#so I won't be active or around as much

[taxinealkaloids]

i love the tower princes. i love that there’s absolutely no way in hell that this friendship is even remotely good for either of them. love that they assuredly are making each other SO much worse with every second they spend together. 

#tlt #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #my art #anyway ever think about how the empire of the nine houses is pretty much singlehandedly being run by ianthe #and not only are the 2 people who are supposed to outrank her no help at all #they're actually actively detrimental to the empire's functioning as they are both deep in their depression spirals #and won't stop trying to start the apocalypse like they wanna start the apocalypse so BAD!! and ianthe doesn't even want to #be saving the world. girl wants to be villainous. she's stopping the apocalypse with an air of 'UGH i have to do EVERYTHING around here' #you really can't blame her for needing a chew toy. luckily kiriona is right there and she's basically a professional chew toy. #she's used to it. who knows what she'd even do with herself if no one was chomping on her. so it works out!! (not)

[sabh0]

Can we yap about how much these two GENUINELY need each other and can't STAND the fact they know this and despise that it's true!! 😭

More so Dazai than Chuuya, honestly- he's a very needy guy XD

Like they don't need each other to survive - the 4 years apart made it clear, but. They both seem so much more alive and genuine next to each other aughhh

Both know there's no other person that understands them so well, but the fact that *someone* can basically read their thoughts before they even say em is what also scares em sm,,, like yeah i hate you and i hate the fact that you know me so well. And i also hate the fact that i know you so well too,,,

Tho there r times when they REALLY need each other to survive, not metaphorically or anything. Chuuya needs Dazai durning Corruption and Dazai needs Chuuya when uh. Making these stupid plans where he plays a princess who needs a prince on a white horse to save him. Be it Dead Apple or even the Dragon's Head Conflict.

And it makes me go so aughhh bc none of them have to use these tactics that put their lives in the hands of the other, but they still do and aughhh the trust they have for each other makes me throw up

#sab q&a #literally babbling about stuff everyone knows about #but please skk trust means so much to me #like #just compare them with beast skk #in dhc og Chuuya didn't even wait for Dazai #he activated Corruption knwoing the other is right beside him and will stop him eventually #(even if Chuuya said not to do that at the time) #(like Dazai just wont let him die) #but at the same point in time #beast dazai had to convince chuuya to even activate corruption bc chuuya didn't trust him enough #and what he did to convince him??? dazai literally stabbed himself in his leg to show that he won't run away and leave chuuya there #like aughh #beastzai must've left chuuya so many times before that atp this was the only way to make him trust him #dying screaming throwing up #they make me feel so unwell #umm anyway #i also think it's not that 'dazai needs chuuya more' or the other way around #they're equally insane #goodnight

[eerna]

I think Inej's "I will have you without armor" scene is a good example of why you can't just randomly insert scenes from the source into an adaptation and call it a character arc. In the book, Kaz believes the only way to solve his issues is to brute force through them. When he tries to solve his touch repulsion, he does it by removing his gloves right away instead of dealing with the trauma that caused him to wear them in the first place, treating it as a physical failure instead of an emotional one. He isn't trying to solve his trauma, he wants to remove his "weakness". In fact, he is scared of letting go of the emotional damage done to him and reduces himself entirely to a "hurt guy looking for revenge who will destroy everything and everyone", since that's what has been keeping him going for years. Inej notices this, even if she doesn't have the full context. She witnesses him repeatedly trying to brute force his way through their relationship, opening up to her a bit only to shut her away the next second, because his only goal is to keep her by his side and not to actually heal himself. She understands his touch aversion is not just a physical thing, his gloves aren't just a way to cope with it, they are the symbol of everything that makes him a bad person - not his trauma, but the fact that he uses it as an excuse to hurt others. Inej herself has PTSD related to physical touch, but she doesn't let it define her, and she wants to heal and get over her past, so there is no way she could ever settle for a partner who is actively trying NOT to forget at the expense of hurting her and everyone around him. In the show, there is none of this buildup. We still don't know a single thing about Inej's trauma, except that one implied scene in s1 where she was scared of that dude touching her arm. She isn't even present for the wagon scene, which was supposed to be the first time Kaz was plainly suffering and in need of help. And Kaz is not running away from emotional responsibility - he has repeatedly told her how much she means to him, he tried to give her money to skip town, he got her indenture paid off, and all of that BEFORE this scene. So why is she saying it? What is the armor she is talking about?? It's word-for-word the same, but with none of the weight. It almost seems like it's literally just the gloves, just as all the bad-faith readers have been interpreting the scene for years, which makes me believe the writers went with that surface interpretation too and that's really sad

