#she caught him slippin
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Listen the fight over if Lark would be a better parent then Sparrow is over. Cause we all know who the best parent out of the Oak children would be
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#birdy stan#even if Birdy is an actual parrot#If Birdy unleashed the doodler it would be Henry’s fault#she caught him slippin#Birdy also might be a parrot#and my opinion doesn’t change#neither should yours
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Cursed Lips Sink Ships
A/N: Nothin special.. Just out fave cursed speaker takin things a bit too far..
Toge didn't mean to. He swear on all that he honors the word just slipped from his lips. If any ones to blame it should be you. Two of you in a empty class room, supposed to be practicing a few techniques. That went out the window when you tripped, grabbing onto Toge's arm and taking him down with you.
He absolutely cannot recall how it ended up with you shamelessly writhing in his lap nude. One hand sloshing around inside your hungry lil puss while the other kneads your tit, deep blue manicured fingers massaging the soft flesh roughly as you moan out to him.
"Tooogeee! You see it? Don't look away, pussy's so wet for you. She likes you so much, huh? Know you like it too. Dont think I can't feel how h-hard your dick is. Bet it's as pretty as you are.. Mmmm.. Keep watching."
So he stares at you through the wide, long mirror adorning the thin wall. The sight and nasty filth spewing from your alluring lips makes his dick twitch and leak in his black slacks. Bad enough they're fucking drenched from the mess spillin outta you and he doesn't have a second pair with him.
"Doing so gooood, Toge. Listen like such a good boy. Ahhh.. Got me so close, gonna cum on my fingers so hard."
Fuck, he wants to see that. NEEDS to see it like he needs air. Toge just hopes he can hold his nut before then. It doesn't help that your ass repeatedly grinds slow circles on his cock. Doesn't help at all that you smell so good: like fresh fruit and blossoms and he doesn't know why that's so arousing.
"Ohfuckohfuck! Never felt this good before. Cause of you, Toge. All cause of youuu!"
Now he has to close his eyes for a moment, can't take the way your head leans back on his shoulder as you stare up at him in a daze. Body so soft, curves on display as you press against him sensually.
He doesn't understand how you think he can endure this. Just the sounds of your loud sloppy finger fuck is finna make him abandon this lil charade. He's bout to have the whole school hear the wails he can draw from your glossy lined lips.
"Open your eyes, Toge. Mmmfuck- gotta keep your pretty eyes on me, member? Eyes on me and n-no touchin. Then maybe I let you get a taste.."
Toge gulps, eyes opening as he squirms into the hard floor. His nails dig sharply into his thighs, hoping that's enough to keep from pinning you down and stuffing his face into your puffy brown folds.
"Ohhhh! Toge! Toge, I'm so close! You ready? Huh, baby? Ahhhfuh- wanna see me cum?"
Its cute how quick he nods for you, gaze so desperate as he stares in-between your legs through the reflection. So fuckin thirsty for it as you lose control in his arms, goosebumps covering his skin when your fingers rub neat little circles on your clit.
"Almost theeeere-"
'Come on, sweetheart.' Toge thinks. 'Cum for me. Lemme have it, y/n. Cum, cum, cum-.'
"Cum."
He doesn't mean to, the word spilling from his lips before he can stop. Cursed energy flowing out with it, compelling you to obey forcefully. The orgasm is so fuckin ferocious, forces your pitiful lil puss to contract around your fingers powerfully. It doesnt matter that you rip both hands from your overstimulated frame, still cumming like you got direct pressure on your throbbing lil button.
"P-plee-easse To! S-stooop! STOP!"
The amount of liquid that comes outta you is insane, bathing Toge's lower half as you drain your pussy on his clothed cock. You buck so widly in his lap, he has to grip your spasming body tight. Just cant take his eye's of your reflection, watching when you reach back to grip the hair at his nape to anchor yourself.
"Togeeee!"
Toge's so sorry, so so fuckin sorry. Can't believe he got caught slippin like this. He doesn't know how to help you more than covering up your hysterical shrieks with his palm as he cradles your body to his. Feels like Satan himself when he has to tense his gut to not buss at the scene before him.
"Salmon.. Salmon.." He whispers soothingly at your ear, apologizing over and over.
You cum for a full minute, the longest 60 seconds of your fucking life. Can't breath or see pass the tunnel vision as your sweaty frame goes limp in Toge's arm. Don't feel him shakin your body frantically and tappin at your warm cheek as he tries to wake you. You're completely outta it when Saturo clears his throat, knockin sharply outside the classroom door.
"Is everyone- uh.. Everything okay in there?"
#black reader#black fanfiction#black writer#all readers#all welcome#all women are beautiful#like and follow#like and comment#dirty talk#smut#finger my pussy#dubious consent#dub con#toge inumaki#inumaki toge#toge inumaki x reader#toge inumaki x you#toge x reader#toge inumaki x black reader#jjk smut#jjk x black reader#jjk x black y/n
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Stranger Things Masterlist
R oneshots means requested - Send Requests/Feedback/Questions here - guidelines
❤ my favs | 💋 SMUT (18+) | ☔ ANGST
Disclaimer: the smut is intended for readers of ages of 18 or older. I do not want to expose anyone to anything that they do not want to be exposed to.
> Back to Main Masterlist <
>Stranger Things Taglist <
SERIES
Not Wholly Evil (dark!pirate!Eddie x reader)
summary: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.
Ridlington Park (regency!Eddie x reader)
summary: A lady from one of the most fortunate families of the ton is in search of a suitor—much to her own dismay—and so she does everything in her power to ruin her family’s attempts at an engagement. But what happens when the one who truly charms her turns out to be the one person she can never marry?
ONE SHOTS
R Heaven And Hell (Eddie x Reader x Steve) 💋
summary: Steve is getting a bit jealous of how close you are with your best friend and the two only have one way of setting the record straight between you.
Painless Endeavour (tattoo artist!Eddie x Reader)
summary: an AU in which, after his first failed attempt to graduate, Eddie drops out of school to follow an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlour. 3 years go by and you stumble into that same studio, unlocking some lost memories.
The Greatest Avendure (Eddie x Reader)
summary: Eddie is thinking of what to do after graduation
That's a Strong Word (Eddie x Reader) 💋
summary: dating the undateable could be quite the challenge... so you make it one for both of you.
Moments (Rockstar!Eddie x groupie!Reader) 💋 ❤
summary: Eddie has been taking advantage of the perks that come with having years of success in the business.
Following The Herd (dark!cult!Eddie x Reader) 💋(☔)
summary: Eddie Munson has never been anything but sweet and caring to you. He had always made sure you were alright and safe and always helped you with anything you asked for. So now, that he needed you, how could you possibly refuse?
(Im)perfect Day (Eddie x Reader)
summary: Eddie can get in his head sometimes, and when that happens... well... the point is, he really really tried.
Twitterpated (modern!Eddie Munson x reader)
summary: You keep on encountering the same stranger while waiting in line for the Disneyland rides. It's almost too much of a coincidence, in fact. You find each other in the crowds time after time and eventually, as the day progresses, sneaky glances evolve into more.
Caught Me Slippin' (modern!escort!Eddie x reader) 💋
summary: feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories. [extra blurbs based on au, 1☔, 2, 3 ☔, 4, 5...]
Headlights (Eddie)☔
summary: Hawkins has seen it all; communist conspiracies, government cover-ups, fires, pests... but can it deal with a slasher killer on the loose?
Diary of Potential College Dropouts (College!Steddie)
summary: Neither of them expects to make it through a full semester, though for different reasons. Is that perhaps why they were given a dorm to share?
The Boy Is Mine
summary: [blurb challenge] A romantic night in at the trailer.
