#slate actually being useful

[starwarsrefs]

Trans kids: What gender-exploratory therapy is really about.

#slate actually being useful #Gender-exploratory therapy #geta #conversation therapy #transphobia #trans rights #protect trans kids

[aeide-thea]

as a result of having been a jerk* recently i'm thinking about this:

Exercising restraint is hard. Protecting other people from the full brunt of our frustration—which is almost always driven by underlying fear, insecurities, and anxiety—takes work. We want to give in to the urge to wallow, to do damage, to invite company into our misery. We also can feel closer to others when we expose them to our raw emotion, and if there’s one reliable truth about human psychology, it’s that we desire connection so much that we’ll take it in negative forms when we can’t get positive ones. But venting often doesn’t work to enhance intimacy; it can even isolate us further, whether we’re talking about getting a bad rep among our colleagues for being a negative Nancy, undermining our partner’s sense of trust and safety, or having people in our social circles associate us with stress. Venting isn’t good for us in other ways, too. When our thoughts center on how we’ve been hurt and victimized, we feel less empowered and more out of control. Fred Luskin, a forgiveness researcher at Stanford University, calls this a “grievance narrative.” In a 2006 study, Luskin and his colleagues discovered that replaying a grievance narrative both internally and externally causes our bodies to remain in a state of threat. Those who participated in a forgiveness training program felt less fired up and on edge (55th percentile for anger, compared with normal adults) than a control group (72nd percentile). Another study, which included 60 female participants, found that ruminating about ill will can significantly increase blood pressure. Scratch that bite now, and it only gets itchier later. None of this means you should repress your emotions, never grouse to your loved ones, or otherwise lean into what Whitney Goodman writes about in the book Toxic Positivity. In fact, studies on “social sharing” show that the productiveness of this type of venting depends on how it’s done. According to a 2019 paper, “When Chatting About Negative Experiences Helps—and When It Hurts,” recounting a negative experience takes you right back there emotionally and physiologically, just like the grievance narrative research shows. That leads to an increase in negativity. Friends who respond by comforting you provide a balm in the moment, according to a 2009 paper by Bernard Rimé of the Université catholique de Louvain, but that kind of support doesn’t help process the gripe or trauma. That’s why we’ll often find ourselves hanging up with one friend and calling another. As he put it, “No consistent empirical support was found for the common view that putting an emotional experience into words can resolve it.” We “equate emotional relief with emotional recovery,” but they’re not the same, he said, making that temporary blood pressure dip make a whole lot more sense. That said, the 2019 paper reported that chatting with friends can bring closure when they help you reconstrue an event, rather than just recount it. What does that look like? Asking why you think the other person acted that way, prodding to see whether there’s anything to be learned from it all, and just generally broadening your perspective to “the grand scheme of things.”

#* initially i was like 'dick' and then i was like 'but dicks are good actually!' same problem with 'ass.' critical language difficult. #anyway the writing style of this is Extremely Slate and you (like me) may find it irritating! but i do think the insight is valuable. #gotta get back to blogging my way *into* more charity with other people instead of out of it. #like if i'm complaining abt people being unsympathetic i'm still on a meta-level being unsympathetic myself. #useful reframings

[sysig]

You learn to live with it, learn to love it if you can (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Dexter Favin #I 👏 want 👏 ZEX 👏 to be 👏 happy!! 👏 #I want him to be hale and hearty and living his best life!! I want him alive and well!! #Professional Take-ZEX-Out-of-Situations-er* *(Not actually paid to do this I just feel very strongly about my volunteer work) #Lol #To do with my love towards Max as well? I'll never tell (yes) #Thinking about a ZEX that managed to get back up on his feet with Dex et al's help and start to make a life for himself #Gets into human fashion and goes back to school and makes friends and kisses people <3 It makes me happy #It's not a complete blank slate-start over but if he was able to come out from under everything - persevere - I'd like to see what he'd be ♥ #It's also enjoyable to think about his rise out of pain into something neutral - and then from neutrality to something positive #Going from constantly being afraid and isolated and sad and lonely to a kind of passive disinterest #Very much the stages of grief #Coming up into acceptance - I wonder how isolated he would feel from his life as Admiral ZEX :( #Moments where he's still very far away. Our scars never really leave us they just fade little by little #And some things that he'll never get to experience as a human like depth perception and parallax haha #But still <3 Growing into what Max never had the chance to be ;; #Still not making his parents ''proud'' or whatever |P Dex just happy he's showing initiative and y'know - interest in existence #I do like the idea that he still calls him DAX - the one thing he can't give up completely - but it becomes something like an inside joke #A painful one but a kind of wink and a nod that they both Know #Things will never be the same but they're both taking each day as they come - together #Hhhhh even just little bits of happiness ;; I just want them to be A Little happy

[mugentakeda]

you are SO creative. i have no idea how you come up with half the drawings/stories you post and i love that abt your blog. sorry if this isn't as good as beating you to death tho : \

WJAT THE HELL. THANK YOU SO MUCH? I'm gonna be so honest when I started making atla fanart I was just drawing the niche fanart ideas I didn't really see (as I'm sure u all know I have deep love for iroh and zukos relationship that has grown more and more personal to me as I get older lol) and then I ended up growing this big ass following ??? which is so insane to me to this day cus I've never had more than 500 some followers on literally anything ever (<-i used to run a samurai champloo account on twitter lol). but it's really pushed me to improve in ways I never have before and I'm finally at this point where I can actually say with my chest that I'm proud of most of the stuff I post lol. but despite that I always am asking to be beat to death. its subtextual as I continue to exist (as for the ideas I come up with concerning my two silly aus and stuff. I've always been pretty interested in whatever kinda guy lu ten might've been ever since I first watched atla(<-VERY LONG TIME AGO. I am ancient). but I never actually sat down and really truly thought about it?? I came up w his personality basically by treating the FN royal family like one big stupid puzzle and I'm like, what kind of person would he have been to be the missing piece of this whole puzzle. and a "born to be momma's boy forced to be father's son" guy with a severe case of eldest sibling syndrome was the answer. very proud of that conclusion if I'm being completely honest)

