#so that’s been my life oof

[foxgloveinspace]

Hulloooo! I just restarted my island last week! It's my personal nightmare currently but it'll get there. How have you been?

I’ve been pretty good! This weeks been a bit of a time cause I had cold that just completely zapped all my energy, but other then that, I’ve been doin pretty ok. Nothing to stressful or crazy and nothing too like.. exciting to talk about I guess, lol.

Hmmm, I think the most exciting thing that has happened is that I drove home from ‘the big city’ and I even drove in it, so like…. That was a bit crazy! Slowly getting there on the driving thing lmao.

I’m both really excited about starting over my ac island and like. Nervous lmao. I never really got very far in decorating it tho, so I’m looking forward to a completely fresh slate with it!

How about you? Anything cool, or just acnh (nothing wrong with that if it’s the answer tho 🥰).

#other then that.. my life has been taken over by sleep token (so please just blacklist them if you don’t like them cause I swear it’s all I #even post about anymore😭😭😭😭 I’m still confused about how I got here tbh.) and I’ve been knitting more again. and crocheting way more. #so that’s been my life oof #hihi!!! #kirishiimis #milo🖤 #idk if this is.. like I just wanna be reassuring here but like I want you to know that.. like I still think of you very dearly as a friend #and I know you’ve been very busy with The Baby💛 but like I want you to know no matter the breaks you take I’m still here! #I hope that’s coming across the right way tho #I’m trying very hard to unmask my adhd and anxiety and just tell people things so I’m sorry if what I’m saying isn’t even making since oof #oh!!! idk if I told you this or not (oh well) my mom got a job so now I’m just. #constantly home alone which is cool lol. it’s been pretty good for my mental health tbh #hmmmmm. idk I feel like when people ask me for updates it’s just my hobbies cause nothing happens in my life anymore😂😂😂😂😂😂 #edit: I did absolutely tell you about my mom getting a job… I think…… hmmmmmmm #eh doesn’t matter lol. I told you again🤷🏼🤷🏼🤷🏼

[silversoulstardust]

watching atarashii joushii wa do tennen for the BL but I'm amused at how accurately they portray traumatic work experience

a simple thing could be triggering

and yet it could easily be fixed with a kind gesture from a superior

#ive been working for almost a decade now and ive had a fair share of horrible bosses. so i sympathize with momose #the worst I've gotten was when i was still working under the government. i worked an average 80 hours per week and my boss at the time— #hated me and how vocal i was against his abuse (read: cutting off contract workers and passing the workload on the overworked paramedics) #so he digged out some shit on me from a year before (read: went on vacation outside the country without notifying the gov) and — #gave me an ultimatum: get transferred to another hospital or face disciplinary actions (and risk not furthering my study) #so i left #anyway. five years later shit works out just fine and im grateful for that. but it was depressing at the time #all the hard work I poured was wasted on the wrong people #oof im rambling too much #sorry bout that. still salty about that boss #i hope he's living a miserable life #chromie is watching #atarashii joushi wa do tennen #my new boss is goofy #momose kentarou #chrmz.txt

[study-lizard]

day 8 of 100 days of productivity! 1/22/24 i was actually quite productive today even though it was a low energy day for me

✿ 8am yoga - took it slow today bc of my low energy/mild pain ✿ did one hour of work accountability with a friend - bumped an email to some instructors about work i need to finish - schedule sent an email for my club - mentally prepared for my research meeting later ✿ went to the library to use a text for some outstanding classwork - accidentally took a nap, but it was a good nap - actually got a problem done for this class! - i've been struggling with motivation for this class specifically so im really pleased by this ✿ had a meeting with a postdoc on my research - it was really helpful and i know exactly what i need to do now - worked on my research for a bit after the meeting as well

been kinda just chillin since then, got co-op dinner and now burning a candle as i wind down with a cup of chamomile & a little chocolate :)

#also this is kinda irrelevant but im going back to being gf bc ive been physically suffering recently and oof #huge s/o to my celiac/intolerant siblings yall are so strong #(im gluten sensitive but usually just eat it out of convienience/taste) #my intolerance to it kind of builds up over time #hence recently reaching a tipping point #but its always so hard to restart the gf diet #anyways... #student life #studyblr #study #study blog #studying #studyspo #student #college #university #productivity #100 days of productivity #100dop #100 dop #productivity challenge #productive

[sualne]

going to rant a bit cause its been troubling me but im just like hungry all the time. ppl at work will leaves their food around and i cant eat it cause thats stealing but its there, and it smell and it's pretty and it's food and i can't eat it. ive started making myself meals when i come home even though i'll have dinner in like two hours tops and im still hungry even after that!! it never ends!! all im thinking about is food and im looking at my salary and just. i can't spend it all on food?? everytime i buy something i feel horrible because how necessary was that? how truly absolutely vital was that that it needed to be bought?? i mean food is vital buts theres food at home yknow, so this feel wrongs and like a waste but i also cant eat everything at home cause others needs to eat too but then im still hungry. like this isn't all that new buts it just gotten so much more worse in the past month (job is physical and all that, makes sense but shit dude).

