#sorry if you're a kyle for naming this shit after you

[lxvvie]

Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Part 2:

Thinking Simon is asleep when he isn't. Or so he says. Case in point: Simon in all his cattiness made you his pillow. Your nails were working miracles scratching along his scalp which had him dozing off and lightly snoring. Or so you thought. You heard him grumble, "Why'd you stop, luvie?" when you moved your hand. He'll deny he was asleep, too, like the peepaw that he is.

To piggyback off the first point, Simon will sometimes quietly grab your hand and put it back on his head if you stop scratching his scalp. If you stop a second time, he will have experienced a betrayal man and cat were never supposed to know, and it's Affection Denied™ for the rest of the day lmao.

Texting each other when you're in two separate rooms because you don't feel like talking out loud. Sometimes, you'll text him some crazy shit that'll warrant him leaving the room he was in to silently judge you.

Absolutely loving to watch him shave in the morning because Simon is so sexy when he's concentrating, eyebrows furrowed, and those brown eyes staring intensely in the mirror.

You and Simon shit-talking each other in bed because you'll complain about being hot with the covers and cuddle pile you two have going on but never really doing anything to change it. You two actually can't get a good night's sleep without being up under the other.

Simon banning you from watching horror films because, for the hundredth bloody time, he didn't hear shit, love. He actually did and it was the neighbors but he can't be arsed to get out of bed.

Speaking of neighbors, it's you and Simon lying in bed, listening to the neighbors make sex and when it's done, Simon goes, "Mm. A new record," and he sounds so unimpressed which causes you to guffaw. Oh my fucking god—

Getting in the dog house with Simon because when your hands are cold, you stick them down in his pants to rest on his thighs because it's hilarious to see him jump and that's what he gets for not turning the heat up. Simon counterargues that he did turn it up. Three degrees.

Introducing Simon to the wonders of Spa Day at home because his skin needs some TLC. Simon looking like someone's stressed auntie with a ciggie dangling from his lips, wearing a really comfortable bathrobe you got him, and eye masks on.

You two treating it like the end of the world whenever one of y'all gets sick (Simon to a lesser extent) because how in the hell will you get your daily dose of affection?

Going all out and having a whole-ass reveal party for your newest edition to the family, Pup. You gave the boys shirts to wear in celebration. You wore Dad, Simon wore... Mom????, Kyle got Uncle, Soap got... Big Brother??? and Price got... Grandfather. Grand. Father. "Congrats, Cap'n." "Shut up."

Pranking Simon by calling him some random guy's name just to see his reaction. Simon stops what he's doing, judges you in Ghost, and goes, "Who the fuck is Anthony?" After that, it's on sight for Anthony. Whoever the fuck that is. Simon gets you back, though, and he's all, "Ask Anthony" "Oh? You love Anthony, too?" "Sorry sweetheart, Simon is taken. Better go to Anthony." Real funny, asshole.

Simon thinking you're about to go down on him. Not the way he thinks, though. You've situated yourself between his thighs, put his legs on your shoulders, and lower your head to... blow raspberries in his tummy. Like... whole-ass tunes. The disappointment on his face is immeasurable. But then you have him chuckling because you're fuckin' adorable looking up at him like that and your raspberries are ticklish.

#2queued4u. #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern lovefare. #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #x plus size reader #x poc reader #x black reader #task force 141

[moondirti]

sorry, this was born out of a need to indulge myself featuring: gaz, ballerina!reader, stalking, intrusive thoughts, delusion, mentioned SA and kidnapping

Kyle first spots you on the Piccadilly line in London's underground.

He's usually wary of public transport – would really rather walk the hour from Knightsbridge to Hammersmith than risk the inevitable unsavoury interaction bound to happen in an overcrowded tube – but it was late at night, he'd just spent his day sitting in a hotel lobby gathering intel for Price, and the idea of ducking down narrow streets in the blistering cold was the last thing he wanted coming to fruition. That's how he ended up in a (thankfully empty) train car anyway; hoodie up and hands stuffed deep into his pockets, thumb brushing over the handle of a switchblade.

He's focused on the shady character stretched across three seats adjacent to him when you happen to prance in. Perhaps prance isn't that accurate an account either, but it's hard to attribute much else to you when you're dressed like a character from one of his sister's childhood storybooks. Angelina ballerina, or something of the sorts – mismatched leg warmers, knitted bolero sleeving a black camisole, basketball shorts over nude-coloured tights, and dance booties that look like little puffer coats for your feet.

The duffel bag slung over your shoulder concerns him briefly – it's hard to look at carryalls the same after serving the military, he finds – but the tired look on your face pacifies any suspicions he might have of your intentions. Wouldn't be wise to execute an offensive when one of your operatives is weary, especially given they're the only agent in sight. Regardless, he's hit with a distinct trepidation that takes a while to name.

You slide past the figure he'd been observing early, hop over Kyle's boots as well, fingers clasped over your behind as if to protect yourself from any wandering hands. The feeling rippling in his chest worsens, yet it's only as you slot yourself onto a far-away seat is he able to recognise it.

You shouldn't be here this late. This isn't the place for you.

With your hair neatly pulled away from your face, he's given full reign to ogle at your darling features. Round cheeks. Hydrated lips. Pretty thing. His molars grind against each other. There are no doubt men on this train that'd want to take advantage of that. Press your mouth open with a thumb on your tongue, rub themselves raw just to see cum decorate your lashes and drip over your brow. Barrack talk, the type of shit he hears floating between his comrades-in-arms when missions drag a little too long. Perversion brought on by desperation.

The intercom dings, and the lady with the soothing voice announces their arrival to Hammersmith. His stop, yet the thought of getting off and abandoning you is enough to keep him stuck to his seat. His stomach upturns as possibilities occur to him like frames in a technicolor film; none pleasant, all ending with you tied up in the trunk of some random van. Some part of him recognises his paranoia, the ridiculousness in his attachment to a perfect stranger (which chides him in a voice eerily similar to Price's, all gruff vowels and whispered consonants), but it does not change the fact that when the doors open to his station, he does not move.

Yeah. He stays on so long as you do – which fortunately is not an extensive length of time. You collect your stuff one stop later, standing to wait at the door once the lady announces Acton Town. He doesn't get up until you're a few seconds out though, slipping through the closing panels of the entryway to follow a few paces behind your heel. Up the escalator and down the block.

The night air nips at his nose, chilling his knuckles so they creak if he curls them. Are your nipples knotted under your layers? Or would they need the help of his fingers to perk up? His throat stiffens. He shakes the thought from his head.

You make a turn. Kyle stops for a second, breathes in, before veering left behind you. Heading towards the west part of town, now. It's a good place to live, all things considered. Still, he wonders if you deadbolt your doors, if you keep yourself safe online. You seem smart, but there are people who won't rest until they get their way. People like the one's he deals with at work – amoral men with biceps that could crush your head. Rotten, horrible men who are only rotten and horrible to cope with the tasks assigned to them. Depraved enemies, depraved friends. Only difference between the two being which flag they fight for.

You throw a look over your shoulder, shoulders shrinking as you wrap your arms tighter across your chest. He looks around, seeking the threat you seem to be so put off by. Nothing but brick-and-mortar storefronts and flattened cigarette butts.

He's compelled by the urge to shush you, to scratch your back as he tells you that there's no need to worry. He'll walk you all the way home. Make sure you get nice and situated, listen for the tell-tale lock of your deadbolt, watch for the dimming of your light. He'll stay until you fall asleep, then walk back to where he came from, take the returning line to Hammersmith – so when he flops back down into his own bed, he'll be reassured by the knowledge that you're safe a mere 4 miles away.

Might take a shower before then, though. Your arse looks great when you're speed-walking like this, pronounced even behind the loose material of your basketball shorts. He hopes the image remains as vivid when he's attending to the heavy mass between his legs later.

Kyle halts right in his tracks.

What is he doing?

You're nearly running now, shrinking away from him at an exponential rate, and duck another corner when you look back to see that he's no longer in pursuit. Completely out of sight.

His Captain’s voice comes to life once more, echoing in the part of his brain he has yet to compartmentalise.

You draw the line wherever you need it, Sergeant.

#unedited and probably bad #tbh this is a character study poorly disguised as a fic #lmk if yall want a part 2 tho #kyle 'gaz' garrick x reader #gaz x reader #kyle 'gaz' garrick #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #gaz #x reader #x afab reader #call of duty #cod

[missuswalker]

Kyle dating hc's pleaaaaase 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

meow meow meow 🤭🤭

relationship headcannons || kyle broflovski x fem reader

✮ summary: kyle as your boyfreind ✮ warnings: i was gonna do what i did for the clyde one but changed my mind, so nsfw content, reminder that characters are aged up (i'm too much of a kyle girl to pass up the oppurtunity)

sfw

before ya'll started dating he did your homework for you as a rizz tactic

he thought it would make you want him

turns out you wanted him even before he started doing your homework, so he starts making you do it yourself

but kyle would do anything for you, so if you ask him with that pretty face of yours, he'll do it anyways

ya'll had a long "are we dating are we not phase"

he's been screwed over so many times that he wanted to make sure you were the one

you definitely were

after much convincing from stan and a couple hundred "no balls, you wont"s from cartman, kyle finally asks to be his gee-eff (girlfriend)

over text in your instagram dms

LOOK, HE WAS TOO NERVOUS TO DO IT IN PERSON

he did it very romantically though

loooooooong paragraph about how much he likes you and wants you to be all his

ends it with "And I know you piss me off sometimes, but I think I could really make us work."

as SOON as you say yes

"Come over. You have my address."

anyways, moving on, he acts like he thinks pet names are cringe, but he can't help but call you that goody goody shit like "angel"

do you hear purring? sorry

anyways, he spoils you to death, like what was in my love language hcs

"oh wow that's so cute" "what color do you want it in" "kyle 😟"

loooves when you wear his boxer shorts around his house, he thinks he's THE man when you do

his mom likes to talk to him about embarrassing things in front of you to mess with him

"hi boobala, your spiderman underwear is fresh out of the dryer 🥰" "ma, that's ikes, get out 😡😡😡😨😰"

when you guys cuddle, he puts his hand up your shirt and rubs your back

he has cold ass hands though

kisses the top of your head all the time

he's like 6'2 so if you're shorter than him he's all like "aww elf 😻😻" when in reality he's just tall

nsfw

WOOF WOOF WOOF AWOOOOO

damn

first time he was suuuuuper sweet and gentle

after that he puts his temper into it

its like theres an earth quake from the bed rocking

ike ain't a snitch though 🤐

he is rough, hoowee

grunts, huffs, groans

all the good shit

probably says some good girl shit at some point

if he's actually upset, he rather you take control

lets you do whatever you want and whimpers

he whines yall

but if cartman pissed him off, its not the same

has you in doggy style and goes WILD

he don't care if you're screaming

yeah he does, when he's finished he STRESSES about sheila

"dude, you were fucking rabid, i'm so fucked 😰😰"

sheila side eyes him at breakfast but doesn't say anything

makes gerald give him the talk

gerald makes randy give him the talk

randy informs him of new positions

someone on wattpad said "jew in the streets, freak in the sheets"

#kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski headcanons #south park x reader headcanons #south park x reader #south park #x reader #this was way too long #kyle isnt even my favorite

[jewbeloved]

Could you do Craig, Kyle and Kenny with s/o that has terrible memory like their s/o constantly forgets what they were just saying 🤩🙏

Craig, Kyle, and Kenny with a s/o who has terrible memory 😵‍💫🖤🧭

Warnings: I have no clue what to put as a warning.