#well I could take the idea of him just being a vessel to use to take #care of zuko and azula. and then make that into an actual trait. #a lot of fics involving him just sorta use him as like #a vessel to use to take care of zuko nd azula #which like. Im the last person to ever shit on any lu ten characterization because he is literally a blank slate. hes a Public Domain OC. #but I was sorta clueless on what I could do with him but I was like and very quickly reached the conclusion of Eldest Sibling Syndrome #and everything became remarkably easy for me to come up with from there. idk. #and the dai li au. I literally stole the basic idea. like I didn't come up with that. I just came up with how My version goes #asks

[doodlboy]

Yk realistically if the om bros were fucked up like demons should be, they wouldn't be that disturbed by bloodlust el's personality.

However, I think the terror and angst comes from the fact that they lived with him his whole life, and for the most part, he was very passive and calm and never immediately resorted to violence, so to see [what used to be] their human revel in bloodshed is.. unsettling.

#bc they loved him for being human #being kind!! he was their connection to the entirety of humanity bc he loved people. bc he was human #they knew he was going to die eventually bc he's mortal. to them his life feels like minutes passing by 2 their immortality #[the universe where he turns in2 bloodlust el is the 1 where solomon can't reproduce the accidental immortality spell he used on himself] #[so el dies of old age after a full life of the devildom and his partners and magic] #so- imagine you die. your life was full and complex and loving #and [for a reason i haven't decided on yet] heaven/the celestial realm wipes your memory of all of that shit and u turn in2 a blank slate #2 be molded and shaped into something befitting an “angel” #then u start getting your memory back and you damn near start another war bc you're so pissed off you fight god & actually land a hit #which gets u cast out of the heaven and when you go crashing into hell you land smack dab in the middle of the garden #that belongs 2 the ppl who once loved you #but when u crashed you fucked up your head and now you're “wrong” #different from the human these people want you to be. and you hide away. they make you feel like a monster when you can't stop it #and get imprisoned for it. then used as essentially a court jester/executioner bc the prince needed to do *something* with you #fucked up #they wouldn't care if he was just another demon. but he's what remains of the human they loved yk #so it's more disturbing #anyway long ramble over #elliot rambles #obey me #obey me mc #obey me demon mc #obey me demon oc #avatar of bloodlust #demon elliot oc

[amiharana]

25 for the revalink prompts? Bonus for not the gerudo outfit

(ask game from here)

part two of You Guys Have the Same Brainworm in my Askbox. but aw darn ya got me anon!!! truthfully, if you want me to write this in canon, i'm not sure what other armor sets would incite the same sort of fluster the prompt implies? like i have a zelda wiki open on the botw armor page and i'm going through it like Hm. Not sexy enough. KJDFHJKDHF but i still wanna write this one in canon so we're gonna take the non-horny route on the definition of 'flustered' instead LMAO

👔 25. Link dresses up just to try and get Revali flustered.

"why in the name of the goddess do you have so much clothing?" revali grumbles, crossing his arms. he's sitting in the middle of their shared roost, surrounded by piles of link's collection of armor, growing more and more as the blond continues warping them out of the sheikah slate. how much could that little contraption hold?

"well, i didn't mean to get this much," link says, tapping at the slate. he holds one of his hands out and in the next second, a pair of opal earrings materializes out of blue light in his palm. "at first, it was just out of necessity. you know zelda left me with only one set of shirt and pants when i woke up? it was way too small and that shit had probably been molding for a hundred years."

he places the earrings on the table with the other jewelry he's pulled out of the slate so far. "i mean, thankfully i found some better pants on the great plateau, but i threw that shirt away as soon as i got to hateno. there's definitely some freak in akkala who got ahold of it somehow, though..."

"and then you just kept buying more?" revali says, peering at one of the piles. why did he have so many of the same green tunic?

"in my defense, i just found some of the stuff lying around hyrule!" link replies, raising both of his hands up in surrender. "but the stealth set is really useful, and the snowquill armor is my favorite of all of my armor." he smiles fondly at revali, and the rito can't help but melt a little bit under his songbird's gaze. "and i look really good in the gerudo top and sirwal." link wiggles his eyebrows at revali, his smile growing mischievous. "wanna see?"

warmth coils under revali's cheek feathers, but he wills it away as best as he can. "maybe another time, when you haven't made an actual nest out of our home," he mutters, looking away.

as he does, one of the armor pieces catches his attention. it's designed with glowing swirls of orange and dots of blue, reminiscent of ancient sheikah technology. "what's this one?" revali says, pulling the piece towards himself. the shoulder ridges sort of remind him of the crest of medoh's head...

link follows his gaze and hums. "that one's the ancient cuirass," he says. "you're supposed to wear it with the greaves over here—" link reaches over to a piece of the other side of revali, revealing matching pants. "and also the helm, but uh... the headpiece is honestly kinda goofy, so i just wear the diamond circlet because it's prettier."

he reaches back towards the table to find the circlet and places it on the head. link then places his hands under his chin and slightly turns his face to the side. "don't i make a prettier princess than zelda like this?"

revali snorts. "sure." he turns back to the cuirass. the orange glow honestly reminds him too much of windblight; the swirling patterns are too similar and he fights down a shiver. he has to remind himself that the sheikah technology had existed prior to the influence of ganon and that it was always meant to be used for good. "what does the helm look like?"

link giggles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "well, uh, here's the one i bought from robbie..." he taps at the sheikah slate and something that looks vaguely like the head of a guardian materializes and drops in link's lap. he holds it up towards revali, grinning in a way that looks more like a grimace.

revali blinks once and then his eyes widen, staring in disbelief at the headpiece. "what... in hylia's name is that," he says taking the helm from link. at closer inspection, the glowing blue circles dotting the circumference of the helm are reminiscent of guardian eyes, or like windblight's. revali shivers this time; he decides he doesn't like the helm at all.

link laughs again nervously. "yeah, like i said, it looks goofy and i feel really silly wearing it..." he trails off, looking away before perking up again. "oh! i have other ancient helms that you might like better than this one."

