#she has no idea how to manage society by herself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luckybunny555 · 11 months

Text

Gwen patching you up after a mission

You and Gwen had just finished a particularly difficult and demanding mission, so when you both finally arrive to your apartment, she helps you take care of your bruises and scratches. You return the favor, taking care of her too

🕷 Gwen Stacy x Spider!GN!Reader 🕷

Warnings: mention of injuries, cursing, not very angsty, more like fluff actually, reader lives alone because I wanted to?? but not necessarily 18+, in my head it makes sense. SFW ofc

A/N: reader is kinda chaotic and clumsy?? because I was writing some HCs for this type of reader when I had the idea for this scenario so... it's kinda complementing my HCs post(that I haven't posted yet). Also, I didn't specify the relationship she has with the reader, so you can choose whether or not you guys are dating or something else, but it is romantic(cute feelings and kisses yay!). Proofread and written at 3am so idk if this is good but let's gooo.

She might’ve never admitted it out loud, but Gwen loved being paired with you for missions. That was one of the ways she found to keep an eye on you and make sure you were safe during dangerous fights. The two of you had slowly gotten closer with time– you met her through the Spider Society, of course, and despite her attempts to keep her emotional walls up and high, you managed to find a way into her heart. And when you did? Oh boy, she could not let go of you.

It was her instinct to become more and more protective of you, given everything she's gone through. Besides, that's what happens when you feel a deep connection to someone. She wants to protect you, keep you safe, make sure nothing bad ever happens to her precious spidey. And you were very aware of that. It was obvious, from the way she would find any excuse and moment to casually touch you, to how she'd stand closer to you whenever Miguel's anger over some mishap in a mission was starting to get out of hand, or when she'd keep her gaze on you from a distance whenever you were up to some trouble, always ready to rescue you when needed. You could tell how protective she was over you, and it made your heart grow warmer each time she showed you.

But even with all the protection she could offer you, keeping you completely unharmed was a very difficult task. You were a free spirited person, guided by your curiosity and passion, and there was not a single person in the entire multiverse who could get you to settle down and chill out. In other words, getting into trouble was a daily occurrence to you.

You had a tendency to dive head first into danger, and your passion for your "spider-duties" and keeping people safe encouraged you to jump into action without second thought. And of course, your approach wasn't always successful. This time wasn't very different.

Miguel had assigned you both to a particularly difficult mission. This anomaly you had to contain was unlike your usual villains, which is why you were caught by surprise and unprepared. Even though it demanded more effort than your average missions, you and Gwen were actually able to knock out this unconventional villain, but unfortunately, not before it did a number on both of you.

The nasty wound on your knee that caused you to limp was enough reason for her to not leave you unsupervised for a single moment. She refused to let go of you when heading back to the HQ, carefully helping you walk as she slung your arm over her shoulders to support you. No matter how much you protested(not much anyways, because you enjoyed how close she was to you...) and tried to convince her your bruise wasn't that serious, she simply wouldn't listen. She had to make sure herself that you were fine, and she wouldn't rest until she took proper care of your injury.

"Gwen, it's not that bad! I can still walk, I'm just slower than-"

"Shut up, you got hurt and I'm gonna take you home to make sure you're fine. Forgive me if I don't trust your words, troublemaker, but with the frequency you get yourself hurt, I have reason to worry," she tells you in a scolding tone, but you know she's not serious, seeing the hint of a smile on the corner of her lips, causing you to chuckle.

"Aw, you're worried about me?" you tease her, your gaze fixed on her as she narrows her eyes at you, playfully pretending to be fed up with your attitude. You laughed to yourself.

After a quick word with Miguel to make sure everything went okay with the mission, she insists on taking you home. Even though she had some injuries herself, she pushed them to the back of her mind, focusing on making sure your wound was properly taken care of before she worried about her own.

So, once you crawl inside through your window with her help, you allow your body to fall on your bed, letting out a loud sigh as you dramatically throw your arms up and cross them over your eyes. Gwen lets out a chuckle while watching you, your playfulness soothing her nerves since you don't seem to be too affected by your bruised knee. At this point, she knew your apartment like the back of her hand, so she hurried to get the first aid kit you kept in your bathroom cabinet.

Coming back into your bedroom, she sat with her legs crossed on your bed, placing the box beside her. She positioned your legs over each of her thighs, sitting between them so she could take proper care of your knee.

"Use the Hello Kitty[or whatever character you'd like] band-aids this time," you say, jokingly pretending to be mad at her, uncovering your eyes to look at her.

"Oh, you think those band-aids are gonna cover this wound? Cute," she teases you, laughing as she takes a few items from the first aid kit.

"It's not that bad," you dramatically let your arms fall on the bed, causing her to look at you. She knew she could get overly worried at times, but judging from your expression, you didn't seem mad at her. "I mean, usually it's a lot less worse, though. But did you see that villain? They were huge!" she chuckles, listening to your rant as she starts to clean the big scratch on your skin.

You kept rambling about the mission, as you usually do, letting Gwen do her thing. And in the back of your mind, you noticed how nice it felt. Not the wound, obviously. But how gentle she was when taking care of you. You had kind of a taste for danger, whether intentionally or not, but you were glad to have someone so patient and caring to patch you up every time you needed. And you could handle her totally non-threatening scolds, neither of you taking it seriously, knowing it wouldn't keep you from getting yourself hurt again.

You also started realizing how attentive she was. I mean, she was very focused on your bruise, carefully cleaning it to prevent any infections. But she also seemed to pay attention to your whole rant, complementing your comments with her own experiences from the mission. Most people would've tuned it out now, or wouldn't be able to focus on both things.

Your talk started to slow down, and as you fixed your gaze on her, admiring her focused expression, you noticed your breaths getting deeper and slower. You couldn't help noticing how pretty she looked. The bedroom was only dimly lit, the lamp on your bedside table illuminating your wound enough for her, but you could faintly see her freckles, and her soft smile that had appeared during your conversation, and how her hair was covering part of her face, her head tilted, eyes on your bruise...

Realizing that you had gone quiet for a moment, she looked up at you with a curious expression. Her hands stopped cleaning the scratch on your leg when she noticed the way you were looking at her. You weren't aware of it, of course, but she felt her heart skip a beat in that moment. "Why are you staring at me like that, you weirdo?" she joked, letting out a nervous chuckle. You hesitate for a moment.

Propping yourself up on your hands, you shift closer as you keep your gaze on hers. Her breath hitches with your sudden movement, surprised and curious about your intentions. "Because you look really pretty," you confess, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating. Her eyes slightly widen at your words, and you can see a bit of her tooth gap as her lips slightly part when she lets out a subtle gasp. You brush a strand of hair away from her face, allowing you to have a better look at her, and it sends a shiver down her spine. "Thank you for putting up with me, and always taking care of me when I get hurt. Which is often," you let out a low chuckle, admiring her eyes as you straighten your seated position, your faces only a few inches apart.

Gwen's mind went blank for a moment, thoughts clouded as time seemed to melt while she was seated in front of you, closer than she would've dared, but not close enough for her liking. Your words make her scoff, slightly smiling as she shakes her head, "Yeah, more often than I'd like." She drops the cloth she was using to clean your scratch, allowing her hands to rest on your thighs. "It would be great if you could be more careful, but we both know that's not gonna happen," she quietly laughs, her gaze traveling across your face, observing all your features, that she adores so much.

You giggle, shaking your head from side to side, "No..." a playful grin appears on your face, knowing this scene would keep repeating itself, in different ways and settings, but reveling in the idea that she'd still be there for you. "Good thing I always have my princess charming to catch me right in time, right?" you say, tilting your head slightly to the side, wrapping your arms around her shoulders as you bring her closer. The grin that appears on her face matches yours, and she can't help but chuckle at your choice of words.

"Yeah, you always do," taking one last look at your eyes, she says before closing the distance between you two. Her hands move towards your waist, bringing you even closer as she kisses you. Even with your lips connected, you can feel the both of you smiling.

When you two pull back, breaking the kiss, you notice the softness and admiration in her gaze. You can only assume your eyes express the same for her. Breaking the silence, she turns her gaze to your bruise once again. "Alright, stop distracting me now, your knee still needs bandage," she tells you, and you let out a loud sigh as you let you body drop on the bed once more, but unable to hold back your giggles as you continue to gaze at her.

She quickly finishes patching you up, placing a large band-aid on your knee before reaching out to grab one of the colorful pens you keep on your bedside table. She draws [whatever character you like] over it, remembering how you wanted her to use your cuter, but unfortunately smaller, band-aids. "Done, are you happy now?" she asks, teasing you.

Sitting up again, you notice her drawing on your bandage, which makes your eyes light up. To her, the look on your face was the equivalent to cartoon characters having stars in their big, wide eyes, and seeing you like that made her giggle. You quickly embrace her in a tight hug, only pulling back to pepper kisses on her face, causing you both to laugh.

"Thank you, it looks super cute," you say with a sweet smile on your face. Despite the darker setting, you could almost see a slight shade of pink on her cheeks. "Did you get any bad bruises too?" you ask, concerned about her state as well, even though she hadn't complained about any injuries.

She shakes her head, a small smile still on her face as her expression softens at your gentleness and concern. "Nothing a shower can't take care of," she replies, reassuring you. You nod, slowly pulling away your arms from her shoulders.

The two of you had gotten used to this. You enjoyed having company in your apartment, so you'd always invite her over, sometimes for a sleepover, and sometimes it would last a few days... You got used to her borrowing your clothes, eating your food, sleeping on your bed(because you refused to let her sleep on the couch, even though she said it would be fine). It was nice to constantly have her as a house guest.

So you get up, carefully as to not hurt your knee again, and make your way towards your closet, finding clean, comfortable clothes for her to borrow. Handing them to her, she gets up from your bed and plants a kiss on your forehead as a thank you, heading to your bathroom to take a shower.

While you wait for her, you notice the sounds coming from your stomach, and you assume she might be hungry as well. Since you have time, but not a lot of energy since you got back from a mission, you decide to make a quick and easy meal just for the two of you.

Right after her, you take a quick shower, feeling more comfortable and warm. You bring the two bowls with food to your bedroom, sitting down in bed with Gwen, your backs against the headboard as you turn on the TV to watch something while you eat.

Despite the intensity of the day, it feels relaxing to simply enjoy a simple meal in bed, right beside her as you laugh at the TV screen. For these few moments, there's no Spider duty, no problems that need to be solved. She could finally relax, knowing the both of you were safe and okay.

After a while, both plates finished and now in an almost laid down position, the tiredness from the day started setting in. A few yawns were let out by both of you as your eyes wanted to drift closed, but neither of you wanted to give in, enjoying each other's company too much to let your exhaustion get in the way.

Unable to resist any longer, and partially because you wanted to feel Gwen closer to you, you finally decide to turn off the lights. Laying down and finding a comfortable position, you wrap your arms around her, bringing her down to lay next to you. You gently hold her face, laying her head on your chest as your arms wrap tightly yet comfortably around her.

Gwen was a bit surprised by your actions. Of course you had already slept in the same bed before, but being this close to you? That's a new one. It took her a moment to really adjust to it.

She started noticing how softly you were holding her, even though your grip was tight enough to keep her close. It made her feel comforted and wanted. And when you started playing with her hair, oh, she melted under your touch.

Almost instinctively, she buried her head deeper into your chest, her arms wrapping tightly around your waist. You could tell what it meant for her to be held like that, so you placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, glad to offer her comfort in return for how caring and gentle she was with you.

Truly, it meant a lot for you too. You might be reckless, like, 90% of the time, but being able to witness this, to notice how all of her muscles relax while you're lovingly holding her, how her breath starts to slow down and get steadier with each second, it was like being bathed in sunlight. As you felt both of you drifting asleep, all you wished for was that this moment would last for as long as it could.

#across the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman atsv #gwen stacy #spider gwen #spider man across the spider verse #ghost spider #atsv #atsv x reader #gwen x reader #gwen stacy x reader #ghost spider x reader #spider gwen x reader #spider man: across the spider verse

257 notes · View notes

myheadphonesareneverloudenough · 3 months

Text

Nerdy Prudes Must Die; musical motifs

i have so many thoughts about Nerdy Prudes Must Die and specifically the musical motifs used throughout. so buckle up, i want to talk. (theres a whole breakdown under the cut.)

so, if you didn't know already, Jeff Blim is a musical genius. and in the Hatchetfield universe, theres so many musical motifs that get used in every show. but there's one in particular that i don't know what to call it, but i'm gonna say it's 'the nerds' theme'. it's this one right here;

i've heard some call it Pete's theme, which is wrong. this specific melody is the theme of Pete, Richie, and Ruth's self worth and their inescapable tragedies. when we meet the three friends, it's very obvious that they see themselves at the bottom of the high school food chain. the nerds have accepted that they are worthless and will amount to nothing in school, because that is where society has placed them. it's as simple as Pete's song Cool As I Think I Am. he very literally does not see himself as valuable as the other students. but when that idea shifts from Cool As I Think I Am to Cool As She Thinks I Am, suddenly we have Pete realising his self worth, and the motif shows up;

and right after that, Pete is beat up in a parking lot by Max Jägerman. Pete's own self worth can only go so far when you have people like Max denying it constantly.

so now there's lyrics to this motif, and yes, Pete is the first one to sing it. But that doesn't make it any less Ruth and Richie's.

just like Pete, Richie finds his self worth in the acceptance from others. Once Max is gone and Richie makes friends with the football team, he realises how great it is to be alive. he realises that he deserves to be alive.

when Max comes to kill him, Richie justifies his self worth with the motif that returns for him this time, not Pete;

now they're not his final words, but Richie dies after declaring, "I'm Not A Loser". when he finally gets some self worth, he is murdered and never gets to fulfil that worth.

Ruth's self worth is a little different. she views her worthlessness as unfair. she believes that if she was different, she could be something great. unlike Pete and Richie, Ruth really shows that she has bigger dreams. Ruth wants to be the star of the show. she wishes to be appreciated, and her ungodly horniess can honestly be seen as a metaphor for wanting to be loved. Ruth sings about her self worth in the most Ruth way, with her own number in the BBQ Monologues.

the climax of the song (which Lauren kills, btw) the motif comes back again in the background. This time, it's for Ruth and her self worth;

does the fact that Ruth's version of the motif doesn't include the 'im not a loser' lyrics have to do with Ruth having more belief in herself? that she doesn't need to explain she isn't a loser because she knows she isn't a loser and deserves to have a chance in the spotlight? i sure as hell think so.

but Max kills her immediately after. he stops her from ever living out her big dreams of being a star.

the motif comes back again, obviously, in the reprise of Cool As I Think I Am;

the lyrics change this time around, and Pete sings 'you have to do it', which is him telling Steph that she has to be the one to kill him. despite Pete learning how to have self worth throughout this whole show, he still views himself as expendable. could this be justified with the fact that his two best friends just had their hopes and dreams shattered in death? probably. the point is, at some point during Max's killing spree, the death of his best friends, and the summoning of the Lords in Black, Pete has managed to convince himself that he's worthless again.

now. in the end, it feels like a happy ending due to the nature of The Best of You, but there are still a lot of loose ends to be explored. and on top of all that, the Nerds' motif comes back one last time;

because Grace kept the Black Book and continued to use it, and the Lords in Black are far from fair, i think Pete's torment and tragic narrative is not over by the end of NPMD.

so yeah. Pete, Richie, and Ruth are 'doomed by the narrative', as are most people in Hatchetfield. but these three characters are specifically doomed by their own self worth, and the narrative will never let them truly become their true selves.

and Jeff Blim wrote a banger melody to tell that story.

#im so normal about these 3 nerds #this is totally neurotypical behaviour #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #pete spankoffski #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #j screams #a lot #hatchetfield #starkid #jeff blim

80 notes · View notes

aspoonofsugar · 10 months

Text

Blake Belladonna's Design

This is a quick appreciation of our Cat Girl's design. Its objective is to offer a short analysis by incorporating elements of other metas. Ideally, the end result will be something similar to Yang's post. Finally, this is the final piece of my mid-summer Blake meta spree :) So, enjoy!

JUST ANOTHER CAT GIRL?

Blake's design plays with the idea of "cat girl". Cat girls are common in anime and mangas, but are often overly sexualized. In particular, cat ears are usually presented as an overly cute trait and sometimes a fetish.

