#so she told me the story until the climax and i was like. wait. THEN WHAT HAPPENED

[snixx]

my sister's boyfriend is the music president of the school and every time she starts telling me about their silly little music club drama I get so many glee club flashbacks. I've said it before and I'll say it again bro is literally living in high school musical jesus

#THEY'RE ALL SO DRAMATIC AND EGOISTIC LMFAOOO #and they're all always fighting over getting a solo it's so funny #unfortunately my sister has zero interest in their bullshit and knows everything she does about them against her will #so she told me the story until the climax and i was like. wait. THEN WHAT HAPPENED #and she was like dude idfc im so tired of all of them they keep acting like five year olds #._. #and she's house captain so she has to approve all the performers from her house or smth #but it's so fucking funny her boyfriend is the funniest mf on the planet istg they're sooooooo benvi coded #this was what my musicians (derogatory) post was about yesterday btw. #NOT about my ex best friend the most Evil musician in the world for once crazy i know #although i did keep getting war flashbacks #girlblogging.pdf

[shoko-komi]

The Komi Report - Communications 444 & 445

This week in Komi Can't Communicate:

Tomohito Oda beats a dead horse...

...and the girls gamble.

Read It: Mangareader Mangakakalot Viz Media (North America Exclusive) Mangadex (English updates are dead, but there’s the backlog; and Spanish + Portuguese language updates)

As a Valentines Day gift, Oda has given me a headache.

I'll split this report into two parts

The Rumikai stuff

The Girl Talk Meeting

So skip to the second half if you're sick of reading my opinions on Rumikai. You won't hurt my feelings, because I understand alksdnlaknsdlak

So, after last weeks train-wreck I made two attempts at interpreting what was going on between Rumiko and Wakai; my first in the main Komi Report, and my second in an additional post that I made after I'd had time to reflect on the chapter and hear other people's thoughts. For brevity I'll assume you've read those.

Turns out I was sort of half right the first time, and half right the second. Rumiko was planning to turn him down...

...but was waiting until after the big soccer game. Then, when Wakai made his declaration, she said "uh-huh" because she was happy about it, and apparently couldn't resist.

What an absolute stinker.

Wakai's declaration was a poor thing to do for the following reasons:

It put immense pressure on Rumiko, who had explicitly told Wakai that she was feeling conflicted and needed time and space to think so she could give him a clear answer when she was ready

Wakai's choice of words was far too intense. "I play for you now" and "be mine forever" are insane things to say to a girl you barely know and with whom you aren't involved romantically

(A brief aside; mind that it's perfectly fine for characters in stories to do bad things and make bad choices. I lay out Wakais sins not to criticize him as a person, but to criticize the narrative choices Oda made in constructing and representing these events.)

However, as I initially thought, Oda does want the audience to view the declaration as straightforwardly romantic. Does he think this is what girls want?

Big declarations like this are common in romantic media - speeding to the airport to catch them before they board the plane, crashing through the window to stop the wedding, etc - and it can be very romantic, but only when the narrative is constructed properly. The characters involved need to actually like.... be in love. As well, there need to be outside factors that are preventing them from being together. That way, the declaration of love comes across as "we're in love and I won't let anything take you away from me" rather than what we have here, which is "I'm attempting to force you into a relationship by overwhelming you suddenly".

This plot-line is so severely undeveloped and mismanaged that Wakai just comes across as creepy and uncomfortably intense. Which could have been interesting if that had been the intention, but obviously it isn't. The fact that Rumiko is written to have enjoyed it and still might like Wakai makes me so frustrated I'll need to lie down after this. Oda also wrote the other girls to be all for it...

Sasaki and Kato would never endorse this.

I won't mince words; this whole thing reeks of misogyny. Reeks of it. I'm not joking nor am I being hyperbolic. There is the distinct odor of misogyny through this whole thing. Oda has a confusing track record when it comes to writing women; sometimes he's remarkable, other times he's about average for a shōnen mangaka (which is to say; bad). This is the worst he's ever done, in my opinion.

Not only that, but this apparently isn't even the climax of this story. Oda is still dragging his feet on the will-they-won't-they question. Rumiko is still conflicted. Pardon my language, but for fucks sake. Please let this end.......

If I had to guess, I'd say this dead horse will likely be beaten all the way to the end of the series. The love triangle spanned their entire second year (which was great because the love triangle ruled). To me, this plot appears to be the third year equivalent and will follow the same structure. Fucking huzzah.

Honestly, with any future Rumikai chapters I may just skip them. it depends on whether anything worth talking about happens, but I predict that any further developments will just be the same old thing. I'm thoroughly tired of them and I don't expect I'll have anything else to add. But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Let my blood pressure ease and fall aklsndlaknsdlaknsdlkansd

I've been really looking forward to the Girl Talk meeting about the TadaKomi kiss ever since that happened. It's unfortunate that a certain wet blanket was thrown over the whole thing, but I'm still determined to enjoy the fun bits of these chapters. So without further ado, let's let our hair down and have some fun:

asjdnalsdnlasndlansdlansdja

I would have bet my gummies on mint; if someone is anticipating their first kiss, it's likely they'll have a mint beforehand so their breath doesn't smell. My first kiss tasted like fried chicken and orange fanta, because that's what she and I had been eating beforehand.

alsdnlajsdnklajsdnajsdajkd wait a minute... when did Ase have her first kiss? That's new information!!!! How exciting!!!!

Girl I want to know the end of that sentence.

It says "the end" there, which is confusing. But it also says this is only the beginning of the investigation, so hopefully next week will continue it. We need to hear the story of Ase and Naruses first kiss. I like those two, so I'm keen for that.

--------------------------------------------------

Parting thoughts; there were bits to enjoy in these chapters, but they lie in the shadow of something truly dreadful. Hopefully we'll get more of the Girl Talk meeting next week, but there's also sure to be a chapter about Wakai's perspective on the soccer game event sooner or later. I'm feeling drained.....

My dear reader, I wish you a happy Valentines Day. I'm married to the Komi Report and cannot take on a lover, but it's still nice to celebrate love. Please enjoy some friend chocolate I made for you

Stay safe. I'll see you next week.

#komi #komi can't communicate #komi san wa komyushou desu #komi report #the komi report

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Sometimes I just cannot participate in fandom for things. I'll go into the tag for a show I've started watching and it's full of comments like 'ughh I've only seen 2 eps but the character is so mean but they haven't told us why' or 'the character does this in ep 1 and it's so problematic™ so I won't watch the show' or 'it's kinda cliche so you can see how this will pan out' and I'm like:

Expecting to be told why a character has a flaw in the first episode is like being expected to be told the twist to the murder mystery five minutes in. Character flaws in long tv series usually don't get resolved/explained until the mid-point or climax of the story. That's basic storytelling. It's not fan fiction where you can just throw it out in a line or hand wave it away. It has to be developed.

Which is why 'characters are doing problematic shit' in the first couple of episodes. Sometimes you have to wait for the character development and then explanation for why they do this shit. Sometimes it's reasonable and sometimes it's not. I once watched a show where the female lead was just Not Nice, but I stuck with it because the premise was about dealing with trauma. By the time I got to ep 5 I'd begun to understand why she was the way she was. I still didn't like her much, but I understood. Sometimes the purpose of the story is for you to not like the characters at first. Sometimes they're meant to be assholes. Not everyone can be good, pure, and flawless from the off. If you're only looking for that in a lead character...you're not looking at a human more a caricature of purity.

Sometimes we need cliched but fun garbage. Fun because not everything has to be so damn serious about issues all the goddamn time. Garbage because not everything should or even can be Prestige Award Winning Television about serious things. Sometimes you just need a show where you can see the ending coming, but the journey is going to be silly fun. Too often you see 'we live in a society' takes for a show that is just switch off your brain and enjoy entertainment. No wonder people struggle with things if they're always looking for 'ahh yes very cerebral' from something like a camp romcom.

I suffer from being too switched on, which means I will often see who the murderer is or where the story is going from the first episode/chapter. I've had to learn to switch my brain off and just enjoy something for what it is, rather than critique it for something it's not even trying to be. Too often you see posts where it's clear someone just didn't vibe with the show, but they then have to make something up to make it seem like a bigger deal because they need to be seen to be performatively Critiquing™ rather than saying 'eh not for me' and moving on. I mean, I've seen a show I might like to watch, gone into a tag, seen tons of people say 'oh no it does this awful thing don't watch it uwu' so I've watched it out of curiosity. Either the thing they didn't like was over and done with by the end of the first episode, pointed out that it was 'wrong' in the first episode, was over in the first 20 minutes of the first episode and doesn't appear for the rest of the series, or it was a very minor incident that the echo chamber has now blown wildly out of proportion.

idk what the point of this post was tbh but I really wish people would just allow themselves to enjoy things without feeling the need to provide a literary critique on why they liked it (or didn't). I miss when fandom was about finding silly little clues or just talking about what happened in the episode without really passing that much judgement. Silly fun, y'know?

#I'm really hoping hollywood remembers that camp silly films that aren't made for awards season are fun #I miss those sorts of films

[coldshrugs]

Self-Rec Tag Game

Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

@ghostwise tagged me for this!! thank you, beloved!! it's so fun and i believe in self-hype so here we go. this is bound to get long, sorry.

i'll tag @syrcus @scionshtola @gefiltefished @rickety-goose @myreia @lilas @thevikingwoman (this is seven people BUT many of us have been struggling with The Block lately so i'd love to see you guys celebrate yourselves if you want to 💗)

✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨

in this state (FFXIV): a moment immediately following Ultima Thule's climax, in which estinien and alisaie sit with an unconscious io. i really loved having them ignore and then play off each other for this!

“You care for her, don’t you?” Alisaie asks. Estinien scowls at the very specific emphasis in the question. He cares about a great many people, Alisaie not least among them. He cares for their causes and their well-being. But that is not what she is asking. It hasn’t needed a name before now, this feeling. Most often, it is in his chest, unfurling softly each time Io smiles, or rests her head against his shoulder, or speaks kindness to a stranger, until he can feel nothing but her warmth. Other times it shoots up his spine, a radiant pride that strengthens his arm and steadies his aim. It is the knowledge he would follow her anywhere because there is no one he trusts more. And now it lodges between his ribs, sharp and stinging. He answers after a long moment. “Aye.”

✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨

vacation, had to get away (TWC): i attempted to write a spooky story because TWC is not nearly as unsettling a universe as it could be. lots of fun but ough, i was so far out of my romance wheelhouse.

Between the clutter and sightseeing, even under the blazing coastal sun, there’s always something dark shifting just at the edge of Rebecca’s vision. Faint shadows twisting out of view at the last second. The wound-wet itch of unease prickling her skin. Someone is watching—of that, she’s certain.

✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨

oblivious (FFXIV): aymeric and estinien catching up and being besties. aymeric living for his friend having a crush. plus the groupchat decided this was the one (1) time aymeric is allowed to say "fuck."

