energy. (some of the local creatures she befriends are entirely original species, and some are inspired by my local folklore, but otherwise I try to avoid culturally coding the creatures since they're mostly nonhuman looking). The story isn't supposed to touch any heavy topics like antisemitism or racism, but I've read about the cultural problems in ""normie protagonist finds a new home in a funky fantasy world"" stories, f.ex. how Harry Potter's narrative basically implies that Muggleborns have to abandon their original cultures in order to successfully integrate into the very prejudiced but ""cooler"" Wizarding World. My original goal was to break the mold that escapism fantasy usually revolves around white protagonists adventuring in heavily Western-inspired fantasy worlds, and poc-coded characters are usually nonhuman creatures or racial stereotypes. However the protagonist girl in my story comes from a loving, latine-jewish human family, and while she regularly visits them on Earth instead of just staying in the fantasy land 24/7, I'm afraid that making her story be about being happy adventuring in a separate imaginary land filled with nonhuman characters might turn into an ""abandon your family and culture"" narrative. Are there any ways how I could avoid this? Maybe making the fantasy land's worldbuilding and designs more Latin American or Jewish inspired and thus resonate more with her cultural background, or making it clear that the land is not ""perfect"" and she still loves her family?

One of the first things that stands out to me is that you haven’t set her up to need to abandon her culture in order to make a life in another place. She has the ability to go home and visit her family, but I also don’t see any reason why, if she lives primarily in the fantasy land, she couldn’t be portrayed as practicing Judaism actively in her new home. It’s true that Judaism isn’t solely defined by religious/cultural practices, but it’s also true that religious/cultural practices are one of the most recognizable and most uniting elements of Jewish identity.

I think it might help in this case to think about Jewish practices in terms of communal versus personal: that is, what are practices she would need to seek out a Jewish community for, and what are practices she can do independently?

Does she control when she is able to visit her family? If so, visiting for Jewish holidays so that she can be at a family meal or holiday services seems like a way to highlight that she is just as connected to her family as someone who moved to a different city might be. If she experiences/has experienced the death of a family member or partner, going home to be with a Jewish community for shiva or to say kaddish on a yahrzeit is another touch (for readers who may be unfamiliar, Jewish mourning practices are intensely communal and are intentional about bringing the mourner into an active support system and slowly reintroducing them to the world, and as such a mourner is likely to spend this time somewhere where they can access and be supported by a Jewish community).

As far as practices she can engage with on her own in the fantasy setting, it would be nice to see her observing Shabbat, either in a traditional way by refraining from adventuring and instead engaging in hospitality and prayer between dusk Friday and sundown Saturday, or in a less-halakhic way if she comes from a Reform or comparatively-assimilated background, by marking Friday sunset with candles, blessings, and a good meal, even if she is intending to continue her research through the next day. She would hardly be the first Jewish person to live in a place without an established Jewish community, and a festive meal can be shared just as happily with non-Jewish friends if they’re griffons and fauns as if they’re Christians and Muslims.

Here’s one idea that I think would be hugely meaningful as a way of establishing both that she intends to make her home long-term in Fantasy World and that she intends to carry Jewish traditions with her into her new life: hang a mezuzah.

Think about it: a mezuzah is the visual marker of a Jewish home, as much to the resident as to a guest. When she is home from her adventures, in her garden cottage or enchanted tower or wherever she returns to between adventures to record and categorize her research, simply showing a mezuzah in the background instantly makes the point both that she is intending to stay, and that this is a Jewish space. If as time goes on she adds other Judaica items to her space, it can add to the sense that her Jewishness is present and alive in this world, simply because she is present and alive in it.

If she doesn’t have a settled space or if you’re not planning on setting any scenes there, having Jewish visual markers on and around her can help, too. For low-hanging fruit, maybe she has a silver Jewish Star or chai necklace that catches the light now and then, but since you’re going for a light, fun vibe, maybe she’s packing her adventuring supplies in a bright-blue vinyl backpack emblazoned with “Temple Shaarei Tzedek Junior Youth Retreat 1998” (am I old? I’m pretty sure there are adults reading this who were in Junior Youth groups in 2003, but I’m willing to bet retreat swag hasn’t changed that much).