Gender: Neutral

💙 Craig Tucker 🐹

He doesn't mind it and he is very patient with you whenever you're trying to remember what you were talking about before.

He will stand there for hours and hours giving you all the time you need to remember, my guy is loyal.

He will also be there to help you get back on track if you actually forget what you were talking about before.

"It's okay (Name), just take your time I'll wait".

If guinea pigs could bite really hard, then Craig wouldn't mind letting Stripe bite those who make fun of you for having terrible memory.

If your memory loss is a habit, Craig will help you get rid of it. But If you had it ever since, then Craig will support and comfort through it. You won't have to deal with this by yourself if Craig is around☺️💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🍀

Kyle doesn't mind it either like Craig, but if you both are discussing something important and you forget what you were discussing, then he might be a little annoyed at you for that. But that annoyance goes away after a minute don't worry.

Kyle will also help you get rid of your memory loss if it's a habit, there are cons when it comes to memory loss better to be safe then sorry.

Someone making fun of you for having terrible memory? All Kyle sees is rage and anger towards the person making fun of you.

You better hold this boy back before the person gets sent to the infirmary.

Can you really blame him for beating up the person though? They were making fun of you and thinking they won't have terrible memory anytime soon, what goes around comes around.

Kyle will defend his s/o from anyone who tries to hurt them.💚💚💚💚💚💚

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🐁

Kenny will also help you get back on track with what you were saying, but sometimes he might not be able to help you if he wasn't paying attention to what you were saying or talking about.

If he has to put himself in between you and the person who is mocking or making fun of you in general, he will certainly do so and have no problems with it.

What makes this person think they can just come outta nowhere and mock you for having terrible memory and think they're hot shit for doing so?? Not on Kenny's watch, they aren't getting off the hook.

Kenny has patience when you're trying to figure what you were saying before you lost track. But if your thinking goes on for way too long then Kenny will step up and correct you back on track. That is...if you're okay with him butting in.

Feeling insecure about having terrible memory? Kenny's affection and comfort will help fix that.🧡🧡🧡🧡

I have bad memory sometimes but I don't know if that has something to do with my ADHD or not.

#south park x reader #south park #craig tucker x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #craig tucker #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #memory #memory loss #fluff headcanons #comfort #southpark blog #southpark sp #sp x reader #x reader #southpark x y/n #southpark scenarios #southpark headcanons

[cloverlove-drabble]

TASK FORCE 141 X M!READER

nsfw headcannons :3

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish:

He definitely is a biter, he would leave bite marks all over your body until you're bruised all over your neck and stomach begging him to stop

He loves you're ass, the more muscle/fat on it the better (but if its small he wont complain he just likes asses lolsies)

He'd eat you out for hoursss, its like he gets more pleasure from it then you sometimes

Hes a switch but perfers to give even if he's bottoming, he's just so giving and wants you to feel good

If you want him whining go down on him, hes so sensitive and desperate especially sense he doesn't last long (he makes up for it with stamina alone)

Speaking of stamina he can go round after round he wont be satisfied until you're tired and shaking

Hes so gentle with aftercare making sure to rub you're sore spots and apologize if he bit you to hard, he's not that sorry though

Captain John Price:

I can see him loving being in control BUTTT.. if you ever wanted to dominate him he'd be putty in your hands

If you were to get on top of him and ride him he would go all whiny and have a love sick look in his eyes as he looks up at you

But if you're the one bottoming though, its different

He'd be as dominate as he is in the feild, he would be rough and man handle you (with love ofc)

He'd be the type to bend you over the nearest surface and let out all his pent-up up frustration

Hes into you calling him sir or captain in bed, pull on his hair and call him that and he'll do anything you ask

Hes such a sweet talker, a lot of nicknames and dirty compliments

His aftercare is beyond amazing, runs you a shower, cleans you off, gives sweet praise, and then cooks you something

I need this man biblically

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick:

I am a softie for this man

He'd be so into soft sex, giving or receiving

Hes a romantic with it, he'd try to set the mood with dirty talk and body worship before he could even get you in bed

He loves to bottom, if you were a rough top he'd secretly be obsessed with it, all the commands you give him make him weak in the knees

Please let him give you head, he loves to give, especially if you tug his hair and force him to take you deeper

if you repay the favor and give eat him out back he'd be moaning loudly and wrapping his legs around your neck

for aftercare he loves to give still, cleaning you up and cuddling until you fall asleep

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Hes either a hard top or soft bottom no inbewteen (its cannon because i said so)

When he's in a topping mood he'd blow your back out no mercy, he'd be into putting the dull end of his knife against your neck just because its thrilling

He would definitely love to get head from you, seeing how far he can get down your throat before you have to tap out

He'd go 10x harder if you moaned his name, headboard slamming against the wall and shit

He'd be into risks sometimes, maybe in a alleyway behind a pub but if anyone saw you he'd kill them (😲)

Now when he bottoms he just wants to be taken care of, soft hand jobs, sweet kisses, maybe whipped cream if hes really pent up

Call him a good boy and he'll be whining, trace his scars with your lips and he'll cry from pleasure

Aftercare for him is taken seriously, if he accidentally cut you he'd bandage it and kiss it better, run you a shower to wash you off, an then go snuggle on the couch

:3 my first fanfic on here. in my whore era?!

#cod x male reader #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw2 x male reader #male reader #john soap mactavish x male reader #captain john price x male reader #kyle gaz garrick x male reader #simon ghost riley x male reader #cloverthought

[t0rturedangel]

Hey ummm this is my first time asking someone to write soo sorry if it's not good.

Anyways 4 main x reader how would there first kiss be like (romantic, weird,messy ykyk)

Hope you have a good day

╭ . . . first kisses ੭

• ➛ main four x reader ( separate ) ╰ notes / warnings :: just swearing, also this might be a little ooc

STAN MARSH - ✮ •

━ your first kiss would be quite awkward with STAN since the poor boy is trying not to vomit all over you.

━ he'll probably just give you a quick - yet sweet - peck on the lips then vomit.

━ while it's really sweet its also kinda sad - mostly for stan- he set up a little date for the two of you just for his first kiss with you and it all went to shit when he felt the take away he ate a few minutes ago coming back up

━ still though you found it cute that he tried and comforted him as best as you could

" awh man- I'm sorry [ name ] " Stan mumbled, running a hand through his hair clearly annoyed with himself for vomiting at such an important time in your guy's relationship. You laughed softly " Its fine, Stan, honest " giving his hand a small squeeze you leaned against his side " really ? " he asked, still ashamed with vomiting nearly all over you " course " you laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek causing a red blush to take over your boyfriend's face. He slap his hand over his mouth - again- trying not to throw up, as he stared at you, absolutely in love and bewildered.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI - ✮ •

━ KYLE'S first kiss with you would be really romantic

━ Just like his buddy stan, kyle would make a date for your first kiss except it would be much more classy. While stan would probably order take out and watch movies with you for his date, Kyle would bring you to a restaurant ( probably in a suit as well ) and then walk you home after.

━ The kiss happened when kyle walked you back home, you thanked him and then pressed a kiss to his lips

━ Like i said, verry classy but still it was the best kiss of Kyle's life.

" Thank you for everything tonight kyle " you smiled, right after kissing him, it wasnt a short kiss nor was it awkward it was the most perfect kiss kyle's ever experienced. It felt so right to him and it must've felt right for you too. " I- uhm ... yeah dude? " he cursed at himself mentally for calling you 'dude' after such a romantic moment. Thankfully though you didnt seem offended, in fact you seemed to find it even cuter and funnier " Yeah . . . dude " you laughed, pressing another kiss, this time much quicker, to his cheek before walking home leaving a very flustered kyle behind. His legs were weak and wobblily, his face a shade of red that could easily rival his hair colour. He loved you so much, thats for sure.

KENNY MCCORMICK - ✮ •

━ your first kiss with KENNY would be sexual yet romantic, i mean come on its kenny.

━ The kiss would also happen right after you agree to be his girlfriend / boyfriend / lover or whatever. It would happen at your house, you two were hanging out after a date and kenny asked you the question when you answered yes he practically tackled you.

━ it would also lead to a make out, again how can it not?

━ now you have to pray that none of your guardians come in because, oh boy.

" Ken!- " you yelped once kenny paused his kiss for air, the blonde turned his head to the side, curious as to what you want " hm? yeah babe " your face was completely red " what if someone walks in and catches u- " Kenny cut you off with another loving kiss, his hands cupped your face " so ? now that you're mine i want everyone to know " he gave you a grin, you returning it " hahmm, fine " laughing kenny once more pressed his lips to yours, your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer, enjoying the moment with him.

ERIC CARTMAN - ✮ •

━ God, i dont even know how to describe your first kiss with ERIC

━ it was probably to show that your his lover, so a jealousy kiss- its that or a kiss after you made fun of kyle

━ he'd be so proud of you if you made fun of him he'd kiss you right Infront of everyone- something he's never done and never will do again, nothing against you its just he hates people seeing him kissing you.

━ After that, all kisses are private, it was just a one time public kiss.

" Eric ! " you gasped as his lips left yours, you didnt even know why he kissed you since he told you at the start of your relationship that all kisses and affection would be in private and yet right now he kissed you. in front of quite a lot of people. " I- im just so proud of you baby ! " he (probably fake) sniffed, smiling " what ?- wha... is this because i yelled at kyle and told him to fuck off ? " cartman nodded and pressed more kisses on your cheek, a red blush on you face. Wow, was all of this just because you made fun of kyle for like a millisecond. Not gonna lie, it was kinda nice, you just gotta now make sure to return the favor of the kiss later.

#south park #south park x reader #x reader #first kisses #hcs #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #south park stan #south park kyle #south park kenny #south park eric cartman #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #first kiss hcs #requested x reader #requested

[kenlvry]

"you like me??!!!"

s, in which you ask mysterion if he knows a kid by the name kenny mccormick and then proceeds to say you have a crush on this kid kenny. f!reader, kenny is unhooded, 16-17.

you always hung out with stan and craigs gang. you weren't in anyone's cliques,, you were just inbetween. sometimes with stans gang sometimes with craigs.

but you still couldn't befriend kenny mccormick. he was usually quiet around you, even though you two were always together you couldn't muster up anything to him. he was really attractive and you had the biggest crush on him. he never paid you any attention though, and you too didn't. you thought he hated you so you try to avoid him to make his life easier.

