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alottanothing · 4 years

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Left to Ruin: Chapter Fourteen

Summary: Ahkmemrah prepares for his marriage to Nouke. A week after sending his brother to the cells, the pharaoh’s guilt sees him visiting Kah in search of salvation.

Previous Chapters

Word Count: 2715

Warnings: just some good ole angst

Tag List: @xmxisxforxmaybe, @r-ahh-mi, @theultraviolencefan, @hah0106, @rami-malek-trash, @diasimar, @sherlollydramoine, @flipper-kisses, @ivy-miranda-2390, @txmel, @sunkissedmikky, @concentratedsassandcandy, @babyalienfairy, @edteche2 (Let me know if I missed you, or if you would like to be added to the tag list)

A/N: This is one of the shortest chapters of this whole story, maybe the shortest. However, I feel like there’s still a great deal of importance to the scenes, especially the ones between Kah and Ahk. Also, thanks for all the love last chapter! The comments, and tags and like and reblogs are like candy to me! 🍬 ☺️Again, as a disclaimer, I am not an ancient Egyptian expert and google only knows so much. So yeah, I took so historical liberties while writing this to make my life easier, but tried to keep it as “authentic” as possible.

Over the course of several days, the pharaoh's daily routine was exceedingly more arduous than the one he was accustomed to. Those long hours were a blur of official greetings and ostentatious dinners meant to welcome the important dignitaries who had traveled from afar to partake in the union of their king and soon to be queen. Merenkahre insisted on a week to properly allow all the guest to make their journeys and get settled; then on the seventh day, all of Waset would honor their new queen.

Truthfully, when his father asked for a week's time to prepare for a grand festival, Ahkmenrah agreed readily, entirely too wrapped up in the notion of marrying Nouke to realize how long seven days would actually be. Those days moved so sluggishly. A week was absolutely too long to be away from her, but duty often eclipsed what his heart desired.

However, duty also lent him distraction from his yearning heart. Families began arriving two days after the pharaoh proclaimed his desire to wed the servant girl Anuksumn. Boats lined the shores of the Nile, crowding the market harbor as families—along with their entourage—made their way to the palace with enough fan fair to rival that of the pharaohs.’ Despite their raw pomposity, Ahkmenrah showered them each with unyielding kindness as he welcomed them to stay in his home—as was expected of a king.

The ruse of playing host grew old after only one evening of official dinners and introductions; proving to be all work and no play. The stories his guests told during their feasts lacked zeal. Mostly, everyone spoke of their own accomplishments and their supposed generosity to the cities they governed. A few guests were genuine—able to steer topics away from themselves. Apart from those cherished few, every man, woman and even child invited to celebrate the impending nuptials held themselves above all others. And while no one dared to speak outwardly with such hubris, Ahk could read each of them as clearly as the hieroglyphs scribed onto the walls.

Somehow, he mustered a smile and played his role perfectly all the while wishing to be miles from the noise of the palace, tangled together with Nouke under the stars.

After the second evening of myriad stories of uninspiring nature during dinner, Ahkmenrah snuck beyond the walls of his royal sanctuary and returned to Nouke’s farm with news he’d promised to bring.

“It is all very official and exhausting,” Ahk tutted with a mild scowl. Just thinking about what awaited him at the palace bled into the serenity of laying with Nouke in his arms, nestled among the cushions, their garments left in a forgotten heap nearby.

“Trust that I cannot wait to bring you home once and for all. However, I am also not ready to share you yet.” He smoothed the hair away from her face as she looked at him from where she laid on his chest. “I want to enjoy having you all to myself a while longer.”

Nouke smirked and kissed him softly.

“Mmm, I’ve never thought of you as a greedy man…” she teased as she traced the outline of his lips with her fingertips.

Ahk grinned and kissed the pad of each rough digit before speaking, “You will find that I am exceptionally greedy when it comes to you. I want you to be only mine, now and forever.”

“Now and forever,” she agreed with a breathy murmur.

Her eyes stayed fixated on his until she drew him into an affirming kiss that built lazily in a slow, sensuous expression of worship before passion swept them away for a second time.

What she gave, he took—her name a low hum tumbling from his lips. What he gave, she took—holding him close enough for their hearts to beat in perfect synchronization. They made love in a symphony of wanton expressions whispered into the night air with breathless praise until they reached that glorious peak together. And when morning came with the harsh break of day—golden light pulling them from the depths of their slumber—it was too soon.

He left his bride to be with a kiss and the promise it would only be a few more days until they could spend their lives together.

It was that night he’d spent tangled with the woman he loved—his best friend—that Ahkmenrah held in his mind the days that followed. He clung to images of Nouke like a valuable life source; granting him the energy to masquerade through every dinner and introduction that remained.

***

“I have made the arrangements for you to collect your bride tomorrow at mid-day,” Merenkahre said from his usual seat at the council table.

Ahkmenrah blinked out of his thoughts, suppressing a yawn, doing his best to fend off his exhaustion a while longer, and grinned.

“After which,” his father continued. “You and your desired bride will be wedded with an audience of your advisors and guests of your choosing. Festivities will then commence before twilight.”

The pharaoh's sudden influx of enthusiasm was difficult to keep from his features when he nodded, not wanting his excitement to mar his kingly composure.

“Perfect,” he said.

Idly, his eyes skirted around the table, mentally noting which of his advisors he wanted in attendance until his sweeping glance stopped on the empty chair reserved for the Consul of Montu. A pang of guilt bit into Ahkmenrah with enough potency to taint both his enthusiasm and his resolve the longer he stared at the barren spot.

The presence of the vacant seat was suddenly crushing with guilt, and a frown fought to twist onto his features. Almost a week had passed since banishing Kahmunrah to the cells with only his name and no titles. And not one of those days went by without Ahkmenrah brooding over the punishment he’d bestowed upon his brother.

Even with ample distractions at hand, his mind could not surrender how they parted. The scene in his memory stirred a sense of betrayal—his betrayal to Kahmunrah. Ahkmenrah never wanted to be a ruler who dealt with his problems by burying them in a cell to be forgotten. Or worse yet, a king who executed and silenced his problems. How Kah would have preferred I run things.

The council meeting finished quickly when the pharaoh could find no other topics to discuss suddenly too laden with grief to proceed effectively. With the men gone, the walls of the council chamber became a meditative space for him to ponder.

The day that would follow was to be one of the happiest of his life, and yet, Ahk felt that joy abruptly strangled; his guilt and the anger he held on to, like beasts he needed to slay.

The fury in his soul for what had been done to Nouke and Setshepsut remained deep and unsated, tormenting Ahkmenrah with unease. Wrath could devour a good man if it was left to fester. Already the infection was spreading. Ahk’s torrid heart wanted Kahmunrah to know punishment for the things he’d done, and still, the pharaoh’s mind screamed and begged for him to let the past be covered in sand—forgotten.

With right and wrong poised so precariously in his head; he wasn’t sure which side of the scale to leap onto.

Minutes passed, the oversaturated colors of sunset vanquished by the black of night when Ahkmenrah finally relinquished a slow, weighted breath. He rubbed his temples hoping the added pressure would deter the ache beginning to swell in his skull as his frenzying thoughts became too much to fathom.

Letting go of his anger and forgiving his brother was the only way to ensure growth could come from all that transpired. Holding onto resentment would only permit stagnation. Ahkmenrah had no choice but to face his brother.

***

Of all the buildings located on the palace grounds, the cellblock was not constructed with intricate detail or grandeur of any kind. The stone structure was far from the central palace, a narrow edifice with almost no windows and lit mostly by mounted torches along the length of the corridor. It had been years since the pharaoh found himself in the dismal confines of the cellblock. He’d visited last with his father during one of his lessons, and Ahkmenrah liked those walls even less now than he did then.

The sting of guilt surfaced again as he took in the bleak accommodation once more. How could I have condemned my brother to live in such squaller?

The man on guard, stationed just outside the doorway, greeted the pharaoh with a shocked expression and hasty bow.

“My king!” The man did his best to chase away his shock, but his confusion was still obvious in the glow of the torch he held. “What business brings his majesty here?”

“My brother,” Ahk stated cooly. “I wish to speak to him.”

The man nodded and directed him to which of the long line of cells housed his brother.

Ahkmenrah counted his steps as he went, focusing on the numbers to distract himself from the dismal interior and the shame it all provoked. In the darkness, his brother was only a silhouette, perched on the back half-wall of his cell, and Ahk could feel the tendrils of Kah’s bitterness reaching vengefully through the bars.

“And so, the mighty pharaoh descends from on high to look upon the lowly and condemned.” Kahmunrah’s voice was cold, dripping with resentment. “What do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Surely my sentencing is not through already.”

The urge to recant a snide comment—to fight fire with fire—swelled on the tip of Ahkmenrah’s tongue, but he swallowed it. He refused to let any word passed his lips without having thoroughly thought it over first.

“Or have you come to gloat?” Kah gibed when Ahk struggled to piece a rational sentence together. “I overheard the guards talking about your impending nuptials to that servant girl I exiled. Congratulations."

A frown worked onto the pharaoh’s face taking note of the unabashed hate in his brother’s tone—a knife in his belly.

“It pains me you think I would come and rub my good fortune in your face. Have you ever known me to be so arrogant?”

Kahmunrah stood and moved into the singular beam of torchlight flickering through the bars of his cell. Without his usual golden raiment and accessories, Ahkmenrah had difficulty recognizing the man before him. His threadbare garments were a stark contrast to gold and gems, and they caused another wave of guilt to beat against Ahk.

“No,” Kahmunrah finally responded, looking as though the truth was akin to poison on his tongue. “You are the golden son—kind and humble.”

Kah spat at his brother’s feet, “Weak. You are weak for a king.”

Ahkmenrah closed his eyes and let out a long meditative exhale to carry away the influx of anger. Venom soaked words would only kindle the flame of hate. Not acting on impulse was an arduous task, but Ahk had come to purge the contempt out of his system as calmly as he could.

“If you are attempting to provoke me, brother; I am sorry to disappoint you.”

Kah’s lips curled into a sneer, “Just as I said, weak.”

Ahk shook his head with disbelief, “Is it not tiring to hold onto all of that anger?”

The pharaoh’s own wrath was exhausting to carry day to day. How Kahmunrah managed to live all of his life in a perpetual state of ire was a feat to be admired, or respected at least.

“My anger is all I have thanks to you.”

Something cold and abject worked through Ahk with a chill. The truth of his brother’s words biting into him with such force, Ahkmenrah’s sure footing faltered and he leaned against the stone wall behind him for aid.

“Yes,” the pharaoh husked out. Even his whisper echoed eerily in the long corridor to haunt him.

It took him a minute or two to find his strength again, incrementally able to hold himself with the sturdy wall to brace against. Ahk’s focus was on his brother, looming threateningly just past the bars of his cage. Ahkmenrah found he could not look into his eyes—his guilt beginning to swallow him completely.

“I did not want this for you, my brother. Do you not know that? I gain no pleasure from seeing you like this. In fact, I have felt nothing but guilt for days.”

“Good.”

Ahkmenrah sighed and swallowed the lump in the back of his throat, and willed himself to meet Kahmunrah’s glower.

“I’m sorry..." Ahk said. “I am sorry you were denied what you thought was rightfully yours. I’m sorry for what I have done to you.”

He paused long enough to blink away the tears beginning to brim his eyes before he continued. “But…you left me with little choice. And for that too, I am sorry.”

Kahmunrah’s black eyes never turned away, nor did his expression of cold hatred ebb. It was staggering to see such emptiness behind living eyes, and their piercing leer did little to allay the lingering guilt. Still, Ahkmenrah continued.

“Do you want to know what else?" he sighed. “I forgive you…I must.”

Slowly, the heavy veil of the pharaoh’s anger started to slip away. The gravity of his words would be lost on Kahmunrah, but the salvation Ahk felt releasing years of tension almost made up for his brother’s apathy.

“I do not want to live my life as you have: harboring grudges and wishing ill upon others. And it is my hope, one day, you could do the same. I want that for you.”

Ahkmenrah half shrugged and his eyes dropped their focus to the shadowed void behind Kah as he considered his brother’s previous observation.

“Maybe that does make me weak…” The pharaoh’s voice faded as the remaining pieces of his anger crumbled and drifted away.

All at once, his mind was overrun with a thousand thoughts that made the ache in his head begin to pulse again. The silence that filled the narrow cell block was sullen and heavy, but Ahk used it to sift through the teeming thoughts in his head quietly.

Kahmunrah sulked back to the shadows of his cell, this time sitting on the ground, his back propped against the wall. Ahk sagged against the wall behind him as well, folding under the weight of his thoughts until he sat, mirroring his brother.

“I want so much for us to be brothers…” Ahk confessed softly.

A single, mirthless chuckle cracked Kah’s silence.

“Well,” he stated in a low voice, devoid of sympathy. “Take a lesson from someone who knows all about disappointment, little brother. And learn that we do not always get what we want.”

A sad smile ghosted over Ahk’s lips as a solitary tear spilled down his cheek. It was foolish to hope his brother would ever change, but Ahkmenrah would never give up.

With a deep breath to build his strength, Ahkmenrah stood feeling, more or less, lighter. All the poison was at last purged from his system, but a hint of disappointment remained as he realized how ruthlessly his brother continued to cling to the bitterness inside.

Sleep beckoned the pharaoh with a yawn, the promise of rest alluring for his frenzied mind. However, one thought dug its hooks too deep in the forefront of his mind to go without seeking an answer. The question alone made Ahk’s stomach churn, but he was much too exhausted to fight his curiosity.

“I dread thinking you may have had a hand in what happened all those years ago regarding the disappearance of my tablet. Framing Nouke’s family to be rid of them—to hurt me.”

He paused, feeling his stomach slosh again, “The assassin even….”

That night flashed so vividly in his mind; the man over him with a knife drawn ready to take his life. Ready to kill a boy of fifteen who’d known no enemies apart from one... Ahkmenrah glanced into the black of Kahmunrah’s cage. No response came from its depths, the deafening stillness causing a chill to prickle over the pharaoh’s skin. And as he left, Ahkmenrah could not decide if Kahmunrah’s silence filled him with more confirmation or fear.

Next Chapter-> Chapter Fifteen: Together Again

#Ahkmenrah #Ahkmenrah x Original Character #Ahkmenrah Fanfiction #Night at the Museum #NATM #NATM Fanfiction #Left to Ruin #Rami Malek Character #Rami Malek Character Fanfiction #Rami Malek Fanfiction #Rami Malek

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beatlejuice64 · 5 years

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Destiel: Season 9 - A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 9 Summary Analysis

Cas struggles with being human, so when Dean and Sam find him, Cas is relieved to have a place to call home. Gadreel (posing as Ezekiel) threatens Sam’s safety if Dean does not get rid of Cas, so Dean tell Cas to leave. Cas is very upset by this and tries to move on, but when Dean eventually confides the whole situation to him, Cas forgives Dean almost immediately. Cas organizes an angel rebellion after he regains his powers, but he gives it all up to save Dean’s life. After Gadreel kills Kevin, Dean spirals into self-loathing and distances himself from both Cas and Sam. The Mark of Cain sparks a streak of self-destruction for Dean.

My interpretation: Dean telling Cas to go hurts Cas deeply, partly because he takes it as a personal rejection. Cas feels the weight of all of his recent mistakes, and the added rejection from the man he loves triggers a state of depression. When Dean shows up later asking for Castiel’s help, Cas acts resentful (Misha Collins mentioned in an interview that showrunner Jeremy Carver gave him a note to act like a jilted lover. Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/supernatural-premiere-season-9-misha-collins_n_4066250). Cas struggles to figure out how to continue living without Dean, and when Dean finally tells him what’s been going on, he’s relieved to find out that Dean did not want him gone. With a renewed sense of self, Cas digs himself out of depression as he helps the other fallen angels, and the rebellion gives him a solid sense of atonement for his betrayal of heaven. Even after all of Castiel’s efforts to repair his broken relationship to heaven, he still ends up choosing Dean over heaven yet again, despite the strain that has arisen between him and Dean. Nothing is more important to Cas than Dean’s safety, not even the respect of his fellow angels and the power of an army behind him. Dean pushes Cas away with his preoccupation to save Sam, and the Mark of Cain exacerbates Dean’s emotional distance from Cas as it shortens his temper and makes him more violent. Castiel’s new celebrity status among the angels makes Dean feel uncomfortable because he’s used to having somewhat of a monopoly on Castiel’s attention.

9.01 I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here

While Sam is in the hospital, Dean prays to Cas, setting aside his anger and expressing his need for emotional support: “Cas, are you there? Sammy’s hurt. He’s hurt pretty bad, and, um, I know you think that I’m pissed at you, k? But I don’t care that the angels fell, so whatever you did or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter, k? We’ll work it out. Please, man, I need you here.”

