#somehow I'm projecting hard onto both of them

[weaveandwood]

Writing prompt - You and Gale are baking a cake - What happens?

Oh no cake batter found its way onto his dick

LMAO. I'm going to write this as Auroria and Gale , post Midwinter In Waterdeep when they're back together. Hiding under the cut because this got WAY more explicit than I thought it would. You're welcome! Thanks for the fun prompt!

NSFW 18+ Word Count: 1331 Warnings: Vaginal Sex

She returned to the cabin two days ago as promised, in advance of Morena's birthday party. Gale said they would typically order a cake from the baker, but Auroria suggested baking one together as a gift for her. Auroria and Gale had been married about a year, but she always felt a tug to try to impress Morena both in penance for the emotional turmoil she put her son through for seven years after their adventure ended and the desire for a mother figure in her life after not having that guiding figure for the last 27 years. Morena had said all was forgiven seeing how happy Gale was, but Auroria couldn't shake the feeling that she should always try harder.

She walked into their small kitchen from the cozy bedroom, seeing Gale already hard at work preparing the ingredients - eggs, sugar, flour, chocolate, butter. She walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder. 

"We're supposed to bake this together, dear husband."

He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. "You know, I never tire of being called that.”

“Good, because I will never tire of calling you that,” she smiled and stood beside him, looking at the neat countertop, everything in its place. “Let’s do this the old fashioned way, no magic.”

“Not even a little?” He looked flabbergasted. 

She shook her head. “No, it’ll mean more if it’s completely handmade. Besides, where is the fun if you don’t get a little messy every now and then?”

“Alright, alright, I surrender. You win again.” He laughed and kissed her softly, the spoon that was magically keeping the chocolate stirred, warm, and melted now laying still in the bowl. 

The pair got to work, Gale naturally taking the lead and instructing Auroria, who did most of the labor - mixing up the butter and sugar, adding the eggs, the chocolate, and finally the flour. Gale poured the batter into the cake tins and set them into their small oven. She stood with her hands on her hips, proud of the work they did and how well they worked together, even on this small project. Her previous demons were becoming smaller and smaller each time she came home. She loved what she and Gale had become.

“Not bad, we make a good team.”

“That we do, we hardly even made a mess..." He trailed off, surveying his beautiful wife, who had somehow gotten cake batter on both of her cheeks and the small sliver of skin showing at her chest in the opening of her top. He walked up to her, leaning in and used a finger to wipe the batter off her cheek. “I take that back,” he said, “you are covered in chocolate, Ora.” He laughed as he licked the batter off his finger. 

She shrugged. “Baking is messy, does the batter taste good at least?”

He leaned in closer, kissing her other cheek, licking off the batter. “Delicious.” He kissed down her neck, hitting that one spot that she liked before kissing down to the opening in her neckline, licking the batter off her chest. 

Auroria gasped, her hands moving into his hair, scratching gently at his scalp as he worked his way back up the other side of her neck to her earlobe. She tilted her head as he whispered, “I should see if you have batter anywhere else, my love.” She felt him tugging up the hem of her shirt, and she gladly lifted her arms up to help him. His hands immediately went to her breasts, kneading them gently, feeling her nipples getting hard under his deft touch. He unlaced her pants, pushing them off her hips to the floor, leaving her naked. She left out a soft moan as he touched her, which only made him want her more. “I need you, Ora. Now.”

“Hmm, first I think I need to make sure you didn’t get any chocolate on you, don’t you think?” She smiled, tugging at his shirt, knowing he didn’t have anything on him, but wanting to tease him just the same. She had never seen him take off his clothes more quickly - well, except maybe that first night in the Shadow Cursed Lands or the first Midwinter they reunited. She looked at him, his body softer with age and comfort though still athletic and absolutely, devastatingly perfect. The orb was now a faint scarring of lighter skin, mostly hidden by his chest hair. As her eyes traveled over his body, she saw exactly how much he desired her. 

“Sadly, I’m afraid you are perfectly clean, my love,” she said before closing the distance between them, kissing him deeply, reaching down to wrap her hands around him, already hard, and felt him groan into her mouth as she started to stroke him. He guided her back to the countertop as they kissed, then she felt his hands on her waist, lifting her up onto the countertop, still covered in flour. 

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers as his hand slid its way down her hips between her legs, rubbing her, feeling her wet for him already. “Gods how did I get so lucky? Look at you, it’s all I can do not to be inside you all day. I want you, please let me have you,” he practically panted, a finger sliding inside her. She loved his fingers for many reasons, but the way they knew exactly how to play her made her wonder if Gale was a musician in a past life. She arched her back, moaning softly. 

“Then have me, Gale. Have me.”

Gale wasted no time. His hands went to her hips, pulling her forward on the countertop so she was at the very edge before wrapping a hand around his hard cock, lining it up at her entrance before pushing it in slowly. He would never tire of this - feeling the way she gave around him, taking him in. A perfect fit. As he entered her fully, all thoughts left him, as they usually did. He lightly bit down on her shoulder as he held her legs apart, thrusting slowly at first, then picking up speed. The sound of their bodies hitting together and their soft pants and grunts the only noise in the small cabin. 

“I will admit I don’t think I will last long, my dear. You feel too good this morning,” he panted, fucking her harder, feeling the familiar tension in his abdomen as he got closer to release. He could feel her tightening around him, knowing she was close as well. Knowing he could bring her to her own precipice this quickly helped spur him on. He reached between them, his fingers circling her clit, rubbing that precious bundle of nerves he loved to pay special attention to. 

She cried out as he rubbed her, holding onto his arms tightly. “Make me come with you,” she panted 

He fucked her hard, each stroke punctuated as he almost pulled out of her before slamming back in, keeping a good pace. He knew she liked it when he was steady. He felt her tightening up, her body going still. She was almost there. He leaned in. “Come for me Ora, I want to feel you around me, then I want to come deep inside you.”

His filthy words, his warm breath on her ear sent her over the edge. She gripped on to him, crying out loudly as her body tightened up and let go, orgasm rocking through her, feeling him fuck her through it. 

“That’s it,” he whispered, his strokes picking up speed as she came, his groans getting louder as he got closer and closer before he found his own release, crashing into her, spilling his seed deep inside her. He finally slowed down, a satisfied exhaustion creeping into his bones as he laid his head on her shoulder, laughing as he looked at her - she was covered in flour handprints, and he assumed he was as well.

“We should bake together more often,” she teased before he kissed her again.

#my writing #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #gale x tav #gale x auroria #woodweave #whew my first published smut!

[lovesickgoose]

What if the most self-centered man in the world was forced to care about other people by his hot sort-of-boyfriend

#jitus #somehow I'm projecting hard onto both of them #I'm giving them both all my hobbies #what if: community gardening #brought to you because i was just out weeding and planting poppies #unrelated but I've just discovered bastardly little sparrows have been eating my lettuce and I'm fucking livid #not scribbling

[hxney-lemcn]

I Love You~ — NRC Students x gn! reader

summary: How Twisted Wonderland boys react to you saying "I love you."

tw: stalking (Rook), slight angst for some, mainly fluff.

a/n: this is the most I've written for for so many characters. I hope I did them well, I even wrote for characters I'm not confident in. Also, I swear they don't all just say I love you too back, Heartslabyul boys are just too sweet not not (for the most part).

wc: 4.5k (~200 each character)

Master List

Your feelings had been building up over time. It got to the point that it felt like all your feelings were bubbling over. It was only sooner or later that the depth of your love was going to spill. You only hoped that it wouldn’t scare him away.

Riddle Rosehearts

It wasn’t the first time you said those damn words that sent his heart into cardiac arrest. ‘Love you,’ You would chime playfully as he seemed near to scolding you for something or another. He hated to admit how effective those words were on him, it didn’t help how you said it so casually. Yet this time was different, your tone being nothing but soft, your eyes nothing but warm…he wasn’t prepared for this. Avoiding your loving gaze, Riddle could feel his brain melt, his tongue felt like lead, and his heart was beating erratically. When your gaze turned worried, shying away the longer he stayed silent, he somehow gathered the courage to respond.

“I-I love you too.”

Trey Clover

It was no secret how much you both cared for each other. You both seemed like a married couple to the other students. You never really needed to say anything out loud because your love was shown through actions, the way you both smiled at each other, and how the other was always on the mind. Yet hearing you say those words out loud shocked him. What shocked him even more was how much he longed to hear you say it again, and again, and again. It didn’t take long for him to regain his composure, smile brightening as he didn’t even hesitate to respond.

“I love you too~”

Cater Diamond

He always hid behind a smile and a flash of his camera. People would say his care for you only ran skin deep, but you knew otherwise. You had managed to wiggle your way through Cater’s walls and that scared him, but it also brought a sense of relief. His compliments towards you were genuine, showing you just how much his fans loved you (an extension of his own love). He’d always say he loved you playfully, sending a wink your way making you nearly combust…and you’d respond in kind (unknowingly doing the same to him). So when you said those three simple words, your tired eyes fluttering shut as you snuggled into his blankets, he felt like he was going to puke. He felt like a complete coward that he could only reply back after you had fallen asleep, vowing to show you just how much he cared the next day.

“I love you more than you know.”

Deuce Spades

We all know that Deuce isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, yet you found that endearing. The way he showed his care for you was so obvious it was hard to ignore. How he clearly favored you over Ace, sending threatening glares to any student who dares to look at you the wrong way. You had never felt safer than when you were with Deuce, so you’d try to reciprocate…yet he always seemed to outshine you in your made up care competition. Yet you quickly found his weakness after he shied away after you hugged him once. So when he did something so endearingly silly, it was only natural for those three words to slip…rip Deuce. He stammered, face blazing red as he tried to wrap around what you said, trying to untangle any hidden meanings. Bashfully, he couldn’t meet your eyes as he responded.

“I…love you too.”

Ace Trappola

This menace. He flexes all the time, claiming how you must love him with the way you follow him like a puppy. Yeah…he makes it hard sometimes. So out of spite you’d go to Deuce, causing Ace to sulk. It was in those moments that you realized he was lowkey (highkey) projecting his feelings onto you. It helped you deal with his unabashed praise for himself. You found yourself teasing Ace back, poking him and irritating him (he did find it annoying but he’d rather your attention be on him then anyone else). He’d show off during his games, always looking towards you and making him a clumsy mess on the court. When you finally muttered how you felt (somewhat bitterly) Ace felt his brain shut down for a second before quickly rebooting, a shaky smirk on his face with bright red cheeks as he replied. 

