#stem lesbian

[raging-guanche]

for all my mascs out there;

YOU ARE NOT PREDATORY FOR LIKING FEMS AND/OR WOMEN.

YOU ARE NOT UGLY OR DANGEROUS.

YOU ARE LOVED, IMPORTANT AND QUEER ENOUGH

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR MASCULINITY.

#tw caps #masc #masc lesbian #stem lesbian #stud lesbian #butch #butch4butch #soft butch #stone butch #butch lesbian #masc gay #gay masculine #masculine men #trans masc #transmasc #transmasculine #masc mlm

[shes-gay-allday]

Happy lesbian visibility week everyone!!

#lesbians #lesbian visibility week #lesbehonest #love #queer women #wlw community #lesbian blog #wlw post #femme lesbian #butch lesbian #trans lesbian #stud lesbian #stem lesbian #youre safe #love is love #happy #relationships #lesbian #wlw mood

[junkdyke]

Heard there was a masc shortage, had to do my part and join the ranks 🫡

#black lesbian #masc lesbian #lesbians #stem lesbian #starter locs #locs #wlw #girls with tattoos #mememe #mine #dykeposting

[her-stars]

Need me a masc gf who’s willing to be an accessory to my outfits!! just follow behind hand in hand and occasionally wrap her arms around my waist when we’re out because we know how we look cute. i’m serving (they look cute too but they give me all the attention bc they can't keep their hands off me) <3

#lesbian #wlw blog #lgbtq #wlw #queer #girlswholikegirls #sapphic yearning #wlw textpost #masc lesbian #stem lesbian #wlw post #sapphic #femme4masc

[stormydayvibes]

The wonderful feeling of napping on your girlfriends chest. Listening to the sounds of her steady breaths as you feel the soft drumming of her heart beat. Legs and arms intertwined in a loving embrace. Soft hands drawing circles into my shoulderblades and down my ribcage. To be compleatly enveloped in a womans affection is the most heavenly way to pray. The surrender of trust so willingly. In her I found my religion, in her I found what the cherubs sing of.

#i love women #relationship #lesbian #sapphic #sapho #wlw love #wlw post #bisexual #pansexual #writers and poets #poets on tumblr #butch lesbian #fem lesbian #masc lesbian #stem lesbian #I am so hopelessly inlove with this woman #wholsome #romantic #femme lesbian

[leikeliscomet]

A Brief Look at Stem(me) History

Wanted to know more about Black lesbian identities and I couldn't find a lot on Tumblr or Twitter so I did some research on stem/stemme myself. I'm not involved in queer discourse like that but I've noticed stemme being compared with futch both positively an negatively. The term "futch" is a mash up of butch and femme and the OG Futch Scale was posted 17th February 2011. In 2015, it got posted to Tumblr and became a meme, then an accidental "guide" on lesbian identity. Regardless of stances pro-futch or anti-futch I wanted to find info on stem/stemme as a Black lesbian identity for gender and gender expression. The modern definition of a stem/stemme is a Black lesbian whose gender expression and mannerisms fall between stud and femme. I've managed to find definitions not only supporting this but also definitions predating the futch scale, both pre and post meme version:

"Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme.  (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.)" Stud is defined as "An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian.  Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’." (John Jay College of Criminal Justice LGBTQ+ Terminology, Eli R. Green, 2003-2004)

"Stemm A stemm is a gay/lesbian female who dresses like a guy, and dresses like a girl. Person 1: Look at that girl, she looks like a dude with all those guy clothes on, she has to be a stud Person 2: Well she was wearing girly clothes yesterday, so I thought she was a femm Person 3: Actually she's a stemm, she's wears boy clothes sometimes, and girl clothes other times" (Urban Dictionary definition of Stemm by user JenniferHill, November 8th 2009)

"A lesbian, who identifies as a Stemme, retains traits from both Femme and Stud/ Butch lesbians. Stemmes are in the center of the lesbian spectrum of classification and identities. Therefore, it is considered natural or common for Stemme lesbians to share the same behaviors as women of two diverse identity groups. Often times, the Stemme identity is viewed as the “transitional” stage of lesbianism, when a lesbian woman goes from being a Femme to a Stud/ Butch, or (on rear occasions) from a Stud/ Butch to a Femme... *In this blog the characteristic and behavioral difference between a Femme and a Stud is conjoined. The way a Femme or a Stud dresses is not the only way she can be identified. They can also be distinguished by their attitudes, actions and the way they interact with other people. A Stemme is the in-between identity of a Stud and Femme. She is apart of both groups and her identity is subject to change at anytime. A Stemme identity is often referred to as the transitional stage; however, some lesbian women remain a Stemme because they enjoy representing male and female dominance." (Lesbian Identity: Stemme, Nell S., 6th Nov 2009)

