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#so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone
forzarma · 2 days
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jude bellingham x fem!reader
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You spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen, baking Jude's favorite cookies. You carefully measured each ingredient, adding extra chocolate chips just the way he liked it.
But when Jude came home from training, he was in a bad mood. His face looked upset, and he seemed really unhappy.
"Hey, babe, I made you some cookies," you said, trying to sound cheerful even though you felt a little worried.
He barely looked at you, his eyes focused somewhere far away. "Can't you see I'm tired?" he snapped, his voice sounding sharp and angry.
You felt your heart sink as his words hit you hard. You had only wanted to make him happy, but now he was mad at you.
"I'm sorry," you murmured, feeling small and sad. "I didn't mean to bother you."
You went back to the kitchen, leaving him alone with his feelings. The house felt quiet and empty without his usual laughter and jokes.
For the next two days, you hardly spoke to each other. The silence between you felt heavy, filled with apologies you couldn't say and hurt you couldn't express.
You didn't understand why he had been so mean to you. Had you done something wrong? Was he angry with you for some reason?
You kept thinking about it, but you were too scared to ask. You didn't want to make things worse.
As the days went by, you felt yourself pulling away from him, putting up walls to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
But even though you were mad at him, you still missed him. You missed his smile, his laugh, his warmth.
Finally, unable to stay angry any longer, Jude came to find you. He saw you sitting in the kitchen, staring sadly at the half-empty cookie jar.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice soft and full of regret.
You looked up, surprised to see tears in his eyes. You could tell he felt really bad about what he had done.
"I was wrong to be mean to you," he said, his voice shaky. "You didn't deserve that."
You wanted to stay mad at him, but when he reached out to hold your hand, you couldn't help but forgive him.
"I forgive you," you whispered, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
He pulled you into a hug, holding you tight like he never wanted to let go. You closed your eyes and let yourself be comforted by his presence.
In that moment, you knew that no matter what happened, you would always be there for eachother.
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semi-sketchy · 2 days
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Alright, since I'm at that episode, I'm gonna elaborate on my actual problem with Dark Sonic:
To be honest, I don't think there's anything really wrong with Sonic during the episode. He's angry his friends have been hurt by a villain, so he harnesses the power of the fake Emeralds (which he has a physical negative reaction to) and smashes said villain's testing robots to pieces.
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I never really considered this a problem. Sonic can get angry, be antagonized, the SA2 Shadow fight in Green Forest springs to mind.
Plus, Secret Rings has Darkspine Sonic, which is about as close to Dark Sonic as it gets. Sharha just died, trading her life for his, he absorbs the Rage, Sadness and Hatred Rings and transforms.
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Even after he leaves the transformation, he still seems pretty pissed at Erazor Djinn, with killing Sharha at the top of the list.
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So, yeah. It's not 1:1 and I'm not claiming these are the same, X is obviously more exaggerated, but I don't really have a problem with the concept. We can talk about how Eggman comes in, tells Sonic he needs to be better and not let his emotions overwhelm him, but frankly I think that's more of an X!Eggman issue than the transformation itself.
No, my real problem is, and always has been, how the fandom interpreted it. That's it. I've read so many fics, seen so many posts about Sonic just "turning dark" when angry, as if any transformations have ever been purely emotion without an external power-source. (Super requires the Chaos Emeralds, Hyper the Super Emeralds, Darkspine was 3 of the World Rings, Werehog was Dark Gaia energy, Excalibur Sonic was the sacred swords, Wisp transformations needed the Wisps, Super Sonic 2 was Chaos Emeralds + Cyber energy....you get it.)
The way I've always saw it, is yes, Sonic is upset, but he also is being affected by the fake Emeralds.
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This is the Discotek translation, I don't know enough Japanese to say how accurate it is, all I know know is "warui" means bad/sick depending on the sentence. An older translation (and the English dub) points to him feeling physically sick around them.
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Far as I can tell, he's already reacting bad to these Emeralds on top of being antagonized, so he uses power that's at his disposal does what the villain wants: fuck up his shit.
If the fake Emeralds didn't exist, this transformation wouldn't have happened. Additionally, since X ended and the only fake Emerald in the games was blown up in SA2, it can't happen again. (Unless you write scenario where someone makes fake Emeralds, but that requires writing for the form instead of just slapping it in à la characters in IDW.)
Perhaps I'm being too hard on a lot of kids that never really interacted with the source material and just wanted to write Sonic fanfics. I've read so many that made it quite obvious that the author didn't know anything about Sonic besides he's fast and I'm not really out here trying to say Sonic shouldn't inspire people to create. Never said I hated reading those fics, I got a good deal of entertainment out of them. It's simply this misconception has stretched so far, it's like the original context has been entirely erased.
And that's the part of Dark Sonic that bothers me.
I've seen plenty of arguments for why the transformation was a poor choice and I don't entirely disagree with them. For me, I could take it or leave it. It was a one-off short transformation in an anime where Sonic pretends to be Star Trek for a season, it just exists to me.