RWBY takes this idea and subverts it in 2 ways.

Blake's ears are initially hidden, so that her affinity with cats gets highlighted through other aesthetical elements:

Gambol Shroud's ribbon resembles a cat's tail and it being a whip may reference the infamous cat o' nine tails

She decorates her eyes with cat eye makeup

She is able to make copies of herself, which get jokingly referred to as copycats

In Mistral she wears leg boots, which bring to mind Puss in Boots

In Atlas she wears a catsuit

Blake's cat trait becomes a core part of her identity, which is explored on a double level:

It represents her faunus heritage, which makes her different from humans and discriminated

It is a symbol of Blake's troubled past and of her involvement with the White Fang

So, Blake covers her cat ears to run from both society and herself. Just like a scaredy cat ;)

As you see, with some limitations and worldbuilding, Blake manages to be a cat girl with much depth to her. Still, there is more to her cat design.

FROM CALICO TO TUXEDO

Let's juxtapose Blake's initial concept art with her final design:

What changes is the cat used as the main inspiration.

In the initial concept art it is the calico cat (tricolor cat):

In the final character design it is the tuxedo cat (bicolor cat):

Why the change? Let's explain it by highlighting one similarity (1) and one difference (2) between the two kitties.

1- Both cats are called after a type of cloth:

Calico is a fabric, which originates in India (the set of the Jungle Book - Blake's secondary allusion) and is famous for its colorful printed patterns. I wouldn't be surprised if Blake's clothes in the concept art were meant to be calico made.

Tuxedo is a formal wear, which consists of a black suit over a white shirt and a bow tie. Well, Blake's final design is a revisitation of the traditional tuxedo with a shorter jacket and a bow worn in the hair, instead than as a tie.

The idea of "cloth" is heavily used in Blake's design, which may be one of the reasons why the tuxedo is eventually chosen. This kitty, thus, offers a pretty poignant metaphor.

It all starts with Gambol Shroud, where shroud means a piece of cloth that conceals or protects:

Here come two thoughts:

Blake's bow is her shroud which is why it resembles her weapon’s ribbon (same color and similar material). The bow is the ears, while the ribbon is the tail. Together they complement Blake’s cat design.

Some tuxedo cats are called tuxedo masks because it is as if a black mask covers their whole faces. It is easy to see how this concept fits Blake, who conceals herself thanks to a little piece of fabric.

Basically, Blakes's bow is her tuxedo tie, which is worn as a mask.

2- The two cats differ when it comes to their color:

The calico is a tricolor cat, which is mostly known as having a white coat with some orange and black patches

The tuxedo is a bicolor cat, which has white and black fur

These two color patterns are another reason why Blake has been characterized as a tuxedo instead than a calico. As a matter of fact the black and white dychotomy fits our beautiful faunus girl more.

WHITE AND BLACK = BEAUTY AND BEAST

In old English, Blake's name means both black and white. As a result, she is linked to both colors, which tie with her light and shadow motif:

Blake is associated to the twilight because it is where light and shadow meet. What's more, her musical theme is built on this duality. She starts in the shadows and climbs her way up towards the light.

Well, Light and Shadow are linked to two Jungian Archetypes:

The Light is the persona, so what is shown to others

The Shadow is what is repressed, so the hidden parts

And these two archetypes are explored in The Beauty and The Beast:

The Beauty is the light - she is beautiful, lovable and accepted

The Beast is the shadow - he is ferocious, scary and misunderstood

So, Blake's own allusion can be read as the integration of beauty and beast, light and shadow, so that a new unit (a new individual) is born. This is also Blake's arc in a nutshell. She starts as a shadow because she hides herself, but with time she steps into the light and shows the world who she is.

In other words, Blake's Beauty and Beast allusion is referenced in her appearence not only in her nature as a faunus, but in her color scheme too. She is both beauty and beast, light and shadow, white and black.

This is also why these two colors are incorporated in respectively Sun and Ilia.

Sun is white, as he leads Blake towards the light:

Ilia is black, as she forces Blake to face her own shadows:

Through them Blake integrates her shadows and stops hiding:

This is why her design changes in Mistral in two notables ways:

She gives up her bow once and for all

She wears a white jacket over a black top

These two details mirror Blake's inner journey. She learns to show herself more, so her ears get to be out in the open and the light (white) surfaces. In Beacon, instead, the ears are concealed and Blake is wrapped in shadows (black).

Ironically, this means Blake's design loses the core traits of her tuxedo cat inspiration. As a matter of fact she has no bow tie anymore and the color pattern is inverted, which doesn't work. Why this choice? It is because Blake is going from Beast (black + cat) to Beauty (white + individual). Symbolically, this happens as she shows her faunus trait more openly:

She grows more beautiful (human) as she openly embraces her beast side (cat).

GOLD, BLUE AND PURPLE = HOT, COLD AND JUST RIGHT

The shift from calico to tuxedo brings some consequences to Blake and Yang's complementary designs.

Let's compare the bees exploratory ideas:

As people have noticed, Blake and Yang are aesthetically and symbolically linked since early on.

Here, we have:

Blake with one gold eye and one blue eye

Yang with a blue bandana

This chromatic choice ties into Yang's allusion and design. As a matter of fact our Goldilocks uses colors to represent the too hot, too cold and just right. Specifically:

red/orange is the too hot

blue/green is the too cold

purple (blue + red) is the just right

So, in the picture above Yang's looks play with the dychotomy between too hot and too cold. This same duality is mirrored in Blake:

She is both too hot (gold eye) and too cold (blue eye)

She wears much gold in general (Yang's main color)

The idea is clear. Blake is Yang's hot and cold. In particular, she brings some needed blue in Yang's life. She helps Goldilocks cool down and become more balanced. Similarly, Blake proudly wears Yang's golden tones, as she has to grow more like her Golden Beauty.

So, how have these ideas evolved in Blake’s final design?

Blake has gained a strong association with purple, which makes her Yang's just right

Blake's color scheme has ditched gold in favor of silver, which makes her and Yang complementary

Blake's link to purple is interesting because this color calls back to her family and to the surname Belladonna (beautiful woman in Italian). In other words, it is connected to both Ghira's legacy and her Beauty side. So, it is not a surprise that Blake grows more purple in each arc:

She is slowly blooming into Yang's just right by reconciling with her legacy and by becoming a person worthy of our golden girl.

This transformation is highlighted also by Blake integrating some gold into her:

In both her Vale and Atlas's designs Blake is linked to silver, so that she can complete Yang's gold. Still, in Mistral she has some gold details because this is the arc where she integrates her missing parts. This integration ends with Adam's death and Blake's rebirth:

So, Blake's design tells a story of inner growth, which leads her to stand beside Yang as an equal:

Blake: She's not protecting me, Adam. And I'm not protecting her. We're protecting each other.

This theme is important for Blake's Cat Girl archetype. Cat Girls, thus, are often reduced to love interests, but Blake's arc is a deconstruction of this idea. What would happen if the male partner of a Cat Girl is abusive? Blake explores this concept and tells a story of liberation and development, which ends with a reconstruction of the trope. Our Cat Girl ends up in a happy relationship, but not as a shallow prize. Rather as a winner.

BEASTS, LIONS AND WOLVES

In conclusion, Blake's design alludes to the Beauty and Beast on three levels:

Society= Blake is both human (beauty) and animal (beast)

Couple = Blake and Yang are drawn as complementary

Individual = Blake is both white (light) and black (shadow)

Still, this is not the only fairy tale our Cat Girl ties into thanks to her animal features. Here come three examples.

Blake is Bagheera's daughter and a small panther (a cat) in the Jungle Book

Blake is a Scaredy Cat to Lioneheart's Cowardly Lion. Except that of course the cat is braver than the lion

Blake is Ruby's black beast in team RWBY's LRRH team allusion

This last reference is foreshadowed since Red Like Roses:

Black the beast descends from shadows.

After all, the Beowolves appear when Blake's line comes up.

Moreover, Blake's secondary allusions all come together to strongly link our Black Shadow to wolves. In the Jungle Book, Mowgli is raised by wolves, just like Blake grows up in the White Fang. The name of the group itself calls back to wolves, as it references the title of Jack London's book about a half-dog half-wolf, who fights to be accepted by humans.

Finally, it turns out Blake is not the only Cat, who turns out to be a Wolf:

In short, Blake's design lets her freely move between allusions and references. Not only that, but it is crafted to add depth and thematic resonance to her character and her arc. Not bad for just another Cat Girl, uh?

#rwby #blake belladonna #rwby meta #my meta #yang xiaolong #bumbleby #character design #once upon an allusion

210 notes · View notes

bonefall · 5 months

Note

Thoughts about Violetshine’s and Needletail’s connection to each other in AVoS please?

I heard what’s probably quite a unpopular opinion out there that the bond that these two characters have is quite unhealthy, and I’m genuinely curious if you agree with that statement or not and/or if that’s actually true or not.

I'm gonna be TOTALLY honest. AVoS was so boring to me that my memory has basically blanked out on most of what I read. If DOTC wasn't SO rancid, AVoS would be my least favorite arc. BB!AVoS is one of the least solidified arcs because of it-- I plan to do an AVoS reread after I manage to choke through the rest of the back-half of DOTC.

I have a solid middle and everything around Breezepelt, a new POV, is pretty clear in my mind. I have a good grasp on the politics of ShadowClan falling apart. I even know the emotional angle I want to play with Needletail and Sleekwhisker. But there's so many little things that I'm just not sure how to work with, so hopefully a reread will help it all click.

I do always try to preserve the "emotional core" of things, even when arcs get shuffled and overhauled like this one.

BUT ANYWAY from what I remember, yeah, Needletail and Violetkit have a pretty unhealthy relationship. Which was actually one of the few things I like. I like that Needletail is actually pretty nasty, and that her most consistent trait is that she refuses to be told what to do.

To me, Needle pretty snappish with Violetkit in the way that some teenagers are nasty with little kids, and I just think that's very interesting. I hate the way that the arc ultimately says that the problem in ShadowClan was... idk Kids These Days and their iPhones, but I LIKE the idea that these (overall pretty unremarkable) teenagers, with some good points about how ridiculous their society is, got exploited by a malicious actor.

And what I like about that with Needle and Violet's friendship being pretty toxic is that, well, sometimes teenagers are like that. They resent having to watch younger kids, or having responsibilities thrust on them, because they're looking for their own freedom. Needlepaw is a child, herself, but Violetkit doesn't have a decent mother figure so she latches to her like a baby duck.

Needle shouldn't have to be this kid's parent and she resents that, in spite of (or maybe exactly because) this is a consequence of her own choices. And Violet has no other choice, and no way of understanding "what she did wrong."

I like sad little relationships like that. Unfixable ones. Of course canon kinda threw it out the window with Needletail dying to save her and Violetshine never having a complicated view of her in hindsight as a result, but, such is Warrior Cat.

i take a hammer and i feex the canon

#bone babble

118 notes · View notes

yandere-1-fandom · 10 months

Text

An Extraterrestrial Disaster!

XxXxX

After a malfunction onboard her spaceship, astronaut Y/F/N awakens from a 300-year cryosleep to find herself in an alien temple on a distant planet far from Earth. She is both awed and terrified to discover that she has become the central figure in an ancient tribal war between extraterrestrial beings: four-armed, four-eyed alien primates called the Macaquar.

Their society is divided into two factions: The Surya, led by the charismatic and cunning Sun Wukong, who venerate the sun; and the Nyx, led by the wise and stoic Liùěr Míhóu, who pay their respects to the moon. The two factions are at a constant war, their rivalry fueled by their mutual obsession with Y/N, whom they believe is the Goddess of Light prophesied in legends.

While Y/N had been encapsulated in her hibernation pod, referred to by the Macaquar as the 'Crystal Egg', generations of leaders from both factions have struggled to free her, convinced that a matrimonious union with the Light would bring eternal prosperity to their clan. Y/N's sudden awakening has only intensified their infatuation and power struggle.

Y/N's only friend is A.N.G.E.L., her intelligent, fish-like AI companion; who managed against all odds to survive the crash. A.N.G.E.L. is not only her guide in this foreign land, but also her only possible chance of escape.

As Y/N navigates this strange world and it people, she learns more about the root of their conflict, and in a twist of fate, Y/N discovers hidden secrets that might ultimately save her or end in bloodshed.

In the midst of her daring plan, Y/N finds that both Sun Wukong and Liùěr Míhóu infatuation with her adds more opposition on her journey for freedom.

Will Y/N escape the clutches of obsession?

Or...

Will she become forever trapped as a pawn in someone else's game?

The fate of an entire civilization and her own hangs in the balance.

XxXxX

I'm finally set on the idea of making this into a story. I don't know how long it will be, but i'm gonna try... key word there.

#lego monkie kid #yandere sun wukong #yandere six eared macaque #sun wokung #six eared macaque #x reader #yandere #obsessed love #yandere x you #lego macaque #lego sun wukong #syfy #wip #alien au #syfy jttw #jttw #jttw au

153 notes · View notes

gomzdrawfr · 5 months

Text

Royal AU

heavy sigh LISTEN, this brainrot has taken over me so hard that I physically cant even make anything shiny au related(dragon!Price one) so pLEASE, lemme show u what this au is all about:

an attempt at the emblem has been made, and honestly? im not gonna do any more of this bcuz god i suck at designs HAHAHSKDJHSAD

some lore if you're interested:

so Raven is adopted by Vik, who was the previous Royal Guard for Price's dad, and because Vik doesnt have any son, he makes Raven to grow up as one

The general story is like this, Vik was also part of a society, Cobra who wanted to throw the kingdom into chaos, and so they plot a plan to assassinate Prince!Price, because they think another prince is more fitting to be the next king, however this ended up in an unfortunate turn of event where Vik killed the king instead of Prince!Price, so Price had to ascend the throne pretty early on

In other words, Vik also had other intention when he specifically trains Raven to be the next royal guard, since he wants Raven to get close to Price for her to kill him -> and this fact is disguised as a fact that "oh hey Raven you need to be a guy to continue this "FaMiLY tRaDitIoN"

okay, dialing back a lil, let's talk about the relationship between Price and Raven for a sec, they're childhood friends as mentioned.

Basically, young Prince!Price who likes to sneak out and hang out with the royal guard's "son", Raven, in secret of course

they often like to hang out in one of the sealed off room in the palace, to which they managed to find a way to enter it of course, so lets call this the "childhood room"

expanding on the lore, when they both grow up they start hanging out lesser due to their respective roles and duties. Keep in mind, all these time Price thought Raven was a dude, until "event" happened of course

so what's this "event" you ask?

basically, around the time when Price was announced to be the next heir to the throne, he decided to take a break from his work and visit the childhood room, it has always been a safe haven for him. Just before he wants to leave though, an injured and soon to be Royal Guard Raven stumbles into the room(she cant go to the infirmary in risk of being exposed), with one hand around her abdomen area

Price decided to stay quiet and observe, he hasnt seen "him" in such a long time afterall, and thats when he saw Raven wearing a binder underneath all the armour as she wrapped a bandage around her abdomen, which reveals her gender after all this time

so technically, Price knows Raven's true identity since early on, but never commented on it, but it definitely does throw him off for...several reasons :]

anyways....idk how else to expand this but i do have a general idea, maybe something about Vik forcing Raven to kill Price in one of the events, but she retaliates instead, and as a result she tries to off herself since she has been lying to Price the entire time, insert angst and more angst, then idk timeskip to Price finding out Raven's real real identity ((because keep in mind, Raven's adopted, not blood related to Vik)) is a forgotten Princess or sum, and then they get married and live happily ever after((LET ME BE DELULU))

but yeeeeeeeeeee XDDD thats about it

#can you tell I've been reading isekai manga #anyways #gummmyart #doodle #my oc #my oc art #cod oc #cod oc art #alternate universe #Royal AU #[oc]Raven #Raven[oc]#captain john price #john price x oc #captain john price x oc #PriceRaven

65 notes · View notes

twimshi · 1 year

Text

Shattered Realities Prt.1 (Hobie brown/P!Reader)

ALSO THIS IS A ROUGH DRAFT SINCE IVE NEVER WRITTEN LIKE THIS BEFORE.