I do like the idea of including Latin American and Jewish elements in the worldbuilding, especially as an intentional way to combat the cultural dominance of Western European folklore over fantasy writing, but because your character is from and has access to our world, you have the beautiful opportunity to carry real-world markers of Jewishness with her as well.

-Meir

I adore Meir’s answer, but then, I’m the kind of person to whom “enchanted tower with a mezuzah” as an aesthetic is so near and dear to my heart that I wrote a whole fantasy series about it. Couple of random suggestions: one thing I really enjoy is exposing my gentile friends to Jewish food—I love watching the absolute shock of delirium hit someone’s face the first time they taste my charoseth. Imagine this little bowl of chopped apples and walnuts, looking vaguely dirty because they’re soaked in cinnamon-infused wine, so it’s basically dingy beige slop….so that first bite of sensuous, deep sweetness is a huge surprise. Pick your favorite equivalent and imagine the first time a centaur or a winged princess or whatever other fantasy character tries it at your MC’s behest! (Feeding brisket to dragons would make a great name for…something…)

I don’t think you’re likely to do this anyway but since these are public answers: “fantasy world fun, Jewish upbringing a chore” is a narrative I would not feel at home in or care to read. But that’s a rather predictable remark from me anyway ;)

And of course I support the “the secondary fantasy world is actually Jewish” solution too, having one of my own.

–Shira

#Jumblr #Jewish #Judaism #Afro Latina #Afro Latine #Culture #Jewish culture #Jewish holidays #asks

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datamodel-of-disaster · 28 days

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Some thoughts about TTRPGs, and the ubiquity of DnD.

As someone who does not *love* DnD… it is still the only game I’ve tried with that particular vibe. And I don’t mean “medieval fantasy”.

I mean, an achievement fantasy underscored by mechanics built around an individual success-and-improvement narrative, with a large social component. (You win as a team, but you improve and grow as individual characters.)

This is mechanical, independent of what your DM may or may not put in the game.

Let me list it out.

DnD has no standard mechanics for detriments.

As much as there are possibilities for certain monsters and afflictions to permanently harm or alter a character against the player’s will, a DM has to actively choose to put those in their game, and even then there are typically ways to heal or fix them. In a typical game, there are no permanent, mechanically enforced negatives for your dude; no lingering injuries, no madness, no disabilities, etc.

Recovery mechanics are also simple and accessible (looking at you, Long Rest) and resources are not really set up to be scarce and/or a slog to track and ration.

(Mind you: I’m talking about mechanics that impose a permanent debuff or handicap on your character against your will as a feature of the game, not about playing a disabled character as your own choice.)

Simple, straightforward ability growth as a central mechanic.

DnD is almost entirely designed around characters becoming cooler and stronger over time. This ability growth is straightforward: no complicated skill tree system where you can get screwed over by your own suboptimal choices.

There is also no standard mechanic to lose abilities you’ve gained, nor is your degree of improvement every level left to chance. (The closest DnD comes to a chance mechanic in this area is rolling for HP, and even that’ll let you take average if you roll below). The game is set up to reward your character with ability growth just for continuing to play it.

Success narrative dominates.

The primary completion path in all DnD modules is “the characters win the day”. That’s what the game is about. And as much as some modules may try to subvert that with little bits of flavour text here and there, they’re doing so for show. The very manner a DM has to set up sessions is all about making the challenges appropriately levelled for the players to overcome. If you’re playing, you’re *supposed* to overcome the challenge. A game where everyone dies is not considered expected or desirable. And while a creative DM may occasionally set up an encounter the characters are expected to flee from… if it’s not telegraphed properly, the odds are they WILL die. Because the game is not set up for players to expect unbeatable challenges.

Significant character agency where it matters.

