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pearlsephoni · 9 months

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At the End of the Sun, Chapter 12: A Brief Return

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Natsu Hinata, Mama Hinata

Word Count: Chapter: 7.4k; Whole Work: 160k

Summary: A bit of good news finds Shoyo venturing away from his and the wolf's isolated home for the first time since his arrival in the mountains.

A/N: Originally published on AO3 on February 18th. Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

The next day, by some blessed stroke of luck, the wolf returned from the mountain with news that the yamakumo plants had not only survived the storm, but had held onto enough flowers for Natsu. Even better, true to his word during the storm, he really did only need one more week to gather the last blossoms.

He appeared at the fence just as the sky began to turn pink, startling Shoyo with the sudden streak of black he made through the yard. “Take this,” he huffed when he skidded onto the engawa. The bag around his neck swung with his heaving breaths, forcing Shoyo to take an extra few beats to untie it and spread the contents over the flower-drying mat.

“Oh…spirits, we—!” He bustled around to gather the rest of the already-dried flowers, laying down another sheet before spreading the delicate petals and leaves and roots out.

“We have enough,” Shoyo breathed. The spread of leaves and flowers made a weight lift off of Shoyo’s shoulders, a weight he hadn’t even noticed until it was already gone. “We…we finally have enough.” He turned to the wolf with a smile so wide, his cheeks ached. “Natsu will be okay! If I can take this home—”

“You can’t.”

A spike of horror stabbed through Shoyo. “…What?”

The wolf avoided his eyes, staring instead at the leaves with his ears pressed flat against his head. “I’ll take it to her. You…you still have a few more months with me, it hasn’t been a year yet.”

Understanding smoothed away the shock, making an unsteady smile rise to Shoyo’s lips. “I’ll come back. I wouldn’t go back on our deal, and I don’t want to. I want as much time with you as possible, Okami-san.”

Just like that, the wolf’s eyes jerked to Shoyo’s, ears pricking up with surprise. “…Oh.”

Shoyo moved towards him to smooth his hand over the black fur that was still raised over his neck. “Let me go home,” he murmured, smiling as he watched those blue eyes flicker closed with his pets. “Let me see my family, and give the medicine to Natsu, and then I’ll come back. I promise.”

A sigh huffed out of the wolf, before he leaned his head against Shoyo’s hip. “…Okay. But you have to come back in a week.”

“Alright.”

“And you can’t tell them anything about…me. And what I become at night.”

That made Shoyo’s hands pause, his fingers tightening just a bit in soft, thick fur. “Why not?”

“It’s bad enough that I’m the strange wolf that took you away. Your family doesn’t need more reasons to distrust me.”

His heart clenched with pity and understanding, but Shoyo was careful to not let any of it show on his face as he sank to his knees and looked the wolf in the eye. “You’re not just the wolf that took me away,” he reminded him. “You’re the wolf who’s been keeping them safe, and you’re the reason my sister will live.”

The wolf’s ears twitched, and his voice sounded just a bit less tight when he murmured, “Still. Please just…don’t tell them. And come back soon, Sho.”

“That’s not fair,” Shoyo laughed softly. “You can’t just call me that to get what you want.”

“I can if it means I’ll have you back sooner.”

Oh, what Shoyo would do to be able to press a comforting kiss to the shadow’s lips in that moment. Instead, he had to settle for resting his forehead against the space between the wolf’s ears. “You will. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Good.” There was a gentle lick at his throat before the wolf pulled away. “It’ll be dark soon. If you pack now, we can leave at first light.”

Shoyo couldn’t resist letting a knowing smile pull at his lips. “Trying to get one more night with me?”

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t get lost in the dark, dumbass,” the wolf grumbled. “Why? Do you have a problem with spending another night together?”

He didn’t. Even if he did, the shadow would’ve wiped those problems away the moment his arms slid around him that night. They didn’t do anything, didn’t let their hands wander. Shoyo had even forced himself to properly wear his yukata, knowing anything less would lead to him giving in to the shadow and getting no rest.

Their kisses were slow, tender, almost lazy with how languid they were. There was no urgency, no bright flames of need, just a sense of safety and certainty in their love that made Shoyo press closer and hold tighter.

“Will you come see them with me?” he murmured into the hollow of the shadow’s throat.

“No…I’ll just take you to the edge of your woods. This is the first time they’re seeing you in almost ten months, I don’t want to get in the way of that.” He smoothed a gentle hand over Shoyo’s hair, moving his bangs for him to press a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t worry about me. Just enjoy your time together and come back to me in a week.”

“I will.” Shoyo brushed his lips against the shadow’s pulse. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” His words were punctuated with a surprised squeak from the shadow pinching at his waist. “Hey!”

“Quit saying stupid shit.”

“You think everything I say is stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“Wha— don’t agree with me, you jerk!” He pounced on the shadow, pushing him to his back and straddling his waist to the sound of his grunt. “Take that back!”

“No.”

“You’re so mean, Okami-san,” Shoyo sniffed. “It’s like you won’t even miss m—mmf!” His words were cut off by the shadow’s stubborn lips, licking into his mouth like he was trying to steal his words directly from his tongue.

Shoyo melted into him, helpless against his slow kiss and his hands curving him into his body. “I said,” the shadow grumbled when Shoyo was well and truly kiss drunk, “stop saying stupid shit.”

“Make me.”

When he fell asleep that night, his lips were swollen from kisses and his arms were wrapped tight around the shadow. They felt uniquely empty the next morning, though his usual pang at waking up alone was eased by the sight of the wolf sitting by the genkan, tail neatly settled around his paws. “We should go soon,” he said by way of greeting.

Shoyo didn’t bother teasing him beyond a snort. “Give me some time to change and eat, and we’ll go.”

They left just as the sky was shifting from pink and orange into a light purple and blue. Shoyo had only tread the magically-manipulated path between his home and the wolf’s home once before, but it still felt surreal to walk it again. It was bad enough that he’d already spent a full year in Edo. Now it had been several more months, almost another year, since he’d seen his mother and sister. And unlike the daimyo’s pilgrimages, these months away had left Shoyo feeling deeply, fundamentally changed.

Maybe it was the effect of being isolated with the wolf. Maybe it was the effect of realizing magic was real. Maybe it was the effect of falling in love. But for the first time in years, he felt nervous to see his family again. What if he wasn’t who they remembered? What if they didn’t like who he’d become?

“Shoyo.”

“Huh?” He jolted out of his thoughts to see the wolf at his side, not leading the way. “What?”

“Quit thinking so hard, it’s not good for you.”

“Fuck off,” he laughed with a gentle shove at the wolf.

The wolf rocked with the shove with nothing more than his soft huff, before pinning Shoyo under a sharp, observant gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He frowned at the wolf’s disbelieving growl. “Honestly, I’m fine! Just…nervous I guess.”

“Why? You’ve spent longer away from them, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, but…this is different.” Shoyo’s fingers sought the wolf’s soft fur like an instinct, and the wolf tilted his head into his touch just as easily. “This time I have you.”

The wolf fell quiet, his flicking ears brushing Shoyo’s wrist and fingers as the meaning of his words sank in. He only spoke again after licking at his fingertips. “…Calling me a bad influence?”

Shoyo blinked in surprise, but the sight of the wolf’s lazily swinging tail and pricked up ears told him he was joking. “You said it, not me.”

“Oi.”

“I’ve spent almost a year living with a wolf. Who knows what kind of wild habits I’ve picked up?”

“Oi!” A warning nip at his fingers made Shoyo laugh and begin running away, leaving behind a bewildered wolf. “Wai— dumbass, you can’t run faster than a wolf!!”

“Prove it!”

“You little—” With a grumble, the wolf broke into a run, chasing after Shoyo down the winding path and over logs and rocks that got in their way. The snow that was still on the ground cushioned Shoyo’s steps, but also made him work harder to hurry forward. The wolf had an unfair advantage with his paws that were better suited to running on snow, and in a frankly-embarrassing few minutes, he was knocking his head into the backs of Shoyo’s knees.

The snow was thick enough for Shoyo to feel safe letting himself fall to his hands and knees, though it also seeped into his pants and made him shiver with the icy cold. “You jerk!” he laughed, trying and failing to pin the wolf under a glare. He couldn’t do it, not when the wolf was playfully lowering his face to Shoyo’s while his tail wagged eagerly.

“That’s what you get,” the wolf sniffed, satisfaction clear in every word.

With their silly chase distracting him, Shoyo didn’t take note of the trees around them until he pushed himself to his feet and properly looked around. His heart leapt at the sight of that familiar, paper-like bark and the stubborn moss still visible beneath the melting snow. “We’re close!”

“Oh.” The wolf gazed down the path, nose up in the air before he gave a slow nod. “Yeah…yeah, we are.”

His reluctance was obvious, and it tempered Shoyo’s burst of excitement. He stepped forward to give a comforting scratch behind the wolf’s ears, a smile pulling at his lips when the wolf leaned into his touch. “C’mon,” he whispered.

The moment they stepped out of the woods and laid eyes on the house, Shoyo felt all his nerves get washed away by a bone-deep sense of relief and comfort. A year would never be enough to change the instinctive feeling of being home.

“Go ahead,” he heard by his hip. He looked down to see the wolf sitting in that polite way of his, ears quivering as if he were fighting the instinct to lower them. “I’ll see you in a week.”

Before the wolf could disappear into the woods, Shoyo crouched in front of him and scruffed the thick fur at his neck. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he murmured, resting his forehead against the wolf’s.

“That’s impossible, dumbass,” the wolf rumbled. “Just…get back safe. Enjoy your family.”

