#so the people with the '''bad symptoms''' get shunned | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cherryblossomriot · 1 year

Text

I think alot about serizawa.

that he's so powerful and so sensitive, and how he's the very common Shonen anime trope of "villain with tragic backstory who just needed friends and is won over to the hero's side after the hero listens to them and shows them kindness" but like, his tragic backstory is so grounded in places others just aren't? like, he just didn't want to hurt anybody, so he hid himself away. that's so simple, yet so poignant and painful, so...normal. its such a common emotion, such a common solution. its not a healthy one or a "good" one, but its all he had...and then at some point, his self-imposed isolation became so hurtful to him that it caused him to become vulnerable to exploitation. to manipulation, and he became a weapon in a never ending cycle of violence, until someone was kind enough to listen to him, to want to help him.

and then i think about the fact that that person was just a child who had experienced the exact same struggle but was provided tools by people who loved him to help manage his problems....and it honestly makes me so emotional. because, like, it's a perfect allegory for how living with mental illness affects people.

serizawa is older than mob, so the society he grew up in didn't know how to handle his powers (mental illness/neurodivergency), but now, as times have changed and society has become increasingly more aware, it opens the pathway for people to find strength together, to have people in their lives that understand that they need kindess, they need love, that their mental illness isnt something bad or wrong.

but even more than that, they know that their differences do not make them bad people, they are not something to be shunned and hidden away, but just something to be worked through. just a unique aspect of how that person is, and it's neither good nor bad, just how they are.

and then i think about how serizawa didn't have anyone like that in his life until he was 30, and how those years of isolation and then manipulation (which caused him to do the very thing he was afraid of), how all of that could have broken him could have made him unloving, could have made him bitter. but instead, he overcame his fears, his guilt, his shame, and under all of that, he's just kind.

when i get really afraid, of myself, of the world, when i want to myself hide away and never leave my bed, my room, i think of him, and i feel so comforted, so much less alone.

what a wonderful man, written so gently, so lovingly. it's so rare to see a grown man with a stigmatized symptom of mental illness depicted in such a kind way, it makes me want to hug ONE through a phone screen.

anyway, uh. yeah katsuya. i think he's pretty neat.

#and the fact that the person to show mob kindess is reigen #and serizawa in so many fics is the one to pull reigen out of isolation #like WAGHH the PARALLELS #the full circle of it all #chomping on glass #crying screaming throwing up #mob psycho 100 #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #serirei #my personal headcanon is that serizawa has ocd but thats just because i too have the oh cee dee #also the fact that ive never seen a hikokomori depicted so well in an anime like...ever?#or at all?#honestly huge props to ONE for this one #haha see what i did there #okay ill shut up now

1K notes · View notes

desert-bluffs-and-me · 4 months

Text

Frown Night also confirmed that ableism was super worked into Strex ideology but in that sickening 'positive' way that acts like it's trying to help you. Physically disabled people should just be fixed so they aren't disabled, this is definitely to help them and not just to get them to be more useful to capitalism! Therapy is bad because people are charging to make you happy which should be free, that's why there's no services for the mentally ill/ND!

Like Kevin on boy wait till you understand how Autism coded your new kid is or the absolute Symptoms you are presenting of clearly undiagnosed conditions, that could be helped by the therapy you shun also you literally admit that Strex left you permanently physically disabled they got you internalising their ableism so hard.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv kevin of desert bluffs #like he's still ableist in and of himself but that stuff is not coming from the person he should have been and could be again??

50 notes · View notes

mr-payjay · 19 days

Note

You want to talk about doomed payjay sooo badly. I went on a huge rant about it yesterday and im curious to see what you think about it (also thank you for causing the payjay nickel incident that killed me)

YOU BET I DO!!! also im glad my superchat affected so many payjay fans, i find the result of it quite amusing

my favourite kind of doomed payjay is when their mental illnesses intersect... it's also fun to exaggerate them. ive found a lot of people like delusionally jealous oj? whenever i bring it up people get excited. to clarify, it's. pretty much just yanderizing oj LOL! here's some of the issues that can occur with delusional jealousy (disclaimer: i don't believe oj would ever do these. this is just a way i like to explore his character and push his jealousy and possessiveness to extremes for fun! at the very most, oj would fantasize about this, but he'd try to push the thoughts of it away because he'd think it makes him a bad person.)

ive been wanting to draw some of this for funsiessss. make that man go crazy bonkers insane like im monika ddlc turning up The Yandere Dial on yuri

another thing that's fun to explore is paper's need for attention!! my friend is better at explaining and detecting paper's hpd than i am, but i still notice some symptoms and scenarios myself: paper making a big deal about getting possibly eliminated while sitting on the bench, paper dramatically telling oj to go on without him then getting upset when he Does That, paper socializing quite a bit and generally being pretty extroverted, etc. and that can be. fun to think about! mind you i think more about oj's npd and bpd but i, of course, love paper a lot too. my friend suggested this, but paper feeding into oj's obsession (paper is oj's fp to be clear, umm i can give proof if someone wants?) to get attention & fucking things up just so he has to fix it and help him and Observe him is fun to consider. there's also the fact paper is bullied and shunned pretty often both in ii1 (remember apple) and in the hotel (they canonically just. destroy things. and paper has to fix them), and he's often not given attention other than to be useful... which kinda explains paper's eagerness to help in canon! id say it started off with paper trying to help people a lot in ii1, then they got used to it and started to assume he'd help all the time in the hotel, which he just went with because it's The Only Time they give him attention. also is why he canonically likes to cook :) he loves the reception it gets!

i like divorced payjay, but i don't think it would happen realistically. they're together for life. it definitely gets hard sometimes (they're both Suffering in general) but they're never ever Ever going to give up on each other. and that's beautifullll ahh my little Worms

um. i just realized i rambled more about their respective mental illnesses than doomed payjay LOL welllll it causes problems in their relationship ok

if you want you can send me an ask rambling about doomed payjay... id love to see what you were ranting about yesterday!

