Everest. Chapter 10.
Series Summary: She was done and retired. After Thanos and after the battle of a lifetime, she had called it quits and had distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep not leaving much room for a no…
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 5300+
A/N: By GOLLY it’s been a while. God bless summer cause I’m pretty sure I touched my personal computer maybe 5 times this last 5 months... But we are back. I’ll keep it short and simple and say, I have ideas for the next chapter and hope to get it out this weekend at some point if not sooner. I love you all and I’m so grateful for you patience:)
Chapter 10:
After dinner, Y/N went back to her room with Wanda, and Ryker stayed in toe behind them.
Her change in disposition was drastic from before Wanda had come. Whether she had used magic or good old-fashioned tough love, neither of the super-soldiers found out, but either way, Y/N was starting an upward hike in the grieving process compared to the week prior.
It wasn't going to be a perfect or strictly linear bounce back from everything as there were still pieces of grieving that needed to take place, but because of the consoling from someone who could relate to her heartbreak, they were headed in the right direction.
"A funeral?" Tony questioned. Not out of disbelief but more so in a tone that showed he hadn't even thought of that. However, his thoughts had been somewhere else lately.
"I think it would be the best way to get that final piece of acceptance in saying goodbye," Wanda nodded, arms crossed as she leaned on the wall.
"No, no. I think it's a great idea," Tony waved off, putting one of his gadgets down before taking a swig of some green juice and then turning back to the redhead. "The only thing is, we don't have a body."
"It's not out of the ordinary to not have a body at a funeral."
"You don't think it wouldn't make it a more sensitive event having no body... Knowing exactly why there isn't a casket to bury..." Tony replied.
"It's a funeral, Tony. Sensitivity is part of the event," Nat spoke up from the wall she was propped against.
"It's about having a ceremonious way of saying goodbye. A place where she can honor Marley and hopefully find some peace in the matter," Wanda sighed. "I think that's what she needs now more than anything."
The other two in the room nodded in agreement and then shared a look.
"Do we let her in on it?" Nat asked.
"I'll plan as much of it as possible for her so that all she really needs to do is show up," Wanda nodded to her friend and crossed her arms. "Can you do a favor for me while I reach out to some people to get some details sorted?" Wanda asked.
"Just let me know, and consider it done."
She sent her a smile in thanks. "I'll text you my ideas. I need to run to the store real fast and then head to my next errand."
"What time are you planning on all this to take place?" Tony questioned, tossing a stress ball back and forth between his hands.
"Tomorrow afternoon if things work out how I hope," Wanda shifted back and forth, already mapping things out in her head.
"What do you need from me?" Tony asked, genuinely wanting to help.
"I'll send out a list to everyone if I think of something specific," she answered, moving to the exit.
"Great. I'll be waiting for my job," Tony shouted as they two left.
____________________
Like the pro she is, Wanda had everything scheduled and planned out by that evening. She and Vis had gotten most of the plan together after learning what had happened, and after gathering further details, she was already in contact with the people she needed to be, in order to follow through with their plan.
She sent Vis and Nat to the florist, knowing that the spy would know exactly what types of flowers and arrangements would be best, along with a list she believed fit Marley. She had Sam, Steve, and Clint on set up at the place where they planned to host the funeral, keeping it simple for a modest gathering. Tony was working on something of his own that he guaranteed to make Y/N feel better. With it, he apparently needed Bruce's help. And Wanda herself went on an out-of-city errand to grab a few things not around the compound.
Everyone at the compound had a job, and everyone else who was close knew when to come.
Oh, and Bucky... Bucky's job was to keep Y/N company. The job he had been waiting on.
Wanda had seen it best for the two to spend some time together. She could see the anxiety and worry he was riddled with upon arriving and realized he had been just as tense as her other friends. And given how secluded Y/N had been, she knew Bucky hadn't really seen for himself how she had been healing and likely needed the reassurance himself after everything.
Besides, Y/N wasn't the only one who endured that heartbreaking day. Bucky had been there and mourned a part of the situation as well, even if he knew Marley for mere minutes before her sacrifice.
