#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader

[thebearer]

baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.

read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!

contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.

"Shit."

The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.

After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.

You were late.

A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.

You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."

"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"

You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.

"I thought you said you wanted kids?"

"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"

Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."

Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.

You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.

"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.

"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"

"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.

You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.

"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.

Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.

You hoped Carmen would be in them.

That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.

"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.

Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.

Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.

"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.

"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."

The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.

Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."

"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."

"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."

"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."

"Then-Then how the fuck-"

"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.

"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.

"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."

"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."

You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.

"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.

You were alone.

"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"

"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.

"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"

"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.

"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"

"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"

"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"

"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.

Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.

"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."

"I did not-"

"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"

"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.

"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"

"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"

"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."

"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.

"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.

"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.

"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.

"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.

Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.

"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"

Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.

Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."

"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.

"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."

Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"

"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"

"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.

"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.

"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"

"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."

The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.

"You left?"

"You fuckin' what?"

Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.

"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.

"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"

"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"

"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.

"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."

"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"

"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."

Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."

Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?

"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.

Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"

"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"

"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.

"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."

"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.

Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.

Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."

"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"

"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.

"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."

"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."

Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"

"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.

"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.

"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."

Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.

He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.

Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?

You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.

You'd be better without him.

His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.

Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.

It didn't work, of course. It never did.

His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.

You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.

Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.

You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.

The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.

You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.

"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.

"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."

Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.

You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."

Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.

"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."

Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"

"Yeah, I-"

"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.

"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.

"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.

"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.

The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.

"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"

Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"

"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"

"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."

"How you would be?"

"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.

Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."

Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."

"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."

You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.

"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.

"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"

"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."

"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"

Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.

Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"

"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.

"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.

Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."

"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"

"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."

You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.

"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."

"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.

Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"

You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.

"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"

"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."

Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"

"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."

Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.

Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.

For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.

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[answer2jeff]

i was just thinking about dad!carmy missing his wifey when she's on a girls trip for the first time since their daughters birth and anxiously waiting for her to call him...

valeria has just been put to sleep after a seemingly endless hour and a half of rocking, soothing, and shushing.

"relax baby, mommy's gonna be home before you know it," carmy says, kissing the top of valeria's head and wincing a bit when her little fist tightens around his thick index finger. "yes i know," he sighs as she lets out one last wail of 'mama' followed by incoherent babbles before her body begins to relax at the sound of her daddy's soothing hums. no one is exactly sure where the song came from. maybe it's a pre-existing song further expanded on with different notes. maybe it's a whole new song with a lack of words he made just for his little girl.

carmen's back is sore and his hands mourn the weight of his precious girl in his arms, even if he's more than happy that she's finally at peace in her crib. the reality of his temporary loneliness really sets in the moment he closes the door to his daughters nursery.

he tries to distract himself from the sight of your nearly empty home. he's been wiping down the perfectly spotless kitchen counter with a microfiber towel for the last 3 and a half minutes while he scrolls aimlessly through your Instagram with his free hand, smiling to himself with every photo of you glistening in the summer heat. a margarita in one hand, a friends shoulder in the other. he's always thought you're the most beautiful when you're happy. with the sand in between your toes, salt water frizzing up your hair, the sun caressing the spots of your skin he wished he was the one to hold and kiss—seeing you free warms something in him.

meanwhile, you're falling onto your back and feeling the silky cold fabric of your hotel room bed against your skin. the bikini you've had on for hours is still a little damp from the ocean. it makes you shiver. you giggle at your 2 friends who pile into your shared bathroom, ready to puke and laugh and cry at their sickness from alcohol. you decide that you should kill some time before it's your turn to shower and boil yourself in delicious hot water. the balcony calls your name, and you quickly grab your phone from your beach bag, getting up to slide the glass door open to your left. the air feels warm and sweet against your sunkissed skin. your bare feet patter against the concrete foundation before you lean against the railing. you don't even bother to check anyone else's attempts at communication with you today. carmen is the only thing on your mind.

carmen nearly jumps at the sound of his cellphone vibrating against the bathroom sink. he quickly spits the minty toothpaste out of his mouth and accepts your call, raising it to his ear and wiping the corner of his lip.

"hey, baby," he breaths into the line, smiling almost uncontrollably as he drops his toothbrush back in the mug. the absence of yours with that pink little clip that covers the bristles is so disheartening. it's kinda silly, the way he frowns at the missing pieces of you all around your house.

"hi!" you chew on your bottom lip. it's like you're hearing his voice for the first time again. the petname sends butterflies swarming through your stomach. hell, even with a ring on your finger, it feels like you'd just met yesterday. the sound, smell, and feeling of him could never get old.

carmen yawns, leaning back on the bed and feeling his stomach drop when the little dip in the memory foam mattress has completely raised up to its original form. god, he misses the weight of your presence. but he tries to keep it cool.

"i was just thinkin' about you. well, i've been thinking about you this whole weekend," he laughs, running his hands through his sweatlogged curls. "glad you called."

"i know," you whine, "me too. missing you both, actually." your head feels fuzzy when carmen's little huff of agreement hits your ears. for a moment, his calm attitude surprises you. but maybe it shouldn't. he insisted you should go on this 2 day trip, swearing up and down he could handle being with valeria for a little over 48 hours.

"missing you so much more."

you didn't doubt his ability to keep his temper down and his self-discipline up when taking care of her, but you almost felt a little guilty.

"how are things?" you anxiously ask. carmen goes to answer dishonestly, but you quickly clarify. "and before you tell me, i know things have probably been kinda crazy. but oh my god, carmy, thank you for letting me do this. really, i mean—"

"what?" he cuts you off with a chuckle. "letting you? baby, you—you needed it. fuck, you earned it." carmen sits up in disbelief. it pains him knowing he can't fill in the much needed space of valeria's mother, but the guilt of ever daring to ask you to fly back home would kill him even faster. all he wanted was for you to be happy. even if that required sacrifice. especially since he knew deep down you did that for him every single day, even if you didn't notice it.

"mhm."

"i'm so glad you're having fun. things have been hectic, but i'm managing, okay? valeria has just been..." carmen pauses, gnawing at the inside of his cheek and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to find the right words.

you relax a bit, letting out a deep sigh of relief. but the anxiety still eats at you. the feeling of your bikini strings digging into your skin and the sand on your inner thighs forming what would soon become a rash if you didn't shower soon certainly wasn't helping with your situation.

"...tough recently. that's all. nothing for you to worry about."

"i know, i know. i just—i don't know. i feel bad. like, my mom instincts are screaming 'go home and take care of your daughter like a proper mother you sick, sick woman! you're not a teenager anymore! god, your poor husband is taking time off of his career too! not just you,' y'know?"

the attempt of trying to make some light out of your guilt just comes out awfully sad. carmen sighs, wishing he could just envelop you in his arms right then and there and drag you back into bed, kissing and squeezing and softly biting your neck and shoulders. but his needs can be dealt with when you get back. this, your sanity and your happiness, is far more important.

"try not to even think about it like that, sweet girl. just enjoy yourself. promise me you'll do that? not just for me, but for you?"

you nod, humming in agreement and sitting down on the cheap plastic chair on the balcony. you knew he was right. carmen spends next few minutes whispering over and over again how wonderful of a person, wife, and mother you are. he assures you that this is right and that it's good for you. oh, how he wishes he could take every worry that ails you and toss it away. or even carry it on his own shoulders if he absolutely had to.

"call me when you get to the airport on monday, okay?"

"okay, i will. i'll text you as soon as i take off and as soon as i land. promise."

"alright, thank you. g'night, baby. get some sleep so you can have even more fun tomorrow."

"yeah, yeah. okay. gotcha."

"i love you."

"i love you, carmy."

"so much," he breaths.

"so much," you reply.

taglist : @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria

#carmen berzatto #ugh this was so cute #also i wrote this in 30 minutes please excuse me if there are any typos!! #carmen berzatto blurb #dad!carmy x mom!reader #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmy berzatto

[caramelberzatto]

sleepless in chicago // c. berzatto

HI!! here is my first ever dad!carm fic because i simply couldn't get him out of my head. i just love this sweet, little fic so much?? because it just felt so cosy for me when i was writing. i hope you guys love it, too :) and also, i'd like everyone to welcome little riley michael berzatto <3 - clarke pairing: carmy x fem!reader (no description, use of fem pronouns)

The streetlights glowed like stars as you drove home, humming along to the radio. After a long lecture, you were ready to take a long, hot shower and collapse into bed with Carmy.

In the cup holder, your phone began to ring, Carmy's name popping up on the screen. Flicking the Bluetooth toggle on your steering wheel, you answered the call.

"Hi, Bear, I'm almost home."

“Hey, honey,” his voice was low, quiet, and you could hear Riley’s soft coos and babbles in the background. “How was class?”

“Good, yeah. Long, though. Is everything okay? Did Riley lose his paci again? Why isn’t he asleep?”

“Hey, shh, it’s okay, mommy’s coming home, alright?” Carmy cleared his throat, glancing at his son in the bassinet, unable to fight his smile as he watched Riley squirm, reaching his little hands up toward the mobile, sea creatures swimming through the air. “He was asleep, but I was folding laundry in our room and I just heard him start babbling, just saying ‘mom’ over and over. He’s not upset, he’s just, like, awake. And no matter what I do, he won’t settle.”

You smiled to yourself, drumming your fingers on the steering wheel as a red light gleamed at you.

“Try taking him out of his sleepsack, he probably just wants to snuggle.”

“I think he misses you,” he said, voice moving away from the phone with each word. “Isn’t that right, Bug? We miss mommy, huh? But she’s learning, Buggy, she’s so smart. Yes, she is.”

Grinning, you turned onto your street, able to see the lamplight from your bedroom already. One window lit up, a beacon against the otherwise dark house.

At first, when you’d found out you were pregnant, Carmen had been worried. The two of you had agreed to start actively trying to have a child, but when it came to fruition, there was a tumultuous night spent with him, clinging to you, worked up into a state of panic.

‘What if I can’t do it, what if I fucking suck and I fuck it all up, and our baby-’

‘Stop it. Stop. Carm, look at me. Look at me and just shut up for a second.’ You pulled him close, his head resting in the crook of your neck. ‘We will figure it all out together. We’re going to be fine.’

He’d been so worried that he’d grow to create a fucked up family, just like the one he’d escaped from. But seeing him now… He never gave himself enough credit. 

Toeing off your shoes by the door, you crept down the hall and into the bedroom. Kicking off your jeans in exchange for a pair of sweatpants, you were lifting your shirt over your head when the bedroom door creaked softly. You glanced over your shoulder and there they were; Carmen stood in the doorway, shirtless, gold chain gleaming, in a pair of boxers. With Riley on his hip, sleepy eyes bright. Your son babbled, reaching for you with soft, chubby fingers. 

“Hi, mama,” Carmy smirked, gaze darting over you. You wandered over to them, dropping your shirt on the floor, swatting your husband playfully. Carmen pulled you in, his hand cradled the back of your head as he pressed an almost desperate kiss to your lips.

With Riley sandwiched between you, his warm little body like a heater, his curious hands playing with the strap of your bra, you rested your forehead against Carmy’s, just relishing the moment with him. 

Your little family.

And you’re struck, all at once, by the memory of every moment you’d spent wishing for something like this. It had all seemed so unattainable, so out of reach; but you’d just been a lonely teenager, stuck in your hometown. The world hadn’t opened up to you yet.

But now?

If your younger self could’ve seen this, this little moment between the love of your life and the joint result of it, your son…

Well, they’d be proud that you never gave up searching for that comfort, that peace, you’d always craved.

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #jeremy allen white #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you

[faerygrant]

so much wine - carmen berzatto x reader

summary: Carmen wants to prove to you that your relationship means a lot to him, what better way to do so than introducing you to his mother over dinner.

warnings: angst, swearing, minor injury, crazy Donna Berzatto appearance

Christmas time in Chicago was indeed the most wonderful time of year, in your opinion of-course. Snow was falling, trees brightly decorated in twinkling fairy lights and colourful ornaments and most of all, it was a time for reuniting with family and friends.

The beginning of your relationship with Carmen was…unorthodox to say the least. He hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend in the normal way most men did, it was an awkward three months into your “arrangement” of sleeping together, him being partially moved into your brownstone and being introduced to all of his staff at the Bear when you finally posed the question. What are we?

He was stunned, you were stunned and you both stood there for a good 5 minutes in silence until he admitted he thought you were already dating, causing you to let out a loud sigh of relief. You’d told him that usually one asks the other to be their girlfriend to which he just shrugged and smiled, telling you he wanted you to be “his forever.” That satisfied you.

Now meeting his family wasn’t a big deal to you, you’d met Nat only a month into the relationship, as she was regularly at the restaurant, you’d heard about what happened to his brother but never pestered him much about it, as for the rest of his family, he never spoke much about them. He of-course called Richie cousin but you were mad very aware early on by Carmen, that they weren’t actually related in any way.

It hadn’t bothered you much until one night a few weeks ago, while out with your friends, Christmas plans were mentioned, one of them asking if you’d be spending it with yours or Carmy’s parents to which you admitted you hadn’t yet met them. Most of the girls shrugged it off but Mia, your highschool friend had taken this as a red flag.

“You’ve been with him for a year, he’s met your parents, you guys LIVE together and you haven’t met his mom?” Her eyes bulged in disbelief, leading you to down your cosmo worriedly.

“I’m sure it’s nothing and if it is, he probably has good reason. He could be protecting you, you never know” Your other friend Maisie assured, ever the voice of reason. You smiled at her words. Though you couldn’t pretend that you hadn’t began to internalise what Mia had said. You knew Carmy’s dad left when they were younger, but he never mentioned his mother, ever. Unless Sugar did and he’d always step out when they’d speak about her. The only photos you’d seen of her were when you’d visit Sugar and Pete’s and even then, they were old ones.

So yes, despite the holiday being the most wonderful time of the year, the past few days the issue of Carmen’s mom had been weighing on you heavily. You’d considered prying information out of Richie, but you knew he was too loyal to Carmen, Fak would rat you out to Richie, who once again, would alert Carmen of your questions. You knew the best thing to do was either ask your boyfriend or forget about it, unfortunately your brain wasn’t going to allow yourself to do either.

Luckily for you, Carmen had noticed how out of it you’d been acting the past days and had finally had enough. So one evening after work, the restaurant closing early due to heavy snow, Carmy had approached you, ready for answers.

“Are we good?” He asks, taking a seat beside you on the bed. His tattooed arms bulging as he crossed them, adorned in a navy sweater and grey sweats. His hair was a curly mess probably from the windy evening air and he smelt of cigarette smoke and cologne.

“Wha- why wouldn’t we be?” You place the book you were reading besides you on the table and turn to look at him, feigning innocence.

“I dunno, you’ve just been actin’ kinda’ off past couple a days” he pauses, brining your knuckles to his lips and slowly grazing them with kisses. “Thought maybe you were mad at me” his tone is questioning.

“Oh Carmy, it’s not that.” You feel horrible, leaning into him to peck at his face. “It’s just that the girls and I were discussing Christmas plans and the conversation slipped into parents and Mia pointed out the fact that you’ve never introduced me to your mom, even though you’ve met both of my parents.” Immediately you see the way he tenses up, his veins appearing and his body stiffens.

“That really what’s been botherin’ you?” He asks genuinely.

“Yeah.”

“I jus- my ma’s not all there.” He whispers quietly, you notice how difficult it is for him, so you take his big hand in yours, squeezing tightly.

“Carmen I understand, it’s just important for me. If we’re going to be married one day and start a family than I’d like to meet her. The last thing I’d do is judge her.” You assure him, hopping he’d somehow believe you.

“I dunno, we’ll see.” He whispers, failing to meet your gaze.

“Alright.”

-

It was two weeks later, with lots of talking, deep heart to hearts and support from Nat and Pete, Donna Berzatto was coming to dinner at your an Carmy’s place. Carmy was a nervous wreck, insisting on working on the food in the kitchen while you just relaxed and set the table.

He warned you about her and so did Nat, you thought you had an idea of what to expect, what was to come walking through that door in a few minutes but you’d underestimated Donna Berzatto, oh how you’d underestimated her.

Carmen had just placed the braised lamb dish on the table, while you popped open the bottle of red for the night when the sound of your doorbell continuously being rung alerted the both of you. That wasn’t the only sound however, shouts of “Carmen!” Sounded from the door, along with the banging of a flat palm. Ok so maybe you knew where the night was going to be headed.

Carmen sighed, rubbing your shoulder assuringly before making his way to the front door.

“My baby boy, oh you look tired and pale, why?” You heard her fussing, her voice echoing from the foyer.

“I’m fine Ma s’jus winter.” Carmen mumbles, when finally you see her walk into the dining room. Her blonde hair is curled, red lipstick, smudged eyeliner from what you can only assume was a cry session before she’d gotten here, a bottle of whiskey in hand and long bright red manicured nails.

“Mrs Berzatto, it’s nice to finally meet you.” You hold your hand out to shake hers and she simply looks you up and down before looking to Carmen.

“Would you turn the heat up in here Carmen, I’m freezing.” She exaggerates, before taking a seat at the table, completely dismissing your introduction.

“Ma, she was talkin’ to you, don’t be rude.” Carmy speaks, already becoming frustrated with his mother. She had the audacity to show drunk and disheveled, reeking of whiskey and then act rude towards his girlfriend.

“Didn’t hear her.” She shrugs, making herself at home and reaching for the bottle of wine which she grabs, pouring a generous amount into a glass and chugging.

“It’s fine baby, just turn the heat up, I’ll serve the food.” You brush his arm affectionately. You’d try to remain composed, you’d try not to let her win, after all it was your idea in the end to have her over and you weren’t going to crack easily.

Donna had somehow settled, the three of you eating in awkward silence, the only sound being the scraping of forks and knives and sips of wine, mostly on Donna’s part.

“So Mrs Berzatto, what’ve you been up to recently?” You attempt again at conversation with her.

“Not seeing my son obviously, since you’ve got him cooped up in here, you the reason he doesn’t even bother to call his mother anymore?” She drops her fork against her plate, a loud “clank” ringing throughout the room.

“Ma you know exactly why I haven’t called, stop tryna’ blame her.”

“Oh so now I’m the bad guy for missing my baby boy?” She stands dramatically from her seat, the table shaking slightly. She’s hysterical, tears beginning to stream down her face as she points an accusatory finger at you.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, tryna use my son for his money and steal him away from me.” Her arms are moving wildly and before you know it, the glass of wine had swung off the table, the glass shattering onto the white tile. A large puddle of red, dripping below the table.

“Fuck, shit, fuck I got it” Carmen groans, but you push him to sit back down. You already felt guilty for pressuring him into inviting his mom over, he knew how it would go but you’d been so stubborn.

“It’s fine I’ve got it Carmy.” You try reaching for the pieces of glass while you hear Donna continuing her blabbering rant. You’re so distracted that you don’t even realise the blood that begins to pour from your palm.

“Fuck” you mumble, not wanting to alarm Carmen, however you’re too late.

“See what you fuckin’ made her do ma? Get the fuck out of our house now, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt for her and you treat her like this? Not fuckin’ havin it, we’re done here!” He shouts and his mother is stunned.

“You’re really going to speak to your own mother like that?”

“Yes, and I’m going to show you to the fuckin’ door now”

-

“You sure you okay baby, no more pain?” Carmen asks for what feels like the hundredth time, his lips grazing your bandaged hand.

“I’m sure Carmy, thank you for cleaning me up.” He just smiles at you, resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“Carmen?”

“Hmm?” It comes out muffled, the sensation tickling your neck.

“I’m sorry for pestering you, you were right about her”

“Don’t apologise, you were curious and you deserved to know and see for yourself.”

“I know but I shouldn’t have pressed you, you were just protecting me, and I love you for that.” He removes his face from your neck, kissing you tenderly and whispering a quiet “I love you too”

-

“Can I ask you something?” He questions later while the two of you are in bed, cuddled up under the sheets.

“Anything.” You assure.

“Does this change the way you see me?”

“Never, you’re not your mother Carmy.” And those words are assuring enough to allow him to fall asleep peacefully that night.

#carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen x reader #the bear fic #donna berzatto #reader x carmen berzatto

[moonlight-sonata99]

Walk the line

Trigger warnings: domestic fights,talk about addiction, suicide mentions. Loss. Alot of cussing.

No.1

Mikey

Carmy Berzatto x reader

A/n: I love carmy bro - but yea, this is uh..a passion project, honestly. I haven't wrote in a hot minute. But..I feel confident. Btw. This story will focus alot on addiction, not the Reader specifically, though. But her dad.

Slow burn/angst/comedy

The sounds of furniture falling and glass breaking behind the door as it Slams open and her face is red and her chest rises up and down quickly as the man behind her on the floor his cheek red from the hit he received from his daughter as his wife stands beside shocked, unable to move the only sound was them getting their stuff and leaving before making their way out the door they looks back and points their finger at the man who's cheeks are red his left a bit bloody

"Dont fucking talk to me unless you've been sober for a year. you hear me?" They breathe out as their mom calls out to them as they turn their back to their parents and rush away. Only leaving the cries of their mother and their father left on the floor as the sound of the ambulance gets closer and closer. 

That was a while ago.

Since then, i think i've done well. Maybe. Got a job at some restaurant,the boss is cool. The coolest boss I might have had Honestly. Micheal Berzatto, AKA… Mikey, I've known him about… maybe a few months now? It's been a while since I've been "away" from home, anyways yea. Been working at this cool joint called the beef. Everyone feels like one big friend group. Yeah, it's really nice. I got a nice apartment, too. Well, " nice" is better than any other house that deadbeat ever got us.

 Anyways, yeah. I hope you've been well ma. I sent you money with this. Don't try to send it back. And don't let that asshole see you with it.

I'm doing good, So don't worry.

With much love. 

"Hey,speaking of assholes, what's the big deal with this brother?" You ask, looking down at the piece of onion you were cutting as mikey cooked behind you. 

"Asshole? Ooh you mean my brother carmy? " He replies, keeping his gaze on the meat. 

"yeah"

"Well there's a lot to say about him " he breathes out but a smile can obviously be detected in his voice 

"Well then tell me about him genius" 

"hes not your type " Tina chimes in as the rest laugh,

"Thats not- Okay, maybe that's why i asked. But if you really say so, " you reply, shrugging and putting the knife down and leaving the onions to grilI as - you turned to look at him. But he kept his back to you as he began to speak.

"no yeah- Carm… little brother Carmen. he's a chef in some fancy restaurant, nice right? " He admitted, watching the knife gliding through the meat smoothly.

"for real?" you gasped out looking at his back,

"for fucking real."

Remembering when that had happened. Mikey had a smile on his face when he spoke about his brother. Later on, you learned the two weren't on speaking terms. A part of you cursed yourself out of even having the gall to ask about a slightly  sensitive topic, but another part of yourself felt...good to know at least he didn't hate his brother, Who'd want to hate their own siblings? 

You knew better than to intervene.

It was february 21st, as you gathered your sweater, in the corner of your eye, you noticed Michael sitting in his office looking at a small white envelope. 

"Hey, mikey," you guy, as you knocked lightly before entering his office, and he looked up his eyes, meeting yours.

" hey- " he coughed  " hey whats up? " he said, rubbing his nose with the tips of his fingers. 

" I should be asking you that '' you reply, putting on your bag.' You okay ? You've been… out of it these past few days. '' You say, tilting your head slightly.

"Im good" he mumbles out his hand over his mouth as he nods. 

" Okay … if you ever need anything, just call me. Okay?" 

" Gotcha," he says as you nod and make your way outside.

"hey uh be careful " he yells out as you heal out the door and the leans against his office door frame as you turn your head back to look at him.

" Yeah you too mikey" 

Hey ma, me again. It's been a hot  minute since I sent you a message. in terms of like… talking. i just wanted to check up on you. Make sure everything is okay, y'know? i'll be honest. I haven't been doing so well. if were being honest…  I lost a friend. a good friend. Mikey, he Uh… Comitted  suicide. and i don't know how to feel. Well,I feel sad. I spent… all week crying. 

Yea i have brothers, but Mikey felt like the brother I never had.

due to moving so much as a kid, i didn't have any friends.

no girlfriends, boyfriends.

i didn't want any if i'm honest.

but Mikey changed that.In terms of friendship I mean.

i remember when i first met him, i was about to blow him off because he was pestering me about his  restaurant. i mean, i was working for Petes sake. But he was loud,

and i gave in.

after that he let me into his family, albeit made of people working in a restaurant.

you know that thing when Companies say their employees are family and it's usually bullshit??

Yea,Mikey always meant that shit. 

 

Ritchie told me his brothers were coming to take over. I'm not sure how to feel about it . The asshole didn't even come his funeral. Anyway, yeah, that what has been up with me. Sorry for suddenly dumping all of this on you.

i lost a good friend. 

A/n: I really like writing for this series, honestly. Please tell me if you guys want more :]

#the bear #the bear x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #carmy x reader #carmy x you

[atinylittlepain]

Oh Baby - A Carmy Berzatto Story

dad!carmen berzatto x f!reader

carmy masterlist

a small family, a new family, trying to figure this thing out.

warnings | 18+ angst surrounding being new parents, work stress, but enough fluff to make up for it, i promise

a/n | this sweet little piece comes from a lovely request sent to me over DM, thank you so much for sending this my way, i hope i've done it justice. Also have to thank the cousins @tieronecrush and @northernbluess for reading this bad boy and letting me scream about the bear, love ya both

........................

He’s running late. It started with a question from Sydney about one of the new menu items, and then it was Sugar needing to show him a quote for some inspection they still need to get done. And then there was something with one of the new chefs, though he can’t really remember what it was right now as his brain fries with how late he is. 

He told her he’d be home by midnight at the latest, finish dinner service and get his ass home immediately. He had even made a joke about getting home just in time to give their girl her seemingly routine middle of the night bottle. But it’s now two in the morning and he’s only just getting on the L to get back to their apartment. 

It’s not like he has a hard time with the late nights. In fact, he always thrived on this chaotic rhythm. But he knows it’s not doing her or their girl any good. Getting home and crashing in bed, useless until ten in the morning, no help with breakfast or getting their girl dressed and ready for the day, shuffling into the living room to find her already working at her desk, her foot keeping a steady rock to the bassinet right next to it. A few days ago, the fleeting thought that she looked like a single mother, and then an immediate clench and clash of pain sliding through his chest. It’s the same feeling he has right now on the train, building and beating until he has to put his palm right over the hurt, like he might be able to press it out with the heel of his hand. 

He could slow down, everyone at the restaurant has offered that up to him. Shorter shifts, only there when he’s really needed, whole days off. So he doesn’t know why he can’t just accept that, why he’s still holding onto the restaurant with white knuckles. And right now, he’s too tired to give it much thought beyond how badly he wants things to be different. No more disappointed sighs, no more ships in the night, no more making promises only to break them. 

He’s only a little surprised when he walks into their apartment that the light in the kitchen is on, her light murmurings filtering through, enough to make that hurt even worse. He finds them standing in front of the microwave, waiting for a bottle to be warmed up, and for a moment, what a sight it is. She’s wearing an old The Beef t-shirt, legs bare and set in a slow shuffle side-to-side, her cheek pressed over the top of their girl’s head where she’s held in her arms, eyes dropped shut. A small smile that slides away when her eyes crack open to see him standing in the doorway. 

“You’re home.” It’s barely rasped on a whisper, a small frown pulling down each word. He considers for a moment that he’d really like for the ground to swallow him up right about now. 

“I’m sorry, baby, I–” His words crack when their girl starts to fuss, small coos and whimpers, tiny fists balled and pressing against her mom’s chest to arch her back away from her hold. And there it is, that sigh, that small collapse of her shoulders as she gets the bottle out of the microwave, no longer looking at him, brushing right past him to go sit down in the living room. He follows on her heels with all the timidity of a scolded dog. 

“I can do it, if you wanna go lay back down. It’s– I’d like–” 

“I can do it, Carmen.” Still not looking at him, her eyes focused on their girl, finger skating down the rounding of her cheek as she latches onto the bottle. He knows it’s one of the ways she tries to even the score with him, a petty thing to not let him partake in or watch this small wonder. When she was first born, and she was still breast-feeding, and he was still on a Sugar-mandated paternity leave, he’d hover endlessly. Just over her shoulder, watching the way their girl's hand splayed over her sternum like a perfect flower as she latched on, whispering in awe at her contented sighs and eager gulps. Always dropping a kiss to her temple, small words of love and gratitude, her chin tilting up, basking in them, warmth in the way she would look up at him. 

But now, now she’s looking at him with all of the kindness of a prison inmate, eyes blank and jaw set as she cups the back of their girl’s head, smoothing out the mass of curls already growing, just like his. For a moment, only fleeting, anger starts to rise like bile up the back of his throat. Anger that he’s here now, wanting so badly to be here now, and she’s the one boxing him out. But that anger is gone in a blink because he can see the way her eyes are starting to swim, red-rimmed and heavy down her cheeks. And he can see the way her lip is starting to tremble too, even as she coos and hums to their girl when she starts to fuss with the bottle. He can’t be angry when she’s hurting like that, when he’s the one who has made her hurt like that. 

He kneels down in front of where she’s sitting on the couch, a small relief that she doesn't flinch away when his palms come to rest on her knees. He can tell that she’s trying not to break, little sniffs to hold back the flood as their girl continues to suckle. 

“I don’t want it to be like this.” 

“Neither do I, Carm.” Said on a sigh, like, sure, nice words, not expecting anything to come of them though. 

“Tell me what I can do to make this different.” 

“I’m dumbfounded by the fact that you’re asking me to tell you what to do. Do you really not know?” Quick and clipped, still whispered so that it doesn’t disturb their girl as she finishes her bottle. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to arrange the right words to respond.

“You’re right.” The best that he can come up with at two in the morning, though at least it’s the truth. She just sighs though, shaking his hands off her knees so that she can stand up. And this hurts too, how easily she can do this by herself, or at least how easy she makes it look, transferring their girl to one arm as she pads back into the kitchen. A little more space between them as he follows behind her, watching how she holds the bottle against her hip to get the top screwed off, rocking and shushing their girl all the while as she soaps up the bottle. 

“Baby, let me do that. I can, here, just let me–”

“Goddamnit, Carm.” Still whispered, but still sharp, enough for their girl to let out a whine at her sudden exclamation, though she’s quick to soothe and calm against her shoulder. 

“Do you want to know why I don’t let you help? It’s because I’m trying to get used to doing this on my own.” 

“What?” It feels like the floor has dropped out from under him, a skittering, sickening feeling running up and down his spine. He wants more than anything to reach for her, for both of them, to thumb away the tears that are starting to fall even as she tries to steel her jaw. All he can do to ball his hands into fists over and over.

“You’re not here, Carmen. And when you are, it’s like– it’s like I’m living with a stranger. You told me before we had her that you would be here, that things at the restaurant were going to change. And I’m getting tired of waiting for that to happen.” 

“What are you saying right now?” She scrunches her eyes shut for a moment, pure frustration, and complete exhaustion, all the while still rocking their girl. 

“I’m saying that if this is how it’s going to be, I don’t know if I can keep doing this with you. My sister–”

“No.”

“Carm–”

“No. That isn’t– that’s not– you can’t just take her from me like that. We– we said we would do this together.”

“We already aren’t doing this together, Carm. And I’m just– I’m tired.” There isn’t any more to say, not now. She doesn’t look at him again, brushing past him through the doorway of the kitchen to get to the nursery down the hall. He doesn’t try to follow, numbly shuffling back to the couch, a full body slump, tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose when the tears start to prickle. He listens to all the small sounds, stealing snippets of her humming, the quiet padding of her bare feet into their bedroom, the rustling of sheets. And then perfect silence, except for the broken exhales he keeps trying to stifle. 

…

Sleep happens, somehow. Curled onto his side on the couch, but not for long, the watery blue glint of dawn slanting in through the blinds when he’s woken up to the sound of their girl’s quiet babblings. The nursery is closer to the living room, so he’s almost certain she hasn’t been woken up by the sound yet. But he also knows that those soft coos will soon turn into full-blown wails, so he gets up, biting back a groan as his spine shifts and crackles upright before stumbling into the nursery.

Everyone seems to call their girl something different. She calls her bean, or sometimes pearl, any iteration of small, precious things, usually with a my in front of the word. Richie calls her cub, or cubby, a fitting choice given her father’s nickname. Sugar calls her curl because of that head of hair she’s already grown into. Sydney calls her miso baby, though it all comes out as one word like misobaby, on account of the cravings for broth and noodles her mother incurred while she was pregnant with her, something that Sydney was always happy to accommodate whenever she stopped by the restaurant. Carmy’s is less creative, he thinks, the first word he remembers coming to mind when he first held her in his arms, somewhere between wonder and utterly sweet devastation at the sight. 

“Hey, little, what’s going on in here?” It always shocks him, how light his whole world is when he picks her up in his arms, and how easily her cheek settles against his chest, his palm smoothing the small shake of her cries between the fragile wings of her shoulder blades. He remembers being terrified the first time he held her, that he’d somehow manage to ruin this most perfect thing. Laying in her hospital bed, watching, she reassured him that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t, that perfect came from him just as much as it came from her. 

“It’s breakfast time, isn’t it? We’re gonna let your mom sleep in, okay? I’ve got it.” He drops his lips to the crown of her head, taking a long breath in as he shuffles out to the kitchen. And he does have it under control, after all, he knows how to follow a recipe. 

He keeps her close in one arm, only fumbling a little with the one-handed bottle into the microwave production, but he manages. And then onto the couch and honestly, he thinks it’s a little holy, it certainly feels that way. Watching her eyes slip shut in contentment as she drinks from the bottle, her tiny gasp and sigh when she’s all done. How could anything ever be as good as this? He doesn’t think it’s possible.

“Think we oughta make breakfast for your mom, huh? You wanna help?” She gurgles over his shoulder as he finishes burping her. He’ll take that as a yes. He maneuvers her high chair into the doorway of the kitchen with about as much grace as his one-handed abilities will allow him, trying hard to stay silent, peering down the hall to make sure she hasn’t woken up yet. Coast clear, he settles their girl into the high chair and gets to work. 

There’s a slightly old half of a loaf of brioche on the counter, something he brought home a few days ago, one of Marcus’ new projects. Eggs and milk in the fridge, so his plan is already forming. 

“You know, when I first met your mom– you’re a little too young for the details, but– the morning after, I made her french toast. I think it got me a second date.” He whisks up the eggs and milk quick, a pinch of cinnamon like he knows how she likes it. 

“I think for a while she was just coming back for the french toast. But I didn’t care, I was just happy that she kept coming back.” Butter melting deep and golden in the pan, and then the silent sizzle and snap of the battered slices of bread frying up perfect. He glances over to their girl in between checking on the bread in the pan.

“You weren’t done, were you, little? I’m sorry, I got you.” A little spit-up down the front of her onesie. He stretches between the stove and her high chair to dab it up with a clean dish towel, not even trying to resist the want to press a kiss to her forehead, earning him an exasperated gurgle from her.

“Already too cool for me, huh?” She smiles, showing off the two new teeth that have only started to come in. He doesn’t think he’s ready for any more teeth to start coming in yet.

He’s just plating up the first few slices when his ears prick to the sound of stirring, what sounds like a stretch groaning in her chest from down the hall. Bare feet padding, stopping at the nursery, he’s sure, and then coming closer, his heart starting to kick up in anticipation. 

“Good morning, my bean.” He can hear the kiss she drops to their girl’s cheek, and he chances a glance over to see her bending over the back of the high chair to nuzzle her face into their girl’s, contented giggles bubbling up in her small chest at her mother’s ministrations. His heart stutters stop for a moment before the gears start to turn again in a much better rhythm. But too long of a glance because–

“Oh shit.” The smell of singe, one of the slices burnt up and unsalvageable. He’s quick to scrape it out of the pan. Still plenty to make this right, okay, not perfect though. He was going for perfect.

“What’s all this?” She’s being quiet, not looking at him as she gathers their girl out of the high chair and into her arms, a small sway side to side. 

“I, um, breakfast– you hungry?” 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. Go sit, I’ll get it.” 

“Did she–”

“Yeah, I fed her.” She’s finally looking at him, bewilderment rounding and widening her eyes, though she quietly nods and shuffles through the kitchen. A soft graze past him and toward the small dining table they have set up in front of the windows, now letting in the first honeyed light of the morning. 

Two slices, steam still rising and melting down a sliver of butter. Syrup on the side because she doesn’t like it to get soggy. And a plate for himself too because he knows she’ll tell him to eat, even as mad at him as she is now. 

She keeps their girl in her lap, her arm curled around the soft round of her belly to hold her upright, and he can’t help but smile, sitting down across from them. A small sigh with her first bite and it feels like the greatest relief, something slackening beneath his ribs. 

“I didn’t play fair last night. I’m sorry, Carm.” Always beating him to the punch, he hates that she’s apologizing.

“No, you were right. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m gonna make some changes, okay?” She sighs, her lashes dropped to the tops of her cheeks, not buying it. And he doesn’t blame her, he’s talked about changes in the past. Though the changes have yet to happen. 

“Baby, I’m serious. I’m gonna talk to Sugar today and get this figured out. Not gonna keep messing this up.” 

“You aren’t messing up, Carmen. I know how important that restaurant is to you. And maybe it’s selfish, but I just want you here more, with us. You’re missing so much, and I don’t want that for you.” Their girl chooses that moment to start to squirm in her hold, pressing the dough of her palms into the edge of the table to stand up in her mother’s lap, turning around and wrapping her small arms around her mother’s neck, making a smile get big and bright on her face as she smacks a string of kisses on her cheek, a quiet thank you, my bean. Missing things like this, he thinks. His heart aches with it. 

“Nothing is more important than this. I think when she came– I was just like– holy shit, you know?” Her smile tempers, settling on him as she continues to accommodate the squirms and shuffling of their girl in her lap. 

“Yeah, I’m familiar with that feeling.” 

“This isn’t an excuse, I know it isn’t. But, I don’t know, I think I believed that if I could just work harder, make sure the restaurant was good and money was coming in that– that it’d somehow make me feel less terrified.”

“Terrified?” 

“Of getting this all wrong. I just– Jesus Christ, I want everything for her.” There’s more he’d like to say, but he cuts himself off with a resigned laugh, holding his head in his hand as he watches their girl twist around in her mother’s arms again, looking at him now like somehow she knows he’s talking about her. And then a small hand reaching out across the table. Small hand reaching for him.

She gets up with a sigh, rounding the edge of the table, an easy pass-off, their girl’s hands grasping at his t-shirt, the same one he came home in last night. He holds her close, taking another deep inhale of the crown of her head before looking up at her mom. Her mom, his woman, his partner, who carefully runs her fingers back through his mussed hair, nails scratching lightly at his scalp. 

“There are so many people also working to make sure that restaurant is good, Carm, and it is. But I– we need you here, we just do.” Her palm slips down along his cheek, and he turns his head to press a kiss to the center of it. A much smaller hand tugs at his curls to get his attention, making him laugh as he drops a kiss to their girl’s temple. 

“You’re right. This is where I need to be. I don’t want you having to do this on your own anymore.” He gets up with a sigh, hiking their girl onto his hip, reaching out for her with his other arm, his fingers curling behind the nape of her neck, a small coaxing that she allows, pressing her forehead against his.

“We’re gonna do this together, alright? I’m here, and I’m gonna figure out how to keep being here.” An answer in the way her nose brushes along the side of his, an okay. And the realization that he can’t remember the last time they were this close is enough to bridge what space is left between them, more of a sigh than a kiss, but he’ll take it. Quick to be interrupted by quiet fussing and a small fist pressing against his cheek, both of them pulling away with a laugh to look at their seemingly perturbed girl. 

“I think we’ve made a small monster.” She says it absolutely dripping in affection, her hand coming to brush their girl’s sleep-tufted hair back from her face. 

“Maybe, yeah. She’s still fucking perfect though.” He snakes his arm around her waist, pulling her close so their girl is half-sandwiched between them, eyes wide as she babbles up at them both.

“We have to stop saying fuck around her, Carm. It’s gonna end up being her first word.” 

“She’ll fit right in at the restaurant that way.” 

A small family, a new family, figuring it out in their sun-soaked kitchen. Tired eyes and bare feet and quiet laughs. And there’s going to be more messing up, he already knows that. Both him and her. Passing sorry back and forth, willing and receiving. But this is enough to make it right, to keep going. This can be perfect. 

#carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto angst #carmy berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fic #the bear fanfiction #the bear fic

[thebearer]

i can’t imagine the rage carmy would have if donna ever said anything about you, or even if you were pregnant or just had the baby, and she was like “i was already back to work” or something to make you feel bad about yourself as a new mom

the rage. oh, the rage. he would lose it, absolutely lose it. the second your face fell, especially if you were having some postpartum depression or just overall anxieties? he's going for blood.

"yeah, and that turned out great, right? mother of the year? your son fuckin' shot and killed himself, ma." carmen would sneer, already grabbing teddy's stuff, a gentle hand ushering the two of you away while he's tearing into her.

"a great fuckin' mom. you-you fuckin' wish you could care about a kid the way she does, alright? you didn't give a shit about any of us."

"carmen anthony, that is not true-"

"-oh? you're still downing, what, four bottles a day? you chose that shit over any of us every fuckin' day, and you're gonna say somethin' about my wife?"

you're pulling him out, trying to get him to calm down. it doesn't help your stress, your guilt, but you do appreciate him standing up for you.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #donna berzatto #dorothea “teddy” berzatto

[thebearer]

feeling angsty, so i was thinking of if you and carmen were bickering, and you’re like “i’m sorry carmen, i’m exhausted” and he bites back with a “tired from what? you’re home all day with the baby” and as soon as it leaves his mouth he instantly regrets it

you forgot to wash his chef pants or something, so now he's having to quick wash them. bitching about having to get up at midnight and put them in the dryer. he's just frustrated from the day, about tomorrow, everything.

"i'll stay up and get them, carm. i'm sorry." you feel awful about it, really, you do. he'd been working so hard and you'd just gotten busy with teddy, completely forgot about the pants.

"no, no, i got it." carmen huffs, slamming the washer door shut. you cringe, hoping it doesn't wake teddy.

"i'm sorry. i was exhausted, carm-"

"-exhausted from what?" carmen sneers. "i'm the one who has to go to work all fuckin' day. you just stay here and can't do anything."

and the second he says it, hears the hitch in your breath, he knows. oh he knows he's fucked up.

you're hiding your tears, swallowing back sobs, stomping to the bedroom. carmen's following you, trying to apologize, sway you.

he sleeps on the couch that night. well, sleep is generous. he lays there until his pants are done, furious at himself. around two am teddy cries, her sobs never quieting and he takes his chance.

"i got her." he mutters, reaching for teddy from your arms.

"no." you huff, pulling her closer to you. "i got it. you go sleep since you have to work tomorrow. i'll stay up, i've got nothing better to do all day tomorrow. i do nothing around here, right?"

he feels so guilty because he didn't mean it, really he didn't. he was stressed and that was the final straw. it was mean, made him feel like his dad, how he used to pick and take jabs at his mom until she'd scream back, lose her shit on him.

"no, c'mon. i-i didn't mean that, you know i didn't mean that." carmen's chest tightens. "i shouldn't've said that to you. i know you do-fuck, you do more than i do, and i-i know that. i'm just... it doesn't matter, ok? i'm sorry. i know you're tired and i should be here to help you more and i'm sorry that i'm not."

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #carmen berzatto angst #dorothea “teddy” berzatto

[thebearer]

dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader masterlist

featuring: you, carmy, and your babies teddy and willow

the official masterlist of blurbs since i've gotten so many requests, i'll put them all in one place!!!

protective dad!carmen with pregnant!reader

baby affirmations with dad!carmen

dad!carmen and picky baby teddy bear blurb

dad!carmen bringing baby teddy to the restaurant

dilf!carmen and milf!reader date night car sex smut

dad!carmen and baby teddy throwing food

carmen fucking a baby in you smut

dad!carmen left with teddy (ft. tina to the rescue lol)

teddy's play kitchen

frustrated dad!carmen yelling at teddy angst

pregnant!reader is hormonal and emotional ft carmen and teddy

teddy meeting willow very short blurb

you go into labor with willow

cute baby teddy walking to meet you with carmen

fighting and waking baby teddy up angst blurb

teddy's first holidays blurb

going into labor with teddy

gender reveal cake made by marcus

teddy's christening

teddy meeting willow for the first time short blurb

sydney watching willow

pregnancy sickness angsty-ish blurb

donna showing up to see teddy

dad!carmen is busy and teddy doesn't recognize him blurb

teenage teddy sneaking out

sick willow and teddy

riding dilf carm on the couch short blurb

convincing carm for baby number two smut

teddy calling you the pet name carmen calls you

pregnant!reader with protective carmen at the restaurant

accident prone willow blurb

willow and teddy mirroring carm and mikey

post vasectomy carmen

pre-teen teddy

carmen quitting smoking

comforting willow through a nightmare

#dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader #dilf!carmen berzatto #thebearer #carmen berzatto #masterlist #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fic #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #thebearerblurbs #bearblahs #carmy smut #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fluff #the bear fx #dorothea “teddy” berzatto

[thebearer]

wait, carm accidentally snapping at teddy. maybe she’s extra clingy to you guys after willow is born and she’s been passed between sugar and richie for the past few days and she’s like “stay with you dada” and she’s crying and not putting on her shoes or something. and he’s like “Dammit Dorothea, you need to listen” and she’s screaming even more

"Teddy, please." Carmen huffed, he was balancing a clinging toddler that only wanted to climb his legs, be held and cradled all the time. He knew it was because Willow was being held all the time, the three year old didn't comprehend that babies had to be held. She just knew that she wasn't being held, and there was a tiny flare of jealousy with that.

"Up!" Teddy huffed, foot stomping on the ground. Little ballet shoes against the hardwood. Carmen had managed to wrangle her into the tights and leotard before they had to leave for her Twinkle Toes Class, but his patience was gone.

Willow had started to whimper, waking up and hungry, lips smacking and face scrunching in irritation. Carmen cursed, turning to coo at the baby. "It's alright, Wills. C'mere, sweet girl." He cradled the baby, Teddy scowling at him at the lack of attention.

Carmen fished the bottle out of the fridge, bouncing the baby while he put it in the bottle warmer. You were in the shower. He wanted to give you a moment of peace, to be able to shower for the day. You were only a month and a half postpartum, still balancing trying to heal, be a mother of two, and sleep and eat somewhere in the middle. Carmen was great, he was, always trying to stretch himself thin for you, for the girls, for the restaurant.

"Daddy," Teddy huffed, tiny lips pouting- she looked just like you. Carmen would have melted if he wasn't so frazzled already.

"What, Teddy?" Carmen huffed back, a short breath leaving his nostrils, shushing Willow's tiny gummy cries.

"Daddy!" Teddy screamed, her voice teetering from a whine to a cry- on the cusps of a breakdown.

"Dorothea," Carmen snapped, eyes cutting to her. "Don't start."

That only made Teddy cry, a wail of a cry that had your ears perking, drying off in your bathroom down the hall. Slipping on your shorts, Carmen's shirt, you padded down to the kitchen, stopping at the entrance at the sight.

Teddy was on the ground, plopped down, red faced with fury and wailing, tears streaming down her tiny cheeks. Willow decided to join her sister, a much softer cry than the three year old, but the pitiful baby gasp cry that always had your heart splitting- your boobs leaking instinctively.

Carmen looked beyond frustrated, brows furrowed, eyes darting from Teddy to Willow to the bottle, all around the kitchen. His chest heaving, teeth grit.

"Dorothea! Enough! Ok? Enough! Stop crying and go sit by the door!" Carmen roared, vein protruding out of his neck when he looked down at her.

Teddy stilled, a hiccuping, fearful gasp, looking back up at Carmen with rounded, teary eyes. Her lip wobbled, chest stuttering- Carmen never yelled at her. You gawked at him, stunned from the doorway.

"Carmen," You hissed, mouth fallen in shock.

Carmen's eyes were wide- with realization or being caught, you weren't sure. At that point, you didn't care. You knew he was on the brink of lashing out, his hands shaking and mouth stuttering. Teddy ran towards you, barreling into your legs, rubbing her wet face into your legs with loud sobs that racked her whole body. Willow wailed, jostled, upset, and still hungry.

Carmen's heart was going a million miles a minute, he felt like he might go into cardiac arrest, head spinning and stomach lurching. Your face- fuck, Teddy's face. The way her little face fell with fear. Carmen could feel spit filling his mouth, bile rising.

"I-I-"

"Step out." You grit, stern and a little hurt. Carmen wanted to sob.

"No, just let me-"

"Carmen." You snapped, hoisting a still sobbing Teddy on your hip, cradling her head into your neck. "Step out. Now."

Carmen's hands shook, putting Willow on the nursing pillow on the couch, grabbing the bottle to hand to you, eyes already brimming with tears- angry, hurt, frustrated, furious with himself. "Teddy, please, I-I didn't mean-"

"Carmen." You voice was softer this time, eyes still hard. "You need to cool down, so do we. Step out. Go on a walk."

Carmen knew you were right, stepping out of the house. He stepped onto the busy neighborhood street, seeing happy couples with their babies in strollers, dads running after their toddlers, holding them on their shoulders. Carmen felt his stomach turn, pivoting to the bushes and throwing up.

Four cigarettes and a blubbering call to Richie later, Carmen came back in. Red rimmed eyes, running nose, but there was no crying. Teddy sniffled besides you, lying on your lap while you burped Willow, her body still stuttering with tears. Carmen tilted his head back, trying to keep his own emotions in.

You turned your head, tracking him as he came over to the couch. Your own heart broke, seeing him like that. You knew Carmen was a good dad, you would never had kids with him if he wouldn't. It was an adjustment for him too. It was easier for you, you carried them, birthed them, spent all your time with them, but you still had your moments. Moments where you locked yourself in the bathroom to cry while Teddy screamed and Willow sobbed, when you wanted to pull your hair out and scream too, but you couldn't.

"Teddy Bear," Carmen cooed lightly, catching her attention. He tried to choke back the sob that clawed out of his throat when she whimpered, a pitiful sniffle, curling into your lap.

You ran a soothing hand down her hair, watching them carefully. Carmen crouched in front of her, eye to eye. "Teddy, I-I'm sorry I yelled." Carmen shuddered. "I should not have ever yelled at you like that. That was very mean of me."

"Yeah." Teddy agreed, sniffling into your leg, face still half concealed. "You hurted my heart."

You watched Carmen's face crumble, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder lightly. He ran a hand down his face, hiding behind it, while he tried to regain his composure. "I know." Carmen nodded, clearing his throat lightly. "That wasn't good of me to do, at all. And I'm very sorry."

Teddy hesitated for a moment, turning up to you. "Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy yell when we're hurt too. When our brains hurt." You explained simply. "That's not ok, but just like you yell, we yell too. And we shouldn't. Should we?"