Although, it's been awhile since I last saw discussion of Dark Sonic, as a whole it seemed to be a bigger thing in the early 2010s. Possibly because now we have more recent Sonic shows and movies, it's not just X being the latest thing anymore. I certainly don't read fics like I used to, so I'd be surprised if it is still as heavily used as it used to be. Maybe if I get some time, I'll look up some fics and find out.
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thatkinkyautistic · 11 months
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"you're so quiet!" thanks, i have a speech impediment and I'm hoh so communication is already difficult, and i was conditioned to think i have of substance to say because nobody would try to hold a genuine conversation with me, no matter how much i worked on my conversation skills. 99% of people around me don't care, they don't really listen to me or listen at all. they don't respond to me more than half of the time. they just ignore me, or punish me for talking. no fucking shit that i don't talk much when I've been treated like I don't really have any worth as a family member or friend, unless people can get something from me and I'm trying to fit into their box of what's acceptable, so it's convenient for them. yeah.
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itgoeso · 4 months
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.
#one of the most annoying parts of having bpd isn’t even part of the bpd itself but it's the stigma#and don’t get me wrong this shit is FUCKING HELL and very hard and embarrassing#but the way people think bpd is somehow the same thing as sociopathy or psychopathy is just like ??????????????#and the way even doctors are so sensationalist about it and it does affect your overall hope for how you're gonna be able to#idk navigate life with it. because they make it look like someone who has bpd#is just the worst most difficult and awful human being on earth#like everyone else isn't difficult everyone else doesn't struggle w emotions or relationships or abandonment#and the way they approach it truly makes you feel like you're damaged for life and you're broken and you're doomed#i could go on and on about how this is just upsetting and like sometimes when people learn that i have bpd they're surprised#because i keep a lot of things and feelings to myself because i don't want to be the stereotype#i'm venting but what i mean is that i think the stigma around bpd just makes everything harder#for instance i feel the need to be centred because otherwise i'll be perceived as a bpd stereotype#so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone#i can't fear not having someone in my life anymore i can't fear being alone and so on#i have to be manageable and cool and nonchalant and complaisant all the time#sometimes i feel like i'm not allowed to be a person BECAUSE i have bpd#but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others
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ndcgalitzine · 1 year
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...
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the-pigeon · 2 years
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sometimes you just gotta sit down and realise that you kinda suck. and then you gotta learn to deal with that
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Recently every conversation with my mom has left me feeling like a child again
#y'know when you were little and your parents were upset but you wanted to tell them something you cared about and they got angry at you for#being happy and wanting to share it with them#that's been how every conversation with my mom has ended for the last two days#i just empty and emotional but I can't do anything about it cause I'm too small and young to help her#i just have to keep being around her and try to make her feel better#it's hard. it's really hard. i miss my dad#i know she's struggling but she doesn't have to act like that to me#and we had been doing so well before my brother came home and now that he's back at school it's like we have to learn to live together all#over again and I don't want to#i just want to lay in bed and cry#i feel like how I felt in middle school when I would lock myself in the bathroom to cry bc my bedroom door didn't have a lock and my family#would just walk in whenever they wanted to do I cried in the bathroom and it was always while I was crying I could hear my whole family#making fun of me for crying in the bathroom and making jokes about how I was crying again and being dramatic and stupid and it kind of#forever tainted my connection with my own emotions and being brushed off by my mom brings me back to that exact feeling#i wanna lock myself in the bathroom and cry so hard I can't breathe while listening to my parents make fun of me for crying#I'm just having a rough day and I'm stressed and sad and it's the first showing of the play tonight and I'm terrified I'm gonna fuck up#and I just want to have a good day but it's all been sucky so far#i hate it#i wake up happy and then I go to start my day and I talk to my mom and then it's like all motivation is drained from me and I want to just#get back into bed again#:((((
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yuribalisms · 2 years
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promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but
#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to#i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people#i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i#tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating#i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top#of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license#but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now#i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up#and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall#and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now#i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations#out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse'#like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the#no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and#scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that#'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the#other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that#i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life#something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet#and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me#so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF#i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now#but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and#i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand#i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two...#but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally#nothing else i could do#i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING#i'm tired of living
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jedi-bird · 1 year
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My chiropractor is probably going to yell at me this week for over doing it yet again but I've made progress. I have a list forming of the furniture we need to get versus what can be repurposed. I have more stuff ready to either be donated or passed on to friends. Ideas for the office are being written down so my partner can think about them without feeling pressured. I'm not sure how long this energy is going to last so I have to do as much as possible as quickly as possible.
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thegeekyartist · 2 years
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...
