#sometimes when im not awake my mom will call her to do it instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frizzle-mcshizzle · 3 months

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[crawling towards you, I am translucent pale and my lips are cracked. You feel pity. It’s as though I’ve crawled through the desert just to find you. I reach out]

Dex Dizznee… I need headcanons… [coUGh]… please

this literally the funniest ask ive ever gotten this was amazing to wake up to

you also have amazing timing i have been brain rotting about Stinex (or as im calling it now Copper Mares) for the past two days so hes very much on my mind rn

he's self taught ambidextrous, and intentionally uses it as a pun with his name

he has curly hair and a ton of freckles

while his dad has five older siblings he only has three cousins that are around his age on that side and his family doesn't have a good relationship with his uncle so he doesn't see two of them at all

he has been helping Kesler in Slurps and burps since he was 8, and when he was a baby the first thing that made him laugh was the burping doors

the Dizzee's and Ruewens have weekly movie nights where they will all (including the adults and bodyguards) take turns choosing the movie

he has a collection of human technology that his mom got him that he consistently uses to make better weapons or things that can help around the house

his entire family has panic-switches and he has a master panic switch ring that will let him now whos in trouble where they are located with the projectable screen

he ends up telling Rex he will be talantless after talking to his parents about it, instead of that putting strain on their relationship it made Rex and Dex closer as he did everything he could to make things that would give talentless some kind of ability

he made Livvy a light projection tool so she doesn't have to hold Candles while doing her job

Dex and Stina were friends when they where very little but when the Heks realized that distancing themselves from the Dizznee's would increase their social status they quickly cut them off

when he was growing up he only saw Edaline and Grady during their quarterly exiler refills at slurps and burps, Juline invited them over for dinner more than once but they couldn't handle being around children for that long so they never came.

after he was hit by the melder he couldn't go home for two weeks he was constantly having full body spasms and had constant migraines, the triplets where so worried about him that they took turns visiting and being unnaturally quiet so they could see him

he's terrified of fire but tries not to show it, but when she's around it he can't help but stare at it like it's going to jump out and attack him. hes afraid of Marella after she maifested but doesn't want to be because he know she's wont hurt him. but when he sees her control fire all he can think about is getting burned by brant

when they where kiddnapped he wasn't constantly sedated like Sophie was and remembers much more than she does, he remembers her screams and them forcing sedatives down her throat, he rarely talks about it because no one asks and if he mentions it in front of his parents they get these galzed over looks on their faces and Juline's hands start to ice over, so he stops because hes already put then through enough

he has nightmares that make him wake up screaming, sometimes Lovise will the only one to hear him because he stops before the rest of his family wakes up. she will sit with him and teach him calming techniques that Goblins soliders use, other times his parents would wake up and sit with him for minutes yo hours, sometimes in silence sometimes he would cry, it happens at least once a week, sometimes more.

he has a stuffed griffon Ewlin got him while he was recovering called called feathersworth, he keeps it under his pillow whenever he's sleeping and

sometimes he will stay up into the odd hours of the morning just to avoid going to sleep because he doesn't want to have nightmares, Lovise will have to physically pull him to his bedroom because hes been awake for more than 24 hours and is still fighting sleep

he missed his mom and dad more than anything while he was with the black swan desperately wanting to talk to them. when he found out that Juline was squall it took him forever to forgive her, it put a lot of strain on their relationship and while Juline did her best to make it up to him it, it was just something he had to forgive her for because nothing can make up for that.

he is one of the only people that Tinker will have actual conversations with, and he knows almost as much about her as wraith does, he likes working with her more than lady Iskra because she actually lets him use his unorthodox methods of making things instead of forcing him to make things the traditional way

his extended family has get togethers once a year, not all of Kesler's siblings attend every year but he knows his grandparents very well and spends a lot of time with them

less a headcannon but i think he should lose his arm, his names means righthanded and i think it would be funny if he just didn't have a right hand anymore also because angst

is that enough headcannons, are you alive now, this made me want to write dex's pov when he was kidnapped so...

#ask me about Keslers siblings i dare you #or about Copper mares #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #dex dizznee #kotlc dex #kotlc juline #juline dizznee #kotlc kesler #kesler dizznee #kotlc tinker #kotlc headcannon #kotlc headcanons #kotlc headcannons

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notcolleen · 2 years

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mundane lil family rant for this morning 👌

[[MORE]]

over the summer i had been going over to my family’s/moms house pretty frequently, at least 2-3x a week and weekends to spend time with my mom and make sure everything was okay.

the week of my (and my brothers) birthday, everyone in the house got covid — so we had to cancel our family birthday dinner (it was really casual but we try to do it every year) and i also found out i would be traveling to oregon (and later texas) for work. so i wasn’t able to see my family before that bc they were sick

so then i got back and went over the next day and saw my mom and everything was good!! we caught up and she seemed to be doing pretty well

but then the school year started back up and my current schedule is really split up (with mornings 5:30-8:30 and afternoons 3:30 - whenever the last kid gets picked up until 7 pm lol) — and i have space in between but my mom doesn’t wake up until 2-3 pm most days so going over then would be pointless, and going over past 7 pm would be pointless bc i have to be back here by ~9 to feel like i have any chance of getting to sleep to wake up on time lol

ANYWAY wow so these last two weeks i’ve been texting and calling just to check in, and also calling after work bc if i am going to stop by i want to make sure she’s there/awake/okay

but !

im currently being ghosted by her and she’s not answering my calls and i reached out to my sister bc i was getting worried and apparently she talked to her on the phone yesterday 🫠 so it’s me 🫠🫠 and it’s gotten to the point where now it’s saturday and i can go over but i feel anxious and awkward (and honestly my feelings are hurt???) bc i don’t just want to show up at a place where i am unwanted

but then i think, colleen u are an adult and this is not a child/mother relationship and you also have to see it rationally that your mom is not well and processes thoughts and feelings differently rn bc of her brain deteriorating. i’ve seen it in action that when she decides she is against someone, even for the slightest reason, that’s it — they can’t do anything right and it’s completely black and white in her head. i’ve just never been so outwardly the person in question and it hurts lol

and i think if that is the case, it’s bc there was an issue last week with money accidentally being taken out of her account instead of mine for our phone bill — and im frustrated if that’s it because 1) i immediately sent her the money back and an extra amount for the confusion and 2) ive been paying her 3rd of the bill for the last 3 years bc she isn’t able to, and now money is more of a stressor for me and i’ve asked her to pay when she is able and it has been ignored each time so im paying double and im not always in the position to do that 👹 so the resentment there is …. definitely not hiding lol and i know it but i’ve been doing it bc i know at the end of the day im still in a more stable position financially and will not regret helping her in these ways in the long term, it’s just in the short term sometimes i feel taken advantage of (also to clarify, the phone situation was all communicated through my sister whom she is talking to lol because she was at the house right then — no direct communication through my mom despite sending her the money/asking if she was upset abt it ☠️)

idk this is all a convoluted way of saying im upset that my family still has so much power to hurt my feelings like a child lol

and im also laughing bc she posted this on fb during this whole thing (so i also know health wise, she’s at least somewhat fine bc she’s active on there)

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peggyrose19 · 3 years

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All I Want

I wrote another one :) They’re just so fun. This takes place in the future by about three years. Luke is away at college somewhere and Saint stayed on the island (I think). At some point you may get that whole thing, but for now you just get this. Characters by @lumosinlove

For @im-oknutzy-trash, it’s all going to be okay love

cw: character death mention

Luke stood on the porch staring up at the stars, not sure why he was still awake. It was late, far past midnight. Sleep called to him but he ignored it, instead staying outside, breathing in the crisp air. It was quiet, chilly. It didn’t smell of salt here, the way home did. He missed it.

In that moment, all he wanted was Saint. He knew, he knew he wasn’t supposed to, that he couldn’t want that. Saint was gone from his life now, just the teenage boy from his memory, that had healed his heart and then left it in pieces. And yet. He found himself craving Saint’s touch, the familiar comfort of his body.

But Saint wasn’t there. Saint was on Hogwarts, thousands of miles away, thinking of someone other than Luke. And Luke was stuck here, standing on a porch in the middle of the night cursing up at the stars, wishing for the boy to come save him again.

“Well Tweedle, if I’d known things would get this bad, I would’ve tried harder to get you to stay,” a familiar voice quipped from behind, and for a moment Luke couldn’t move. Everything in him froze, alight with memories Luke whipped around and met Saint’s golden eyes.

“Saint.”

He smiled crookedly. “Hey Luke.”

Luke hadn’t realized he’d moved until suddenly he was in Saint’s arms, face pressed to his shoulder, breathing in the familiar smell of salt that hung to everything Saint owned. He clung to him as if Saint was a lifeline, pulling him from the icy depths of the ocean.

“Saint, what the fuck are you doing here?” Luke asked when he’d finally pulled away.

“I heard about your mom,” Saint replied, and Luke frowned further. “And then you didn’t… you didn’t come home, for the funeral. Lot of people missing you back home.”

Luke had always liked that about Saint: he got to the point. He never sugar-coated anything, never lied for the sake of protecting someone’s feelings. At times it had it’s drawbacks, had led to Luke resenting him at times. But in this moment it was good. Luke didn’t want empty apologies or condolences, shared memories from people he didn’t know.

He wanted Saint. Saint, who knew better than to offer false sympathies, who could hold him close and make the whole world disappear, who had been there for everything and still stuck around. He had wanted the boy that knew him better than anyone and then he had appeared, as if he had read his mind.

That doesn’t explain why you’re here. Or how…” Luke trailed off. He didn’t know how to say it, how to ask the questions plaguing his mind.

“I came for you,” Saint replied, before Luke had a chance to try.

“But why? Why do you still care, after three years? Why bother?”

Saint exhaled forcefully and glared at him. Or tried to. At least some things didn’t change. Like Saint trying to act irritated and Luke laughing at him. But Saint’s next words made it hard to laugh.

“Because it’s you, you fucking idiot. How could I not?” Saint shook his head, voice dropping to a whisper. “How could I not?”

Luke didn’t realize how close they had become until suddenly he had one hand on Saint’s chest, as if holding him at bay and tugging him closer all at once. He heard Saint’s breath catch, felt his own heart race ever faster, and he wanted. Wordlessly, Luke kissed him.

Saint didn’t pull away, which surprised him. Luke hadn’t expected to get this far, had expected Saint to push him away and hide his pain with humor the way he always did. But that didn’t happen this time. Instead, Saint kissed him back, gentle and soft, the taste of honey on his lips Somehow Saint’s hands found his hair, running through his unruly curls, and Luke let himself sink into Saint, into his intoxicating heat, so familiar and new even after three years apart.

When they finally did pull apart, Luke panted heavily, watching Saint step back under the crescent moon.

“Saint…” he whispered, and those warm brown eyes found his again.

“I know.”

“Please don’t leave.” His voice broke.

Without a sound, Saint reached out and grabbed his hand. Luke let him. And when Saint pulled him towards the door, Luke followed, leading Saint back to his empty dorm room. They left the lights off and got in bed, cautiously feeling their way in semi-darkness.

“Tell me,” Saint whispered after a while, studying Luke’s face in the dim light, one hand running through his hair. Their legs tangled together, hidden beneath the thin blanket.

Luke let his eyes slip shut. “It’s complicated.”

“I can handle complicated, Tweedle.”

He opened his eyes again to see Saint smiling at him, a hint of sadness in his face. His expression was open in a way Luke so rarely saw, those eyes searching.

And so Luke told him. Of the complicated relationship he and his mother had always had. The way she had checked out after his father’s arrest, barely sparing her son a second glance. All the times he’d needed her then and she hadn’t been there, had left him to fend for himself. He told Saint of the good things too, swimming with her in the ocean as a child, drinking lemonade on the porch and feeling like an adult, going to parties and being able to say ‘that’s my mom’ with pride. He missed those days, more than he’d ever been willing to admit. But something about Saint and the darkness made it easier to say.

When he finished, voice hoarse and tears still drying on his cheeks, Luke looked back over at Saint, half afraid of what he would find. He needn’t have been. Saint was watching him carefully, sorrow hidden in his eyes, but Luke knew where to look. He was well-practiced in the art of reading Saint.

“I’m not gonna leave you know,” he said finally. Luke blinked.

“What?” “I’m not leaving. I mean it. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. If you want me to go I’ll hang around until you get so sick of me you can’t stand the sight of me, I don’t care but I’m staying. I’m not leaving you this time. I’m not.”

