#so worried im not doing this right LMAO

[can-you-hear-me-axhilles]

HIHI!! I've never done one of these before so i'm gonna try this- anyone who sees this + mutuals that i tag can do this!! /nf

really bored so yeah :P

@randompersonunderyourbed @your-penthouse-in-the-sky @proudfreakmetarusonniku @lxrd-ren @star-the-honeybun @ecosystim @adhirasam @cripplecrisis @rockbottomwithashovel @silksong-when @acatdisguisedasahuman

#still new to tumblr so i dont have a lot of @s #picrew #so worried im not doing this right LMAO

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 755: Departure 2

Pag 1

2: Ding ding

3: The boarding the flight number 621 to Fukuoka, departing at 10:30 will close soon

4: If you're boarding, please speak to the staff member closest to you

Pag 2

2: Ah, that guy is angry

Shh

3: Oi

4: He said “I'm coming”, right?

Yessir!! I called him thirty times but he only picked up once....

He just said “soon”....

5: Then why aren't you here, Manamii!!

Pag 3

1: There's the Inter High soon, the Inter High!! Buah!!

So-sorry, I even sent many messages, but his current location-

It's been more than thirty minutes since you've said that, how's that soon!?

Pag 4

1: “Arriving late is a crime”!!

“Causing troubles is a serious crime”!!

Yessir

We told him that, too!!

3: Alright, I put Manami's ticket there, let's go

Huh!? Next to the window!?

That's a little-

Enough

4: Let's go, Yuuto, Tobirama

This time we'll fight as five people in the Inter High

'lright

Yes

No, but, he's the captain!?

Can't be

5: Ah... this must be my ticket

Pag 5

1: Kyushu

3: Take me there, too!!

4: Waaaa, Manami-saan!!

I'm so glad you came!!

Thank you so much!!

Well...

You really are like an here who arrives in the moment of need!!

Pag 6

1: Oi, don't misunderstand!! We were the ones in a pinch and this guy was the culprit!!

Yessir!

Sorry!

Ah, you exposed me...

2: Don't think you can dodge the matter of your tardiness just with your mood and cute face!!

Ah I thought I could make it

3: So?

Why... why were you late?

4: Ahh, I forgot my passport, then I remembered and turned back to get it

5: Ohhh... that's a problem indeed...

Wait!! You don't need a passport to go to Kyushu, right!?

Pag 7

1: Woah!! That was a clever excuse, Manami-san (It was so cool!)

It wasn't clever, and now let's go!!

Did you doze off?

2: Mh...? Well, on the train... it was only one stop?

So he really slept too much...?!

3: Jou-kun and Yuzukoshi-kun went on ahead?

4: They went there with yesterday's flight

Huh!

5: So, when you said “passport”, earlier- what was it, really?

6: Did you really turned back to go get something?

7: Mhh, how should I put it

8: In order to fulfill the final promise....

Pag 8

1: “The final promise”?

It was

3: a necessary piece

4: You're still wearing that ridiculous hat, Manami?

Ah... it's the one Ashikiba-san wanted last year... (Yuuto)

This is for exclusive use during the Inter High

Ohh... “exclusive use”, cool (Tobirama)

Pag 9

2: Kyoto... Kyoto...

7: Small fries!!

Pag 10

1: Then, should we go?

Are you...

Pag 11

1: finally ready?!

2: Yes....!!

3: Mi!!

6: This year's victory will be ours

Our long-awaited victory

Pag 12

1: It's checkmate!!

2: They're coming!!

3: They're coming!! One by one, to this land of Kyushu!!