EDDIE ask requests
Blurbs
Sub!Eddie 💋
Making New Friends (incl. jealous!boyfriend!steve)
Eddie asks you out for a date
Star Gazing Date
Hell Diver - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6❤ (continued mini series)
Thigh Riding 💋
Post-Gig Sex 💋
Guitar Lessons
Late Night Talking
Shower Sex (goes wrong) 💋
Scars (☔)
Pool Party
Eddie Finds Out About Your Tattoo (Cheer Cap!reader)
Daddy Kink 💋
Not-so-innocent!reader Meets Hellfire
Concert
Eddie Gives You a Reality Check (☔)
Overcoming the Nerves 💋
Wearing His Shirt
Eddie Teaches You to Stand Up Against Bullies
Eddie Punches Your Asshole Boyfriend - 2
Devil!Rockstar!Eddie
Corroded Coffin Origin Stories (ft. the-haiku-bot)
Eddie is Lost for Words
Carrie Stunt
Eddie Comforting You
Voice Kink💋
Librarian!Reader 💋
Bartender!Eddie
Tutorial 💋
Headcanons
Eddie and Your Time of the Month
Crushing on Your Best friend Eddie
Eddie Trying to Make You Feel Better
Twilight AU + other asks: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Random Eddie Headcanons
Eddie's CV
Rockstar!Eddie and DnD
Trucker!Eddie
Spending your Birthday with Eddie
Centerfold Jealousy
STEVE ask requests
Blurbs
First Time 💋
The Corroded Coffin Archive
Corrosion (1989)
Cryptic (1991)
The Game of Lost Souls (1993)
Spotify Playlists
The Un-Eddiest Eddie Songs (songs that give off Eddie vibes, despite beings ones he probably wouldn't listen to out of himself)
Tuesdays @ the Hideout (covers I think Corroded Coffin would play - mostly time accurate + some random ones for fun)
Caught Me Slippin' (Taylor's Version) - the fic as told through Taylor Swift songs
Spotify Wrapped Blurbs
2022
Grapejuice (Robin x reader)
Summer of '69 (Eddie x Reader (☔)
Footloose (Eddie x Reader)
Edge of Seventeen (Eddie x Reader) (☔)
Random Headcanons
Goonies
Random #1
#Stranger Things a Graphic Novel (fanart)
1 (s4e1 - ´86, Baby)
2 (s4e7 - For Your Modesty, Dude)
Phone Backgrounds
Eddie
Joseph Quinn
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In the rain (a fantasy)
As the light rain hits the soft grass, you can still find Mya and Isaiah sitting on top of the picnic blanket.
They were having an intense stare down, watching each other’s faces cover in tiny drops.
A single nod back in his direction sent her tackling him, muffling their laughter in a kiss.
The deeper their kisses get, the hornier things become as they pull at each other's dampening clothes.
“It’s a good thing I didn’t wear any panties,” she says at the exact moment his hand wanders up her dress.
“Wettest thing out here,” he pecks her lips as she giggles at his corniness.
“You’re so silly,”
“I’m horny too, come here,” he swallows her laughter in another kiss, his hand still busy underneath her dress, rubbing a sinful circle on her clit.
Her hips rock against his hand, cursing as two of his fingers slide inside and curve just the way she likes.
Soon she was rocking on top of him the same way, flipping her wet hair over her shoulder, which he yanks backward, giving him full access to her neck, leaving the wettest of kisses behind.
Her curses cut clear through the heavy drizzle, sending chills up his spine. Their toes curl as her bouncing turns aggressive.
Grinding, biting, sinking their nails in, moaning, grunting, gasping for air.. all under a soft blanket of rain.
Slippin’..
Slidin’..
Pushing her down onto the blanket and pinning her hands down, both his strokes hitting her spot and soft kisses against her wet skin relentlessly, making her cum over and over, and over again.
He hovers over her shaky frame and stares down at her in complete awe, watching her body arch and bend upwards as another one comes around the corner.
The way her brows scrunch, the way she turns her head just so he can grip her chin and make her look him right in the eyes, until hers couldn’t help but roll back.
The way she squeezes around him so perfectly, slowly makes him lose his own damn mind.
His praises hit her ear as his strokes get heavier, making her lose her breath and cling to him.
“Baby,” she gasps.
“I know,” he kisses her lobe, “let it out, baby. I got it.”
Her moans meet the back of the hand that’s pressed to his shoulder, while the other hand is clinging to his back still as she cums again, pulling him to the edge with her as they fall flat against the blanket with a laugh.
Just as the rain begins to pick up.
The purest of I love you’s falling from their lips.
Another memory etched in their brain.
His, especially.
Slipping their clothes back on before they get any more caught up in what soon became an entire thunderstorm, Isaiah tosses Mya over his shoulder and carries her toward the truck, sitting her inside.
“We can cross that off your list,” she speaks, as he dries off her feet.
He gives her a lazy smile, as she reaches out for his hand. Extending his arm to her, she leans forward to kiss his knuckles.
Of course he pulls her completely into his lap and reclines his seat back a little, making her laugh.
“Isaiah!”
“I’m just playing,” he chuckles, kissing her cheek, wrapping his arms around her.
Happy Saturdaye 💜
@blowmymbackout @sheabuttahwrites @soufcakmistress @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @ghostfacekill-monger @supersizemeplz @thegifstories @blackerthings @mauvecherie-writes @blackpinup22 @honestpreference @abeautifulmindexposed @twistedcharismaaa
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Loaded Teas & Introductions
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II x Black PlusSized Reader
A #supersizedfic mini. I heard this mashup on TikTok and fell in love. But the initial one shot is inspired by a comment I seen if hearing it and seeing the love of your life. So here’s the mashup and I hope you enjoy. Excuse any typos.
Its this one thing that caught me slippin..
It’s this one thing, I want to admit it..
It’s this one thing and I was so wit it…
The soles of the regularly worn sneakers met the pavement in rhythm to the instrumental of the mix that played. Yahya smirked at the smooth blend of the two songs. Greeting the few people he passed, he made his way to his favorite spot for loaded teas. The headphones on his head made him feel as if he stood inside the song. The words floated around him as he moved his shoulders softly whilst nodding.
Pushing the glass door open, he was hit with a rush of cool air and the aroma of faint sweetness. Light bounced off the tiled floor to add to the brightness of the room. Soft tones danced on the walls and matched the relaxed decor of the establishment. He pushed back a headphone from his ear and softened his music. A smile graced his lips.
“Sup, Ya. How’s it going man?” The asian barista greeted him with a smile. His dark hair was pulled into a bun atop his head as he stood behind the counter. The soft blue uniform hugged his body comfortably, showing off his toned figure. Short sleeves hid the top of the colorful artwork that adorned his left arm. “The usual or would you like to try our new flavor?” He raised an arched brow for added affect.
“A new flavor?” Ya smirked. “You know I’m down for whatever magic you make, brother. Let’s w switch it up.” Xen smiled, clapping his hands together before getting to work.
Ya turned to lean against the counter as he waited for his order. Catching up with his old colleague like usual. He laughed at a joke that Xen said as he looked to the door that notified the entry of another customer. His eye caught her hips hugged by the sundress she wore. But when he caught that smile..
“Whoa..” He breathed the words just loud enough for Xen to hear. “She’s beautiful.”
“Who?” The barista raised an eyebrow and followed his line of sight. A smile caught his lips and he sat the finished drink on the counter. “Ohhh, beautiful she is. Why don’t I introduce you to her?” He lifted a hand to the smiling woman that had bent down to coo at the toddler of a customer close to the door.
Once she stood, her eyes found them both at the counter. She smiled bigger as she approached. Ya couldn’t help but return the expression. As she got closer, he noticed the light catch the glint from her septum ring. “Xen. How is the world treating you today, brother?” Her full lips were glossed and he took in every word she spoke.