“I-“ Luke didn’t know what else to say. It was so out-of-character for Saint, declarations and promises he could never ask him to keep.

“Please don’t make me leave,” Saint whispered, and that too was so unfamiliar, so different from the Saint that Luke had known.

But still he replied, “I won’t,” unthinkingly, knowing even as he said it that it was the truth.

He fell asleep still wrapped in Saint’s arms, the two of them barely fitting together on Luke’s twin bed. Saint’s body was warm, familiar. It reminded Luke of home, of the island and of high school, a bittersweet memory that sometimes he wanted and other times he didn’t. In that moment it was comforting, remembering all the times they’d spent together, finding safety in Saint’s arms once again. As his eyes slipped shut, he wished with everything that they could just stay here forever, safe and warm and in love.

But that was thing about wishes. They didn’t always come true.

#st. tweedle #luke x saint #future au #luke goes to college #character death mention #not fluff #hurt comfort?#but like the ending isn't happy #sorry #relic keel #lumosinlove

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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your roommate hcs are so cute, can i request for naib, demi, tracy, andrew, kurt, patricia, and victor?

:0 holy crap yes! I’m so glad you enjoyed the roommate hcs!! Me and the other mods hope you enjoy these! Thank you for requesting :))

(i added melly because why not? lmao hope you don’t mind.)

Part 1!

Naib Subedar

This man deadass didn’t know you were living with him

Even when people told him about it, he wasn’t rlly paying attention and didn’t rlly care

Your stuff in his room? He thought it was his or someone just broke into his room and left it there

When he saw you on the toilet however, he just freaked out.

“Why the hell are you shitting in my room!?” “Your room? I’ve been living here for 2 months!”

Once he found out you lived with him, he made sure you knew what was his and what was yours

also, since he’s very protective of his things-- you being one of them-- he would totally get jealous if he caught you tallking to someone that wasn’t him.

he would probably give you the silent treatment and act like a pissy baby

He hates it when you touch his stuff

especially his photos, the photos were special to him because they were of him and his army friends.

You’d sometimes catch him looking at the photos with a longing in his eyes, it was highkey sad.

having you live with him meant lots and lots of training

he made sure you were always prepared for matches and that you don’t get downed early

when you got downed early however, He would scold you but he would still rescue you anyways because he’s soft

“You’re such an idiot, you’d better do better next time! Or else I’ll kick your ass.”

one time he got cocky while kiting because you were watching him

he forgot to turn on his elbow pads and face palmed into the wall.

“...You saw nothing.” He turned around, a bit woozy from hitting his head on a wall. He flipped the hunter off before stumbling wooshing away

When you first get to know naib, he’d probably come off as intimidating and menacing

but once you get to know him--the real him--, you start to understand that even though he may be tough on you, its because he wants you to be the best

he has good intentions

During matches he’d let you handle yourself and made sure you didn’t rely on him too much

One time you needed to shower but you ran out of your shampoo so you used his.

When he questioned you, you simply responded “What? You don’t need it anyways, you’re bald!”

He didn’t rescue you the next round.

should’ve seen that coming

though he forgives you when you braid his luscious long existent hair for him

Kurt Frank

The amount of times you almost stepped on this man is astronomical.

he would constantly be in his tiny form because he would lose a lot of his things

his tiny form helped him find his things easily

Though when you first moved in with him, you had no idea what his ability was

so when you first saw a tiny version of your roommate you thought he was just a weird doll

until you heard him say a tiny, “Hey can you move your ginORMOUS foot? You’re stepping on my book.”

You fucking screeched and took off your shoe to try and kill him

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

After he explained to you about his ability you calmed down a bit and spared this tiny man but only this time!

Frank loves books, he probably filled your shared rooms with stacks on stacks of books

You’d often see him tiny, waving at you while you’re decoding

Once you overhead Kurt arguing with First Officer over who was the rightful owner of some sort of treasure map

They fought for days,

kurt would constantly complain about it to you

turns out it was just a game on the back of a Cereal box.

sorry this is short like kurt

Tracy Reznik

Would be a little awkward at first, but the awkwardness slowly fades away when you both make bad jokes

she gives me childhood best friend vibes

Has her doll sitting in the corner of your shared room room, it’s lifeless eyes scare the living shit out of you in the dark you try not to make eye contact, afraid it’ll curse you or smth

if she was mad at you she would move the bot in a way that looked like it was flipping you off you off in your direction before you went to bed.

Always making little robot things that are super fun to play with

Loves sharing her things. Has no problem with it

you wanna wear her clothes? sure

you want to wear her underwear? evEN BETTER-

Pulling all nighters, trying to get her machines to work like how she wanted it to work.

Would live off of kraft Mac n cheese and junk food in the modern day

Pretty hyper, chugs pink monster energy drinks while pulling all nighters, also, in the modern day

would probably be a bruh girl

Her room is a mess, covered with blueprints and scrap metal

her room is practically a safety hazard

Sometimes she dresses her doll up a bit, putting wigs or her old clothes on it (which scares you half to death)

Once she made her doll dress up like her

and you almost went up to it to ask what it wanted for dinner.

Has a photo of her and her dad

You never wanted to bring it up, worried it might make her upset :(

Sometimes she’d feel really guilty about being downed in the first 30 seconds

please comfort her, she feels super bad

She always relies on you to rescue her

She gets really happy and thankful when you body block for her but she still gets a bit concerned when you do it randomly

“i wasn’t even kiting-” “Protecc the mecc.”

Demi Bourbon

Always out at the bar

Smells like alcohol constantly

tipsy 24/7

she’s never 100% sober

You have to hold her hair out of her face when she comes back to your shared room to hurl

Likes bringing back hard vodka or weird flavoured alcohols back for you guys to get wasted try together

Room is bit cluttered, but she doesn’t have much in her room since she’s always out in bars or matches

Usually latches onto you like a parasite when she’s drunk.

it gets a bit awkward when her face is a bit close to yours,

“Are we about to kiss right now-? BLeurghgrhgherrgh.”“...*audible sigh*”

You’d go to her expecting her to heal you like a normal person but no

instead she shoves dovlin down your throat

She likes to do your makeup, and always adds a matching beauty mark

unless you don’t wear makeup, then she’d ask you to do hers

always loves how she looks afterwards

more than sometimes demi would get into bar fights,

so you know she’s about to throw hands when she starts takes off her earrings-

10/10 would fight for you <3

She’s gives me cool wine aunt vibes

Probably a lesbian too (check out our Demi smut fic ;))

Or bi, idk

Just straightn’t

She’s really good at hyping you up, especially when you’re taking shots

“CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG-”

Andrew Kreiss

Would be very shy at first, opens up a little when you get to know him

Totally a night owl, can’t sleep at night from all the guilt and “what if’”s

if you see this baby awake at night, hug him, he really needs it

You’ve never seen the other side of his face

How does he see with hair in his eyes?

He’s albino, which is super dope

Sometime you fear he’s thinking about burying you

You always see him thwacking Luca with his shovel

Barely talks

Room is moderate

He doesn’t want you to find out too much about him

He may seem bland, but he loves sweet food

You’d bake him cookies and other sweets

He’d act as if he’s not embarrassed and brush it off

“Are you blushing?”“No, I-I’m sunburnt.” “On your face?” “....I stare into the hot red sun sometimes because it eases me.”

to keep his lie going, every time he catches you staring at him he would fry his eye balls by staring into the sun until you left

partially the reason why he can’t see well

When he’s not looking, you stare at him while he’s eating the stuff you made because he looks so happy :’)

One time you found him down in the dumps so you made him a cup of coffee, and when you handed it to him you said-

“Depresso espresso?”

*sniff* ”..are you oka-” “IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE”

he actually cried

it was such a nice gesture(?), that he started ugly crying

You’d ask him if he wanted hugs during matches when you see him get stressed

He’d be flushed and kinda confused

hug... him? why tho lmao

he’d definitely agree tho, to be fair, with some hesitation

if y’all ever cuddled in bed, i feel like he’d be a little spoon

poor boy needs the comfort, he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be little spoon tho

he just wants to be close to you

Victor Grantz

You love playing with his dog, Wick

Super nice and polite, but a little guarded

The type to be too afraid to call people out when they do something wrong but would totally trash them in his head

You write him little letters everyday and leave them on his bed to make him happy :))

He’d a be a little spoon

Wick would always join you guys while cuddling

Kisses would be soft and gentle

Usually sends you the first letter in matches

Loves to cuddle

He bb 🥰

You always get him a birthday present AND a Christmas present

You also get a gift for Wick

He loves giving you surprise hugs

Likes to read with you while cuddling

Literally a cinnamon roll

Once he was eating a cinnamon roll

And you whispered

“C a n n i b a l i s m .”

He was very confused

and kind of scared- were you going to eat him?

Patricia Dorval

Room always smells like herbs

She could literally smoke weed and you’d think it’s some magical healing herb

it magically makes you feel better

Always there to stun the hunter when you’re ballooned

The mature one

Her room is organized, with boxes labeling what herbs and magic stuff that are in them

You were cooking dinner for the day and you accidentally used one of her fancy herbs in your soup

She didn’t realize until she tried the soup

She wasn’t mad just disappointed

She lectured you on how you shouldn’t touch her stuff or use it for cooking

Gotta admit tho, the soup was pretty good

she acts like the mom everyone wishes they had

totally the type to be like, “dude we should think this through.” before doing something risky

and then five seconds later, “cowABUNGA MY DUDES”

one time she caught kreacher leaving the mens washroom without washing his hands

seeing as she was the mother of this manor, she had to protect her children from diseases

so she yeeted her monkey skull at kreachers head, cleanly knocking him out

and everybody cheered.

Melly Plinius

When you heard melly was going to be your roomie, you couldn’t have been more excited.

you finally had a victim for the many insect pick up lines!

So you decided to make some good first impressions by waiting for her in your room.

so when she arrived to your room and greeted you, you happily greeted her back, and slipped in the pick up line.

“Hello, my name is Melly. I believe I will be your ro-?”“Yeah nice to meet you too, say, what do bees make?”

She kinda thought you were a bit rude so much for first impressions

“...Erm, honey?” she replied hesitantly

“YES DEAR?”

... okay maybe you weren’t thaaaat bad.

after that she kind of developed a teensy crush on you

so it was hard living with you because of her crush, since she was constantly flustered

you loved her reactions, she constantly got red.

it was funny watching her try to keep her cool and fail.

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mieohmy · 3 years

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All’s Well That Ends Well | Lee Sangyeon

PAIRING: lee sangyeon x fem reader

GENRE: fluff, humor, angst, acquaintances-to-kinda-lovers? babysitter! au, slice of life! au

WC: 1.5k

SUMMARY: my sister asked me to babysit her daughter while she and her husband go out on a date night but it turns out her husband accidentally invited his brother to babysit too... (so i guess we’re stuck together now?)

um this took way to long to get out but I needed to write something for lovely leader sangyeon <3 + credits to original photo owners! ^^

❀

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. No-yes-I know!”

You sigh, focusing on the road ahead of you to your sister’s house.

Once you arrive, you’re greeted by your niece at the door, squealing and giggling. You smile, allowing her to lead you in.

A note’s been left on the table- you’re guessing your sister left all the instructions on it.

I left food in the fridge for you to heat up. She usually eats dinner around 5-6. Whatever you do, do NOT let my daughter get into the ice cream, you know what happened last time. We’ll be back around 8!

Don’t die.

-y/s/n

You shrug, placing the note down. This should be easy enough.

For a solid 30 minutes, your niece shows you her toy collection while you play along and try your best not to yawn even though you just got here.

Then the doorbell rings.

You look over at your niece, confused. “Did your mom mention anyone coming over?”

She shrugs, too distracted with her cool toys and gadgets.

You get up, cautiously walking to the front door and peeking through it.

Your eyes widen. The first thing that runs through your head is-

what’s his name again?

You know who he is..... you just don’t remember his name. Your brother-in-law’s brother.

You’ve met him a couple of times-mainly at your sister's wedding. There were only ever a few polite words exchanged, but he was kind, you remember. And handsome too- but that wasn’t important.

There was never enough interaction to know each other well enough. And there was no reason to.

He stares back at you, equally surprised. “Y/n?”

You freeze, cursing yourself for not remembering his name. Luckily, your niece pushes past you into his arms and he gladly accepts.

“Uncle Sangyeon!!”

A light clicks on in your head. That’s right.