#juice.txt #ii paper #inanimate insanity #payjay #ii oj #oj ii #paper ii #thank you nutakuro!!!#ough i need to talk more about npd oj sometime im really into it rn #also oj's dilemma with the hotel ruining his life and his devastating fear of admitting failure and his need to be useful

9 notes · View notes

wuxiaphoenix · 1 month

Text

On Writing: PTSD Bits

I’ve dumped a couple book samples lately; for various reasons, but one stuck out for something completely unrelated to unlikeable characters or implausible societies. And that was the author showing a character had PTSD by giving them a full-sensory override-present-reality flashback.

I would like to mutter dire imprecations under my breath, along with a litany of “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works!”

I would like to. Unfortunately, full-sensory flashbacks are a Thing in PTSD. They’re just a very rare Thing. Dramatic, yes, and a perfect match for Hollywood’s visual media to plaster up on screens.

But. You’re writing a book. That gives you access to the character’s internal thoughts and reactions. And there are so many other more subtle, more common, more character-illustrating symptoms of the aftermath of terror and trauma. Let me lay out three: hypervigilance, disassociation, and night terrors.

Hypervigilance is, unfortunately, more often praised as an action hero ability than portrayed as the worrisome symptom it is. A hypervigilant character is constantly looking, listening, and straining to pick up sensory alarms that most people couldn’t notice if you pasted the sign ALARM on top of them. When something goes boom, they’re already down under cover. How could this be a bad thing?

Two main reasons. First, they’re going to be diving for cover at any boom. Thunder. Fireworks. A car backfiring. Someone dropping a load of bricks. None of which are conducive to living a normal life. And people around you generally don’t like a person who “freaks out at nothing”. Consequences can range from shunning to job loss to active sabotage. Especially that last, if a bully figures out people won’t believe you’re being sabotaged because “you’re just paranoid.”

The second is subtler. In short, the human body is not meant to run at Defcon 1 indefinitely. Hypervigilance in the nervous system tells the immune system, “Making antibodies is low priority because we might get attacked by a lion; we have to be ready to fight instead.” Long-term hypervigilance means you will get sick. Often. Again and again. And it’ll take a long time to recover. If it goes on long enough your immune system goes haywire and may stick that way. Hypervigilance is not the sign of a great warrior. It’s the sign of a character who cannot feel safe.

Hypervigilance feeds into the other two symptoms as well. Again, Hollywood has dramatized disassociation into “I wasn’t in control of my body!” Again, it can happen, but it’s more likely that you’re just detached. Numb. As if there’s a pane of glass between you and normal human interactions. You may be too hyper-focused on signs of danger to even notice body language and social rituals. Or they may just not seem to matter. Or both.

Likewise night terrors are overdramatized. The Catapult Nightmare is not very likely. You often have PTSD because something tried to kill you. The last thing your sleeping brain is going to do is make you an obvious target. You’re far more likely to come to in a muddled “was that real?” frozen terror. Rolling off the bed, also possible.

And since night terrors mean you don’t want to sleep, your immune system goes down more. And your concentration gets slammed, meaning you miss things, which sets off hypervigilant freak-outs even harder....

Hollywood misses a lot.

If you’re writing a traumatized character, go for it! But like writing anything else, do the research. And take anything Hollywood did on it with a boatload of salt!

#creative writing #worldbuilding #writing reference

8 notes · View notes

blondedonaldduck · 5 months

Note

PLEASE elaborate on the boyd and webby transgender autism. my ears are wide Thefuck Open

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

Boyd and Webby both technically have deadnames that are used towards them as a symbol of power imbalance between them and their creators. They both reject these names and the ones most important to them do as well.

Boyd being treated as a villain reminds me a lot of how people react when autistic people have meltdowns or other ‘bad’ symptoms. Him being controlled by Akita or glitching out is something he could originally do nothing about, and yet some people around him didn’t think that at first. Huey being the one to challenge this notion shows how far someone can go with some understanding and acceptance, especially if they don’t fit expectations.

Although Webby’s issues with social skills are caused by the fact she was sheltered for so long, to me it’s still a great metaphor. Early on in the show when she still struggled with it a lot, she wanted to get it right. And her loved ones recognize that she’s different in her own Webby way, but they don’t shun her because of it. They embrace it.

Boyd and Huey’s friendship reminds me of what it’s like to for two autistic people to meet when they previously didn’t know anyone else like them. There’s that feeling of “We are just as normal as everyone else, and they’re the ones that need to change their perspective instead of us changing everything about ourselves.”

The FOWL reveal reminds me of how the right people react to someone getting an autism diagnosis (although I’m a unicorn in the fact I got diagnosed very young, so I have no personal experience with that). To anyone else, it would’ve seemed like Webby was a whole different person all of a sudden. But her loved ones knew that it didn’t make her ‘evil’ and still saw all the best parts of her.

Tl;dr Boyd and Webby’s arcs share themes of being misunderstood by people who brought them into the world with bad intentions, deciding for themselves who they really are, and finding themselves at home with the people who see them as the normal kids they are.

#i probably missed some points #also the trans part was way shorter but there’s a lot of overlap and that one point was pretty big #i also think mcduck family history is like a special interest to webby

12 notes · View notes

scythemichaelfaraday · 3 months

Text

I am once again realizing that engaging with anything JTHM related while actively struggling with many mental illnesses is in fact bad for my health.

Under the cut: a love letter to JTHM with a side of divorce papers. Also an apology to anyone in the community who I've hurt directly or indirectly.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I found a space for JTHM in my life when I really needed it to find me. It helped me find my best friend, my spouse, and many cool people who have made all sorts of impacts on my life.

It helped me feel seen when I was struggling with coming to terms with the "darker" and "scarier" symptoms (homicidal ideation, delusions, paranoia) of my disorders. It helped me feel like I wasn't alone in my despair and my anger and angst.