When Cas calls Dean, the first thing he does is explain that he did not mean to cause the angels to fall and that he was tricked by Metatron. Dean brushes it aside and fills Cas in on what’s going on. Cas shows genuine concern for Sam, saying he’s on his way to help. Dean, worried for Castiel’s safety, tries to convince Cas to protect himself instead of saving everyone else: “Have you heard my prayers? I’ve been praying to you all night.” “Dean, Metatron, he took my grace.” “What?!” “Don’t worry about me. What are you doing for Sam?” “Everything I can. There’s actually another angel in there working on him right now.” “What other angel?” “His name is Ezekiel. He’s cool. I mean, I think he is.” “Ezekiel, yes. He’s a good soldier. He should be able to help until I get there.” “Wait, no, no, no, no. Hey, that’s not an option.” “It might be a few days, but...” “Hey, Cas, listen to me. There are angels out there, okay? And they’re looking for you, and they’re pissed.” “Not all of them, Dean. Some are just looking for direction. Some are just lost.” “What’re you talkin’ about?” “I met one. I think I can help her, Dean.” “No, Cas. I know you wanna help, okay? I do. But helping angels is what got you in trouble in the first place. Now, I’m beggin’ you, for once, look out for yourself. Until we figure out what the hell is goin’ on, trust nobody.” “And do what? Just abandon them all?” “Damnit, Cas. You hearin’ yourself? There’s a war on, and it’s on you. There’s thousand of ‘em out there... you said you lost your grace, right? That means you’re human. That means you bleed and you eat and you sleep, and all the things you never had to worry about before.” “I’m fine, Dean.” “Look, get your ass to the bunker alone. You hear me? Go, Cas!”

Cas chooses to help Dean over helping the angel Hael.

9.03 I’m No Angel

Dean is worried about Castiel’s safety, especially after learning that other angels are after him: “...the more of them that are after Cas, the worse it is, so we gotta find him.”

Cas is struggling with being human and gets injured during an angel attack. A woman named April takes him in and shows him kindness. He opens up to her emotionally, and they end up sleeping together, but she turns out to be an angel manipulating him for information. Dean and Sam arrive just in time to see her kill him. After Dean kills her, he runs over to Cas and yells for him in anguish, grabbing his face. After Gadreel heals him, Dean is relieved: “Never do that again!”

When Cas reveals that he had sex with April, Sam and Dean are flabbergasted and amused. Dean asks if he used protection.

Cas expresses appreciation for the boys’ humanity and expects to be able to learn from them: “I do now see how difficult life can be, and how well you two have led it. And I think you’ll be great teachers.”

When Gadreel tells Dean that Cas can’t stay with them, Dean tries to convince him to change his mind, but Gadreel forces Dean’s hand by threatening Sam’s safety.

Castiel’s humanity helps him understand the importance of his relationship with Dean: “Cas, uh, can we talk?” “Of course. Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks, and our time together.”

When Dean reluctantly tells Cas to go, Cas is extremely hurt and incredulous.

9.04 Slumber Party

Dean wishes he hadn’t been forced to make Cas leave: “Hey, look, nobody wants him here more than I do, okay?”

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

Cas calls Dean to alert him to a case. When Dean shows up, Cas is standoffish because he’s still upset about being asked to leave. When Dean makes fun of Castiel’s job at the convenience store, Cas gets defensive: “What’re you doing here?” “Gee, it’s nice to see you, too, Cas.” “It’s Steve now. And you surprised me.” “Well, the feeling is mutual. I mean, I knew you had to lay low from the angel threat, but, uh, wow. This is some cover.” “My grace is gone. What did you expect? Do you any idea how hard it was when I fell to earth? I didn’t just lose my powers. I had nothing. Now, I’m a sales associate.”

Dean persuades Cas to join him in the investigation, even though Cas is still acting jilted: “There was another kill over at the high school. You comin’?” “I wouldn’t be much use. I don’t have my powers.” “So? I’ve never had powers.” “You are a hunter.” “And you’re a hunter in training, remember?” “Yeah, I remember. You said I sucked.” “I didn’t say that. I said that there was, uh, you know, room for improvement. Come on!” “Alright, my shift’s over in five minutes, and my date’s not until later, so...” “Attaboy! I’ll go get the car.” “Not just yet. I have to clean the bathroom.”

When Cas is nervous about continuing the hunt, Dean encourages Cas to try to live a “normal life.” Dean drops Cas off for his date and gives him advice and support, recognizing Cas as an attractive man: “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

The angel Ephraim explains that he came because he heard Castiel’s pain: “I just followed the sound of your pain. You have no idea how loud it is. I could hear you for miles.”

Dean recognizes how unhappy Cas is and apologizes for telling him to go.

9.09 Holy Terror

When Dean and Sam encounter Cas on a case, Sam is amused and glad to see him, but Dean is uncomfortable because he knows Gadreel won’t like it. Cas is excited to be working with the boys again.

Cas and Dean bro out about April: “She was hot.” “So hot. And very nice... up to the point she started torturing me.” “Yeah. Well, not every hook up is perfect.”

Gadreel pressures Dean to get rid of Cas, but Dean defends him: “You know what? Cas isn’t in good standing with ANY angel, alright? But here he is, ass on the line, fightin’ the good fight. So tell me, what makes you so special?”

Cas is disappointed when Dean rejects him yet again: “I, um, noticed that you look kind of uncomfortable whenever Sam mentions my leaving. Doesn’t he know that you told me to leave?” “Here’s the deal. When Sam was doin’ the trials to seal up hell, it messed him up, k? The third one nearly killed him. If I’d let him finish, it would have. He’s still messed up, bad.” “You said the angel Ezekiel helped heal him.” “Look, I gotta do anything I can to get him back. Now, if that means that we keep our distance from you for a little while, then I don’t have a choice. I don’t feel good about it, but I don’t have a choice. It’s great to have your help, Cas, k? But we just can’t work together.”

The first thing Cas does when he escapes Malachi’s torture prison is call Dean to debrief him on the situation and tell him that Ezekiel is dead.

9.10 Road Trip

Dean calls Cas after Kevin is killed and explains everything to him. Cas is sympathetic and nonjudgmental: “God, I was so damn stupid.” “You were stupid for the right reasons.” “Yeah, like that matters.” “It does. Sometimes that’s all that matters.“

Cas does whatever he can to help Dean save Sam from Gadreel’s possession, and he tries to make Dean feel better while Gadreel is being tortured by Crowley: “Hey.” “I can’t watch that anymore.” “I understand. It’s not Sam, but it’s still Sam.” “Pretty much, yeah.”

Dean and Cas make amends and forgive each other for their mistakes: “How’re you doin’?” “You wanna talk about me now?” “I wanna talk about anything that’s not Demons sticking needles into my brother’s brain. Yeah, humor me, man. How you doin’?” “Um, I’m okay.” “Good, good. That’s, uh... so, what, you just change the batteries out, power back up? It’s that easy?” “It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t have a choice.” “Yeah. Well, that’s usually how it goes. Cas, I’m sorry.” “About what?” “Kickin’ you outta the bunker. That’s, uh... you know, not tellin’ you about Sam.” “You thought his life was at stake.” “Yeah, I got played.” “I thought I was saving heaven. I got played, too.” “So you’re sayin’ we’re both a couple of dumbasses?” “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb, less ass.”

When Cas finds out the angel possessing Sam is Gadreel, he flies off the handle with anger, but Dean successfully calms him down: “I get it, but you gotta chill.”

Cas is visibly concerned when Dean tells Sam he’s leaving to be on his own because he feels like he’s “poison.”

9.11 First Born

Cas stops short of extracting all of Gadreel’s grace from Sam because he isn’t willing to let Sam die. Cas and Sam grow closer after Cas explains that his experience of being human taught him that all life is sacred and the ends don’t justify the means.

Crowley comments on Dean’s sense of self loathing: “Your problem, mate, is that nobody hates you more than you do. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

9.17 Mother’s Little Helper

Crowley jokes about Dean’s sexuality: “You’re lying to Sam like he’s your wife, which kinda makes me your mistress.”

9.18 Meta Fiction

When Cas gets in touch with Sam and Dean, he smiles when he hears Dean’s voice: “How are you, Dean?” “I’m fine, Cas. How ‘bout you?” “I miss my wings. Life on the road smells.” Dean smiles at Castiel’s comment.

Gabriel jokes about Castiel’s relationship to Dean: “Your boy toy and I are rolling our way towards your top secret domicile.”

When Cas meets up with Sam and Dean, he notices that there is something different about Dean. When he finds the Mark of Cain on his arm, he looks worried: “What have you done?” “It’s a means to an end.” “Damn it, Dean.”

The song “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine” by Franki Valli plays while we see Cas return to his hotel room and call on the other angels for help: “Loneliness is the coat you wear. A deep shade of blue is always there. The sun ain't gonna shine anymore, the moon ain't gonna rise in the sky, tears are always clouding your eyes, when you're without love.”

9.21 King of the Damned

Cas calls Sam and Dean for help with an interrogation. When they see each other, Cas gives them both big hugs. Dean is weirded out by Castiel’s celebrity status and is skeptical of the situation because he doesn’t trust the other angels: “So, you’re done with the rough stuff, and you want us to be your goons?” “Well, you’ve had success at these situations before. If you don’t wanna do it, I understand.” “Who says I don’t wanna do it?”

Dean calls Cas out for being naive, and Cas gives him a concerned look: “Well, I’m gonna say it. Maybe your operation’s been hacked. You know, Metatron’s got somebody on the inside.” “I was sure everyone here was loyal, finally united by a common cause.” “Well, that’s the problem. See, you don’t think anybody’s lying. I think everybody’s lying. It’s a gift.”

9.22 Stairway to Heaven

Dean affectionately refers to Cas as a dork: “I called Cas. He said there’s something going down in Missouri.” “What kind of something.” “He said he couldn’t talk about it over the phone.” “Why?” “Because he is a weird guy, okay? He’s a weird, dorky little guy. But he happens to have an army of angels behind him, and, even though I hate to say it, if we’re gonna take a shot at Metatron, they might be useful.”

Dean is visibly uncomfortable with Castiel’s status among the other angels and teases him for it: “You hold, uh, roll call?” “They like to hear me say their names.” “I know a couple of women like that.”

Dean calls Cas out for naivete again, and some of his lingering resentment bubbles to the surface: “Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay? I do. You try. But what you got here, this is a freakin’ cult. Last time you had this kind of juice, you did kill humans, and angels. And you did nothin’ but lie to me and Sam about it the whole damn time!”

Sam is annoyed at Cas and Dean’s bickering: “Will you stow the baggage, Dean?”

Cas is upset that Dean doesn’t seem to trust him or want his help: “So I should just sit here?” “Pretty much.” “No. If you don’t want my help, then I will follow Josiah’s trail to Colorado. I have to do something, Dean.” “Alright, fine, but Sam’s coming with you.” “Because you don’t trust me?” “To help.”

Cas talks to Sam about his concern for Dean: “Does Dean seem different to you?” “Yeah. Lately, he seems to be amped up... you know, on edge.” “Effects of the Mark?” “What else?” “He does seem angry. I mean, he’s always a little angry, but now it seems like more. I think a part of him actually believed that I ordered those angels to, you know... Sam, you don’t do you?” “No, man. Cas, listen, you gotta weird thing goin’ I’m back there. Those other angels, the way they stare at you, it’s like you’re part rock star, part L. Ron.” “They’ve put their faith in me.” “And maybe that’s the problem. I mean, people have been doing messed up crap in the name of faith, in the name of God, since forever.” “Well, I’m not trying to play God. I’m just trying to get my people home.”

The angels make Cas choose between their loyalty and Dean’s life, and he chooses Dean: “You gave us order, Castiel, and we gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.”

Dean recognizes the sacrifice Cas just made for him and tells him he has their support, demonstrating that his faith in Cas has been restored: “So batteries...” “I’m fine.” “No, you’re not. How long you got? Long enough to destroy Metatron, I hope. But without an army...” “Well, Hey, you still got us.” “Dean, those bombers, you don’t really think that I...” “Cas, you just gave up an entire army for one guy. No, there’s no way that you blew those people away.” “You really believe we three will be enough?” “We always have been.”

9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?

Metatron comments on Castiel’s prioritization of Dean, and Cas doesn’t challenge his assumption: “So Gadreel bites the dust, and the angel tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe, is in pieces. And for what, again? Oh, that’s right—to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

#destiel #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #spn #deancas

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scorpio-karma · 5 years

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Let's Finish Season Fucking Two: 2x18-22

So in 2017 I started to rewatch the show but had to stop at 2x11 because Elena annoyed the crap out of me. I literally needed to take a step back and didn't restart my rewatch until 2018 where I have been basically trudging my way through 2x12-17 because I want to rewatch S3, as it's the season I've forgotten the most about.

So last week with a half of a bottle of wine I made it my mission to finish out the season so 2019 I can rewatch season 3 and maybe remember Kol, but I kinda doubt it. I'll probably come out shipping Klonnie more, if I don't see too many temper tantrums.

2x18:

First of all, this is a terrible episode to start with because it's the episode where Bonnie dies for the first time, so dealing with that is going to be annoying. Second of all why do the recap always explain that Elena and Katherine look alike. Not only is that the least complicated part of the show, but it's also the entire fucking premise of TVD. If you didn't know that by the end of season 2 you're really fucking slow, but I guess they planned according for their audience. Also, lots of people look like Nina, so I don’t know how this is the most “unbelievble part of the show.

Anyway, on to the episode. Matt Davis made a great Klaus. I may hate him, but I'm not ashamed to admit he was attractive to me playing the evil Original, but he equally creeped me out which is why I say he made a great Klaus. The way he kissed Katherine's forehead and basically leered at Elena and other students honestly made me more uncomfortable than watching Penn Badgley in You. Davis should play villains more often, seems to be his niche since Legally Blonde. (Although he didn't do a great job with evil!Alaric in season 3 from what I remember, it was a weak storyline that even I couldn't get into when I mindlessly watched the show, it was how I noticed the drop in quality then) Don't get me wrong I like JoMo's portrayal of him too just really only this season before they woobiefied him.

You know, rewatching all of this I’m noticing more and more that Nina isn't that great of an actress. Like, I was never overwhelmed with her talent before and I definitely am not now especially as I watch her play Katherine scared and there is no difference in the way she plays Elena scared. It's like how Elena with no Humanity is Katherine, well Katherine scared for her life is Elena. There's no nuance when she plays these characters. The only difference is the hair and when season 4 rolls around not even that.

Which brings me to Elena stupidity which I'm not even surprised. First, knowing her life is in danger she goes to school and endangers others lives, under the order of it's my way. Which first of all sweetie, your way has always sucked, until you yield good results maybe hold off on making plans. Second of all, the only reason you know you'll be fine is because Bonnie will save you which is a consistent pattern of hers--risking her life with the confidence that someone will always save her which annoys me because what about everyone else. First it was not staying in the car so she hindered saving Stefan, then it was manipulating Damon, and now it's risking everyone else's lives including Bonnie's because school? Which is where I get confused, no one, especially her, are particularly studious, so why the sudden need to go to school. You could ditch and no one would care because Jenna's out of town.

Which brings me to another thing which I'm sure I went over when Jenna left, but leaving teenagers alone for days at a time because you feel betrayed by your boyfriend and teenage niece you have guardianship over is just...I have no words.

When I was 15 my mom had to go out of town for a convention in San Francisco I couldn't come with her due to school. She was gone for 3 days and I had to stay with my Great Aunt and Uncle because even at 15 you don't just leave your kids alone for days at a time (and also my mom was over protective and paranoid but that's beside the point). At least leave an adult in charge, maybe John, he's probably got to be salty that Jenna was God parent and not him, he is in fact Elena's actual father. There were so many nuances with John the could have had, but I'll get to that in later episodes.

See I understand Jeremy being salty at John for killing his girlfriend, who by the way managed to get over it, but I don't understand Elena's disdain for him. It was there before she found out he was her father, before he enabled the device, she just didn't like him and it's never explained. Like honestly when I think about the reason Elena annoys me the most it isn’t that she whines (which has never really been my big complaint with her), it’s the reasons she’s whining and in this case I have extra annoyance because there are actual reason for her to be this salty towards John and none of them are the reasons she uses.

I noted that Klaus had no plans of killing Bonnie until she became a legitimate threat. The only thing that’s honestly annoying me about this is the direction I know they take Bonnie and her magic in season three. She’s powerful and a legit threat against the original hybrid and yet she’s damn near powerless in later seasons it just irks me.

Also noted, I’m not making any arguments for Bamon, it’s just there is a stark difference in chemistry when Damon dances with Bonnie opposed to Elena. For one, when he’s with Elena he legitimately looks like he can’t dance, all his lines are stiff, as are Elena’s. I can at least forgive Nina since she’s supposed to be frosty towards him, but Ian, this is during a time he was dating her meaning he wasn’t pulling petty shit from the finale--he just legitimately doesn’t have chemistry with Elena.

When he’s Bonnie all of that changes, suddenly he does have dance skills, his lines flow naturally, even his acting improves tenfold and he can play nuances that aren’t eyebrow movement. There’s a reason why he’s only bearable when he’s in scenes with Kat unfortunately those scenes are far and few between and always about Elena.

In a weird twist of events Bonnie has the better costume than Elena--she doesn’t even look like a caricature of the 60s other than the go-go boots. Also Caroline dressed as Jackie O. has an amount of irony I don’t even thing she’s aware of.

Bonnie bossing Jeremy around was hot which is new for me as I don’t care anything about Beremy. That paired with Damon’s “not caring” it was an overall good episode for Bonnie...until she’s stuffed in the trunk of Damon’s Camero.