“I’m doing amazing, actually. I got a workout in before my shift, I have a date tonight, and my good friend came to see me.” Xen gave a gentle tap to Yahya’s shoulder. “Yahya, meet Yana. She’s good friend of Samaria. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding.”
Yana held out a hand, meeting his eyes for the first time. Ya felt his heart skip a beat as he accepted her soft touch, losing himself in a trance. The song he was listening to earlier was hushed and on repeat. He felt like this was a scene in a movie. Her lips moved but he didn’t hear the words leaving them.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Yahya.” Her words finally broke through with a giggle. Ya snapped from his admiring with a nervous chuckle, rubbing his neck once he freed her hand. Mumbling a ‘Sorry’.
“Uh, you can just call me Ya. If you’d like?” He grinned, standing up straight. Xen coughed to cover his laugher, getting a quick side eye from Ya. Sending him off to fix her usual order with a smirk. Yana had amusement in her eyes as he nodded, repeating the nickname.
“Ok, Ya. I like that name. It rolls off the tongue..” She looked up at him through her lashes. “How long have you known Xen?”
“We were good friends in college. Shared an apartment together the last two years of college.” He explained. “He’s the reason I got through Calculus II.”
“He is a wizard with numbers.” She added in. Getting a theatrical bow from Xen. They all laughed as he placed her drink on the counter by Ya’s. She thanked him with an excited squeal as she paid. After declining Xen’s offer for it be on the house. “I always look forward to my drink for the day.”
“Me too. I hate I can’t get over here more often.” Ya took a sip of his. Giving a hum of approval. “But i make sure to find time out the week to come over and visit.”
After a few minutes of conversation, the bell dinged to introduce a group of customers. Moving both Ya and Yana off to the side by themselves. She looked off for a moment and he got a glimpse of her close up. Her features were soft and he wondered if her skin felt as soft as he imagined. The scent of her perfume was soft and similar to strawberries. He loved it.
“Sorry, if I’m being to forward but..” He cleared his throat before straightening up. Mentally encouraging himself. “Would you allow me treat you to dinner sometime? Just a night of me proving myself to you.”
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chapter 128 thoughts!
a little late because i have been fighting for my life against sleepy bitch disease all week but HERE WE GO
Right off the bat, the little power level rankings for everyone are such a cute visual while also being a great way to quickly and immediately get across some super important and interesting info about everyone's capabilities going into the chapter. I won't comment on everything but there is some stuff I want to make a note of before going into things!
Ruby's acting skills being ranked as D and accordingly as her biggest weakness is pretty interesting. I was worried that might be left hanging but I'm glad to see the story continuing to acknowledge how much is riding on the movie's success and how Ruby's acting might not be able to bear that weight. That combined with One Other Thing really does have me start to seriously wonder if we won't have a lead actress switcharoo on our hands at some point in the future.
Melt's acting skill being ranked as B (the same level as Aqua, even!) made me go <3. He really has come such a long way from where he first started and the blood, sweat and tears he wrung out of himself during Tokyo Blade seems to have really paid off. Melt, my beloved!!!
Moving onto the chapter itself, I was really surprised to see Aqua playing Kamiki! I guess I shouldn't be with how hard that family resemblance has been played up but for some reason, I was really certain he was specifically playing Ryosuke, not Kamiki... I guess because it was originally stated he was 'the culprit'? Anyway, Aqua playing Kamiki is part of why I'm starting to wonder if either he or Ruby will end up backing out of their roles – having a pair of twin siblings play a real life couple who Definitely Fucked seems like the sort of things that uh, might put a dampener on the movie's intended reception, just from an in-universe perspective!
This chapter also finally gives us a name for the Crow Girl - Tsukuyomi! I felt SUCH a thrill when I saw her use that name because I had wondered last chapter if her pointed reference to the moon might be some indication that's who she was but at the time it felt like a stretch, so I didn't voice it. Gah, I should've put it in my chapter thoughts so I could be extra smug about calling it!
In general, I'm really surprised by how many of my long-term issues with OnK were specifically touched on in this chapter to a really eerily specific degree lol? But holy shit! Somebody actually acknowledging the huge bombshell of Aqua and Ruby's connection to Ai! Akane, specifically, finally fucking acknowledging that Ruby was also traumatized by her mother's death! Akane acknowledging Ruby exists at all!! Akane interacting with characters that aren't Aqua!!! Thank god!!!
I'm also becoming increasingly curious about the DVDs the kids saw. They're a pretty transparent retcon and I imagine we'll eventually see them for ourselves but I'm still itching to know wtf Aka was even cooking when he added them.
For all that was good about this chapter, though, I do have a pretty major issue with the way a lot of the emotional stuff is being skimmed over purely to not let the reader in on the content of the movie too early. This info isn't necessarily new to all the characters but there are some major bombshells about the culprit and Ai's relationship with him that we get no commentary on from the characters.
The biggest and most baffling missed opportunity here is Taiki, honestly??? Based on what Aqua says to him and the fact that Frill is going to be playing Airi Himekawa we can probably guess that her abuse of Kamiki will be laid bare in the movie. If that's the case then Taiki has just found out, possibly just from this fucking script, that his mother is a child rapist and he himself is a product of rape. The fact that we do not see any emotional response from him about this information beyond "that's on my mom you caught her slippin" genuinely fucking blows my mind! Completely insane!!! Was there really absolutely no space in the story for Taiki to have literally any time or room to process an incredibly traumatic dump of information like that???
that said, for my complaints... I won't pretend it didn't kick me in the gut to see Ruby all dressed up as Ai on that final page. Definitely her mom's daughter.
Break next week..........................................
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Some clarification on the FotD series.
A fan complained that the plot of my "Fantasy of the Day" series for the BCS/McWexler fandom was really hard to follow. And that's... not their fault at all; the plot is hard to follow because there really isn't one singular plot.
The Premise: The first thing that you need to understand, is that the FotDs are just fluff-n-angst snippets I pull out of a proverbial hat. Usually, I come up with the idea for a scene which would look cool, and fill out the details of the backstory later. So if one of the stories in my posts comes across as vague or self-contradictory, that's why; I'm making it up as I go. And usually instead of better explaining a premise, I'll just move onto another one.
The Setting: Season 1 of my "Slippin' Kimmy" fanfic has a more set-in-stone story arc: In a single sentence, Kim joins a cult. Season 1 is set in rural Wyoming between the fall of 2016 and the spring of 2017, but most of the FotDs are set anytime between 2017 and Kim's eventual death. I have no strong opinions yet for what should happen in Season 2, and so the FotDs are all just spitball ideas for plots which might happen. It's a running gag how frequently Kim is forced to uproot her life and move to a new city, so an FotD might be set anywhere in the world.
The Main Character: Kim has been promoted to the occupation of "fixer" in the Breaking Bad universe. Her updated business card reads "Wexler-McGill: Image Consulting", but her services run the gauntlet of: off-the-record legal advice, schmoozing politicians and business people, orchestrating media circuses and publicity stunts, hiring hacktivists, delivering mysterious packages, laundering money, bookkeeping for philanthropic organizations, bodyguard work, P.I. work, sabotaging weapons manufacturing facilities, organizing protests, smuggling Mifepristone and Estradiol into red states, renovating and flipping failing shopping malls and entertainment venues, and much more miscellaneous espionage. Assassinations are a line which Kim will never cross willfully, but she is frequently caught in the crossfire when white-collar criminals try to take eachother out.