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lillybean730 · 1 year
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finally took a quiz abt low empathy bc ive been having Thoughts abt the way i interact with and understand people recently
got a 25
"results below 30 are consistent with low empathy associated with autism an-" i close the tab
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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months
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A Alastor x wife!reader where reader has been wanting a family and finally by some miracle she discovers she's pregnant
Just a thought 🫠
You are not even the third person to ask for this and we're all already delusional here soooooo-
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Sadness, Reader has baby fever and spreads it to her husband unintentionally, A little angst, Implied baby making 😉
Description: 👆⬆️
Alastor would do anything for his wife, spare no expense for her happiness and it shows
You two have talked previously about your obvious desire for a family with him
He would be willing to give that to you even though he's admittedly not the biggest fan of the idea
Part of him is scared of being a father but he won't ever admit that
You two both knew that sinners couldn't reproduce, and it crushed you that the opportunity was taken from you
You were still happy to have your husband and your found family at the hotel
You just still had that desire to have a baby, your husband's baby to be exact
Alastor hates seeing you so hurt over this, he wants to fix things for you, but this is out of his control
He couldn't give you a baby no matter how hard he tried, and that makes him feel helpless, which makes him angry
Sometimes the longing for a baby and the despair of knowing you can't have one gets to be too much for you and you unintentionally draw into yourself
Not amount of hugging or soothing words from your husband can console you, no matter how hard you cling to him and seek his comfort
You're just so sad sometimes
Which leads to Alastor being frosty and agitated with the others around the hotel, upset that he can't just fix it
He would give you the biggest family if he could, whatever he could do to make you feel whole
It's not like you two are neglecting each other or growing apart, there's just this heavy feeling hanging between you two
Everyone knows something is up with you two, but nobody is brave enough to ask, except maybe Vaggie, but she's respecting your privacy as a couple
Of course, it's Charlie who tries to get to the bottom of things for the two of you, everyone is just worried you two are fighting
So when you finally relent and tell her the truth, she's relieved that you and Alastor only want to have a baby-
YOU AND ALASTOR WANT TO HAVE A BABY!?
Sinners can't reproduce so you're just riding out your baby fever until it's manageable again
But no sinner has had a friend in the Morningstar family before
Not even a day later Alastor is greeted by Lucifer while you're out with Charlie and the others
"Hey man, heard you wanted me to get your wife pregnant! Lucky for you, I happen to have a thing for married women~"
When you come back home you're surprised to see Lucifer and your husband talking amicably, both turning their heads towards you immediately
"Ah! Would you look at the time? I should really get going, things to do, ducks to make-what?"
Lucifer gives you an unexpected side hug on his way out, hand resting momentarily on your stomach before leaving
You rub where he touched, surprised by the sudden warmth that lingers there
Your husband is looking at you strangely too but kisses you in greeting before you can even question it
Alastor acts rather clingy the rest of the day, following you around, asking you how you're feeling, giving affection more freely
You can't deny that you're loving the attention and soaking up every bit of it, the warmth in your stomach having spread throughout your entire body now
If Alastor's sudden neediness is anything to go by, he's feeling the same as you are
How either of you manage to wait until everyone has gone to bed to indulge in each other is beyond you
The entire night is a blur but when you wake up the entire bed has nearly been torn apart
Feathers are all over the place, the blankets have all been kicked away or shredded, the bed frame is clawed and cracked
You would almost feel embarrassed, but when you look at your handiwork on your husband, you can't help but feel proud
Things mostly go back to normal after that, except Lucifer visits more often and seems to pay special attention to you
You feel like everyone is watching you lately and you don't know why, you're never alone anymore, your husband especially is very hovery
But it ends up working out in your favor because one day you wake up, overwhelmed by the urge to vomit, your husband holding back your hair
And it keeps happening for days on end, and you start gaining weight without explanation, and your cravings are suddenly intense and-
Your husband is looking a little too pleased with himself, rubbing your back soothingly as you poke at your mysteriously changing body in the mirror
"You did this to me somehow, didn't you!"
"Why honey, why would I need to babytrap you when we're already married?"
"Because you-what?"
It takes a few moments to register what he said, all the strange things in the last few months clicking into place
"You got me pregnant..?"
He actually starts to look a little embarrassed, suddenly unsure if he really did the right thing after all-
When did he end up on the bed?
Is definitely sure in his decision later when he exits the bedroom, fixing his hair and clothes while he leaves you sleeping in bed
Luckily, the hotel has a lot of people who are willing to help out with your pregnancy because Alastor is worried he's actually in over his head
Your mood swings are more like mood hurricanes and sometimes he needs help knowing the right things to say
"Y/N, don't worry about not fitting into your own clothes, this is uh...just an opportunity to get new ones!"
"T-Thanks Vaggie..."
The cravings start to get fucking weird, Alastor genuinely repulsed by some of the things you're asking him for
"Darling, I can get you fresh meat as bloody as you want but do you really need to eat it with cake and ice cream?"
"Don't you love me..?"
He'll be back in 10 minutes
The bigger you get, the more sore and tired you are, constantly needing help around the hotel as you waddle around
"Thanks for helping me, Husk...I was getting really tired."
"Charlie, is it alright if I sit in that chair? My back is killing me.."
Alastor is scared with how vulnerable you are like this so he sticks close to you but silently appreciates the help from everyone
Even the other overlords come to see your miracle pregnancy, which doesn't help with Alastor's paranoia over how defenseless you are right now
They just want to see
As if Carmilla or Rosie would let anything happen to you anyways, Rosie loves the crap out of you and Carmilla wouldn't hurt an expecting mother
Rosie is constantly visiting and bringing baby gifts, so many that they're starting to pile up around the hotel
"Oh darling, you're practically glowing! Alastor! Have you told Y/N how radiant she is with her pregnancy?"