"'one who could switch up one day, she could be a femme and other occasions dress like she has a li’l hood, li’l ghetto inside her; a stemme –  part femme part stud a tomboy'" (STORY OF INTEREST: Lesbian Speaks Out, Dominica News Online, April 12th 2010)

"Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity." (Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011)

"Stem, described as a cross between or combination of stud and femme, is a label that was used to refer to a lesbian that presented both masculine and feminine traits and characteristics. Short Dawg said, 'A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine.'" (Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, 2013)

Videos

Who has it harder in the world of lesbians? [studs? stems? or fems?}, iRoqStarStemme, 10th Jan 2011

WTH is a STEM??, AmbersCloset, 1st Feb 2013

The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem, Channel 4, 9th Feb 2015

There's a lot more I found and I'll post each article and video separately because they all go into more detail but tl;dr;

Stem(me) is an identity coined by Black lesbian spaces

Stem(me) mainly follows stud/femme dynamics rather than butch/femme (but can reference it)

Stem(me) predates the futch scale meme

Stem(me) is defined by clothing but also behaviours, so it can be a form of Black gender expression or gender itself

#lesbian #black lesbian #black sapphic #black queer women #black lesbian history #stemme lesbian #stemme #black wlw #lesbian history #sapphic history #wlw history #stem lesbian #stud lesbian #masc lesbian #chapstick lesbian #stud fem #stud femme

[baileythoma]

🫥

#girls who like girls #wlw #lgbt #sapphic #lez #lgbtq #lesbian #girls who kiss girls #les #lgbtqia #stem lesbian

[wlwdomination]

I love butches and stud/stems so much. like I wanna have a cute masc to parade around like a puppy

#wlw post #lesbian #femme4masc #fem lesbian #femme4butch #femme4stud #femme4all #lesbian nsft #masc lesbian #butch bait #butch lesbian #stem lesbian #stud lesbian

[blkmogai]

✦ 　──　a flag for lesbians ( WLW, NBLW ) who are stems ( stud-fems ), or “soft butch.” this flag is, by definition, exclusive to black lesbians whose gender presentation or identity falls somewhere between stud and femme.

✧ 　──　studs are stereotypically masculine lesbians, whereas femmes are stereotypically feminine. stems are typically somewhere in-between, but being a stem is a wholly self-determined trait, for those who feel they don’t simply fall into one “category” or presentation, or the other.

tagging @abandonedknowledge !

[ Alt Text : READ MY PINNED MOTHERFUCKER ]

#blkmogai #stake 𓂅 ✦﹕flags #mod 𓂅 ✦﹕sylvie #stem lesbian #mogai #lgbtq #queer #lesbian #transgender #black transmasc #stud #butch #fem #butch lesbian #fem lesbian #black lesbian #black transfem #black queerness #black lgbt #nonbinary #futch #mogai term #mogai flag #pride flags #aemogai #mogai blog #pro mogai #mogai safe #soft butch

[lesbianpolls]

question for Femme and Butch/Stud lesbians, what pronouns do you use?

Femme, She/Her

2. Femme, They/Them

3. Femme, He/Him,

4. Femme, multiple sets/neo pronouns/Xeno pronouns

5. Butch/Stud, She/Her

6. Butch/Stud, They/Them

7. Butch/Stud, He/Him

8. Butch/Stud, multiple sets/neo pronouns/Xeno pronouns

9. Neither femme/butch/stud / Both femme/butch/stud (Futch/Stem)

10. Secret tenth thing(?)

#lesbian #butch #butch lesbian #poll #polls #lesboy #transmasc lesbian #inclusive lesbian #stud #stud lesbian #femme #femme lesbian #futch #futch lesbian #stem lesbian

[junkdyke]

Heavy metal dyke sits on floor of tattoo shop

#black lesbian #black femme #femme #femme dyke #femme lesbian #dom femme #femme4stud #femme4butch #femme4masc #femme4femme #tattoos #girls with tattoos #stem lesbian #masc lesbian #mememe #wlw #mine