"robbie made more?" revali says, looking up at link.

the blond shakes his head, tapping at the slate again. "nah, he only made that one, and these ones..." he pauses, chewing on his lip. "um... would you believe me if told you these ones fell out of the sky after i defeated the ganon blights?"

revali blinks once slowly and stares at link, searching his face for any hint of mischief. the only expression on his little jewel's face is hesitance and wariness. "and how exactly would they have done that?"

"dunno, i couldn't explain it even if i tried," link says, shrugging. he taps at the sheikah slate again and another helm materializes from blue light, dropping in the blond's lap. but this time, revali's eyes widen. "i have four of these ones and they all look like—"

"what the hell?" revali exclaims. "how— what— where did you—?!" it feels like every feather on revali's body has risen, standing straight up. he probably looks ridiculous right now, but every part of his body is flushing warm with a feeling he can't put a name to. the helm looks like exactly like medoh's head, or perhaps more accurately, a smaller version of it.

link stares at him, frozen in place holding the helm. "uh... like i said, it kinda just... fell out of the sky after i beat windblight..." chewing on his lip, he slowly holds the helm out to revali. "do you wanna...?

revali just stares at the headpiece with wide eyes for a moment. how did link even get a hold of this? it was supposed to be... slowly and warily, revali takes the helm from link and turns it over in his hands until he's looking at it head-on. it really looks just like medoh.

"you said it fell out of the sky," he murmurs, running the tip of a feathered finger over the ridges of the helm, "but why... why was it given to you... and how did it get to you if..." he trails off, finally speechless.

"if what?" link says softly, trying to prompt revali to continue.

"this is the divine helm of medoh," revali says, his voice quiet. "it's supposed to be a treasure gifted to the one who controls medoh. and as her champion, this was gifted to me back then. i lost it during the awakening of the calamity and after windblight took over..." revali resists the urge to tremble. "i don't know what happened to it. how it came to be in your hands is..."

"i don't know either," link says. "i don't know why it was given to me either. i have other helms that look like the heads of the other divine beasts, too. if that one was yours, then i guess those helms belong to the other champions. i should give them back..." the blond fidgets. "do you... want yours back? it's not like i use it that much anyway. it's just been sitting in the slate collecting dust— i mean, if it could collect dust in there, i don't know how it's stored—"

"it's fine," revali cuts him off, his voice soft. he's still staring at the helm. "just keep it with you for now. the role of the champions and the use of the divine beasts is obsolete now, with ganon sealed away. i wouldn't have a use for it either."

"are you sure?" link murmurs. revali looks back at him and his precious little jewel's eyes are wide and shining. revali doesn't know if it's possible to love a person more than what he feels for link in this moment.

"yes, i'm sure, songbird," he replies and hands the helm back. "it will probably be safer with you in the sheikah slate as well. you'll take good care of it, right?"

"of course," link responds immediately. "it's yours, of course i will." he turns back to the sheikah slate and taps at it again. in seconds, the helm dematerializes in blue light, presumably back into the slate. revali wonders then how anything is stored in there; is it an endlessly sheikah-blue space, floating forever in a void inaccessible from this world?

then, link sets the slate off to the side and crawls forward into revali's lap, wrapping his arms around revali's neck. like clockwork, the rito responds by wrapping his own arms around link's waist and holding him flush against his own body.

"i'm sorry," link blurts suddenly.

revali raises a brow. "what for?"

"that i had the helm. i should have realized that it would probably be yours."

revali snorts. "it was, in the past. i'm not sure i'm worthy enough to have it now, failing my role as a champion and no longer being required as one. you don't need to suffer any feathers over it, snowdrop."

"i guess..." link shifts in his hold so that the side of his head rests on revali's shoulder and he faces revali's neck. "but you are worthy. you're always worthy of it, 'vali, even if we don't need champions anymore. i love you, you know that, right?"

"i do," the rito responds softly. "and i love you as well, much more than you could ever fathom, songbird. thank you." he hears link hum, a content noise against his throat. they sit like that, wrapped in each other's embrace quietly for a couple moments until link speaks again.

"wanna see me in the gerudo fit now?"

"link—"

#revalink #loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #ask #ask game #amihan's revalinkverse #the sheikah slate is a clown car and link is its driver #slate anon i love you if you're out there #i used some creative liberty with this prompt sorry that revali was flustered for only like 0.2 seconds n it probably was not what u meant #i feel like the ending is messy 😭 i wanted to demonstrate link being really attentive to revali's pride possibly being hurt #they both have very complex feelings about their previous role as champions and the perception of being a hero/warrior #as people who both failed to fulfill that role during the calamity the helm may serve as a testament to that failure #WELL ANYWAYS. #revali be like how the FUCK did you get this. this is MINE #link is like look shawty i don't know either it came to me in a vision #no you know what i DO like how this turned out #one thing about me is i want to explore the narrative reasons for why anything ever occurs the way it does in the botw world #BUT THE ACTUAL ENDING LINES HEHEHHEHEHDKJHFSJKDF #revali agrees that link Does look very nice in it hehe

[strixhaven]

“are you nd or nt” this is stupid as hell and i’m opting out of that framework entirely

