#she and Rat man are the same

[lookanartdweeb]

You all are cowards "Peach is finally girbossing!" "Peach isn't the damsel!"

Cowards all of you 😔 I was there when it was written

#mario movie #princess peach #also her voice #:/ #tragic #wanna know why cause someone explained it well #THE VOICE ACTORESS IS JUST SPEAKING INTO A MIC #THERE IS NO EMOTION #she and Rat man are the same #i can talk into a mic and get paid #also somehow they made peach the white girl...more white like damn #anyway #luigi and bowser shippers #how are we feeling #cause that was very gay #LMAO #if you take this post seriously #or come at me with some bullshit I will fucking bite your ear off #I'm just speaking into the void #so let me #dweeb talks

[thedreadvampy]

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment. #we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious. #like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe. #but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats) #and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills. #we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home! #and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

[hot-vampire-summer]

shes my specialest rat....

#ratmaker ratmaker make me a rat #man i love her... #i almost made her a clown but then i was like we could do something else about that #she does have the same vibes as one clown i already drew tho lol #i should put bells on that clown

[cosmicrhetoric]

i am still a little in love with new york which is like the only sign that i have ANY naiveite or childlike wonder left in my heart at all (because you need unrealistic wonder 2 love nyc after this much exposure) but idk i was listening 2 the golem and the jinni audiobook (set in 19th century nyc) today and walking around and being like. wow i know that street. it was here 100 years ago and the neighborhood still exists :) and i am here now

#i got to the section where anna takes the golem out dancing and she buys herself an outfit and it was so joyful idk man #like in the same way frodo is still in love with the shire okay #i still think the subway rats are. well not good or charming or anything. but like local flavor #and thats how you know i wasnt born here #ill get jaded in my late 20s give me a few years #the golem and the jinni

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt spiraling upwards side characters again. Charredpelt my absolute beloved

#rat rambles #spiraling upwards #warriors posting #girlies who are trying so soooo hard to support womens wrongs but the wrongs are that their wife is cheating on them #and now she cant even get closure cause said wife is dead along with the man she cheated on her for #like charredpelt isnt stupid she knows these cats too well but thats exactly why she keeps to this day justifying them to herself #all while living as the sole parent to their children #the worst part is that if she had just been properly talked to abt it first she probably would have been ok with it #but she wasnt. she didnt even get the choice to set up boundaries #for the record shes my favorite cragclan cat and has been since she came out as trans lol #shout out to daisystar tho my boy is so cute and also so messed up <3 #and egretpaw and furzepaw ofc get honerable mentions but theyre main characters so ofc I've thought a lot abt them #but yeah for cragclan I deliberately chose out cats I hoped would kill eachother and instead they just got into a bunch of love traingles #and then I made eagle clan with the same goal with a bloodthirsty deputy but then conestar just loved everyone and was loved by everyone #hell the one cat who disliked her at first is her wife now girlie is just sitting here loving her wife and family #I honestly couldn't tell you who my favorites in any other clan is tbh #I do adore most of elmclan but I cant say theres anyone I like that much more than everyone else #like honeystar is definitely the one who caught my attention first due to her hashtag trauma playing out in real time right away #but also thistlepeak and whimsygoose are sooooo silly I love them quiet kitty and their loud rude kitty husband #oh and also pumpkin shes not that deep of a character I just think shes cute #for eagleclan I cannot lie to you I barely remember anyone in there atm but I do love conestar shes so silly #and minkclan is another hard one caus they're the first one I made so I have a lot of love for basically all of them #but blazebelly was my og favorite shes like charredpelt but instead of having a wife cheating on her it never got past a one sided crush #and lightnip is also a current fave of mine shes so mean I love her #ratstar has always been one of my favorites of all the clans tho shes just so silly and incompetent #and shout out to nightfur for being the only cat I've ever seen generate with romantic feelings towards a cat #it was for my default dead cat raincinder who is also a shitty asshole but that just means nightfur is tragic now <3 #oh yeah I should probably provide more exicit context on the clangen stuff huh #basically I made the four main clans in clangen and used the gameplay as a skeleton for backstory and worlduilding #building off of premade characters and concepts has always been one of my favorite things (as seen by how many randomized aus Ive done)

[princesscedar]

Trying to tell mom "hey maybe don't call j ewish people rats even unintentionally" event leaves 10 dead thousands injured

