#so im sorting my shit out first

[superfruitland]

using the guise of anonimity to ask if we could perhaps see a live life sneak peek 🥺 /not forced

i would love to show and share but i'm still tinkering around as well as redrawing pages due to my file getting kind of corrupted </3

i humbly offer you a shitpost instead <3

#lee's thoughts #truth be told i also feel absolutely awful about the update 👍 #so im sorting my shit out first #but update's still happening this week #likely thursday or friday #live life extras

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

#zedaph #hermitcraft #genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post #i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-'' #only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed #and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected #not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits #but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on #and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place'' #at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE' #i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line #bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa #sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare #idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then #so maybe its not nearly as rare these days #but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8 #when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him #and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people #so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video

[z0mbiefrank]

you GUYS i am officially enrolled in my degree i am so unbelievably happy!!!!! i have been fighting for my life to get here. i had to turn down all my uni offers when i was a teen (had to move out independantly bc of domestic violence and disability/health complications). i've always known exactly what i want to do with my life but everything got put on hold whilst i desperately tried to sort my shit out. BUT IM DOING IT NOW!!!!!

#u guys dont even know 😭 #i dropped out of school when i was 14/15 #taught myself all my GCSEs at home #tried to go back to school 3 times but had to leave bc of my abuser finding me + disabilities/pain made my attendance scores impossible #taught myself my A levels and GOT INTO MY DREAM UNI #had to TURN DOWN the offer so i could move out alone somewhere safe on my own income where he could not find me #then had to take a few years to sort my shit out because hello what the FUCK was that first 20 years of my life #plus hey ive been AUTISTIC and adhd this whole time ontop of the cptsd and psychosis and whatever the FUCK else #but im here now :)) #lets get a fUCKING DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

#wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fic #aew fanfic #aew fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #i hope this make some sort of coherent sense #despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao #i also dont know what to tag this with without clogging main tags so im going to trust moots to get this going first #just. this is a topic im passionate about. i love writing i love writers and having seen the wrestling fandom as of late really struggling #with this. we need to do something. even a little bit helps. actually get people leaving feedback and commenting again #supporting each other. we can do this together #dont let dreams be dreams lets fucking do this #just be nice and help each other out #im gonna stop now before i get overly emotional. if theres any questions let me know tho i think i got the main parts pretty clear here #again moots. im trusting you to get this started. im not gonna add my own shit here immediately this isnt about me #this is about the community as a whole #i also hope nobody is afraid of adding themselves here. you are all valid and worth the attention no matter what #just remember to also give if you leave something here. look at the previous links. look in the notes to find more people #okay thats it i need to make dinner now #lets just be kind and support one another. promise me that 💜 #night is an absolute mess on main

[pbnmj]

Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))

i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)

this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"

eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)

(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)

the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run

noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)

again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!

i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.

okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL

veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that

#this kind of turns into meta . sort of . sorry about that #and i know some people take those jokes noir makes as like. just very blunt observations of what is happening #i personally believe they are jokes that aren't landing. or just him being a bit annoying <3 i love him for this #i can talk forever and forever about movie noir. its how i got into him in the first place . picked me up and swept me away #and now i overthink and read too much into his like. 6 mins of screentime #also the rich beautiful itsv noir backstory that exists only in my mind..... which is mostly the same #just with small tweaks and adjustments. its MY SIDE CHARACTER and I GET TO CHOOSE THE HCS #eg. the insane 'peter quits working at the bugle very annoyingly for everyone involved before becoming a PI' like this shit just #swirls in my brain. forever and ever. #noir #answered #edit: sorry im just realising this is boiling down to itsv noir is freshly out of his 20s #therefore experiencing post 20s clarity and is not yet going through a peter b-like midlife crisis #and is not a teenager anymore and doesn't have to battle puberty as well as supervillians #so he's somehow doing a little better than the rest of them and able to pass on funny little tips and lifehacks

[kindaorangey]

there's no way that 1610!miles was destined to become the prowler, and not just because aaron was already the prowler in that universe (hypothetically, he could have taken over the mantle). as far as we can tell 42!miles became the prowler due to the chaos of a city without its designated spiderman, but 1610 brooklyn already had spiderman and so that environmental pressure doesn't exist. 42!miles was supposed to be spiderman but 1610!miles was not supposed to be the prowler