4: Won't it favour us!? It's our hometown – us, Kumamoto Daichi!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 755 #another short chapter i really hope sensei is okay!! #I dont mind the short chap at all (especially bc lately ive had little time to translate) but im kinda worried :') #This chapter was so asdhsdfksdg Manamiiiii you absolute disaster #who would have thought that the responsible one in this team would end up being doubash huh #now that's the surprising thing lmao #manami really went back to get the best boy cap i cant with him #btw i dont remember; does he know that the one who gave him the cap is onoda's mum?? how does he know #'i went back bc i had forgotten my passport' 'you dont need a passport to go to kyushu!?!?!?' ashdkasdfs well at lest he tried lmao #also 'Yuzukoshi-kun'??? is he the other hakogaku member?? :eyes emoji: #cant wait to see what other weirdo hakogaku will have this year #i think this year's hakogaku is the weirdest one - which is a lot tbh #i feel like its going to be my fave hakogaku team #btw doubashi wanting to leave manami behind and just run as five assdgfkdfgs hes right and tbh he should just do just that whenever manami #doesnt show up - 'well i guess we're a five people team from now on' #btw i love i we saw everyone! only kiji's team is missing #(maybe theyll shop up next chapter who knows wanatabe loves kiji enough that it wouldnt surprise me) #midosuji shows up for exactly one panel and hes already creepy af i love him #cant wait to get to know the new guy!! #and hiroshima!!!! cant wait to see them try so hard and then get defeated in the most pathetic ways like every year #i love them i cant wait to see what kind of weirdo higashimura has become #he was kinda normal last year but we cant have a normal person as the hiroshima captain lrb #and then theres kumadai #acting all important and then we all know theyll do absolutely nothing ajsgfksadf

[astranauticus]

Link Click single "Prometheus" Fan Translation

translation under cut!

让黑夜吞噬最后一点光

Let night swallow the last bit of light

就当是一场梦

Pretend this is all a dream

如果无法挣脱索性就让一切都失控吧

If I can't escape, then let everything go out of control

尝尝我的痛

If you have a taste of my pain

或许才会明白��到失声根本没有用吧

Maybe you'll understand that there is no point to crying

倒数着三二一零

Count down, three two one zero

卖弄可笑的六欲七情

You're still playing up your laughable emotions and desires

这世界已经天翻地覆

This world has already been turned upside down

不如和我一起跳到深渊感受这失重吧 Why don't you jump into the abyss to feel this weightlessness with me

叫他们的幻想蒸发

Let their dreams evaporate

像是面无表情撕碎玩具那般从容

As simple as coldly tearing apart a stuffed toy

谁叫他们学不会听话

It's their fault they keep falling into my hands again and again

还是一次又一次地落入我的手中

Because they can't learn to stay in line

早听腻了烦人的叽叽喳喳

I've long grown tired of this annoying chattering

用绝望在墙上染个碎花

Use despair to paint a splatter on the wall

请他们永远永远闭上嘴吧

Invite them to never, never speak again

[(LTX:) piano solo]

隐秘的血色的黑夜童话

The hidden, blood-soaked midnight fairytale

刹那间将所有光芒抹杀

Smothers all light in an instant

偷走那神的火把

Steal the torch of the gods

坠落下万丈悬崖

Fall down the bottomless abyss

没有归处的人等待世界崩塌

The ones with no home await the world's collapse

（最后的 狂欢吧

(The final carnival

最后的 狂欢吧）

The final carnival)

偷走那神的火把

Steal the torch of the gods

坠落下万丈悬崖

Fall down the bottomless abyss

没有归处的人啊

The ones with no home

静静沉睡吧

Sleep peacefully now

暂时藏起了利爪和鳞片

I'll conceal my claws and scales for now

魔鬼躲进她黑白的琴键

The demon hides in her black and white keys

收起你那套因果循环

Keep your talk of causality and repetition to yourself

我会遭报应吗？反正还没应验

Will I receive retribution? We don't know that yet

都是我的消耗品

(LX:) They're all expendables to me

被我牵着鼻子走还抓不着要领

I'm dragging you along by the nose and you still can't figure it out

一个 两个 三个 四个

(LX:) one, two, three, four

心跳加速只是我的白噪音

The sound of a racing heart is just white noise to me

撬开一层层的保险

Prying away the layers of safeguards

像茶余饭后的消遣

Just to pass the time after a fine meal

对黑夜缺了点敬畏

You people who get hurt needlessly

白白受伤的人

Because you lack respect for the night

看着我千万别眨眼

When you look at me, never blink

下一秒骇人的画面

Lest you miss the scenes of carnage

命运她由我来加减

I am the one who will alter fate herself

我是那灭灯的神

I am the god that extinguishes the light

隐秘的血色的黑夜童话

The hidden, blood-soaked midnight fairytale

刹那间将所有光芒抹杀

Smothers all light in an instant

偷走那神的火把

Steal the torch of the gods

坠落下万丈悬崖

Fall down the bottomless abyss

没有归处的人等待世界崩塌

The ones with no home await the world's collapse

没有归处的人啊

The ones with no home

静静沉睡吧

Sleep peacefully now

(bonus: my translation of 321!)