She wants to be Aunty Rosie so bad
Alastor genuinely admires the changes in your body, feeling pride in the thought that he did this to you
"With a little help from the big boss of-"
"You haven't left already?"
"I want to talk to my god child~ Can you stop hogging Y/N's belly for five minutes?"
"Your what now?
Alastor rubs your belly a lot, baffled by the idea that his spawn is in there and how happily you carry it
How you're so proud to be having his kid is beyond him, he knows what a wretched man he is and you still love him, take pride in him
The first time he feels the baby kick, he's a little unnerved but then you guide his hand back, smiling at him in a way that makes his heart ache for you
"Our baby wants to say hi to you..."
Okay, now his heart is melting, give your husband a kiss right now
Starts kissing and talking to your belly more after that, talking to the baby about anything and everything as if you're not even there
"Now your mother, you have no idea how lucky she is to have me as her husband~"
Confides in you late one night, about his fear of being a father and failing you and the baby
Not him having tears pinpricking in the corners of his eyes as you kiss him and reassure him
He doesn't particularly care about the gender of his child, just that you and the little spawn are okay
But if the baby is a girl, then he would like her to have his mother's name, that's all he would ask really
If the baby is a boy then he'll let you pick the name out as long as it's something fancy sounding
Does all the work when it comes to the nursery and baby proofing but has no idea what that actually entails, so you'll have to help him out
He's so proud to show you the finished look
The closer it gets to your due date, the more out of sorts and anxious he is but he tries to put on a brave face for you
He makes sure you never have to lift a finger, doing everything he can to make you comfortable and spending all his free time with you
Carmilla and her daughters all volunteer to assist in the labor, Zestial coming for the sake of tagging along
Alastor is in genuine anguish when you actually go into labor, the sound of you in pain and him being helpless to help is torture for him
Refuses to leave your side the entire time, blocking out everything else but you and encouraging you as best he can
Focuses so hard on taking care of you that he hardly notices that you've finished, surprised when Carmilla suddenly puts not one but two babies in your arms
You're visibly exhausted but seem to gain a renewed energy at the sight of your babies, looking at them in wonder before giving Alastor a tearful smile
"A boy and a girl, a miracle on top of already being miracle babies. Congratulations, Alastor."
Carmilla pats him on the shoulder before leaving, pulling Zestial and her daughters along with her
Alastor doesn't even register what she said, still dumbfounded at the sight of you cooing at two squirming infants
TWINS!? Lucifer, you sneaky son of a bi-
"Do you want to hold them, Alastor?"
"I would love nothing more, my dear..."
He definitely doesn't immediately fall in love when his babies cling to him like they'll never let go, holding his fingers in their unbelievably tiny hands
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A LITTLE TREAT FOR ALL OF YOU WHO WERE BEGGING FOR THIS
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verstappen-cult · 2 months
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CHASING HEARTS | MV1 & CL16
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summary: you’ve been friends with max and charles for quite a while now, but as much as you’ve tried you just can’t keep denying your true feelings anymore. so, what happens when they came knocking on your door demanding an explanation?
pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader x charles leclerc. content warnings: hurt/comfort, poly relationship.
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“she said she was busy studying,” charles says as he gets out of max’s car parked right in front of your building. “i don’t think we should be here.”
max gives him an exasperated look. “and you really believe that?” when charles shrugs, max can’t help but roll his eyes. “she’s been ignoring us and giving poor excuses to not hang out with us for weeks, don’t you think it’s a little strange?”
charles, in fact, finds it strange. at first he thought nothing of it, but then max came to him ranting about how he saw you hanging out with oscar and lando, laughing about something the younger boy had said, but when he got closer, that beautiful and melodic laugh died in your throat, and you didn't look at him once.
charles just looked at max and waited patiently until the boy stopped his ranting. what came next was a conversation that was bound to happen. but when they tried to approach you they were met with a cold text saying you were too busy, while you tried very hard not to cross paths with them around university.
they just can't take it anymore. ambushing you at your own house it's probably a bad idea, but hey, they need answers.
the elevator ride to your apartment can't be fast enough, max thinks that if he has to spend another minute without knowing what happens he will most definitely go crazy.
the blonde-haired boy slams his fist against your door, anxiety and anger building inside of him. charles has to put his hand on his shoulder to try and ground him.
you open the door wrapped in a very cosy blanket, surprised to find them there. "hi?" you say, at a loss for words. you've missed them, you'd be lying if you say that having them in front of you, even if max looks angry and charles a little sad, it's not what you've been dreaming about.
"hi, sweetheart." charles gives you his signature smile, with dimples on display and everything. "can we come inside?" he asks, but max is already pushing the door open and making his way into your home.
"i can't to his anymore," it's the first thing max says, hands on hips and a frustrated expression on his face. "what is happening? i need an answer now. we need answers. you've kept us in the dark long enough."
charles knows max is hurting and trying very hard not to take it out on you, even if you're the who caused this, so, he takes a step forward.
"we've missed you, right?" the monégasque raises his eyebrows, throwing daggers at him. max sighs, shoulders dropping slightly. "we just need to know why are you ignoring us. and if after that you don't want to see us again, then... we will not force you."
that's exactly what you don't want to do and why you distanced yourself in the first place. you promise yourself you were not going to tell them the reason.
you close the door while wrapping the blanket tighter around your shoulders, as if that is going to magically make you disappear.