#sab spoilers #sab liveblog #writing kanej essay posts on this fine morning #i almost went off on a tangent abt the gloves being burned and them not saving her but the rain saving her in the incenerator #but i figured that's a bit much #like i just. love them so much. i think im gonna join ina and reread the books i miss them #like even the fact that in the show she can say it to his face because he isn't actively running away from her words speaks volumes #in the book he shuts her off the MOMENT she starts questioning him and turns around and won't look at her

[caestusvulpes]

i really do like seeing the jojo rpc come back

#ooc | and i won't be part of this in the end #when i first started writing here it was very active. it was around when the diu anime ended #picked up again when part 5 started but not nearly as much bc the prn ban hit like. right afterwards fjefbekfbekdb. #and then. netflix (derogatory) #but ive seen so many new blogs in the past couple months!!! its just really nice to see! #welcome everyone if you're reading this!!!

[bruhstation]

senja. Are you still alive

#asks #anonymous #YES! I AM VERY MUCH ALIVE! SENJA CANNOT BE TAKEN DOWN THAT EASILY. #I've been preparing for college entrance exams since the beginning of april!!!!!! #and I've been really busy doing mock exams/attending prep courses/talking with teachers #because I do not want to lose #and I want to get into this college and pursue med school so people can taste my WRATH #this will be a turning point in my life and I won't trade it for anything #it's better for me to drag my half-dead body around NOW instead of crying and whining later when I failed to pass #casa tidmouth activities will resume when the results are out and my victory is secured #anyways thanks for the check anon

[jemichi90]

I have another audition coming this week. Will I get a job this time? I’ll keep you updated.

Another thing that might be happening this week depends on the new proof copies of my book and their quality. If they pass my quality check, I’ll be publishing the book next weekend, so I can include an early access offer for the book with a QR code in my portfolio folder at an event where I should have a few art pieces on display in the art gallery. But I also need the confirmation from the event, so that’s a big “if”. I’ve still got a few days until then, so I’ll figure it out.

But yeah, I’ll give you more details when I know more, but I’m fairly excited about the latest developments in my life. ^^

#randomness #life of an artist #it's an artsy job so I'd be happy to get it #they actually offered me a different job than the one I applied for based on my skills #so that's pretty cool #and the book is literally a press of a button away from being published #I'm just trying to get the colors perfect #and see that everything aligns properly #the books are on their way #but will they make it here in time remains to be seen #I'll also need to print the ads with the QR code for both the Finnish and the English edition #so much happening this week #I was not prepared #now I'm just buzzing around restlessly #don't worry if I won't be very active here for a bit #I just have a lot of stuff that I need to do

[dustylovelyrun]

Last Line Tag

Rules: Post the last line that you wrote, then tag as many people as your heart so desires, humans!

Tagged by @atomic-insomnia. Round one of the (logged) owed three, my human! If I owe you more, we’ll find out as I go poking throughout my notes again. Thank you so, so much, and I’m sorry for leaving it for so long!

“Thanks,” and, though visibly displeased with the situation, Kolisnyk eventually accepts the wordless offer, body unfurling from his admittedly entertaining slump and reaching out with his unwounded hand to grasp onto Calleum’s own. With little regards to either proper wound care or medical hygiene, Kolisnyk uses the bent and twisted fingers of his injured hand to drive into the soft earth, regaining purchase with the claw-like movement, before pressing the laceration in his palm down into the blackened topsoil. It’s with an irritable hiss that he then pushes down, using the combined momentum of his motions and Calleum’s swift tug to haul himself upwards. A momentary stagger overcomes him as he rediscovers the world on both feet, and Calleum’s hands hasten to balance him by his lower back and bicep, while Kolisnyk tilts and throws the other hand back out for some semblance of balance. He looks rather wretched, Calleum notes, while Kolisnyk continues to be quick as ever, readjusting and canting to the side, stabilizing as he shifts his weight onto the notably less muddied part of his body and the leg that doesn’t look half-beaten in its war against nature, and Calleum soon finds that he��isn’t quite mature enough to reign in the soft breath of laughter that wells in his chest and releases with his observations.

