#so because of our past I feel like I have to try and make her understand where Im coming from here. and try to get her to see reason. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellodropbear · 1 day

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like she used to

alexia putellas x sister

i have been writing this for ages and it has just sat in my documents folder since january. i don't usually post stuff i write so this will probably get taken down at some point. i've written 13k words so far but this is just the first 4k.

~~~~~~

I hadn't expected to get the call up, not at all really. But Mapi tore her meniscus and apparently the first team found themselves in need of a backup centre back and I was the best option from the B team. It's a compliment, really. Mami is very proud of me and she is excited for me and my sister to play together in a few weeks, even though she is still recovering from her surgery and I will probably not make it off the bench. I am only 15 and 10 months, usually they wait until you are at least 16 and a bit before you can play.

But, I don't really know how to feel. Thankfully Alexia won't be in training with me for now and I try to avoid thinking about what will happen when she eventually gets better and I have to face her again.

Alexia is my older sister by a lot. There's a 14 year age gap between us and I used to completely and utterly idolise her. She and Alba were two superheroes, always by my side when I needed them. I put them on a pedestal like they were the greatest human beings to ever walk the planet. To me back then, they were.

I was only four when my father died. All I remember from that time was the big black invisible sheet that hung outside his study and the dark and scary emotions that swallowed our house whole. Alba and Alexia would argue about who got to cuddle me at night and I was so unaware what was happening that I would happily agree, wiping away their tears when it all got too much.

The death of our father made our family unit stronger. Mami, Ale, Alba and Elena - it was all any of us needed and we supported each other in whatever ways we could.

Mami had to pick up more shifts at her job, so she couldn't pick me up from school. Alexia had just got her license so she would come in a break during training and pick me up in her training gear.

Alexia didn't have time to drop me off at home so I would sit and watch the training with whoever wanted to give me company when they were injured.

Most days, Alba would come and pick me up and take me on the bus all the way home. She would play cartoons on the TV as she sat at the table and did school work. Some days, when she had the time she would sit with me and watch Alexia's training and we'd all go home together. Alba used to say she enjoyed the training. Looking back, I think she just wanted a free ride home and an excuse to not do her homework.

As I grew up, everything just worked. Alexia and Alba were still living at home as a support to Mami and everything was perfect. My sisters were my idols, my Mami was my shining star. She still is. She would do anything for her daughters, as long as it meant we were all happy.

That is why it has been so hard for her over the past two years.

I have not been happy, not really. My football has been thriving, I have represented my country in the under 17 age group and I am a consistent starter idol the Barcelona B team. I spent two years in La Masia before they sent me to the B team last year and I have only been improving since. Everything is going well. Mami says I have had a better start to my career than Alexia did.

Maybe that is why Alexia hates me. Maybe Mami is just saying that to make me feel better about it.

Alexia and I, despite the 14 year age gap, were always inseparable - for the first 12 years of my life. She was at every single school event, football game, she picked me up from trainings when she could and would train me herself in the garden. We shared a common passion that Alba was not interested in at all - we both love football, we eat, sleep and breath it. Football is everything. She was the one who gave me that mentality.

"Football is life, Lena, you are lucky you are so good because now you also get to live football and hermanita, it is the most incredible thing."

She had whispered that to me when I was 11. We were sat on the beach, a place we visited frequently throughout my childhood, both of us staring out at the reflection of the moon on the sea. Alba was fast asleep, her head in Alexia's lap as she snored lightly, completely oblivious to our conversation.

It all fell apart over three years ago, although I don't have the first clue as to why.

It was not an explicit event that ruined everything, more my older sister growing up and flying the nest that was so secure and established over years and years of shared success, happiness, failure and grief. She moved out of home long before that, but her split with Jenni upset her, I think, a great deal. I wouldn't know because she didn't really tell me anything - that was strictly Alba's business.

I didn't even know they had broken up until 5 months after it actually happened.

"Mami, why does Jenni never come over any more?"

It was an innocent and normal question, but the look on my mother's face told me everything. Everything about Jenni and everything about my sister.

I think that was the first knock. She hadn't done anything wrong but I had loved Jenni and Jenni had loved me. I would have thought that she would have told me they broke up. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she just forgot. She does a lot of that these days.

Before she and Jenni broke up, she still came to all of my games. She never missed one game before I transferred to La Masia and would insist on taking me out to ice cream after every one. She would tease me for not scoring like she does, even though I play as a centre back.

"You need some training from Mapi, she is a centre back and has the most lethal free kick, hermanita! She is the best defender I have played with, but don't tell her I said that. I think you will grow up to be better than her."

She was excited that day, I had made a few good saves and I think that was the first time she really saw that I had the potential to be great.

I remember the first game she was late to. I noticed immediately but we both pretended she was on time - she only made it to the last 10 minutes but I put it down as traffic or being caught up at training. She was busy, it takes a lot to be La Reina.

I remember the first game she missed entirely. She wasn't there at the beginning and she wasn't there at the end. I was 13 and I didn't have a phone yet so I couldn't call Mami and ask her to come pick me up because Alexia was too busy. I told myself it was because she was too busy. I didn't want to say she had forgotten because that was too hard for me to handle.

I remember vividly sitting outside the stadium as the sun set. My coach had asked where my sister was, I was a bit stuck with what to say but I managed to convince her I was fine and she could go home.

Alba came and picked me up after work that night. It was dark and she looked sad but when I asked if she was ok, she just shrugged her shoulders and said everything would be fine.

I found out from Mami a few weeks later that Alba was sad because I had never once been forgotten anywhere. Alba saw that as the destruction of our strong family. I suppose she was not wrong.

Alexia never said anything about that game but she was at the next. She didn't take me out for ice cream after, instead patting my head and telling me she would drop me off at Mami's work.

"I have things to do, Elena, I am very busy. Hopefully soon Mami will let you catch the bus on your own. Maybe Alba can take you soon so you know the correct routes."

Her words hurt more than I could admit to myself, I told myself to stop being pathetic. Mami asked why I was crying when I walked into her office. I told her I had played terribly and she comforted me. I think she knew I was lying. I think that is why she had tears in her eyes when she released me from her grip-like hold.

Since that day, Alexia has been to 3 of my games. She went to one more of my old club games but she was sat beside Alba, her eyes glued to her phone the entire match. I was so unfocused that the ball deflected off my face and we conceded. I was taken off with a bleeding nose but when I looked up in the stands, my sister was still staring at her phone. Alba had run down the stairs and was by my side when I entered the little sick bay.

I cried then too. Most people thought it was because of the bleeding nose or the conceded goal. Alba knew that wasn't the real reason.

The penultimate game she watched was the final of the under 15s Catalonia cup. I don't know what she did during the game because Mami told me not to look up. She said she didn't want me to get distracted but I think she meant to say she didn't want me to get hurt.

I think I still idolised Alexia at that point in time. She was still my older sister and she was still the best player in the world. She still had weekly dinners at home, although she wouldn't sit next to me and sneakily take all the food I didn't want off my plate anymore. She stopped staying to watch a movie after dinner even though my favourite part of the week was falling asleep in her lap as her hands combed softly through my hair.

I remember when I was accepted into La Masia, Mami held a nice big dinner. It was right in the middle of covid so it was technically illegal, but we had a lot of my family over. Mami invited a few of the Barcelona girls as well and Mapi and Leila reminded me of what it used to be like before Alexia stopped loving me.

The reminder of the before was more painful than I liked to admit, and the night ended when the tears that had been burning in the back of my eyes finally spilled out as I was talking to Mapi.

She immediately pulled me into her arms and asked what was wrong and I struggled to find a lie that would be believable.

I settled on saying I was upset about everything changing - which I suppose was true.

I remember Alexia looking mortified and breaking eye contact as soon as I looked at her. She told me off that evening when Mami was in the shower and Alba was talking to someone else. She told me I needed to be grateful for everything I have been given and that she paved the way for me.

It was even worse when she said I would never achieve the things she has. She said it was because I didn't have the mentality that she did, that I had it all so easy.

It hurt the most when she told me she was disappointed in the person I was.

"I hope we never share a shirt, Elena, because the day you play in the first Barcelona team is the day that we have run out of players. It will mean that football players are week and female footballers can not be weak. You do not have it in you to be like me, to do what I have done to get to where I am."

The venom in her voice sent a cold shiver down my spine and I felt like I had been stabbed. I didn't cry that time. I waited until I was in my bedroom to sob my heart out.

The last time she ever watched me play was the next day, but she didn't have an option not to. I played terribly, my first game as a La Masia student, my sisters words repeating over and over in my head.

That was really what tipped the relationship I once shared with Alexia on its head. The pedestal I had put her on was destroyed and suddenly she was just another player. I barely saw her as my sister any more. She couldn't love me, you wouldn't be able to hurt someone you love so much.

I have barely seen her since. She still comes to our family dinners on Thursday nights - she still very much loves Alba and our Mami. But I tell Mami that I have training with Barcelona B late on Thursdays. It finishes at 6 and dinner starts at 7, but I just organise to go to my friends' houses for dinner instead.

Sometimes we both have dinner together at home, but it is awkward and I hate it. I think she has probably forgotten about what she said to me in June of 2021, but I don't think I will ever be able to.

She doesn't like me, but it's ok because I have learnt to accept that. But I will never not love my sister because she was once everything to me.

~~~~~~

"Pequena Putellas!" Patri's excited shriek is what welcomes me into the dressing room on my first day. She tackles me into a hug and squeezes me tight. "It has been such a long time, mi favorita!"

The last time I saw Patri was only last year at the champions league final. I had sat with my whole family but I went to the bathroom when everyone else went and spoke to the players. I don't think Patri would have seen me.

I can only smile as she continues.

"I remember you as the little 8 year old who would sit and watch our training sessions after school! I was so confused by you when I first arrived here, you know. I remember the first time Ale let you play a game with us and you were so good!"

"Nobody doubted that you would be on this team one day!" A new voice entered the conversation.

"Marta!" I hugged the brunette closely. She was always one of my favourites.

"I am proud of you, pequena putellas."

Her words are familiar as I have heard them out of my mothers voice time and time again my whole life. But they seem foreign coming from Marta and it is an unwanted reminder of my sister. I don't know why - maybe it is because I have always associated this Barcelona team with her. I don't remember the last time she said she was proud of me.

I don't remember the last time she said anything to me, really.

"Gracias, Marta, I have missed you." I bury my head into her neck and she holds me closer.

"You have not been around as much since you transferred to La Masia. I wanted to come and watch but Ale never extended an invitation and I didn't want to overstep." I shake my heads at her words and she frowns.

"Alexia doesn't have time for my games, she hasn't for a while. It takes a lot to be La Reina."

Marta's frown deepens at my words and the attention of a few spanish players is captured. I should have spoken quieter, I forgot how many people in here speak catalan.

"It is ok, she is very supportive, but she just can't come to my games. She makes it up in other ways." I am lying through my teeth but Marta will never know.

"I am sure, she must be very proud of you, being selected in this team for the first time, it is a big deal, you are very young."

All I can do is nod, my energy is all being put into holding back my own tears. I don't know if Mami told her. I don't know if Alexia even knows that I was selected.

"Get changed now, I am sure Jona will want to talk to you before the session, especially with the game tomorrow."

I nod again as Marta pats me on the back and walk over to the cubby that says my name. It feels a bit surreal, really.

I never really thought I would see my name on a Barcelona cubby, accompanied by my new number that I chose in the meeting a few days ago. It was always a dream, but I never thought it was achievable. Alexia always seemed like a superstar, a superhuman of sorts and I would never reach that kind of level.

But here I am in the team that I always wanted to be in - in no way am I anywhere near my sisters level but I am on my way to being like her. I just wish she cared. I wish she was proud of me like Marta is.

Her cubby sits across from me and I try to tear my eyes from it but it sits and stares right back at me. I feel like an intruder in Alexia's space, this is not for me, she would not want me to be here.

I tie my laces quickly after that and head out onto the pitches to begin training.

I have trained with the first team twice before, but the Barcelona Bs were always slightly seperate and we could keep our distance from the first players. Jonatan is a familiar face and I feel comfortable as he smiles and me and motions for me to follow the others to the gym.