A gentle lick at his throat made Shoyo’s heart squeeze as he pressed his lips to the soft space between the wolf’s eyes. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered into the fur.

“Me, too.”

“Try to keep the house clean and yourself fed, okay?” He giggled at the teeth harmlessly pressing at his jaw.

“Dumbass,” the wolf repeated, fondness clear in his voice and shining from his eyes. “Go, Shoyo.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” With one last kiss to his head, Shoyo slowly pushed himself to his feet and readjusted the pack on his shoulders. “See you soon.”

“See you.” When Shoyo still didn’t walk away, the wolf nudged his leg with a small growl, pushing him, laughing, into the first steps away.

He turned away, determined not to look back at the wolf—he couldn’t be certain he wouldn’t run back for one more hug. But he broke right at the entrance to the yard, looking over his shoulder at the forest.

There, right at the edge of the trees, sat the wolf, as neat and prim as he’d looked the first time they met. When he noticed Shoyo looking, he stood up and let out a sound somewhere between a bark and a howl, before turning and disappearing into the trees. It was like he’d known Shoyo would be tempted to run back to his side.

So he made the choice for him, leaving Shoyo standing alone at the edge of his childhood home.

“Shoyo?!”

He whirled towards the surprised gasp, and was treated to the sight of his mother standing frozen on the engawa, a broom in hand.

There was a beat, a breath, where neither of them moved. Then, in a burst of movement, she was dropping the broom and running across the yard, heedless of her house socks and thin yukata. By the time the broom hit the wood porch, Shoyo was being grabbed into the tightest, warmest hug he’d gotten in almost a year. “Hi, Mom,” he choked into her shoulder, her arms wrapping a little too tight around his shoulders and back.

“Oh…oh my goodness…my baby…is it really you?” Just as abruptly as she’d grabbed him, she pulled away, holding him firmly by the shoulders and giving him a thorough scan.

When her eyes met his, he let a bright smile stretch across his face. “Hi.”

“Shoyo,” she breathed, gazing at him in what he could only describe as “awe.” “How are you here? It hasn’t been a year, did something happen?”

“Sort of…but a good something!” he quickly reassured her when he saw panic flash in her eyes. “I’ll tell you inside, you’re gonna freeze out here.”

“I can’t freeze when I’ve got my little sun back,” she cooed. She pulled him back in, pressing countless kisses to his temple and cheek before she let him hook his chin over her shoulder.

He laughed the entire time, letting her rock him back and forth and enjoying holding her again. The feeling of her shivering in his arms finally made him pull away. “You’re shivering, Mom, let’s go inside.”

She acquiesced, though not without winding their arms together, sticking close to his side on the walk back into the house. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?” she murmured, her low voice doing nothing to hide the tremble from her shivers.

“We got the yamakumo,” Shoyo murmured back. “The wolf picked it all, and I dried it out. Natsu will be okay.”

His mother froze, gaping at him with wide eyes and only moving when Shoyo gave a gentle tug at her arm. “It’s done?” she gasped.

“It’s done!”

“Then you’ll stay home?”

“Ah…no.” His heart sank at the way her smile faltered, then tightened. “I made a deal, Mom. My year’s not done.”

“But…I thought that maybe…” She sounded so disheartened, almost defeated, that Shoyo desperately wanted to explain everything: the wolf’s strange circumstances, how Shoyo suspected they tied into the year-long deal, and the way it all somehow led to him falling in love with the wolf.

But the memory of the wolf’s low request for his secrecy kept Shoyo from confessing everything. All he said was, “I’ll be okay. It won’t be for much longer, and he…if I had to do this with anyone, I’m glad it’s him.”

He could see his mother fighting the urge to argue and try to convince him to break off the deal. She gazed at him with sad eyes, and he met them steadily, until she sighed and tugged his head down for another kiss. “You’re a better person than me, sweetheart.”

“Don’t say that, Mom.” Before she could insist, he bustled her into the house, grabbing the broom from the engawa on the way and balancing it against the wall of the genkan. “How’s Natsu doing?”

“Nii-chan!!”

As if summoned, Natsu was smiling at him from the bottom of the stairs, her eyes sparkling despite the sweat beading on her forehead and the slow, careful breaths she was drawing. Her cheeks looked like they ached from how wide her smile was, and Shoyo knew she wanted nothing more than to run and jump on him like she’d always done.

But because of her weakened lungs, Shoyo was the one to run up, sweeping her up in his arms with a sung, “Natchaaaaaan!” Her laughter rang around the room, though he had to quickly set her down and rub her back when her coughs overwhelmed her giggles.

“Shoyo—”

“Sorry,” he interrupted, sending their mother a guilty grimace. “I couldn’t resist!”

“It’s okay,” Natsu croaked, her weak voice offset by the return of her bright smile. “Nii-chan, why’re you back?”

“That’s the first thing you say to me?” Shoyo gasped. “Maybe I should leave!”

“Nooooo,” Natsu whined between peals of laughter. “I didn’t mean it like that!!”

“I know, I know.” He brushed a few stray strands out of her glittering brown eyes. She was practically a young woman, but she still looked at him like he’d hung the moon. He dreaded the day that changed. “I’m…I’m not back for good, Natchan.”

Just like that, the shine in her eyes disappeared, washed away by stunned disappointment. “W…what? Then why…but…but you’re home.”

“I know, but it hasn’t been a year yet. Oka—uh, the wolf let me come back to make a special delivery.”

His words pulled his mother’s attention back to the pack on his back, and alerted Natsu to its presence. “What’s that?”

“Oh!” their mother gasped. “That’s right, bring it here, come, come—”

She hustled her children back up the stairs, directing them to her small workroom. It doubled as a storeroom, with a wall of sprawling shelves filled with countless labeled bottles and jars and tiny boxes. She slipped past them to spread a sheet out over the floor, before holding her hands out for the pack. Shoyo wordlessly handed it over, watching with bated breath as she carefully plucked out each sprig and blossom, laying them out with a sense of order that he could only guess at.

Several minutes passed in a silence that was only broken by the gentle rustling of the leaves and plants. For once, Shoyo was satisfied with standing still, letting Natsu lean on him as her weak lungs made it more difficult for her to continue standing. When their mother finally spoke again, her voice seemed to chip at the silence more than properly break it.

“We have enough.” She slowly turned to face them, and Shoyo’s heart stuttered at the tears in her eyes and the minuscule smile on her lips. “You did it, Shoyo. You got us enough.”

“Not me,” Shoyo murmured, instinctively matching her quiet tone, “it was Okami-san.”

“Who?”

He blinked. There was a furrow between his mother’s brows now, paired with a bemused tilt to her smile, and it made his cheeks feel on fire. “Uh…the wolf. I—I meant the wolf.”

“Oh…” The furrow disappeared as her brows rose. “You must be close now.”

Damn him and his burning cheeks. Anything he said would immediately be seen through, especially by his mother. And despite that, he still stammered, “I…yeah, I guess. Aren’t you two close with him, too? After all his visits?”

“That’s true,” his mother sighed with a soft laugh, “He’s sweet, and he clearly cares about you. That means this year hasn’t been as hard as it could’ve been.”

Relief should’ve filled him at the reassurance softening his mother’s features. But all he could feel was guilt—here was his family, no doubt worrying about him for the past several months, without realizing that he’d been spending them filled with dizzying bliss and falling in love. He tried telling himself it was a silly thing to feel guilt over—what did it matter, as long as Natsu got the medicine she needed?—but it did nothing to ease the weight in his stomach. “Yeah,” he whispered, “it…it hasn’t been hard, outside of missing you. He’s been…he’s the best person I could’ve done this with.”

He didn’t notice his slip until he saw the furrow return between his mother’s brows. Neither of them could say anything though, not before Shoyo’s attention was stolen by thin arms wrapping tight around him. “Thank you, Nii-chan.”

Her voice was so soft, so small, that Shoyo’s guilt weighed even heavier. “Don’t thank me,” he whispered, pulling her close by the shoulders and pillowing his cheek on her bright hair. “It was the easiest choice in the world. And I didn’t do the hard work—it was all the wolf.”

“But you were alone for so long.” Natsu’s voice caught, though Shoyo couldn’t tell if it was caught on the threat of tears or on a suppressed cough. He wasn’t sure which was worse. “You were alone with a stranger for a year. And he never would’ve done any of this if you didn’t agree to that.”

“Yeah, but…I wasn’t alone, not really. And he’s not a stranger, not anymore.”

It was the understatement of a century, but Shoyo didn’t know what else he could say. He certainly couldn’t confess that he’d fallen in love with the wolf, especially when both Natsu and their mother didn’t know he was really a human. Even expressing how much he cared about him felt impossible.

The little house at the foot of the mountains had truly become a bubble to him, tucked away and only popped every-so-often by the wolf’s sister. The sheer…impossibility of everything had let Shoyo get swept away in his feelings, even more so than he usually would. What did it matter that magic existed, that it had been used to trap a young man in a wolven form, that he was only truly himself at night? Shoyo was used to all of it now. He only cared about the home they’d made and the lonely, awkward, kind man he held at night and loved with all his heart. It was easy, when it felt like they were the only people in the world.

But now he was back in the real world. It was just for a week, for a whole week, the longest he’d been away from the wolf since the start of their year together. There was such a sweet joy in being back home with his family, and such a sweet agony in being parted from his wolf.

Hiding the ache in his heart made it worse, but he couldn’t let his family notice it, especially his mother. Not only would that welcome his heavy guilt back into his stomach, but it would welcome more suspicion and questions.

At least he had the comfort of home and his old chores to distract him, plus the added work of turning the yamakumo harvest into the tea and incense Natsu needed to heal. With any luck, the busy work would also make it easier for him to conceal his bittersweet longing.