Agency is about more than just being able to make choices in-game. In DnD, you have the ability to make choices that feel situationally impactful. You’ll rarely have a situation where you consistently do everything “right”, roll well, and yet the enemy is entirely unaffected. Your abilities aren’t vague in power level or usefulness -even if you aren’t a particularly creative player, the stuff that’s on your character sheet that you can do is going to be at least moderately useful in most situations a typical game throws at you, even if applied with little finesse.

…

Like I said, I don’t *love* DnD. I’m not super sold on medieval fantasy to begin with, I’m pretty bad at basic number math (I have dyscalculia so this shit is hard for me), and I like supporting indie and less popular titles on principle.

But holy shit.

Can somebody tell TTRPG designers to please make a game that just lets me be cool and win at something?

I want to play a badass vampire! But in Vampire: The Masquerade, that’s kinda… Not Great. I want to be a faux-Victorian era paranormal investigator! But, ehm, Call of Cthulhu? Having my character die or go insane kinda sucks. I like scifi! But everything from Cyberpunk RED to the various iterations of Warhammer 40k RPG is bleak as fuck.

Mörk Borg? Dark and bleak. Candela Obscura? Dark and bleak. The Laundry? Dark and bleak.

(I’m not counting Pathfinder, as it’s basically just DnD with more math and a less straightforward character builder.)

I know I’m only scratching the very top surface of less ubiquitous TTRPGs here, but still. All these relatively well known and oft recommended titles completely fail to capture what makes DnD appealing to me -and I suspect, to many others.

In TTRPG spaces I often see people ask “Why modify and reskin DnD to be (insert aesthetic) if you can play (game designed in that aesthetic)?” And my answer is always the same. Because I want to have the DnD-style success experience, only with (cool aesthetic thing).

I want to play other games! I’m not hung up on medieval fantasy or the d20 system or spell slots or anything! I just… don’t want to play some bottom-feeding cannon fodder character in a Misery Simulator, engage with complex ethics as a game mechanic, run a one-person accountancy department to keep track of tons of scarce resources, have the other players as my de-facto opponents, be faced with challenges my character can’t do anything to overcome, invest hours into building a dude who gets offed in the first encounter, put my time in a game that progressively stacks detriments onto my character to shrink their success chances while the stakes keeps growing, etcetera etcetera.

Just, none of that edgy shit. Life’s plenty edgy already, I just want some easy escapism.

Anyway.

If anyone has recommendations for a TTRPG that sort of matches my list of requirements… I’m all ears. I like most stuff aesthetically tho I’m not super into either pirates or contemporary military as a theme. I also prefer games that don’t employ a gimmick (like jenga blocks, an hourglass, burning candles, etc).

#dnd5e #ttrpg community #ttrpg #indie ttrpg #ttrpg stuff #DnD #tabletop role playing games

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starlightandetherealshadows · 10 months

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You had me at alien, really love the idea. What is the Mc age and what did they do before the invasion?

Hi lovely!

Coming up with the idea for Contra Spem Spiro gave me a newfound appreciation for alien movies. I thought they were pretty cool before, but while doing research and coming up with different plot-points and alien characteristics, aliens are definitely moving up in my scifi/horror rankings.

To answer your question, MC's age is left ambiguous! At the start of the alien invasion/the prologue, MC is a junior in university.

So they're older than 20, but there is no maximum age for people to be university students, so MC's age is ultimately up to you.

In my head and while writing, I headcanon MC to be between 20 and 25, if that helps. Just enough life experience to not be completely hopeless when they have to be independent, but they're still figuring themselves out. Their hopes, dreams, and expectations have been uprooted by the invasion, and things will never go back to "how they used to be."

How MC deals with that revelation is up to you to decide!

I think I mentioned this before so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself a bit , but MC's college major will give a boost to one or two of their skills.

The major choices for MC are (so far):

Biology

Engineering

Political Science

Fine Arts

Communications

Business

English/Literature

In the prologue, you'll get some hints into MC's background and can make some personality choices that'll help you get a feel of what sort of MC you want to play.