It helped me process when I lost my sister to suicide. It helped me explicitly write out my darkest fantasies of violently killing the people who kept my sister from coming home from the morgue. It helped me take out all of my pain and trauma out on a single individual that already was hurting so deeply, so why not hurt him more. But as time has gone on, I've realized that I have distanced myself farther and farther from the source. I've created a Johnny of my own- one different but cut from the same cloth of Jhonen's. It became unclear to me where I started and Johnny began. I integrated so much of myself into my version of how I wrote and drew Johnny that it started to seem more like a mirror than a self-portrait.

I cut my hair like him. I wore similar clothes. I acted in a similar manner. I imagined myself looking like him when people perceived me, despite being... 5'1", filipino, and not-at-all thin.

I had a dilemma, I wanted to be him, but I also wanted him to be more like me.

I styled his hair to be more like mine: less spiky, more soft, rounded, full with my current (constantly changing hair color) to match. I gave him my glasses. I put him in my clothes. I gave him undiagnosed chronic pain, then MCTD, then fibromyalgia. I gave him a cane. I gave him self harm scars in the exact same places mine are. I later gave him my "sexuality" (both in terms of orientation and otherwise) and my gender identity. He has my Bipolar, BPD, PTSD, ADHD, ED, Anxiety, etc. And finally, I gave him my partner, or at least the characters that my partner also furnished for themself.

At this point in my journey of mental health, I can say that I've turned Johnny into quite the projection. Even before I met my current partner, I gave him a spouse and kids, things that I vehemently denied wanting, but secretly desired to be stable enough to have. Well... less so the kids.

I wanted him to recover in the same way that I wanted and still want to. Not to be "fixed." There is no fixing mental illness, just treating it and learning how to live with it. Fucking up and fixing along the way. Just like I gave him those other things, I inserted a support system into his life; I gave him a family; I gave him a purpose outside of the one that Jhonen made him for and... it felt freeing but it also felt scandalous. Sacrilegious. Forbidden.

I was so afraid that people would see the Johnny I "created" and shun him and by extension, me. "He's out of character. He would never say that. This is who he is. This is who he is only allowed to be."

As someone with Borderline, I internalized the outcry of OOC as an attack against my constantly fractured sense of identity and kept myself stuck in the ways I always were. I believed that in order to stay within the community/fandom, I would have to stay as sick and as disordered as possible or else I'd be an outsider someone who just "doesn't get it." Someone who "doesn't get Johnny."

And maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe there really isn't "getting" Johnny in the same way for everyone, but this isn't about that.

On the opposite hand, when I became more secure in my recovery (or at least during a phase of it) I was more defensive of my depictions. That other people were talking about me behind my back, that I was pariah of sorts that dared to think differently. I thought: these people want to stay stuck, they want Johnny to stay stuck. They engage in these things that are so sickening and awful. Why can't they be like me and just hurt themselves?!

Then, someone's response to it made me realize that I was no better no different than them. What gave me the right to judge people for how they coped with their trauma and disorders? My cutting, my vent art, and interaction with the same exact media was just the same as them engaging in a community that while I still wouldn't become a part of, I have newfound respect for. We are all just trying to fucking cope with our awful lives and experiences and I had and have NO RIGHT to judge them for it.

So to be crystal clear without naming names: I am sorry for what I've said about people who engage with the TCC. I am sorry for what I've said regarding people liking Jimmy. I have not sent anon hate or any hate to people who like Jimmy, but I have made comments such as "liking X is like you being the Jimmy" and thus have contributed to the fandom's hostility towards people who like Jimmy. It is through these people that I've discovered that there is a lot more nuance than I can personally appreciate for the character. I may not like him still, but I do respect and admire anyone who can find comfort in him or otherwise.

Since then, it's been a journey of accepting that from the start, I have engaged with the community from a standpoint of mental illness. Much like someone forms a trauma bond with a friend or acquaintance, I trauma-bonded with JTHM and have been "married" to it for 7 (heh heh) long, complicated years. It's been my personality, my identity, my story, my thoughts, my everything. I didn't lose myself in JTHM, because I never knew who I was, and I still don't. But remaining married to it has severely impeded my ability to learn who I am.

I did character analysis after character analysis. I combed through every last page, read every last note Jhonen wrote, turned the book over and over to read the hidden messages in the borders. I tried to parse who Johnny is, who he wants to be, his likes, dislikes, his dreams, nightmares, fears, everything. I asked him everything about himself, but I didn't once turn those questions towards myself directly.

I want to learn who Zzy is. What Zzy wants. What Zzy likes, dislikes, fears, aspires to, everything. And with this final step towards freedom from JTHM, I think that I am ready to learn who they are. Or at least, try. I want to try for them.

This doesn't mean that I will be leaving behind the Johnny I've built, but rather that I will work towards making him something of my own rather than the extension of something that was never mine to begin with. I love the world and story I've built with him too much.

So thank you, JTHM, thank you Jhonen, for giving me some serious pain food to chew on. My monster's teeth have been continually sharpened and worn down all these years thanks to your help, but I think I can take it from here. I will never forget the awesome people you've connected me with, the experiences you've granted me, and the relief you've offered.

However, we also have not been good to or for each other. I made you into everything about me. I forced you into every corner of my life. You convinced me to abandon all hope of wellness and manipulated me into the temptation to stay with you even when I knew it'd be better to distance ourselves. You kept me from discovering myself in some of my most formative years. These are things that will take a while to recover from. And these are things that cause me to tell you that we are done.

This isn't goodbye forever, but this is sayonara for now.

#jthm

13 notes · View notes

unknownzapy · 1 year

Text

Author’s Note: I do not support nor condone the actions mentioned in this piece of writing and should stay purely in fiction. This prompt is for entertainment use only. If I missed any triggering topic, please tell me.