#combined with the fact body doesnt seem to able to store weight and all the defiencies im just. bro. learn how to store the damn things #where does it go??? why hungry?? #this is prompted by weeks of bullshit and alos me making myself a midnight snack and fighting for my life not to make myself another #even though we ate not that long agoooo #need to figure out a cheap way to stuff my face #under read more for privacy but tunglr hasnt been any good with the readmore for a while so we'll see how that works #no im making myself another smth to eat this is just. oof

[talentforlying]

i've got stuff to do tonight but i am thinking about how it absolutely fucking pains me to see the joy and energy and love of living sapped from constantine's spirit over the initial run of hellblazer. like he goes from this spirited, wisecracking, life-loving, bully-punching, fastidious little guy to a man so disintegrated by decades of grief and being used and never being good enough for anyone that he was willing to be buried alive to serve a cause he didn't even care about. thank god they gave him back some friendly connections and some semblance of hope by the end of "red right hand", because that late-hellblazer constantine was utterly unrecognizable and it broke my heart.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #now let's be real: this shift was 90% that shitbird azzarello's fault #because that loser could not BEGIN to fathom the radical kindness and open queerness of early hellblazer and he didn't even fucking try #and his writing stained the character for YEARS because so many after him continued with that Macho Quasi-Devil image #and there is a LOT of his run that i categorically refuse to take as text #but from an in-universe perspective? seeing constantine crumble over time like that? fucking Oof #the beast of eden + rosacarnis + the gift/cheryl dying were really a turning point for him. they were his last straw #and i always like to read 'red right hand' with the grieving process close to mind because that's his depression + acceptance stage #the point where he finally finds something to live for again and starts to climb back out of his spiral #anyway shoutout to si spurrier for bringing some of john's love of the little things in life back to his run bc FUCK was it some fresh air #acknowledging all his trauma and all he's lost while still giving him moments of levity? Bless #idk does any of this make sense? i've been on a reread and losing my mind as always

[roseofcards90]

I have some time to chill before thanksgiving break and I’m so glad I can vibe for now 😭

#might go and pick up some more paradox rift cards today because oof I’ve been so unlucky for this pack 💀 #all my friends are getting 3 star ultra rares and I’m like wtf djdjdj #also hoping to send out a Christmas package and take Lucas to his appointment soon #he’s getting so long it’s hard for me to carry him 😭 #also might go and make a twitter again lmao now that I’m out of the pokemon fandom drama that idc about anymore lol #life is good right now life is better #I want to be better because I will not be like you #my posts

[paranorahjones]

in the latest revelations of Stuff I Probably Need To Work Out With A Therapist, i have found that i radically, paradoxically hate when people (but most especially my mother) help me when i clearly genuinely do need help but have not asked for it. and i usually don't ask for it because i hate doing so.

i didn't grow up in a household where help was freely given. i grew up in a "do it yourself" household. if i asked for help i was often met with a very stressful, unkind push to figure it out for myself, or i was made to feel inferior for needing help at all. the mindsets of "asking for help will worsen your situation" and "needing help is an unforgivable sign of inferiority" were ingrained in me from the get-go.

and i think i hate it most when my mother in particular offers to help me because she was largely the one who instilled those beliefs in me. so i find it hard to trust the heart behind her offers. i can readily admit that she has gotten kinder over the years, but i have not yet unlearned what she imparted to me. the other day she kindly offered to help me sort through/clean up the massive pile of clothes in my room that i have been too exhausted from work to deal with, and i was shocked at how immediately i internally resisted the idea of letting her help me. i wasn't unkind to her, i just turned down her offer and said i could deal with it on my own. but this isn't the first time i have refused her or someone else's help, in fact it happens frequently.

i think partly my resistance to it also comes from the fact that i very obviously needed help regarding mental health issues when i was younger and by and large did not receive it from my family in any measure, despite multiple pleas that i be put in counseling. so now i feel like i have to prove my independence after being forced into it.