#INCREDIBLE how any time i address mom's casual antis emitism she goes into a tirade like 'oh THEY get to be treated special' like #literally me n the 19 yr old give receipts and she always flies off the handle lol lmao haha #she was referring to the tunnel thing in new york and said 'an orthodox j ewish man climbed out the sewer like a rat' #and me n 19 yr old both 😬😬 and casually lightheartedly say 'hey you probably shouldn't say that abt j ewish ppl' and she took it personal #like we said she said it w/ malice and not the same tone as 'hey don't call a black person a monkey even if you didn't mean it offensively' #and 2 hours later she STILL is on her 'well i think it's an agenda some ppl just try and SAY things are offensive and they're not' mom. #u r LITERALLY black. WHY is this hard for u to understand #she did the same when i said a o t was fascist anti semitic nationalist but she's like 'i read it and i didn't see any of that so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #'if you didn't read it you can't say anything's wrong with it' #same w/ that Witches remake a few years ago and i pointed out the witches were coded as j ewish caricatures in the book #and hopefully it wouldn't happen in the new movie #and she thought it was an agenda to cancel it because the main characters were black now #somehow transferred into talkin abt cops and th3 m ilitary and me saying both should be abolished and now she's like #and how i think it's kinda unnecessary to include blatant mil itary propaganda in a show for 6 yr olds lol #and she's like 'are you saying every cop and military person is bad and evil? should kids w/ parents in those forces never be represented?' #no i literally didn't say every individual is but the organizations need to end at least 90% in my lifetime <33 and no i also don't think #a kid w a soldier dad is the same as a kid with a black dad so no mili tary n cop rep is not the same as poc rep lol she literally said that #and mad that i didn't have THEE solution to replace them like i need to know the exact plan to fix it to point out that they shouldn't exist #anywhooooooo she raises my blood pressure lol <33333 #sentext

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I love my brothheeerrr!

#okay its late night and im sleepy and rambly but #ive been playing x.enoblade3 for the past few hours straight. i am mid final boss. i got bored and sleepy so now i shall go to bed and #finish the fight and game in the morning #and. um. also because i have a crush on a x.enoblade man and i was thinking about cuddling him too much to focus #but!! back to my brother! this post is about r.iku k.ingdom h.earts #thats my little bro!! #he and ash are not biologically related but she works with him and the rat when trying to find a.qua #and they get super close. at first at was just ash protecting v.entus onto him since theyre both around the same age but #ash grows to genuinely love and appreciate him so much. he's such a good kid and i'm just so lucky to be his big sis! #ash rambles 💚 #ash really wants to take him and a.qua on a vacation touring a bunch of different worlds #(also so r.iku can be their personal photographer <3 ash loves her gummiphone posts LMAO) #ok i'm gonna go to sleep! gn! your f/os love you #also. once more. i have SUCH a big crush on m.atthew v.andham and he wont leave my head.. #hopefully tmr i can start his game #i'm uh. totally not excited to see him (lying)

[depresseddepot]

I'm reading the winternight trilogy by katherine arden and I gotta be honest, I am obsessed with whatever fucked up nonsense konstantin has got going on

#sorry in advance if i have any christian followers #but something about watching extremely arrogant and devout christians lose their whole mind when their god isnt real is SO fun to read #like this man really started out as being worshipped as a saint and ended up weeping on a filthy floor for the devil to speak to him again #i JUST started the third book and (spoilers) the way his laughing and cheering at vasilisa's execution turned into like. #choked and panicked sobs #makes me feel some kind of way #yesss priest. lose your faith and then your mind and live haunted by your desire #i hope at the end of the trilogy he breaks so severely that he begs vasya to kill him and she doesn't do it #cause killing a bug under your boot requires you to dirty yourself with them #OR ALTERNATIVELY: he tries to worship her and she's like ''girl WHAT'' and kills him #this man is so fucked up and I am watching him so very closely. like a zoo animal #i never thought i had any preference for villains but it turns out i like the ones that weep and fall from very high places #and love and hate in the same breath #anyways. long story short there's a part of my brain now that is dedicated to priests losing their faith in god so much #that they beg what they think is the devil to return to them #GOOD SHIT ms arden thank u very much #in this house (my brain) we love men that are like pathetic wet rats !!!! kicked puppies !!!! xoxo !!!!

