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justa-moth · 8 months

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this is an incredibly niche thing that will appeal to maybe like one other jrwi fan, but:

what crew i think various riptide characters would be on if they were tech theatre kids

because why not :]

Jay: - oh Set Crew for SURE dude - shes the head carpenter - she knows how to use every tool in the shop - she's the one helping the newbies learn said tools - she'll yell at you to be safe but also do the worlds most unsafe things - she probably gets thrown on fly rail alot and is bitter about it because she'd rather move stuff on stage

Chip: - Set - Now he might not be great at it - but he would just really enjoy using the power tools - (and Jay would be on his ass about it constantly because he is Not safe like at ALL) - he probably gets put on like the super heavy set piece for a scene change and will do nothing but complain about it

Gillion: - ok this one was hard - i dont think hes set crew - but i do think hes usually been crowned the official Heavy Set Piece Mover - just because hes the theatres resident Strong Man - honestly i think he's scared of most of the power tools tbh jhkfsdjhk - he's probably just general stage crew, aka just the jack of all trades guy that any of the crews can use if they need an extra hand - (however he never helps any of the crews that require like a steady hand, like makeup, costume, or props, just bc of how big and clunky he is hjkfsdjkh)

Queen: - probably props or makeup/costume - theyre utterly terrified of ANY power tools and will avoid the shop like the PLAGUE - she probably really enjoy just sitting and working on small details for props while they blare music - (she is also the person in the theatre with the BEST music tastes, literally the best rehearsal playlist) - you look away from queen for maybe an hour and he will come back with the most intricate and beautifully designed prop - and it ends up having maybe 5 seconds of screen time and will have to get deconstructed once shows over

Gryffon: - okay so he's the guy that everyone thought would be the resident strong man when he joined the theatre. - and while technically he is, this poor man finds a way to break fucking anything - working on a set piece? it will crumble when he walks in the room. - working on lighting? they lamps will explode - he's the murphys law man. if anything could go wrong, it Will if he's in the room - its gotten to the point where every show the theatre does a ritual to the Theatre Gods in hopes that gryffon's powers of Pure Destruction may be nullified long enough for them to actually get shit done - he probably just gets put on fly rail because thats the only thing he hasn't managed to break

Alphonze: - Lighting / Sound for SURE - i would trust this man to operate the board - he's literally a god at programming cues, hes always on time - he cuts the mic out the SECOND the actor leaves the stage, he gets mic problems fixed INSTANTLY - if somethings wrong with a light, he IMMEDITAELY knows how to fix it - he is essentially the Antichrist to gryffon's destructive power - its the Theatre Superstition that if Alphonze and Gryffon are in the same room for too long it'll cause a singularity

Lizzie: - Set or maybe even Stage Manager - she's probably stage manager, but like only hangs out with techies - because being in the room with the cast and their songs for too long makes her just actually wanna die - shes super chill, but then tech week hits and she means BUISNESS - her ass gets things DONE - they could be in any stage of the creative process, and lizzie will find a way to speedrun it in the best and most efficient way possible

Caspian: - Makeup / Costume - like i imagine him helping people do their makeup in the dressing rooms before show - he would also be that one poor head costume manager helping the main character with the worlds most stressful quick change - or the poor mf who has to speed safety pin someones clothes together because it ripped mid performance

Marshal John: - literally THE set guy, aside from Jay - you need something heavy moved quickly? get john - power tools broken? get john - literally any problem that could easily be solved by a Big Strong Man? john. - he, like gillion, is the other Resident Strong Guy - however all prop people know to never get NEAR him, because this poor man has a way of literally just breathing on a prop and causing it to shatter - he's just big and clunky and can't handle delicate things

Drey and Finn: - the resident Uncles of the theatre - they don't work there - but theyre there to support their Kids TM - drey probably donates random pieces of furniture to the set department - and finn makes BANGER meals for the crew when it gets closer to performance - and they work like 12+ hours without eating - finn will MAKE SURE these poor kids get their nutriants

Earl: - in the same vein, he's also just one of the resident Uncles - once before a performance earl didn't make them juice - and literally Everything went wrong - so now everyone is convinced that Earl's juice is Magical and Blessed - and if the theatre doesn't get blessed by his juice, everyone fears for their life - Earl uses this to his advantage, and will actively threaten people to drink his juice by saying like "if you don't drink this i'll make sure that chandelier breaks right before the finale!!" - and the poor set crew kids just start SWEATING

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palmtreepalmtree · 1 month

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I also want to note, my mom already encountered a dinner party where they did this thing (bringing photos of someone you wish you could bring with you but you can't), and she and I both agreed she should not take a photo of my dad. She was like, 'I do not want to be a cliche widow,' so she brought a photo of Sarah Silverman, and half the people at the dinner didn't even know who that was.