"dude he doesn't hate you," "idk stan, its like he doesn't even acknowledge me, he only ever talks to me if im with you guys" you sigh "maybe he does hates you lol" "cartman shut up. look y/n take your time, he can be hard to open up to, he's really nice dw" "yeah i guess youre right kyle, well see you tmr" you waved at he three of them as you part ways. arriving home you sighed, you wonder why kenny hates you so much.

it was around 10 pm now and you smile with anticipation as you open your window wide. usually at this time mysterion visits you, it started happening two weeks after you moved here but you aren't complaining. you talk to him about your frustrations and he just listens ,hes your bestfriend despite you not knowing his identity. you scrolled on your phone while waiting for him and heard him climbing up a secret entry you put for him. "HII" you greet him "hey" he says smiling.

you two talk mindlessly for hours and you decided to bring up your crush to him for advice. "hey can i ask you a question" you stood up from laying down looking at him, he hummed in response. "i have this like huge crush and i dont know what to do, he always ignores me and i know i should move on but I can't get him off my mind its like something or someone is constantly reminding me of him" you rambled.

he raised his eyebrow and his eyes seemed dull when you said you had a crush, growing silent as you complained and just felt jealousy take over. "you should move on, if he ignores you it means he hates you, end of discussion" "dude rude, cmon you dont even know who it is" he stood up from your bed and put his hands on his waist "well if he ignores you he definitely is a bitch, he shouldn't ignore someone without a reasoning. who is this man anyways???" whoever it was kenny was sure to pay a visit at his house to see if he was so handsome that you could fall head over heels for him. "oh its kenny mccormick" "oh him y- WHAT" "idk if you know him though hes like quiet most of the time" "YOU LIKE ME???" "what" he coughs and felt his face flush red "um no i mean continue" "no no i heard that loud and clear wdym you like me??"

kenny was nervously avoiding eye contact now. he didn't know you were trying your best to be his friend, he thought you two were already good friends and thought that you didn't care if he didn't talk to you during school. "i.. ummm..." "wait.. are you kenny!?" you gasp and stood up from your bed covering your mouth "OMG YOU ARE KENNY HOLY SHIT" he was now panicking, he didn't know how you're gonna react.

he sighs "y-yes im sorry i didn't know you were trying to befriend me at school and yk bc i see you at night i didn't really care but i guess i never saw it from your point of view" you were still shocked and continued to cover your mouth, he thought you were so mad at him and that you hated him for lying and ignoring you, he looks down waiting for you to curse at him . "this is so embarrassing omg" huh? he looked up in confusion to you covering your face "can't believe i literally just confessed to you" you were groaning with your ears red. "wait.. you don't care??" "I WOULD IF I DIDN'T JUST CONFESS I NEVER CONFESSED TO ANYONE BEFORE." "uh well.. sorry??? i.." "just leave." "what huh??" "leave myster- kenny i mean" he just leave you to process your thoughts.

the next day at school was so embarrassing you two avoided each other, and when met eye contact you both blush. "i like you too" you turned your head to kenny slouching in his seat hands in his pocket, he turned to face you meeting his eye "i like you too idiot" you slowly smile and blush you two turning away from each other internally blushing not looking over at the other person.

"tf is their problem" "dont know don't wanna know" stan and kyle look at each other confused. looks like theres a new couple in class

#south park #south park kenny #sp kenny #kenny mccormick x reader #sp kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick #kenny x reader

[spookymultimedia]

The Trouble with Marjorine

Marjorine is a closeted trans girl who's only out to Eric and doesn't understand the choices her best friends make with their bodies

Eric paced down the hall with a grimace. Kenny and Marjorine caught up with him.

“Dude, what happened?”

“Nothing, just another fuckface called me a dyke.”

“I mean, maybe it was just an honest mistake, maybe they just assumed you're just another dyke,” mumbled Marjorine.

“No, they fucking yelled at me and said it like I'm fucking trash!! Fuckin ass wipes!” He pushed the door to the locker room open for gym class.

“What's up?” Stan looked over his shoulder.

“Eric got misgendered again.” Marjorine answered.

“They called me a dyke!.” Cartman grunted and slipped off his shirt and took out his shirt for gym.

“Oh.” Stan said as he slipped on deodorant.

“Well ya know they- they wouldn't call you that if you did something about- you know.”

“What!? My tits!? Are you still too scared to say what they are!?”

“I'm just sayin you'd have a lot less trouble if you bind your chest like Kenny does!!”

“We've been through this, I don't want to bind!”

Kyle walked in late and ripped off his shirt and yanked out his gym shirt as he listed up to catch up on the gossip or whatever.

“Well if you're not gonna make an effort people are just gonna keep assumin’ you're a female!! I'm trying to help you!”

Kyle froze and stared at the two friends wide eyed, he glanced over at Stan as if to say ‘dude,are you seeing this shit?’ Stan glanced mutually back at him just as stunned. Kenny looked at the floor awkwardly.

“No! No!! Fuck off!”

“What?”

“I'm not gonna fuckin explain it, you know you’re wrong!! Don't play fuckin stupid with me!” He slammed his locker shut and made her flinch. He quietly tied up his shoes.

“What did I say?”

“Shut the fuck up.” He mumbled and walked out.

“WHAT THE FUCK BUTTERS?!” Stan yelled. Marjorine flinched at her birth name, not to mention it wasn't often Stan raised his voice like that. She knew she fucked up now.

“Stan- Stan I'm sorry- I.”

“Don't say fucking sorry to him! Say it to Cartman!” he shouted. Kyle simply side eyed her and waited on Stan.

“I don't understand-.”

“Butters. He has told you multiple times he's not going to bind his chest and you haven't gotten off his back about it-.” Stan snapped out with a glare.

“But he's gonna get misgendered as a female if he looks femal- !”

“That's his fucking choice. How other people see him isn't his fucking problem.”

Marjorine hugged herself and started to cry.

“Don't give me those crocodile tears.” Stan breathed out and walked out.

“Kenny, aren't you gonna get dressed?” Kyle asked.

“No. My period.” Kenny sheepishly explained.

“Oh, okay man.” Kyle trailed after Stan and left.

Kenny Mccormick started to cry.

“Ken? Kenny, are you hurtin?”

Kenny shrugged. Marjorine pulled him into a hug and he leaned into it. ‘God he's pretty. How could someone so pretty say something so awful?’ he thought to himself.

“Butters?” Kenny mumbled.

“Yeah Ken?”

“What if- What if didn't get top surgery?”

Marjorine blinked at him.

“Now why on earth would you say that? Is it the money?? We can raise the money just like that. I just know it. I could steal someone's credit card number for ya”

“It’s- it's not that.”

“You're sayin even if you had the money you- you wouldn't get it?”

He shook his head timidly.

“Now why not? Kenny, you need this surgery!”

“I don't think- I just- it's not possible.”

“What!? Are you just gonna bind your chest forever??!”

Kenny hiccuped. He felt his throat feel tighter.

“I was- I was thinking I could stop wearing binder once on T. . .” He forced out the words slowly, as talking about this was draining him.

“Say what!?”

“I- I think- less dysphoric, with right hormones. Good body build and hair.” He stammered out.

“People are gonna think you're a freak!”

“I don't care!!” Kenny yelled and winced. He hugged himself in a grimace at the cramping. He made a whimpering sound.

“Kenny, I know we can get you top surgery if we really try!”

He shook his head slowly.

“What? But, you hate them!”

He shrugged.

“Top surgery is necessary, you're a trans male Kennth!!”

Kenny stood up and ran off, leaving her alone in the room. She hugged herself and choked out a quiet sob. She felt so confused and frustrated with herself. Why was it that everyone was treatin dysphoria like it isn't a serious condition? A condition that she was suffering from!! She could feel the flatness of her chest against her shirt and it was killing her knowing something that should be there was missing. She almost felt like she would never be safe enough to free herself from the true dysphoria she felt. Not like those so called trenders that made her community look ridiculous. She shuddered out a sigh before pulling herself together, putting her male persona together and facing the world again.

#south park #south park fanfiction #marjorine stotch #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #a little bit of Kenjorine #Kenny is trans and Eric is intersex #kyle broflovski

[space-cowbo7]

the arcane; part one

pairing: kenny mccormick/mysterion x reader

cw: slight mention of eating disorder

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an expired bird lays on the sidewalk next to me. when i see it's cold, dead feathers stuck to the icy ground i'm reminded of a deceased birds meaning.

bad luck.

which is perfect, because it's my first day back at school, and what better to start it off than with a dead bird?

i wait at the end of a short line for the bus. people around me discuss class schedules and how excited they are to be seniors. my eyes are affixed to my feet, but my ears are picking up every word said in my radius.

a lot of "how was your summer?" and "what's your lunch block?"

a broad shoulder aggressively bumps into me from behind, pushing past me in line.

"hey! fat ass, you can't just skip ahead in line-" wendy testeburger, who was only nice for the show of it, called out to the guy who cut me in line.

i back up a bit to let him in, not really giving a shit.

"see, they don't mind." the boy, who's name is eric cartman, grins at an angry wendy, before she huffs and turns back toward her friends.

eric has always been a dick to me. especially since the only person i actually talk to at school is his ex, heidi turner. she was like me, quiet and sticks to the background.

she didn't used to be, though.

heidi was a cheerleader, loved by everyone, and then she got ruined by eric's manipulative personality. and since i have a soul, i took her in after all the other girls rejected her.

so now, she's my best friend. well, my only friend. which is okay with me. i enjoy my life, my quiet life.

"hey-" a blunt voice speaks from behind me.

i look up to see the bus parked and a large gap in the line where i wasn't paying attention. i quickly scramble onto the bus, finding the first empty seat. my hood is thrown over my hair, and i tightly pull the strings to hide my face.

that's so fucking embarrassing.

i'll be thinking about that all day now.

once the bus doors close, i realize i got away with sitting alone. a sigh escapes my lips as the bus starts to move.

just when it starts to move, though, it stops. confused heads poke up from behind the bus seats, as an out of breath kenny mccormick makes his way on. he's wearing his usual thick orange hoodie.

i look at the empty spot next to me, and my heart starts to speed up. there's no other seats on the bus, so he'll have to sit here.

i glance up over the seat, slumped against the cold window. kenny's eyes meet mine for a split second and i quickly look away.

"guess i'm sitting here." he plops down next to me, and i pull on my drawstrings tighter. kenny, though, has his legs stretched out in the middle of the walkway, talking to his friends about why he was late.

my breathing steadies itself as the bus starts to move again. kenny sits far enough away that it didn't feel like i was sitting with him at all. which i appreciate.

after a minute of overthinking, i decide to start doing what i do best. listening to other people.

"i don't know what's wrong with it, it just stopped going."

"isn't it kind of ironic how kenny's the poorest out of all of us but he's the only one with a vehicle?"

"shutup, cartman." kenny laughed. "my dad just fixed it up for me."

"yeah, besides, i've got a car." kyle broflovski butt in, his voice laced with its usual annoyance.

"it's your dads car, jew." cartman bit back.

"relax, guys. and kyle, it's okay to admit i'm cooler than you." kenny says with a shit eating grin.

"body count doesn't equal popularity, ken." kyle shakes his head.

"no, but if it did i would be the coolest." kenny laughs.

i smile a little, a small chuckle coming from my throat. as soon as the sound escapes my mouth, i cover it. its too late, however, and kenny's head turns to me.

"something funny?" he has the same stupid smile on his face.

"sorry- i didn't mean-" i can't talk. i'm way too uncomfortable with the position i put myself in.

"shut up, they don't think you're funny." eric crosses his arms at him. i just turn my face back to the window, my eyes closing tightly.

i'm so tired of being treated like an object.

the bus slows down and people start to stand up in their seats, despite the bus driver's yelling. i slip my headphones on and get up with the rest of the crowd.

behind me a kid is pushing onto my back. i have to keep my breathing calm so i don't freak out. my shoulders are tense as i waddle down the isle, out the bus door.