I hope this answered your question, my friend. Thank you so much for your support!! ♡ ♡ ♡

All my love,

Cheye 👾

#alien #romance #ask: css #ask: answered #ask: mc

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walks-the-ages · 1 year

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Hey, Archive of Our Own fans!

Are you looking for more ways to help preserve media? Want to make sure reading is accessible to everyone without ads or restrictions?

Then please, please consider donating to the Internet Archive!

Each year, Archive of Our Own far surpasses their donation goal for their fanfiction hosting archive-- let's see if we can't meet or beat that for the original archive, that preserves media that would otherwise be lost, is an open free and accessible online library, and is an absolutely invaluable resource if you are a fan of literally any old media; so many books are completely out of print for scifi series such as Quantum Leap, Star Trek DS9, Babylon 5, etc, and physical copies are sold for hair-raising prices ($100-$500+), and digital copies available to purchase are extremely few and far between.

Some of the Star Trek books have been digitalized as ebooks by Amazon, but none of the Quantum Leap books exist anywhere online as purchasable ebooks, and the only place you can find them is on ebay (for various price points from reasonable to absolutely hilariously outrageous), but they are not available in any accessible format...

Until the Web Archive digitalized them for their Open Library!

Not all of them are available on the web archive yet-- physical copies are donated to the archive and have to be digitalized there, but many are already available that you would otherwise have to shell out $100 or more to scalpers and resellers on ebay, while the original creators never see a cent of the profit (the books originally sold for $6.99 when they were released)

Not only does the Internet Archive preserve books that are decades out of print, but also documentaries, ancient video games and software, live music, and what most people know: The Wayback Machine! The magical tool that preserves defunct or dead websites (or even just to show original posts or articles before they were edited or deleted) for future reference and preservation !

And the web archive is not just for fandom purposes-- live news broadcasts, radio plays, NASA images, public domain audio books for accessibility, movies, podcasts, traditional art backups, and more!~

Do you have old family videos and photos? You can upload them to the archive!

Do you have a family recipe book from your great grandmother? You can upload it to the archive!

Do you like to craft and make crochet or knitting tutorials or patterns? You can upload them to the archive!

So, if you love to read, and you love media preservation, please consider donating if you are able (This is not only available during a set time, they accept donations year round if you want to wait til payday!) and please reblog to signal boost this!

#described images #the internet archive #archive.org #archive of our own #a03 #web archive #large text #waybackmachine #internet archive #signal boost please

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orange-coloredsky · 3 months

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literally no one asked but to me the difference between smth like advent children & crisis core and whats going on with the remasters is.. shit now just feels utterly soulless. to be fair i wasnt old enough to recall anything about advent children's marketing and only just barely remember seeing stuff for crisis core psp, but the works themselves at least feel complete and independent of each other while still feeling grounded in ffvii's narrative. the added characters and plot devices exist to further the plot of the mini-story theyre contained in and nothing more.

is advent children ridiculous? absolutely. it's a confusing, reference bound video game lore movie. but it doesnt feel like its trying so hard to be more than that. its an scifi-fantasy action romp with painfully 2005 music and character designs. the remnants are stupid additional characters but they dont try to seem more important to the wider plot than they are. theyre there to tell the audience "hey, sephiroth's gonna be here soon but not yet", they disappear when sephiroth is on screen and die when sephiroth is killed. its a contained story that ends when the credits roll.

angeal and genesis have been. distorted. over time i feel but in the original crisis core they feel like theyre of similar value. angeal needed to support zack like how zack supported cloud, and sephiroth isnt evil yet so genesis is our major villain. theyre perfectly fine in these roles, they do their job, theyre effective at it and theyre reasonably good characters that (for the most part. side eyes genesis.) dont waste our time. crisis core is a perfectly fine prequel. i had fun with it, i had fun with the characters, and it should have been left alone.