“Of course you do! Who wouldn’t- OW! Okay, okay, I l-like you too I guess.”

(bro couldn’t even say love you back 💀)

Leona Kingscholar

To anyone who didn’t know him, they’d think he was indifferent to you, if not annoyed by you. Yet to your and Ruggie’s keen eyes it was easy to see his affection for you crack through his impervious exterior. How he’d drag you with him for his constant naps, how he’d let you play with his hair, and how he’d glare at anyone who seemed to get a little too friendly with you. Leona didn’t like being vulnerable, after all, showing your belly meant submission and death. So when you said those three words he’d dreamt of you saying, how lovingly you were staring at him as you fiddled with one of his braids, he felt his scowl worsen at the fluttery feeling in his chest. His green eyes glanced away, his face softening back into a neutral expression.

“I better be the only one you say that to, herbivore.”

Ruggie Bucchi

He’s another one that people can’t tell if he likes you or is using you. Whenever you were seen with him you were helping him with chores (in reality you only helped him so you both could relax together afterwards). It was clear how much you cared for him, bringing him snacks, helping him with chores, offering to pay for his meals (rip your already bare wallet). In return, he’d share with you. A feat that no one had ever seen him do before. Ruggie never felt guilty for taking/getting food…that was until you never seemed annoyed by how much he took from you. So he felt it was only fair if you had some too…you did pay for it after all. He found his tail wagging when you smiled at him, hugging him, or even when you ruffled his hair. So when you said that! Those words he never expected to be uttered from your lips, let alone aimed at him, his tail just couldn’t stop moving! No matter how composed he seemed, it was like his brain was on fire (insert that spongebob clip).

“Shishishi, I suppose I might feel the same…the price for that information is the other half of your donut. Shishi.”

Jack Howl

This guy. Definition of tsundere. Acts like he wants nothing to do with you while sticking by your side for as long as he can. The nice thing is that he helps you become more healthy. He never forces you, but you feel more inclined to join him in his ‘morning’ jogs (his morning jog is way too early for you so it's technically his second jog of the day and he calls it his wind down jog). Everyone can tell how he feels for you, it's clear in the way his eyes are always searching for your comfort, how he steps in when someone gets too pushy, or when his tail sways when all your attention is on him. Another guy you feel super safe with. The two of you were studying when you said it, atmosphere warm. Jack’s ear twitched, unsure if he heard you correctly, eyes searching yours for confirmation. When you gave no indication that you were joking or being silly, it felt like his heart flipped.

“I…care about you…as well.”

Azul Ashengrotto

He is sneakily unseaky about his feelings. One moment he’s treating you like an actual valued guest with no hidden intentions (😒) and the next he’s lowkey (highkey) flexing on you. Mixed signals because you aren’t sure if he’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself or if he’s trying to make himself look better to you. “Oh don’t worry, this won’t put a dent in my pockets,” He’d say with a smug smirk (you’re lowkey side-eyeing him). One time you poked him to see how’d he react and it was super amusing. Ran away with the brightest blush you’d ever seen claiming he had work to do…yeah…right. When you realized he is in fact trying to impress you (and realized it was really fun to tease him with affection), you became more comfortable around him, looking forward to the next time you could visit the Mostro Lounge. It got to the point that Jade would just bring you to the VIP room (if Azul wasn’t busy swindling a poor soul). When you spoke those words it came out of seemingly nowhere, Azul spilling ink all over a contract he just finished writing. He was so close to darting out of the room, face ablaze, hands trembling. Do you know just how powerful those words are? 

“P-perhaps…d-do you…I-I think…” (You broke him, don’t worry he just needs time to collect himself. He loves you too 💖)

Jade Leech

Rip. It kinda takes a lot to catch his eye (do you even want that?). He found it amusing how kind you were, you wouldn’t make it for a second in the deep (k…). Yet what really caught his eye was that you were a green thumb. How you recognized one of his mushrooms and the gleam in your eyes as you stated all you knew about it (not much, but more than anyone else he’s met). Now you have a scary eel that pops up every now and then. Jade only cared about mushrooms, but now on his hikes he’d spot a plant you liked (every now and then bringing it back for you). Downside, you now had Floyd’s attention as well. I mean c’mon, his brother finding interest in someone? He just had to check the guppy out…thankfully Jade stopped him from squeezing you (a true testament of his care for you). The words spilled out of you when Jade had offered to…’help’...with a certain…’problem’ of yours (an annoying student who wouldn’t leave you alone). A look of pure shock washed over his face before it quickly turned into a cunning grin, something that sent the hairs on your arms to raise. 

“My my, what a bold statement. Please, treat me gently would you?~” (He did not forget about your ‘problem’)

Floyd Leech

Rip #2. You know he cares (sometimes) when he stops calling you guppy (sometimes he does it just to annoy someone cough Riddle cough). Your case was a mix of both. One time when Floyd wouldn’t stop poking your cheeks you poked his nose with a ‘boop’, and he had deemed you boops. Also wouldn’t stop booping you back after that. He is not ashamed at all. He’d squeeze you, drape over you, pick you up, poke you, nearly kill you. The usual. You always would pretend to be annoyed (although sometimes that annoyance was very real) and Floyd always found your reactions hilarious. Although he had his bad moods, 6/10 times he’d feel better when you booped him. Jade would tease him, Azul would ask you over to the Mostro Lounge more often, even Riddle would avoid you (because where you were Floyd had to be nearby). When he was in a bad mood and you booped him while saying “I love you~”, Floyd froze. Sharp eyes watching your every move like the predator he is, a wide grin revealing his sharp teeth. 

“Awwww, I love ya too Boops! Now lemme squeeze ya!” 

Kalim Al-Asim

Where do I even start? He’s loving on you the moment he sees you. Hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, it's all normal to him. He cares about you so why wouldn’t he show you? Poor Jamil, he was really stressed at first, unsure what your intentions were. So to start, you had to prove yourself to Jamil, Kalim had accepted you the moment his eyes landed on you. The more you hung out, the clearer your affection for Kalim shined, and you two were basically a married couple at this point. It was easy to care for him, reciprocating his affection without hesitation. Idk there's not much to say about him, he’s just a loving and carefree guy. It was when you both were winding down, hanging out with just the other, doing some homework (one of the ways you proved yourself to Jamil). Your dreary eyes watched as Kalim swayed in place, his eyes soon meeting yours. His beaming smile had all your defenses down, words falling out without you realizing it. It wasn’t until Kalim jumped at you, squeezing you tightly, face nuzzling into your neck.

“I love you too! We should get married!”

(😅)

Jamil Viper

It’s admirable that you managed to break down Jamil’s walls. He was even more surprised at how your attention would always seem to land on him instead of his insufferable prince. No matter how much Kalim basically begged for your attention, your eyes would always drift to Jamil, a warm smile on your lips when your eyes met. He showed his affection for you in how he looked after you. He had grown up taking care of someone, and although he found himself hating Kalim for his position, for Jamil’s spot in the world, he found himself enjoying caring for you. He loved how your eyes lit up when he offered you lunch, he had made too much anyways (riggggghhhht…), he felt his heart flip when you offered to help clean up or when you offered to help braid his hair. It was still hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that you truly cared for him and had no ulterior motives. His heart beat erratically when you said those words, when you looked only at him so lovingly, how your hand caressed his cheek so tenderly. It was all so overwhelming and he pulled away, pulling his hood up to hide his blush. His tongue felt heavy and he wasn’t sure if he had the heart to let himself be so vulnerable.

“Let’s continue this later…but rest assured I feel a similar way.”

Vil Schoenheit

Ohhh boy. Vil, as much as I love him, might be a bit overbearing at first. If anything, you’d feel ashamed about yourself at first. You never seemed to be good enough as Vil would always find something to pick apart about you. You’d eat too many carbs, your uniform was wrinkly, your eyebags seemed to be more pronounced. When you snapped, crying and pleading for him to just stop, that you knew you weren’t beautiful or perfect like him and you didn’t want to hear it anymore, Vil had to rethink how he showed his care. He didn’t say those things because he thought you were ugly or terrible, he only wanted you to better yourself. To become more healthy and to take better care of yourself. Reflecting, he realized just how mean he seemed…enter the spoiling. Instead of nit picking you, he would give you stuff without a word. You found yourself with skin care products made by him (he didn’t want to taint your skin with bad ingredients), he would bring you a balanced lunch (perhaps breakfast and dinner too, if you’d be kind enough to join him), and he’d gift you outfits that complemented your figure perfectly (sometimes he’d have to get them costume made). It was a bit of a shock at the drastic change, but you found yourself doting on him more as well. You both were having dinner together, Vil complaining about his coworkers and you talking about whatever you were into at the moment. When he mentioned something he’d think you’d like you found yourself sweetly telling him you loved him. He was astounded, eyes locked on yours. As much as he tried to be composed, he couldn’t deny the fluttering of his heart or the heat on his cheeks. 

“I love you as well, my sweet potato.”

Rook Hunt

This man 💀. At first you were terrified. Man was literally stalking you. You even went to the professors for help because excuse me? Stalking bad. And as much as Rook took amusement in your actions, he decided to finally get to know you…face to face (he already knew a ton about you). You gave him bombastic side eye when he first was trying to talk to you. He’d pop out of bushes (strangely no leaves stuck in his hair), he’d appear right behind you…one time he seemed to appear from literally nowhere. Against your own will, you warmed up to the freak. When he wasn’t continuously complimenting you, you found him to be funny. Rook is also unashamed about his love for you, he’d shout it from the roof tops if you asked. He also took the fact that you were warm to him as a sign of affection. You didn’t nearly deck him for popping out of the bushes this time? Oh mon chéri, his heart melts that you felt his presence to be so comforting. It felt weird, Rook had complimented you many times, spouting about how much his heart yearns for you. You almost didn’t want to tell him that you loved him, a bit spiteful since you knew how smug he’d look afterwards (you’d never live it down either). Yet when Rook handed you a rose, spieling about how it could never compare to you, you found yourself crumbling. Instead of that smug look you expected, he looked genuinely happy. Green eyes bright and shining, smile so wide you thought it split. Yet that gleam soon looked like that of a predator who finally caught his prey. 