[spriteadjacent]

that coworker is also probably the reason i probably lost some popularity points with my other coworkers lately. because we got our yearly reviews/ratings and i got a very high score and she got a very low one. and the funny thing about that is that she assured me id do well before we got the ratings! but when i actually scored high she was so offended and apparently was ranting to other coworkers about it and im SO SAD i couldnt hear what she said id LOVE to hear her points because when she got her score she immediately started calling out a coworker for brown nosing and like using her fake feminine charm for evil and id just love to hear what she has to say about me. i literally just clock in, do my work, clock out. im not good enough with social cues to play any games and everyone knows it. she is a ball of spite and headaches and im a ball of obviously forced positivity

#sits down. deadpan: hell yeah i love work so much #the ratings dont even matter btw #not even a little bit #usually they affect raises a little bit but thats usually negligible and this year the company just decided to give everyone the same % #shes such a fake snake its hilarious #my favourite work buddy told me that as soon as i left the room after telling her my rating #she leaned over to him and went like. 'really?? that much??' #shoutout to him for immediately ratting her out i love you man

[lysis-luver]

i have a crush on a straight girl.

#im fucking dying #and i hated her for a like 2 years bc shes so much better than me at everything #BUT WHEN SHE SMILES AT ME AOIGH. #. #her face scrunches up and turns red when she smiles its fucking adorable. #and like.. #shes straighg #like #damn #LIKE BRO... #and shes had a crush on the same mystery guy ever since we were in concert band together #thats almost four years #like. #fuck 😭 #this always happens to me #falling for straight girls i mean #like :( #*sad rat man noises* #:((((( #:(((( #sigh #anyways

[chisatowo]

Deep cut origin story is just Shiver realising they're trans and throwing away their she/her prns and Frye and Big man immediately scrambling to steal them for themselves. They have to take turns now 😔

#rat rambles #splat posting #big man vc boss marie say its MY turn with the she/her #just two genderfluid besties and their agender other bestie all who are incapable of using the same pronouns at the same time #the economy is in shambles they could only afford one copy of each 😔 #its ok theyll pool their money together to get an it/its for the pronoun pile too

[coolrobotgrimreaper]

long time no art

#cynthia channel #channelman #psyba rats #dc #my art #color scheme inspired by ms. pac-man but she can also be pansexual #i am like. genuinely not happy with most of the art i've posted in the past few years #(anymore. i liked them when i posted them i think) #I really need to get back to my own style #I think i was trying too hard to draw in the same way [redacted] does #(redacted for their privacy they're not bad or anything)

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

A reunifier, even the dictionary says it's not a word.

How am I supposed to know who takes me home, I've never had one.

#temporary abodes at best #there goes arthur with another dead rat #ELEC #the most patient man I have ever known #God: I don't like Jews they're dirty liars that take credit for that which isn't theirs #sure intake me like I am your food #sorry it took awhile: uh....guess I'm a bard your choices are awful #somehow I still made the correct choice though *shrugs* #me and my money slinger(why did I oh yeah blow) add up to all #that means I hit you with RES at the pool #you: I haven't been this close to her since the NIC #me when she was silent: Speak child! .... oh shit I did it too hard #no date for hoco now don't claim she is your gf when she's not #if she doesn't control the rumor it gets the ax #hi what's your name: that's what the othet lasy said....me: shit #greed? at least one of has it #...greedy over you #felix probably got the full nightmare package being offered #italians or worse are annoying...even more than the dang orange #like I really don't care what search engine I use they're all ablut the same and the same set of breasts is behind them #Christmas of 2014: geez Google I didn't know you were into her that much #you got a Donald Duck from me *shrugs* #20+ years of trying to convince me it's huge *shrugs* two certainly with a lot of ho talk added

[arolesbianism]

Every day I mourn the fact that none of my family and friends give a single shit abt oni lore, I don't wanna keep repeating shit I've already said before on here but every now and then I just remember the horrors™ and nearly explode not being able to scream abt it again