What happens if someone from our universe where no superheroes exist, falls into the society of superheroes

"She isn't glitching"

She doesn't remember falling until she feels her stomach flip, her eyes flying open with the multitude of colors that blind her vision as she catapulted.

She also dosent remember screaming but she most definitely was.

"Holy shit-" Her arms are flailed and bent in all types of positions trying to possibly slow her descent as she hits the hard pavement.

It doesn't.

She thinks something pops but pays no mind to it because of the crowd forming around her.

Multiple people in a familiar red jumpsuit surround her vision.

She slowly gets up despite the pain in her left shoulder to examine everything around her.

Before she even tries to run away someone shoots something that reminded her of a tazer she saw in a minions movie once, but without the electric shock part, causing her to fall before her hands were stuck together making her fall on her face.

Though the impact alone didn't hurt her elbow sent a jolt of pain across her entire body making her scream in pain.

"Who is she?" One says on a horse.

Oh my god was she on drugs?

"Is she another Spiderman?" Another who looks almost the same as the other's outfit but blue says.

No way she can't be on drugs.

"Why is she here dressed all normal" A talking Lego says.

So many questions were asked before someone pulled her upright by a strong person, he kind of looked like a bear.

She considers the idea of her being on LSD at this very moment.

A really buff one in fact.

Who was also wearing a skin-tight suit?

He summons, well calls some robots to do a scan on her which sends a little shiver down her body.

The machine speaks "Foreign entity, no universe"

This sends the crowd of people into a frenzy, are they people? Probably some weird nerds.

Why are so many lights?

The strong angry teddy looing man manages to calm everyone.

"Who are you?" He says not even introducing himself, what a rude bear she thinks to herself.

So many red people.

Her eyes hurt.

Her shoulder hurts.

She wants to vomit.

Her head lolls to the back, something he recognized making his heart almost drop before going back to interrogation mode "Kid answer- Hey, hey hey don't just fall!"

She vomits and passes out.

".............We can't find out where she's from"

"............Maybe your system is bugged"

"............Maybe your brain is bugged"

Then the door closes when she hears someone complain about them being too loud and hears whoever that was talking stomp out.

She groans waking up, throwing off the blanket that was kindly placed on her, and stretches her arm - was it fixed? "Can you guys keep it down, my head hurts"

"You're awake" The one with The hijabi says, coming toward her "How did you get here?"

"I just fell?"

"Fell?" The girl in twin buns said before retracting her words "I'm Byte by the way, but is that all you remember before you fell? Like can you at least tell us your name so we can narrow down your location?"

"Yeah, it's..." Her heart drops.

Her brain is swirling on itself.

"My name is..."

The two share a look that makes her play with her hair nervously, trying to figure out what was happening.

Her body feels empty all of a sudden.

Sun-spider who has entered the room for nothing other than snooping coughs (who has not introduced herself by name) to try to break whatever nervous silence that was forming "As much as I love suspense, please tell us. I gotta get the ice cream machine working again"

She tries again, this time she's clawing her hair to grasp on anything - but every time she seems to get closer to anything, the memory falls into itself.

A nervous smile exits her lips.

It seems like the static in her head becomes louder and louder.

"I don't know..."

Byte raises a brow in concern, checking her head for injuries while questioning her "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I just can't, I don't remember anything" She says, all of the uncomfortable aura leaving her in an instant like a reset button.

Essentially returning her back to her ditsy self.

But Byte isn't convinced

"Are you sure?" She says moving closer to her and turning on another device to scan her heartbeat in case she was lying.

"Yup" The girl replies her bright mood suddenly lifted, which the others found odd, but she spins her head around "Where is the scary guy?"

"Why are you asking?" Byte says

"Just so I can avoid him, he scares me"

Byte chuckles and turns off her device, grabs the other girl, and shakes her head.

"He uh...A little rough on the edges"

The girl nods suddenly like she gets it "Like a cool brooding backstory?"

"Brooding?"

"Ah you know like usually that's what you describe an angry old person with a backstory that made them all like lonely and sad when originally they were a happy and nice person"

Malala nods trying to understand the girl, but also invested in anything about that is about Miguel.

"I haven't read a book in ages so it's like a character thing" Byte tries.

"Yeah! It's like that..."

"What's wrong?"

"Just remembering something, I used to write fanfiction"

Malala claps her hands seemingly finding it amusing as Byte signals the girl to continue "And?"

The anomaly girl looks slightly confused, what else was she supposed to say? "And that's all"

"That's all you remembered?"

"Yup, I used to write stuff like ship stuff that was a little canon divergent I think? I don't remember-"

Malala jumps onto the girl "Dont say that out loud again"

The girl looks at her and Byte whose expression was similarly as frightened as the Hijabi.

"But it-"

"Remember big Bear man?" The girl nods and lets Byte continue "Well he is rather....what's the word"

Malala awkwardly twidles with her headscarf "...Sensitive"

Byte nods "Yup that word, he's already worked up about you being here. I don't think he is getting much sleep so we need to just ban that word"

"Yup, banzo it" Malala adlibs on top of the girl.

Byte feels a lightbulb appear on her head "Why not we just talk about hobbies to try to get you to remember stuff about yourself so we can narrow your universe's location now?"

The anomaly girl gasps "You want to talk about my hobbies? Wow " She stays silent for a moment before saying "Wait universe?"

Somehow they've only found three things after three hours.

"So we narrowed down your universe with the little information you gave us about...Whale calling noises and the Lorax musical with the deleted song biggering"

"Hey, the noises whales make are cool and doesn't every universe have a deleted Lorax song?"

"Well, a couple but most of them use 'Biggering' in the musical number"

"But that's like the best song ever. Does my universe just suck?"

"Maybe" Byte shakes her head "We're getting sidetracked, is there anything else you remember?"

"Nope. Anyways, back to the Lorax-"

Miguel cusses something inaudible in Spanish when he overhears the conversation and calls Lylla "Did you do a scan on her yet?"

"Already did" He groans and signals her to continue "She showed no signs of memory loss or even anything developing like dementia"

He looks back at the scene, of the glitch he likes to call rambling to Byte about the amazing soundtrack that is 'Biggering'

"Lylla scan possible universes with minimal to no superheroes"

"Gotcha"

Jessica comes back from a mission thinking she can just report to Miguel that her mission went smoothly and go home, she always thinks that "You're telling me you just want to drop the girl to a random universe?"

"Ideally, no. But we need to then yes" He said, catching her up on the situation that happened while she was out.

She watches Miguel pace back and forth "Won't that affect the canon?"

"From the information I gathered from Malala and Byte who are getting along with her just fine. She says that Spiderman is fiction where she's from, from what she remembers at least. There were many but with her knowledge of her musical we managed to narrow down surprisingly three potential universes"

Jess nods at this information and watches the security footage to analyze how she got here in the first place until she notices something abnormal and zooms into the anomaly girl and rewinds the video.

She calls for Miguel and replays the footage, which he replies with "Dont bother I've rewatched that footage and analyzed all the portals"

"Please tell me you at least noticed this"

"Notice what?" Miguel has not had time to take an actual look in the mirror for a couple days due to a new anomaly from earth-1048, a video game anomaly, nothing new, but another headache.

Jess zooms into the anomaly girl for the rest of the footage "She isn't wearing a wrist band"

His eyes widen, she's right.

Since she's arrived here, she has never glitched.

Not even once.

Thats...impossible

"What do we do now" Jess says equally as distraught as him.

Miguel sends a quick text to Byte and gets an immediate reply then looks back at Jess "I don't know either, but Byte is running a few tests on her while she naps with her and I quote 'Enthusiastic consent'. Everyone was so shocked by her being a non-spiderperson and since she never glitched no one noticed"

Miguel takes a very slow exhale to think.

If she wasn't glitching then she can't be an anomaly.

Maybe that was a glitch on its own?

He notices Jessica scanning his face for a response, so he gives her one "Let's just put it to rest for now, since she isn't causing any trouble" He had stayed up monitoring the activity of the universes that involved Spiderman.

She nods her head, seemingly tired out for the day also, before she leaves a question pops up in her mind You said that you narrowed down her universe to three, that's a tight deduction. What musical was it? Hamilton?"

Miguel does not want to say the ridiculous cartoon name but says it anyways "......It was the Lorax"

Jessica almost snorts when she leaves the room leaving him alone.

He might as well get some sleep while he can.

After he knocks out for a thirteen-hour nap, Miguel looks at the anomaly girl and is reluctant on how to call her while she's converting with Malala and Byte so he just barges in and calls out "Girl"

The three girls turn to him with a confused expression.

"The one that's not Spiderman"

They all make an oh noise.

"Webby tie your shoe lasses you might trip" Says Byte.

"You remember your name?" Miguel is almost hopeful.

She placed her hand on her hip "Uhm no? I just named myself Webby since all of you have web designs on you"

Miguel is hopeless.

Anomaly girl- no Webby says with sass with her hands on her hips after poorly tying her shoe lasses like it's a fact that everyone should know but Miguel certainly does not seem to care enough.

He tosses her an empanada from the cafeteria which she catches, he notes her reflex "Eat something now because we're going"

"Goinsh?" She asks while chewing.

"Yes going" He cringes at her and gives her a tissue to wipe her face, she blows her nose instead "Just eat some motion sickness pills before we go"

Webby rolls her eyes but nods at the tall man as he still intimidated her, so she quickly finishes her food and gets some pills before meeting up with Jessica Drew, who had a small bump on her belly.

It was either bloating or that she was pregnant, Webby didn't want to ask but she thinks it was the after when Jessica held her stomach in a cradling motion.

Webby made sure she mentally remembered every single detail about this place so she could never forget it in her brain.

Jess looks at the girl whose eyes were becoming a little bugged out and red from how much she was forcing the open to take in the view.

"You know you can just take a picture right?"

She finally blinked her eyes in pain "Ouch, I would if I had a phone. It might have fallen when I was uh...Falling through the portal"

"I'll make sure we do a full sweep of the place to find it"

The girl's eyes widen and profusely thanks her hand as they walk "Thank you so much"

"Likewise, we can walk slower, just so you can get a good look at everything"

And that's exactly what they did, Webby is sure to talk about this to her friends (If she can remember them) about this.

Something catches her eyes in the distance, it was a boy whose entire border was changing as if he was made out of scrapbooks, his ears adorned with piercings.

As he played the guitar, every new strum seemed to change his color palate.

Webby couldn't help but stare

Jess also couldn't stop staring, mostly because she was telling him that his guitar was untuned.

He yelled back something about consistency and groaned when Jess told him to show the newbies around saying "I'm doing this because I like to see newbies, not because you told me to"

For a split moment, they both retain eye contact before Jess pulls her aside to go to Bytes lab because they needed to go.

Byte, Malala, and Sun Spider share a hug before Miguel calls for her and opens a portal, coincidently what she can assume emo punk was in the room bringing what she can assume is a newbie.

"Hobie what are you doing here, we're kinda busy" He says tiredly.

The guy who she assumed was Hobie just shrugs "You told me to show 'em newbies around, just gotta grab one on these and this-" They all were staring at him "Just imagine that 'm not here"

Miguel ignores him and offers Webby a hand to grab which she accepts reluctantly and waves goodbye to her short-term friends who waved back.

Once they reach the other universe Miguel readjusts his armband and looks for Webby to find her on the ground.

"Don't tell me you got sick again, I told you to take the medicine-"

But he dosent finish his sentence because Webby was glitching.

He wanted to help her up and call Lylla until she let out an excruciating scream like she's been stung by something and cradled her stomach. The pain was travelling all over her body as if she were electrocuted in the rain.

Webby doesn't know what's happening or what to feel other than the pain that surrounds her, she dosent even realize she isn't in control of her body and is slamming herself on the floornofnthe hard roof.

Miguel rushed to open a portal as her body was quickly becoming translucent.

The same type of translucent he's all too familiar with and grabs her to the portal.

She can't bare to open her eyes, her irises were stinging.

It was a bodily reaction, he wasted no time to grab her.

"That was quick-Oh God" Jess frantically calls for help

Webby thinks breathing slowly stabilizes because her body isn't burning , but not relaxing.

"Get the medic, now" Webby thinks the scary bear yells something.

Her eyes close, and finally, her body stops hurting when a mask is placed over her head as the coloured lights she thinks she sees now dissappear as her consciousness.

"What exactly happened out there"

"I.." He rubs his temples "Don't know"

Jess looks over to Webbie's vitals as Byte observes them carefully and Malala watches her from a distance.

Jess hasn't known Webbie for a long time but the gas mask on her face irks her so she tries one more time "Miguel, what happened out there"

"She stopped glitching only when we came back but was glitching hard when she got to the other universe, but not like normal" He looks at Jess's shocked face knowing Miguel spoke from experience as he continued his sentence.

"It was like her body was collapsing into herself"

HI AUTHOR HERE, this isn't my first fanfic but I haven't really written in this type of format (Also I'm bilingual so my English might be not epic) so it might be wonkey (I write mostly self-loathing type of things) I might or might now make this whole thing int a mini series of 6 chapters. ALSO I JUST GOT A JOB?! So if I do make it into a miniseries plz be patient because the 10 hour shift is no joke

#hobie brown x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #hobie brown #miguel o'hara

223 notes · View notes

notebooks-and-laptops · 7 months

Text

I'm thinking about the Andraste cult "the disciples of Andraste" who believe that Andraste is now reborn as a dragon and I honestly have so many questions.

According to this codex they're all completely mad because of "inbreeding" by the time we reach them in DAO, but we actually know surprisingly little about them other than the fact that a) they at some point turned away from worshipping the ashes to worshipping the dragon which got them locked out of the inner sanctuary and the gauntlet, b) they looked after the dragons young and eggs and the dragon and her children never attacked them but instead let them drink dragons blood to become revers d) they distrust outsiders and c) their chantry officials are male much like Tevinter but unlike Orlais.

It's implied that the village possibly practices human sacrifice in DAO, although the exact reasons are unspecified (to feed the dragon? Are their mages blood mages? Why? I have questions!!!) And it's also possibly they were just sacrifing outsiders (the knights of Redcliffe) who managed to find their village? Other than that, there is little to learn by walking through the original haven.

Nothing much more is revealed by the series of quests you can do on the wartable about Haven in Inquisition either (much to my own disappointment). They point to the fact that the cave systems and the temple were built pre-andraste, but they kind of trail off in a very unsatisfactory manner regardless of which agent you pick to complete them.

We also have Tamar who was imprisoned by the inquisition and then began to fight for them to secure her freedom. She has some very interesting dialogue:

"Your Chantry goes belly up, the Inquisition steps in. Always something to keep the same people in power."

"The gilded Chantry says only one truth exists. And its servants lie, steal, kill to make it so."

This reads almost identical to what I would imagine the Dalish might say; and cast the cult in a very different light to "inbreeded mad men". From these quotes and other context we get the idea that she belonged to a group who secluded themselves and kept their own traditions away from regular society, and so her people were slaughtered to preserve the chantrys "truth" and deny her own. Even with the dragon gone (possibly dead) she still believes in her cults traditions and is faithful!!!! (Let me talk to her more PLEAEE.) But regardless, this is about as sympathetic as the games really get towards this cult.

So....what were they? I'm so facinated by these guys.

Because like. They clearly have different ideas about magic, ideas possibly handed down from Andraste herself? Or ideas that developed later? Regardless they have many mages in their group and there isn't any evidence those mages are restricted in any way. If anything their mages are sent to do important things like be the main religious leaders or to impersonate Wylen. Their ideas might honestly be closer to the Avvar which would make some sense geographically (did they have contact with the Avvar? Did they trade with them? Farming would have been hard in their snowy mountains as we know from needing supply routes to Skyhold/Haven in DAI so other than hunting, did they have contact with these groups or not?)

And I have MORE questions!!! Did they have similar religious holidays to regular Andrastism? How did they see Andrastes death most pre and post the arrival of her reborn dragon self? Did their belief in reincarnation spread beyond the dragon (to people as well) or was it something special that had only happened to Andraste? Did they have any religious texts that were important - maybe oral history was particularly favoured in this group like with the Dalish? If so, any oral history dating back to Andraste would have died out when the cult itself did.