"y/n!" heidi calls in her soft voice.

i give her a small smile and pause my music. "hey, heidi."

"you ready for a new year?" she asks as i walk with her to our shared first class, a two-hour block of photography.

"i thought i was. but i've already embarrassed myself so much today." i think back to the bus ride. "i was sitting close to your dumb ex boyfriend."

"it'll be okay, at least we get to see miss windsor again!" she pokes my side, earning herself a tiny smile from me.

miss windsor is like a second mom to me. as my photography instructor for the last four years, we got close. i'm not one to brag, but im her favorite. she always shows my photos as examples, and she lets me and heidi stay in her room during our lunch block.

i nod as i think about seeing ms. windsor.

"you're right, heidi."

we get to the art room doors, and i breathe in the strong paint scent. this room always made me feel comfortable. at home. like a second bedroom.

heidi and i take a table in the back of the studio, the same table we'd sit at every other year. not that many of the students paid much attention to us, even the art students.

"why, it's my two favorite students!" miss windsor comes up to the table, greeting me and heidi.

"hi, miss windsor." i smile before pulling out my sketchbook.

"you think of a theme for your last opening project?" she plainly glances over at my sketchbook, which is just filled with picture concepts.

every year, windsor does an opening project where you basically do a mini portfolio on one subject or theme. with each picture you have to write a story or explain what's happening, kind of like journaling.

windsor always gave me good grades on the opening project, last year i did my project on the social construction of food and people's bodies. it was my favorite project i've ever done, although it did hit a little close to home.

"i'm not sure." i sigh. usually i have my project outline done by the first day, but i was really racking my brain on what to write about.

"that's okay." windsor gave a quick smile. "you always think of something."

several other students come through the doors, taking tables around ours. the late bell rings and i do my yearly study around at the class.

its a small class, ten people to be exact. just the way i like it. more people means more attention on me.

"okay guys, welcome back for another great year!" windsor starts, pulling up a slideshow to present the project idea.

i listen and doodle more in my sketchbook. heidi leans into me, looking down at my pencil.

"who's that?" she points to a small figure i had drawn a couple days prior.

"oh. it's that mysterio guy."

"mysterion?" heidi laughs.

"yeah. i saw him a couple days ago when i was at the police station."

"what were you doing at the police station?"

"waiting for my dad." i mutter. my dad’s a night traffic cop, working for the south park police department.

that night i was waiting for him to finish up on some paperwork, sitting in the lobby of the station. i was sketching when a tall figure walked past in a dark purple hood.

i couldn't help but draw him as he spoke to the police chief about something. i couldn't be bothered to listen to that conversation.

"wow i can't believe you saw him." heidi continues.

"why?" i stop my sketching and turn toward her. miss windsor continues to talk in the background.

"well.. you know. he's a mysterious hero." she swoons.

"i don't really see the appeal." i turn back to my book, looking at the picture of the mystery man in the corner.

i lay my head in my hands and decide to listen to windsor for the rest of her lecture. same as every other year.

"any questions guys?" she shuts off the projector and looks out to all ten of us. the room is quiet and for a second i think i can hear jimmy valmer's breathing.

"okay." she smiles awkwardly. "so today will be a brainstorming day.. try to talk to some people you don't know, they could give you ideas."

when she says that, her eyes are on me. as much as i love windsor, i want to claw her eyes out after that statement. little dramatic, but that's just how it goes.

i wait for the rest of the class to begin talking before i turn to heidi.

"what are you doing yours on?" i assume she already knows, since we usually brainstorm together.

"we've got a family of bunnies living in our yard at home. i think i'm gonna make them my subject." heidi always did her projects on animals. she has a love for animals unlike anyone else i've seen, i really admire her for it.

"that's perfect for you." i send her a smile.

"miss windsor?" my smile falls when the principal stands in the doorway, holding the collar of a frustrated kenny mccormick.

i watch as windsor's head perks up and she scurries her way to the door. i can't quite hear what they're talking about, but i can tell it's serious.

"alright, kenneth sit wherever you'd like." windsor speaks softly to the teen. since it was such a small class, i didn't feel worried at all that he'd try and sit with me and heidi.

however, as soon as the thought entered my mind, he was walking closer towards us. the same aching feeling from earlier hits me hard as he draws closer.

my eyes shoot straight down to my sketchbook, hoping that if i don't make accidental eye contact he won't notice me.

"mind if i sit here, ladies?" his voice is rough and slow, and more mature than most of the other guys at school.

"sure, kenny." heidi smiles at him and gestures to the seat across from me.

"thanks, heidi. and uh.. is that alright with you?" i feel him look at me.

i don't move my head, but instead glance up through my eyelashes.

"yeah, that's fine." i manage to get out.

he smiles genially, pulling out the chair and slumping down in it. my eyes are back on my paper within seconds, and my desire for conversation leaves my mind.

"so what's this project we're doin?" kenny leans his head in, his arms stretch across the table. he's not going to leave us alone.

"how did you get into this class anyway? this is photo four." heidi questions, but her tone is still sweet. even when heidi is condescending she's a sweetheart.

"got in a dumb argument with my first hour teacher." kenny shakes his head before pulling out a notebook.

"what's that you're doin?" he gestures to my sketches.

"um-" i start with wide eyes. "just some concept sketches of pictures i might take." i cover some of the page with my oversized hoodie sleeve.

"yeah! they're really talented-" heidi points to the mysterion sketch. my hands instinctively fly over the drawing.

"woah, you like mysterion?" kenny raised his eyebrows at me.

"no!" i scoff, albeit kind of rudely. "i just saw him at the police station and.. i just draw what i see."

"that's so cool." he starts drawing rectangles in his notebook, trying to copy my method.

i can't tell if i should be annoyed or flattered that he's imitating my style. well, trying to. i watch his slim fingers grasp the pencil, slowly dragging across the page.

"like.. that?" he slides his page toward me, and we make quick eye contact before i scan over his concepts.

one of them has a bush of flowers in the corner, and a sunset in the background. even though there isn't color, i can imagine the picture as if it were taken with a camera.

another one is of a fish. a small fish in the middle of the page, nothing else surrounding it. although it's small, the fish seems to have a frown. i can't help but see the melancholy feeling it's portraying.

the last one is the biggest. it's of a girl with a long frown, but she's holding a comedically large lollipop.

"this one's cool.. who's the girl?" i say after working up the courage.

"it looks like you." heidi cranes her neck to look at the page.

kenny can be heard snickering across the table. i lift my head up to see a mischievous grin on the boy.

"it is you."

"why am i frowning?"

"i just draw what i see." he pushes his hood back, revealing his blonde shag mullet.

offended, i push his paper back across the table and go back to working on my own project. my lips protrude as i sketch out another piece. the whole time my mind is screaming about how shitty this year is going to be.

that goddamn dead bird.

————————————————

#south park #kenny mccormick #mysterion #fanfic #south park fanfiction #kenny mccormick x y/n #kenny mcormick x reader #x reader

[super-secret-clown-corner]

catching up on the kabsmp videos rn and i'm having normal person thoughts as usual anyway did you guys ask for a crazy ass idea on where i think the storyline is gonna go because i have a crazy ass idea on where i think the storyline is gonna go (this is gonna get long sorry in advance)

In Which I Lose My Mind Over Some Guy's Minecraft Persona In A Goofy Ahh Lore SMP

cover image for sillies

So. Hear me out. Clown is still the overarching villain of the series. Whatever's happening with Kyle and the void is still """""important"""""" n stuff, but (totally not because i'm biased or anything (i totally am)) that's all a red herring covering up the real threat. The idea I have rn is that Clown is biding his time and finishing up whatever research he had on the void, then when Kyle is defeated, he's gonna swoop in, take the void for himself, and become basically unstoppable which'll lead into season 3 or smth.

Bits Of Info That Makes The Pepe Silvia Meme Cover Relevant

Time to be insane and dump every single bit of potential evidence on why I think Clown's a bigger threat than the others think he is, starting at the very beginning (i'll try to keep this as chronological as possible but i'm busting my brain trying to piece everything together i watched this so out of order at first).

First, obviously, is the whole him killing Pyro bit and betraying him to get to Rae, then killing everyone in the commune. hoWEVER bro just casually tore open a portal to the nether and back and none of the other people in the group can do that. It's kinda hinting that Muu knows how to make portals but other than that the original s1 group has been stuck there since the start (which maybe suggests Muu isn't from this dimension also but that's another thing to unpackage).

a side note here: lincu came from an end portal that clown made for maddy and they NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN????????? WHAT

In the Pyro POV that came after that, it was heavily suggested that Clown was originally a conqueror or insanely destructive pillager (not the actual mob) (like come on, "bow before the scythe emblem" or whatever the words are? just write your name in the book you're practically screaming it at this point). Then, when Branzy showed up in that cameo episode, he didn't shut up about how Clown destroyed entire villages and killed a fuck ton of people (i will scream more about this point in a second 😁).

In the Season 2 opener animatic, he dropped his manipulative buddy buddy act the moment the void appeared, stabbed Kaboodle, and fucked off. He was also shown going full aggro on Magic, trying to get information about the void from her. A little while later, he's shown reading books on the void and finds something "perfect" for whatever he's planning (brain explosion).

Looping back to the Branzy cameo, it was revealed that he, Branzy, and Ashswag worked together in a laboratory somewhere in a different dimension researching and experimenting with portals. Ashswag said that Clown pushed him into one they made, which resulted in him glitched out and broken (WHICH OPENS UP ANOTHER CAN OF WORMS ARE THEY SUGGESTING THAT THIS IS ALL ACTUALLY JUST A SIMULATION/GAME LIKE HOW MINECRAFT ACTUALLY IS???????????? holy shit if i think about this for too long i'm gonna have another huge scream fest again).

and THEN in the most recent one as of today (aka A New Issue) it's revealed that Pyro had his suspicions that Clown is otherworldly and unnatural. Bro casually soloed a 100-Piglin invasion. I already had the thought of "oh yeah this guy's definitely not from any of the three dimensions" but the only contradictory thing that popped up for that was he and Pyro used to live together for a bit with the Waste Walkers. HOWEVER with this new information that Clown was just this anomaly that popped up periodically in their group, he's practically screaming that he's not from any of the three dimensions.

BASICALLY. I'M VERY NORMAL RIGHT NOW.

i love overcomplicating silly lore as a pastime

#hello lifesteal fans on my blog go watch kabsmp also 👍‼️ #the guy in the cover image (besides tiny clown) is my silly jester oc goober #(i've been posting him a lot on my mainblog) #(i'd advertise but i want to keep them Separate As Hell) #he can be this blog's mascot as a treat #kaboodlesmp spoilers #kaboodle smp spoilers #kaboodlesmp theory #i hope these tags exist and have been used before scream cries #the jester speaks #the jester's writing #long post #yeah you know what? maybe i WILL character maintag to spread kabsmp propaganda #clownpierce #mwahaha

[msith]

I am so sorry but *pulls some glasses on* delete this ask if you are uncomfortable

🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

The original Sonic.exe story centers on Tom, a young man who was a big fan of Sonic the Hedgehog, especially the older games. He claimed that he had not played any glitchy or hacked games before, though he admitted that he didn't want to after an experience he had.

He then proceeded to recount his experience, saying how he received a CD and an accompanying letter from his friend Kyle, begging him to destroy the disc before it's "too late" and not to play the game.