It is weird, being promoted within my own club. I am not so much a new signing, but a replacement - I am not good enough to be in the first team but they had no other options when Mapi injured herself.

I used to worry that people would say I only get opportunities because my last name is Putellas. When my sister told me I was weak all those years ago, that idea sort of cemented in my head, I suppose.

I never told my Mami what her daughter said to me because it would upset her. I told Alba half of it when she found me crying in my room a few days later but made her promise to not tell anyone. She couldn't say anything to Mami, Alexia, anyone at all because it would only make Alexia think I was weaker.

She was furious and tried to tell me it was untrue but it had already been said. I believed Alexia's word more than anyone else. To me, she was a superhuman.

But when I spoke to Jonatan a few days ago he made me feel like I was wanted within this squad. He made it clear that he wants me to integrate completely into the squad in the next few years and that he can see me playing soon even though I am only 15.

I told him I didn't want anything special because of my surname.

He told me that he chose me because of my first name.

"Elena Putellas," he said with a grin, "you may be as good as her, but you are not your sister. This is a professional environment. As long as you perform, which I know you will, nobody will care what your name is."

It was a big boost to my confidence.

Aitana Bonmati caught up to me quickly as I walked to the gym.

"You are big now." I chuckled but did not look over, I didn't need to really. "But not that big. You are only 15, si?"

"Yes, I am 15."

I met Aitana when she first joined the club. She always used to say that she would steal me and take me home with her because she thought I was adorable. It is strange that I am now sort of in the same team as her.

She started playing for the first team when I was 8. I was older then, I played my own football and liked staying with Alexia so I could kick a ball around with her teammates when they were done.

Aitana was one of the few who would stay every time I was there. When Alexia didn't want to wait she would drive me home herself, all the way to the other side of Barcelona. We would always stop for ice cream on the way home.

"I have not seen you in too long, Lena. I have missed you a lot but you have been doing very well in the B team. I am very proud and I take credit for your abilities." She spoke in such a dead pan voice but it was somehow still filled with emotion.

"I have missed you too, ABC." It was a nickname I gave her the first time she drove me home. I had been learning about the alphabet in English class and had the little song stuck in my head when she told me her full name. I used to sing her initials in the tune of the song but it quickly merged to me just saying the three letters.

"I have been to a few of your games, you know?"

I look at her in confusion, I have never seen her there. She just nods.

"Alexia never invited any of us but she was never at the ones I went to so I would sit in the stands with a hat and glasses so people wouldn't recognise me, but I was there. I went to your La Masia games as well. You have become a phenomenal player, Lena."

She has always spoken with such sincerity. I have missed her a lot.

"Maybe you can drop me off at home again tonight? I have missed you."

She chuckles and pulls me into a side hug.

"I was waiting for you to ask, little Lena. Oh you are not so little any more!"

I chuckle as well and let my head fall onto her shoulder as we enter the gym. My eyes scan the room, looking at all of the players on their equipment, nerves quickly settling inside me.

"Don't worry, it's all easy." Aitana seems to read my mind. "Just come with me and I will show you how to do everything. It will become second nature in the next few days."

The gym session went quickly as I was taught all the different exercises. I was familiar with most of them, having done a very similar program in the past with the B team.

We went out onto the field to do some drills and I played well. Jonatan was impressed and so were the first players. My teammates? Maybe, not quite, I don't think. I still haven't been in a team list, so I suppose I'll be their teammate when that eventually happens.

It wasn't until we reached the ice cream shop that Aitana started asking me all the awkward questions. I should have seen it coming.

"Why do you never come to our games anymore, Lena?" I was very grateful for the scoops of gelato in my hands. Eating it delayed my response as I tried to come up with something to say. I shrug as I eat.

I can not say it is because I do not get along with Alexia. It is too hard for me to say now, even after all these years.

"I'm not sure. I suppose I got busy with my own training and school. I have been to a few but I usually go home with Alba pretty quickly after they finish." It is only half a lie but she just shrugs, apparently not believing my words.

"And why is it that I am driving you home from your first ever first team training? I thought Alexia would have wanted to." I anticipated a question like this but that does not mean I wanted her to actually ask it.

"Alexia is busy." I hope that Aitana understands I don't want to talk about it. I haven't spoken about my broken relationship with my sister to anyone. I think she can sense something is wrong though, because she puts her spoon back into her ice cream and grabs my arm so I am staring right at her.

"If you ever want to talk, I am right here, Lena. I know you don't like people knowing what is going on inside that crazy head of yours but it is good to release your feelings."

She definitely knows something is wrong so I appreciate her not pushing.

"I have outlets, I play football, I play the piano, I am ok, aitana, I really am."

She eyed me as if to say she didn't believe me but dropped the topic anyway.

"When did you get so good?"

#woso fanfics #woso #woso imagine #alexia putellas #putellas!reader #alexia putellas x reader #barca femeni #fcb femeni #alexia putellas imagine

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katelynnwrites · 1 day

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I'm Losing It (All I Get's Jealousy) | Laura Freigang

warnings: ~

word count: 1377

summary: your girlfriend, laura gets jealous at national camp

a/n: jealousy is not something i've written before because jealousy isn't an emotion i have much experience with but i got two requests (one, two) so this is my attempt to do so

‘Hey.’ You laugh as a certain blonde pulls you into her lap, when you walk past her in the locker room.

‘I missed you.’ She complains, nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck and tightening her arms around you.

‘I’m right here schatz.’ You murmur, leaning back into her.

Laura presses a kiss onto your forehead, content for you to stay where you are.

Even when more of your teammates trail into the locker room.

‘You’re a cosy pair.’ Sara immediately teases.

‘Also I hate to interrupt but it’s our turn for media.’ Jule adds, with a mischievous grin.

You giggle and turn around to kiss your girlfriend on her cheek, ‘See you in a bit.’

Laura pouts, ‘Do you really have to go?’

‘Yes.’ You hum and kiss her again to appease her.

The blonde accepts it and relents, letting you follow Jule out of the room.

The younger player pokes fun at you as soon as the two of you are out of the striker’s earshot.

‘You’re so in love with her. Like you should have seen your heart eyes.’

You blush and shrug, knowing better than to try and counter any sort of comment about the depth of your feelings for your girlfriend.

‘Really! When's the wedding?’

Her words get a laugh out of you, ‘I don’t know Jule but I will be sure to invite you when I do know.’

That's how it is with the Wolfsburg player. She is easy to get along with and makes you smile a lot.

With the media team facilitating, the activity goes by quickly and with Jule participating along with you, is a great deal of fun.

In fact, you laugh so much that you’re still smiling when you get back to the locker room.

Lea is there, having finished her own media day activity.

Your Bayern teammate sidetracks you as you try to make your way to Laura, with a simple request of helping her touch up her make up for photos in the new home kit.

You’re happy to oblige, biting your lip in concentration as you apply a fresh coat of mascara to her eyelashes.

When you are finished and turn back to where Laura was sitting, she’s gone.

Sydney tells you that she’d left for her own media day activity when you ask.

With a sigh, you go and look for a snack to tide you over till your girlfriend is free.

It seems like Obi has the same idea because you find her already digging into a bag of corn chips.

She offers to share it with you but only if you listen to the list of pick up lines she’s been working on, with every intention of annoying her own girlfriend with them once she’s back home.

Sitting beside her, you dip your hand into the bag as you listen.

‘Are you lightning? Cause you’re McQueen.’

You snort, ‘Awful.’

Lena chuckles before reading out another, ‘Are you a charger? Because I'm dying without you.’

This one doesn’t even merit any response other than you rolling your eyes.

‘What’s it like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?’

You giggle, ‘I don't know. I'd have to ask Laura.’

The midfielder groans, ‘Stop it. You have it much too bad for her.’

Eating another corn chip, you nod acceptingly and Obi shakes her head in disbelief.

‘They say nothing lasts forever. Want to be my nothing?’

‘Eh. It’s not completely dreadful.’ You feedback.

‘Are your shoelaces tied? Because I don’t want you falling for anyone else.’

‘Cheesy but better.’

Lena grins and encouraged by your words, tells you another, ‘Let’s play a game…not hide and seek though, people like you are hard to find.’

‘No. No. No. Obi, that is terrible.’

‘Well the whole point is to annoy my girlfriend, not sweep her off her feet. I've already done that.’ She points out proudly.

You grimace and the brunette offers you more corn chips.

‘Last one okay? I swear.’

Her excitement should have clued you in to how cringey the next one would be but you don’t realise it till after she deadpans, ‘I had a good pickup line ready to go, but you're so good looking I'm literally speechless.’

You burst out laughing and Lena does too. Actual tears are gathering in the corner of your eyes from how hard you are losing it.

It is at that moment that Laura appears beside you, irritation clearly written across her face.

‘Lau.’ You greet and are taken by surprise when she leans in.

Faster than you can react, she pulls you into a heated kiss. One that she dominates, leaving you entirely breathless when she draws back.

The blonde ignores the wide eyed look on the Wolfsburg player’s face, shortly stating, ‘Oberdorf, the only person allowed to use pick up lines on my girlfriend is me.’

Then she pulls you away from Obi, not loosening the grip she has on your hand until you are in the hotel room you both are sharing.

She stares at you then, with an expression you’ve never seen on her face before. It unnerves you if you are completely honest because she has never been unreadable to you. Not like she is now.

‘What's wrong schatz?’ You softly ask.

‘I don't like Lena trying her pick up lines on you.’

‘She didn’t mean anything by them, you know that she has a girlfriend. I agreed to listen to them in exchange for her sharing her snack with me.’ You explain.

Laura huffs, ‘I still don’t like it.’

‘Lau? Everyone here knows that I'm yours. That you are the one I am in love with.’

Your girlfriend mellows a little at your words.

Ever so gently, you tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and whisper, ‘I love you Laura. You know that.’

She sighs, shoulders slumping down, ‘I know you do. I love you too, which is why this is so hard.’

You frown in confusion and the Eintracht Frankfurt player fidgets with the rings on her fingers, almost as if she is embarrassed as she admits, ‘I just miss you so incredibly much. The past month has been more difficult than usual because the last time I was able to physically see you was at our last camp and that was cut short because I got injured. Now at this camp, I have barely been able to spend time with you.’

‘Oh.’ You breathe as you realise that there is a reason behind your favourite blonde’s sudden clinginess.

She hadn’t been exaggerating when she mentioned how much she missed you, earlier in the day and you mentally kick yourself for not seeing it sooner.

‘You've spent more time with Jule and Obi than me and that’s alright because I know you don’t see them all that often but I miss you. I really really miss you.’

Laura is on the verge of crying now, her bottom lip wobbling as she stands in front of you.

‘I'm sorry. I know the distance is hard but I'm here now okay?’

Slipping your arms around her waist, you draw your girlfriend close to you. The forward melts into your embrace immediately, her chin resting in your shoulder.

‘I shouldn't have gotten jealous. I'm sorry.’ She mumbles.

You hug her tighter.

‘Don’t apologise schatz.’

From the moment you and the blonde had started dating, the two of you have been aware of the challenges a long distance relationship would bring. What you hadn’t been aware of, prior to your conversation, was how much your girlfriend has been struggling with them.

After turning your head so that you can press an affectionate kiss against her neck, you say, ‘Summer break is coming soon and then it’ll be just you and me okay? We’ve got that trip to Mallorca planned and I am looking forward to spending every minute of it with you.’

‘That sounds like heaven.’ Laura whispers.

You hum in agreement and check your watch before adding, ‘Till then we have enough time to take a nap before our tactics meeting? I don’t know about you but all the media stuff has tired me out…’

Your girlfriend doesn’t need to be asked twice.

German Translation:

schatz - sweetheart

#laura freigang #laura freigang x reader #laura freigang imagine #woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #eintracht frankfurt frauen #dfb frauen #gerwnt #katelynnwrites

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hookhausenschips · 3 days

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Tangled In My Soul {JB22}

500 Follower Special!!!

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Summary: Y/N struggled with feelings of loneliness and public scrutiny while waiting for Jenson, but during their drive home, he reassured her of his love and commitment. They spent the evening reconnecting emotionally and physically, finding solace and happiness in each other's presence.

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Y/N was sitting in the car park outside of the Sky Studios where Jenson had been working all week when he got out of the building and walked towards the car. He had been gone since Monday morning and they hadn't really spoken much over the weekend, it had been hectic with him traveling up north to see his family and then having to go back down south for work again.