#widows really can't win in social situations #i'm aggravated this morning #i have a lot of complaints #stored up from the weekend #strap in #it's gonna be a bumpy ride

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lousydrawingsforgoodpeople · 1 year

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thx tom

#life #dog #blue #too lifey #strap in #quotes from friends #doodles #bad art #lousy drawings #doodle #positivity #self love #healing #recovery

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finchlikethefuckingbird · 8 months

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i’m gonna admits it i has crutchie’s bracelet making kit i gave it him back in fairness but he’s still angry at me how’s i make him not angry??

@cigar-stealing-redhead please i’s running out of ideas here

#first finch post #strap in #finch newsies

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jaynovz · 8 months

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Moodboard for Charles Town AU aka the only way out is way down

Fic Playlist

[image id: a collage of Black Sails stills and other photos arranged into a moodboard.

includes photos of: a historical etching of the great curtain wall of Charles Town; Captain Flint wearing a heavy iron collar; a black and white fullbody promo shot of Miranda Barlow; an overview of Charles Town square complete with the platform for Flint's trial; the rafters of a barn; Silver and Flint standing next to each other in a dark room, Silver in the lead looking nervous; Vane looming over Silver and holding a knife to his throat; a horse and carriage; Colonel Rhett holding a smoking pistol; Peter Ashe in his house standing next to the grandfather clock; Charles Town viewed from a distance, completely ablaze; the Gentileschi painting Judith slaying Holofernes depicting two women holding down and beheading a man. /end id] --

“Charles Town is sleeping with one eye open and a knife under its pillow tonight. Any one of us sets foot on that sand absent an engraved invitation from the governor is likely to greet the sunrise swinging. We arrived on this ship. Until and unless Captain Flint is successful in his endeavor, this ship is the only way we leave here alive.”

Silver's own words come back to him, resounding in his skull like a tolled bell, far louder than when he delivered them the day before. Infiltrating the pirate-panicked town will be no mean feat—its denizens are wary, shaking and wild-eyed at the very idea of fanged monsters anchored just outside the harbor. --

An alternate canon take where, instead of Vane, Silver goes to Charles Town to rescue Flint. Hijinks ensue.

(2/13 Chapters Completed)

#LOOK I MADE MY CHARLES TOWN AU MOODBOARD FINALLY #action adventure novel is a go #gonna be working on this baby for the rest of the year at least lol #strap in #my moodboards #my edits #black sails #silverflint #my writing #charles town au #my playlists

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my-cabbages-gorl · 15 days

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Chapter 3 of Bewitched is up!

For those of you following along, Beckoned, chapter 3 of Bewitched is up!

Bewitched is an ongoing aged-up Zukaang multichapter fic.

In the last ten years since the war, Zuko and Aang’s friendship as world leaders transformed into something unexpectedly intimate. Now that Zuko is of traditional marrying age and under pressure to find an appropriate wife and secure an heir, Aang opens the door to the unspoken between them.

Rating: Whole fic is Explicit, this one is T to M, somewhere in there hahh

Tags: angsty betrothal exploration, unrequited love, Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Aged-Up Characters, Post-Canon, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Aang's 22 & Zuko's 26 ***

Golden sunlight sprawled itself restlessly across Aang’s tangerine-clad form- seated, for a moment, atop the crimson clay tiles of the palace roof. Hidden above the eaves, he flattened a palm against the shingle beneath him. If a thread connected them now- cutting through the ceiling- they were still so close. Was he pacing, wading through the pooling regret over what they’d done? Was he reviewing the capital city plans, snapping back to resuming his obligations as if this were any other morning?

It was the not knowing that labored Aang’s breath.

Resting his elbows atop his knees, he shut his eyes against the light of the invasive new day- blaring formidably against his attempt at a moment alone with the crisp memory of Zuko- stripped of duty and fully surrendered.

He pressed his fingers gently to his lips, inhaling a deep drink of morning air and with it, the truth. He opened his eyes to a blurry Fire Nation sunrise- a magnificent kaleidoscope of rosy copper glittering through his tears.