#sometimes i wonder why i've been single my whole life #and then other times i realize that i need to deal with so much baggage that i wouldn't want to dump on another person #anyways #i love my mom but #oof

[daz4i]

i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better #and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐 #(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think) #but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day #despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔 #+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level #again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know #and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am #other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭 #and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more #(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count) #(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum) #(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use) #(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years) #this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍 #vent #negative // #ask to tag #sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months #(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^) #edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere #i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers #and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too #but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little #i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that

[rowanhoney]

today astrology has shown me the most disgusting things

#I want to throw up and set my phone on fire #combine the eclipse w merc retro and some more personal things in the sky rn #guess who’s back in my life. cb 👍👍 #the one person I was completely in love with 👍👍👍 #and asked why we are so drawn to each other and why can’t we stop coming back to each other #anyway our synastry is oof #like a mix of things but fated and karmic points are all being hit #mans Mars is right in my asc and Juno AND anti vertex #the nodes are doing a whole lot #then I looked at our composite #and almost everything is 4/5 house #except nn is 1st and sn is 7th #Jupiter is also 7th #some of the things I’ve read up on are just so #hey this person will feel like the love of your life #you’ll immediately feel like you’ve always known one another #etc etc #and it hits every point I’ve been saying since I met cb

[shadow13dickpistons]

Why Israel’s attack on Iranian consulate in Syria was a gamechanger | Israel | The Guardian

Good Lord, is Benjamin Netanyahu trying to get everyone killed?

#this one i hadn't been following closely #it was my birthday suddenly everything was blowing up and there was also an attack in Australia and I just had too much going on #but I tried to catch up this morning and....oof #real life #international conflict #iran #Israel #war #okay here's the good news: iran let their response be WELL known ahead of time #they expected and perhaps even wanted the counter measures to shoot it down #that means uhhh well #they're being more level headed than 'our own allies' #and quotes because Christ with friends like these who needs enemies #and Netanyahu doesn't like Biden he likes Trump #(y'know cause he's a fascist) #so we can't even get this guy to calm the fuck down #aaaaahhhhhhhhhh

[diaryofamadsunwukongfan]

Sage Ayana

Race: Human

Nationality: Atlas (Areia colony)

Ethnicity: Mixed Vacun & Mistrali

Weapon: Pilgrim

Gender: Man

Sexuality: Aromantic pansexual

Starting Age: 17

Birthday: Spring 1st

Aura Color: Green

Handedness: Right

Complexion: Dark brown

Eye Color: Red

Semblance: Remedy (Every time Sage's Aura shield takes damage, Sage's semblance converts the damage into a secondary Aura reserve called Mood. Sage can use his Mood to heal his body or to recharge his Aura shields immediately, which looks like green leaves wrapping around his body.)

Occupation: Haven student, Junior Detective, Boy band drummer

Previous Occuppation: Sanctum Regional Tournament player (2nd place ten times)

"And the winner is, Sage Ayana of Areia city!" the host announced to the crowd. The hundreds of people in the crowd went wild. Hundreds of them chanting, screaming, Sage's name. He could reasonably assume that almost everyone from his home was watching, cheering for him too. It wasn't good enough.

Sage headed to the locker room. He sat down and began checking his weapon for damages, even though last match only lasted about 7 minutes. That was when she came in. "Good afternoon, Sage Ayana."

Quiet.

"Good afternoon, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage said back to the armored redhead. "It seems we will be going up against each other in the finals again." Pyrrha stated.

Silence.

Pyrrha started again, "How many times have we faced each other like this?"

"Ten times, in a row. I lost every single match."

"Don't sell yourself so short! It's an accomplishment to make it to the finals consistently."

"Stop." Sage commanded.

Pause.

"... Pyrrha," Sage looked her in the eyes for the first time she entered the room, "you know what it's like for people like us. We don't represent ourselves, we represent our towns. And each time I lose here... forget it. I shouldn't have said that." Sage then turned his back again.

Pyrrha walked in front of Sage. "I apologize if my skill in combat has upset you," Pyrrha said, "but being the best comes with a price."

"That's easy for you to say-"

"It's not!" Pyrrha shouted. "... I know Areia is... unfavorably compared to Argus by Atlesians. But know that I, nor anyone else in Argus, view your city that way. We are equals. And it is an honor to earn second place as many times as you did even if you don't see it that way, friend." Pyrrha then reached out her hand to Sage.

For a moment, Sage considered taking her hand. Forgetting about his duties, his discipline, his fidelity to his parent's teachings of strength.