On the crisp fall morning, the two had opted to step outside for fresh air after being locked inside for so long. They were out throwing the ball for Ryker and decided to take a walk around the compound.
Today was one of the few moments where Y/N had actually gone out for sunlight since coming home, besides the few times Nat had pushed her to the balcony in her room. Wanda had been there for four days now, and her progression had definitely gotten better, but the ups and downs of coming to terms with losing someone a person loves still made themselves known.
It had been silent the last 10 minutes as they tossed the ball and exercised the energetic and lively rottweiler. It hadn't been awkward or uncomfortable silence. No. It was more of a needed silence before the inevitable conversation came up.
However, to Bucky's surprise, Y/N was the first to talk.
"How are you?" she asked, picking up the slobbered tennis ball and throwing it a normal distance, considering she hadn't shown any sign of her powers since they'd gotten back to the compound.
Wanda had mentioned she had kept them at bay in times like this. She had said quietly to him like it was a secret that it made Y/N feel more human. And the escape, even if a small choice in itself, of separating herself from the powers that tend to hurt more than help in these high emotional times was something she'd rather not be reminded of.
Bucky hadn't thought about it like that, though. Her powers brought great pros in her life and to those around her, but in feeling emotions as high as Y/N likely had, given such gifts, he could see going on strike from the one thing that is hurting you in the grieving process as a sense of control over it.
He furrowed an eyebrow at the question and looked at her from the side.
"Don't act shocked that I'm asking you," she chuckled quietly under her breath, brushing off her hands and still looking forward.
"I'm doing ok," he answered after a few seconds.
"This again?" she laughed, and the sound caught him off guard with how authentic it was. "I thought we got past the simple sentence answers." He couldn't help the smile at the memory of being called out during their first meeting at her house, where she had pinpointed him for the same thing.
"May be a simple sentence, but it's not far from the truth," he shrugged, hands in his pockets as they walked.
"Does that mean it's not close to it either?" she hummed, and he watched her give him a side glance before a small smirk marked her lips. "I'm a human lie detector, Bucky. Energy shifts at everything, and I can't really get away from it even if I try. And trust me, I've tried..."
He nodded, thinking back to Wanda's recent comment on her annoyance with her power, and decided not to question her admittance and that also she was right. They had grown closer than that in the short time together, and his simple answers weren't needed as an extra protection measure anymore.
"It was worrying..." he replied simply because he let her feel the emotion instead of hearing it.
She bobbed her head up and down softly as she could sense just what all he meant in the three words, and knowing she didn't need to ask for details, considering she was the one to put him in that state.
Her veiling, she had explained she used to keep her emotions from affecting others, wasn't held up as well lately, and he could feel the guilt fog around her.
His answer wasn't meant to evoke that feeling from her, but he realized she'd feel it whether he wanted her to or not. He wasn't sure how to approach it and assure her he had welcomed the worry because it was her. He was empathetic toward her, and he wasn't bothered by the emotion like she was likely convincing herself that he was.
"There are pros and cons to having people you care about in times like these," she paused in her step, and he mimicked her. "Obviously, more pros and honestly only one con, but it's such a big one; it weighs more on a person's shoulder."
"What's that?" he asked after she paused, picking up Ryker's ball he had returned and then threw it a decent distance.
"Your grief starts to leak into others' lives. You want to hoard it for yourself, not let anyone touch it with a ten-foot pole if you can help it, but at the same time, it's their compassion to give."
She was talking about how her groveling affected others when she was the only one she felt responsible for holding onto it. Yet she made the point he would have in saying it was their sympathy and compassionate worry to give away.
"Being alone makes it easier," she sighed, looking at the manicured yet dry grass from the season in front of her before moving to sit gracefully in the field as Ryker pranced back to them leisurely. "In the sense you don't have to think about others looking out for you in a way you know will hurt them too."
"Choices are a crazy yet vital thing in a human's life," Bucky countered, getting a glance from her before she nodded in agreement.
That damn word had been haunting her the last week more than it had her whole life somehow. Choices.
Before the conversation could take too much of a sad turn, Ryker walked in front of Bucky, looking at Y/N for a moment before dropping the ball in front of the soldier to throw this time.