“Mon chéri, my heart weeps with joy, I cannot imagine a world without your brilliance shining. Avoir son cœur est la plus grande récompense.”

Epel Felmier

Epel is a tough nut even if he looks cute. He’d tease you mercilessly (Ace moment) on some days, while most he found himself complaining to you. Vil would work him tirelessly, and he can handle tough work! You’d sneak him candy or some jerky (that was more manly than candy). He found himself always trying to impress you, whether it be carrying something heavy or showing you his grades (he improved from last time okay). He loved how you complimented his strength or his intelligence, but deep down he was scared you saw him as a cute prim boy that Vil was trying to turn him into. If anyone tried anything with you he’s the one you’d go to, making his chest puff in confidence. Of course he’s trying to not fight so Vil won’t punish him, but a stern talking too wasn’t out of the picture. You both were relaxing under a tree. You mindlessly watched Epel as he carved an apple, handing you pieces when they were cut perfectly. Another one who can’t handle it when you say it. Eyes wide, shoulders hunched, face matching the apple he was holding. 

“Ya c-can’t jus’ s-say that! Y-you tryna k-kill me? ‘Tch, you’re lucky I like ya too.”

Idia Shroud

He’s such a simp. Some days he can barely squeak out a word to you, hiding himself in the comfort of his hoodie, others he’s flexing on you about just how much more he knows about a game than you. When he’s feeling extra generous (trying to get y’alls intimacy meter up to max) he’ll buy you the fancy currency in your favorite gacha game, go on, do as many ten pulls as it takes to get your favorite character up to max level. His favorite moments are when you both are watching an anime together, in the same bed…it makes his heart explode just thinking about it (dudes on the opposite side of the bed 💀). What makes him care for you even more is how you interact with Ortho. You two are his favorite people and seeing how well you both get along just further warms his heart. When you muttered those words to him, he literally screamed. Hoodie up, hiding under his blankets, his hair the brightest pink it’s ever been. He felt light headed and he was sure if he opened his eyes his vision would be spotty.

“G-gah! Your charm is maxed out! It’s n-not fair that you had the special dialogue to insta kill me.”

Ortho Shroud (platonic only obvs)

He is just a little ray of sunshine. He’s the reason why you got so close to Idia in the first place. He’s always on the hunt for any potential friends for him and his brother. You were always sweet to him, doting on him and calling him cute. Ortho honestly thought of you as another sibling (might as well be with how much you hype him up). Ortho would always try to accompany you if he had time, always ‘hinting’ at you to visit his brother (bro is not hinting, straight up just asking). He felt his cpu warm as he processed his happy feelings at watching you and his brother get along, as well as when you always brought Ortho over to join you both. It didn’t take long for you to tell Ortho you loved him, I mean he was just so adorable!

“I’m so happy! I love you too!”

Malleus Draconia

I hope you're ready to become a royal beside him. He shows he cares with grand gestures (which Lila helps make them smaller gestures). Malleus is used to people fearing him, and the fact that you didn’t? Man was gobsmacked. He shared his interests with you, and you shared yours with him. He would research anything you said that he didn’t understand (it was even better if you were the one teaching him). If you thought your affection was spilling over, Malleus’ was flooding. It turned into him giving you fine jewelry, clothing, flowers, food, you want it, it's yours. He cared for you greatly, and he was unsure how else to show his affection. You gave him a hug? He’d hug you now as a greeting. One time you booped his nose and he went cross eyed following your finger. You’d almost spilled your guts then (I’m surprised you didn’t cus that shit’s adorable). You always confused him with your cute forms of affection, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. It seemed impossible for you to keep in your love any longer on a bright, moonlit night. As you stared into the night sky, you spilled those three little words that unknowingly sealed your fate. Malleus felt his heart be set aflame, eyes taking you in. It was then that he finally thought of a perfect ring for you. 

“I love you as well, child of man. More than you could ever imagine.”

Lilia Vanrouge

As silly and carefree as he was, Lilia wasn’t ready to love again. He had his family, and that was all he cared for. So when he found himself messing with you more, missing when you weren’t around, wanting to cook for you (rip #3), he felt scared. Love never went well for him, it was almost like he was cursed, and those he cared for were ripped away from him. Yet you were so sweet, trying his food and trying to give him pointers on how he could improve. The cute scared face you made when he popped out of nowhere. Gosh you made it so easy to love, it was honestly unfair. He was supposed to be the cute one! You can’t go stealing his title! You also found it a struggle to love Lilia. You knew he was older than time itself (💀), and honestly you felt a bit weird for falling for him. I mean, you were so much younger, and he was a fae. It just seemed like a lot, so you kept your feelings to yourself. That was until one night, Lilia was tucking you in since you fell asleep on him, and you muttered those cursed words as you drifted off. He actually avoided you for a few weeks after that, and you felt embarrassed that you slipped. It wasn’t until he could no longer avoid you, missing you too much and having thought it through enough.

“I hope you understand the weight of your words, after all, us fae stay with our partner for life.”

Silver Vanrouge

He is so easy to get along with. He’s always looking out for you, offering you snacks when you're hungry and handing you water when you haven’t drank any yet. While he does find himself dozing off a lot, he appreciates when you try to poke him awake or go over the material he slept through. No one even questions your status, they just assume you're together with how lovey dovey you both act. He’s fallen asleep on your shoulder more times than he can count, his soft hair tickling your neck. He’d apologize when waking up, but you were too entranced by not only his beauty but the cute animals that now surrounded you both. Not to mention the way your heart would pitter patter as he would promise to defend you, his shining eyes showing complete seriousness. You had whispered your love for him when he was sleeping, gently playing with his hair. You thought he wouldn’t hear, but boy were you wrong. His soft eyes blinked open sleepily, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Am I dreaming? I hope I’m not, because I love you too.”

Sebek Zigvolt

Another tsundere ass. He gets overwhelmed by his feelings for you so often I’m surprised your eardrums aren’t permanently damaged from his constant yelling. It was confusing for him because the only other person he felt a somewhat similar feeling towards was Malleus Draconia, and you were nowhere near the level of the future king of Briar Valley. He’d take his strange feelings out on you, inadvertently pushing you away. Thank the sevens for Lilia (or not) because the bat fae would always have something to say about Sebek when he’d see you. “Have you heard of how brave Sebek was?” “Have you seen how cute he is when his face turns red?” Thankfully, Sebek got used to the pitter patter he felt when you smiled at him, no longer scolding you for…smiling? Another one that you learn tends to project. He’s degrading you for being human? Well he’s half human too, so he probably feels the same about himself more than you. Which causes you to try and compliment him more…which leads to him shouting, cycle repeats. I hope you brought ear plugs, cus the moment you spilled your guts, the soft atmosphere turned harsh. His face lit up red as his shoulders rose to his ears, be prepared for a flustered, shouting croc.

“C-cease your tempting words human! I-I only have eyes for Waka-sama! I have no time for foolish endeavors that will ruin my position! W-wait, don’t l-leave! I n-never said I didn’t f-feel the s-same!”

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #trey clover x reader #cater diamond x reader #deuce spade x reader #ace trappola x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #jack howl x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #x reader

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: You are blissfully unaware of how deep exactly Rook and Vil's affections run for you; of the extents they would go for you, and the boundaries they would cross in your name.

Pairing: Yan!Vil x Reader x Yan!Rook

Genre: Yandere

TW: Yandere Vil and Rook, talk of killing someone, Reader is not Yuu/Prefect.

AN: Rook and Vil ily but why are you both so hard to write for 😭 Like, yall are fun to think for but it was so hard to write down the concept in my mind ysgshskejd. I genuinely don't know if I was able to do them justice, please forgive me if they're a bit ooc in this. This started off as a joke thing because of a friend, but then it turned yandere for some reason that I don't know but we're vibing so it's okay ^^

You groaned as you flopped face first onto the couch in Vil's room, uncaring of the fact that you were still wearing your shoes. Vil glanced at you from the corner of his eyes as he sat at his vanity, narrowing his gaze at your unmoving form.

"(Name), remove your shoes."

" 'm too tired," you grumbled, and Rook chuckled from his place on Vil's bed. "My, my Chevalier de Beauté, how bold of you to reject Roi du Poison's order," he teased you, getting up from the bed to walk over to where you were.

" 'm tired," you whined once again, drawing out a chuckle from both of your boyfriends.

"Still, as Roi du Poison's devoted hunter, I cannot let you get away with such a grave crime," he hummed, his voice light and sweet to your ears. Kneeling on one leg, Rook carefully untied your shoelaces, gently placing your shoes on the floor by the couch. Each movement was smooth and reverent; one would think he was handling a priceless treasure with the way he made sure to not make a single noise as he rid you of your shoes.

He watched in amusement as your only reaction was to sigh and turn your head slightly to look at him. Ever watchful, he immediately zeroed in on the eyebags that you had tried to conceal under layers of makeup. Rook removed the glove from one of his hands, raising it to smooth back your hair into a somewhat presentable state.

"Pray tell, what has you so stressed?" He asked, and you could see Vil sit straighter (if that was even possible since his posture was always impeccable) at his words, no doubt listening to the two of you.

"Its nothing too bad, really. I'm just stuck with uncooperative assholes in Professor Crewel's class-"

"Language," Vill gently chided, but you could make out the concern in his voice. You continued speaking, eventually fully ranting to Rook and Vil about how absolutely bull-headed and uncooperative your group members were, and how you were practically the only one working on the project.

Both the boys stayed quiet as they heard you vent your frustrations out to them. Once you were done, Rook gave you a smile. His eyes held a dangerous light, sharp gaze befitting the hunter he prided himself in being.

"Would you like me to kill them for you?"

You felt a shiver run down your spine at his tone, the familiar smile on his face somehow turning malicious in front of your very eyes. Very slowly, like prey trying to not agitate the predator in their bid to escape, you silently sat up on the couch. Your eyes were trained on his, caution and hesitancy swirling in them (a very pretty mixture, if you asked Rook; what he wouldn't give to see that look of confusion and fear in your eyes more often-)

"No killing, Rook," Vil spoke from his seat in front of the mirror, turning completely to face the two of you. Immediately, Rook turned back into the playful boy you always knew, as he chuckled, "Ah, I jest, of course." He winked at you, and you wondered if your senses had played a trick on you as the heavy atmosphere that had been in the room mere moments ago dissipated instantly.