Ignoring his friend's warnings, Tom played the game and began to encounter odd, somewhat disturbing phenomena, from a title card featuring an evil-looking Sonic with bloody eyes and glowing pupils with a wide smile to the presence of a file select screen similar to that of the one in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, with a red background and chilling music playing.

As he picked the only available character, Tails and began the first stage, titled "HILL ACT 1", Tom continued to find more evidence that there was something wrong with the game, namely the copious amounts of dead animals, all murdered in gruesome ways and eventually encountering Sonic at the end of the level, standing completely still and with his eyes closed.

When Tails attempted to get his attention during a cutscene by tapping him on the shoulder, Sonic's eyes opened, identical to the Sonic on the title screen before cutting to black, with the message "Hello. Do you want to play with me?" In the next level, "HIDE AND SEEK", Tom witnessed Sonic chasing Tails, the latter flying despite an inability to do so without a Super form, before disappearing, teleporting in front of the distraught fox and killing him and cutting to black.

Shocked, Tom reads the next message, "YOU'RE TOO SLOW. WANT TO TRY AGAIN?". After playing as Knuckles and losing a supposed "boss battle" with Sonic, Tom decided to take a break from the game.

However, his rest was plagued by nightmares featuring the corrupted Tails and Knuckles, and the demonic Sonic, with him waking in a cold sweat. Returning to the game, Tom picked Robotnik from the file select screen and continued with the game.

At the end of the level, Sonic teleported in front of Robotnik, before the screen cut to red static. Then, a "hyper-realistic" image of Sonic appeared on the screen, with the words "I AM GOD!". After the game ended, Tom turned around to find, to his utter horror, a bloodied Sonic plushie on his bed. Tom's fate is ambiguous

🤓 that's all you can do????

BEN Drowned, or Haunted Majora's Mask, is a well-known creepypasta (and later, an alternate reality game) created by Alex Hall, also known as "Jadusable". The story revolves around a Majora's Mask cartridge that is haunted by the ghost (if it is a ghost) of a boy named Ben.

Okay, /x/, I need your help with this. This is not copypasta, this is a long read, but I feel like my safety or well-being could very well depend on this. This is video game related, specifically Majora's Mask, and this is the creepiest shit that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

Having said that, I recently moved into my dorm room starting as a Sophomore in college and a friend of mine gave me his old Nintendo 64 to play. I was stoked, to say the least, I could finally play all of those old games of my youth that I hadn't touched in at least a decade. His Nintendo 64 came with one yellow controller and a rather shoddy copy of Super Smash Brothers, and while beggars can't be choosers, needless to say it didn't take long until I became bored of beating up LVL 9 CPUs.

That weekend I decided to drive around a few neighborhoods about twenty minutes or so off campus, hitting up the local garage sales, hoping to score on some good deals from ignorant parents). I ended up picking up a copy of Pokemon Stadium, Goldeneye (fuck yeah), F-Zero, and two other controllers for two dollars. Satisfied, I began to drive out of the neighborhood when one last house caught my attention. I still have no idea why it did, there were no cars there and only one table was set up with random junk on it, but something sort of drew me there. I usually trust my gut on these things so I got out of the car and I was greeted by an old man. His outward appearance was, for lack of a better word, displeasing. It was odd, if you asked me to tell you why I thought he was displeasing, I couldn't really pinpoint anything - there was just something about him that put me on edge, I can't explain it. All I can tell you is that if it wasn't in the middle of the afternoon and there were other people within shouting distance, I would not have even thought of approaching this man.

He flashed a crooked smiled at me and asked what I was looking for, and immediately I noticed that he must be blind in one of his eyes; his right eye had that "glazed over" look about it. I forced myself to look to his left eye instead, trying not to offend, and asked him if he had any old video games.

I was already wondering how I could politely excuse myself from the situation when he would tell me he had no idea what a video game was, but to my surprise he said he had a few ones in an old box. He assured me he'd be back in a "jiffy" and turned to head back into the garage. As I watched him hobble away, I couldn't help but notice what he was selling on his table. Littered across his table were rather… peculiar paintings; various artworks that looked like ink blots that a psychiatrist might show you. Curious, I looked through them - it was obvious why no one was visiting this guy's garage sale, these weren't exactly aesthetically pleasing. As I came to the last one, for some reason it looked almost like Majora's Mask - the same heart-shaped body with little spikes protruding outward. Initially I just thought that since I was secretly hoping to find that game at these garage sales, some Freudian bullshit was projecting itself into the ink blots, but given the events that happened afterward I'm not so sure now. I should have asked the man about it. I wish I would have asked the man about it.

After staring at the Majora-shaped blot, I looked up and the old man was suddenly there again, arms-length in front of me, smiling at me. I'll admit I jumped out of reflex and I laughed nervously as he handed me a Nintendo 64 cartridge. It was the standard grey color, except that someone had written Majora on it in black permanent marker. I got butterflies in my stomach as I realized what a coincidence this was and asked him how much he wanted for it.

The old man smiled at me and told me that I could have it for free, that it used to belong to a kid who was about my age that didn't live here anymore. There was something weird about how the man phrased that, but I didn't really pay any attention to then, I was too caught up in not only finding this game but getting it for free.

I reminded myself to be a bit skeptical since this looked like a pretty shady cartridge and there's no guarantee it would work, but then the optimist inside me interjected that maybe it was some kind of beta version or pirated version of the game and that was all I needed to be back on cloud nine. I thanked the man and the man smiled at me and wished me well, saying "Goodbye then!" - at least that's what it sounded like to me. All the way in the car-ride home, I had a nagging doubt that the man had said something else. My fears were confirmed when I booted up the game (to my surprise it worked just fine) and there was one save file named simply "BEN". "Goodbye Ben", he was saying "Goodbye Ben". I felt bad for the man, obviously a grandparent and obviously going senile, and I - for some reason or another - reminded him of his grandson "Ben".

Out of curiosity I looked at the save file. Eyeballing it, I could tell that he was pretty far in the game - he had almost all of the masks and 3/4 remains of the bosses. I noticed that he had used an owl statue to save his game, he was on Day 3 and by the Stone Tower Temple with hardly an hour left before the moon would crash. I remember thinking that it was a shame that he had come so close to beating the game but he never finished it. I made a new file named "Link" out of tradition and started the game, ready to relive my childhood.

For such a shady looking game cartridge, I was impressed at how smoothly it ran - literally just like a retail copy of the game save for a few minor hiccups here and there (like textures being where they shouldn't be, random flashes of cutscenes at odd intervals, but nothing too bad). However the only thing that was a little unnerving was that at times the NPCs would call me "Link" and at other times they would call me "BEN". I figured it was just a bug - a fluke in the programming causing our files to get mixed up or something. It did kind of creep me out though after a while, and it was around after I had beaten the Woodfall Temple that I regrettably went into the save files and deleted "BEN" (I had intended to preserve the file just out of respect of the game's original owner, it's not like I needed two files anyway), hoping that that would solve the problem. It did and it didn't, now NPCs wouldn't call me anything, where my name should be in the dialogue there was just a blank space (my save file name was still called "Link", though). Frustrated, and with homework to do, I put the game down for a day.

I started playing the game again last night, getting the Lens of Truth and working my way towards completing the Snowhead Temple. Now, some of you more hardcore Majora's Mask players know about the "4th Day" glitch - for those who don't you can Google it but the gist of it is that right as the clock is about to hit 00:00:00 on the final day, you talk to the astronomer and look through the telescope. If you time it right the countdown disappears and you essentially have another day to finish whatever you were doing. Deciding to do the glitch to try and finish the Snowhead Temple, I happened to get it right on the first try and the time counter at the bottom disappeared.

However, when I pressed B to exit the telescope, instead of being greeted by the astronomer I found myself in the Majora boss fight room at the end of the game (the trippy boxed in arena) staring at Skull Kid hovering above me. There was no sound, just him floating in the air above me, and the background music which was regular for the area (but still creepy). Immediately my palms began to sweat - this was definitely not normal. Skull Kid NEVER appeared here. I tried moving around the area, and no matter where I went, Skull Kid would always be facing me, looking at me, not saying anything. Nothing would happen though, and this kept up for around sixty seconds. I thought the game had bugged or something - but I was beginning to doubt that very much.

I was about to reach for the reset button when text appeared on my screen: "You're not sure why, but you apparently had a reservation…" I instantly recognized that text - you get that message when you get the Room Key from Anju at the Stock Pot Inn, but why was it playing here? I refused to entertain the notion that it was almost as if the game was trying to communicate with me. I started navigate the room again, testing to see if that was some sort of trigger that enabled me to interact with something here, then I realized how stupid I was - to even think that someone could reprogram the game like this was absurd. Sure enough, fifteen seconds later another message appeared on the screen, and again like the first one it was already a pre-existing phrase "Go to the lair of the temple's boss? Yes/No". I paused for a second, contemplating what I should press and how the game would react, when I realized that I couldn't select no. Taking a deep breath, I pressed Yes and the screen faded to white, with the words "Dawn of a New Day" with the subtext "||||||||" beneath it. Where I was ported to filled me with the most intense sense of dread and impending fear I had ever experienced

The only way I can describe the way I felt here is having this feeling of inexplicable depression on a profound scale. I am normally not a depressed person, but the way I felt here was a feeling that I didn't even knew existed - it was such a twisted, powerful presence that seemed to wash over me.

I appeared in some kind of weird twilight-zone version of Clock Town. I walked out of the Clock Tower (as you normally do when you start from Day 1) only to find that all of the inhabitants were gone. Usually with the 4th Day glitch you can still find the guards and the dog that runs around outside the tower - this time they were all gone. What replaced them was the ominous feeling that there was something out there, in the same area as me and that it was watching me. I had four hearts to my name and the Hero's Bow, but at this point I wasn't even considered for my avatar, I felt that I personally was in some kind of danger. Perhaps the most chilling thing was the music - it was the Song of Healing, ripped straight from the game itself, but played in reverse. The music would get louder, building up so as if you should expect something to pop out at you, but nothing ever did, and the constant loop began to wear on my mental state.

Every now and then I would hear the faint laugh of the Happy Mask Salesman in the background, just quiet enough so that I wasn't sure if I just hearing things but just loud enough to keep me determined to find him. I looked in all four zones of Clock Town, only to find nothing.... No one. Textures were missing, West Clock Town had me walking on air, the entire area felt... broken. Hopelessly broken. As the reverse Song of Healing repeated for what must have been the 50th time, I just remember standing in the middle of South Clock Town realizing that I had never felt so alone in a video game before.

As I walked through the ghost town, I don't know whether it was the combination of the out of place textures and the atmosphere and the haunting melody of the once peaceful and soothing song being butchered and distorted, but I was literally on the verge of tears and I had no idea why. I hardly ever cry, something had gripped me here and this powerful sense of depression that was both foreign and crippling.

I tried leaving Clock Town, but every time I attempted to zone out, the screen would fade to black and I would just zone in to another part of Clock Town. I tried playing my Ocarina, I wanted to escape, and I did NOT want to be here, but every time I played the Song of Time or Song of Soaring it would only say "Your notes echo far, but nothing happens". By this point, it was obvious the game didn't want me to leave, but I had no idea why it was keeping me here. I didn't want to go inside the buildings, I felt that I would be too vulnerable there to whatever I was terrified of. I don't know why, but I came up with the idea that maybe if I drowned myself at the Laundry Pool I could spawn somewhere else and leave this place.