She could feel herself getting more and more angry every day that went past, especially since she knew he would be talking about her on the television. She didn't like hearing other people talk about her behind closed doors let alone millions of people watching her live. She knew it was something he couldn't avoid but it still hurt.

She tried not to take it personally but sometimes it was hard, she wasn't used to this kind of attention. She wasn't even sure if she wanted this kind of attention.

Jenson sat next to her and kissed her cheek before opening the door for her. They both climbed into the car and buckled up before starting their drive home. It was always so quiet during these drives.

“How did it go today?” Y/N asked breaking the silence between them.

“Fine, just another day at the office.” Jenson replied looking over at her. “How have you been?”

“I've been fine thanks. I’ve missed you.” Y/N said giving him a smile and leaning over to kiss his lips softly. He smiled back and placed his hand on top of hers.

They carried on driving in silence for a few minutes until Jenson spoke again. “I know it’s been hard this week and I’m sorry for leaving you alone for so long, we don’t get many chances to spend time together anymore.” He looked over at her again. “And I know it’s difficult to hear everyone talking about you all the time, it must be hard.”

“It’s okay Jens, you can't help it. It’s your job after all. But I do miss spending time with you.” Y/N gave him a little smile.

“I know you do. We should go somewhere nice soon, get away from everything and relax. Maybe we could even try and make some memories.” Jenson smiled back at her and turned his head to look ahead onto the road.

Y/N nodded but didn’t say anything else, she could feel her eyes starting to fill with tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of Jenson but she also felt like she needed to let it out, she was just so upset.

“Hey what’s wrong? Are you ok?” Jenson reached across the seat and placed his hand on her thigh, rubbing it gently.

Y/N sniffed trying to fight back the tears. “I-it’s nothing I’m just a bit sad that’s all.” Her voice cracked as she spoke.

“Don’t cry please, it’ll only make things worse. You can tell me what’s going on, I won’t judge you.” Jenson squeezed her thigh slightly, trying to reassure her.

Y/N wiped the tears away from her face and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I’m just tired of people making fun of me all the time, saying things about us because of our age difference and that I'm only here because of who you are. It hurts me, it hurts me so much. I love you and I know you love me too but I just wish people would stop hurting me like this.”

Jenson pulled over to the side of the road and put his hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him. “Listen to me Y/N, I need you to listen to me very carefully.”

“Yes, yes.” Y/N sniffed again and wiped the last remaining tears away.

“I love you more than anything else in this world, you mean everything to me. I would do anything for you. And I know what it feels like to have people say bad things about you all the time, I know how it makes you feel. So trust me when I say that those people don't matter, they are nothing compared to what we have.” Jenson stroked her hair and ran his thumb along the back of her neck. “I know it’s hard but you can't let them get to you, you have to ignore them or else they will win.”

Y/N nodded slowly, taking in everything he said. “But I just want people to like me, I want them to accept me and understand why we are together.”

“That’s not going to happen anytime soon Y/N, no matter what happens or what you do people will always find something to say about us. Even if we were perfect they would still find something.” Jenson kissed the top of her head and rested his chin on top of it. “So please stop worrying about what other people think about us, focus on what matters most; us.”

“But I'm scared of losing you Jens, I don’t want you to leave me.” Y/N buried her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

“Oh darling, you will never lose me. You are the most important thing in my life right now and I wouldn’t ever dream of leaving you, you mean too much to me for that.” Jenson rubbed her back soothingly. “I promise I will never leave you, you are stuck with me forever.” He laughed lightly and kissed her forehead.

Y/N lifted her head off his chest and smiled at him, “I love you Jens.”

“I love you too, my angel.” He smiled back at her and leaned forward to kiss her lips. Their lips moved against each other softly and lovingly as they enjoyed the moment. After a while they broke apart and Jenson started the engine again.

“We should probably get going, we don’t want to be late for dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.” Y/N grinned and snuggled up close to him as he started driving again.

They drove back home in silence but it wasn’t awkward this time. There was no tension between them, just pure happiness and contentment.

* * *

When they arrived back at their house they went straight through to the kitchen and started cooking dinner together. Jenson was making spaghetti bolognese while Y/N was making garlic bread. It was one of their favorite meals to cook together, they both loved Italian food and it was easy enough for either of them to make.

They chatted happily as they cooked, sharing stories about their days and laughing together. They both enjoyed spending time together like this, it was rare for them both to have free time at the same time so when they did they made the most of it.

After finishing their meal they cleaned up the dishes and then headed upstairs to their bedroom. They changed into their pajamas and climbed into bed together under the covers. They lay facing each other on opposite sides of the mattress and held hands tightly as they watched TV.

Jenson turns and looks at Y/N, his eyes memorizing every detail about the woman who has held him captivated in every waking moment since they met. Y/N looks up and blushes at the attention. "What are you staring at?" she whispered.

Jenson smiles and reaches over to run his fingers through her hair. "My beautiful girl," he murmurs. "I am simply admiring my favorite view."

Y/N blushes deeper and leans into his touch. "Are you going to stare at me all night?" she teases.

Jenson laughs and shakes his head. "No, my dear," he replies. "There is something else I intend to do instead."

Y/N arches an eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah? What might that be?"

Jenson grins mischievously and sits up. He moves over to sit beside her and begins to undress her. "Well," he says, "I want to show you exactly how much you mean to me."

Y/N watches as he removes her clothes, leaving her in nothing but her panties and bra. He runs his hands over her body, caressing her skin and causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. She shivers with pleasure. "You're so beautiful," he whispers.

Y/N smiles and leans into his touch. "Thank you," she breathes. "You're not so bad yourself."

Jenson laughs and pulls her close, pressing his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with hers, exploring every inch of her mouth. Y/N moans into his mouth, her body responding to his touch.

Jenson breaks the kiss and looks down at her, smiling. "You're absolutely stunning," he murmurs. "And I'm going to treat you like the queen that you are."

Y/N blushes and looks down, feeling shy. "Thank you," she whispers.

Jenson kisses her forehead before he began his descent below, kneeling between Y/N's spread legs. He leans down and presses his lips against her clit, flicking it with his tongue. Y/N gasps and arches her back, pushing her hips up against his mouth.

Jenson chuckles and continues licking her, using his hands to massage her breasts. Y/N moans louder, her breathing becoming ragged. "Oh god," she pants. "Jensen... fuck!"

Jenson starts sucking harder on her clit and massaging her breasts more forcefully. Y/N cries out and wraps her legs around his head, holding him against her. "I'm gonna cum," she gasps. "Oh god, I'm gonna cum!"

Jensen continues pleasuring her, his tongue working furiously as he brings her to orgasm. Y/N screams as she cums, her juices flowing freely onto his tongue.

He climbs back onto the bed and straddles Y/N, pressing his cock against her entrance. "Ready?" he asks.

Y/N nods and spreads her legs wider, inviting him inside her. Jenson pushes himself into her wet heat, groaning as he fills her completely. "Darling I don't think I'll ever get over this feeling."

Y/N gasps and wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. "Mmm," she moans. "That feels so good."

Jenson smiles, "Yeah?' as he slowly drags his cock in and out of her tight pussy. "You're so fucking beautiful," he grunts. "You feel amazing."

He wanted to take her apart slowly.

He wanted her to be able to remember this night forever.

He wanted to make sure that she remembered that she was his. That she belonged to him, and only him.

Tonight was about making love. Not fucking.

Jenson pushed himself in and out of Y/N's wetness, moving faster as she began to moan and writhe beneath him. He leaned down and captured her lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dancing with hers as he continued thrusting into her.

"Fuck," she gasped. "You feel so good."

Jenson smiled against her lips, "Good?" He asked, before kissing her again. "I thought you were going to say something better than that."

"You're being ridiculous." Y/N pouted.

"Am I?" Jenson raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to prove it?" He asked, smirking.

"Prove it? Prove what?" Y/N frowned.

Jensen laughed, "That you're not the only one who can give you orgasms." He leaned down and sucked on her nipple, his hands gripping her hips as he continued pumping into her.

Y/N cried out, her head falling back against the pillow. "Oh god, Jens..."

"Shh," Jenson soothed, kissing her throat as he thrust harder. "Just enjoy it baby."

Y/N moaned and threw her head back, arching her back as she welcomed him inside her. "Harder!" She cried. "Please!"

Jenson complied, pounding into her with renewed vigor. He could feel her walls clenching around his cock, squeezing him tightly. "That's it, baby..." He growled. "Take it all!"

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. Y/N moaned into his mouth as he began thrusting into her harder and faster. He gripped her hips tightly and pounded into her relentlessly, his balls slapping against her ass.

Y/N cried out as the pressure built inside her, her walls contracting around his shaft. She came hard, screaming his name as her juices flowed out onto his cock. Jenson groaned and continued thrusting into her, drawing out her orgasm. Jenson slowed his pace, allowing her to recover before finally pulling out of her.

Finally, he released her hips and collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily. Y/N lay beside him, trembling and covered in sweat. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly as they recovered from their intense session.

"Wow," Y/N said, finally able to speak again. "That was incredible."

Jensen chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said, "but we're not done yet." He rolled over and pinned her to the bed, looking down at her hungrily.

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked, surprised.

Jensen grinned, "I mean that I'm not finished with you yet. I plan on showing you all night just how much I love you." He lowered his head and kissed her collarbone, then trailed his tongue down her stomach. He paused to nip at her navel before continuing further down.

Y/N gasped as his mouth found its way to her core. His tongue flicked over her clit, sending delicious waves of pleasure through her body. She arched her back, pushing herself against his mouth.

Jensen chuckled against her skin and continued eating her out, alternating between licking and sucking her clit. He slid a finger inside her, pumping it in and out slowly as he worked on bringing her to climax.

Y/N moaned and writhed beneath him, her hands gripping the sheets tightly. "Oh god..." She whimpered. "Don't stop... please don't stop!"

Jensen chuckled again, "As if I would ever stop," he murmured against her skin. He added another finger, scissoring them inside her as he licked her clit faster and harder.

Y/N screamed as she came, her walls contracting tightly around his fingers. Jenson groaned and continued pleasuring her, drawing out her orgasm as he brought her to climax once again.

Finally, he removed his fingers and crawled up her body, positioning himself above her. "Now," he said, "let's finish what we started earlier." He leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. Jenson smiled against her lips and began thrusting into her again.

"My darling, you will never be unloved by me. You are too well tangled with my soul." Jenson said as he slowly thrusted in and out of Y/N, looking down at her with adoration. "You are my sunflower."

Y/N smiled at him, "And you are mine," she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

Jensen smiled against her lips, "Of course I am," he murmured, "I'll always be yours."

They kissed passionately for several minutes before breaking apart to catch their breath. Y/N smiled up at him, "I love you so much, Jens."

Jenson smiled back at her, "And I love you more than anything, my darling." He leaned down and kissed her again, slower this time.

Y/N sighed contentedly, "That was amazing." She murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder.

Jenson chuckled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said, "but we're not done yet." He leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. Jenson smiled against her lips and began thrusting into her again, picking up where they left off.

They fucked for hours, pausing only to catch their breath before resuming their passionate lovemaking. Finally, they collapsed onto the bed, exhausted but satisfied. Jenson wrapped his arms around Y/N and held her close, kissing her forehead tenderly.

"I love you," he whispered. "More than anything in the world."

Y/N smiled up at him, "And I love you too," she murmured, "more than words can express."

Jenson smiled back at her, "Goodnight, my darling." He whispered. "Sleep tight."

Y/N yawned sleepily and snuggled up against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. "Goodnight," she murmured. "Sweet dreams."

Jenson chuckled and kissed her forehead, "Sweet dreams indeed," he whispered. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of their perfect future together.

* * *

Bonus; Y/N woke up the next morning to the sound of birds chirping outside her window. She stretched languidly, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight streaming in through the windows.

She glanced over at Jenson, who was still asleep beside her. She smiled and leaned over to kiss him gently on the cheek.

Jenson stirred and opened his eyes, smiling at her. "Good morning," he said sleepily.

Y/N snuggled closer to him, savoring the peaceful moment. "Good morning," she whispered back. "Did you sleep well?"