─━━═════⊰⊱ ⬛ ⊰⊱═════━━─

Triggers with Red Bold are especially detailed in these Head-Canons. Viewer discretion is advised.

Trigger/Content Warnings:

Murder

Suicide

Gaslighting

Mental Abuse

Mass Extinction

7 Stages of Grief

Mental Breakdowns

Gatekeeping Trauma

Symptoms of Amnesia

Symptoms of Paranoia

Symptoms of Depression

Declining Mental Health

Implied use of Dark Humor

Declining Physical Health

Symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome

Symptoms of Derealization Disorder

Prompt: Sans The Skeleton (Undertale) with a Gender Neutral Reader who is the Player that did the Genocide Route. This could go either Romantic or Platonic.

─━━═════⊰⊱ ⬛ ⊰⊱═════━━─

Sans, as a whole, finds you disgusting and revolting in all ways possible. As much as he doesn’t remember every single detail about whatever route you chose and restarted all over again, specifically Genocide in this case, all he knows is that he’s going off on what he can remember. This includes hunches and “bad feelings” when he’s close, or in the same area, with you.

The second time you open up a new game file after a RESET, Sans immediately can’t keep his eyes away from you and keep his distance. The air around you feels familiar, yet so ominous; whenever you come near, he instinctively backs away from you. He’s fairly apprehensive about you, but at the same time willing to talk to you if you hadn’t killed anyone…yet. If you did, he’ll probably tell you that it was out of self defense and make a snarky comment or joke towards you and not the monster.

Anyways, Sans catches on fairly quickly about your behavior. You want to harm/kill monsters, but you just can’t. You want to achieve a True Reset out of guilt, out of curiosity, out of boredom, whatever it is that fills you with, well, DETERMINATION. Whatever it is, The Skeleton has this weird feeling that, once you set free Monsterkind, you’ll destroy their hopes and dreams at their most vulnerable. Including his.

Majority of the time, he knows he can’t do a damn thing about you RESETing over and over again for whatever reason, but at the same time, a piece of him says that you’ll give him and everyone else a real, genuine happy ending. However, and let’s all be real here, Sans is already getting delusional about it.

The very moment you actually do a Genocide route for a second time though, Sans strangely puts his absolute all into the fight when you eventually come to Judgment Hall. He was skeptical about you at first, but took his chance at being patient. Weirdly enough, his attacks were more rough, more wild, less accurate, less within the code…that’s when it clicked. Sans slowly, but surely deviates from his usual laid back and lazy self to a shunned, hard working monster who wants answers. He jumps from blueprints and experiments to theories, lack of severe sleep, and living off of caffeinated coffee.

He doesn’t know why of all sudden he cares so much about you slaughtering everyone, despite claiming he “didn’t care anymore about what happens next.” Call it survival instinct or fight or flight, Sans is going with it to save himself from you, or whatever “allies” you have, but he tries not to dwell on that too much.

Throughout his search of trying to figure you out, his friends grow increasingly worried for him, especially. However, as much as they are worried, Sans brushes it off as “nothing to worry about” and cracks puns about his situation to loosen everyone up.

“I used to be able to pull all-nighters but now I can barely pull all-dayers.”

“People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.”

“I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.”

Along with his sanity, Sans’ puns become increasingly deteriorating to questionable to outright concerning. Sure, he does care about the other monsters’ well-being as well, but he’ll give them tough love every once in a while, followed by a wink and a “self aware” hint, letting them do whatever they want with that information.

“I know I’ve been working harder than I usually would, but I wanted to make a change for once and take my little bros advice. Plus, Paps wouldn’t stop complaining ‘bout my sock pile. Anyways, don’tcha have a dinner date to go to?”

With decreased sleep now slapped onto him, Sans is quite dismissive about his attitude to the point where people either get annoyed or leave him alone, both knowing that Sans is better than this. All it takes is time, and as patient as he is, sometimes he wishes that you would RESET and make them forget about his changing behaviors. But you don’t. Knowing you, you want to see the end results about him as much as he does about you. But at the same time, his patience becomes thinner and thinner the more his fellow monsters beg and plead for him to know what’s wrong and offer to help him whatever’s bothering him.

…But he can’t. Sans knows he can’t reveal the truth. Even if he did, no one would believe him except a certain flower. Speaking of which, Sans did try speaking with other boss monsters about his particular predicament. Toriel was overwhelmed with grief and shock, Undyne was pissed more than ever and took her anger out on him verbally and physically, Asgore was more understanding because he knew how many times you’ve died before but still couldn’t comprehend you as a whole different person entirely, Papyrus is out of the question since Sans knows he couldn’t handle the same burden that he bears (plus he couldn’t see Pap dying again, even if it is fruitless anyway), and Mettaton is…well, Mettaton would most likely glorify the situation in hopes of having a better life in the underground and degrade you, the Player’s (and Frisk’s), existence.

Then there’s Alphys. I feel like both of these characters are in the same situation, whereas Sans’ story is hundred times worse than Alphys’. Alphys is to True Lab as much as Sans is to The Player, which makes them click instantly, even if the given circumstances aren’t entirely ideal. Sans being Sans, Alphys unlocked a new sense of humor for coping with hiding with the True Lab (and yes, she shared her secret after reluctantly hearing about Sans’ story since they share an interest in science. I feel like they’ll have a mutual understanding and friendship for each other afterwards).

The two go back and force with the darkest of jokes, morbid of puns, the list goes on. Though, it could only last for so long before something happens. That “something” being the suicide of Alphys. Sans would become shocked, albeit knowing it would happen eventually, deep down inside. Alphys did take it better than the others, although in an extremely toxic form.

Maybe it was his fault that Alphys died, only going towards her for personal comfort instead of genuine thought. At first, Sans was shocked at her suicide, surprisingly the only person to know about her death, excluding you. He wanted to take proper vengeance for her, but considering everything, it would be in vain but to continue living for her sake, chipping his mentality away more and more as he did so. After that very moment, the monster began to deny the very existence of you. Then His peers. Then His friends. His brother, too. Even himself.