Bonnie’s line “If the situation was reversed would you do it for me?” just has me rolling my eyes because we all know the answer to that--no, Elena wouldn’t do the same for you Bonnie and she continually doesn’t do the same for you so cut your losses. In fact that’s my advice for the entire series, cut your losses, let Elena die, so many more people will get to live when she does.

So when we do finally get to Bonnie’s death I actually agreed with Damon’s sentiment of “it had to look real” Elena is a terrible actress (Elena not Nina though she has a lot of questionable acting), it’s so bad they trusted Jeremy more and he’s not so great either. Also why are they spending so much time on Elena’ pain at Bonnie’s death and not the character who actually died--it’s the Abby situation pre-Abby, like we should have seen that shit a mile away if this is any indicator.

Although, in an unexpected twist, the episode ends on a a decision of Elena’s I agreed with. Granted it came with me screaming at Elena for apologizing to Damon like??? even if I understood the reasoning she literally owed him nothing, but count on Plec with misogyny for the win, and Williamson lest we forget he’s also responsible for this mess. Anyway after Damon’s words, Elena undaggering Elijah was the best decision she made and this is before the betrayal, so I at least understand trusting him.

2x19:

We start with Nina’s god awful English accent. When she ran lines someone should have made her keep the Bulgarian on from the first Katherine flashbacks because Nina can’t fake an accent to save her life. Also much like the flashback in S7 the Katherine flashbacks with Elijah and Klaus are not only unnecessary, but explain very little. How exactly did Katherine escape? Why didn’t they compel her? Did she have access to vervain? Like little is explained about her duality then and why exactly Elijah had issues Katherine. All that was explained is that they were almost lovers. Honestly all we learned about Katherine is that she really likes for people to chase after her.

Damon is just as bad at plans as Elena. Like I hate them both, but sometime DE are a match made in heaven with how awful they are at things. Like I understand trusting Elena’s lead is actually pretty rational given her past decisions, but you way of thinking isn’t any better. Leave the thinking to those who can actually do it.

This is JoMo’s first episode and you know what? I really miss this Klaus. Also when they do the “Niklaus” reveal I thought it was absolutely ridiculous when I first watched it. I still find it ridiculous, but I realize that much like Mikael, Kol, and Rebekah, it was the “fancy” way of spelling Nicolas, and I’m even more pissed off. No wonder I equate the introduction of each Original to introducing another Kardashian--they really love their K’s.

Elijah trying to use OMG as a cultural reference was just cringe. “Our whole family was human” I wonder at what point they decided to retcon this? Probably around the time they realized they could do anything creative with vampires. Also this line “my mother bore seven children” I thought no one knew Freya existed. Finn, Elijah, Klaus, Rebekah, Kol, Henrik, and then Freya--how is she their long lost sister if they already knew about her?

You know I spent so much time away that I literally forgot about Andie, and now I’m very creeped out. They follow the classic domestic abuse formula where she keeps coming back when she has the option to leave. You know, when rape becomes Stolkholm Syndrome and in Plec and Williamson form they try to convince you that this is a normal vampire thing even having the victim saying “I’m perfectly fine with this”. There were so many Nos.

I remember that the whole Sun and the Moon curse was fake, what I did not remember is that Klaus and Elijah started it. I thought Esther started it to dupe Klaus and that the whole sacrifice was for no reason. I have yet to see S3 so that thought might still be correct. Also, white supremacy essentially causing the war between vampires and werewolves--not surprising, but still disappointing.

Jenna’s reaction to finding out about vampires is appropriate granted her cluelessness up until this point is a whole other level. And Stefan’s serious face towards Klaus seems to to just look at him cross-eyed which I never noticed. And of course we end the episode on on of the lamest vampire fights of all time--they really ran out of ideas around here.

2x20:

So Tyler’s back! Unfortunately it’s because Klaus threw his mom down a flight of stairs. Man, he’s been hurting his mom for quite some time. That sire bond really did a number on him to forget this shit. At least he has that excuse, all Elena ever had was “love” and “hope” like bitch,Damon’s been terrorizing your friends and family, he’s had more than enough chances to prove himself. Also Tyler came back for important things. Sorry, Caroline stans, but Caroline missing him isn’t important when his freedom is on the line.

“Damon s the problem, not Caroline,” listen to Matt, Liz.

I’ll give Matt Davis this, he was a pretty good actor here. The distinct differences between Alaric and Klaus were a lot better than the cliches Nina was using. But then again because he only put against her acting that’s probably why it seemed good. I’m sure there is a lot better (I’ve never seen Orphan Black but I don’t doubt she did a better job at playing her clones than Nina did with any of her doppelgangers).

It must be easy to brutalize Elena after brutalizing Katherine so much--he never missed an opportunity to hit her. Although him shoving vamp blood down Elena’s throat wasn’t as anger inducing as it should have been since it reminded me of a time when Damon being the wild card actually made sense. Not just so much that given how early it is in the show him doing random things makes sense, but that his random actions make sense, less man pain, and was actually strategic.

Also why didn’t Katherine drink vamp blood and then go through with the sacrifice--they had the same results except one less angry hybrid. Is this ever explained as to why vamp blood can’t be in your system for the ritual?

Which now that Elena is essentially taken care of, I suggest using the elixir on Bonnie so she can take down Klaus without dying and then we can avoid the whole thing.

Tyler really should have listened to Jules, but then again, I know she’s the one who dies in the end so maybe she should have followed her own advice.

Also I remembering why SE was never my jam--it was a lot of babysitting Elena and her “I don’t knows”. THEN STOP MAKING MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS UNTIL YOU DO KNOW. “I’m 17 years old, how am I supposed to know any of this?” you aren’t sweetie and that’s exactly the point however I don’t understand how being a vampire is worse to her than the possibility of being dead. From what she lists off as what she wants to do, they all can still happen as a vampire, not so much when you’re dead. And even if she does turn she doesn’t have to fully transition so I don’t get the mourning period she’s having especially since THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO FOCUS ON. Priorities, bitch.

I get Matt wanting to save Caroline--he clearly still loves her, but saving Damon? He said it himself--he’s the problem, he’s the reason your sister is dead, God! protagonist based morality really gets to me these seasons.

“You turned your back on me when I needed you” but did he, Caroline? If I recall, he saved you in the nick of time so...Also, you asked him to leave, what’s with playing victim all of a sudden (while equally forgetting the time you were a victim). Also, Caroline, you really need to listen to Tyler when he tells you to go, granted the other time she does this is in S5, but he’s literally in a position where he’s not in control of his actions and you are what he hunts. Go, when he says go! These women really need to stop with this “He’ll never hurt me” mentality when their monster is coming out because, bitch, how is that working out for ya?

Also the final scene with Klaus, Stefan, and Elena, I swear most of the dramaticism is in the music the scene isn’t heartbreaking enough for this music. And in a town filled with vampires Klaus needed to make a vampire? I remember not liking Jenna’s death and I like it even less here because it really was for no reason other than the writers don’t know how to write parental figures.

Which brings me to Greta. Her complete and utter indifference to her family being dead is really on par with TVD’s views on family. Even worse, it continues this black character forsakes all family for a white character mammy trope they always have with black witches. Although she does fit the Jezabel trope more, but I’m really tired of “loyal” black characters being loyal to everyone but themselves.

2x21:

This honestly should have been the season/series finale--it actually had a great natural ending. The only thing I’d tweak is Elijah following through, and then it would have been the perfect conclusion to this shit show. Instead we go on for another six seasons where they accomplished nothing other than more of a shit show.

So of course we start with Katherine “caring” for which honestly makes no canonical sense. Damon has literally always been a game for her so why either doppelganger bothers with him just honestly baffles me.

Also we start out with some classic Elena “pleading to their humanity” which was almost as laughable with Greta as it was with Kai. Like Bitch, did you not just see how she brushed off the deaths of her family, why is she going to give a flying fuck about you of all people?

Also Greta, sweetie, what are you doing? I get not wanting to serve nature, but Klaus? WHAT IS THIS NEW ORDER AND WHAT DOES SHE GET OUT OF IT? Because from where I’m standing, she’s in the exact same position as servant just now with an added side of “happy slave” because it wouldn’t be an episode of TVD without that trope. Despite TVD using black bodies as food, I will give Jenna props for going after Greta--someone finally using strategy and knowing Klaus has nothing without his witch.

Which brings me to how the MFG plans to defeat Klaus--they don’t and I’m not surprised since it focused completely on Elena. Elena is one out of three sacrifices and the only irreplaceable item--why not focus on the full picture and maybe accomplish something in the end. I’ll give it to Bonnie and her bad ass magic, but it’s honestly not enough. The entire plan hinged on Elijah who betrays them and Elena for some reason trusts again getting Abby killed and turned, but that’s salt for another review.

The salt for now is that Jeremy and Bonnie have been together in an abandoned house for days on end with really nothing to do, and they tried to convince me that season 5 was the first time her and Jeremy had sex, let alone that was her first time. I was suddenly reminded why I thought it was so weird to me that everyone thought that was when Bonnie lost her virginity--like I’d read it in fanfics and be just confused. Granted she hadn’t had a sex scene up until that point, but given the shows attitude toward sex I just assumed lack of virginity was everyone’s default. And then you had this shit, Beremy was never my favorite ship, but I wasn’t so in hatred of them that I would discredit them having a sex life because why wouldn’t they? Everyone else does, and given the shows attitude toward sex, if she was in fact a virgin that would have been known. Of course, my naive 16 year-old ass didn’t realize how asexual they were making her, but now at 25 and looking back at this I’m just pissed.

So when I looked back on season 2 I remember John being more of a villain, not surprising since the narrative treats him as such, but I literally remember him being turned into a vampire against his will and continuing the process. I’m realizing now I may have had him confused with Logan, but I was really surprised when throughout this entire rewatch John is human and then getting to this episode, knowing he dies at the end and the realizing he never was. I thought he was one before Jenna and that was just all kinda of wrong. I guess it’s because the episode had him apologize for all his wrong doings (none of which were his actual transgressions) and I guess my mind tried to rationalize.

Given my complete indifference towards Elena, it is kinda surprising that John’s letter to her still makes me cry, but I’ve always had the sentiment that John is the only person who made any sense sacrificing his life for Elena. TVD may not value familial relationships but I do. However his “prejudices” line gets to me because he was right--vampires are dangerous, and it irks me that Elena wasted the life he gave her. She doesn’t even manage to stay human for a fucking year, and not by her choice which he gave his blessing for. She just Elena’d it.

Overall this probably would have actually been a good episode if Klaus had actually died and it was the last episode. John dies for Elena, Elijah gets his revenge against Klaus, Damon is left for dead, and the series ends on the note that they’re no longer in danger--the end, finito, better than the acid trip series finale.

2x22:

If this episode needed to happen it should have been Damon’s farewell episode. Actually follow through on something with his character and have him make amends and having a heartfelt goodbye. End series and have every live happily ever after because Klaus and Damon are gone, and Katherine who had no relevance after this season leaves as she had no reason to stick around. Like this is where the series should have ended--it had a nice sense of finality missing from the actually series finale.

Anyway, on to the mess of a fucking episode it was first with Stefan, ever so loyal, ruining what could have been a great Damon death. Now this isn’t really because I dislike his character, it’s more that him dying especially here would have been at a time where that would be an actual loss, this anti hero role Plec kept insisting he was might have been able to have been accomplished with his death in this one episode. And best of all, I wouldn’t have had to deal with one more temper tantrum from him or Klaus.

Watching Alaric’s man pain is marginally easier to deal with because it’s not destructive, but then again he’s human so what would he have done. I’m sure original vampire Alaric would have went on some massacres because they can’t resist man pain destruction.

Caroline once again shoehorned, in today’s episode, a brother sister bonding moment between Jeremy and Elena that would, once again, suit Bonnie more, if even her at all because this is a scene that doesn’t require Caroline, but you gotta giver her that unnecessary screen time some how.

Stefan going to Emily literally makes no sense. As does Stefan’s entrance to the witch house. What do these women owe Stefan Nothing. What do these women owe Damon? Nothing. So the insistence that they help him makes no sense. But of course a black witch not serving a white vampire is useless to Plec so here we are.

The urgency of this episode was lost on me because it was getting in the way of a good plot--Damon’s death. Also after reanalyzing Jeremy’s death scene I’ve come to a few conclusions. First: in a crazy twist of events it is not in fact Damon’s fault. He was literally hallucinating out of his mind so I doubt he was thinking about anything logical. Second: Caroline snapping his neck before he officially died could have saved him. Bonnie even said it outloud--he needed to die a supernatural death to come back. In fact, it probably would have made more sense characterization wise given how she became a vampire. And lastly: even if Bonnie needed to bring him back the “spirits” shouldn’t have been so hard on her especially since they weren’t that hard on Stefan earlier. Like he shouldn’t have had to step one foot in that house--he’s still a murderous vampire, I don’t care how much of a “kind soul” he was as human that certainty didn’t translate into vampire form.

Overall this episode was abysmal but so is this series. My overall thoughts on season 2 is that it’s easily a stronger season, but still is god awful and has not aged well. Also the series would have really benefited if it was a two season vampire series from the late 2000s unfortunately that time period wouldn’t allow that. At the hype of vampires they were determined to milk that for everything they could and the still are with the train wreck that is Legacies. They need to let it die.

#tvd rewatch #tvd review #s2e18-22 #live watch #anti tvd #anti plec #anti williamson

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 5 years

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the one where Trucy accidentally finds out

a fic I wrote start to finish today, based on this conversation yesterday and two very great comments from @anza-redstar and @runningwolf62

It’s ten years, to the day, April 19, when Daddy and Uncle Miles come into the office with a box so big that Trucy has no idea how it fit into Uncle Miles’ sports car. “What is that?” she asks, tucking the book she was reading back onto the shelf so it doesn’t get lost in the mess, and scampering over to look at the box. “A new microwave?”

“No such luck, kiddo,” Daddy says. “We’re using this one until it explodes.”

Uncle Miles glowers, like he expects that the office microwave will indeed someday explode. (It’s not as old as Trucy, but it’s older than her time with Daddy. It’s older than his friendship with Aunt Maya. So is Charley. So are most of the things in the office that aren’t related to magic.) Then he fidgets, awkwardly -- Uncle Miles is a very awkward man, and when he isn’t in a courtroom or on a crime scene, most of his movements are awkward -- and holds his arm like it hurts, because that’s what he does when he’s uncomfortable enough to realize that he is being awkward. “These are items that the police held onto related to… to the case ten years ago. Your grandfather’s death.”

“Oh.”

“It’s mostly papers,” Uncle Miles continues, still awkward, and Trucy does him the favor of looking away from him and prying open the box. Whoever taped the top wasn’t trying very hard. “Anything the police hoped could help enlighten them on the case. Personally, I think it was unnecessary for them to seize all of this, but I was not on the case. I saw your parents’ wedding certificate, in there, for instance.”

“I wonder if this is where your birth certificate went,” Daddy says. “I had to pay a lot for a copy.”

Uncle Miles rolls his eyes. He almost smiles. Then the moment is gone and he is frowning. “Usually this wouldn’t be released for another five years -- the statute of limitations is fifteen years -- but considering that this case is… sort of solved, as best as it will ever be, I pulled a few strings.”

“Thanks for that, Edgeworth.”

There are two more smaller boxes inside the large box. Other papers are piled up haphazardly. It would give Uncle Miles a headache if he tried to sort through it for very long. At the top of the piles there is a small book that Trucy picks up and flips through. It’s handwritten -- a diary -- her grandfather’s handwriting, she recognizes from his book of tricks, the one that he left her father and he left her. She reads a page. Mundane, daily things. She’s glad for that. Life with the whole Troupe is fading from her memory, no matter how she tries to hold onto it. Maybe this will help refresh her memory. She flips through the pages and watches the words go by, until abruptly, the pages are blank. She runs her finger down the torn margin of a page. Something was ripped out, what might have been the last page.

She sets it aside. Daddy looks at it and his eyes widen. He looks a little sick.

“I don’t envy you having to decide what to keep,” Uncle Miles says. “Especially since you’re almost well-known enough to have cases, now.”

“Oh, come on.” Daddy shoves Uncle Miles in the shoulder. “One of these days, you’ve got to stop heckling me like I’m a newbie.”

“Hardly,” Uncle Miles says.

“Once I’ve had my badge again for as long as I did the first time, then you’ll be sorry.”

Trucy leaves them to argue and starts to shove the box out of the way. There’s almost a path clear enough on the floor for her to follow, and there’s space behind Polly’s desk for the box to sit. She picks up a stack of papers at random and plops them on the desk. There’s enough space on his desk and his chair for her to remove most of the loose papers from the box and get down to the other two, and a few folders. The first folder looks like insurance stuff. She gets up and walks over to Daddy’s desk and sets it down there. Hopefully it won’t disappear forever.

The smaller boxes look like they hold loose, non-paper memorabilia. Those will probably be the most fun to look through and so Trucy closes them and grabs some papers. She will save those as a treat for the end.

“Is that for a case?” Athena asks, absolute horror frozen on her face, stopped dead on the threshold. She would probably turn and sprint back through the office and out if Daddy weren’t standing right behind her.

He puts a hand on her shoulder to move her forward and aside. “Yep!” he says, cheerily.