Jenson nodded, wrapping his arm around her. "Yeah, I did. How about you?"

"Perfectly," she replied, resting her head on his chest. "I love waking up next to you."

He kissed the top of her head. "Me too."

The two of them lay there for a few more minutes, enjoying the tranquility before the day fully began. Eventually, Y/N sighed and sat up, looking down at Jenson with a playful grin. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Jenson chuckled. "Surprise me."

Y/N got out of bed and padded to the kitchen, her mind buzzing with possibilities. She decided to make pancakes, knowing they were one of Jenson's favorites. As she whisked the batter, she hummed softly, feeling a sense of contentment she hadn't felt in a long time.

Jenson joined her a little while later, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "Smells amazing," he murmured into her ear.

She turned her head to kiss him on the cheek. "Almost ready. Can you set the table?"

"Of course," he replied, grabbing the plates and cutlery.

They worked together seamlessly, the kitchen filled with the sounds of laughter and the clinking of dishes. As they sat down to eat, Y/N felt a surge of happiness, grateful for the simple yet perfect moments like these.

After breakfast, they decided to take a walk in the park. The fresh air and the vibrant colors of spring invigorated them. They held hands, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying each other's company.

When they returned home, Jenson pulled Y/N close and looked into her eyes. "I don't know what the future holds," he said softly, "but as long as we're together, I know it'll be amazing."

Y/N's heart swelled with love. "I feel the same way," she said, kissing him deeply. "Here's to many more mornings like this."

==================================

JB22 Taglist: @tallrock35, @yourbane, @lightdragonrayne, @evie-119, @asparklysoul, @miarabanana

F1 Taglist: @hiireadstuff, @really-fucking-tired, @donteventry-itdude, @spookystitchery

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tellmeallaboutit · 2 days

Text

knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)

Chapter 5, In Which You Turn Out To be Capable of More Than You Thought

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 (Part 2)

AO3

You had the sweetest dreams.

You lived in a beautiful mansion in a world where capitalism had fallen (which did not prevent you from living in a mansion), you no longer had to work (well, because capitalism had obviously fallen) and, most importantly, you became Raphael's one and only dark consort (you were not sure how capitalism fit into this narrative), whom he cherished and loved more than anyone, even more than the Crown above his horns.

Perched atop Raphael’s lap in the throne room, surrounded by a crowd of souls kneeling before you and begging for your mercy (including your high school bully Thomas, who once locked you up in the bathroom, and the ex who cheated on you), you suddenly heard the distinct ringtone of a Teams call. It's a sound that could never be mistaken for anything else; it could be used as a method of torture.

You made a mental note to suggest this to Raphael later on.

The call seemed downright disrespectful to your new status as the Archduchess of all Hells, so you ignored it; surprisingly, it did not stop. Thinking about how you would ask Raphael to execute whoever disturbed your bliss, you stretched out your hand to swipe the huge green button that was being projected right across the throne hall.

"Anya?" The voice on the other end was familiar, but you couldn't place it.

Your mind struggled to come to life and make sense of your surroundings.

Why were you lying naked?

What time was it?

Why did your whole body ache?

And why was there a wet patch beneath you?

To answer at least the last question, you reached down to touch the moisture between your legs, and saw thick white liquid coating your fingers in the soft morning light. You went for a sniff: smelt like a freshly burned match and salty musk.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, so Raphael wasn't big on safe sex (which probably should have been expected from someone who lived in the House of Hope). Not that you remembered asking him for protection. Not that you were able to or wanted to. The thought of him coming inside you seemed insanely hot yesterday; but now, in the clear light of day, it just seemed insane.

Don’t human women all die horribly giving birth to half-devils?

The voice on the phone called out again, "Anya, are you still there? Are you okay?"

“Yes?”, you responded hesitantly and pulled your fingers away from your nostrils.

"You're fifteen meetings late for our meeting," the voice reminded you, and you finally remembered who it belonged to.

Your supervisor. Not a bad guy, not a good guy, just a burnt out middle-aged man who never imagined himself stuck in middle management while going through a messy divorce.

"We had a meeting?" You asked, even though somewhere deep down in your foggy brain you knew very well that you did have one scheduled.

You sat down on the bed and did you best to suppress a moan: your arse was bruised raw.

“Your development talk, Anya”, your supervisor sighed. “Did you… did you just wake up? It’s fifteen past ten.”

Quick, think of a believable excuse. Your cat died? No, he knows you don't have one. Your grandmother passed? No, that would be disrespectful to her memory. You were robbed? No, then you wouldn't be sleeping so soundly...

"No, I...I didn't," you stammered, desperately trying to come up with something, anything.

"Do you want to turn your camera on?" He asked. "It helps during these talks."

No, you didn't want to turn on your camera unless you wanted to make absolutely sure he saw you stark naked - which was definitely not going to work in your favour (or maybe it would, but you didn't want to test it). You shifted on the bed (your bed made a very obvious, very loud creaking noise) and your supervisor cleared his throat.

“I am not feeling too well, sorry”, you said. “I’d rather not”.

That wasn't entirely false - between the sore arse and what felt like bite marks on various parts of your body and what the hell was that purple bruise on your thigh?

There was silence before he spoke again, "Well then...I guess we're halfway done here. Did you hear about the news?"

“The news?”, you echoed.

"You haven't checked our company website?"

Does anyone actually bother to check those?

"Mmm-hmm," You responded noncommittally.

"Okay," your supervisor sighed. "We've been acquired, and as a result, there will be some changes and layoffs."

"Oh," was all you could manage to say.

"I'm currently making a list of potential layoffs."

"Oh," you repeated, starting to understand where this conversation was going.

"Anya," he began, his tone more serious now. "I don't want to sound harsh, I have enjoyed working with you. As a friendly suggestion: it might look better on your resume if it appeared that leaving was your own decision."

Hell no, you won’t let the corpo screw you over.

“Hey, no, I want a severance package. I’ve been working for this company for three years”.

"Sure," he responded. "You are fully entitled to it. But first, we'll have to review your work activity. You know, what you did on your work computer, which websites you visited, how often you were active."

Maybe you’ll let the corpo screw you over.

“Never mind,” you surrendered. “I’ll come by today to pick up my stuff.”

“I am glad we could find a mutually beneficial decision”, your supervisor said, wished you a nice day, dropped off the call, and left you naked and pissed off.

As you got up, you felt something dripping down your legs. Wonderful, washing Raphael’s cum off the carpet sounded like the perfect start to your morning. You used your blanket to clean yourself (it would be easier to wash later) and dragged yourself to the bathroom.

On your way there, you caught sight of yourself in the mirror and couldn't help but let out an exasperated laugh. The make-up from yesterday was still smeared on your face in dark trails, making you look like a freshly fired and thoroughly fucked racoon.

Sighing, you stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash away Raphael's seed, sweat and the remnants of yesterday's make-up. Oh, you thought as you washed it all away: maybe you should have brought some of Raphael's DNA to study in the lab. Then you would have a solid proof. They also might have found a way to breed powerful cambion super-soldiers.

Anya, why do you always have to think such bullshit? Raphael is from Dungeons & Dragons, not Warhammer.

Your bruises ached even worse under the hot water.

“You know, Raphael”, you spoke to yourself as you wrapped yourself in a towel. “I start to think there might be some issues with our relationship”.

Your phone chimed with a message.

"good morning my lovely girl," it read, instantly piquing your interest.

Oh, wow. Okay, you guys might have some issues, but he is certainly kind of sweet. You were about to pick up your phone to type something as sweet back (good morning my favorite devil?), when another notification popped up.

“Did you know your Raul is one of the richest people in the country??”

Ah, damn. Your mum seemed to be in an excellent mood - why was that?

Probably because “Raul” made it to some mightiest and greatest list.

“I hope the date went well please call love mama god bless 🙏🥰”

As soon as you got yourself dried up, you were scanning the corporate website (last time you checked it when you prepared for an interview); the acquisition news was on the front page. You hastily scanned through the article.

“…was yesterday acquired by Avernus Capital AG, Zürich. The legal aspects of the transaction were handled by the Managing Partner Raul d'Avergni…”

By whom?

Oh, for fuck’s sake, Raphael! So you can remember to get me fired but a condom slips your mind? Does he even know what those are? Has he ever needed to use one?

Ah, now you understand why he hadn’t called for the whole three days. He was working hard on fucking up your life. Screw reigning over the nine hells as the Archdevil Supreme when there's a girl who spent six months after graduation hunting this job (damn this economy) to torment.

Yes, you hated your job, but it paid the bills. Your emergency fund would cover one month expenses, tops. Raphael gave you a thousand over Twitch, that was nice, but that won’t last long either. If you buy plan B and visit a gyno, that’s one hundred less, easy. You can’t ask your mother for any help, either - she could barely make ends meet as it is.

Fine. Breathe in, breathe out. Perhaps he got you fired to offer you a better job; wasn't that what he mentioned yesterday? That’s right. Your work for me is not yet done, he said. That’s it; he has another job and needs all of your free time.

You grabbed your phone to call him to confirm; and then you realized you still did not have his number, all the times he called you (which was exactly one) it was from a no caller ID.

So much for that plan. Fine, the other way, then. You fired up BG3, the save from his Sharess Caress room.

The sight of his avatar and the inviting huge bed behind him stirred a pang of longing in you. "Hey, I miss you," you murmured to the screen, "Could you call me, please?"

“Give me the Crown that dominates the elder brain”, Raphael answered, not a line off the scripted talk.

“I already did that and now you are here. What’s the next task?”.

“A crown for a hammer, a deal of a lifetime”, Raphael ignored you and carried on with his talk with Tav.

The devil didn't toss you any curveballs, no ad-libbed lines or cheeky glances that shattered the fourth wall; just the same old scripted scenarios you'd already seen and played through. You jumped between saves, but nada. Your mum called you three or four times in the meanwhile. You shot her a short message that everything was okay (everything wasn’t), and you’ll call her later.

Next, you scrolled through the missed discord notifications, filled with images and screen caps of Raphael and other Tavs, hundreds of other Tavs, elves, tieflings, humans, a wide gallery of his bloody harem (especially the modded Durges got under your skin) from the new romance scene Larian dropped. You were very tempted to tell them all about your night with Raphael and how it was the best sex you've ever had and on an unrelated note, do all women really die if they give birth to cambions?

But then again, you’ve been called crazy enough lately. Better to delete the whole app.

Who has time to chat in discord? Definitely not people with full-time jobs.

…Right.

In the afternoon, you decide to go to your office in the center of the city to pick up the few things they still had and hand in the things you still had . Company badge, laptop, chargers; three years' work fit into a cardboard box. Your last pay cheque will arrive on Friday, they said.

Thank you for your hard work and dedication, and for making us a euro while we give you a cent and go get lost. Interviewing for them took a whole day; leaving them took half an hour.

The office was half empty; the few who were there were preparing to celebrate the grand occasion of being taken over by Avernus Capital (wouldn’t have happened without you, by the way, and you doubted that the new owner would be that nice). You mumbled a few hellos and how do you dos, but you realised (not that you ever thought otherwise) how little you cared for these people, and how little they cared for you.

The only one you really wanted to talk to you couldn't be reached.

Wait, but Raphael's office was only two underground stations away, you thought. If you can't call, maybe you can pay him a visit and congratulate him in person on his great acquisition.

Raphael's office, a multi-storey eighteenth-century building with the golden letters D'Avergni & Partners plastered all over it, looked very unwelcoming from the outside; inside it had all the warmth of a mausoleum. Dark grey walls loomed around you, somewhere between an art gallery and a prison cell. Art Deco furniture with sharp angles filled the space as floor-to-ceiling windows let in cold shards of light. You were stopped dead at the reception desk.

The receptionist's lips curved into a polite smile as you approached.

She actually seemed nice, not the snotty bombshell type usual at such kinds of places; she had a tired smile and dark bags under her make-up.

"I would like to see Raul d'Avergni," you said, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

She looked at you as if you had entered a church and asked for a personal audience with God. Doubt gnawed at your resolve, but retreating now would be even more awkward.

Some young men, sipping coffee from their plastic cups next to an espresso robot, looked at you curiously through their thick-rimmed glasses.