"I think he likes your throwing arm better than mine," she smiled softly, and Bucky looked down at her in the grass, shocked that Ryker, with Y/N right next to him, had gone to him. "That and maybe just you in general since I've been a lousy pet owner the last couple of weeks."
"Trust me, his loyalty is still yours," Bucky laughed, taking the ball and chunking it a considerably longer distance than Y/N had the energy to do.
The black and copper-furred canine barked in appreciation before sprinting off like his life depended on getting the ball as fast as possible.
"I know I've said it a million times, but I really do appreciate you taking care of him while I was in my stupor," she sighed in an exhausted way before leaning back on her hands, welcoming the pricking of the dead grass on her palms. "More than you can imagine."
"As I've said before, I'm happy to do it. He's a great companion to have," Bucky hummed, sitting a hand touch away from her. He pulled his knees up and placed his arms across the top of them as they both watched Ryker get the ball and shake it violently back and forth a few times before running back to them.
"He likes you a lot, and he's not trusting to most," Y/N smiled to her four-legged friend. "I mean, I may be a little worried he likes you more than me at this point," she chuckled softly, picking at the ground with her fingers mindlessly.
"I highly doubt that. I don't think I can beat you out after maybe a month of knowing him," Bucky chuckled.
"He is very particular about people, much like me," Y/N shrugged, throwing a tiny weed to the side and going for another one. Bucky watched as she dug into the ground gently without a care of the dirt getting under her nails. "I can tell. His energy is very trustful and empathetic toward you."
"He's a good dog- a great dog," was the only way Bucky knew how to take the compliment. He knew what she was saying meant a lot to her and her pet. But he had never gotten better at taking kind words with grace, even with his extra time on earth.
"He's been through hell and back. So yeah, he's perfect considering what he could have become."
Bucky's forehead crinkled at her comment, and he turned to her as Rkyer took a moment to roll in the grass, grunting happily. He remembered after their first real conversation, Y/N mentioned that he was older, but she had never really gone into his past.
"How old is he again?" Bucky tried to question casually.
Y/N let out a genuine, yet short, laugh at that. When she saw the honest confusion on his face, her smile changed to surprise.
"I thought I told you-? Did I not tell you where I found him?" she asked, peering up at him through her lashes, getting a slow shake of his head in answer. "Huh, well, it's an interesting tidbit of an origin." Ryker pranced to the two with overwhelming joy, and she patted his head as he sat and panted from his sprinting before laying down and looking out at the landscape with them. "I don't have an exact timestamp, but from what we've been able to deduct, he's at least 50 years old."
There was silence. No instant reaction. Just silence. When she turned to Bucky, he was dead, staring at her with a straight face.
"No, I'm not joking, and yes, I said 50... The big 5-0," she nodded, already knowing what question would come as almost everyone had the same reaction.
A few minutes passed, and Ryker was already jumping up and grabbing the ball to continue his play. But Y/N patted her leg, and he moved to roll into her lap, showing his belly and waiting for scratches from his owner. The neon green ball never left his mouth.
As Y/N waited patiently for Bucky to return to reality, she sat scratching and loving on the black and brown dog, making up for the time she hadn't in the last week.
"H-How?"
"I really never told you the story?"
"I feel like I would have remembered."
"I guess you're right," she shrugged with a giggle, taking the ball from Ryker's mouth and handing it to Bucky to throw when the dog had sat back up energetically. "I found him on one of my missions in the late 70s. I infiltrated an experimentation lab. Funny how 50-some-odd years later, and they never seem to die off," she huffed out in annoyance. "Hell, we both know they were around way before the '70s, but that's beside the point. The building was vacated, but I could tell there were other energy sources around the place. A shed about half a kilometer from the facility and hidden in the dredge of a dying wood, there were other experiments I hadn't been aware of."
Bucky watched as she retold the story. The process of distracting her from her present issues was helpful.