#rat rambles #oni posting #just everytime I think abt olivia's 1500 cycle onwards logs I want to start biting things #shes soooo fucked up and tragic and she doesnt get any closure and she never will and I LOVE it #I fucking love her so much she rewired my brain so hard shes like one of The blorbos of all time #damn you klei you rly know how to make characters that destroy me beyond repair (hi carter twins) #I still find it fun imagining olivia and jackie interacting with the dont starve cast even if they wouldn't like most of them #I have lightly changed my mind on one dynamic tho #I still think that jackie would be stressed out by all the kiddos and would at least dislike them. but. #I do think she could end up kind of getting along with walter #like look at me. she was probably just like him as a kid. she would hate him for it but they could also talk for hours. #hed start sharing fun facts abt his bug collection and jackie would start lecturing him abt ants or whatever and hed think shes so cool #I think olivia still wouldn't like him tho but that's purely because hed probably stress her out #same with the rest of the kiddos I think if you put webber in the room with the two of them theyd both have a breakdown #not because hes a spider solely because hes a little boy who probably just asked them if he can have icecream #and wendy and abby would just be a situation of them not knowing how to talk to kids let alone depressed kids #oh and theyd probably also be stressed out by wurt for basic they dont know how to deal with kids reasons #rly the two would just hang out with wickerbottom and no one else if they could help it #except wanda they'd bother her non stop to the point shed start avoiding them lol #you see Im sure plenty of the cast wouldnt like olivia and jackie either because of just how much they wouldn't take magic as an answer #not that theyd be like no that cant be real cause thatd be magic theyd more likely start sciencing out the mechanics of all the magic stuff #in practical terms while also refusing to call it magic #and worst of all knowing them theyd probably get results because fuck man they brute forced their way into time travel (sort of) so why not #so itd just be maxwell being soooo pissed as the two somehow manage to replicate his spells without the codex #dont let them meet wagstaff then itd rly be jover

[criminalamnesia]

Simon x Reader whose already work with TF 141 for a pretty long time. And one day, there's a traitor around the base, leaking their information. All of the proof are leading to reader but reader always deny it! And they interrogated reader, and reader always deny it! And he's (with other 141 members, of course, but it mostly him) do their torture methods to get information out of reader. They keep doing it until someday, the real traitor finally captured!

And make the reader traumatized, pls. Like, she would have trust issues, trauma, and others. She wouldn't forgive them, tho.

ooooo the angst. had to sit on this one for a few days before I wrote something, but here goes nothing.

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

when you blink open your eyes, the room is dimly lit. it’s silent save for the sounds of your labored breathing.

you must’ve passed out. one second johnny— a man you’d known for years—was slicing into your skin with a knife. the next, you’re staring into an empty room.

your hands jerk up involuntarily. still bound. the rope holding them to the arms of the chair have rubbed them raw. the skin is bright red and bloody. it makes you grit your teeth.

you look down at your lap, taking inventory of the parts of your body you can see. large gashes break up the fabric of your tac pants. the blood surrounding the deep wounds is dry and crusty.

one of the cuts looks like it’s getting infected. you swear you can see bone.

you’d taken this kind of suffering before. been capture by enemies, held and tortured and pushed to the brink of death. this was different. this was being done by your team. men you’d bled with. cried with. laughed with.

one you’d even slept with. the same one you loved. the one you called yours.

the door to the room swung open, hitting the wall with a metal thud. your head slowly lifts, eyes squinting to see him. by his stature, you know it’s simon.

he doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. instead, he walks towards you slowly. as he comes closer, can make out his eyes in the sea of dark paint he smears around them. the same paint you’d helped him apply a time or two.

“back for more?” you say, and it’s meant to sound sarcastic, but all it sounds like is pitiful. your voice cracks, and pain seeps into your tone.

the first rule they’d taught you about scenarios like this was to never let the enemy know it’s working. never let them know that they’re hurting you— that they’re slowly wearing down your defenses.

well, you’d just broken that rule, and you hadn’t even meant to.

you didn’t know how long you’d been tied up, subjected to torture by men you had once called your family. all because a fucking liar whispered your name into their ears. all because they fucking believed it.

apparently the years meant nothing to them. to him, least of all, considering he’d done more damage to you than the rest of them.

simon comes to a stop in front of you. his hands are empty by his sides, but that’s not reassuring. there’s a table full of weapons off to the side. he would have his pick of the litter.

“ready to talk yet?” he says, and his voice is gruff. his tone is hollow. he’s speaking to you the same way he’d spoken to countless enemies. it makes you sick.