the remasters do something similar but worse -- they fucking bait you over the span of 4 years now instead of over the span of a 2 hr movie or couple dozen hours of a video game. youre hoping to see your favorite character again, maybe this year the cryptic reference they made will be made clear but if not!! you bet your ass in 2030 theres gonna be another $70 game for you to buy to see if that plotline gets resolved! also we're going to post vague clerith for this months twitter announcement to get engagement and arguments going, and then next month we'll post vague cloti to make the arguing worse and keep those eyes on our game that means nothing anymore. but also this is going to be SOOOOOO important and life changing in the narrative so you best not look away! fucking attention span deletion method of telling a story. its sad

#vii #txt #long post

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erdarielthewhumper · 1 year

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Waiting for a rescue

Hi!! Finally got around to writing a lil something for my scifi boys Anthony and Elias again! This one's a bit more environmental whump -ish, so no violence, just otherwise making them have a bad day :D

Written for @whumpers-monthly's December prompt, which is "Frozen" - I hope y'all are okay with hypothermia in general, without actual ice having to be involved? I just got an idea and ran with it, I hope it still fits the prompt!

***

"I got a reply", Anthony said, staring at his console, voice tight. "A ship called Louhetar. A friend, I've ran across her before. Says it'll be anywhere from 72 to 96 hours, but they're on their way."

Elias frowned and beckoned him over. Anthony came, and looked over Elias' shoulder at the meter he pointed at.

"We've got 59 hours of energy left. Systems will go offline then. We won't last 72 hours, much less 96."

"Seal the cargo hold. Confine life support systems to cockpit and living cabin only."

Elias did so. It was a shame about some of the goods in the hold, but none of what they carried was worth their lives. None of the things that would spoil without air or warmth, anyway. They both studied the meters silently.

"65", said Elias, faster at doing the math. "Not good enough."

"Buckle your seatbelt", Anthony replied, returning to his seat and doing the same. "I'll turn the gravity off."

Again the flipping of a switch, another few seconds of silence.

"72 hours. Earliest time Louhetar might arrive at."

Anthony sighed. "I don't trust those odds. I can't think of anything else to turn offline, there's nothing else left but life supports."

Elias pulled up the battered binder of papers that held the Starlady's technical records. He flipped through them for a while, then, finding his page, took a pencil and scribbled for a while on a spare scrap of paper.

"The Lady has thick heat shields", he said at last. "Good old-fashioned physical heat shielding, all around the hull, and thick as anything."

"Which means...?"

"Heat doesn't leech out of the ship as fast, either. It'll leech some, but not all of it immediately. If I turn the heating off now, and we leave only the air recycling and emergency beacon on, we could stretch the energy reserves to last 80 hours, give or take. 83 at best. I think the Lady's heat shielding would keep the warmth in long enough. After that 80 hours, though, I'll say it's even odds if we freeze or suffocate first."

"We do still have those EVA suits", Anthony pointed out. "If they work, anyway. They have independent oxygen and heating, even if it's limited. We suit up at the 80 hour mark, I'll give us another nine to twelve hours."

It was settled. Elias put the commands in. Nothing more to do but wait, now. They left their seats in the cockpit and pulled themselves quietly over to the living cabin, and settled down to do exactly that. Elias picked up his guitar and played for a while, though the lack of gravity made it a little awkward. Anthony chose a book at random and began to read.

---

24 hours in. There hadn't been any noticeable change in temperature as far as Anthony had noticed. No new message from Louhetar or any other ship.

They were eating, now, a simple meal tossed together of whatever they had that required neither cooking to be edible nor gravity to be possible to handle. They had a stash of emergency rations made exactly to those specificatons, and Anthony always made sure to keep that stash filled up, in case of emergencies. The rations tasted like plastic, but they kept well and didn't take up much space, and it was better than going hungry.

The next few hours went quietly. Anthony continued reading his book, Elias just sat and stared at a wall. The silence wasn't uncomfortable; if you weren't comfortable spending hours and days with hardly a word exchanged between you and anyone else, you weren't fit to be a spacer at all. Deep space had a way of stealing the words from a man's lips at time, and it was by no means the first time they'd simply sat together unspeaking for a long time.