Being the Avatar meant making the right decision- or trying at least. In the aftermath of a reckless choice, his shoulders sagged with the weight of responsibility. Like a melody that pesters its way into every silence, one question plagued him mercilessly. What have I done?

Finish reading on Ao3

#this ones a DOOZY #strap in #zukaang fic #zukaang #atla fanfic #my writing #my fic #aged up zukaang

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aquidragon · 2 years

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it’s not that difficult [part 1/?]

Leon Kennedy x Reader Series Summary: You’re a freshly hired intern for the DSO, working directly under special agent Leon S. Kennedy as his personal assistant. Things seem to go well at first, but things quickly take an interesting turn...

Content Warning(s): none for this part, but there will be darker topics starting in part two, so be warned! Rating: E (no smut in this chapter, but there will be nsfw in later parts, so minors DNI NOW!!) Word Count: 1952

---

“Fuck, I’m going to be late!”

You almost tripped over your heels as you sped through the smooth floor of the DSO building, apologizing breathlessly to passersby that you had accidentally bumped into. Your right hand held tightly onto your briefcase, as your left hand tugged down the pencil skirt that kept threatening to ride up your thigh as you ran.

Today was the first day of your internship for the DSO, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work for a somewhat secretive government organization. Your heart buzzed with excitement as you continued your dash to your new boss’ office, ready to pick up your ID badge and begin your first day of work.

What you weren’t expecting, however, was barreling into a solid surface at a dashing speed. The suitcase you were holding flew out of your hand, spilling its contents across the tile flooring, as you stumble forward.

What you thought was a poorly-placed support beam, was a person. Your body was pressed against his, in an awkward position on the floor, making your face heat up. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” You shot up to your feet, offering the man a helpful hand.

The blonde smiled, small dimples forming on his cheeks as he takes it, pulling himself up to his feet. “It’s alright, I wasn’t paying attention.” He shrugged his broad shoulders.

You tear your eyes from the perfect curve of hispectorall muscles through his tight, black turtleneck. Looking up to make eye contact with the stranger, connecting with intense blue irises.

As if colliding with a stranger was bad enough, but colliding with a gorgeous stranger made things a lot worse. You laugh anxiously as you begin to pick up the papers that are scattered across the hallway, shoving them absentmindedly into your leather briefcase.

“No it’s my fault,” you insisted, “I was running in the hallway.”

This makes the stranger chuckle, shaking his head as he hands you the last sheet of paper that was lost from your bag. “I’m sure it was for a good reason, then.” He pauses for a moment, a considerate expression morphing across his angular face. “Leon Scott Kennedy, you?”

You blanch as soon as he introduces himself, taking his hand and shaking it grimly. “Y/N L/N, I-uh intern in your department, I think.” You squeak, embarrassment creeping into the darkest corner of your mind.

“The intern?” Leon asks, eyebrows shooting up his forehead in surprise. “You work for me then.”

If you could wish for any superpower in the world, you would wish for the ability to shrink into a microscopic size.

“Y-Yeah, I was heading to your office.”

Your newfound boss smirks, shoving his hands in his pocket, where you finally notice his badge perched on his belt. “Well, it looks like we collided right on time.” He shows you his watch, making you peer closer.

8:00 AM

You managed to run into Leon Kennedy right on time, you weren’t late after all. This makes you sigh in relief, your shoulders slumping as you think the heavens for your luck. What were the odds? They were most certainly in your favor this morning, perhaps it was fate looking out for you.

This time.

“Com’on, I have some things I have to show you.” Agent Kennedy nods his head towards your office, gesturing for you to follow him. As he walks, he starts to tell you about himself. “As I’m sure you already know, princess, I’m one of the President’s hand-picked agents.”

He clears his throat, shrugging his shoulders as if it wasn’t an impressive feat. “I’m known around here mostly for, uh, two things.”

You furrow your eyebrows, curiosity forming on your tongue. “Two things?”

Your blonde boss nods, azure eyes focused forward, not looking over to you. “The first one is currently classified, but the second one isn’t for DSO interns. I’m the agent who rescued President Graham's daughter, I actually returned from my mission two days ago.”

You blinked, “I’m interning for a high-ranking DSO agent? How did I manage that?” You smile at Leon, who laughs at your astonishment.

“Your resume must have been impressive since another agent chose you for me.” He looks at you, eyes scanning your entire silhouette from head to toe. “It seems that she chose well.”