#atsv #miles morales #im just writing out my thoughts ive seen some dumb as shit theories on the internet #another factor that led to 42!miles becoming the prowler was probs his dad's death #so if 1610!aaron had died and 1610!miles hadn't been bitten. that might have led to a rockier path #but again that's contingent on his involvement in aaron's other life before he dies #like. in itsv miles is pretty fucking horrified by aaron being the prowler and yeah it's because he is chased by the prowler first hand #but also thats just the sort of kid he is. itd take more than just not becoming spiderman for 1610!miles to become a straight up villain #(and even then i think 42!miles is sort of just doing what he thinks he needs to do to support his family) #(and 1610!aaron is implied to have had no alternative) #BASICALLY #stop finding excuses to make miles out to be a bad person👍🏻hes literally 15 #atsv spoilers #thunder rambles

[wantbytaemin]

the fucking shitshow i experienced today…

#i won’t even get into the details of it but my work is being undermined and i didn’t say anything about it bc i was so taken aback and in #absolute shock. i have literally never Ever experienced something of this sort im not being dramatic i went into my office and told my #coworker girls what happened and everyone was staring blankly like ‘they said that to YOU??????’ bc it’s genuinely fucking unbelievable #got told some out of pocket shit that i willllll notttttt let slide but i need to get my shit together and think up the best way to respond #bc this wasn’t just undermining my work it was borderline humiliating. all from this woman who is supposedly my PhD mentor who NEVER #fucking helped me with anything and now she’s trying to tell me something that is SO insanely unfounded and just insane truly #as if i didn’t take over the entire goddamned (multi million) project and played the role of *drumroll* two phd students three #collaborators and TWO mentors one of whom was supposed to be the project lead. all that did so well that our ceo STILL praises me in #meetings and he never fucking praises anyone. as if i wasn’t offered two job positions in two separate labs while in one of london’s top #universities. as if i haven’t published 8 papers and a scientific book chapter which I’m the first author of #all without her help and now she wants to play mentor by trying to talk shit. oh my god im so miserable right now you have no idea #i can’t fucking stand her and no one in the company likes her anyway lmao but like #when i get out of this fucking state of SHOCK she just put me in im about to tell her to fuck off forever so politely and so wonderfully #that she will not know what happened to her. doubting MY capabilities ohhhh as if. as IF.

[heartsburst]

WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET INTO THE SADDEST FUCKING SHIPS WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF

#frankie yells #like fucking. sure any ship can be made sad if you try harder enough but also. fucking. why must it always be tragic little gays #im not complaining but also i keep fucking doing this to myself man why do i keep making myself sad over fictional gays 😭😭 #like do i just only interact with the shit that makes me sad??? do i only really get engaged with sad fics etc. for them???? #is this a me problem???? #like. um. griddlehark. destiel. hannigram (sort of). ash/eiji. satosugu. aziracrow. zukka (in certain directions). shory. aaronneil. #most of my ao3 bookmarks are me sobbing my eyes out... #OH WAIT ALSO FUCKING. REDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭 I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOME BUT OMG REDDIEEEE #me like what if none of the mfs had a happy ending together? what then? #like babygirl are you okay??? why do you always want to be so sad?? #oh god also fucking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]... both of which i had to stop reading fics for bc i was making myself too sad #like genuinely there is a certain very long fic that i had to put down bc i was making myself depressed #OHMYGOD I FORGOT WANGXIAN AND BINGQIU.... honestly mdzs and svsss in general... kicking my feet 1 moment and sobbing the next #there are sooo many ships in both of those that make me so very sad... too many to remember or list atm tbh #i should go to bed 💀 lmao #it's too late for this nonsense ans i shouldn't have been watching destiel and hannigram compilations in the first place... of course im #just making myself sad...