I want to anthropologically study these people so bad and like learn everything there is to know but unfortunately they are fictional and in a game and bioware doesn't seem to have any plans to develop them so :/

#dao #dai #dragon age

113 notes · View notes

smiting-finger · 11 months

Text

[Director’s Commentary] a harmony between qin and se

As promised (to like two interested people lol), here’s my commentary to accompany a harmony between qin and se, some of which has been retrieved from discussions in the AO3 comments section.

CHAPTER 1

This being Wei Ying’s story, the first chapter is entirely an introduction to her. I’ll let the text mostly speak for itself, but some additional thoughts:

She is, first and foremost, a very unreliable narrator when it comes to herself.

Despite what she says, as a direct equivalent to “number 4 most eligible bachelor in the Jianghu”, she is actually considered to be a solid choice for a daughter-in-law (mostly because of how well she’s managed to hide all her quirks from the public eye). She also has more than one young male admirer because she is, in fact, an attractive lady The main thing working against her is the circumstances of her birth and the related lack of connections/assets.

Auntie Yu and Uncle Jiang have received a few overtures from interested parties already, but they’re still using the excuse of “Eldest daughter must be married out first” while they figure out the quality of offer they can settle for (which admittedly does include consideration of the potential benefits to the Jiang family).

Her embroidery is fine, if you ignore the fact that she’s constantly embroidering unconventional patterns: Jiang Cheng has most certainly received more than one troll hebao, and there have also been many an embroidered flower or cloud pattern that bears a suspicious resemblance to something outrageous (no penises because Wei Ying is a Proper and Good Girl and has never seen one until the bedroom books, but almost certainly an unflattering caricature of Jin Zixuan’s face, and the occasional rude Chinese character - always with plausible deniability, of course).

Broadmindedness is for women who have become disillusioned with the mortal coil. Which is to say: Nuns. She takes another bite of meat: I’m not sure if I was right in assuming that it was common knowledge that Buddhist nuns are vegetarian, but if I wasn’t - Wei Ying is definitely Making a Statement here. (And also making a secondary reference to the Chinese use of "vegetarian" to mean someone who is easily bullied/taken advantage of, which Wei Ying is most certainly not.)

Girls of the era were sometimes educated at home by private tutors, and were also often educated by their older brothers.

We know that Wei Ying had a private tutor (whom she shared with Nie Huaisang), but I also think Jiang Cheng would have had an influence on her too, despite technically being younger.

Being afforded a much more formal and comprehensive education (despite being perhaps less suited for it), he would have shared all of his books and learnings with Wei Ying, and that is why she so often references martial arts/military writings and ideas (much more so than the Jiang Yanli of this universe would, being older) - a reflection of Jiang Cheng’s interests and their relationship as more-or-less-same-age-peers within a gendered family hierarchy.

On Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue, it bears saying that their upbringing and situation in life here is just as unconventional as Wei Ying’s, if not more so.

Whereas in the earlier Tang Dynasty, women often openly ran their own businesses, Song Dynasty society had become more restrictive in relation to women’s freedoms, so that had become a much rarer occurrence.

My rationale for Nie Mingjue bucking the trend is that her mother was a capable woman with no tolerance for harem politics, and so ruled the Nie household with an iron fist. When her health begins to decline, instead of risking the wellbeing of her household and single di daughter on the goodwill of the next-ranked concubine, she simply starts passing responsibilities directly to Nie Mingjue, who proves capable enough that her father starts giving her business-related tasks as well.

By the time Madam Nie dies, Nie Mingjue is acting mistress of the house and there is no room to argue that any of the responsibilities should be taken from her.

Nie Mingjue being the only child in the entire household, her father also thinks it makes sense to involve her in the family business, and he starts preparing to find a man to ru zhui (入贅) marry into their family, thanks to the (universal?) principle that wealthy people can largely afford to do whatever they want.

Then Nie Huaisang is born and her concubine mother dies in childbirth. Nie Mingjue, having inherited her mother’s distaste for harem politics and distrust for her father’s concubines, simply takes Nie Huaisang into her own courtyard and sees to her upbringing herself.

And then their father dies, Lan Xichen takes the opportunity to propose marriage to Nie Mingjue (ostensibly as an elegant way to lend her a man’s countenance and legal authority to run her business, but the successive pregnancies speak for themselves), Nie Mingjue accepts and then decides that the new Nie family heir will be Nie Huaisang and there is no one around to stop her.

There’s definitely social disapproval (e.g. Madam Jin’s “I know she’s always done things differently” in Ch 3), but not enough to matter. Because wealthy people can afford to do whatever they want..

Enter Lan Zhan (in spirit):

Some of the original professions I considered for him were physician and herbalist, but the thought of doing period-accurate traditional Chinese medicine research ended that dream within 2.5 seconds.

In today’s terms I see him as demisexual, but in Song Dynasty mindset, there is no “sexuality”; there is “stuff that I like” and “stuff that I gotta do”. So he’s fully committed to making it work for the sake of his duty to the family, but also his responsibility to provide his wife with a decent quality of life. (And he is particularly sensitive to the latter, having witnessed his mother’s experience.)

While he'd initially hoped to follow in his Uncle's footsteps and stay single for life, now that marriage is unavoidable, his attitude towards it is very similar to Wei Ying’s, in being “That's life, we gotta make the best of it.”

He doesn’t fully appreciate the extent of the problem, but:

To-date, he has had very minimal interaction with any sort of same-age friend or peer.

His brother does most if not all of his emotional processing for him, mostly by talking him through his thoughts and feelings. This started as the very-Chinese “explain to your child after every situation how courtesy and social mores preserve everyone’s feelings and Face”, and just … never stopped. Probably because Lan Zhan didn’t have peer-interaction to do the rest of the emotional educating.

CHAPTER 2

Again, while Wei Ying speaks for herself, some general notes:

The grip of his hand in hers is strong, if a little damp. Which means that her husband is either nervous or also sweating a river in three layers of robes: He is not nervous, only dutiful. It is 100% due to the layers of robes and the hot, hot sun.

Red wedding banners … which are disappointingly standard, with nary a tea pun in sight: When their sons get married in the distant future, there are SO MANY tea puns.

Her groom, she notes, has wiped his hand at some point. Which means that he’s either a thoughtful man, or a fastidious one. Or a man who has thoughtful and fastidious servants: Lan Zhan is absolutely the thoughtful and fastidious one.

“Why does the groom look so grim?” someone asks from somewhere to her right. “Maybe he’s been forced into the marriage,” comes the answer: That is just Lan Zhan’s face, he bears no particular resentment towards the arrangement of the marriage. He trusts that his uncle has made the best decision possible under the circumstances and certainly he thinks that it’s better than either of the other options.

Lan Zhan has never had wine before, so despite knowing that the Lan family doesn’t drink, he doesn’t actually know why. This is part of the reason why he drinks the toast (the other part being the social pressure that Wei Ying successfully employs).

When they have children, there are some that inherit the Lan constitution, and others who can drink two whole cups before also succumbing to the Lan constitution. Wei Ying is very sad about this, but concedes that they do come by it honestly.

Lan Zhan’s wedding night thoughts:

Not sure if it A) was a real thing, B) is a modern-sensibilities thing (like many Cdrama leads being committed to one wife), or C) is a "Complying with TV Codes Thing", but I've seen/read quite a few stories now where the husband chooses not to push for wedding night consummation because his new wife will be scared, stressed, tired, etc. This means that the couple spends a bit of time co-sleeping and getting used to each other before doing anything. I see Lan Zhan starting out along those lines, and his consideration would have been much appreciated if his wife had been someone like Jiang Yanli. Unfortunately it is 100% wasted on Wei Ying.

So he walks into the room with the noblest of intentions, is confronted with the shock of Wei Ying, and PANICS:

First there are the Lan vs Jiang family cultural differences, i.e.

The "We Are Always Decorous" Lan family vs the "Decorum when in public, at-home manners very different" Jiang family

Lan "I will only very gently try to negotiate your boundaries" Xichen vs ...Jiang Cheng/Yanli/Auntie Yu/Uncle Jiang, who are personal-boundary-chaotics in very different ways

Second, in terms of Lan Zhan’s general social experience:

He has one (1) friend, who is his brother and who is very emotionally considerate.

He has not interacted with a woman in an intimate/domestic setting since the death of his mother (excluding servants, but that’s different). His experience with women is probably limited to the branch family aunties, and maybe daughters of their social circle who he sees for two seconds from across the room, when everyone is on their best behaviour, and they never speak.

He has never interacted with any person alive like Wei Ying in any setting. She called him PRETTY and TO HIS FACE, she chases people, she has contraband goods, she has POCKETS-

Third, there is the additional layer of shock provided by the expectations Lan Zhan had of what “a new wife” would be like, which Wei Ying is … not.

She was going to be a shy, retiring maiden (I think the “unkidnappable” fact just did not compute and he just mentally shelved it).

And unlike Wei Ying, who had the whole breadth of her human experience as “possible range for how much of a fucking weirdo my husband might be”, it never occurs to Lan Zhan to be curious about her because his image of his future wife is pretty much a dress wearing a face and it hasn’t really occurred to him that she might have any personality - or UNREPRESSED personality - beyond her role and his obligations towards her.

He had this idea of how he was going to be a Dutiful Husband (making sure his wife doesn't go hungry on the wedding night, making sure that her maidenly sensibilities are respected in negotiating bedroom activities, making sure that she maintains a comfortable position in the household, making sure that she gets the dishes she likes to eat even if he doesn't eat them).

Then they were gonna treat each other "with the respect accorded to honoured guests" (another Ye Olde Chinese Thing), and eventually become a peaceful, comfortable couple.

Almost none of it is going in the way that he'd planned and he doesn't have a Plan B because he DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE COULD BE LIKE THIS.

And now HIS MAIDENLY SENSIBILITIES ARE BEING OFFENDED-

In regards to Lan Zhan’s Filial Procreative Duty:

It's not that he's unaware of it, but there's not as much urgency for him. He doesn't need a son to solidify his position in the household, his own brother has two sons already so the line isn't in danger and he can always adopt the second nephew as his heir, he knows that WY is only 17 whereas the average age of marriage at the time (according to the english-language internet) was 18-20 for women.

He does intend to try for a child with her eventually (for her sake), but HE JUST REALLY WANTS TO START BY BEING FRIENDS FIRST (*/ω＼*)

CHAPTER 3

On Lan Zhan’s side:

It goes without saying that after Lan Zhan flees his bedroom on the morning after the wedding, he heads straight to his brother for his regular dose of emotional processing.

Lan Xichen spends the entire conversation highly amused and trying to keep it hidden under a suitably sympathetic expression.

And then he gently-but-firmly forces Lan Zhan to go home, which Lan Zhan does mutinously

Upon their arrival home, Lan Zhan only stops briefly in his study before heading straight back out on business (or, as Wei Ying half-suspects: “business”): It is most certainly “business”. Lan Zhan is finding any excuse to avoid her because he does not know how to deal with her and he’s a little bit afraid of her (and the danger she poses to his chastity).

Lan Zhan says nothing to Lan Qiren because it is all too mortifying.

Lan Qiren, who still seems to vaguely disapprove of her, despite being the one to agree to this marriage in the first place: While he hears no specifics, Lan Qiren’s propriety-related spidey-senses are tingling nevertheless, and so he starts to observe Wei Ying with extreme suspicion.

Lan Xichen also finds this highly amusing.

Hence Wei Ying noticing that “There’s something about the curve of his eyes that means he always looks mildly amused…Wei Ying is not sure whether this is how Lan Xichen presents generally, or if it is something specific to her.“

(It’s definitely specific to her. He thinks she’s great for his brother and therefore great in general)

Otherwise, Lan Zhan actually does like Wei Ying, despite all of the shocking things about her (He just doesn’t know that this is what he’s feeling, since he’s never felt this way before :’D).

Also maybe he’s used to the people he likes expressing their affection for him via some level of teasing (his mother, to a lesser level his brother).

Lan Zhan is watching Wei Ying as closely as she’s watching him (or even more so) - enough to know that she’s smart, and that there’s more to her than the incompetent wife image she’s projecting (which is why he’s not interfering … beyond a certain extent).

Other notes:

Wei Ying herself is so fully focused on the branch family aunties and how far she needs to escalate to get them to make a move that she probably hasn't given two thoughts to thing else. So there's almost certainly a parallel Mianmian POV to this story that's filled with constant nail-biting about what everyone else thinks of her mistress and the possibility of Wei Ying escalating so hard that they won't be able to fully reverse the damage afterwards.

Secret tunnel + secret storage room: Wei Ying absolutely finds 193847548495 future uses for these after this story is done.

Babymaking is 100% a genuinely high-key concern for Wei Ying, since producing Lan Zhan’s heir is how she secures lifetime economic/social/etc security for herself (that said it is not the MOST urgent issue at this stage, since she first needs to ensure that there is a safe environment to bring the baby into).

(I am high-key channelling "The Promotion Record of a Crown Princess" and "Greetings Ninth Uncle", here. Dowager is very much the life goal for All Women - when it's not Revenge - as far as my own shameful background in consuming Chinese historical romances is concerned.)

In terms of inheritance (keeping in mind that I am far from an expert, and my main source is a lot of historical Cdramas and Cnovels):

There was some amount of flexibility in when to formally split a family and therefore its shared resources:

If there are enough resources to support a split, then a patriarch dying is a good opportunity for brothers to go their own ways without any negative social implications.

If there's a big enough falling out between brothers or between fathers and sons, then it might happen even while Dad's still around.

If you're collectively funding a scholar to get into government and bring a valuable political connection to the family, then maybe you stay together even after Dad is gone.

And the division of property (including property in common) wasn't automatically an "eldest son takes all" situation either.

For the Lan brothers in this story:

The formal economic rational for them not splitting the business yet is that they need the business to fund a government career (Lan Qiren and Lan-papa were intending to maintain a similar arrangement before Lan-papa prematurely died)

But the actual reason is probably Lan brotherly love :'>

The branch families inherited other things, or maybe a different branch of the business when Great-grandpapa Lan died, but then they fucked it! and had to come crawling back to Lan-papa for a lifeline.

Wei Ying knows enough going in (from Nie Huaisang and general gossip) that whenever the brothers finally split (maybe after proxy-dad Lan Qiren dies), Lan Zhan is walking away with a handsome part of the business. Now that she's seen them in close quarters, she knows that Lan Xichen might even cede all of it, at the end of a soppy and embarrassing "no, you!"-"no, you!" fight between the brothers

Rivalled only by the parallel fight between the Nie sisters about whose kids inherit the restaurant empire, and then Nie Huaisang declares her intention to stay a spinster and adopt Nie Mingjue's second son as the Nie heir and then it's chaos.

Or maybe they can grow a tea empire and someone’s children can stay in Lin An and someone else’s children can go establish dominance over a different city.

CHAPTER 4

Lan Zhan’s side of things is coming through more clearly in the text now (I hope), but some notes nevertheless:

Then, she sends some to her husband’s study to serve him as a mid-afternoon snack, and to remind him of her continued existence: By this point, Lan Zhan has realised that he like-likes Wei Ying, so he’s very much aware of her continued existence already.

This gesture on her part seeds a hope that she might at least be receptive to his overtures, if she doesn’t yet feel the same way about him, and the pork-and-ginger-with-extra-ginger dumplings are him trying to take what he thinks is their courtship forward (“In thanks for the pastries … They were delicious.”).

Growing up with Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen and no other friends, it never occurs to him that Wei Ying might not be fluent in the Lan communication method of “indirect statements from which the audience correctly infers implied meanings”.

That the pastries turn out to be for a plot is a small bump in the road that is overcome by all of the “just for you” foods Wei Ying overcompensates with when he finds out.

“Do you…Never mind”: Lan Zhan would never say ‘DO U LIKE ME’, but this is him starting an overture that is (slightly) more direct and then not knowing how to continue and fleeing the scene.

Wei Ying modestly yields to her husband’s leadership, and that is why they spend the evening stopping in front of every opera singer, acrobat or other street performer who crosses their path: Young Master Lan Zhan conducting a thorough study on “what my wife likes”.

The direct consequence of this outing (as mentioned in Ch 5) that Wei Ying is Seen to have Lan Zhan’s esteem is also very much intentional on his part, because Lan Zhan is also thoughtful and efficient like that.