Sans abruptly stops his little investigation about you and throws it all away, finding it all useless, considering you’ll just RESET all over again which will take him back to square one. He bottles all these intense emotions under wraps until he absolutely shatters, breaking down into heated tears of both hatred and anger and deep depression with him flinching at the slightest of movement from anyone around him. All happiness and dedication of surviving is now dissolved into guilt, rage, and paranoia.

Sans doesn’t have any reason to be alive anymore. Not if you’re still here, anyway. Even if you do “leave” after everything, after being “curious” enough, the after effects you made and mental scars you leave on him is immeasurable. He gaslights himself that he didn’t go through that kind of trauma, he gaslights himself that you never existed, he even gaslights himself that he’s perfectly “normal” and everything around him is “real as he can understand.”

Sans, after departure, still clings to you like a parasite, sadly. You’re the only thing that can control this timeline of his. He needs you. Your laws and actions are basically law to him now, even if it is worst case scenario. You’re more real than anything else to him.

He tries to fill this void in him, which is completely linked to instinct and survival. By doing so, he oftentimes takes from or harm others, unintentionally speaking, due to his utter lack of self control that comes with his desperation to feel “whole” again.

There are things that we need in life, and then things that we simply want. And with you, there’s no real line to that, which is why his lack of self control for living is so dangerous. If he feels like he needs something more than someone else wants something, then there’s a good chance he’s not going to back down. What it really is, rather than just a need to survive, it’s a need to live and experience the things around him, unironically speaking.

As fucked up as it is, Sans is devoid of his former self, a husk of twisted humor and unhinged mentality who would do anything to survive, even if it costs him to live off of the most dangerous creatures around him. All it takes is time to ease his way towards appreciating you a little more, right?

#Undertale #sans the skeleton #sans skeleton #sans #undertale sans #sans undertale #headcanon #headcanons #undertale x reader #x reader #reader x Undertale #cw long post #long post cw #tw long post #long post tw #maybe a bit of Alphys x Sans in here???#I don’t ducking know lol

52 notes · View notes

freedfromthegalactichivemind · 9 months

Text

So, I just had something tense going on. Maybe I worked myself up beyond necessary. A dear friend of mine on Facebook - we have yet to meet in person, but we know each other’s real names and have exchanged snail-mail (she’s bought some artwork from me and she’s sent me crafting supplies out of her surplus and little gifts for me during periods when I was feeling down) was saying some very disturbing things that I caught. Like, I’m looking at my feed and see “Goodbye, cruel world.” She’s not one to joke about stuff like that. I looked at her page and something I’d missed was a post about how a medication wasn’t working right for her, was making things wonky. She’s diabetic and has some other health issues and apparently a new medication she was put on was giving her a rare and dangerous side-effect. Her messages were such that I did not know if she was so pissed off at her health that she was thinking of just ending it or if she was having a medication and/or diabetic reaction and was essentially letting her online friends know that she was dying. I assumed the latter, but I did not know if she had anyone with her to help her out. Cue me trying to get ahold of mutual online friends, frantically looking through old mail packages (a box I use for storage she sent me) to try to find her address, finding it finally on an email search, asking my partner something I didn’t know “Can you call 911 on someone not in your state?” and finding out that I actually could, it just takes some transfer. My friend turned out to be okay. Emergency folk showing up at her door scared the Hell out of her husband (I did not know if he was home, you see, I was going by scary and cryptic Facebook posts). She was just having an issue with her medication that balanced out. She was glad to have some random online friend care enough for her to worry like that. She hailed me on Messenger and explained everything. And now we’ve set up for when we have a couple of days off next week to actually visit and hang out / see each other in person finally / finally let me pet the cat she posts pictures of which is the most gorgeous cat in the universe / maybe see the Barbie movie if either of us don’t get to it in the meantime. Anyway, why am I sharing this? It’s giving me a bit of a flashback to 2 years ago when I was having a very rough time and thought I had friends in this particular fandom. I had known / chatted with people for about 3 years and though we’d met in Spop fandom and in a subfandom thereof, but many of us shared personal things together and I thought I had actual friends - online friends based on one mutual interest - but friends, nonetheless. Some things went wrong with me and some of them, misunderstandings, me overreacting, some symptoms of my known mental illness coming into play (not that it excuses my bad choices), but pretty soon, I found even the people who were trying to stick by me were dumping me, either because of me getting to be too much of a pain or because some of the popular people in the fandom at the time said “Jump!” and they said “how high?” - I had even people I’d barely interacted with on a blocking / shunning / gossping campaign around tumblr. The most hurtful thing about it was that people who I had become, what I thought, really good, personal friends with just let me go, too, when I was saying some blatantly suicidal stuff online. I understand people who barely knew me going “not gonna touch that dumpster fire” but with people who seemed to care about me / told me they cared about me... the abandonment hurt. Now, I never expected anyone to go out of their way for me. People on tumblr don’t know my real name or address. There’s no way to call emergency services on me or anyone with “just a fandom name, just a big website.” There were one or two people I had shared my Facebook with just in case something happened with me so they could contact my family / closer friends. But, even that... yeah, just straight up abandonment and approval given to someone who was spreading the idea that I was “faking it.” (I wasn’t and I have hospital records to prove it, not that I’d post those online). However, the thing that I thought I could expect from friends, some of whom I was starting to consider deeper than just-fandom-friends was some kind of “please call 911″ message given to me, or a posting of a hotline number to remind me that it existed / to let me know that I was cared for as a human being - Even if some people had to block me because I was going off the rails and their own mental health couldn’t take it, I expected some kind of basic “we want you to get help” from friends rather than “Figure it out on your own!” and “stop crying wolf!” I suppose some people get a deer in the headlights reaction to these things and go into denial. Believing that someone is not in danger is easier, but... I found out who my real friends were, I’ll put it that way. And ever since, I’ve kept a bit of distance in regards to making friends in this fandom. (Even if I wind up talking with you about deep stuff, I’m not going to trust you like, say - that crafting / art friend talked about above that I met on a left-ish politics-forum and then started talking about cats with). This is deeply personal. I’m surprised you read this far if you did. I’d ask people not to spread this / encourage dogpiling from my former friends, but, it’s the Internet, so what are ya gonna do? I don’t care anymore about any of that, or them. If people get their rocks off complaining about someone by name they haven’t talked to or about in 2 years, who am I to judge? I have a lot of people blocked. Meh, just wanted this off my chest.