---

By the 48 hour mark, they were both feeling the cold. It was not unbearable yet, but it was slowly seeping in and slithering into the cabin.

Elias had taken the blanket off his bed and fastened it like a cloak around his throat with a safety pin, but with the gravity turned off, it floated around him and he had to pull it constantly closer to himself.

Wordlessly, knowing his damned Earthborn's pride kept him from asking for what he needed, Anthony pulled Elias close to himself and wrapped an arm around him, pressing against his side to keep them both warm.

---

At 65 hours, it was painfully clear to both of them that Elias had been wrong. They weren't going to make it to 72 hours, much less 80, like this. Anthony hadn't said a word of blame, but Elias could feel him shivering. He cursed himself. This was not the kind of circumstance where he could afford making mistakes. And yet he had made one. A big one.

"Think it might be time to try if those suits still work?" he asked.

Anthony nodded. "We might as well."

The EVA suits were old, like the Lady itself and most of the gear they had onboard. They were bulky and clumsy, and Anthony and Elias had to help each other suit up. But - thank all the gods - they both did work, warming units slowly waking up to make the temperature within the suits bearable.

Elias dozed off almost as soon as he felt warm again.

---

The batteries on Anthony's suit ran out at 73 hours. The ones on the suit Elias had lasted until 76.

There had been no word from Louhetar since the initial response to their emergency signal.

Elias felt cold all the way to the bone and marrow. Anthony's lips had turned blue. He wasn't even shivering anymore, and seemed to be half-asleep when Elias grabbed his arm.

"Do you think we'll become ghosts?" he asked.

"Maybe", Anthony replied slowly. His speech was slurred, but his lips twitched into a faint grin. "Im'gine that. Us 'nd the Lady, 'nd the et'rn'l black sea."

"Roaming the spaceways, haunting ships, seeking their warmth", Elias continued.

"S'dd'nly a ship goes c'ld, 'n they'll call it the Lady's touch."

Elias let out a hysterical laugh. "Imagine the scare we'll give them. Young spacers will fear us for centuries."

"Old ones'll just grumble. Tell 's we c'n share the warmth but we sh'ldn't steal it."

The communicator in the cockpit beeped. Elias went to see the message; Louhetar was an hour away. They could last another hour, couldn't they? They had to.

Anthony nodded when Elias told him the news, but he said nothing, and seemed barely able to keep his eyes open. Elias pulled him close, gathered him in his arms, despite knowing it would do nothing to ward off the cold anymore. Anthony didn't resist, but then, he never seemed to do. He never seemed to think something given without asking would be a debt to be paid back, and with him, with him only, Elias had learned to accept it, learned to take unasked-for help from Anthony as something freely given, with no strings attached, and so he gave back in the same manner, helped even without Anthony having to ask.

Minutes ticked slowly by. Anthony was totally unresponsive now. That was strange. Surely he shouldn't have been cold anymore? Elias felt so warm, now, almost hot, really, and if the EVA suit hadn't been so clumsy and difficult to take off, he'd have gotten rid of it already, it was so warm.

He was tired, too. And Louhetar was on its way. Surely it would be fine if he slept a little? There was some little part in the back of his head that seemed to think it wasn't a good idea, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out why it wouldn't be. Surely just a short nap would be fine...

#whump #my writing #my ocs #anthony #elias #scifi whump #environmental whump #hypothermia #whump fic #whump oc #whumpers monthly #issue no 11

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quinn10121012 · 7 months

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At long last… ZERO POINT: ISSUE ONE IS NOW AVAILABLE! A 20-page b/w scifi/slice-of-life comic, you can find ZP issue one on my Etsy shop; it’s 25% off for the next week, so if you’d like to support an independent cartoonist and save a couple bucks along the way, go grab yourself a copy while the sale’s still going!

#comic #comics #indie comics #independent comics #sci fi #science fiction #found family #illustration #art #artists on tumblr

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jonathanlamantia · 1 year

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I'm officially having a Black Friday Small Business Saturday Cyber Monday sale. Up to half off select original art and all my sticker packs are on sale! Check it all out on my site!