☾

He lasted all of four days.

Those four days weren’t a success because of any skillful deception on his part. He only made it through them because he and his mother were so focused on preparing the teas and incense for Natsu. It was painstaking work, requiring a focus from their mother that Shoyo hadn’t seen in…he couldn’t remember how long. He worked at her side as much as she would allow him, only stepping aside when she asked him to take care of a regular household chore or when Natsu came searching for some company.

Everyday, she toiled away in her workroom, and every night, Shoyo had to carefully persuade her to go to bed, reminding her that going without sleep just increased the risk of some part of the process going wrong and damaging their precious supply of yamakumo.

All that hard work paid off. On the fourth day, their mother disappeared into the kitchen as they finished breakfast, and emerged with a tray bearing a small tea set. Understanding, hope, and anxiety robbed Shoyo of his voice, leaving him silent and wide-eyed when he caught a whiff of the steam rising from the teapot.

Natsu was a little slower to understand. “Mooooom, I don’t want tea yet. I’m still really full.”

“It’s not tea, sweetheart,” their mother murmured, “not like we usually drink.”

It took another moment for Natsu’s creased brows to smooth out, replaced by her face growing pale and her eyes widening. “...Really?! You already did it?”

“As best as I could, yes.”

For a moment, Natsu almost looked like her old self, especially with the rush of emotions washing over her face: disbelief, excitement, hope, nervousness, dread, worry, fear, gratitude, and more. “Wow,” she finally managed, her voice breathless, “you really are amazing.”

“Anyone would work this fast for their child,” their mother said almost dismissively. “Come on, drink.”

She set the tray on the table in front of Natsu and immediately set about pouring her a cup. “The flavor will be strong,” she warned her daughter as she worked, “but it’s so that you can take in as much of the nutrients in the plant as possible. If you can, try to drink the petals at the bottom as well.”

“The petals?!”

“Please, Natsu, we need to make sure you take in everything possible.”

Natsu grimaced, but she obediently took the cup and stared into its contents. “Thank you for the tea,” she murmured against the glazed clay. Then, with a final, deep breath, she tipped her head back and drank it all down with three gulps.

Shoyo felt his heart in his throat as he watched her drink…only for a laugh to burst out of him when she lowered the cup and revealed a disgusted twist to her face. “Grooooss,” she whined, “Can I have some water? Stop laughing, Nii-chan!”

“You look like you stepped into poop,” Shoyo snickered as he passed her a cup of water. “That bad?”

“The petals are stuck to my teeth,” was all she managed before chugging the water.

Their mother watched with a small, quiet smile of relief. “How do you feel?”

“I feel okay…kinda sleepy.” Natsu’s frown was confused, even though she’d been feeling sleepy for a while. “It’s different though…it’s not because of the cough.”

“Do you feel bad?”

She shook her head at Shoyo. “No…just tired. Can I go sleep, Mom?”

“Of course, love.”

Shoyo cleaned up the meal as their mother helped Natsu back up to her room. He was in the middle of sliding the table and cushions back into the closet when their mother appeared again. “How is she?”

“Out like a flame,” she laughed. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen her sleep so well.”

“That’s a good sign!” He hurried over to squeeze her into a hug. “You did it, Mom. It’s going to work.”

“I hope so,” she murmured into his shoulder, hands smoothing along his back. “It wouldn’t have happened without you, little sun.”

“It’s not just—”

“You and your wolf,” she corrected with a soft laugh. “He really was the best person to help us, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he— wait, what?”

His mother pulled away to pin him under knowing eyes and a sad smile. “You said it yourself. He was the best person you could’ve made this deal with.”

“M-Mom, that was just…it was just a slip of the tongue,” he tried to laugh. His voice just came out shaky and uncertain. “I’m not really used to a talking animal, so I guess I just…messed up a little, you know?”

“Shoyo…don’t lie to me.”

“It’s not— I’m not—!”

“Tell me the truth. He’s not just a wolf, is he?”

“I can’t…I don’t want to talk about this.” He slid out of her arms and slipped to the kitchen, listening to the sound of her footsteps following him with resignation.

“Don’t walk away from me!” she called, hot on his heels. “What is going on? You never hide from me like this, you’re worrying me!”

“I’m not hiding!” He was, down to keeping his face stolidly turned towards the wash basin as he began washing the dishes. “I just…it’s complicated, and he can’t tell me everything, and I promised I wouldn’t say anything—”

“So you’re choosing him over your mother?”

“That’s not fair, Mom!” His hands ached from how hard he was scrubbing at the dishes. “I would tell you if I could! But I made him a promise, and I can’t…I can’t break it. Not to him.”

“Sweetheart…” His mother caught his hands when he reached to pump out more water, making him turn and face her with gentle pressure. “Can you just tell me…what is he?”

“A wolf.” The words left his lips automatically, a response prepared in a pathetic attempt to protect himself against his mother’s insistent questions.

“Shoyo, look at me.” He hadn’t realized his eyes had drifted down until he obeyed the quiet order. His cold dread solidified to ice under her searching gaze. “He’s a talking wolf. Can he talk because he’s really a person?”

“I…I can’t…”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

It should’ve been the easiest thing in the world to tell her “no.” But the lie stalled in his throat, choking him and rendering him silent.

That was all she needed. “Who is he?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Don’t be silly. What’s his name, what does he look like?”

“Mom, I don’t know.”

She fell still, brows furrowed in confusion. He took his chance to slide his hands out of hers and finish washing the dishes, the clicking of ceramic chipping at the thick silence that had fallen over the kitchen.

“You…,” she finally managed, “you don’t know what he looks like?”

Again, he was silent, and again, that was all the answer she needed. “Shoyo, do you mean to tell me you’ve been living with a man you’ve never seen?”

“I’ve seen him as a wolf,” he muttered, part of him hoping his words would be buried by the sound of pumping water.

The omitted details rang clear to his mother. “You’ve never seen him as a human,” she repeated slowly, deliberately, “but you have…spent time with him? When? At night?”

His lips stayed sealed. It didn’t count for much.

“…Shoyo, are you sleeping with him?”

“Mom—”

“No, we’re done with you trying to avoid this,” she snapped. “Tell me the truth.”

“We…we sleep in the same room, yeah.” It wasn’t a lie, not really, but her narrowed eyes pushed him to keep talking before she could call him out. “And we talk. He’s less awkward as a human and he talks more in the dark. He’s a good person, Mom, he really is. I…I really…I care about him. So much. I care about him, and he’s done so much for us, and I couldn’t even keep his secret—” Guilt rose bitter like bile in his throat.

“Oh, Shoyo…” His mother’s sigh made his shoulders shoot up to his ears. She sounded so…so tired, so defeated, that he already knew what she would say next. That didn’t make it any easier to hear. “You’re in love with him.”

He didn’t mean to cry. He hadn’t even noticed his eyes stinging nor his throat aching. But the quiet, matter-of-fact statement from his mother made a sob burst from his lips before he could slap dripping wet hands over them.

“Sweetheart…” He let her coax him to her shoulder, the fabric of her yukata immediately becoming soaked from his tears. “Honey, what happened?”

“I dunno,” he sobbed, “I don’t know, he just…he’s been through so much, and he still tries so hard—he almost died getting the yamakumo, he nearly froze to death, but he kept going back, he got enough, he did that for us, and I didn’t—” He hiccuped on a sob. “I didn’t know I could feel like this, I love him so much it hurts, and I promised him, I promised I wouldn’t say anything—”

“Blame me,” she whispered, stroking gentle fingers through the back of his hair. “Blame me and my intuition. I know you too well, little sun, I could feel your worry for him this whole week. But…I’m worried, too.” She waited for his sobs to fade away before she carefully peeled him away, holding him pinned under her worn hands and sharp eyes. “If he can change from a wolf, then how do you know he doesn’t change into a monster? What if…what if he’s some sort of kitsune, or something else, something terrifying?”

Shoyo’s instinct was to refuse. Maybe he hadn’t seen the wolf’s human form, but he’d definitely felt all of him, and he was intimately familiar with the smooth skin and lean muscles that made up his body. He’d never felt any tails, nor any fur or scales or anything of the sort. Surely he could trust his sense of touch more than his sight anyway? All the folk tales he’d heard featured youkai tricking humans by looking normal. He hadn’t had the chance to be fooled that way.

But a small, traitorous part of his mind reminded him of all the secrets the wolf still insisted on, brushing off questions with the promise to explain at the end of their year together. What if one of his secrets was that he wasn’t human? Or worse, that he was human, human and someone terrible, frightening?

Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve met his sister. His sister…who also didn’t tell Shoyo anything, including her name.

He shook his head hard, as though he could physically dislodge such thoughts out of his mind. “If he wasn’t human,” he murmured, “he wouldn’t be so ashamed of whatever happened to make him like this. I trust him, and he trusts me. He…he loves me, Mom.”

His heart clenched at the shine of tears in his mother’s eyes and the sad smile on her lips. “You are so like your father,” she sighed, cupping his face and brushing her thumbs over his tears, “so recklessly trusting and desperately faithful in the good in people.”

“Is…that a good thing?”

“I hope it is. I really do.”

☾

Within the three remaining days Shoyo had at home, he could already see and hear an improvement in Natsu. She still wasn’t able to go hunting or run her usual errands in town, but she could go up and down the stairs without assistance, which meant, for the first time in months, she could actually put away her futon and come do some mending by the fire pit in the main room. More often than not, she still ended up falling asleep, slumping sideways until Shoyo caught her and gently lowered her to the floor with a folded blanket beneath her head. But seeing her move around the house again made it feel like summer had arrived in the middle of winter, and the sight of her napping by the fire instead of holed up in her room brought a lightness to their mother’s features that Shoyo hadn’t been sure he’d ever see again.