“fuck you, simon,” you spit out.

the betrayal of john, gaz, and johnny had hurt. but simon’s betrayal? that was enough to almost put you in the ground.

you’d stopped pleading with them the second they tied you to the chair. now, you were angry. furious. rage filled your veins, and if you weren’t beaten to all hell, you’d find a way out of these fucking restraints and strangle the man in front of you to death.

the man you loved. you’d thought you meant something to him, but apparently not— because who tortures someone they love?

“if you talk,” he ignores your outburst. “it’ll be easier. quick.”

“fuck. you.” you enunciate the words, your jaw impossibly tight as you grit your teeth. “im not the fucking rat.”

“all the evidence,” he starts as he disappears from your vision. you know he’s going to pick his weapon of the hour. you force yourself not to shudder.

“points to you.”

“take that bullshit evidence and shove it up your ass, riley,” you seethe, ropes pulling taut as you lean forward in the chair.

he’s back in your line of sight now, brandishing a large knife.

“you’re only making it harder on yourself, love,” he tuts, and then he’s swinging the knife down, right onto one of your fingers.

you scream as the blade cuts right through skin and bone. your teeth dig into your lip, drawing blood as you refuse to give him more of a reaction. it fucking hurts, but you’ll be damned if you let yourself cry.

“feel like talking now?” he asks, watching as half of your left pinky finger falls to the floor.

“or should we take off another?”

you look up at him, hoping he can see the hatred in your eyes as you speak your next words. “you could take the fucking hand off and I’d still have nothing to tell you.”

“let’s see how true that is then, eh?” he replies, and raises the knife again. he’s about to swing, when someone comes running into the room.

“ghost!”

it’s johnny. he’s obviously winded as he stops beside simon, dropping his hands to his knees as he struggles for breath.

“what, mactavish? im busy.”

“they’re—” he gasps. “they’re not— the— rat.” he says between breaths.

the room goes impossibly still. so quiet you swear you could hear the men’s heartbeats (or maybe that pounding in your ears was your own).

“you sure?” simon’s voice is softer as he lowers the knife and turns to johnny. the younger man nods, his eyes trained on you. you can see the regret in them, the sorrow.

“it’s fucking shepard.”

it’s not funny, but at the news, you burst into laughter. the men stare at you in confusion, but you can’t stop.

you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, and they’re just standing there.

“are you alrigh’?” johnny’s asking as he moves towards you. he’s fully recovered his breath now, and he drops to a crouch to be eye level with you.

you don’t answer— you can’t. you keep laughing. distantly, you hear the knife simon was holding clatter to the ground. can just make out the sound of more footsteps out in the hallway, coming towards the room.

you pass out.

when you wake up again, you’re in the infirmary. your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights.

“easy, love,” a voice to your right drawls.

your eyes are fully open now. you look down at yourself, noticing the lack of bindings. noticing the iv taped to your arm, the stitched cuts, the black and blue bruises, the missing fingernails and missing finger.

the person sitting next to you clears his throat. that’s when you look up and meet the eyes of your captain.

your captain. the man who was supposed to lead you, to keep you safe. what a fucking joke. he’d started the damn witch hunt.

“how d’you feel?” he asks, his words soft, like he’s trying not to scare off a timid animal.

you stare at him for a beat. then two. then you’re moving, pulling the iv from your arm and shakily pushing yourself up in the bed. price is telling you to stop, reaching out to push you back down, but you slap at his hands.

“get the fuck off me!” you shout, and that takes him aback. he stops, frozen, as he watches you shift in the bed. you throw your legs over the side of it and prepare yourself to stand.

“you really shouldn’t—” he begins after he’s regained his senses, but you pay him no mind. you place your feet on the ground and start to stand. your legs wobble, almost give out, but you’re able to stand. barely.

“shut up,” you growl, stumbling forward and towards the exit. he’s moving to cut you off, and you slide him a gaze that’s sharper than a knife. “and leave me the fuck alone.”

he halts again. he seems almost scared of you— but that can’t be right. even on your best days, he would still beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

he’s not scared of your threats or your frail body. he’s scared of what he’s done to you.

just then, johnny and gaz come through the infirmary doors.

“cap, y’alright? we heard yellin’—” johnny begins, but his mouth snaps shut at the sight of you out of bed.

you’re heaving from your spot next to the bed. your legs are shaking violently, threatening to give out any second. you feel nauseous and numb.

“let’s get you back into bed,” gaz says, and he starts towards you, but you stop him as your gaze snaps to his.

“don’t come any fucking closer. any of you.”