As I zoned in and ran towards the pool, that's when it happened. Link grabbed his head, and the screen flashed for a brief moment of the Happy Mask Salesman smiling at me - not Link - me with Skull Kid's scream playing in the background and when the screen returned I was staring at the Link Statue from playing the song Elegy of Emptiness. I screamed as the thing just stared back at me with that haunting facial expression. I turned around and ran out and back into South Clock Town, and to my horror the fucking statue followed me in the only way I can compare this is like the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who. Every so often, at random intervals, the animation would play of the statue appearing behind me. It was like the thing was chasing me, or - I don't even want to fucking say it - haunting me.

By this point, I was on the verge of hysterics, but not even once did the thought of turning off the console occur to me, I don't know why, I was so wrapped up in it - the terror felt all so real. I tried to shake the statue, but it would literally appear right behind me every single time. Link started to begin to make weird animations I had never even seen him do before, he would flail his arms around or spasm randomly and the screen would cut to the Happy Mask Salesman smiling again for a brief moment before I was face to face with that fucking statue again. I ended up running into the Swordmaster's Dojo and ran to the back, I don't know why, but in my panic I just wanted some kind of assurance that I'm not alone here. To my dismay I found no one, but as I turned to leave the statue cornered me in the cubby in the back. I tried attacking the statue with my sword but to no avail. Confused, and backed into a corner, I just stared at the statue waiting for it to kill me. Suddenly, the screen flashed again to the Happy Mask Salesman and Link turned to face my screen, standing upright mirroring the statue, looking at me along with his copy. Literally staring at me. Whatever was left of the 4th wall was completely shattered while I ran out of the dojo terrified. Suddenly the game warped me to an underground tunnel and the reverse Song of Healing queued up again as I was given a brief moment of rest before the statue started appearing behind me again... this time aggressively - I could only take a few steps before it would summon behind me again. I hurriedly made my way out of the tunnel and appeared in Southern Clock Town. As I ran aimlessly - in a sheer panic - suddenly a redead screamed and the screen faded to black as "Dawn of a New Day" and "|||||||||" appeared again.

The screen faded in and I was standing on top of Clock Tower with Skull Kid hovering over me again, silent. I looked up and the moon was back, looming just meters above my head, but the Skull Kid just stared at me hauntingly with that fucking mask. A new song was playing - the Stone Tower Temple theme played in reverse. In some sort of desperate attempt, I equipped my bow and fired off a shot at the Skull Kid - and it actually hit him and he played an animation of him reeling back. I fired again and on the third arrow, a text box appeared saying "That won't do you any good. Hee, hee." and I was picked up off the ground, levitated upwards on my back, and then Link screamed as he burst into flames, instantly killing him.

[sunnyie-eve]

2 | Bring us closer

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Mention of rape

| MASTERLIST |

~

This morning Caiden begged to go to work with me so I agreed to keep him off to the side. He was actually just excited to see a small film crew for a tv show.

"Great, Alex is here to watch me get sprayed by a skunk." Johnny smiles as I walk into the building.

"I don't have to join, right? I've been sprayed when I was younger and it was terrible." I look at the crew.

"Nope just watching." Jeff tells me and I'm thankful.

"When you aren't doing anything we wanna have you just watch some of us so we can get close to you. So you feel comfortable around us." Johnny walks over putting his arm around my shoulder.

"That's fine by me. And if I wanna try something anyone is doing, I can right?" I ask them.

"If you want to go for it." Jeff says as they get things set to go.

"Oh, I hope it's okay I brought Caiden today. He begged to come with me." I move over to him.

"I didn't know you have a little brother." Johnny smiles at him.

"He's not, he's my son." I wrap my arms around him but as soon as he sees Chris he takes off.

"I'm sorry for assuming." Johnny apologizes.

"Don't I get it all the time. I had him while in high school because of my ex. It's a long story." I didn't wanna just throw all my personal stuff at him when this is our second time meeting.

"I got time. That's if you wanna tell me." He takes a seat on desk behind him.

"We were at his older friend's party and he made me drink a lot. I wasn't all there and he took advantage of me." I lean against the wall.

"He raped you and got you pregnant." Johnny says not sugar coating it like I do.

"Yeah but I got my world out of it. It's just us two most of the time, along with Chris." I laugh adding him.

"I have a daughter whose four. My ex and I have good relationship so I can see her." He tells me.

"Kyle, Caiden's father, wanted nothing to do with him for six years. Suddenly he pops up on his birthday wanting to try but always gets Caiden's hopes up. Yesterday Caiden told me Kyle went to the school trying to take him out early. For school records he has no father information. When he was born the only dude by my side was Chris. Yeah, Kyle is on record as the father but I gave him my last name."

"Good, he's a piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be apart of Caiden's life. He has a wonderful mother." Johnny gives me a smile.

"You don't even know me." I laugh.

"Chris said a lot trying to get you this job." He laughs standing up straight.

"You still technically don't know me. Especially what kind of mother I am." I cross my arms.

"I don't need to know because I can see it and it's all in the eyes too." He points at them.

"Why you starring so deep into my eyes, man?" I make my eyes wide.

"You're supposed to keep eye contact when having a conversation with someone. Let's get going because I gotta skunk to meet." He grabs my arm pulling me with him.

"Are you coming Caiden or are you gonna stay with Chris?" He asks as we pass the two.

"Chris wanted to show me some things. Is that okay mom?" He asks me.

"I don't care. Chris behave." I point my finger at him.

"Okay, that means I get mama Alex today." Johnny says making me shake my head.

"Don't call me that." I make him laugh.

"You can call me daddy Johnny if you want." He jokes.

"I'll pass. Hi Ryan, Bam." I wave as they walk pass up to go inside.

"Hey, Alex." They wave back.

~

While Johnny talks to the skunk lady I try not to laugh at his face while she informs him about them. "I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to get sprayed by a skunk."

"Hello. Hello, Mr, Skunk. Hi, Mr. Skunk. How are you? Come here, Skunk- AHH!" He gets sprayed and I laugh at me.

"Let him out." The lady tells him.

"Well, damn it, I'm trying to." He just keep get sprayed. "So that's 5 squirts. He's gotta be out after the next one, right?" He asks so we say yes.

When he was done he walks towards us so we back away. "What's wrong?" He laughs coming towards us.

"You smell." I jog backwards.

"We need to bond. Come here." He puts the cage down walking faster toward me.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I point at him as he starts to jog over to me.

"Johnny no!" I run away from him trying to put other crew members between us.

"Fine, fine." He stops walking away from me.

"So Alexandria, you've been sprayed before?" I'm asked.

"Yeah, when I was ten. My brother locked me in our shed with one. It was the worst thing in the world. Any time I see one or smell it I try to get as far away as I can." I laugh.

"Why did you come out today?"

"I walked into the building and Johnny volunteered me to watch." I notice it was too quiet around me then scream as arms are wrap around me and I get picked up.

"You fucking son of bitch!" I curse at him as he rubs he body all over me before letting me go.

I start to cough because all I could smell was skunk now and I couldn't breath clean air. "Fuck you!" I start to punch him.

"Ouch! You hit hard. Ouch!" He tenses up as I keep hitting him.

"Fuck you." I curse as we all get in the van.

"Now you need to take a bath in tomato juice to get that smell off." Johnny gets told.

"We have a problem." Jeff says.

"What?" I ask annoyed.

"We didn't get enough big cans for two people."

I turn my head slowly to look at Johnny and he laughs but puts his arms up as I pull mine back to punch him again.

For the bath situation Johnny was gonna use most of the tomato juice because he was actually sprayed while I was hugged by him.

"Gonna strip all the way down right in front of me?" I laugh as he gets undressed.

"It's gonna bring us closer." He gets fully nude. "I'll try to save you some." He runs to the bathroom.

As I sit outside, because I couldn't get the smell on anything, I hear the crew yell my name.

"Alexandria! Johnny's about to pour the last can on him so you won't have any!"

"Fuck it." I get undressed staying in my bra and underwear running to the bathroom. "What happened to I'll try to save some for you!" I startle him.

"I am..." He smiles lifting the last can to pour on himself.

"I will get in there with you fucker. I don't care if you're butt ass naked." I excuse myself passing the crew.

"How often do you see two people, one nude and one semi nude, take a tomato bath together?" Johnny asks the camera as I join him in the shower.

"Just pour that on my back because that's were you rubbing yourself all over." I snap my finger at him so he does then dumps it on my head like he did to himself.

"I'm just happy I'm not wearing a white bra." I stare down at myself.

"Rub it into my back?" Johnny turns around.

I look at the camera, "I didn't know this was something I sighed up for when Chris got me this damn job."

"Getting in a shower with a fully nude dude you just met yesterday?" Jeff laughs at me.

"No, rubbing in the tomato juice/sauce whatever for him." I message it into his body than I do myself.

He goes to turn on the water but he doesn't fix the temperature right away. "Ah, that's hot." He backs away from the water moving behind me.

"That's burning me! Why did you push me forward!" I punch him in the chest then fix the water to a warm temperature.

"We'll leave you guys to shower alone. We'll get some new clothes for y'all." The crew leaves us alone.

"Hi." Johnny gives a smile.

"I hate you but can you make sure my whole back is covered?" I put my back to him so he rubs in all around my back.

"I'm surprised you aren't uncomfortable in this situation with someone you barely know." He says still touching my back.

"People hook up with someone they met in a bar one random night, right? Our situation is just weirder." I look back at him.

"You make a good point. Plus you know you work with a cast full of guys so I'm sure your gonna see some dicks at some point. I also respect how respectful you are. Not once have you looked down even for a second." He laughs.

"You're supposed to keep eye contact when having a conversation with someone." I say what he told me earlier making him smile.

"Well this is one bonding experience for us." He changes the topic.

"This already made us super close."

When he was done he gets out putting a towel around his waist. "I'm gonna get fully undressed now because I got tomato in my bra." I let Johnny know.

"Don't worry, I'll be respectful too." He turns his back to me.

I quickly wash the rest of myself before turning off the water so he hands me a towel. "Thank you."

I get out and we both just look at each other. "Are they gonna bring us clothes?" I ask so he opens the door calling out for our clothes.

"Did something happen?" Jeff laughs handing us clothes.

"No, he got out and I took off the rest in the shower then got out." I take the clothes going to change first.

Back at the office Chris asked what happened to my original outfit. "Skunk ass hugged me and rubbed himself all over me so we had to take a shower together." I say as Caiden hangs onto my waist.

"Together?" Chris looks at us.

"I was fully in the nude, she was semi with her bra and underwear till I got out." Johnny adds.

"Well once she sees your dick you're automatically best friends." Chris motions between us.

"I'm elementary he was peeing outside during recess and I turned the corner and saw him." I explain to Johnny.

"And we became best friends that day." Chris kisses my cheek.