#the way people conceptualize ‘neurotypicals’ not as actual people but as factory-made blank-slate hyper-capitalist wet dreams of what human #beings are ‘naturally’ and buy into the pathologization of actually natural human behavior and variance in how we function #and so heavily defer to the authority of psych institutions and rigidly defined ideas of normality and divergence #for the sake of having clearly defined labels for a bizarre us v them. dumb as hell #you can say whatever you want in response this seems to be at least a kind of helpful worldview for a lot of people #but nothing i’ve seen about the way these terms get used in practice has made me feel anything but negative towards this framework #everybody needs an other to differentiate themselves from bc yknow identities often form along the lines of out groups in the language of #opposition and the ways that ‘nd’ so often gets flattened to just mean ‘autism and adhd’ and the amount of slap fights i’ve seen about who #gets to be included in the nd out group. to say nothing of these mythical ‘neurotypicals’ you’re supposedly talking about #because point at any person and i guarantee you they don’t match up to the capitalist construction of neurotypicality you have in your head #and then discussions of physical disability’s intersections n all. real fucking mess man #again if it helps you. w/e. i just cannot ever conceive of this being a particularly helpful way for me to view my brain and how i function

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so you've heard of the 'I liked this before it was popular' crowd, now get ready for the equally insufferable 'I disliked this thing when everyone else liked it & now everyone hates it so I feel smug' lot lol...

#personal #nothing is more frustrating that people trying to make u feel bad for liking a thing when said thing was popular #just cos now the thing is now seen as bad #ive seen this sorta thing a lottt in regards to things like harry potter #& like yh there are many MANY valid critiques & jk rowling is a bigot #but trying to claim moral superiority just cos u never got into the books is so fucking dumb imo #and just to b clear i know the appeal of this kinda thing cos when the last star wars film was poorly received #i was incredibly smug at having never gotten intothe franchise #plus when got final series was shit i was part of the 'i stopped around s4' lot #so i get it i get why u wanna push down against things that u used to b slated for criticising #but i just wished people did it w/ more tact u kno?? #i also see this a lot w/ cancelled celebs btw #people being like oh i always thought (someone) was never actually talented or attractive #which is just reductive #cos newsflash sometimes assholes produce good art! that's just a reality #& claiming 'this thing was never good because this celebrity is cancelled now' is just so dumb lol #idk im probs not explaining this well #& i kno a lot of people who do this r young #but it's still frustrating.... #(what kinda sparkef this was people talking about p!atd & how it was oNly good when it was the original line up) #(which is just... not true lol... but yh anyway these tags r too long u get the picture lol)

[thefloorisbalaclava]

.

#i still don't understand the concept of a named reader #like...if it's meant to be reader insert we should be picturing ourselves right? #i totally understand nicknames #but an actual name?? #it makes no sense #make it an oc fic if you're gonna do that #also what's with the f!reader/fem oc bullshit #how is it both??? #it's so frustrating to me #i haven't seen it in the cod fandom (yet) #but it ran rampant in the p fandom #i'm letting y'all know now that i will always make it so you can picture yourself in my fics #i do not use descriptors #and if i do i am sure to include a preamble #my experience as a black woman in fandom has made me a staunch supporter of (female) reader inserts ACTUALLY being reader inserts #my reader will always be a blank slate so you can picture yourself #i will never write anything about blushing or skin turning pink or red #or long flowing hair #or even having a character run their fingers through your hair #you do not have to worry about being left out of my fics #i won't write about reader having a flat tummy or small frame #none of those things #because EVERYONE deserves to imagine themselves with their faves #not just the majority (and i don't even have to say who that is)

[fxrtunas]

thinking abt allan's time in ishgard and how much debt he has........honestly i think it would take at least a year or so until he's able to repay it fully. and even then he'll probably get blackmailed into doing stuff T___T ljaslkfj

#lkajsfkj that and he doesn't pay the debts off by money ;___; #so during that year; every time he visits ishgard; he just gets more tired and gaunter #and smth rlly small and unnoticeable about him probably changes like #his favourite food or smth T__T #lfkjaskjf at least once he stops being used he can focus on his health again but itll leave quite an impact lkjKALSf #/clenches fist im so emo abt this LJAKLSJF #in my lil gremlin brain he might be worse off during shb/ew :thinking: #or post-ew depending on verses LJAKSFJ #i should rlly write lil drabbles abt wtf he's doing................. #lil tidbits :eyes: #but also this is so adjustable for any rp partner tbh LKJAKSJF like this is only for anyone that actually wants to #delve into this backstory #i normally just wipe that slate and invent a new backstory to better suit the person im rping with #just in case this is too dark LKJASLFASKFJ #wheeze #;ooc #god my brain is so gone i am sorry to my drafts lkjKLAJSF #a; allan.

[autism-corner]

liking things is so exhausting

#augh dont get me wrong i experience the joys of it very much #but. its so much brain activity thats happening and im not used to it. #its the being excited part that gets to me ig. #why does my actual heart start racing. because im looking at a figure??? a picture of PLASTIC??? wild. #it would be so much more easy to just. exist as a blank slate. #hii do you get why i wanna be a robot <33 hehe #sillyposting #i dont think i actually WANT to not experience anything obvs. #its just. #ive been plenty of sorts of mentally ill during my 16-19 years. #and before that i wasnt even aware of autism so i. think looking back i always felt dull. #not that i can get a good grasp on that bc. ofc not. #so. #im finally FEELING. #ive noticed im clearly spending more money on stuff i want. #and the fact that i actually WANT things. is still new to me. #its strange. #to finally experience what should have been so normal. #this is not only related to personal interests but also to. interaction with my parents ig. #ive been way more active and kind and overall present to them i think. #which could be growing up etc but i KNOW part of it is that ive just. gotten better mentally. #and its scary. #to see such a contrast between how i know i used to be and how i am now. #its so scary. #i know im changing for the better. #but its weird. #its weird to heal.

