#should i put this in my vent tag...?

[emberglowfox]

being obsessed with an oc story is such a different experience than i understood before mine. ESPECIALLY if its a story you want to tell and therefore can't 'spoil'. it's much much different from a fandom fixation, in my opinion. like.

i have poured my heart and soul into this story and i am unbelievably proud of it. it's been over a year and it's still not finished and i feel like i've gotten nowhere. content of it brings me immeasurable joy. i have to make all of that content myself, or pay for it, or get incredibly lucky when people get interested enough to draw some themselves. i think about it for literal hours a day, almost every day. i can't think about anything else. people talking about it with me is one of the most joyful experiences i've had. i think i've fully exhausted the people close to me with it and i don't blame them. this is maybe the most dedicated i've ever been to something. i don't share interests with my friends anymore and i'm scared i'll fall out of relevance. i created these characters. i feel like they're real. i came up with this plot thread. the characters told me it would happen, and i had little say. they're me. they're not. i feel like it's controlling me. i let it. it lives in my head in the realest, most physical sense. i let it. i love it. i won't leave. i can't leave. i'm not sure anymore if i'm the spider, the web, or the fly

#i've stepped back from using the word hyperfixation because i'm not sure where on the neurodivergent scale i fall #(in terms of conditions that experience hyperfixations) #but there's not a lot of words that capture that similar intensity of investment that aren't similarly charged #this is a bit silly and prose-y but i wanted to talk about it #ftr i talk about this w my friends and think about it FAR more than i post about it Anywhere #for aforementioned reasons and also its just. so unbearably constant #sparks speaks #should i put this in my vent tag...? #oh the wonderful joy of being a creator

[charrfie]

#im so sad it was such a good ask blog too but my mood has been so severely impacted by it i literally could not handle it anymore #big surprise your favorite character being put through constant and severe turmoil is emotionally damaging. who wouldve guessed #it makes me sad people are so fucking mean too :^( #<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along #like sure cute aggression yeah whatever but some of yall are straight up cruel for no reason. ill never understand it #i really wish i had the heart to keep following this blog bc its such a huge and beautiful passion project... but im sensitive:^( #even if its fictional #sorry to the mutual i had to break </3 wahhhh #late night personal posting. goodnight #laika originals #oh should i tag this as uhhh #vent #? kind of not really im just talking here

[icantalk710]

This semi-mild cold has been an annoying start to this week 🤧😪

#ore no kao #feels mostly gone now after being in its clutches since sunday night #but on the bright side i got to skip the Tues/Wed office days and work from home all week #lots of sneezing and congestion with a very brief fever yday--likely thanks to my roomie's four day/nyquil pills #but phew #also finally almost caught up on work emails 📧 #and just put out a vid for a ygo project i've been working on over on my sideblog for the interested #so feeling better 😌 #(now to finally sleep 💤) #[should not tag-vent-rb before bed] #let's see if i feel up to a jog tmrw finally #[also jeez my nostrils need some r&r 😩] #(clarification: day/nyquil pills *keeping it from being worse probably lol) #if you read this far into my tags you are now imagining a smiling corgi doggo :)

[spookythesillyfella]

tony prepared the cereal !! sketch added the toppings !! and colin is a coward who won't eat what his partner and his sibling prepared for him !!

★ [ audio from "The Endorsed Frosted Crispy Sweets Prized Pals Commercial" – @/partycoffin on tumblr]

#sometimes i sit . and i think that i should put the phone down and never make content again #the dread of being the only person who cares about my stuff is consuming me every day and i just want someone who would love to hear me – #– rant about the guys for absolutely no reason . no one really has the time for me so i just feel sorta strange #i dunno #i guess venting in the tags of my posts makes me feel better but it just feels like attention-seeking behavior #then again i assume no one reads my tags anyways #whatever #little guys who give me brainrot stuff #dhmis #dhmis art #dhmis au #high voltage au #dhmis sketchbook #sketchbook dhmis #dhmis hv sketchbook #dhmis tony #tony the talking clock #dhmis hv tony #dhmis colin #colin the computer #dhmis hv colin #i guess having some more free time and going to comicon is coming up #so that's neat i suppose #im planning on painting my nails neuvillette color [blue and white] :3 #okay bye-bye guys #drink water #i love y'all #<3