You finally regain your senses. “W-what are you doing here?”

He raises an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same?”

You gesture at your niece, still content to see the both of you together. “My sister-er- your sister-in-law asked me to babysit her today. Since she and your brother were going out for a date night.”

Sangyeon stands up. “Seriously?”

“Cause my brother asked me to do the same thing.”

You stifle a laugh. “Wow. Uhhh, well, it’s fine. I’ll take care of her. You can go home.”

Your niece lets out a displeased noise and you both look down at her. “I don’t want uncle to leave! I don’t want anyone to leave!”

You’re about to lean down to explain everything, but sangyeon interrupts you.

“Ah-actually, I canceled all my plans tonight so I don’t have anything to do. If you want, you can go home instead?”

Your mouth opens to deny the offer but once again, your niece beats you to it.

“No-! Why don’t the both of you just stay with me? We can all have fun together!”

Your eyes flick to his. He contemplates for a second before shrugging. “Sure, why not?”

You’re not sure how this is gonna go. An evening spent with someone you’ve barely met. Your.... -what do you even call him?

You sigh, getting up to follow them inside. All’s well that ends well, right?

❀

Sangyeon is an interesting person. You’re able to find that out while talking as your niece is distracted with whatever tv show you put on in the background.

You also find out that he’s 1038% husband material. Yes, you just formally met him, but you can tell already how kind-hearted and polite he is.

No wonder your niece loves him so much.

You can’t help but smile whenever sangyeon talks so sweetly to her, brushing stray hairs out of her face or tickling her sides.

It’s weird how easy you both get along. It makes you wonder why you never took the chance to get to know him before.

He was your sister’s brother-in-law, after all.

When that realization comes to you, you can’t help but frown for some reason.

“Is there something wrong?” Sangyeon asks.

You immediately shake your head, taking a sip of your juice box- apparently, your sister had a lot of those.

Your niece calls your name, and you turn too quickly, choking on the juice. Sangyeon immediately pats your back, asking if you’re okay until you stop coughing.

You swiftly nod, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Suddenly, you feel your body get hot at his concerned expression and hand gently placed on your back.

Why do you feel like this?

You thank him, suddenly remembering your niece. She whines, complaining that she’s hungry, and you look at the time.

5:42. That’s right.

“Dinnertime?” You ask Sangyeon. He smiles.

The three of you eat until your stomachs are full and laugh until your cheeks hurt.

Sangyeon is too funny and kind for his own good. Sadly, you figure he already has a girlfriend-maybe even a wife- already. That revelation causes disappointment to settle in you.

“Your significant other must be really lucky,” you remark.

Sangyeon swallows too quickly. He rasps, and you quickly get him a cup of water. “I’m so sorry, was it what I said?” You look at him anxiously.

He shakes his head. “No-uh- it’s not your fault at all.” He laughs. “I was just shocked you said that. I don’t have a significant other. That’s why.”

You blink, feeling embarrassment rush throughout your body. “Oh-Oh my god, I’m sorry.”

He grins, shining his pearly smile that only makes you feel more things. “Don’t worry about it. Just haven’t found the right one yet, you know?”

You nod sheepishly. “If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t either.”

You both suddenly look away from each other, bashful.

Your niece cuts through the tension. “Why are you guys smiling like that?”

You bite your lip. “Nothing-! Just eat your food,” you direct her.

And before you know it, the sound of the garage opening alerts you.

You were about to fall asleep, having put on a movie for the three of you to watch as sangyeon stares at the sleepy look on your face, endeared.

Your niece perks up, already running to the door to greet her parents.

You jump up, suddenly awake and ready to interrogate your sister on the whole babysitting incident.

Your sister’s voice filters through the house, she and her husband walk in to find you and Sangyeon sitting at the table, staring at them expectantly.

Y/s/n raises her eyebrows. “Sangyeon? What are you doing here?” she asks, right as your confused brother-in-law calls your name questioningly.

You and sangyeon share a look. “You told me I was babysitting your daughter today, but dear sangyeon over here comes soon after saying the exact same thing.”

Your sister frowns, turning to her husband. “I thought I told you that y/n could babysit!”

He shakes his head. “No, I thought you said y/n couldn’t make it so I asked my brother to come..”

Your sister turns back to you, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m so sorry guys. I hope I didn’t waste your time, and you still had fun?”

You look over at sangyeon, and he has that darn charming smile on his face. “Of course, we had a blast together.”

Your sister must’ve noticed the way you stared at him when he spoke because she sends you a look. You brush it off, claiming that the two of you had to get going.

The family ushers you and sangyeon out, muttering more apologies and thanks.

The door closes behind you two.

“Well, that was nice.”

“It was,” you agree.

“He gestures out down the walkway and you start walking, sangyeon easily falling in step next to you.

Once you reach your car, you stop.

“Do you want to go out sometime?”

“I was thinking we could see each other again...”

Both of you speak at the exact same time.

You burst out laughing, sharing a smile.

“I would love to.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

You cut each other off again.

He grins. “Okay-you know what- just contact me. You have my number, right?”

You nod, awkwardly shuffling around.

“Well, if that’s it.... text me,” you smile crookedly.

Sangyeon bids you goodbye with a quick peck on the cheek.

You freeze, watching as he gets in his own car and waves goodbye.

After his car is out of sight, you get in your car, finally alone before being able to fangirl for a second.

No way. You did it. You might have a future date. A future date who was extremely handsome and the ideal man of your dreams. Also your sister’s brother-in-law..... but you could worry about that later.

Cupping your cheeks once more, you sigh before driving off, the smile never leaving your face.

Unbeknownst to you, your sister and niece peek through the blinds, having watched the entire interaction.

“I told you there was something going on, mommy!”

❀

EW sorry after i post this, im never thinking about it again -i hate it sm but still wanted to show some appreciation for sangyeon 🥺

#the boyz #kpopscape #the boyz sangyeon #lee sangyeon #sangyeon #tbz sangyeon #the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines #sangyeon x reader #the boyz scenarios #lee sangyeon scenarios #lee sangyeon imagines #lee sangyeon x reader #sangyeon scenarios #sangyeon imagines #sangyeon fluff #the boyz fluff

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ihaveissuesbutthatsokay · 3 years

Text

EREMIN URBAN FANTASY (I THINK???) AU!!!

WARNING : strong language, mention of blood, of a missing person, grief and mention of depression

The forest. That's what everyone called it. But It wasn't really a forest.

Not a normal one, anyway.

There was something inside. Something sinister. Everyone could feel it the moment they entered. You could feel it the moment you entered, the air suddenly getting colder, shivers forming up your skin, and feeling a burning hole behind your head where you swore you could feel something, someone, watching your every step, your every movement, your every breath.

You were known as the boy who seeked freedom.

People tried to venture into the forest. Dreaming of exploration, dreaming to see what awaited on the other side of the forest. That's why the town folks would prepare expeditions to go outside.

After all, being trapped in a small town with nothing but a wide forest to keep you company, that's not freedom. It was almost as if the forest wanted to keep you tight, too afraid to let go, too afraid to watch you wither away. But you wanted to go away. You hated this small town, this confined space.

No one came out alive in the forest.

That's why the town stopped entering the forest altogether. It was too dangerous. Too reckless. But you were the boy who seeked freedom. You wouldn't give up.

Why do you never give up, goddamnit!

You were reckless, naive, young. You thought the world bended at your own rules. You thought you and your friends, together, would be untouchable.

I was wrong.

That's right. You were wrong.

And that's why you will always hate yourself for dragging your friends into this mess. That's why you wished you weren't the boy who seeked freedom after all.

----

Armin couldn't sleep. Not that it was something unusual. He could barely sleep these past few years, with school work piling up, finals right around the corner, and generally just life being a complete shithole of a mess.

He had three unfinished assignments due tomorrow. And it was already 3 am. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus. He could feel his eyelids closing up by themselves, his hand loosening up on his pen, his head about to drop on his desk---

He sighed in defeat, and stood up from his chair more violently than it was necessary.

Coffee. He needed coffee.

He made a face,just thinking about drinking it. He hated the bitterness that crap had to offer, the sensation of his tongue being burned while he tried to chug it into one go, as he wanted to be done with it.

He hated it, but he needed it.

The caffeine kept him awake.

Mikasa would always chide him about this. At how unhealthy of a coping mechanism it was, to rely on a substance to keep him awake.

He still remembers how two years ago, exactly 4 months after the incident, how she would constantly tell him to stop drinking that burned bean water, probably very worried at the lack of sleep Armin clearly was not getting.

“You don't even like it.” She would frown.

Armin would laugh at the name Mikasa used to describe the coffee, avoiding the last statement. “Since when did you start calling it like that?”

Mikasa would frown again, knowing what he was doing. She didn't push him though. instead, she would just shake her head.

“Sleep.” She would say very seriously, while giving him a sideway glance. “You need sleep.”

Armin would look at her dead in the eyes, at the dark circles surrounding them, at the way she kept her body, the way her skin didn't have the same glow it used to have, her face hollower and emptier than it usually looked.

“So do you.” He would softly whisper in return. She would just shrug, and the conversation would always hit a dead end there. “Besides,” he would add, after a moment of silence, “I do like coffee. Now.”

“Oh.” She would say. Not convinced.

“Yeah.” He would answer. Trying to make the lie sound convincing. To whom, he didn't know. Mikasa or himself? Perhaps both.

“Okay.” She would respond. “That's good.” She would grip her red scarf thighter, a gesture Armin noticed she would always do when she was nervous, sad or upset, and from that, Armin knew that she didn't believe him at all. But neither of them commented on it. It was a comforting lie.

Now as he was standing alone in his small kitchen, still sleep deprived, not listening to Mikasa’s advice, with a cup of boiling hot coffee in his hand, moonlight reflecting on his windows, a single tear slipped down his eye. It trailed all down his cheek, slowly, until it plopped into the drink he was holding with shaky hands.

He missed him. A lot. God, he missed him so much.

He missed his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his everything. The way he would scream in excitement, the way he would always run at the high, high hill, always fist pumping into the air when he thought he won, only to get disappointed when he realized Mikasa was just letting him win on purpose.He missed the way he would get excited when his mom would bake him a new cake, the way he would always bring Armin a piece afterwards, eager to see his reactions while eating it.

“So?” He would ask, more close to a demand than a question, his tone full of youth excitement. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah!” He said, surprising himself. Not that Eren's mom was a bad cook, not at all. But the cake flavor was coffee, and he never saw the appeal to this grown ups drink. Strangely, however, he really enjoyed this one. Thinking back at it, maybe he was just forcing himself to like it, cause he wanted to see the boy smile widen. Maybe he just wanted to love everything Eren offered him. Maybe he was just a delusional kid with a crush. Who knows. It was too late to dwell on it now.

“Your mom is an awesome cook.” Armin commented, licking some frosting off his hands.

The boy gloated in pride. “She said she will help me learn how to bake if I behave.”

“I thought you weren't allowed to bake anymore,” Armin said, still chewing on the cake. “Last time we baked at your house, it was a bit of a disaster.” It wasn't as big of a disaster as they made it out to be. But they were childrens, and everything seemed a bigger deal than it was.

He huffed in response. “That wasn't my fault! It was the oven's fault…” he murmured. Armin laughed. “I dont think your mom agrees with that.”

The other boy shoved him playfully. “How was I supposed to know I can't just bake coffee beans?”

Armin sighed. “I told you it wasn't a good idea. You never listen.”

“Whatever.” He said, plopping his legs on Armin’s lap.

“Hey!” Armin yelped, the boy's dirty feets almost getting into Armins plate. “I'm still eating here.”

Eren laughed. After a bit, Armin joined in.

They laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Armin's laugh never quite sounded the same after he was gone.

Neither did Mikasa’s for that matter. Probably the others too, but he lost contact with them, so he couldn't say for sure. They still all went to the same school, sure, but it was almost as if they were complete strangers, everyone collectively ignoring each other, in a desperate attempt to forget the incident. The only person he still talked to was Mikasa. And she, too, sometimes seemed so far away, like a mirage ready to dissolve right under his fingertips.

Armin was about to take a sip from his coffee. More like chugging it down in one go, but he froze right as the cup touched his lips.

His hands started to tremble, from fear or cold, he couldn't distinguish. Despite the heat of the beverage in his hand, he suddenly felt really cold. His arms shivered, his hands turning white as he clenched to his cup as if it could give him a sense of support. By gripping it too hard, some coffee splashed onto his hands, and he let out a hiss of pain. He put the coffee on the table, careful not to spill anymore.

He started feeling feverish, his head becoming a dizzying mess. He put a hand on the counter, for support. He felt like an invisible force was pushing his lungs, pushing until he couldn't breath, until he was coughing, and coughing, he needed air, he desperately needed air, but it was as if whatever was making him feel likethis, hated air, hated it with a burning passion, and it wanted to make Armin hate air as much as it did.

Armin felt like fainting. He probably was about to faint. He didn't know how it happened, but suddenly he was kneeling on the ground,

This is it. He thought miserably. I am going to die, today, alone, without even knowing if he is still alive, leaving Eren behind, leaving Mikasa behind, leaving everyone behind, because im a failure, and, and, and---

And then it stopped. His lungs could breathe again. He gasped, desperately trying to inhale as much air as possible, the burning in chest slowly fading away, even if his head still felt like someone was smashing a rock onto it.

But he could finally breathe again, and he could feel his pulse. He wasn't dead. He was alive. That's what mattered. He took another shaky breath, and used the chairs and the counter as support to stand up again. His legs were still shaking though, so instead of standing up, he opted to sit on the chair.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Those were the only thoughts going through his head, as he tried to sip his coffee again. That sensation, that feeling. There was no mistake. It was just like the incident two years ago, the same burning sensation, the same desperation to just give up, to do anything, anything, just so the pain could stop, the envy of being able to breathe---

“Ymir.”

The cup shattered on the ground, a sharp sound echoing through the empty hallways, coffee spilling everywhere. Armin didn't even notice. He was frozen in place, hand still raised, eyes still looking in front of him.

That voice. He couldn't make sense of anything. Except : That voice.

That voice. I know that voice. I would know that voice everywhere.

He turned around so quickly his chair went flying to the ground, glass splintering his bare feet from where the glass shattered. His eyes widened, tears spilling out of his ocean blue eyes like fountains.

“Eren?” He whispered. He took a step forward, hand reaching out, trying to touch him, hug him, kiss him, just feel him under his touch but---

His hands went right through him, as if...as if he wasn't real. A look of hurt and confusion shadowed Armin's face. “Ymir.” The man in front of him said again. He sounded monotone, no emotions, no feelings, no nothing. His face didn't seem like an open book anymore, his eyes not gleaming with millions' adventure.

“You have to find Ymir.”

“Eren.” That's all Armin could muster to utter, his voice shaking, his lips trembling. Was this a sick joke of his brain? The sleep deprivation finally kicking in? Making him almost pass out, and now hallucinate his missing-but-much-more-likely-his-long-lost-dead-best-friend?

“Listen to me, you have to listen to me, you need to find Ymir, or else, or else, or else.” He kept repeating the same sentence, as if he was a broken recorder. He closed his eyes, opened them again, closed them again. Armin took a step backwards. His mind was starting to creep him out.

“Eren, is that really you, please tell me I'm not hallucinating you.” He needed to ask, even if it was probably all fake, all his mind–

“Or else.” He closed his eyes again, muttered some stuff.

“Or else?” Armin whispered. “Eren, talk to me, please.”

“Ymir. Find. Ymir.”

With that, Eren started to fade again.

“Wait, no!” Armin didn't want him to leave, not right after he finally got to see him again. He didn't care this might all be his head. He didn't care this might all have to do with what happened three years ago, he didn't care, he just wanted his best friend back, he just wanted to be able to laugh and mess around, and talk about the future as if they both had a clue, he just wanted Eren back.

In his desperate attempt to reach him, Armin slipped on the spilled coffee; he could feel blood oozing from his feets, now from his hands, a stinging pain forming all around his skin. He didn't care, didn't notice. He struggled to get up again, and when he slipped again, he decided to crawl, not caring about the glass shatters on the floor, not caring about the pain, the stiffness of the floor, the red blood mixing with the brown coffee, he didn't care, he just needed to reach him, try again to touch him, maybe he imagined him fading under his touch, maybe it was a trick of the light, maybe he truly did come back, maybe, maybe, just maybe---

“Dont.” He whispered, more like a mix between a sob and a beg. “Don't go.”

“Armin–?” He sounded surprised, shocked, relieved, happy, nothing like the creepy expression and monotone voice he had before when he was muttering all those things, the same name over and over again, what was it again---he couldn't remember in the moment, the only thing in his mind was that he recognized him, he saw him and he knew who he was, and he said his name so gentle, so quietly, as if he was uttering a precious thing he didn't want to break–

“Eren.” Armin said, reaching his arms out, knowing, just knowing, he would reach his arm to, and they would hold hands, and everything would be fine again, he would have his best friend back–

But just as suddenly as he appeared, he disappeared.

And Armin couldn't do anything but curl up on the ground and cry, and cry, until his mind encircled him into a deep, unwanted sleep.

#eremin #snk eren #snk armin #snk mikasa #a sprinkle of eren/armin/mikasa #Historia #christa #ymir #ymir fritz #jean #sasha blouse #connie springer #armin mikasa friendship #angst #comfort #everyone needs a hug #it will get dark #inspired by a phone game #i like to make my reader suffer IM SORRY

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rmtndew · 4 years

Text

All I’ve Ever Known ~ Chapter 4

Summary: Fiona’s life is a shattered fraction of what it used to be. She’s trying to navigate her new normal when she meets Detective Marshall, who gives her something more to look forward to.

Pairing: Marshall and OFC.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of death, cancer.

A/N - This was intended as a short drabble but it got out of hand and became a multi-chapter story instead. It’s my first Marshall fic and the first fan fic that I’ve written in over a decade. The title comes from the song ‘All I’ve Ever Known’ from Hadestown: ‘I was alone so long, I didn’t even know that I was lonely. Out in the cold so long, I didn’t even know that I was cold. Turned my collar to the wind, this is how it’s always been. All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you, too.’

Tag list - @hollydaisy23, @readings-of-a-cavill-lover, @onlyhenrys, @omgkatinka, @speakerforthedead0-blog, @gearhead66, @thethirstyarchive, @oddsnendsfanfics, @littlerinoa, @agniavateira, @aaescritora,

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

I woke the next morning ten minutes before my alarm went off. At first I couldn’t figure out why and tried burrowing back into my warm bed to get my last few minutes of sleep back, but then my phone alerted me to a new text and I realized that’s what had woken me up. I sighed. I knew it was Darcy. Sometimes she woke up early with big ideas for her store and texted them to me, asking my opinion. She met me when I was working in interior design and any time she entertained the idea of having a dine in section, she’d send me pictures of what she wanted and ask how feasible it would be. Most of the time they were way too grand to fit into her pre-existing building. Other times she’d talk about a small coffee shop to encourage more people to come in and pick up their own orders and cut back on our deliveries. But I couldn’t see how renovating a portion of the store, buying new equipment and hiring extra employees to run a coffee shop would lower costs just by maybe cutting back on some deliveries.

I was planning on ignoring the text until after I’d actually gotten up, but when another came through I knew it was best to just go ahead and nip it in the bud before she sent me an entire magazine’s worth of photos. But when I hit the home button on my phone I saw that the texts hadn’t come from Darcy. I had to squint against the brightness of the screen to make sure I saw the name right. Marshall.

I sat up and turned on my lamp, then looked at my phone again, reading the texts from their previews.

Hey, it’s Marshall. I had a great time yesterday. Sorry I was falling asleep on you. Can I make it up to you this weekend?

Sorry. You’re probably sleeping. It might take more than coffee to make it up to you now. Dinner?

I suddenly felt wide awake and was no longer irritated by my few minutes of missed sleep. I would have gladly given up several hours for those texts. I decided not to reply to them right then, though. I wanted to make sure I’d had enough coffee to formulate a comprehensible reply and not look like I was drunk texting him, which I had a history of. My conversations with Darcy at five in the morning were proof of that.

I got up and went about my morning routine like usual, trying not to wake Mom. When I made my way downstairs, I poured a cup of coffee and sat at the table. I sipped it, thinking about what to say to Marshall. I wrote and rewrote the text half a dozen times before finally having something I felt okay with, then I sent it.

Hey Marshall. I had a great time, too. You don’t have to make up for anything but I’d still like to have dinner with you. What day did you have in mind?

My heart was thudding from nerves and excitement. I was so focused on trying to calm myself down that I almost didn’t hear Mom when she walked in.

“Morning, sweetie,” she said, grabbing a coffee cup.

“Good morning,” I replied, then jumped slightly as my phone vibrated on the table. I tried not to look too enthusiastic as I grabbed it.

Does Saturday work for you?

“Darcy again?” Mom asked, pouring coffee for herself.

“Um...no, actually.” I tried biting back a smile but it didn’t work. “It’s Marshall.”

Her eyes went wide and she smiled back. “He’s writing to you at six in the morning?”

“He actually wrote me earlier. He asked if I wanted to have dinner with him Saturday.”

She sat down at the table beside me. “What did you tell him?”

“I haven’t replied yet. I don’t want him to think I’m just waiting by the phone for him.”

She looked at the phone in my hand. “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing, though?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t have to know it.”

She laughed then blew on her coffee. “I’m glad this whole texting business wasn’t around when I was dating your father.”

“Even if it was, you’re a lot more forward than I am. You wouldn’t have had a single issue with texting Dad first, or answering him right away,” I said. My phone made another sound, reminding me of my unread text and I finally opened it, then replied.

Saturday is perfect. What time would you like to meet?

“Well, there was only room enough for one coy person in our relationship and Rodger called that role,” Mom said after I put my phone down.

I laughed. “I don’t think ‘coy’ was the right word for Dad. I think socially awkward was more appropriate.”

“He was too smart to be a social butterfly, too. He had to have a couple of flaws.”

“He couldn’t set the timer for the coffee pot, no matter how many times I showed him, and he thought that the Sharknado movies were amazing. He had his flaws,” I joked.

“This coffee pot is confusing.”

“He was an engineer!”

My phone buzzed in my hand and that time I didn’t wait to open the text. I read it right away.

Would you let me pick you up instead? Around six?

“Well, what does he say?” Mom asked.

“He wants to pick me up instead of me meeting him.”

“Are you going to let him?”

I looked at her and she was smiling at me. I shook my head at her, laughing again. “You want him to come here so that you can see him, don’t you?”

She shrugged. “You keep talking about how handsome he is.”

“He is handsome. And it’s an awfully gentlemanly thing to do…” I bit my lip for a moment, pretending to think it over.

“Just tell him yes. We both know you’re going to.”

I gave another laugh. “Fine.”

I would like that, thank you. And I’m curious, what does Detective Marshall eat when he’s not eating a cuban sandwich and plain chips?

I put my phone on the table. “What are your plans for today?” I asked, then took a sip of my coffee.

She gave me a cheeky grin. “Changing the subject.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not changing the subject. I’m asking what my mother is going to be doing while I’m out earning the bread for this family,” I joked.

She snorted. “You don��t earn the bread, Fi, you just bake it.” She nodded at my arm. “And burn yourself in the process.”

“That’s the first time I’ve burnt myself in a year and a half. I’d say that’s a pretty good record.”

“That’s true,” she said. “And if you must know, I was thinking of going down to Valley and talking to Georgia about starting music lessons again after the new year. I think by then I’ll have recovered enough to be able to teach at least a few days a week.”

“You’re going to put yourself around snot nosed kids in the dead of flu season?” I asked dryly.

“I’ll be teaching teenagers, not little kids, and I’ll wear a mask,” she said. “I’ll make sure to clean everything between students and have them use hand sanitizer when they come in. I’m not going to be immunocompromised forever, and I’m not going to live in a bubble until then, either.” She gave me a smirk. “Besides, I can’t let you be the only one that earns the bread around here.”

I laughed at her but it was cut short when my phone buzzed again.

Stuff that’s probably not very good for him. Like Italian. How does that sound?

Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more attracted to him, he confessed to liking my favorite type of food. I couldn’t stop my train of thought that went to me one day making an Italian dinner for him as a date. But my mind’s eye set up the imaginary dinner in my old apartment and I knew that would never happen. I let that thought go and took a deep breath, trying to focus my attention on the present moment.

That sounds great. I love Italian food.

I sent it and sat back in my seat. I tried not to let my mind wander too far down the road with Marshall. I’d been on a lot of first dates in my life with guys that I’d thought were great who turned out to be jerks and I knew what that disappointment felt like. And even though I couldn’t imagine Marshall disappointing me in the same way they had - he’d proven at our coffee date that he was far more respectful, even while he was tired - I wanted to remind myself that I needed to take things one step at a time.

Perfect. I’ll see you Saturday at six, then.

I must have looked pretty gooey eyed over the whole thing because Mom reached out and touched my wrist gently. When I looked at her, the teasing tone was gone from her face and she was smiling at me. “I’m happy for you, sweetie. I really am.”

I was a ball of nerves all Saturday morning and afternoon. More than I’d ever been on the day of a first date. But nothing with Marshall fell into my ‘usual’ category. There was something about him that made him different from any other man I’d gone out with. And maybe that was it: He was a man. Not some boy masquerading as one. He was quiet, and fierce, and protective. He thought before he spoke. And even when delivering a threat - like he had to that creep in the bar - he’d done it calmly and with authority. He exuded confidence, not cockiness, and there was honestly nothing more attractive than that.

I was nearly ready, just zipping up my boots, when I heard a crash downstairs. I rushed down and found Mom in the kitchen, trying to pick up the broken pieces of one of her giant coffee mugs.

“I’m - I’m not sure what happened,” she said. “I just lost my grip.”

“It’s okay.” I took a step towards her, trying to avoid the pile of porcelain. “Let me clean it up.”

“I can do it,” she said, sounding flustered.

“I know you can but you’re in socks and I’m wearing boots.”

She stood her ground for a moment, then finally sighed and relented, taking a step back. “Okay. I’ll get you the broom.”

“It’s fine. I’ll get it. Just watch your step.”

I went to grab the broom as she threw away the large chunks of her broken cup that she’d been able to pick up with her hands. I could tell she was frustrated.

“You know, if you didn’t like that mug, you could have just gotten rid of it, you didn’t have to break it,” I joked, taking the broom and dustpan from the broom closet. “Or were you afraid I wouldn’t take the hint and buy you another one if I thought it just went missing?”

She gave a small laugh but I could tell she was still embarrassed. “I actually liked that coffee mug a lot.”

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can -”

The doorbell rang and she stopped mid-sentence. We both froze, my eyes flicking to the clock on the stove. It was 5:53. Marshall was early. After a moment, Mom took a step towards me, holding out her hand to take the broom from me. I shook my head.

“You’re wearing socks,” I reminded her. “I don’t want you to cut your foot.”

Her eyes grew wide. “So you’re going to clean up after me while I go meet your date?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She brushed her hand over her barely there hair, trying to collect herself, then let out a breath. “Okay, I’ll go let him in.”

“Don’t be too charming. He might have a thing for cougars and I don’t want to have to fight my mom for a guy.”

She smiled for real, the embarrassment of having her daughter clean up after her letting go enough that it was no longer plainly visible. “No promises,” she joked, then left the kitchen to answer the door.

It didn’t take long to clean up. Even though the cup had shattered pretty good, its bright white color stood out against the dark wood of the floor, making even the tiniest pieces easy to see. After making sure I’d cleaned it all up, I threw away the pieces and put up the broom and dustpan, then went to find Mom and Marshall.

They were standing in the entryway. Mom was saying something about teaching at Valley and Marshall stood in front of her, his hands clasped behind his back, and a look of sincere focus on his face as she spoke. Mom was a small woman but next to him, she looked comically tiny.

I paused for a moment, taking him in. His hair looked a bit more controlled than any other time I’d seen him, his curls tighter and not quite as messy. His beard looked like it had been trimmed, giving it a purposeful look instead of the ‘I’m too busy to shave’ vibe that I’d gotten from him previously. He wore a thick blue sweater that made the color of his eyes pop when they drifted over to me. It was brief, maybe less than a second, before concentrating on Mom again. But he had a slight smile and it was enough for her to notice. She turned and looked at me.

“There she is. I guess I’ll stop talking your ear off and let you two go,” she said.

Marshall smiled at her, then at me, bigger that time. “I didn’t realize I was early. I apologize.”

“No, don’t. You’re fine,” I said, moving to grab my coat. “I’m ready, I was just cleaning up a broken cup. I’m basically like Cinderella around here.”

Mom snorted. “Hardly. Cinderella was made to do chores. You’re the one who won’t let me lift a finger,” she said. “Besides, I think she sang while she worked.”

I raised my eyebrow at her as I put my coat on. “Do you want me to sing?”

She shook her head. “No. No one wants that, sweetie,” she said, making Marshall laugh. She looked at him. “Fi spent a good portion of her teenage years screaming along to music in her room. I didn’t even know you could make ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ sound angry until she proved otherwise. Needless to say, her father and I encouraged her other interests a bit more enthusiastically.”

I grabbed my purse. “I should have let you clean up your own mess and answered the door myself,” I joked before kissing the top of her head. “Bye, Mom.”

Marshall smiled again. “It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Sparks.”

“Likewise, Detective Marshall. You two have fun.”

We left the house and after a few steps down the walkway, he jabbed his thumb back at the door. “She’s funny.”

“She can be,” I agreed. “She’s a spitfire, though, that’s for sure.”

“I like it.”

“Yeah, I like it, too.”

We walked to his truck and he opened the door for me. “You look gorgeous, by the way,” he said as I got in.

I felt myself blush instantly, caught off guard by the compliment. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, closing the door for me.

We’d only made it to the driveway and my stomach was already doing somersaults. He made me feel like a teenage girl, all giddy and excited, and I loved it.

He went around the front of the truck, then climbed in the driver’s side. I tried to sneak a look at him while he was putting on his seat belt but he caught me. He smiled as I snapped my head straight ahead.

“Sorry, I just, I was…” I tried to think of an excuse but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound lame. I let out a sigh. “I was checking you out,” I admitted. “I can’t lie. There’s no point. Sorry.”

“That’s the least offensive thing a woman has ever apologized to me for,” he said with a laugh, starting the truck. He leaned forward enough to catch my eye, making me instinctively turn my head towards him. He grinned. “Did you see anything you like?”

My blush deepened and I couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Maybe.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, that is a nice sweater.”

“Oh, so you were checking out my jumper?”

I shrugged. “It brings out your eyes.”

“Does it now?”

“It does. And you have very lovely eyes.”

“Thank you,” he said. “But my daughter bought the jumper, so I can’t take credit for it.”

“She did a good job,” I said, forcing my eyes to look up front as we pulled out of the driveway. Even though I’d already admitted to checking him out, there was a difference between looking and leering and I didn’t want to come off as creepy. “I take it that this wasn’t your weekend to have her?”

“It was supposed to be but she was invited to a Halloween party with some of her friends so she asked to do that instead. She’ll be with me tomorrow.”

“What did she dress as? For the party.”

“A cowgirl.”

“Does she ride horses or did she just like the costume?”

“No, she rides. She took lessons when she was a bit younger. And she and I go riding some weekends.”

“So you’re Detective Marshall during the week and cowboy Marshall on the weekends? Does that ever cross over? Do they have mounted police in the homicide unit?”

He shook his head as he laughed. “No, not that I’m aware of.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Is it now?” he asked, and his tone made me blush all over again.

“I’m actually not going to answer that. I’m going to wait until we get a little further from my house to fully embarrass myself so that when you fake an emergency to get rid of me, my ego doesn’t get too crushed.”

“Do you really think I’d do that?”

“I hope not, but I’ve been excited about having dinner with you, so I’m going to try not to mess it up.”

“I think you’d have to try pretty hard to mess it up,” he said as we stopped at the end of my street. He glanced at me. “And I’ve been excited about it, too.”

#Henry Cavill #Walter Marshall #Night Hunter #Nomis #All I've Ever Known #Walter Marshall fan fiction #Henry Cavill fan fiction #Night Hunter fan fiction #Walter Marshall/OFC #HenryCavillFanfic #WalterMarshallFanfic

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years

Note

Mommy is tired after giving birth to kin. Kai *kaito .. this is you sister*. Kaito *sister ? But I said I want baby brother* kai gives him his famous glare *its not up to you* kaito already crying *i don't want her return her back* mommy though is tired but laughing .. angry kai is ON *your sister is not a dull or toy to be returned back. She is human first of all*. Would you guys belive me? I thought my sister was a toy when I was kid 😭😭 I bite her right hand the fist time I saw her 😂

You bited your sister's hand?! Oh thank god Im not the only one, me and my older brother do this whenever we met and HE HAS MORE THAN 30 YEARS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You look a bit troubled there my devil..." you pointed out tiredly at your husband, whose was sitting right next to you on the edge of your hospital bed, looking at the ground but with almost emptiness in his eyes, like he wasn't really... there.

He snapped his head up to look at you and despite your worry you gave him a tired smile.

"Something wrong?" He stared at you for a few seconds before lowering his gaze to his second child.

... his daughter. Kin.

When the thought of that you two were having a girl sticked to his mind he had to admit he was... taken out of guard. Then the worst happened.

His past with the white haired girl came to haunt him. Everthing he did and you had no idea of... the bullets, the experiments...

He didn't exactly felt shame or even regret on doing these things... but when Kaito was showed on the ultrasound he just couldn't do it anymore, something inside him was stronger than his wish to complete his plan...now that he looked down at his own daughter, a knot seemed to form on his gut...

What if he losed control and did the same thing? God you were never even going to look at him....

"...No. It's fine." He said nonchalantly but decided to rest his temple on the top of your head, not breaking eye contact with the new born. "Just taken out of guard."

"Huh?" You blinked the sleep away from your eyes to at least try to stay awake for a just a little more.

"Angel, they literally cutted you. How was I not supposed to be worried?" He said in a 'maner of tone voice' before growling at your giggles.

You felt the vibrations due to being layed on his neck and you hummed happily, but still remained your firm hold of your new treasure.

"Please tell me you didn't kill anyone after knowing that I was going to do a cesarean."

"... I brought them back at least." You let out a tired and 'not surprised' laugh while your husband seemed to relax at the sound.

A knock on the door interrupted both of you and Kai gently and slowly got off from the bed, to answer the door.

"Pops. You brought the brat." He greeted the elder while looking down at Kaito who seemes way grumpy than he expected.

"When you're going to stop calling me that?" Pops muffled a low chuckle before stepping in on the room.

"Maybe when you stop acting like one." Kai answer his son in the same tone of voice making you and the old man just sigh in hopeless.

Never, he was never going to stop. His kid was always going to be a midget brat.

"Mommy!" Kaito beamed before going to your side, Pops doing the same.

"You scared us for a bit. Cesareans are never easy (Y/n)." Pops almost laughed in joy at sieng the baby's hair.

"I am the wife of a mobster, my father in law is a mobster... I guess I can take care of a cesarean way more easy than being, I dunno, kidnapped." You both laughed while Chisaki sended death glares at you.

Not. Funny.

You noticed your son climbing on the bed to give you a serne smile.

"Hello my soldier." You cooed tiredly but still welcomed your son's arms around your neck. "Here look. This is Kin, your new baby sister." You handed to Pops to hold, since trusting a seven years old child to hold a new born wasn't exactly the best idea, and just closed your eyes with a sigh, hitting your pillow.

You felt a gloved hand carresing your cheek and you just could sense the worry in your husband.

"I'm tired." You be moaned while he rolled his eyes at it.

"...Mom there was a mistake. It was going to be a brother, why is it a girl?" You laughed in exaustation and just decided to let this go for now.

Sleep here you come. You knew that after leaving this hospital neither you or Kai would be getting any, so might as well enjoy it.

"Brat no, it wasn't going to be a boy." Chisaki said sternly while Pops already shocked his head with a smile.

Finally he could sense what is to enjoy a granddaughter... for real.

"But I wanted a brother. There's a paper of return, right?" Kaito said monoustly before urging his hand to the blanket in Pops arms before Chisaki just pinched his ear.

"No, there isn't." He said a bit more annoyed this time "This is your younger sister and there's no turning back. Deal with it."

"But I don't want it." He whined while glaring at his father, now both just changing threatening glances at each other.

"What a shame, because me and your mother want her, so I would suggest that you at least collaborate." The kid groaned again before huffing.

"I will collaborate with leaving her on the door of some stranger, maybe them will want her instead of me." He snarled back and Chisaki's pacience just snapped.

"Why you little-"

"Let's face both of you." Pops interrupted while taking a seat on a chair, before placing his granddaughter on the crib "Kaito, you wouldn't like if you had a brother neither a sister because you're jealous of your mom. You didn't want it a sibling in the first place surely but faked it by seing that." Kaito went to speak but closed his mouth, lowering his hand down with a huff accepting defeat.

Kai sighed in relief before Pops pointed to his palm at him as well, making him arch one eyebrow.

"My boy, you as well, when Kaito was born you would get very irritated because sometimes your 'angel' had to spend more time with Kaito than you, and you know deep inside that with your daughter won't be any different, but only more attention of your wife taken away sonce now there will be two kids distracting her away from your grasp." Pops smirked at the way Chisaki's eye twitched at hearing the information.

"Both of you have one more thing in common. Both have jealous as fuck asses." He let out a laugh at the way Chisaki covered his son's ears the moment he noticed he was going to let out a swear.

"Pops I swear-"

"Ah, now that the kid is not listening I can say that I found that little secret of yours? About-" He snickered at the way Chisaki's ears were getting pink "I don't even need to say it right?"

"With all due respect Pops. Shut up for my own and my son's sake."

The elder laughed even harder while slapping his knee, Kaito making a confused face while Chisaki just groaned in both dissapointment and humiliation.

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years

Text

Hear me out

Zukaang soulmate AU quick fic

Soulmate au: red string

Everybody has a string attached to their hand in some way. Every string is some variation of reds, greys, or browns, mostly natural colors. Regardless. Sometimes things happen, like a soulmate dying or being frozen in ice and living for a hundred years past their original mate, and well the universe has to set that soul back in motion eventually after the other passes.

But when Zuko is born he has no string. Only a knot on his left pinky finger. His mother told him it was a promise, a promise that he'd find his soulmate himself instead of being led to them. But when she left he started to lose hope. And when he was burnt and banished he gave up on that stupid promise. He was sent in search of his honor, so who cared about a stupid soulmate he had to search for and find on his own. He already had one impossible thing to find.

Sitting in the western airtemples letting his uncle dress his burn wound he tried his hardest not to cry from the pain. "Prince Zuko, you are allowed to cry"

"It shows weakness" Zuko spat "why would I"

"I cried when I lost my son, I cried when I watched you burn, I cry when I hurt and I cry when others hurt. It is not a sign of weakness dear nephew. It is a sign of strength to carry such a heavy weight of emotions. It is not weakness and it is not a burden. It is strong and it is beautiful."

Zuko lifted his left hand and turned his head to see it better through his right eye. "If its not a burden, then why does it hurt?" He asked his uncle while putting his hand down, but Iroh took hold of his hand

"It hurts because it is not in your control, and that is not necessarily a bad thing"

Those words stuck with him for each of the two and a half years he sailed in search of a man missing for a hundred years. When he found him he found a boy his age who had been frozen for all of those years. A boy who was a master of air and a boy who had so much open care for the people around him.

His string was still just a knot but so was the boys, or at least it seemed to have become a knot recently. That was one thing they had in common.

Chasing him around was tiring, but it all came to a head when he managed to grab him at the fire sage temple. He had his hands held behind his back and felt a tug at his finger, though he paid no mind to it until after him and the two water tribe siblings were tied up and Sokka seemed transfixed by his hand.

"What are you staring at?" He spat at them

"Your string, it hasn't always been there has it?"

"What string? I only have a knot."

"Look again ponytail" Katara said with narrowed eyes

He looked down and his heart sank when he saw the string, following the string his heart dropped further and further while his eyes widened. It lead directly to the room that only Aang was in. "No." He stared at the door with fear. He's been chasing his soulmate while seeing him as an enemy this entire time. He turned back to the siblings who had followed the line of the string as well and had smug looks on their face. "Please. Please dont cut it."

Their faces went from smug to shocked to cnfused in a matter of seconds "what? Why wouldn't you want to cut it? I mean yeah it hurts, but he's your en-"

"Just don't cut it okay? One of the last things my mom said to me was that the knot was a promise and made me swear to her that I'd accept whoever it was if I found them in this lifetime. So please... just don't cut the string..."

After they escaped Zuko fled to his ship and the Gaang fled to Appa. Once on Appa Aang noticed his string "woah! Its... its a link again.."

"Yeah," Katara turned to Sokka and nudged him to have him continue what she was saying

"Its Zuko"

"What? How would you know?"

"Well he was tied up with us and he sort of panicked and pleaded with us not to cut the string" Katara answered

Back on the ship Zuko was panicking and Iroh was trying to get him to explain what happened. He finally managed to form a solid sentence with "My soulmate is the Avatar and I dont know what to do anymore oh Agni this is so messed up"

They dont meet again until a little run in with some pirates. Zuko only managing to find them with the fact that he is in fact near by and that he's on the water. Without letting onto the pirates that he knew anything he managed to pay for their items and leave in search of the avatar and his group.

Floating down the river he hears Katara's voice and calls for a docking. Walking off the boat he's greeted by an irritated watertribe girl who just puts her hands on her hips and proceeds to half scold have interrogate him in a simple question "are you finally here to join your soulmate or are you still trying to capture us?"

"Uh, the first one- hey! Ow! Hey!" At this point she had grabbed his ear and was dragging him back to the group with the scroll in hand

"Be quiet, they dont know I walked off" and she had him stay quiet until she put the scroll back and she lightly shook Aang awake "hey, wake up, you have someone you need to talk to"

Aang rolled over and stared at Zuko who was just leaning against a tree staring him down. The two met eyes and then turned away quickly. After a bit they sitting on the shore, Zuko with his legs stretched out and leaning on his hands while Aang sat with his legs crossed and his hands holding tight to his glider.

"So..." Zuko started and found himself unable to actually form a sentence

"So?" Aang pressed

"We're soulmates huh?" Zuko said turning to him

"Yeah, I'd say it was shocking but you're the spitting image of Kuzon"

"Kuzon?"

"Oh, sorry, he was my soulmate before... before I went into the ice."

Zuko blinked once, twice, thrice and then looked at him "went into ice?"

"Oh, yeah, uhm, thats how I survived the hundred years while still being 16." He gave a small shrug "stuff happens"

"That would explain why I had a knot instead of a string" Zuko pointed "I always had just a knot and I figured I would never meet my soulmate in this life, let alone that it'd be the avatar"

"Yeah, well, sorry about your luck bu-"

"Why would you be sorry? This is a good thing, well, I hope it is... im not good with making the right decisions, but I promised my mom before she left that I'd choose to stand beside my soulmate if I happened to find them in this life so.. I'm making a decision and it doesn't matter if its right or wrong this time."

Looking at his feet he let out a small sigh "I know you and your group still have to decide if you want to accept me, but regardless of how you decide I won't be getting in your way anymore"

"Zuko, of course we'd accept you, I mean, Im sitting here... alone... well Katara and Sokka are in the tree's up there thinking we don't know they're there. But we trust you enough to have me relatively vulnerable with you so.. uh, welcome to the group."

"Thanks..."

"Oh right... you never learned my name huh? Aang... my name's Aang"

And he travels with them. He travels in the hopes of ending this war. When they finally do end the war, Zuko took the throne, and Aang set off to do his avatar duties. It took roughly six months for them to come back together, and when they did, they became inseparable.

They spent a good 6 years together before either of them decided to propose because the world was healing and they were the heads of this healing so of course they'd be caught up. However when Aang finally decided to propose it was with a ring he spent a good half of a year working on. He carved it out of redwood and used a lightning stone frome the beaches in the lightning pass as the decorative center. The wood had delicate carvings of Ran and Sha on either side of the stone. With the ring finished he held onto it waiting for the perfect moment. But of course it never felt right until one morning when they were sitting by the turtleduck pond.

Aang was tired of waiting for the perfect time. "Whats wrong love?" Zuko said with a small coo as he placed a kiss to Aangs jaw, given that he was at this point taller than him.

Aang pulled out the box and proposed right there, which Zuko in turn pulled out a box of his own, the ring was a delicate gold band with a moonstone decorated with rubies lining the band. The two ended up in tears by the time they got the rings on their fingers.

The wedding was a big event of course, not only was it their marraige it was the joining of the firelord and the avatar. Each nation wanted a small reception and of course Aang being the party type was more than excited to do multiple receptions.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko #avatar aang #atla aang #aang #i will die on my endless soulmate au hill #soulmate alternate universe #soulmates #soulmate #red string of fate #red string au #this got out of hand so fast and Im only a little sorry about it. not really though because I think its absolutely adorable

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saniiieee · 4 years

Text

Hope for Humanity

hi guys so this was actually the story that i submitted on the ateez board so i just thought i'd post it here for u guys to read :^) i hope u enjoy it!

word count: 2.1k

genre: sci-fi??? im not sure but it's something like that ㅠㅠ

warnings: kidnapping, near-death experience

After the catastrophe occurred, everything changed.

The skies never became blue again, the grasses never grew back to its green shade, the stars that were once twinkling brightly were nowhere to be seen, and even the sounds of the noisy cicadas at night were never heard from again.

A year passed by but nothing seemed to change.

Is all hope really lost for humanity?

--JULY 7, 2021--

The rays of the sun kissed his soft skin as the waves nearby crashed to the shore. Birds were chirping melodies that rang beautifully in his ears. A waft of the seawater brought by the winds caught the attention of his nose that calmed him down.

His body laid still, enjoying the warmth that the sun brought after a long year of living under a grey sky.

A long haired figure walked towards his direction and sat down beside him.

“Seonghwa-ya,” the figure whispered.

His eyes slowly opened and was met by a pair of brown eyes that belonged to a woman. Her scent reminded him of the freesia flowers that his mom used to gather from their garden back home.

"No matter what happens, you have to find mom. Okay?" She said in a gentle tone, her eyes welling up in tears as she took his hand and handed him a silver bracelet.

Lips quivering, she smiled at him one last time. She got up and slowly retreated, fading into thin air.

Noona. His eyes shot open as he came to his senses, a stray tear falling down his eye. A cold object was clasped in his hand--his older sister's bracelet.

Even though it was a dream, the scent of his sister still lingered near but slowly faded away.

Seonghwa was separated from his sister back in the rescue camp when they had to segregate the men from women.

As if having an amnesia, he doesn't remember her name, but he knows it was her older sister.

He scanned the place and realized that he was alone, sitting up on a couch, inside his friend's cabin.

It was the usual quiet night with the cold breeze of July brushing on his cheeks, sending chills down his spine.

Standing up while rubbing his hands together to make his hands warm, he freshened up and tidied his outfit before heading outside to see if the others were there.

He stepped out and admired the view of the campfire in the middle of the forest, surrounded by carved logs for people to sit on.

"Hyung!" A voice called out. He looked at the source of the voice, sitting on one of the benches.

"Oh Yeosang! I didn't know you were here too!" He joyfully replied back.

Yeosang was one of his best friends. They met at a rescue camp after the pandemic died down a year ago.

He has blonde hair that matched his complexion and brown eyes that always had a sparkle in them.

"Do you know where everyone went?" Seonghwa asked, walking towards his direction.

The blonde boy shrugged and replied, "I just got here a while ago but I heard that something happened to Yunho's brother so he told me to stay here until you wake up."

Seonghwa nodded in agreement and looked up to the sky only to be met by darkness--no stars; just a dim glint of the moonlight. It was as if he was staring at a blank canvas.

With a lamp in hand, Yeosang offered Seonghwa to take a stroll in a nearby logging area to get some wood for the campfire; and Seonghwa gladly agreed.

As they were walking, Seonghwa asked, "Did you know that if you looked at the one of the brightest stars at night and make a wish, it will come true?"

The blonde boy looked at the sky for a while and replied with a shrug. Yeosang was legally blind since he was little.

He cannot see anything far away from him so he didn't know what stars really look like except for the ones he saw on story books.

"It's kinda sad because there's not even one star right now and I wanted to make a wish so bad," Seonghwa sulked as they walked quietly to their destination, Yeosang looking at the ground the whole way there.

At the logging area, there was a comfortable silence looming over the two boys while they were picking up wood for the campfire.

The silence was then broken by a sound of footsteps, someone huffing and puffing as if they ran a mile.

"Seonghwa, Yeosang!" The person called out with their shaky voice.

The two boys looked at the source of the voice and it was a woman.

"Haneul noona!" Yeosang exclaimed.

They two boys ran over and helped her sit down on a log. Haneul looked disheveled as sweat ran down her forehead, her eyes swollen for crying so much.

"Please help me find San. We were supposed to go back to the cabin after getting some things for the camp when suddenly someone took him to a truck and fled away," the woman said between sobs, wiping her tears away with her trembling hands.

"Did you see where the truck was headed?" Seonghwa asked as he pat her back to calm her down.