#not she-ra #only she-ra adjacent

5 notes · View notes

shrimpmandan · 2 years

Text

I honestly really, really hate the sanitization of mental illness in writing spaces. People are so on-edge about mental health awareness that they ironically end up not being very aware at all. This is mostly about mental illness and how it relates to violent or criminal activity, abusive behaviors, and just in general being a bad person or doing bad things.

I should preface by saying I, and almost everyone in my immediate life, is mentally ill. I am speaking from personal experience and not for the entire mental health community. I won’t be naming specific diagnoses, but I will be talking about how people don’t like to acknowledge that, yes, mental health DOES contribute to toxic behaviors and sometimes even violence.

Destigmatizing mental illness is a good thing. There is LOADS of misinformation out there about mentally ill people, stereotyping them as inherently dangerous or volatile. Obviously, this isn’t accurate. The issue is people have gone to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and begun to silence and shun mentally ill people who display those stereotypical behaviors. Mental illness is insanely broad. Certain disorders may be characterized by violent impulses or ideations, while others aren’t. It really depends. And even still, no two people with the same disorder will act the same way. One person with Borderline Personality Disorder may be kind and compassionate, another person with the exact same disorder may be violent and cruel, or maybe even both depending on the day -- the severity of symptoms fluctuate for most disorders! Stereotyping all mentally ill people as being incapable of doing wrong is just as bad as stereotyping all mentally ill people as monsters; the former is infantilizing, but both are dehumanizing.

I personally write characters based off of my own experience, both with my own mental illnesses and with my family’s. Every single person in my immediate household with the exception of my brother has either considered, openly discussed, or attempted violent or abusive acts. We’re all trying to unlearn toxic patterns. That’s just how we are. I write characters based off of this, and I can’t say that mental illness HASN’T contributed. I would not be as angry and unstable as I am if it weren’t for years of trauma, I can say that much. Mental illness, while rarely a sole cause, is a contributor to violent and toxic behaviors. You also have to consider environmental factors, such as if the person is in a supportive environment where they can get help or not. Maybe they live somewhere where violence and death is simply normalized.

It’s important to kill misinformation about mental illness, but to say that mental illness never contributes to acts of violence and abuse counts as misinformation as well. Mentally ill people who are like myself WILL see these messages about how portraying mentally ill people as violent is inherently bad, and internalize it to believe they themselves are bad.

#personal #mental health #mental illness #mental health awareness #writing #psychology #ok to rb #tw abuse

64 notes · View notes

spacedreamerz · 2 years

Text

Bif Taylor Headcanons!

Bif used to be a total dork when he was younger.

From 3rd to 7th grade, Bif would get severely bullied.

Bif used to be short and scrawny. He had big round glasses and a hard lisp whenever he talked. Pair that with his shyness and love of outer space, Bif was relentlessly picked on.

He would often come home with bruises, cuts, black eyes, and a lot of his school supplies damaged.

He used to have depression. It went unrecognized until he was 13 though. Bif's father noticed his son's worrying changes in behavior and had a talk with him. He then noticed his son's symptoms of depression and had him go to a therapist. Therapy seemed to really help him.

One of Bif's favorite things to do to take his mind off negative thoughts is exercise. Due to bullying in PE, Bif used to hate exercise. Though when he did it on his own time, he really enjoyed it.

The summer before 8th grade, Bif really self-improved.

Bif is totally ripped under his shirt.

Bif is really scared of disappointing his father. Although his father never shunned or scolded Bif for any of his failures. Since he means so much to him, Bif really wants to make him proud.

Bif's father didn't use to be super rich like the rest of the preps' fathers. Though when Bif's wealthy great aunt died, much of her money went to his father.

Bif is more likely than the rest of the preps to do "poor people" things.

He sometimes gets tired of the preps' snobbish behavior.

Bif doesn't get to see his dad a lot since he's always busy. This makes him really sad sometimes.

Every once in a while, Bif and his father get in the ring for a sparring match.

Bif didn't start boxing until 7th grade. He was tired of all the physical abuse he got at school every day. He wanted to know how to defend himself.

He was rather bad at boxing at first, but after TONS of practice, he became a very talented boxer.

Bif much rather prefers genres like rap, R&B, and Rap Metal to classical.

Bif is really popular.

He still gets depressed rather easily.

Bif definitely curses a lot when he's alone.

Bif and Derby met at a party Derby's father was hosting. Mr. Harrington had heard about Bif's boxing talents and proposed that he and Derby do a friendly match. Though it was really close, Bif ended up winning thus proving his boxing talent. Derby was a bit angry but ultimately impressed that Bif beat him. This led to Bif being employed as Derby's bodyguard by Mr. Harrington.

Bif is considering becoming a professional boxer when he graduates.

Bif is actually really smart. All his grades are A's.

He goes to the library to study sometimes.

Bif finds a lot of "lowbrow" humor hilarious.

He's also one for a bit of dark humor as well.

Bif plans of going to college.

If being a professional boxer doesn't work out, Bif wither wants to be a personal trainer or an astronaut.

Bif has TONS of knowledge about space, STEM, and engineering.

He's wanted to be an astronaut ever since he was little.

He used to be a HUGE star wars fan. He still is but doesn't show it.