“Mm, perhaps ‘friend’ is erroneous in both cases. Nevertheless, I am pleased you have someone like her,” Aymeric pauses, “for support, of course, as you adjust to– what was it again?– 'all these fucking academics.’ Though, I am confident they are thrilled to have you on their side.” Estinien leans back on his heels, chuckling at Aymeric’s weak-voiced swear. “Aye, they’re a hospitable group.” He glances up the stairs. Io and General Aldynn are inside now, and though his face does not betray him, there is a gravity to his pining. It pulls at him. He takes a step forward, clapping Aymeric on the shoulder. “I should go inside. It was good to see you, my friend. Give my regards to our brothers in arms, will you?”

✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨

praying that it waits for me (TWC): a fic about bumbling side character Douglas, which has had an amount of praise that still astounds and moves me, even two years later. i've read and reread every comment, tag, and little story folks have put on about accepting themselves and their queerness. i cannot tell you how much this piece means to me, and i am so humbled it resonated with so many friends and readers.

He starts gathering the threads. How this started, when he knew, why he hasn’t told his parents. Why he hasn’t told anyone. Where he plans to go from here. He knows the answers, but struggles to weave them into anything solid in his mind. He still has questions of his own, after all. His sexuality isn’t something he can put into bullet points, no matter how much easier that’d make this conversation. So he sits, swaying on the edge of his truth, still afraid of becoming.

✨ Something you want other people to see ✨

what i see in you, i hope you find in me (FFXIV): my favorite work for io and estinien so far tbh. io's shaky headspace during this portion of EnW was fun to navigate, and i am always pleased to write alisaie. balancing zenos and estinien as romantic foils during this part of her life is also 🥴

“He’s angry with me. I suppose that is his right. I shouldn’t have let them take you two.” Io grits her teeth, fighting against the knot of guilt that has resided in her stomach since the morning. Estinien is her friend, perhaps the closest she has here besides Alisaie. She understands him, so she can hardly blame him for being upset with her. They are family to him, Alphinaud, and Alisaie by extension. No less than they are to her. He has given Io little more than one-word responses since the twins were found. She may pretend otherwise, but his cold shoulder wounds her. “Oh, to hells with Estinien.” Alisaie waves a gloved hand dismissively in his direction. “He’ll get over it. Would he have you fire upon civilians while negotiating peace? He may love my brother like a… well, brother, but he must admit there was no ideal series of events to be had. We all did our best, and we all made it through.”

(spicy edition under the cut because i am 50% a smut writer after all)

✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨

flood (FFXIV): i actually really love this fic, it's spicy then it gets SO mushy. describing the position in a way that sounds hot and achievable was tough, ngl, but this is so so indicative of their intimate dynamic in general.

Already, the first threads of her climax quiver in her belly, pulled taut like a bow, like the curl of her back, as she anticipates the release to come. One move from Estinien, and she will shatter. He opens his eyes, hungrily surveying the twist of her body, enthralled by the lace framing her breasts. Io is so close, and can’t help herself. “You are adorable.” Estinien leans forward, arcing his body over hers. The ends of his unbound hair skim her shoulders and chest, featherlight touches in stark contrast to the stinging tug on her scalp. His lips brush Io’s in an intimation of a kiss, warm breath washing over her face and neck as he teases her with gentleness. “And you are already throbbing. When you come, I want to hear it, yes?”

✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨

too precious (blooming panic): uh. i wrote this out of spite because i hated the dom!toasty happenings LMAO. figuring out their sexual dynamic was a fun challenge. lots of blushing.

“I love how patient you’ve been, letting me take you in like this.” A real kiss, finally, and he sighs into her mouth. It kills him, not being able to rest his hands on her body, or run them through her hair. They twitch helplessly in the ties at either side of the bed, and Teddy kisses him harder to compensate.

✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨

in the light i thought i saw you (wayfarer): just filling in the blanks of ephyra's time with veyer at the gala. they are both SUCH little shits in this, it makes me laugh.

She touches their clit. The hitch of their breath is felt more than heard, and it’s Ephyra’s turn to laugh. “Oh?” Veyer’s head falls forward, cradled between her shoulder and neck, and Ephyra’s head spins again. Veyer is… strikingly vulnerable, more than she expected for a Guild Mage. They’re so open, too close. It’s almost uncomfortable. Almost. They grind against her palm, their own touch becoming erratic for a moment, before gently, firmly pulling her hand away. Did she do something wrong? They tsk a couple times, and a fresh grin pulls at their lips. “Not yet, Ephyra. I need both our focuses here-” They curl their fingers inside her to emphasize the point. “Be patient, dear.”

✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨

alma.mp4 (TWC): i love writing self-love smut but i'm always shocked when other people are into the way i write it LMAO.

“How do I taste, Mason?” She lifts her fingers, dripping and slick, to his mouth. The smirk parts and he takes them in with no hesitation. His tongue slides over them, between them, and Mason’s never been good at savoring. He devours. Eyes half-lidded like he might be a little drunk on her taste, he presses a wet kiss to her palm. His lips come away shining. “Better than blood, sweetheart.”

✨ Something you want other people to see ✨

something to talk about (FFXIV): idk i just think io should be allowed to be bossy sometimes and i think estinien would like it.

He removes his shirt while she unties his pants, pushing them past his hips. Candlelight dances across his skin and in his mussed hair. Io bites back the urge to tell him how beautiful he looks, cast in orange-gold light, already panting, barely holding onto the leash of his restraint. She strokes him with a deft hand, as familiar with his tells as he is with hers. The hitching breath, the white knuckle grip. This was his game, was it not? Io slides the tip of his cock into her cunt, then cups his chin. She murmurs against his lips, “come on, then.”

#tag game #also if you weren't tagged and want to do this PLEASE tag me #the way i had to FIGHT not to include wayfarer fic here for. friend reasons. #but ONE veffie piece slipped in because i love them. sorry anna SORRY #anyway i'm very sorry to put such a LONG post on your dash everyone #but you probably know me by now--i never shut up #reading through my stuff for this was half 'oh this is cringe' and half 'omg this slaps' #i also feel kind of weird for having a swf section and a spicy section but i would be doing myself a disservice by excluding those T^T

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I saw you post about Seafarers, but to me, your finest work will always be Fifteen Notes to You, reread all of it the other day and... yeah, it still hits like a fucking bullet train.

I genuinely don't think it's possible to capture Mono's descent into insanity better than you did here. It reminds me a little of The Last Weekend from the anthology Inside no.9, in that, you know, both from the story itself and the context it exists in, that it won't have a happy ending, but the humanization of the characters just forces you to cling to hope that something will go right. But that rarely, if ever, happens in The Nowhere.

FNTY... Now THAT'S a name I haven't heard in years...

Thank you so much!!!! I'm super grateful to see folks still enjoy my old stories :)it seems to be the general consensus even among my friends that FNTY is the best complete fic I've put out. Reading thru the comments, I remember one of a person who told me that it made them cry - and the comment made ME cry LMAOOOOOOO😭

I'm very proud of it myself as it was not only my first published fic, but my first multichaptered fic I ever completed as well. Though I am a slow writer (SEAFARERS CHAPTER 5 IS IN THE WORKS😭), for FNTY it was never because I had excessive trouble figuring out what to put on paper - especially never when in regards to the letters themselves. The most troubling parts were the in betweens, funnily enough.

Mono and Thin Man come very naturally to me when writing. I think it may be because I tend to interpret them as having very big feelings... like myself, I guess. And since the story itself is short, I suppose that I managed to make the thing itself feel like there are many big feelings in a tiny box. I will admit I got emotional myself a couple of times... then went on to edit like nothing was wrong LMAOOOO like this is how I looked writing and then editing vvv

For Seafarers, the emotional payoff has yet to come, and it will be different -- considering we have World's Most Emotionally Constipated Woman and Our Strongest Soldier (the PTSD has yet to hit because she's still actively experiencing the horrors) as the protagonists this time.

Six and the Lady are both considerably harder to write for me. I had my chance to write the Big Feeler at the very beginning because the stakes there were skyrocketing from the getgo, but now things have gotten considerably more... silent. The feelings are there but they're all kept in. OUGHHHHHHHHH

I also can't wait to introduce more stuff; I've been writing down concepts for shadow magic and powers, how the Maw works, the various things the Lady of the Maw has to look after to keep it afloat... and the Ladies. Look, I'll say that I'm really happy with what I'm doing with Teapot and Rascal. And with Teapot in general. I really like the characterization I pulled out of my ass LMAOOOOOO and the DESIGN... ok so I'm willing to share a couple of the Teapot's I've doodled

(She's genuinely very silly [read: sick in the head]... i gave all the Ladies some nice additional details because. Ik the point is that they all look very similar but I love designing outfits fuck it this is MY au i do what I want)

So right now I have a suspicion that Seafarers will hit better when it's finished and can be read from beginning to end. Since it's longer (I plan it to be... around 15 chapters? A bit longer if the events require it to be.), there will be more time to let the stuff brew until it reaches its climax as intended.

#carols.txt #Seafarers (Lady Mom AU) #ftny #my writing #{HELP IM SORRY YOU DID *NOT* ASK FOR ALL OF THIS #i went off the rails... #anyway. thank you SO much #so so much #all i can say is the grind never stops and i always strive to get better #seafarers is a different genre so i dont expect it to draw the same reactions out of people but im sure it #will find its crowd👹 #again off the rails but i remember peeps commenting that they liked my characterization of the Lady and that had me twirling my hair #giggling like omggg.... fr.... really... thank you! i know her personally and intimately #you could say carnally #HELP #shes so nice to me i would bake her the uncooked beans in the cans ... shes my baked bean (she's high) #INFKDKGMGH #someone send help for six because at this rate she'll lose her mind before the whole 《ladyfication》 process is even beginning}

[ncredwolf910910]

NCRedwolf910 I had her tied to the bed, her knees were tied to the headboard and footboard and pulled back spreading her legs.  I tied her hands over her head and to the opposite side of the bed.  She was completely open with her pussy at the edge of the bed and even her anus was exposed.  She had come over to play.  We had talked about the scene we were going to do.  The whole scene was teasing her, edging her until she was forced to use her safe-word to cum.  She was a good play partner and we always had fun. I had been teasing her for about 30 minutes using fingers, tongue, but had not gotten around to toys yet when the doorbell rang.  I ignored it but then it rang again about a minute later.  I was still dressed so I got up, kissed her on the lips and said, “ill be right back”. I had a bit of an evil grin when I said that.  It was the UPS guy with a package that needed to be signed for.  He knew by the type of package it was an addition to my antique collection.  He had been delivering to me for about five years now so he knew this was important to me.  It had become a bit of a tradition at this point to open the package so he could see the new piece.  I told him I had to be quick as I was in the middle of something. We cut the tape and got the new (old) piece out, spoke a few words and then I set it by the door. “got to go bro”. As I walked down the hall I heard a very familiar sound, she was cumming.  How on earth she had gotten lose I do not know but she had.  The door was also open which was odd as I was sure I had closed it behind me.  When I turned to enter the bedroom I was shocked.  She was still fully bound and my dog enthusiastically licking her.  Her head was pressed back into the mattress and her back was arched as she climaxed.   I stepped into the room and took him by his collar, pulling him a way. “Oh Hun, I am so sorry, I thought I had closed the door.  I am so sorry I will put him out”.“No, don’t’”, she said, “Wait? You did not plan that”? “No, I am sorry, that was not meant to happen”. Now I had more than a casual interest in this sort of play but that it happened I was more mortified because she and I had never talked about this.   “Don’t?,” I said. “Red”!  Red was her safe word, “Red, leave him, please, oh please.  I have wanted to do this for so long, leave him”. “I don’t understand”. “Oh god, I thought you knew and left the door on purpose.  I have wanted this for so long.  Let him go please”.  I let him go and I watched her as the dog licked her, she was staring at me, mouth open in a long “O”.  “Oh, I…. Am….”, she panted out, “I…. Am… Going to … Cum again”. She did, now the back of her head was pressed against the mattress and her arms were pulling on the ropes.  Her legs were shaking as the orgasm traveled through her whole body.  I moved to untie her, as I did the dog kept licking, hungry  and rapid. When I finally had her untied I pulled her up onto the bed.  The dog was on the floor sitting now no doubt wondering where his meal was going. 