The thought of being the one to wipe her relief away made guilt taste bitter on his tongue. But the thought of leaving the wolf waiting, worried and alone, if he put off his return felt even worse.

“Tomorrow?!” both mother and sister gasped over breakfast.

“Yeah…I promised I’d come back after a week,” Shoyo murmured, a little too focused on picking the last grain of rice from his bowl.

“But…but what if…”

“There’s some shopping I need to do while I can leave Natsu with you,” their mother interrupted Natsu’s sad stammers. “Do you mind, Shoyo?”

“Of course not!” He could only hope his nervous suspicion wasn’t clear in his voice or eyes. Thankfully, his mother seemed a bit preoccupied as they worked together to clean up their breakfast, and a look at Natsu showed him that he wasn’t the only one bewildered by her sudden urgency.

“Has she really not gone into town since I left?” he asked Natsu once their mother had left.

She shook her head, a tiny furrow appearing between her brows. “She only goes to a shop or two because she doesn’t want to leave me alone for too long, but…she’s definitely gone…”

Foreboding curled in Shoyo’s stomach, tightening into a knot when their mother returned and was strangely secretive with her purchase.

The next day, he was proven right to be nervous. His mother had already insisted on him taking a seemingly endless supply of medicines and herbs that didn’t grow near the mountains, a gesture he appreciated, but that also forced him to spend a little extra time to pack everything carefully within the things he’d already brought himself.

He was just tucking the last bottle between the folds of his packed clothes when his mother appeared at the cracked-open shoji screen to his room. “Almost done?”

“Almost,” he hummed, sitting back on his heels to sweep his gaze around the room in one last scan.

“Sweetheart…” The quiet call brought his attention back to his mother, who was watching him almost nervously. “Have you been sleeping alright? Are you still having those dreams?”

His eyes widened, and he felt his cheeks burn with a flush. How could he explain the way the dreams had changed? What would she say if he told her that the manifestation of his familial duty had changed, morphing into the wolf and everything they meant to each other?

He couldn’t explain. He didn’t want to explain, especially after their tense conversation. So he just nodded and said, “Yeah, but…they’re not so bad now. I think…I think living with the wolf has helped? The dreams don’t bother me as much anymore.”

At the mention of the wolf, his mother’s lips pressed flat, but all she said was, “Well, that’s good. I still got you something that might help. Do you have space for one more thing?”

His brows furrowed, but he still nodded, silently watching her slip into the room and kneel next to him. She was gingerly holding a small package wrapped up in a pale green cloth. “I…I got this yesterday. I want you to take it, just in case.”

Uneasiness prickled hot and uncomfortable through him, even as he took the package and quietly laughed, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Yes, I did.”

The short answer and solemnity in her eyes pushed Shoyo to carefully unwrap the package. What fell into his lap made his uneasiness harden into thorns pressing against his skin.

First was a candle holder, a thin dish with a spike in the center for the candle and a small circle at the edge just big enough for his finger. Then, falling with a quiet clink, came a candle.

It was unlike any candle he’d ever seen, small and slender with delicate patterns carved into the sides. And its color…it was a color between blue and green, like the color of the sky on a cloudless day, or the sea when the sun glittered off of it. It was beautiful, the loveliest thing he’d held in a while, and every nerve in his body wanted to shove it back at his mother.

But he didn’t. He let his gaze drift up from his lap to meet familiar brown eyes that watched him with mute worry. “Mom…what is this?”

“You don’t have to use it. But…if you have trouble sleeping, this can help. The scent will help you sleep a little deeper, and it’s been made to not shine as bright, so it won’t wake you or…anyone else up. I…I imagine you don’t have any other candles in your room.”

The unspoken confirmation of his suspicions made Shoyo feel sick. “No,” he choked out, gathering up the candle and its holder to push it back at his mother. “No, I can’t, I can’t, you know I can’t—!”

“I know, I know,” she hushed him, catching his hands and carefully lowering them back to his lap. “You don’t have to use it, love. But I would feel better knowing you had it, just as an option.” Shoyo’s lips twisted, ready to bite out another refusal, but he was silenced by gentle hands on his cheeks. “Please take it, Shoyo. Take it for my peace of mind, hm?”

His fingers tightened around the candle and its holder until the metal creaked ominously. “…Fine,” he murmured, “but I’m not going to use it. I already broke one promise, Mom, I can’t break another.”

“Alright.” The quiet agreement belied the intensity in his mother’s eyes as she watched him re-tie the package and bury it deep in his pack. She didn’t say anything else, just took his face in her hands again and pressed a kiss to his forehead, before leading the way downstairs.

There, waiting for them by the genkan, sat Natsu, tying something in her hands and looking up at the sound of their footsteps. “Hey, Natchan,” Shoyo greeted her with a melancholy smile.

She didn’t return his smile, just watched him with sad eyes as she carefully pushed herself to her feet. “Are you leaving?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah…yeah, I have to go soon if I want to get back before dark.”

“…Oh.” Her fingers tightened around woven thread, reminding her of what she was holding. “Oh! Here.” She held the woven strap out to him, waiting patiently for him to step close and place his wrist against it.

“What is this?” he asked as he watched her tie it securely beneath the last bracelet she’d made for him. This one was simpler than the beaded leather strap, but it was still lovely, a mix of deep greens, warm browns, and pale yellow. The only adornment was a thin silver bar with delicate, sweeping curves carved into it. The design was rubbed almost smooth, and Shoyo couldn’t recognize it until Natsu finished tying the bracelet, letting him hold it closer to his eyes. The sight of a small crow flying over a sun made his gaze jerk back up to Natsu’s. “This…this was Dad’s.”

“It was both of ours.” Shoyo could feel their mother’s warm presence at his shoulder, and held his wrist up for her to see as well. “He made that for me when he was learning metal-working. I would give it to him when he had to leave for the pilgrimages or any other long trips, and he would give it back when he returned safe and sound. He left it home when he was sent on the sailing trip, and then…” Her breath caught, and without another word, Shoyo and Natsu wrapped her in a hug.

Shoyo could remember returning from his first metalworking class and grumpily comparing his misshapen knife with the delicate perfection of his father’s bracelet. His father had untied the leather strap and let Shoyo run his fingers over the design with a gentle touch that belied his frown. “Keep at it, kiddo,” he’d laughed, ruffling Shoyo’s hair. “One day you’ll be able to woo a special someone with what you create.”

“Mom,” Shoyo murmured now, his words muffled in her shoulder, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” she breathed, “take it with you, and bring it back when you’re safe and sound.” She pulled away with a kiss to his temple and a wavering smile. “Go on, sweetheart, before it gets too dark.”

There was an ache in Shoyo’s throat as he pressed kisses to his mother’s cheek and Natsu’s hair, an ache that sank to his heart as he tied his overcoat and shrugged on his pack. And yet…there was also a bittersweet tinge to their farewells this time, one that made his steps out of the yard and his final wave to his family hurt a little less than before.

He wasn’t heading out to some strange unknown. He was leaving the warmth and love of one home, and returning to the warmth and comfort of the man he loved. In the dizzying joy of reuniting with his family and seeing the yamakumo already work on Natsu, he’d been able to set aside his longing for the wolf. Now a flickering flame of eagerness glowed brighter and warmer with every step he took through the woods, every step that brought him back to his side.

He might’ve been consumed by the fire of his excitement…if it hadn’t been for the weight of the candle, and the betrayal it threatened, sitting heavy on his shoulders.

2 notes · View notes

pearlsephoni · 2 years

Text

My Dearest Clementine

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Tobio Kageyama, Shoyo Hinata, Schweiden Adlers, Karasuno Volleyball Club

Word Count: 7,967

Summary: Tobio Kageyama prepares: he prepares his meals, his workout schedule, the best tactics in his arsenal for any given opponent. But no matter what he does, he can't prepare for the return of one Shoyo Hinata.

A/N: Thank you to my dear friends Miranda and Parker for beta-reading! Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Color it gray

Until I forget you

Like I never met you

My dearest Clementine

Throw it away

But close enough to you

‘Cause although I hate you

I will still fall in love, my Clementine

Every time, always

No matter how hard I try,

My Clementine, every time

— Clementine by grentperez

——————————————————————————————————

Tobio could remember the first time Hinata had said his given name. He had been so used to him screaming his family name, barreling towards him on and off the court with a long, “Kageyaaaaamaaaaa!” Always loud, always drawn out, as though Hinata wanted the whole world to know who he was calling.

The first time he said his given name couldn’t have been more different. His voice had been so soft, so gentle, barely more than a brush of air on Tobio’s lips that were slick from his kisses. “Mm, Tobio.”

Tobio’s head had reared back, eyes wide as he stared at Hinata, who stared back with cheeks flushed from more than just their kisses. “…What?”

“Sorry! It just slipped out, I didn’t—”

“You don’t— it’s okay. I’m just…surprised.” His hand rested on Hinata’s cheek, his thumb gently tracing those sweet lips. “Say it again.”

It was always strange to see Hinata be hesitant, to see someone so boisterous and impulsive suddenly act with caution. “…Tobio.”

“Again.”

“Tobio.” His voice had finally been steady, and the sound of his given name spoken in that clear, sunny tone made Tobio dive back in, kissing deep as though he could chase the taste of his own name on Hinata’s tongue.

He was still Kageyama to everyone else, and Hinata was still Hinata. But when it was just the two of them, they would relish the taste of each other’s given names on their tongues as though they were written in the sweetest honey, would whisper them like a secret between kisses and shout them between laughs and pinching fingers.