#jackass #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #bam margera #steve o #chris pontius #wee man #dave england #ehren mcghehey #preston lacy #jeff tremaine #spike jonze #jackass 2 #jackass 3d #jackass forever #johnny knoxville imagine #johnny knoxville ff #Johnny knoxville fanfic #smut

[basicallyjaywalker]

For the ask game >:3 ✂️❤️

🎨 I know you have OC’s but I know embarrassingly little for being a mutual this long. Hand them over rook :)

Edit: I forgot to say hi 😭 sorry I saw you mentioned OCs and literally just. mind blank got the zoomies started stimming forgot my manners. Anyways

Hello Oli :DDD

One thing I would change: I mean. I would rewrite a lot of the series but mainly I would wanna give Nya a more prominent and starring role early on. Let her have more Samurai X moments and quit putting her on the sidelines while the boys do things!!

Favorite ship? Canonically Pixane ngl. I love Jaya but Pixane is soulmate coded for me I break Jaya up at the drop of a hat for funsies I feel bad breaking up Pixane.

Do I have OCs? You're goddamn right I do I have wayyyyyy too many. I'm working on character sheets for the main ones now but until those are uploaded have a taste!

Nataly Chumsworth: Master of Love, half Serpentine, menace to society. If the name did not clue you in she's Pythor's daughter and they have. A relationship.

Roxie Andrews: Master of Peace, local stressed out mom friend, former student at Marty Oppenheimer's! Old friend of Cole's and someone i imagine Nya being besties with.

Jasmine Bucket/Julien: Master of Nature (secondary: Ice), engineer at Borg Industries, made before Bolobo I swear. Zane's half sister but neither has any clue about that yet

Jackie Fei: Master of Magic (I have a whole system set up for this), chronically tired and depressed but gets to have a glow-up, chaotic good incarnate. My favoritest little blorbo ngl

Hannah Stone: Master of Music (different from sound and again swear she was pre-S4), punk rock girl, Chen's former... student is not the right term. Embodiment of that one audio: "they got their weapon, I got cheated out of my childhood)

Kyle Stone: not an elemental master but a former member of Chen's cult kinda (born into it), instead of masking his trauma with anger like Hannah he masks it with bubbliness, chronic overprotective disease. He and Hannah aren't blood related but they're also the closest thing to family each other has

Master Twyla: Master of Light, the teacher of these fucking kids, trying her best to keep the memory of the former EMs alive. Bops her on the head this bad girl can fit soooooo much trauma she's trying to overcome in her, goddamn

Ivy Crest: Master of Wind except not fully until S5 (thanks Morro), Morro's bio daughter and Ronin's adopted daughter (bet you can't guess who she prefers), expert in forgery and shit at mechanics. She and Nya form a close bond in S5 and Nya continues to try and teach her mechanical stuff (it does not work)

Luna McCallister/Garmadon: Master of Dreams, long lost Garmadon daughter who?, big fucking nerd. I have no idea when she and Lloyd realize their related but it makes their interactions at the comic store beforehand a lot funnier (for reference: she is about 2 years older than him)

Jonathan Borg: heir to Borg Industries, curious about the supernatural elements of Ninjago, knows about something he probably shouldn't. His place is not fully figured out yet but I feel like he's gonna start wanting to prove more useful after S7 to mixed results, esp bc his sister is way cooler than him

Willow Whispernight: yeah check back later chief I am reworking her ENTIRE lore lmao. Currently also connected with nature in some way and Jasmine's step-sister

Ahahaha that isn't even all of them. it's been over a decade I am soooo normal. I do not have *checks notes* approximately 20 OCs, named and unnamed, with various places in stories and development

#ty oli!!!!!!! always glad for an excuse to talk about the gals (and guys) #ask game #oli tag

[jewbeloved]

If Team Stan's s/o was with them during the pre k fire incident💗💗🔥🔥

Part 2 right here

I'm gonna mark this as platonic since this involves the boys being preschoolers and so as you. I should also count this as a fanfic since this post is so long lol.

Warnings: Arson (fire)

Gender: Neutral

💙🧡 The Main Four ❤️💚

You and the boys were all in the same class together.

You were playing on the rug with your f/t (favorite toy)

You have gotten along well with the boys ever since your first day at preschool.

While you were putting up your f/t in the toy box, the boys approached you with a smile on their faces.

"Oh, hey guys!" You waved at them and they all waved back.

"Hey Y/n, we all were thinking if we could play fireman together :3"

"Jews can't be fireman you know"

"Shut up fatass, since when was that a rule?" Kyle poked Cartman's rib.

"Don't call me fat you stupid Jew!!" Cartman gave Kyle a little push.

You giggled at both Kyle and Cartman.

"What's so funny y/n?" Cartman gave you a playful glare.

"Sorry, you and Kyle are both funny when you guys argue and call each other names like that" you continued to giggle.

"Hmmph!" Kyle and Cartman both pouted at the same time at you.

"Mmmmphhmmmmm", (Well guys if we are going to be firemans we need to start a fire).

"Kenny is right you guys"

"How are we going to start a fire?"

The boys turned to face you.

"Y/n, do you have any idea how we can start a fire?"

You tugged at your little f/c scarf while thinking.

"Uhh I'm not really sure.." Cartman groaned.

"That wasn't much help now was it?"

"Don't be mean Cartman! We all have no idea how to start a fire!"

"Alright then, how EXACTLY are we going to start a fire if we all have no clue on how do it?!"

You then scanned the room until your eyes stumbled upon a blonde boy hitting another boy on the hand with a hammer.

"What about that guy over there guys?" They looked at where you pointed at.

"You mean Trent boyett?"

"You know that guy?"

"He's the biggest and bad bully here, but you might not be wrong about him starting a fire for us"

You and the boys approached Trent as he was still hammering the poor boy's hand.

"Trent!" Trent stopped hammering the boy's hand and the boy took this as the chance to run away.

"What do you shit heads want?"

You and the boys looked at each other for a few secs.

"We're playing fireman but we need to start a fire first"

Trent looked at all of you in disbelief.

"Do you assholes even know how to start a fire?"

"Well do you know how to start one?"

"Well sure I do! I burned a lot of stuff before"

"Start one and we will try and put it out!"

"Are you fellas sure this is a good idea?" You heard Butters approaching you all.

"Shut up Butters, we know what we're doing!"

"Oh, okay then.." Butters then walked away.

Trent went slient for a few mins before signing.

"Fine, whatever"

Trent grabbed a piece of paper off the table and crushed it up before pulling out a lighter and setting the paper on fire.

"Woah! Fire!"

"Me first me first!"

Stan went up to the fire while making a fire truck siren noise.

You watched as he pulled down his pants and began peeing on the fire.

The rest of the boys pulled down their pants to and began peeing on the fire with Stan.

"Huh?" You stared in confusion.

"Come on Y/n, help us put out the fire"

Trent also stared in confusion.

"Uh, okay" You went to stand next to Cartman as they continued to "try" and put out the fire.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Drop your pants or shorts down and pee on it"

"And how is peeing on it going to put it out?"

"Come on Y/n, just trust us alright?"

"Okay, but I hope you guys know what you're doing.."

You dropped down your pants/shorts and proceeded to pee on the fire infront of you.

After 1 min, you and the boys pulled up your pants/shorts.

But you all began to stare in confusion at how the fire isn't put out.

"What? Why isn't it going away?"

"Hey! why aren't you guys putting out that fire??"

The teacher ran over after she smelled the smoke of the fire. (I forgot the teacher's name)

"Trent Boyett what have you done now?!"

"They said they could put it out!"

"Children back away from the fire, now!" You all moved out of the teacher's way while she grabs a rug and try to smoother out the fire.

The rug got led on fire and then the fire caught the teacher's dress on fire.

"GAHHH!!!! IM BURNING!!!" You watched in horror as the teacher was running around while on fire.

"Put it out! Put it out!" After the teacher stopped running around and dropped on the floor, the boys ran over to her and dropped their pants again and began peeing on her.

You and Trent stood and watched with the same expression on your faces.

After a short while, you were standing outside of the building with the boys while being surrounded by your other classmates and police officers.

"I'm too young to go to jail!" tears started to fall from your eyes.

"Y/n, y/n! Calm down okay? We will get out of this together" Stan gave you a pat on your back while reassuring you.

The police officers were finished talking to Trent about the incident and they walked over to you and the boys.

"You 5! Trent is trying to tell us that you guys were the ones that started this mess!"

"Not us! We're good kids!"

"Is that so?"

"Tell them it was an accident! You all thought you could put out the fire!"

"Trent Boyett is a liar, sir.."

"I always thought so, come on Trent you're going to juvenile for a long time!" The police officer putted handcuffs on Trent and began dragging him to the car.

"Butters! You saw everything! Tell them what happened!"

Everyone, including you looked at Butters to see what he's about to say.

"I wish I could Trent, but I don't wanna get involved ..my parents will ground me.."

"You better pray that I don't get out of juvenile! You better all pray!!" Trent yelled as the officer threw him into the car and began driving off.

"See Y/n? We are all okay now" Stan wiped the tears off your face while giving you a smile.

"But...what if he comes back? I feel a bit guilty for lying..."

"So? That's like 5 years from now, he won't be coming back for a long time"

Stan removed his arm off of you to give you some space.

The boys began to jump, cheer, and give each other high fives that they had gotten rid of Trent.

They pulled you into a group hug to.

You didn't know how to react that everyone thinks you and the boys are innocent even though you guys are the ones who started this mess.

You might as well and hope that Trent doesn't break out of juvenile to kill you and the boys💙🧡🧡💚💗💗

Should I make a 2nd part to this or nah?

Also this scenario was based off the south park episode 'preschool' <3.

You can watch it here: https://www.wcoforever.net/south-park-season-8-episode-10-pre-school

#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #stan marsh x reader #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #south park #southpark sp #sp x reader #southpark blog #x reader #southpark x y/n #arson #fireman #preschool #platonic #main 4 x reader #southpark scenarios #southpark headcanons

[teekays]

Davo for the character ask thing please!

this one took me so long because i have THINGS to SAY. i have cried in an airport over connor mcdavid. lets begin

First impression

i will be so real when i first got into hockey i totally fell for the like... this guy is the BEST agenda. mostly because i think i noticed that the praise he got was SO strong and i wanted to know what made him so good as opposed to other guys but i also noticed he got a lot of hate for being boring and i was like... they're all boring. why do we hate him for being boring specifically? and that led me on a quest to tease out The Connor Mcdavid Story

Impression now

i'm a mcdefender sorry. i know!! he's the most interesting guy in the world actually. like he IS boring but that is so clearly a purposeful obfuscation of whatever else he's got going on there that he developed because of course you're not going to just have your heart out there in the open as a first overall who's been hyped up for years as the Next One placed on a flop team in a flop city... it's also interesting to have seen that kind of relax a little bit in recent years and i think that relaxing is directly parallel to him becoming a little less like. black and white in his thinking which he very much was for a long time. like he's someone with a very strong sense of right and wrong and very strong ideas about How Things Should Be Done and as that has loosened up (because that's not conducive to like, being alive yknow) and as he's gotten more secure in his position he's gotten a little more willing to put himself out there which is fun. the morals thing does come out sometimes tho in that he will speak up if he feels like he needs to in the name of fairness. also i find his like, earnestness and the ways he's different than the nepo babies of the hockey world to be deeply charming even when they suck. like he's a shill grinding for his money but he's honest about it and i have to respect it. make your terrible millions and have a zero tolerance policy for being irreverent and Too Cool for the media while doing it. go white boy go

Favorite moment

sitting on mitch's lap in the everglades was a foundational babygirlism but also. right after the draft i don't remember who it was but little baby connor freshly in that oilers jersey was like "why are you ripping him to shreds rn he literally just got drafted" it makes my heart break into a million pieces i feel like when spongebob lost gary. because that's sooo... it's not him anymore really. but it will always be him and who he was.