#link click #shi guang dai li ren #shiguang dailiren #时光代理人 #li tianchen #li tianxi #liu xiao #translations i made #ive been listening to this song like almost nonstop since it released on spotify i might have a problem #idk how clear it is that the piano solos are supposed to be ltx's parts of the song but yeah in like the title card sequence #like they have a card for lx and ltc as vocals and then another card for ltx: piano #idk i havent rly seen people talk about it. and how fucked up and evil/pos that is #ESPECIALLY CUZ. RIGHT BEFORE THE PIANO SOLO YOU CAN HEAR TIANCHEN GOING shhhh #like hes telling people to be quiet so they'll listen to his sister ;-; #also. felt the need to include those two line indicators for lx because idk i have a hard time telling apart their voices and #those two lines being by lx has some. WORRYING implications #although me using his initials is always gonna be kinda funny to me bc im doing lighting design for a school production which means #when i see the letters lx my first thought is lighting team LMAO #Youtube #Spotify #ALSO. ANOTHER FUNNY FUN FACT. FROM THE BTS WITH FAN KA. APPARENTLY LTC'S 321 COUNTDOWN WAS WRITTEN LIKE #WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF THE CONTENT OF 321 LIKE THE OTHER SONG #so like that whole thing was apparently a total coincidence. which #WILD

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[sweetsuke]

narukana bffs. you agree 🫶

#listen listen. theyre friends #i think they shouldve bonded more during the moonlight disco story #i think arashi should've painted kanata's nails blue with waterproof nailpolish #i think they would have fun “swimming” together too (kanata floating while arashi splashes around) #arashi would make kanata wear sunscreen lmao #omg now im imagining kanata cooking arashi dinner as thanks for doing his nails/hanging out with him/etc #it'd probably just be sushi or smth similar since he only likes cooking cold food + loves fish #but i feel like arashi would l o v e sushi so there's no problem there (if there's any story that says she doesnt please lmk) #anyways i also think arashi would love just like. venting/gossiping to kanata too because he's really chill and a good listener #like she can just vent without worrying that he's gonna try to give her advice she doesn't want #she's like “i had the *worst* experience with someone at my modeling shoot today” and goes on a long rant #all kanata says at the end of it is “puka-puka-ing makes all bad ”emotions“ float away~” #and arashi's like “omg you're right a bath *does* sound good right now” #they have matching friendship bracelets also. i think that would be cute #okay headcanon dump over for now #ensemble stars #enstars #kanata shinkai #arashi narukami #narukana #idk what their ship name is 🤔 #arashi x kanata #kanata x arashi #<- figured i'd go ahead and tag these even though i dont ship them romantically

[good-beanswrites]

Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂 #oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything -- #i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person... #i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...? #AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃 #*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit* #drabbles

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right????? #this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh. #when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!! #idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy. #epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

[seariii]

*getting out of bed stumbling* let's send the last couple gifts... (< Can barely open her eyes)

Also... I always forget how pretty it feels to gift things to others... Some have big reactions, some have smaller ones, but... Most of the time you get to see them happy, a small smile, a warm feeling.... That's beautiful... So beautiful

And Im still not used to the receiving gifts jajajaja and it's... So pretty... It's such a warm and gentle feeling but so so strong... "This was made for me, thinking about me" "this was chosen for me".... I'm... Heh...

Giving and receiving gifts is always so beautiful.... This is why I love Christmas, Valentine's, birthdays.... I'd love to actually bake everyone brownies... To give them little cards...

Also valentine's is so pretty because it's all about love! And at least where I live is literally called The Love and Friendship Day!!!! So I've always seen valentine's as a good day to show appreciation for friends ... *Happy sigh* I love Love

Jijiji as I was writing the notes, my brother knocked on my door and gave me a small cinnamoroll notepad and it's so cute... Such a cute day

Alr, now let's send those gifts

#OMG AS I WAS WRITING THIS I GOT A CALL FOR THE RANDOM EVENT THAT I NAMED ON MY SOFTWARE UPDATE #DUDE I JUST WOKE UP LMAO SO that was good because i was chill and didnt expect kt and im too sleepy to process stuff #but like was also really good because yesterday i wrote down everything i needed for this call #lets go #okay okay im done YAYYAYYAY #... the day i fall in love im gonna need someone to hold me back JAJAJAJAJAJA as to not spend everything in gifts #honestly... today does make me think about romantic love... and i do hope to experience the beauty of it some day #i dont feel like i need to rush it and im honestly a little scared because i dont see myself with someone on the future #(< wants to get married and have a family) #but... i dont feel like i should worry about it yet.... i dont know how all that works but im sure the right person will some day appear #seari talks

[portablenetworkgraphic]

sorry for live bloging the mental breakdown guys. any fun tips for mebefore i lay in bed for several hours not sleeping?