The Romantic Lead: Jimmy's story is over, but he's not willing to ever leave her, so he has no choice but to come along for the ride. He's finally living the dream of going into business with his wife, and he joins her on roughly half her adventures, but at this point excitement is something he could take or leave. He takes pride in playing the role of the homemaker, and his love for his children often motivates him to be the voice of caution. He supports and agrees with Kim's so-called "Revolution" - the subversion of unjust laws, the redistribution of wealth, the sabotaging of hate-groups - but whenever the heat gets too hot, he will make the tough but pragmatic decision for one or both of them to go into hiding again. Kim is wearing some golden plot-armor in this story, but Jimmy's mortality looms over almost every FotD. Not only does Jimmy simply want to make the most of how ever much time he has left, but there is a palpable threat that sooner or later he will be stuffed into a freezer for the sake of creating drama for Kim. If they could have it their way, they'd explore the cosmos forever as a pair of ageless trickster gods, but the spouses both know that in all likelihood she will outlive him.
The Prodigy: In this spin-off, Jimmy and Kim have two children; Iris and Fille. The oldest child, Iris, is barely even my OC; they are the most obvious answer to the question "What would the McWexler baby be like?". All their best and worst qualities in one precocious brunette imp. Quick-witted and silver-tongued, a born performer with sticky fingers, both figuratively and literally. Iris comes out as non-binary in their preteens and is accepted pretty immediately, but for the record any FotD which refers to Iris as "she/her" is canonically an example of their parents misgendering them because they didn't know any better. While Kim is out doing her adult career of... being the protagonist in an AMC series, Jimmy and Iris spend most days doing their best impressions of Moses Pray and Addie Loggins. Admittedly, Jimmy could be doing more to teach Iris respect for the rules as well, but there's something more sinister going on with the dynamic between Kim and Iris. Kim wants Iris to be prepared for whatever life throws at them, and to a certain extent she wants to see Iris continue her work, and because of that Iris shoulders a heavy burden. Kim is for the most part vindicated; Iris grows up to be a survivor and a forager, even as a drought deals a killing blow to American democracy, and they do follow in their mother's footsteps as best they can, but it's still bitter-sweet.
The Black Sheep in a Family of Wolves: Like I said, the FotDs are just random snippets pulled anywhere from a broad-strokes timeline, and because of that the ages of the children vary wildly. However Fille (pronounced "Philly") is consistently written as being two years younger than Iris, and in many fantasies, the children are between six and four. Even at an early age, not much is known about Fille because she is an introverted child, but as she gets older, this evolves into being a clear foil to Iris. Where Iris will talk your ear off, Fille listens patiently and only speaks up when something is truly wrong. Where Iris will bend the truth just for fun, Fille's silence should never be interpreted as a love for secrets. Iris's moral code is flexible so long as altruism and self-interest overlap; Fille's morality is rigid to the point of being childish, but at least it keeps her out of trouble. Iris loves meat, whereas Fille... honestly, Kim respects Fille's conviction to vegetarianism... but it was a phase Kim went through once upon a time too, and she grew out of it.
The Villain: This is probably where most of the confusion is stemming from. In Season 1 of SK, Caleb Dawson and the Riverton Unitarian Interfaith Church are the antagonists, but by the end of the season, Dawson is dead, his henchwoman Mary is at large, and Kim has taken control of the Church's resources. I haven't quite decided what will become of the loose thread with Mary, but the Church's money and credibility will only last until shorty after Fille is born (2 years). Beyond that point, I don't have any specific Big Bads lined up. Kim will follow the trajectory of getting into bed with shady characters (this time to push an agenda), enjoying working with/for this client for a stint, then eventually having to defeat them in a battle of wits when the alliance goes sour but the villain won't let Kim back out of her contract because she knows too much. Let's face it; this was always Breaking Bad's formula. When it comes to the FotDs, sometimes I'll just steal villains-of-the-week wholecloth from other similar tv shows.
The Vibe: The villains all blur together after a while for Kim. As do the schemes she does, both for and against them. Just like the places she visits: one night she might be seeing opera in Tokyo, the next she and her family have had their assets frozen and are sleeping in their car. One night, they're caretakers of a too-trusting hippy's goat farm, the next she's alone sleeping on the cold cement of some kingpin's dungeon. The point of the FotDs is to juxtapose the opulent world of murder and intrigue with the peace and quiet of the domestic life Kim is trying to defend against all external threats. In her most caricatured form, Kim Wexler is a 90's pantsuit archetype who, by some cosmic mistake, lived to see the 2020's. She's a pragmatist; she knows what she values and she keeps her attention on those things. In "Better Call Saul", she never quite figured out a good work-life balance, but last time around, she had put her faith in institutions which didn't value her time or share her priorities; this time she's only trusting herself to manage the resources. The American Dream may be crumbling, but she is still determined to "have it all".
@somethin-stupid-67 @joshgoodman @slippinximi @richeeduvie
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hear me out. hear me out. saul goodman x reader where the reader works for him, right? but it's just saul jacking off to the thought of reader who he's been lusting after ever since she started working for him. maybe she walks in and catches him by accident and they have really cool office sex.
content: blackmail (not the way you think), male masturbation, age difference, boss/employee relationship
WC .9k
Late nights at the office used to be reserved for work, he was a bit of a crook but he was nothing if not a hard worker.
Unluckily for him, his night hours had been somewhat occupied since he hired his new assistant.
She was young, too young for him. A recent graduate of law school, she had been vying for any experience she could find in the industry. He's embarrassed to say, he decided to hire her the second he saw her.
There were other women before, but after his most recent wife it was mostly hookers taking up his time.
She was different, sharper than she looked. He was delightfully surprised to find she was actually very useful around the office because he didn't even bother to check her resume.
It was a good thing that she was helpful because she was a serious distraction for him.
After he sent her home it was like her presence was still in the air, he could never help himself. He checked the locks, watching her car leave the lot before he retired into his office for his nightly routine.
When he noticed the scarf she was wearing that morning in the lobby, he knew it was his lucky day.
His belt was off and the last few buttons of his dress shirt were undone to make it easier to roll up his shirt.
By the time he even touched himself his cock was already hard and leaking in his lap, practically begging for attention.
This wasn't right, he needed to be working right now. He had already spent a good portion of the day fantasizing about bending her over his desk and running his rough hands over the smooth expanse of her legs as he pushed her skirt up over her ass.
He already knew she wore lace underwear as he had caught a glimpse of it once when she bent over to pick up a paper he had dropped. That was a benefit of his age, she never thought anything when he asked for her to bend down and pick something up for him. In reality he was perfectly capable but he would never pass up a chance to see up her skirt.
When he imagined fucking her, he imagined keeping the lace panties on, pushing them to the side just enough so he could slide his cock into her. That way he could snap the waistband against her delicate skin and watch as a faint redness appeared.
He was so caught up in the fantasy and the slick sound of his hand gliding over his cock, that he didn't hear the knock on his office door.
He also didn't hear the subject of his fantasies walking into the room tentatively, shaky on her high heels after a long day on her feet.
“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry,” she gasped when she saw him. Despite her sentiment, she didn’t take her eyes off him. Her pupils were wide in the dim room, drinking in the sight of him sprawled out in his luxurious office chair.
"I left my scarf." Her eyes were now drawn to his hand, where he was clutching the aforementioned scarf.
He nodded, eyes wide, at a loss for words. How was Slippin' Jimmy gonna get himself out of this mess?
"Ew," she giggled, sauntering across the office to stand in front of him in a way that almost seemed taunting. "Are you jerking it right now?"
"I was," he replied gruffly, slowly unwinding his fist from his cock so he could pull his pants back up.
She took the scarf from his hand, very aware of what he had been doing and what he had been thinking about. "Kinda perverted," she teased.
"I'm really sorry, what can I do? I'll give you paid time off? How about a big Christmas bonus?" He scrambled to make things right, he'd offer her just about anything not to spill about what she had just seen.
"Pull your pants back down first of all." Her nails curled into the band of his boxers, carefully tugging them back down and exposing him to the stale air of the office.