Kageyama became Tobio became Tobi. Hinata became Shoyo became Sho. And Tobio became happier than he’d ever thought possible.

——————————————————————————————————

“IT’S HAPPENING!!”

Everyone in the locker room jumped simultaneously as Hoshiumi barreled in from the weights room. “It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening, holy shit, I’ve been waiting for that little—”

“Korai.”

“Kept me waiting since high school—”

“Korai—”

“Gonna show him exactly why—”

“Korai!”

Hoshiumi finally broke off his frantic rambling to look at Hirugami. “Yeah?”

“Breathe, man. What’s going on?”

“This season’s lineups were just announced, and look who’s on the Black Jackals!”

He shoved his phone into Hirugami’s face, forcing the captain to lean his head back in order to actually read what was on it. His lips moved silently around the different names, until he looked back at Hoshiumi’s face with furrowed brows…and immediately snapped back to the phone. “Hold on…‘Hinata Shoyo’…isn’t that the little guy from Karasuno?”

Tobio had been ignoring Hoshiumi’s theatrics — it didn’t take much to excite him — but at the sound of that name, he froze, his practice jersey halfway on his arms.

“Yeah!” Hoshiumi was saying, taking back his phone to stare at it, eyes sparking with excitement. “The one that had to be taken out my second year. I’ve been waiting for a chance to face him again, but that jerk ran off to Brazil and left me hanging.”

“Hold on— Brazil?”

“Yeah, something about beach volleyball…? Wait, Kageyama, weren’t you his best friend or boyfriend or something? You should know! Why didn’t you say something about him joining the Jackals?”

“I…I didn’t know,” Tobio murmured, his voice barely coming out of his dry throat. He didn’t even think to try and dispute what Hoshiumi said about their relationship — he was still processing the fact that Hinata had been selected for a Division 1 team, and that Tobio had to find out with the rest of the Adlers. “He said something about going to try-outs, but…I didn’t know he got selected.”

“Huh…weird.”

For once, Tobio was grateful for how easily distracted Hoshiumi could be. Another question from Hirugami turned the spiker’s attention away from Tobio, giving him a chance to tug his jersey on and fully absorb the news.

Hinata. A Division 1 player. On the same team as Bokuto, Miya, and Sakusa. Meaning he was capable of playing at their level.

“If my memory serves,” Ushijima suddenly mused, breaking through Tobio’s spiral, “we will be playing the Jackals at the opening match of the season.”

“Oh, that’s right! Looks like you’ll have your chance to face him sooner than you thought, Korai.”

“That’s assuming he even makes first string. No way that’s happening, not with Barnes on their team.”

“He could.” Tobio stared into his locker, only distantly aware of the team’s eyes on him. “If the Jackals wanted to use the element of surprise, he’d be perfect. They could even use the freak quick with…with…”

He couldn’t seem to finish the sentence. For some reason, Miya’s name stalled on his tongue, as though he couldn’t even speak of someone besides him and Hinata doing the freak quick. Which was ridiculous, because Miya managed to replicate it within the same match that he saw it for the first time, and what setter wouldn’t immediately take advantage of Hinata’s speed and reflexes?

“Right, didn’t Miya manage to do that with his twin one year? Oh shit, wasn’t that against you guys?”

Tobio still couldn’t meet Hoshiumi’s eyes. “Yeah. It was against us.”

Hoshiumi let out a low whistle. “You setters are something else, seriously.”

The conversation dwindled a bit after that, as the team trickled out from the locker room to the gym. Tobio ended up being one of the last to leave, along with…

“Kageyama.”

He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear Ushijima’s thoughts on Hinata’s debut in the V.League, but he didn’t have a good way of preemptively leaving the conversation. “Yes, Ushijima-san?”

“Are you alright? You seem a bit…taken aback by the news about Hinata.”

Oh. That…wasn’t at all what Tobio was expecting to hear that baritone voice say. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just…surprised, is all.” When Ushijima kept watching him with a deeply probing gaze instead of ending the conversation, Tobio floundered. “Uh…thanks for asking?”

It took an extra beat for Ushijima to nod and respond. “No need for thanks. I simply wanted to make sure you were alright. Practice won’t do you any good if you’re distracted. Shall we?”

“Sure.”

——————————————————————————————————

Tobio could remember the last time Hinata had said his given name. Try as he might, the sound lingered in his mind, drifting through his thoughts when he laid alone in bed late at night, or at the sight of an empty set of swings, or when he happened to see the sunset at just the right moment.

Those moments didn’t come often, but when they did, Tobio could suddenly see the entire scene play out all over again, making his eyes burn and his heart lodge in his throat. He could hear Hinata’s voice, feel his lips, taste his tears…he could remember how he fit in his arms, how his spine felt curved against his palms.

And he could remember the loneliness, the deep, aching hole of grief that opened in his chest as he watched Hinata walk away, shoulders trembling but eyes resolutely fixed ahead.

“See you later, Tobio,” he’d said. And now, suddenly, it was three years later, and Tobio couldn’t recognize himself as the boy on that swing set. Sometimes he wondered if he would recognize Hinata, if that ball of unrestrained energy, sunshine, and chatter was still the same person that he’d been able to call his.

But then, when his self-control finally snapped, Tobio would find recordings of a recent beach volleyball tournament in Rio (surprisingly difficult to find on the internet), and he would sift through the matches until he caught sight of bright orange hair peeking out of a cap. He would watch a man made of muscle and tan skin and impossible speed leap through the air in the way he recognized, and set the ball and analyze the court in a way he didn’t recognize. His eyes were hidden under sports sunglasses and a visor, but the bottom half of his face was still exposed, and Tobio was treated to the sight of a smile so bright, it could’ve outshone the sun baking the sand under his feet.

And Tobio ached, and yearned, and wondered, and still felt his lips twitch at that familiar smile. Of course he could recognize Hinata. Who else had hair that orange and legs that springy and a voice so vibrant?

Who else could make Tobio’s heart squeeze with a single smile?

——————————————————————————————————

He’d known that Hinata was going to be first string for the game. He’d known he would finally be facing him on a volleyball court again, something he’d been waiting for ever since he’d watched Hinata walk away from him on that playground.

But then game day arrived, and Tobio realized that he was only ready for the game itself. Nothing could have prepared him for the way his heart twisted at the distant sound of someone singing in the hallway. He instantly knew it was him, singing his stupid bathroom songs the way he always did in high school. Before he could stop himself, Tobio was hurrying from the Adlers’ locker room and calling out, “Not gonna have any bowel issues today, are you?”

After all this time, he could still remember the first time he’d ever seen Hinata. He’d been a little scrap of a boy, all skinny limbs and bright hair sticking out of an old green uniform, shaking from nerves in front of a bathroom. Tobio couldn’t have known what a whirlwind that tiny thing would create in his life.

That initial meeting was the first and only time he’d ever underestimated Hinata. He certainly wasn’t going to repeat that mistake now, no matter how much this reunion mirrored that fateful day. Tobio was older, and, he liked to think, wiser.

And yet…he still wasn’t ready for the confident smile and excited gaze that Hinata pinned Tobio under. Their eyes met, and…fuck, if he hadn’t already spent the past three years yearning, Tobio could’ve fallen in love all over again with just one look.

The bathroom song was perhaps the only thing that hadn’t changed about Hinata. Those fiery strands were cut much shorter, the lines of his face had gotten sharper, and strong, thick muscles covered in perfectly tanned skin had replaced the pale wiry limbs that had made him look like a human pogo stick as a teen.

Hinata was…he was beautiful. Standing in front of him for the first time in years felt like standing in direct sunlight after being trapped in a cave. It was like all the sweet, cute, bouncy energy of his teen years had simmered down into this…this perfect embodiment of athleticism and sex appeal. Now the main signs of that ever-present energy were the glint in those warm amber eyes and the eager line of his smile.

It was clear he had learned how to better contain and direct that hyperactivity, and Tobio knew, he knew that it was all for volleyball, of course it was. But the knowledge of all that energy buzzing just beneath the surface of that tan skin, combined with how good Hinata looked, made desire sock him in the stomach. It was breathtaking how instant and strong his reaction was.

Somehow, he was able to hear Hinata’s answer through the blood rushing in his ears. “Hell no. I don’t get stomach aches before games anymore.”

“Better not, you runt.” By some small miracle, his voice came out strong and steady, revealing none of the miserable arousal pumping through him.

“Kageyama-kun, you’ve grown up!”

Oh. Right. He was still a little shit. How could Tobio forget?

He was still terribly magnetic, too. Tobio barely had him to himself for two minutes before Miya interrupted, and the next thing he knew, Ushijima and Hoshiumi had appeared with their own challenges to Hinata.

And that beautiful, stupid little tangerine of a man looked as excited at the prospect of a competition as he had in high school, meeting their challenges with a broad smile and bright eyes. But Tobio couldn’t help noticing, with a little prick of jealous satisfaction, that his bright response in the hallway had nothing on the way he looked on the court, the intensity of his eyes and the determined line of his smile when he met Tobio’s gaze through the net and shook his hand.

Watch me, that smile said, see how far I’ve climbed.

Tobio knew he was doomed when he took his place to serve, looked across the court, and automatically sought out Hinata’s eyes, which were already watching him. He told himself it was because he wanted to show off how he’d improved since high school, prove that Hinata wasn’t the only one to have evolved in the years since they’d last stood on a court together.