All the heat in your body rises to your face, as you advert your gaze, trying to hide your flustered expression. “T-Thank you, Mister Kennedy.”

Leon makes a face at the use of his name alongside a title but doesn’t say anything about it. His office is tucked away in a nice location of the building, on the right side, his last name is carved into a golden plaque above the wooden door.

“As I’m sure you know, this is my office. You’ll be spending most of your time here.” He sniffs, unlocking the silver doorknob and pushing the door open with his foot.

You follow him inside, the walls are almost stark white, with little decoration along the walls. The only furniture to be seen as a single bookshelf, a half-dead plant, a large oak desk, and two chairs. You assumed that the agent didn’t have any qualifications in interior design, not like you were expecting a beautiful office.

“Sorry it isn’t much, you should see my apartment.” Leon flicks on the lights, with the quiet buzzing of fluorescent lights coming to life. “You can decorate it as much as you want, I’m rarely in here anyway.”

You nod along to his words, internally planning the fairy lights and decorations that you planned to bring in with you the next day. “What will by duties be? Agent Hunnigan told me that I would be mostly filing paperwork.”

He makes an affirmative sound, back facing you as he looks down at the stack of files on his desk. “I’m a bit, behind, on my paperwork. The President keeps me on my toes, I hardly have time to do my own office work.” His voice is saturated with exhaustion. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to be too strict with you.” Leon turns around, sitting on the surface of his desk, looking at you with a friendly smile-smirk. “Just make the deadlines, with little mistakes and you’ll do great as my intern.”

You smile at him, and any stress left in your body began to melt off. However, the smile doesn’t last long as your boss frowns. The bags under his eyes are dark, and his ash-blonde hair is messy, and you finally notice the fresh scar on his cheek.

Truth be told, you had never seen a man seem more exhausted in your life.

“Are you alright?” You ask, biting the inside of your lip, a bit afraid to overstep boundaries. He was your boss, and a stranger; it felt weird to be personal with him.

Leon looks at you, head tilted slightly as he uses his hands to support himself on the desk, his nostrils flaring slightly. “I’m fine.” He responds gruffly, after a moment of hesitation. “What perfume are you wearing? It smells nice.”

Odd question, but alright.

“O-Oh it’s a scent I’ve had for a couple of years, I got it for my birthday, but I’m not sure what brand it is. I just know it was expensive.” You stutter out, watching as intense, almost glowing blue eyes watch your every move.

“I see.” Your boss says simply, fingers twitching. “Sorry, I’m pretty tired, I’m just spouting words from my ass.” He slides off the desk, body language somewhat rigid. “I’m going to the restroom, make yourself comfortable, I’ll be back in a moment.”

Before you could voice your understanding, the blonde quickly slips out of the office, briskly slamming the door shut behind him. You watch him leave with a puzzled expression, trying to piece together his erratic behavior.

How odd.

You exhaled deeply, setting your briefcase down on the large desk, the silence of the small room started to creep in. You studied the mess of papers and objects on the smooth oak surface, spotting a single picture frame. A thin crack stretches the entire diagonal length of the photo. There were three people in the photograph, two adults that you didn’t recognize, and a young child.

It didn’t take very long to realize that the boy in the photo was a younger version of Leon, with an uncharacteristic innocent grin. His bright blue eyes seemed to sparkle, even through the lens of a camera. He was wearing a baseball jersey, a bright red cap obscuring his hair. The man in the photo, clearly his father, gave the photographer a tight smile. He had icy blue eyes and dark slick back hair. His face was sharply shaped, with thin lips and a bit of stubble across his chin. The woman was almost the stark opposite. She had curly, bleach blonde hair that cascaded down to her collarbone. Her lips were plump and painted a brilliant scarlet; with dark navy eyes.

It was obvious that Leon took on most of his traits from his father, but bits of his mother’s physical genes peeked through the cracks.

You smile as you observe the photo, slightly sentimental to the concept of your hardened, agent boss once being an innocent child. What must’ve happened within the past two decades must have been intense, to turn this boy into the man he was today.

The sound of the door clicking open makes you set down the frame, right back to where it sat before, as Leon stumbles into the room. His skin is ghostly pale, with a layer of cold sweat on his forehead. It seems that his veins had darkened down his arms, looking to be almost black underneath his flesh.

“Agent Kennedy?” You ask, worry gathering in your gut. “Are you alright?”