"Is this ok?" she asked, her hand delving down to his cock and stroking it teasingly slow.
"Yeah. FUck, that's great," he groaned, hand tangling into her hair when she fell to her knees in front of him.
"Yeah?" she sighed, her tone light and breathy. The question was clearly ironic, since she could taste the salty precum beading at the tip of his cock when she sealed her lips around it. The evidence of his arousal for her.
He had no excuse now, not that he really needed it.
"God, this is so dirty. I cant believe this is happening." His head tipped back, eyes snapping shut when she tongued a particularly sensitive spot on his shaft.
She pulled back, letting a glob of split fall from her mouth and onto her hand that was still clasped around him. "I still want that bonus," she said before crawling into the office chair to straddle him.
"You can have whatever you want if you let me fuck that sweet pussy." He growled when she pushed her panties to the side and teased the head of him with her warmth.
"I don't want to be your assistant anymore, I want to be an associate." Her stare was sharp, she was serious about this. He wasn't sure how she was still thinking so coherently, because he sure wasn't.
"Yeah yeah, sure whatever." He wasn't sure if he would actually grant her request but for now he would entertain it because he was so close to being inside of her and he wasn't going to stop now.
#saul goodman smut#saul goodman fanfic#saul goodman#saul goodman x reader#jimmy mcgill#jimmy mcgill x reader#better call saul#breaking bad#brba#bcs fanfic
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thinking about and considering, street urchin Suzie Q who grew up on the streets on her own. Good at slippin up getting caught but better at weaseling her way out of situations.
Having a buncha run in with Caesar while he was also a street kid. Sure Caesar can throw a mean punch, but theres none like Suzi that can embarrasses him in front of all the other street punks by runnin off with his wallet or whatever he’s just stole or gotten in a fight over.
So when Lisa Lisa scoops a young 15 year old Caesar off the street, and notices Suzi getting into trouble with local vendors and such. Caesar may or may not make a few rude comments about the little “rat” that causes problems. Next thing they know Lisa Lisa has stepped in and its taking Suzie back home with her to the Island. Suzi and Caesar are basically raised together. Caeser takes up hamon training while Suzi only ever takes on the basics. Suzi and Caesar fight a LOT, especially suzi who has no family finds out Caesar has left his younger siblings behind for some “grand family honor”.
Suzi goes from a lil punk, borderline joseph like personality, and matures a lot with the guidance of everyone on the island. She works her to prove she belongs there as she isnt a hamon warrior (though Lisa Lisa insist that she doesn’t have to push herself to be able to stay on the island) Suzi is clumsy and struggles but she tries her best to help out where she can as a caretaker.
Someone like joseph who hasnt known suzi a long time would be shocked to know the kind of shit she used to get up to when she was younger, and even more shocked at the language and mean streak she can still pull out. Which is usually only direct at Caesar, she wont hesitate to throw a figurative or literal punch his way when he starts being a dick.
[Commission Prices] [Etsy]
#pillar fam#TECHNICALLY apart of this au#because its all p2 rewrite for the most part#jojo#jjba#suzie q#Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli#lisa lisa#joseph joestar
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is there something I missed with the Kim earring flashback? I only saw it once but I didn't look deeper yet at what it conveys about her. I just remember it as being kinda off because I always liked Jimmy being her introduction to scamming others
re: your last sentence, that's kind of my quibble with people who say that that scene = slippin' kimmy. shoplifting is a bit of rule-breaking, sure, but it's not "scamming" of the same caliber that she and jimmy engage in now. shoplifting is just taking something and walking out while trying not to get caught, whereas to me, the defining feature of their "scamming" is the manipulation of people into giving them what they want. (in fact, with a lot of jimmy and marco's scams in particular, the beauty of them is that their mark walks away feeling like they're getting away with something.)
kim isn't scamming in the flashback, she's just shoplifting, and is clearly uncomfortable when caught. kim's mom, on the other hand, is much closer to mcwexler-style scamming when she gives her whole performance to the store manager, resulting in him letting kim go with only a warning and her walking out of the store with the earrings anyway.
but kim's reaction to her mom's scamming is not positive. she initially reaches out to take her mom's hand when they're walking out of the store, seeking maternal comfort, but then yanks her hand away when her mom starts laughing and she realizes that the whole thing was a performance. she doesn't react to her mom's impressed "i didn't know you had it in you," nor to her "relax, you got away with it." personally i had two main takeaways from this:
i actually don't view this scene in itself as an illustration of kim's "dark side"; on the contrary, i think there is a heartbreaking innocence to the scene. she's just a kid who did something wrong and is, initially, clearly fearful of punishment; but then when that punishment doesn't come, she is actually hurt, because it is just another disappointment coming from her irresponsible and seemingly callous mother. there is nothing particularly telling about a kid shoplifting a small item, but there is something very telling and extremely sad about a kid shutting down in the face of their parent's abnormal and immature behavior.
ok, having just defended young kim from the popular interpretation that this scene reveals her "dark side," now let me explain how this does reveal adult kim's dark side. because of course, even though she worked hard for many years trying to get away from home and away from her old life and build a new life as an attorney at a big blue law firm where she works hard and plays by the rules to get ahead, she eventually starts scamming with jimmy. real scamming, not just shoplifting. sometimes they scam to make a rich d-bag pay for hundreds of dollars of tequila, and sometimes they scam to give her bosses a slightly larger bank branch, and sometimes they scam to ruin lives. throughout it all, it seems that kim only really takes issue with something if she isn't in on it. this is illustrated when she participates in the entire scheme against kevin, then nearly breaks up with jimmy forever when he initiates the final confrontation without her knowledge/approval.
in the flashback with young jimmy, he has a seemingly inborn (precocious, at the very least) awareness of others' duplicity. young kim doesn't. young kim is taken in by her mother's performance, just as she gets taken in by jimmy's performances a few times throughout the series, and is then made to feel like a fool afterwards. i wouldn't be surprised if that brings particular hurt to those moments for adult kim - she isn't just experiencing the standard betrayal of having been lied to, she's specifically feeling like a little kid again, powerless.
and conversely, doing that to others makes her feel powerful. and that's the dark side. that's the arrangement she has with jimmy: we can play anybody but each other. we can make anybody the sucker but each other. i'm sure it will all end well
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There's so much speaking to me in this season of BCS.
Howard watching a visual representation of the effort he's putting into mending and rebuilding his relationship get spilled haphazardly on the counter. Cheryl doesn't even clean it up--he has to wipe away his failed attempts at reconciliation himself. I felt that in my entire soul.
Kim making a short-sighted and selfish decision because for once she feels joy and she's clinging to it with all she has, hurling everything into the con, until the consequences come waltzing in. It's all fun and games until they're shoving the corpse of your colleague into your fridge. That all-consuming guilt is a familiar language to me. I've been speaking it for years now.
And Jimmy. Jimmy cannot for the life of him change. Cannot grow, will not grow. Jimmy courts disaster and disaster wrecks him within an inch of his sorry life and he walks away saying, "I will learn nothing from this." No matter the losses, no matter the destruction, no matter who is caught in the crossfire. I will learn nothing from this. Would really love to grow, but unfortunately I have decided that I'm doomed to be Slippin' Jimmy until the day I die. That's the most me. Stagnation and old patterns and learning nothing from the consequences.
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(PnF/MnT)Sie Sie Sie - Église des Gémeaux
If you know Thomas Fletcher from Marie & Thomas then this is a song I wrote for him to sing. I wrote it while listening to a bunch of rap music so, I went for a kind of slam poetry meets rock n roll vibe. I am not a song writer by any means so, again, slam poetry more than a song.
I headcanon Thomas sings in German(aka Drusselstein-ian) but, I can’t rhyme in German so, this was written in English with a German google translation.