Other notes:

Since making lotus seed paste is a tedious, thankless task that normal families pay other people to do: My love-hate letter to lotus seed paste. I mostly know about the process for making it because I briefly considered making it myself during the first COVID lockdown. This desire lasted approximately 20 seconds into the first instructional youtube video I watched. But it is still delicious.

They pass yet another group of burly, scruffy men - all of whom are carrying an array of mismatched, chipped and obviously-scavenged weapons: foreshadowing for Wei Ying’s realisation in Ch 8, lol.

CHAPTER 5

Notes on Lan Xichen’s Moon-Viewing Party:

She can at least cow them into submission with Auntie Yu's beady-eyed stare: This is far from the only thing that Wei Ying has picked up from Auntie Yu. If anyone were ever to mention how like a real mother-and-daughter pair they can be sometimes, they would both be extremely appalled.

Lan Zhan has been watching Wei Ying since their arrival at his brother’s house to make sure that no one wrongs his wife (though with a credible amount of discretion, so no one else has picked up on anything beyond the boundaries of what is socially acceptable for a besotted husband). So while she has been busy noticing things going wrong, he has noticed her noticing things going wrong, and as soon as she starts taking action, he moves in to support her.

“Xiao Ping can go.” is the result of Lan Zhan finally finding an opportunity to step in after an extended period of patient waiting.

“Guanren,” she gasps in surprise: The possessive part of Lan Zhan (which is most of him) very much likes it when Wei Ying calls him that.

Lan Zhan discovers this night that he has a massive “bae helping other people” kink, and an equally massive competence kink.

At some point, Lan Zhan goes to his brother for advice on how to court his wife beyond his current “giving her things she likes” strategy, and receives the suggestion that maybe he should show her the things he’s good at too.

This births the “chrysanthemum wine + qin-playing” plan.

Continuing so late into the night that they fall asleep together is not an original part of this plan, but Wei Ying doesn’t seem upset by it and Lan Zhan is not one to retreat when he can advance, so it’s big wins all around.

Worth noting that while Lan Zhan does like his early bedtime in general, his particular insistence on xu shi (as noted by Wei Ying in re: “Her husband has revealed himself to be surprisingly fastidious about the strangest things as of late”) is not actually for health/moral habit reasons.

It also births the “Wei Ying [stumbling] across him in mid-song at an unusually high frequency” plan (which slightly predates the “chrysanthemum wine + qin-playing” plan).

And it is also why ultimate wingman Lan Xichen makes sure to mention poetry and Lan Zhan’s proficiency at it when he visits. It is very much not the only time he does something like this.

Other notes:

Which makes it even funnier that Lan Qiren so very obviously dislikes her: He does not, in fact, dislike her.

But he is experiencing trauma flashbacks from his interactions with Wei Ying’s mother back in ye day (/touches his beard protectively).

He is also burning with the passionate drive created by finally meeting a worthy challenge.

Every time one of his texts comes back annotated, he probably does the Tom-Hanks-Laptop meme of rubbing his hands and wiggling his fingers in preparation for writing his rebuttal. Except instead of "happy", his expression is "happily seething".

It bodes well for her ability to educate his nephew's children before they begin their formal education - if only he can get her to learn restraint and reform her character first!

So he is determined to succeed in fixing this one, this time! (He won’t).

Lan Xichen notices his uncle putting almost more energy into educating Wei Ying than his actual students and is highly amused.

Over time, Lan Qiren notices that verbally sparring with Wei Ying on various topics has improved the quality of his corresponding Academy lessons, and that he sometimes even discusses her takes on texts. This mildly infuriates him, especially when he receives expressions of admiration from students and parents for the depth of his scholarship and teaching.

Sometimes the result is that Lan Zhan gets a sudden and unexpected lecture on controlling/educating his wife and neither he nor Wei Ying can identify what she’s done to deserve it.

(Sometimes this is further complicated by the fact that she has committed too many potential affronts to pick just one.)

Uncoded notes have already been conclusively proven to be a terrible idea, and Wei Ying and Nie Huaisang do not already have an established code (Wei Ying cannot believe that they do not already have an established code; in reflection, it truly is an unforgivable oversight): They establish a code after everything in this story is finished, but they use it so infrequently that they keep forgetting it.

She would have loved to have used the opportunity to discuss Meng Yao instead, but when Wei Ying had mentioned her name, Nie Huaisang had simply hummed noncommittally and made no move to add anything further: Nie Huaisang’s initial reason for not involving Wei Ying in her own counterscheming against Meng Yao/Jin Guangshan is that Wei Ying has enough to deal with in re: the branch aunties and much fewer resources to draw on. This turns into “Wei Ying had better save her energy to focus on growing some emotional understanding of herself and her husband”, because that situation is dire. And then Meng Yao and Jin Guangshan escalate so far that it turns into “this is my personal grievance and requires my personal vengeance, and I will not risk having my bloodthirst restrained”.

Uncle Jiang had stopped him in the street and expressed his wife and daughter’s desire to see Wei Ying: A brief apology to Jiang Yanli who features very minimally in this story because while Wei Ying visits her a lot, she is also taking pains to stop her beloved sister from unnecessarily worrying about her by not mentioning anything serious at all and painting a very rosy picture of her married life where she “only has your run-of-the-mill teething problems, hardly worth talking about, except could you do me this one favour and send this wad of joss paper over to my residence in your name?”.

Jiang Yanli politely keeps up her end of the social fiction but is, in fact, still worrying. She deals with this by making and sending over a lot of nourishing food.

Wei Ying pulls the bundle out from a drawer and is struck by a sudden and completely uncharacteristic wave of self-doubt. This is odd and completely inexplicable - she’d been so confident in the quality of her gift only a shichen prior; she has no idea why she feels so nervous about it now: This is the point at which any other person might notice that their feelings for their husband run deeper than they’d previously thought (if they hadn’t already realised at many points before this), but Wei Ying is special. Lan Zhan, unfortunately, manages to pick up on the “any other person” part, but not the “Wei Ying is special” part.

There’s a sudden clatter, followed by Xiao Ping swearing and they startle apart: This is deliberate on Xiao Ping’s part. There are branch spies watching!

On Scheming Abilities:

Nie Mingjue, as the eldest di-daughter of a wealthy household who has only ever been second to her parents in terms of authority, has never needed to scheme in her life, and is used to dealing with everything straightforwardly. After she marries, Lan Xichen doesn’t have concubines and Nie Mingjue is too wealthy/powerful for the Lan relatives to otherwise interfere with her, so she never has to change (and is therefore completely unprepared for Meng Yao).

Similarly, Lan Xichen has zero scheming skills (although he will need to acquire some to survive in government, probably)

Lan Zhan has acquired more skills than his brother, by way of greater involvement in the family business and having to deal with the branch families. His involvement with Wei Ying, however, is fast teaching him that he is also very much a novice.

Nie Huaisang, a shu-daughter (although I never managed to explicitly say that anywhere in the text) and Wei Ying, a servant-born foster daughter, have acquired scheming skills due to the precariousness of those positions in life. These include:

Being targeted by and winning power games against people within the household

For Nie Huaisang, perhaps her father’s concubines or the servants loyal to them - either as a way to get to Nie Mingjue, or just directly.

For Wei Ying, maybe some of Madam Yu’s close maids feel aggrieved on their mistress’s behalf, maybe some of the servants resent Wei Ying for having a better position despite being equal to them in terms of birth.

Winning power games against people in their social circles who look down on them (Nie Huaisang for being a shu daughter, Wei Ying for being servant-born).

Needing to scheme their way out of feminine hooligan-related scrapes from their youth, of which there were many.

CHAPTER 6

Can’t find much to say about this chapter. Just that:

Treating Wei Ying to almost half a shichen of her own lecture on the importance of rewarding loyalty to old servants: Wei Ying remembers this with great clarity during the confrontation and associated fall-out (“Loyal people are difficult to come by; I would hate to deprive them of such a precious resource.”).

Miss Cang had been diligently using those accomplishments to slowly and subtly appeal to the similarly-accomplished Lan Zhan not one year ago: On the other hand, Lan Zhan could not pick her out of a lineup if his life depended on it. Wei Ying asks him after the first time she and Miss Cang have a run-in and receives a very genuine response of “???” “????????????” She chooses not to mention that to Miss Cang either.

CHAPTER 7

Lan Zhan received a bit of abuse in the comments of this chapter (:’D), which came as a bit of a surprise to me. I suppose I have the benefit of clearly plotting out my son’s perspective for my own understanding of the story, and Wei Ying’s perspective limits the ways in which his side of the story can be conveyed, so that’s what I’ll address.

Lan Zhan is not angry, his feelings are hurt.

He's invested 110% in this relationship and he'd thought Wei Ying felt the same until she hit him with the joke about divorce, and now it's like "she's built herself an exit strategy, is standing with one foot out the door and none of my feelings or actions-to-date have mattered enough to outweigh that".

For any Legend of Minglan viewers, the parallel with Gu Tingye’s “You’re leaving yourself an escape route!!” is very much intentional.

You can see a bit of this hinted at in Lan Zhan’s “You don’t even know”, which indicates that all of Wei Ying’s theories on what she has done are wrong.

While Lan Zhan is particularly sensitive about divorce for some understandable mother-related reasons (which means that there's an additional "how could she think that of me? does she know me at all?" in there), he has an additional contextual defence: most women would not joke about divorce, at least before the marital relationship is solid enough that everyone knows it’s obviously a joke.

Meanwhile, Wei Ying has thrown the joke out there on the back of some solid evidence that she has some real viable alternatives for supporting herself, so for all Lan Zhan knows, she might actually go.

Given his limited emotional-management tools, Lan Zhan is working it out in the best way he knows how:

Firstly going to see his brother

Secondly by hiding away and nursing his wounds while he awkwardly tries to process his feelings, calms down, takes stock of the situation and decides what he wants to do about it.

He can't actually come out and say "I'M UPSET BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ME!", hence: making his brother promise not to tell her, and his brother agreeing because lol yes that's quite embarrassing.

So we can see in: “But her efforts are only met with her brother-in-law - while smiling in a way that seems as if he’s laughing at her even more than usual - simply telling her not to worry, and that his brother’s anger will doubtlessly burn itself out any day now“ that:

Firstly, the problem is something that Lan Xichen can be amused about. We’ve already mentioned the embarrassment factor, but beyond that, the nature of the problem is not that serious. Lan Zhan in the throes of heartbreak is melodramatically thinking “SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME”, but Lan Xichen is astute enough to suspect that Wei Ying is maybe a bit emotionally dense, and is probably not as unmoved as all that.

Secondly, Lan Xichen recognises that the problem is something that Lan Zhan needs space to work through himself, and that there’s nothing to be done on Wei Ying’s side.

Mianmian’s “refusal to tell Wei Ying” is explained in Ch 8, but it’s worth noting here that loyal maidservant Mianmian would never refuse to tell Wei Ying something important. What actually happens of course is that Mianmian keeps insisting that Lan Zhan is in love with Wei Ying, and Wei Ying keeps refusing to believe it and then she finally says “Fine! Don’t tell me then!” and Mianmian is like /o\

Susu genuinely doesn’t know though, lol. She’s a bit younger, not as emotionally mature.

Nie Mingjue also genuinely doesn’t know (Lan Xichen hasn’t told her because he knows she’d just call Lan Zhan an idiot to his face).

Nie Huaisang does know, but after hearing about Mianmian’s valiant attempts, she decides it would be better to take a more slowly-slowly angle and show Wei Ying how much Lan Zhan likes her instead. With mixed results.

Even given all the above, Lan Zhan is very much invested in protecting Wei Ying’s public standing and reputation:

We can see this in his insistence that she stays at home, so she doesn’t become a convenient target or sacrificial fall-guy during the family proceedings.

Nie Mingjue further explains his fears in her conversation with Wei Ying about the Lan elders and their treatment of Lan Zhan’s mother vs herself.

We can also see it in “While he does not ignore her, precisely, Lan Zhan also never lingers in her company a moment longer than strict decorum would require”: Lan Zhan is still demonstrating to the servants and the public that, at the very least, her position as his wife should be respected and all related benefits afforded to her.

And of course he’s still sleeping in their bedroom.

Both the Lan brothers underestimate the emotional impact that this will have on Wei Ying, because neither of them has correctly understood how emotionally invested she is or how emotionally invested she realises she is. (In their defence: neither has she.)

This assumption is shored up by the way that she stays pretty upbeat and flippant, especially in the way she goes about trying to make amends. Not yet understanding her, they take this to mean that she’s feeling sorry and a little awkward, but otherwise is unaffected.

Lan Zhan’s points of realisation that he's hurt her are "Forgive me anyway - I can't bear it" and finding her curled up in bed. “I have an engagement” is true, but it is also him needing some space to process this new knowledge. At this point he:

half-caves to the decision that he'll just love her anyway and not give her any excuse to leave, and

half-comes to the realisation that actually, maybe Wei Ying really doesn't know about his feelings or her own, so he's going to need to recalibrate.

There were a few comments along the lines of “this could have been resolved through direct communication”, and while that’s true to some extent, I feel like direct communication in the context of relationships and feelings is a very modern-Western value that doesn’t necessarily have the same application here.

I do fully accept that despite its setting, this is a modern story, for a modern audience. But even so I think the non-modern setting and context (in addition to Lan Zhan’s particular personal situation) make it a little unfair to blame Lan Zhan for not starting a heart-to-heart outpouring of feelings. (Though of course this is my personal opinion.)

Even in my modern-but-still-Asian family, there’s a much stronger culture of being expected to read unspoken meaning from social situations, and in turn being able to expect that other people do the same. The cultural conflict is, as Jay Chou once sang in the song “Cliff of Love” (lololololol): You say that I am like a child, delighting in always leaving you guessing. I say that you’re the one who is like a child, always needing me to spell things out for you.

Semi-relatedly, I think there’s a “child of asian parents” meme about your parents apologising by bringing sliced fruit to you instead of saying anything with words. I have imputed this to Wei Ying and Lan Zhan.

In very general terms, I would also say that we as a Chinese family have a much weaker culture of “you did this thing that violates my boundaries, I will tell you and expect you to change your behaviour” and a much stronger culture of “you did this thing to violate my boundaries, I must manage myself so that unacceptable boundary violations do not happen in future”. I have on some level imputed this to Lan Zhan.

There is also a much stronger culture of avoiding things that are embarrassing (as the person who might be embarrassed, as the person who might cause someone else to be embarrassed, and as a bystander who might worsen the embarrassment by bearing witness). There’s a lot of “not mentioning and just moving past these things by unspoken agreement”. I have on some level imputed this to … everyone in this story.

The entire story, but this sex scene in particular, have been my manifesto on My Beef with Historical CNovels (which I recognise is sometimes about censorship and not the authors’ artistic vision). In terms of the sex scene this includes, but is not limited to:

Only the dudes or top dudes being horny or up for it (or being the 80 in an 80/20 split in who is horny/up for it)!

The relative passivity of ladies/bottom dudes in bed!

JADE STICKS (didn’t manage to get a reference to CHERRY NIPPLES in, but THOSE TOO)!

Lack of preparation and the resultant pain!

The lady/bottom “not being able to get out of bed for 3 days afterwards”!

The fun relationship tension/dynamics disappearing after a pivotal point where the couple variously gets together/gets married/has sex!

CHAPTER 8

Without guidance from questions in the comments, some general notes:

“It matters not,” he murmurs when they break apart: This is Lan Zhan both recognising that Wei Ying is not mentally/emotionally ready to believe the actual answer, and also genuinely meaning that it doesn’t matter anymore.

It’s also probably quite obvious right now that this Lan Zhan knows he’s not very verbally demonstrative and so he compensates with physical affection instead.

This also means that he’s very cuddly with their children when they’re born, and 100% takes A-Yuan everywhere with him, including on business.

While Lan Zhan directs her from his place behind her, seated with his chest pressed flush against her back: Lan Zhan would have been one of those children who is independent and standoffish in public, but a total cuddlebug with his mum in private. And so in addition to the above, the result of being touch-starved for over a decade following his mother’s death means that he fuses himself to Wei Ying at every (private) opportunity. It’s not that he doesn’t touch her in public, but it’s all very hand-on-elbow proper and decorous - until the moment they cross into a place with any amount of privacy and then FWOOM.