"Oh, fuck”, she was semi limp as she said that, “Fuck, that was hot, you thought that up…  I never…Are you sure you didn’t plan that”? “No I did not”. “What? you mean you did not plan that”? “No, someone really was at the door and he just came in.  Are you ok”? Yes, I am more than ok", I was holding her, aftercare is extremely important.  I think booth of us were considering what had happened here, contemplating the ramifications. I felt a subtle change in her body, muscles tensed as she sat up, “Mmmmmmmmm.  I don’t care”, she said, “I liked it, oh good I loved it.  I had read stories before, but nothing was as good as the real thing”.   I had read stories myself, looked at videos and photos.  I thought it was hot but I never expected to meet someone that thought the same.  It was my ‘dirty secret’ so to say. She turned around, looking me in the eye.  “More”, her hand trailing down my stomach to my cock.  I had softened but as she touched it I started to grow back, then without even another word she undid my pants and she took me in her mouth and sucked.  It was just for a moment; she was in semi-submissive role again but the role where she knew what she wanted.   

[incomingalbatross]

DWJ questions: Did you read The Game? Archer’s Goon? Do her books feel unfinished at times? First drafts rather than final?

To the first two questions: yes and yes!

To the second two questions: ...mostly no, but I think I see what you're getting at.

A few of her books—The Game included—did leave me going "wait, we're done already??" Because she covers a lot of ground. Some of her books have so many things going on and being revealed over the course of the story that I'm like "wait, slow down, can't we spend more time exploring this?"

But that doesn't strike me as feeling like a draft—I think it's just how she wanted to tell those stories. She resolves every thread she sets up, which isn't easy! :P In The Game, for instance, I would have loved more time in the mythosphere, and a modern book would probably have spent more time there and used considerably more pages to tell the same story. (Honestly, in today's fantasy market, I can easily see that plot getting bulked out into two or three books.) But the story didn't need more time or pages to be told. So the places where she glances over things feel more like a stylistic decision than a flaw to me.

That said, I do get some of that "unfinished" or at least "unresolved" feeling with more of her books, and I think that's because she often wasn't interested in wrap-up. Some of her books have epilogues or other closing scenes after all the action, but sometimes they just...keep going until the end of the plot, and then abruptly drop the curtain. And if you've had a very quick-moving climax, that can be disorienting. (As I said in a post yesterday, I like it when the characters have wrap parties. :P)

I'd put Howl's Moving Castle in this category—everyone is saved, Howl and Sophie are holding hands, everyone resolves the remaining plot threads around them in dialogue (which they are not paying attention to), and then Calcifer returns, tying up the reader's one remaining concern. And it ends right there. No more lines.

So...I think she's good at plotting, and the stories we get are the stories she wanted to tell. But I would say that some of her books' final scenes, as final scenes, don't conclude so much as just stop.

#a kind of feeling like 'the story is finished so the storytelling stops here' #...and of course part of my unfinished feeling might just be that i want to see more. like the cool parts in the middle (eg mythosphere) #i want to keep going with cat and janet through the aftermath of charmed lives! which is definitely not the sign of *weak* storytelling #but this thing about endings IS something i noticed when reading through her books #idk #asks #brambleberrycottage #anyway thank you for asking! :)

[anhed-nia]

I never thought I'd find myself saying something like this, but I'm really glad I watched True Blood before I saw INFINITY POOL. In fact I never really intended to watch True Blood at all, but my husband and I started putting it on while preparing dinner/waiting for takeout/etc, and before we knew it we'd seen the whole thing. Sure it's dumb and sappy and doesn't totally go anywhere, but it benefits from a great cast of talented people who share a palpable sense of camaraderie that elevates the show above the strength of its content. There's a real feeling of fun that runs through True Blood, and certainly the fact that it it's so deliberately shameless saves it from being as pretentious and overbearing as a lot of premium platform dramas tend to become… But what I wanted to say is that Alexander Skarsgård is really great in it. He differentiates himself from the show's teeming hoard of alpha hunks by demonstrating a strong sense of his own camp value, which is something that not many certified Beautiful People seem to develop in my opinion. Standing at almost 6'5" and sculpted like a statue, Skarsgård has cultivated a kittenish smolder that lends a touch of irony to his macho glamor, and even though he was a romantic lead on True Blood, this quality of his helped keep the show funny, which was critically important to its being really watchable. If I had been introduced to Skarsgård in a more traditional setting that offered him up as more of a normie leading man, I might have balked; maybe it's a me-problem, but Hot People are always sort of guilty until proven innocent in my mind. Luckily, I have discovered that Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård is actually really cool, and he's the perfect person to lead Brandon Cronenberg's rich failson thriller about tourism at the end of the world.

It's especially helpful to have such a suitable star in INFINITY POOL, because the movie is more interesting than it is good. It's basically METROPOLITAN by way of Tarkovsky, with Skarsgård as a smug, obtuse fish out of water who becomes the unwitting plaything of a bunch of wealthy perverts on vacation. The specific means by which the pervs exploit the tourism industry in an impossibly far-flung corner of the world is wonderfully original, and their escalating crime spree is pretty thrilling, but the movie remains sort of half-baked, full of fun ideas that come from and go to nowhere in particular. For instance, the fabulous masks you see in the trailer, and right at the beginning of the movie, are so startling that I had told myself an entire story about their significance by the time I realized that they're nothing more than an aesthetic gesture; throughout the movie, you're teased with the idea that the world outside the gated vacation resort is full of danger, toxicity, and discontent, but ultimately there is no exploration of what that's all about. I was also left with the sense that the story doesn't really have an ending, which is frustrating because I noticed several points where I thought there could be a big climax (huh huh), and yet the movie just sort of chugs along until it runs out of gas. Oh well. In the meantime it's pretty and provocative, and it has stuck with me even though I wasn't completely satisfied with it at the time of viewing.

In any case I'm delighted by what Brandon Cronenberg is doing, I can't believe I'm lucky enough to live in a time of two Cronenbergs, and I wish Brandon all the continued success in the world, because it only benefits me every time he releases a movie.

PS Mia Goth's thing about "failing naturally" is just killing me, she's hilarious, I can't stop thinking about it. I MUST HAVE THE BUN CHOP!

#infinity pool #true blood #brandon cronenberg #alexander skarsgård #not blogtober

[autumnslance]

Character opinion bingo: Venat?

Venat my beloved.

I almost got a bingo but I wouldn't cheat to do it. Mom wouldn't like that. Some of the answers are a little tongue-in-cheek regardless and those adoption papers are for me, thanks.

Venat is an older, complex woman character who is cool, capable, fun, and makes difficult, morally complicated choices just like so many popular male characters do.

(Of course it spawns discourse and grousing as opposed to the heart-eyes-blorbo-screaming the male characters get when they are and do all of those things, but at this point who doesn't expect that?)

There were a lot of people who wanted to distrust and dislike Hydaelyn/Venat; some due to conflating another Final Fantasy game's lore with FFXIV's, some due to cynicism and expectations built up by so much grimdark, edgy, shock-twist storytelling overwhelming the Fantasy genre (not to mention real life) for the last 40 years or so. But that isn't the story being told, especially since the shift in writing leads and the patterns laid out in Shadowbringers and Endwalker for the climax of the Primals' story.

Anyway. Venat is another who exemplifies Ancient Arrogance. She's older than most of her people, old enough to retire from the Convocation and still feel she had something to contribute to the world, that her duty wasn't done, but she wasn't sure what that was, until meeting a time-traveling adventurer.

Even then, she wondered what could make her turn on her dear friends, colleagues, students, in the Convocation. To break the world she loved. And when she found the answer to that question, it nearly broke her heart.

Midgardsormr survived his flight across the Rift only because of the love and hope he held for his eggs. I think the only reason Venat survived for all those millennia as the Heart of Hydaelyn was due to her love and hope she held for the continuing world and people the Warrior of Light represented, in the hope of closing the loop and making Meteion understand (because it's not destroy her; it's "teach her a new song"). Venat waited all that time waiting for our answer, the last she needed to see her duty finally done.

Because she had promised, and she doesn't promise lightly. Not someone as world-wise and powerful as her; she knows better than to be frivolous with her words.

Venat schemed, she plotted, she directed, and in the end she made terrible, impossible choices both because she'd been told they would be made, and because they were in reaction to other terrible, impossible choices; and when she saw the reasons, she made her decisions to see those choices through. In the belief that breaking her world and her people was the way to save them. Hoping that in the end, mortals could succeed where their immortal forebears had failed.

She gets her rest finally, escaping the cycle of constant rebirth in her understanding and acceptance of the fate she was beholden to help shape. That is its own victory.

I've said before: she earns her ego as much as any old man wizard mentor in Fantasy ever has. And she's malms better than most of them in how and why she does all that she does to manipulate and help the WoL and ensure our plan succeeds before we even know our part of it, to save one small bird in order to save the universe entire.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Lyn Prompts #Venat #Hydaelyn #Endwalker #6.0 Spoilers #memes #character bingo #character analysis

[ddwcaph-game]

Giveaway Prompt #1

Hello everyone!

I know it's been a while since the giveaway ended, but I only got the inspiration recently to work on some of the personalized prompts, and I didn't want to share anything that I'm unhappy with.

The prompt I received was: Patrick attempts to confess his feelings to Raven (his crush) but something interrupts him before he can.

So far, Raven only appears if you don't snoop on Lily when you visit the library, but I do want her to appear at least one more time in Chapter 4 during Roselyna's birthday. It's been a looong while since I last wrote from Patrick's POV, but I hope you all like it! 😊

"Huy, Theo!" Raven says, nudging me back to reality. "Blink twice if you can hear me."

C'mon, Patrick. That's like the third time you zoned out now, and I don't even know if I want her to get any ideas. With a sigh, I finally give her a lingering look, half-contemplating whether I should blink, and half-admiring her teasing smile.

She raises her eyebrows.

Crap. Nope, I can't do it when she's looking at me like that. And so I admit defeat. I let out a soft chuckle and blink twice. Quickly, not slowly—maybe I don't want her to get any ideas.

"What're you thinking about again, huh?"

You, I say. Or at least, the voice in my head does. But as much as I want to say that, I just can't bring myself to do it. "What, can't you guess?"

"Our science project? Your cousins…? Oh wait, that story you're writing! Yeah, yeah, don't think I've forgotten about it."

Not exactly, but I guess it is true in some ways. I just give her a smile and gaze across the library, absentmindedly tapping my pen as I enjoy the silence (with the occasional coughing in the distance) with her. It's not very often we get a vacant period with not much to do.

"Are you ever gonna let me read it?"

"I told you when it's finished," I say almost instinctively. "But… I'm kinda stuck on something." And that time, I say almost regrettably.

"Well, maybe I could help if you let me read it." Raven rolls her eyes and moves her seat a little closer. Maybe a little too close for comfort, and yet I can't help but lean closer ever so slightly. "Come on, it's not like I'd tell anyone else. You know I won't do that."

Except, that's not even the problem. There's no way I'd confess to her in the library. Nope nope nope. I close my eyes for a moment, and pretend to think hard—which I am! But for an entirely different reason. There's no way she'd know what I'm thinking right now, right? I don't blush. And I almost wish I do.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell her. I just need to make it sound like…

"I mean, it's tempting," she continues. "But I've seen you angry when someone hurts your cousins, so…"

I lean away from her in fake annoyance. "Raven naman eh! D'you want me to tell you or not?"

"Fine, fine, I'll stay quiet." She grins. "I really do wanna hear it," she adds in a whisper.

Welp, I backed myself to this corner now. Great job, me. You could've at least waited until dismissal to mention it so I could make an excuse and run off to fetch my cousins, as corny as that is. "Alright, so the MC is really confused about… something, and he wants to tell someone… something." Wow, great. Very helpful. "I—I can't tell. It's spoilers."

"Confused about what?" She asks with a smile, propping her head up on the table with a hand. If she wasn't smiling teasingly before, she definitely is now. "His feelings…?"

"Y… yeah? Well, if you're writing a story, do you let the character do what you think they're gonna do, or do you let them do what's best for the plot?" That's a good question, right? Yeah. Hopefully that satisfies her curiosity. And I'm technically not lying.

"Depends what the plot is exactly? Is this during the climax or what?"

Oh, it's definitely the climax. Or the darkest hour if I screw this up. But before I can answer, my unsaid prayers are granted as a deus ex machina comes to save me.

"Kuya Paddy! Ate Raven!" We hear two voices shouting whispers from behind us.

I don't even need to turn around. And soon enough, I feel a hug wrap around me from behind.

"Rosie!" I chuckle as I snuggle the delightful chubby little girl closer.

Raven gives Wayne's hair a quick ruffle and pinches his cheeks. "Ohh, what brought you two cuties here?"

"Well…" Wayne's cheeky grin disappears from my view as he sits down beside Raven. "It's a secret."

Roselyna unentangles herself from me. A little surprising and disappointing she ended the cuddle earlier than usual, but she bounces off to whisper something to Wayne as they give us both a smiling glance. We patiently wait for them to finish whatever they're... scheming, when Roselyna puffs her cheeks at us. "Um, heehee. Is it okay if we leave Tommy and our bags here? We're just gonna go look at some books!"

"Uh, yeah!" Wayne readily agrees.

"Of course," I say. "No problem. We got nothing to do here anyway."

"Yay, let's go!" Roselyna whisper-shouts, glancing at me one more time as she pulls her bestfriend into who knows where. Well, whatever their secret is, it can't be as bad as my own secret. Right?

"So… Very convenient, ha?" Raven smirks. "C'mon, are you actually gonna tell me about the plot or your MC?"

I glance at the little goobers once more, smiling as they disappear behind the shelves, much like my cousins. Much like Raven and I did when we were younger. "You know what… I think I figured it out."

Raven sighs, dusting off a speck of dust from Roselyna's penguin stroller bag. "I knew it. This better be really good if you're keeping me and Tommy in suspense this long."

I finally meet her eyes again, the first time since Wayne and Roselyna saved me from embarrassment. "Don't worry. When I let you read it, you'll know why."

#ddwcaph #dear diary we created a plot hole #raven #wayne #roselyna #shorts #prompts #paddy

[mjgauthor]

How I Got a Book Deal

How I Got a Book Deal

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” ― Winston S. Churchill.

Twenty years. That’s how long I’ve been writing. I started writing my first real book when I was in high school, and for nine years, I refused to give up on it. I spent hours devising the world, creating maps, and drawing characters. All good practice, but I didn’t spend nearly enough time writing it. And though I didn’t want to admit it, I knew something was wrong with my writing. Like, imagine recording yourself playing a musical instrument. Even if you’ve practiced for a few years, you’d know it didn’t compare to a professional. I remember being in awe of how easily Rowling, or Card, or Rothfuss navigated telling a compelling story while simultaneously building powerful characters and creating vivid descriptions. My writing was a stick-figure drawing compared to their Sistine Chapel.

Still, I’m a stubborn Gregson. We’re all stubborn. And I wanted a go at landing a literary agent. So, I agonizingly prepared querying materials for this book. But the week before I planned on sending it to anyone, I got a feeling after lots of pondering and prayer. And the feeling told me to let it go.

So, I did. 

The book went into the figurative drawer, and I doubt I’ll ever go back to it. Honestly, letting it go was the best thing to happen to my writing. That book was like taking care of someone very ill for so long that you forgot to care for yourself.

After I let it go, my writing skill exploded. I got quicker, too. I wrote multiple books over the next several years until finally, after my sixth book, I landed my agent, Heather Cashman. And that day, telling people that I was an agented author was my proudest writing accomplishment.

Until now.

My agent and I went through revisions. Our plan was to take the book from good to great and so she gave me detailed editorial notes. After a few months of digesting these, I realized the book required an even larger revision. So, I rewrote the first hundred pages, then the last hundred. And I heavily revised the middle. I shifted the tense. Adjusted character motivation. Killed an important character who survived the original version. The climax completely changed—the ending, too. In the next five months, the book that used to be DOWNFALL became SKY’S END.

Something about this book felt right. So, when I sent it to my agent, I felt confident. Well, a little nervous, too.

Not long after I sent it to her, Heather came to Salt Lake City for a wedding. We met over lunch to discuss my career while eating chicken souvlaki and pita bread at a local restaurant. And she was absolutely dripping with enthusiasm for SKY’S END. She loved all the changes. We just had a few more minor revisions to do, and then in August 2021, we went on submission to find a publisher.

My agent warned me that it would be difficult—but she would do all she could to sell it.

The first editor responses came back within days. One of them came from a great editor and it was filled with compliments, calling my writing “remarkably vivid” and that my world was “lush” and that I crafted “a wonderfully immersive narrative.” The editor passed, as it wasn’t a perfect fit for her list, but her enthusiasm got me excited enough to think maybe SKY’S END was the one. 

Then, I sat back, and waited, hoping we’d hear some great news in the coming months. Except, that’s not what happened. I heard nothing for the rest of 2021.

I pushed the book from my mind and occupied myself with other projects in the meantime, including completing my eighth book and revising my seventh. Then, on January 18th, Heather announced a book deal on Twitter for another client. I sent a congratulatory email to Heather, but I got an email back that made me sit down. It wasn’t just a thank you note. Heather also mentioned that an editor just reached back to her and asked if SKY’S END was still available.

This was, she noted, a very good sign, and that my book might make it to acquisitions at the publisher.

I remember staring at the email, perplexed. Like, I only expected her to respond with “Thanks!” Instead, I got the biggest news I’d had since my agent offered me. So, I went a little wild because this had been a dream of mine since I was sixteen. Even twenty years later, I still vividly remember working on my first book on the dining room table, labeling maps of fantasy lands and drawing illustrations of the characters I wanted to bring to life.

After this email, my wife and I speculated about all the possible scenarios with this publisher and editor.

What could happen? 

1. Editor fell out of love – REJECTED.

2. Editor fell in love but couldn’t get editorial team to fall in love too – REJECTED

3. Editor and editorial team loved it, but publisher didn’t – REJECTED

My wife and I were careful when discussing the possibility that this could be anything other than a rejection. Either way, we hunkered down and expected it to be a long wait. A month or two, maybe. But that’s not what happened. Apparently, twenty years had been long enough. A week after my agent told me of the editor’s interest, I got another email from Heather on January 25th.

I was teaching my 7th period ELA class. One thing about me as a teacher is I’ve always been very transparent with my students about the number of rejections I’ve received during my journey. I don’t share rejection specifics with my students, but I do tell them about how hard I’ve worked and the value of perseverance. It’s a good lesson. My classes have chanted “I can do hard things!” Sometimes, I chant that louder than anyone in the room because I need to convince myself that I really can do hard things. When you’ve received hundreds of rejections while querying several books, some doubt creeps in.

Anyway, I got an email while I was in the middle of 7th period. I’m not in the habit of checking my phone while I’m teaching, but I couldn’t help myself because I was hoping to hear back from Heather. Sure enough, the email was from her.

Subject: The shortest wait you’ve ever seen…

Message: Hi Marc,

We’ve received an offer today for SKY’S END.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I stared at the message for a few seconds—almost like I couldn’t comprehend it. Was my agent writing in some ancient, dead language? Was it English? It didn’t make sense. Then, suddenly, I let out a little groan. One of my students glanced back at me and gave me a funny look.

And then I shouted, “OH MY GOSH!”

The whole class stopped working with their partners and stared at me. I was in a daze. Nothing felt real. Was my heart still beating? Honestly, I’m not exactly sure what happened next as this moment is a little hazy. I think I moved to the front of the classroom—panting, and my students were worrying that I was having a heart attack or something. I lowered into a chair, I think, and leaned on my knees. One of my students later told me my face had turned bright purple, and a vein was bulging on my forehead.  

They probably thought I was dying. Oh no, Mr. Gregson’s gonna fall over dead in front of his whole class. Who knows CPR? Get the admin in here! Does this mean we don’t have to do the book report?

Finally, I took a breath, and told my students.

And I remember this because the class erupted with cheers and claps. It was the great roar on the third floor. The loudest my room has ever been. My students were all so incredibly happy for me.

Suffice to say, we didn’t get much work done for the remainder of the class period.

This moment was, without a doubt, one of the best feelings of my life. And I’m so happy I got to share it with my students because they’ll never forget it. I know I won’t. Honestly, it felt like I just drained a three pointer to win the NBA championship.

Getting cheered for a book deal…man, kids are the absolute best.

I’m so thrilled to say I’ll be working with Jonah Heller at Peachtree Teen. He just gets my work and has a great vision for it in the marketplace. And I’m so grateful for my agent, Heather, who pushed me to make my book better and who found the absolute perfect landing place for SKY’S END. 

I can’t wait for you to read my book, and to meet Conrad. This book is the culmination of twenty years of frustration. It has energy, power, and lots and lots of adrenaline. I’m hoping you read it, and I hope you fall in love with it as much as I have. I just can’t wait to hear your reactions.

SKY’S END is but a piece of me. A piece that will be published, and no one can ever take that away.

Spring 2024 cannot come soon enough.

-Marc

#debut author #traditional publishing #debut novel #book announcement #ya fantasy #fantasy #ya author #ya scifi #ya science fiction

[duhragonball]

I shoulda got in on that Dracula thing everybody's doing, but I just haven't had the time. I wanted to read the novel this year anyway, but I don't know when I'll get to it.

I did read The Vampyre and Carmilla last month, because those came first, and I feel compelled to try to get in on the ground floor. They didn't impress me much, though, so I'm pretty sure this is why Dracula is the one they did all the movies about, and why Coca Cola started putting him on soda cans every December. Wait.

The Vampyre sucks, and not in the fun way. I knew I was in trouble when much of the introduction is devoted to explaining how it was based on an unfinished poem by Lord Byron. He didn't write the short story, but the guy who did write it got permission from Byron to expand the thing, and it's pretty clear that he understood Byron's name would be the big draw. It's told like a dull campfire ghost story, where 80% of it is a lengthy setup about the protagonist noticing Lord Ruthven sure is acting weird, and then he finally figures it out, but he's too horrified to explain it, and he knows no one will believe him when he warns his sister is going to be marrying A VAMPYRE! That's literally how the story ends, with "A VAMPYRE" in all caps, like it's some crazy plot twist. It might have been more effective if the title of the story hadn't given it away. As it is, you go in expecting cool vampire shit, and they make you wait for it.

Carmilla operates the same way, but it's better about setting the mood. The title character is mysterious and weird, and she kind of works whether you know her secret or not. Even so, two-thirds of the book is the protagonist wondering what Carmilla's deal is and why she's been sick lately, and finally a friend of the family shows up and tells them he had the same thing happen in his hometown after he took in a young girl with the same description named Mircalla. Then it's pretty much a straight shot to destroying Carmilla and disposing of her body, so not much suspense there.

I get the sense that these 19th century stories were counting on their audience being easily surprised. They introduce the folklore, and give hints that the superstitions were real all along, and yet it's still presented like this insane reversal. Lisa Simpson put it best "Maybe people were easier to scare back then."

The big thing that irks me about Carmilla is that no one really has any agency in the story. The main character is curious about her new bestie but never gets to investigate. Her father seems to have some suspicions, but they're never pursued until their friend shows up and explains the whole thing to them. From there, everyone's course of action is obvious. They need to destroy the vampire, and they know exactly how to do it. The only missing piece was the revelation of Carmilla's secret, which is just handed to the main cast.

What would have helped is if there had been some sense of conflict to the story. If Carmilla had some sense of remorse for her manipulations, or if Laura was uncertain about destroying Carmilla. They were close friends (or perhaps more than that), but it plays no role in the climax of the story. It would have been neat if Carmilla asked Laura to protect her, or if she offered to make Laura a vampire too so they could run off together. Laura would refuse, I think, but at least she would get to make a decision, or feel a twinge of regret for her choice.

Anyway, it sounds like Dracula's a better story, so I'm looking forward to it.

[inapat17]

A subjective collection of film score composers (1/4): Pino Donaggio's Italian lyrism

This article is the first of four dealing with film music composers. It will be a personal cinema journey through composers I love, with the desire to introduce you to their work and also the films they composed for. Each time I will first deal with a short biography of the composer and then I will propose some focus on films and collaborations with directors.

So, for the opening I wanted to write about Pino Donaggio.

Born in Burano, in Italy, he started a career as a singer-songwriter after classical studies and is mainly known for "Io che non vivo (senza te)". Traduced "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" it was sung by Dusty Springfield and Elvis Presley. I started to compose for cinema with Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now, which took place in Venice, where he is from. His work renders accurately Venice's magnificence aura but also its atmosphere in winter, foggy and labyrinthine (as opposed to David Lean's showing of Venice in Summertime). But more than anything, it plays a part in inscribing the film in the Giallo genre, which designates a type of film, mostly Italian, mixing thriller, horror and eroticism in their plots.

Don't Look Now, Nicolas Roeg (1973)

I discovered him through his collaboration with Brian De Palma on two films: Carrie and Blow Out.

Released in 1976, Carrie adapts to the screen Stephen King's eponymous first novel from 1974. It comes with Carrie White, a teen who is a scapegoat at her high school. A day after a gym class, she discovers she is bleeding: her mother, a religious extremist, never told her about it. She is mocked by her classmates, who humiliate her violently. From then, a series of events follows, Carrie slowly discovering she has telekinesis powers. But De Palma's treatment of King's novel is rather more focused on Carrie's tragedy of existence than horror. Therefore Pino Donaggio's theme for the opening credits - which is also Carrie's theme, is delicate and smooth, as the camera goes through a cloakroom in slow motion. The prom scene is the very climax of the film. The music "Bucket of Blood" accompanies the suspense, a very Hitchcockian notion: the spectator sees the bucket on a joist and Carrie's joy, waiting for the moment it will be reversed. The scene image is in slow motion until what had to happen happens. This deed triggers Carrie's anger and her telekinetic powers: through a split screen, we see her eyes controlling the shutting of doors and opening of the fire hoses. Inspired by Bernard Hermann's work for Hitchcock, each action is underlined by a similar use of strings as in Psycho.

Carrie, Brian de Palma (1976)

After Carrie, Donaggio collaborated with De Palma on Pulsions, Blow Out and Body Double. Blow Out, released in 1981, is in between two films marked by a new aspect in De Palma's cinematography: eroticism. It tells the story of Jack, a sound technician who, while recording sound effects in a park, witnesses an accident which, through his recording, might be an assassination. Like most of De Palma's films from the eighties, there is a strong referential. Here, it is mostly a tribute to the film Blow Up, directed by Michelangelo Antonioni in 1966. Indeed, it is almost the same plot, except that the protagonist is a photographer (among other differences). Blow Out is both a drama and a thriller, and the themes composed by Donaggio render these two tenses. The main theme resumes strings and piano to create a gentle soundtrack, suggesting Jack’s love for Sally.

Blow Out, Brian de Palma (1981)

Thus we can say it is an interesting collaboration, since Donaggio, through its music, really complements De Palma’s mannerist and formalist cinematography as well as self-reflective and transtextual way of making films at that time, referring to his compositions but also Bernard Herrman’s soundtracks.

Playlist

#Laura Chollet

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Decided to finally revisit Harry Potter after all these years, considering that I was definitely a Potter Kid growing up and still have the books in hardback and the films in a nice boxset ((I should emphasize that these were obtained years before Rowling showed her true colors, with the books being something I obtained as a kid over the course of years))

See, I discovered the books when I was 10. Kind of funny, considering that that's nearly the age Harry starts as in the story.

I remember the exact moment, actually: 2000, 5th Grade, after recess, my teacher, Mr. "K", decided to introduce a new feature to the day, being that he'd read us a bit of this book, "Sorcerer's Stone", at first up to the next page break, and eventually just a chapter, or until something significant happens enough to be a cliffhanger.

This is a bit of a story in itself, actually... Something that spans about seven years, actually

After a month, I got impatient with how long it was taking to get to what I was sure would be the epic climax to this build up, so I put my name in the library to check out a copy, and wow, these books were popular so there was a few weeks to wait to borrow it. The school library, as I remember clearly, was decked out in cute frog decor, top to bottom, because the librarian loved frogs, so was the waiting list and the pen I wrote my name down with.

I was somehow given a bit of a bump up in the wait because I was a regular visitor of the library, due to not much liking the recess period outside on account of being horrible at sports ((I'd find out years later that my lack of depth perception isn't actually normal and glasses probably should have been sooner)), and I didn't like encountering bullies or how loud it was, but the library was quiet and safe. I got the first book after waiting two weeks at least, and immediately got started on reading it, breezing through the first chapters Mr. K already read us and past it clean up to the end by the end of the night. Then I read it again. I absolutely loved it, and was eager to read the next part.

Mr. K had barely gotten to the midpoint of reading it to the class, but I remember feeling so cool about knowing how this book ended and kept telling my classmates that they're gonna have to wait until he finishes reading it to us, or borrow the book after me. I was so excited to start the second book.

At the time, only the first four books were out, and the movie has barely been announced after I had finished the second book. I remember seeing an article on the USA Today newspaper front page about adapting the book to film, with a promotional image of Daniel Radcliffe in full color. I was visiting my birth mother in another state, so it was at the hotel I was staying at with my Gramma, who would later adopt me.

That year for my 11th birthday, I received the first three books, hardback, with those lovely colorful dust jackets. The first movie came out into theaters, but I wouldn't get to see it until my teacher got a copy later that year on tape to run for the class during a class party, and my best friend at the time, from another classroom, was there. I remember laughing so hard that I snorted root beer out my nose, at her saying "Oh, God, don't tell me he's going to sing!" at the part where Harry is sitting in the window of his dorm.

I wanted a copy of the movie too, but gosh, even back then, newly released filmed on home media were a bit much. $20 for a VHS to keep? Yeah, remember those? The first two movies were released on tape, how crazy is that??

My next birthday was my 12th. I remember that my great-grandmother, who always made it a bit of a point to show how much she disliked me and how she didn't like my disabilities and that I was not her favorite and she'd always dote on my brother and cousin ((who would eventually be like a brother to me)) more in front of me, slap me when no one else was looking, and even once told my Gramma to send me back to child services because I wasn't what she expected... I remember that she got me the VHS and DVD of the first movie that year. Wrapped it up in a nice gift bag that was blue and gold themed and branded with a Harry Potter image, yellow tissue paper peeking out of the top. She told me that she loved me, too, and gave me a rare hug.

She died a few months later from a black mold infection. Maybe the mold was why she was so mean and making up things about what she thought I did wrong all the time...

I would watch the VHS tape all the time on my junky little old TV and VCR plugged into it, which happened to be two things she got me on my first Thanksgiving with my then-now family, which was three years before. I didn't have a DVD player, and the only way to watch DVDs in our how was on the family computer, which was a Compaq Presario, I believe. At the time, there was this DVD, and a copy of Shrek, so my brothers and I didn't use that feature often.

I discovered that the DVD's second disc has some cool features you could only get by popping it into the computer, such as some upcoming Harry Potter video game demos ((this was 2002, don't expect anything spectacular by today's standards)), and our built-in-microphone meant I could utilize the voice commands that were supposed to be immersive. Say "Take me to Hogwarts!" and the disc would open the page for the Harry Potter forums in this nice parchment style web browser.

This is where I discovered fanfiction, and let me tell you earnestly, I did not understand it right away and 12 year old me wondered when exactly in the series did Malfoy and Hermione start making out because I did not remember that for sure in the books. Yes, I stumbled on a Dramione story as my first experience with fanfiction, and oh my God, I noped right out of there because this is also where I learned about the phrase "Steamy Lemons" and I felt like I found something I shouldn't have. 😳

I still have that particular DVD, although the special function is no longer supported, and I'm pretty sure the discs have subjected to disc rot now, and I've since replaced them with a nice boxset of the entire film series, obtained long before the author started to be problematic in the open. I don't think I can really feel like throwing out that old DVD, because it was the last thing I got from my great-grandmother that I wanted desperately to like me just like the other grandkids.

I had never even told her that I liked the series or that I wanted the movie, but somehow, she knew that I was interested in this series and went through the effort of getting the movie on both available formats at the time. That wasn't cheap back then. She never bought movies for anyone. She hated technology, hated magic stuff, hated anything that wasn't traditional Depression Era values... But she made really good banana pudding with strawberries that is such a positive memory marker for my siblings and I, because the pudding always meant it was a good day with her and we'd do something fun, like go to the beach or the park or something like that...

By the time I was 13, I used my allowance money to buy a copy of Goblet of Fire at the mall, and it was a funny misprint that had the embossing a little off on the dust jacket, which was very distinct. I carried that book around in my backpack a lot because it was my new favorite after reading Prisoner of Azkaban so much that I'd actually split the spine and had to tape it back together to keep the pages in the book. I'd read the fourth book almost as much as I read Lord of the Rings ((my copy of the first one of that was already an old old copy, but it also split apart, but it was a softback book, so that happens I guess)).

I remember one of my vocabulary words for my 7th grade English class was "gnarled" and I immediately remembered the description of Mad-Eye Moody's hands and flipped open my book to show my teacher that I could show a perfect example of the word in use. She was impressed that I knew the exact page to find it, considering that GoF is a rather large book and the specific word I was looking for was honestly not that spectacular. Actually, this is probably one of those moments that should have told everyone I was autistic, now that I think about it. I did a recreation of the GoF cover on the sidewalk with chalk once while I was bored during a yardsale we were having. It caught some attention and ended up getting more people to stop by.

Some kids who were bullying me got ahold of my backpack that week, spilled out all the contents on the ground ((SoCal schools don't have closed hallways, it's outdoors)), and threw some stuff in a nearby tree, including my copy of GoF, which landed in a way that caught the pages.

The tree was too thin to climb, but too tall to reach everything by myself, because I was rather short before puberty finally hit in my last years of school, and no one stopped to help me as I grabbed my empty backpack and started swinging it to knock my stuff back down. My book was in poor condition, in which the dust jacket was torn from the bark, the edges of some pages were frayed, some pages were creased terribly, and the rough texture of the tree had left gouges on the cover.

I was so upset that someone ruined something of mine again, and no one around there even bothered to help me. I was late to class and the only reason I wasn't in trouble was that the teacher noticed that I was carrying all my stuff in my arms, dumped them all at my desk and started doing damage control with all the leaves, twigs, bark, dirt and bugs, while trying miserably not to cry. The words were alright in the book, but the condition of it now looked horrible and careless. Dirt stained the cover under what was left of the dust jacket, and the cool misprint of a sleeve it was was completely ruined.

I got the fifth book with some Christmas money when I was about 15, and bought it on a trip from out of town, and couldn't read it until we got home because I get carsick really easily, so I had to wait four hours to finally crack that book open, unless I wanted to puke all over it. This installment quickly became my favorite, I loved the color of the dust jacket so much, and this story just felt so much more mature and had higher stakes. It still remains my favorite book in the series to this day, and my favorite part is where Harry finally breaks after all this and trashes Dumbledore's office, screaming, while Dumbledore calmly lets him. It's honestly such a powerful scene and well deserved.

At this time, the third movie was in theaters. On a day where I was taken to Mom's work for the day because I was on break and I was bored at being home alone all day. I had brought my OotP book to read at her desk and her coworkers noticed that it was Harry Potter and asked her if she was planning on taking me to the new movie, which she hadn't even known it was out and we usually didn't go to the theater anyway. They all convinced her to just go ahead and take me there after her shift was over, and we did. She was rather confused about the plot because the movies take a bit out, but she could tell that I was enjoying it.

I got the sixth book on a trip to the mall, when it was still newly released, not too long after my 16th birthday. My other cousin somehow managed to trick me into letting them read it with me and somehow got me to agree to not reading too far ahead of them, and they took this as an opportunity to mess with me by purposely leaving me stuck on pages for days one end. My Mom ((oh, yeah, my Gramma adopted me when I was 13, so she's now my mom at this point, I should have said that earlier)) eventually noticed that I hadn't finished the book at my usual pace, asked me what happened, and realized that I'd been duped again by taking something literally and me being far too nice to dispute it ((again, really should have been obvious that I was autistic)). So she bought my cousin a copy and told them not to do that to me again, and gave me the okay to continue reading, which I did so eagerly.

Not exactly my favorite entry, but learning more about Snape was great. Losing Dumbledore was certainly a highlight of my first taste of true fan angst.

The final book, I got for free from the library after having been a Junior Librarian practically the entire time I was in high school. We had gotten a shipment of several copies to put into the library system, and I got to open the book. I remember oohing and awwing at the sight of the cover, and saying how I couldn't wait to get a copy when I had enough in my allowance jar to visit the bookstore. I was told that I get to keep one for free as a reward for all the work I'd done with keeping the school library so organized and tidy, which just sent me over the moon. I couldn't wait to get home to show Mom my luck.

Mom had to laugh, because she'd just bought me a copy that was meant to be a Christmas gift later that year that was going to be stashed away until then. She brought the copy down from her closet, held it up and we both laughed while she said that she's going to take it back to the shop and find me something else instead, since she figured that the free gifted one would be more special anyway.

I don't think I've said yet that Remus Lupin was my favorite character. I had an action figure toy of him even. I quite like werewolves, and Lupin was such a nice character with a great significance to Harry.

I'm sure you remember what happened to him in the final book. All the other character deaths before were sad, yes, like, I definitely sniffled a little over Sirius, Hedwig and Dobby, and still hadn't quite processed Dumbledore at the time... But Lupin was the one that caught me off guard.

I reacted by going back to rereading certain chapters of OotP over and over again because at least there, Lupin was still there.

I graduated high school the next year.

My books got weather damaged at some point due to a fluke in something, so I had to get rid of them and my Mom found a set just like them, as I had first edition copies in hardback. They don't have the wear-and-tear from usage like the originals, but they're a full set, complete with the first edition text errors I love.

So, all that in mind, I should also add that I also read other books, watched other things, played other games, because Harry Potter didn't take over everything, it was just my thing to fall back on when I wanted to cozy up into a world that had grown with me. I didn't collect much stuff from the series, a lot of my merch that I'd did own was all gifted, and some of its worn out or I grew out of and gave away ((oh, Diagon Alley board game, my beloved, I hope you are being treated well)).

And that all in mind:

Yes, the first movie is still as whimsical as I remember.

Watching Harry sit in that window once again, I couldn't help but say to myself: "Oh, God, don't tell me he's going to sing!"

21 freaking years later.

#rae is such a dork #tw: harry potter

[aetheternity]

So sweet, just for me

Synopsis: Just some stories where reader takes care of Virgin! Armin.

Disclaimer: Unprotected sex, blowjobs, Sub Armin and sexually experienced Y/N are all present in this. Minors exit now.

☆☆Just Summer Things☆☆

Sweat coursed down the expanse of every inch of your body. Or maybe it was water you weren't really sure. A set of carefully trimmed nails shivered and shook beside your head, digging into the grimy tree bark. Locks of sun kissed blonde hair stuck to parts of your neck, face and collarbone as you coaxed Armin's breathing down. Forehead resting uncomfortably against the bark and your ass firmly seated against his hips.

"How do you feel sweet boy?"

"I-I.." He panted, pulling his face back a little. Blue doe eyes full of lust and the sweet shine of tears.

His cock currently pressed delicately against your g-spot during what started out as a normal water balloon fight. Between the boys and the girls of course. You guys had all come out during late afternoon, Sasha and Connie started tossing water balloons and teams formed accordingly.

At some point you'd run off to what you thought was a safe zone only to find Armin perched in the bushes. Contemplation etched into his soft features.

"Move slowly ok." You encourage. You were surprised by how big he was sure but the warning was more so this could last for a while.

He nodded where you were still holding the back of his head. His nails cautiously unlatching from the tree moving instead to sink into the fat of your hips while at the same time his once snugly nestled cock began to move. The sweet drag forcing your toes to curl and your eyes to shut. A small exhale cresting off your lips.

A breathy moan fell from his trembling lips as he pulls you in closer. Wrapping his arms around your waist and squeezing around you like a lifeline.

You'd met Armin only two years ago through Jean and continued to crush on him for the entirety of those two years. Until today when he'd admitted to you that he was a little ashamed of being a virgin while consistently having to listen to Eren, Connie and Jean's conquests.

You told him they were probably lying about at least half of those stories but it only got you a small smile. So you decided to do him one better and offer to take his virginity.

It wasn't selfish. It was a win win. He would receive a conquest story to tell and you would get what you'd been craving since you'd first seen him in Jean's apartment shirtless and trying to help fix the messed up drain.

"Feels good?" You chuckle huskily

"Oh my God.." He huffs into your skin. 

His hips worked themselves up a little faster. A slightly clumsy pace forming but he was new at this so you weren't mad.

"Armin slow down baby, I don't want you to get ahead of yourself."

"I-i'm sorry.. j-ust feels amazing.."

One of his hands hesitantly snaked up your shirt. Skittish in the way he palmed at your breast. Though he quickly eased up when you replied to the affection with a little mewl.  

It felt surprisingly amazing for you as well. Considering the situation and the fact that Armin had never done this with anyone. This really was his first time.. What a weird thing to tell people. My first time was at a water balloon fight against a tree.

You hummed when the pleasure started to sit in your stomach. Legs trembling a bit as he pumped inside you a little faster. Any other time you would've just thrown your head back and relaxed, especially since his dick was so perfectly filling right now but-

"Armin, slow down." Your breathing was a little raspy.

He replied with a whimpery moan, thighs shaking against your sides. You reached an arm around grabbing his hips with your hand to slow them. It seemed to catch his attention because those soft doe eyes were wide.

"You'll get to cum baby I promise you, ease up a bit it's not a race." He nodded in affirmation and you smiled warmly.

Silk strands warm under your guided fingers as he pulled all the way out and slowly eased back in. A collective united moan exiting both your mouths. You'd shut your eyes but they worked themselves back open at the almost unnoticeable twitch of his cock head.

Your favorite part.

"Mm baby so close.." You whisper, your lip coming to tuck itself under your teeth.

A small chorus of yes's and little gasps fall from his open mouth. His skin somehow easing out of tomato red and into surface of the sun red.

You pull him close making sure his eyes were open. "I need you to cum for me ok? But make sure no one hears you." You say, and fuck is it gorgeous watching him come undone. Just like you'd imagined so many times before.

The tears once welling in his eyes spilled over like a faucet. Choked moans and harsh gasps worked their way off his lips. One of his hands flew back up to the tree where his nails soon dug the bark clean off. His hips stuttering through his entire orgasm. You were almost worried when his climax ended. The way he went silent except for his wild breathing.

"Armin?"

"Fuck.." He sighed

You couldn't help but giggle. "How was your first time?"

He gasps and rolls his eyes still stuck in euphoria. When he pulls out you take the opportunity to turn around. Working your panties up over your hips and pulling your fluttery skirt back down.

"Please, please let me do that again sometime.." He huffs finally managing words. You bring his lips to yours in a chaste kiss that honestly doesn't last long enough for you.

"Only if you promise to stay my good boy." You reply pulling his shorts up till they rest comfortably on his hips.

"I promise." He remarks, almost too eager. "Oh! Wait you didn't get to c-"

"Hey, where did you guys go?" Armin practically separates from his skin as Connie and Jean round the corner. Water guns tucked in their grasp.

"When did you guys get those?" You asked nonchalantly.

Jean shrugged, "We made the game more interesting."

Connie shook his head running back around the corner as Sasha's battle cry sounded.

"Hurry and get back we need you out there Armin." And with that Jean was gone too.

You picked up Armin's discarded water balloon, placing it in his open palm. "See you out there, lover boy."

☆☆Showing Armin how to do Yoga☆☆

"Why's Armin coming over here so early again?" Sasha asked rolling over onto her side. The bag of cotton candy once perched on her thighs flopping over and nearly spilling its contents.

"To do Yoga!" You replied with a laugh sitting the bag upright next to her.

She groaned dramatically. "But it's six thirty am on a Saturday."

"No one told you to get up with me." You remark, pushing the coffee table to the edge of the room.

She holds her once displaced bag up for you to see. "It was calling out to me." She sighs, hugging it to her chest.

A knock on the door takes your concentration. As you pull it open you call back to her, "Well since you're up, you might as well join us."

"Nope!" She quickly scurries away with a wave of her hand. Cotton candy stuffed under her arm.

You shut the door behind Armin as he stares down the hall that Sasha had disappeared down. Your grin is bright almost devilish as it slowly spreads across your face.

"Seems like it's just the two of us." You mutter, loud enough for him to hear.

You watch as he thickly gulps with a nod. Bite able Adam's apple bouncing but you pretend you don't notice. Your mat is already laid out on the floor but you can't stop yourself from bending over to smooth out the corners. Barely paying attention to Armin until you hear a small cough or maybe him choking it's not very clear.

He's holding his mat in his arms defensively across his chest. Silk strands of blond hair fluttering when he blinks. His cheeks a beautifully vibrant pink.

"I-I wanted to th-thank you.." He says, blue eyes trained where they stared at your mat. "For.. the- um.." He gestures and you can't help but giggle.

"The sex?"

Now his eyes find you. Blown wide as his pink lips part over a word that never succeeds in leaving his mouth. Your feet pat over the floor as you close the distance between the two of you. His cheeks warm under your delicate grasp and you hold his face almost as though you're sure he'll shatter.

"You're so cute, please never change."

You're almost scared it sounds condescending but the soft rosy color trudging up to the tips of Armin's ears says he doesn't agree.

You turn back to your mat with a smile but just before you sit on it you add, "And you never have to thank me for sex, I'd do it with you anytime."

He nods once as if responding to you and then twice as if he's confirming that you did indeed say what he heard. The soft plap of his mat on the floor reminding you of what you were both here for.

"Ok, let's begin then." You take a deep breath, adjusting the scrunchie holding your hair in place. "First we wanna stretch alright, so I just need you to reach up above your head with both hands and reposition your feet."

You demonstrate using yourself and Armin awkwardly copies. Slender fingers curling towards the sky as he slowly relaxes his shoulders. You can't help but let your mind wander a little as a glint of light flickers off the steel rings decorating three of his gorgeous digits.

You had fingered yourself last time the two of you were together and now you were craving him. Wondering what the warmth of just one of those inside you would feel like.

"Spread your legs more." You encourage, meanwhile it nearly has Armin doubling back. "Dirty boy." You tease

You stand in front of him gently kicking his legs apart. Easy enough. And he responds to every bit of your touch like he craved you too.

And well you wanna tell yourself that you had actually had completely innocent intentions when you'd invited Armin over here today. He genuinely had never done Yoga before and you knew Sasha was gonna be here. So yeah, you'd love to say you wanted nothing but to relax Armin in this encounter.

But you couldn't even keep a straight face while thinking it.

"Can you bend your knees a little?" He squats, carefully coming back up. Arms reaching out on both sides as you coaxed him. "A little lower sweetie." You say as his ass hovers inches over the mat.

And oh to be the mat.

You step back until you're completely back on your mat. "I'm sure your arms are tired, you can put them down now." You wave him off and he lets out a smooth exhale. "Feel relaxed yet?"

"A little." He replies with a confident smile.

"Then you're ready for the next part." You clap "I need you to bend over and touch your toes alright."

He shuts his eyes, pretty lips parting over your choice of words. What you wouldn’t give right at this second to be a mind reader. His back arches, ankles locking together as you demonstrated. "Good, good boy. Back straight." You sink your thumb into his black athletic shirt to touch his spine. And he hardens with your touch. "Don't be shy, it's just me." You mutter, breath heavy.

Fuck! Touching his back muscles this up close and personal made you wanna sink your nails into them. Leave lines up and down his soft supple skin as a mark that you'd always be his first. No one else would ever get that privilege. 

"I-I.."

Shit.

"Ok, you can stand."

You pretend not to notice the way he shifts his sweats as he stands. This time you vow to actually stay on your mat.

"You should know this position." Your legs spread on one end of the mat while your hands came down to lay flat near the opposite end. "Try it."

Carefully he gets into the position you're currently doing but not without peaking at your figure. His blond hair dipping towards the mat and you can't help but smile at how cute he looks.

"Now we're gonna slowly curve our bodies down until our pelvis touches the floor." You say, head curving up toward the ceiling. For once Armin has immediate trouble, hips dangling weirdly over the ground. His arms trying and failing to steady himself.

"What's the matter? Wanna try a different position?"

"N-no it's nothing.."

You plop down on your mat, crossing your legs and gesturing for him to do the same and even without his reluctance you already know what's wrong. He slowly but surely rotates his hips, spreading his legs. His hardened dick print on full display.

You don't even try to hide the slow slither of your tongue wetting your lips. You quickly turn your head before crawling your way over to a very very flushed Armin. Sweat glistening perfectly over his pale skin.

"W-wait Sasha!" He panics, his arms flailing a bit as he backs up slightly.

"Shh it's ok, she definitely fell back asleep the second she went back in her room." You reply crawling towards him again.

"But you know I c-can't keep q-uiet. Wh-what if she h-hears!"

Your hands inched past his now loosened sweats to gently squeeze his hardened cock through his boxers. Both his hands flew to his mouth giving you a new gorgeous view of those pretty rings.

His eyes roll unfocused with every sweet glide of your hand. Tears already starting to brim along the edges of his warm eyes.

“Do you always wear those rings for physical activities or is it just for me?” 

“I-I just forgot to take them off..” 

“Did you?” You can tell your smile is shitty. Just from the way his eyes dart away from yours "You've never been blown either have you?" You ask getting back on topic.

"N-no." It's a muffled response but it hits your ears loud and clear.

"Another story for the growing journal then." You tease

You honestly can't help yourself. Lips curving and confining his tip like a vise. Precum salty where it stains your tongue. His gasp bouncing off the wall so elegantly. So fucking perfect. But even though Sasha is a heavy sleeper you were still worried she'd wake up before you finished.

So as much as you wanted to tease.

"Can I pull these down baby? I know your dick wants some relief."

He complies, oddly quickly. And you pull his sweats and boxers down just enough to hug the tops of his thighs. 

And his dick is gorgeous. You hadn't actually seen it before but fuck was it pretty, standing tall and leaking before you.

You inch forward spit dribbling from your lips to be collected in the hand that was working his slender shaft. It had Armin's hips bucking up to greet you. His sweet whines egging you on.

And slowly but surely.... "Oh my fucking god."

It was an adjustment. Not as smooth as you would've liked because of the weird angle but you'd taken a little more than half of his dick in your mouth. A mildly painful fit made up for by the angelic cries of Armin just above you.

"Pl-please.. oh God please.."

He couldn't tell what he wanted to hold, hands shifting to the top of your head, the floor and his rolled up sweats all in less than a minute. You swore you could hear his heartbeat through his chest every time you swallowed his cock again.

You wanted to speed ahead so bad, see him just as flustered as he had been last week when he had his cock buried deep inside your pussy but it was obvious he wasn't going to last long either way.

Disorganized syllables flooding off his lips with the occasional whimper of "thank you" and "yes". His throat heavy with every curse word he knew stuck in it. Breaths quick and uneven as you coaxed him down your throat. Vibrations coursing past your lips to meet his already sensitive sex.

"I-i'm.. gonna cum.. mmm soooo close! Gonna cum!"

His choked breaths fell over your forehead and in the next second he was emptying every bit of his stress into your mouth. Eyes clouded like Armin wasn't even in there anymore. And you drained him of every drop, reaching between his legs to squeeze his balls.

When you pulled off of him he let out a deep exhale. Body still shaking as he looked at you.

"Thank you so much." He grinned hazily

"God, I wanna be as many of your firsts as possible." You breathe out a laugh.

☆☆The one where Eren walks in☆☆

It wasn't often you came back to the same guy. Every now and then you had one night stands and that's all it ended up being. You'd always been fine with that.

But Armin made you stay. His shaky fingers, nervous tongue and tear stained cheeks so oddly addictive. Intoxicating in how innocent he stayed despite having two sexual encounters with you.

And now here you both were having your third in his bed. Bodies melded together in the heat of both your sweat. Eyes fixated on only each other as his head tilted up like a hungry baby bird to pull you back in every time you fled.

And you indulged him as much as possible because fuck he was the cutest thing. Your hands gliding over his back and up to his shoulders to pull him impossibly closer. Spine curving deliciously when he grazed over your g-spot.

"Armin.. there." You breathed

Your free hand slid between your bodies making space for those slender fingers to work over your clit.

"Flick it." You encouraged, he immediately did as he was told earning a moan of approval.

"Good boy." You hum, lip trembling where it curves under your teeth.

The once soft pink of his face deepened with the compliment. A little smile decorating his gorgeous features. Just another thing to add to your growing folder of mental images.

"There honey.. keep going." You cooed over the little whimper fluttering off his lips as you hugged his cock. "You remember that spot right? The one that you hit when we were outside?"

"Yeah.. I think it was.." His hips remained delicate as he slid right into place. One leg up as he slotted his cock inside you. Heat pooled in the lowest depths of your stomach with the hesitant prodding of his tip to your g-spot. Eyes curving up to yours for further instruction.

"Mmhm that's it.. hit it a little harder ok."