"Perhaps I could speak to these classmates of yours, hm?"

"O-oh, there's no need for that," you nervously chuckled. "I already informed Professor Crewel about it, and he said he'll give them a fitting punishment," you hurriedly explained. Your fingers fiddled with the cuffs of your blazer, a clear sign of your discomfort at the thought of Rook potentially talking to the people from your group. As irritating as they were, you didn't really want to get them on his (or for that matter, anyone's) bad side, especially with how... weird and quite frankly terrifying Rook had been earlier.

Your nervousness did not go unnoticed, as Vil chuckled, crossing his arms elegantly as he looked at the two of you. "Rook, you've scared them."

Vil stood up from his seat, making his way over to you. Carefully, he lifted your face to make you meet his eyes and smiled. "Rook was only joking, my dear. Don't worry." The gentle touch sent butterflies fluttering through your stomach, and the soft smile complementing his words made your earlier worries go away.

Rook looked at you, a mix of surprise and amusement in his eyes as he took your hand in his own. "Ah, dear Chevalier de Beauté, you need not worry at all," he said as he placed a light kiss on the back of your hand.

"You are precious to me, so I cannot help but wish to take care of anything that may displease you. But, my apologies if I went too far with my joke."

His voice was sincere as he spoke, and you couldn't help but smile at him despite his... slightly concerning words. Rook was a weirdo most of the time. Maybe it was just a well-intended joke that you just overthought about?

You chuckled, missing the way Vil's shoulders seemed to relax and how Rook's smile became a little less forced.

"It's alright Rook."

"You nearly gave us away, Rook."

Vil's voice was uncharacteristically cold as he stared down at the hunter kneeling in front of him. You had gone back to your own dorm room some time ago, saying that you needed to finish one of Professor Trein's assignments, giving the two boys some much needed privacy to have this conversation.

"My sincere apologies Roi du Poison. I did not mean to, but to see their beautiful face contorted in such anger, such frustration... it caught me off guard. I was careless in my wish to take away some of their burden, and I shall accept any punishment you deem acceptable, my fair queen," Rook said, his voice repentant as he stared at the hem of Vil's dorm clothes.

Vil sighed after a long and tense silence. How could he remain cross with his beloved hunter any longer, when he was this remorseful? Besides, Vil had been quick enough to salvage the situation in time, and you were still blissfully unaware of how deep exactly their affections ran for you; of the extents they would go for you, and the boundaries they would cross in your name.

"Get up," he ordered, and the hunter rose to his feet, finally daring to look his queen in the eyes. "Go, and find every little thing there is to find about those useless students. Every. Single. Thing. But do not, touch a hair on their heads. That will be your punishment."

Vil's voice was calm and collected, like a queen delivering a death sentence. Rook bowed reverently.

"As you wish, my dear queen."

#ice writes #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x you #twst vil #twst rook #twst vil x you #twst rook x you #twst vil x you x twst rook #vil x you x rook #yan!rook #yan!vil x you #yan!rook x you #yan!vil #yan!vil x you x yan!rook #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst

[aimasup]

Spoilers for The March 2024 Welcome Home Update, LONG post warning:

The Eddie Scene

Let's establish two realities: The Neighbourhood (theirs) and The Show (the humans').

(The third is ours, here, actually real, no black gunk and Welcome Home is just a really cool fictional horror project. Irrelevant, just wanted to bring us down to earth)

I like to believe it's an unaware Wreck-It-Ralph situation: The Neighbourhood exists as The Show because that's how they live and what they were created for.

They have a happy home in the commercials and episodes, interviews with humans and playfully leaning on the fourth wall (via Narrator). And when Playfellow Workshop had a really good influential show, they quite literally brought these puppets to life, perhaps too much.

That's where the trouble comes in; we don't know if the puppets being sentient was ever revealed to the public, or what the black rot even is yet. Personally I can't really even guess how much the other puppets know at the moment, not even Home. All we know is that Wally was the first to 'wake up', likely.

So I'm just gonna say what I think about the Eddie segment at the end of the commercial compilation from his perspective alone (bravo to the voice actors and artists my god).

The Neighbourhood...

The Show.

Here's what I assume: both in the Neighbourhood and The Show, Eddie is being given a break from working so hard. Because I believe the script/special was supposed to end here:

Eddie Dear was happy.

[calm jazz music as the title card fades in] And a Happy Homewarming to one and all! Ho Ho Ho!!

End.

Because it makes no sense why The Show staff would spend extra resources to give the puppet Not Quirky Anxiety and end their Christmas special on a worrying note for general audiences.

I think The Show staff wrapped up that scene and left to go check on the rest of the set or something, and the Eddie puppet was left there, alone in Wally's room set because its job is done. Except it isn't, and Eddie became aware somehow.

He sees Home, his friend, and something isn't right

I don't know what this is: my first thought was that it was Home's hand crank, and Eddie was seeing but not understanding the puppets behind the scenes

"Sources say, however, that this puppet’s (Home's) eyes could move through a hand crank on the other side of the prop facing away from the camera."

-(welcomehomerestorationproject.net)

His friend's eyes look dead but they're moving, I thought. But looking at it again, it looks more like a microphone stand a Show staff is holding? Some sort of set equipment. Speaking of the set

Wally's room is too big and leads to nowhere. Is this a visual representation for Eddie's mental state? Did they literally turn the lights off on set? Or can he not see everything right now because his poor fictional brain can't handle our reality just yet?

His hands are fuzzy but there's something in them. Something was under his skin just now. They don't feel like his hands.

"Eddie was a live-hand puppet who required two puppeteers to operate."

-(welcomehomerestorationproject.net)

I imagine he's in a limbo of awareness, he's seeing so many things and not quite understanding what they are, and he's getting more lost and panicked

Can you imagine how overstimulating it must be to go from a clean, happy children's fantasy reality to a world with the laws of physics?

The clock's ticking doesn't quiet down and it's constant. He's sweating when nothing is wrong (?). Gravy was poured on the tree ornament, he's always helped do that, but now it's dripping onto the floor and it's making a gross mess. Little things like that don't have consequences unless the script calls for it. Eddie doesn't know that, and especially he's freaked out by the breathing and the heartbeat.

Maybe it's Home's, or his own, or both, idk.

What's curious is that Frank and Sally are fine and talking about the day's events. This means that Eddie should've been fine after the episode too, relaxed like normal, but he didn't get to. He probably didn't even know when they got there or when Sally left.

This image right here? I think it symbolises the scary clash between both realities by now.

2 (Eddie and Wally) or 4 (counting Sally and Home) out of 9 neighbours being aware is too many. Frank wasn't supposed to have to comfort Eddie. The episode was supposed to end and Eddie can see all of it.

(and yeah maybe romance is an additional factor here)

We don't know if people remember seeing this scene on their televisions. Maybe the episode ended as normal for them. The cameras weren't rolling, so currently, we only get to witness the puppets' descent into decay because someone behind the television is Letting The Neighbourhood In, bit by bit.

Maybe we'll get to see all the other puppets go through the same awareness crisis as the website keeps updating. Personally, I don't think there's an ulterior motive for Home, nor do I think any of the puppets are under strict supervision to behave a certain way for filming episodes, like celebrities.

What freaks me out is that they banter with the narrator and do commercials for real products. They're aware of the fourth wall but only because the fourth wall let them be aware. And it even got me thinking about the nature of existing as a concept (they're fictional characters. they don't really exist? Not in the same way individual humans do anyway. They aren't really supposed to belong to themselves.)

Sorry this turned into ramble rubbish, these are just my thoughts, could be entirely wrong about everything. Welcome Home is just super neat and the amount of effort gone into it shows. Lemme know what yall think, kudos if you read this far

For your troubles 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍯🥛🍵☕🍶

Extra note: I don't think they require the puppeteers to function outside of episodes either. They just live their lives chilling, don't even know there's a Show. Maybe there's an explanation but for now I'm content with 'it's magic'.

That being said I've seen other theories about the peas and the isolation of Eddie specifically those are real neat

#my post #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home spoilers #eddie dear #derealization #personal stuff #welcome home theory

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

AITA for getting punched in the face?

So I (16, M) am betrothed to a girl (16, F) I don't really like but my mom and her mom made the arrangement before we were born and neither of our dads (or us) get much say in this because our moms are scary.

Anyway, I really don't like this girl. She's just average and the only reason we're supposed to marry is because our moms are sworn sisters and we're from powerful, noble families. Not to brag, but I'm exceptionally good-looking and highly skilled, and I don't think a girl so meek and ordinary would be fit for me at all.

I don't see the point of hiding my disdain for her. Anyone with a good pair of eyes can see how different I am from her and there is no point in me pretending I feel any different about her.

To preface, I don't think I'm the asshole and I want to prove I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Onto the story:

Some friends were talking about pretty girls and such, and since I don't necessarily care for those discussions, I kept silent. One of them then mentioned I am not saying anything because I am already in love with my forced fiancee and see no other girls as interesting.

I simply responded like I did above: that I find her unappealing and she's not at all my type. Which prompted her almost-brother (long story, but the guy isn't even adopted in the family, just hangs out around them and somehow ended up as head disciple) to punch me in the face. Hard.

I am not weak at all but the hit took me by surprise and led to me walking around with a swollen face for several days. The guy got punished but not without him and my fiancee's actual brother both calling me an asshole.

Could you all convince them I am NTA once and for all?

Edit 1: To update you all, I actually did marry my fiancee (not resulting from the arranged marriage, it was annuled and then we ended up falling in love on our own) and she's an amazing, kind and beautiful person with whom I am going to have a son in a few months.

I was an arrogant, annoying, entitled, incel-esque piece of shit two years ago but thankfully, I got better and am on the way of becoming a decent person and hopefully a good father!!

I love my wife very much and I regret I didn't treat her right from the start, but I now have the rest of my life to make it up to her although I know she has already forgiven me anyway.

Growth is a wonderful thing and I think everyone should embrace it. I used to really hate my life and resent my parents for the environment they have raised me in as an arranged marriage couple that was never really happy. I thought the same would happen to me and I projected all of that onto my wife for no reason - but now I am happily married and feel so loved and appreciated that I can't help but model after my wife's kindness and good character.