[anglerflsh]

consequences of living in a panopticon

#[.art] #self #vent tag #making this unrebloggable but putting it here anyways for the catharsis of it #mistakes were made and things were in disorder and I'm imploding about it. Anyways I'm going to listen to documentaries #'mistakes' the terrible ordeal of my things not being in order when she checked out of nowhere when they should be in order #because my things should always be in order and they were not. And patently that's my fault for not checking myself I can see that #good lord. I'll have a smaller wardrobe from october and I can put my efforts into keeping that in order and this won't happen ever again

[crabussy]

I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy

#it's ok to reblog this post and ignore the rant in the tags I don't mind at all /gen #hi guys #got another load of trauma from school #and I am not dealing with it well at all my legs have been shaking so badly for 4 hours now #had a panic attack so bad that my face went numb and the edges of my vision went black and my legs gave way #I hate my teacher she's horrible god I can't even go into it here there's so much #I'm tired of getting abused at school I've been to half a dozen schools and have not gotten traumatised at ONLY ONE OF THEM #I have no adults I can go to about this #whenever I try to talk with her and the head teacher about the situation and why I'm fucking terrified of her she acts so patient and kind #whenever I'm alone with her she will yell at me about everything I'm doing wrong and continue yelling even when I'm in tears #she will berate me and put me down and insult me directly #when she gives feedback she always puts effort into making it hurt #the language she uses for negative feedback is never what a teacher should say it's always personal and uses your weaknesses to hurt you #I get really bad intrusive thoughts about her hurting me physically because of how terrified I am of her #the worst part is she acts nice and sweet whenever she's not picking apart my weaknesses and being cruel about my disabilities #I felt so sick after that I haven't eaten since #vent tw #trauma tw #listen to my gibberish boy #ggod I hate this school

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

...

#trying /really really hard/ not to let the overuse of terms such as 'secular' bug me here at school #but honestly I'm starting to get annoyed with it :') #ugh dear Lord I am trying SO HARD not to be argumentative and annoying and avoid my real problems in life by being snarky and unteachable #but it is HARD SOMETIMES LOL #bc I really want to argue #I really need the energy release it provides #even when I don't really care about the subject being argued about #college complaining #I think I'm using a different tag by accident every time lol #I'm trying so hard to grow up and put away childish things but I'm feeling so worn out. the problems aren't fixed. #and venting on tumblr isn't fixing it but I don't want to ask to schedule another appointment with my councilor bc I know it costs a lot #and I don't want to burden anyone here at school with my problems. that's self-seeking isn't it? and it's not fair to expect other people t #fix my problems. #I should turn to Christ alone since He should be enough for me. right? #I don't know and I hope I'm not being rude or blasphemous but I'm tired some of the depression/anxiety symptoms are showing up again #and I don't want to go back to shaking in fear and not being able to get out of bed for days in a row

[beetrootsoupdragon]

hmmm.

#vent in tags #turns out my only friend is actually really ableist and queerphobic #like i guess i should have realised that when she called me a slur #but i just excused it #like i excused her being really mean to me #like theres a line between playful joking and trying to insult the other person #and she made a joke abt me being autistic (bad joke to make) so i told her i actually was autistic and she was weird around me the rest of #the day but then near the end she started beingreally rude to me #including saying something like “i have too small of a mental capasity to be a good friend” or something #and like #shes never said anything like this until i told her i was autistic #plus she has always been weird abt me not using excact labels and just referring to my gender and sexuality in general terms #and she was really really weird abt me being trans #and she was so weird when she found out abt my sh #and i actually hate being around her #she makes me feel so bad abt myself wtff #i put up with it bcs i have no other friends #we're not a good friendship bcs she wants so much more from me than i can give and she refuses to give anything back #idk what to do abt it bcs there is. no way ill be able to just stop talking to her #shes really good at forcing me to spend time with her #idk shes actually really manipulative

[thevalkyriewarrior]

I hate the feeling of not being broken enough.