"i—um, it's not..." you avoid making eye contact, fearing that if you do your walls will crumb and you'll let your true feelings rise to the surface. you're in great danger already.
max makes a noncommittal grunt and mutters something under his breath.
you sigh, putting on a brave face. "i just been busy. finals are around the corner and i've been distracted," you raise your eyes to, finally, look at them and charles heart skips a beat, even if he catches your gaze for just a second.
"bullshit," max hisses through his teeth, seeing right through you. why did you thought you'd succeed in lying to them? "did we do something to upset you?"
"no! no, you didn't to anything wrong." you rub your hands over your face, exasperated.
"then why are you doing this?" charles really doesn't understand because you aren't making any sense. "we thought everything was fine.”
max inhales softly, counting to ten in his head. "i even asked lando if he knew something and he said it was not his secret to tell, so, we know something is happening."
"i can't be your friend anymore!" you feel tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.
"what?" both say at the same time, but you don't have the heart to look at their faces.
max runs his hands through his hair, it's a little too long again and you'd volunteer to cut it if it weren't for what's happening right now.
charles paces around the living room, alternating between looking at you and then at his feet.
"it's not that big of a deal," you shrug, walking past them into the kitchen to make some tea just to have something to do. "it's not like i'm an important part of your life."
they follow you into the kitchen because of course they can't leave it at that.
"what are you talking about?" charles sounds broken, he can't believe you'd think so little of you. and what you actually mean to him and max. "if you really think we can forget about you that easily, then you don't know me. or max." he says, tugging at max's wrist.
"you're very, very important to us. we care about you, we've been so worried—"
"i just can't, okay!?" you turn around, forgetting all about the tea. "i can't get in the way. i won't."
"in the way of what?" max sounds so confused, and when you look at charles, his expression is the same one as the boy standing next to him.
"i know you're together." you whisper, glancing fearfully between them.
"well, obviously." charles chuckles, amusement tilting his voice, but his expression still shows how confused he is. "i mean, we're not exactly subtle about it. and we spend a lot of time together, so, you would've noticed, eventually."
"that's exactly the problem!" you throw your hands in the hair, finally giving up. you can't do it anymore. "i like you." your eyes widen in fear once you hear yourself saying the words you swore to yourself you would not to say out loud.
max looks at charles, but charles keeps looking at you like you've grown a third head or something. and when neither of them says anything, you know you've fucked everything up.
"i like you, too." charles finally says, letting go of max wrist to get closer to you, but he doesn't get too far because you are moving out of the way, away from him as much as you can.
"you don't understand," you look at them with cheeks burning with embarrassment. "i like you. both of you. and not like friends should like other friends, okay? so i can't be friends with you."
max laughs, like actually laughs, throwing his head backwards and all. it makes you feel stupid and tiny in that big, stupid kitchen.
you should not have said it. you should have made something up, you should have acted like a grown ass adult and shove those feelings deep inside of you, forgetting all about wanting to be held by them, and kissed, and comforted.
stupid girl with stupid feelings—
"hey," max says, in a voice too small to be his own. "can i come a little closer?" your shoulders tighten, you really want to say no but you are nodding before your mind can catch up with it.
max walks slowly, being followed closely by charles. they don't want to scare you and have you walking away from them again.
"sometimes," max says carefully as you bite your lip trying to regulate your breathing. "these things happen. we're not actually seeking them but, as most things in life, things happen... i know how that feels, schatje." charles lifts his right hand so, so slowly, until is resting on your hip, fingers pressing into your skin ever so slightly.
"i'm so sorry, max —"
"don't apologize. you don't need to apologize for having feelings." he says and you bite your lower lip harder, tasting blood. you don't deserve his gentleness, you don't deserve charles’ caring touch, you don't deserve anything. "you didn't do anything wrong, okay?”
you open your mouth to say something, but close it again quickly when charles shakes his head.
"you still don't get it, do you?" the brown-haired boy asks, and coos at you when you tilt your head to the side. "max, she doesn't get it."
they share a knowing look, smiling playfully when his eyes are back on you again. you feel lightheaded, aware that something is happening right in front of your eyes but not understanding a single thing.
"we planned on having this conversation a little bit different," charles beings to say as max's hand finds comfort on your lower back. "max would cook something for us and we would eat, then watch and movie and, at the end of the night, we would have this conversation."
max hums, nodding along. "but you ghosted us and fucked all of our plans." the monégasque slaps his chest playfully with his free hand while you feel like you're gonna be sick.
"wha—what are you talking about?" your heart is about to be spilled out onto the floor.
"we like you, too." charles confirms, his voice rumbling through your ears.
"we didn't noticed what was happening at first," max has a small, shy smile on his face as he remembers the exact moment he had the conversation with charles, where both of them ended up crying while trying to understand what it all meant to them. "it was thanks to you ignoring us that we realized our true feelings."
"at least something good happened because of it." charles' voice is small like a child's and, for the first time in forever, you cup his cheek, his skin feeling soft and so warm. you do the same with max, getting goosebumps all over your body.