Athena’s eyes are wide and she does not blink. She has not blinked for fifteen seconds. “You… you can take this one, Boss,” she says. “I’ve got, uh, another client, definitely -- Trucy looks like she’s got that covered as your co-counsel--”

“Athena. I’m kidding.”

The look she gives him, and then Trucy, is one of pure betrayal.

“It was from a case, a long time ago.” Daddy glances at Trucy, trying to gauge how much she’s okay with Athena knowing. Trucy shrugs. She likes Athena. She doesn’t care if Athena knows. She knows everything about Athena anyway. “When Trucy’s grandfather died, and when I adopted her.”

Died, not was killed, and while the latter is implied by it becoming a trial and a spectacle, Trucy always said died too because she never believed that either her father or Uncle Valant could ever have killed Grandfather. In her heart she knew that. And Daddy told her that was true, that Uncle Valant told him that was true.

Athena tilts her head. She must hear something. Trucy always knows if Daddy is lying but beyond that he is hard to read and that’s why he’s so good at poker. Athena has a better time figuring out what he is feeling. Sometimes Trucy asks her. “You had me scared for a minute there, Boss,” Athena says.

Trucy turns back to her papers, Athena sits down at her desk, and they both work in silence for a little while. Athena isn’t good at sitting still and eventually she is up on her feet, bouncing around the room to burn off some extra energy. “Anything interesting?” she asks.

“I’m looking at the boring stuff first,” Trucy replies. It isn’t boring, actually, not in her opinion. She’s a magician and a businesswoman and she knows now where she got it, her grandfather’s meticulous financial record-keeping. Maybe the police kept it because they thought he owed money to someone and that was why he was shot. There could be lots of reasons.

“Huh.” Athena stoops to examine the inside of the box and reaches in to poke at something. “Oh, boxes within boxes. Fun. That’s -- hey, who’s this?”

Trucy looks up. Athena is holding a small and rectangular page, a photo, examining it curiously. She must have pulled it out of one of the other boxes; Trucy doesn’t remember anything left lying in the bottom. “Let me see,” she says, extending a hand.

She knows the woman in the picture not by memory, but by the old Troupe memorabilia that she keeps carefully framed up on her walls, because she didn’t have photos her family together -- maybe this is where they all went -- and that was the best thing she had to remember all of them at once, Grandfather and Mommy and Daddy and Uncle Valant, because one was gone and then the other three were in quick succession. Athena should probably recognize her as well. She’s seen the old posters. “That’s my mom,” Trucy says.

Thalassa looks young, really young. How old was she when she had Trucy? How old was she when she disappeared? (Not died, because Trucy knows that disappeared can be a euphemism to shelter a little girl, but she also knows otherwise in her heart the way she knew that neither her father nor Uncle Valant killer her grandfather, and the way she knew that her father was only disappeared, not dead, until he was.) In the photo, she is more relaxed, posed naturally, than the posters, without any of the magician’s trappings. She has a smile like the sun, as bright as the bangle bracelets she has.

“Oh,” Athena says. Moms are a fraught subject for so many of them, Trucy (disappeared), Athena (dead), Apollo (gone), Pearl (jailed), Maya (dead).

“I don’t really remember her,” Trucy says. She turns the photo over in her hands looking for a date and finds the back is blank. ��She’s been gone most of my life.” She avoids dead again, the way Daddy avoided was killed about her grandfather. “She was a magician. The brooch I have was hers. Blue was her color, too.”

“Oh, really?” Athena sits on the floor. She probably wanted an excuse not to do work and now she has one. “I thought it was blue like Mr Wright.”

“It’s blue for both of them,” Trucy says, because she can’t parse out what came first, looking again at the promotional material with her mother’s face or at the dusty suits in her new daddy’s closet. “You know, it’s funny, now. I’ve lived with Daddy longer than I ever did with my other daddy and the Troupe.”

She’s eighteen. It’s been a full decade. She grew up without any of the Gramaryes. It was why she was so excited to welcome Mr Reus to her performance, because she had dreamed of performing on stage with her family, and he was the closest thing left around. And then that went south, and she got Polly instead.

“Yeah,” Athena says softly, touching her earring. “It’ll be -- another year, year and a half, and then I’ll have lived half my life without my mother.” Her hand remains on her earring. “What was her name?”

“Thalassa.”

After a few days, bleary-eyed sorting through pages, more finances and ancient stage diagrams and bookings for performance venues that have been renamed and renovated, she sets the remaining stacks of papers aside and cracks open the box that Athena found the photo in. There are dozens of newspaper clippings of reviews of performances, some old TV Guides that mention the Troupe, and some more photos. There’s a few of the four of them, a few of five of them with Reus, and she quickly sets those aside beneath some papers to figure out what to do with. They’re valuable, important, but she can’t stand to look at his face, can’t stand to see him with them after what he did. She wonders why the police kept these, either -- maybe looking for other suspects. Maybe they just boxed up Magnifi’s life and didn’t bother to think about what might be important for his granddaughter to have.

She and Athena go out and buy frames for every picture of her family, her mother and her parents together and them and Uncle Valant and all of them, happy, smiling, and all of them and little baby Trucy. At the bottom there’s a photo of her mother and baby Trucy, but there’s a date written on the bottom and it’s years before Trucy was born. How did someone get the date so wrong? Was it thoughtlessly added later? There’s another picture of her mother, so young, so young, laughing with a man with brown hair and a guitar. Who is he? Another reject of the Troupe? Some friend outside of it? The Troupe was pretty insular, Trucy knows that much -- they had a lot of practice and performing to do. Of course it was always just them.

The two mysteries go in one of Apollo’s desk drawers.

The other box, at the top, has a certificate of marriage for Thalassa Gramarye and Shadi Enigmar. Trucy stares at it for a long, long time.

Beneath that, her birth certificate. She goes to wave it in her daddy’s face. “Look what was in there!” she announces.

He doesn’t look up. “A magic dove.”

“Daddy!”

He grins and takes the paper from her. “Now we’ve got an extra copy of it. Good to know.” His eyes travel over the mess on his desk. “As long as I don’t lose it here.”

Her grandfather has another diary, even older, some of the pen and pencil scratches starting to fade. She shelves that with the other one, intending to read them but not sure what she’ll find, almost afraid after Reus that there might be something dark in them. Or maybe she’ll learn for sure why he was kicked from the Troupe. What if it isn’t what she’s sure it was, that he didn’t have the attitude for it? What if it is like he thought? She doesn’t have the certainty that she does for other things.

When she comes back to the box, after standing in front of the shelves for a long time and then running off to Eldoon’s with Athena, she thinks for a moment that she for some reason put her parents’ marriage certificate back in. Why would she do that? She can’t afford to be absent-minded. She has a business to run. She has almost tossed it aside in annoyance when the name catches her eye.

It isn’t her father’s.

Her heart sits in her throat. Her mother was married before? No one ever said that. Is there anyone alive who knew that until Trucy found this? The name is Jove Justice. JJ. It’s a name Trucy has never heard before. There’s a wedding photo beneath it that looks like it was taken at a courthouse. The man in the photo is the brown-haired man. Her mother looks still so young. How young was she when she was married the first time? Would it be like if Athena got married now? If Trucy did? She hasn’t removed the photo from the box, just stared at it and stared, and beneath it she sees hints of another certificate, another birth certificate, probably, certainly, and she is ready to yell over to the next room where her daddy and Athena are working on a case, but first, she looks at it. She looks at the names.

That isn’t her father’s name either.

A sibling? An older sibling, going by the date on the marriage certificate, and she is afraid of what she will find next. A death certificate? That would explain why no one ever spoke of this, why she grew up with no one her age around her, why when all the adults were gone she was alone --

She looks at the names again, not just Thalassa Gramarye and Jove Justice, but the baby. Baby boy. Her brother. Baby, her older brother. Her brother --

She’s losing her mind. No, she lost it, completely, finally, and it’s been six months since she’s seen Apollo, she’s only seen him once since May when she was sure he would be a fixture in her life for the rest of it, when she was sure she would always have him around to tease and annoy, and it’s because she misses him that her mind is doing this, is putting that name there, and she touches the words printed on the certificate and wonders when her eyes will refocus and she will actually learn the name of the brother she lost, her half-brother, son of Thalassa Gramarye and Jove --

Jove --

Justice.

Not sure what else to do, not sure how to react -- how did Pearl react when she learned about Iris? She was young then and maybe it made more sense then, maybe this would have made more sense to Trucy when she was little -- she screams.

This is, to put it mildly, not the best idea when the two people she shares the office with are two twitchy people who have had loved ones murdered and are still paranoid or traumatized from it, two people who go together to crime scenes and see bodies and piece together murders and are doing that right now and are in the worst mind frame to hear screaming.

Her daddy’s face is bloodless, and Athena has her fists up, and they barrel into the room together and find Trucy sitting on the floor surrounded by loose papers and photos and boxes and holding one in her hands and screaming.

Athena does not have the time to parse out what exactly the emotions of the scream are, because that can wait until they are out of danger, so when she finds the danger is apparently the written word, she stops and listens. It isn’t pain, or fear -- there is no fear in Trucy’s scream. If she had Widget analyze this, they would be spinning out of control with shock, not fear. And no anger. Sadness, blue cold sorrow, and joy, too, something red and warm, butting up against each other and drowning together in shock.

“Trucy, what’s wrong?” Mr Wright asks, crouching down to her level. His voice holds pain, of a sympathetic sort, pain and sadness. It’s written on his face, too, plain enough that Athena doesn’t need Apollo to see it. (Mr Wright sort of can notice things like Apollo did, and Trucy a little better, but neither of them are like Apollo.)

“My -- my mom -- my brother my brother -- he’s my half-brother – he’s my brother!”

Mr Wright doesn’t ask. She can’t hear anything when he’s silent. Something Athena can’t name flits across his face.

“Trucy, you don’t have a brother,” Athena says gently, sitting down next to her, moving to put an arm around her shoulders, wondering what words written on a paper could turn bright, composed Trucy into a gibbering mess. Trucy pushes her away and shoves the paper she is holding at her instead.

“My brother!”

It’s a birth certificate, dated twenty-four years ago. Athena starts to read it off. “Born to Thalassa Gramarye” – that’s Trucy’s mother’s name, but this can’t be Trucy – “and Jove…”

Oh, god, she’s heard the name Jove before, and it was in Khura’in, and it was the story of a dead father and a lost child who was never returned to his mother–

“Jove Justice,” she says, her voice finally unsticking, and it trembles, and anyone without her ears could hear her shock. “And – Apollo Justice.”

That’s Apollo, that’s their Apollo, twenty-four years old and a father named Jove but that’s Trucy’s mother, their Trucy, Gramarye, and her mother, Thalassa.

“He’s my brother,” Trucy says softly. “Polly’s my brother – Polly’s my brother and that’s – that’s why – that’s--” She springs up, runs out of the room, comes back a moment later with a photo of her mother. “Bracelets!” she shouts. “Look, look, it’s like – like his!”

Golden bangle bracelets with a thin lined pattern encircling them. Athena’s head is spinning. She looks at Mr Wright, waiting for shock. Surprise. Anything. He has a good poker face but big surprises, he doesn’t quite hide. This, he’s hiding, and he’s still not saying anything, not moving, not reacting, and Athena can’t hear anything. Maybe Apollo could. Maybe Trucy could if she weren’t too torn up by her own shock to concentrate. Hers hasn’t faded; it still permeates her voice, entirely.

“Apollo’s your brother,” Athena says. “Apollo is – Mein Gott, Apollo’s your brother.” She laughs. She doesn’t know what to do but laugh. She looks back down at the names on the paper. They haven’t changed. “He’s not going to believe you when you tell him!”

“Can I see that?” Mr Wright asks, quietly, gesturing at the certificate. Athena hands it to him. “Thanks.” There’s only the barest amount of shock in his voice, buried deep, and there’s some other things, more complicated, a little too complicated for Widget. Some sadness that isn’t quite sad, not sorrow or grief, but something like regret. “Huh.”

He hands it back to her, and she runs for the scanner – it was a gift from Prosecutor Edgeworth that Mr Wright doesn’t know how to or want to use – so she can email proof to Apollo, while Trucy runs for a phone.

Apollo wakes to the buzzing of his cell phone beneath his head. It’s dark when he opens his eyes. What time is it, he wonders, knocking his phone to the floor with a thunk before he can manage to pick it up. Three am. Three am, and Trucy is calling. He fell asleep still fully dressed on top of the covers because he and Nahyuta were compiling their evidence for an overly complicated case until midnight, and when he went upstairs to the living quarters – after nearly a year, he still thinks of it as Dhurke’s, not his – and now, for whatever reason, he is being awoken by Trucy, who really should know what a time zone is at this point. “Hello? Trucy, what the hell--”

“Apollo you’re my brother!”

“Trucy, it’s three am.” Apollo sits up and regrets it. “I don’t know what conversations you’re having over there that – adopting people into your family -- but--”

“Apollo! I’m serious! Your mom is my mom! We’re half-siblings, Apollo!”

“What.” Maybe he’s still asleep. Does it really work to pinch yourself? Is that really a thing? “My – my mom--”

He doesn’t actually know what happened to his mother, just that Dhurke never found her. There are a thousand things that could mean in a country in turmoil.

“She’s my mom! Thalassa Gramarye! We’re siblings, Apollo!”

“Check your email!” That’s Athena’s voice, and some squeaks of a squabble. She probably ripped the phone from Trucy’s hands. “We sent you a copy of your birth certificate!”

“My – my birth certificate?” Apollo rolls onto his feet. There’s a little bit of moonlight spilling in through the windows. It had only recently, last year, occurred to him, after seeing Nahyuta again, that his birth certificate, all of his documentation, was forged. Dhurke didn’t even know his father’s first name. None of it could be real. He’s tried not to think about it since he came to Khura’in, about how he’s basically going to be immigrating back to his home country, the country of his birth, because his passport is built on a forged document, because all of it is, and he can’t in good conscience keep using it. He has a Khura’inese passport now. The birth date listed in it is still made up. “You’ve got to be kidding me with all of this -- if this is a joke -- it’s three am-- where’s my laptop?"

It’s downstairs. He isn’t good at taking these stairs in the dark. They’re slightly different heights halfway down.

“Apollo, we would not do this to you,” Athena says. He believes her. She was in the gallery last May as his family history was laid bare for everyone. She should know well what this means to him.

But then that means – and that’s stupid. Right?

He realizes too late that Nahyuta did not return to the palace and instead passed out at his kitchen table, and no matter how low Apollo keeps his voice, he has already woken his brother up. He remembers Nahyuta sleeping like a log when they were children, but there is so much about Nahyuta he remembers from when they were children that no longer applies, because even free of Ga’ran’s chains, the years apart, with the revolution, gave time for his brother to become someone else, someone who can personally help update prison security because he knows the best ways to break out of them, someone who can throw a knife almost as well as Datz. Someone who awakes at the slightest sound, because that might be the regime’s forces come to arrest them all.

Even if he lives in a palace now. Even if he rules the country now.

Apollo grabs his laptop off the couch. Nahyuta’s pale eyes are open. “What is going on?” he asks.

He lowers the phone from his mouth. “I have a sister.”

He says it automatically, even though he has no confirmation; he has only Trucy and Athena’s words at three am.

Nahyuta does not lift his head off his arms. Apollo can’t see his mouth but the skin around his eyes looks like he might be smiling. He definitely sounds like it. “I am glad you have finally accepted that you may call Rayfa such, but why at this time--”

“No, I mean, blood-related.” It can’t be -- she can’t be. But -- but this would be the cruelest joke to play -- and they wouldn’t. They aren’t like that. “A half-sister. My mother.”

Nahyuta raises his head.

“Apollo? You still there?”

He brings his laptop to the table, where Nahyuta has shifted aside crime scene photographs and copies of testimony to clear a space. He gestures at the lamp, giving Apollo enough time to brace himself for the light. “Okay, I’m checking my email now.” Sure enough, there is one from the main office email, with an attachment, and the subject line a keysmash. Either Athena or Trucy could have written that. “It’s loading… slowly…”

He helps Nahyuta reorganize their evidence while he waits. He wonders how long his brother was awake after Apollo went up at midnight. Maybe he wasn’t ever actually asleep. After about a minute, he returns, scanning what does indeed appear to be a birth certificate. And the names – Thalassa Gramarye, yes, Trucy’s mother – and – Jove Justice –

Apollo slumps down in his chair. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says. “There’s no way – there’s no fucking way--”

“We found it in a box of my grandfather’s things,” Trucy says, breathlessly, but she isn’t shouting like she was. “With my birth certificate, and my parents’ marriage documentation, and yours – it’s got to be real, Polly, it’s got to be! Your bracelet! Your power! Mine’s like it – like how I taught you what to do – it’s a Gramarye thing – the bracelet is our mother’s! There’s a picture of her – I’ll send that – Athena--”

There are more sounds of distant scrambling. Apollo stares at the screen. Apollo Justice. His name is there, Apollo, and Jove, and Thalassa Gramarye –

Nahyuta leans over his shoulder. “Your birth certificate?” he asks. Apollo pushes him away until his hair isn’t falling in his face. “Yes, your father, Jove Justice” – he’s reading it the other way, right to left, because that is how Khura’inese is written – “and Thalassa…”

“Yeah.” Apollo says. He doesn’t hear anything on the other side of the phone now. They probably dropped it.