If you have anything to say about the song or my headcanons feel free to leave a comment ;>
*Disclaimer: Light swearing(aka damn/hell/screw it)
Sie Sie Sie(You You You) - Église des Gémeaux
English
I tighten my grip on his wrist, and I feel my heart skip
Bright are his eyes, and that shine on his lips
I ramble in my head but, my words are on the tip
Of my tongue, that's dry, I'm hypnotized and my rhyme about to slip
She's sweet, like a treat, that I wanna eat
She grins my way, and I'mma bout to over heat
I try to smile back but, I know I can't compete
With her pretty face, and those dimples, that pop up from underneath
He's beautiful, she's cute, and I go mute
More silent than a criminal caught up on a roof
They make me loose my head, leave me lost without a clue
So I take his hand and pull him to my side
I don't think about it as I press her lips to mine
To hell with any damn thought that finds it way into my head
They ain't even real, fake, made up, only present in my bed
He's beautiful, she's cute, and I go mute
You can hear the way I'm slippin' if ya really need proof
If I saw them on this stage, world couldn't tell what I'd do
My feet be on the floor as my guitar falls to the ground
You'd have to make room for what be about to go down
Don't know what they'd look like cause I never think it through
Okay, screw it, that's a lie cause I only ever think of you
I tighten my grip on your wrist, and I feel my heart skip
Bright are your eyes, and that shine on your lips
I ramble in my head but, my words are on the tip
Of my tongue, that's dry, cause you make me forget
You're sweet, like a treat, that I wanna eat
You grin my way, and I'mma bout to over heat
I try to smile back but, I know I can't compete
With your pretty face, and those dimples, got my lines on repeat
You're beautiful, you're cute, you're the voice in my mind
You're the reason I sing and these pages have lines
You're my mental track, skippin' on the beat
You never slow down, and I never get sleep
You're not 'him', and you're not 'she'
You're nothing like 'them' or anything in-between
You're just 'you', that image in my dreams
I know your name that I might just scream
German
Ich fasse sein Handgelenk fester und spüre, wie mein Herz aussetzt
Hell sind seine Augen, und das glänzt auf seinen Lippen
Ich schweife in meinem Kopf ab, aber meine Worte sind auf der Spitze
Von meiner Zunge, die ist trocken, ich bin hypnotisiert und mein Reim ist kurz davor zu rutschen
Sie ist süß, wie eine Leckerei, die ich essen möchte
Sie grinst mich an, und ich bin kurz davor, mich zu überhitzen
Ich versuche zurückzulächeln, aber ich weiß, dass ich nicht mithalten kann
Mit ihrem hübschen Gesicht und diesen Grübchen, die darunter auftauchen
Er ist schön, sie ist süß und ich werde stumm
Leiser als ein Verbrecher, der auf einem Dach gefangen ist
Sie lassen mich meinen Kopf verlieren, lassen mich verloren ohne eine Ahnung
Also nehme ich seine Hand und ziehe ihn an meine Seite
Ich denke nicht darüber nach, während ich ihre Lippen auf meine drücke
Zur Hölle mit jedem verdammten Gedanken, der mir in den Kopf kommt
Sie sind nicht einmal echt, falsch, erfunden, nur in meinem Bett vorhanden
Er ist schön, sie ist süß und ich werde stumm
Du kannst hören, wie ich ausrutsche, wenn du wirklich einen Beweis brauchst
Wenn ich sie auf dieser Bühne sehen würde, könnte die Welt nicht sagen, was ich tun würde
Meine Füße sind auf dem Boden, während meine Gitarre zu Boden fällt
Sie müssten Platz schaffen für das, was untergehen wird
Ich weiß nicht, wie sie aussehen würden, weil ich nie darüber nachdenke
Okay, scheiß drauf, das ist eine Lüge, weil ich immer nur an dich denke
Ich festige meinen Griff um dein Handgelenk und spüre, wie mein Herz springt
Hell sind deine Augen, und das glänzt auf deinen Lippen
Ich schweife in meinem Kopf ab, aber meine Worte sind auf der Spitze
Von meiner Zunge, die ist trocken, weil du mich vergessen lässt
Du bist süß, wie ein Leckerbissen, den ich essen möchte
Du grinst mich an, und ich bin kurz vor Überhitzung
Ich versuche zurückzulächeln, aber ich weiß, dass ich nicht mithalten kann
Mit deinem hübschen Gesicht und diesen Grübchen hast du meine Zeilen wiederholt
Du bist wunderschön, du bist süß, du bist die Stimme in meinem Kopf
Du bist der Grund, warum ich singe und diese Seiten haben Zeilen
Du bist mein mentaler Track, der im Takt hüpft
Du wirst nie langsamer und ich bekomme nie Schlaf
Du bist nicht 'er' und du bist nicht 'sie'
Du bist nicht wie „sie“ oder irgendetwas dazwischen
Du bist nur „Du“, dieses Bild in meinen Träumen
Ich kenne deinen Namen, dass ich nur schreien könnte
#pnf#mnt#phineas and ferb#marie and thomas#thomas fletcher#marie flynn#thomarie#song lyrics#song#band
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This was so lovely. The yearning and sadness I felt when he denied her, knowing that both of them really wanted to see each other again... I could just see him not being able to get past her while visiting his other clients and bending the rules. Maybe she latches on to that snippet about him playing in a band and spends a couple months visiting bars to watch performances, feeling silly until one night he's actually there on stage... He debates with himself but has to talk to her, and they end up talking/spending the night together genuinely. Gah 💙 This is my hc for this couple haha seriously great work!! So enjoyable!!
headcanons based on Caught Me Slippin' but i do not actually consider this to be a part of the fic, which started and ended in its own post<3 this is just for fun. and yes! thank you so much for the kind words<3
You could never admit to your friends what spurred on your new interest in the city's wild nightlife. And to be really honest, you hadn't even really realised what it was you were doing until a month since your night with Eddie, you found yourself in a bar, sitting in a booth, drinking with friends. A band was playing but you didn't pay it much mind, not after you glimpsed at the musicians at least.
You realised what you were doing when your friends commented n what a pleasant change it was for you to not want to stay at home each night, but that this often might also be a bit extreme. Was everything ok? But, of course, it was. why wouldn't it be?
The band played a cover of some rock song, and you looked over at the guitarist, but there was nothing. Maybe next time.
But how long could you keep on looking?
Eddie knew he had fucked up the moment he had left that godforsaken hotel room. Maybe before even. And every day since, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
If only he had stayed. If only he had run back. If only... If only... If only he wasn't such a fuckwit.
The work had been getting a bit exhausting, but since that night, it was just unbearable. Everything reminded him of you. Every person became a comparison to you. It was unfair. To everyone.
And people around him could also see something was up.