"Good morning!" chirped the receptionist, regaining her composure. "Do you have an appointment?"

"Ugh, no..." you replied, trying to sound confident. “I'm his (what, what, what?)… his girlfriend, actually”.

Brilliant.

She arched her eyebrows slightly, looking at your "Astarion approves" badge on your rucksack, which had seen quite a bit of action in its life (the summer festivals!), then at your "nique la police" T-shirt. Yes, you didn't give much thought to what you were wearing, but then again, you weren't planning to visit Raphael when you came here.

The receptionist did her best to remain professional, but you could sense that she was very doubtful about your statement.

"I am afraid Mr. d'Avergni is in meetings all day today," she offered with an apologetic smile. "Perhaps you could try calling him if it is a private matter?"

Yeah, great idea. Your cheeks flushed as embarrassment washed over you. Of course his girlfriend would have his number.

"You do have his private number, don't you?" she continued, her smile unwavering.

Now you felt like a complete idiot. The girl was obviously too tired to make fun of you, but the stares and whispered giggles of the posh idiots behind your back were not nice.

“Sure I do," you blurted out. "Just still couldn't reach him for some reason and it’s pretty urgent. Anyway, just let Raul know I stopped by. My name is Anya. Anya Berger."

"Of course," she replied in that 'not-a-chance' tone. "Have a nice day, Mrs Berger."

You retreated with your dignity in tatters and headed for the exit. What on earth possessed you to come here? You could have just as easily gone to the Microsoft headquarters and said you brought Bill Gates some home-made pancakes, and by the way, where was he?

Fuck.

As you made your way out, you heard the young man with framed glasses murmur to his coworker, "Such bullshit." You couldn't help but eavesdrop. "I've seen the birds Raul brings to the parties and they are top-notch. Not some..."

You stopped in your tracks. Normally, you were not the scandalous type (you were a people pleaser, if anything), but if the world wanted to treat you like a doormat, you would at least bark back.

“Not some what?”, you asked before he would finish the sentence.

"Oh, my apologies, miss. I wasn't talking to you. It was just a conversation with my colleague," he responded with a saccharine smile. All these guys sported slicked-back hairdos, boxy glasses and Patagonia vests. Your socks had more personality than these fucks.

“You were talking about me, you Patrick Bateman knock-off. So, what did you want to say?”

His faux-polite smile vanished in an instant.

"Wow, okay”, the guy sneered. “What did I want to say? In a completely unrelated conversation, I wanted to say that giving a drunk blowjob on a Tuesday night doesn't make someone anyone's girlfriend."

“You know what he will do with you if I ask him to?”, you said, your fists clenched.

You did realise how much of a cunt you sounded, but Raphael burned a guy’s mouth for calling him a two pump chump; surely he can burn this guy for being a jerk to you, too.

There should be some benefit in being Devil’s special little mouse, right?

The guy just scoffed at your threat, small drops of coffee landing on your face. His coworker looked embarrassed and quickly looked away.

"Oh, I don't know," the guy retorted, "Why don't you call Mr. d'Avergni and ask him to fire me? Oh wait… do you really have his number?"

You couldn't come up with a clever response, so your anger gave you a bad one.

“I hope a damn bus runs you over”, you grumbled under your breath.

For a split second, you found yourself hoping that very scenario would unfold. That some rogue city bus would burst through the wall and flatten him. Once wasn’t enough; it’d reverse and do it again for good measure.

Alas, no such luck.

The security at the door started to pay attention, but you didn't want to cause any more of a scene.

You chose to rise above (not that you had any choice) and strutted away.

"Mr. d’Avergni is not going to call you back, nut job," the guy called after you. "He's way out of your league."

Your fingers clenched around the straps of your rucksack, knuckles white as you retreated.

The moment you left the posh building behind, you felt terrible. In an attempt to make yourself feel a little better, you grabbed a subway sandwich with some extra ham and a sugar bomb coffee from Starbucks, but it did nothing to improve your mood. You found a spot on the steps of the library and sat down to eat and brood everything over.

Let's look at the cold, hard facts. You lost your job, that's one thing. You might be pregnant with a devil's spawn that'll tear you apart on its way out, that's two. You've only saved enough money to get by, that's three. And on top of that, some yuppie jerk ridiculed you.

That's four. On the plus side... on the plus side...

Well, you had the best sex of your life last night (by a large, large margin). Just thinking about that orgasm made you dizzy. And that kiss. His lips. His hazel eyes. The way Raphael looked in a waistcoat with a cigar. The way he looked at you.

…yeah.

You stared into the distance, catching the outline of a Catholic cathedral out of the corner of your eye. A thought occurred to you then; Raphael had been so irked by your cross. Going to an actual church will probably make Raphael jealous of the other Big Guy with the magical powers (even though he hadn’t demonstrated them for at least some centuries) that he might actually come out and talk to you.

You wolfed down the rest of the sandwich and got up.

The cathedral door, huge, twice your size, seemed to be closed. In the old days, you would have just walked away; it was clear you weren't welcome. But now, with all the rules and logic thrown out the window, you pushed against it and, lo and behold, it did open for you.

At first glance, the cathedral seemed devoid of life. There is something utterly captivating about an empty cathedral, as there is about all things that are not supposed to be empty. It was a beautiful church; no doubt about that. Obscenely rich, too, gold gilded altars and towering stained glass windows that painted kaleidoscopic patterns on cold marble floors. Marble statues of angels stood sentinel along the walls. Why do they always have these judgemental looks on their faces? Sinner, sinner, sinner.

I am; so fuck off.

Far richer than any church should be, and yet the first humble wooden box that caught your eye was "DONATIONS WELCOME".

As you navigated towards the altar (a good half-minute journey across the vast nave), you discovered you weren't alone after all; an elderly pastor dozed in his throne-like chair and a choirboy leafed through sheet music by the monstrous organ pipes.

"Lord Almighty," the pastor creaked as he looked at you. "How did you get in?"

"The door?" you said, gesturing behind you.

He blinked twice.

"I was sure I had locked it. Oh, my memory. Getting old is no fun, child, I can tell you that."

The pastor was one of the types desperately trying to pass themselves off as your friend.

"Should I go or..." you asked, not really wanting to go anywhere.

The moment you stepped through the door of the church, you felt like you were crossing worlds again; the mundane real world was behind the door, and the world where interesting things happened was right there.

"Or no... Please stay," said the priest. "If you're here, it must be God's will. We don't turn anyone away. It's not like we've had many newcomers lately."

That might have something to do with being kid fiddlers, you thought, looking at the choirboy in the white and red outfit - fourteen, fifteen at the most - but you said nothing and came closer.

"And what brings you to the house of God, my child?" The priest's smile was warm and inviting. "Would you like to make a confession?"

No, no, absolutely not.

“Or, no”, you chuckled nervously. “No, Father, I wanted…”

(to piss off the devil by coming to the church)

“I wanted…to ask you… I wanted to ask you about the devils.”

The choir boy looked up in interest.

“I wanted…to ask you… I wanted to ask you about the devils.”

The choir boy looked up in interest.

"The devils?" the pastor asked incredulously, rubbing the dust off his glasses. "There is but one; you probably mean demons. What about them?"

"Just, ugh... Say, I am haunted by one. Ah, no, you are haunted by ghosts; possessed, then. What would be the procedure?"

You didn't really know what you were asking for. You didn't really believe that there was a step-by-step guide to getting rid of a devil in your bed, especially if you invited him, especially if you liked him very much.

The priest put his hand on his belly and laughed, the old wheezing laugh of a man with a heart condition. God, it smelt like incense in here; such a suffocating smell, as if it was meant to dull any common sense.

"My child," he said, putting a fatherly hand on your shoulder. "The Church may have its doctrines, but the idea of demons is simply a metaphor. A representation of our transgressions, our weaknesses."

He laughed a little more and then told you very gently, carefully, as if you were mentally deficient:

"Demons are not real. They are metaphors, allegories".

Having heard all your life that the Devil is watching, the Devil is waiting, and now all of sudden he is not real, and you were pretty sure he had fucked you raw yesterday.

Very helpful, Father. You suddenly felt an urge to bring forth the Antichrist just to spite the entire Catholic Church.

The cathedral door groaned in protest as it swung open once more. You looked over your shoulder.

The man entering the cathedral was the last person who should be treading on consecrated ground.

"Then who the hell is that, Father?" you muttered under your breath.

"Oh, my dear friend!" replied the priest with the broadest of smiles. "What a joy to see you!”

Raphael's attire was nearly identical to the first time you saw him in the cafe: a three-piece suit with a subtle shift in color, now a deep navy. A bit of a dated look of a wheeler and dealer in smoke-filled rooms; something very much “Mad Men” about him.

"Darling, you claimed not to be religious," Raphael smiled at you as he approached and gave you a light kiss on the cheek. "But look where I find you."

"Well, you're also the last person I would expect to see in a church," you replied.

"Why is that?” The priest asked. “This man has done more for the Church than any other, my dear child!"

They embraced, the priest and the businessman, like good old friends. Well, you always knew that the Church was in cahoots with the Devil, but not so literally. You shook your head at the hypocrisy of the Church, Raphael, and the way things were done in general.

"You exaggerate, Flavio," said Raphael. "Besides, it's my pleasure and duty to contribute to my community. I assume you've already met, but let me introduce you anyway - Anya, my paramour".

Raphael gestured to you. Better tell your colleagues that, you thought, since they doubted it so much. He should also find this guy in the glasses, introduce you to him and then fire him immediately (and have him run over by a bus while he was on his way to collect his things). In fact, that was now your main requirement for staying his little mouse.

"Blessed be, I'm ecstatic for you both," the priest gushed, barely containing his excitement. "Praise the Lord that you are finally doing better, Raul. It's about time..."

Raphael gave him a very cold smile and interrupted with a slight raise of his hand.

“Dimmi, hai preparato i documenti che ti ho chiesto? Il fisco sta facendo dellle indagini”.

"Haha!” the priest laughed. “La tua ragazza è venuta a chiedermi dei diavoli, forse avrei dovuto indicarle l'ufficio delle imposte".

Their conversation dove into rapid Italian, leaving you in the dust. It was rude but precisely their intention. Your attention wandered from them and across the hauntingly beautiful church interior, finally resting on the choir boy standing in the shadows.

He looked very pale. The poor guy was scared, scared shitless. His lips moved soundlessly; words stuck in his throat like swallowed stones. Tracing his petrified stare, your own eyes landed on the towering wall of the church.

The shadow Raphael was casting was not human; wings unfurled from its back and double horns crowned its head. It looked both eerie and beautiful in the soft candlelight. A part of you admired it for its artistic potential; this could be inspiration for some haunting fanart.

Wait a second.

“Do you see it too?” You mouthed silently to the choir boy who nodded frantically, sweat on his forehead.

A surge of relief washed over you - finally someone else shared your madness. But before you could reach out to him, he darted away into the ink-black abyss of the back room. Raphael's touch on your hand halted any thought of following him.

“Ah, pay him no heed,” dismissed the priest nonchalantly. “The boy’s mind is somewhat...disturbed.” He quickly clarified with an awkward laugh: “Not that we judge here – all are welcome under God's roof.”

Even the Devil himself, it seemed.

Your gaze returned to Raphael and then flickered towards the pastor; he either couldn't see or chose to ignore the monstrous shadow of his parishioner.

Or perhaps, he did see it and was merely delighted to meet his true master.

"Take all the time you need, Flavio," Raphael said, his hand dismissive as he sent the pastor scurrying. "We're in no rush."

The priest melted into the shadows of a side corridor, leaving you alone with the Devil in God's house. If Raphael nudged you back just a fraction more, your body would be flush against the cold stone altar.

You found the idea very intriguing.

"Our little escapade last night was quite... memorable, wouldn't you agree?" His fingertips traced a path along your cheekbone. "Did you come here seeking salvation from your sins?"

"Sins? No," you replied coyly. "There are other things that trouble me... Like how I lost my job because of you."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, thumb caressing the curve of your cheek. “And how exactly did I manage such a feat?"

"Well, my company was acquired by yours and I was restructured away."

A slight frown creased his brow as he considered this. "So, you were employed by Tenebris? That is an unfortunate twist of fate." He paused before continuing, "Did you enjoy working for them?"