“Gramarye,” Nahyuta says. “Gramarye, as in…” He presses his hands over his eyes.

Gramarye, as in the trial where they met for the first time in fifteen years. Gramarye, the trial where Nahyuta tried to get Trucy – Apollo’s sister, his sister – convicted of murder.

“Yeah,” Apollo says.

It’s quiet, nothing but the sound of the wind and the creak of the house settling. Or maybe a rat. Probably a rat.

“Now we know your real birthday,” Nahyuta says quietly. He sits on the table, still leaning over the screen to look at it, like he still can’t believe it either. “We’ll have to tell Datz.”

“Now we have proof that I’m an American citizen,” Apollo says. Now he has a sister. That’s hardest to believe. He said it earlier just fine, but now, with proof, with something real, something with those names, Gramarye and Justice, side by side, his tongue freezes. “And my mother’s name -- I have names for both of them. I have…”

A sister. A sister. He had his sister for two years and then he left to help his brother. When Phoenix told him about Magnifi’s death, that was the death of Apollo’s grandfather. And when he told him about Trucy’s mother being shot -- that was Apollo’s mother’s death, too.

His heart sinks. She’s dead. He can’t meet either of them. He saw the last moments of life of his father by blood; he reunited with his father who raised him in time for him to die; he found his mother to know that she already died without having to look for that information.

A faint noise arises from somewhere to his right and a few seconds later he realizes it’s voices through the phone. “Polly! Polly! Did you just abandon us? Apollo!”

“Sorry,” he says. “I was talking to Nahyuta.”

“Oooh, three am, you sounded so mad like I woke you up, and now you’re like, nah, I was hanging out with my brother instead.”

“We were working on a case, and you did wake me up--”

“Oh! If he’s your brother then is he also my brother?”

“Maybe? You’d have to ask him. He says that his sister is my sister, so I guess it would work backwards…”

Nahyuta is frowning. He probably can piece together what Trucy’s question was by Apollo’s answer, and his expression might either mean that he doesn’t want Trucy as his sister (unlikely) or that he is once again remembering how harsh he was in her trial and grappling with the fact that she is not only his brother’s dear friend, but now his own sister (much more likely).

“Does Mr Wright know this?”

“Yeah, he was around when I found the stuff. He hasn’t really said much. Maybe he’s trying to figure out whether he’s your dad or not, since he’s my dad and I’m your sister so you’re sort of, like -- maybe?”

Apollo wants to say that historically, being his father is something like a curse, but he wouldn’t say it to Trucy, who also has a dead father, or in front of Nahyuta, when that shared wound has not yet closed. (Apollo got the closest thing to closure. Nahyuta’s last conversation with him was while they stood as enemies in the detention center. Rayfa never knew him.) “Maybe,” Apollo says, and his mouth is dry.

A second email pops up, again from the office address. “Just sent you a picture!” Athena chimes in. Apollo can picture her leaning over Trucy’s shoulder to shout into the phone, the same way that Nahyuta is leaning over his shoulder to look at the laptop screen.

“It’s our mom!” Trucy adds. Our. Our mother. Apollo doesn’t know what to do with that phrase.

The picture that loads is of a woman with braided light brown hair, wearing a white dress. Her hands are visible in the image, and around her wrists, two golden bangle bracelets. Two bracelets just like one that sits on Apollo’s wrist. He tears his eyes from his mother’s face -- his mother, his mother -- and looks at Nahyuta, whose eyes are on Apollo’s bracelet as well. “Oh,” Apollo says. He tabs over to google for an old Troupe Gramarye poster, to compare the face of Magnifi’s daughter there, to the photo with the bracelets. Like he expects to see it’s a different person. Like he expects somewhere, this will fall apart, and it hasn’t. It doesn’t. Trucy is saying something and the words don’t make it from his ears to his brain.

“Trucy,” he says, and she falls silent. “Can you give me… like, an hour to process this, and then I’ll call you back?”

“O-okay.” She doesn’t sound happy. Apollo’s heart sinks further. He hopes she’ll understand that this isn’t anything against her.

“You know we have a trial in the morning,” Nahyuta says.

“Yeah, and our strategy from the start was already just ‘fuck it’.” Apollo uncovers the phone. Trucy and Athena both know that’s always their court strategy, but he doesn’t want them to rag on him some more. “All right. Talk to you in a bit, Trucy.”

“See ya, Polly.”

Apollo pushes the laptop away and rests his forehead on the table. “How can one family have so many secrets?”

“The Gramaryes?” Nahyuta asks. He knows the tangled web woven beneath the surface. He saw it in the trial. Apollo doesn’t know what additional else he knows, how much he researched -- knowing Nahyuta, back when Trucy was on trial, he looked up the transcript of the trial that’s ten years ago now, and the ones three years ago.

“The Gramaryes, and -- our family -- every family I’m a part of, murder and -- secret siblings and -- long-lost siblings, and -- more murder.” Even if Nahyuta read everything on-record, he wouldn’t know how Thalassa died. “I just wanted a normal life, I -- god, I couldn’t have been normal even if my father wasn’t killed, or even if Dhurke found my mother, if I grew up with her family I--”

“Would have been a magician, or a singer, perhaps,” Nahyuta said. “Could, perhaps, have grown up with your younger sister.”

Athena would be able to figure out what he is feeling when he says it, but Apollo doesn’t have much to go on. Nahyuta can keep his voice level too easily. Apollo can guess, though: sorrow, longing, regret.

“I wouldn’t be here now, though,” Apollo says. “Wouldn’t have known you, and Dhurke, and--”

Couldn’t have helped you. Couldn’t have saved you. Nahyuta glances away. He must be thinking the same.

“I wish Dhurke could’ve seen this, at least,” Apollo adds. “That sending me back would, eventually, let me find my family. And that--” He stops. Something has crawled its way back to the front of his memory, something that he blocked out that then disappeared behind more important things. “Oh, god.”

“What?”

He must sound horrified, because Nahyuta looks incredibly concerned. “Dhurke met Trucy, when he -- when he came over with Maya” -- if he phrases it like that it’s easier to not have to relive the moment the truth hit him -- “to get the Founder’s Orb, and -- god, he was like, ‘hey, son, nudge nudge, this girl would be good bride material’ -- eurgh.”

“Ugh.” Nahyuta puts his face in his hands. “Why did he have to be like--”

“Dhurke, why?”

It’s a question Apollo asked a lot -- it’s a question he still asks -- but it usually hurts more than this. Even if he does still sort of want to die.

“By the Holy Mother, there had better be an earthquake at the palace,” Nahyuta says, “from Father deservedly turning over in his tomb.” Nahyuta pauses. “Isn’t she seventeen?”

“Yeah.”

Nahyuta sighs. “Too young for that. And too young to be framed for murder.” He doesn’t say much about that trial, always gets a sick guilty look on his face whenever they skirt close to the topic. “Perhaps he meant she seemed a good kid and would be a welcome addition to our family, which is in itself a new sort of irony, that she already is, no marrying her off to one of us necessary.” He isn’t looking at Apollo, clearly pondering something else too. “You know,” he adds after a minute, “Mother was only nineteen when she had me. Ga’ran… used that against Dhurke, at the trial. She could claim that she was still young and naive and easily-duped, even though Dhurke was only twenty then. And twenty-two at the trial.” His eyes are vacant. “They were too young.”

Apollo hadn’t done the math on that. “She was only twenty-one when her sister tried to kill her.” When he was twenty-one, he was studying for the bar. When Nahyuta was twenty-one, he was already under Ga’ran’s thumb trying to protect his little sister. “I wonder how old my mother was. When she had me, and when -- when she lost her husband.” Too young to have lost so much, without question. “And when she died.”

Nahyuta doesn’t ask how Apollo knows that she’s dead. They sit in silence, looking at her picture. His mother. His half-sister. Sister.

“Apollo Gramarye,” he mutters. He shakes his head. “Doesn’t have quite the same ring.”

Nahyuta doesn’t respond, but after about a minute, he starts laughing. “What?” Apollo asks. Is he finally having the breakdown that probably, honestly, he probably needs to have? Is Apollo the one losing his mind? Did they both lose it?

“That damned murderer -- the magician, Retinz, Reus -- what karmic justice he faced.” Nahyuta shakes his head, still chuckling. “He was convinced that, though his plots were exposed, he had won against the Gramaryes, because he fooled Trucy and she needed you to save her. But you are a Gramarye by blood just as well as she. So he did, ultimately, lose to the Gramaryes.”

“Huh.” Apollo only vaguely remembers Reus saying that. He just remembers how relieved he was that Trucy was safe. He just remembers the sick feeling in his stomach listening to Nahyuta. His sister, and his brother. What a shitshow: the Gramaryes, the Khura’inese royals, and the two families together. “Man, what were the odds? That my law career would start like that, that I’d end up at the right place--”

“The Wright place.”

“It wasn’t a pun, Nahyuta, shut up. -- The place where I just… my sister’s there. I end up working for the man who adopted my sister. What are the odds?”

“I think the Holy Mother puts people where they need to be,” Nahyuta says. “You, to find them -- you, to find us again.”

“She was definitely putting me through some trials, there, at the start.”

“Perhaps this is another sign from Her.” Apollo shrugs when Nahyuta does not immediately elaborate on the thought. “That your sister has discovered this, now. It’s been nearly a year you have been in Khura’in, helping me, has it not? Perhaps this is a sign that you are due to return and spend time again with your other family.”

Maybe he’s right. Maybe it is.

His sister.

“Once you finish your current docket of cases,” Nahyuta adds.

Apollo punches him in the shin.

Please leave your message after the tone, and I will return your call.

“Hey, Thalassa, it’s Phoenix. So, funny story about the kids…”

#lmk if you don't wanna be tagged but i wanted to give credit where credit is due #for a great concept and a few lines of dialogue that i've borrowed for this #ace attorney #anyway i have a reading to do for class tomorrow now i think #i started this at 9:30 this morning and then had class and lunch and then started writing again #and basically haven't stopped writing since #ace attorney bullshit tag #roddy fanfics #this was meant to be funny but also became partially a character study on trucy and apollo's fucked-up family lives

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xanderuwu · 6 years

Text

for whom it may concern; here’s a letter

i wrote this long fucking rant about voltron, enjoy (click here to view on google docs)

My name is Alexander, I’m 23, and here is my sob story. I’m a bisexual trans man who grew up in a tiny village where people believed that being LGBT+ was just as bad as being a child molester. I spent the first 20 years of my life hiding my truth because of the fear & shame that was ingrained in me as a child; I was disgusted by myself. I have never gone a week in my‬ ‪life without contemplating suicide - I’ve tried to kill myself 9 times, the first time was when I was 8.‬

‪One of the main things that kept me afloat during my childhood & teen years were stories in any medium; film, TV, books, I swallowed them whole & they kept me sane. But they never made me feel goof about myself or my life. I didn’t experience the impact of good representation until I saw the first season of Glee in 2009 when I was 14 (that show went downhill as it went on too, wow). One of the main characters on Glee was gay & had an arc in the first season where he came out to his father, & his father … embraced him.‬

‪… I remember crying in bed, watching the coming out scene over & over in shitty quality on the Youtube app on my old iPod. I had never seen anything like it. Sure, I’d seen LGBT+ people in media before, but they were always either stereotype-ridden jokes, or they led miserable lives & never got a happy ending. & in so so so many cases … they died. Or their partner died. Or they got AIDS. Or they were framed as disgusting degenerates.‬

‪I’d never seen a parent accept & embrace their gay child. I had never seen a gay character who “made it” with loving friends & family. It gave me courage, it made me hopeful.‬

‪Hope is the most powerful powerful tool we have when it comes to suicide prevention within the LGBT+ community. Every day, thousands of people toe the line between life & death, & THAT is why our representation is so important. Yes, it helps normalize LGBT+ people to the cisgender & heterosexual audiences, but you have no idea how much hope & joy can blossom in the hearts of vulnerable LGBT+ people from good representation that shows LGBT+ characters being embraced & loved, finding partners, falling in love, getting that happy gay ending we so rarely get to see in media. I’m certain that that gay kid from fucking Glee of all things, saved me from the brink a few times.‬

‪In December of 2014, when The Legend of Korra made Korra & Asami the romantic endgame, I cried. Cried for all the LGBT+ kids who would, perhaps for the first time, feel good about themselves. I also cried for the child in myself who still struggles with the shackles secured around his feet from a childhood of isolation & self-hatred, because he needed it too. & then we got record-breaking amounts of well-rounded LGBT+ representation on Steven Universe, a show that not only features same-gender romances, but also explores gender & challenges toxic masculinity. & last year, Disney Channel, the fucking DISNEY CHANNEL, had a character on Andi Mack come out as gay! Freakin’ DISNEY, man! & Korra was on Nickelodeon, Steven Universe is on Cartoon Network - those are all huge traditional television broadcasters where shows have to be assessed by a whole lot of boards in order to make sure they’re suitable to broadcast.‬

‪Netflix, on the other hand, has more freedom. Many of their live-action shows have had explicit LGBT+ representation. Watching as more & more mainstream TV shows & films with prominent LGBT+ characters get released makes me believe in the change, from when i was a kid in the early 00’s to now.‬

‪I first encountered Voltron: Legendary Defender in the form of gifs, fanart, & screencaps on Tumblr. The first thing that caught my attention was Allura’s design; she’s gorgeous & I’m weak. I found out that she was from the Voltron reboot which, not gonna lie, sounded kinda dumb to me at first. I watched Voltron: Defender of the Universe as a kid, not because i’m old enough to have been a child in the 80s, but because we were a family with six mouths to feed & no disposable income that could be spent on cable TV. So we got public service television, & they ran a lot of cartoons from the 80s because they were cheap to license I guess.

Anyways, I was obsessed with VDOTU (we’re using abbreviations now because this is getting stupidly long & typing is hard) as a wee lad, Allura was my favourite character because she had long hair & a pink uniform - as I said, I’m weak for pretty people. So in late June of 2016 I watched the first season of VLD & I was so pleasantly surprised. VLD is animated by Studio Mir; one of my favourite animation studios, & the show has writers & producers who have also worked on Korra, so that, in addition to the show being distributed by Netflix, made the possibility of clear-cut LGBT+ characters & storylines seem more plausible. ‬

‪I loved the first season of VLD. I very quickly latched onto Keith & Allura, but as I kept watching I found myself adoring the whole team. Having Pidge be a girl was cool, & I was so excited when I found out that she was voiced by a gay actress! & whoever came up with the idea of making Allura, Hunk, & Lance brown deserves a high-five. ‬

‪(We’re getting to the real meaty LGBT+ rep rant soon, just stick with me here because I wanna talk about some other gripes I have with this show first).‬

‪So, we had a show with a diverse main cast of characters, good writing & pacing, a good balance between character & plot, & gorgeous animation. I was excited to see the second season.‬

‪However, the second season was when some of the show’s main flaws popped up for the first time. That nice balance between character & plot from the first season seemed to have driven right off its tracks and straight into a bio-hazardous lake. In the first season, each character got a fair amount of attention, but in season two Hunk & Lance were just … barely there? Keith is my favourite character & I liked the Blade of Marmora stuff, but Keith’s amount of screentime came at the expense of other characters, especially Hunk & Lance. Having Keith’s entire arc in season two pretty much only involve himself & Shiro did every character a disservice. & the reveal that Keith was Galra was so underwhelming. We only saw two characters react to Keith’s alien heritage. The episode with Keith & Hunk in the Weblum was lovely, but we haven’t really gotten team bonding episodes like that since season three so :/ And oh God, the whole subplot of Allura, a black-coded character, being “racist” against the Galra is a WHOLE other mess that I don’t think I can adequately explain. Just, why. ‬

‪Season three was good, the balance between character & plot seemed to be getting back on track & the lion switch-up made for some good character development, especially for Lance & Allura. Episode four was a mess though like y'all could’ve been just a liiittle more sensitive with that kind of stuff. Also it is embarrassingly obvious that in the first two seasons, Allura was portrayed as being around Shiro’s age & the two of them shared moments that seemed to be hinting at a future romance - until, suddenly in season three Allura is at the same maturity level as the other paladins? What, is it because that was when you decided to have Shiro be gay because you weren’t allowed to kill him after season two, & so instead of doing Shiro/Allura you started pairing Allura with Lance? That’s just absolutely stellar mate.‬

‪Season four - character/plot balance swings off the rails once more & to this day it hasn’t been recovered. This was the season where y'all’s plot became way too fucking convoluted & too damn big! The plot takes so much room, OF COURSE character development suffers! Season five had the same problem, & whoops Allura has a new love interest! It’s Lotor, a grown-ass man! Great! Totes loved it!‬

‪Season six had some good moments but again, y'all’s plot left no fucking breathing room for the characters! Also, Lance’s crush on Allura is suddenly True Love now? At this point you need a fucking Excel sheet to keep track of the plot & subplots. Lotor was an asshole all along & betrayed Allura? BITCH WE BEEN KNEW! Lotor’s betrayal could be seen from miles away. Bad.‬

‪SEASON FUCKING SEVEN HERE WE GO.‬

‪You ruined Keith’s entire character. Plain and simple. Keith & Shiro’s backstory was the highlight of the entire season. And in those flashbacks we see Shiro’s BOYFRIEND! Shiro is GAY! Shiro being gay & having a partner was revealed at San Diego Comic Con in July, & fans were so fucking happy. Remember at the start of this monstrosity of a letter where I talked about LGBT+ representation in media igniting hope? That was what you saw from fans after SDCC; pure joy & hope. It was amazing, people cried because they were so happy! & the showrunners said we’d learn more about Adam & get to meet him, shit I was so hyped!