Of feeling like there's always going to be someone else who needs attention and comfort more than you

That you're less important because you're holding yourself together better

#valkyrie talks #some sort of vent tag #I'll be fine #this feeling will pass #i'm just really in my feelings right now and it sucks #for various different reasons this one is just on the forefront of my brain right now #and also the reason I'm avoiding trying to sleep #but Maybe with writing it out I might be able to let it go. #i just kinda wish I could be someone's priority sometimes. #it feels like my time with others is always cut short because someone else needs them more #and they do #and I don't want them to go without the care and support they need #but I wish I could say 'I need attention' #i wish that sometimes every now and then it's my feelings that are put first #i feel so selfish for thinking this way #i don't want my friends to be hurt #I just.... Sometimes feel like I'm the least broken #like that chipped tea cup post #i should go to bed I have work in the morning.

[conanssummerchild]

being alive is soooo embarrasing like oh no i cant handle loud noises like everyone else can oh nooo

#not tagging this bcs it feels ableist #only in an internalised way tho #like picture s3 mike wheeler #that kinda internalised self hatredy vibes #its not even just the shit i cant handle that everyone else can #its everything #i was cold today and i had to give myself a pep talk in my head to ZIP UP MY JACKET #LIKE WTF #everything abt having needs even the most basic ones make me wanna die #i talk abt how great it'll be when i move out of my parents house and can accomodate myself #but i dont know if i'll ever be able to #bcs it just feels so wrong #i dont deserve it #idk #alex is an idiot #alex says shit #i should make a vent tag atp #ive just been struggling so much lately with literally Everything #sorry to those who hv had to put up with me #alex shouts into the void #alex's autism

[goofyjelly]

He is. Quite literally me

#IM FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #tbf i think all of my tumblr is a genuine cry for help- #these gifs are an actual portrayal of myself mentally at this exact moment in tims #time* fuck #jeeeeeez louise #zoowee mama #living vicariously through spock in these gifs specifically #thank you Ethan Peck for this acting performance so i dont go Actual ApeShit #im exaggerating of course #sort of #yk what i mean #I don't do outbursts- like i wouldnt go ape shit #but i think i should be allowed to #as a treat #omfg im venting in the Tumblr tags AGAIN #i need to Stop 💀😭 #BUT DO I? ITS MY BLOG AND *I* GET TO CHOOSE THE AMOUNT OF PERSONAL INFO I PUT IN THE TAGS #Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #<- manifestation of me screaming #okay mutuals keep scrollin- IM FINE DW #life just kicks you in the head sometimes #yall know how it be #i dont wanna end these tagsssss #cus thatll mean i need to go exist moreeeeeeeeeeeeee #guhhhh #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #goofy jelly thoughts #' family is fun 😀 ' #and today was going welllllllllll #minus the usual Horrors but yk ive grown to expect thoseee

[rose022]

yo anyone ever feel so anxious you feel like throwing up. i dont think this should happen a lot. oops.

#idk #emetophobia #in case #and uhhh ig #vent #since i said id start tagging these #wven tho this isnt thay bad i dont think #just a lil teeny bit worried about finishing my thing in time #<- guy who thinks they should be put down

[dreamerlynx]

.

#sigh. puts up the barricades please I do not want to see d.nf on my dash #and again I do have it super filtered #I’m just soooo tired every little thing being HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH until the next thing bc of course that didn’t happen #and life went on as usual #look I get it I’m the minority I’m aroace and easily exhausted by shipping esp real ppl shipping #but it’s times like this I miss the lore fandom bc man the complete focus on platonic dynamics and relationships was so nice #look if they ever actually say they’re dating I guess I’ll eat my words but so far I am not getting the sense that that will ever happen #and so it is extremely annoying to want to follow drm fans and get 90% of One Single Ship #and no sap except as third wheel for said ship #sorry I’m the only one who seems to not care abt George 😭😭 not in a bad way just. he’s fine and funny sometimes I guess but #I Just Don’t Care. and also another thing I need to get off my chest #why do ppl act like George is really shady and passive aggressive and ‘oh he should interact w X person who wronged drm he’d ROAST THEM!’ #like huh #George is one of the most Don’t talk about anything be vague be private ppl ever #I’m not saying he hasn’t had his moments of public support for drm but I just don’t get it #(it’s probably because he’s so vague and noncommittal that fans can just project their own feelings onto him) #sigh anyway I’m done that makes me feel better a bit #no tags just venting #<- it’s funny that became my venting tag now that I only vent in tags #bc some things such as this I am afraid to even put under read more lol

