definitelynotkatesblog

[definitelynotkatesblog]

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

[definitelynotkatesblog]

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

[definitelynotkatesblog]

When I was in the hospital, they gave me a big bracelet that said ALLERGY, but like. I'm allergic to bees. Were they going to prescribe me bees in there.

[definitelynotkatesblog]

yesterday i went to a party and i kissed this girl and she kept trying to give me her linkedin and i was like ...LINKEDIN? and she said yes linkedin. so i said i dont use linkedin. do you have instagram though. and she was like yes i do have instagram. you should add me on linkedin. and i said i dont use linkedin. and she said i will add you on linkedin. and i said girl give me your instagram you are NOT flirting with me through linkedin. and she was like. ok. fine. here's my instagram then. and gave me her instagram, which she clearly uses a lot, so it wasnt even that she only uses linkedin but rather that she just wanted to talk to me through linkedin specifically. fascinating woman if i wasnt already attracted to her her unwavering loyalty to linkedin wouldve drawn me in for sure

[definitelynotkatesblog]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[definitelynotkatesblog]

I hate daylight savings time

[definitelynotkatesblog]

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

[definitelynotkatesblog]

no bare minimum, i want the moon and the stars. maybe even a planet at this point.

[definitelynotkatesblog]

[definitelynotkatesblog]

God didn't give me a dick cause he knew I'd be abusing that thang. Call me mourning wood the way I'd be fucking trees

[definitelynotkatesblog]

[definitelynotkatesblog]

i’m such a ���i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

[definitelynotkatesblog]

i love replying 👍 to my parents. two can play this game

[definitelynotkatesblog]

Hey are you offended by the word bitch? I'm going to send you a hate anon, but I saw that you go by she/her and I respect women

don't let anything stop u from being a hater king

[definitelynotkatesblog]

did they ever cut that guy's life into pieces like he was requesting

[definitelynotkatesblog]

no bare minimum, i want the moon and the stars. maybe even a planet at this point.

[definitelynotkatesblog]