#im joking sorry #christ i was doing so goood..... guys i promise im like pretty ok almost all the time #trudst me i overanalyze a lot #and my parents are pretty good most of the time too #i promise thats not just meplacing blame on myself lmao like for real im pretty much fine all of the time #i havent had a bad incident like this in super long like maybe a full year now #which is really good #so seriously dont worry too bad. its just. really bad right now. #the end of the quarter is coming up and i cant do my homework #im struggling so bad #and evenr then i get like straight as so like its fine overall im just struggling with executive dysfunction really really really bad #i hope this will convince my mom i need adhd meds but i dont think it will

[vcrnons]

technically yes i did leave my old job but you wouldn’t believe it with the way i am still somehow at their beck and call

#shut up j #work chronicles #‘oh they want you to certify for this trial’ ‘ok well im already busy covering their clinic this morning so i cant do that’ #‘mmmm yeah but they really really want you to certify’ #WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO #i cannot be in two places at once and i most certainly cannot do two ******** activities at the same time #do they want me to see their patients or do they want me to take test images and more importantly WHEN WILL I STOP BEING THEIR BITCH i left #for a reason 😭😭😭😭😭 #gonna commit violent crimes before the end of the day don’t worry about it #(violent crimes : sit in this room and sulk but ultimately say nothing because they do in fact have me under their thumb until I leave the #trust entirely. i fear.) ( who gives af about me and what I want though right) (lmao)

[brightokyolights]

Why is being a living exisiting human being so very confusing 🙃

#my brain is genuinely the worst place on planet earth ahaha!! #anyways the story that is bringing this on is actually nice i suppose but im exhausted so. let me just get into it and perhaps the dilemna #will make itself more aparant. #basically i hate interacting with people. its exhausting. like genuinely just takes so much brain power and social battery from me. even for #simple things. anyways so im telling someone this in my usual jokey way “im being tortured and kept outside of my home where i could be #chilling with a book“ so the other person is like oh you cant stay inside forever and ever. but then goes on to say from interacting with me #theyd never have guessed that i have such a hard time with talking and hanging out with people. that i never make someone feel like im tired #them or dont wanna talk to them etc. and internally im screaming because like. that is something i stress out so much about because i strugg #le so much with my responses and tone etc etc. thats why its so exhausting for me because im just constantly focussed on what im Supposed to #be like. the other part of me was kind of pleased in a way because i feel so painfully awkward that it stresses me out that people can see #right through me and think that i hate them when its not that i just. hate human interaction because its so tiring. so hearing that was like #oh so no one can even tell and i am stressing. for nothing. dw though this info will not help my brain learn to stop stressing out though #lmao. anyways final point i suppose is that the person also says that even if i am 'awkward' i sort of use it to my advantage and it doesnt #come across in an unsavoury way. anyways idk what to do with all this info. because the way i feel on the inside is so. and i worry a lot #about people seeing that on the outside. but part of me sort of wants it too because i just feel like absolutely no one fucking knows me? #and while i guess that was maybe my goal i also hate it? i shall rb a quote after this. anyways. idk what im saying. i dont fucking know. im #just so tired. so fucking tired. #le text post

[sucktacular]

Hey y'all weed posting on main, hope u don't mind. So anyway, babies first weed plant is working away!!!

#weed #drugs #shes a bit scraggly but also her seed was from a dried up weed branch i found in the back shed #that had been there for god knows how long (at least a year) lol #so im surprised she even got this far WOOWOOO LETS GO GIRL YOURE BEAUTIFUL #also those bulbs with the orange bits are okay and fine right? #my research suggests theyre just female parts but i was like oh god what if shes turning hermaphroditic #i think... i think shes okay tho. honestly i hope she finishes up soon cuz its getting cold out at night... worried for her #sucktacular sucks #ive no fucking clue what strain she is but judging by online research + old roomies weed preferences shes probably a sativa! #which idk how thats gonna go for me cuz im an indica bitch #my anxiety is insane dude im too scared of sativa lol #anyway everyone please give her a kiss goodnight!!!! 💕💕💕 #also i hope this isnt the most pathetic weed ever grown LMAO shes doing so good all things considered

[ayyponine]

Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.