[makemeking]

I don't know why I'm still so fucking desperate for some kind of a connection when I know it's never going to happen

#if the actually likable people in this system who have some idea of how to interact with people can't do it then how could i? #i think i liked it better when people would react with fear or hate when they saw me #this indifference is. a whole different thing #why is it that people always 'care' in that they'd be really upset if you were gone #but they don't want to actually help you not be gone #or anything that you being gone would actually affect #they want you to exist but they don't really care to talk to you or how you're doing or if you're hanging by a fucking thread #they don't really want you in their lives just the knowledge that you would be there if they felt like it #aside from the reactions to it happening how would it affect you if we were dead? how many weeks would it take for it to make any differenc #why is it that we only deserve help if we beg for it #why is it that we can't just keep our mouth shut when more often than not it'll just be another radio silence another rejection #especially me #the reason i'm here is because the rejection is supposed to be my job to handle. i should be used to it #i guess i thought it might be different this time. i might have a chance from a clean slate and wouldn't be so totally fucking alone #huge shock there it's always the same and i just need to suck it up #if i want someone who cares about my fucking day i can dream him up in my head #that's the only way any of us get that anyway #one of the most convenient things about being multiple really #external people will always prioritize everything else and let you down. you can't rely on them for shit #but when you have DID you'll always have someone if not having anyone is destabilizing enough #it may be a maladaptive coping mechanism but it's the only one we have #i already hold the anger so can't someone else take care of the grief portion maybeee #pers

[spif-lol]

People can hate on Chibnall's era all they want and while it's not without it's problems I will always defend it if ONLY for it's interpretation of gender in the change from 12 to 13.

I remember being so excited for Jodie, but also so scared as to how they were going to handle her characterization as the Doctor. While Moffat did okay with Missy in the end, her original introduction was dripping with stereotypes and changes in personality which in universe boiled down to she's a girl now lol. Because of this I feared the introduction of a hyperfeminine Doctor, reinforcing sexist stereotypes that men and women are fundamentally different in some ineffable way. I feared jokes about boobs and hair, I feared a weak Doctor who had to be saved by male companions, I worried there would be a lack of personality entirely, with Chibnall trying to play it safe and make her just a blank slate. Or that she would be a rehash of an old Doctor but GIRLY with nothing really distinct to her personality beyond that.

I did not at all expect what we got. Even if the writing is in general lower standards than us fans had come to expect, Chibnall's handling of the Doctor's sudden gender change is phenomenal and I will explain why.

Top 13th Doctor gender moments:

It is so obvious that from the Doctor's point of view, she hasn't really changed. She still perceives herself the same way and finds it hard to adjust to a view of herself as a woman and often uses masculine words to describe herself out of habit. She doesn't dislike being a woman! She's just forgetful! Her regeneration is not special because of the gender change, that's just a quirk alongside the other changes every Doctor goes through when they regenerate

The way she still dresses in a distinctly Doctorish way, and leans towards flamboyant but practical masculine outfits like her suit in Spyfall in contrast to Yaz's more feminine presentation in the same situations. (Yaz isn't even that feminine either. But her dresses and blouses compared to the Doctor really stand out.)

I love how the Doctor's gender doesn't change anything about her, only how other's view her. And mostly people still treat her with respect and as an authority figure. I feel like chibnall struck a good balance between not acknowledging the gender change at all vs hitting us over the head with it. There are episodes where her being a woman is detrimental and she expresses annoyance, there are others where it causes confusion, and there's some where it opens her up to new experiences like the wedding party with Yaz's nan! But ultimately it doesn't make a difference in the Doctor's day to day

The introduction of the Fugitive Doctor as a previous regeneration but also as a female doctor with a distinct personality from thirteen! We got a multi doctor story with two badass female doctors years before it should have been possible! I hate the timeless child thing but the fugitive doctor is my beloved. Props to Chibnall for seeing the hate and people going oooh but the doctor has always been a man and responding by going nope she's been a woman before and a black woman too fuck you. actually iconic. #Season6B btw. if you even care

Idk i just think Jodie really captured the Doctor really well, while still having a unique twist on it and her portrayal really reads as a genderfluid alien in a feminine body. Like oh cool this is new but ultimately it dont matter she still the doctor

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #fugitive doctor #thinkin bout doctor who and gender #jodie whittaker

[gremlingottoosilly]

König who cheats on his wife with reader? (Whether reader knows or not is up to you.) His relationship with his wife has become rather stale now and the two can’t even sleep in the same room without an argument starting, or maybe he didn’t even want to marry her in the first place. If reader does know, he’s constantly telling her that he’s going to divorce his wife eventually.

You thought you knew better than to get involved with a military guy of his rank. It's only obvious that he had a wife - probably someone he married to get out of the barracks and to make his family shut up about settling down. Probably someone older, someone mature and respectful, and someone who could give you a few pieces of life advice before she'd known you were fucking her husband. Dick isn't even that good to betray the sisterhood, but you wanted money and you wanted attention - and getting with Konig provided you with both. You didn't know he was married, you didn't really care about him besides his money and his cock buried deep in your wet, tight pussy, but he really liked using your boobs as a shoulder to cry on. As something to bitch and moan about his failing marriage or his desire to shoot half of the KorTac personnel, or his therapist threatening to up his anxiety medications again. Now, you were honestly trying to break up with him once you realized he was married. You didn't want to be a homewrecker and you wanted something with a bit of a future instead of endless promises to leave his wife - so, you talked to Konig. Said that it was really fun and you enjoyed sex and having everything paid for, but you really needed a clean slate right now, and you wanted to quiet being the mistress from now on. He pulled out divorce papers that he prepared ever since you started the conversation with "I need to talk about our future". He pulled out the ring he had prepared since you really wanted to talk about the perspectives of your relationships. He pulled out a conversation with his wife where she is really fucking thankful for him finally signing on the divorce. You really, really started to understand how he ended up in a weird and loveless marriage in the first place. You also recognized the way his wife had barely even shown up in his life before. You can kinda see your future in her - maybe just a tad bit more pampered at first. Maybe, if you manage to last a few years, he would find himself a new obsession with longer legs and younger posture. You stare at the obsessive glint in Konig's eyes as he promises that his wife "was already taken care of" and that you can have his mom's wedding ring now. It feels awfully rusty. Maybe, you'd last more than a few years. You just hoped that "second time - the charm" won't actually work in this situation.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig #cod x reader #yandere cod