Was Shiro, the character who has struggled the most in the show, going to get a … happy ending? As a gay character? With his partner of the same gender?‬

‪…‬

‪Y'know,‬

‪There’s still probably hundreds of thousands of LGBT+ kids who are growing up in a similar environment to where I grew up. They feel the same way I felt. That … indescribable loneliness that pierces through your bones, the self-hatred & hopelessness that weighs too much, you are the deer and the headlights is every person whose approval & love you need most. ‬

‪& then you see someone like you in a story, & they are happy, they aren’t alone, because people like us aren’t destined to be tragedies.‬

‪It gives you hope.

‪VLD could’ve given that to people y'know? And maybe that’s the saddest part, that instead they chose to kill the man Shiro loved, & thus put their only remaining confirmed LGBT+ character through even more suffering. ‬

VLD killed 50% of their confirmed LGBT+ characters. ‬

‪Imagine if they’d killed 50% of their female characters.‬

They killed Adam to show the gravity of the situation, to show that with war comes death. But LGBT+ viewers don’t need that reminder. We die every day. We know war, we know that war walks hand in hand with death.‬

‪And we didn’t even really have any feelings about Adam aside from “Shiro’s boyfriend!!!” We only got a tiny snippet of his & Shiro’s relationship. From a basic storytelling standpoint, killing someone like Colleen or Sam Holt would have been so much more effective because we know a lot more about Pidge’s relationship with her parents than we know about Adam & Shiro.‬ Adam’s death fell flat because we never knew him or his & Shiro’s relationship.

‪So why did they decide that the gay characters had to lose? VLD could have made something beautiful, something that would help people. But you didn’t.‬

‪Why didn’t they?‬

‪And why, in the same season, did they suddenly make Allura show signs of returning Lance’s feelings, despite her having shown zero romantic interest in him for over a third of the series? Why did they push Keith & Acxa together, two characters who had never spoken before this season? ‬

‪They take away the prospect of a same-gender romance, & then shove some half-assed straight relationships in our faces? It’s as if they’re doing this to be intentionally cruel.

‪Even if Adam somehow returns, that doesn’t repair the anxiety & hurt they caused their LGBT+ fans. With this season, VLD gave us the same age-old tale we’ve been told since we could understand words.‬

‪Happy endings belong to straight people. Gay people are doomed to live through tragedy after tragedy until we die young.‬

‪I believed in this show. I honestly thought the slow-burn romance would be Keith & Lance. Already in season one they had the “bonding moment” that was a textbook example of how to convey romance through visual storytelling. In that scene, Lance said “We are a good team” to Keith, & that was supposedly just bros being bros? But in season six, Lance says the exact same phrase to Allura as a flirty line, so what’s the deal here?

Are Allura and Lance the slow burn? Allura had never shown interest in Lance before now, when she suddenly noticed that Lance is … nice? What … is this? Honest to God, what is happening? VLD really decided to do the guy-likes-girl-girl-doesn’t-reciprocate-but-if-guy-keeps-trying-she’ll-like-him-back-eventually thing? Ah yes, If you flirt with a girl & she ignores your advances, you shouldn’t stop & move on, you should keep pushing, that’s how VLD staff want people to treat women I guess.‬

‪Keith & Axca … looked at each other three times & now they’re in love. Very good slow burn, I cried, 11/10.‬

‪Had the straight romances at least been well-developed I might’ve been slightly less angry. But no, you killed the man Shiro loved & then presented us with some gourmet heterosexual nonsense - no really, where are your Michelin stars because this hetero bullshit is top notch, truly.‬

‪I’m not saying this as a bitter shipper. I’m saying this as someone who invested so much time into your show, only to be severely let down. VLD has had some incredible episodes, but season four & onward was a massive display of incompetent storytelling. It’s as if seasons one through three were created by a different team!

Not to mention the showrunners themselves, who have consistently been dismissive of valid concerns from fans, & when given chances to confirm that Keith & Lance’s relationship was strictly platonic, they instead remained vague, instilling hope in fans - giving people false hope to string them along so they’ll keep watching your show is cruel.‬

‪There are so many other things I could say here, but I’m running out of time.‬

‪Y'all could’ve done extraordinary things with this show & these characters. You could have made something amazing, your show could have been remembered as a trailblazer. But instead, it’ll only be remembered as a clusterfuck & as an example of what not to do, for future creators to learn from.‬

‪I don’t know how or why y'all ended up turning your show into a damn mess. I don’t really care. I just wish you hadn’t exploited the fragile hopes of LGBT+ people.‬

The only thing that can save y’all now is if season eight makes me physically shit hundred dollar bills so I can buy a fucking boat, sail to the middle of the ocean, and just scream for a good six years or so.

Thanks.‬

#xander.txt #queue #voltron

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ketzwrites · 5 years

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Rewatch 113: Morning Star

Just a passing thought but how come nobody comments on how Valentine shares his family name with Lucifer? I’d expect Simon to make a quip like “dude’s last name is the same as the devil, no wonder he’s messed up.”

Anyway, last episode of season 1!

Teaser

I’m glad Clary doesn’t spiral down with Jace when he starts to have a meltdown. The choice of making Jace throw angry hissy fits whenever things get messy has been present all season long and, although it’s not my favorite trope, it’s consistent and makes sense for a character indoctrinated to push down his emotions.

I still don’t get how Alec, the Act Head of the New York Institute, is supposed to know nothing about the current High Warlock of Brooklyn. I get Magnus not knowing about Alec since Alec was just holding the position while his parents were gone, but the notion that Alec had zero info on Magnus or his reputation is ludicrous to me.

Hearing Magnus say “don’t underestimate a parent’s love” breaks my heart.

Enough with the praising of Lydia for not standing in the way when Alec backed down from the arranged marriage. I get Alec doing so because he’s a shadowhunter and therefore dumb, but Magnus? Nope. Magnus knows better than to follow this medieval logic that Lydia did anything more than being a decent person.

Act One

Because of the lack of tension in Hodge’s betrayal in the last episode, I’m not invested in this reveal. I also never saw the Lightwoods treating him like family: at most I saw Hodge clear favoritism with Alec. Once again, there’s no build-up, so there’s no pay off here.

Oooh, that’s why Hodge summoned Valentine in the middle of the training room. So the shadowhunter foursome could figure out why he betrayed them. Or, rather, so Clary could figure things out. Izzy, Jace, and Alec are all wrong at some point in this conversation. Anyway, good use of the footage to speed-up Valentine removing the Circle Rune from Hodge. I don’t get how he did it, but he did it and that’s what matters.

Why are they repeating the exposition? The audience has been told again and again what Valentine wants to do with the Cup. We know he wants to create a shadowhunter army. We know the process kills mundanes. We know this is bad. Just because Clary didn’t care about it for the most part of the season, doesn’t mean we forgot.

Valentine ascending 40-something years old will never not be funny to me. Where did these mundanes come from? Why do they want to risk their lives like this? But, anyway, it’s a good thing they develop this into him going for young and fit mundanes in the next season.

Clary giving Jace the “the world doesn’t revolve around you” lecture falls so flat. Nothing in her journey taught her that lesson: she was able to use the Cup to get her mother back and then save Izzy from exile. Simon forgave her for turning him into a vamp. Clary herself is now a praised and trained member of the shadowhunters. Not even indirect consequences happened: Alec didn’t have to marry against his will after all. Clary had her cake and ate it too. If anything, her journey confirms that she can only think of what she wants because the consequences will solve themselves around her.

This doesn’t count as Luke using the pack for the benefit of the shadowhunters because it’s in the interest of the werewolves to keep the Cup away from Valentine.

Hodge’s tone when he asks about Jace and Clary is interesting. Does that mean he cares about them?

This conversation between Clary, Izzy, Simon, and Raphael is all over the place. Why does Raphael think Camille would make things worse if Valentine has the Cup? Why does Clary say they are supposed to be allies?

The amount of overacting in this Jace vs Hodge confrontation is astonishing. Also, I want to know if the Lightwoods really pinned their crimes on Hodge or not. We had zero interactions between Hodge, Maryse, or Robert. The only time they were even in a scene together was at Alec’s wedding and there was no indication of any animosity.

Jace going for the kill is a nice touch in his descent to darkness. I’m also glad to see how Alec deals with Jace fits of anger: he speaks rationally and tells Jace to calm down. Oh, one more thing. In the score of “stopping you from doing something you’d regret” is now tied.

WAIT A SECOND. I don’t remember “Michael” calling Jace by “Jonathan”. That was Valentine all along. Why would he start to do it now? Only because now the audience knows Jace is short for Jonathan Christopher?

Act Two

“We’re not so different, you and I.” Valentine has read and written every book on being a supervillain in an action show.

The fact that there is only talk about Jace eventually killing innocent people and not Valentine tricking him into killing an innocent person is disappointing. I know villains tricking or forcing Jace to kill innocents will be a trend in 2a and 3a, but the fact that it doesn’t happen here should prove to Jace that he and Valentine are not the same.

Yeah. Where are Clary and Simon? How did Izzy end up alone with Raphael at all? There is a missing scene that would explain how Clary, Izzy, and Simon managed to create this scenario.

And, with that, Izzy made the first attack. As of now, Clary, Izzy, and Simon have officially crossed the line and attacked the vampires.

What similar thing? Did Valentine struggle with the knowledge that his father was a sociopath who traumatized him on purpose? Didn’t know that.

OMG. THIS SHOW AND ITS NON-LOGIC. Awaking up Jocelyn doesn’t stop Hodge from giving Valentine the Cup. It doesn’t even give them any new information on Valentine’s plans because they already know his plans. There is no connection between these two things. Stop forcing one.

Act Three

I wish we’ve gotten more on the bond between Camille and Simon. She expected Simon to come and save her, but Simon wouldn’t have if Clary didn’t need to talk to Camille. And we know there is a bond because Camille wins the argument. Why don’t they, you know, make it into the plot?

I love how Camille is written. She has her own motivations, her own goals. She doesn’t feel like a character put there just to help or foil Clary, she feels like she would have her own story if Clary was there or not. Every relatively prominent character should feel like that.

How awkward it is to know that Dot was Camille’s favorite costumer now that we know their respective stories with Magnus?

So, if Camille told Clary and Simon where debukofdewyt is, why don’t they just tie her up again and leave? One of the vampires has to know where her “Upper East Side apartment” is.

Still not buying Jace’s motivations.

The whole Izzy vs Raphael confrontation bores me to death. The amount of coincidences that had to happen for this to work: Raphael let Izzy alone after he figured out the betrayal, Izzy found exactly which wall to burst through and the exact time to do it, the fact that there are no other paths that Raphael can take to get to them or vamps in the hotel. In the words of a wise old warlock: Yawn.

Act Four

A Writ of Transmutation? It’s a cool world-building concept the show is going to forget they introduced this season. Cleaning up her name for killing and turning mundanes? Yeah, Camille won’t care about that in the next episode. She’ll be too busy making vampire dens all over town.

Again, they don’t need Camille’s help. She already told them where the books is. They are not even trying to get the apartment’s exact address through other sources. Magnus is right there. Ask him if he knows it.

Okay, now the connection between waking up Jocelyn and defeating Valentine makes sense. They should’ve gone with that.

As good as this scene debate between Magnus and Camille is – and it’s great; in the last episode we were told Camille doesn’t believe in love and now we see her stating that -, my favorite part is how Camille is willing to go the extra mile of villainous and assault Magnus right when she knew his newest boyfriend would see them. Camille doesn’t want a relationship with Magnus but she also doesn’t want him to have a relationship with anyone else.

Magnus is so confused and scared in this scene. My heart is breaking. Someone hug him. Someone tell him it’s not his fault Camille is a monster.

Note to self: Simon says “take us to the apartment, bring us the book. Then, I’ll sign.”

The overacting continues. Also, Valentine is smarter than Jace – especially when Jace is in a crisis. I wonder who could’ve predicted that? Oh yes, not Clary or Alec or Simon. They just figured it’d be fine to let Jace ran lose in the city.

Act Five

Guys! Guys! We got a scene where we see the heroes being followed! They are building up the tension!! I’m so happy right now.

Note to self: Simon signed before Camille gave them the book. And with Clary’s blessing. They are so stupid.

Okay, so Jace warns Clary that the Circle is on their way and she… ignores it? It’s not the book is going anywhere. Valentine doesn’t know why they went to Camille’s. They can leave and wait out until the Circle Members are gone.

Act Six

Not to be dark, but there is no reason for the Circle Members to keep either Simon or Izzy alive. Or Magnus, for that matter. Alec gets a pass because if he dies, Jace gets… incapacitated? Though Valentine lost his Parabatai bond and he’s fine. Maybe killing Alec is exactly what Valentine should want to do, to make Jace feel even closer to him.

… They are free and they outnumber Valentine and the Circle Members. In fact, that’s four shadowhunters, one vampire, one warlock against five shadowhunters. And that’s before all the minions leave and Valentine turns his back at them. Why wouldn’t Alec put an arrow at the back of Valentine’s head? Why wouldn’t Izzy throw a dagger? Or why can’t Magnus knock Valentine down with magic?

Alec saves Clary’s life. Just wanted to point that out.

I like this conversation between Clary and Simon, though I’m confused about what Clary’s expression mean by the end of it. She seems conflicted, but is it because she’s worried about Jace or because she just told Simon she loves him? It could be either one.

Love that the takeaway of Camille’s manipulations is Alec getting worried about hurting Magnus once he dies. Also love that Magnus gets to say that, just because logic says he’ll outlive Alec, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t date.

The whole scene of Magnus waking up Jocelyn is gorgeous and an excellent pay-off to the entire season. From episode one we follow Clary in her journey to get her mom back. She finally does. That is satisfying even if the whole journey wasn’t. In structure terms, this is the last scene of the season and it accomplishes its structural goals perfectly.

The scene with Valentine and Jace at the boat is an add-on, a cliffhanger for the next season. Well done and somewhat exciting, but an extra. Particularly, I could go without it, but it’s a good set up for what season 2a will be all about.

#ketz rewatches shadowhunters #sh 113 #sh meta

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dani-luminae · 6 years

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1/4 Hello again! I just wanted to gush about Uma because she's such an interesting character and really her and the crew's scenes are what made D2 bearable. As a foil to Mal I think she may have out done her by a mile which I don't think was the writer's intention, ironically. Both are daughters of villains but Mal wants to emulate her mom while Uma clearly wants to escape her's, (especially since Uma owns a ship; the thing that originally killed her mother) in that difference and their shared

2/4 history, Mal’s bullying and betrayal, Uma seemed to have come out stronger. She became confident on her own terms and became powerful from the ground up, starting her own crew (with a mix of people who are clearly older than her, a tough thing to do), managing to win a semi-functional pirate ship, gaining and managing territory on the isle and working for her abusive mother day in and day out. Her rise to power is a classic kind of admirable bc we know the isle is bad, we know the isle ¾ doesn’t offer much and that the parents are abusive if not neglectful but here’s this little badass doing so much in spite of all of that. But I think as a bonus Uma also acknowledges that they don’t deserve to live that way. A cage is still a cage no matter how good it is and I think that’s Mal’s issue. She sees the isle as a playground bc that’s what it is to her but if she stayed in the isle I doubt she would have the same easy life she did before leaving. W/o her mom and her unpopularity 4/4 after the VKs betrayal she would be right at the bottom bc now she’s a traitor and her bargaining chip mother is gone. Uma played everything straight, gained power, influence and loyalty and still wants better for her crew because life on the isle still sucks, perks or not. Also Uma’s cohesion with her crew is interesting. They may not have lines but they are always around her and everything she does refers to them using we, our, us in her songs making them seem more like a unit.

Yes to all of this. Uma is a stronger character, leader, and main character than Mal ever was - not to mention easier to empathize with and a WHOLE lot more engaging. Uma’s not perfect - she’s still entirely willing to destroy Auradon - but she’s got more understandable motives than Mal, that’s for sure.

Ask box is open! Come ask me question, about ships, about Descendants, or anything really! I like talking to people!

#disney descendants #descendants 2 #descendants 3 #uma deserves better #uma descendants

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whimsicaldragonette · 2 years

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ARC & Audio Review: Bright Ruined Things by Samantha Cohoe

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Publishing Date: February 15, 2022

Synopsis:

The only life Mae has ever known is on the island, living on the charity of the wealthy Prosper family who control the magic on the island and the spirits who inhabit it. Mae longs for magic of her own and to have a place among the Prosper family, where her best friend, Coco, will see her as an equal, and her crush, Miles, will finally see her. Now that she’s eighteen, Mae knows her time with the Prospers may soon come to an end. But tonight is First Night, when the Prospers and their high-society friends return to the island to celebrate the night Lord Prosper first harnessed the island’s magic and started producing aether – a magical fuel source that has revolutionized the world. With everyone returning to the island, Mae finally has the chance to go after what she’s always wanted. When the spirits start inexplicably dying, Mae starts to realize that things aren’t what they seem. And Ivo, the reclusive, mysterious heir to the Prosper magic, may hold all the answers – including a secret about Mae’s past that she doesn’t remember. As Mae and her friends begin to unravel the mysteries of the island, and the Prospers’ magic, Mae starts to question the truth of what her world was built on. Forbidden magic, a family secret, and a night to reveal it all...