Wei Ying has wondered more than once whether she might one day bully Lan Zhan into sitting in the circle of her arm, while she appreciates fine wine as the ancestors intended: It definitely happens, and takes minimal-to-none bullying.

If her friend is suspicious enough of Meng Yao to interfere in her sister’s household, limit Meng Yao’s access to Nie Mingjue and attack Meng Yao’s father, then why has she done nothing to Meng Yao herself?: Nie Huaisang started out leaving Meng Yao every opportunity to come clean about what Jin Guangshan wanted her to do. If Meng Yao had had a change of heart and done this at any point while her disruptions to the household were still minor, Nie Huaisang would have happily worked with her to get her due from the Jin family (and then relocated her to somewhere suitably removed from Lan Xichen). But then Meng Yao proves that she is willing to completely sell Nie Mingjue out for her own gain, and now Nie Huaisang is giving her enough rope to hang herself.

And so Wei Ying spends the latter part of the evening half-lying on Lan Zhan’s bare chest: This behaviour begins as the result of Wei Ying misunderstanding something she hears (probably from Uncle Jiang’s men) about post-nut clarity. But it is in Lan Zhan’s interests to encourage it, and it doesn’t actually impede the thought process, so it continues.

“I didn’t mean to,” Nie Huaisang says in a small voice, to no one in particular: Going to leave this open as to whether Nie Huaisang is telling the truth or not.

The coroner’s report will attribute the cause to a combination of the incense burning in the room and the herbal tonic that he has been taking to replenish his yang qi for the past year: Meng Yao’s last gift to a father she has known all along was using her too.

#CQL #The Untamed #mo dao zu shi #Wangxian #陈情令 #魔道祖师 #fic #not-fic

156 notes · View notes

inkedreverie · 1 year

Text

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

author’s note: Well. I had this idea last year and it started out as very self indulgent fic that was originally going to just be a porn without a plot, that somehow turned into a lengthy 5k+ fic. Also I haven't written for Ransom in two years so please be kind.

pairing: ransom drysdale x mixed!rich girl! reader

warnings: featured tropes are: exes to lovers, childhood sweethearts, forced proximity, there was only one bed. angst, cheating, ransom being an asshole, soft! ransom!

summary: Y/N and Ransom's reunion ignites a spark of hope for a potential reconciliation, but the past still lingers between them.

𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑

She never liked high society gatherings. Endless chatter and clashed spoons against expensive china teacups were simply not her cup of tea. She knew that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and she didn't take it for granted. However, she also understood that it could be taken away from her just as quickly as it was given.

When Harlan passed away, Y/N was away at college, and she didn't fully process the news until she returned home. When she received an invitation to a High Tea party in Harlan's honor, deep down, she knew she had to go.

Harlan was more than a friend—he was like a family to her. He provided food, water, clothes, and a roof over her head when no one else would. Even though the parties bored Y/N, she knew that she owed it to Harlan to attend, and she felt guilty that she was so easily uninterested. She kept reminding herself, It's for a good cause, and you owe it to Harlan.

Y/N had been allowing her tea to go cold for quite some time now. As she raised the ceramic cup to her lips, she made the mistake of meeting her ex-boyfriend's cerulean gaze. Her heart skipped a beat, fear and excitement mingling in equal parts.

She spots a familiar face from across the room—one that she knows all too well.

Ransom stood from across the room, his arms crossed against his chest and a wicked grin plastered across his face as cerulean eyes bore into hers. She freezes for a split second, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. He shouldn't be here. How has no one else noticed him or at least greeted him at the door? A part of her begins to wonder if this is just a figment of her imagination—a product of sheer boredom from having to entertain pointless small talk with the older women at her table.

In what feels like mere seconds, Ransom is beckoning her over to him, index finger curled. Her mind is reeling, her heart hammering in her chest as she realizes that he's sure to make a scene if she refuses. She knows that he doesn't take rejection well. He's never been one to react well to being told no, or to anything getting in the way of him getting his way.

She slowly lowers her tea cup and saucer, her eyes still captivated by his. As she lowers her cup, it falls, pouring warm tea down the front of her dress. She gasps, just managing to catch the china cup before it hits the ground and shatters. When she stands from her seat, all eyes are on her. One of the ladies gives her a sympathetic glance and says, "Oh no. Why don't you get that all cleaned up, dear?"

Despite the discomfort of all the attention, she forces a small smile and makes her way across the room, sliding between the other tables in front of her. She finally makes her way across the room. "What are you doing here?" Y/N whispers to him, a hint of anger in her voice.

"What? No greeting? Not even a simple 'Hey, how are you?' I'm so happy to see you again." Ransom replies in a hushed, sarcastic tone, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"It's not nice to see you," she retorts, raising a brow and crossing her arms.

As he looks at the damp patch on her dress, she narrows her eyes. He gives her an impish look, and she feels the urge to grab him and demand answers. She knows it is not a coincidence that he showed up. But instead of reacting, she takes a deep breath and pushes past him.

As she hurries into the bathroom, she grabs a few paper towels and dabs at the wet patch on her dress. She mentally curses herself for letting Ransom distract her. Her mother had gifted her the dress for the event. An event that was supposed to be about Harlan. She sighed, shaking her head. Y/N was still processing his death, even though it had been several weeks after his funeral.

Her thoughts quickly shift back to Ransom. How dare he think he could just waltz back into her life after years of not being around. As she fixed her dress, she tried to calm her racing heart and take deep breaths to steady herself. She couldn't let Ransom ruin the entirety of her day. She needed to stay strong and not let him get to her.

As the bathroom door creaks open, Y/N sees Ransom's reflection in the mirror, making her jaw clench in frustration. "So," he starts, walking over to her by the sink, "our connection is still so strong that you can't help but spill tea when you see me, huh?" His voice is teasing, as if he's enjoying watching her squirm. He knows he’s pushing her limits but, he’s missed her and can’t help but tease her about the incident now that they’re away from prying eyes.

Even though she knows she shouldn't give him the satisfaction, she can't help but feel a twinge of anger at his words. She turns to face him, trying not to let her emotions show on her face. It's hard to maintain a cool facade when all she wants to do is scream at him for his arrogance. She takes a deep breath and gathers herself. She won't let him win. She won't give him the satisfaction of seeing her react. She'll stay calm and collected, no matter what he says or does.

"Please don't flatter yourself. It's just a dress, and I'm used to dealing with spills," she snaps, turning back to the mirror. "And better yet, I'm used to dealing with men who don't respect boundaries." She seethes, her voice dripping with contempt. She hated how he could get under her skin so easily. So much for trying to stay calm.

"Oh? So I'm just a man who doesn't respect your boundaries, eh?" he grins, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He watches her pat dry her dress, his taunting smile widening. "You know, I remember a time when you loved it when I invaded your space."

She ignores his gaze, now fixing her curls. "Yeah, well that was when I was young and foolish and it was before you broke your promise." Her voice is cold, her anger evident in every word.

She refuses to let Ransom win this argument, no matter how much he tries to provoke her. She's better than that, and she won't let him get the best of her. She tries to steady her breathing and focus on the task at hand, refusing to let him take up any more space in her head.

Ransom chuckles, shaking his head. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but we both know you still have feelings for me. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me, even now.” His words pierce through her defenses, making her feel vulnerable. But she won’t let him control her, and she certainly won’t let him weaken her resolve.

Y/N finishes touching up her appearance. She straightens out her pink floral dress before turning to him. “I’m sure you would like that but, I have a boyfriend. And he’s..perfect. And ten times better than you.” She makes her way toward the door when Ransom grabs her wrist tightly.

His grip was rough and firm. "Don't even think about comparing our relationship to whatever you have now. You and I had something real, something special," he growls, his voice low and threatening. He forcefully grabs her by the waist, pulling her closer to him as he leans in to whisper in her ear. "Don't you remember?" His breath on her skin sends shivers down her spine.

She can't deny how he's making her feel: confusion, anger, frustration, panic. But she still won't let him weaken her resolve. She's stubborn and would rather die than admit he's right. Her anger boils up again, coursing through her veins. "Ransom, let me go!" She grits through her teeth, her eyes glancing around nervously as she hears footsteps outside the bathroom door.

As soon as they hear the knob to the bathroom door turning, Ransom instinctively grabs her by the arm and pulls her into the bathroom stall. Y/N's heart beats faster at the fact that she's this close to him, his chest an inch away from hers.

She notices his soft, expensive black suit, his hair perfectly pulled back. His cologne, sharp and intense, instantly invades her nostrils like the biting cold of winter wind. He raises an index finger to his lips, cautioning her to stay quiet.

She rolls her eyes and looks away, hoping they won't get caught. She can't afford to be seen by the other ladies, who would surely spread the rumor around town. Holding her breath, she peeks through the crack in the bathroom stall door as the older ladies, dressed in matching pastel silk dresses and sparkling pearl earrings, gather by the sink. The ladies all look so prim and proper, each one talking softly in a hushed tone like they are in church. Y/N feels like she is going to choke on her breath, but she keeps silent.

"That's Mrs. Wellington. If we keep our voices low, she won't even hear us," Ransom whispers, his gaze piercing through her soul. His knuckles trail down her arm, and goosebumps ghost over her skin. "Does that boyfriend know how to touch you? Does he know how to kiss you?"

His voice was barely above a whisper, his tone husky. He’s testing her. He knows she can’t make a scene unless she wants to risk getting caught. He’s got her cornered and he enjoys it immensely.

His words pierce her heart like a dagger, rekindling the pain and emotions Ransom once caused. At this moment, her resolve wavers, and for a moment, she struggles to maintain the anger she felt only moments before. She turns to face him, her eyes locked on his. Her voice is determined as she speaks, but there's an undercurrent of sadness in her words.

"I'm better off without you."

She knows it's a lie, but she says it with such conviction as if she's trying to convince herself as much as him. But she can’t deny that she's not ready to let him go, despite all the pain he's caused. She still holds out hope that things will work out between them, even though she knows it's a naive wish.

The air in the room feels thick with tension. Ransom leans back, putting his large hand on her shoulder. She thinks for a moment that he believes her. Suddenly, they both hear the clicking of heels as Mrs. Wellington, the head of the group, dressed in a bright teal silk dress, walks by with the other women. Their coiffed hair forms perfect crowns upon their heads as they exit the bathroom.

She dashes towards the door, but she feels Ransom grab her wrist again. His annoyance is evident in his voice as he questions her. "Do you really think you can lie to me after all these years?" He asks. "I just need to know that you feel the same way about him as you used to feel about me."

Y/N looks at Ransom, searching for sincerity in his eyes, and she finds it. She can't bring herself to lie about loving her boyfriend. Or the fact that she’s hurt him deeply, the pain evident in the way he’s looking at her. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She's speechless. Tears start to flood her eyes, and she shakes her head, whispering, "I can't... I can't do this."

With that, she pulls herself away from Ransom’s grasp and rushes out of the bathroom, leaving him behind.

One week later,

Linda Drysdale had invited Y/N and her mother to Harlan's old house. They hadn't seen her since she had left for college, and part of her was excited to see them. But another part of her felt nervous. She still hadn't gotten over what had happened between her and Ransom, an event that had been replaying in her mind like a broken record.

Ransom was like a phantom, with him invading her mind even more than before. She knew there was a chance that he'd be there, as it was his family's house. Just the thought of having to deal with him made her stomach churn.

The ride over to Harlan's estate was quick, with Y/N trying her best to act fine. But despite her efforts, she couldn't help but feel her mother's concerned gaze. When her mom touched her shoulder and asked her if she was okay, she forced a smile on her lips and said she was fine. But she was far from it.

When they parked in the driveway and stepped out of the car, Y/N took a deep breath before knocking on the door with her mother beside her. Linda answered the door and greeted them with a hug, putting her at ease. “Oh, I'm so happy you guys could make it,” she beamed as she pulled them both into her embrace. “And look at you,” she said, taking a good look at Y/N. “You look so grown-up! Come in, dinner is almost ready.” Linda stepped aside and let them walk inside.

As they walked past the foyer, Y/N noticed that the house was just how she remembered it. The living room was expansive, smelling as if Harlan had still been alive there. The aromas of the musty bookshelves, tobacco smoke from his old pipe, and the woodsy scent from the handmade furniture all came together to create a unique and nostalgic fragrance.

For a moment, she felt at ease until Linda called out from the kitchen. "Ransom! Come down here, dinner is ready!" Her heart dropped in her chest as she heard the floorboards creak above her, followed by the sight of Ransom descending the stairs.

He gave her a smug smile, seeing the look of shock on her face."What? You didn't think I'd ditch my own family's dinner party, did you?" he asked, his tone playful but with a hint of triumph.

She was left speechless as Ransom walked into the dining room, her shock almost enough to leave her unable to move. But she recovered quickly and followed him into the room, surprised to see that everyone had already taken their seats. Linda sat with her mother on one side of the table, and Richard was at the head of the table, leaving Y/N to sit between her mother and Ransom.

Feeling her heart pounding, she forced a nervous smile and took her seat next to Ransom, determined not to let her fear show on her face. Throughout the course of the meal, she felt his gaze linger on her every so often. But she kept her true feelings hidden beneath a forced smile.

Moments after dinner ended, Linda began to cry. Richard leaned over the table, holding her hands and asking, "Honey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, really. I was just thinking about Harlan and how happy he would have been to see us all together. He adored the two of you so much." Linda replied, wiping her tears and nodding at Y/N and Ransom.

Y/N offered Linda a grateful smile, transported back to the times she had spent at Harlan's country estate. As she sat there, wrapped up in memories and emotions, she felt her heart ache.

Eight years ago.

Y/N and Ransom laughed as they ran down the halls of Harlan’s country estate. She suddenly darted into one of the studies, jumping onto the desk in the middle of the room. Ransom sauntered over to her.

"Bad move," he said as he approached, his eyes full of mirth. She smirked and shrugged, feeling his hands grip her chin. His thumb grazed over the soft skin of her jawline. He was now only an inch away from her. His arms caged her in, with both of his hands resting on the desk on either side of her hips.

"I missed you today," Ransom whispered, looking down at her lips. A playful glint shone in his eyes as he drew her face closer to his own, their lips almost touching. Her heart raced, knowing that he was just waiting for her to make the first move.

"I've caught you now," He said, his voice low and mischievous. "What's my prize?"

Y/N blushed, her chest rising and falling quickly as she tried to catch her breath. "You can have...anything you want," she gazed up at him with her eyes, trying to not make it obvious that she was feeling nervous. Ransom's smirk widened, and he leaned in again, moving his lips close to her ear, a low murmur filled the air. "Anything I want, huh?" he whispered, his breath tickling her skin. Her body tensed up, not sure how she should react to his words.

She was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the sound of dishes being cleared by the butler. Richard stretched and looked out the window. "Well, I'll be damned," he said, shaking his head as he took in the sight of the heavy rain outside. Linda's eyes widened at the sight of the storm. "Oh no. We can't let you leave in that kind of weather," Linda said. "You can stay the night. We have plenty of room, you know that."

Her mother stood up from the table. "I appreciate it, Linda, but I don't want to impose. I know you're still grieving."

"Don't be ridiculous! We insist. It wouldn't be right if we left you to brave the storm," She insisted.

Y/N's heart raced at the thought of spending the night with Ransom. As she followed her mother into the living room, she felt a mix of anxiousness and excitement. Her eyes darted around the room, taking in the sight of the storm raging outside the windows. She knew it wouldn't be easy to sleep in the same room as Ransom, especially with their history. But the thought of being close to him again, even if it was just for one night, made her stomach flutter with anticipation.

The storm seemed to mirror the tension between her and Ransom, each drop of rain a symbol of the emotions that threatened to overflow and burst, just like the storm. The sound of the rain against the windows created a haunting ambiance in the room, adding to the awkwardness of the conversation.

As Linda and Richard joined them, her dread only intensified. She tried to hide her discomfort but she could feel the tension building like the storm outside. She wished they would leave before things got any worse.

"Your mother can take the guest bedroom," Linda said. "And, Y/N, we don't have another empty room here. You and Ransom will have to share a room. I'm not ready to clean out Harlan's room just yet." Her tone was melancholic as she spoke as if she didn't want to burden Y/N with her request. Y/N's guilt grew with every passing moment, knowing she had no choice but to comply with the request.