Besides boxing, Bif does well in basketball.

Bif refuses to let himself get bullied again.

If he doesn't see you as a total loser, Bif will defend you from bullies.

Bif still gets dark thoughts sometimes.

He loves his friends. He's very loyal to them and is lightning fast to defend them.

Friendship is significant to Bif.

He's never had a girlfriend before.

Bif loves Fanta.

He lets his friends copy off his homework.

He's also very willing to help them with their work. He's actually a very good tutor.

Bif now has a lot of self-confidence.

#bif taylor #headcanon #headcanons #bully rockstar #2000s #video games #rockstar games #headcannons #bully preps #preps #bully headcanons

27 notes · View notes

myhauntedsalem · 1 year

Photo

The Evil Eye

Everyone gets a dirty look now and then, and we usually think little of it.For most of us it is soon shrugged off, but in many places belief in “the evil eye” is taken very seriously, and requires immediate action to avoid harm.

The evil eye is a human look believed to cause harm to someone or something. The supernatural harm may come in the form of a minor misfortune, or more serious disease, injury — even death. Symptoms of illness caused by the evil eye include loss of appetite, excessive yawning, hiccups, vomiting and fever. If the object attacked is a cow, its milk may dry up; if a plant or fruit tree, it may suddenly wither and die.“

The evil eye is also said to cause a number of other maladies including insomnia, fatigue, depression and diarrhea. In many places, disease is considered a magical as well as a medical issue, and the reason a given person succumbs to a malady may be attributed to a curse instead of random chance or exposure to a virus. It can even affect objects and buildings: The evil eye cast upon a vehicle may break down irreparably, while a house so cursed may soon develop a leaky roof or an insect infestation. Just about anything that goes wrong may be blamed on the power of the evil eye.

The evil eye is essentially a specific type of magical curse, and has its roots in magical thinking and superstition. Let’s say that a person experiences bad luck, ill health, accident, or some unexplained calamity — perhaps a drought or an infectious disease. Before science could explain weather patterns and germ theory, any bad event for which there was not an obvious cause might be blamed on a curse. Curses, including the evil eye, are an answer to the age-old question of why bad things happen to good people.

Eyes are said to have special powers; they are said to be the gateway to a person’s soul. Shifting eyes are said to subtly betray liars, while a steady gaze may be endearing or menacing depending on the circumstances. Eye contact can create an intensely personal connection, whether between lovers or superiors and subordinates. Glaring or intense staring can convey power and authority over another. And of course, actors use their eyes to convey a wide range of emotions, including love, hate, disgust, boredom, scorn, surprise and envy. In fact it is this last emotion — jealousy — that underlies the evil eye’s cultural association with magic.

Belief in the power of the eyes is so powerful that any eye affliction has come to suggest evil and bad luck. People who are cross-eyed, have uncontrollable eye twitches or spasms (a condition called blepharospasm), or who merely have a prominent squint have been shunned and feared as provoking bad luck, especially among those who work in dangerous occupations such as fishing and mining. Similarly, those with unusually close-set eyes or eyes of different colors were often suspected of having the evil eye.

Babies and children are said to be especially susceptible to harm from the evil eye, and in many countries, including Greece, Romania, and India, praising a child publicly is sometimes considered taboo, for the compliment will draw the attention of the evil eye. In order to ward off the evil eye, parents of a thoughtlessly praised child may ask the person who gave the compliment to immediately spit in the child’s face. Because the momentarily exalted youngster has been brought down a peg, any harm by the evil eye is unnecessary; this spittle salve is harmless yet insulting enough to negate the compliment.

Who has the evil eye? Maybe you do. Many believe that bad intention is not necessary, and that some people can cast an evil eye without even knowing it. If one person is believed to have the evil eye, other members of his or her family are often treated with suspicion — and any children are assumed to have the curse as well.

Though belief in the evil eye can be a harmless superstition, it can also be dangerous in some circumstances. Any time one person believes that another has harmed them — whether naturally or supernaturally, intentionally or accidentally — there is the potential for deadly retribution. Like other accused witches and sorcerers over the centuries, many people have been attacked, beaten, and killed for casting an evil eye.

#The Evil Eye #paranormal #ghost and hauntings #ghost and spirits #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

3 notes · View notes

tipsytruths · 6 months

Text

How To Be The One Who Can Let Go

You are in a relationship you think would last forever. You are living your dream of an epic romance. You are happy, contented, then suddenly, it’s over.

It may have come out of the blue, or after a few episodes of petty fights, perhaps after finding out that you have been cheated on, or because of some crappy circumstance that pushed either of you to call the relationship off. Regardless of what reasons, life after a breakup can feel extremely terrible.

Gone are the days when you wake up to sweet messages; no more late night talks, surprises, dates, hugs, kisses. What’s left are memories and flashbacks that send stings to your chest – that bitter cold feeling that was once a feeling of fluttering butterflies.

You remember them in every corner of your crumpled life. You remember how you once felt so secured; the way they held you, the way they kissed you. You miss the way they laugh, the scent of their perfume, even the teensy mannerisms you’ve gotten used to. You remember the first time your lips met, their eyes when they say ‘ I Love You’, and the jitters you get the moment you feel their touch on your skin. Then you remember the way they left you; you sulk on that dark walkway, staring blankly at a distance, wounded, aching, and torn. Broken.

Life passes you in a blur and you wouldn’t mind. You see things in a tinge of black and white. You drag yourself out of bed each morning and find no reprieve in waking. Another morning alarm, another cup of coffee, another day in the office. You feel like things would never be the same without them. You lie awake at night, getting yourself drunk with the “what if’s”, the “could haves” and the “would haves”. And it seems like programmed in loops and cycles that could go on forever.