My Review:

★★★★★

This was a really interesting reading experience. I was ready to give up on it really fast because it *seemed* to be setting up a very very typical YA love triangle with a villain-who's-actually-good and a bad-boy-who's-really-bad. I kept reading though, because I felt for Mae, who has spent her whole life on an island sort of on the outside of this very rich family. And it's very well-written, which helped. And then... everything flipped. And flipped again. I spent most of the book trying to figure out who is actually the good guy. My thoughts were like "Is he the good guy? Is *he* the good guy? *Is* there a good guy? You know what, these are all terrible people, why does Mae want anything to do with them? Oh ho, now Mae is a terrible people, what? Is... is there anyone on this island with even the tiniest redeeming quality?" I couldn't look away from the scheming and the backstabbing and the betrayals and the lies. It was like the Great Gatsby in that way. They're all rich and terrible but you can't look away. And even after that, after all the darkness and lies, a whole new level of darkness and lies is reached. It was impressive, actually, that my opinion of these people could sink any lower. There is a tiny hint of redemption for *some* of them at the end, which is good because otherwise I would have come away with a very bitter taste in my mouth and might not have liked this book very much at all. As it is, yeah. You know, I really did enjoy it. Also. That ending! That is a gutsy place to end a book, especially one that seems to be a standalone. And it's also absolutely the right choice, because I've thought about it way more than I would have if the scene had gone on another few seconds and I think I like it more than I would have otherwise. I have not read the Tempest, which I know this is a re-imagining of, but I don't think that really impacted my enjoyment of this story. It definitely has Great Gatsby vibes, but again, I don't think you need to be familiar with that story to read it. Just don't write it off early on, because it does a great job of twisting that love triangle trope. The audiobook performance was excellent. The narrator did a great job giving all the characters believable voices and acting out the story. I read a portion of the story and listened to a portion of it and I definitely enjoyed the listening experience more because it was so well done. It was like a movie playing out in my mind, seamless and totally immersive. I would definitely recommend getting the audio for the best reading experience. *Thanks to NetGalley, Wednesday Books, and MacMillan Audio for providing an e-arc and audio arc for review.

Favorite Quotes:

We arrived at lunch with the bones of a plan. Actually, the bones of three different plans, which, combined, were not quite enough for a full skeleton.

---

I wished I could make him feel something other than rage. I wanted to make him smile.

#samantha cohoe #bright ruined things #wednesday books #netgalley #macmillan audio #shilo reads #arc review #audiobook review #audiobook arc

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chimsmybestfriend · 7 years

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Stay With Me

Pairing: Sehun x Reader x Jimin

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut (not too detailed but it’s there)

Words: 6k+

First fanfic warning. Please don’t mind the smut scene too much since it’s my first time writing smut ahah. I would also deeply appreciate some feedback :)

You rush to Sehun’s house as quickly as possible after returning from the mall with a brand new expensive watch you knew he had always been eyeing and a delicious red velvet cake which your boyfriend of two years has always loved – since it was his birthday today.

You had asked your boss if you could leave work earlier a day before, making sure to do a little extra work so he’d give in to your request. Thankfully enough he did, as he seemed to be in quite a good mood today as well.

You finally reach his front door and begin to unlock it, stepping into his apartment as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him up since he was always asleep around this time. Since he was always out late at night due to his hectic job as a doctor, he had the whole morning until evening to sleep.

You set the cake down onto the kitchen counter and proceed to tiptoe quietly towards his bedroom with a wide grin over your face. You push the door open gently and are about to walk over to him when you see a sight that makes your heart drop to your stomach – your smile faltering completely.

He’s not alone.

You see long tufts of curly brown hair and a milky bare shoulder peeking out through the bedsheet, right next to his head.

You feel all emotions crash down onto you instantly.

Feelings of betrayal, sadness and grief wash over you as if it were a massive wave slamming into you, making you feel as if you were drowning and unable to breath – asphyxiated.

Two years of a relationship – gone.

All the love and trust you built together on what seemed like a solid foundation came crumbling down. Seeing his peaceful figure right beside hers was a cold steely punch directly to your heart, shattering it into tiny fragments you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to fix back together.

You know you should walk away or wake him up and slap him, but your feet are stuck firmly to the ground as if you were standing in cement.

You taste something salty enter your mouth and you realise that you are crying, tears stream down your face uncontrollably like rain.

You blink your eyes repeatedly and shake your head, getting yourself out of your daze. You suck in a deep, shaky breath, the air making your nostrils and lungs burn as you turn around and head back out to the living room.

You take one final look around before wiping your face of dried tears and head back to your car. You sit in it for about ten minutes, thinking of everything that’s just happened. You thought you trusted him, you thought he loved you enough – especially to not cheat.

Guess you were wrong.

You yell out in frustration as you suddenly feel anger course through your veins like adrenaline as if you were in a flight or fight response – completely taking over you as you storm back into his apartment, not even bothering to be quiet or sneaky this time as you pick up the cake from the counter.

You head over to his bedroom and stand over your now ex-boyfriend and bitch, raising the cake over your head, your hands trembling in anger.

You throw it down as hard as you can with the aid of your newly found energy, chunks of red velvet cream splattering everywhere over his bed and over the two of them.

They sit up immediately, completely oblivious to the fact that you were the one who threw the cake at them.

Sehun then sees you standing in front of him and his eyes widen in utter shock as his mouth falls wide open, “Y/N, what the hell?!”

You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest tightly as if they would help prevent you from exploding or committing murder right in front of them.

You slip the promise ring off your finger which he gave to you on your first anniversary and throw it at him square in his forehead, earning a loud “Ow!” from him. You turn around on your heels and rush to leave his apartment, desperate to leave his apartment, hearing him cry out your name as he stumbles after you, begging you to give him a chance and listen, but you knew better than to tolerate his useless reasoning.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

You slam the door in his face before he could reach you only to hear a loud, sickening crunch.

You come to an immediate halt and turn around slowly, gasping at the sight before you. Sehun’s face is morphed into pain and shock as he cradles his hand with a finger that’s bent at an odd angle. At first you’re in shock but you quickly regain your composure when you see the woman he was with run up to him to help him, a look of utter shock and disgust portrayed on her face, probably thinking that you did it intentionally.

Sehun however looks at you directly, guilt and sadness evident in his eyes as he quietly murmurs, “I’m sorry, Y/N – I really am.”

You feel tears prick your eyes once again as you struggle to keep them from falling down onto your cheeks. You give him one last look before you head back to your car, driving away as fast as possible to put miles of space between you and him.

You don’t feel like going home so you decide to go over to Seulgi’s, your best friend’s place knowing that you could easily count on her during times like these.

She opens the door and immediately pulls you into a big, warm hug when she sees your puffy eyes and blotchy face.

She closes the door behind her and leads you to her sofa, her arm still around you when she asks, “Y/N, what’s going on?” and you instantly start to sob into her shoulder. She responds by rubbing your back soothingly and pulls you closer to her, the action making you feel slightly better.

“Baby, I’m here for you, you can tell me whenever you’re ready, alright?”

After what seems like half an hour and your tear ducts couldn’t release any more tears, you pull away from her and she hands you a tissue to wipe your face with. You let out a shaky breath and tell her about everything that’s happened today. She doesn’t rush you to finish, instead she sits with you patiently as you take your time to speak.

When you’re done talking, she pulls you into another hug and whispers, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” She places both hands on your cheeks. “I just hope you know that he doesn’t deserve you. You’re kind, amazing, lovable and you don’t deserve any of that. Not all relationships work out, Y/N, sometimes they end for the better.”

“I know,” you croaked. She gives you a small smile before leaving, only to come back moments later with a towel and some clothes.

“Y/N, go take a bath, you’ll feel better. I’m also going to make some of your favorite chicken soup, and then we’ll have ice cream and watch a comedy movie, okay?” You nod at her and manage a weak smile before heading to the bathroom.

You strip out of your clothes and turn up the heat to it’s maximum setting. The water is hot – so hot that it’s cold, but you enjoy it. You scrub your body harshly until it’s red and raw, visualising that you were washing your emotions away. You change into the clothes Seulgi gave you and join her for dinner in her kitchen. You then help her clear the table and you both head back to the living room to watch a movie and enjoy some chocolate ice cream.

It’s strangely silent between you two due to the fact that you didn’t feel like talking, however you were so grateful for Seulgi being there for you, that you decide to speak.

“Seulgi, thank you,” you murmur quietly, glancing in her direction. She reaches out to hold your hand and smiles warmly at you. “Anything for you, Y/N.”

You lay on her sofa, feeling depression wash over you once again as you think about today’s events. What was it about her that he liked which you didn’t have? Was she more attractive to him than you were? Was she more interesting than you were? What is it that she had, which you didn’t have? You feel insecurity start creeping over you, knowing that you’ll never be good enough for anyone. Knowing that something you will never be is different; and different is all they want.

Seulgi suddenly gets up and switches the TV off. She stands right in front of you with her hands on her hips as she says, “Alright, that’s enough. I am not going to watch you mope around in sadness. I am not going to watch you lose yourself over an idiot. Get up.” She yanks you up on your feet and you’re still in a daze.

“How did yo-“ you begin but she interrupts you, “I saw it on your face, duh. Now get up and go get dressed, we’re going out.”

You were not in the mood to go out, but you can never reject Seulgi or else she’ll go ballistic, so you sigh in defeat and march to her room unwillingly with her right behind you.

You plop down onto her bed as she digs around her closet to pick an outfit for you. After a while, she throws out a purple turtleneck and a short leather skirt at you. She points at it, “Get dressed now.” You have to oblige, so you put the clothes on, surprised at how well they fitted you and how nicely it emphasized your curvy figure. The skirt stopped right above your mid-thigh, and you were glad that Seulgi didn’t pick out something too short for you.

She ushers you towards her dressing table and commands you to sit. You close your eyes as she starts putting makeup on your face, feeling smooth lipstick slide over your lips and your lashes being curled with mascara.

You open your eyes and you can’t help but to feel impressed by Seulgi’s skills. She applied purple lipstick onto your lips, the colour contrasting nicely against your skin and also matching your purple turtleneck. You stand up to admire how you look in the mirror while smoothening your skirt and you see Seulgi beaming at your reaction.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N – I’m sure you know it. Feel better?” she asks. You grumble a yes in response as she hurries to get ready. Once she’s done, she links her arms through yours and pulls you out into the night.

About half an hour later, she pulls up in the parking lot of your town’s hottest club, and you can’t help but to think of how crappy Seulgi’s idea is.

You glance at her and roll your eyes. “Really, Seulgi?” She grins at you in response, “Hey, I’ve got a good feeling about this place okay?” “Ugh, whatever. Let’s go.”

Then both of you are out of her car and stepping into the nightclub booming with loud music and flashing lights radiating in every color, thrashing in all directions. The familiar smell of alcohol mixed with expensive perfume and sweat assaults your nostrils as you grimace. You do not want to be here. At all. You do not want to socialize with people. You do not want to have a one night stand with a random guy who’ll only treat you right for one night, only to throw you away like trash the next day.

Seulgi is leading you over to the dance floor, but you tell her that you do not have any energy to dance, so you pull her over to the bar instead and plop down on a bar stool. She orders a gin and tonic while you order one of the simplest drinks ever – water. The bartender smirks at your order and Seulgi’s eyes are wide open, her mouth formed in a big ‘o’ at your choice of drink.

You stare at her with a bored expression on your face and shrug casually. “Well then, your drink’s on me,” she mumbles and you can’t help but to chuckle quietly at her. “I don’t want to end up calling Sehun all drunk and beg him to come back, Seulgi,” you mutter. She nods in agreement, completely understanding your reasoning.

You both then talk about everything and anything except for Sehun, cracking jokes and you ask Seulgi about what’s going on in her life, wanting nothing more than to distract yourself of what’s going on in yours.

You suddenly hear some insanely loud cheering coming from the dance floor and you feel irritation creep into you when you turn your head to find the source of noise.

Five well-dressed men are standing in the middle, surrounding what seems to be two other men having a dance battle. One man’s got a larger frame, well-built and a little brawny compared to the other who’s a little smaller but leaner. It seems to be the smaller man’s turn now and you can’t help but to find yourself watching him in awe.

You feel all traces of irritation melt away when you’re completely mesmerised and enchanted by the way he moves his body along to the beat, clearly immersing himself into the music and letting it take over his senses. His dancing was majestic and like water – fluid-like and smooth, all moves executed perfectly and gracefully. You couldn’t take your eyes off him as they were glued to him and his body.

His body. He wore a black short sleeved t-shirt which attached to the right places of his torso, easily defining the curves and crooks of his body. His jeans were skin-tight, displaying the bulging muscles of his thighs, making you want to worship them. You feel your face get a little warm, shame taking over you as you stare him down.

Then he stops dancing to catch his breath, all his friends around him cheering him on. Clearly, he won the battle.

He then looks in your direction, his eyes meeting yours which makes you freeze in your spot, your heart pounding rapidly in your chest.

“I see you staring, Y/N,” Seulgi says, snapping you out of your daze. “Shut up!” you hit her playfully and she looks back over to him. What she says next almost makes your heart stop.

“He’s coming here, babe. You totally got his attention.” You feel Seulgi get up to leave before flashing you a wink.

And he is. He’s walking towards you, and you feel time slow down around you, everything is blurred out of your line of vision except for him.

He comes to a halt in front of you and you finally get to see his face.

It was beautiful.

His hair is blonde with black roots showing through which reach the top of his eyes, messy and drenched with sweat, but you didn’t care. His skin is perfectly smooth and youthful without any trace of a blemish, in fact he had the most beautiful skin you had ever seen.

Your eyes scan his face, adoring the rich copper color of his eyes which make you swoon, his lips were the pinkest lips you have ever seen, plump and luscious and you wondered how they would feel against yours.

You noticed that he, too, was taking in all your features, and amused yet kind expression portrayed on his face.

“Hello there,” he said softly, those two words enough to give your whole body goosebumps. His voice itself was soothing, smooth and sweet like honey.

“Hi,” you squeaked. You were never ever unable to speak in front of a person, but for some reason, this man - took your breath away.

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asks. You shake your head and swallow your saliva as he sits down next to you.

“My name’s Jimin, by the way. Do you normally come here? I’ve never seen you around before.” He orders a martini while keeping his soft gaze on you. Jimin.

“I’m Y/N. I don’t. In fact, it’s my first time being here. My friend sort of dragged me here and I had no choice but to follow her command.” He quirks up an eyebrow and lets out a small smile which sends little tingles all over your body. Stay composed, Y/N, stay composed. Don’t scare him away, you just met him.

“Ah, I see. Well it’s definitely lovely to see a face like yours here.” You feel a small blush creep onto your cheeks and you’re thankful that the club is dark enough to hide it. He faces you, and you can feel his knee brush against yours gently.

“You’re really good at dancing – where did you learn to dance like that?” you ask. Your compliment makes him smile widely and you felt your heart beat just a little faster. You decide to order a vodka, just to loosen up a little bit. Seulgi would’ve been angry, the fact that you’d drink alcohol with a stranger instead of with her.

He then tells you that he’s always had a passion for dancing and decided to open up his own dance studio to share his passion with others. You talk about your hopes and dreams, your craziest theories about life and the weirdest things you both have ever done. You don’t know why, but it’s easy – talking to Jimin. He was so friendly and despite being a stranger to you, your mind felt completely at ease around him and all thoughts of Sehun have disappeared. Perhaps it was due to the alcohol present in your bloodstream?

Time goes by so fast and about an hour later, Jimin clears his throat.

“I honestly don’t think that this is the right place to get to know someone, so would you like to grab some dinner with me? I know of a really cool place we could go.” He looks slightly nervous so he adds quickly, “Of course, only if you want to.”

“Are you asking me out on a date already, Jimin?” you ask, teasing him a little. He seems a little flustered at your question but says, “It can be whatever you want it to be, Y/N.”

You let out a happy laugh and he asks, “Is that a yes?”

“Yes, Jimin.” You follow him as he leads you to his car.

Jimin drives you both to ‘dinner’ though you don’t know where he’s bringing you, since he doesn’t tell you. The ride is silent with only music from the radio playing, but you don’t find it awkward or uncomfortable. He drives for what seems like twenty minutes and you both finally arrive at the destination. He pulls up into the parking lot of what seems to be a giant field and you notice that it was crowded with people and many tents littered the field, simple, not too loud music playing in the distance.

It was a food festival.

He gets out of his seat and walks over to your side to open the door for you.

“A food festival? Where did you get this idea?” you ask him. He looks at you sheepishly and says “I actually planned to come here with my friends today but I met you and I thought I’d take you instead.” His cheeks turn slightly pink at his confession. You don’t care that he doesn’t bring you to an expensive restaurant. This is good enough for you. The fact that he thought of you, the fact that he chose you over his friends makes happiness cloud your mind.