[killuaisaprincess]

Everyone always whines and cries how everyone ignores G//on

AND IF YOU DARE TO BRING UP KIS TRAMUA THEY ARE LIKE BUT WHAT ABOUT G

What about g KIS FANS ARE ANNOYING THEY SAY

Omg WHAT ABOUT G

MEANWHILE BACK WHEN I WAS ON A BLOCKING SPREE ALL I EVER SEE IS ANALYSIS POSTS ECT ABOUT G G AND HIM AND HIS TRAMUA AND THE BOTH TOGETHER MAYBE BUT KI ALONE MAYBE 1

SO I DO NOT EVEN WANNA HEAR IT

AND LET KI FANS CARE ABOUT KI

JUST LIKE U CARE ABOUT G

Stg these people wanna act like Ki’s life is so easy and CAA wasn’t hard on Ki CUZ WHAT ABOUT G

#personal #DONT CARE HATS OFF #KIDDIE GLOVES OFF #Damm if I could block every kg person and every G Stan in existence I would #CUZ GOD FORBID ANYONE WANNA TALK ABOUT KI #AND I DONT EVEN LIKE HOW MOST PEOPLE TALK ABOUT KI OR KI STANS #DONT LIKE EM EITHER BUT GOD FUCKING DAMM #THESE PEOPLE #vent #stg I am so cut off from fandom I don’t really see this dumb shit anymore #BUT I’m sadly still subjected from it from time to time #AND I CANNOT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE #there are no tags so it won’t be going in anyone’s tags and there are slashes so just let a girl vent #I hate this fandom so I ain’t #TRUST ME I avoid it #I’m a smart person I know better than to interact with shit I hate #I try so hard I forget it exists outside my two people #plus honestly I am too old to care #Idc if kg is popular I hate it and it isn’t canon #idc if people say u should love G and he’s sooooo underrated Ki will always be my fave #AND I WILL PUT KI IN DRESES AND I WILL MAKE HIM SHORT AND I WILL DO #EVERYTHING FANDOM DOESNT CUZ #who are they? I may have 2 followers and a dream but even if they all have 60k #they aren’t Beyoncé theyre just another human the end #Besides do I really care about people’s opinions with 60k tweets I don’t think so lol #and this is from me who is like OBSESSED #but even I know how to touch grass I may be to poor too #but I’ll play games and watch movies #KI WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER 1 #but I try and touch grass sometimes

[fancy-marshmallow]

I NEED A NORMAL STOMACH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#like GIRL. make up your mind already!!! #my stomach is like ohhhhh noooooo I'm soooooo hungry ... but if you put anything in me I will kill you personally #if you eat anything thats not the perfect tastiest flavor suffer the curse of eternal misery!!!!!!!!!! but if you eat anything with sugar #STABBING PAIN! #like stop it please. I'm trying to pass all my classes 😭 #I have seen multiple doctors and theyre all like oh you should eat more YEAH NO SHIT!!!!!!!! THATS WHY I"M HERE?? CAN YOU HELP ME??? #its so fucking annoying #stop trying to tell me having a stabbing pain in my stomach when I drink water is normal. because I am absolutely positive it isn't #yknow i came up with a tag for when I'm discussing my health issues but I forgot it so. sorry #vent #kind of #fancy thoughts

[meep--tm]

:)

#putting this in tags bc i dont want ppl to rb me complaining! #this is gonna sound vent-y because it kinda is?? but i havent had anything to post in so long bc art is just #SO hard rn #im working part time and as a disabled person it's really draining #and all of my artistic energy has had to go towards zine work #just so i dont miss deadlines #+ my ipad is like. the worlds oldest crying baby. it doesnt like me anymore #+ im so bad at connecting with/talking to people online that i kinda feel like im posting to.. no one... recently... #IDK! im okay! i dont need comforting i just wanted to throw smth out there for anyone who might follow my art close enough to care #im gonna be doing merch prep to potentially table at cons soon so hopefully that should give me things to share! #im just feeling a bit demotivated :( #ill probably delete this post in a day or two but theres ur lil Meepdate (meep update