Your boss looks up at you, for a second, you swore you saw red. He shakes his head, rubbing his eyes with his palms before straightening back up. “I’m not feeling well is all, jet leg.” He waves his hand dismissively, slowly walking around to the opposite end of his desk, grunting tiredly as he collapses into his office chair.

It’s awkwardly silent, the only sounds came from outside the office door, as the blonde holds his head in his hands. Your stomach churns uneasily, as you slowly back up towards the door. “You don’t look well Le-, boss, let me get First Aid.”

The agent’s eyes shoot back open, pinning you dangerously. You weren’t crazy before, they were red. A brilliant scarlet color, his pupils dilating as he observes you. He cranes his head, small black veins poking out around his temple. “No.” He growls, fingers tight on the edge of the desk.

You swallow fearfully, heart pounding wildly against your ribcage.

Something definitely wasn’t right.

“F-Fine I won’t, let me at least get you some water.” You stammer, as your back hits the surface of the door. You refuse to turn your back to Leon as you feebly attempt to twist the doorknob.

The blonde rises to his feet, seeming to struggle to speak as he begins to stalk towards you, fingers twitching. Your eyes widen as you finally bite the bullet and open the door enough for you to slide out. Without a second thought, you rush down the hallway, ignoring the odd glances from passersby.

You’re super close to the DSO First Aid office when a tight grip grabs onto your wrist, stopping you a couple feet away from the door. You whip your head around to see Leon, blue eyes back to normal, with a concerned expression across his face.

“Please, don’t. I can explain.” --- part 2: coming soon!

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy angst #plagas leon kennedy #plagas leon fic #darker themes abound #this is as good as it gets #strap in #insane roller coaster incoming

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frogmanfae · 7 months

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Newsies as Things I Heard This Week Number 4

It's a long one

Medda: That was vewy scawy

Race: she did not just say vewy scawy in front of a class at 7 am on a Monday-

Blink: *shows duck earrings*

Elmer: *gasp* I love him his name is jaramiah

Blink: No

Elmer: Yes

Blink: All my ducks are nonbinary

Elmer: ...Their name is jaramiah then idfc

Davey: Can the sun just... Go away for a minute?

Race: Forever. It can just blow up and be gone

Davey: ...No then we'd all be dead

Katherine: Omg I love your outfit!

Sarah: Oh thank y-

Katherine: It's giving like... Rosie the Rivitor we can do it but like... Gay

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Thank you...? I actually love that hold on-

Hotshot: Why do you have 2 sandwiches??

Spot: One of them is for Race

Hotshot: Oh

Albert: Awww they're having a lunch date

Spot: *glares*

Albert: ...No response?

Spot: *GLARES*

Albert: Why are you looking at me like that?

Elmer: *shrugs*

Albert: ...Is it because I just swore really loudly and angrily from the other room?

Elmer: Yeah what was that about?

Albert: The spoons fell when I opened the silverware drawer

Elmer: That seems like an appropriate response

Albert: Shut up

Morris Delancey: Do you ever like see an Elephant shit and like... You like it? Like like like I don't know! But like! I liked it! I don't know! It's just like- *very clearly desperately trying to be relatable and floundering*

(I DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT TO THIS IT WAS SOME GUY WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE HALLWAY)

Denton: *walking past a group of students eating lunch* Hey I just had triscuts today!

Davey, the guy who brought an entire box of triscuts: They're good right?

Denton: They've been around for 50 years! *leaves*

Race: ...Guys what's a triscut? ... What's a triscut???

Davey, about Romeo: He drank a whole can of tomato soup in the middle of band! Like uncooked unheated, not diluted, straight up- like who does that?? What is he- ashuguwah

Jack: She said we don't have total freedom in America because if we did you could just say you're hungry go to your neighbors house take their baby and eat it

Davey: ...Yeah I don't know what's happening right now but we have work to get started

Race: Om nom

Jack: What??

Davey: *pokes boob with bass drum mallet*

Sarah: *mid sentence* :0

Buttons: Look at me! The football fan! I loove NFL footba-

Crutchie: Shut the fuck up

Buttons: :0

Crutchie: You are a lying piece of they/them shit

Davey: *writing something on notebook paper*

Race: I asked you if you had note book paper and you said no!

Davey: No I didn't?

Race: Yes you did!

Davey: You came with me to my locker to get this??

Race, gay: *shows Jack a picture of a guy*

Jack, bisexual: Smash

Katherine, bisexual: Eh, pass

Jack: Of course you say that it's a guy

Katherine: I am attracted to men

Race: Uh huh

Jack: Hey do you ever think about color theory?