At band rehearsals, Eddie seemed to always be in his head, far away from the music they were practising. But he couldn't tell them. He had never told them about his job. They wouldn't understand.
they had, miraculously, booked a gig one night. it was at a pretty nice bar, known for kickstarting many musical careers over its decades. it should have been a big night, and yet, Eddie couldn't shake that nasty feeling off of him.
he played well, hit all the notes, sang the right words, but his head wasn't really in it. it was with you. it had been months and he could still picture your face perfectly. it was like you were in every crowd, looking right back at him.
he shook his head. no it couldn't be. it was impossible.
and yet... when he looked again...
you smiled right back as the lead guitarist's smile caught your attention. for the rest of the night, his eyes wouldn't leave you. it was as if each word he sang were a private serenade, just for you
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson imagine#fanfiction#eddie munson fanfiction#headcanon#fanfic#fic#imagine#blurb#caught me slippin'
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packgod roast copypasta
BOY YOU WANNA GET LOUD IN THIS BITCH?! SHUT UP BOY, YOU LOOK LIKE A VELOCIRAPTOR IN A CLOGGED TOILET BOWL. BRUH, YOU LIKE AN OFF BRAND BEN 10 CHARACTER NAH, YOU AIN'T BEN 10 YOU STEVEN 9! GET YO ASS BACK BOY! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT EXPELLED FOR BARKING AT YO LUNCH LADY, SHUT YO ASS UP BOY! YOU AIN'T FROM THE JURASSIC PARK, YOU CAME FROM THE PREHISTORIC PLAYGROUND! GET YO ASS OUT BOY, YOU LIKE CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG'D FOSSIL! BOY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WITH YO NASTY ASS?! BOY, YOU BETTER GET YO AUTUMN WAS AN AVERAGE KID THAT NOONE UNDERSTANDS WOAH!!! MOM AND DAD AND GRANDPA ALWAYS GIVING HIM COMMANDS LOOKIN ASS BOY! BRUH, YOUR BALLS DROPPED AND THEN CLIMBED BACK UP BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BOY YOU SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS AN UNSOLVED RUBIK'S CUBE, YOU MADE AN NFT OUT OF YOUR GRANDMA TWERKING ON A PICKLE, YOU TRIED TURNING YOUR DISHWASHER *inhale* INTO A BITCOIN MINING RIG, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A LITTLE MOUSE WHO LIVES UNDER YOUR BED IN A PRINGLES CAN, YOUR MOM USES A JUMP ROPE AS A BELT, YOUR GRANDPA GOT AN EMERGENCY HEART TRANSPLANT WITH A CAPRISUN POUCH, YOUR BARBER LINED YOU UP WITH A WEEDWACKER, YOU HAD ESEX WITH MOBY FROM BRAIN POP IN AN ENCRYPED HTML FILE, UNCLE GOT ARRESTED FOR EATING A BLUEBERRY OUT OF A ORANGUTAN'S ASSHOLE, YOUR SISTER'S CURRENTLY ENGAGED TO A ANTHROMORPHIC DUNG BEETLE NAMED "STEFAN", GRANDPA GOT HELD UP BY A PIGEON WTIH A MOHAWK ON THE SUBWAY, YOU POSTED A INSTAGRAM STORY OF A JAMAICAN CRICKET GIVING YOU A LAP DANCE IN THE BACK OF TOYS R US, YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO FLIP PATRICK THE STAR'S BELLY BUTTON LINT ON THE DARK WEB TO PAY OFF YOUR HOUSE'S MORTGAGE, YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT YOU A PS5 FOR SUCCESSFULLY DRAWING A TRIANGLE, YOUR GRANDPA'S BUILT LIKE AN EXPIRED CHUG JUG AND YOUR LEGAL NAME IS FANG CLAW FUZZLE WUZZLES! GET YO ASS ON BOY IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH, IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH YOU BETTER GET YO HIPPOPOTAMUS SMELLING, COCOMELON, REGISTERED INTERNET FELON, NASTY AND NEED A CLEANSE, FOSTER HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS, "EXCUSE ME, I ONLY DATE 10S" LOOKIN ASS OUT OF MY FACE BRUH STOP PLAYIN BRUH. ANTS BE USING YOUR GRANDMA'S BUTTCRACK AS A SLIP N SLIDE! IN FACT, YOU FINNA PULL UP TO YO GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL DRESSED UP AS A RABID ORANGUTAN! YO FURRY ASS BOY YOU GONNA "OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! IM SORRY GRANDMA *inhale* OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BRUH, YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH, YOU BE HITTING ON THE GIRLS AT LUNCH TIME WITH YO SACRED MATING CALL, YOU BE STANDING ON THE TABLE GOING "WAAHH! WAAHH! WAAHH!" STOP PLAYING BOY YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH. BOY YOU BETTER GET YO PTERODACTYL, GOOD AT SCRABBLE, SHRIVELED APPLE, ATTRACTED TO BEEF CATTLE, CONCEIVED ON A HORSE SADDLE, YOU DON'T RUN YOU SKEDADDLE, PASTOR DID QUESTIONABLE THINGS TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHURCH CHAPEL LOOKIN ASS BACK BOY YOU BOUTR DIRTY AS HELL! BETTER GET YO "ALL OF YOU HOES~ ALL OF YOU HOES~ YOU DONT REMEMBER WHO YALL TALKIN TO ITS THE DISCORD CEO!" LOOKIN ASS BACK OUT OF MY FACE, BOY YOU BOUT DIRTY AS HELL! GET YO LIL DIGGITY DIGGITY ASS ON BOYYYY!Alright now lemme get back in ya head. You look like a discombobulated philosophical butt-flake disabled Crip-walking crawfish half-eaten autistic autobot doin’ the cha-cha slide with seventeen naked mole rats in your basement, your grandmother got raped by a crouton with a Gucci belt in northern Idaho boy. Shut your dirty ass up boy, I swear to God I’m really gonna get to the slackin' and rackin' and dickita-dackin and flippin' and rippin' and dippin' and slippin' and pippin and dippin' and rippin' and tippin' in ya fat ass, your name is DJ Trunks, more like DJ Skunks cause you smell like poop, you ugly ass bitch, you are dirty like shit. I caught you at picture day dressed up like a clown with no hair, said [singing some song that I don’t know mockingly], started singing Japanese songs to your girlfriend saying “Oaku, amanatai, amanakinasai-ya”. And then she bitch slapped you with a frying pan and licked your testicles and said “anuminum OKRRRR”. DUMBASS BOY, run that shit back.
Listen to me right now, Trunks. Tell me why you and your family did a GTA 5 heist on the T grizzly’s diamond-fuckin’-encrusted testicle, my boy, you look like a double-dipped, chocolate chip, cleft-lip, charcoal slim jim with a gargamel nose, a Mr. Crocker hunch back, no fuckin’ feet, nine-arm, seven-stomachs, two ball fades, your stepdad beat you with a whiffle ball bat. You’re curled up into a ball like an autistic bakugan. You live in a sophisticated mud hut, your washing machine is a bucket of water that you shake, and you brush your teeth with your grandpa’s back scratcher and you floss your teeth with zipline cables. I caught you jerking off in a porta potty with a Thanos gauntlet on while your grandmother got **simultaneously** buttfucked by a clan of chimpanzees dressed up as The Wiggles while she was snorting cott- fucking, Keemstar’s cotton candy Gfuel off of the back of a dirty toilet seat my boy, you are really ugly like shit. You are a walking glitch, “dJ tRuNkS”. Every time your Dad asks you a question at dinner, you say “okay, DRRRRRRRR”, and start fuckin’ lagging, you fuckin ugly ass boy, you breathe like shit boy, ugly ass boy. And I caught you giving a reverse cow rimjob to your tickle-me Elmo doll, and that bitch was like “Elmo! AUListen, listen, tell me why your math teacher made a diss track on you, he said “Yuh! DJ Trunks’ mom smellin’ like a skunk! I slipped the D-D-D-D-D, J, in his mama’s trunks!” Dumb ass boy! Now I’m really gonna get to the rippin, dippin, slippin and flippin. You look like a level 37 fucking Garchomp with an extendo-clip overbite. Your grandmother’s casket is a cheesesteak wrapper, and your grandfather got cremated in an easy-bake oven. NYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM. You are weird like shit, boy, now I’m really gonna get back in ya head. You live in a fuckin ostentatious orange, and your grandfather looks like a fuckin, uh, butt flake with Alzheimer’s that can’t remember his butt flake children. You are weird like shit, boy, run that shit back.