[cybernaght]

The fandom echo chamber: fanon, microanalysis and conspiracy brain 

As someone who has been in fandom spaces, on and off, for 20 years, I find some fascinating trends popping up in the last decade that I thought to be fandom-specific but clearly aren’t. So, I would like to do a little examination of where those things come from, how they are engaged with, and what it says about the way we consume media. This is a think piece, of sorts, with my brain being the main source. As such, we will spend some time down the memory lane of a fandom-focused millennial.

This is largely brought about by Good Omens. But it’s also not really about Good Omens at all.

Part one. Fanon.

The way we see characters in any story is always skewed by our very selves. This is a neutral statement, and it does not have a value judgement. It’s simply unavoidable. We recognise aspects of them, love aspects of them, and choose aspects of them to highlight based entirely on our own vision of the universe. 

Recognition comes into this. There is a reason so many protagonists of romance novels have a “blank slate” problem. Even when they do not, we love characters who are like us or versions of us that we would like to be. And when we say “we”, I also mean, “me”. 

(I remember very clearly this realisation hit me after a whole season of Doctor Who with writing which I hated utterly when I questioned why I still clung so incredibly hard to Clara Oswald as my favourite companion. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh. Well. That would do it, wouldn’t it?)

Then, there is projection, and, again, this is a neutral statement. Projection exists, and it is completely normal and, dare I say it, valid way of engaging with — well, anything. Is the character queer? Trans? Neurodivergent? Are they in love? Do they like chocolate? Are they a cat person? Well, yes, if this is what the text says, but if the text does not say anything… You tell me. Please, do tell me. Because, in that moment of projection, they are yours. 

And then, there is fandom osmosis, and that is the most fascinating one of them all, the one that is not very easy to note while you are inside the echo chamber. It’s the way we collectively, consciously or not, make decisions on who or what the characters are, what their relationships are, and what happens to them.  

(Back when I was writing egregiously long Guardian recaps on this blog I actually asked if Shen Wei’s power being learning actually was stated anywhere in the canon of the show. Because I had no idea. I have read and reread dozen of fanfics where that is the case, and at some point through enough repetition, it became reality.)

We are all kind of making our own reality here, aren’t we? 

Back when things were happening in a much less centralised manner - in closed livejournal groups, and forums of all shapes and sizes - I don’t remember there being quite as much universally agreed upon fanon. Frankly, I don’t remember much of universally agreed upon anything. But now, everything is in one place: we have this, and we have AO3, and it’s wonderful, it really is so much easier to navigate, but it’s also one gigantic reality-shifting echo chamber, with blogs, reblogs, trends, and rituals. 

Accessibility plays its part, too. If you were, say, in Life on Mars (UK) fandom between seasons, and you wanted to post your speculation fic, you had to have had an account, and then find and gain access to one of the bigger groups (lifein1973 was my poison, but ymmv), and then, if you feel brave you may post it, but also, you may want to do so from your alt account if you wanted to keep yours separate, and then you would have to go through the whole process again. And I’m not saying that fan creations then were somehow inherently better for it than fan creations now (although Life on Mars Hiatus Era is perhaps a bad example - because some of the Speculation Fic there was breathtaking), but there is something to say about the ease of access that made the fandoms go through a big bang of sorts.

(I mean, come on, I can just come here and post this - and I am certain people will read it, and this blog is a pandemic cope baby about Chinese television for goodness sake.)

The canon transformations that happen in the fandom echo chamber truly are fascinating to witness as someone who is more or less a fandom butterfly. I get into something, float around for a bit, then get into something else and move on. I might come back eventually when the need arises, but I don’t sustain a hiatus mind-state. This means that when I float away and return, I find some very intriguing stuff.

Let’s actually look at Good Omens here. Season two aired, and I found it spectacular in its cosy and anguished way; deliberately and intelligently fanfic-y in its plot building; simple but subversive, and so very tender. (I will have to circle back to this eventually, because, truly, I love how deliberately it takes the tropes and shatters them - it’s glorious). And, to me - a person who read the book, watched the first season, hung around AO3 for a few weeks and moved on - absolutely on-point in terms of characterisation. 

So imagine my surprise when the fandom disagreed so vehemently that there are actual multi-tiered theories on how characters were not in possession of their senses. Nothing there, in my mind, ever contradicted any of the stated text, as it stood. This remained a strange little mystery until I did what I always do when I flutter close to an ongoing fandom.

I loaded AO3 and sorted the existing fic by popularity. And there it was, all there: the actual earth-shattering mutual devotion of the angel and the demon; willingness to Fall; openness and long heart-aching confession speeches. There was all of the fanon surrounding Aziraphale and Crowley, which, to me, read as out of character, and to one for whom they became the reality over the last four years, read as truth. 

Again, only neutral statements here. This is not a bad thing, and neither this is a good thing, this is just something that happens, after a while, especially when there are years for the fandom-born ideas to bounce around and stew. I can’t help but think that so much of what we see as real in spaces such as this one is a chimaera of the actual source and all the collective fan additions which had time and space to grow, change, develop, and inspire, reverberating over and over again, until the echoes fill the entirety of the space. 

Eventually, this chimaera becomes a reality. 