"you're not playing with me?" you need to be sure before getting your hopes up.
max's grips tightens on you. "we aren't that cruel, baby."
you want to cry. and scream, and laugh, and cry some more.
you look at each other for what feel like ages, you've missed each other so much that now that you are finally reunited, you don't want to be apart anymore.
then, the three of you start giggling like children.
"can i kiss you?" charles shyly ask, earning a snort from max beside him.
your tiny nod it's all he needs to lean in and brush his lips against yours. it's a timid kiss, tasting each other slowly. it's delicate and gentle, you feel like floating up in the air which leaves you feeling dizzy when he eventually pulls away.
max doesn't asks, he just leans and waits for you to make the first move. which you definitely do. there are butterflies in you belly and you feel so nervous that you bump your nose with his, making them both laugh. max grins into the kiss and lets you take all the control, following your lead.
their kisses leave you feeling warm all over and with a buzzing in your ears that even after an hour of making out still won’t go away.
it's stupid and it's not gonna be easy. there are so many preconceptions about poly relationships that you know people will talk. but for now you don't care about anything but the two boys glued to your sides as you cuddle together on the couch.
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angelltheninth · 11 months
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Feeling angsty so could you do Spiderverse characters with the “Don’t you ever do that again!” prompt? Could be either side saying it.
Angst! Everyone could use more am I right?
Pairing: Peter B. Parker, Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, Miguel O'Hara, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar x Reader
Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, worry, injury, superhero work, late night talks, fear of loss, soothing kisses, crying
A/N: We need to keep things nice and balanced between the fluff, smut and angst.
5. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
Peter doesn't take as many risks as he used to before you were married. He still gives it his all, of course he does, but he's not reckless when he fights. There does tend to be an ocassion where he will act like that still, come home with injuries, a bloody nose and such but he tries to keep those to a minimum to not worry you. He faces your wrath for those before, and he would rather fight a hundread more enemies then make you sad, angry and scared for him.
Miles already knows to be careful when doing hero work but he is also a bit of a show off. He makes it a habit to visit you after and one night he shows up in a pretty bad state, unable to go home. You call his parents and make up an excuse that he fell asleep during movie night, all the while he's groaning with an ice pack on his ribs. While laughing about a joke he made his ribs hurt even more so you have to kiss him to make him stop, and to comfort yourself. While his injuries will heal he needs to promise to be more careful, one Spider-man already died in this universe, and your boyfriend won't be next.
Gwen lost someone imortant because she wasn't paying enough attention. You bet she gets pissed off when she sees you jumping head first into danger. But she doesn't just yell, she starts crying while patching up your injuries because she can't handle the thought of losing you. It ends with you being the one who is holding her in your lap, kissing her cheeks with bruised lips telling her how she's your inspiration for doing what you do, you don't regret it and a few injuries, big or small, won't stop you from being her best partner.
Miguel downplays his own injuries but goes off when he sees you put yourself in danger. He's a big guy, he heals pretty fast too but you, fully human and so damn hardheaded. How can he not tell you to take it easy from time to time. You laying in bed with a fever from a venom that you took instead of him. Venom, something that's already in his blood, reckless as hell. Every kiss that he gives you is like the last, his hands fast as they check you for injuries but really gentle, like you'll break in his hands.
Hobie hums a song while you patch his injuries trying to soothe you, his fingers tapping on the bed, foot moving along with his hums. Not a single note back? Why are you so upset? His life isn't in danger or anything, he' ll be fine. Or you can kiss it better, that's an option. Anything, just cry okay? He's proud of the work he's doing, risks are part of it, but its worth it to make a better, safer world for the two of you, and everyone else of course.
Pavitr has a hard time keeping his groans of pain to himself but he doesn't wanna worry you any more then he already has. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his side, whispering that he's gonna be okay eventually. Until then he will take it easy so don't yell at him again, he knows he should have been more careful but at times his body moves on his own without thinking. Kinda like when he kisses you, only more painful.
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blackkwidowed · 3 months
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Imagine kissing Nats bruises and scars after a mission and just being soft and showing her so much love.
I just wanna give Nat a hug tbh
just the entire concept of nat finding it so hard to be vulnerable around anyone but you is both heartbreaking yet the softest most adorable shit ever. here's a little drabble. some darker themes here as well i guess. also, best friend bucky? you got a taste of that here as well. also haven't proofread so sorry
When the few team mates arrive back off a mission, there's a dark, almost sad, atmosphere among them. Natasha, Bucky, and Clint had gone together for a few days to track something down. They'd come back early, empty handed, bruised, beaten down and overall, unsuccessful.
Natasha had looked the most upset. She hadn't been crying or anything, she just looked glum. She looked like she'd seen something no one wants to see.
Immediately you say your hellos to everyone, glad that they made it back safely and in once piece- albeit a few bruises and minor injuries. Something had happened out there.
You pull Natasha into your arms and there's something about the way she relaxes and sinks against you that makes your concern skyrocket. Fingers running through her hair, you cup the base of her skull in your hand and bring the other to her cheek for her to look at you. "What happened, my love?"