“bonnie,” johnny murmurs. he sounds miserable, but you don’t care. don’t give a fuck about how any of them feel.

“don’t. im leaving,” you grunt out, moving a foot forward slowly. you’d be damned if you fell in front of them.

“you can’t, love. you’re in no shape to be walking.” john says, and you snarl.

“and whose fault is that?”

the men stay silent as they watch you slowly shuffle towards the foot of the bed. you’re bracing yourself to walk on your own when simon walks in.

“get back in bed,” his tone is blunt. you ignore him.

you remove your hand from the bed, move to take a step forward without support, and you begin to crumple to the floor.

simon moves forward, quick as a cat, and catches you. he lifts you into his arms bridal style, and you’re screaming hysterically. your limbs are flailing the best they can in such a battered state. you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body betraying your desire to put up a steely front.

your palms slap against simon’s upper body and his masked face. he gives no reaction. he doesn’t say anything. the others are watching the exchange silently. the room is buzzing with tension.

“get off me!” you screech, landing a slap to simon’s cheek. “let me— let me go! let me go!” you’re gasping for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. you’re panicking. your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest.

“put me down! get— get— off me! stop—” you sob.

the doctor rushes into the room then, yelling at the men for allowing you out of bed. you can’t make out what she’s saying over the rush of blood in your ears. you feel light-headed. you can’t breathe.

“put them down, now!” the doctor yells at simon. “they’re having a panic attack— I thought I told you four to stay away from them? they’re too vulnerable right now—” the doctor is chastising them as simon places you back in the bed.

spots are dancing in your vision. you don’t even feel it when the doctor sticks another needle into your arm. the words being exchanged above your head are muffled. it’s like you’re underwater.

john’s face comes into view, then johnny’s, then gaz’s. as your eyes start to close, you notice the only face you don’t see again is simon’s.

when you wake up again, it’s been two weeks.

the doctor had put you into a medically induced coma to allow your more serious wounds time to heal, without risking another episode. unbeknownst to you, the members of your team had stayed by your bedside almost the entire time— minus simon. he hadn’t come within ten feet of the infirmary since the day of your panic attack.

there’s fresh flowers on the bedside table. a steady beeping of the heart monitor. a fuzzy feeling in your head.

it feels like a dream, all of it does. none of it feels real as you settle into your body again. but then the hurt starts, and you remember the truth.

your family betrayed you. your lover betrayed you. they locked you up and tortured you. they didn’t believe you.

when the doctor came to your side to check your iv, she smiled.

“how’re you feeling?”

you look up at her, and it takes a moment for you to speak.

“don’t,” you begin. your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “don’t let them…in here. don’t…wanna see them.”

the doctor nods in understanding, and she doesn’t say anything else to you. she turns and walks out of the room.

the door clicks shut behind her. she lets out a sigh before turning around to face the three men.

“they don’t want to see you.” she tells them, and their expressions drop. they don’t protest, and like wounded puppies, they walk off.

no one else comes to check on you for a few hours.

you’re in and out of consciousness— can’t tell what’s real and what’s a dream. flashes of your torture come back to you. flashes of a smile. of a scarred face. of hands on your hips and—

you crack your eyes open, and the room is dark. the only light is the blinking of some of the machines. it illuminates the room enough to allow you to see a large, dark figure slip from the room. the door clicks shut so quietly it’s almost imperceptible.

that’s when you notice fresh flowers on the bedside table.

your eyes start to droop once more, and you chalk up whatever you just saw to a dream, while simon exhales heavily on the other side of the infirmary door.

————————————————

authors note:

I hope this alright! it’s one in the morning (and I’m half asleep writing this) so I apologize for the errors that are most likely present, and the sense this most likely lacks. I feel like I could write a whole book about this idea, but im cutting myself off to sleep lol.

thank you for the ask, I hope I did your idea justice. 🫶

#angst #simon riley x gn reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley angst #cod mw2 fic #cod x reader #task force 141 #tf 141 #141 x reader #141!reader #ghost x gn reader #gn!reader #ghost x you #ghost angst #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #ghost cod #johnny soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #john price #kyle garrick #john mactavish #mw2 141 #captain price

[reanimatedandmedicated]

various updates and facts about my family

my mother huffed raid bug spray and ate wallpaper paste as a child. my grandfather believes my autistic sibling is an alien and is asking him to provide the winning lottery numbers. my sister tried to kill her boyfriend recently.