Edit 2: My son just came into the world a few days ago. He is happy and healthy and I am fighting with my wife about who gets to hold him more!! I can't wait for his one month celebration, I'll try to make up with my wife's brothers and make sure my son has all his uncles in his life! I'll update you all with pictures after the event!

Last updated: 15 years ago

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #jzx #i love writing posts like this and i also spend too much time on aita

[lemon-natalia]

Gideon the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 27

‘pure humbuggery’ sound the alarm bells, palamedes is using british-isms, in this book thats a sure sign someone’s gonna die

ooohh it literally only just occurred to me as Harrow was talking about ‘lyctoral power’ that its very likely all of the facility stuff, the key challenges themselves etc. were probaly all set up by previous Lyctors 🤦

i mean given the one clue they were given was about locked doors, Harrow’s whole ‘secret door’ theory actually makes a lot of sense

i won’t lie, i still don’t really understand all of the thanergy stuff, so the beginning of this chapter was a little hard to parse. i don't think its because of bad writing or anything, i'm just not really into magic systems or understanding how they work honestly

i mean the five deadlocks on the door make some sense, but given Jeannemary got killed in a sealed room unfortunately i doubt they’re gonna do the Sixth much good now

ok someone, possibly the same someone involved with the constructs is actively trying to stop them from accessing another door. the question is whether it’s another member of the Houses wanting to prevent competition, or something that only just occurred to me is that some outside/other force is trying to stop all of them. which given the fact that the big amalgamate monster things were made by someone apparently very necromantically powerful … are the lyctors somehow involved in all of the deaths? maybe they don’t want to give up their positions, we only have the emperor’s word for it that they do after all

listen i don't think this is actually the case, its against the singular rule and there's probably some kind of magic stopping it, but it would be funny if someone just like, picked the lock on any of these doors. just speed-run the entire thing without any necromancy

wow Palamedes isn’t wrong the both of them are getting wayyy too comfortable using the whole energy transfer thing 

i’m not so sure coronabeth is the one to really watch out for - she seems more confident/outgoing than ianthe, but ianthe is clearly comfortable keeping things from her 

aaaand things are really kicking off between Harrow and Gideon. there’s unresolved issues for days here, it was only really a matter of time before their tentative alliance started disintegrating honestly

there’s a Lot to unpack here about their fight… on one hand, Harrow is clearly a lot more jealous than she wants to admit and making a real dick move to keep Gideon away from Dulcinea, no matter how far they’ve come Harrow still seems to be in that mindset of being in control of/feeling superior to Gideon as she was back on the Ninth. 

but on the other hand, Gideon is very clearly projecting her own feelings of guilt about Jeannemary and everything else onto Harrow. plus Dulcinea has proven herself to be more clever and shady than she initally appears already, i don’t think Harrow’s wrong to still be wary of her. there’s just, y'know, an infinite number of ways she could have handled it better

‘Jeannemary the Fourth was ten times the cavalier I am’ i’m SOBBING

ohhhh and now they’re back at where they were at the start … Gideon saying she hates Harrow, Harrow saying she doesn’t think about Gideon. except now after everything they’ve been through, and how much they clearly do care, it hurts so much worse. Tamsyn Muir you’re driving me crazy

‘Gideon decided there and then her betrayal’ what an absolute banger of a line to end the chapter with

#lemon natalia reads the locked tomb #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #tlt #the locked tomb liveblog

[mamamittens]

Oh, Sweet Child of Mine (pt. 7)

Platonic Yandere Whitebeard & Reader-Insert

Main|First|Previous

Featuring: Thatch nearly not being yandere before sliding right into it. And Reader showing that they've got both layers and a fair bit of madness. I kept the implied backstory vague as shit, so feel free to project or assume things, I'm kind of curious what you guys will come up with, ngl.

Warnings: platonic yandere behavior and manipulation. If yandere content or anything of that vein makes you uncomfortable, please do block "oh sweet child of mine" as well as any relevant tags for "one piece yandere". Do not tolerate coercion or this manipulative behavior in real like.

Have fun and stay safe!

Word Count: 2,119

There was something to be said about how vast the ocean was. Sometimes, you’d just… look out at the waves and get lost in the ebb and flow of the tides. It was difficult and chaotic at times, sure, but never not beautiful. On the Grand Line, the weather was notably more erratic than anywhere else. You considered yourself lucky that there had only been a small storm while you’d been on board the Moby Dick so far. And due to the vast size of the vessel, even large storms were unlikely to dump you onto the floor.

It had been almost two months since you’d been taken by Marco. By now, the crew was relatively certain you wouldn’t try and make a run for it on your own so you were mostly allowed to run around at your leisure. Meal times were still strictly enforced, as was bed time funnily enough, but outside of that they seemed to want you to integrate at your own pace. You supposed that even your great reluctance was preferred to swinging an ax at Whitebeard’s head—what the actual fuck Ace?!

You sat on the railing, looking out at the ocean.

You felt… not quite homesick but something close. You missed doing drills with the other ensigns. Running gopher for your commanding officer. You even missed Williams, for all that he was an ass. He was somehow the most tolerable one of the many partners you’d had. You spun the fabric around your wrist, thinking about how hard you worked to better your skills as a marine.

It wasn’t all about fighting after all. Procedure and bureaucratic red tape was a massive part of the job. Unless you had a very high rank, you couldn’t just go wherever you wanted and do whatever. You had to transfer home bases, file paperwork, ensure arrangements for payment were made, and a whole host of other things. And though everyone expected to move around a fair bit, there was a sense of comradery in the marines. You all had to suffer the same dorky uniform and insufferable training.

Everyone was working towards the same thing. More or less. And there was an expectation that you would be doing your best to help others.

But here you were. On a pirate ship seemingly fighting as a one-man-army to not be officially recruited as one of them. To stay a marine. Even if you didn’t feel like one very much these days…

“You look like you’re having a lot of deep thoughts there.” You jerked, head swiveling around to find Twin-Blade clambering up the railing to sit next to you. He left a decent amount of space, thankfully. He settled down and looked at you, grimacing a little with a soft laugh. “Look… I know we got off on the wrong foot—hey! Hear me out now! I just… I just wanted to officially apologize for the tea. Most of the time, new recruits are so wound up they don’t sleep the first night and it’s a rough start for everyone. Considering what I’d heard, I thought you’d need a good nights sleep more than most. I should have asked you though. So… I’m sorry.”

You stared at Twin-Blade for a long moment.

“…Bit more than just a night of sleep.” You commented dryly, causing Twin-Blade to wince.

“Y-Yeah… the tea really shouldn’t have worked that much though. You probably did need the extra hours but that doesn’t make it right.” Twin-Blade apologized again. You gave a soft smile before looking back out at the sea.

“Thanks, Twin-Blade.” You sighed, resolving to not tease him so much from now on.

“Is it me?” You paused, looking back at him as he spoke, his eyes serious. “Have you not joined because of me?”

“No. It’s not because of you. Or at least not all because of you.” You explained stretching until your back popped satisfyingly. “I’m still a marine you know. You can’t be a marine and a pirate. Kinda conflicting job titles there.” You gave him a side glance.

“Why do you still want to be a marine? We’re not exactly like other pirate crews out there. We’re a bit rough around the edges, sure, but we don’t do the whole ‘pillaging’ thing. And we have a lot of power and status. What are you losing by joining?” He asked like he couldn’t imagine a world where his crew wasn’t the best option.

Part of this you excused as all of them being just a little bit batshit crazy. And weird. That too.

“I didn’t ask to be here. I didn’t ask to be rescued or recruited. What other reason do I need?” You pushed back and he pouted.

“But we’d love to have you here with us. We have such a big family that anything you wanted to learn or do would be feasible. You’d never be alone. C’mon, isn’t there anything tempting with us?” He pleaded, unable to wrap his head around your persistent but quiet refusal.

You supposed that for most people, the reasons to not join would be few. Most pirates don’t have a lot of options. Unless you’re clever or strong or lucky it’s a tough way to make a living. Ruthless and cruel at times without even the thin veneer of bureaucracy to hide behind.

A fat raindrop fell onto your nose, breaking you from your thoughts.

You sighed wistfully.

“…I think you forget what it’s like to be small. If you ever knew to begin with.” You watched the sky darken to a soft gray as rain began to fall, your eyes fixed on the dwindling blue horizon. “Nothing to hold onto but a choice—shit as it is—to do something. To one day not be so small after all. All I’ve got are my choices, Twin-Blade. There’s nothing left to go back to. And I know I’m not the only one. Maybe as a marine I could keep someone else from having to make a shit choice too. That’s not something anyone on this ship can give me, though. Might not even be something I can give myself. But what else can I do but try?” You lifted up your legs and turned around, hopping off the railing.

Leaving Twin-Blade behind.

--*--

Thatch thought about your words for several minutes as the rain poured, showing no signs of stopping or getting worse.

He… actually did know what it was like to be small. He didn’t like to think about it often—if at all. But he remembered. It made him desperate. Cling to every bright spot in his life like it would leave him if he looked away. The idea that you felt small even now made his chest ache.

He wanted you here because Marco wanted you here and because Oyaji accepted your presence. That was all he needed really. Hell, Oyaji’s word was all he needed for Ace, and Ace was a feral little bastard man trying to commit murder daily.

Joining Oyaji’s side made him grow in a lot of ways from that small boy he used to be.

Thatch grinned, resolutely setting his shoulders as he hopped off the railing and headed back inside.

You didn’t feel like you had any real choices in your life. Any connections or anchors aside from your ‘shit choice’. So Thatch would just have to show you how free life is on board the Moby Dick.

Thatch slammed open Marco’s office door.

“We need to throw a party!” Marco gave him a dry look as he picked his pen back up to finish paperwork. “We need to show them how to live a little!”

Marco perked up the moment you were mentioned, naturally.

“Did someone say ‘party’?” Ace ducked his head under Thatch’s arm with a wide grin.

“Yes!”

“No, yoi.” Marco grumbled, cutting out the fun Thatch and Ace were starting to have. “You’ve got a mission the day after tomorrow and you can’t go with a hangover.”

Thatch frowned.

“I have a mission?” This was the first he’d heard of it.

“A small supply run for medical. Oyaji’s meds are almost out. The island we stopped at didn’t have any. I’d go but someone needs to bully him into taking what’s left.” Thatch grimaced but didn’t protest any further. “We can throw a party when you get back.”