Idea for a story

my sick and twisted mind has been percolating Mccareer ending injury for so long because i would like to see him freed from the shackles of hockey and having to build a life outside of what that means to him. who is connor mcdavid? find out next week when he escapes to a beach for a week and hates it

Unpopular opinion

say it with me now. estrogen could fix him! but also once again i think he is much less miserable than people want to think and if he is then it's justified. he lives in edmonton. you'd be sad too. also i covered this but he's actually a little freak and not boring at all if you know how to look at him!!!

Favorite relationship

i'm a mcstrome warrior til i die hashtag Your dead best friend is walking up the stairs hashtag I ain't a kid no more we'll never be those kids again. that being said i think also him and leon should get married. and another thing this may be also an unpopular opinion BUT i am actually so obsessed w ambitious girlboss lauren kyle and the way she so clearly runs their whole lives and he's so deeply okay with that... i think a common hockey boy trait is kind of always wanting to be told what to do because that's what you've done your whole life but to see someone quietly own it that way is so fun to me. i think she should lean into it and be like the tweet that's like "if two guys were in love with me i would manipulate them into doing gay shit together"/"if i had two boyfriends i'd dress them up like twins" with connor and leon and like leon is there for connor's benefit but she makes him think it's her idea so as not to upset the delicate balance. yknow?

Favorite headcanon

this is also from what we've seen mostly based in fact but he's absolutely dogshit at other sports. like. some guys are athletes and other guys are hockey players and he is absolutely a hockey player to his core. hilarious

#i could have made this even longer like you can't even begin to understand the amount of things i could say abt him #asks

[cevansbaby-dove]

It Happened On New Years Eve (5)

Warnings-None.

You get off work and you see a text from Chris.

Chris-Did you grab BC yet?

Y/N- 😶‍🌫

Chris-Y/N! We didn't use condoms! Shit! Okay, let me get them and bring them to your place.

Y/N-Sorry but you were the one who didn't use one before you..you know..

Chris-I know, Anyway let me run and grab them, i'll be there soon.

Y/N-yes Captain

Y/N-

Chris-

Y/N-

Chris-

You smile at his message and drive to your home.

You to get your place and You walk into your home and set your bag down and say to yourself. "Hmm what do i do now?" You see a text from your bff.

BFF-Hi Y/N you off work yet?

Y/N-Yeas sorry i didn't text you, chris was having a gif war with me! haha, Coffee today?

BFF-Awww! Yea what time works?

Y/N-Well, Chris is coming over to get me some Birth Control so anytime after 3 works for me.

BFF- WHAT!? wait! why is he bringing you BC? Doesn't he use Condoms? 🤨

Y/N-He..kind...of..didn't have any the last time we made out..so..yeah.

Bff-What if you...Gasps! What if you have his baby!? Ahh that would be amazing! 😍

Y/N- Bff i am not ready to be a mom! and if the media saw if i was having a baby they would go fucking crazy!

BFF-Y/N chill! so what if you have his kid? i sure would if i wasn't seeing someone already...

You shake your head and you hear a knock on the front door. You text bff as you walk to the door.

Y/N- Chris is here talk soon.

You open the door and Chris says with a smile. "Hi beautiful." You smile saying. "hey Chris, Come on in please." He walks in and says holding out the bag. "here's you BC."

You take the bag and open it saying as you grab some water. "thanks." Chris looks at you and says. "Sorry about that by the way." You turn around and say. "Um..it's not your fault, I came onto you.."

Chris nods. "Well, if we end up..doing it again then i'll make sure to have protection with me."

You say. "that's something i remember! You had a condom in your pocket, why?" Chris shurgs saying. "i never knew i'd meet a wonderful woman like you so..I don't know why."

You smile and say. "And i never knew i would meet a super handsome man when i was wasted! but, I'm glad I met you too, my life has been great."

You get a text from your bff, you look at the message and smile.

Bff-at the cafe, where are you? busy with CE again? 😏

You roll your eyes as you text her back.

Y/N-OMW sorry, just got the birth control so i'll see you in ten. and no i'm not doing that again, especially if he doesn't have condoms. 🙄

Chris says. 'If your busy i can stop by later." You look up at him and say a you grab your jacket and purse. "yeah sorry Evans, I was meeting my bff for coffee, thanks for the Bc again." Chris smiles saying. "You're welcome dove."

He and you walk out of your place and he says as he opens his car door. "Drive safe." You turn around and say. "I will, thanks." You get into your car and head off.

You get to the cafe and your best friend is at a table and you walk over and say. 'hey sorry I'm late." You sit down and your best friend smiles at you. "You sureee you weren't busy with Chris?" You laugh. 'No i wasn't, not this time at least." She says. "So, I guess you don't want kids?"

You say. 'What? i mean when I'm married to whomever i marry then yes but right now i don't want any plus the press would go fucking nuts finding out i was carrying Chris Evans's Kid!"

You smile and say. 'Anyway let me order then we can chat." You order a tall coffee and the waiter smiles saying. "Okay, what's your name?' You say your name and he smiles saying holding his hand out. 'I'm Kyle, It's nice to meet you Y/N, I love the name." You smile saying. 'Thanks." Your bff says. 'She has a boyfriend man lay off!"

You say. "BFF no that's not true!" Kyle says. "Oh I um..i wasn't trying to hit on you if that's what she meant."

You say. "No it's okay i don't have a boyfriend, i um..god this is crazy." Kyle stands there and says. "Sorry if i came off like i was hitting on you."

He walks away before you can say anything. Your bff says. 'There now he knows." You sigh rubbing your forehead. "Bff he was being nice, not hitting on me, plus i don't have anyone."

Your bff says. "Girl what about Evans? You two are great together hooked up twice now." You say. "it's just friends with...benefits i guess."

Your bff nods saying. "uh uh suree..just wait till he asks you out for a real date." You roll your eyes and grin, Kyle comes back with the drinks and he sets them down saying. "Enjoy ladies." You and your bff thank him and he leaves.

You hear a message on your phone and you look at it.

Chris- Hi, hope i'm not interrupting..

You smile and say. "Bff can i take this?" Your best friend sips her coffee and says. "Why is it Evans?" You blush and your bff says. "Helllllll!! yes go go talk to him...." You text him back.

Y/N-Hey no your ok, what's up?

Chris-Just bored at work ASP, do you want to...go out tomorrow night?

You smile and say. "he just asked me out." Your bff says. "No fucking way!! Girl go!" You text chris.

Y/N- sure im down for that, what should i wear? fancy? casual?

Chris-Depends on if you like to dress up it's up to you. :)

Y/N-Hmm i'll go casual, easier haha.

Chris-sounds like a plan, pick you up at 6 tomorrow, see you then 🫠

Y/N-Okay, see ya!

You turn your phone off and your best friend says. "What happened?" You smile. "he asked me out and we are going out tomorrow at six I can't wait"

You and your bff hang out and talk more, mostly about chris you two are laughing and having fun, you head back home and you feel sick.

You hear a knock on the front door. You slowly walk to the front door and open it, chris smiles at you then says. "Y/N you don't look so good" He touches your cheek and says. "are you ok?"

You nod saying. "yeah i'm okay chris come in" He walks in and says. "You sure? You look sick." You say. "just a cold, Mind having our dinner here?" Chris takes your hand saying. "yeah I don't have a problem with that."

You look at him and smile. Chris kisses my lips softly and says. "I'll order dinner, what do you want?" You bite your lip and say. "um, maybe pizza?" He nods. "pizza it is!" He calls in a pizza order and you get into this outfit.

You walk out and Chris looks at you and says. "Wow!" You smile and say. "Is that a good wow?" Chris smiles. "always!" You say. "so, pizza?" chris says glancing at his phone. "about ten mins, how do you feel?" You look at him. "i feel a bit better, might be that your here." You smile and Chris says. "Thanks for the words"

The pizza gets to your place and you say. "Oh, it smells wonderful" Chris smiles and says pouring wine. "And with your beautiful shadow makes it even better."

You sit down and take a picture of the food and Chris holds his glass to you. "To friendships." You say. "To friendship" You two hit your glasses and you snap a picture of it and put your phone away knowing you'll post it to your Instagram.

You and Chris enjoy the candle light dinner and Chris can't stop smiling at you, you made him so happy and even if you two hooked up twice you can't help fall for him.

Chris says taking your plate. "Do you want to watch a show that i love?" You stand up and say. "Sure what did you have in mind?"

You walk into the living room and sit down. Chris sits by you and you swing your legs on his lap and smile. Chris says. "La Brea, Scott told me about it, he said You might like someone in the show too." He winks. You sit up saying. "Oh my god, are you in it!?"

Chris laughs. "No i wish but no." He turns the show on and you move so your leaning on Chris's chest and he rubs your back as you two watch the show.

You say when you see Gavin "Is that the guy you were talking about?" Chris nods and looks at you. "Yup" You giggle and say. "He is hot but your way better looking over any guy i could see." Chris smiles and says. "Your the cute one" He kisses your head and you say. "Thanks Chrisy your to sweet."

Later that Night You fell asleep and Chris stops the show and looks at you sleeping. He smiles and you both end up sleeping on the couch in each others arms.

Next day.

You wake up and feel sick to your gut and you see Chris lightly snoring. You gently touch his face and smile.

You get up slowly and you rush to the bathroom and throw up. You walk back out and pull up the picture and post it to Instagram.

Your Insagram: @chrisevans Thank you for a great first date night with you, here's to many more sweet guy 🥹

Liked by LisaMarie, Scottsgram and 37M More.

LisaMarie-Aww! So glad he found someone who makes him the happy son i know and love. @Y/N you are a great person.

Y/N-Aw Thanks Mrs Evans! i love being with him, he means the world to me I hope you are well.

Scottsgram-OMFG #relationshipgoals! 🥰

Y/N-@scottsgram 😊 we have you to thank!

ynfan-Ahhhh!! are you guys dating!!?? Omg i stan you two!

chrisyismine2-@ynfan he's mine! Y/N isn't as pretty as me too so poor her, Chris is mine Y/N stay away from him!

You turn your phone off and walk back into the living room and you say. "Chris wake up darling, it's almost eight." Chris rubs his eyes and looks at you and smile. "Morning sexy." You smile and say. "Morning, I thought you'd be heading home last night." Chris sits up. "Yea i wanted to but you looked cute sleeping so i wanted to stay" You smile more and say. "Aw thanks." he kisses your lips and he says. 'I'll make breakfast."

You feel sick again and you don't want chris to worry so you drink some ginger ale and hope it will pass.

Noon.

Chris leaves for filming and you feel sick still so you ask your friend for a pregnancy test.

Your best friend comes over and says with a bag. "You said you are on Birth Control i thought?" You nod. "yeah I am but i want to make sure." You walk into the bathroom and take the test and wait the fifteen minutes and the you pick up the stick and look at it. You gasp seeing two pink lines.

You were pregnant with Chris Evans kid.

Thanks for reading, I know it's so long but i will have more soon.

Taglist.

@cutedisneygrl @patzammit @armystay89

#chris evans x female reader #chris evans x pregnant!reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans series