#so just to recap the story so far as I believe I am meant to understand it: louis met a girl

[statementlou]

.

#so just to recap the story so far as I believe I am meant to understand it: louis met a girl #was so instantly sure he was serious about her that (to put the most generously trying to believe it possible spin on this) #within a week he took her somewhere public enough that they were likely to get papped and articles written #noted that the paps were there and went ahead and held hands for pics insuring that that would happen #and then was like okay well see ya babe going back to the UK #Oli's really homesick he misses the pudding a lot I gotta jet #see ya... sometime idk

[keefsteef]

AIN'T TALKIN BOUT LOVE - EP. 1

Citizens of Vanhalenville, WELCOME to Ain't Talkin Bout Love - a pile of rambling that I'm pretending is my podcast, where we talk about ANYTHING but love for our creatures 👺

Just kidding... obviously I love them down lmaooo. This'll be a lighthearted situation type deal. To get this disclaimer out the way, I am not anti David anti Sammy or anti Gary, I'm pro them all, so if I happen to be ripping into Samuel (which I will be 🤣,)that is not a testimony of me believing in David superiority blah blah blah, they're all gonna GET THE SMOKE if necessary. (Especially DAVID 🤣)

🙄. The fact I even have to disclaim that makes me chuckle but you know how it e-is , you always get a select few that suddenly possess all-knowing oracle powers and can tell you who you hate or don't hate 🔥🧠🔥‼️

ANYWAY let's get this shitshow on the road, hello I'm Raeyeon, call me Rae...or if calling me keefsteef tickles your tingle fine🤩... whatever works🤩...

TODAY, we'll be chatting about one of the possible reasons for the notorious "Alexander doesn't speak to Samuel" ordeal that quite frequently makes blog cameos in the form of some snarky joke. But really, it's hard to chuckle at as a citizen of alexanderopolis, because that just means he'll keep hiding from us 😭 kiss seeing him playing drums in the sun GOODBYE, BELOVED...

So to briefly recap it if you aren't aware, Samuel wants to do a reunion (yes, I know without Edward it'd be extremely bittersweet, but nonetheless still a nice tribute) but Mr. Alexander Arthur Van Halen is NOT DOWN FOR IT, and will not return any emails or calls.

I know we can easily put grieving at responsibility for this,which at this point I'm sure is the case, but correct me if I'm wrong, Samuel hadn't been keeping in contact with Alexander even when Edward was still around. I knowwww obviously the drama over the leaving of the band has a huge role, but here are MY PERSONAL SPECULATIONS 😩‼️

Samuel, beloved...I'm not delusional enough to think you'd read this, but talking in the pov that you are...there's plainly things you KEEP TO YOURSELF when you expect to keep a friendship.

The majority of us are probably aware of his book called RED where he spills tea (a bit too much tea in my opinion 😩) and what not, the extreme of it regarding Edward and his drug usage. I also saw the way he went about it to be quite insensitive, it almost felt like a haha let's laugh at this crackhead type of storytelling than a "gee eddies far gone and I feel bad".

I'm SURE he meant it to be more of a feel bad situation, but he's human, humans fuck up and make mistakes.

This was a big fuck up lmaooo. We KNOW Alexander loves his brother, and I personally think that he's well enough of a grown man to not hold a silly grudge over leaving...quitting... kicking out, whatever drama. (I've already shared my THOUGHTS on that fiasco 😭)

I think he's refusing to contact Samuel, because he's probably hurt about the way he aired Edward out.

I would be too. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone that seemed to kick my blood when they were down. Samuel is an INTELLIGENT MAN, so every time I hear him go "lol idk why he won't call me back"

BELOVED 👺👺👺👺🔪🔪🔪🔪, DON'T ACT DENSE!

Obviously...I am a stranger and obviously this is my observative opinion, Samuel could've apologized to Alexander already and in Taurus fashion he pulled a "forgiveness granted, trust and friendship denied" move, but if that's not the case...

SAAAAMMMUELLLLL needs to stop trying to force a music reunion, and instead needs to invite Alexander to Cabo and talk things out man to man. (And maybe take selfies for vanhalenville 😩😩🤩💅🏽🤪)

Neither of them are getting any younger, and it just saddens me to think of the possibility they'll never talk again. But yeah, I see that Samuel has quite the tendency to enjoy opening his mouth and sharing stories...but he really needs to have a bit more awareness about the type of stories he shares.

I'm sure there's things to talk about without getting all down and dirty and personal. Take notes from Michael Anthony 😩‼️

Anyway...this was quite a WAY TO KICK OFF WASN'T IT 🤣. I've been wanting to have a little chitter chatter about this for the longest time, but I wanted to sort of establish myself as a blog first so I wouldn't get "you hate Sammy" accusations 😭

I loooove Mr. Red Rockers curly headed self, but he for real needs to quit playing these games and make things right. An apology, if he's already given it, means nothing when you continue to do what you apologized for.

THANKS FOR TUNING IN 🤩❤️, NEXT we'll talk about Mr. Diamond David Gigolo Tarzan Atomic Punk Whoever Whatever Lee Roth!

I've got some interesting things to expand on about him...word in the STREETS is on the 1978 tour, he was really just a cute cozy little bookworm and all that hooping blabber mouth persona was just that... A persona.

MUAH!

#classic rock #van halen #aint talkin bout love blogcast

[sherifftillman]

rj's big sappy 2022 recap

when i started this dumb little blog, on july 9th, i was midway through writing an unambiguous love and rife with other ideas for more fics that i finally decided to bite the bullet and start writing. i'd been out of the fanfic writing game for a long time, and as a day 1 stranger things fan i knew how big the fandom already was, even before s4 came out in its entirety. but i was inspired to Just Start Writing Anyway. not to worry about notes, because yeah, it's oversaturated as all hell, but that means if numbers don't do well, there's an excuse, right? and i can just enjoy writing and posting and seeing what sticks.

but now here we are, nearly half a year later, with over 1.5k of you (!!!!!!!) and i am rejuvenated, i am inspired and i have never felt more love. so i'm gonna get real sappy and share that love with you all.

first and foremost, to the og's, @denim-mixtapes + @fanatictypist, i can't say anything more to you that i haven't already in the last nine years, other than thank you for reigniting the flame under my ass to get me here again. i love you both eternally.

to the other half of my brain, my platonic soulmate, @keerysquinn, i still cannot believe we had matching urls saved. i love us so much. thank you for being my muse, constantly inspiring and encouraging me, and making me feel less alone in this insane expanse of a fandom. thank you for always being my number 1 hype person, and being the best sister wife (gn) to our beloved scrunkly.

and on that note, to @bowerquinn and @hellfirehoe; the immediate friendship, guidance and support you both showed me from the moment i first started talking to you both is something truly special. i have never felt more welcome in a community than the way you made me feel from the moment we "met", and never more loved than through the absolute ferocity with which you guys have my back. i love the three of you immensely. slut squad 4 lyf <3

after having been in the [redacted] fandom for so long, i'd really lost touch in what i used to love the most about fandom, and on the surface there's so much flack that gets thrown around for what is and isn't "canon", what's "true" and what isn't, and so i had given up on my old love of crackshipping until anna and @heroeddiemunson once again reinvigorated new ways to interpret my favourite media since, i wanna say my old glee days?? i forgot how fun it is to just take two characters and explore their dynamics with little to no canon context. and that's had my creative juices flowing consistently for months now. i just have so much fun thinking about these things, and sharing them with people who get it, it truly never gets old.

speaking of bouncing ideas back and forth, i can't talk about the shit that's changed my life this year and not talk about busy streets and busy lives. while i've had stranger things-related fics that have reached insane numbers, and i am so very grateful for that, the small and mighty community that bsbl has formed is something i hold very close to my heart. i never thought i had it in me to write a longform story. to write believable angst, or slow burn, or even original characters that people would care about. that's why i've always only ever written fanfic. but the comments i get from bsbl chapters truly make me believe that i'm capable of far more than i'd thought before i started it. thank you for loving it as much as i do. <3

(also, while i do sincerely love and appreciate every sort of commentary on it, i do have to give an extra special dose of love to @reysorigins because their reviews on @reysorigins-library are, honest to whatever's out there, some of the most genuinely sincere ones to receive. seeing your own words recited back to you, singled out to praise them, is validating and inspiring in ways i can't put into words. thank you for what you do, rey <3)

it was never even meant to be the insanity that it now is. it started off as a dumb oneshot idea that i had no idea what direction it was headed in. then an inside joke in the jq server inspired me, and many others, to start bouncing more and more ideas about what ralph would be like in the modern world, and so a fic was born. a fic that's only 6 chapters deep so far and already 52k+ words. that's a whole novel!!! i daren't tag everyone who's contributed to bsbl bc a) it'd take so much searching back through multiple channels to make sure i included absolutely everyone, and i'd feel terrible if i missed anyone out; and b) if you're there for that, you're here anyway lol. so to everyone in the jq server, thank you for giving me the gift of the story that never stops giving back.

there are so many other friends i've made through the camaraderie of the writing community. again, at first it seemed oversaturated, like i was going to be just a drop in the ocean. but actually, that's not the case. it just means there's always going to be people who are willing to listen to your headcanons and hype them up with you. it's given me the confidence to - and i can't word this in any other way but i promise it isn't self-deprecating - just be really fucking annoying about the things that i enjoy. i've managed to find a corner of the internet that loves the things that i love as much as i do and in as big a way as i do.

and the inspiration i get from new friends goes even beyond writing! i've even been inspired to start learning how to make gifs now?? and not just compiling frames and putting them together, i'm learning all about colouring and rendering and blending scenes together. i've never been very visually creative, but i have so much to learn and i'm so excited to.

it's my 2023 goal to try and be more of an active friend to my mutuals. but i'm bad at reaching out lol. i would tag all of the mutuals i want to get to know better for accountability's sake but a) again i may forget people and feel real bad about it, and b) i don't want to annoy anyone with unwanted pings. but if we're moots, i am always down to talk more!!

2022 was always going to be a big year for me anyway. a couple of weeks ago, i celebrated a decade of my "second" life. but i've done other big things this year, too. i've been learning welsh and getting in touch with my own heritage. i've started to get over my fear of learning to drive. i applied for a promotion at work, didn't get it, but most importantly, i didn't let it get me down. it's just motivated me to get to somewhere better, where the talents i KNOW i have can actually be appreciated. if you'd have told me from ten years ago that, i'd have decked you lmao.

i couldn't have imagined at the start of the year that i'd pick up the one creative hobby i thought i was fully burned out from. but here we are. thank you for the last half-year-ish. whether you've been here for five months or five minutes, i appreciate your presence regardless. <3

#ridgespeak #for a rainy day #rj has friends!

[slightlyti]

So I decided I wanted to actually be active in updating my reading this year.. so far I haven't done well as I didn't get around to do January - perhaps I will a some point.

The books i enjoyed most are marked with ⭐️

The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab. I read this as a buddy read, which was a lot of fun. It's been a few years since I read the Shades of London series, so I had forgotten so much. I struggled a bit with that. But once I read a few recaps I was all good and reading this book was great. It felt really good getting back into a world I loved reading about in the original series. The characters are a bit older which I enjoyed, and as always I got really wrapped up in the story. Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban Lesbian Victorian ladies? Sign me up. This was really fun and really sweet. I liked the main characters, and the parent-trapping was delightful. I saw that the sequel is coming out later this year, so I will be looking forward to that. ⭐️ Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo This has been on my TBR for years, and I finally got around to it. I loved it. Beautiful story with great characterization. Following Lily as she grows up and starts to learn and explore her sexuality and finding her own identity this book did a great job of transporting me to San Fransisco in the 50s.

Battle Royal by Lucy Parker A cute romance for people with a sweet tooth. The chemistry was nice enough and I did like that the characters were like real adult with established careers and slightly greying hair. It was nothing special but did it's job as a romance book.

⭐️ A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers I loved this so much. There’s something about this little book that just hits. A delightful a moving read that I’ll definitely return to. Dex’s yearning for something unknown and unspecified was so relatable and the book made me yearn for a world and a way of living - together with, and part of nature - that I’ll never see except in this book. Also I wanna be a tea monk so bad! ⭐️ A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers The follow-up lived up the A Psalm.. I loved it. I loved the character interactions and the world of this series. I can't wait for more of these books and recommend everyone to read them right now!

Dark Heir by C. S. Pacat This series is stressing me out! Argh. I am looking forward to the next book. The Holiday Trap by Roan Parrish This was a cute queer romance inspired by the basis of The Holiday. A lesbian and a gay man swap homes for the holiday, trying to get away from their home lives and each find love and a home in the new place. Both story-lines were sweet. It didn't excite me that much but enough to keep my attention. Very easy to get through and perfect if you need something short and sweet without having to spend too much mental capacity Witch King by Martha Wells I do really like Martha Wells and this didn't disappoint. It was great reading some of her fantasy writing. The characters were great - I adore Kai and the people around him. The world-building is rich and the novel does not talk down to you. There was not really any exposition that would not make narrative sense, and this meant that it could be a bit hard to wrap my head around everything going on, but it was a great book and I look forward to seeing these characters again

Captive Prince series by C.S Pacat Reading Dark Rising and Dark Heir made me wanna revisit the Captive Prince books as well. I can't believe it's been like 7 years since I read them! I still really enjoy them. The political intrigue in especially the last two books is great, and returning to them was wonderful.

#books #reading wrap-up #february #tilla reads books #booklr

[golfupnorth]

February 1, 2023 Newsletter

Anxiously Awaiting Golf Season!

As football is winding down all that is left is the big game. Not my choice of teams to be in the Super Bowl but The Chiefs and the Eagles should be fun to watch. Even though my Lions didn’t make the playoffs (I’m not going there), I have watched every game leading up to this. The only consolation of my team not being in the Super Bowl is that no matter who wins I won’t be crying in my beer (in my case Captain Morgan).

Once the Super Bowl is done I will really start obsessing about getting out on the golf course (my weekends are now open). I have mentioned numerous times that I got new clubs last season and how much I loved them. Especially my Big Bertha 7 wood. I have also mentioned numerous times how much I struggle with irons.

Do I need Irons?

I am slowly getting to the point where I may never need an iron other than a pitching wedge and sand wedge.

My set came with a 3 wood, 5 & 6 hybrids and I added the 7 wood. Those clubs are my go-to clubs for fairway shots. There are still times where I have to grab an iron and because I don’t believe I can hit them well, I rarely do. Santa is trying help me with the under 100 yard lies that my current woods/hybrids just won’t work with and my irons are hit or miss with. Woke up Christmas and found a Big Bertha 9 wood under our tree. I have not had a chance to try it and am planning to go to a simulator and give it a try. We will see how that works out.

Simulators, Driving Ranges, and Practice Swings

I am not a patient woman and not a fan of doing something that doesn’t have immediate measurable results. Because of that I don’t take practice swings, I am bored at driving ranges and simulators seem silly. That said I want to try my 9 wood and that may be the only way and I can suck it up and try it again.

My lack of patience and unwillingness to practice is probably why I haven’t seen under 100 yet. Now I do love playing at Top Golf, which has goals and scores in a way that makes sense to me. Simulators have a weird algorithm that using my club speed, angles, etc. to determine how far and where my ball landed. I am just not sure what to do with simulators.

Are you asking yourself this?

Why am I reading a newsletter by someone that hasn’t golfed for that long and that really doesn’t know enough about golf to write about golf? You are exactly right, I don’t know enough, but I love this game. I hope my passion and commitment to the sport comes through. That my struggles with my irons and getting below 100 have you remembering when you were in my shoes (maybe you still are). That every year I am sure I will break 100 and get so excited about the first par of the year reminds you of your early years of golf. Maybe even have you chuckling here and there.

This newsletter is not meant to make you a scratch golfer or provide tips that will get you to the top of the leaderboards. It is entertainment about my experiences on various courses. My perspective is not from a “good” golfer’s views, but someone still learning and just having fun on the course.

Why a Newsletter?

Funny story, I never planned to write a newsletter. A website (more on that later) that I dreamed up was built. The webmaster added the option to sign up for a newsletter. I missed that in the final walk through before going live and before I knew it we had subscribers.

Oh sh*t! I am barely a golfer, how will I write about golf?

Our first issue was stiff and boring, a recap of the stats/specs of a few golf course up north. I was falling asleep writing it. I can only imagine what our readers thought. Surprisingly, nobody unsubscribed and our subscribers started growing. Now I was really on the line to be witty and charming to folks I have never met. What have I done?

Based on our newsletter open rates every month and growing subscribers we must be doing something right. I appreciate all the wonderful feedback and comments. I am having a blast with coming up with content and writing this newsletter.

What about the Website?

golfupnorth.com came about out of my need. When I started golfing I became a tad obsessed. I wanted to golf every course I could find in northern Michigan. Wanting to book stay and play trips every weekend. I would search for courses in northern Michigan. Then have to visit their website to see if they offered lodging. It was not as easy as you would think in this digital day and age to find options easily.

There are several national and statewide websites for courses. Having to go down too many rabbit holes to find courses. I was not able to see all courses available in an area on one page. Going course by course to see what they offered and writing notes on scrap paper.

I wanted to enter an address of a hotel or an area I wanted to visit and see what courses were nearby and basic information about them. None of these sites offered me a way to see several courses and what they offered “at a glance” within a certain mile range of a location.

Frustration breeds Innovation

In my frustration I started a data base in an excel document of courses and what they offered. That soon got clunky and I would have to reduce the file on the screen so much that I could barely read the rows and columns. It just wasn’t easy to manage and didn’t provide what I wanted.

My needs are simple. I want to be able to go to one place and find courses that offered stay and play packages in different parts of northern Michigan. To find other courses in that general area/region. To show me those courses on one screen so I could compare. That is where the website idea came up. Could we do a filter command that would allow me to sort my database in a way that provided the information I wanted in a format that worked for me. Turned out we could.

Golf Up North was Born

I never thought others would use golfupnorth.com or even find it. The site was to make my life easier and it has. I use it all the time to find courses to play at.

I should have suspected that if golf is in the domain name you will be found. Next thing you know folks are using the site the same as I am. And signing up for this newsletter.

Finding courses that may not be easily found any other way. Many of the smaller courses don’t have the marketing budget to advertise or join tourism groups. It can be hard to get their name out there. They subsist on word of mouth and locals. I have found that the places only the locals know about are typically the best whether it is a restaurant, beach, or a golf course.

I love going to courses that I have read about, and everyone raves about. Who wouldn’t want to golf some of the best courses in the country? But northern Michigan has some jewels hiding off the beaten path. If you haven’t explored more than just the “known” courses you are missing out.

Having so much fun we added more websites!

Discovered I enjoy writing and this led us to create a few blog sites - Adventures in Northern Michigan and Northern Michigan History.

Seeing the favorable response to Golf Up North, we have also created the same type of directory websites for other industries in northern Michigan - Up North Breweries, Up North Wineries. We are having a lot fun with this and have more sites coming in the near future. We love northern Michigan and happy to promote it!

Golf Up North's Top 5 Golf Balls

A few people have written us and suggested I do reviews on balls, clubs, etc. I laughed and laughed. While I appreciate the confidence, but let us be real, do you really want to take my word on clubs or balls? I am 7-8 years into playing and because my first used set of clubs were Callaway and the first balls I was given were Callaway, bet you can guess what I use. 😊

Since my giving intelligent and insightful reviews was not going to happen I decided I could take a different approach. I started watching what clubs, shoes, balls, etc. that golfers on courses I visited were using. Because I am very adept at being annoying, I would ask when I would run into them at the clubhouse, the turn, even the parking lot what they used and why.

I was Charming, Not Creepy at All!

Well, a little creepy LOL. This led to some remarkably interesting conversations. Did not change my mind about Callaway but wasn’t expecting it to. I have compiled all that data and working on putting it all together to share. The first one I completed was the top 5 golf balls. This is based on hundreds of golfers I talked to. You can read the top 5 picks on our website.

You may have noticed we are now an amazon affiliate. This helps us maintain the site and to continue to offer free schwag. We felt this was a better option than having a lot of annoying ads constantly popping up. If you are inclined and need some golf balls, use the links in the article or click on the images and order your golf balls on Amazon through those links. We receive a small percentage of the sale and it does not affect your price at all.

Follow us on Social Media

Join the discussion on Golf Up North Facebook Group

Let us know your favorite course, tips or anything golf related! We encourage golf courses to share their news and specials with our group.

You can also like and follow us on Facebook and/or Instagram where we share information on golf courses Up North and what we think are funny or interesting tidbits about golf.

Share Your Favorite Course With Us

We would love to hear about your favorite Course in the Upper Peninsula or Northern Lower Michigan. Send pictures of golfing your favorite course and a couple of sentences about why you love the course. We will share your pictures and recommendations with our readers and on our social media accounts. If you include a mailing address, we will send you some Golf Up North schwag as a thank you!! Send your pictures and comments to [email protected]

Find your Up North Golf Course

If you would like to find your perfect Up North golf course visit Golf Up North.

We hope you enjoyed our latest issue of The Golf Up North Newsletter.

Disclosure: We never tell a course who we are when we book and play a course. We do not ask nor will we accept free rounds to write about a course. We pay full price for our rounds for everyone in our group.

Golf Up North is part of the Up North Entertainment Group. Our family of sites also includes Up North Entertainment, Up North Wineries, Up North Breweries, Golfing Northern Michigan, Adventures in Northern Michigan, and Northern Michigan History.

[deadlymodern]

i. writer’s block | part 2

I had always loved the beach. I loved it so that it felt as though it was my own muse. It was common to carry my trusty notepad about and have it ready for the eminent epiphanies. Most times - I could swear it! - I believed I was the stones of Brindleton Bay, being drowned and damped, and surfaced anew in an endless inspiration stream that crashed onto me like mighty waves. 

That morning, however, I did not place my notepad in the pocket tied around my waist, fastened into my petticoat. It made me jittery to leave it at home, on my desk. Yet, I knew no waves would dance at my shore that day, as they had not done so ever since I read the news of Maisie's engagement. My words, I realised, were now widowed. I had drained them, leaving my mind - once overwhelmingly fruitful - stale, and idle, and meaningless. I supposed it was bound to happen, for I had inked all my passion in letters left unanswered.

I only noticed I'd been relentlessly pacing once Matthew called for me. I couldn't tell how long I'd been shuffling, dipping my feet in the sand.  All I knew is that, now, I stood - barefoot and unkempt - far from where I had prepared us a spot for an informal picnic. My agitation was but a mere distraction from the memories that swallowed me when in stillness. If I thought I was the gravel covering the beach, Maisie, then, was the whole world entirely. I saw her upon the rocks, swinging her limbs as she bravely jumped into the water. I saw her weeping, wading silently in the mourning gown she had worn at her grandmother's funeral. I saw her chasing seagulls, looking for empty shells, calling for my name, and seizing my hand as she stared in awe at the vastness of the sea… I could not make sense of what we were now. I could not, for it did not make sense at all.

Above all, I was most anxious to meet Matthew's beau. 'What a queer situation', I thought, 'my brother's sweetheart is a boy!' No, not a boy, but a man of my age. A man who had been brave enough to come all the way to meet Matthew's family. It was only I, of course, but still! I could not have imagined myself having tea alongside Maisie's younger sister if she were aware of our natures. But, then again, I was but plain and fearful, and terribly sentimental now. When Matthew cried "Bethany! Over here!" and I turned, and caught a glimpse of the figure walking beside him,  it lacked me bravery to look at their faces at first.

I was, oh, so timid that I felt I could weep. Of pride and joy, surely! Or, possibly, of jealousy, for I internally begged that the roles were reversed and it were I who brought Maisie as my sweetheart for Matthew to greet.  

previous | next | full story | recap

transcription under the cut

BETHANY: <exhales> Come now, take a deep breath. <inhales> It'll all be fine. It's only a simple introduction. <exhales> I've done this countless times before, I can do this. I can do this!

***

BETHANY: I c-can't do this.

MARY: What?

BETHANY: I… I think I'll go back. I can't do this…

MARY: Beth, come now! We've talked about this!

BETHANY: I… I'll try again next year. I'm not ready yet...

EDWARD: What is wrong?!

MARY: Don’t you worry, Ned, everything is fine. You boys go inside, we'll see you there.

PHILLIP: But… Beth, you said we were to have our first day together!

MARY: You too, Flip.  Go with your brothers, yes? She'll be alright, I promise. // Hey, what's with you...? You were excited just then!

BETHANY: I know, but now that we’re  here… <sighs> Now I’m honestly scared… // I can't face everyone. They’ll all think I’m an absolute idiot, ain’t they?

MARY: Oh, of course not! Harry also left school to help his family and everyone was delighted to see him return last year!

BETHANY: But Harry was away for a year, not six!

MARY: But--

BETHANY: I am terribly behind!

MARY: Beth--

BETHANY: They will all just… They will all laugh at me for not knowing the basics! // I will fall behind quickly! And they all are familiar with each other since they were little, I will never fit in with--

MARY: Bethy! You're doing it again! Take a deep breath, now!

BETHANY: <inhales>

MARY: And let it out.

BETHANY: <exhales>

MATTHEW: Good… Now, listen! We have a plan, remember? // You'll sit by me! You already know most of the girls, they are excited to have you. And if you ever struggle, we will help you! But you won't because you've studied! You've done all the school work we brought you! 

BETHANY: But I-- 

MARY: You've taken the exam and were placed on the exact grade you should be in! You are up to date! Now, don't you want to attend school?

BETHANY: I do… So very, very much.

MARY: Well, then, let's go! // Besides, Mama packed a lemon pie for us to share. You wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?

BETHANY: Did she?! That changes everything, you should’ve said so before! <giggles>

MARY: <laughs> It was meant to be a surprise, but you’ve made me spoil it. // Anyways, don’t you worry... Anyone comments about you being away and I shall smack them in the mouth!

BETHANY: <laughs> I should love to see that!

***

MATTHEW: Bethany! Over here!

#I have been writing a lot again lately #and I thought it would be nice to share it here #I might do that more often #but you don't need to read the extra written parts #to understand the story #so don't worry! #Hope you don't mind #long post tw #wtwc #wtwc; summer #i. writer's block #gen1 #bethany norman #mary mcneill #beth&mary #edward norman #phillip norman #norman legacy #ts4 story #sims 4 victorian

[definitelynotkatesblog]

Illustrated Man l Spencer Reid Fic

Pairing: Reader x Spencer Reid 

Category: Fluff

Summary: Spencer comes home from a particularly difficult case, and begins to doubt himself. Reader helps him unwind and helps paint a picture of all the great things about him.

A/N: Helloooooooo friends! Yet again, I thought of a single line of dialogue I really wanted to make work so I spit a thousand words around it to bring it to life lol. Anyways! This fic is free of reader pronouns and gender identifiers, so anyone can read this and make the “I”‘a their own ☺️

P.S. I’ll see what I can do about not disappearing again for weeks on end, but I make no promises

Content warning: None! Except Spencer has his shirt off? But that’s it!

WC: 2.4k

The sound of the door clicking shut and Spencer vacating his lungs of all air drew my head up from my book.

“You’re home!” I cheered, closing my book and getting up to greet him.

He lifted his satchel over his head and gave me a small smile that didn’t touch his eyes. I nodded, mostly to myself, knowing that this meant the case was harder than most. On nights like this, Spencer was hard to reach. I padded my way across the living room and wrapped my arms around him like he might slip away if I didn’t hold him tight enough.

I pulled his head down to rest on my shoulder as his arms snaked around me, wrapping himself in me, too. We stayed like that a while until he stood up and cupped my cheeks in his hands, bringing my face up for a kiss.

‘Hi,” he said softly.

I smiled into his palms. “Hi.”

I took his hands in mine and kissed his knuckles, then led him to our bedroom to get him out of his work clothes. I helped him out of his cardigan and dress shirt, then left him to do the rest while I got him some water. When I returned, he was laying face down across the bed in a pair of sweatpants. His head rested on his crossed arms, and turned to face me when I laid next to him on the bed. I propped my head up one arm and gave him a half smile.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

He thought for a moment before giving me a recap of the case, leaving out the gruesome details. I listened and ran my fingers across his back, alternating scratches with swirling patterns on the soft skin. Sometimes my hand would find itself at the nape of his neck and work through the hair there.

As he spoke, his voice became more resolved and tired. He worked so hard, but the things he saw, the things this job had put him through weighed on him. He was strong and incredibly smart, but just because he carried it well didn’t mean the load wasn’t heavy.

I took a deep breath and spoke gently, not wanting to offend him. “Maybe you can take some time off?” I suggested.

He shook his head, his chin brushing his hands folded under his chin.

“The team needs me. These victims and their families need me.”

I bit my tongue. I needed him, too. But this was hardly the time to bring that up.

“But this job,” he paused for a moment before continuing, “It takes pieces of me I can’t get back, and I’m scared all I am is the parts I’ve managed to pick up off of the ground.”

I closed my eyes and wished away the tears forming in my eyes. I heard him take a deep breath but he didn’t say anything else.

“I have an idea. Stay there.”

His head lifted and his eyes followed me around the room to our closet where my painting supplied resided.

“I’m going to paint you.”

“Paint me?”

I turned around, a towel in one hand and my box of paints and brushes in the other. “Yes. You’re gonna lay here and talk to me about anything in the world and I’m going to paint you.”

His eyes scanned the contents of my hands. I could see the gears in his head turning for a moment before he shrugged and gave a small nod.

“Okay.”

I ran a hand through his hair and bent down to kiss his forehead before climbing on the bed and straddling his thighs, setting my supplies on the towel beside us. “Talk to me.”

His head cocked to the side as he contemplated his answer.

“Not about work,” I clarified.

I felt his laugh beneath me. “Okay then, what would you like me to tell you about?”

I tapped my bottom lip with the handle of my paintbrush. “Hmmm. Read any good books lately?”

I could feel his smile without seeing it. If there was one thing Spencer loved more than saving lives and doing crossword puzzles in pen, it was reading. “I revisited some Ray Bradbury on the plane home,” he said.

“Mmm, tell me about it.”

He took a deep breath beneath me and began. “I re-read The Illustrated Man. It’s a compilation of short stories told through interactions between an omniscient narrator and a man covered in tattoos that each tell tales of events that have not happened yet. The tattoos are magic, and they come alive to tell the stories they depict. The stories are mostly science fiction, but have elements of pretty universal truths that Bradbury is famous for addressing.

For example, in one story explores the deep seeded longing of one man to take a trip to outer space. Something that, in this story, is attaintanable. He works his whole life to be able to fulfill this yearning, but he is torn between going or staying with his family, whom he also loves. It begs the question of the existence of duality of desire and duty.

Then, in another, there’s this incessant rain. And this group of men are searching for cover and sunshine, but it’s wearing them down and breaking them. These small raindrops, just water, becomes torture. It’s interesting how something as small as raindrops can break both canyons and men.”

I listen as he tells me about each story behind the man’s tattoos, about how they’re all different but important and lend themselves to portraying the then-futuristic perception world around us. Sometimes, his voice gets sad at the implications of the stories, but other times he seems to appreciate the sentiment behind them.

I dip my brushes and admire the way they drag across his soft skin, leaving a wake of vibrant pigments behind. I hmm and ahhh at appropriate times, partially paying attention but mostly glad that he’s able to enjoy himself and is able to think of something other than the darkness in his world.

We stayed in our respective positions for the better part of an hour- him laying on the bed with his head on his hands while I straddled the back of his thighs, stroking brushes across the lines of his back.

When I’m finally finished, I roll my neck and place my hands on the small of his back, taking a moment to take it in. The idea of creating a universe compelled me; there was so much beauty and so much unknown in the expanse of space. The concept seemed fitting for what I hoped to help him understand. I’d mixed a navy blue paint for a base, and created swirls of light with yellows, creams, and whites to create a brighter contrast and background for the more intricate featured parts. One section had books, a coffee cup, a molecular model I’d hoped was an actual chemical, and a small red apple.

The next was a canyon, modeled after one of the scenic drives we’d taken the last time we visited Vegas to see his mom at her new care facility. We parked at a lookout spot and watched the sun set- gorgeous oranges, yellows, and pinks painted the sky over the rock. It was at that moment I’d never been more jealous of Spencer’s perfect memory.

Another section, closer to the bottom curve of his spine was a silhouette outline of the Christmas card the team had sent out two years ago. Spencer had a copy hanging by a CalTech magnet on the fridge, another on his desk, and a folded and fading copy in his wallet.

He loved that photo – the way it captured their joyous spirits and ability to be carefree despite the things that initially brought them together.

I took a deep breath and playfully patted his bottom. “All done!”

He threw a boyish grin over his shoulder and handed me his phone.

I snapped a few pictures, holding the phone up by my chin to capture the expanse of his back, then a bit closer to the individual parts. I passed the phone back over his shoulder and brought my clasped hands up under my chin. “Okay, so, if you don’t like it, that’s okay you can wash-” I rushed, but stopped short when I felt his breath hitch from underneath me.

He was silent for a moment, staring at the phone in his hand.

I took a deep breath. “Spencer, you contain multitudes. You’re a loving son, an amazing friend, a brilliant profiler, a great cat-sitter, an instant mashed potato extraordinaire, and my favorite boyfriend.”

I dusted an invisible speck of dust off his shoulder before continuing, giving my words a moment to sink in. I needed him to hear me, and to know these truths. “You are so much more than the things you don’t love about yourself. You are more than this job, you are more than the obstacles you’ve had to overcome. They’re a part of who you are, yeah, but they’re not all that you are.”

I shook my head, though he couldn’t see it. The knowledge of the man beneath me not knowing he was deeply loved seemed so wrong.

“You are so incredibly loved, Spencer. The people in your life are so lucky to know you and to be loved by you. Each and every one of your friends is changed and is better for having known you, believe me.”

He was silent for a short while, pinching and zooming in on the screen to see the different parts of him illustrated in his skin. He cleared his throat a few times. Part of me was grateful I couldn’t see his face, and he couldn’t seem mine. Though, I didn’t need to see the way his mind was working to know he was trying to find a flaw in my logic.

The amount of love I had for the man beneath me threatened to spill over in the form of tears.

“Favorite boyfriend?” he asked finally, feigning insult.

I laughed. “So far, yeah.”

I knew that wasn’t the only thing he’d heard, but probably was the only thing he could bring himself to comment on.

I scrambled off of my perch unceremoniously, stretching for a moment before straightening up and offering my hand. He laid with his chin resting on his fists stacked, staring at me for a moment.

“What?” I asked with a small huff.

“Being loved by you is one of the greatest joys of my life.”

I felt my mouth pop open, a bit taken aback at such a bold admission. A sweet smile touched his lips while he watched me try to scoop my heart back into my chest. He climbed off the bed gingerly, careful not to rock the tray of paint and brushes with his long limbs.

His large hand wrapping around mine grounded me from cloud nine and I could feel the smile forming on my lips. I turned and started heading towards the bathroom.

“Come,” I said, pulling him along behind me.

When we arrived in the small room, I halted and spun him so the back of his thighs were resting against the porcelain countertop and I was flush against his front. My hands came to rest on the edges of the countertop, caging him between my arms. I looked up at him, squinting slightly.

“I’d like to take a picture, is that okay?”

I knew Spencer was wary of having his picture taken; most of our pictures together were candids I’d puppy eyed my way into him letting me keep.

He narrowed his eyes back at me. My lower lip made an appearance, coupled with a knitted brow and cautious look from under my lashes.

He laughed and shook his head. “Okay.”

Before he could change his mind, I grabbed my phone and rushed back to my place in front of him, pressing my front to his.

I snaked my arms around his torso so our chests were together while his back bearing my painting faced the mirror. My arms poking out from between his arm and torso space made him look like an alien, but placing one hand on his hip while the other held my phone gave the pose a more artistic feel.

I snapped a few pictures, messing with the lighting and exposure, playing with shadows from the vanity and positioning him every which way. Every once in a while, I’d pull my arms from him and show him a few shots I liked but they never felt like the one.

He smiled and nodded encouragingly, taking my direction to tilt this way or arch his shoulder that way. I started to feel for him, we’d been there for 15 minutes at least.

I pouted and let my head fall back dramatically. “I give up,” I whined.

He gave a small smile and leaned down to kiss me. I met his lips with a smile of my own before resting my head against his chest.

“Try one more time,” he encouraged.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him again. I poked my head out so it was just visible behind his arm, resting my chin on his bicep as I focused my phone camera to capture the two of us and my work on his back.

“Smile,” I said before snapping a few shots. Spencer’s body shook with his laugh as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head. My thumb grazed the shutter button, capturing the moment.

It was perfect.

His back was illuminated perfectly by the soft glow of the vanity mirror lighting, the muscles in his back tensed when he bent down, creating dips and curves that separated the focus points brilliantly. My hand wasn’t posed, just gently resting on his hip, a soft touch that lent itself perfectly to the lightness of the moment.

I pulled myself from around him and held the phone between us. His hand found the small of my back and he pulled me closer to him, sealing our lips together. Our lips were unhurried, enjoying the softness of the moment and the love between us. His free hand cupped my cheek as we broke apart. His eyes bore into mine, both pairs slightly glossy.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

I nodded and buried my head into his chest so he wouldn’t see the fresh tears springing in my eyes. His arms wrapped around me as he pressed more kisses to the top of my head.

——

Let’s talk about it!

#criminal minds #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds fan fiction #spencer reid #Spencer Reid fluff #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #gn reader #criminal minds self insert #Spencer Reid gif #criminal minds gif #my writing

[anime-pro-shitposter]

wonder egg ended and I’m disappointed <3

shit where do I even begin okey:

I’m not gonna bother taking screenshots i’m too mad and i want to rant. *i ended up too frustrated and took screenshots*

functionalities:

a.. goddamn.. recap.. AGAIN.. they literally have a recap in the original run what is this mess of a studio and not even 10 mins they did a whole 25 mins recap.. my blood is boiling.. next and well most importantly the art is really bad and i get oh we shouldnt be so pissed at artists for the time frame but my god they had 3 months and the ep was literally 20 mins (cuz of the 25 mins RECAP) so what excuse? the backgrounds are mostly stupid no art just colors, and if u look more critically they have too many scenes from the back or far away.. there are bits with a weird place where neiru and ai stand? frill was literally added there for no reason? and even when they viewed neirus dream it was literally just a voice over 😭😭 we didnt EVEN GET TO SEE HER SISTER😭😭 im ah…… when ai threw the phone it was Literally Black Outside my god thats shit and the movement was shit. the last last like 5 mins were fine but honestly in comparison to what i know they can do (ep11 with frill) its just underwhelming to say the least. idk just watch it and tell me this isnt stupid and disrespectful. sheesh.

seriously seriously look wtf is this?????

WHAT IS THAT??? so bland and feels so not in touch with what the series is so far art wise.. eh

Storywise:

I dont mind the way neiru is an AI and I mean she alluded to this since long, however I guess there was a real neiru at one point??? how does she have a sister and the fact that we got ZERO explanation about that? also she isnt the type to just get up and leave did she trade herself/her life? wtf happened idk im way too confused.. like did frill take her? and we still didn’t get ANYTHING about how frill can even manipulate any of this no explanation about dot and hyphen nothing it literally answered nothing just made us weirded out by the friends suddenly deciding they arent that much of friends afterall!!

but what actually pisses me off is ai refusing the call.. You Want Me To Believe that????? IT MAKES NO SENSE completely out of character. ah yes the girl who she has been calling foe about a million times she Refuses her Call because?? she’s an AI? since when is ai that shallow? and rika’s reaction too? like that’s it? and she never even went back to neirus house? wtf its a complete and utter mess. ai just got her whole character arc demolished right in front of us. the stupidness of the ending that she transferred schools? for what? how did the friend with blonde hair travel through parallel worlds? neiru got her sister back but not her? they literally dropped story points from before…

we never got to see how rika and momoe got over their intense fears? they just did? had to? IDK ITS Shit and im beyond mad they did them dirty.. they were barely even mentioned and sidelined completely to fit this weird conflict about neiru that no one asked for.. literally the last of rika we see is her crying saying she’ll die of pain FROM THE BACK..

we dont see how they deal with their friends that they sacrificed so much for no longer knowing them.. we barely see any pain at all about that even and it gets also pushed to the side. even if lets say neirus story is worth exploring just explore it dont vaguely mention it and give no explanation and NO EVEN VISUALS for it but the shitty empty abstract place like wtf.. idk im sad yall

lastly they brushed the mf teacher to the SIDE like literally acting like he was nothing.. the whole story point of him was weird and unfitting honestly but i was fine with it because well they are kids and he is a bit weird but the dude didn’t exactly Do Something.. but alsooososososso the reveal of the Big Big Question right? the one of why did koito kill herself? and we get this stupid 2 seconds lines from the teacher saying she slipped and fell.. she.. slipped.. and fell.. and that she was threatening him which okey okey but.. she slipped.. let that sink in

final thoughts:

I feel robbed seriously.. wonder egg meant so much to me and I could see the potential it had so many right elements and seriously could’ve been great. exploring girlhood, pain, sewerside, relationships, friendships, love, unrequited love, gender issues, and much much much more. making such lovable characters then smashing them on the ground. idk what went on inside the damn studio im going to look now but i am gonna learn japanese just to send them a bullying letter for this. i appreciate all those that worked truly but i still think this is not the best that they can do im sure of it.

Thank you for reading I would rant more but this has gotten too long :D byee

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg priority special #wep special #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #wep neiru #wep momoe #wepR

[myhockeyworld87]

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 8

Word Count: 4,412

POV: Jamie

Warnings: Language, Angst

Recap: Things were going well for our high school sweethearts, that was until a backyard BBQ party. Our reader heard Caitlyn and Sara talking about her relationship with Jamie, and what she heard didn’t sit well. Let’s see if everything will be ruined or not?

Notes: So here we are the final chapter (though there will be an epilogue). Thank you guys so much for being patient with me on this one. I fully expet that this will not get any notes or reblogs but I seriously don’t care. I know that some of you really wanted to see how this story ended and I wanted to give you that. I loved this story from the start and I wasn’t just not going to end it. For those of you that are upset that I wrote this, please refrain from coming in my inbox at me, I’ve worked over 30 hours in 2 days and don’t need your hate this week. (Also if there are typos that’s why, my proofing suffered) At any rate, I hope those of you that do read it enjoy watching the pieces all fall together. As always Happy Reading!!! 

MASTERLIST

Sidenote: Also (Y/NN) = Your Nickname (Y/LN) = Your Last Name

"Hey Segs, have you seen (Y/N)?"

 Tyler cocked his head back before answering you. "Really? You're not attached to her side?" You didn't feel the need to respond and instead just gave him a death glare. Tyler just clasped your shoulder and drew you close to him. "Come on Chubbs, I'm just teasing, but you haven't let her out of your sight all night. It's kind of cute." You wanted to argue, but you might have kept her in your line of vision since the moment she got here, except when she was off with Jessi. Which is who you should be looking for since that's who (Y/N) had last been talking to.

 You tried to move out of Tyler's grasp to do just that, but the man continued on. "I mean it, man. I haven't seen you like this before. I'm really happy for you."

 "Thanks, Seggy." Most of your teammates felt the same way. They liked (Y/N), but then what was not to like. She was smart, funny, outgoing, and beautiful, and on top of that, she was a brilliant and talented doctor. Damn, you were lucky that she had given you another chance. There was no way you were going to screw this one up.

 "There she is," Tyler pointed out, bringing you out of your musings. "And there she goes." He added as (Y/N) literally headed out the front door. You were striding towards the door before you even had time to think about it. You tried to calm your racing heart, telling yourself that maybe she'd spilled something on her clothes and that she was going home to change, or that she'd suddenly remembered she'd left the curling iron on. The feeling in the pit of your stomach was saying something different though. Something felt off. It was the way she ran to the front door not making eye contact with a single person and how she shut the door, not a full-out slam, but definitely done with more force than necessary.

 "Hey Jamie, how about we…" you didn't even spare Caitlyn a second glance. You all but shoved her out of the way when she tried to step in front of the door. This time you were the one slamming it shut, letting her know that she was not welcome to follow you.

 "(Y/N)!" you screamed, as she was halfway in the neighbor's yard, yet she didn't turn around. "(Y/N)!" You were in an all-out run now, panic kicking in as she wasn't answering you back. By the time you reached her she was at her door ready to punch in the key code. "(Y/N) didn't you hear me?" You grabbed her upper arm, as you caught your breath.

 "Leave me alone, Jamie."

 It was at that moment that you were able to turn her to face you. Tears were rolling down her face. "Jesus, what's wrong?" You tried to hold her close to your chest, comfort her, but she wasn't having any of it, as she pulled free of your hold on her.

 "What's wrong?" She shouted indignantly. "What's wrong, is that I never want to see you again."

 Her words felt like a slap to your face, and you flinched back as if she had actually struck you. "I…I…," now was not the time to become tongue-tied. "What did I do? Tell me and I'll make it right. I swear it." You went to touch her, but she jumped back out of your reach, shrugging you off. You couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening again. You wouldn't let it happen. "Talk to me (Y/N)."

 Arms crossed she stood there defiantly, her whole demeanor changing. Gone was the weeping woman from moments ago, as she seemed to turn her whole wrath on you. "I'm sick and tired of it, Jamie. Am I just some sort of game to you? Is that all I am? All I ever was?"

 "What are you talking about? Of course, you're not some game." Surely, she had to see how much she meant to you and how much none of this made sense at the moment. "If you'll just tell me what happened…"

 "Like you don't know. Your little playing dumb game isn't going to work this time." She shoved your chest hard, causing you to stumble back. "Now get off my property." (Y/N) took advantage of the moment, opening the door and whisking away inside. She was just about to slam it shut, and lock you out more than likely, when you pushed the heel of your hand hard against the door, stopping her. "I said leave me alone."

 You ignored her protests, shoving your way inside. "It's not going to work this time. I'm not leaving. I don't care if it takes days or weeks but I'm not giving up on us this time."

 A bitter scoff left her lips as she crossed the entryway and headed deeper into her home. You stalked her every move, following her to the kitchen. "You can drop the act you know. Now that I know everything there's no need to pretend."

 "I'm not pretending. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about so how could I be." You could see the anger bubbling up inside her. What or who had made her question your feelings for her was beyond you, but one way or another you were going to get to the bottom of this. "Just tell me what happened?" You pleaded yet again. "Or I'll go back over to that house and question every damn person until I find out the truth."

 "The truth?" she laughingly mocked. "That's rich considering you've been lying to me."

 "What the hell have I lied about?" Your brain was working overtime going through every word that you'd said to her since bumping into her on the road that day. Sure, you'd maneuvered your way into being her guide around the arena but could you really consider that a lie? Then there was Jordie and Jessi's party, you'd used it to your advantage to see her again; it was a slight deception but harmless. You didn't think either of those things would cause her to be this angry with you. "Ok, so I begged Jordie to invite you to his house because I had to see you again (Y/N). I just wanted a chance to be with you again. I didn't think you'd be this upset about it."

 "You what?" You could see her processing your words, and it registered then that that wasn't the lie she spoke of. What else could it be? "So, Jordie and Jessi are in on it too? I thought she was my friend."

 You knew she spoke of her developing friendship with Jess and you didn't want her questioning that. "They only did it because they know how much I cared about you. How much I still do. How much I love you." You'd held back the words the past two days, knowing that she wasn't ready to hear them just yet. Now there was no reason. She needed to know how you felt. That your feelings for her had never gone away, not even one day in fourteen years.

 "Those words fall so easily off your lips. Do you even know what love is?" She spat the allegation at you and it stung like a thousand bees all descending on you at once.

 "How can you say that?" You walked closer to her, and she turned away. "I loved you all those years ago, just as I do now. I never stopped. Maybe back then I was stupid to realize how much our love meant to me, but I'm not young and naïve anymore. I know you're the only one for me and if you would just look at me right now, you would see that I'm telling you the truth." Gently, you touched her shoulder urging her to turn. She did. Her eyes raising to meet yours, both shining with tears and you prayed to God she would see the love you had for her there. "I love you, (Y/N). I always have and I always will."

 She sucked in a breath at your admission and you knew that somehow, someway deep down she saw the love you had for her. "I…I…" She pivoted then on her heel, walking away, catching herself on the kitchen island as she took deep gulps of air.

 Carefully, as if you were approaching a timid animal, for in essence (Y/N) was just as fragile, you made your way to her. You placed your hands on her shoulders, not asking her to turn to you, but needing to touch her and comfort her in any way you could. "It's ok if you don't love me. I can wait. I'll wait as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

 She bowed her head and you could hear her sniffle. It took everything in you to not gather her up in your arms, but you knew she'd only reject that right now. "I don't understand how you can say those things," she finally whispered. "I know you don't want me here."

 "Don't want you here? Who told you that?" She shrugged and this time you twirled her to face you. "Whoever told you that, lied. I would die without you here." The laugh she gave was hollow and you knew she didn't believe you. "I'm serious (Y/N). You live two houses from me and it's too far. I want to be with you every minute of every hour of the day."

 "But they said you were trying to get me fired."

 Your eyes grew round like saucers and now you were the one that had anger coursing through your veins. Who would say such a thing? Who would want to destroy your happiness like this? Though none of it mattered at the moment. The only thing that did was the woman in front of you. "(Y/N), I don't want you fired. That's the last thing I want. If I could I'd have you at every practice and every game; home and away." With a tilt of her chin, you raised her head up to look you in the eye once more. "You are a brilliant doctor and the Stars are lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you." It was the first time since this all started that her lips turned up in a slight smile, before quickly going to a look of confusion.

 "But they said you went and talked to the owner about getting rid of me."

 You laughed. Probably not the best thing to do at the moment considering the scowl that crossed (Y/N)'s face. "The truth is, I did go talk to Tom, but not about getting you fired. I went to see if it was possible for you to come on the road with us as well." She shook her head in disbelief. "I told you (Y/N), I don't want to be without you. I'll call him right now and he can tell you that himself." You reached into your pocket to grab your phone to do just that, though she clasped your wrist to stop you.

 "No, it's ok Jame. I believe you." Silently you thanked God for this small favor. Maybe if she believed you about this, she would know you were telling the truth about everything else. (Y/N) started to pace around the kitchen, her mind working overtime again. "I know it was fourteen years ago, Jame, but it feels like it's happening all over again."

 It did feel that way. "So, let's not let history repeat itself. Let's work this out (Y/N)." She stopped in tracks, then gave a small nod.

 "Ok."

 "Maybe we should start at the beginning." She gave her agreement, but you clarified. "I think we need to go back fourteen years."

 "You think that will change anything?"

 You shrugged, not knowing if it would or not, but you thought it best that the two of you get everything out in the open. "Yes, no…I don't know. It's worth a try." It would hurt opening up old wounds but maybe talking about them would finally give her a chance to heal and in turn, give you both a chance at happiness.

 You blew out a frustrated breath before starting. "I know it was wrong to talk about what happened between us with Jordie. I should've just kept it between us."

 (Y/N) closed her eyes and you could see the pain of what had happened written all over her face. "What did you say to him?"

 "Nothing like what was going around the school; I swear it." You could see she didn't believe you. Given what was said, you could see why. "Look all I told Jamie was that it was the most amazing night of my life and…" you started to blush at reveling this next part. "And I thanked him for the couple of tips he gave me." There was a smirk on her face at your admission and you could see that she wanted to ask what they were but she also knew now was not the time to get into it. "I didn't realize that Connor was in the locker room and overheard everything."

 "Conner Barnhart? You mean Alyssa's brother?"

 "Yeah," It was still hard to believe that (Y/N)'s brother, Justin, had married Alyssa for you remembered how much of a menace she'd been to not only (Y/N) but yourself. Alyssa had tried, on more than one occasion, after you and (Y/N) broke up, to go out with you, though you'd refused her at every turn.

 "So, let me get this straight. You told Connor that you only dated me because I was easy? Did you think that would keep him quiet or something?"

 "I never said that, to him or anyone."

 "But then…who did?" You'd like to know the answer to that as well.

 "I'm not sure. I threw Connor up against the lockers and threatened to beat the shit out of him if he told anyone. Which is how I ended up suspended for the next three days." You can still remember how pissed your parents had been when they found out.

 "I thought you were sick?"

 You ran your hands through your hair as you remembered the look of disappointment on your parent's faces when they were called to the principal's office. "That's what we told everyone. The principal agreed not to have it on my formal record so that it didn't hurt my chances to get into college. At the time I thought I'd be playing hockey at some university and having a black mark on my transcript might hurt those chances. So, they agreed to keep me out of school for three days. Hence, my mom not letting me talk to you when you called." It had been the longest three days of your life back then. If you only knew back then that those three days would lead to fourteen years without (Y/N), you would've done things differently. "I wrote it all in that letter to you."

 "But I ripped it up and threw it away." You nodded. It had been that moment that you knew you had no hope of getting back together with her and had given up. "So, let me get this straight. The only thing Connor ever knew was that we had sex."

 "And that it was amazing." It probably didn't need to be said, but you were trying to get on her good side after rehashing all these old memories.

 "It was," she admitted and you wanted to add that it still was, but again the timing seemed off. "He had to have made up the rest, but why would he do that?"

 "I'm wondering that myself. He didn't have anything to gain that's for sure. Though I couldn't follow through with my threat after being suspended." Though you wanted to, more than anything. If the little shithead had played hockey, instead of soccer you would've checked him so hard into the boards, that he wouldn't be playing for a least a week. It would've been worth the five-minute penalty.

 "Someone obviously wanted to break us up, just the same as tonight."

 "(Y/N), Who said I wanted you fired and all the rest of that shit?"

 It was her turn to blush this time, though, for the life of you, you couldn't figure out why. "I overheard someone say it."

 You could care less about her eavesdropping, that didn't matter. "Who said it?"

 "Caitlyn and Sara." Red hot anger coursed through you, at the thought of these two girls making up lies to tear you and (Y/N) apart. The scary thing was it had almost worked. You wanted to march back over there only to throw them out of your house, but you could deal with them later. Right now, the only woman that mattered was the one in front of you, who looked as though she was ashamed to have believed them in the first place. "I'm sorry Jamie. I should've never believed a word they said. I was just too blind to see that they were lying."

 This time when you took her in your arms she came easily. It felt so good to just hold her again. "It's ok," you told her in a soft soothing voice while you dropped a kiss on her head. "Given our past, I can see why you were skeptical. I just hope that you can trust me going forward."

 She looked up into your eyes. "I do Jamie. I trust you. I should've trusted you fourteen years ago. I was stupid to think that you would say all those things after what we had shared that night. It's my fault we weren't together all this time."

 "You weren't stupid. I should've been more aware of where I was and waited to talk to Jordie at home in private. I'm just as much to blame for what happened. I just don't understand why people want to break us apart when we're meant to be together." You leaned down and dropped a kiss to her lips. It was soft and tender, reminiscent of all those years ago when you'd first kissed her. You wanted to kiss her like this every day from now until the end of time but she pulled back from it, too quick for your liking.

 "I think I know who started those rumors back in high school."

 "Who?"

 "I need to make a call to see if I'm right." She searched her pockets then the house, looking you assumed for her cell phone. "Shit, I left it in your bedroom."

 You took her hand and started for the door. "Let's go."

 "No, wait. Everyone is still there and I probably look a mess, just give me five minutes to freshen up." She headed for the stairs and you followed.

 "I'm not letting you out of my sight." She laughed, the sound one of the best things you'd ever heard.

 It took a little longer than the five minutes she'd anticipated as you showered her with kisses every so often, but soon you were headed across the lawn and back to your house. When you saw both Sara and Caitlyn as you walked through the front door, you stopped. It took every ounce of willpower in your body to not say anything to them. Instead, you clasped (Y/N)'s hand and spun her body into yours, before stealing her breath away in a searing kiss. You heard a few cheers from your teammates as you kissed her passionately, and you were pretty sure you heard Caitlyn stomp her feet before slamming your front door shut. Good riddance.

 Once you were tucked away in your bedroom, the party still going on downstairs, (Y/N) grabbed her phone to make the call she spoke about. "Hey Justin," she said to her brother. "Is Alyssa there?" He must have replied yes then went off to find her. It was then that (Y/N) put the call on speaker.

 "Hey (Y/N), what's up?"

 "This might sound stupid, Alyssa, but I have to ask you something. Please be honest with me."

 "Ok."

 "Back in high school did you start that rumor about Jamie only sleeping with me because I was easy?" You started to put the pieces together as you waited for Alyssa to answer.

 There was a long pause on the other end before she said anything. "I'm so sorry (Y/N). I was young and stupid…and…god can you ever forgive me?"

 You looked at (Y/N), who looked back at you. It would be her call to forgive her sister-in-law, not yours. "What's done is done," (Y/N) finally told her. "We can't change it, but why did you do it?"

 "I…I wanted Jamie." You had already figured that part out and you were pretty sure (Y/N) had as well. "So, when Connor told me what he overheard in the locker room, I started the rumor. I thought if I could break you two up, that he'd want to date me. Obviously, that backfired. I'm just so sorry I hurt you both in the process."

 "We all make dumb mistakes Alyssa. I just wish you would've told me sooner."

 "I know. I should've said something back then or at least when I got together with Justin, but I didn't want you to hate me. Say you don't hate me, please." You could tell Alyssa was crying in the background. She was going to have a lot of explaining to do to Justin as well.

 "I don't hate you." (Y/N) told her. Part of you wanted to hate Alyssa for destroying what you had with (Y/N), but then it was so long ago and what you had now with her was so much better. "But I can't forgive you right now either. It's going to take time."

 "I understand," Alyssa sobbed into the phone. "For what it's worth I am truly sorry."

 "I know, and thank you for telling me the truth now. We'll talk soon." With that (Y/N) hung up the phone.

 "I'm sorry, (Y/N)," you offered by way of apology for everything that she'd gone through tonight.

 "Oh Jame," she said, grabbing your hands in hers in the process. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you. I should've known that you wouldn't have said those things about me then or even now. Instead, I doubted us." She took both your hands in hers, then looked you straight in the eye. "Can you ever forgive me?"

 "There's nothing to forgive. I told you before, I'm as much to blame. It's in the past and I'd rather concentrate on our future." Taking your joined hands, you brought hers to your lips and tenderly kissed them, hoping and praying that she wanted a future with you as well.

 "I'd like that too, Jame." Cupping her face, you brought her lips to yours. Downstairs, the party continued on as you could hear music and people chattering in the background, yet ensconced here in your bedroom, it felt as though you were the only two that existed in this world. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that, mouths just fused together, loving one another.

 "We should probably go back down," you suggested even though you wanted nothing more than to simply lay (Y/N) on your bed and make love to her until neither of you could see straight. She nodded and you both got up off the bed from where you had been sitting, though you couldn't resist kissing her one more time.

 “We should probably go back down,” you suggested even though you wanted nothing more than to simply lay (Y/N) on your bed and make love to her until neither of you could see straight. She nodded and you both got up off the bed from where you had been sitting. Taking her hand, you entwined your fingers with her then headed to the door. (Y/N) stopped though and tugged you back towards her.

 “Before we go down there, there’s just one more thing I have to say.” You took a deep breath, still half afraid that she was going to run and never come back this time. “You said something earlier, that I can’t get out of my head.” You tried to replay the events of the last hour over in your head but so many things were said you couldn’t be sure what she was referring to, and so you furrowed your brow in question. “You said you never stopped loving me.” It was true. If someone would’ve said that to you years ago, you would’ve laughed at them and shrugged off their comments, but the moment (Y/N) walked back into your life, you knew that she was your first and only love. You went to tell her that but she continued. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I never stopped loving you either.” A grin that would stretch across the Grand Canyon took over your face and your arms wrapped around her waist to pull her close. “I pushed so many others out of my life and I’m only realizing now, that it’s because they weren’t you. I tried to close off my heart to you when I ran into that first day in Dallas, but you managed to burst through and not give up on us, and I’m so thankful you didn’t. I know I said before that I wanted to try to give us a shot, but there’s no one else in this world for me. I love you with my whole heart and soul, Jamie Benn.”

 Your heart was pounding so hard, you thought it would beat right out of its chest, but then that would be fine because you knew that (Y/N) would be right there to catch it. “I love you too (Y/N), with all that I am and so much more.” Your mouth came down on hers and though you’d kissed a thousand times before, this was one special. It spoke not only of love but of pain, of sorrow but joy, of all things that had been and all that would come tomorrow, for your future was here with her and there was no place else that you’d rather be.  

#ruined the series #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn imagines #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfic #jamie benn fanfic #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction

[prompt-master]

The Chihiro analysis maybe? That sounds excellent.

So this analysis will be going into two things. Why the male Fujisaki interpretation also has a good moral for trans/genderqueer folk and why Fujisaki's story ultimately is not about gender so equating it to gender discourse is a massive disservice to the chapter.

As I'll be talking about a male interpretation, I will be using he/him pronouns for Fujisaki. If this is something upsetting to you, then this is your warning to not read it. But I do reccomend it, as this is a moral I have not really seen the fandom ever talk about.

Let's start with a quick recap of the story from a male Fujisaki perspective.

Fujisaki was a boy who was bullied and harassed from a very young age for his appearance. Fujisaki is small, meek, and feminine. This led to a lot of bullying because of how he doesn't look like a real boy, and how he's just a weak pansy. As a result, Fujisaki thought it would be easier to present as a girl, since people thought he was one anyway and couldn't respect him as a boy. This way life became a lot easier if he just fit into how society deemed him. Not only did he lose the bullying but he got the added benefits of people being especially kind to him for being a cute girl.

Then cut to the KG. Around chapter 2 when faced with having his secret exposed, Fujisaki feels inspired to take matters into his own hands and be himself again. He wants to be strong and to feel strong, so that he can face the others and tell them who he really is.

Fujisaki however gets a bit misguided about his idealism of what being strong is here. He was told his entire life that he is not a real boy because he is WEAK. So Fujisaki interpreted this as PHYSICAL. It especially grew when he met Owada, the manliest guy in the cast who is absolutely physically strong.

Idolizing Owada, he meets with him to ask for training in order to feel like enough of a man that he can confidently tell the truth. This in turn triggers Owada, who kills him.

You may be wondering how this story could still be good for trans folk and genderqueer folks if Fujisaki is a cis male that was crossdressing. Simply put it. Its because of Fujisakis strength to go against what society has told him to present as. This is the whole reason that Owada gets angry enough to suddenly kill him, because mentally he is far weaker than Fujisaki.

Fujisaki decided to do something HARD. He decided he would present AS HE WANTS. It doesn't MATTER if Fujisaki is feminine. It doesn't matter if the world says he's too weak to be a real guy. What matters is that Fujisaki wants to respected as a guy, and he is willing to fight to get there.

That ABSOLUTELY is a good moral for trans folk, genderqueer folk, and even cis folk for the idealism of not conforming to gender roles if it doesn't make you happy.

Amd this is also why I think that watering down Fujisaki's story to gender discouse is a massive disservice. It isn't about if hes a boy or if shes a girl. Its about how he was willing to BE HIMSELF even if the world told him not to be. Its about how Fujisaki is MENTALLY STRONG and how he never even NEEDED to be physically strong. He just needed to be himself!

Thats why Owada is such an important part of this story. Because we are meant to perceive Fujisaki at first glace as weak, and Owada at first glance as strong (danganronpa at the end of the day is character tropes that go beyond their trope).

You DO NOT know what lies behind people. You don't. The ones you believe are weak may be strong and the ones you believe are strong may be weak.

THAT is what ch 2 is about. Its about two people and their mental strengths clashing with their outward appearance.

Of course, all interpretations of Fujisaki are valid. I am not saying you can't see her as a trans girl! But I see no point in attacking others when both are perfectly fine interpretations on a moral stand point. This goes for both sides.

#ask #danganronpa #chihiro fujusaki #chihiro gender discourse #analysis #personally i see fujisaki as someone who if he had lived hed eventually not care about gender presentation at all #and go by all pronouns #i find it interesting how it feels the fandom believes the trans girl interpretation is morally superior #when BOTH are really good in terms of morality #esp since again its about STRENGTH #and honestly i find it interesting how on both boy and girl fujisaki sixes #i notice people woobifying him making him this uwu lil thing #sometimes i think about how it somewhat feels as though people saw him and thought 'its ok we know youre not a boy' #which is interestimg because by this intepretation its exactly why he had to hide #of course i understsnd the trans girl perspective and in fact i quite enjoy it a lot #esp since the chapter leads you to believe shes trans for a bit before the reveal. #but yeah like i said i feel even the boy fujisaki crowd falls to the trap of aww uwu baby #making fujisaki a crybaby who needs his hand held and is the 'son' of ishimondo #why cant fujisaki be feminine AND strong? like he is. #fujisaki mentally is more mature than ishimaru and owada i would say. #AND hes their age as well. #he deserves the respect he was trying to get! #yknow what i mean? #gender discourse #ask to tag

[darkpoisonouslove]

Sparks of Life Opera Edition

I am still not over Singing a New Tune so I am going to recap for you the experience of writing that fic because there were many interesting moments over the course of those three days. Lemme start from the beginning.

- So I’m writing a fic that mostly focuses on sexual stuff but it is also mainly happening in an opera so my first order of business is to figure out what that opera is. Both the building itself and the show they’ll be watching. Because that is of utmost importance.

- I have already mentioned that SoL is located in New York so I looked up New York operas. I do not vibe with research most of the time but I vibe even less with having to come up with names for any kind of thing so research was definitely the choice here.

- I somehow get results about operas that are in the other end of the USA. That was not great. I get to the Metropolitan Opera House at last (which I might have known existed if I cared about opera in any way, shape or form) which is great! I am so close to starting the fic! Just need to figure out what opera they’re watching. Because I need that for reasons.

- I end up downloading a PDF with the seatings inside the Met Opera so that I can figure out where the hell they will be seating. But I leave that for later. I look through the actual plays that they’re having while absolutely failing with the navigation of their site. I find a show that catches my eye. It’s called The Magic Flute. I have zero idea what it’s about so I read the Wikipedia summary just to be aware. It mentions that a character has a moment when he’s singing about his search for a wife and I think “Perfect! Foreshadowing!” (since this is set pretty early on in Griffin and Valtor’s relationship).

- I decide to look up the opera and see if I can find a part of it on youtube to figure out how it will sound. I am pretty sold on it already because of the summary I read and also because it implies there is magic as a subject in it which would call back to canon. Still, I look it up. I find a full version of it on the internet with English subtitles... It is 2 hours and 35 minutes:

- “Wow, okay... that’s a bit much. But hey, it has got subtitles in English. Maybe I’d actually watch that... once I’m done with the fic. I’m just gonna listen to a little bit while I finish my research, though, so I can have an idea of what it sounds like.”

- Now it’s time to open the engagement fic - Enough to Be Yours - because I don’t remember what year they got engaged in and I need that to reverse engineer the year in which this fic is taking place so that I can make sure that The Magic Flute was being performed back then. I don’t have an year stated in the engagement fic, though. I have a date - 9th October which is Friday and that means the year is 2015. Great! So I need to figure out if they were performing The Magic Flute back in 2010. Great.

- That takes a shit ton of time and nerves as it turns out. I spent over 4 hours just researching the logistics for this fic and a lot of that was unnecessary but I’m getting ahead of myself.

- I cannot find out whether they were performing the Magic Flute in 2010. I get results of it being broadcast in English (for the first time, I believe) in 2012 but that is way too late for this fic to be happening. Also, they are speaking of a broadcast which just doesn’t work for me. So I am having a hard time over here.

- I find a list of the new titles in 2011 but nothing mentions The Magic Flute as far as I can see.

- I am now considering switching to another opera. I see an opera that is based on events from The Song of the Nibelungs (I cannot be assed to go back and check what the actual title was). That catches my eye because I have read a book that was titled The Ring of the Nibelungs, I believe, and I kinda remember stuff from it... which is what makes me hesitate because that was a big tragedy.

- Meanwhile, I have stumbled upon a trailer for The Magic Flute:

MY GOD IS THAT BEAUTIFUL! THOSE PROPS ARE FUCKING GORGEOUS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU GET TO GO AND SEE THAT LIVE? THAT IS NUTS! (Also, when I mentioned paper birds (I think they are) in the fic, I meant the ones shown in 0:13, not the big one in the beginning but HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT THING????? HOW IS THAT REAL?!?!?!?! IT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T. I AM DYING. THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL.)

- I somehow happen upon an old archive of the opera (idk how I did that but I bookmarked it in case I’ll need it again) that has information about plays going back as far as the year 1900. This is nuts! I am in too deep but I can’t pull myself away. I’ve gotten this far, I will see it through.

- I search for keyword “flute” and I get results. Some of them are pretty old but I finally find what I need. Performances of the Magic Flute in 2010! Bingo!

-  ...Oh, wait, they’re all around Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Hmm... when will it be okay for them to go? I mean, Valtor has been established to have zero free time around that time of the year and I can’t see them going on the 24th or the 31st... Oh, those are matinees. Definitely no! I need them to go in the evening. And some of these are broadcasts which doesn’t work for me either.

- I looked up earlier years as well. I considered another opera again. I decided to switch up the timeline a little. It makes sense if it’s in 2009. I think they had spring performances of The Magic Flute then. Or was it 2008? Anyway, I finally settle on an early April date in 2009 (I think). Now that that’s settled, let’s go back to the seats.

- First I need to figure out what floor (let’s say) of the opera they’re on. I was thinking of the last one first (family circle) but the boxes (I figure those seats will be safest for their activities) look like this:

which isn’t vibing with me because they would be in the front row and it seems more visible. So I relocate to the previous floor (balcony) that looks like this:

That works a little better although there’s the danger of having more people in their box. But they’re sitting in box 14, seats 5 (Griffin) and 6 (Valtor) (where the arrow is pointing) and there’s only one man in seat 4 in front of them. So that is the best I can do.

- Wow, all that’s finally figured out. I decide to do all the rest of the research up front in order to be able to just write after that and not stop for another 4 hours. More on those other things later BUT I get to the part where I need to pick a vibrator and... well, I done fucked up.

- First thing that comes up for a remote controlled vibrator is Lush, of course. And I am immediately sold because it has a sound activated setting which Valtor will definitely love to utilize while in the opera.

BUT

Lush 2 (which is the first one to have the sound activated setting, I believe) came out in 2018. Even if we accept that Lush also has it, that came out in 2015. My fic is set in 2009. Searching for 2009 vibrators literally went no where so in the end I decided that the SoL verse is actually set in a parallel universe where time is a little warped so the Lush 2 is out in 2009. Plus, that way there isn’t going to be a pandemic in future installments. Overall, that works. Except that I needn’t have been so thorough with my opera research beforehand. Oh, well. It’s finally time to start writing.

- How do you write? How do you start a fic? One word in front of the other? Oh, okay, never mind. Lipstick is a girl’s best friend. Let’s start from there. And a kiss that leads to the discussion of lipstick... Damn, I forgot to spend one more hour on researching what kind of lipstick Griffin would have worn. Shame! You don’t get that detail now. I believe I didn’t even mention a shade.

- Oh, wait. Need for his breath to taste like something. Hmm, let’s see. Tonic water? Yeah, that sounds about right. Never mind that he should have probably drunk it right before getting out of the car to kiss her if it was still lingering on his breath. I mean, that’s not impossible. Just improbable.

- He’s also wearing cologne, right? Gotta research that too. How else would I get this:

and zero idea what it actually smells like despite the description. Also, did not check if that was a thing in 2009 but the story now exists in a vacuum so who cares.

- Apparently, Griffin doesn’t own any golden bracelets even though she does have a golden necklace? Or she could have a golden bracelet, just not one she likes for the current situation? Anyway, I wanted to mention Ediltrude as well because the twins always go together and that was the best I came up with. (That said, I didn’t need to put the mentions of them one sentence apart.)

- My god, I used a semicolon! That feels illegal. I sure hope I used that bitch correctly.

- Okay, I absolutely love all the banter and just flow in the car. Idk how I did that since it’s such a constricted space but I am really proud of it. However, the logistics were sometimes hard to logic my way through. I mean, Valtor doesn’t get to look at her a lot and I had to employ a red traffic light to give him the chance to do so.

- I hit a wall about three paragraphs later. Things started going in a weird direction. I was considering even deleting the last two lines but then I managed to get back on track thanks to having figured out how they met and I decided to write a little bit about that without spoiling it (that will be a fic of its own some day). Suffice it to say it was a meet-very-ugly. But it bailed me out. Also, they got over it so it’s all good.

- And now... that paragraph. You know which one I’m talking about. It stands out with the locations I’ve given. That paragraph required 30 minutes of looking at Google Earth to figure it out and I still nearly got it wrong. At that point it occurred to me that they’ll need a place to park. I mean, idk how parking is in NYC but it’s probably not the way it is in Bulgaria especially on small neighborhood streets where it’s just... park wherever (even in front of a garage if you’re brazen enough and don’t fear having your tires slashed). So first, I was going to have them coming down Tenth Avenue and passing by the backside of the Opera which is not ideal for me because I needed Griffin to figure out they’re going to the opera so that they can have the following dialogue. But there is the New York Public Library of the Performing Arts right next door so I figure Griffin will recognize the area if it’s next to a library. And I have them almost at the garage but... that’s not looking right. This garage is on 65th Street and mine is on 62nd... I have been looking at the wrong garage for the past hour. Now that I have caught that mistake, things get easier. They just drive right past the facade of the opera, take a right turn and then enter the garage. Easy peasy. For whoever’s actually paying attention to the map.

- They’re in the garage now and I have to write another kiss. Shoot! I do not vibe with writing kisses. Writing sex scenes is much easier. But I’ll try my best because this is a little bit necessary if we’re dealing with an insertion of a vibrator in a public bathroom one minute from now. (Again, logistics!) I actually went back to add in a little discomfort during the kiss (but not too much because they’re consumed with each other anyway and probably missed something) just to make it more realistic. They can’t be comfortable in the car. Also, you have got to love how I never even thought of what make the car is. But I did stop to research the tinting of the car windows.

- Now this is extremely funny but I would have had zero idea that there are different laws about how tinted your car windows can be in the USA if I hadn’t read a very extensive critique of Fifty Shades (whichever part it was that had that info). So I look up the VLT for New York and it says 70%. Great! Then it won’t be that visible through the windows what they’re doing inside. Oh, wait! VLT means Visible Light Transmission aka 70% of the light should be passing through the window. Aka it is only tinted on 30%. This much:

That’s practically nothing. You can see everything through it. Welp, then someone’s gonna see, I guess.

- Can’t believe I didn’t stop to look up clutches either. (Lmao, I was calling it a purse instead of a clutch at first even though I definitely meant a clutch. And then I remembered that clutch existed as a word. Who would’ve thought?) It’s baffling trying to figure out why my brain was prioritizing some details over others and I just genuinely have no idea what was going on.

- Griffin is blushing a lot in this. Can you tell I have no idea how else to convey Valtor giving her feelings through body language?

- I first envisioned the box being opened by the hair pin by turning it like a key. Only later did I realize that that wouldn’t be possible because the pin has two parts (whatever they’re called) and that would make turning it impossible unless all of the base fits into one hole in the lid of the box. So I had to adapt my vision to using the extensions at the ends of the hair pin like a hook that pulls the lid up once it’s clicked free. I have zero idea how that would be done but I’m sure it can be done. So yeah, anyway, the pin looks like this but with attachments at the ends to open the box:

- I might have gone a little overboard with Griffin’s reaction to having the vibrator inside her. I might have made her a bit too embarrassed but I still think that she simply wouldn’t appreciate someone knowing about what she considers a private experience (despite the very public setting).

- And I am being overly specific again with the seats but I worked for that information so you’re getting it against your will!

- Speaking of, that man in their box was pretty ignored throughout the fic. But then again Griffin wasn’t overflowing with lucidity. She is sure to have missed... A Lot, actually.

- My apologies (once again) to @her-majesty-wears-jeans​ for not letting Griffin punch Valtor in the face for the terrible pun he was about to make but I thought that that would ruin the mood so I had to skip it.

- I might have imagined things a little differently but then consent factored in and I had to change things up so that Griffin is clearly on board with everything. I hope it came through that way at least. She is on board even if she is very, very frustrated. She would never throw the bet just because it’s difficult for her. Though, I’m taking note for future fics of maybe being a little bit more explicit about the enjoyment of all parties involved. I just couldn’t really think of a way to convey it better back then and I am coming up with several ideas now and I will try to keep them in mind for future fics.

- I keep going back and forth on just how far into their relationship this is. Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough time for them to get this familiar with each other and sometimes it feels like too much for them to still be skirting their feelings for each other like that. Will update when I make up my mind about how long exactly it has been.

- In retrospect, probably should have picked up an opera that people would be less likely to bring their children to (as brought to my attention by @her-majesty-wears-jeans​). I apologize for this. Did not consider it at all.

- A wild tangent about Griffin’s sexual experiences before Valtor popped up (for the second time now). This is giving me thoughts and I am not even sure if I’ll manage to get them all out in the bachelorette party fic. Oh, no, I am getting ideas again.

- God, I had to mention those paper birds because I adore them. Also, needed to do a time skip somehow (sure hope they don’t show up at the very end or the very beginning).

- So there are some things about the whole thing with the suit jacket that if you squint, you’ll miss the very far-fetched and convoluted ways in which I could make them make sense but again, it isn’t impossible to make them operate according to logic so good enough.

- And now for the dress:

I thought it would be reasonable for Griffin to own something like that. It doesn’t look overly expensive or dramatic.

- I swear that most of the 2% angst was an accident. Griffin was supposed to say the “You paid how much for tickets exactly just so you could fool around?” line but the following few paragraphs sprang on me out of nowhere. That was where I left it off the first day I was working on it and I wasn’t sure how to continue it. Then the angst happened.

- I do not believe the retaliation part was planned but would it really be a Griffin x Valtor story if something like that hadn’t happened? XD

- “reverberated”, “multitudinous” and “unobtainable” are probably not words that Griffin’s muddled mind would go to in that precise moment but everything else I came up with for them just did not sound right.

- I completely forgot the word for neckline and was so mad at myself for that but, luckily, I managed to remember it before posting the fic. I believe the original read “he slipped a finger under the fabric of her dress, running it over the top of her breast” which is not incorrect but just not precise enough for my liking.

- Sure hope the shortened version of the opera did not cut out the ending musical sequence. But that seems unlikely.

- The idea was running overly long in my head by having them going back to the penthouse so that I could have the scene where he picked her up so I decided to move things around and have him carry her bridal style on their way from the opera to the car. It’s not like she didn’t earn it.

- Pretty sure I had planned something a little different for the last several lines of dialogue but I couldn’t remember what so we get this. Which isn’t a disadvantage. I mean, Griffin is already thinking of marrying him. XD (That’s probably a bit of a stretch at the current status of their relationship but then again, she was thinking of a wedding, not necessarily of their wedding even though I’m clearly a little romance gargoyle that meant exactly that.)

- Originally, Valtor was supposed to floor the brakes while they were out in the NYC traffic but then I decided that doing it while still in the garage with only one car behind them and both vehicles driving at a very slow speed was a lot safer so I switched to that. It also saved me writing more words which was appreciated. I thought this fic would be a bit shorter.

- I was at a loss for how many orgasms Griffin should want from him but then the commitment line happened and that was all avoided.

#winx club #winx griffin #winx valtor #griffin x valtor #covenshipping #sparks of life #singing a new tune #trivia #trivia tuesday #research #my writing process #the magic flute #yeah no cut and this is gonna be hell on mobile #i know #i'm evil

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Beth/Eugene Entanglement, Part 1

Morning Everyone! So, for probably the next week or so, I’m going to be doing a series of Beth/Eugene entanglement posts. I meant to get them written and posted for this week, but time has been getting away from me. So, here’s the first one. I’m basically just going to be showing how many parallels exist between the two characters, which will back up why we think Beth will appear through Eugene’s story.

So today, we’re going to start with some basics.

1. He starts out weak but becomes strong over the course of years.

This is true of both Beth and Eugene, but many other characters, too. Eugene, when we first saw him, was very weak, very afraid, and couldn’t fight walkers. He was trained, mostly by Rosita, and is now very strong and capable in that regard.

Same with Beth. We already saw her become strong in S4, but I think she’ll return much stronger than when we last saw her.

Now, as I said, this arc isn’t unique to Beth and Eugene by far, but there are other specific similarities between the two.

2. Trained by a Stronger Character

This is going to feel like a tangent, but I promise it’s not. To review, when it comes to romantic couples, there are only two types of character. Yes, this will be a major oversimplification of character personalities, but for ease of understanding, there is always one member of the couple who is dominant, somewhat dark, and prone to being destructive. The pairings that work are when they enter a relationship with someone who balances those qualities out. Someone who is more optimistic, hopeful, and positive.

So the more destructive ones are Daryl, Michonne, Rosita, Carol, Enid, Sasha, and Maggie. All of these characters are paralleled to one another at times because of their similar personality traits. (As I often say, this why ships like Caryl and Darsita would never work. They’re WAY too similar to Daryl.)

The more hopeful characters are Beth, Rick, Gabriel, Ezekiel, Carl, Abraham, and Glenn.

So why am I reviewing this? Just to show that Rosita and Daryl are similar. Beth was trained and strengthened by Daryl.

Eugene, by Rosita.

3. Coda

Believe it or not, there are actually a lot of similarities between the two of them in S5, especially right around the time Coda happened.

Eugene confessed to lying about the cure and Abraham punched him in the face, injuring him badly. I have to say, I always thought that story line was just a tad over-the-top.

Of course it’s totally possible to hit someone hard enough to give them a concussion or do other damage, and Abraham is a big guy. But what most people don’t realize and Hollywood rarely takes into account is that if you receive a head injury bad enough to knock you unconscious, and you don’t wake up for hours, you would have massive brain damage. People can definitely get knocked out, but they usually wake up in less than 30 seconds. If they don’t, it’s either because they have a sedative or other substance in their system, or they need a neurosurgeon.

Now, we saw Carol miraculously recover from internal injuries at Grady. So, like that, this n ever bothered me much because I figure it’s probably unrealistic on purpose, and meant to be symbolic. (A parallel to Beth recovering from her injuries.)

So Eugene is hurt (blood on his forehead, no less) and for a while, his group isn’t sure if he’ll be okay. Maggie even uses a ladder to give him shade (there’s totally symbolism in that). Eventually they pick him up, put him in a vehicle, and…drive him to Grady. 🤔

There was never much doubt about Eguene’s survival in this story line, because of the way they presented it to us.

What’s clear is that while at Grady, Eugene was just sleeping.

Later Eugene wakes up and is okay. Just saying.

4. 9x06; After the Time Jump

And finally, we didn’t see Eugene really come into his own until AFTER the 6 year time jump in 9x06. You can see how that will be similar to Beth, as she’s been gone for years, but when we see her, she’ll be much stronger than the last time we saw her.

Not only does Eugene show up much stronger, more confident, and an excellent walker-killer, but he looks a little different, too.

He’s suddenly sporting long, braided hair with beads in it.

People have compared the braid to Beth having a braid. The beads could be seen as a Native American or western theme, both of which we’ve applied to Beth. And Eugene uses a surprising amount of “western” references in his speech. I’ll get to more of them in later posts. I do think some of this also applies to Eugene himself and his “Sampson” arc, but suffice it to say, he shows up with a lot more Beth symbolism around him and specifically his appearance, than he used to have.

Finally, the deer. The first time we see him in 9x06, he has a dear draped across his shoulders. The Deer Theory is one of the deepest and oldest Beth theories we have. So having Eugene appear this way feels like a very obvious way of pointing him out as a Beth proxy, and perhaps saying she will show up via his story line.

As a side note, we also saw Michonne with a deer draped across her shoulders in 7x04 after she went out hunting. Because she shoots a deer, and kind of by accident, there, we’ve always known that was an important, foreshadowing scene. But it’s hard to interpret how it will apply, yet. Michonne definitely has some interesting arcs still coming up that they’ve foreshadowed for us, but I haven’t entirely figured out what they are, yet.

I’ve considered that this deer-across-the-shoulders think might be about being involved in a death fake out. (Because of Rick’s disappearance.) But we didn’t see that with Glaggie or Bethyl, so probably not. More than likely, it’s something that’s tied directly to Beth. We just haven’t figured it out entirely, yet.

Anyway, just thought I’d throw that in for reference.

To recap for today, Eugene goes from a weak character to a strong character, he was injured in S5, and taken to Grady while unconscious, much like Beth. He was trained by a stronger character (Rosita), just as Beth was trained by Daryl. And after many years, he showed up with a deer draped over his shoulders, long braided hair, and heavy western themes.

Don’t you just love TD parallels?

Stay tuned for more Beth/Eugene entanglement to come.

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #bethyl #team defiance #beth is almost here #team delusional

[earbuds-and-hightops]

An Open Letter to Supernatural

[ Spoiler warning for 15x20, obviously ]

I understand that a well-contemplated complaint about this ending cannot be made without first reading the original, pre-COVID, script of 15x20, but in the long run, the initial plan is not what will be remembered. 

What will be remembered is what this show created. What it became beyond two brothers driving around the country, hunting monsters. Characters were introduced and developed, and in that, Sam and Dean Winchester become so much more than two kids living on the road. In the past 15 years, the cast, and thus the family, grew to something that would be unimaginable to those who started this project back in 2005. Not only did the characters and their stories become meaningful, but the show itself grew into, well, a family. The fans who have kept this show alive since Day 1 have come together to form what I believe is the greatest community in pop culture. 

What hurts the most is that this finale did not do any of that development justice. 

The finale (and consequently the episodes leading up to it) reverts back to the story between only Sam and Dean. While some see this as an ode to who they are--their brotherhood and familial bond being the heart of their values and the root of their characters--I cannot help but see this as a rejection of their experiences this past decade and a half. 

What’s worse, episode 15x18 confirmed one of the most pure and powerful and goddamn beautiful romances that television will ever see. This story of an angel who abandoned his family and the only beings he’s known for thousands of years, all for one person. I knew from the instant the screen faded to black on November 5 that the story of Castiel will always be remembered, even if his feelings were unrequited. Castiel will always be remembered. 

And then there’s Destiel. I was genuinely impressed that this show would even grow to include a queer angel, more importantly, a queer character in a leading role. The queer-baiting and the “bury your gays” trope both make this confession and its lack of acknowledgement that much worse (and is worthy of an entirely separate open letter for another night). It matters less if Dean does or doesn’t reciprocate these feelings and more that it’s wrong that he completely ignores it. Cas’s love confession, this beautifully tragic and tragically beautiful emotion coming from a being who wasn’t supposed to feel emotions at all, is something that, unfortunately, will become a secret that dies with Dean Winchester. 

It’s truly a shame that the writers of this show let that happen. 

We haven’t even touched the fact that Castiel’s death was an act of sacrifice to save Dean. Dean’s limited reaction and lack of mourning* tears apart this phrase that has become pivotal to the entire show and fanbase: “Family don’t end in blood.” While it would be a lot to ask that Dean rescue Cas from the Empty and resume their cycle of rescue and resurrection, I think it’s only fair that Dean take the time to fully accept Castiel’s actions and words for what they mean instead of simply moving forward as if they never happened.

What’s more, Misha Collins is one of the greatest and kindest people in this world, and he’s poured his heart and soul into Supernatural, just like everybody else. He’s spent 12 years on this project, and the final two episodes hardly mentioned his character. He didn’t deserve this. It’s heartbreaking that his last credit on this show will be a prank call from someone trying to impersonate him, and not something that pays tribute to such an important character and important actor**

The most devastating part of this ending is what happened in 15x19. Pardon my French when I say that that episode, the ultimate climax of the season and latter half of the series, was a piece of dog shit. It’s incredibly frustrating to invest in 15 years worth of television and look forward to this ultimate battle between two average boys and God the Almighty Himself and to instead watch a 6-minute long fist fight on the beach with the only dialogue being variations of “seriously guys, stay down.” 

My issues with 15x19 lie less in the storyline that was chosen and more in how they were presented. I am completely on board with Jack taking God’s power and eventually becoming the new God, but the episode was far too quick to have any real meaning, and, as stated before, Castiel’s sacrifice, which allows Sam, Dean, and Jack to do what they do in 15x19, is hardly mentioned.

Most fans agree that 15x19 was far too quickly paced. The plot with Michael and Lucifer was questionable to begin with, but should have been an episode on its own if it were to be perused at all. Michael’s story in particular could have been fleshed out to reiterate this theme of overly loyal sons and their fathers, as well as their relationships with less loyal siblings, but was instead reduced to about 20 minutes of screen time. 

Though this is less important, Lucifer’s plan to make a new Death felt like a cheap cop-out just to close the storyline with Death’s book, but we can finish that discussion another day. 

The general fan reaction to this atrocity of an episode was that this was meta, and according to Becky, the ending was supposed to be dog shit. This, along with the untouched storyline started when Cas died, gave fans so much hope that the finale would be this amazing piece of art that puts Supernatural in the history books. 

While it’s obvious that an hour cannot perfectly tie up every single event and arc with a pretty little bow, it can at least...try. Any finale should, at minimum, pay tribute to what the show started as (which 15x20 did well) and what it became (which 15x20 failed to do miserably). 

In addition, a reference to character back in season 1 is incredibly frustrating when recurring characters with actual, well, character go unnoticed. I mostly reference Eileen here, but this also applies to Jody and Donna. Nobody even mentions the other wonderful friends who have helped Sam and Dean along their journey to Heaven. If family doesn’t end in blood, then why doesn’t it extend to include Castiel, Jack, Mary, Rowena, Charlie, Kevin, Jody and her girls, Donna, and so many others?

Dean’s death was sad, I’ll give them that (and honestly, I was expecting it). However, considering that this man has defeated apocalypses, killed Death, and taken down God, his death via nail in the wall was incredibly anticlimactic, and something that could literally have happened at any point over the 15 seasons. While Dean’s death was obviously not my ideal ending, I think it could have worked if it were done properly, and in this case, it was not. That said, I do appreciate that Sam did not try to bring Dean back, as that would indicate literally no growth at all.

Dean’s funeral was...pathetic, to say the least. Sam being the only person there was depressing considering that Dean had lots of other close friends (and you’d think that Jack would pay his respects, but apparently not), however, this is likely a scene that was impacted by COVID and the availability of some of the cast, so I will not dwell on that scene.

Dean’s time in Heaven complicates matters even more. Firstly, Bobby confirms that Castiel is no longer in the Empty and has been in contact with Jack. I would have loved to see this reunion; Cas is essentially Jack’s father, and I would have loved to see how their upgrading/remodeling of Heaven brought them closer together. I understand that the writers were trying to focus this finale story on the brothers, this goes back to my earlier point that you cannot simply ignore everything that that this show has grown to include. Bobby’s explanation also begs the question of why Dean had no intention of seeing Cas (or Jack, for that matter) again now that he has the opportunity.

Secondly, Dean’s instinct to go directly for the Impala was very in-character, however, the editing implied that driving was all Dean did until Sam died. As we know, Sam dies of old age, likely (completely guessing here) upwards of 40-50 years from Dean’s death, and that is a very, very long time for Dean to simply driving around the mountains. It would have been nice to see Dean reunite with other family and friends who are also in Heaven, however, again, COVID restraints.

Sam’s ending was similar to what I and a lot of other fans imagined (not necessarily wanted, but predicted) it to be: kids and a wife, living a normal, monster-free, life. I hate to believe that he doesn’t end up with Eileen (to my recollection, his wife was a blur in the background, and it is unclear if she was meant to be Eileen) however that might just be my bias and appreciation of Shoshannah Stern. While I’m glad that this storyline gave Sam the room to grow and develop without his brother, it also completely ignores everything that he’s been through this past decade and a half, and that is something that should not happen. Sam grew and changed so much since he left Stanford and leaving that life, the life of a hunter, behind feels very counterintuitive.

Let’s not even discuss the wig that Jared wore. It reminded me of the Cain wig that Rob wore in the Hillywood parody.

What shocked me the most at the beginning of this episode was the lack of a “The Road So Far” compilation. I hoped for the full song with a recap of all 15 seasons, or, at minimum, the typical single-season recap. “Carry On My Wayward Son” is such an important part of the show and the culture of the fan base, that it seems almost sacrilegious that the season finale not begin with this song and a memorial to the events in the past season (or series).*** I’m very happy that it was included at all, but I was shocked when Neoni’s cover took over.

No disrespect to Neoni; those girls are incredibly talented and I love their music, however, a series finale of a 15 season long show does not feel like the place for a cover when they already have the rights to the original, and the original is so iconic.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge Jensen Ackles’s reaction to this conclusion. At a con panel about a year ago, he said that he needed to be talked into agreeing to this script by Erik Kripke himself, because the ending just wasn’t sitting right with him. So many fans took this to believe that he was homophobic and afraid that of Destiel becoming fully canon, and he got so much more hate than he deserved, because ultimately, he was right in his first opinion. This isn’t the way this story should have ended. Jensen explained that he had been “too close” to the story, and that it took a more holistic view from a step backwards (the audience’s perspective, as he puts it) to agree on this ending, but honestly, nobody knows Dean Winchester better than Jensen, and he knows what’s best and what would be the best way to finish this character’s arc. I think fans and Jensen alike agree that this wasn’t it.

I sympathize with all of the cast and crew members who disagree with how this show ended but are bounded by contract to support this show no matter what. Especially Misha and Jensen.

Over all, I believe that Supernatural will go down in history (in internet communities, at least) as one of the greatest shows ever. While I do agree that the writing quality in terms of both dialogue and plot declined as years passed, the community, the family, that this show created cannot be ignored because of a poorly written/planned ending. I think that the fandom will collectively let go of this disaster of an ending that we were given and will, just like Sam and Dean, write our own stories. I have full faith and confidence that Supernatural will not be represented by this finale episode, but by the beautiful stories, amazing characters, and the family that this show created and what the fans have chosen to do with it.

Sincerely,

A Fiercely Frustrated but Fiercely Loyal Fan

* I do not count that last clip of Dean crying on the floor as mourning. In my mind, that was a reaction, not an emotional healing and overcoming, if that makes sense. I argue that if Dean were to fully mourn and process everything (like Sam did in 15x20) we would have seen at least a bit of that on screen. 

** This is where I would have loved to see some of the original scripts. I hope that the writers initial intentions were to have Misha more involved in these last two episodes than what was likely a voice memo created in 10 minutes tops at Misha’s house.

*** The strange montage at the end of 15x19 makes so much more sense. I still would have preferred that montage at the beginning of 15x20. This also shines light on the video that Misha posted. What would we do without him :)

#supernatural #spn #spn season 15 #spn finale #spn 15x20 #an open letter #no beta we die as men #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jack kline #erik kripke #robert singer #andrew dabb #that god awful finale #i spent 4 hours drafting this

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this  tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to   seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after   she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season,   Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of  the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New  Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the  loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks  her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find  herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest  creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”.  When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to   Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of   volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to   Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an   arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from   under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And  that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep. 

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it. 

#book recs #fiction rec #rom com recs #fantasy recs #laura reads books #i swear i do other things besides read #really #welllp these are books

[remuswriting]

What I’ve Learned In My Creative Writing Class: Character

Disclaimer: I may sound aggressive and people may think I’m “calling them out” but I’m not.  When looking at things to address, I just scrolled through Tumblr to see what the most requested things were.  Nothing against anyone.

Here is a mixture of things I learned from my professor and have learned over creating characters the last 11 years.  In writing, character is probably the most important thing.  If you write a character that doesn’t keep the reader entertained or become attached to them, then your character isn’t doing their job. It’s similar to if we know someone super boring, typically we try to avoid them (I could just be a bad person though).  In x reader writing, Y/N is a character.  Characters need more than just a name and description but a backstory, personality, insecurities, and identity.

Backstory

I kind of blend backstory and personality in this but I think it flows together??

Y/N needs a backstory just like canon characters do.  They need a family, friend group, interests, childhood memories, and more.  The reader doesn’t have to know all these things but the author does.  How do you know what your character would do if you don’t even know your character? I’ll repeat this; Y/N is a character. We may not know how you picture them physically and can come up with that ourselves, but that’s all we can do. We can’t create a personality for Y/N because that’s your job.  I may get controversial in this.

You’re requested to write flirty reader.  Why is Y/N flirty?  How is Y/N flirty?  Are they trying to gain something from acting like that?  Are they just flirty on accident?  Have they always been flirty?  Did something happen that now they act like that?  You can tell when there is no depth to a character when you don’t have any of these questions answered.  I become more interested when a character mentions that Y/N hasn’t always been flirty like they are now and I’m curious as to why because it could answer one of the questions listed above.  I’m aware that requests like that are meant for quick fluff but I’m never satisfied with fluff.  There’s never enough substance to a character for me to really like it.  Before I point out other commonly seen things that could be enhanced, let me explain what I mean by the things I explain with one of my own pieces.

In Kisses, a Hinata fluff drabble I wrote, I pictured Y/N’s whole day as well as friends, relations to people, his college major, and why he shares government with Tsukishima before I started writing and only wrote 634 words.  I hinted at those things because it was important to in order to get the whole effect of what I’m trying to portray.

Y/N says his day is okay and his government class was boring, even with Tsukishima next to him. He hates his government class, which either means his professor sucks or it’s hot his strong suit academically. In this context, it’s the first one. He and Tsukishima share the same major: Paleontology.  He’s how Y/N and Hinata met each other and is decently close to Y/N.  They’ve matched up schedules because of this.  I didn’t write all of this because I doubt the reader wanted me to go on a tangent about it but I wanted there to be a justified reason of why Y/N mentioned Tsukishima so casually.  It also just adds more to me as a writer when writing because there’s more to work off of.

Y/N is close to Hinata’s teammates, which means they’ve been dating for a while.  He knows how Osamu owns an onigiri store and knows Atsumu well enough that he doesn’t particularly like him because of his personality. He’s nice to him though and tries to make him feel included because Y/N’s friends made him feel like the third wheel when Hinata wasn’t there.  It shows that there’s a kindness to him and makes you wonder if that’s why Hinata fell for him.

I thought of all of this before I started writing.  It adds more personality and depth to the character, even if minimal, if you know their backstory.  You don’t have to have an entire childhood backstory (unless needed) but it helps to know more about your character beyond the fact that they’re flirty.

Focus

Don’t focus a character around one thing.

The flirty character thing is part of a personality and can be woven into different things when done right. A tall reader shouldn’t be just about how scared everyone is of them because their height.  How does Y/N feel about their height?  Are they self-conscious?  Do they even care?  Also, for the love the god, stop requesting seven foot readers.  I have received four of those in the past and it’s unrealistic and annoying. So, Y/N is tall.  What else do they have about them?  Let’s say they are insecure of how tall they are, what do they do to hide that insecurity?  A fun example of what I’m trying to say is in “Roy Spivey” by Miranda July.  In the first three to four paragraphs, she mentions her height and what she does to go against it in a way.

For this reason, I always let men see me asleep early on in a relationship. It makes them realize that even though I am five feet eleven I am fragile and need to be taken care of. A man who can see the weakness of a giant knows that he is a man indeed.

This may not exactly scream “I am insecure of my height” by any means but she is aware of her height. Instead of sleeping, what does your character do to distract from their height if they’re self-conscious over it? Or do they love the fact they’re tall? If so, then what to do they do to show it off?  Being tall is something but how someone reacts to it is another thing.

This applies to more than just tall readers but also readers who blush all the time (Touma Kikuchi from Ao Haru Ride), short readers, etc.  You can use your characters so much better if you know they feel about the things you’re focused on.

Accuracy

If you’ve followed me long enough, then you know I have a thing about accuracy.  I do a lot of research for everything I write, even if I think I am extraordinarily knowledgeable about the subject.  This part is pretty optional depending on who you are as writer.  I like things to feel real and be accurate but there are people who don’t care about that. Neither side is wrong.  I do this a lot because of research I’ve done for novels I’ve written before and it makes me feel content.  For Haikyuu, I just know the timeline near exact to where I don’t have to check to see what month certain things happened in.  This is a me thing because I think it helps.  It may not, writing is all opinion based anyways.

Volleyball player/manager Y/N is a common thing I see and I have written for both of them.  I know literally nothing about volleyball, not counting what is taught in Haikyuu as well as the couple of matches my brother and I watched on YouTube, so I researched things.  Sports are one of those things that it is hard to be 100% accurate unless you know the sport.  I try not to write out game scenes because I don’t know how to explain what each move is but I can do a recap after the match of a character thinking it over. They’re thinking about how maybe the blockers blocked a spike or they fucked up a receive or how angry someone was when something happened.  If you write in third person, this creates a more first person like atmosphere and makes the reader closer to the character.

Accuracy with characters can do a lot to make them well-rounded and realistic.  This can go into other things besides sports like choir, band, cheer, soccer, basketball, etc. (I am actually decent at writing soccer because it’s the best sport ever.)

For me, realism and accuracy makes the story more enjoyable.  In my class, we discussed how flat character who are doing something incorrectly make us put a story down faster than anything else.  You have to see Y/N as a character in order to be able to use them to your full ability.  You can’t do half-assed anything with them because they are essentially more important than a canon character because it’s focused on them.  Basically, put the same effort into everyone you write but the focal character (usually Y/N) should be focused on more and should be the character you know the best.

Surroundings

Everyone is influenced by their surroundings. This typically affects their decisions and view but maybe not their personality.  I’ve discussed this before on Japan and LGBT, but I’ll do it again.

Let’s say that even though Y/N is the gayest person to ever exist, they aren’t likely to be open about it in Japan.  In my previously mentioned post, I talked about how gay relationships are still seen as taboo (it is decreasing slowly though) and usually fetishized.  Trans individuals are even more likely to not be open about it.  Wandering Son by Takako Shimura is one of my favorite mangas that talks about LGBT things but sadly it does make trans men feel slightly like a joke.  It shows the language and shame forcing trans people to stay in the closet.  From numerous articles I’ve read, the shame is decreasing but that doesn’t mean the struggle isn’t as bad as it has been.  I believe the youngest person to have sterilization surgery (what must be completed to be seen as your gender to the Japanese government) was 20 years old. Also, there are very few places they can go to receive hormone replacement and gender therapy.

I’m focusing on Japan for this because it’s where anime takes place.  I write male reader and I take this into account while writing.  It affects how they interact with others and their thought process.  Are they struggling with their identity?  What is their family like?  Even if their parents are accepting, are going to be open about it?  How far are they willing to go to hide it?

Understanding the surroundings of your character affects who they are and how they respond to things. This also takes part in their internal struggles and maybe what the conflict of the story could be if focused on their identity.

Internal Struggle

Everyone has at least one internal struggle.  Usually people have a lot more but in fiction you try to focus on one because real life doesn’t always transfer over in that regard.  Struggles make your decisions though because you’re trying to deal with it. Characters are meant to feel like real people.  My professor said that the goal is to write your character to where people will talk about them as if they’re a real person.

This can be difficult to do with Y/N but that doesn’t mean you can’t try.  I always try to think of what is a struggle Y/N is going through that is either easily seen or never addressed.  If I went through all of my one-shots, then I can tell you and explain why I did that.  Does having a struggle mean that people see them as real people?  No but at least there’s a chance they could.  I really tried to make Y/N in my ficlet First Words more realistic but I don’t think I did the best job.  It’s okay to not be perfect at it because it’s really hard to nail down original characters but reader characters are even harder.

It doesn’t matter how hard it is to make a character realistic because they do still need a struggle. There is character driven story and plot driven story; people prefer the first.  An example would be Harry Potter or there’s also Forest Gump.  We’re not focused so much on each plot point but what the character is doing during it.  We love the character more than we love the story.

#What I’ve Learned In My Creative Writing Class #remuswriting #remuswriting advice

[365days365movies]

January 13, 2021: House of Flying Daggers (2004)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was HUGE. I don’t just mean on this blog, I mean in the United States in 2000 and 2001. If you were alive and aware of movies that year, then you remember people talking about this movie. It was, and is to this day, the highest grossing foreign-language film in the United States. So what does that mean?

It means that Ang Lee wouldn’t be the only wuxia film director to cross the pond. Two years later, a little movie called Hero would be released internationally. That wuxia would eventually become the #3 highest-grossing foreign language movie in the USA. It’]s director was an old hat wuxia director in China, Zhang Yimou.

Yimou’s success on China never translated in the USA, until Hero in 2002. After that, he would release more films in the USA, one of the most recent being...oh. OH. OH NO, The Great Wall starring Matt Damon, Pedro Pascal, and Willem Dafoe?!? THAT’S A ZHANG YIMOU MOVIE?

...I mean, Ang Lee made the 2003 Hulk, so I guess nobody’s perfect. Anyway, House of Flying Daggers.

Zhang Ziyi’s back! This is another critically acclaimed movie, but wasn’t nearly as popular in the USA. It was nominated for one Academy Award, for Best Cinematography, but it lost to The Aviator. I’ll talk about that one in the future the way of the future the way of the future the way of the future.

But OK, enough introduction, IT’S WUXIA TIME WOOO SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

The House of Flying Daggers is a Robin Hood organization, stealing from the wealthy and giving to the disenfranchised in a particularly poor area and time period in China. Their biggest enemies, as you’d expect from a Robin Hood group, are the police, who are conspiring to take down their leader within ten days, whomever they may be.

One of these policeman is Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), who goes to the Peony Pavilion, an “entertainment house” full of beautiful women. See, the leader’s daughter is rumored to be working there as a new showgirl.

This is the blind dancer Mei (Zhang Ziyi), who’s questioned awkwardly by the VERY drunk Jin. She dances and sings for him, as requested. Good time to mention something that I didn’t mention yesterday: Zhang Ziyi has no martial arts background prior to her film career. Instead, her background is in dance! She learned fight choreography in that film the same way she learned dance choreography. So, it’s neat to see her return to her roots.

It’s less neat to see Jin straight-up sexually assault her and get arrested by the cops. So, y’know, ups and downs there. To prevent from getting arrested herself, Mei accepts the offer to play a game called “Echo.” This is prompted by another police officer, Leo (Andy Lau). He, uh...throws beans at a circle of drums, and she responds by hitting the drums with her sleeves. Yeah. Sounds dumb, right? Well, check out how it looks.

This is a very different movie, as compared to CTHD. And yeah, I’m only 15 minutes in, but the choreography is far more artistically flourished. Yeah. I said that as compared to CTHD. Only time will tell, but this full dance sequence is definitely interesting to watch.

Anyway, as you can see above, it ends once Mei grabs the captain’s sword with her sleeve ribbons, and challenges him to a duel. She also TOTALLY blows her cover as a sympathizer to the House of Flying Daggers, and the two fight.

This fight does NOT go well for her, and she’s arrested. Also, it would seem that the drunken display by Jin was actually just a ruse, meant to get her to play the game and reveal herself. Seems...complicated, but it got result, I guess? Anyway, they threaten her with torture (like you do), unless she gives them information of the new leader of the House of Fly...HoFD. There. If CTHD gets an acronym, so does this.

Suddenly, though, a ninja appears and sets Mei free, fighting off the guards. Said ninja reveals himself as...Jin? They refamiliarize themselves.

Very refamiliar.

Anyway, the soldiers are indeed approaching, and Mei and Jin go on the run. The policemen chase them down on horses, and Mei takes down three horses and the guys riding them...with a scabbard. By herself. Badass.

That’s followed by her taking on four armed men at once, although this round doesn’t go nearly as well.

Luckily for her, however, Jin arrives in the nick of time to save her. We get this VERY cool POV arrow shot:

And the two leave. HOWEVER, the policeman ALL get up at the end, which means...Jin’s lying about all of this, huh? It’s a ruse to find to location of the HoFD, using Mei as an unwitting guide. Oof. Liar revealed plot set-up, huh? If that’s the case...I’ll get into that more later.

Jin leaves a message for his fellows, while Mei bathes and puts on men’s clothes provided by Jin, as a disguise. 

It’s at this point that Jin decides to go FULL creep again, and GODDAMN is it not working for me. It is...UNCOMFORTABLE, knowing what we know about Jin. And yet, despite that information...

It’s working for Mei. Yeah, they make out. Mei does say that it’s too soon, and that she doesn’t quite trust him that much yet...but they definitely made out there for a hot sec. It was...yup.

We get a reminder the Jin’s kind of an emotionally manipulative asshole as he meets with Leo, who warns her not to “fall for her.” So. It IS one of these stories, huh? We’ll see how it goes, but...yeah, not digging the love story so far.

And yet, as I say that, there goes Jin, falling in love with her. Soldiers consistently follow them wherever they go. Looks like the plan is backfiring, as soldiers who aren’t one of Jim’s cohorts believe that he’s a member of the HoFD, having broke Mei out of jail and all. So they attack them in earnest, even injuring Jin somewhat.

And that’s when Mei brings out the dagger. The Flying Dagger. THE HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGER.

I tell ya...that’s cool. Might be a CGI house of flying dagger (LOT of CGI in this movie, by the way, and none of it is technically...good), but I love it. The two fight off the soldiers in the field using the house of flying daggers and arrows, but reinforcements arrive. The two fight them in a sequence that’s more dance than ight. And it’s pretty cool. But they’re soon outnumbered.

Until...some wooden dowels come out of NOWHERE, impaling them in the neck and taking them down. Having survived, the two rest in the field, pondering where the dowels came from. And, of course, making out.

Although, this time, Mei starts it, and Jin refuses. He leaves, at her urging, and meets with Leo. Turns out the General sent the soldiers in the field, and is sending more to kill Mei AND Jin. And, as a note, Jin just KILLED some of those guys, as did Mei. Arrow boys from earlier lived, since it was a set-up for Mei. But, no, Jin actually has to kill the soldiers coming up.

That’s when he realizes that the General doesn’t care about him, at ALL, and he’s willing to shed the blood of his men and of Jin to get his goals met. And Jin...quits. Jin STRAIGHT UP quits, and returns to Mei. They get into a spat, and Mei leaves. And she goes to...

A bamboo forest. Thank you, China, for loving bamboo so much in these movies, because this sequence is gorgeous. I tell you, these movies do real well with the bamboo green color. Gorgeous.

The soldiers ambush Mei there, but Jin’s caught up, and he helps fight them off. Some awesome bamboo tricks (and sounds, by the way, real neat sounds here), more object-throwing (including a lot of using the bamboo stalks as weapons, which is SUPER FUCKIN’ COOL), and some gorgeous cinematography though the forest. Real talk, this scene made the movie for me. So far, anyway. We even get a BADASS bamboo spike trap! And it’s here that our pair is caught.

AND THEN

IT’S THE HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS FUCK YEAH

Looks like the madam of the entertainer’s house actually is the head of the HoFD, once again upholding the tradition of badass women of wuxia that we’ve seen in LITERALLY ALL THREE of these movies.

The leader asks if Jin likes Mei, and would consider marrying her. It’s far too soon for Jin, and he’s formally captured by the HoFD. They knew about his and Leo’s plan, and drag a captured Leo in as well. AND, AND...MEI’S NOT BLIND, or the daughter of the leader!!! Yeah! She’s been faking the whole movie! HA! Liar revealed indeed!

Didn’t see that one coming! Mei’s just a normal anti-governmentrevolutionary, and Jin’s now just a prisoner alongside Leo. But another twist, as this isn’t the actual leader of the HoFD. Leo reveals this; and how does he know that? LEO...IS A GODDAMN MOLE IN THE GOVERNMENT!!! WHAT????? YES! Leo’s a member of the HoFD, and he was planted three years ago to spy on the cops! And...AND...HE’S MEI’S FIANCEE!! WHAT IN THE SHIT?!?

OH I AM FULLY INVESTED. What the hell else is gonna happen? How about a game of Echo?

Yeah, that scene from earlier? No wonder it was a dance! It was the reunion between two lovers, long since parted! Holy shit, THIS is a romance I can fully get behind! But...can Mei? Because she certainly isn’t feeling it as much as Leo is...

Yup. Looks like she fell in love with Jin after all. Uh oh. BIG UH OH. And there goes my support of their romance, as Leo tries to rape Mei. Nia, the leader, ain’t having it, and throws a dagger into Jin’s back. He goes back to spy on the cops, but not before shaming Mei. Oof. I take it back. 

And now, Mei’s been told to kill Jin. I’m sure that’s gonna happen.

YUP

Well, after they have Field Sex (probably better than CTHD’s Cave Sex, let’s be honest), they decide to go their separate ways, becoming fated lovers on two separate sides. But Mei has second thoughts, and goes back.

Somebody else comes back, too.

YIKES, LEO! Yeah, he kills her right there in the field, blaming her for making him kill her! YIKES, LEO!!! I take it back, you’re a DICK.

Jin ALSO comes back for Mei, and finds Leo instead. A pissed-off Leo reveals himself to Jin, and the two engage in a sword battle for Mei. And then...autumn turns to winter.

As the army encroaches on the HoFD in the bamboo forest, two former friends shed blood amongst the snow. Their fight...their fight is brutal. The choreography may not be the fanciest...but it is insanely and viciously emotional. Blood and snow, man. Blood and snow.

Also, hey, guess who’s alive after all! Mei gets up, despite the DAGGER IN HER CHEST STILL. She asks Leo to let Jin go, or she’ll USE THE DAGGER IN HER CHEST TO KILL HIM. METAL. Obviously, that’ll actually kill her, So Jin asks her not to do it. But it doesn’t matter in the end.

Mei throws her dagger to intercept Leo’s. And Leo...never throws his dagger..

Leo leaves. Mei dies. Jin cries and sings their song.

A rare beauty in the North. She’s the finest lady on earth. A glance from her, the whole city goes down. A second glance leaves the nation in ruins. There exists no city or nation that has been more cherished than a beauty like this. A rare beauty in the North. She’s the finest lady on earth. A glance from her, the whole city goes down. A second glance leaves the nation in ruins. There exists no city or nation that has been more cherished than a beauty like this.

And we never see what happens to the...House of Flying Daggers.

WHOOF. Epilogue soon.

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