[jorvikzelda]

I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO

#i can already tell this is the sort of thing that’s going to be so good I’ll never recover from it #I’ve watched the movies like casually-in-the-background a couple times so I know the approximate plot #(they often run on TV somewhere around Christmas and New Year’s in Sweden so they’ve been on more than twice) #but there’s so much detail here that’s just… missed out on… in the films #Or I forgot about it lmfao #Either way loving the book detail #And also reading a book for the first time in months i told my mom id been reading today and she was like YOURE READING?! #It’s part of my social media healing process. Forcing me to like… sit down and take shit in #Used to DEVOUR books when I was younger #Just Kinda Stopped at some point (much like every other former gifted kid) #But it’s a well missed moment of escapism and calm and centering myself. meditative almost #I find lotr to be good also because it’s like… a little heavy. You can read a chapter and then sit with it for a little while #Im not quite reaching the heavy cliffhangers yet either #Each chapter feels pretty concluded #It’s a healthier reading method I feel than the ‘devour in one night then don’t read for 6 months’ thing I did in high school #the few times i DID sit down to read a book #God damn those are some long tags #z talks #not horse game #I feel so late to the party because I always see all these people enjoying lotr ;-; its so established and here am i…. #but alas

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

So while the name "Kaito Faker" would sound horrible, anyone else think it's kinda strange that neither of Dr. Faker's kids have the same last name as him? Their last names being Tenjo implies they're named after their mother, who is never seen, heard, or mentioned once throughout the entire duration of the show (unless I'm forgetting something super small, in which case tell me)

But who IS their mother? I'm sure plenty of people have talked this one to death already, but the idea of her being from Astral World has become kind of a favorite fan theory of mine considering Haruto looks like this...

There's no way he's not meant to resemble an Astralite

He and Astral both have those round head things, and his outfit resembles the line markings that Astral has on his body. Haruto has gold eyes, while Astral's got silver and gold, which I guess you could chalk up to him being like... Artificially created? If I'm remembering right? I haven't watched Zexal in so long help sodkdmdk

Blue seems to be a very common eye color for Astralites, with colors like gold being a rare exception, since the only ones who seem to have it are Enna...

And Eliphas, once again with the heterochromia

Why is he the only one other than Astral to have like,,, defined eyes by the way? No one else is good enough to get pupils and all that? They just have the entire eye be one color unless they're special? Mister "I'm the will of the entire planet so only I get to have special eyes" smh.

Seriously I want to understand their biology so badly someone please tell me what all these little details about their bodies mean

ANYWAYS I got distracted, but going back to the whole Kaito and Haruto are Astral hybrids theory, the only issues with it are the canon timeline of events. Faker wasn't shown to have started getting involved in this whole other world business until 5 years before the start of the show, meaning Kaito would have been 13 when his dad met Vector and agreed to destroy Astral World. Him having an Astral mom would need to have been a thing even further back than that, which would require Faker to have met an Astral being at least 13 years before he ever met Vector. But what would an Astralite be doing on Earth if they didn't have a mission to be there? After all, Earth is full of primitive beings who like chaos, so why would anyone go there?

Well.

This is all just me throwing ideas out there, but what if it were Enna? For one thing, she's shown protecting the children on her planet in a lot of her scenes, so she kind of gives off that motherly figure energy.

For another, she's also the only adult woman we ever see on that planet, as everyone else is either a child or Eliphas.

Enna is also like. Pro chaos, which is a very human thing (also a very Barian thing all things considered, but since Faker was still very much the dad, we'll keep going under the assumption that he and Enna could have been a thing.) Like she was very much for chaos being used to heal the residents of her world, which was kind of a radical viewpoint for her to have considering all the centuries they've spent casting it out completely. Accepting chaos seems to be a very outside way of thinking for her people, and while it is entirely possible that she simply saw people suffering and came to the conclusion on her own that getting rid of chaos just wasn't helping anyone, it'd be kinda cool if she picked that perspective up on a trip to Earth.

At this point this is becoming more of a "wouldn't it be cool if" type of post rather than a theory, but... I mean, wouldn't it be cool if Faker's role in Zexal I had been trying to connect Astral World and Earth so that he wouldn't be galaxies away from the mother of his children? Idk, I think that'd have been a way neater plot than him trying to destroy it to help his sick child, and you wouldn't have to change around Too much of the plot to make it happen. Kite would still be hunting numbers, albeit for a different reason, but still a reason related to his family. Vector likely wouldn't appear until the very end of Zexal I and could have been a boss fight. In the original plot, he had that deal with Faker that he'd heal his sick son in exchange for destroying Astral World, but you could either nix that entirely, or have Faker agree initially with every intent of double crossing Vector and having his true intentions be to get Haruto home with his other parent where he'll be safe, regardless of what happens to him as a result.