She sighs, the kind of sigh that speaks for itself.
"We found a group of kids. They'd all been locked up by these asshole guys we were trying to find. They'd been brainwashed. Beaten. Taken from their families and forced into whatever the hell kind of project that's been lined up for them."
You flinch, closing your eyes and repeating Natasha's sigh from before. You understand now.
"Got jumped by some security who've had training from God knows where. Good enough to get some hits in, put it that way." She cranes her neck a little, moves her hair out the way, enough to show the budding purple mark under her ear that's making it way across her jaw. "Powerful bunch, these guys. We're gonna need some more planning before we go back in there."
You nod in agreement, tracing your finger gently across the mark and pressing a soft, barely there kiss to the skin.
"Are you okay?" It comes as a whisper, gentle and only just loud enough for her to hear it. "I mean, I know you're not okay as such just. What do you need?"
She smiles gently at you, pushing herself closer to you again and resting her nose in the crook of your neck. "This is good."
You press a kiss to the side of her head, looking up at the guys who're now sat at the breakfast bar of the kitchen, also looking on like they've seen a ghost. You can't help but feel sorry for whatever they've seen, it takes a lot to have them left feeling like this.
You send Nat to your room, telling her you'll be up there in a moment and to get changed out of her suit. Quickly, you make your way over to the boys and rest a hand on each of their shoulders. "You need anything you know where I am, alright?"
They thank you thoroughly, Bucky even slinging an arm around your waist and squeezing lightly as a thank you. "Take care of her, yeah? I think, maybe, she's reminded of everything she went through. It's hit her, this one. Just take care of her."
Bucky's smile is laced with pain, heartache. You don't see him like this often either. You nod at him. "Of course."
-
What you find in your room is enough to make you angry. Nat's got a fair few bruises, and it makes you want to track down the bastard(s) that managed to leave such a mark on her soul.
She's sat on the end of the bed, glancing over the hand shaped mark on her arm where she'd been grabbed and thrown just hours earlier. She's not even mad that she let her guard down. Normally she'd be upset with herself, but she can't think about it.
You perch at the head of the bed against the pillows, beckoning her over in a gentle tone. She settles into your side and curls an arm around you tightly, as if she's frightened you'll leave. It only makes you grip her tighter.
Peppering gentle kisses to the side of her face, she sighs in relief and sinks somehow deeper into you, nuzzling into your neck. You're warm, familiar, comforting, you're everything she needs in a time of need.
"Thank you," she whispers against your skin.
"For what, baby?"
"Being here when I need you."
You smile softly, raising a hand to her face and brushing your fingers across her cheek. You kiss her softly, slowly, so gentle she has to pull you even closer so you'll kiss her firmer. Your lips move against hers and it might just be the highlight of Natasha's day, feeling you like this.
"You don't ever have to thank me. You know that's what I'm here for." You continue stroking her cheek, down her neck, and back up. Touches like this are her favourite. It warms her heart when she remembers the bruise on the side of her face, and the fact that your touch is so gentle against her skin that the contact with the bruise doesn't bother her even a little bit. "I love you."
Natasha hums softly, moving to lay on top of you now. She kisses you again, whispering against your mouth. "I love you."
You hold her close, hands running across her hips, fingers trailing up her back. She lays on you, nuzzled in and as close as possible. You don't ever want either of you to move, this is where you're content. This is your happy place.
She's relaxed now, happier, and you know today's at the back of her mind still but for a moment, she can forget about it. She feels safe now, comforted. You're her happy place, her everything, her lifeline. To her, you make it worth it.
"Get some sleep for me okay?" You murmur into her hair.
You feel her nod against where she lays on your chest. "Only if i can stay here."
You give a soft laugh, rubbing a hand up her back and tangling into red hair. "Always."
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mypoisonedvine · 8 months
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Tommy’s teenage love, whom he got separated from when he went to france.. Sad, bitter and heartbreaking end for them.
But now years later he sees her again, and the tension is 👀👀
I know this doesn't have to be dark but of course I made it a little dark 🤣 tommy just can't take no for an answer...
warnings: DUBCON DARK SMUT 18+ ONLY!, yandere, infidelity/cucking, breeding
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It wasn't until he tried to kiss you, and you backed away, that he really got angry. Up until that point, it seemed like he'd thought the life you'd made for yourself while he was gone was just a minor inconvenience at most-- but your resistance irritated him. You didn't remember being so nervous around him when he was upset.
"Why won't you kiss me?" he asked softly, and you weren't even sure how to answer that question... wasn't it obvious?
"Thomas," you mumbled, "it was nice to catch up, but..."
He tightened his fists as you trailed off, making you feel oddly trapped while standing in your own kitchen. "I kept my promise," he told you firmly. "I never loved anyone else."
"You can't be angry with me," you scoffed. "Tommy, we were children! We didn't understand what any of it really meant--"
"You didn't really love me?" he assumed sharply.
"O-of course I did," you sighed, "Tommy, of course. I loved you so much. But I grew up."