Thatch grinned, brightening up instantly.

“Yes!”

--*--

You made goofy kissy noises at Stefan as you played with his ears. The dog amicably withstanding your teasing as he laid over your lap on the main deck. Whitebeard watched on with an amused stare as you ignored his existence. The Yonko pirate would, occasionally, try and talk to you or draw you into a conversation, but you’d been dodging him fairly well so far.

“…My child—”

“Sea king starboard!” Your head whipped up as you gently shoved Stefan off your lap. Instantly, looking towards the area that had been called out.

Whitebeard glared at the sea, his weapon at the ready.

“Go below deck—” Your eyes widened as the sea king raised it’s head over the railing. It resembled an eel in form with large black eyes. Baby blue scales with vivid pink frills running down it’s spine.

“Baby! Look at you~!” You cried out, darting to the railing to hold out your hand. “What are you doing all the way out here~?” You cooed, rubbing your hand on the shocked creature’s chin. The scales were hard as a rock but undeniably warm and softer than an adult’s scales.

You heard several very startled calls of your name but ignored them.

The sea king opened it’s mouth just barely, a low buzzing sound emitting from it as it lowered it’s head to look at you. You were smiling so wide it almost hurt, admiring it’s beautiful scales.

“D-Do you know them?!”

You laughed loudly.

“Ahah~! Not at all, but who wouldn’t want to know a precious baby like you~?” you rubbed your nail under the ridge of it’s jaw, the buzzing sound intensifying as you laughed, absolutely delighted. “You’re so pretty, baby! Look at this cute baby blue! And the pink ruffles! Ah! You look fancy~!” you praised it gleefully.

The buzzing warbled in shared delight.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest thing~? But where is your pod, baby? It’s not safe to swim alone like this!” You cried out, standing on the railing to cradle the massive sea king’s chin. The sound it made vibrated your bones, a deep rumbling call.

“Not safe for who?!”

“Holy shit is that more?!”

You leaned your head back to see several more sea kings just barely poking their head out of the water. You waved excitedly with one arm.

“Hiiii~! Are you cuties going to come up too?”

“Please don’t!”

“Oyaji, stop them!”

You pouted, glaring over your shoulder.

“You’re being rude!” The pirate gaped at you.

“I-I’m being rude?! Those are sea kings!”

“Duh? And I want to pet them and give them love, damnit! Stop! Being! Rude!” You enunciated firmly, ignoring Whitebeard as he laughed. You turned to the shy sea kings, “Ignore them! I’d love to see you~!”

The sea king in your arms buzzed again, withdrawing to sink into the water until it was eye level with you. Pretty black eyes blinking slowly as the pink frills fluttered, lights like an aurora going down it’s spine. You gasped in delight as it opened it’s maw wide. Rows and rows of needle like teeth on full display. It was big enough to probably eat Whitebeard whole, but the only thing you could think of was how impressive the baby sea king was.

“Mmmaaooo~! Mmmmmaaaaooo~!” You stared in awe as it closed it’s mouth and brushed it’s nose against your front, buzzing long and low one last time for good measure before sinking beneath the waves for good.

“Mao? What a cute name, ahah~!” You laughed, spinning on your heel with a skip in your step. “Mao’s so cute~! I can’t wait to see him again!”

Whitebeard fell back into his seat with a laugh.

“Gurarararara! I’m glad you had fun, my child! We don’t run into sea king’s often, but I’m sure you’ll see plenty more soon enough.”

“Ack! O-Oyaji! No!”

You huffed.

“Don’t get it twisted, Whitebeard! I’m still not joining just because that’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to a sea king!”

Whitebeard just laughed again as his children despaired the prospect of encountering more sea kings willingly.

You didn’t get the drama. Sea kings were just darling, in your eyes. More darling than any of the pirates on this ship at least!

#one piece yandere #yandere whitebeard crew #whitebeard crew #yandere thatch #reader insert #oh sweet child of mine #platonic yandere #reader sees all animals as babies #and somehow they all like that #thankfully for reader or they'd be eaten by now #zero impulse control around animals

[cricketnationrise]

hello! :) THIS IS SO CUTE I CAN'T WAIT FOR A POSSIBLE CRICKET EXCLUSIVE!! because i am obsessed with u fr but that's common knowledge. <3

for the ficlet fest, if you'd like:

time stamp: 2:23am

location: brownstone

character: alex/henry

song: this is me trying by taylor swift (only if you want!!!!!!!)

rating: whatever you'd like

but like you can go any direction with this I'm just always projecting my adhd/anxiety/not good enough feelings onto alex on a regular basis :')

my ao3: firenati0n | Archive of Our Own (same as tumblr user)

THANK YOU SO MUCH! SENDING LOVE XOXO

your cricket exclusive is here! i actually went full on henry pov with this one bc my brain got stuck on the trying of it all. so have some first post-canon fight make up. this is actually the longest ficlet yet, but somehow i don't think that'll be a problem 😂 💜🦗

read the rest of the ficlets here!

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

2:32am, brownstone

The brownstone is quiet when he returns, which is completely reasonable for just after two-thirty in the bloody morning. 

It’s also immaculate, which is decidedly less so, especially considering the state of the place when Henry stomped out a few hours ago. 

The hallway is clear of trip hazards, shoes neatly in the rack. The kitchen gleams in the range hood light; counters clear and wiped down, small appliances lined up as precisely as Buckingham guards. Peeking his head in the for-once dark office reveals two tidy desks, chairs pushed in, and both of their laptops plugged in and charging. 

The den at the base of the stairs makes Henry pause. The stacks of books have been put away. The coasters on the coffee table have been relieved of their burdens of half-drunk tea cups and abandoned coffee mugs. In the dim light from the street lamps through the window, Henry can even see vacuum lines in the carpet. A second glance has Henry taking cautious steps inside.

There is one thing out of place after all. 

On the couch, propped on a few of the numerous throw pillows Pez insisted upon, and tucked into the quilt Ellen sent them, is Alex. Like an anchor to the ocean floor, Henry is drawn into the room, and to Alex’s side. 

He kneels between the coffee table and the couch near Alex’s head and just looks for a long moment. Alex clearly hasn’t been sleeping well. The couch is too short, even for Alex’s shorter frame, so his legs are tucked uncomfortably. His curls are more of a wild mess than normal, like he’s been tugging at them. Alex is gripping the quilt as tightly as he normally clutches Henry, and there’s deep furrows on his forehead. 

Henry should let him sleep, probably—neither of them have been sleeping all that well. Increased paparazzi presence as Alex’s first semester of law school starts and Henry takes a more active role in the shelter has been stressful. But Henry can’t help but reach out and try to smooth those lines on his forehead. Something churning and tense settles inside him when his gentle touch has Alex’s eyes blinking open, a small smile on his face when he recognizes Henry.. 

“You came back.”

“Of course I did, love.”

Alex exhales messily, blinking back tears now. “I wasn’t sure— After earlier—”

Henry shushes him with a hand on his cheek. “I will always come back to you. Promised I was done being an obtuse fuckin’ asshole, didn’t I?”

“You still left, though,” Alex says.

It’s Henry’s turn to fight back tears. “I could hear myself sounding more and more like Philip at his worst. It scared me. I didn’t want to subject you to that, to even inadvertently use my knowledge of you as a weapon. So I left before words I didn’t actually mean could find their mark.” He sways forward, resting his forehead on Alex’s, needing to be closer. “You deserve more than sharply aimed words, especially when you haven’t done a thing wrong.” 

“Hen…”

“I’m sorry Alex. I shouldn’t have— I knew it would be different once the paparazzi got wind of our plans, but I wasn’t prepared for how much more invasive they would feel. I’m having a hard time adjusting to life beyond Kensington’s thick walls and I started to take it out on you.”

Alex’s hand pulls on his shoulder. “C’mere.”

Henry climbs onto the couch and sprawls undignified on top of Alex, tucking his head into the crook of his neck. Alex’s hands, as ever, hold him steady, rubbing large circles across his back.

“There were two people in our fight, Henry. You aren’t the only one struggling. Or taking it out on the person he loves.” He presses a kiss to Henry’s temple. “I could hear echoes of my parents, but couldn’t figure out how to stop the word vomit. And that scared me—I never want you and I to be like them.”

Henry pulls his head back to meet his gaze fiercely. “Never.”

Alex smiles at his vehement tone, but it's got a rueful edge to it. “We’re gonna have to figure out how to talk about this stuff before it blows up in our faces again.” 

“Not tonight, though?”

“Nah, not tonight.” 

They’re quiet for a long moment, curled around each other on the couch, when a niggling thought finds its way past Henry’s lips. 

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Why were you on the couch? Did you— Did you not want to be in our room?”

Alex holds him tighter. “I— You left and— So I was cleaning, and I did this room last, and when I was done there was no way stairs were happening, so I just collapsed here. I didn’t  actually think I'd fall asleep, I don't usually when you aren’t right next to me.”

“So it wasn’t because you wanted space from me?”

“Fucking hell, baby. No, I never want space. I want the opposite of space from you. If I could figure out a way to crawl into your rib cage every night I would.”

“Oh.” The last bit of tension leaves Henry’s body at that and he relaxes fully on top of Alex. 

“Yeah, oh.” Alex chuckles. “But, as nice as you feel on top of me, it’s late and this couch ain’t big enough for the two of us.” 

“You fit on it better than I do,” Henry can’t help but tease.

“First of all, rude. Second of all, I also have to pee so get up before I shove you off.” 

Reluctantly, Henry stands and reaches down to help Alex up after him. Henry folds the quilt and hangs it over the back of the couch, smoothing the last wrinkles with his hand. When he straightens up, Alex is only halfway up the stairwell. 

“Meet you in bed?” Alex whispers.

Henry climbs up to meet him. “Always, love.”

#cricket writes #firenati0n #ficlet fest 500 #rwrb #pov henry #the brownstone #they'll have a longer talk later and come out stronger #but early mornings are for lovingly flopping on top of your boyfriend

[armory-rasa]

Bazubands part 1: A LESSON IN HUMILITY 🤣

So one of my projects for the winter break was to make a set of bazubands made for myself -- a middle eastern armor piece that provides all-in-one wrist/forearm/elbow protection, and the easiest way to get the coverage required for SCA fighting. (My garb is viking, but such are the exigencies of modern safety standards, that fighters usually wind up with a mix of armor types.)