"We are not friends, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage stared her in the eye.

"... very well then, Sage Ayana. Eternal rivals, then." Pyrrha sadly stated.

"...ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the finale!!!" The host screamed so loud it could be heard inside the locker room.

Sage and Pyrrha got up and walked to the door, waiting for it to automatically open.

"May the best fighter win" Pyrrha hummed.

"I won't lose this time." Sage stated to her.

"You have said that ten times before." Pyrrha coldly stated back.

For a moment, Sage's mouth turned into a frown, but he corrected his face. He must always correct himself, always strive to be perfect... still not good enough.

#woohoo #yeah baby this is what I've been waiting for!!! #rwde #rwby fix it fic #rwby rewrite #rwby redesign #sage ayana #my boy is a real character now!!! #also oof #I had to work overtime to make sure neither Sage nor Pyrrha look too bad during their argument #like Pyrrha is just living her best life and trying to help someone she sees is struggling #but shes not a pushover either #and Sage knows he's in his feelings which is why he tries to avoid the conversation all togather and be nice regardless #but back to my soft redesign #Red eyes suit Sage better than the gold ones and it matches him with Scarlet/Pyrrha #I changed his arm thingy to be a dark cyan for Neptune #so now Sage has all of his teamates colors because without him team SSSN would fall apart #he's like #their daddy figure #;) #anyway if I ever try to do something like this again know that the palms will be light #making Sage's lips look the way dark skin peoples lips look irl dramatically improved this design #if you white take notes #but yeah I had fun!

[sadbitchboi]

The brain rot is taking over and my way of coping with life is blocking it and focusing on whatever my hyperfixation is at the moment

#this is me with Percy Jackson #life may be shit rn #but at least I have my traumatized kids to help me through it #just #oof #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #no but I’ve been so hyper fixated on the whole series again #I go to sleep every night thinking about the characters and the story #and then I wake up and continue thinking about it all #just ugh luke I hate you so so much but also like my sad little pathetic angsty boy #having a traumatic past doesn’t excuse your war crimes though #and then Percy and just how terrible everything for him is now and just how much worse it’s gonna get #AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON NICO MY POOR SAD BOY IM SOBINH

[strwberieswsugar]

really wanna know how takeomi reacted after mikey gave sanzu those scars cause if that was my baby brother i would have to be forcefully physically incapacitated to not get my hands on him

#like it’s not like i have expectations for him i just think he’s hot #but oof— I can’t imagine myself calm in that scenario think i would black out of reasonable thoughts #but then again maybe when they got there mikey was ‘normal’ again and apologetic n felt terrible about it idk #that would make it slightly less worse I guess #but omg if he was just standing there w that impassive face while MY baby bro had been scarred for life— shoes would be thrown first #anyways the akashis bday fanarts had me thinking.. my poor baby 😖💔 EYE would protect u😭💔 #mikey baby I love you but I’m so sorry the older sibling instinct just comes out like !poof! #tokyo revengers #tr #spoilers #sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #mikey #sano manjiro #takeomi #akashi takeomi #I need at least 2 tags in case one doesn’t work n i cant find the post but i think that’s all

[yea-baiyi]

also just caught up with moonlight chicken. i’m devastated. if you even care.

#moonlight chicken #i mean. this show. as expected of p’aof #it wasn’t NOT gonna wreck me #plus the latest ep. oof #but also i am jim and it just reaffirms that i’m spiritually in my late 30s #like at work i’ve been promoted so the kids my age are all newbies and i’m with the 35 year olds #i am living the jim life. oh to be the hot chicken rice uncle to some sexy stud going through a quarter life crisis #i can only dream

[foxgloveinspace]

saw your tags on my post and i hope you find that ‘spark’ to really go feral over sleep token again! they’re so much fun to be batshit crazy over, there’s just so much going on and they all seem like such genuine dudes i can’t get enough

that post was sparked by seeing a video of vessel sobbing through the end of ascensionism and like i was so done for after that. like physically shaking so i figured i needed a break for a bit 😂

also i think that altar sounds like an awesome idea! as soon as i move my dresser into my new place i’m setting up an altar on it

1). i am trying so hard to get it back, for real for real. I lit the candle I associate with them this morning, and thinking about the *altar thing has helped a bit.

2). share a link👀?? if you still know the video?? even if you don't know the video still, maybe send some others?? I would like to be a menace over them lol.

3). * I am now going to info dump to you about my sleep token altar a bit. Cause I am thinking too much about it lmao.