[her-stars]

not to be nsfw but something about thunderstorms always makes me feel things 🌫 Window open with the occasional cool breeze and let a sexy masc woman tenderly kiss me within this thunderstorm, until we become the bright lightning, carrying wind and pouring rain. being fingered by her under a blanket while we're cuddling. just kissing my neck and whispering praises into my ear while softly grinding against their hand. <3

#lesbian #wlw blog #lgbtq #wlw #queer #girlswholikegirls #sapphic yearning #wlw textpost #sapphic nsft #femme4masc #wlw post #sapphic #masc lesbian #stem lesbian

[vampiredaze]

here’s throwback pics of me in a suit enjoy 🤭

#gay girls #girls who like girls #lesbian #lesbian goals #lesbianism #lesbians #masc lesbian #sapphic #wlw #wlw post #stem lesbian

[simbistardis]

Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity. Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity.

Stud-femme dating was the norm in this community, as it was in the community studied by Wilson (2009) in her analysis of Black lesbian sexual culture. Stemmes dated both femmes and studs, but often exhibited a preference for dating one or the other, they altered their behaviour and appearance often based on their relationship. Studs were uneasy at the thought of dating stemmes because they worried stemmes might ‘switch up’, which would upset the rules of who was allowed to date whom.

Good gay females had to be ‘females’, which excluded studs and stemmes who were more masculine in their gender presentation from receiving the same support as appropriate mothers. For femmes, motherhood signified femininity. Due to their own gender beliefs and the gender norms of their community, femmes could most easily integrate motherhood with their gender identity.

Though babies’ daddies tended to be studs, on rare occasions stemmes identified as a baby’s daddy. However, stemmes did not derive as much meaning from the role. Instead, referring to themselves as babies’ daddy was a way to signify to women that they were interested in dating them. As Shae (age 20) explained, stemmes referred to themselves as a baby’s daddy, ‘Because they love, or like, the women whose child it is.’ For stemmes, one adopted the role to relate to the mother rather than to fulfil parenting desires per se. Stemmes joked about being a baby’s daddy, whereas studs took the role seriously, talked about it in terms of responsibility and truly ‘think of they self as daddy’. In either usage – either as a role or a relational device – the word implies a family identity, much like other same-sex couples who use last names to negotiate family identity (Suter, Daas, and Bergen 2008). Stemmes did not actively seek the role of baby’s daddy, whereas there is evidence that studs may.

Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011

#stem lesbian #stemme lesbian #stud lesbian #black lesbian history #black lesbian #lesbian history #stud fem #stud femme #black culture #lesbian #stem #stemme #masc lesbian

[leikeliscomet]

Are there any ace lesbians that just don't vibe with "bambi lesbian"? Both ace and allo lesbians that wanna use the term that's great but for me personally I don't really claim it. Not all bambis are ace but not all aces are bambi. I noticed a lot of bambi lesbian & ace sapphic content always equates being ace with being a fem sapphic and I dont get it. Non sexual intimacy gets equated with "feminine" roles like cottagecore, being a stay at home gf, cooking, gardening, pink, sweetness, softness etc. Like where's the stuff for the asexual butches? Asexual studs? Asexual stems? Ace sapphics that lean more androgynous and masc? Where's the ace sapphic & bambi stuff about buying masc clothes with your partner, or building something with them or changing a tire and shit. The term bambi, a small soft, dainty, innocent animal being the representation of not having sex/sexual attraction feels a lil weird too. You can be soft and dainty and sexual. You can be non-sexual and dominant and strong. And again asexuality =/= not liking sex its just means little to no sexual attraction. When you look at ace culture the terms and imagery isn't exclusively masc or fem. An animal that isn't stereotyped as being softy feminine and innocent for lesbian aces is a label I'd feel more comfortable claiming. It would kinda cringe but a sea urchin or dragon would make more sense to me. Or it could take a page from our aro bredren with aphrodite lesbian and be "artemis lesbians" or something idk. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being fem and ace sapphic or just fem btw, it's just non-sexual love isn't automatically purer by default, not all ace sapphics are fem and you can be masc, butch, stud, stem or androgynous and soft too.

#just rambling #bambi lesbian #ace lesbian #asexual lesbian #asexual #ace wlw #ace sapphic #masc lesbian #stud lesbian #stem lesbian #butch lesbian #androgynous lesbian