Anyway, I packed up the necessary tools and materials and took them with me when I went to visit my parents, which is why the backdrop for these pictures isn't my usual workshop.

Found a pattern on google, cut it out of 10-12 oz veg tan, traced/carved/tooled it:

(You can see why this is the easiest way to get elbow protection, it's WAY less fiddly than trying to do articulated plates around the joint.)

Soaked the elbow cop again (because it was starting to dry out by the time I was done tooling), rounded it out and stitched it up:

Dyed it black, in my parents' backyard:

(And if you use Angelus dyes, that's how you keep from spilling it -- the box has little perforations so that it can hold the bottle safely upright.)

WAX THAT MOTHERFUCKER:

It doesn't show in that picture, but I have a metal bowl of wax (jeweler's casting wax) melting on the stovetop. I alternate between brushing it onto the leather, which looks like the picture above, and then putting the leather in the oven at ~200F, at 10-20 minute intervals, until the wax soaks in. Repeat until the leather is fully saturated and does not absorb more wax. (This often takes hours, so find something else to multitask with.)

But when you're done -- ta da!

Your project will be thoroughly waterproof, very strong and hard, with a low lustre. It's functionally ABS plastic at this point.

The next step was padding, so I got some sheepskin and and fitted it to the inside:

(idk why it's so fucking orange, but the alternative was kind of a mint-mucus green. I think the orange is growing on me though.)

Time to pattern the other, simpler piece of the bazuband, because they're hinged to enclose your full arm:

(I couldn't do this earlier, and therefore do both pieces concurrently, because I had no idea how much bulk the padding was going to add to my arm. I suppose you could wrap your arm in padding when you're measuring at the start.)

Slapped a quick design on it:

(And carved & tooled it too, though I neglected to get pictures of that.)

And then--

DISASTER, MY FRIENDS.

I put it in the oven, and it lost its gd mind.

WHAT.

Seriously, just -- words do not do this abomination justice. o_O

LOOK AT IT.

Coming so close on the heels of the Khorasan pouch, which had turned out absolutely perfect and has been more widely shared and lauded than anything else I've posted, this was a humbling experience. 🤣 Like, yes you're good, Gabriel, but you're not immune to fucking up.

So what happened here? Why did the same leather as the bazubands, undergoing the exact same steps and processes, turn out like THIS?

I'd have to repeat the experiment to 100% confirm my theory, but I'm pretty sure the critical difference is that I was speed-running this one, and I didn't wait for the dye to fully dry before I started waxing it. It wound up with, essentially, wet leather hermetically encased in wax, and since the water didn't have anywhere to go, it did weird things to the structure of the leather fibers when it started heating up. And because I don't often work with wax, I had somehow never run into this situation before, and thus already learned that lesson.

Ah well.

It wasn't a huge amount of leather, and it was only like two hours of work, so I'm not that fussed about it. (More embarrassed than anything else, at what feels like a very rookie mistake -- and conscious that it could have been SO MUCH WORSE if that had happened to the larger bazuband pieces, which had a lot more time and materials sunk into them.)

Anyway, I'm going to tweak the pattern a bit, make it narrower at the wrist and a bit longer, and change the design to something that matches the dragon better -- and let it fully dry this time. 😂

#leatherworking #wip pics #bazubands #liveblogging projects #cautionary tale

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

#dusted magazine #listeningpost #kim gordon #the collective #jennifer kelly #jonathan shaw #bill meyer #andrew forell #bryon hayes #tim clarke #christian carey #ian mathers #justin cober-lake

[sparkchemy]

I'm rewatching Alan Wake 1, because it's been 10 years since I've last seen it and I wanted to refresh my memory and wow baby Alan is such a jerk. xD An asshole if you will. His heart is in the right place, but he's also not a nice person, and it's honestly kinda refreshing to see in a character? He feels real.

Anyway, some gay CaseyWake thoughts under the cut and spoilers for both games.

I am obsessed with this interview

And it made me think, did Alan deliberately write fictional Casey's death into the books because he was 'tired of him' as he said, or did he foresee the real Casey dying at some point and it's sent him into a spiral of booze and denial? The book is called "The Sudden Stop" and this was the last book Alan had written before he got his writer's block that lasted for 2 years before he took Alice on their vacation. Was it a writer's block or grief and emptiness after witnessing Casey's death? The sudden bouts or anger? The drinking? What do you do when the gloomy guy in your head is suddenly silent?

"With Casey, it was all about his pain. No, nothing autobiographical about that." I'm squinting very hard at Alan.

If your wive is your muse, then why didn't you write about say, a strong heroine like Alice, or maybe someone like Saga? Instead of projecting onto this gloomy unlovable washed up detective for 7 years?

Am I grasping at gay shadows here?

But Casey didn't die. (Not yet at least). I was expecting him to die all through the second game, but he survived somehow?

He's admitted to reading the Casey novels and how eerily similar they were to his life. So why didn't he die? Did Alan really make his death up out of frustration, to exorcise Casey out of his head? Or did the last book warn Casey of whatever was about to happen and he's managed to avoid being fatally shot? Did whatever Alan foresee not happen yet? Or did the events of the second game change Casey's fate, because the last thing Alan had written was that Saga and Casey HAD to survive. No compromises?

I'm chasing my own tail with these thoughts but I had to get them out there. *shrug*

Have a little bonus pic of Sam Lake 'the actor' because I couldn't leave it out. Look at his queer lil scarf and long hair. Adorable.

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alan wake 2 spoilers #alan wake spoilers #caseywake #wakesey #texttag

[emblazons]

a post in defense of (a very much alive) S5 Jonathan Byers

under the cut b/c this is more frustrated commentary than strict analysis, and you shouldn't have to read if you don't want to.

I feel like it must have come from the dry spell between seasons, but I have to say it: all of this “Jonathan is gonna die and that means Stancy could happen” stuff lately is not only giving "I just like angst for its own sake," it's lowkey nonsense if you look at it thematically (in context of the Jon/Nancy/Steve madness yes, but especially in context of the Byers family).

—like? Friends.

Given the Duffer’s track record of refusing to fully kill off major characters even when it could have made sense to (cc: Hopper and Max), I don’t think anyone is actually meeting their end, but let’s be SO serious about who is actually likely to get axed: the boy with a mom, brother, step-sister and girlfriend who have been central to every single moment in this show…or the one they've put into a triangle we all thought was over until S4, who they’ve honestly written into a corner, & whose primary drive in four entire seasons was getting a girlfriend and protecting a bunch of teenagers?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just talk Jonathan.

The Duffers (Matt especially) have openly gotten upset at even the notion of Mike dying because "that's depressing" AND "that's Nancy's brother" (showing the familial ties are a HUGE part of what would keep them from ending someone), in addition to them saying they've thought through every imaginable scenario" on who might die—

—and you think its Jonathan whose meeting his end? King of championing "not liking what you don't have to" and the outcasts in all areas from music taste to being queer...after all the Byers have been through and knowing The Duffers write toward championing the outcasts and those who embrace their differences?

That, combined with the fact that the only "evidence" I've ever seen for him potentially dying has been that speech he gave to Will in the SBP somehow being connected to (you guessed it) setting up angst for Will...I'm gonna take a hard and wild educated guess based on the entirety of the rest of the show and say that was literally written so Will could catch a goddamn break, not as a death tag.

The fact that Noah confirmed it wasn't in the Duffer's OG script, was written day of filming + was done because "it was important for people to see will wasn't alone" is evidence enough for that.

Even so, the fact that there are still at least 4 unresolved plots Jonathan is part and privy to makes his death even less likely, because it wouldn't make sense for resolving anything for him to die at all, never mind in the episodes before our supposed timeskip.

Jonathan's messy relationship with Nancy, the fact that he's the only one who actually knows Will is gay, and the fact that he's the only other character who saw & understood the ULTIMATE Chekhov's gun in the form of that painting (on top of also having a longstanding relationship with Mike )should make it clear he isn't going anywhere from a narrative perspective...and I'm not even sure where the idea that he would die popped up, other than fandom warping the canon and projecting onto the plot.

The Duffers have always been clear about not doing things solely for the sake of surprise + not liking things that don't make narrative sense...and Jonathan's death would be both of those things, done solely for shock value.

I just. Be so serious right now. if you want to imagine the weight of Jonathan dying SOLELY for fandom angst DO THAT...but don't pretend like his death in the show wouldn't be the most poorly foreshadowed thing in this entire show, on top of not matching a single theme of the ongoing Stranger Things narrative. ☠️

Put some respect on his name lmao

Bonus: If you really want to talk about character's dying (and not just jump into angst for its own sake): they haven’t given Steve a proper love interest EVER outside of Nancy, made Dustin cry over Eddie instead of staying close to Steve S4, and haven’t ONCE referenced that boy’s family properly more than a few times in passing (and only by Steve himself).

He is the only character who craves normalcy despite this show being about championing the outcast, was supposed to die seasons ago but stayed because Joe Keery was so beloved, and has now been written into a corner where every single person who is central to him (esp Dustin and Robin) either have a new love interest or are worried about something else more than him, which...if you want canonical evidence for a possible death, you're looking in the wrong corner of this love triangle.

#HERE U GO ANON LMAO #my st commentary #jonathan byers #stranger things #he will be alive and well in S5! #single? maybe. but DEFINITELY alive lmao

[goreshitrushi2]

You’ve probably answered this a dozen times but what about Kizashige got you into it and what made you stay into it?