#ink #art #illustration #horror #drawing #monster #creature #scifi #chicago #support independent creators #black friday #small business #cyber monday

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oldtvandcomics · 8 months

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Not a queer rec, but you know how we keep talking about needing more stories about an optimistic future?

This book is about to come out tomorrow (time stamp: 6/9/3023). It's a collection of short stories about a future where things are slowly getting better. It is the third part in a series.

Like any short story collection, these are not perfect, some stories are always going to be better than others, but they ARE absolutely lovely. And they are independent projects, so you'd be supporting small creators. Also, the people behind them are the same as behind the organization Queer SciFi, so while not every story has queer themes, they are still all very inclusive.

I'm going to tag @hopepunk-humanity, in case they feel like they can use this information for something. Or maybe they have other optimistic scifi that they can add?

#I've got an ARC of the new one #so I can confirm that it's really lovely #I love this series I hope they'll keep making them #unfortunately I won't have it finished by the time it comes out #books #book recs #science fiction #scifi books #hopepunk #short story collection

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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This day in history

#20yrsago Melancholy Elephants: infinite copyright = infocalype https://www.baen.com/chapters/W200011/0671319744___1.htm

#20yrsago WiFi-SciFi: My open spectrum fiction on Salon https://www.salon.com/2003/01/16/liberation_spectrum/

#20yrsago Supreme Court rules against Eldred, Alexandria burns https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eldred_v._Ashcroft

#15yrsago Bruce Sterling’s Kiosk: geniunely 21st century science fiction https://web.archive.org/web/20080115084153/https://www.sfsite.com/fsf/fiction/bs01.htm

#10yrsago Free Freedom of Information Requests, in honor of Aaron Swartz https://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2013/jan/14/aaron-swartz-1986-2013/

#5yrsago Marriott fires employee for “willfully liking” a tweet in support of Tibetan independence https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2128124/marriott-sacks-employee-who-liked-twitter-post-tibet-independence

#5yrsago Playing low frequency noise to disrupt hard-drives: denial of service for CCTVs, data-centers, and other computing environments https://arxiv.org/pdf/1712.07816.pdf

#5yrsago Trump’s new assistant Drug Czar: a 24-year-old campaign volunteer with no experience, in charge of billions to end the opioid epidemic https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/meet-the-24-year-old-trump-campaign-worker-appointed-to-help-lead-the-governments-drug-policy-office/2018/01/13/abdada34-f64e-11e7-91af-31ac729add94_story.html

#5yrsago Inmate, denied health care in an Arizona private prison, chews his own fingers off https://www.newsweek.com/prison-health-care-chewed-fingers-pain-arizona-corizon-780648

#pluralistic

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illgiveyouahint · 2 years

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@nonoggh Yes I can but be aware it is a very rough draft at the moment made for a very specific person. Also, it might not be exactly what you'd want from me since I assume that you know most of these films already.

If you're looking for more of a recommendation of hidden gems etc then I will redirect you to this post I've been updating every pride month for a few years now (which reminds me I totally forgot to do it this year!!!).

Anyway if you're still interested in my list for my friend and my thought process for each choice of film I'm putting it under read more

I'm making this for a friend who is a cis white gay man from Czechia who doesn't really speak english and if anything mostly watched old czech films and shows so I have to start him up slowly. He told me he doesn't want something unrealistic or sad. Also because he doesn't speak english I'm limited to what actually has czech subtitles so I can't play lesser known films.

1. Pride

so I'm starting him with Pride. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like the film. It's so lovely that everyone is charmed by it. However it's also a film that educates you on community, introduces you to solidarity and activism and building of communities and it has a bit of self development storyline in Bromley's story. I thought it to be a safe good story to start on.

1.1 Heartstopper

my friend also wanted some tv shows so I'm gonna also start him on Heartstopper. It's once again a very lovely story, with a really well made bisexual coming out storyline, a cast of diverse characters and hints at future ED problems. It's about friendship and love and I think it's a safe place to start.

2. God's Own Country

the next one I'm probably gonna go with is God's Own Country. My friend has a feel for sort of more working class people so I think he might like this one. It has this sad tint to it but ends happy, so this is sort of testing waters as to whether or not my friend can handle something that's a bit sadder. It also has few naked scenes and i'll see if my friend is okay/into that being portrayed more so i'll know if i can show him some saucier films or if he prefers something milder. It has some great themes of loneliness and intimacy and immigration etc. It's a bit heavier.

2.1 Skam

the next show I'm gonna maybe introduce him to is Skam (season 3). Once again story that has sadder elements but ends up happy. It deals with internalised homophobia, but it also introduces mental illness, has a great support character in Sana, a muslim girl. I can once again get a bit of feel for how well my friend is responding to these types of topics. It's also a first non-british thing I'm gonna show him.

3. Imagine Me & You

Now that I've sort of established some basic gay themes i'm gonna start to push it to the rest of the community. Imagine me & You is still a safe romcom with a happy ending but I can introduce my friend to how we girls don't really have a lot of romcom films

Now I'm gonna take a bit of break with tv shows before introducing him to Sense8, Looking or Pose. I might start slowly showing him Please Like Me to lighten the mood.

4.Brokeback Mountain

Now it's gonna be the first test if my friend is now receptive to something great but sad. I'll try to tell him how sort of groundbreaking was the film at the time and how it is important in queer cinema.

4.1 In a Heartbeat

Played immediately after Brokeback to fix our mood and so that we would stop crying.

5.San Junipero

It's time for something happy again while also a bit unrealistic by having a scifi element.

6. A Fantastic Woman

let's introduce a trans theme. It's a bit more artistic and independent cinema-like so we will see how well my friend will respond. I assume my friend will be curious after this (we do have common trans friends but I think my friend will be interested in the trans people in film element or I will get him interested in it through conversation) so the next film will be

7.Disclosure

First documentary. Let's map out all the trans stereotypes because I have no desire to show my friend these harmful stories.

7.1. Sense8

If my friend is interested, I could at this point introduce him to Sense8.

8.The Way He Looks

Let's get back to something simple and cute with a disability twist.

9. 120BPM

I think at this point we could try it though I think I'd like to get some film that will introduce HIV before this just don't know yet what. While it is technically sad film I found it to be a transcending experience rather than sad experience.

10. Cloudburst

After such a film we need something light and what's lighter than Cloudburst - the film that almost made me pee myself from laughter.

11. Priscilla

once again introducing why this film was so important and impactful. Also it's introducing more of a campy feel which I think my friend will not really like but I need to know how he will respond to it if I want to introduce him some other films.

12. Hannah Gadsby - Nanette

let's talk about trauma.

13. But I'm a cheerleader

if my friend will respond well to priscilla I think I can then introduce him to But I'm a cheerleader.

14. The Miseducation of Cameron Post

to contrast cheerleader. Conversion therapy is a real bitch. I prefer this to the other films about conversion therapy which I feel are leaning so much into the misery porn and often time are not even directed by queer people.

15. Boys

Again going for something lighter and with a happy ending to make this still fun.

16. Carol

talking about the novel and sort of why the vibe of the film is that way and the oppresiveness of the 50s.

17. And then We danced

And how some societies are oppressive to this day. talking about the events surrounding the shooting of this film and it's premiere.

18. Love Simon

in the meantime in America we've reached the time, where a major studio can make a “teen romcom”.

That's about all I've got in terms of timeline. Of course, I'd like to also show Moonlight, Disobedience, Portrait of a Lady on Fire (I'd love to show that with Black Sails but idk if my friend would be into that), Lilting, The Half of It, Lola and the sea, Happy Together, Saving Face, Tomboy, Rafiki, His, How to Survive a Plague, Little Girl, Musí to být bolestivý, Les Invisibles, Zákon Lásky, I carry you with me and many more but it really depends on how my friend will respond to any and all of these and how much I will change this based on what he will like.

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