Race: Oh yeah all the time

Katherine: Uh wait back track what do you mean uh huh???

Romeo, watching a video of an artist slowly revealing his work: I'd tap. Not him, the drawing. Oh wait its of a woman nevermind

Race: *steals Davey's phone out of his lap* I just took your cock

Davey: *not paying attention, writing notes* oh I'm just making a...

Race: Did you hear me?

Davey, now realizing Race did not, in fact, ask him what he was doing: ...

Davey: *sigh*

Jojo: Look at this *shows Romeo a video*

Romeo: Ooh

Romeo: I'd fuck a... Biblically accurate angel...

Jojo: ...

Jojo: That's a weird kink

Elmer: I like shiny things

Buttons: Of course you do, faggot

Elmer: :0

Elmer: Periodt

Davey: *random noise random noise* I have autism *random noise random noise*

Race, watching asmr: Ooh I think I'm gonna like this... Oh yeah. Yeah I like that. Hot knife and gummy worm, that's a new kink

Davey: Pff-

Race: I wonder if if that says anything about me

Race: I'm gonna send you into epidemiological shock

Davey: Is that a thing?

Race: *looks at notes he's currently writing on epidemiology*

Romeo: Why are you fondling nuts like that

Albert: *drops Race's phone* oh shit-

Race: You!... Hooker!

Sarah: I wanna take my hoodie off but I'll look like a whore

Davey: I cried over harry potter’s dead parents yesterday

Race: the line has been drawn

Davey: Get off your phone!!

Race: Noo!

Davey: You have a concussion!

Race: I don't care!!

Davey: Brain damage is no joke!

Race: Ho life or no life

Sarah: Hey I also have a flannel on!

Davey: Woah

Sarah: You'll just never see it cuz I have a hoodie-

Davey: You're gay too!

Sarah, who has a whole ass girlfriend: Ew! Gross! Don't call me that slur!!

Albert: I don't understand why I can't just drink water it's like- gsgatsv!

Denton: ...Okay I'm gonna start class now

Elmer, talking about things he'll remember after high school: With the black mold trombone!!

Race: Black mold trombone will go down in history

Race: Okay but first, water bottle flip

Race: You know what makes me happy? Pheromones

Jack: Why are you so obsessed with pheromones??

Race: Because I- actually I'm not gonna say that

Specs: Did you know that nothing would happen if you threw a glass of water on the sun? *yelling* THIS IS BECAUSE THE WATER WOULD NOT REACH THE SUN

Crutchie: I miss covid

Denton: I just wanna watch the football and go home

Race: watch the football

Davey: watch the football

TW SH JOKE Jack: I hope all cutters go to hell. Not like arm cutters like line cutters. I'm going to hell anyway because I'm gay

Albert, singing a choir warm up at band: Mango mango mango mango mango mango mango mango banana banana banana whoo

Crutchie: I'm not in choir but I recognize that and I just realized you're autistic

Denton: That was weak. That was weak sauce. But I think it worked *enthusiastic thumbs up*

Elmer: I know my flowers

Spot: He does, he went to flower camp

Elmer: I did, it was fuckin SICK

Denton: Good news, you both exist!

Jojo: It's good to exist!

Crutchie: ...Okay

Spot: I'm gonna eat you and kill you

Davey, out of nowhere: *soft gasp* heliocase...

Race: Can you imagine if cells bullied each other? Like like "pff- you got a goofy lookin nucleas, idiot"

Spot: I'm gonna eat you, chew you up, and show your pieces to the world

Albert: Imagine just getting home from a long day of work and you just get c o n s u m e d

Elmer: It's super pretty cool

Jojo: Super pretty cool?

Elmer: Super pretty cool

Jojo: Oh nice

Race: I can't get embarrassed

Albert: You-

Albert: But-

Race: I've never been embarrassed in my life

Race: Yeah I don't even think I'd know what that feels like

Spot: What about when you got something nicknamed the "toddler disease" as an adult

Race: :0

Race: Look that's-

Spot: Even if you're not embarrassed, you *should* be!

Race: :00

Spot: Loser! With your toddler immune system !!

Race: Thats just dirty

Davey, a science teacher: What did you get out of reading this study? (About an experiment performed on lizards)

Class: *silence*

Davey: Did you.... Did you like it or-

Splasher, a student: Lizard...

Davey: What was that?