I. well, I basically got into corpse party for kizami and morishige in the first place, back in late 2019. serial killer AND gore obsessed freak, I knew from the very beginning they would be my favorites. but when I read kizami's wiki page specifically his relationship section over morishige and how he suicidebaited him, it legitimately sounded so hilarious to me I had to witness it so I watched last waltz before even finishing my playthrough of blood covered.

and I think it ruined my life. last waltz is definitely one of the biggest contributing factors to what I got out of kizashige through literally the entire thing. like the set up of kizami watching morishige perform, kizami's antagonism mixed with genuine intrigue ("those of like mind have a certain bond in here", "MY PREY HAS BEEN CAUGHT"), the fact that morishige isn't even receptive to kizami's intimidation in the beginning (talking back at kizami even when he's restraining and twisting his arm!??!?!?!)

no, that part was actually crazy to me in how oblivious morishige was to how much of a threat kizami was. it really made a large part of my interpretation of their dynamic be that morishige wouldn't give a single fuck about kizami's power (i.e, social status) which kizami would be really surprised by (annoyed that all his effort in his presentation has no effect on this one person? relieved that finally there's someone who doesn't care for any of that bullshit and can see him for who he really is?).

and that's where I get into the domestic shit because when I started thinking of them outside of heavenly host, that really made me obsessed with kizashige. I think it's fun and cute, but when they only interact like twice in very specific circumstances, you think it would be really hard, right. good thing they parallel each other in like every way possible.

the death thing is obvious, they both feel dehumanized by their families, and scenes like when morishige talks about how people only care about popularity contests instead of actual talent vs where kizami rants about how people only care about trivial things and humans can be so much better than that. maybe it's just because I'm a jaded college student, but that shit is seriously relatable to me lol. AND I WANT THEM TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER.

they are bitter, cynical, and lonely people, and it's that persuasive loneliness to the both of them that gets me. that's why they both die in heavenly host-- morishige never allows himself to open up and connect with the people he meets to get out of heavenly host, always berating who he pairs up with in his head or outright refusing their help and trying to find mayu on his own, only to succumb to his obsession. kizami completely letting his own beliefs of himself being incapable to connect with others dictate his actions as some sort of "fuck you" to everyone else, until he meets yuka and thinks he can finally gain that sense of humanity, but does it in the wrong way entirely.

it's relatable, especially in how much of it is something they both enable in themselves. there's no shame in admitting that I'm really attached to them because of my own history with mental illness. I project onto them a lot, it's kind of eerily easy to do so. to me, they are somehow just really evocative of a specific experience growing up mentally ill where it's all you've ever been, and either taking it to the extreme or making some sort of peace with that.

just individually, I have never liked two characters so much before, they are both so genuinely uniquely written and layered characters to me. I find them both very comforting and interesting and have so much fun working with them together or alone.

I love kizashige.

#I feel like I've said certain points in this before but this was a fairly extensive answer. and even then I can't put everything #I think about them into words #I am delusional and they are soulmates CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH

[eemcintyre]

I am getting real tired of the modern, technology-driven notion that everyone has to be constantly available to everyone in their life.

Like, if it's an emergency I will be there for you 100%, but I have now had multiple friendships/relation-ish-ships end (all with men btw- coincidence...?) because I didn't text them back right away, every day, multiple times a day.

Am I the only one who thinks that this is, at best, ridiculously needy, and at worst, ridiculously entitled behavior?? This level of clinginess and insecurity (that somehow is my responsibility to reassure???) is a huge turn-off.

Not only do I think it's important and healthy for everyone to be comfortable spending some amount of time alone with their own thoughts, but I *especially* have always needed a lot of solitude and independence (idk maybe it comes from how controlled I was as a child and how few friends I had, but that's a whole other tangent right there). I require room to do my own thing, and while I love my friends and they are important to me, I'm not totally dependent on them and every ounce of my happiness and self-worth doesn't hinge on them. Honestly, the more someone tries to cling to me and rein me in, the more I feel compelled to distance myself. I need to know that I am free.

Anyway, this seems to intimidate a lot of people who are immature and not secure in themselves and are still suffering from unresolved past trauma that they are projecting onto me. They find it intimidating that even though I can want someone in my life and like or love them, I don't need them in it to survive because I am ultimately comfortable with myself and know my value enough now to not compromise who I am just to keep them in my life. They find it scary and foreign that I don't need constant reassurance and don't have the energy or will to provide it; that I can be content doing my own thing. Aka me having my own separate life in addition to our relationship and enjoying alone time = I don't care about them at all.

I need someone with the maturity, emotional intelligence, and self-esteem to realize that not everything is about them- I have more than one person in my life, I have a job, I have hobbies, etc., and even just because I am not busy at a point in time doesn't mean that time is *free* time. That is recharge and contemplation time.

I have even, against my better judgment, tried compromising my own boundaries to accommodate these people's insecurities and needs, and it didn't work. It's never enough. Also why does it always have to be me who compromises and makes the changes, and not them? Why don't they have to try and work on themselves to become less dependent on others and more secure? Why is it me who always has to drain all of my energy with forced, ingenuine conversation and interaction and trying to heal the past issues of other grown adults that they are projecting onto me?

I'm sick of my boundaries being disrespected. You are valid if it mentally drains you to be in constant contact with other people, and you are no less of a kind, caring person and good friend or partner for being that way. Like, it has nothing to do with you; I just recharge from spending time alone where I can think and exist without being observed or obligated to entertain others; being able to do exactly what I feel like, analyze my thoughts, or enjoy the quiet. Honestly, most people who require more contact (to a reasonable and non-codependent degree) are valid too; I just think both groups need to either compromise equally in relationships or seek out people who are more like-minded rather than existing in constant strife trying to change and/or make each other understood.

I know that I am a good, kind, friendly, and generous lady who brings a lot to the table, and I am sick of trying to convince people of it. If they want to leave because they can't handle physical and mental personal space, then no hard feelings at the end of the day but they are absolutely welcome to. I'm tired of letting people guilt and disparage and try to change me when I'm not doing anything wrong.

#to clarify that last line #obviously I can do wrong but I am only speaking on the post topic #alone time #solitude #independence #independent woman #introvert #introversion #infj #infp #entitlement issues #boundaries #setting boundaries

[cryingincrocs]

So I decided to listen to the two songs from the movie Bolt and I've decided they're both Rancher coded. The songs in question are I Thought I Lost You and Barking at the Moon. The first one could also be argued for Clock Duo because I love making everything them coded BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST anyways for the first song:

So this starts from Jimmy's perspective. Anyone who knows me and my Rancher writing (which how could you I've yet to post any) knows I love making Jimmy this pathetic man (I love my pathetic men <3) who - because of all the toy comments in Empires S2 - is constantly teased and lowkey bullied but not full on completely but he's kinda sensitve about it. Anyways that's what brings up the first two lines. Beyond that, this would be set after Double Life and poor Jimmy just can't stop thinking about his rancher! He's not completely sure on his feelings because typically relationships that form - whether it be positive or negative - stay within the traffic smp series and never follow the characters back home. But he's home and he's still got Tango on the brain. ALSO if you listen to the song, on the line "anything to get you from my head" there's this guitar riff and that's symbolizes Tango because when it comes to music, Jimmy is country and Tango is rock. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense?

And so we continue! So with the soulmate bond gone, it's hard for JImmy to go day to day as if he doesn't miss that strong bond the two of them had. The line "Like somehow you could be the break" refers to how a part of JImmy hoped Tango would help him break his curse. The "promises" were most likely Tango one, vowing to help him stay alive and two, after they died, promising to somehow find him again before the next traffic smp season so they could be happy together in peace.

This is the chorus! It's very much as seen; all Jimmy has of Tango are the memories they made on the ranch, and he thought that Tango wouldn't be able to find him again but he still held onto that hope. But as the lyrics say "and now I got you, but I thought I lost you" surprise! Tango IS there now! I'd say this would be the Empires crossover, like when they met in the tunnel aka the moment that has never left my mind ever and I always think of. Also in the chorus is when John Travolta joins Miley Cirus in singing, so that further adds to the reuinion!

So this is Tango's verse, and like with the chorus, it's pretty "as seen" with my interpretation. Tango is determined to find a way back to Jimmy despite not knowing how at all, maybe he'd see the open rift as an oppurtunity to. And he's referring to that second promise but also the first one as he's still anticipating when the next traffic season will happen aka lim life.

Then we jump back into the chorus, which stays the same.

This is both of them, with Tango being the first two lines, Jimmy the second two, and both of them as the last two. This is them after the big reunion hug that shook the world. Tango's eagerly explaining how he never gave up, Jimmy's assuring him he never lost hope.

And then the rest of the song is essentially them being all gay and excited because they're together again yippee!!

That concludes my explantion of the first song so naturally, because this post isn't NEARLY long enough, we're doing the second one too!

Also with this second song, I'm kind of ignoring the allusions of cats and dogs just fyi

This is so so Tango. He's a hard worker, married to the grind. The sun? Who's that? The guy who gives all his attention to his Decked Out 2 project (much like in S7 with the first one and the among us minigame) doesn't take much time to appreciate the simplistics of life. But having the ranch with Jimmy kind of forced him to sit back and take in the world around him and kind of slow down. It's like he's truly been reborn into a new life when he's with Jimmy and that doesn't mean his life before him was bad, but his rancher makes him feel more, understand more.

Very much on point; the only place Jimmy and Tango truly feel at home is when they're with each other and on the ranch. They dream of running away together and living out the rest of their lives on a big ranch with enough plants and animals to keep themselves self-sustained. And with Tango's redstone prowess, they totally could.

THIS IS JUST JIMMY THIS IS SO JIMMY YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE because this verse refers to his canary curse, how each season built up this hopelessness and depression. "I have been a lot of things, they may not all be true" is him saying that he's not defined by the canary imagery, by the canary curse that follows him. He's also not defined by the toy titles the other Empires members would throw at him. "My experience was so mysterious, till I met you" once again referring to the canary curse and Double Life with Tango. Being with him, not just as soulmates but with him as a romantic partner, suddenly everything in his life made sense. Tango was that missing puzzle piece that somehow ended up under the couch even though the puzzle was opened on the dining room table. And now that he's found him, his life is whole.

Anyways the rest of the song is just repeating the chorus, which just doubles (haha) down on the points I made earlier with the chorus. But at the end of the song, when Jenny Lewis sings "there is no home like the one you got, cause that home belongs to you" one final time, the song is like, slowing down. That's Tango and Jimmy finally settling down together on their dream ranch, feeling content with the life they're going to spend together.

And that concludes the longest tumblr post I've ever made to date. Am I mentally well? Should I look into being diagnosed with literally anything? Are there probably songs that fit them so much better? These sure are questions!

What mainly inspired this was sincerely-nines asking for songs that made people think of Ranchers, and then I saw a tiktok reminding me of one of the Bolt songs, and the pieces connected and here we are! If you read the whole thing, I award you a farm animal sticker of your choice.

#ranchers #rancher duo #team ranchers #ranchers my beloved