Once again, my opinion, but. I think it'd be better than what they actually did with Faker's character, having him seem cruel and evil up to the very end, not seeming to care about his son and in fact seeming to enjoy hurting him, only for a last minute reveal that he doesn't actually hate him despite all his actions showing otherwise, he had his best interests in mind the whole time, no really stop laughing. A rewrite like this would actually show him willing to do anything to keep his son out of harm's way, regardless of what might happen to him after Haruto is out of danger, and would make him far more deserving of the redemption the show tried to give him (which really was not deserved in canon all things considered, and it didn't even come from the right person, it came from Yuma, someone not part of the family he'd been hurting, but that's another separate rant.)

Like... I don't know man, I feel like Zexal gave us too many hints about Haruto not being from this world, what his his whole deal in season one, his appearance, etc, and then they just kinda let it fall flat? They set up a possible reveal for him that they just never really followed through on. :/ And I haven't even talked about his brother yet.

Kaito doesn't bear as strong a resemblance to your typical Astralite, or if he does, it's more... Subtle.

I've seen others point out that both Astral and Kaito have hair that curves up, but given that it's just these two who have that trait while all the other background citizens on Astral's home planet seem to have hair that either spikes outward or flows down, I'm not sure if that's a strong point for or against the possibility that they share a common background... Kaito also has blue eyes, which we've established as a common color for Astralites, but since it's also a common enough human eye color, it feels like a bit of a reach to call that proof, too. His dad's got purple eyes, so he definitely didn't get the color from Faker, but it's also Yugioh, so relatives having completely dissimilar characteristics isn't exactly uncommon... The two traits Kaito has that could link him to being from Astral's world could just as easily be a coincidence.

You know what's weird about Kaito? Photon Transformation. I mean, where does he even get that ability from? It's never fully explained how he'd able to do it, he just does it, and whatever it does to him, somehow hurts him to use it. That could possibly point to him not being fully human if the other half of his heritage is able to pull off something like that naturally, but we once again know so little about Astralites that it winds up being speculation again.

I haven't actually watched Zexal in a very hot minute btw, so if anyone wants to chime in to correct me on something I got wrong/add in something I missed, go right ahead!

#i wrote this literally one year ago and never got around to posting it but im posting it now while im at the clinic just so yall #have something to eat while i sort my medical shit out #yugioh zexal #kaito tenjo #haruto tenjo #ygo zexal #kite tenjo #hart tenjo #enna #this is just a ✨fan theory✨ #but i put a lot of time into it way back #and tumblr originally ate my first draft of this which killed my motivation to keep working on it because 'i Was gonna post this' #'but you decided to not save my draft so now i am not doing it' *begrudgingly starts over but with much less enthusiasm* #*saves it in my drafts for one year like a nerd time capsule* #long post #very long post

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[ickypuppi3]

okay wait that argyle post has me thinking - because i fuck so hard with the idea of him and billy knowing each other back in california -

imagine starcourt still happened but billy wasn’t in the middle of it so he’s just billy still but he’s been hanging with steve (they’re totally just friends don’t ask them if they ever held hands “it was one time and we were were drunk, right billy?”) so he’s been working on himself

cut to him somehow ending up on that road trip with jonathan, argyle etc and him and argyle being like “no fuckin’ way” and thinking it’s the funniest thing that they’re seeing each other again because i need them to reunite (jonathan’s just like what is my life rn)

see also: billy observing the will and mike situation and him and jonathan being team anti mike

also also billy getting high and him and argyle just finishing each other’s rhymes sentences while everyone else is like what the actual fuck

also also also when they get back and nancy goes back to jonathan, steve doesn’t even care because he’s too busy throwing his arms around billy and burying his face in his neck and-

“you ever had pineapple pizza stevie?? it’s totally” billy points at argyle “shmackin'”

“how high are you right now, hargrove?”

“mm like… 5’10”?”