“Hey,” you say, smiling warmly at him. “I don’t mind it at all. In fact, there’s more food here than in any restaurant.” He looks relieved, and you both head over towards the tents.

The festival was hustling and bustling with people, the atmosphere lively and joyful. The smell of delicious food from various stalls linger in the air, making your mouth water and your stomach rumble.

“I heard that,” Jimin says. You let out a small giggle and smack his arm playfully. “Hey, I haven’t eaten much today, okay?” He chuckles quietly and his mouth forms into an adorable grin which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

You both walk around the field together, stopping at each stall to try out the food they had, all tasting deliciously unique and flavorful. Even though all you did was eat and talk, you feel content just by being with him. You’re both enjoying this time spent together, cracking jokes and goofing around as you both use it as an opportunity to learn more about each other. It almost feels as if you’ve known each other for years, and you’re amazed at how many things can happen in a span of only a few hours.

You both finally grow tired of meandering around and stuffing your faces with food, so Jimin leads you away from the field and you walk down a few blocks before arriving at a garden.

There are so many different kinds of plants and flowers growing everywhere, the bright light of the moon shining down upon the flowers so you could see their vibrant, attractive colors. You inhale deeply and you smell sweet honeysuckle in the distance, overpowering the fragrance of other flowers. There were large, trees of different heights and sizes all around the garden, making it look somewhat magical. As if you were in a secret garden. You absolutely adored nature – how it existed in its own ways, how it still manages to thrive and survive in a planet in which humans constantly try to destroy for their own greedy benefits.

The night is quiet and peaceful and the stars are shining brightly in the sky. You prefer to be here rather than the noisy club full of drunk and smelly people. You then remember the reason why you’re here, and you turn to face the person who’s made your night a thousand times better simply by being with you.

“Jimin, I love this place,” you breathed. “Thank you for bringing me here, it’s absolutely beautiful.” He sits down on a bench and gestures for you to join him, which you do. He’s giving you a shy, adorable smile which you have come to love.

“I could tell that you didn’t want to be there, Y/N. I can see right through you.” You look at him and notice that his eyes are twinkling under the starry sky. You don’t know what to say, so you just remain silent and scoot a little closer to him. You don’t know whether it’s the alcohol in your bloodstream or if it’s just you, but you place your hand over Jimin’s and lay your head against his shoulder.

He stiffens next to you momentarily, surprised at your sudden contact but quickly relaxes and laces his fingers through yours. You let out a sigh of relief. You feel nice, holding his hand. It’s chilly outside but Jimin’s body keeps you warm and toasty. You shut your eyes, enjoying the feel of the cool wind blowing gently against your face.

Jimin has been with you for a while, but you’re already insanely comfortable with him. He just made things seem so much easier, as if he were a breath of fresh air into your life.

“Jimin, I had a really rough day today. I went home early to surprise my now ex-boyfriend on his birthday, but he was in bed with someone else,” you suddenly decide to blurt out.

He straightens up immediately, shock and anger taking over his features and he’s about to say something but you cut him off.

“I don’t know why, but you made me not think about him – not even once, and I’m really grateful. You made me have so much fun in a night, just by eating and talking. So thank you.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry about that, but what he did was blatantly stupid. You don’t deserve that at all. You’re an amazingly wonderful person who I’ve gotten the pleasure to know, and despite knowing you only for a while, I already do not want to let you go. I want to keep you. I want you to stay with me,” he says, his expression immediately softening.

Butterflies fly around madly in your stomach, your heart almost exploding out of your chest at his confession. You are so lucky to be with this man, you’re actually thankful that Seulgi brought you to the club.

You look up at him through your eyelashes. The moonlight illuminates his skin and he looks ethereal.

“Y/N, you deserve to be treated right,” he whispers.

You suddenly realize how close his face is to yours, your lips only an inch away from each other’s and the thought makes your head spin.

Without even thinking, you close the gap between your lips and press yours to his.

You feel sparks go off somewhere inside your body and butterflies are flying around madly in your stomach. You melt against him as you enjoy the feeling of his lips, soft and smooth against yours. Your heart is hammering against your rib cage as you feel him place his hands onto your cheeks, cradling your face gently as if you were a fragile and would break at any moment. You place your hands at the nape of his neck, just below his hair. You’re kissing each other slowly and softly, relishing in the feel of each other’s lips. His lips seem to fit perfectly with yours and after what seems like an eternity, he pulls away from you reluctantly only to gaze into your eyes as the both of you catch your breaths, making you feel something click into place.

He leans down again to kiss you but this time it’s more intense and your lips move against each other’s in a heated manner. You feel his tongue graze your bottom lip lightly, asking for entrance and you let out a soft moan as you graciously accept his tongue. The kiss becomes more passionate then, your tongues are dancing together, searching and exploring each other’s mouths as you arch your back, your torso pressed against his chest. He hums into your mouth and your heart is beating furiously against your chest as you pull away from him to catch your breath once again. Jimin too is breathing heavily, and he places a soft kiss right below your earlobe, his hot breath fanning gently against your skin.

Even though you’ve had many first kisses, this felt completely new to you. It felt as if you were having one of the greatest first kisses in your life, it felt special to you.

“Jimin.. how long have you been wanting to do that?” you murmur.

“Ever since I laid my eyes on you, Y/N,” he whispers into your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You lean into him again and bite his bottom lip gently, earning a moan from him. You feel his hands rub up and down your waist gently, making your waist feel tingly and numb.

“Do you.. do you want to come to my place?” he asks as he rubs his noise against yours, making you giggle.

“Yes,” you mutter under your breath. “Let’s go.” And then you both are up and back into his car as he drives back to his house. During the entire ride, he’s holding onto your hand and rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. The action is simple, but it makes your heart yearn for Jimin even more.

You realise that you’re already falling for this man.

You both reach his apartment and he guides you to his unit, opening the door for you as you both rush in to finish what you started.

He presses your body against the door, capturing your lips once again, your bodies pressed tightly against each other. You place your hands on his shoulders and jump onto him, straddling his waist and pushing your core against his growing bulge, making him groan into your mouth. Your lips never disconnect as he walks to his bedroom, his hands gripping your waist tightly and you feel yourself growing wet, this man’s presence alone enough to make you aroused.

He slowly places you down onto his bed and climbs over you as he takes his shirt off, and you can’t help but to gawk at him.

He looked like a god.

His body was a beautiful tan color, clearly indicating that he liked to be under the sun. He had a wide, muscular chest and washboard abs which looked rock hard, curved beautifully into his skin. You wanted to worship this man right here and right now.

You reach your hands out tentatively and place them over his chest, feeling his heart beat rapidly below the palm of your left hand as you trail your right hand down to feel his abs which he flexes for you, turning you on even more. Your hands rub against his abdomen, enjoying the feel of his muscles as he leans down to kiss your neck, instantly making you moan under him.

You tilt your head to the side, giving him more access as he starts to suckling the skin above your collarbone, giving it a small bite before licking it soothingly. You feel his hands kneading into your waist as he’s slowly lifting your top over your head, his hands inching higher and higher up your stomach.

He pulls your top over your head, and you suddenly become shy underneath him. He notices your change of expression, and immediately caresses your face with his thumb as he gazes into your eyes softly.

“Y/N, you’re beautiful – the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You deserve to be treated right.” His words make your heart soar and you pull his head down to yours to attack his lips in another frenzy.

“Jimin..” you whisper. “I want you, I need you.”

Something inside of him snaps, seeing you look at him like that, seeing you ask for him like that, and his innocent eyes are now laced with desire. For you. He’s going to do this right. He’s going to make you feel good. He’s going to make you his.

He unclasps your bra and throws it to the other side of the room, latching his mouth onto your nipple. His other hand is massaging your other breast gently, making your head spin as wetness pools at your core. He’s kissing around your chest and gets dangerously lower, pressing kisses all over your stomach, and you feel your core start to throb.

He unzips your skirt, pulling your soaked panties down along with it and throwing it aside, and you help him pull his jeans and boxers down, his erection smacking against his stomach.

He leans away from you only to look down at you with utter adoration. “Y/N, I’m going to treat you right. I’m going to take care of you,” he whispers as his eyes display affection and you can’t help but to feel happy, instantly knowing that he’s not going to throw you away the next day. You know that this isn’t simply a one night stand for him. You know that he too, wants you as much as you do.

He caresses your cheek as he spreads your legs a little and presses the tip of his member to the entrance of your core. He looks at you one more time for your approval, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and you nod at him, urging him to continue.

He slides into you slowly, making you both cry out in pleasure as your hands immediately make their way to his muscular back. He places his face into the crook of your neck, giving you a kiss there.

“Y/N.. you feel so good,” he murmurs, already making you feel the familiar coil form in your stomach.

“Jimin, move.”

And he does.

His pace is slow and tentative at first until you want more of him, so you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you, trying to not leave any space between you two.

You both are a mess of moans, your hands tangled in Jimin’ss hair as he leans down to capture your lips with his, moaning and grunting into your mouth.

The way he moves is magical, his body grinding against yours in such a sensual and erotic manner as he hits you in places you never thought possible, causing you to moan out his name repeatedly as though it were a beautiful mantra.

Your bodies are molded together beautifully, your breasts pressed hard against his chest leaving no space in between, your bodies fitting together perfectly as though two puzzle pieces were found and fixed together. You want your chests to crack open, your heartstrings to combine with each other to become one.

“Jimin, harder,” you gasp, your nails digging into his back, causing him to grip both sides of your hips tightly, probably leaving marks on them as he picks up his pace, pounding into you harder and faster. With every thrust of his hips, you feel your high approaching and you can tell that Jimin’s is too by the way his movements are getting slightly slower – though still making you feel an immense amount of pleasure.

“Jimin - I - I’m coming,” you manage to stutter and you feel his hand snake it’s way down and press onto your clit, adding even more to the pressure building in your stomach.

“Come for me, Y/N,” he whispers, his voice breaking apart as he loses himself in you. And you do.

You finally reach your climax, screaming out Jimin’s name and your vision goes completely white as you feel fireworks explode inside of your head, feeling absolute bliss and pleasure spread throughout your body.

Jimin reaches his climax soon after, coming all over your stomach and you both are panting, catching your breaths as he presses his forehead against yours, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“That was amazing, Y/N,” Jimin sighed, giving you a quick kiss on top of your head, bringing your body close to his before getting up and walking to his bathroom. He returned moments later with a damp towel to clean your body and you mumble a thank you to him. He tosses the towel away and then joins you back on the bed.

“Jimin,” you whisper, snuggling into his chest, feeling the drowsiness take over. He’s caressing your hair, your back, and keeping you close to him. You hear him whisper a “good night” to you before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

You wake up the next morning finding a beautiful face next to yours, and you smile brightly, reaching over to trace his features. You trace his eyes, his eyelashes, his nose and his lips, appreciating how they were all combined together to make him look like he does now. He moves a bit next to you, and then his eyes are open and the first thing he does is smile.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he says, giving you a quick peck on your lips. You close your eyes, thinking of everything that’s happened yesterday.

“Y/N?” Jimin nudges you gently. “Mmm?” He pulls you against him, holding you flush against his body as you tangle your fingers in his hair.

“There’s something I’d like to say.” You open your eyes and smile at him. “What is it, Jimin?” He blushes, a beautiful pink tinting his adorable cheeks.

“I’ve never felt like this with anyone else before, ever. Please stay with me.”

Your heart warms up at that and you lean into him, kissing him softly.

You trust that he won’t leave you. You trust that he won’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. You trust that he means it when he says he wants to take care of you. You believe in him, you believe that you were both brought together for a reason, and so you let yourself fall into him.

“I will.”

#park jimin fanfic #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts scenario #bts #park jimin #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #sehun fanfic #sehun #oh sehun

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3than1no · 7 years

Text

Unrequited Love Pt. 2

Pairing: Abraham/Reader, One sided Eugene/Reader

Request: Being in a relationship with Abraham but Eugene secretly has a crush on you and what Abraham would do finding out!

A/N: Wow okay, this was a tough one for me to write as it literally has NO happy ending at all lol I’m going to do a part three of this because I just can’t leave it how this ends lol I would also like to say that the lay out to this story is present and past scenes. The past scene are in italics whilst the present scenes are in normal font. Thank you so much for reading, enjoy!

Word Counter: 1,071

Tag List: @nerdaspe, @reedus-fever

(Credit to the owner of the GIF.)

Grief filled every single one of Eugene’s senses as he sat tucked away in the corner of the RV. He squeezed his eyes shut as horrifying scenes replayed over and over again in his mind. Within the silence Eugene was so sure he could still hear the dull thud of the bat as it took two of his friend’s lives. Glenn. Abraham. Eugene’s insides clenched painfully when he thought of them both, especially Abraham whom he had been through so much with. They deserved so much more than the end they were given. It felt wrong to Eugene that they were able to go back home, for the most part alive and well, whilst two of the strongest men he knew were not able to finally enjoy the potential Alexandria had.

Eugene hadn’t even realized he was staring at you until Tara had given him a pointed look as she strode passed him. His cheeks flamed with embarrassment at being caught and he instantly looked down to his feet. He had never felt so pathetic in his life, fawning over someone who had no idea and was happily in a relationship. Tara had made him promise, all that time ago at the party, that he would try to get over you but it was hard. Eugene looked up again and saw you heading towards the gates where he was currently on guard duty. His heart skipped a beat like it did every time you were in his proximity but was met with disappointment when he saw you change course to the guard platform where Abraham was.

Eugene’s gaze drifted to the back of the RV, to the white sheet that was draped over the bed. A red stain in the middle that made him want to throw up. He placed both hands over his face and quietly sobbed into them, it made him feel like a coward. His thoughts flew to back home and his heart broke all over again. You had no idea what had happened and Eugene knew he had to be the one to tell you. He felt like all of his insides were exploding with the amount of grief that coursed through him.

He watched as you spoke quietly to Abraham, there was a soft smile playing on your lips whilst Abraham looked relaxed and happy. Your gaze shifted from the man in front of you to Eugene and you lifted your hand in the air to give him a little wave. Eugene once again felt heat go to his face and he fumbled with the rifle in his hand to wave back. You grinned at him, amused by his clumsy nature, and Eugene was sure his heart was going to burst. Abraham was also looking at him but Eugene didn’t pay any attention, his whole being focused on making you smile again, so failed to notice the frown that had appeared on Abraham’s face.

The RV turned onto the familiar road that led to Alexandria’s gates and Eugene felt scared. He didn’t want to have to face everyone, see all of the looks of pity or hear the whispers. He didn’t want to face you, to see the look of hatred when he told you that Abraham was gone and Eugene couldn’t have done anything to stop it because he was a coward. He should have pleaded to trade places with his best friend, who deserved to be alive more than he did. There had been a moment before everything had happened when Eugene had believed he was a fighter but he knew now that he was wrong.

“You love her.”

Those three words made Eugene’s world stop. He stared down in horror, his mind racing one hundred miles an hour. The whole scenario had been unexpected, all Eugene had been doing was making some food when Abraham had entered the kitchen and noisily sat at the table.

“I do not.” Eugene said quietly staring down at his plate of food.

“I can see it now plain as day.” Abraham bit out gruffly. “How long?”

Words failed Eugene in that moment.

“Eugene.” Abraham said sternly after the other man hadn’t said anything. “How long?”

“I do n-“

“Don’t bullshit me!”

Eugene flinched at his raised voice. The tension in the room was palpable and he wanted nothing more than to flee to the confines of his bedroom.

“I-I believe since the first m-moment I laid my eyes on her.” Eugene stammered out truthfully.

The silence was deafening and Eugene cringed back waiting for Abraham to explode. He was glad he had his back to the man so he didn’t have to see the look of betrayal in his friend’s eyes. Abraham slammed his fist onto the table, Eugene jumped out of his skin, then abruptly stood up which knocked his chair over. Eugene half expected the man to punch him, like that day in front of the fire engine, but when he hesitantly looked over his shoulder he saw Abraham throw open the front door and storm out.

The two of them didn’t interact much after the confession not until the Saviors reared their ugly heads. Both actively avoided each other which confused you and neither of the men gave away anything. In the end you put it down to them not being able to get passed the fact Eugene had lied.

Eugene was the last of the group to exit the RV, the air around them full of despair. He quietly whispered to Rosita that he was going to go find you. The woman sighed sadly and squeezed Eugene’s shoulder in comfort. He slowly walked towards the house you all shared, his gut twisting painfully. Eugene felt bad that they had left Abraham’s body on the RV all alone but the group had decided it was best to leave him until you knew.

He stopped at the porch steps, petrified to move any further, and let out a shaky breath. The front door was flung open and your worried face appeared which immediately turned to shock when you took a look at his bloodied face.

“Eugene?” You squeaked out. “What happened to your face? Is Maggie and the baby okay?”

“I am truly sorry (Y/N).” He said softly not able to look you in the eye.

Eugene was sure he could hear your heart break in that very moment.

#the walking dead #the walking dead fan fiction #the walking dead reader insert #abraham ford #eugene porter #abraham x reader #eugene x reader (onesided)#angsty af #heartbreak #this made me cry lol #twd #reader insert #twd fanfiction #twd reader insert #reader one shots #fan fiction #fan fics

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

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