But then he saw Hinata receive his serve and send the ball in a perfect arc, and he couldn’t tear his eyes from the streak of orange that sped across the court and jumped — no, flew — higher than Tobio would have thought possible, spiking Miya’s perfect toss into the first point of the game. And yes, Tobio felt a pang of disappointment at the lost point, but more than anything, he felt pride. He was so desperately, breathlessly proud of Hinata, and he was desperately, breathlessly eager to challenge this new version of the Greatest Decoy.

Every time he looked through the net, his eyes found Hinata’s, as though his old partner was always watching him. And maybe he was. Maybe this return to the court together, standing on opposite sides of the net, was making a confusing cocktail of competition, determination, and want burn a path through Hinata’s veins, too.

Tobio really did feel like he was on fire. He felt it under his feet and through his veins and in his hands, ready to singe the ball every time it came to him. And he loved it. He couldn’t get enough of it. There was never a period of his life where he didn’t love volleyball, but this was the first time in years that he felt so happy, almost to the point of recklessness.

He didn’t know anything had been missing until he had it again. He didn’t know how much he’d missed this, this silly competition that meant nothing and everything to him. He could feel his lips stretching into hungry smiles, could almost feel the sparks flying from his eyes. With every new move that Hinata pulled out, Tobio could feel something in his chest squeeze tighter and tighter, until he watched Hinata save the ball with his heel and went breathless with awe.

He wanted, god, how he wanted. It was easy enough to ignore during the game, when he could process his burning blood and hungry hands and chalk them up to his need to win. But then the game ended, and there was nothing to distract him from looking directly into those warm amber eyes, and feeling those sensations intensify.

There was nothing to stop his heart from stuttering when Hinata smiled and said, “I’m here, now.”

The stab of disappointment with their loss didn’t even feel as sharp as usual. It was more an ache than a stab, settling in his stomach and throbbing next to…something else entirely. Every touch made him feel electric — the customary shaking of hands at the end of the game, the way Hinata grabbed him by the arm to drag him over to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi and Yachi, the feeling of his fist gently knocking into his shoulder when Tobio said something accidentally funny.

And he wanted, and wanted, and wanted. He wanted to grab that teasing hand, wanted to see how his pale skin contrasted with that hard-earned tan, wanted to feel Hinata’s pulse leap under his fingers and breath stutter against his lips. It was almost a relief when Bokuto pulled Hinata away to say hello to Akaashi and Udai, except some ridiculous part of Tobio wanted to stay by his side, even if it meant he’d continue being distracted by his own dwindling restraint.

Three years, and he was still just as weak for that short, hyperactive, happy streak of orange as he was in high school. Never mind that Hinata had grown, both in height and muscle, and he now had an acute control of his energy that let him channel it when he most needed it. Never mind that he was playing better than Tobio could’ve imagined in his wildest dreams. The longing to let his hands sink into ginger hair and wrap around a strong waist and slide between nimble fingers felt the same now as it did in high school.

“Tobio!”

He jumped at the sudden call of his given name, and looked around to find Sokolov waving him over to where he was standing in front of an interviewer and camera. “Your turn, man,” the middle blocker sighed, not even bothering to hide his relief. “I think they’re sick of interviewing in English.”

“Ah…alright.” Tobio hated doing press, hated the added pressure of every word he said being recorded for posterity. But for just that moment, he was glad for the distraction. The stress of finding the right words and right intonation for them could overwhelm the misery of his feelings for that stupid tangerine.

It worked a little too well. The interviews blurred together, and then he was meeting and greeting with fans, then catching up with more old friends, classmates, teammates, and rivals — and it was nice, it really was, but by the end of it all, the only thing he wanted was to disappear into the relative peace of the locker room.

“Yamayama-kun!”

Ah. He was so close to escaping, too.

Tobio turned to see Hinata running towards him, smile so bright it could have blinded him if he hadn’t seen it so much during the match. “What?”

“Geez, good to see you, too,” Hinata scoffed, landing a light shove at Tobio’s shoulder when he reached him. “You didn’t say anything when Suga-san invited us to dinner. You’re gonna come, right?”

“I…” Part of him, much smaller than before but still there, wanted to decline the invitation. It was the instinctive part of him, the part that wanted to spend every waking moment thinking about or playing or training for volleyball. Just then, he also wanted to hop in the shower and recover from the gauntlet of press and publicity that came after every match.

But these were his old friends, his first teammates to really let him feel like a team could also be a family, the first team he wanted to play with for as long as possible because of who they were together, not just because of the glory of winning. Even if Hinata hadn’t been there, gazing at him with warm brown eyes glittering with entreaty, he would’ve said yes.

As it was, he couldn’t resist leaving Hinata hanging for longer than he needed to, before he finally nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come. Of course I will. And quit calling me ‘Yamayama,’ it’s weird.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“It sounds like a nickname you’d give to Yamaguchi, it’d get confusing.”

“But I don’t call him that. I call him ‘Gucci-kun.’”

Tobio stared at Hinata, who stared right back, his face strangely blank. “…You’re kidding.”

“Am I?”

“Hinata—”

Finally he broke, his held back laughter escaping him as very unattractive snorts. “No, stupid, I just call him Yamaguchi-kun! Y’know, how friends do?”

Tobio’s hand shot out to grab at those ginger tufts, but Hinata was already dodging before his hand even reached him. Ninja Shoyo, indeed.

“Ok, fine!” Hinata cackled. “Then…how about fofinho?”

“The hell? What does that mean?”

“I’m not gonna tell you,” Hinata sang.

“You can’t call me that if you’re not gonna tell me what it means!”

“But that’s the fun part! And it rhymes with your name, it’s perfect!”

“Barely,” Tobio grumbled. “If I ask Romero and he tells me it’s something stupid, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“If you manage to ask Romero anything, it’d be a miracle.”

“My English has gotten better!”

“Better than barely saying ‘hello’? That’s not a very high bar.”

“You’re gonna eat your words when I go to Italy, dumbass.” The taunt slipped out from pure habit, and he could see Hinata’s eyes widen just a bit before he burst into laughter.

Annoyance prickled through Tobio, but with it came a strange sense of both relief and longing. It was so…easy, falling back into this banter, this teasing, grabbing at orange hair and flushed cheeks. It was too easy — if Tobio wasn’t careful, he knew would lean down to steal a kiss out of habit, and he…he didn’t know if he could. If he was allowed. And he definitely didn’t know how to ask.

“You better be at dinner,” Hinata said, breaking Tobio out of his dazed stare, “or I’ll break into your hotel room and drag you out.”

He really would, was the thing. He wouldn’t succeed, he wasn’t smart enough for that, but he’d try, especially if he had Miya and Bokuto egging him on. “I’ll be there, dumbass, quit trying to get yourself arrested and off the team.”

“Good! Then I’ll see ya later, fofinho!”

“Oi!”

Hinata ran off with a cackle, a sound that should not have made fondness bloom in Tobio’s chest. God. He was an Olympian, a volleyball genius, one of the best setters in Japan, and here he was, folding like an old letter at Hinata’s glittering brown eyes and boisterous laugh.

“Kageyama.” He jumped and looked around frantically to see Romero watching him with a kind, bemused smile. “Coach wants the whole team to gather up.”

“Ah. Right.” His brain still wasn’t used to snapping between languages, though he was slowly getting better at it.

He was silent as he joined Romero, and he’d expected that silence to last the whole walk back. So when Romero suddenly spoke up, it took Tobio an extra beat to understand him. “You and Ninja Shoyo are pretty close, huh?”

“Ah…a little. We haven’t seen each other since high school.” He didn’t have the words to explain the deep, confusing layers of their relationship, and even if he did, he wasn’t sure he would have wanted to explain all that.

Romero looked surprised. “Oh. Huh. I thought…with that nickname…”

Tobio frowned in confusion. “Nickname? You mean that…uh…”

“Fofinho?”

“Yeah, that. He won’t tell me what it means.”

Romero’s laugh wasn’t mean-spirited at all. If anything, he sounded genuinely delighted to be the one to enlighten Tobio. “It means ‘cutie.’ It’s mostly used between couples or family. I guess friends could use it, but not ones who haven’t seen each other in a while.”

Something in Tobio’s chest squeezed, so tightly that it was a minor miracle his voice didn’t crack when he spoke. “…Couples?”

“Yeah! Wait, do you not know that word in English?”

“N-no, I do. I’m just…surprised, I guess.”

“I would be, too.” There was something meaningful in Romero’s gaze, almost knowing, and it was enough to make Tobio feel grateful when they joined the rest of the team and the ace’s focus was distracted away from him.

Hinata must’ve known. There was no way he’d learned the nickname without also learning its connotations. But there was also the chance that he was just teasing Tobio without really meaning anything by it. Maybe Tobio was just letting hope overtake reason for the umpteenth time that day.

His post-game routine helped settle him a bit — the review of the game, showering, cleaning his equipment and listening to the rest of the team ribbing each other. He’d nearly forgotten about the dinner by the time he wandered out of the gymnasium, until he saw Tanaka and Shimizu — or, the Tanakas now, he guessed — waiting by a little, deep red car. “Oi, Kageyama!” Tanaka called with a big wave. “Want a ride to dinner?”

“Oh. Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t offer if I did, man! Hop in!”

Tobio waved away the questioning looks Hoshiumi and Hirugami sent him. “Dinner with the old team,” he explained, waiting for the confusion to fade from their faces before he jogged over to the Tanakas and slid into the backseat.

“What about the others?” he asked as he tugged the seatbelt across his body.

“Yamaguchi and Tsukishima gave Yacchan and Hinata a ride,” Tanaka explained, steering the car out of the gym parking lot, “and Suga-san and Daichi-san took Asahi-san.”

“Ah. What about Coach and Takeda-sensei?”