#my words #he’d be so tall next to billy too im crying #argyle giving steve the ‘try it before you deny it’ talk #fixed the season just like that #ignoring like all of canon #because if billy was alive that would’ve never happened to max so #also i have no idea what happened in s4 im not gonna lie #steve’s cali surfer dream makes sense now #yeah i know it could be after billy being flayed #but he never deserved it in the first place #so i’m choosing to think it never happened #‘dear billy wouldn’t make sense then’ #not my problem #max still has her shitty step brother take it or leave it #let them sort their shit out with him alive yk #fuck you duffers #stranger things 4 #argyle #billy hargrove #jonathan byers #steve harrington #harringrove #stranger things #i’m so ill rn it’s not even funny but this is how i’m coping #i think that’s pretty valid #oh chrissy is still alive btw because i said so #i fw the whole hellcheer thing #lmao tagging this like it’s ao3: everyone lives/nobody dies

[ectonurites]

almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.

#super dark times #+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse #after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next #there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him #touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made #to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh. #and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! #this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being #like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD. #YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that #there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh... #[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was #straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE #also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides #at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make #sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house #anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all #to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the #initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me. #in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)

[rpfisfine]

my friend pisses me off soooooo bad

#i text her first to ask abt how her essay is going wish her luck 2 times and she doesnt even like the message or say anything she just #changes the topic and then leaves me on read. okay #plus shes been getting so weirdly paranoid that im talking shit abt her to other ppl just bc ive finally made some other friends that arent #her after 1.5 years of suffering alone at my uni #(which i seriously to be honest do just bc shes been getting on my nerves with a lot of things lately) #but like man . throughout the 1.5 years that weve been talking to each other we havent progressed enough to call each other by #our first names to get the other to turn around etc i dont think we r close enough for me to abandon the wonderful religious practice of #sometimes discussing the things that your 1 friend does that piss you off with your other friends but then still hanging out with them #not because youre some sort of irredeemably evil two faced motherfucker but because thats just a normal part of having social relationships #mp #like i get that insecurity sucks and its a shitty feeling etc but ive literally dealt with this my whole cringe embarrassing childhood & #teenage years LOL like as long as your friends still make a conscious decision to spend time with u & u have fun together #then i think you dont need to worry. which is what i do so #the sun will rise again tomorrow

[arolesbianism]

Some stuff I've drawn semi recently

#keese draws #oc art #oc #ocs #furry #furry oc #furry art #Ive been going thru it recently but Ill survive #on the bright side the pet sitting job for my aunt is coming up soon #so Ill have a house to myself for a bit at least #Im probably still gonna be fairly offline for the foreseeable future unless I somehow manage to fix my sleep schedule anytime soon #not to say I will be on any sorta complete hiatus or anything just that Im not getting any more active most likely #not that I think anyone rly cares at this point since its been the norm for a while now but yknow #Ill still be around to answer asks and stuff just dont freak out if I take a lil bit to see it 👍 #anyways enough of being a downer Im actually pretty happy with these even if theyre mostly just doodles #also I havent posted any art of these guys in a While but say hi to them while you can cause theyre back into the void of my brain now #first is keese (the oc™) second is toon and third is clyve #all from different stories but toon and clyve are both from the magic cat universe #their paths never meet tho the closest connection they have has to go through like 4 characters first #you can also tell theyre from different stories because one is anthro and the other isnt lol #generally speaking I consider anthro designs slightly more canon but both are canon depending on the story #not in a shapeshifting way just in a me being an inconsistent bitch sorta way #but yeah keese the oc is much older than either of those two I just dont talk abt them or their story ever #but hey if any of yall remember suckerz those two are besties #suckerz is sort of younger than the other two and sort of much older than all three #shes a sort of updated version of a reallyyyy old sona sort of character I had in like 6th grade I think #back during my lilo and stitch experiment oc era where I had one that was music themed #I also had a digimon variant of her she was called like beatramon or smth like that #she was basically a hypothetical music mascot and shes kind of still that tbh #if I ever get enough into making music that I start posting shit it will be my music mascot

[dreamlogic]

quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.

#ctxt #shit chat #they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years #but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch #one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on #and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing #and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate #person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you? #person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much #*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat* #like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity #and is generally a healthy communication habit #but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up??? #and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day #calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things #instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent #which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things #while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up #i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together #and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years #before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.