Part two. Microanalysis 

Here are my two suppositions on the matter:

1. Some writers really love breadcrumb storytelling. 

Russel T Davies, for instance, on his run of Doctor Who (and, if you are reading it much later - I do mean the original one), loved that technique for his seasonal arcs. What is a Bad Wolf? Who is Harold Saxon? Well, you can watch very very carefully, make a theory, and see it proven right or wrong by the end of the season. 

Naturally, mystery box writers are all about breadcrumb storytelling: your Losts and your Westworlds are all about giving you snippets to get your brain firing, almost challenging you to figure things out just ahead of the reveal. 

2. We, as humans, love breadcrumbs.

And why wouldn’t we? Breadcrumbs are delicious. They are, however, a seasoning, or a coating. They are not the meal. 

Too much metaphor?

Let’s unpack it and start from the beginning.

Pattern recognition colours every aspect of our lives, and it colours the way we view art to a great extent. I think we truly underestimate how much it’s influenced by our lived experiences.

If you are, broadly speaking, living somewhere in Western/North-Western Europe in the 14th century, and you see a painting in which there is a very very large figure surrounded by some smaller figures and holding really tiny figures, you may know absolutely nothing about who those figures are, but you know that the big figure is the Important One, and the small ones are Less Important Ones, and the tiny ones are In Their Care. You know where your reverence would lie, looking at this picture. And, I imagine, as someone living in the 14th century, you may be inspired to a sense of awe looking at this composition, because in the world you live in, this is how art works. 

If you, on the other hand, watch a piece of recorded media and see the eyes of two characters meet as the violins swell, you know what you are being told at that moment. You don’t have to have a film degree to feel a sort of way when you see a green-tinged pallet used, when cross-cuts use juxtaposing images, or notice where your focus is pulled in any given shot. This stuff - this recognition of patterns - has been trained into us by the simple fact that we live in this time, on this planet, and we have been doing so long enough to have engaged recorded media for a period of time. 

As humans, we notice things. Our brains flare up when they see something they recognise, and then we seek to find other similar details and form a bigger picture. This often happens unconsciously, but sometimes it does not. Sometimes we do it on purpose: finding breadcrumbs in stories is a little bit like solving a mystery. It allows us to stretch that brain muscle that puts two and two together. It makes us feel clever. 

So yes, we love breadcrumbs, and, frankly, quite a lot of storytelling takes advantage of this. It’s very useful for foreshadowing, creating thematic coherence, or introducing narrative parallels and complexity. It’s useful for nudging the viewer into one or the other emotional direction, or to cue them into what will happen in the next moment, or what exactly is the one important detail they should pay attention to.

Because this is something media does intentionally, and something we pick up both consciously and not, it is very hard to know when to stop. We don't really ever know when all of the breadcrumbs have been collected. It becomes very easy to get carried away. There is a very specific kind of pleasure in digging into content frame by frame, soundbite by soundbite, chasing that pleasure of finding. 

But it is almost never breadcrumbs all the way down. They are techniques to help us focus on the main event: the story. I truly believe those who make media want it to reach the widest possible audience, and that includes all of us who like to watch every single thing ever created with our Media Analysis Goggles on and those who are just here to enjoy the twists and turns of the story at the pace offered to them. And I think, sometimes in our chase to collect and understand every little clue we forget that media is not made to just cater for us.

One can call it missing a forest for the trees. But I would hate to mix my metaphors, so let’s call it missing a schnitzel for the breadcrumbs. 

Part three. The Conspiracy Brain. 

If you are there with me, in the midst of the excited frenzy, chasing after all those delicious breadcrumbs, then patterns can grow, merge together, and become all-encompassing theories. Let’s call them conspiracy theories, even though this is not what they truly are.

So, why do we believe in conspiracy theories?

One, Because We Have Been Lied To. 

All conspiracies start with distrust.

If you are in fandom spaces - especially if you are in fandom spaces which revolve around a queer fictional couple - especially-especially if you have been in such spaces for a period of time, you have most certainly been lied to at one point or another. 

We don’t even have to talk about Sherlock - and let’s not do that - but do you remember Merlin? Because I remember Merlin. Specifically, I remember the publicity surrounding the first season, with its weaponised usage of “bromance” and assertions that this whole thing is a love story of sorts, and then the daunting realisation that this was all a stunt, deliberately orchestrated to gather viewership. 

And, because we were lied to in such a deliberate manner for such an extensive period of time, I genuinely believe that it forever altered our pattern recognition habits, because what was this if not encouragement to read into things? Now we are trained to read between the lines or see little cries for help where they might not be. Because we were told, over and over again, that we should.

(Yes, I think we are all existing in these spaces coloured by the trauma of queer-bating. I am, however, looking forward to a world where I can unlearn all of that.)

Two, Cognitive Dissonance.

The chain reaction works a bit like this: the world is wrong - it can’t possibly be wrong by coincidence - this must be on purpose - someone is responsible for it.

Being Lied To is a preamble, but cognitive dissonance is where it all originates. In so many cross-fandom theories I have noticed a four-step process:

A) this is not good

B) this author could not have made a mistake 

C) this must be done on purpose

D) here is why 

(Funny thing is, I have been on the receiving end of the small conspiracy spiral, and it is a very interesting experience. Not relevant to this conversation is the fact that a lot of my job revolves around storytelling. What is relevant is that my hobbies also revolve around storytelling. And one of them is DnD. Now, imagine my genuine shock when one of the players I am currently writing a campaign for noticed a small detail that did not make a logical sense within the complexity of the world, and latched on to it as something clearly indicating some kind of a secret subplot. Their thinking process also went a bit like this: this detail is not a good piece of writing — this DM knows how to tell stories well — this is obviously there on purpose. It was not there on purpose. I created a clumsy shorthand. I erred, in that pesky manner humans tend to. And, seeing this entire thought process recited to me directly in the moment, I felt somewhere between flattered and mortified.)