“They had to take the team back to the school,” Kiyoko said with a small smile. “They’ll try to join us if it’s not too late.”

Tobio nodded and leaned back in the seat, letting his mind wander as he watched the familiar scenery of his hometown drift past. He was distantly aware of the Tanakas quietly talking, and Kiyoko brushing something out of Ryuu’s hair as he drove. He never thought he’d ever be in an enclosed space with Tanaka that was quiet, but he didn’t question it.

He didn’t know how much time passed, but suddenly Tanaka was announcing, “Here we are!” and parking the car near an izakaya. Tobio blinked, noticing the group that had gathered just outside — his first year team, chatting and laughing like no time had passed.

He slid out of the car just as Tanaka called, “What’s up, everybody?” The chatter quieted as everyone looked over to the new arrivals, like the calm before the storm that was everyone shouting greetings.

“Hey, slowpokes!”

“Wow, Kageyama, you actually came!”

“What took you guys so long?”

“We weren’t that long,” Tanaka scoffed, “We left maybe five minutes after Yachi and the others did.”

“Were you licking your wounds after losing, fofinho?” Tobio’s stomach swooped at the sound of the nickname, and his eyes shot down to see Hinata at his side, shit-eating grin spread wide across his face.

“You wish,” Tobio snorted, a small grin curving his lips despite himself. “I was just thinking about how I’ll kick your ass next time. You won’t be such a surprise then.”

“You never knowwww, maybe I’ll even get a few service aces on you!”

“Did you already start drinking? Why’re you saying so much bullshit?”

“Alright!” Sawamura bellowed with a clap of his hands, his voice carrying over the chaos like it always did. “Let’s head inside and get some seats before our freak duo start chewing each other’s heads off.”

Tobio flushed to the sound of everyone laughing as they stepped inside. There was an unmistakable look of dread falling over the waitstaff’s faces at the sight of their group, but they still helped to pull some tables together and took everyone’s orders.

“So,” Sugawara began as soon as everyone settled into their seats, “first things first! Tell us everything about Brazil, Hinata-kun!”

With a bright laugh, Hinata started filling in the group on everything he’d been up to in Brazil: beach volleyball, training, the many mishaps of his food delivery job, the people he met and the person he unexpectedly reunited with. It seemed like everyone knew different bits and pieces about his time away, and every so often someone would jump in to fill in any blanks Hinata inadvertently left.

It was all so familiar and comfortable, and for the first time since the reunion in the hallway, Tobio felt himself fully relax. He was happy to sit there, and listen, and watch Hinata from across the table as he waved his hands around and uttered nonsense sound effects and smiled endlessly.

“I missed him, too,” he suddenly heard Yachi murmur. He turned his head to see her smiling kindly at him, with a certain perceptive glint in her eyes. It was only by seeing her smile that Tobio realized he had a smile of his own on his lips, and it immediately fell off his face. He couldn’t understand why that made Yachi giggle behind her hand. “You don’t want to admit you missed him?”

“It’s not— of course I missed him,” Tobio mumbled, just loud enough for Yachi to hear. “But I missed all of you guys.”

“It’s not the same. You know it’s not the same.”

His shoulders fell in defeat. There never was any point in trying to lie or hide something from her. “…No. It’s not.”

Yachi didn’t say anything else. She just smiled, and leaned against his side for a moment, her slight weight comforting enough to make him lean back against her. The gesture made affection bloom inside him — he really had missed this group of people, especially his classmates (even Tsukishima, though he’d rather pull out his own teeth that admit that out loud). He had yet to meet someone with Yachi’s sharp observations and quiet acts of comfort, and it was really, really nice to be on the receiving end of her kindness again. It bolstered him enough to dip back into the conversation, which Asahi was bashfully leading on his turn to get everyone up to date on his life.

At some point the conversation turned to romance, much to Kageyama’s mortification. It started when Tobio’s plans to join Ali Roma came up and Shimizu mentioned that she and Tanaka had thought about going to Rome for their honeymoon. Then Tanaka announced that Ennoshita was engaged, and Sugawara talked about the cat that he and Sawamura were in the process of adopting. Even Yachi wasn’t safe — when she smilingly asked Tsukishima when his first match was, he rebutted by asking when she was going to finally ask her pretty coworker out.

“Didn’t you take five years to confess to Yamaguchi?” Hinata snorted. “Where do you get off teasing anyone for taking their time?”

“We can’t all speedrun the world’s dumbest enemies-to-lovers arc.” Tsukishima’s words made Tobio’s hand freeze in raising his beer to his mouth, and brought a flush to Hinata’s cheeks. The blonde noticed, and a smug grin curled over his lips. “Some of us actually worried about the repercussions of hare-brained romances.”

“Speaking of romaaaance,” Sugawara crooned, resting his cheek on his hand to smile at Hinata. “What was the dating scene like in Rio? I’ve heard it can make Tokyo look like the world’s strictest church.”

Hinata’s flush crept to his ears, but he otherwise looked unaffected as he returned Sugawara’s smile. “I think most countries’ dating scenes make Japan look a little repressed,” he chuckled, before shrugging. “It was alright. I didn’t really participate in it much.”

“Really?” Sugawara’s eyes flickered to Tobio, and in that split second, Tobio could recognize their probing edge. “No one caught your fancy?”

“Not really. I…saw…a few people, but no one special enough to distract me from volleyball!”

His mention of volleyball wasn’t enough to distract from the heavy suggestion behind “saw.” Sugawara’s eyebrows shot up his forehead just as Tanaka let out a quiet wolf-whistle, but before anyone could even attempt prying, Tsukishima groaned, “Can we please, please, talk about anything besides Hinata’s Brazilian sex life? Dinner was delicious, I really don’t want to throw it all up.”

“Gross, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi laughed. Tsukishima turned his head to sigh at his boyfriend, but not before his eyes glanced over Tobio’s hold on his beer.

Tobio automatically followed his eyeline, and was startled to see his hand gripping the glass so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He immediately loosened his hold, and when he looked back up, Tsukishima was busy rolling his eyes as Yamaguchi rocked into his side with a teasing smile.

Tobio’s ears burned. That prick was just as observant as ever, but now he took less glee in other people’s embarrassment. Tobio almost missed when they would just snap biting words at each other. At least then he wouldn’t feel this strange mix of gratitude and embarrassment swirling in his chest.

His gaze wandered around the table as the conversation did, thankfully, turn away from the topic of romance. Nostalgia and fondness spread warm from his chest at the sight of this team, the first team to take Karasuno to Nationals, the first team that felt like a family, all gathered around once again.

Then his gaze fell on Hinata, and his heart jolted at the sight of him already watching him. Those amber eyes widened just a bit at being caught, but Hinata was never one to shy away, and the way he raised his eyebrows and very slightly ducked his chin in an unspoken question made an ache join the swirl of emotions spreading through Tobio. He could still read that face like an open book, and right now it was asking him, Everything ok?

Tobio narrowed his eyes just a bit and let the corner of his lips curve down in a suppressed smile. I’ll be fine, mind your business.

Hinata’s lips pressed thin against the laugh that Tobio could already see making his shoulders curve in, and Tobio felt a foot gently press down on his toes under the table. His breath caught in his throat as he was suddenly sent back to his first year, when they were still trying to keep their relationship secret from the rest of the team. Whenever Hinata wanted to squeeze at his fingers but was sitting across from him instead of right next to him, he would step lightly on Tobio’s toes in the closest imitation of comforting pressure he could manage.

And there it was again, a longing so strong he was breathless from it. Hinata was…he…he had to know. He had to know what he was doing. There was no possible way that he didn’t. He could be an idiot, but not where people were concerned.

Tobio kept staring at him, soaking in every detail he could, every micro expression that flickered over those bright features. Despite the sharper lines and tanned skin and veneer of calm, simmering energy, Tobio still knew those features with a certainty he rarely felt off of the volleyball court. But when he saw longing lingering under the comfort and familiarity and happiness shining from Hinata’s face as they gazed at each other, Tobio thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d been wrong. Maybe he didn’t know that face as well as he’d thought.

The rest of dinner passed in a buzzed, blissful blur. Tobio didn’t let himself have more than one beer, but he still watched a gentle glow settle over his old friends as the night went on, filling him with a sense of comfort he hadn’t felt around a group of people in a long time. Even though it was pretty late by the time they paid for the meal and slowly made their way outside, Tobio couldn’t help feeling a little saddened that the night was over.

Sawamura, Sugawara, and Azumane were the first ones to leave, making sure to wrap everyone in warm hugs before they drove away. Then Yamaguchi let out a small sigh and turned to Hinata and Yachi. “Where are you guys staying? We can drop you off.”

“Oh, I’m just staying with my mom!” Yachi chirped.

Hinata, strangely enough, took an extra beat to answer. “Actually…the hotel we’re staying at isn’t too far from here. I might just walk, take in the old stomping grounds, y’know?”

“Are you sure? You just played a helluva game.”

“Yeah.” Hinata shot Yamaguchi a reassuring smile. Tobio wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it, but he could’ve sworn he saw Hinata’s eyes flicker over Yamaguchi’s shoulder to look at him. “I’m sure.”

“God, I can’t wait for your endless energy to run out one day,” Tsukishima bitched, as though his lips weren’t threatening to curve into a smile.

“Missed you, too, Tsukishima!”

Yamaguchi laughed as he pat Hinata on the shoulder and made his way to his car. “Let us know when you get to the hotel. Great job out there today.”

“Thank you!” After Yachi squeezed a final hug from Hinata, their classmates also drove away, leaving Hinata, Tobio, and the Tanakas.