Ransom tried to suppress a grin, which only made the situation worse. She felt as though the floor was rising and falling beneath her, the weight of the situation crushing her like a ton of bricks. Her thoughts raced with dread, wondering how she could possibly share a room with her ex and still keep her sanity.

As everyone went to their assigned bedrooms, Y/N stood there, contemplating her options. Sleeping on the couch in the living room wouldn't be a good idea since she would have to explain herself, but sleeping with Ransom was even worse.

She knew she wouldn't get any rest, no matter what she did. "Shall we?" Ransom asked, the smirk on his face growing wider. She let out a heavy sigh and shoved past him up the stairs, his presence behind her like a dark shadow.

The bedroom was lavish, with a black, modern desk filled with papers and pens, a tall wooden bookshelf, a spacious walk-in bathroom, and a king-sized bed with black, modern sheets and a leather ottoman at the end. It was a far cry from her simple bedroom back home, and she felt out of place as she sat down on the edge of the bed. Ransom followed, sitting down next to her, and reached over to tuck a strand of her hair that had fallen in her face.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to ignore the warmth that spread through her body as his fingers grazed her skin. They sat there in silence, the intensity between them palpable. Y/N could feel her heart racing, knowing this was not how she wanted her visit back home to go. As she looked around the room, she couldn't help but feel uneasy and uncomfortable in the situation.

Y/N shrugged Ransom's hand away and got up from the bed, crossing her arms against her chest. She took a deep breath before speaking, determined to make her boundaries clear. "Okay, let's get something straight," she said firmly, her eyes locking onto Ransom's. "We are not sleeping in the same bed! Absolutely not!"

To her surprise, Ransom let out a light chuckle and his arrogant smirk reappeared on his smug face, making her heart race with a mix of irritation and attraction. She tried to ignore it, reminding herself that this situation was temporary and that she can make it through this. "And where would you have me sleep?" Ransom asked, a mocking tone in his voice, making her stomach knot with anger.

She shook her head with frustration, refusing to let him get under her skin. Despite her desire to see him suffer, she knew it was best to keep her emotions in check. "I don't know, but definitely not in the same bed as me," she replied, feeling the awkwardness in the room mounting with each word.

Ransom's eyebrows raised, and for a moment, she felt a twinge of guilt, knowing she was pushing him away. She took a step back, trying to distance herself from him, and repeated her boundaries with more force. "I don't care," she repeated, her voice getting louder with each word. "I'm not sharing a bed with you."

His smile faded, and his expression grew serious as he realized Y/N was not going to change her mind. "Fine," he said, his tone low but not unkind. He turned to the couch and sat down, letting out a heavy sigh as he ran a hand through his hair.

Another wave of guilt washed over her at the sight of him sitting there, alone on the couch. Maybe she had been a little too harsh. But she reminded herself that she had set her boundaries, and sticking to them was important. She stood up and made her way over to the couch, sitting down next to him, and nervously fumbled with her fingers.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said, keeping her voice low. "I know this is a weird situation, but I need to stick to my boundaries. I'll take the couch, and you can have the bed, okay?"

He chuckled softly and shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Y/N, we're both adults," he said with a small grin, his eyes meeting hers. "What's the big deal with us sharing a bed for one night?"

Despite his light tone, Y/N couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over her. A part of her wanted to trust Ransom and let down the walls she built up, but another part of her reminded her to keep her guard up. Reluctantly, she shook her head again. "I'm just not comfortable with it," she said softly. "I'll be fine on the couch."

Ransom nodded slowly, acknowledging her decision, but she couldn't help but feel the weight of his disappointment. Without another word, he stood up and grabbed his pajamas before disappearing into the bathroom with a small sigh.

After a few moments, he stepped out of the bathroom, only wearing his gray pajama pants. She fought the urge to lower her gaze, her eyes wanting nothing more than to linger on his well-toned chest for a moment. "Do you want to change?" he asked, holding his clothes in his arms. Y/N hesitated, trying not to let her emotions show on her face. "Nope, I'm fine in these clothes," she lied, looking down at the black midi dress she was wearing.

He threw his clothes on the end of the ottoman, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Oh come on! Will you stop acting like that?" he said, teasingly. "I swear, you look like I'm about to take away your virtue or something." Y/N couldn't help but laugh, feeling some of the tension leave her body, realizing that she had been holding her breath this whole time.

He was right. She was being childish, refusing to change into more comfortable clothes. They were both adults. They could both sleep in the same room without giving in to their desires. Right? "Sorry Ransom, but I think you stole my virtue away from me a long time ago." She teased, cracking a small smile. "Fine. Do you have anything I could borrow for the night?"

"Of course," Ransom said, seeming to relax a bit. It was the first time in a while that Y/N hadn't looked like she wanted to punch him in the face, and he was pleased that she seemed to be opening up to him more. Deep down, he hoped that maybe they could get back to how things used to be. He walked over to his dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

"Here you go," he said, handing her his clothes. Y/N smiled again, but this time it was genuine, compared to the forced and angry ones he had seen in the past. She whispered a soft, "Thank you" before walking towards the bathroom to get changed.

He felt a certain urgency to follow her into the bathroom and kiss her and wrap his arms around her. To feel her body pressed against his. But he knew it wasn’t the right time. Another sigh escaped his lips as he turned around, beginning to pull the covers down and crawl into bed.

–

A sudden crackling sound woke Y/N and Ransom in the middle of the night. The sound of thunder rumbled ominously in the distance, accompanied by flashes of lightning that lit up the room. The power went out soon after, leaving the room dark except for the moonlight sneaking in through the windows.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, feeling a tinge of fear rising within her. "Ransom?" she asked, her voice a slight shake.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath, sounding irritated but not at her. He tried flipping the switch, but it was dead. "I think the storm cut the power out," he said, sounding annoyed but not directing it at her.

Y/N let out a heavy sigh. "Great," she grumbled. She pulled the blanket up closer to her chest, but it did little to add warmth. The cold quickly filled the room, and a chill slowly crept through the entire house. She could make out the shape of Ransom's face despite the darkness, thanks to the moonlight creeping through the window.

Despite the circumstances, Y/N couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement as she looked at him. She quickly suppressed the feeling, reminding herself of their current situation. Staying safe and warm was her top priority, not her feelings for Ransom.

There were a few moments of silence, and Y/N started to shiver under the weighted blanket, her teeth chattering as she tried to bury herself deeper under the covers. Ransom broke the silence, his voice low and gentle. "Y/N, the power's out and it's going to be a long night. We might as well keep each other warm," he said.

His words were comforting, but she hesitated for a moment. As much as she craved the warmth of his body, she couldn't bring herself to face him. Her emotions were already running high, and she didn't trust herself to keep them in check.

Finally, she mustered up the courage to stand up from the couch and crawl into bed with him. She shifted, her back facing Ransom's chest. She snuggled up close to him, his body heat a welcome comfort in the otherwise cold room.

As she relaxed into him, she felt a small flutter of excitement in her chest, which she tried to suppress but it was futile. She let out a slow breath, trying to slow her racing heart. Ransom felt her shivering frame press against him as he pulled more of the covers up over the two of them.

He began rubbing her arms up and down, in an attempt to provide her with more warmth. "Does that feel better?" he whispered, his voice low and gentle. His lips curved up in a small smirk at the fact that he got to hold her in his arms again. Something he’d missed for the longest time. Despite not being able to see her face, he knew she was awake by the tense muscles in her body and the heavy breathing he could hear.

"Yeah. It feels nice." Y/N replied, her voice shaking a little from the cold. Ransom leaned closer to her ear, speaking in a low voice. "You know, you would probably get more warmth if you were facing me." There was a moment of hesitation, and then she finally replied. "I’m fine the way I am. Plus, you’re only saying that because you want me closer to you."

"Maybe," he chuckled softly, pulling her hair back from her face. For a moment, he brushed his fingers against her cheek, a gentle touch that she could barely feel through the blankets. "Or maybe I just wanted to see your pretty face." As Ransom's fingers continued to brush against her skin, she felt her cheeks grow warm.

She didn't know how to react to his small gesture of affection and sighed deeply, realizing that he wasn't going to let up. Reluctantly, she shifted onto her right side, looking away from him. "Is this better?" she muttered, her tone laced with sarcasm.

Ransom smiled softly, gently trailing his finger down toward her jaw. He knew that he shouldn't push her too much, but he couldn't help himself. He had a hard time controlling himself around her. Every time he looked at her, it reminded him of when they were together and happy. A part of him hated how they had grown apart.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against her forehead. "I miss you, Y/N. I miss how close we were before." The words came out in a whisper, barely audible in the quiet room. But they hung in the air, heavy and full of emotion. "I never meant to hurt you that night. I was stupid and I felt like I was doing the right thing by letting you go. I…I didn’t want to hold you back."

Her breath hitched as he said those words. She knew deep down that there was no turning back now. The expression on his face was soft, and there was a tinge of remorse in his eyes. For a moment, he looked just like the boy she remembered all those years ago before they both headed off to college.

"I..." she hesitated, struggling to find the words. Then, with a deep breath, she uttered the words she had been wanting to say for so long. "Ransom, you were never holding me back. I would’ve followed you anywhere. You...you broke my heart..." she whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke.

Before she could say anything further, Ransom pulled her into him, wrapping his arm around her waist. Their faces were so close together, and she could feel the warmth of his body against hers. It was a tempting sensation, one that made her heart race. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her right now, and she knew it.

“Don’t you think I know that? I regret that every damn day. It was the biggest mistake of my life,” Ransom whispered in her ear. His breath was hot on her temple as he spoke, and she could feel the tremors in his voice. It was clear that he was just as torn up about the situation as she was.

"Ransom," she murmured, pressing a hand to his bare chest. She knew where this was going and feared what she might do. Their connection had always seemed otherworldly - a drug that she had never been able to get enough of, even after they'd separated. He'd always been a source of temptation, a pull that she'd never been able to resist. She never loved anyone else quite like she did him.

He leaned his forehead against hers, a spark of desire in his eyes. "Tell me this feels wrong and I'll stop," he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction as he asked.

She sighed softly. She knew it was wrong, but the pull of temptation was too strong to resist. She couldn't force the words out - deep down, she wanted this too. And the way that he was looking at her right now - it made her heart race even faster and her belly twist with delicious uncertainty.

She closed the gap and kissed him passionately. Her arm wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, even closer than before. He was stunned at first and then, without a moment's hesitation, he kissed her back. It was fierce and passionate, with a certain roughness that she had missed for so long. His hand cradled her neck as they kissed, a feeling that she never wanted to end.

A few minutes after they locked lips, she pulled away, leaving them both panting and trying to catch their breath. Even in the dimly lit room, she could still make out the familiar outline of Ransom's mischievous grin. "Just give me another chance to love you," Ransom whispered, his voice laced with sincerity and hope. "Give me another chance to show you the kind of love that you deserve. I promise I won't let you down again."

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she listened to his words. It was something she had been hoping for, for the longest time, and now it was finally becoming a reality. With a mix of excitement and trepidation, she replied, "Ransom, losing you once was painful enough. I don't want to ever go through that again."

Y/N felt a sense of vulnerability wash over her as she spoke, but she pushed through it, determined to see this through. She cupped his face in her hands and leaned in to kiss him once more as their bodies intertwined beneath the sheets.

banner credit: @.saradika

#ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom drysdale angst #ransom drysdale fluff #ransom drysdale fanfic #ransom drysdale fanfiction #knives out fanfiction #ransom drysdale oneshot #my writings #knives out

155 notes · View notes

yourhighness6 · 2 months

Text

A Yue Stan's Thoughts on Yue's Character in NATLA

As much as I appreciated what NATLA was trying to do and think it is worth a rewatch, can I just say as an unapolagetic Yue stan that they completely ruined her, and Yukka by extension.

And say whatever you want about her scenes leading up to the sacrifice (which did make me cry, I'll admit, her speech about living was actually a nice addition), but it was actually this line that left me absolutely seething and in my opinion proves that the writers completely misunderstood what made the sacrifice so powerful:

I actually had to pause the television and collect myself after this one because holy fuck is this the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The entire point in the animated show was that she didn't get to make her own choices before this point. She didn't get to choose who to marry, she didn't get to choose her role in society, she didn't get to choose basically anything about her life besides maybe how to style her hair or something. Yue was a character who was extremely dutiful, but also extremely boxed in by her duty. It was both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness, a parody of itself, just as her mere existence was a parody: while she was saved by the moon spirit as a child and allowed to live on, it was that very reason that she eventually gave up her life. And the very fact that she was given these choices in the first place in the LA seriously undermined the idea of her sacrifice. Yue was told her entire life what to do, and although she did manage to find a bit of freedom through her brief romance with Sokka, ultimately, she still didn't get to publicly be with him or reject Hahn or anything similar. Her sacrifice was what she saw as her duty, yes, but her sacrifice for her people was also a way of standing up for herself and finally resolving to make her own choices. In that moment, she not only saved her people, but she finally made a decision for herself instead of doing something someone else told her to, even going against Sokka's wishes to do what she thought was necessary. So in the LA, with her having a place of influence in her community, with her being able to call off her engagement, with her being told that she could one day be chief, to that stupid fucking line implying that she was in no way ever repressed and free to make her own decisions the entire time, removing all of her character growth and any character significance to her actions, it was all basically pointless. It made Yue into a plot device for Sokka to bond with and to move the Aang-and-Kuruk plotline forward. In the animated series, Yue was not a plot device, and she was extremely well written, whereas in NATLA, her character fell completely flat. She talks about responsibility and pressure in her first scene with Sokka, but other than that, she has no depth. In other words, she has no depth besides her relationship to him.

Anyway, I hope we can all agree that her characterization and a lot of the decisions made in the last two episodes of NATLA were nothing but a pile of bulshit. From Iroh killing Zhao to Yukka having zero chemistry to Katara just magically becoming a master to Zuko being shelved to the plotline about Aang not feeling like he belonged having absolutely no buildup beyond a throwaway line in the second episode to everything about Yue I spelled out above, I would go as far to call it just plain bad. Again, I'm glad it got renewed, and I'll be the first to say a lot of other episodes get unnecessary hate, as well as that we are working with slightly different characters (especially Azula) in this version than the first, but I was really disappointed with seeing Yue in LA for a second time.

#natla #yue #yue meta #yukka #avatar the last airbender #anti natla #sokka #arnook #natla episode 7 #natla episode 8 #consider this part of my natla debrief series #which wont be continued at all #emmie babbles

28 notes · View notes

holewithinahole · 9 months

Text

The Spirit’s in It | Egon Spengler x nb!reader [3/3]

Summary: “I didn’t know psychology doctors also specialized in particle physics, is all.”

What you meant as a light joke to relax him did quite the opposite. He straightens, righting up his glasses one more pointless time. “I have a degree in nuclear engineering,” he states before walking out, leaving you confused and feeling like you’ve spent the entire time offending him unintentionally.

Warnings: angst, non-native writer, non-beta’d

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

And here’s the end. I apologise in advance. It's funny despite how aromantic I am how I'm the best at romanticising relationships lmao. I wanted to explore how romantic relationsips are inherently different for neurodivergent people, especially ppl on the autism spectrum. Yeah...

The end is pretty cliché and I kinda hate it but hey, I live for the tropes. I'm gone, bye! Thank for reading this to its end!

At first, you haven’t been able to swing by the Ghostbusters headquarters as much as you would’ve liked, too busy assisting students for future exams. As Egon predicted, psychokinetic energy has kept rising in New York, meaning the three of them were called all the time to assist here and there. Their secretary – Janine Melnitz you learned when Egon introduced you, has been looking more and more like a ghost herself, and you were sincerely impressed by how much energy she still managed to conjure to send people away. All of that resulted in the hiring of a new member of the team, Winston Zeddmore, a gentle soul of a man who took the place of Egon on the field. It’s often easy to read: ‘I didn’t sign up for this bullshit’ on his face, but he’s resilient and hardworking which is everything the Ghostbusters could have needed and more.

A week after your fresh new meeting, you ended up telling Egon and Dr. Stantz about their research papers stored at your place. The latter had been delighted and thanked you profusely. The retrieval had gone without any incident, although you did notice the baffled look that passed between the two of them when they saw the several towers of boxes. (There had been a discreet comment from Egon questioning humans’ propensity to stack things.)