This whole line of thinking, I think, exists on a knife’s edge between veneration and brutal criticism, relentlessly dissecting everything “wrong”, with a reverent “but this is deliberate” attached to it like a vice, because it is preferable to a simple conclusion that the author let you down, in one way or another. 

Three, Intentionality 

I believe that there is no right or wrong way of engaging with stories, regardless of their medium, and assuming no one gets hurt in the process. While in a strictly academic way, there is a “correct” way of reading (and reading into) media, we here are largely not academics but consumers; consumption is subjective.

However, this all changes when intentionality is ascribed. 

The one I find particularly fascinating is the intentionality of “making it bad on purpose” because, as open-minded as I intend to always be, this just does not happen.

It certainly does not happen in long-form media. Even in the bread-crumb mystery box-type long-form media. 

When television programs underdeliver, they also underperform, and then they get cancelled.

If all the elements of Westworld Season 4 that did not sit together in a completely satisfactory way were written deliberately as some sort of deconstruction for the final season to explore, then it failed because that final season will now never come.

(There will likely never be a Secret Fourth Episode.)

And look, I am not here to refute your theories. Creativity is fun, and theorising is fantastic. 

But, perhaps, when the line of thought ventures into the “bad on purpose” territory, it could be recognised for what it is: disappointment and optimism, attempting to coexist in a single space. And I relate to that, I do, and I am sorry that there is even a need for this line of thinking. It’s always so incredibly disappointing that a creator you believed to be devoid of flaws makes something that does not hit in the way you hoped it would. It’s pretty heartbreaking. 

Unfortunately, people make mistakes. We are all fallible that way. 

Four, Wildfire.

Then, when the crumbs are found, a theory is crafted, and intentionality is ascribed, all that needs to happen is for it to catch on. And hey, what better place for it than this massive hollow funnel that we exist in, where thoughts, ideas and interpretations reverberate so much they become inextricable from the source material in collective consciousness. 

Conspiracy theories create alternate realities, very much like we all do here. 

So where are we now?

I am not here to tell you what is right and what is wrong; what is true, and what is not. We are all entitled to engage with anything we wish, in whichever way we wish to do it. This is not it, at all. 

All I am saying is… listen.

Do you hear that echo? 

I do. 

#fandom thoughts #fanon #good omens #good omens 2 #bbc sherlock #merlin bbc #think piece #it's been years and I still have no idea how to tag #conspiracy theories #fandom content #all fandoms

[leidensygdom]

The ways in which being asexual feels isolating

I've been pondering whether to post this or not, but I figured out I wanted to explain a bit of this experience.

So, I could go on a very long tangent on how being asexual is usually a lonely experience, and how much I've been otherized here and there- Specially in real life. How the same people that claimed to be queer (or allies) had been much weirder about my asexuality than they were about me being bi/pan or whatever.

But I think I wanna talk about how something like that bleeds in every aspect of socializing, even down to something like fandom. I stay away from fandom usually- I like to look at cool fanart and that's about it. I hate discourse, I hate drama, I hate reading people getting worked up because they're treating fanon as canon. But there's one thing I've noticed, over and over, that just sends me off my rails.

And it's how fandom tends to treat asexuality (or aromanticism). So, you get a character in some piece of media that explicitly, unequivocally, states they're either ace, aro, or both. "I do not have interest in a partner", "I don't desire to have sex nor do I enjoy the topic", whatever. And as an ace person, I do appreciate being able to see myself in media- There isn't many chases where something is established that bluntly.

Now, you decide you want to check some fanart for that. Fandoms have this tendency to make absolutely everything about shipping, even when the media they're basing it in does not revolve about that (and it's annoying, because a lot of times people aren't interested in the actual themes- It's all reduced to shipping). Suddenly, you notice people treating the aforementioned character as anything but aro or ace. It's all about shipping. "This person interacted with this other person in a way two friends would, but we gotta make this their entire personality now". Some people may instead go for "well, maybe the character is not having sex, but they're probably an absolute freak about it, studies it extensively, has encyclopedic knowledge about it-"

Now, there's of course sex-favourable aces, and that's completely valid, but it's already straying from what, canonically, the character had mentioned. Asexual or aromantic characters aren't really allowed to exist as themselves. People often see them as a blank slate to fill, to change, to fix. I could talk forever about how people react to real life aces like that. I've had people asking me incredibly invasive questions because they saw my lack of sexual attraction as something broken, something they could fix.

And I hate that! I think I'm allowed to say that I hate that! It's hard and unusual for media to cement an aro/ace character, because they're defined by the lack of interest for something, which is often hard to show. But when it does- No one seems to care. It's all shipping, it's all "well, he's gay in denial", "well, she's probably super repressed". If you took a canonically gay character and made them straight on a fanfic, you'd get angry people. Which is bound to happen when you erase representation that people identify with. But aro/ace characters are NOT even seen as queer, they're not even seen as "representation" by most people. You can erase that bit of it, put some god awful shipping on top, and people will applaud you. And it sucks!

I wish people would see being aro or ace as an identity worth respecting, not an identity that needs overwriting. It feels a bit too close to how people often treat aro/aces irl, and it sucks. It reeks of this sort of exclusionism, where "aro/aces are technically queer but it's queer lite at best, it's less interesting than being gay, and we kinda don't want them near us anyhow". Again, I've had far worse experiences about being ace than I have about not being straight.

Sorry if the post got long, but I hope this experience may at least resonate with other people who have been struggling with this, too. It has always felt just kind of lonely to be ace, and see how little people do even consider it an identity, even when it comes down to something like fandom.

#lgbt #lgbtq #asexual #asexuality #aromantism #aro #ace #aroace #aromanticism #queer #long post