#me #sometimes you have a few beers and yr feeling yrself. sometimes you feel too much like yourself and consider leaving early #for all the talk of yearning and intricate rituals let me tell you. a drunk girl sidled in right in front of me and the sense of rage i- #her and esp the guys she was with got kinda rowdy in the pit later on shoving each other also into the crowd whom did NOT want part of that #its a lot of people in a small room and at this point i was already further back and against a wall let me tell you #i think if someone had touched me i might have snapped fr #still had an ok time though once i got over feeling super embarrassed about my self and dared looking other people in the eye lol ah #one thing i do like abt the culture is the genderneutrality of it all... the most long and luscious locks in the room belong to some guy #and i can show up in sport bra and oversized shirt no typa bag no makeup wearin black laceup boots that could be m or f #my gender is uh. dont worry abt it lets just turn off the lights and vibe #got talking w someone tho who said she recognised me frm a diff event & i didnt much like that idea.. im not in the mood to be Perceived at #the venue IS p cool tho... like oo at a forgotten space on the other side of the tracks. by the water. by the skate park. yea #edit HOW could i forget. the rowdiest of drunk guys got either shamed into stepping out or str8 removed fr a lil while im not sure lol #and another guy wantedto crowdsurf but only 2 of his friends came to the stage to get him so he just kinda. crawled on top of them #and they awkwardly took a few steps carrying him round the vacated front. none of the crowd wanted shit to do w them lmao

[piplupod]

idk what is wrong with meeee, i have spent the past week ish just feeling consistently on edge and nauseous+dizzy from anxiety/fear as if i've been triggered but idk what would be causing that so idk how to fix it ;-; if i am very slow getting to ppls messages it's because of this fdskfl i am doing my best to get to things within a couple days but things keep dropping off the wayside so i apologize if i go radio silent on u for a bit augh

#idk whats going on but its so bad fsdjkl #suicide tw #just get that out of the way right away lmao but i am getting Worried tbh fsdjkl things just feel Really Bad #and really unbearable and i dont even understand what is causing this for me. like. its not any of the usual things i can think of. so wtf. #i just feel trapped and sick to my stomach constantly #the one brief moment of reprieve was an hour of the old lady knitting group yesterday fsdfjkl #things felt okay for a little bit and then i left and immediately felt like i had to go take a dive off the nearest bridge fdsjkl #i dont understand fsfdsjkl like... things are not going that badly... i am doing okay all things considered ?? #im actually getting things clean and tidy again in my living space finally for the first time in two years #like... yeah the living situation is bad but it Always is. so why am i suddenly not able to cope !!!!! #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so. #the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed???????? #i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare? #still more sick than i’ve been in……..years? #im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!! #and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like— #starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

[vraska-theunseen]

just remembered i'm going to be 20 this year can everyone give a moment of silence. teenager was so endless and it's going to be over before i know it this is my life and it's just flying by and i feel like im only ever just incidentally moving through life and like i'm never doing all i could be doing never feeling like i'm living my life the way i'd be living in it if i really cared but i don't want to try to change that bc rotting in bed is so appealing lol

#except when i hang out with or talk to friends that's the only time i feel like im alive #and it's not like an i feel like im not doing enough when im working my ass off legitimately doing nothing lol #but id rather just rot in bed and have no work ethic and not make time to shower like a. just an awful aimless person LMAO #<- he worked so slow today like he always does and messed shit up and has to go in early to try and catch up and he's so mad about it #working with a partner stresses me out bc i want to do things and then i worry im cutting them out of it and also doing it badly and im #gonna ruin it for both of us and they could've done it better and they're going to hate me and i've never done anything right whateverrrrr #i want to live in a room where i can do my little crafts and learn things at my own pace and hang out with friends and go to events all the #time. and i feel like im a bad person for that because everyone has to participate in society in SOME aspect part time or volunteering or #whatever. the make text post button is like therapy for me i like to imagine this is what i'd say if i had a therapist lol #alex talks