From Pulse. This puppy took a little bit, with the brain constantly shifting words around and leaving me very, very confused every time I read it over. Hoping it ended up coherent. Kolisnyk is Riley, and this is the aftermath of what happens when he isn’t paying much attention, falling down an embankment, and he just so happens to do so while Calleum is absently wandering about the forest that surrounds their school somewhere during the low light of dusk, too. Riley then reveals himself to be much like any doctor, with an apprenticeship steadily underway in healing, but still making the rather poor choice of disregarding his own basic health - like slapping down a newly attained laceration in his hand into dirt.

Anyway... how are we liking the new tense? It gives me Hell~ But it’s functioning far better in terms of comprehension for me than past tense used to, and it’s all starting to flow quite nicely during the writing process, too.

Tagging: @trashplanetsandmagicforests, @aziz-writes, @thewalkingnerd, @writingamongther0ses, @rubyleaf, @juleswrites, @emelkae, @stories-by-rie, @pen-for-sword, @akindofmagictoo, @writerfae, @drippingmoon, @ineffablyendless, @oh-three, @oh-no-another-idea, @keen2meecha, @winterandwords, @writingpotato07, @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @aelenko, @maybenow22

#writing #my writing #last line tag #wip: pulse #A). WHAT DO YOU M E A N #What do you MEAN the LAST TIME I posted ANY SNIPPET was during MARCH?? #B). I'm not quite sure when references with surnames became a thing but it's working quite well to establishing slow shifts in relations #and giving me an idea of where they are within each other's minds. there's a variant of some sort for everyone it seems #surnames being the most common as they accumulate partners in crimes like pokemon cards #and C). while rewriting the tense and figuring things out I've decided that it fits much better. Present. And I need to reevaluate ages #I had the unfortunate experience of interacting with folks around their canonical ages a month or so ago. It's not bad #but I've also never felt so out of the loop and old as well #I'm also steadily and slowly making Milena older and older to adjust and really need to stop doing that because soon she'll age out #even with the weird kinda school system I've got going on for my magical alien school #oh and bonus D) point - #screw the moving house thing. that's one of the reasons I've delayed stuff. I've given up and won't be leaving things hanging like that #probably to some degree at least but monthly stirring needs to be a thing again #I'm slowly forgetting how to do things and that just isn't on #if it means participating in writeblr while passively squishing my dog as she bowls over moving company employees so be it - #going to make myself be active again come hell or high water

[circuscursed]

HELLO I AM ALIVE + EPISODE 2 WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

#ooc #about to go eat so i'll post more later but! this show is so much fun! i love c: #gummigoo............... why is he so best boy...... #( and of course everyone else was great too as expected >:) ) #i probably won't be SUPER active here until we find out a bit more about the characters (like backstories etc) #but i'm gonna try and be around more and get some writing done because! i'm having fun with it! #hope you're all having fun too <3333

[introspectivememories]

well now that we know the cult is back, imma need some heavy bernard angst from the comic. the panic attacks, relapses into unhealthy behavior, pushing people away, imma need all of it.

#'but you're okay now?' #'some days.' #make that no days now bear #i need it to start off innocuously too. like he puts off a date or two claiming that he has homework. he's clumsier now. like he doesn't #care what's in front of him. he walks into a pole once and ends up with a huge bruise on his shoulder. bernard presses on it for weeks. #and then comes the 'it's just once. I'm not gonna do it again.' behavior. the purposeful pain. the dig his nails into his wrists until #it stings. the bandages on the inside of his thighs kinda pain. #the 'tim can never find out about this' type of unhealthy behavior. #i need bernard to escalate until he wakes up aching one day and it's like he's gone back in time to the beginning of his cult days. #i need him to look himself in the mirror one morning and realize that even if could stop hurting himself he's not going to. #i need him to start loitering around the old cult building knowing that it's wrong to wish they were still active but wanting it anyway. #i need him to go on several benders. so sorry but i think he has a fake id and definitely buys alcohol. #oh my god... wait wait wait! #i need him to go out one night after assuring tim that he's gonna go straight home and get kidnapped by the cult again. #oh my god he wakes up on the altar again. mouth filled filled with wine and his hands tied down and he- #he relaxes. because he was chosen the first time and now he been chosen again. he's still good. thank god thank god he's still good. #and the first time they chose him he was bad. struggled too much begged too hard to be let go. but he's better now. #they chose him. again. he won't fight it this time. he'll be good this time. #this is just your friendly reminder that #cult conditioning takes at /least/ 5 years to wear off. usually more. #my man bernard is gonna be having a Lot of bad days #anyway #bernard dowd #dc #td:r #timbern #ig

[braveburned]

pov your college professor roleplays five nights at freddys in their spare time

#★ * OOC / brainrot for a sushi restaurant. ) #this is a stupid way to say I start the classes I teach for my university tomorrow KJSBKJSN #I'll be around tonight! probably! #I got all my prep work done so I'm pretty much in the clear #and I don't foresee the classes themselves impacting my activity all that much other than half the day I won't be able to look at the dash #but I don't get as worn out teaching as I do actively doing my thesis work which. duh. #I like teaching though I'm excited

[istillseeeverything]

The friend I've been vaguing for months finally unfollowes my tumblr today. I am sipralling of course. Normal reaction. I want that bitch gutted

#jesse.txt #All the stupid ups and downs of our friendship and you won't even follow me on tumblr????????? You're that dedicated to just deciding to no #Liking me anymore??? Fucking really??? I wait for you to mature over the summer and this is what you give me???? #For context she kept getting pissed at me but wouldn't outright tell me she was pissed or WHY #I asked to her about this and it was resolved! I told her about how I wasn't willing to guess what she's thinking because I'm autistic #I told her (clearly‼️) that she should talk to me about what's bothering her instead of being passive aggressive #Guess what she did the next time she got upset. (Hint. Not what we discussed) #It got to the point where I actively felt sick around her and the rest of our friends #I talk to my therapist I talk to every single one of my friends not involved #We all come to the conclusion that I should wait it put #Fucking whatever. Fuck our dnd campaign fuck all of those people who was friends with fuck them ALL #It's just autistic on autistic violence but fucking!!!!!!!!! It mattes so much to me and I can't say or do anything about it because then i #The loser!!!! I fucking hate the game of “no emotions wins ”i fucking hate it!!!!!! She's the immature one but I'm the one who's crying so #I'm obviously the loser!!!!! Kicks sand!!! Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[leatherbookmark]

went outside to grab shit for breakfast, immediately got bombarded with appearance issues

#like yeah i guess Other Girls don't have my skin issues While Incredibly Pale. so that helps them in looking Effortlessly Pretty #and if i wanted to be a Pretty Feminine Girl Who Wears Make-Up And Mature Feminine Clothes i could be. #but i don't. i like my mens tshirts and mismatched socks and i like not having to spend money on foundations bronzers blushes and all that #up until i go outside. then it hits me how much i'm failing at everything. i dress like a child i look like an ungroomed teenager And even #if i tried i wouldn't be good at makeup because i only know apply foundation. the Thought of learning how to contour shade etcetc makes me #actively miserable but if i ever get a job i won't be able to afford not wearing make-up because my skin is just ugly. can't go around that #I HONESTLY PREFERRED TEARING UP ABOUT RPF FANFICTION. i really gotta have that fucking breakfast #shrimp thoughts

[dutybcrne]

One-sided Kaebedo idea. Not for angst, but for just the sheer absolute PUPPY MODE Kae would be in trying to make himself useful to Albedo and Albedo realizing okay yeah, maybe it IS kind of cool to have someone THAT dedicated to you helping out with shit-

#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Kae confessing to him while drunk or smth; Bedo politely (bluntly) declining bc he doesn't feel the same #//Kae; even mortified his drunk self revealed such a thing; asking if he could still SHOW/act on his feelings in the form of Acts of Service #//Bedo letting him after they both carefully negociate boundaries and do's/don'ts #//No angst bc Kae is DEFFO not emotionally ready for any relationship but content he can still show his love and be Useful to him #//Honestly; I think Kae would prefer that arrangement over being genuinely reciprocated anyways #//Even reassuring Bedo he doesn't ever need to give him anything back; just let Kae help him with stuff. That's all he'll ask #//Bc the best part is getting to actively take care of/help sb he admires without getting snarked over it/refused in a way that Hurts #//That's all Kae'd ever want out of the arrangement and gives Bedo no pressure to give more than he can bear/is able #//Bedo getting to see how dedicated and hardworking Kae actually is; realizing how much more work he can get through with his help #//And gets to have someone who will listen to his every word and soundboard for him (Kae DEFFO works to keep up with everything) #//Someone who would willingly write down everything he dictates including little thoughts and tangents #//Someone who keeps an eye on him and makes sure he isn't neglecting himself in his laser focus on his work #//Both getting to be better friends through being around each other more and bonding over their mutual care for Klee #//Kae would straight up make the arduous trips to Dragonspine as much as Bedo would need him to; just to help him #//Bedo keeping booze somewhere in his labs for Kae to thank him for jobs well done (Kae won't even protest the limit; happy to get them) #//The fact that Kae canonically outright says he's into Bedo got me brainrot once I saw it while checking to ref smth kjdfgg #//So have more thinkings #//Oh my god; Kae being Bedo's extrovert/social interaction shield #//That's another perk of this #//Being each other's plus one to events; Kae making sure to keep an eye out for Bedo and stepping in to spare him socializing #whenever he needs an out #//Or being there to give Bedo a line if he needs a bit of help in an interaction; always ready to help give him an opening in a convo #so he can talk about his research or otherwise be able to weigh in on things. Kae would NEVER let him go unheard if he can help it #//Aaaaand back to draft working I go #//I am getting through LOTS today let's goooo

[natasharomanoff]

i am beyond the point of burnout WOOOOO

#the woo is very sarcastic #i am Not Doing Well my besties #work is actively killing me and even when im not working i cant stop thinking about it #like it stresses me out so much #and i want to quit but i don't want to throw away 4 years #(4 years of them never giving me a raise) #like my guys i live in california and inflation is a BITCH what do you MEAN you won't give anyone raises unless they get promoted #like the only way to get promoted is to stick with a dept long enough and i've switched around 6 times (not by choice) and so i never CAN #and anyway only getting raises when ur promoted is DUMB #but money stresses me out at my job and the work is getting....uh #morally concerning #being told 'nah they signed a legal contract not much we can do at this point' #it sucks #i'm an empathetic person and was told 'stop being so empathetic' #HOW?????

[minhoinator]

i'm getting anxious asldkjfa

#okay so idk if i've talked about my current situation much #lived in one place for seven years; despised it but didn't have the funds to move #my living situation went to shit and i saw no feasible way out aside from taking my aunt up on her offer of moving in #with her and my grandma indefinitely (aka until i could find a new job and afford to move out again) #did this so i could focus on finishing my school work and also move to this side of the state because fuck eastern WA tbh #but....now that i'm here...... #like it's nice living rent free atm especially considering there is no cashflow #however............................. #they're both extremely conservative; which is a choice but okay; religious; and homophobic (and frequently make homophobic comments) #also they have three chihuahuas of varying levels of derangement so i'm just having the time of my life here #first of all they all poop and pee in the house at wild abandon. the number of times i've stepped in it at this point is...too many #rat dog number 1: has the most annoying bark/whine combo i've ever heard and she starts the other rats on a chain reaction #rat dog number 2: actively eats the other dog's shit and like they do occasionally clean up after their dogs but??? #they also just leave paper towels covering the mess until they want to take the time to actually clean it up #rat dog number 3: is a special case. i feel sorta bad bitching about him because he was abused and raised in a meth home so like... #he's special needs but that doesn't mean he can't also be annoying #he makes a lot of the messes and also he will run around in tight circles barking for up to 15 minutes at a time #also all three of them have fleas AND GAVE THEM TO MY DOG but they won't do much of anything about it so anything i try to do for Frodo #is basically pointless #and this isn't even getting into the cooking...my aunt has like idk 40+ ingredients she's allergic to and my grandma #can't eat a lot of foods and they expect me to cook for them because i went to culinary school once upon a time #i'm tired #on top of all this; they live out in the boonies; which wouldn't be that bad of a thing because i like being up in the mountains/forest #however #I don't want to be trapped here during the winter with them because i think i would lose my grip on the fraying threads of my sanity #so i was looking for a job in town #applied to a bunch of places; got one in Portland; which is a little over an hour drive away from me atm #now; i've always wanted to live in OR; so i'm jumping on this opportunity to move #but since it's a new job; i don't have the pay stubs to apply for an apartment #and rent is so fucking high right now

[sitronsangbody]

Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.

#fat liberation #fatphobia #musings