HH”, DUMBASS BOY run that shit back. Say something.SHUT YO FUCKING ASS UP BRO GOT A VELOCIRAPTOR FOR FREE BECAUSE YO MAMA IS SO NASTY THAT SHE BOUGHT A FUCKING COMMERCIAL TO LISTEN TO IT FOR 10 YEARS. *inhales* SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MOM AND DAD WERE SO DUMB THAT THEY FALL INTO A SUGAR PICK ME BRO AINT YO REFLECTION WENT OFF BECAUSE YOU GOT DIARRHEA FOR 10 MONTHS *Ohio sounds* SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MAMA WAS SO FAT THAT SHE USED A DISHWASHER INSTEAD OF A MOTHERFUCKING CRINGE TOILET TO WASH THEIR NASTY BOOGER ROCKETING NOSE *dishwasher sounds* SHUT YO MOTHERFUCKING UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MAMA WAS SO CRINGE THST SHE WENT TO OHIO BUT IT WAS 3 AM AND GOT A SWIRLY BY A STEGOSAURUS AND THEN GOT YEETED TO AMERICAN'S WHO DIED IN 1987 *inhales again* SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BOY YO MAMA WAS SO OVERPOWERED AND CRINGIEST THAT SHE WENT INTO HERSELF AND THEN EDITED HER BRAIN FOR FUN BECAUSE WANTED TO BE DUMB FOR 19 HOURS BECAUSE OF THERMATOLOGISTS*inhales one more time* SHUT YO BUNKO ASS UP BRO YO BROTHER GOT YEETED INTO A MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE CRINGE OHIO LIKE GOOFY AHHH SKIBIDI TOILET ASS YO BOIIIIIII BRRRRRR SHUT YO UGLY ASS BRO UP UP UP DOWN DOWN DOWN FNF OHIO CRINGE HOOVER LIKE A BOOGER BRO WTF, WTFFFFF SHUT YO UGLY ASS IP BRO GOT YO MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE CRINGE WATAKA LIKE AAAAAA SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT A MINECRAFT DIRT BLOCK FROM OHIO SO YOU CAN MAKE A DIRT BLOCK FROM REAL LIFE BUT YO FRIEND SAID. FRIEND: IS THAT ALL'VE YOU GOT BROTHA? SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MAMA WAS A MAALIIIIIICOOOUSSSSSSSS BABY THAT SHE WENT CRAZY LIKE MOM: mamaaa I'm hungryyy gimme some milkkkk SHUT YO UGLY ASS BRO BRO DEADASS, DEADASS I WANT TK LOOK AT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE RIGHT NOW, TELL ME WHATS WRONG?! SPEAK, SPEAK, ALRIGHT NOW BRO THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS BRO SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT INTO THE MOVIE OF BITE OF 83 BECAUSE WANTED TO HOLD YOUR BALLS AND YEET EVAN WHO DIED IN BITE OF 83 bro shut up BOIIIIIIIII OMG YOUR A DIARRHEA POOP GRIMACE SHAKE LIKE BROOOO WTFFF SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT YO MINECRSFT RADIATING RAGE QUIT AS HELL BRO YO MAMA AND DAD AND YO BROTHER SND YO WHOLE FAMILY JUST GOT DIARRHEA BECAUSE YOU PUT FAKE NUTELLA ON THEIR TOILET LIKE MOM: WHAT DID YOU JUST DO SON?! DAD: WE KNOW YOU DID THIS TO OUR TOILET BUCKO. SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO GRANDMA DIED IN A 198 OLD CHAIR BECAUSE WAS TOO HEAVY LIKE AAAAA SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT FAKE HACKS IN SLAP BATTLES IN ROBLOX JUST TO GET BEATDOWN GLOVE LIKE WUD DA HEIIIIIIIII OHHH MA GOD NOWAYYYIEHHHHHHH SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MAMA HAD A DIAPER ON HER HEAD BECAUSE YO MAMA WANTED TO BE A CHEF FOR 10 YEARS MOM: I NEED A DIAPER ON MY HEAD BECAUSE I NEEDED TO BE A CHEF. SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT A SHIT AROUND YOUR UKULELE BECAUSE OF BACTERIA AND MUCUS FROM THE THERMATOLOGISTS *Ohio sounds* SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO YO MINECRAFT DID NOT LOAD BECAUSE YOU GOT MCDONALDS WIFI FOR OVER A YEAR. WORKER: HELLO WHAT CAN I HELP YOU SIR. CUSTOMER: CAN I GET MCDONALDS WIFI?! WORKER: UMM SIR WE DO NOT HAVE WIFI but we got you a new McDonald wifi which costs 100 dollars. SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP LIKE OMGG OMGGGGG SHUT YO FUCKING ASS UP BRO GOT NO COTTON PICKER BRO TRYING TO DING DONG DITCH YOUR FRIENDS AT 3AM BUT GOT A SWIRLY WITH THE GHOST AND THE GHOST KISSED YOUR BUTT BECAUSE SHE/HE WAS A FAN GIRL. BRRRRR SKIBIDI DOP DOP DOP DOP DOP DOP YES YES YES YES YES YES SKIBDIDHWIDNWJJDNWJDIWMNDIWJNE YES YES YES YES YES, SHUT YO UGLY ASS JP BRO CHILL CHILL DEADASS SHIT. BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRO GOT A BRAND NEW IPHONE 15 BUT YOU THOUGHT ITS AN ACTUAL PHONE BECAUSE IT WAS A LEGENDARY BEN 10 TOY WITH SHIT AROUND IT, BRRRRRRRR SHUT YO UGLY ASS SHIT UP BRO YO MAMA BUYED YOU A NINETEEN YEAR OLD GRANDPA TO JUST YEET HER TO THE MOON AND GRT NO CLIPPED IN THE BACKROOMS BOI.
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X-Files, Season 5 Episode 1: Herrenvolk
Season 4, LET'S FUCKIN GO
Couldn't pay me enough to strap a big ass belt and some knife boots on and climb up a pole like that.
I don't trust these blonde white boys.
Homie got stung and fell down, that's why I wouldn't do that job.
"Can't use your gun" Scully pulls out her gun. Silliness.
Mulder with the sneak attack for the win.
Shao Khan's blood was goign back in his body, looks like our boy's not down for the count.
She opened his eyelid like me and my brother used to do to each other to prove the other was fake sleeping. He was like "Surprise bitch, I'm still here"
Save your old ass mom, or see your sister who you haven't seen in forever. Real Sophie's choice, huh Mulder?
What if Mulder's parents and the Smoking Man were swingers?
Are these bee kids?
Black Deep Throat playing into Smoking Man's hands.
This man is pouring gas on him to not get stung by the killer bees. Remember when people would say by 2000 killer bees would take over the earth? Anyone else experience that in their childhood from the 90's?
Mulder got tossed lmaooooo. Gym goals.
Damn Black Deep Throat got caught slippin.
Shao Khan doing some healing work. Good for him.
That was a really good episode. Starting season 4 off with a bang.
Rating: 🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸/🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸
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closed starter for @mortalisla
location: caught you slippin
note: yikesies
This was quite a decent body that the Great Old One had inhabited. What it could do was even better. They were sure that Harellan wouldn't mind all the bloodshed that would occur from their actions. It actually seemed like the hollowborn wasn't fighting much at all. That made this all the easier for them. Nevertheless, embracing the demigod they inhabited as someone of importance was something they would not do. Instead, the illithids all under their command were what they used to their advantage every time they found one of those little stragglers hanging about. This one that they had found though? Well, this one would be fun. A young teenager named Evander, a halfblood, hadn't been their target, but he would be useful in getting to the real target. Really, she wasn't anyone of importance. Just some dreadful human that wasn't even worthy enough to be inhabited by an illithid. Her son was though and he was now under their control.
It was easy to get the poor faiman to do their bidding. A quick call to mom and she was already on her way to see him. Pathetic little humans. All stupid and all useless. The flash of red hair was what they saw first. They started speaking just she came upon Evan and them. "Your son has told me so much about you, Isla. You can think of me as a friend."
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