Why you ended up at Egon’s place you have no idea. Well, you do know how – most of the files were his after all and you couldn’t let Dr. Stantz handle the walking up five flights of stairs on his own. Plus, Egon wanted to look back at some old papers of his; something about a new plan of approach concerning the storage facility issue. So, there you stood, looking around awkwardly as Dr. Stantz retrieved the last box downstairs. It was a simple apartment, messy and not intended to be anything more than an occasional place to sleep – or, surprisingly, a fungus breeding farm.

Your questioning gaze certainly didn’t go unnoticed. “I collect spores and fungi,” he explained.

“Neat.” You didn’t really think before you carried on, “Is that why you studied microbiology?”

“…amongst other things,” Egon said, looking slightly surprised. “I didn’t realize you knew.”

“Uh,” you trailed off. “I’ve read your papers.”

“All of them?”

Can it get any more embarrassing than that? “…might have.”

He didn’t answer and you thanked him internally for it. The visit was short and to the point, Egon clearly looking uncomfortable having other people trespass into his space. That’s what you kept telling yourself anyway, not especially fond of diving back into the whole ‘I’m an embarrassment to myself, him, and society’ spiral.

In itself, routine didn’t change much. You kept doing most of your research at the university, exchanging with the different professors of the lab, giving your opinions on the students’ ongoing thesis and avoiding Dean Yaeger. Then, you’d meet with the doctors after work to discuss the improvements of the containment facility. But the more the days went by, the more Egon’s temper seemed to flare. Not in the usual, explosive or passive-aggressive nature but in the dwindling of words, and the psychosomatic tremor of his eyelid. You hadn’t been truly able to understand why, when, or how.

Which led you to your actual predicament.

“I don’t think it’ll work, Egon.”

Sitting at a desk, you scratch an equation, staring dejectedly at the example of ‘ionization radiation decay meter’ Egon sketched. The man himself has taken his glasses off and pressed his eyes to alleviate his migraine. “We’ll have to include the system later,” he concedes, looking crossed. “I have to analyze today’s samples.”

After downing the cup of cold coffee you forgot on the desk with a disgusted grimace, you slouch on your chair. You watch Egon from the corner of your eye, busy staring and typing on his computer. He lets out an uncharacteristic annoyed noise.

“Not good?” you ask.

“Like I thought, it’s exponential.” He sighs. “Two days ago, PKE was three times less important than today.”

“Something big on the horizon.”

“Yes,” he says.

This tense atmosphere has you overly cautious as if one wrong word could make this artificial veil of normalcy shatter. It makes your skin crawl, inadequately feeling like your mere presence is making things worse. Leaving his computer behind to sit on the couch, he browses through the results he printed. His tiredness is noticeable even from where you are. You’re about to say something when Venkman comes waltzing in, his energy clashing with the general atmosphere of the room, which he notices immediately.

“Well, well,” he says in a singsong tone. “Who are we burying today?”

Egon doesn’t grace him with an answer, only with a glare before looking back at his results.

“It’s been a long day, I guess,” you answer truthfully to loosen the tension.

Venkman, always in theatrics, opens his arms wide. “Look who we’ve got here! Hello there.” He has his usual smirk on. “You’ve been hanging ‘round here more often.”

“Hello, Dr. Venkman.” You smile. “Just trying to help Egon.”

“And why aren’t we on a first-name basis?”

You certainly don’t voice aloud that you don’t want to give him any ideas, which he gets well enough on his own. Egon, for its part, is frowning so hard his eyebrows have merged with the frame of his glasses. You can almost imagine a big molten hole where his eyes are boring through the paper.

“Egon kindly proposed,” you explain.

“Wow, you guys,” Venkman exclaims. You frown at him, confused. “Congrats, Spengie! Don’t forget the invitation.”

This snaps Egon out of his sulking trance, face hardening at Venkman’s inappropriate comment.

“He kindly offered,” you interject, trying your best to look unfazed at the innuendo and to avoid an act of crime against humanity. “You, however, take everything for granted.”

Venkman whistles – which makes you want to strangle him – but at least Egon doesn’t look like he’s going to jump at his throat from across the room anymore.

“Damn, snarky today, uh? Let’s start over then.” Despite his mocking tone, he walks near you and extends a hand that you look at dubiously. “Hi, the name’s Peter.”

A small part of you doesn’t want to shake his hand, just to rile him up but you still do. Strangely enough, there’s an endearing quality to his man, when he wants to.

“Nice to meet you, Peter.”

The man lets out a pleased chuckle. “Now, now, I’m not trying to get you two to leave but this man–” He tugs at his collar. “–has a date tonight and he will be singing in the shower. So, if you want some peace and quiet, now would be a good time to go play in the basement.”

You scoff. “You’ve got a date.”

Venkman seems either completely oblivious or completely disinterested in your tone. “With a sweet creature called Dana Barrett.”

“Don’t forget to ask her about Zuul, Peter,” Egon says, snapping out of his good ten minutes of selective mutism.

Venkman disappears into their common room. “Did I say date?” he shouts. “I meant work meeting.”

True to his words, he starts singing a bad rendition of Queen of Hearts, making sure to annoy the whole building. Even if it grates on your nerves, it’s fascinating to witness this clutter of a place, with such different personas stacked on top of each other. You’ve never heard the story of how the three of them ended up being best buddies and judging by Egon’s closed-up face, today wouldn’t be the day you ask.

After five minutes of excruciating vocalizations, he puts down his results, standing up from the couch. You eye him curiously. “Where’ you going?”

“The basement.”

You frown, standing up. “You know; I don’t think he was serious.”

“I have readings to do downstairs,” he answers shortly.

He walks towards the stairs but stops, pivoting slightly towards you without meeting your eyes. The prickling sensation at the back of your brain is back. You can’t wrap your head around the contrast between his high-strung demeanor and his unspoken invitation to follow him. The confusion suddenly feels too heavy.

“Egon.” He looks up and you’re not expecting the flatness of his expression, how detached he’s looking. “Are you angry?”

It sounds stupid in your own ears, a ridiculous childish question but it’s out of your mouth before you can think about it. Words are wonderful incentives, you think, but sometimes, they just end up pushing people away.

Egon frowns, still not entirely facing you. “No.”

“Then–”

Venkman comes back into the room, whistling loudly. “Still there, lovebirds?”

You turn to answer him but you’re cut off by the loud steps of Egon hurtling down the stairs, leaving you staring dumbly at the invisible trail he left behind. There’s an uncomfortable silence as you frown, heart beating loudly for a reason you can’t really pinpoint. Venkman stands there, undoubtedly conscious of having said the wrong thing.

“Don’t worry, he’s cranky when he doesn’t have his nap.”

You decide to simply gather your belongings and leave. “I’ll come back in a few days.”

Even if Venkman offers to buy you a taxi, you decide to use the subway and as you stare without seeing at the dirty walls of New York’s underground tunnels, you realize that perhaps you’re starting to care a little too much.

Just a tad too much.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Awakening of Gozer

Perhaps you shouldn’t have gone home that day.

For when you heard that in less than twenty-four hours, the Ghostbusters headquarters exploded and that a cloud of psychokinetic energy appeared above Manhattan, you felt that ‘are you angry’ were stupid words to say to somehow you might never see again.

You stand in front of your TV as journalists follow the Ghostbusters’ car through the streets of New York, crowd in a standing ovation. You feel restless as you look through your window, watching the sky turning dark and the full-blown light show the ghosts seem to be throwing downtown. Even when the black clouds dissipate – reminding everyone that it was barely three in the afternoon, you stare, left leg bouncy, at the screen for the final cry of the crowd, hoping, praying, that it’d be of joy.

You’re not truly sure of the feelings rushing through you when they leave this building, dirtied but alive. As soon as you see their proud faces, you turn off the TV, and lay down on the couch, breathing deeply. You close your eyes and contemplate the labyrinth of paths life could have taken in the last two hours. When ten p.m. rolls out, you stand up, driven by some unknown force out of your apartment. Somehow, the sky still holds the purple hues of the paranormal manifestation that plagued New York this evening, ribbons of ghost energy glowing like winter lights and casting discreet colors on the buildings. Tomorrow, you’ll look back at the usual grayish streaks of pollution and everything will feel like a long fever dream.

It’s silly the way the heart and the brain latch on to these human connections like they’re starving. It’s unfortunate, truly. Unfortunate how walking through the chill of the busy streets leads you to his place; a sanctum at the top of a dirty building. And it’s scary how unable you are to stay away, – now and every day – especially when emotions are all over the place; fear in your stomach, anxiety in your loins, need – this unshakable need — in your heart: terrible, voracious, heavy in your limbs as you drag your exhausted body up the stairs. Knocking on the door is, weirdly enough, more nerve-wracking than having witnessed their improbable excursion on television. Egon opens the door, all intrigued eyes and furrowed brows; dressed so casually it seems unreal.

“I know it’s not the time, and that you don’t like people in your space,” you mumble. “But I was— “

Egon steps away from the doorway, inviting you in silently, and it’s almost reluctantly that you step inside. It’s dimly lit but you notice opened notebooks on his table next to three empty mugs.

“Was I interrupting?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

“No,” Egon answers to your surprise. “I was only writing down what happened tonight.”

You hum. “I saw it on TV.”

He gestures to you to take a seat. From your chair, you can see Egon busying himself with his small fungus farm, touching the caps of his mushrooms with the tips of his fingers. “You know; I think you deserve a rest, after saving the city and all.”

“I believe we saved the world.”

The emphasis doesn’t go unnoticed. You chuckle nervously, having found a deep interest in a stain on the floor. “I wonder if your Sumerian God would have been able to conquer the world as a hundred-foot-tall marshmallow man.”

“Gozer is a powerful entity,” he says. “They would have brought the apocalypse on our world.”

“But now it’s gone, eh?” The unusual silence makes you look up at him.

“We’ve only destroyed a vessel and a portal. There might be more somewhere.”

“Well…” You try to rationalize. “Good thing the Ghostbusters will always be there.”

Egon stills, staring without looking as if he’s debating inside: is it true? Will it be true? Will I do anything to honor this promise? You decide to drop the subject.

“So, how does one destroy the portal of a God? ’Sounds like a lot of molecular bounds to break.”

“We crossed the streams.”

You freeze.

“…I thought you shouldn’t do that, like ever.” It’s easier to fake some lightheartedness in your tone than to face how a simple slip of fate could have made this improvised late-night meeting impossible.

“It did work.”

It’s harder to swallow as if he could suddenly vanish in front of your very eyes, taken away by some dark entity; as if every single particle of his being could disappear forever as they annihilate their counterpart. A total protonic reversal, that’s what Dr. Stantz had said. You unwillingly explore this possibility: how you, safely at home, wouldn’t have known about their utter and complete destruction until the ridiculous vessel of a Sumerian God turned on the city and brought the apocalypse upon the world. Perhaps after a few hours, perhaps after a day, you would have accepted the fact that they had lost. Or you’d have watched an explosion of unimaginable scale, staring blindly at the death of thousands of people and the loss of what became a constant in your life.

You stand up, trying to get rid of the restless energy that has been buzzing underneath your skin for two days now.

“Oh yes, proton-antiproton collisions are usually effective at killing everything around.” You sigh, trying to squash down the trembling in your voice, leaning against his desk. “Even if you weren’t already dead by the annihilation of your own molecules, the explosion would have finished the job.”

But it’s pointless to remind him of what he already knows. Egon still faces his farm but his mechanical movements have stopped. You say, “You’re more of a jackass than I thought.”

“The chances of surviving were low, I’ll admit.”

“No shit,” you mutter lowly. “Bless the uncertainty principle.”

His small cocky smile is an unexpected but welcomed sight. “Quantum theory has never been truly challenging for me.”

It startles a laugh out of you. “You might want to revise your judgment, then.”

Putting down whatever kind of instrument he has been using, he walks closer and leans on the spot next to you; an unusual decision, perhaps even an unspoken attempt at consolation. It’s funny because you’ve never stood this close, ever. There’s always been something between you: a room, a desk, Venkman, your apprehension, his awkwardness… As his shoulder brushes against yours, your heart soars with uneasiness but as soon as you let your bubble of comfort merge with his, it becomes the most natural thing in the world. Only then, at this very instant, does your heartbeat finally slow down, does the gnawing sensation at the pit of your stomach dissipate… leaving you to wonder when it’ll all pop.

“You haven’t told me the purpose of your visit,” Egon says after some time, always traveling the universe at the speed of light.

“Ah yes.” There it is. “I was restless.” He looks at you intently. “It just occurred to me that our last meeting hasn’t been entirely— agreeable.”

You stare at the ground. “I would have preferred not to have left on bad terms.”

“You were worried I wouldn’t come back.” It sounds like an epiphany.

He says ‘I’ and not ‘we’, and you would have liked for his social ineptitude to take a step forward for once, and not his ridiculously sharp sense of observation.

“Well… It’s normal, isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer. You wish for the world to be ‘normal’ again, or at least the isolated system of your mental landscape. The disruption in the former entity of your thoughts morphs your behaviors, your habits, making you a slave to the random bursts of emotions you’d like to see buried. This energy stays right there, bound by thermodynamics and your fixations. Perhaps this PKE, this conscience energy is the reason for it all.

“I’m afraid that all of this–” You make a half-hearted movement of the arm. “–will disappear.”

“The world?” He asks.

“No. Yes. I mean…“ You swallow. “Here, right now. I’m afraid I’ll wake up in the morning to realize that it’s all gone.”

“I don’t think reality will end during the night.”

You don’t feel like expanding on those uncomfortable feelings so you entertain the idea. “We were about to be wiped out by a God from distant times. If ghosts are proof of anything, it’s that time is meaningless. It could very well end in a few hours.”

Egon doesn’t answer. You let out a sigh. “It’s irrational.”

“Perhaps,” he says after some time. “But fears usually are.”

“People usually fear tangible things, like, I don’t know, ghosts.”

“Ghosts aren’t material per se–”

You chuckle, looking at him. “I knew you’d say that.”

It’s complicated, this situation; how his literal words comfort you in unsuspected ways. It should be annoying, saddening even, to harbor such feelings for someone who lives miles away in his own head of equations, schematics and paranormal theories. You question your behavior, wondering if, in the end, he’s not just another new thing to fixate upon, if he’s not just another unanswered question on your long list of interrogations about life, the universe and everything. If that’s the case then, you can just move on.

“It’s late,” he states.

Perhaps, you can move on. “Yes, I’m gonna go.”

You gather your bag, breaking the fallacy of closeness you had. If the painful torpor your heart is in is any indication, is that it – whatever it is – goes beyond a fixation, but you don't want to confront any of this...

“Goodbye, Egon.”

…unless it’s to run away.

It’s a goodbye, you convince yourself, pushed closer by a disillusioned thought and a hint of desperation. On his face, you can read a plethora of interrogations, each for one flicker of a lid, for one shift of an eye; unique movements as his body stays right in place. It spurs you on, makes you cross the remaining distance between you. And as you place your hand on his arm to not buckle under the pressure, you give a single kiss; a furtive indulgence at the corner of his lips. Something that could be more, something that could be nothing.

You haven’t meant to meet his eyes, but it all seemed inescapable when he didn’t even close them in the first place while you hid safely behind the opaque screen of your lids. It’s confusion, likely a little bit of recoil… You burn brighter from a single kiss, a torch shining a little light on him too, but as adrenaline slips away, you’re faced with darkness again. There’s nothing you can fault him for as it’s your own two legs that took you there in the first place. It’s your own weak heart that pushed you up those stairs as everything else was dragged down by gravity.

You’re out of his apartment as quickly as you can. You know that if you abuse this kindness, your wider smile and warmer face will be the devil’s work; the consequence of pillaging of benevolence you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to stop. Even with genuine motions, his telltale beat will never follow yours, and even the strongest, wildest embers won’t alienate it faster. You will be a parched man facing a mirage, a moth to an ephemeral flame that will love everything until it’s consumed. But a flame doesn’t love back and love is a sin for the ones that feel it the most.

The next day, the sky is back to its usual color.

#egon spengler x reader #egon spengler #ghostbusters imagine #ghostbusters reader insert #ghostbusters #non binary reader

79 notes · View notes