“How about you, Kageyama?” Tanaka asked. There was a somewhat knowing glint to his eyes that was a little unnerving to see. “Where are you staying?”

Tobio opened his mouth to answer…but his words stalled in his throat when his eyes met Hinata’s. There was no mistaking the look on his face — open entreaty, and this time, the yearning was clear to see.

“I, ah…I’m actually staying in the same hotel as Hinata,” Tobio blurted. “So…I can walk back with him.”

Oh, those were definitely knowing smiles on both of the Tanakas’ faces. “Alright. Well, get back safe. And come visit sooner! You better not take an entire volleyball season to visit again.”

Tobio let out a small laugh as he accepted Tanaka’s hug. “I’ll see what I can do.”

And then there were two.

“I, um…” Tobio cringed at how awkward he already sounded. “My team’s not in the same hotel as yours, but we’re close by, so…I just thought…”

“I know. I was hoping you would.” The smile on Hinata’s lips was smaller than the others he’d worn that day, but still filled with emotions Tobio was almost scared to name: happiness, wistfulness, eagerness, and more. He was so caught in it, he almost missed Hinata’s tilted head until he heard, “Shall we?”

“Ah. Yeah.”

The ease that Tobio had felt around Hinata in the Sendai gymnasium and izakaya had fled him, leaving an atmosphere between them that was heavy with unspoken emotions. That didn’t stop Hinata from trying to just…chat with Tobio, asking about his parents and Miwa and offering to help with the hellish process of preparing to move and work overseas.

Tobio could see right through him, and he truthfully did appreciate it. Hinata was probably the only person in the world who wouldn’t have choked on the thick air, with his easy charisma and understanding of people. But Tobio still hated it. He’d had enough of these stilted conversations from the texts and calls they’d sprinkled throughout three years.

He held strong until he spotted Hinata’s hotel just a few blocks away. Then panic seized him — they couldn’t just part ways like this, without actually saying anything — and he finally blurted out, “Did you mean it? What you said about Brazil?”

Hinata’s brows furrowed just a bit as a bemused smile tugged at his lips. “I said a lot about Brazil.”

“I know, but…about the people?”

Confusion lingered on Hinata’s face for another beat, before understanding swept it away. “About dating there?”

Tobio felt his ears grow warm. “…Yeah.”

“I did. I meant it.” Hinata scuffed a shoe against the sidewalk. “I wasn’t looking for romance or anything. And even if I were, there just…wasn’t anyone who would’ve been worth it.” His eyes drifted up from the pavement to look at Tobio. “…What about you? You didn’t really say anything when everyone else was talking about dating and stuff.”

“Cuz there isn’t anything to say,” Tobio muttered. “I didn’t bother with dates, and Hoshiumi-san tried to play wingman for exactly one night at a club before we both gave up.” The memory made him smile, despite the embarrassment prickling through him.

“Oh.” It took everything in Tobio to not try and hear relief in that one word. “Would you want to date anyone?”

Tobio heard the unspoken question behind those words, and met Hinata’s eyes before he said, “Yeah. If they were worth it.”

It was strange, seeing Hinata fall quiet and nod through new information. It was a contemplation Tobio thought he’d never see from him outside of a volleyball court. Seeing it now made a mix of nerves and anticipation pump through Tobio.

“Could I…be worth it?”

There it was. Tobio’s heart leapt to his throat, pressing out his air and leaving him breathless. But his answer still rose immediately to his lips as he froze and waited for Hinata to stop walking, too.

He watched him realize he was walking alone, and stop, and turn to look at him with wide amber eyes. And with his heart still beating in his throat, Tobio murmured, “Yes. You always were. You still would be.”

There was a moment, a breath, where Tobio got to watch his words sink in, got to watch Hinata’s growing smile push at flushed cheeks. And then Hinata was grabbing his hand and leading him down a small side street hidden mostly in the shadows.

As soon as they were both out of sight of the main street, Tobio felt hands wrap into his jacket and gently press him to the brick wall, before Hinata used his hold as leverage to bring their faces close. Tobio’s heart skipped a beat at the feeling of Hinata’s nose brushing his and his breath ghosting across his cheeks, and his eyes fluttered shut as he waited eagerly for the press of lips against his…but it never came.

“Tobio.” His eyes blinked open to find Hinata watching him with a small smile. “Kiss me.”

He said it with the same casual command that used to color his voice when he asked— no, demanded that Tobio toss to him.

And just like before, Tobio couldn’t refuse him, especially when he’d wanted the same thing the entire night.

He leaned forward to press their lips together, and oh…it was a miracle Tobio didn’t start crying on the spot. Kissing Hinata felt like the axis of his world was set right. It felt like going to Nationals for the first time, and accepting his offer from the Adlers, and qualifying for the Olympic team.

It felt like finding a partner who could finally keep up with him on the court, and learning that partner wanted him just as much off the court, too. It felt like being a dumb high schooler getting kissed for the first time by the first and only person he’d ever wanted so much.

Tobio’s hands rose to Hinata’s waist and traced a path to his back, where they flattened against his spine and pulled him even closer. He’d gotten taller and stronger since their last kiss, but the soft noises that escaped him and the warmth of his mouth still achingly, breathtakingly the same. And when Tobio’s hand fell to the small of his back and pressed their hips together, Tobio realized that…other things had stayed the same as well.

With a quiet whimper, Hinata suddenly pulled away, eyes wide with embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

Before he could step away, Tobio pulled his body back in and let their lips ghost against each other as he murmured, “Don’t. Don’t apologize.” He let his hips rock into Hinata, and he felt as much as heard his soft gasp at the feeling of Tobio being just as affected by all this.

When Hinata finally spoke again, his voice sounded a touch rough, making Tobio’s stomach drop from how badly he wanted. “When does your team leave tomorrow?”

“Eleven.”

“Mine, too.” Hinata’s fingers fell to Tobio’s collar and tightened in the fabric. “Can I…can I spend the night with you?”

“Fuck,” Tobio breathed, “yes, god, yeah, you can.” He didn’t even have it in him to feel embarrassed at Hinata’s soft laugh.

“Bokuto-san is staying with Akaashi-san tonight…”

“Then why are we still out here?”

This time Hinata’s laugh was loud and bright and made Tobio feel like he was bathing in sunshine in the middle of the night. He sounded like sunshine, and he felt like sunshine in Tobio’s hands, and when he was pressed against his hotel room door and moaning into Tobio’s mouth, he tasted like sunshine, too.

Tobio was in the middle of pressing kisses down Hinata’s neck and letting his hands wander under his shirt when he suddenly heard a soft, “Tobio.”

“Mm?”

“Tobio, wait.”

Those two words alone were enough to make Tobio’s stomach drop as he pulled away to meet Hinata’s eyes. Had he done something wrong? Did Hinata change his mind? “…What is it?”

“Just…this isn’t only a one-night stand for me. I need you to know that. This isn’t just about sex.”

Relief washed over Tobio, alongside a little bit of confusion. He carefully cupped Hinata’s cheek, his thumb tracing over a cheekbone where before there had just been a sweet curve. “I know,” he murmured, “Me, too.”

“No, I don’t mean…I don’t mean I just want to date you.” His gaze sharpened, arousal apparently forgotten in favor of making sure Tobio understood him. “I mean…I mean I still love you, Tobio. I loved my time in Brazil, and I always would’ve wanted to improve my playing, but…but I also couldn’t stop thinking about how it would all pay off when I stood on a court with you again. And then it did, and I…it’s like I can’t breathe from how much I still love you.”

Tobio’s body reacted before he fully understood the words. His blood felt like champagne in his veins, and he felt almost light-headed from stunned glee. “You still love me? After all this time?”

“Yeah. Never stopped.”

That was it. That was all Tobio could listen to before he pulled Hinata’s lips to his. “Me, too,” he murmured between kisses, “me, too, Sho.”

As soon as he said the old nickname, he heard Hinata’s breath catch. Then Hinata was smiling against his lips, pressing close as Tobio carefully maneuvered them to the bed. Tobio felt an ache return to his chest, but this time it was sweet, so sweet, like his heart was growing too large for his chest. It was like everything he’d wanted for three years was suddenly in his grasp within a single day. Even the Adlers’ defeat felt small compared to the triumph of holding Hinata again.

It should’ve been too good to be true. Hinata was back, and they were playing together, and somehow, somehow, he still loved him as much as Tobio did. But as Tobio pressed him to his bed and relearned his body to the sound of his sweet gasps and moans, he decided he’d much rather enjoy this impossible happiness than question it.

————————————————————��—————————————

(Later, when they laid next to each other, sweat drying from their skin and eyes growing heavy with exhaustion, Tobio took a minute to absorb the addicting sight of Hinata dozing next to him again, before gently pinching his cheek to rouse him. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

“Did you know your little Portuguese nickname is used by couples?”

“‘Course I did,” Hinata mumbled drowsily, batting Tobio’s hand from his cheek to tangle their fingers together. “It’s called ‘manifesting,’ fofinho.”

“More like wishful thinking.”

“Whatever. It worked, didn’t it?” His eyes slowly blinked open, and he pinned Tobio under a sleepy, wonderfully fond smile.

“A random nickname wasn’t going to change anything, dumbass,” Tobio scoffed, as if his cheeks weren’t growing warm.

“What, you really hate it that much?”

“I don’t hate it, I just…prefer something else.” Tobio’s eyes flickered from Hinata’s to focus on where their hands rested in the small space between them, but that didn’t keep him from hearing his soft, knowing laugh.

“Okay.” Hinata let go of his hand in favor of draping his arm over Tobio’s waist and snuggling into his chest. “Okay, Tobi.”)

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