Splasher: For my senior pictures I'm gonna have a bearded dragon

Davey: Uh... Okay did you like the study or-?

Medda: I would never get rid of any of my beloved cello players!

Medda: ...

Medda: *holds up L on forehead*

Race: Pff-

Medda: No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I wouldn't get rid of Romeo!

Romeo: :0

Sarah: *zoning out in class, internally* omg his pockets are really deep

Denton: We've all heard that phrase before, we know what that means-

Myron: *has never heard the phrase ever* We? All??

Spot: *threateningly* you'll be the next lizard I test

Davey: *about science* it's like lasagna. It makes you want to choke but you love it because it's your favorite food

Denton: You should read the titles of some of these studies. I mean some of the TITLES are like a paragraph long I can only imagine what the articles are-

Denton: I suppose that's an analogy you could make

Romeo: It's just like Fall Out Boy for real

Jojo: Does that mean if I step on a baby I'm 72℅ Jesus? (I have no idea what this was about)

Davey: *sneezes*

Sarah: How dare you!

Katherine: *at the same time* bless you

Davey: Thank you, KATHERINE

Albert: I run at 5:40 every morning

Finch: Why would you-

Albert: I don't like it :(

Jack: Man come 8pm and I am WORTHLESS

Medda: I know student schedules are very busy so I won't give you any homework so you guys can focus on... Whatever you do... Homework, practices, jobs, injecting lizards with bacteria...

Katherine: I'm an advocate for highlighters I will always support highlighters

Jack: 🤨

Katherine: I support highlighters rights

Race, a scientist in the middle of a big project, exhausted out of his mind: *on the phone* honey, I- I can't watch the kids tonight. I got all these lizards to invest with bacteria and they're all dying and it's my- I did this to them

Spot, also exhausted out of his mind: And you did the kids to me you better get your ass home!

Davey: *loudly cracks his back*

Crutchie: ... BRO-

Davey, as if this happens a lot but this time in particular was bigger: That was intense

Denton, freshman academic biology teacher: It's that time of year where all the freshmen are like "I hate academic biology academic biology is so hard!" and all the sophomores taking advanced chemistry are like "I miss academic biology academic biology was so easy..." *big sigh* it's the same every year. Falls right in line with the pumpkin spice

Buttons: You can't make jokes like that, Mr. Denton

Denton: Yes you absolutely can and you should it was a good one

Davey, teaching a class: I have an occasional glass of red wine but other than that I'm not too wild

Les, a student in said class: Oh please

Davey: ...What?

Les: You heard me

Race: If you were a woman, you were a prostitute. It's what you did

Katherine: What history class are you in??

Crutchie: The sun is blindi- oh my god! What iss that??

Finch: It's new with the reset

Crutchie: What is that bright... /thing/??

Finch: It came with the latest update

Denton: Your lungs look like a carpet! A very outdated carpet, nobody makes carpet like that anymore. When I was a kid everyone's grandma had that carpet

Davey: Anyone else think that's super cool?

Everyone else: *silence*

Davey: Just lie to me

Race: Whoo!

Jack: Incredible!

Albert: So dope!

Davey: Yeah! There we go! Awesome!

Blink: Anyone? Just a piece? A little piece of inflammation?

Elmer, about Pulitzer; I don't think he sleeps.

Crutchie: Pff-

Elmer: No seriously. He responds to emails at midnight and he's at the school by 4 am. And he lives like 2 towns away.

Crutchie: Holy shit

Elmer: I know

Spot: Yeah! I got a jar and you don't!

Albert: Disgustingly gross child of Satan.

Race: Noo don't say that about yourself!

Albert: That's my dad. Satan.

Race: Oh. I mean yeah.

Race, a physics teacher: Alright! Sorry for the interruption, we were saying-....

Race: ...

Race: Position time graph! We-

Race: ...

Race: What were we talking about? Slope!

Davey: *drops paper* that's unfortunate

Sarah: What's up with that? It's like 2 pieces of paper. You can't handle 2 pieces of-

Davey: Shut the fuck up

Crutchie: Cholera! Hello!

TW SUICIDE JOKE Crutchie: You're the cell

Jack: What?

Crutchie: The cell is like "kill me please" you're the cell

Jack: :0

Davey: And then you walk into your- SNEEZE CLOUD!!!