"No." Teddy agreed, pushing up on your thigh. You tried not to groan at the tiny hands prodding into your flesh. "Not 'sposed to yell at friends." She looked at Carmen pointedly, repeating some Ms. Rachel or Sesame Street episode.

"You're right, Teddy." Carmen nodded, running a hand down her cheek gently, chest loosening when she didn't flinch or pull back. "I'm very sorry, baby."

You gave Teddy a look, soft but pointed. She was stubborn, a terrible trait she inherited from Carmen, and even at three, she was his carbon copy. "What do you say, hm?" You said softly.

"'s ok." Teddy sighed heavy, dramatic. You fought an eye roll, catching Carmen's tiny smile.

"Can I have a hug?" Carmen asked, arms stretching out, nearly falling back when she launched herself in them. The little shit, Carmen thought, but he held her close, rocking her longer than he should have.

He looked over her head at you, your soft smile while you rocked Willow in your arms. "We're gonna be a little late for dance." Carmen looked at the clock. "Do you still want to go today, Teddy, or-"

"Yes!" Teddy squealed, squirming out of his arms and bounding towards the door.

Carmen stood, leaning over to kiss you, sweet, an apology. You let his forehead rest against yours. his hand on Willow's back, grounding himself for a moment. He needed it, needed it to feel forgiven for himself.

You stood, watching them leave out the door. "You need anything?" Carmen asked, patting his pockets for his wallet and keys.

You shook your head. "No. Have fun, Teddy. Dance pretty. Point your toes." You cooed.

Teddy spun for you, dramatic and nearly walloping Carmen's crotch which made you laugh, his eyes bulging and nearly missing the hit. "Be back later. Text me if you need anything." Carmen muttered, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"Daddy, can we get ice cream after?" Teddy asked, spinning around Carmen's hand down the cobbled steps.

"Carmen." You warned, eyeing him. You knew he'd give in. He always did.

"We'll see. If you dance good, then we might get yogurt." Carmen responded, winking at you before shutting the door.

You pretended to be irritated, huffing at him lightly when Teddy came home with chocolate around her mouth, a dribble on her leotard, but even then you couldn't be too mad. She had him wrapped around her finger, all his girls did.

#thebearer #carmen berzatto #bearblahs #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fic #thebearerblurbs #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dad!carmen berzatto #dilf!carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader #dorothea “teddy” berzatto #willow natalia berzatto #the bear fx #carmy the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear #the bear hulu

[thebearer]

thinking of teddy being like 2 and she’s just so excited about anything and everything, so you do a countdown for anchivys birthday and she is like “happy for chovy dada?” every time she changes the number that’s closer to his birthday

i haven't done a blurb in so long <3 let's do one.

"Chovy?" Teddy chirps, bright eyes shining up at you, hands thrown out exaggeratedly in question- a trait Carmen swore came from you. "T'day? Chovy, t'day?"

"Not today, Teddy Bear." You cooed, sweeping the remnants of her snack into the trash.

At two years old, the world was exciting. Full of so many fun things, at the top of them, birthdays. Carmen's birthday was the first time Teddy really understood what was going on, the first time she really wanted one of her own.

Since then, she was convinced everyday was a birthday, babbling "bir'day, bir'day" around the house until you and Carmen were sure you were going to rip your hair out. Anchovy's birthday was close, the next closest, so you started a countdown for her. Thinking it would curb the constant asking- it did not.

"No?" Teddy's eyes rounded, dropping into an achingly sad look that had your own heart breaking. "No Chovy?"

"No, not today." You hummed, shaking your head. "But close." You chirped, grinning, hoping it would stop the tears you could feel coming from her.

Teddy perked, brows still furrowed in a sullen expression that was all Berzatto, entirely inherited from Carmen. "No bir'day?" Teddy sighed, demeanor switched.

"No, not today, baby." You sighed, scooping her up on your hip. "But, let's go see Daddy how many days we have left?"

A trip to the craft store, spending the entirety of Teddy's nap time one day, you'd made a make shift sort of advent calendar that counted down to the big day. A printed picture of Anchovy from his last birthday, sitting in front of a cake awkwardly.

Carmen had insisted it go in his office, heart swelling when he saw it first. Teddy babbling away excitedly about it, bouncing on her toes. It was positively adorable. Made Carmen's insides burn with a feeling he hadn't known before you. You were a good mom.

"Daddy," You called playfully, swallowing down a grin. He didn't fluster the way he had when you started with Anchovy.

"Yeah?" Carmen muttered, turning in his chair, eyes lighting when he saw both of you. "Oh? Is it my two favorite girls?" He grinned, putting the pencil down in front of him.

"We wanted to ask you something." You put a squirming Teddy on the ground, stifling a laugh when she bolted towards Carmen.

"Yeah? What's up?" Carmen groaned dramatically, lifting Teddy into his lap.

"Chovy bir'day?" Teddy threw her hands out again, turning them up in question to Carmen. You watched him melt right in front of you, a wide smile that still had your heart burning.

"How many more days until Anchovy's birthday?" You nodded.

"How many more days? Hm, let's see." Carmen turned towards the bright poster board pinned behind him. He'd hung it up on his own, proudly.

"You wanna count with me? Let's see how many days. Alright, we're right here, so..." Carmen hugged Teddy close. "One... Two..." He counted slowly, her little chirp of a voice echoing his.

You leaned forward, watching him adoringly. You were definitely bringing up the possibility of baby number two tonight after Teddy went to bed.

"Eight." Carmen nodded, looking down at Teddy. "So how many more days?"

She turned towards him, brows furrowed in thought. "No?"

"No," Carmen laughed. "You're tryna trick me? Hm, are you tryna trick me?" He grinned playfully, tickling her sides so she screeched in laughter.

"No! I no twick!" Teddy giggled loudly.

"So how many more days?" Carmen asked, pressing a kiss into her cheek. "Hm? How many did we count?"

"Eight."

"That's right." You nodded, clapping softly for her. "You're so smart. Such a good counter."

Teddy beamed, hugging Carmen tightly, pressing her face into his neck. "But tonight, you can mark it off and you'll only have seven." He told her, a hand running over her curls gently.

Anchovy slinked in, sliding between your legs as if on cue. You leaned down to pet him gently, scratching behind his ears. Teddy squealed in delight, squirming to get off of Carmen's lap to chase after him.

You watched Anchovy skitter, jump onto Carmen's desk and dash away while Teddy tried to chase him. "Did you tell Marcus to make the cake?" You sighed, sinking into Carmen's lap.

His head pressed to your shoulder, leaving a kiss on the skin there. "Yeah, he's got it. Just need to go to the store. I'll get some of those, the, uh, the streamer things? Think she'll like if we hang those up."

"Anchovy will too," You snorted lightly. "Claw them down like he did my birthday that one time." A memory from years before, another life time it felt like. Before you were married, before you had Teddy, when you and Carmen were still a little careless, care free.

"Yeah, maybe not then?" Carmen hummed.

"No, I think it'll be cute." You grin. "Teddy will love it."

#thebearer #bearblahs #thebearerblurbs #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #carmen berzatto ​x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x female!reader #anchovy berzatto #dorothea “teddy” berzatto #carmy fluff #carmy berzatto fluff #the bear fx #the bear fic

[thebearer]

i had a dream that i was riding Carmy just shaking and moaning above him then he pulled me down by my throat and said “gotta be quiet sweetheart don’t wanna wake the kids” and IT FELT SO REAL😭

dilf!carmen is gonna do it for me every damn time. smut ahead minors dni 18+

seriously, just imagining it's late. the girls have finally gone down to bed. teddy was being exceptionally difficult tonight, and you weren't sure why, but after two bedtime stories- they finally were asleep.

intimate time like this with carmen was rare. you both had young children, busy schedules, very little time to be intimate the way you wanted to be. quick, stolen kisses against the counter; quickies that were rushed with fumbling hands while the girls napped; and the occasional morning head that was always cut way too short when the baby monitor screeched or bare feet padded down the hall.

but tonight, you and carmen had time. you weren't tired, collapsing on top of each other before he made it to second base. the girls were asleep, and the two of you were insatiable.

you'd been on top of carmen, riding him on the couch slowly, a little lazy. you'd sit down, hips rocking back and forth slooowwwwly to feel him- really feel him. you'd missed mornings like this.

"easy, baby." carmen muttered, a grunt of a request, hands sinking into your hips. "gotta be- fuck- gotta be quiet f'me."

"carm, don't move. don't move, lemme just..." your whimpers were muffled by his hand, rough and calloused closing over your mouth.

"told you to be quiet. gonna wake 'em up." carmen huffed, his hand snaking lightly down your throat, one hand pressed to your spine, flipping the two of you so he was on top. your legs over his shoulders, fingers shoved in your mouth to keep you quiet while he pounded you out on the couch.

#thebearer #dilf!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dad!carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto smut #carmy smut #bearblahs #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x female!reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmy x reader #carmy x you #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fx #carmen berzatto blurb #thebearerblurbs

[thebearer]

had this thought of being in your first trimester while pregnant with teddy, and you’re so sick you can barely hold down saltine cracker. and one day at family he’s trying to get you to eat and you’re like “no i literally can’t” and he snaps at you in front of everyone

"C'mon, just try a little bite." Carmen coaxes, what was supposed to be a soothing tone was falling short, that snip in his tone was fueled with irritation.

"Carmen," You moaned lightly, your stomach lurching at the thought.

The smell of the kitchen was enough to make you nauseous, walking through only for a moment before you felt ill. Normally, your mouth salivated at the smells, tummy rumbling at the promise of the family meal.

That changed quickly after you found out you were pregnant. Only a few weeks, but your symptoms were coming in stronger each day. Hormonal acne that was angry and hurt to the touch decorating your jaw and chin, fatigue that washed over you in waves so strong it left your head spinning, and morning sickness. Well, morning was generous seeing as it followed you throughout the day. Your sense of smell was more sensitive, as was your stomach, and that combo was far from ideal. You'd smelled cilantro when you walked in and had to run to the bathroom.

Carmen understood, he did, but your recent hunger strike of sorts because of your stomach was making him beyond nervous. He'd looked up all the important, nutrient rich foods for you, insistent that you eat them.

And you would, if you could. If it didn't come shooting back up twenty minutes later.

"You gotta eat." Carmen frowned at you. "You can't starve yourself. Starve the baby."

"Carm, I'm not starving myself or the baby." You snapped, low and under your breath. "I'm gonna throw up if I eat it, ok? My stomach is fucked."

"Probably because you haven't eaten anything." Carmen glared at you, nodding towards the loaded bagel sandwich in front of you. "C'mon."

"Carmen, the thought of eating that right now is making me already gag." You muttered, holding a hand to your mouth, trying to swallow the spit already pooling in. "I'm not eating that."

"Baby, you have to-"

"-Carm, I will later, but I can't right now. I just threw up." You whined. There came the surge of emotions, raging and wild, the annoyance masked with frustration and tears.

"Eat. I'm not playin' with you anymore." Carmen's tone was harsh, cutting and firm, loud enough to bring the attention of the table towards the two of you.

Your lip wobbled, stomach twisting now with the humiliation of tears as well. You shoved your seat out, stomping towards the bathroom with burning tears. The table was silent, looking at Carmen.

Tina glared at him. "The fuck's the matter with you, Jeff?" She huffed, already standing to check on you.

"I-I'm just... She's not eating. And-And it's bad for the baby-"

"Carmen, really?" Sugar huffed, rolling her eyes. "You're so stupid."

"I gotta agree with Sug on this one." Richie quipped, nodding before shoveling the pasta in his mouth. "You are a fuckin' moron."

"Fuck off, alright? I'm a moron because I don't want my baby to starve?" Carmen huffed. The table erupted in comments, mostly derogatory towards Carmen's last comment and in defense of you.

"She's not starving your baby, you idiot." Sugar huffed. "She's sick. Ok? That is a different kind of sickness. One you will never understand." Sugar sneered. "And right now, there's probably only one craving that the baby won't reject, so maybe instead of being a dumbass-"

"-total jagoff-"

"-complete asshole-"

"-Go check on her." Sugar placed her hands on her hips, the sisterly glare that only an older sister could possess.

Carmen hated that she was right, hated that they all were. But he hated that you were upset and in the bathroom more.

"Can I come in?" Carmen knocked lightly, hearing Tina's soothing voice over your retching and sniffles. His heart plummeted.

Tina opened the door with a glare, one that had Carmen stepping back. "You not gonna come in here and make Mama more upset, you got me, Jeff?" Tina sneered, a painted brow raised menacingly at him.

Carmen just nodded dumbly. "You better get in there and make it right, you hear me?" Tina pushed past him.

You were sitting on the tile, one hand wiping your tear stained face, the other cleaning your mouth with a piece of toilet paper. You glared at Carmen through tear stained eyes, sniffling softly, making his heart crack.

"Baby," Carmen knelt down, a hand running over your hair soothingly. "I'm sorry, alright? I-I didn't mean to yell like that."

You just glared at him, wiping under your eyes. "I just... I don't know, I'm scared. I'm scared that something will happen to the baby, and-and it will be my fault."

"How would it be your fault?" You mumbled through a pout. "It's my body."

"Yeah, but, I-I don't know. Like if I miss a step or don't do everything right it will... It'll be bad and it's gonna be my fault." Carmen muttered, looking down at the tile.

"That's not how it's gonna be, Carm." You sigh, your heart melting at his admission. You knew he was scared, you were too. Just trying to figure it out together. "You can't plan everything and expect it to go like that. Not with a baby."

"I know." Carmen ran a hand down his face, looking back at you sweetly. "I'm just... I-I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to pressure you like that and be an asshole... or a jagoff... or a dumbass..."

You giggled lightly, lips curling. "You're not a dumbass all the time." You said playfully. "I promise, I will eat, Carm. I just can't do the vegetables and cheese today." You said, gagging lightly at the thought.

"Yeah? That's alright. What can you do, hm? What're you in the mood for?" Carmen hummed, running a hand down your hair.

You thought for a moment, hand running over your tummy lightly. You'd barely started to show, looking like bloat, but it drove Carmen wild regardless.

"Remember that hot dog we had after our first karaoke date?" You muttered dreamily, leaning your head to the side.

It felt like a lifetime ago. You and Carmen had just gotten 'serious'. Everything was exciting and new, and you'd taken him to a karaoke bar, serenading him a little tipsy and giggly. You'd been starving on your walk home. Carmen stopped and got you a one am hot dog at a questionable stand, but you'd loved it, sharing it with him, buried into his side while the two of you walked home. It was a shitty hotdog, but Carmen would've ate a million that night to keep you happy like that.

"Yeah?" Carmen tried not to grimace, nose scrunching lightly enough to have you laughing, his shoulders relaxing at the sound.

"I just want a shitty hotdog. Nothing gourmet. Just with some mustard. That's all I've been craving." You muttered.

"Alright. That's what baby wants?" Carmen asked, helping you off the floor sweetly, grabbing your bag for your mouth wash.

You nodded, gargling with it, Carmen holding your hair back while you spit in the sink. "I'll get it for you, ok? I think there's one down the block-"

"-I'll come with you." You added, glaring at him lightly, so he wouldn't protest. "I just need to be outside. Maybe settle my stomach."

"Alright." Carmen nodded, a hand running down your hip. "You got a coat?" You nodded, leaning into his side, walking back to the office with him.

Carmen walked you down to the stand, "overpriced and a tourist trap" he'd grumble, but bought you two hot dogs- just in case. In case you wanted more later. You'd managed to keep it down, sitting with him on the steps of The Bear, pressed into his side, giggly and sharing kisses in between bites.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dad!carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader #tina the bear #sugar berzatto #richie jerimovich #sydney amadu #marcus brooks #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader

[thebearer]

If you ask Teddy, her Mama is the michelin star chef and not her Dada🤣

oh? carmen, you made fancy purees that you researched for hours?

disgusting.

mama made mac and cheese and gave her apple sauce? a chef wizard. she loves it.

"it's supposed to be good for her brain development."

"her brains not going to develop anything because she's not eating, carmen. she's going to starve. she'll be alright with mac and cheese."

he huffs. "at least use the-"

"-carmen, you used to smoke two packs a day and never drank water." you glare at him. "she will be fine with this if it means she'll eat."

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dorothea “teddy” berzatto

[thebearer]

blurb ideaaaaa

mom reader and dad carmy moving the elf’s of the shelf of teddy and willow and seeing their reactions :))

"Stupidest fuckin' thing..." Carmen mutters, sprinkling the flour along the floor in a trail to the counter. "This just makes more of a mess for us to clean up."

"Yeah, but the girls love it." You give him a pointed look, holding Jingles- your elf- in your hand.

The Elf on the Shelf was Pete's fault. One off handed brag about how their children loved the elf, and Teddy was freaking out about why she didn't have an elf. Thus, Jingles was brought into the Berzatto household. You knew Carmen hated the elf, there were days you forgot to move him, didn't do super extravagant things, times you fucked up and felt bad about it. The elf was added stress, but it was also so fun for the girls, so you did it.

Carmen's lips pursed, in a tight line. "Yeah, well they better like this." He huffed, flicking the flour on the pasta. "Go do the feet marks. make it look like he ran through it."

You grinned, poking his side lightly, before bending down, plopping Jingle's feet through the flour to make it look like he'd been running.

Carmen snorted in laughter, grinning at your animated running. "What?" You frowned playfully.

"Nothin'." Carmen shook his head, eyes beaming with joy when they met yours. "'s cute that you do this. You're a good mom."

"You help me." You bumped your hip with his affectionately, laying Jingles in the flour gently. "Pretty good dad, if you ask me."

Carmen blushed, moving the arms and legs of the elf to make it look like snow angels. "Hold on, I gotta take a picture of this." You grinned, pulling out your phone. "Sugar will like this idea. I'll send it to her."

"Hope Anchovy doesn't fuckin' snatch this thing again." Carmen muttered, looking around the kitchen for the cat.

Last year, Anchovy had mistaken the elf for one of his toys, knocking it off the shelf with his paw, which sent Teddy and Willow both over the edge. Sobbing and screaming, you and Carmen though they'd been hurt when you came in the room. Their horrified faces and Anchovy skittering out of the room, Jingles in the middle of the floor. Carmen had grabbed tongs, thankfully, thinking quick on his feet so he didn't 'touch' the elf. He'd nearly sent Jingles back to the North Pole- the garbage- that night.

"I think he's traumatized by it." You giggled. "He won't go near it, I swear. He just looks at it like he looks at Richie."

Carmen grinned, hand sliding down your waist, squeezing your hip as you propped up your little note from Jingles, proud of your handiwork.

The girls woke you up early, excited to tell you all about what Jingles had done. Carmen even feigned shock at the mess, sending them into a fit of giggles, beaming at their elf. He hated to admit it, but it was a great start to the morning, seeing his girls so happy, even if he was cleaning up flour for a good twenty minutes. He looked forward to starting the day, and ending the night with you- and Jingles.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto blurb #thebearerblurbs #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto #dorothea “teddy” berzatto #willow natalia berzatto #carmy fluff #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto ​x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x female!reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen 'carmy' berzatto

[thebearer]

the milestones menu: teddy's toast

prompt: you and carmen tell teddy some big news.

the rest of the milestones menu can be found here!

contains: fluff. dad!carmen x mom!reader but truly just fluff :)

3 tablespoons granulated or brown sugar

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Pinch of kosher salt

Unsalted butter, for cooking

4 slices of brioche bread

In a small bowl, stir together the cinnamon, sugar, and salt. Melt some butter in a nonstick skillet over medium-low; you’ll want enough to lightly coat the bottom of the skillet when melted. Swirl the bread around to absorb the butter. Cook until light golden brown. Add another pat of butter. Sprinkle the toasted tops edge to edge with a thin layer of the cinnamon sugar. Cook until the underside is golden brown. 

“Daddy.” It was hardly a whisper, teetering on the edge of a hiss. Carmen’s vision blurred, still foggy with sleep, making out a mess of curls in front of him. 

“Daddy,” Teddy’s voice was louder this time, ticking up in octave the way yours did- a sweet coo you always used when you were coaxing her out of bed. Carmen’s heart swelled, she’d picked up on that. Teddy was acting more and more like you every single day, and Carmen couldn’t be happier. 

“Yeah? Yeah, ‘m up.” Carmen groaned, rubbing the heel of his hand to his eyes, rubbing out the sleep in them. His body ached, sore from the long week. Hamstrings burning in the most miserable way. “What’s up Teddy Bear? You sleep good, hm?” 

“Yeah.” Teddy giggled, pushing up on the edge of the mattress. She was still too little, which selfishly made Carmen smug. She was so big now, four years old. He blinked, and now she was her own little person. 

“Where’s Mama?” Carmen muttered, looking around. It was too late in the morning for you to be in bed. The doorway was vacant of you leaning against it, a tiny smile and cup of coffee cradled to your chest, soaking in watching Teddy and Carmen interact. 

“She’s throwded up again.” Teddy frowned. “She not feel good?” It was a question, head cocked to the side and brows furrowed.

“I think she ate somethin’. Got her tummy all messed up.” Carmen muttered, tickling Teddy’s little tummy, leaving her squealing and kicking in his arms. He hoped it would distract her. Stop her from asking too many more questions. 

“Are you hungry? Mama made you breakfast yet?” Carmen asked, sliding out of the bed with Teddy on his hips. 

“No,” Teddy shook her head, tiny, chubby fingers poking at Carmen’s chain. “She was gonna until she gots sick.” 

“Oh,” Carmen nodded slowly, opening the door. Anchovy chirped, stalking in and out of his legs, head nuzzling against his calves while he walked. He wanted Teddy down, the toddler and the cat had been inseparable since birth, but Carmen liked to tell himself Anchovy was excited to see him. 

“How about we make somethin’ that will make Mama feel better?” Carmen suggested. He could hear you in the guest bathroom, water running and vent going to drown out your heaves. It had worked at the beginning, but now Teddy was catching on. 

“What?” Teddy asked, head tilting to the side so sweetly Carmen wanted to squeeze her. 

“What do I make you when you’re feeling gross?” Carmen asked, settling the toddler on the counter, one hand on her hip to steady her, the other preheating the oven. 

“Soup?” Teddy chirped. 

“In the mornings.” Carmen tried again. 

Teddy thought for a moment, a grin spreading across her face. “Teddy’s Toast.” 

“Yeah,” Carmen smiled proudly. “You think that will help Mama feel better?” 

“Uh-huh.” Teddy nodded, curls bobbing when she shook her head. “I helps?” She pointed at herself, lips rounding cutely when she asked the question. Carmen was sure his heart might just swell and burst out of his chest, she was so cute sometimes. He didn’t know how he’d handle two. 

“Yeah, you can help. Get me the bread?” Carmen put her on the ground, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before nodding to the pantry. 

Teddy scampered past you, nearly knocking you over in the process. You looked sick, a little woozy still. It was less now, just a little upset in the morning, then you were fine. 

Carmen’s eyes flicked over to you, rounding with concern. “Hey, mornin’, baby.” He muttered, a hand running across your back when you met him. “You feel alright? You good? Need some ginger ale or Sprite?” 

“I just need water.” You swallowed the spit that filled your throat, still a little sensitive from the retching moments ago. 

Teddy swung the bread on the counter, jumping with raised arms to Carmen so he could lift her up- so she could ‘help’ him cook. 

Carmen passed you a glass of water, which you took gratefully, lifting Teddy on the counter. “Gotta sit still, Dorothea, alright? You start movin’, you’re down.” He gave her a stern look, which she just waved off with a cute nod. 

“Teddy,” You cooed, voice still a little raspy. “Did you go wake up Daddy?” 

“Yes.” Teddy nodded. “‘Cause you-you was sick, Mama.” 

Carmen’s eyes met yours, a knowing look shared between you. “I was. Thank you for getting Daddy. That was a good thing to do.” You praised her lightly. 

Teddy beamed, looking at Carmen gleefully while he cut the butter into slices. “Now we make you breakfast, Mama.” Teddy nodded. 

“Oh? What are you making me, Chef Teddy?” You asked, head leaning into the palm of your hand. 

“‘S a secret.” Teddy whispered, fingers pressed to her lips. “Surprise!” 

“Oh, it’s a surprise, hm?” You asked dramatically, hoping to reach her level of excitement. 

Carmen smirked, wrist rotating the butter on the pan. “Yeah. You’ll like it, honey. Promise.” He winked at you softly. You flushed, cheeks tingling with heat. He could still make you flustered, still make you swoon. 

“Yeah, pwomise.” Teddy added with a little bob of her head; her own nod of approval. 

“Hey, Teddy. Could you do Mommy a big favor?” You ask, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “Could you get Mommy’s phone from the living room and bring it in here? Two hands, please?” 

Teddy nodded, Carmen setting her down so she took off, two feet pounding against the hardwood floors. “Do you think we should tell her?” You asked, sipping the rest of your water, eyeing Carmen carefully. 

“Tell her now?” Carmen pointed towards the counter, sprinkling the sugar mix on top of the browning toast in the pan. 

“Yeah, I mean… She’s catching on.” You mutter, hearing Teddy’s rough grab of the charger ripping out of the wall with your phone. “Might as well tell her before she starts telling everyone I’m sick and they get worried.” 

“Yeah, we-we can do that.” Carmen nodded, flipping the toast gentled in the pan. “If you want, honey.” 

“I think it would be best. Try to do it and then I can get the thing out of the closet for her.” You mutter, Teddy running back in, announcing triumphantly she found your phone. 

“Thank you, my sweet girl.” You coo, lifting her in your arms, peppering her face with kisses while she squealed and squirmed. Carmen tensed at you lifting her, eyes glaring at you in warning before turning back to the food in front of him. 

Teddy sat in your lap in the nook. You weren’t sure why you wanted to hold her, cuddle her softly while she babbled to you and Carmen, feeding you pieces of ‘Teddy Toast’ with an excited screech. You’d blame the hormones, mixed with the anticipation of telling her the news. 

“‘S good?” Teddy asked, turning to you with bright eyes- identical to Carmen’s. You wanted to melt. “Feel better?” 

“So much better.” You nodded. “How did you know this would make me feel better, hm? You’re so smart, aren’t you Teddy Bear?” You baby talk her, pressing kisses to her cheek. You know you shouldn’t anymore, she was four, growing up now, but how could you not? She was still so little to you. 

“Hey, you done?” Carmen asked, wiping Teddy’s hands when she nodded. He pushed the plate away, eyes cutting to yours carefully. “Teddy, we gotta tell you somethin’, ok? Somethin’ big.” 

Teddy stilled, ears perking at Carmen’s words, his tone. “Big?” 

“Mmhm.” You nodded, smoothing a hand down her curls. You moved her, turned her in your lap so she was facing both of you. “You know Mama’s been getting kinda sick lately?” 

“Yes.” Teddy nodded. “‘Cause you ated something.” 

“Right.” Your eyes cut to Carmen’s. “Well, not really ate something… Do you remember when Aunt Sugar had baby Jamie?” You started. 

Teddy’s lips twisted in thought, nodding. “And you remember Aunt Sugar had Jamie in her, uh, belly?” Carmen tickled her tummy softly, a lopsided smile spreading across his face at her little squeals and giggles. 

“Yeahhhh…” Teddy sang, collapsing into Carmen’s arms dramatically. 

Carmen snuggled her to his chest, nose pressed to her hair, looking at you. “Well, Mama’s been a little sick because,” You took a shuddering breath, clammy hand smoothing over your tummy. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous, so nervous to tell your toddler. 

“Because Mama has a baby in her tummy.” Carmen finished it for you, found the words that were choking in your throat, struggling to make their way out. 

Teddy frowned slightly- confused. You wanted to laugh, she looked so adorable. “A baby?” 

“Mmhm,” You nodded. “Your baby. Well, our baby, but your baby brother or sister.” You and Carmen paused, looking at Teddy, analyzing her every little move- every tiny tick and quirk as she thought silently.

“There’s… There’s a baby… in there?” Teddy processed it slowly, pressing a tiny finger into your ribs. 

“Yeah, right in here. That’s your baby brother or sister.” You nod slowly, voice calm and even, hoping to help her understand. 

“That’s why Mama’s been a little sick.” Carmen added. 

“Because of the baby?” Teddy clarified. 

“Because of the baby.” Carmen nodded slowly. 

“Because you ated it?” Teddy’s brows furrowed, looking up at you. 

You and Carmen paused, looking at each other. You’d played hypotheticals for weeks now- what if Teddy was upset, how would you say it, should you tell her until you’re out of your first trimester, what if Teddy didn’t want the baby? 

You hadn’t planned for this. 

“Uh, I didn’t…” You looked at Carmen for help. 

“Mama didn’t… she didn’t eat the baby.” Carmen said slowly. 

“Then how’d it getted in there?” Teddy asked, throwing her tiny little palms out for emphasis. Not at all affected by the news of a sibling- oh no, your child was worried about how the baby got in your tummy. 

“Uh,” Carmen looked like he might throw up, looking at you for help. 

“Daddy put it-” Carmen’s eyes widened, face reddening furiously. “I mean, Daddy and I got it at the store, and-and we have to grow the baby.” You stuttered, heat rising up your own cheeks. “Like-Like the flowers we grew in the backyard, remember?” Teddy nodded. 

“It’s like that. A little baby seed that has to grow in my tummy, then you’ll have a brother or sister in a few months.” You said as calmly and confidently as you could. 

Teddy was silent, nodding slowly, finger tracing on the table slowly. “Are you- You have any questions for us, Teddy Bear?” Carmen asked hesitantly. 

“Where did you buy the seed at?” Teddy turned to look at Carmen. 

“Target.” You said smoothly, ignoring Carmen’s bulging eyes at you. “Anything else? Are you feeling ok?” 

“Can I buy a baby seed?” Teddy asked, little hands pressing into her chest. 

“Absolutely not.” Carmen scoffed, louder than he meant it to be, harsher. 

Teddy’s eyes rounded softly, shining with hurt. You glared at Carmen lightly. “No, baby. You have to be older to buy it.” 

“A lot older.” Carmen added, holding the tiny toddler closer to his chest. 

Teddy thought for a moment, silently processing everything. “Do you have any more questions, baby? I know this is a lot of big news. It’s ok if you do.” You say softly, grabbing her little hand in yours. 

“Can we go to Target today?” Teddy asked, eyes shining bright and excitedly. “Yeah. Yeah, we can.” You giggled, tickling her sides softly. You grinned, beaming at her. She looked just like Carmen, but she was just like you. You hoped the next one would look just like Carmen too, act like him too.

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