You are trapped in an emotional limbo. You’ve become emotionally impotent, empty. You’ve unwittingly built walls around your heart fortified with barbed wires and mortars and landmines to fend off outsiders. You find it hard to trust people. You respond to emotional intrusions like antibodies fighting off common viruses. You learn how to diagnose symptoms of repeated pain to fight and protect yourself from its reoccurrence. You shut yourself off from boundless risks and possibilities of harm, rejection, heartbreak, and betrayal.

You reject love and the idea of it.

But you’re not scared of love itself – you are scared of being happy, but being alone; the ups, the downs, the twists and the turns that come along with caring about someone. You define things based on your experiences of love in the past, like a queue of boxes labeled with “good” or “bad” or “safe” or “unsafe”. And you feel invincible by shunning people away, which apparently has become a habit, a reflex, an automatic involuntary response. You look out for patterns to anticipate emotional disasters while subconsciously pushing people away to prevent them from inflicting unwarranted injuries. You decide that love is not for you and that you don’t need it anymore. And you’ll never allow yourself to be hurt again ever.

And when someone comes along at a time they are least expected, you find reasons to keep yourself away because you are afraid of the feelings that is your own. You know that love and life is all about taking chances, but you’re terrified to take risks — because you know that giving yourself the chance to be happy and exposing yourself up to the infinite possibilities of love and life – a gain – is not damn easy, and that you’ve learned it the hard way.

A failed relationship means it wasn’t meant to be. It belongs to the past – and often a difficult notion to accept. But soon you will realize that by rejecting love, you only hurt yourself more. While you may strongly believe yourself that you are over with it, truth is you’re holding on to their memory. You are cultivating emotions that prevent you from moving on. You continue bringing the past into your present and you’re unconsciously creating a future similar to your past.

So, let go.

It doesn’t matter how long it will take you to get back on your feet – a couple of months, perhaps a year or two. What’s important now is you understand how to love again and to never repeat the same mistakes. Experience is what you get when you fail at some point. You didn’t stop driving around a bicycle because you fell down many times when you were a kid, did you?

You wouldn’t know what real happiness is if you don’t understand pain. You wouldn’t know what true love means if you don’t understand how it’s like having a broken heart.

Opening your heart once again is opening yourself to possibilities of harm. And only by letting yourself accept that you still love them, will you be able to liberate them from your thoughts, from your heart, from your life. Strange as it may sound, but clinging to your bitterness against your past only hinders you to move forward.

Allow yourself to feel and stop scrutinizing for signs, warnings, and explanations in all things; just let them be, go with the flow. You’ve always been told that time heals all wounds, so take your time, don’t rush. There will always be more love to find and more love to give. It’s about getting over the fear of getting hurt again. Because at the end of the day, it’s still about taking chances and taking a leap of faith.

It’s time to free up your excessive emotional data; time to clear cache and cookies. It’s about time to cleanup the diminutive pixels of their existence from your system, or perhaps a total emotional reboot. This time, you’re as good as new, like a clean canvas, or an unspoiled chapters of an unopened book, or a blank DVD waiting to be filled with new set of romantic algorithms.

Don’t give up on love just yet; it’s time to press the reboot button – for a fresh start, a new beginning, and you’ll see that nothing can possibly be more liberating.

#letting go #moving on #love #relationship #breakup

0 notes

ilhoonftw · 1 year

Text

the 'very well known mlm leader has stage 4 cancer' story keeps unfolding

basically #bosslee is infamous for being a manipulative bigot and constantly lies about being the 'top best network marketer in the world' while also charging for 'business coaching'

her ex minion is now part of the anti mlm youtube niche and revealed #bosslee makes the new team members fill out very subtly invasive survey so she has leverage and also can make someone "feel special" by remembering their birthday idk so that they don't leave. some people join mlms for the community part :/. oh and #bosslee hates when people want to become leaders like her, and she will outst them or even shun them

her lives are hard to watch, she yells, she says weird shit for Shock Factor only to quickly switch to talking about her scammy mlm product. she's a full on bigot who fetishizes foreign men

she was in bunch of mlm companies, got sacked from one for being in a relationship with married higher up??

right now she sells ketones... ketosis inducing supplements??? a scam basically. she is infamous for being a "culty" mlm leader, she went with her team to colombia and took them for exhausting surprise overnight hike?

recently it was revealed she has stage 4 colon cancer... and allegedly after her colon surgery she went full on alt-medicine route :/ and in her recent lives she yells how she is cured and no longer has cancer? ma'am... 'i had no symptoms i'm healthy' when for months prior she kept talking how she went on a "health journey" aka lost a lot of weight. that's... a symptom

back to topic of fetisization, allegedly the man she's been dating for 7 months is married and had 3 kids under the age of 7. the divorce proceedings started out in january. basically they met on bumble when the guy was on a business trip and he just... never went back home. and he's allegedly ortodox jew... his wife is having hard time, go figure, and the kids probably don't understand why their father just vanished???

her recent lives are full of jabs towards the wife, she talks about her sex life and all that. and also she's openly antisemitic, just by the way she talks down on jews, says her boyfriend is hot because he's an arab jew? like the shit she says is really fucking terrible and goes beyond that but i will spare you the details. she'a a bigot

the ketones company she works for is in hot water because of alleged lead contamination happening in the main factory. and it is not the first time... her ex minion started compiling the list of ketones shills who passed away form cancer recently and ... it's not a short list, unfortunately

oh and regarding her medical treatment she keeps on saying how lucky and special she is because she was able to get "the best treatment" and "made millions as network marketer so she didn't have to worry about the cost so you too should get a business coach!" all while shitting on the doctors who performed the colon surgery on her and not listening to them at all. for years she was against getting medical tests like ultrasounds but forgot about it bc her own health is on decline... she's drinking muddy sea water instead of getting chemo. mlm company she works for is shitting their pants because if she dies they will lose a face of the brand plus income, and also bad pr - what if ketones killed her? but if she recoveres, it will be thanks to ketones!

#she's a terrible person but its fascinating ok

1 note · View note