"Not particularly," you admitted, "but it paid my bills and kept me fed."

He smiled, his touch lingering on your skin. "And what price tag did they put on keeping you pliant?"

"Two thousand two hundred euros net”.

And sixty euros. Plus a free travel pass and a discount at a gym you never went to. Plus a yearly bonus!

This revelation seemed to snap him out of his trance-like admiration of you.

"A month?" His tone held an edge of horror and for once, it felt good to see him rattled.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. His gaze was filled with genuine sympathy. It wasn't such a terrible salary - it was above the country's average after all!

"I see," he murmured. "This explains your living situation. My dear Anya, don't let anyone under-value you; your time is worth far more than that. As for your current predicament - and I confess to having contributed to it - I will make amends."

With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a plain leather wallet. You couldn't resist taking a look yourself; there was a government ID card, a driver's licence and several other cards you couldn't identify. He pulled out a sleek black credit card and handed it over.

"I'll let my banker know you're authorized," he said. “He will contact you with regards to security details”.

"No, no, that's not what I meant," you quickly interjected, pride sparking in your chest. "I can fend for myself."

"Don’t you ever say no to me," Raphael warned with a playful edge to his voice as he pulled you closer into his arms. "It won't end well."

His jesting tone didn't quite mask the threat in his words, but you couldn't help but grin. Whatever he says, the very way he says it is just so nice.

"I'd rather have a job," you said, not sure if you were actually that eager to get back into the corporate grind.

"Then I shall arrange one for you," he grinned. "A prestigious position under a very demanding superior. It will keep you very, very occupied."

You were pretty sure that position was not what you went to college for. Then again, didn't he say yesterday that he had a job for you?

"Consider it limitless," Raphael added nonchalantly while your fingers traced the cool metal of the credit card. "If you manage to find its limit, consider me thoroughly impressed."

Did he want you to splash out on new clothes and the like? But there were more pressing matters at hand. Your mum had just cleared her towering credit card debt and was in need of some expensive dental work. The local cat shelter was on the brink of closure and rent was due.

"I actually wanted to help my mum out a bit, if that's okay, she's, ugh"... you started, rolling the credit card in your hands.

"Anya," Raphael interrupted sternly. "You shall have whatever you wish for.”

You nodded and looked into his eyes, remembering the pleasure of lying under him yesterday and how much you wanted to do so again.

"About last night," you said. "Should I take the morning-after pill..."

Raphael shook his head in disbelief.

"You Catholic girls... No need for that considering our activities last night, but even if there was...I've always envisioned having a family but never found the right woman."

It's such a stupid cliché, you thought, as your stomach fluttered and you let him lean in for a kiss.

But maybe. Just maybe. Maybe he really meant it. He had such a horrible life in hell. Maybe you were the first one…

…the actual first one, the one…

Right . You still don't want to die in childbirth, however flattering Raphael’s words might be. If you pay for Plan B with his credit card, will he see it? Nah, better use your own.

"...right," you murmured against his mouth, then remembered what else was bothering you. "And could you please tell your colleagues that we are together?".

Were you even together, you wondered in sudden fear, but Raphael nodded:

"I'll make it very much known, if that's what you wish for."

Your heart pounded in agreement. The more people knew, the more tangible it felt.

As Raphael's lips melted against yours, you glanced at his shadow on the wall and smiled; he must have thought you were looking at the confessional, for apparently the horned outline of his own shadow was not bizarre to him.

"Would you like to confess? I could absolve you of all sins" Raphael whispered in your ear, his hand slowly but surely tracing the full curve of your arse, still sore from his tail-whipping. "I am afraid you have to commit them first, though”.

He gave it a light squeeze and you yelped; he seemed to revel in the sound.

"We're in the sacred house," you blushed, squirming under his very bold advances and enjoying them very much.

"Indeed we are," Raphael concurred, his hands yanking you into the shadowy Catholic confessional, shoving you in first. The image of him cloaked in his holy robes flashed in your mind and a giggle bubbled up at the sheer audacity of it all. “What better place for blasphemy?”

The cabin was barely big enough for the two of you, dimly lit and very narrow; meant for one person only, the other chamber remained empty, separated only by a small window. The smell of old wood and incense filled your nostrils as he closed the door behind you.

The last time you went to confession, you were a teenager and the priest was so old and ugly that no dirty thoughts crossed your mind; but now you suddenly realised that there was no hotter place on earth.

Raphael's lips brushed your earlobe, his stubble against your cheek, "Kneel before me," he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. "Show me how remorseful you are for cavorting with the Devil."

You weren’t sorry.

Not one bit.

Without hesitation or second thoughts, just like you had before the chair yesterday, you sank to your knees in front of him. Something told you that this will become a familiar position for you in the days to come.

The moment your face was against his groin, Raphael undid his pants. His cock sprang out, large, reddish and throbbing; even better than you had imagined. You couldn't help but wrap your hands around it, almost in disbelief that this thing was so real and so eager for your mouth. A bead of pre-cum glistened at the tip, and you licked it off, savouring the salty and musky taste.

Raphael gasped above you, his body tense with pure lust. Your thighs clench together in excitement and you feel the soaked panties stick to your pussy as you feel him guide your head towards his cock.

“Repent, you little sinner”, Raphael muttered, his voice thick with lust. "Plead for your redemption."

Judging by his state, he should be the one pleading.

You teased him with slow, deliberate licks, the tip of your tongue tracing his frenulum up and down (he loved it). You nuzzled your cheek against his rigid shaft, a purr of satisfaction escaping your lips as you lavished it with wet, open-mouthed kisses. Each vein was a roadmap for you to follow, every inch of his cock kissed and licked with a fervour that bordered on reverence.

"Enough," he said. "I want to see the depth of your remorse".

Your tongue slid over the top of his head and your lips followed, parting as you slowly took him into your mouth. Raphael moaned and you echoed him, your voice pulsing against his shaft, the church walls echoing the unholy litany. You sucked his cock greedily, desperately, drawing him into a warm, needy vacuum, and the harder you tried, the wetter you became.

You wanted to give Raphael the blowjob of his millennium; you gave everything to serve him, saliva slicking down his shaft, down your chin, down your t-shirt, as every muscle in your mouth worked hard for his pleasure. The world around blurred into nothingness; all you could focus on was the dark thatch of hair framing his groin and the rhythmic motion of his cock sliding in and out of you.

No one ever wanted to suck him off as much as you did, as deep and sloppy and messy as you did. You liked the scent of him, the taste of him, the feeling of him, the sound of him; everything about him; you’d love to suck him dry.

“Keep going”, Raphael let out a moan of such desperate pleasure it could be pain. "Dare to stop and I promise you'll taste hellfire."

As if you had any intention of stopping; this was an act of worship you could perform for eternity.

You glanced up; he was sweated, chestnut locks clinging to his forehead, the flickering candlelight casting dancing shadows across his face, and you felt more powerful than ever in your life. He tugged his necktie loose and opened the collar, his breathing coming out harsh and shallow. He was at your mercy; at the mercy of your tongue and throat.

Raphael bucked his hips, desperate to thrust in your mouth, and you let him take control; let him grab and hold your head while you simply hang in his grip, pliant and passive, as his cock jerked in and out. He went at it with such ferocity as if he hadn’t fucked for months; which you very well knew not to be true.

Gag reflex kicked in, your body threatening to revolt, and you repressed it with all the will you had, tears gathering in your eyes, and with each move of his hips it became more and more challenging. Thankfully, his bucking became more desperate; your mouth clamped down harder around his cock, and you let your tongue run up and down his shaft.

You felt hot jets of liquid gush against your throat as Raphael cried out, his body shivered and he leaned forward as he came, and you felt stupid happy. A larger bit of his cum dribbled straight down your throat, the rest pooled in your mouth around his cock.

“Swallow”, Raphael said, his voice deeper, rougher now. "Take all of me."

He was not going to pull out, not until every drop of him was inside you, so you made two very deliberate gulps, rolling the slight bitterness of his release on your tongue before you swallowed it all down.

Then you looked up at him like a starving animal - hungry for more. Your fingers carefully gathered the stray droplets of his cum and you greedily licked them off. As a final gesture, you kissed the tip of his cock, to which he cursed under his breath; something in Italian; whichever it was, it sounded hot.

You grinned, licking your lips, so proud of yourself.

"You are divine," Raphael said as he pulled you up by your hair, pressing you hard against the confessional wall before claiming your lips in a rough kiss – tasting himself on them. "Divine. You are a treasure. I cannot believe my own luck. I cannot believe…”

In that moment, if he had told you he loved you, you would have believed him without hesitation.These very words were on the tip of your tongue but you chose to channel it all into the kiss.

The priest's footsteps echoed through the church, amplified by the silence.

"Li ho presi," he happily announced.

Raphael hastily adjusted his clothing, looking genuinely embarrassed for a brief moment. The two of you stumbled out of the confessional, not exactly gracefully.

From the pastor's expression, you could tell he understood what had happened between you and Raphael in the confessional. Your faces were flushed and your hair was disheveled from his hands tugging and pulling on it. Your damp chin, which you hastily wiped with your sleeve, only made things more obvious.

“...Raul," Flavio chided with a tone heavy with disapproval. "I still hope to wed you in this very church, but you're making it exceedingly difficult."

His eyes didn’t even glance at you; apparently, any attempt at salvation or reprimand was wasted on you now.

"I donate millions to this church,” Raphael retorted dismissively, dusting off imaginary lint from his shoulders. "If you want others to overlook certain things, you should be prepared to do the same."

The Father raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he handed over some documents to Raphael.

With that, the audience was over.

The angel statues glared down at you with undisguised contempt; particularly the one clutching a sword. That’s exactly why people turn to devils, you judgemental winged pricks on high horses, you thought. You rolled the aftertaste of devil's cum on your tongue and thought that going to heaven was definitely not in your near future.

Exiting the church, you were met by two armed men standing guard at the doors. For a moment, you thought you were being apprehended for lewd conduct in public. Raphael's security, you realized.. Of course he had security. Both looked like dark, looming, emotionless twin shadows. What were they really? Cambions? Orthons? Surely no one could truly harm him?

You clutched closer to Raphael, his lips brushing your forehead as he attended another phone call.

“Mamma mia,” he blurted out mere moments after he picked up, and a chuckle escaped you at how stereotypically Italian he sounded. You hadn't realized that was an actual phrase they used. His furrowed brows and concerned tone quickly sobered up the mood though, "What happened? Where? Was it on Main Street?"

He looked genuinely troubled and you offered silent comfort by intertwining your fingers with his. He responded with a reassuring squeeze.

“One of my juniors got into a...”, he told you as soon as he had hung up. “Into some macabre road accident”.

Hit by a bus, you realized with a jolt but kept your silence.

You had to witness it yourself.

Without a word, you followed Raphael to the crash scene, the wailing sirens of fire trucks and ambulances echoing in your ears. Security trailed along behind, all of you making your way through the gathering crowd.

The sight that greeted you was both mundane and horrifying, in a way that only real life could be. The bus stood askew, its once deep blue body now painted with crimson streaks. And there, on the cold pavement, was...splattered…what was left of a person.

"I don't know what happened," an older Asian man sobbed nearby, his words falling on deaf ears. "I swear I've been driving this thing for twenty years, I swear I was not drunk..."

The policewoman stood tall and stern above him, her arms crossed in a way that made it clear she had already formed her judgement. Some other kind soul actually offered him an anti-shock blanket. Some less kind souls were taking pictures of their phones. News reports were arriving, too.

This poor man probably had a family to support. What would happen to him now?

You could handle all the exaggerated violence and gore on television, but you absolutely could not watch the man sprawled out on the pavement in real life; or at least what was left of him. It reminded you of the cherry pudding from the evening before. You could see his broken glasses scattered haphazardly on the ground and tears welled up in your eyes.

He was a jerk, sure, but he was also mortal, like you. Now he lay dead, wrapped in plastic sheets, and it could have easily been you.

Where was he now? Did Raphael claim his soul?

Did you cause his death?

You didn't mean for it to happen. Well, maybe you did, but...

“Don’t look, piccola,” Raphael murmured in your ear, his hand shielding your eyes. “You fainted over a cherry pudding once; this is by far worse. Damn it! My youngest and most promising. Just twenty-seven years old and newly engaged. An absolute tragedy.”