It was all sorts of clumsy but he rammed your g-spot full force. An apology made its way to his throat but eye contact and the choked gasp that left your mouth soon proved it wasn't needed. You spread your legs a little further for him and he grabbed your waist smoothly working your hips over his dick.

"You're doing so well." You giggled taking a hold of his face. "And you're holding out much longer this time."

"Y-yeah but I'm almost there.." He sighed, fingers working at your clit a little faster. Right in time with the faster tempo of his hips.

"Fuck, you feel soooo good." He drawls

His lips parted, eyes flying north. You hugged him a little tighter as his chest pushed you up and down with each thrust. The once gentle drag of your nails now much rougher. As you let it slip just how much you were enjoying this.

Let your mouth fall open for the words circling your brain. Stomach heavy as Armin fucked you with intention. You brushed beads of sweat back from his face. His hair going up with it, clumping together atop his head.

"Mm gonna cum.." He moaned, head lolling with the intensity of his full body tremor.

"Hey Armin-"

"Eren!" Armin nearly shot up as Eren pushed the door open with zero warning.

Armin's free hand stayed on your clit completely stagnant. Tip twitching inside you, he didn't even have time to cover his mouth. Moans and whimpers pouring out from his still parted lips. Every bit of your fifteen minute effort now seen and heard by Eren who stood in the doorway with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey Eren.." You greeted, pulling your hand away from your upturned lips. Meanwhile Armin's face is buried deep in your shoulder blade. Where you already assumed he'd be staying for the next hour.

"Uh huh.." Eren replied, slamming the door shut. "Mikasa, he's busy let's go!" You heard him call as his boots clicked down the hall.

You don’t say a word till you hear the front door open and close, “You ok?” 

“Any chance Eren didn’t hear that?..” He whispered 

“Not in hell or on Earth love.” 

‘Then no..” 

#aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk smut #armin arlert x reader smut #armin smut #armin x you #armin x y/n

[septembercfawkes]

Scene vs. Summary & When to Use Which

When I was a young writer, I didn't fully understand what a scene was and what a summary was. Later, when I understood the difference, I wasn't always sure when to use which. These days, I occasionally help writers with the same things. They may use summary for what should have been a scene, or they may write a whole scene for what really should have been summary. Understanding the difference and when to use which can be key when writing a successful novel.

Sure, some of it is subjective.

But what might be surprising to some, is that most of the time, one is more . . . "correct" than the other.  

Scene

A scene is a structural unit that tends to have these qualities:

- Happens in Real Time

A scene will largely happen in real time. This means we "watch" the characters move, act, and talk, as if it were happening in real life.

- Dramatizes (Shows > Tells)

A scene dramatizes. It uses showing more than telling. If a character is angry with a friend, we see that anger in action and conversation. We may witness her yell or kick a rock, for example. It's like watching a stage play.

- Concrete

Because it is dramatized, a scene will usually be more concrete. It will more likely appeal to our senses and the physical world and experience.

- Characters Acting in a Specific Location

A scene will have characters in a location (in some very rare cases, the setting or society may act as characters). They might be talking on a train ride, or exploring a cave, or dueling in the snow.

Scene Examples

(Because a full scene often lasts pages, these examples are passages from specific scenes.)

"This won't take long, Andrew," said the doctor. Ender nodded. "It's designed to be removed. Without infection, without damage. But there'll be some tickling, and some people say they have a feeling of something missing. You'll keep looking around for something, something you were looking for, but you can't find it, and you can't remember what it was. So I'll tell you. It's the monitor you're looking for, and it isn't there. In a few days that feeling will pass." The doctor was twisting something at the back of Ender's head. Suddenly a pain stabbed through him like a needle from his neck to his groin. Ender felt his back spasm, and his body arched violently backward; his head struck the bed. He could feel his legs thrashing, and his hands were clenching each other, wringing each other so tightly that they arched. "Deedee!" shouted the doctor. "I need you!" The nurse ran in, gasped. "Got to relax these muscles. Get it to me, now! What are you waiting for!" Something changed hands; Ender could not see. He lurched to one side and fell off the examining table. "Catch him!" cried the nurse. "Just hold him steady--" "You hold him, doctor, he's too strong for me--" "Not the whole thing! You'll stop his heart--" Ender felt a needle enter his back just above the neck of his shirt. It burned, but wherever in him the fire spread, his muscles gradually un-clenched. Now he could cry for the fear and pain of it. "Are you all right, Andrew?" the nurse asked.

- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to me to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger with the words: “This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to you.” He, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and having examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice, “Her size is small: what is her age?” “Ten years.” “So much?” was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes. Presently he addressed me—“Your name, little girl?” “Jane Eyre, sir.” In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman; but then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and prim. “Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?”

- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Summary

A summary has these qualities:

- Condensed Time

Summaries condense time. They may cover a month in a single sentence. They may talk about recurring events over a time period, within one paragraph. They may relay a past event (or in some cases, a future event) within a brief moment. They don't happen in real time.

- Explains through Telling

Since the moment isn't happening in real time, the audience is told more than shown what happened. This gives summary a stronger, guiding, narrative hand. Rather than experiencing the passage like the character, it's more like the audience is being guided by a storyteller (generally speaking).

- More Abstract

For those reasons, telling is more abstract. It's more likely to express ideas and concepts, rather than specific experiences.

- Characters and/or Setting may Change Swiftly (or Maybe Not Even Be Present In Some Cases)

A summary may not focus on a specific character or stay in the same setting. It may move quickly through settings or may not even mention a specific setting.

Summary Examples

Mother came home and commiserated with Ender about the monitor. Father came home and kept saying it was such a wonderful surprise, they had such fantastic children that the government told them to have three, and now the government didn't want to take any of them after all, so here they were with three, they still had a Third . . . until Ender wanted to scream at him, I know I'm a Third, I know it, if you want I'll go away so you don't have to be embarrassed in front of everybody. - Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy to me. He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week, nor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared him, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near. There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired, because I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his inflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by taking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the subject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did both now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind her back.

- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

When to Use Which

Most novels are better written with more scene than summary. Scenes dramatize the story, so that the audience feels like they are experiencing and participating in it. Scenes are more impactful. Scenes are more likely to stir emotions. Because they are more concrete, they are more likely to stick in the reader's memory.

However, this is not to say all novels are better with more scene than summary. You can indeed find successful books with more summary. This can be particularly useful in books with huge casts and many viewpoint characters, books that take place over a long period of time (such as a character's entire life), or books with powerful, present omniscient narrators. Not all books that rely on summary more than scene are bad.

But most books are better told largely through scene than summary.

And pretty much all novels need some of both.

So when do we use which?

Sometimes I edit passages that are weakened because they are summarized instead of dramatized. Other times I read scenes that offer very little dramatic value and should have been summarized.

Scenes

A good rule of thumb is the more significant the moment, the more likely it needs to be rendered as a scene.

Big turning points and climactic moments should almost always be a scene--whether that turning point relates to character arc, plot, or theme.

This means that the climactic moments of the beginning, middle, and end, should almost always be a scene.

Anything we've been building up to in the primary plotline related to the arc, events, or theme, should probably be a scene.

If you are following a story structure, key moments in that structure should likely be a scene. The inciting incident should likely be a scene, the midpoint should likely be a scene, Plot Point 2 should likely be a scene . . .

Now, in a novel, there may be many plotlines besides the primary. The less important the plotline, the less likely you need all its turning points in scenes (or even on page).

Impactful moments should usually be scenes. If they are summary, sometimes the audience feels cheated. Imagine building up to the climax of a novel, only to have the author summarize it. It's almost always a letdown.

Sometimes newer writers do this sort of thing, because they are intimidated by trying to write the scene. They may feel unsure that they can write it well. Remember, you can edit, and edit, and re-edit the scene to make it better. Daring to write a poor scene and then edit it, will get you further in the long run than avoiding it altogether.

In many genres, you will have what are called "obligatory scenes." These are what they sound like. They need to happen. In a scene.

So in romance, you almost always need to have a first kiss scene. In a murder mystery, you almost always need to have an opening scene where a body is discovered. Obligatory scenes should be scenes, not summary, most of the time.

Summaries

On the other side of the spectrum, we have summary. If an entire novel were written with scenes, it would probably be long and boring. Not everything is important enough to be a scene. And if you make it a scene, it's a flat scene without any real turning point or change. This kills pacing.

Use summary when the audience needs to know the fact that something happened, but it's not important for them to experience it.

For example, the fact that Jacob didn't get much sleep the prior night probably isn't important enough for a full scene, but it might be important for the audience to know for the next scene. It might influence what happens in the next scene. That is a good time to use summary.

Use summary when you need to cover a broader length of time in a shorter amount of space. For example, you may have characters who need to trek to a distant land, which may take months. But the story isn't about the trek itself. Use summary to tell us about the trek, without making the story only about the trek. (Not to mention if the trek was all in scenes, it'd be overly detailed and likely boring.)

Along the same line, summary can sometimes be great for scene transitions--usually when what happened between the scenes is worth mentioning, but not worth dramatizing.

Summary is also important in providing context for the reader. Summary may be used to set up a situation or to provide additional background information that the reader needs in order to interpret what is happening in the story, accurately.  

For example, you may summarize a short backstory to explain a character's current behavior.

Scene vs. Showing; Summary vs. Telling

Scene is mostly like showing, and summary is mostly like telling. However, the concepts are slightly different. For example, I may write in a scene "Emily was tired," which would be "telling" but I wouldn't consider it "summary." Just as I wouldn't necessarily consider "I felt angry" summary, so much as I would consider it to be telling.

Likewise, you may have a scene that is largely introspection, which may be showing a character's thought process as he summarizes events through telling sentences.

Yeah, if we get deep, it turns into splitting hairs.

Even between showing and telling, if you want to make yourself really crazy, sometimes you can use summary and telling on a small scale to show something on a big scale. For example, to show that a character has a habit of being late, you may use summary that includes some telling about his morning routine, to cover several such instances. However, one could easily argue that you could simply do a scene that shows him showing up late, and have another character use dialogue that implies this is a common occurrence.

But let's not induce headaches today! My point is, that the boundaries do blur, and things aren't always as clear cut as we make them sound.

Nonetheless, because summary and telling overlap, you can use many of the same technique that we use to write great telling, to write great summary. And rather than rewrite all those techniques, I have them in my article "10 Cheats to Tell Well."

Mixing Scene and Summary

In order to write a great novel, many scenes will include some summary within them. Like I mentioned above, you may need to slip in some backstory information through summary. Or perhaps in the scene, the characters are having dinner, but you want half the scene to be the cooking and the other half to happen while they are eating. Depending on how long the food takes to make, you may need some summarizing: "Don finished putting the toppings on the pizza and then put it in the oven for 30 minutes."

Similarly, if you are going to have a lengthy passage of summary, it's often effective to include scene-like moments--perhaps a paragraph that captures part of a conversation in real time, before going back to summary. Or maybe the summary includes a significant action that would be rendered better with a little more detail, like a half-scene.

In any case, we want to make sure we are using both scene and summary, and perhaps just as important, that we are using them at the right moments.

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