Davey: I'm so gay, I love Crash Course with Hank Green

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wilted-woman · 1 year

Photo

something something haades

#brain? rot :)#i am. so proud of the butterfly vest btw #i feel very smart for coming up with that #i'm so sorry to my mutuals having to deal with my newest obsession #it will not be ending anytime soon actually #strap in #zagreus hades #thanatos hades #hades game #aa #my art

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theflikchic · 1 year

Text

English Major Rereads Harry Potter to See If It's "Actually Bad and I Just Have Nostalgia" As The Internet Says Pt 1: Chamber and Filch You Good?

What is going on with the frog brains.

Okay before I explode into thoughts: we GOTTA talk about the humour (I promise it's related). Because it is genuinely well-played. Some of the chapter endings are a little choppy and standard-kids book-like. But when Ron says that a teacher "would have to be really thick" and then the next chapter starts with Lockhart? Freaking hilarious. (Ron's wit is so much more hardcore than I remember. Guy takes NO prisoners and is the ACTUAL smart one, hot take).

But much of the humour is derived from nonsense. Not a bad thing, just how it is. Basically, the narrator will describe the world during jumps in time: what the characters have been up to and the locations the characters are in as well, as what non-main characters have been doing in order to give Hogwarts a more homey feel. Not always necessary but it works. And sometimes it comes back for the plot. Ex. Fred and George blowing up the salamander introduces the firecracker for Harry to use in Potions.

BUT this type of description hits- my goodness- it hits DIFFERENT as an adult because the humour which is literally just "weird description of something, move on" is just whack nonsense and leaves me with so many freaking questions. Like, "ha ha the ghosts are playing Head Hockey". As a kid, you're like "haha the ghosts are playing Head Hocket" and now I'm like "THE GHOSTS ARE PLAYING HEAD HOCKEY?? ELABORATE???" It's funny, it works, but DAMN is it weird.

And right now, I'm hung up on: Why tf is Filch cleaning up frog brains in the dungeon with the fking FLU?

Like, as a child, I just accepted this moment. That Filch is both sick and upset because a bunch of third years splattered frog brains on the dungeon ceiling and that is what is important to the plot. It's just Hogwarts being funny and quirky! The end! But NOW I'm like- like- I have SO SO many questions.

1) What the actual hell were those third years DOING? I'm assuming making potions since it was in the dungeon. So-

2) Why tf is SNAPE not doing anything about it? Man LIVES down there and doesn't he teach Potions to, like, literally EVERYONE? The book describes how there's a bunch of staff and students with colds (to set up how Ginny is looking "peaky" from being possessed, nice little foreshadowing), is he sick too?! But wouldn't he have Pepperup Potion? Why is SNAPE not fixing this?!

3) Was it a prank? Were these dumb kids just "guys being dudes" or something and blew up a bunch of frogs? Again, if so, how tf is Snape not on their cases? They're IN THE DUNGEONS.

4) Okay, new angle. Maybe they AREN'T in class and just studying downstairs. Explains how Nick and Filch knew they were third-years. I still need to know: Where is Snape.

5) So Snape is unavailable (current situation) or just not wanting to clean up (doesn't seem much like him, usually he'd make the students do it or just magic it away) and there's only Filch- who has the fucking FLU?! Where is HIS Pepperup Potion?! What happens if the man HURLS? You gonna make him clean that up too?!

This leads me to the next big question. Aside from how Filch's office apparently smells like fried fucking fish (i'm SORRY?! HOW WHY), I'm really starting to wonder...wtf is going on with Filch at ALL?

Narratively for the second book, he's important. He introduces the concept of squibs (a very complex and...strange thing that I shan't get into here), introduces Harry's really powerful ability to have empathy, adds another antagonistic adult party to the staff, and works as a background character to flesh out the environment. But STILL.

Why is this guy with no magic cleaning up magic nonsense?! Why was he hired at all?? What dirt does Dumbledore have on him? Is it just cuz Dumbledore feels bad for him? Oh, you feel bad, Dumbledore? Where's the man's Pepperup Potion?!

I don't think Filch's past being neglected is really a flaw. I think it works well with his character being this gross, mysterious, pathetic (in both sense of the word) man who is every kid's worst fear without the moral complexity (like Snape). As of right now in Chamber, he's an idea (Joker voice) while still being a character. I don't think that's bad, it is a very standard idea for kids books, especially British ones like Roald Dahl. Filch is effective as an idea.

I just didn't realize I'd be thinking so seriously of him as an adult. And that Harry Potter is...like...kind of absurdist fantasy?! Huh?!

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