My dad is getting married to his seventh wife.

And my little brother (J) is smelting pawn shop jewelry in efforts to make silver bullets to load in .22 casings

My grandfather swears he was abducted by aliens and they modified his cum.

In 2009, he attempted to trade firearms for an alleged crystal skull which he believed contained the blueprints to rebuild Atlantis.

In 2012, my family created a convey of six cars all loaded with guns, ammo, canned food, etc. in order to prepare for the apocalypse. In December of 2012, my grandfather led us to where he believed our family would hold off the forces of evil, a last bastion for our bloodline- A fucking Super8 motel in Forsyth GA.

My mother used to drink blood in the 90s and beat the shit out of football players as a hobby, so she could beef up for roller derby. She raises baby animals, and has more than once attempted to kill a man during intimacy.

All if my dad's ex wives have tried to kill him. He's had attack dogs sicced on him, beaten with a crowbar, chased with a hammer, run over with his own car, and pushed out a vehicle. His new wife was a pen pal he met when she was in jail.

My aunt believes she convenes with the angels when she's hopped up on ambien and percocet, so she's like the goth version of Mama Murphy from Fallout 4.

I was conceived in a crack den in North Carolina. My mother's organs don't like having kids, so much so that both me and my sibling (J) were born dead and had to be resuscitated. In both cases it was due to the umbilical cord playing a game of Hangman.

My little brother (J) taught Igor, our Vulture, to vomit on command. Nobody knows how.

He has been using the infestation of rats at my family's cabin to do... something. He's been running a rat cannibalism fight club, in an attempt to fish out a Super Rat which he plans to do... Something with?

My little brother (M) spends his spare time firing at passing cars. We have managed to make sure he's using BB guns, is the compromise. (J) went through a similar phase when he was an early teen, and would shoot a bow and arrow at the neighbor's house. I did the same with a potato cannon in my youth. It's a tradition.

My dad is missing his appendix. He has no idea where it went and has no record of it ever being removed.

My grandmother reluctantly admitted to having an affair with a ghost in her 40s.

My brother (M) used to love botany. By the age of 6 he could tell you anything you wanted to know about the flora of southeast GA. He had a garden. And he also grew weed for my step-dad until my mom found out. After that he was banned from gardening and picked up junior robotics as a hobby after i gave him K'nex and some Lego Mindstorms stuff years ago. He took apart an air conditioner in a motel once. To this day we don't know what he did with the screws. He builds airsoft guns from scrap and is a mechanical prodigy. He is almost illiterate.

My brother (A) disturbs me. He was raised by the internet and YouTube. He is whatever this new generation is personified. He's frighteningly... Normal.

I am waiting for the shoe to drop and for him to reveal some darkness to him never before seen in my family.

He's just. A normal kid. A little zoomer that watches Mr. Beast and YouTube long plays. He's also the straight man to most of all my family's bullshit. He's dangerously genre savvy. He also has a weird interest in law???

My sister (H) is your average country girl. She's attempted to kill more than one of her boyfriends (will clarify that they were abusive), has totaled three cars and always walks away from these nightmarish accidents unscathed. She was found on the side of the road last year hitting her vape and flagging down a car, while her own was stuck five feet above a ditch in a tree.

She has a job and plans to go to New York to "see what them city twinks got goin' on"

My other little sister (C) is the only other queer member of my sibling roster. She's a lesbian, and enjoys shooting things. Sometimes living things. She, like (A), is dangerously genre savvy and doesn't play into my family's religious fanaticism. She wants to be a firefighter because she is also a pyromaniac and wants an excuse to see "big things burn".

A bit more about (J)- He claims to speak to the dead, and has used this to become my grandfather's right hand man, and the beneficiary of his estate. He is an autodidact, self taught with blacksmithing and metalworking. He dresses well, and also has a hidden laboratory in my grandfather's shed where he has taken a fixation in herbal tinctures and remedies. He knows they're bullshit. But my family buys his potions, and he uses the money to buy pawn shop jewelry and scrap metal to build stuff. He believes firmly in werewolves, and is convinced Furries are a psyop to prepare the general public for their emergence in society. Which is why he's making silver bullets.

I wish to stipulate that not a single word of this is a joke. This is on god, IRL bullshit I have to contend with.

I should probably update this to remove real names what the fuck