Your fingers absent-mindedly twisted your wedding ring around your finger, guilt stirring in your chest. If you were honest with yourself, you knew you never moved on from Tommy completely-- no one ever forgets their first love. But you'd managed to put it all in the back of your mind, telling yourself that was all over... until you saw him again. Your heart could've stopped, seeing him at your door; it was like seeing him for the first time all over again, even though you could see how unkind the years had been to him.
But you had to shove all those feelings down now, and think of your husband. "You should go," you whispered, "before he gets back."
"I grew up too," he sneered, taking a step closer that made your heart race for multiple, conflicting reasons. "You have no idea the man I am now. People do what I say or they suffer consequences."
You swallowed thickly, horrified to see the darkness in his eyes-- something totally unlike the gentle, passionate young man you'd known all those years ago.
"If I want something, I take it," he continued. "Doesn't matter if it's a horse, or a gun, or another man's wife."
"Tommy," you whimpered, "my husband will be home soon... you need to leave before he comes back."
He stepped closer again, grabbing you and holding you tightly against him when you tried to step away. "Good," he decided flatly. "He can see what a little whore you are when a real man takes you."
He shoved you down onto the table harshly, ignoring your whine of pain as he pushed the bowls and plates out of the way, most of them falling off and shattering; none of that bothered him, he was too busy roughly pulling up your skirts, unfastening his trousers, holding you down. "T-Tommy, please," you choked.
"I know," he sighed, "I know, you need me so badly. How long has it been since anyone properly made love to you, darling? He could never take care of you like I do."
Sliding his fat head through your folds, you choked on a little sob.
"You still get so wet for me," he grinned happily, "still dripping, just like I remember."
Truth be told, your body still responded to him... that couldn't be denied now. You had a natural urge to give in and let him take you, let him bring you the pleasure you hadn't known since he left; but your logic and your dignity kept up the fight, though it was pretty useless against Tommy's strength-- with only one hand, he held you down while he guided his cock to your entrance.
He sighed a heavy, dark sigh of relief as he sheathed himself inside you, relaxing all over like a burden had been lifted off of him. "Oh, love," he purred, rubbing your back soothingly to try to help you stop shaking. "Oh, I'd nearly forgotten... nearly lost the memory entirely of how warm you are inside..."
You, meanwhile, were whimpering and willing your legs not to shake-- you couldn't let him see how much you loved the feeling, how you'd longed to take him inside you again, or he'd never leave you alone.
"My beautiful," he panted, "my darling..."
Setting a rough and desperate pace, his hands grabbed greedily at your body, forcing you to bite down harder on your lip to keep from moaning.
"You wouldn't believe how I missed this," he breathed. "Thought of you every day in France-- only way I survived, thinking of you... said you'd wait for me, love..."
You tried to hold back your tears, all of this bringing back emotions you thought you'd buried forever-- I would've waited for you forever, Tommy, you wanted to say, I wish I had, but I was scared that I'd never see you again.
You didn't say it, though, because you wouldn't be able to keep yourself together. You were struggling enough now, impossibly conflicted by what he was doing to you. For years you'd imagined seeing him again, but it never went quite like this in your head.
"T-Tommy," you managed choke out, and he cooed your name back at you sweetly.
"I know," he offered again, "it's really me, love-- we're really together again. I won't let you go this time."
You hadn't been lying about your husband coming home soon-- maybe Tommy thought you were, as an excuse to make him leave, but you weren't. You sobbed in shame and fear as he unlocked the door and walked in, finding you two in the kitchen with the most (understandably) bewildered look on his face.
Tommy didn't even stop.
"Wha-- Christ?! Who the fuck are you?!" your husband spat out, stammering over himself.
"I'm Tommy fuckin' Shelby," Tommy growled.
"O-oh," your husband choked, stepping back shakily towards the door. You hid your face, unable to look at him, so you only knew he left when you heard the door shut a minute later. Tommy purred and leaned down to rest his head on your back, between your shoulder blades.
"Don't think he's gonna give us any more trouble," Tommy chuckled darkly. "Fuck, love, I'm so close already-- never knew how to control myself with you..."
The way he breathed against your skin-- that hadn't changed at all. You hadn't even realized you remembered it until you heard it, and it was like you were that girl again, the girl he loved so long ago-- but you weren't anymore, or at least, that's what you had thought.
"Almost ready to fill you up nice and deep, hm?"
"Tommy," you choked, tensing up under him, and he groaned happily.
"Can't wait for our little family, darling," he cooed, "all the babies we're gonna have-- like we talked about back then, remember?"
His thrusts came faster and harder, shaking the whole table under you, and you kept hiding your face so you could try to deny your pleasure. Maybe you could hide it from yourself, but it was useless trying to hide it from him.
"I know how badly you need it," he groaned, "how long you've wanted this-- I'm yours, love, all yours again. You'll never have to be away from me again."
You knew what that really meant was that you'd never get a chance to be away from him again. It scared you just as much as it comforted you.
He came deep inside you with a long, low moan-- and for a long time, he just stayed within you, catching his breath. He only pulled out so he could lift you up a bit, turning you to face him, and finally getting you to kiss him this time. You struggled to focus on kissing him back when you could feel his come running down your thighs.
"You were always mine," he informed you with a gentle whisper against your lips. "Doesn't matter whose ring is on your finger. You'll always be mine."
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