"They were headed northside." Yeosang and Seonghwa looked at each other and helped her up to take her back to the cabin.

3 Hours Ago

"Choi San! I told you to help me pack up food and water for the camp. What on earth are you doing?" San's sister, Haneul, said, clearly irritated by her younger brother's actions.

San was at the doorstep, sitting down with his hands on either side of his cheeks, contemplating his life choices.

Should I still go out with them? He thought to himself.

San stood up abruptly and went inside to help his sister with packing.

After packing their things, San headed out towards the front of their house with a bag in hand, waiting for his sister to go out.

Suddenly, a truck stopped by and a man walked out heading towards San's direction.

The man's hand covered his mouth while the other hand took his bag and dropped it on the ground as he dragged him back to the truck.

San's sister got out and saw that San was getting dragged by an unknown man towards the truck. She dropped the things she was holding and ran for them but the truck already sped up.

She was left there, panic washing over her face, not knowing what to do.

The truck was speeding through the highway as hiphop music blasted out the stereo.

"Wooyoung! I told you to never to pick me up like that again, someone might have seen you!" San shouted above the booming music inside the truck.

"Yeah I'm sorry it's actually more fun that way," Wooyoung shouted back with a playful smile as they danced to the music.

Wooyoung is San's friend who happens to be a scavenger. He and his gang robs settlements for supplies such as food, water, and medicine--sometimes money if they are lucky.

San was forced to join the gang to pay back Wooyoung's boss who saved them after the pandemic died down. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't be alive and healthy.

San didn't really like the idea of robbing people so he ends up being the getaway driver instead of going out and fighting with the others.

On the way to the settlement they were about to rob, San's eyes were slowly shutting and without hesitation, he drifted into sleep.

San was tied up with chains to a chair.

He opened his eyes and all he saw was darkness. In the darkness, however, a man emerged, staring intently into San's eyes. His lips was sealed off with a chained mask, and an hourglass sat upright on his right hand.

"It's not the reality that makes you lose your dream, it is your decision. Choose well. Will you live like this until your last breath, or will you follow your dream?" The man said with his raspy voice.

All San wanted was to be free from all this mayhem. He wanted to live in peace without disrupting other people's lives.

He wanted to break free from the chains.

He was afraid that one day it will eat up his conscience.

"Choose well." The voice of the man rang through San's ears and he jolted awake, still inside the moving truck.

His heart was beating so fast as sweat dribbled down his forehead.

The thought of running off without anything but a switchblade in the back of his pocket made him ecstatic but nervous at the same time.

"Hey Wooyoung I think one of our tires are flat, mind checking it?" The driver said as he pushed the hazard button, slowly parking on the side of the road.

I'm sick of this. Now's my chance to go back. San thought to himself.

As the car abruptly stopped, he jumped out of the truck and ran to the direction that they came from with great speed, as if his whole life depended on it.

The driver noticed San escaping and their other gang member tried to run to get him but it was no use, he was already meters away.

"Come on just let him be, guys, I bet he didn't even like this job anyway," Wooyoung said with a broken smile as the two gang members came back to him.

Hours passed, San was exhausted. He laid down on the side of the road, covered in sweat. His lips dry, his throat parched and in need of water.

Is this how I'm going to leave the Earth? Will I not see my sister again? Did I really have to leave Wooyoung behind?

All these questions were running in his mind, asking for answers that he hopes would be given to him.

Suddenly a beam of light came to his view, the purrs of a car engine made him come to his senses. He held up a hand as a signal, hoping for the people inside to see.

The car tires screeched to a halt and San sighed in relief, smiling as his eyes looked up to the dark sky. Pairs of feet got off the car to go to where San was lying down and one of them was his sister's.

"Choi San! You idiot! Why would you leave your older sister like that?" His sister cried as she cradled him in her arms, tears flowing freely down her face.

San smiled at her and shakily breathed out.

A pair of hands offered to help him sit down and gave him water to drink. San gulped it down as quickly as he can because he craved for water after running for such a while.

Yeosang and Seonghwa were the other two people that his sister was with. Seonghwa took their village captain's car while Yeosang helped Haneul to get supplies for the long ride.

Thanks to them they got to San just in time before he passes out.

The boys helped San up to walk towards their car to let him rest and get settled down, his sister taking out a blanket from the trunk of the car to keep San warm.

"Hey, we're moving to another settlement. It was raided by a gang and we got out of there just before everything turned into chaos," Seonghwa announced and they all nodded in agreement.

They all got into the car with Seonghwa driving, Yeosang in the passenger's seat, and the Choi siblings at the back. They drove off to another area in hopes that a settlement or village will let them stay.

A day of driving passed by and they stumbled upon the village where Yunho and his brother was living in. There were people guarding the gates in case scavengers try to rob them of their supplies.

Seonghwa drove the car near the gate and notified them about what happened to their settlement.

They were brought in and they were met with Yunho and his brother, welcoming them to their village. They lived there for good and it was a pleasing sight. Everyone was smiling despite the struggles that they've been through.

Yes, there might be some challenges such as shortages of food and supplies; however what matters the most is that they're together, living on and living forward to where life takes them.

Even if the skies will never turn blue again, if the grasses never grew back its green shade, if the stars will never show up in the night sky, and if the sounds of the cicadas at night will never be heard from again, atleast all hope is not lost for humanity.

#ateez seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez san #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez yeosang #ateez au #ateez wooyoung #dystopic #post apocalypse but not really?#ateez angst

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1128

[created by: pinkchocolate]

When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well.

It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.

What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).

Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.

The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.

What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.

If so, what did you specifically like about it?

Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.

When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.

Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.

Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.

Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.

Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((

Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.

Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.

Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.

Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.

^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.

What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.

Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.

Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.

How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.

What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.

When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.

Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.

Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.

Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.

If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.

Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.

Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.

What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.

What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.

How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.

Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.

Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.

Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.

Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.

Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.

Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.

As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.

Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.

Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.

Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.

Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.

Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.

Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.

What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.

What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.

What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.

Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.

^ If so, why do you think that happened?

If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.

Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.

Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.

Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.

^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.

#survey #surveys

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zzariyo · 5 years

Note

Obligatory revali 👀

AH YES i was waiting for this

favorite thing about them:

everything? everything? everything?

his design. the intricacy of his character!!!!!!! his EYES.

like. hooouugghhhh im passed my phase of being horny for hiM BUT LIKE

THIS JUST PULLS ME BACK BRO HOOOOOOOOOOUGH hRRRNNNGGHHHHH

least favorite thing about them:

ok so in actuality im usually not a fan of the character trope of “i’m BETTER than you, you slimy disgusting bastard” but he’s just such a good character and like i said he is so INTRICATE and is SO complicated and that’s just so sexy of him

is that a least favorite thing about him? no. but i dont have one because he is my everything so get out

but if i have any complaint it’s the fact that he shrieked, “GOOD LUCK SEALING THE DARKNESS!!!!” in the eng dub instead of. idk. doing that cute fucking laugh like in all the other dubs. but what do i know im just the biggest revali stan on the face of the planet

favorite line:

i know it isn’t that deep when he said “Your job is far from finished you know” but out of context it’s really inspiring actually and sometimes gets me thru. that’s why its my blog name

and when he went tch.

and whenever he said something pompous

and basically whenever he said anything

brOTP:

idk if you could tell but Urbosa and Revali is my absolute fAVORITE. he looks up to her so much and values her opinion but won’t admit it. she’s like his big sister mom

also him and Zelda. Them doing each other’s hair? i cry

and him and Mipha. Him looking out for her but trying not to be too obvious about it ???????? shut UP.

OTP:

HMMMMMM I WONDER…..

we all kno im feral about revalink considering its been the center of my life for the past year and a half but . i dont want to admit it cuz i dont wanna be like that but quite honestly im just as feral about revali/meelo (reelo? meevali?) and routinely lay awake thinking about it. my hands are shaking thinking about it. oh fuck. oh god.

NOTP:

i can totally get behind the thought process behind Revali/Zelda and Revali/Mipha but i dont ship it and i’ll prolly never be into it

other than that there’s not really anything that fuels my rage

random headcanon:

whenever he’s practicing archery he glances over his shoulder to see if Link is watching

unpopular opinion:

revali is GOOD. if you come into my house and call him an asshole or whatever the sort i WILL break your bones and you WILL die

also now i want to throw up whenever i see ‘asinine’ PLS STOP USING IT WITH HIM I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE SAJGKDAKSGHKASGJDH

song i associate with them:

//rubs together my gross little fingers

i’ll do you better. i’ll give you many

silly revali song that i have an amv for in my head lol:

Me Too by Meghan Trainor

about revali’s selfishness and pride:

Blast Doors by Everything Everything

revali-centric revalink songs:

Drink About by Seeb and Dagny

Focus by Ariana Grande

revali’s lament in ehc,,,:

Again by Crusher-P

favorite picture of them:

ohhhhh fuck there’s so many to choose from SHIT

here’s some of my favorites by うかた !!

OKAY THAT’S IT OR ELSE WE’LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT

#i thought it was silly when ppl had one-sided relationships with characters that arent even fucking real #but i get it now.#i get it.

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blue-hi · 4 years

Text

i’ve been awake since 4:30 am and it’s 9:00 now so i need to get this out because it’s been months and i havent been able to spit the whole thing out and i need to SAY something so i think i’ll jst yell into the void so

thanks

ive had insomnia since at least mid october. cant really remember now when it started. i’d keep waking up in th emiddle of the night, always around 2 or 3 am and it would take ages to get back to sleep.

ive never been one for all nighters and i like getting a full night’s sleep and all of a sudden i wasn;t getting it and for no reason too. this scared me. it still scares me. i reached out to my mom for idk emotional support??? i didn’t want to be alone

“this happens to other people too” started out as a way to help but the way she said it sounded like she was dismissing me and what was happening. like it would all clear up soon so i had no reason to bother her

then the week before halloween almost all my classes assigned projects or had a test and they were all assigned at the same time at the end of the week and were all due at the same time on halloween. the saturday before halloween and after i got all the assignments i slept particularly awfully and i just broke down in th emiddle of the library. like all day and i couldn’t stop. that scared me even more bc if it happened once it can happen again

im terrified. that’s the core of the issue

that day my mom and aunt got me a plane ticket to fly home for the next weekend to see if being home would fix things. we even had a doctor’s appointment it didn’t fix anything. the doctor told me things i already knew but also decided i had generalized anxiety disorder and that was why i couldn;t sleep even though i wasn;t scared until after it started and i slept terribly that night again. i was hysterical. i still had no idea why i couldn’t sleep i shouldn’t have paced that loud in the hallway but yeah i wanted attention i felt alone. maybe it was selfish but i just wanted a hug and i knew then i was in for the long haul and i didn’t want to be afraid AND be alone but my mom just yelled at me (which she had the right to i was being not-great) and i felt i was burdening her. that’s when i realized she either can’t or won’t be there with me or both

i went to the counselor at my school and i just vented. not all of this but some of it and i had other problems at the time like my major and some classes but those had all worked themselves out by the end of november i also went to the health center and got a little bottle of this drug called hydroxyzine and that started helping a little bit. i was taking tylenol pm every night before that and apparently this was something stronger

then thanksgiving rolled around and i was still having some issues. one thing i remember most vividly is twin and i were going to drive to our dad’s house for the day. normally i drive but i handed the keys to twin because i hadn’t slept well and didn’t feel like driving. my mom noticed and asked why i didn’t want to drive and i SHOULD have lied and said that i wanted twin to practice but i told he truth and said i felt too tired to drive and she rolled her eyes at me later in the break one morning she asked me how i slept again and i said poorly and i was still half asleep but i swear she scoffed

then i knew i REALLY couldn;t expect her to help me. not even with the sleeping but just with support.

i went back to the school counselor (different person though) and! my mom still doesn’t know about that visit. she doesn;t know that counselor said that insomnia sometimes predates depression symptoms. should i tell her that? that’s also terrifying. i managed to get out of high school without really any mental illness issues so i;m a lucky one but that’s what i’m scared about going forward

i feel like it’s not as serious as it feels and that no i don’t have anxiety and no i don’t have depression (yet) and that i should just suck it up until i do but also i can have emotions because i;m a fucking person and ‘m allowed to tell people about them without feeling like a burden or a fake bc god forbid i have a single negative emotion in front of someone. i’ve always been a “good girl low maintenance child” and FUCK that

weirdly i started to sleep well during finals week and these past 2 weeks on break too but i think that’s because the hydroxyzine started to kick in. except oops now my supply is low and i have about a week or two left until i completely run out and the little bottle says NO REFILLS LEFT so i have to figure out how to get more for the semester last night i tried to go to bed without taking one to see if i’ve gotten any better. news flash nothing’s changed without it and now everything that had gone away in the last 3 weeks all the anxiety and hopelessness and tiredness and terror all came back last night and right now i feel like i;m back in the library again bc i can’t stop crying

what if i can’t get more before the semester starts?? if i’m like this during break what’ll happen when i have to stress again?