(readmore cause this got long and something... 'tragic' happened.)

(a little.. background, I am currently irl in the closet for everything including witchy stuff lmao) So far my idea for stuff on it includes: a small back prism, a small whale statue, a small apple pendant (each to represent the three albums). A bottle of oils (the little one I made, but also maybe something like the prayer oil we talked about). The candle I associate with them. I'm kicking around getting the incense holder if it comes back in stock on their website. bones/teeth (wolf, I'm thinking wolf). I'm thinking it'll be a little place on my main/working/creative altar. I might also try to find a tarot deck that i associate with them, I think that would be fun. something else I have been thinking about, but it would be so freaking expensive to do, is making a rosary with the 'offical' -

shit.... fuck shit fuck. I think I just spoiled myself on accident cause of google. I didn't see much but i think an old pic of vessel came up, but fuck google man. I went to google the official scythe pendant and google change sycthe (yes misspelled like that) to members for some reason, I am so confused and actually mad. Ok. I think I have forced my brain to forget. worst google fuck up ever.

ok, so ... trying to move on... I want to make a rosary with the official scythe pendant, some tahitain pearls and some black amber beads. I think that would be so pretty, and nice to hold and maybe wear. ( i know traditionally you don't wear them, but like.... I am making one to a band/fictional god lmao, it's not traditional at all.) but that would be very pricy for a piece of jewelry and I would probably never wear it cause of that haha. it would be like 400$ to be able to get the supplies.

#grumping ahead about the thing that happened in the end of this no spoilers i wouldn't do that to you. #I think I know one first name now. I am pissed. fuck google. I probably know what Vessel looks like fuck.... no spoilers but personally? #i am correct he's pretty. #I have never been so anger at google in my whole life?? why did it do that??? it took the top search from scythe to MEMBERS///// #I have never been more angry about being right about someone being pretty in my whole life fucking fuck. #ok I'll stop complaining it had to happen eventually but i'm pissy now *grump*. #I think.... I've already blocked it from my mind already... I think I know IV's first name tho?? or III's. Poo. I know it was down the list #so it wasn't Vessel's name. ugh. That was so upsetting and especially after the stress of the afternoon. Ugh. #our oven is borked and is putting out co2. so we have no oven for christmas oof. i was gonna make cinnamon rollsssss man. I'm sad. oh well. #I have calmed down by the time I am posting this. but dang I'm very upsetty spaghetti about that. honestly more upset about this then the #oven haha.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#oof. it as been a very very long day. so much talking. all day talking and interviews #and so far my feelings are mixed. bc it is a smaller university and its underfunded and cost of living is kinda high #and the town is small and isolated. HOWEVER #the faculty feels like a strong community and theyre all amazing scientists who choose to b there bc the quality of life is so high #they seem extremely supportive and the fact its small means that i could probably get around better given my intense anxiety around driving #and i could literally just walk to hiking paths rather than having to drive way out. and its fucking so beautiful. the clouds r gorgeous #bc theyre all conpressed by the mountains around this lil valley. also the potential advisor seems amazing. the grad students have good #things to say and hes excited that im interested in the things im interested in. and i talked to an astrobiology guy and he was like u #should apply for X grant and i would b happy to help u and the advisor is a former nasa post doc so he has nasa astrobiology connections. #so those r some pretty great things. i mean. of the schools im looking at this one would prob be the best for my brain tbh #i mean the uk one is too rigid in structure and i cant fuck around so much as at a us school. and the east coast on is hard to say no to bc #its a good school with lots of funding and opportunities to b creative but i would have to hard core get my shit together and hes quite #hands off. and id b living in the city which sucks. so like. i mean this school is kinda looking like the best choice for me. definitely #the healthiest. i mean assuming i dont fuck it up and get the offer after this weekend. but yeah. i mean im not fully in love i think #and the idea of commiting to 5years here is terrifying but id get a lot of support that i dont think ive really ever had. not that my #current boss isnt great but our lab is kinda disconnected. and i really fit in perspective wise in my interests. and id get to work at #[redacted] national park. which is so cool that i might have to unredact it if i end up here bc its so fucking next level #not that the national park i have access to now isnt awesome but. like its next level awesome and i could maybe wiggle may way into maybe #some arctic systems and i bet i could get my current boss to send me desert samples. so yeah i could def see a life here #but fuck i dont want roomates with all my heart. y does it have to b so expensive for a trash apartment? bleh #god. im so tried. so much talking. but a good day. and im going skiing tomorrow bc like thats a thing here lol #unrelated