The same age as you.

"I'm sorry... he was so rude to me," you choked out between sobs. "I didn't think..."

“Anya, please, it's none of your fault,” Raphael’s voice softened. “Just the cruelty of fate; an accident. We cannot be held responsible for such misfortunes”.

“No?”, you asked with a faint hope.

You were not a bad person, even if you were fucking the devil; in fact, you were going to splurge his credit card on all the animal shelters and children battling cancer to make up for what you had just did. You were not a bad person.

You were not a murderer, no, no, no.

“No,” he repeated and then a slight smile, completely inappropriate to the moment, touched his lips. “Except when very much are responsible; unless we made it happen.”

Raphael’s words made you flinch slightly but he maintained his hold on you.

Yeah, well, you did that, you wanted to say, I did nothing, I only wished for it.

“The driver must have been under the influence,” he continued . “I cannot conceive any other reason for running over a pedestrian at a red light.”

You breathed out. The air was thick with the smell of gasoline, burned rubber and the scent of blood; metallic smell of death.

“Oh, you look rattled, poor thing, look at those tears”, he cooed and offered you a handkerchief with his initials on it. “Anya, love, my apologies, but I have to attend to this immediately. There’s going to be press, rumors that we work people to death that’s why he was not looking around. I need to be there for my company”.

For the company?

“…And for his family, of course”, Raphael added as if reading your thoughts. “That’s his fiance over there, I suppose. Oh, take her away, you morons…”

There she was, the woman in a suit, wailing like a banshee, as somebody tried to hold her close and hug her. What she had seen just now she would never, ever forget.

Raphael held both your shoulders and rotated you to face him.

“You.. you know what? Go shopping, distract yourself a bit. Then call my driver to take you to my place. We'll spend the evening together”.

His words were met with a hollow nod from your side. You cast another side glance at the accident, and he gently turned your face towards him again.

"And learn when to look away," Raphael murmured, punctuating his advice with a soft kiss on your lips, "It's an essential survival skill."

#bg3 raphael #bg3 #raphael bg3 #raphael the cambion #fanfic #raphael x tav #raphael x player #raphael x reader #meta

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or0ch1maru · 2 days

Note

Who in the akatsuki would have a daddy/mommy kink?

Who would be turned off by it?

Who wouldn't mind it but likes it because you enjoy it?

who would absolutely go feral the minute you address them by that?

Hiiiii bby ^.^ this definitely got me thinkin’ let’s get into it🫶🏻

-for starters, I don’t think any of them would be turned off by it, some would just be curious about it, not really understanding the concept behind it

18+, minors, and ageless blogs DNI. Mommy/daddy kinks, short blurbs about rough sex or sexual situations. Konan is wlw so mentions of straps/tribbing. Uses they/them for orochimaru

-Hidan would have you bent over the nearest surface the second the word fell past your lips. Even if that means having your face mushed into the grass mid mission. He’d also be very vocal about it. “Who’s daddy’s slut hm? Or “be daddy’s good girl and ride my cock.”

-Kakuzu would be just like Hidan but less vocal about it. He’d give you a knowing glance at first, taking in the way your soft lips parted as you said the word before pushing your knees to your chest. Thrusting into you at a cruel pace. You may get a “didn’t know daddy’s girl was so dirty”

-Konan I personally believe wouldn’t mind being called either(I don’t see her using the names on anyone though) it just depends on her mood. If she’s feeling softer and just wants your legs to be intertwined as your cunts grind against each other she’d love nothing more than to hear mommy fall from your lips in a chant. “Aww, you’re being so good for mommy.” Now, if she’s stressed and needs to fuck her frustrations out, she’d have your face pressed against the mattress in prone bone “speak up angel, daddy can’t hear you”

-Obito’s possession kink and obsession over you would just double, no, triple if you called him daddy. He’d make sure to fuck a baby into you that same night, even if that means round after round. Your cunt taking all that he’s giving you. Uchiha’s love the hardest, and I sense they show that best through physical touch and sex. So don’t be surprised by your third orgasm of the night your lovers mouth whispering “you’re taking daddy’s cock so well, so stretched ‘n full. You’re makin’ daddy feel so good baby” into your ear.

-just like Obito, Itachi would go a little crazy. He wouldn’t be rough about it, no. Our sweet boy would have you spread out before him, your hands pulling and tugging on his hair as he licks and laps at your cunt. Sucking on your clit as two of his fingers pump in and out of you, curling right where you need him too. “Louder baby, let daddy know how good he’s making you feel. Good girl.”

-Kisame would be similar to Hidan and Itachi. Yes he has moments where he’s rough, forcing both cocks into your tight hole, your nails digging into any skin or muscle you can grab onto. He’d start off rough, leaving bite marks and hickeys all over your neck and collar bones but when that specific word reaches his ears. He slows. “Hm? Daddy huh?” He reply’s cooly, hitting you with that smug smirk you love so much. “Let’s see how much daddy’s girl can take.”

-and lastly Juzo. I can see him being cruel with it, of course he has his soft side but when Juzo has sex, he fucks and fucks hard. You’d think he hates you when he rearranges your guts. “Daddy’s got such a whore, never knew she was so fuckin’ filthy.” He taunts, leaning forward, planting a rough bite into your neck as he takes you from behind. “That’s it, just like that girl. Daddy fuckin’ loves you.”

-deidara and Sasori would be on the curious side. I feel that our explosive blonde would definitely try it out and it comes naturally to him. If it wasn’t for you, he never would have discovered this kink. “Daddy’s got such a pretty little slut hmph. Gorgeous girl.” As for Sasori, he still can’t fully grasp it. I believe he’d only use it when he’s had a bad day and needs to get his anger out, using his favorite toy. You. Like Juzo, I feel like he’d be cruel about it and only uses it when he feels like it. “Daddy’s trained you better than this, take it. To the hilt, atta girl.” He groans as he forces himself down your throat.

-orochimaru is highly experienced, just like the zombie combo. They have tried out many kinks, toys, the whole works. They’ve heard of the daddy kink but never saw themself being the one to participate. Orochimaru doesn’t discriminate. So the day you ask to try it out, they don’t say no. In fact, Maru, encourages you. Goes a bit rougher than usual. Their three fingers in, stretching your hole to be able to take them. Making room for their tongue. “So stretched, can’t wait to feel my tongue stretch you lovie. Need you to cum on daddy’s tongue. Know you can do it.”

-Zetsu is a mix. White Zetsu would think it’s unusual, “humans and their weird names” is probably the first thing he’d think of but it wouldn’t be until black Zetsu uses it during sex that white Zetsu truly enjoys it. At least realizing he enjoys it. Seeing his princess’ fucked out expression as both cocks fill your little holes. Eyes glossed over and pink flushed cheeks that white Zetsu says “fuck princess, gonna’ make a mess outta daddy. Look at you.”

Extra:

Zabuza has you in doggy, this session already being rough, messy, and sloppy. Shoving your legs farther apart, deepening your arch. Only to lose his resolve when that one words slips outta you. His pace quickens, pulling you up onto all fours, one hand wrapping around your throat while the other slides two fingers into your mouth. Drool covering his entire hand with how sloppy you both are. “Fuckin’ brat, you just love pissin’ daddy off don’t you? Gotta fuck the attitude outta you.”

#akatsuki #akatsuki members #orochimaru #hidan headcanon #konan headcanons #zetsu x reader #kakuzu headcanons #sasori akatsuki #deidara smut #sasori smut #Konan smut #pain akatsuki smut #hidan smut #kakuzu smut #zetsu smut #obito smut #juzo akatsuki #juzo akatsuki smut #Zabuza smut

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garden-variety-jumo · 2 days

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With Dot and Bubble, one thing I would like to point out is that even with the "social media bad" messaging of the episode- it makes a good point.

The first thing Lindy does upon waking up, before anything else is turn on her bubble. She doesn't look around or move, she just turns on her bubble and is engulfed in her own private world. One of the first things I do in the morning is check my phone. I'm sure lots of people do, but showed back to us like this, it feels so dystopic

Does she even know what her own room looks like? Does she care?

The metaphor feels heavy-handed, but, at least for me, I don't feel talked down to about it.

When she can't walk without her bubble, when she doesn't know the place that she lives- how many people can't get around without Google maps or something similar?

It's like something we already live

And I don't think it's anyone's fault, it's more the rise of a reliance on technology that comes with capitalism and everything becoming virtual and apps being made to be addictive so we spend all our time there.

I'm a big advocate personally for trying to take the time to appreciate the world around you, because you might not be able to have time or the money or even access to go outside and turn off your screens and take up loads of outdoor hobbies but like. Maybe the sky is a pretty colour. Maybe the birds are singing. Even when it's overcast, the absence of sunlight makes all the other colours around you look vivid. Maybe you smile at a stranger and they smile back while you walk past. You just need to experience the world Somehow. How will you know you're alive otherwise?

#i Do want to touch upon the racism stuff in a broader semse but for now have these thoughts #dot and bubble #doctor who spoilers #lindy pepper bean #doctor who #dw spoilers

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sindirimba · 2 days

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hii i have another prompt ficlet. many many thank yous to @saturrain for sending me this one 🖤

From the 101 romantic/mildly spicy prompts for brief fic snippets, I can specify between #13 or #92, but can u do something for BoN inspired of what he said in the video https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMr1QQ3ja/

you should watch that video because it's cute as hell and definitely inspired the vibe of this. as did those numbered prompts!:

13 Kiss After Kiss After Kiss 92 Kisses All Over

---

Finally, finally, the plane door opened and people began filing out, and he patted the phone in his shirt pocket by instinct and started walking to meet her midway across the field. The moment he saw her, wearing an orange coat and hauling her backpack over her shoulder and reminding him of spring’s very first blooms peeking out to face the sun, he hurried a little more.

When they were a few meters apart she broke into a grin, and then moments later she leapt into his arms and hugged him with all her might, making him laugh helplessly, stumbling only slightly from the impact. She really had a knack for embodying her entire self in all that she did, he thought.

“Hey!” she dropped back down to her feet, beaming at him, letting him take the pack off her back. “You didn’t have to wait outside for me, Book.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, smiling as they turned to head back toward the tiny airport she’d flown into. “Good flight?”

“Yeah, alright.” She leaned into his side, knocking him a little off balance again. He liked it. “Glad to be back on solid ground. Glad to start our vacaa-aation,” she sing-songed her words, making him feel warm all over. The chill in the air had disappeared the moment he’d seen her step off the plane, honestly. “You ready to build so many snowmen?”

“I think so,” he said with a slight laugh. “More interested in the fireplace, but...”

“Yeah,” she laughed too.

The ride from the airport to their little cabin in the mountains was long enough for her to tell him about her trip, to talk about being excited to learn how to snowboard, to just talk to him and fill his recently fairly solitary existence with life and joy.

Nile’d said he was in his hermit era, a phrasing he’d been incredibly amused by and had thought about often as he’d settled temporarily into an exceedingly mundane life the past few months. Just to remember what it was like, he supposed. To try to get a grip on himself and his complicated and complicating feelings. But Nile, she wasn’t content to let him be a hermit forever, and he’d barely go a few days before hearing from her, by phone usually and by postcard, occasionally. And now, she’d convinced him to take a break from sunny hot Alpes-de-Haute-Provence to go freeze up on a mountain with her.

He’d definitely frozen to death in worse circumstances.

Once they got to the cabin, they cleaned a little, got comfortable, settled in. They’d stopped on the way to get provisions, and so after the settling into the kitchen he went to work on dinner.

He was washing up in the sink when he heard her footsteps behind him, and he glanced over to see her smile as she came over to join him. “Ah, I thought you’d take a nap,” he said, drying his hands, then nodding toward the oven now cooking their night’s meal. “It’ll be a while before food’s ready.”

“Yeah, I tried,” she said, turning toward him, leaning her hip against the counter. “Couldn’t settle down really, I was thinking too much.”

“Oh?” He turned toward her, too, wondering about the expression on her face, the softness in her eyes. “Nothing bad?”

“Nothing bad,” she said with a smile. “Smells good in here.” He ducked his head in thanks, and started to move around her to the fridge for drinks. But she paused him with a hand on his arm, and he met her eyes again. “Y’know I... I really did miss you, Book.”