i came downstairs at 8 to do organic chemistry on khan academy because if i can’t sleep then i might as well do something productive. mom came down to get ready for work and she saw me and asked me if i was upset about not sleeping again

i was an idiot and said yeah - that’s what i hate too. i want to be honest about mental health with people and how i’m doing but to stop this i need to lie to her. now i’ll always be fine! and she never has to know if i;m in a bad way just as she likes it and i feel a w f u l about it. it makes be feel petty and petulant but i’m non confrontational. i want to tell her everything i;ve written here and just be so honest she has to listen to me instead of dismissing me every time but every time she asks i clam up and i failed again this morning she accused me of wanting to feel scared because “i hadn’t tried everything yet”. she and family members for christmas sent me some things that are supposed to help like a light developed by insomniacs or a winter light and i really do appreciate all of it, but they all came when the medicine was working so i didn’t NEED it. last night was different because i am a scientist and am my own guinea pig and i wanted to see what would happen if i didn’t take the drugs. i’ll use all of that tonight in Phase 2 of the Worst Experiment Ever but she wouldn’t LISTEN to me when i said that either.

now i’ll just say nothing. why should she know it’s only caused both of us stress. i wish she would take this (insomnia! depression!! mental health woo!) as seriously as she took my acne when i was 12. still now if i have a zit she feels entitled to touch my face. do you wanna know how you can help??? stay away from me and don’t wonder why i kind of want to tell her. she’s coming back home in a couple of hours bc it’s new year’s eve and i might still be in a state who knows but i’ll choke again and she’ll yell at me again and nothing will have changed

people have asked me how my semester went and “it’s been a shitty one,” i wanna say but normally i just say that i’m glad it’s over only for my parents to swoop in and say “it can’t have been all that bad i mean you did well with your grades in the end” like !! i pulled that B in physics out of my ass! just because i did ok academically because i’m lucky and good at school doesn’t mean my health was great! my dad can’t help me either because i’ll say that my mental health recently isn’t as good as it could be and he just goes “aww sweetie.” and that’s it. nothing else. thanks dad. i know you don’t know what to do with that information and i don’t fault you for that because emotions have never taken precedence in either household (except for all the curse words i learned from my mom when she’s inconvenienced)

all of this and i still don’t know why i can’t sleep normally

thanks for reading this fkn novel all of this has been on my chest for a LONG time and i haven’t had the chance to say any of it and if i get the chance i’m afraid i’ll forget something (i probably did here, too). i truly mean thank you. this has been cathartic to write, even though i still need to go to a counselor or something. i hope your new year (and decade!) is bright

#i don't know what else to say or do

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rossmccallsqueen · 5 years

Text

Everything I Do (John Deacon Imagine)

Pairing: John Deacon x Reader

Summary: You and John have a newborn son, and John decides to bring you with him on tour. He just wants to be the best dad he can be.

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: None! Just pure fluff!

Requested: Yes! I received a request for 70s!Dad Deaky, and this came to my mind. Hope you like it!

-------

Johns POV

It was one of the first nights of the tour. Of course we were all still getting used to the routine. We being myself, my wife Y/N, our son James, and of course the band. Y/N and I had discussed her staying home with James instead of them coming out on the road with me, but ultimately we decided that it would just be best if we traveled together.

Besides, I thought it was good to show James the world young. Thankfully we had a bus to ourselves (even though Brian would occasionally escape to our bus to avoid Freddie and Roger’s antics) which made it a little easier traveling with a newborn.

Rolling over once again, I decided to look at the clock even though I knew I didn’t want to know what time it was. 2:37am is what I saw. The middle of the night. Which coincidentally was around James’ favorite time of the night to be awake.

I could hear him fussing across the bus, but Y/N was dead to the world. I didn’t really mind getting up with him, and I knew Y/N needed the sleep way more than I did. Sure my job is hard, but being a mom is way harder. Especially a first time mom.

I dragged my ass out of bed, and over to the crib we brought with us. John was waving his little arms around everywhere like he was trying to escape the clutches of his blanket. I just looked down at him for a minute, sometimes I had to just look at him. Sometimes I literally couldn’t believe that we had created a little human. This little human was OURS. I picked him up, and his big blue eyes looked up at mine.

Look into my eyes

You will see, what you mean to me

Search your heart, search your soul

Of course all babies had blue eyes at first, so I couldn’t help but wonder who’s eyes he would take after. I would literally do anything for this little human, no matter what I had to do.

“What’s wrong little guy? Daddy’s got you, you’re okay.” I said, giving him a kiss on the forehead. He calmed down a little once I began rocking him. A simple motion, but it was all he wanted. He just wanted to be held, just like his mum.

“You have your mum’s nose… I can’t believe I never noticed that before.” I found myself saying to James. I knew he couldn’t understand me but I talked anyway.

“Thanks for keeping daddy company on the road. It would get really lonely without you. Your mum being here is nice too, but now we have you. Don’t tell her I said that.” I laughed to myself a little bit. Now I wouldn’t be able to come on the road without them quite honestly. They were my life now.

You know it’s true

Everything I do

I do it for you

“You know I love you right? I never want you to think I don’t love you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to your Mum and I. Don’t tell roger I said that either.” I looked down and James was already back to being fast asleep. He looked so peaceful, not knowing any of the harm the world had to offer yet. I never wanted him to experience that.

Instead of putting him back down in his crib, I brought him back to bed with me. I comforted him, but in a way he was now the one comforting me. I laid down next to Y/N, and placed James on my chest. He made a few noises in his sleep, and I was afraid I’d almost woken him up again. But he was still fast asleep, just like his mum.

Was it possible to love two people this much? It had to be, because I was experiencing it. I reached out to rub Y/N’s flair and James’ at the same time. If I could freeze time, I would freeze it right here. This moment was perfect, I was traveling the world with my family and my band. I couldn’t ask for anything more, I didn’t think.

There’s no love like your love

And no other could give me more love

There’s nowhere, unless you’re there

Eventually I fell back asleep too. Only being woken up when James started crying again. It was light out now, signaling we all should start getting ready for the day. We had a show in Cleveland that night, in Ohio. We’d never been there before so it made it special. At least for me, because I got to show James another new place.

“Are you sure you want us to come to the show tonight? He’s being awfully fussy today.” Y/N asked during rehearsal.

“Of course I do. I can’t perform without my two favorite people.” She smiles at me, sitting back down to watch.

“Johnny boy! I can see where your boy gets his lungs from.” Freddie called out.

“...Fred I’m the quiet one.” Roger was almost on the ground he was laughing so hard.

“Oh, I know.” Freddie winked.

“FRED!”

“Okay children can we get back to rehearsal please?” Brian chimed in. I just gave Y/N and James another smile, and went back to playing Killer Queen like we were before.

I loved whenever James could watch me play. Even though I knew he wouldn’t remember it most likely, I would and that meant the world. Not many people got the chance to show their kids stuff like this, but somehow I did. Once again I found myself wondering how we’d created an entire human.

Once the show began, Y/N and James we’re standing off to the side as always. James had his ear plugs in so the sound wouldn’t hurt his little ears. Y/N had him wave at me, and I knew the smile would never come off my face. I just hoped that I was making them proud, both of them.

I’ll walk the wire for you, I will die for you

You know it’s true

Everything I do, I do it for you

To me, the show was for them that night. It was always going to be for them, everything I did from that day on would always be for them. During I break I looked over at them again, I almost couldn’t help myself.

“I love you.” I mouthed, making sure they could see me.

“We love you.” I saw Y/N mouth back, and then I saw James, who was fast asleep. He was definitely my little boy.

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42ndmoon · 4 years

Text

a lil personal sob story about the worst year of my life: 2019

tw!!! mentions of: depression, self harm, eating disorder, anxiety, panic attacks, sexual harassment

i'm writing this on 19th january, 2020, 4:06am.

i really feel like shit.

i decided yesterday was the last day for me to have the privilege to enjoy things i like to eat. i've been always someone who starts eating mass of sweet stuff as a comfort when they're depressed but now it has to stop. now this whole crucial shit will start again. it's ironic bc it's been almost a year since this whole eating disorder thing even started. february 2019 until summer 2019 was probably the worst time of my life. and as the self-destructive person that i am, i'm wanting this time back.

during winter my depression gets so worse, i really can't breathe sometimes. usually i cry a lot, not necessarily bc im sad, but bc im very emotional and that's the only way i can express myself i guess. idk just sometimes i cry out of nowhere for no specific reason, it just helps me to cope with these enormous emotions that have built up inside of me. i just don't have another way to get rid of them. but during winter it's different. even if i wanted to, i couldn't cry. but instead of my emotions all swelling up bc of that, i just feel an emptiness that is slowly eating me up and weights hard on my chest.

when i feel like this, i always start to hurt or punishing myself in someway. when i was younger it used to be cutting myself, but after some accident i promised myself to never do that again. since then the years afterwards i started to push everyone around me away and shutting myself up even more as way to harm myself. and since last year it seems like i also started to starve myself as a punishment.

but that's not how it started exactly. eating disorders have many shapes and come in many different ways, but for me it started rather simple: i want to be skinny. let's lose some weight.

i've had always struggles with my body and a very low selfesteem. so.. with the fuel of my self-destructiveness, that diet escalated rather quickly. 2000 cals a day are considered healthy for a woman. soon enough i found 800 cals too much, then 500 cals, til i only allowed myself 150 cals a day. and it didn't happen rarely that i was just eating nothing for days. i was fully aware of what i'm doing and that this is not a healthy nor efficient way to lose weight. but i didn't care. for me this was the only way. my life was possessed by numbers. the numbers my scale showed me, the number of calories the food i ate had. and in a very strange and twisted way, i liked it, i didn't want to let go of it.

during this time i probably had the most anxiety and panic attacks than i've ever had. there was one time where it was specifically worse, i had to put on loud music, so the neighbors wouldn't hear my screams. the next day i had scratches and bruises all over my body. i've had beaten myself pretty much up because i was so ashamed and frustrated with my body.

i wish i could end this point on a good note, saying that i've recovered but its already written in the beginning. it's starting all over again.

but now to the last point that really shaped this fucked 2019 for me. someone i called my friend for years, betrayed my trust in probably the worst way. it was summer 2019, during that time we were really close, we had the similar interests and it was just easy to talk and joke around with him. we were visiting some part of his family during summer holidays since they had a pool and stuff. another friend was also supposed to come too but she couldn't make it. when i arrived there, ready to stay for 10 days, i was told i would be sleeping in the same bed as him. i didn't mind, since the bed was fucking huge and he was a friend i trusted so what could go wrong right? well lots. he took advantage of me when he thought i was sleeping and started to touch me. i was so scared and uncomfortable, i felt so filthy and i just wanted to push him away. but as i became aware of my situation i couldn't move. i was far from home, no phone signal and i don't have a car (and license) nor enough money to get home by myself. so if he got mad or anything what would i do? so i endured every night i was there. it was hell. i couldn't believe he was the same person i've known for years.

after i got home i didn't broke contact with him. i was still so shocked. i spent nights staying awake and thinking. when school started i just went on with my life and forced myself to forget about it. and if i couldn't forget about it, i was telling myself that what happened was all just imagination. i put all my force into convincing myself that this clearly didn't happen and still remained 'friends' with him. but as time passed i grew more and more passive aggressive towards him and more sleepless nights occoured where i couldn't get rid of the feeling of these bastards hands on my body. so of course one day he asked if something was bothering me and asked me if he did anything wrong. i ignored him at first. he kept trying to make me talk until i exploded. that happend at the beginning november 2019. 3 months after he touched me, i finally were able to process what happened. yeah so basically i got very mad, told him why i was mad and said he should leave me alone. he never contacted me again after i said that.

only last month, december 2019, i was able to talk with a friend about it. ever since then i'm scared to be with any man alone. i noticed that when my mom went grocery shopping and i was left alone with her boyfriend at home. i locked my room and was still panicking.

and that's how 2019 ended for me.

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