"I was working alone at the time. I had secretly led a small military force to the lab by giving them clues at their campsite. They had no idea it was even me who was pointing them in that direction since I was still trying to stay under the radar. Anyway, as they were arresting and wrapping up their newfound gift, I stayed hidden in some trees far enough away not to be seen. My position was close enough to the shed to feel the vibrations of another life force around me. I sought it out and found cats, rabbits, snakes, and rats. A weird amount of exotic pets. But there was one cell in a contained area that was more closed off and locked down than the others. It didn't take me more than ten seconds to break through the barricade they had made around it, and inside, I found an adolescent pup. Confused, terrified, and alone."
When she looked at Ryker, already walking back up to them, he stopped and came over to lick her face. What Bucky believed was to comfort her in knowing he wasn't in that situation anymore. As long as he was by her side, he wouldn't have to worry about being put back into that situation ever again. That's the amount of love and trust he had for her.
"Love you too, Ryk," Y/N laughed, kissing the top of his head. Bucky knew they communicated silently as the two were likely bonded in ways others would never understand. "Long story short, I got him out, but not until I got him to believe I was there to help him. It took some time for him to fully trust me, given his history was likely violent and abusive, but we made it out."
"Did you ever figure out why he was there or what the extra protection was for?" Bucky asked.
"I hacked into the military file they later wrote for the mission and learned humans weren't the only things being experimented on. And unfortunately, this was when I was somewhat coming back from a long working hiatus, so I was rusty when it came to taking careful precautions while on the job..."
"What do you mean?" he dragged out, confused.
"He wasn't the only animal that came out of their power tapped out. I led breadcrumbs to the shed after I got Ryker out, and the file informed me that there were other animals that certain people should have been given clearance to handle. There still might be a few teleporting rabbits out there..."
"How-Why didn't I- There are teleporting rabbits?"
"That's beside the point," she waved off casually.
"Is it?" Bucky said, turning his head to the side in stupefaction, but she kept explaining.
"I was starting to think he was one of the few that wasn't experimented on, considering he wasn't showing any signs of mutations, but his cage was the only thing keeping me from believing that fully. I later learned he just hadn't chosen to exhibit the mutations."
"What caused the trigger?" Bucky asked, knowing how the science of it all worked.
"Some sketchy guy on a walk decided to take advantage of what he thought was a young, defenseless girl and her puppy. I didn't even get a chance to show him he made an ill decision before Ryker stepped up." She was patting Ryker's head, and Bucky turned his attention to the dog, who was closing his eyes and smiling at the affection. "Wanna show him, Ryk?" He perked at that and quickly stood, wagging his stubbed tail as he looked between the two, waiting for further command. "Go on. We got the space," she gestured to him to go further out in the field.
Ryker sent one more questioning look before his ears went back in excitement. He pranced about 15 feet out into the field and then looked one more time for confirmation. Y/N laughed before yelling out a foreign word similar to one he remembered her whispering on the farm.
Said code word got a bark from Ryker before the next thing Bucky knew, the dog's face was hanging over him.
And no... Not his normal-sized face. His head was now ten times the average size, if not more. Bucky had leaned back into the grass as the dog's body hovered over him after becoming the size of a bus or two.
Many words tried to come out, but all that he could manage to let escape was a gasp and a choked grunt as he looked up with huge eyes on the giant.
"Yeah, he gets big," Y/N smiled up at him with pride, and Bucky looked at her for a moment, seeing no sense of shock, though why would she? He just couldn't quite believe it himself.
"Oh, and this." She sat up and walked over to his leg. Again, she said something in another language. On command, Ryker brought one of his giant paws up and stomped it showing he received the command. "Come here," she motioned to Bucky.
"Why?" he asked nervously, still stuck in his posture from shrinking back as Clifford the Big Copper dog appeared before him. It wasn't nerves as much as it was pure shock from the fact the dog he had been taking care of the last week had superpowers the whole time.
"Come on. Just trust me," she waved him on, a gleeful smile, one he hadn't seen in a while, on her face. She moved to offer her hand when she saw his hesitance. "He won't bite. Trust me if he wanted to, he would have already."
Bucky slowly took her hand and stood up. But she didn't let it go until they were standing next to Ryker's leg, which was now as tall as a flag pole. He scanned the limb, but it looked no different outside of its size, then he looked back at her.
"It's big," he said simply as if that was all he could fathom to get out.
"Punch him," Y/N replied without any sense of apprehension.
"Pardon?" Bucky froze in his spot at her words.
"Hit him. With your metal arm, too," she restated.
"I'm not going to-. Y/N. Why would you want me to hit him?"
"Ugh, no one ever takes the first shot," she rolled her eyes before smiling slyly. "Just kidding, that was a test. Thanks for not punching my dog."
"What if I had?" Bucky asked with a confused and alarmed look.
"I knew you wouldn't. I can tell. There are people who would jump at the chance, usually with bad souls. Then there are people that look at me like I'm crazy, much like you just did and those are the people I actually let into my life. I've weeded out some bad agents with that one," she winked.
"But," he started, still concerned she was asking and risking such a thing.
"Don't worry. I'm not a sadist. I wouldn't ask such a thing without knowing nothing would have happened." She went over and patted the side of Ryker's leg. "Watch," she gestured for the brunette to come closer. He hesitated a little longer this time. "I'm not going to make you do anything outlandish, I promise. Just come pet him."
At a slow pace, he walked over to the side of Ryker's leg she was standing by and began to pet him. Nothing crazy happened.
"Nunc, Ryker," she commanded in Latin.
Just as Bucky's hand went to pet the fur, all his weight fell forward as plunged into the side of Ryker. His foot hadn't moved from his spot, but Bucky's body began to fall through where the leg was standing strong. Y/N grabbed his arm, pulling upright before he could face plant into the ground.
"What just-"
"He can change his density," Y/N summed up instantly. "Like Vision."
"So I just-," Bucky examined his hand when he pulled it back.
"Went through him? Yeah. He thinned out his particles. Or something like that. I don't know. Banner tried to explain it and it got complicated." She said another command that had Ryker returning to normal density and patted him a few more times, showing he was solid again. "Which is why if you ended up punching him, it would likely leave a scratch on those vibranium knuckles of yours."
"Stronger than vibranium?" Bucky said, impressed.
"Well, I haven't voluntarily hit him with Steve's shield ever, so I'm not hundred percent sure, but from the lab test Bruce has run on him, he's able to adjust to the density of whatever he's fighting. It's an adaptation mutation."
"I can see that," he said as he tapped the dog's leg, which was rock solid now. Like tapping the side of a mountain. "Huh... You have a superhero dog."
"He's my mutant mutt. That's what I call him," she smiled before saying a few more words in the dead language, and the giant dog went back to normal size.
Bucky took a step back at the change and looked from the dog to Y/N with huge eyes.
"Well... I'm going to have to adjust to that new knowledge," he hummed slowly as Ryker came up and nudged his hands for pets as if the newfound science wasn't astonishing in the least. "Makes a lot more sense why you have a pet, considering the job."
"Yeah, being away from the farm full of ordinary animals is more work than I'd care to worry about if I decided to jump back into this life full-time again," Y/N sighed, patting Ryker's head as he moved to stand between the two.
There was a moment of silence before Bucky chuckled and then squatted down to ruffle Ryker's head. Exuding to the pet that he wasn't scared but, in fact, impressed by the guard dog's talent.
"Now you know why it was so important to me that someone was taking care of him. It's not often, or really ever, that I can't make time for him, so again. Thank you," Y/N said a moment later. "For taking care of him when I couldn't. In doing that, you took care of me as well."
Bucky looked up at Y/N with kind eyes, seeing similar ones on him, but also with a hint of sincerity.
"It's nothing-" he started.
"It's most definitely something," she cut him off. "No one has to do anything in this world. As we mentioned earlier, everything anyone does is 100% a choice. And you decided to care for a practical stranger's dog without hesitance, while she mopped around dramatically like a dead person waiting to be resurrected..."
The last parts were said with a hint of anger at the process of her grieving.
"Y/N, how a person grieves isn't about dramatics. It's unique. Every person has a different way of coping and processing loss. You can't give it a level of how dramatic a person is when dealing with it," he relayed with concern as he stood back up to her height. "And you know for a fact that anyone in that building would drop everything in a heartbeat to pull you out of any kind of pit you find yourself in."