His concern dampened, and he felt himself smile. “Missed you too.” He paused, words catching on his tongue. What more could he even say? She deserved his honesty but he struggled with it. “I missed you.”

She curled her fingers around the sleeve of his shirt, holding instead of simply pausing now. The kitchen was warm from the oven, even warmer there between them. He thought of their first meeting so long ago, the way he could barely seem to fathom her existence. He still felt like that now, a little.

“And, uh, I’m glad you agreed to come up here with me,” she continued, and he nodded once. As if he could have or wanted to say no to her. “Because it makes everything a lot easier. You know?”

He didn’t. “Easier?”

“Yeah,” she said, half-grinning, and she tugged on his arm, easily pulling him closer. His throat felt suddenly dry. “If the next time we met up was with the others, I was gonna have to make a scene and I really don’t want to do that.”

He couldn’t even begin to start questioning what she meant by that. It didn’t matter. She leaned in, eyes so warm and dark and soft, and then she kissed him. He let out a harsh breath, surprised. Electrified. He brought his hands up, framing her face between his palms, returning her kiss with all the urgency and hunger he could while still standing on his own two feet. She wrapped her arms around him, lips curving into a beautiful smile as the kiss continued on and on and on. He’d imagined this so often, craved it and feared it, and now it was no real shock that the reality of it left him frankly rather brainless.

He broke from her lips, kissed the corners of her mouth, her cheek, beside her eye, her temple, back down to her mouth, and she laughed, buried her fingers in his hair, walking him backwards until his back hit the wall. He grinned, pulling back only far enough that he could see her whole face again, her big eyes, her smile. The mole by her mouth, the little curls of hair next to her ears. “Nile.”

“Was hoping you’d react like that,” she said softly, teasing him, delighting him. He kissed her. She laughed. “See? This would have been way worse with everyone else around.” He laughed too, and then had to kiss her, again and again and again.

“You’re right,” he told her, stroking his thumb over her cheek, her brow, feeling marvelled. She cupped the back of his neck, leaned forward again to brush her lips over his, and he pulled her ever closer. Another kiss and another one, and in between each kiss, she laughed. Music to his ears, and she had him laughing with her, just from sheer overwhelming joy. Sheer hypnotism, or maybe some kind of magic that he hadn’t felt in so very long. What a feeling, he thought, and kissed her again.

#the old guard #book of nile

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guplia · 3 days

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My eighth fic for @badthingshappenbingo!

Fandom: Ninjago

Trope: Enemy Turned Caretaker

Inspired by this fic

Also available on AO3!

Fatherless

Kai collapsed on his bed the night Lloyd defeated the Overlord and his father. Who knew Garmadon would come back drained of all the evil in his blood? Kai was happy for him and his family. Lloyd, who thought he would never see his mother and only bring his father back by becoming evil himself mere months ago, now had both his parents, and his uncle, who were all very good people. Kai would hate to admit it though, but it made him feel… kind of jealous.

Out of the ninja team, Kai and Zane related more to each other because they never knew their parents. Jay would visit both of his own sometimes, and Cole had recently made amends with his father, though he never spoke of his mother. But later Zane reunited with his father too. Kai was happy for him, but now he was alone again. There was still Lloyd, though. He had his mother and his uncle, but not his father. But here Garmadon was today, alive and well.

He tried to sleep it off. At least he had Nya. In the end, all the ninja had their biological family, and that was enough for everyone. Right?

***

His thoughts got worse as time passed on.

Today, Kai and the others were helping to rebuild a house that had been destroyed in the final battle. He was talking to the other ninja and Garmadon when Lloyd told his father something he didn’t understand, and they started laughing. It was an inside joke. Just two weeks ago, Lloyd was trying to kill this guy. And now they’re laughing with each other like old friends, like soulmates.

Kai didn’t realise he was staring at them for so long until Nya tapped his shoulder. “You okay there? You seem a little distant from the rest of us.”

Kai shook his head frantically. “I do? Everything’s fine! I’m just a little overwhelmed from the Final Battle, isn’t everyone?” He chuckled nervously.

Nya raised an eyebrow, clearly sceptical of Kai, but shrugged it off and carried on with her work.

That night, Kai had a horrible nightmare. Garmadon was evil again, and Lloyd was hugging Kai for protection.

“I thought you were my father!” Lloyd screamed. “I thought you loved me!”

Garmadon smiled wickedly. “I have no son.” He moved his arm forward to grab Lloyd but Kai pushed his arm back.

“You dare interfere with our battle?” Garmadon yelled. He suddenly grabbed Kai's neck and lifted him off the floor. Lloyd was crying in contrast to Garmadon's laughs.

Kai woke up, drenched in sweat, which was ironic considering his body temperature was always above normal, being the master of fire and all.

He recalled how Lloyd and Garmadon were laughing with each other just that afternoon, and the thought of Garmadon secretly still being evil made his stomach churn. But he had no proof that the guy who was once his enemy is still his enemy. So he went back to sleep, silently hoping that he would have a better dream, if any.

***

About a couple weeks later, Jay's parents had come to visit their son. Dr. Julien had fallen quite ill so Zane was taking care of him elsewhere. Cole's dad was going to pick him up to take him somewhere too.

Kai ate his breakfast with Cole and Nya, none of them saying anything. Cole had the decency not to talk about whatever his father had planned for the two of them in front of the siblings who hadn't seen their parents in over a decade.

Kai was wondering where Lloyd had gone, but he reckoned that he was probably out with his parents too.

Or maybe just his father, because Wu and Misako were outside in the garden talking about scrolls and prophecies and their past or some other shit.

Kai walked to his room and curled up on his bed, having vivid thoughts of his parents. They were looking at him, smiling.

The only thing that stopped tears from coming out of his eyes was the sound of someone knocking on the door.

“Come in!” Kai said, wiping his eyes to make sure that they were completely dry. The door opened, revealing his sister.

“Sensei Garmadon's asking us if we want to go for a ride around Ninjago City. We'll even make a few stops here and there.”

Kai's eyes widened. “He wants to take us for a trip? But why?”

“I don't know. Just take it or leave it, I guess.”

“Are you going?”

“Yeah. I don't really have anything to do here anyways.”

“Then I'll go too.” Kai wanted to trust Garmadon, but months of trying to defeat him couldn't go ignored. Or the fact that he literally kidnapped Nya once. He needed to convince himself that this was not the same Garmadon. This was a better Garmadon, one that chose to be on the good side.

He got out of the room with Nya, where they saw Lloyd and his father.

“Kai!” Garmadon said gleefully. “Have you decided to join us too?”

“Sure,” he smiled. “Thanks for inviting us.”

“It's nothing. I figured you and Nya would be left alone here, and it's not like Misako and Wu are very fun people, are they?”

The Smith siblings chuckled a bit, not really having a response to that question. There was no need to disrespect the wife and brother of the person who just invited them for a trip around Ninjago.

“We'll be taking the bus, which should take us about five minutes to get to. Just grab whatever you need, maybe use the bathroom, and then we'll leave!”

A while later, the four of them were at the bus station. Kai stayed close to Nya, but kept a distance from Lloyd and Garmadon, not wanting to get into their personal business. The bus ride was quite similar.

They looked out of the window, before the bus stopped at the mall.

“We're just here to grab some food,” Garmadon assured them. “unless there's something else you two want?”

“No thanks,” they both said in unison.

Once everyone had ordered their food, Garmadon paid for all of it, despite Kai and Nya's insistence that they pay for it instead. It made Kai feel a little guilty.

When they had reached the next bus, and ate their food, Kai and Nya weren't sure of where they were heading. The fire ninja hoped it wasn't a theme park, because his stomach was beginning to hurt. Maybe the food wasn't so good. Garmadon broke the silence.

“Since Lloyd was so brave for being the Golden Ninja and defeating me, I let him choose the treat. So today, we're going on a cruise ship!”

Those words brought a smile to Nya's face but Kai's expression was drenched in horror. He wasn't the biggest fan of water, and while he could tolerate it on a normal day, he was already sick enough right now.

“Are you okay, Kai?” Garmadon asked.

“You don't look so good,” Lloyd chimed in.

“Yeah, yeah… I'm fine.” He faked a smile.

As soon as they got off the bus, Nya spoke up. “Can Kai and I… have a moment to ourselves please?” She asked politely.

“Sure.”

She pulled Kai away from the Garmadons, making sure they couldn't hear them. “What is wrong with you? Why's your attitude suddenly gotten worse?”

“Nya, I feel sick. I don't think the food was very clean. And you know how I don't really like water, right?” Nya's expression changed upon hearing what her brother said.

“Well, we're obviously not going to ruin Lloyd's trip! Just man up and let's go! You're a ninja for crying out loud!”

Kai didn't want to argue. On the ship a few minutes later, he couldn't stop looking at the sea. The trip hadn't even started yet, but the ship was still shaking and it made Kai sick. He started vomiting heavily. Nya came rushing behind him.

“Kai! Are you okay!”

“I can't do this,” he said between heaves. “It's too scary! I'm getting off. You should go without me.”

“That'll make me look horrible! You know what, we both won't go on the cruise trip. Well let Lloyd and his dad go alone.”

They walked towards the other two, who were on the other side of the ship. “Kai and I need to go,” Nya said. “but we hope you enjoy your trip!”

“Why? What's wrong?” Lloyd asked, puzzled.

“Kai's just feeling–”

“I'm a bit seasick. And I probably ate something bad,” he interrupted. “But I don't want to ruin your trip. I'll just wait here.”

Garmadon gave an understanding look. “That's okay. We can go back home now.”

“W-what?” Kai stammered. “No way! Those tickets must've been expensive!”

“It's not that much!” Lloyd said. “Besides, the tickets are valid for six months. I can go anytime I want to.”

“But you really wanted to go–”

“Your opinion matters too, Kai,” Garmadon interrupted. “It matters just as much as Nya's, and Lloyd’s.”

“You may not see me as a father figure,” he said. “But you're just like my children to me. You treated Lloyd like your brother, and for that I am forever grateful. I wasn't really sure how to show it to you two, so I brought you both to come along with Lloyd and I.” he paused. “But if it makes you feel uncomfortable you can tell me.”

As he spoke, memories flashed through Kai's mind. How he lost his parents at such a young age. How all the other ninja knew their parents. Then he remembered how protective Garmadon was as his son, even when he was evil. He cared for him more than anything else in the world. And now he's of equal importance.

It brought tears to his eyes. He tried to stop them but they kept flowing, like the blood from a fresh wound. He turned around to hide his face from the others but it was already too late.

“You okay there, Kai?” Garmadon asked.

“Yeah,” he rasped. “Sorry, I'm being such a baby–”

“You're not being a baby, Kai.” Lloyd interrupted. “It's okay to have feelings. That's what makes us human.” He ran to Kai and hugged him, with Nya and Garmadon following suit.

He kept sobbing until he suddenly pushed the other three away.

“Kai! What was that for?” Nya said, annoyed by her brother.

Kai leaned over the railing and started throwing up all over again. It wouldn't stop this time.

“There, there,” Garmadon said, patting his back. “I think we should go home now. You're clearly seasick.”

***

Back home, Garmadon gave Kai some anti nausea medication while he rested in bed. The food had brought the worst out of him and now he had a fever.

That night Kai finally accepted the fact that Garmadon was no longer evil as he took care of him.

“You don't need to do anything, you know.” Kai said as he shivered in bed. “I can take care of myself.”

“Well, I'm not going to do nothing while you suffer,” was Garmadon's response as he placed a cool cloth on Kai's forehead. “besides, you can barely stand up.”

Kai thought for a moment, before speaking again. “I'm sorry for ruining your trip.”

“Again, Kai, there's nothing to apologise for.” Garmadon said as he stood up. “We're family.” He got up and turned off the lights. “Goodnight, Kai.”

“Goodnight.”

***

Years later, as Kai looked at Lloyd's fragile body, unsure of if he'll even survive, he was in complete denial that the man who once called himself as both of their father, had almost killed Lloyd after saying: “I have no son.”

#ninjago #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #lloyd ninjago #kai ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago nya #nya ninjago #nya smith #ninjago garmadon #garmadon #sensei garmadon #bad things happen bingo #badthingshappenbingo

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