"Yes, I know, but-"
"Stop. Don't even finish that sentence. Let people take care of you if they want to," he said simply, grabbing both of her shoulders in his hands and stepping with only a few inches between them. "It's something that's taken me years to allow myself, but it's served me so much good when I put my guard down and allow people to care for me. You aren't any different. You deserve that same kind of care."
She looked up at him and processed his words. It looked as though they had a new meaning to her, and the wisdom she likely had already known had hit her in a way she had been too stubborn to allow up to this point.
She opened her mouth to say something back to him, and he couldn't help but move his eyes down to the movement before they were cut off by another voice.
"Hey, you two," Nat interrupted with a smirk on her lips. "Good to see you getting some vitamin D and fresh air," she walked towards the two, and Ryker barked as he ran after her, jumping slightly for attention before she laughed and gave it. "Mind if I borrow Y/N for a moment? I have some things I need to go over with her."
Bucky turned back to Y/N to see her still staring at him with a slight color on her cheek. She turned to Nat before he could think any further about the change in energy, and she nodded, walking to her. "Everything ok?" she asked gently, and Nat nodded before motioning her to walk with her.
Bucky watched the three move towards the compound again and decided not to eavesdrop on their conversation but instead wade back until they were back inside. He could use a few extra minutes outside with the cool air to ground him.
______________________
"You better not be saying I stink," she glared at Nat, even if it held no hostility.
"Not what I'm saying at all," Nat chuckled, guiding her to the bathroom in her room. "Just take a shower. Don't even worry about washing your hair if you don't want to. I can style it later. I laid out a dress for you when you get out. You choose if you want makeup or not. Then we are meeting the team downstairs for something and-"
"Nat, hold on a minute. Slow down. What's going on?" she stopped where Nat had pushed her to the shower door.
"Just trust me. That's all I ask," she replied with a genuine smile. "I put the sugar scrub you made and sent to me a while back on the shelf. Use that if you want."
After that, she shut the door and left Y/N to herself.
_______________________
"Anything else you need help with, Wands?" Clint asked just as she was about to open the door to Y/N's room.
"Is everyone ready at the location?" she replied, pulling her hand away from the knob.
"We're the last ones to go. The car's downstairs ready for us," he nodded.
"Then you've done enough. Thank you again, Clint," she smiled.
"Anything for you girls. I'll be downstairs when she's ready," he winked and turned back to the foyer.
Quietly coming in, Nat was sitting on her phone on the bed, and the light under the bathroom doorway showed Y/N was wrapping up inside.
"Do you think she caught on to our plan?" Wanda whispered.
"I feel like with her intuition and the dress I picked out, she'll put two and two together pretty quickly," Nat shrugged. "But, she hasn't come out yet, so I'm not certain."
Wanda took in a breath and nodded, slowly walking up to the door. She channeled in some and could feel Y/N's sadness. It was strong but different from the first day she came.
"Y/N?" she gently knocked on the door with the tips of her knuckles. She looked back worriedly to Nat, who was biting her lip, waiting for the unknown outcome as well. "Can I come in?"
There was a pause, and right before Wanda moved to turn the knob, it slowly creaked open, and Y/N stood in the doorway.
Her face was the slightest bit red from fresh tears being shed, yet there were no watermarks along her face. She must have cleaned them up before the girls saw.
"Hey," Wanda said with a reassuring smile. Then she could tell. Y/N's look and energy alone told that she knew what was going on. No need to look in her head. "Are you ready?" she asked in a tender tone.
Y/N slowly bit her lip in an attempt to keep the new tears from escaping so soon. Then she took a deep breath and nodded.
Wanda offered her hand and she took it with a thankful smile. As they started walking to the door, Nat opened it for them and lent her arm to Y/N.
The two flanking her side like the pillars they were for her. Both were there for moral and emotional support, and every other type of support a person can lend, plus some.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but when you have friends like she had, it makes it seem somewhat possible.
TAGS:
Everest Tags: (if I missed you in tags, comment on this chapter to let me know:)
@ginger-swag-rapunzel @annazierden
Marvel Tags:
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My Lovelies forever:
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Bucky Barnes Tags:
@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu @enchantedbarnes
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