#sexually ambiguous but certainly not straight

[teenytinyjimin]

i miss you, i’m sorry (j. jungkook)

nothing happened in the way i wanted

every corner of this house is haunted

and i know you said that we’re not talking

but i miss you, i’m sorry.

summary: the first time seeing each other after the breakup is always the hardest. but seeing each other when you're still in love? an absolute nightmare

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 2k

tags: angst, smoker!jk, brokenhearted!jk, equally as brokenhearted!reader, why did they even break up in the first place?, featuring reader’s bestfriend!jimin, also jimin is sexually ambiguous let's keep it that way please

warnings: none, alcohol/nic use but nothing too intense, kinda sad but it's a happy ending i promise

author’s note: idk why i keep making my fic names and stuff inspired by songs, i guess it just helps me beat writers block.

also i wrote this in second person, lmk if you guys prefer that over third. i personally find third person fics easier to write, but i'm sure second person is easier to read for some of you. enjoy my angels!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Bars weren't really your thing.

If you were going to be honest, they were miles better than nightclubs, but still not your thing. It was something about the air that just rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was all the creepy old men that turned you off of them, or just the fact that there's not much to do besides sit, drink, sit some more, maybe play some pool and... sit.

Jimin, on the other hand, loved bars. He loved being able to sit there, look pretty, and watch as absolutely anyone and everyone flocked over to him to start a conversation. It admittedly fueled his ego, and he loved the feeling of being the center of attention. However, he didn't love being at bars alone. Being so drop-dead gorgeous meant that about twenty times the amount of creeps bothered him than the average bar patron. Many of them figured that a pretty boy like him was sitting there waiting to be swooped up by a sugar daddy. Let's get one thing straight – that wasn't him. He had plenty of money. He just wanted to have a little conversation, give a little kiss here and there maybe, and dip at the end of the night with his bar companion by his side.

Unfortunately for you, that bar companion was usually you. It was certainly a compliment for Jimin to want to bring you along with him instead of any of his other gazillions of friends and other social connections, but it was quite exhausting for you to be in a bar pretty much every day of every weekend. He liked the attention, but you didn't. If it were an empty room with nothing but you and a bottle of rum, you'd have a blast. But what bar in Itaewon was going to be like that?

Alas, here you were, sat at the end of a bar with your friend sitting next to you. Something about the light in the building made him look extra beautiful tonight, his skin shimmering like the most precious of diamonds and his eyes deep and full of allure. At the moment he was making small talk with a lady on the other side of him, one who was definitely at least twenty years his senior but didn't look a day past thirty. Sighing, you drop your head down to look at your drink, a half-full martini glass that held a rather disappointing cosmopolitan (you weren't a vodka fan anyway, it wasn't the bartender's fault).

You wanted to be home. That was the only place you ever wanted to be these days. At home, cuddling your darling kitty in bed, and sleeping your days away. Maybe a year ago you would have loved being out and about, but now it feels more like a burden than a fun activity. And you know that Jimin doesn't mean any harm in doing what he does, but seeing him talk with so many people over the course of the night and being so happy is almost a bit gut-wrenching for you because you can't be as happy as him.

You began to feel the blood rush to your ears and your face get warm. Something was wrong, you could sense it. Everyone has those gut instincts when something isn't quite right, and this wasn't just an instinct, it was like a neon sign. A neon sign that read DANGER. Perhaps it was just you feeling rather anxious and overwhelmed, but either way you were craving the comfort of your home.

"Hey, 'Minnie, can we-" Just as you turned to Jimin to softly ask him if you could go home or at the very least switch bars, you felt a presence behind you. It wasn't just an I'm here to order a drink presence, but rather an I'm here for you one. Realizing that Jimin wasn't even listening anyway, you froze, waiting to see what would happen. And that's when you heard a familiar voice that you thought you'd never hear again.

"Hey."

You didn't want to turn around. You tried to stay as still as a statuette for as long as possible, however the more you thought about the man behind you the more you felt the urge to turn around and take a bite of the forbidden fruit. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned until you were face-to-face with your ex, Jungkook.

"Want to talk outside?" Not yet looking at him directly, you hesitantly nodded before quickly looking back to Jimin and then standing up. You left your purse there, figuring that your friend would grab it if he changed locations, and began trailing after the tall tattooed figure that navigated his way toward the door.

As the two of you stepped out into the cool autumn air, you crossed your arms and leaned against the building. Your heart was between your ears at this point, buzzing at what felt like 200 beats a minute. It was stupid for you to have even left Jimin's side, you thought, because now you were alone with your ex of all people and God knows what this boy has up his sleeve.

"You look good," Jungkook said gently as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. "And I know what you're going to say, you're so full of it Kook, but I mean it."

"Since when have you started smoking?" You asked, ignoring his previous two statements and gesturing toward the pack in his hand. He shrugged. "Couple weeks after I last saw you maybe? Not a big deal."

"You know that stuff's bad for you."

"I don't think sitting here third-wheeling with Jimin and his beau of the night is any better."

"You don't know Jimin, don't act like you do," You said, completely taken aback and offended by the words coming out of his mouth. "And I'm having a good time, thank you very much."

"Doesn't seem like it. Weren't you about to ask him if you guys could leave?"

"I was having- What?- Is there a reason you asked to talk to me out here?" You were struggling to form a complete sentence. This man always knew how to leave you speechless, but now it was just irritating. You watched as Jungkook leaned back onto the building with you and shook his head, giving you a toothy grin before lighting the cigarette in his mouth. "Nah. Just figured you'd have more fun out here talking to me and getting a break from it all."

"You know he's waiting for me, right? I should go back inside." You stand back up straight and begin walking back into the bar, however you feel a warm hand wrap gently around your wrist and tug you back. "Hey hey hey," Jungkook called. "He'll survive a few minutes without you. Just chill with me. I'm not asking you for anything, just a second of your time."

You turned to face your ex-lover, your eyes finally meeting his for the first time that night. Even after all this time of being apart, those beautiful doe eyes still yearned for you, and yours for him. With a shaky sigh, you brush his hand away and return to where you were standing. "Exes don't hang out like this, Jungkook."

"Woah, you're pulling out the full government name on me now?" The boy teased, puffing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "Should I be offended?"

"I'm setting boundaries," You crossed your arms and kicked at the ground beneath you. "Nicknames are for friends or more than friends, which we aren't."

"We aren't strangers either though."

"That doesn't matter. Not friends."

"Alright, fine," Giving up, Jungkook looked down at his hand and flexed it awkwardly. "Just trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?!" You said frantically, finally having enough of his antics. "You don't need to be friendly. We broke up and that's the end of it. Exes aren't friends. They go their separate ways and when they see each other again – if they see each other – they ignore each other. I don't get why you're doing this psychological warfare bullshit on me."

"Exes can be friends," He breathed out in protest. "Can you even tell me why we broke up in the first place?"

You remained silent. The truth was that you didn't know why you broke up either. It had been almost a year since the whole ordeal went down, and you were still confused more than anything else, even more than you were hurt. All you can remember is that you guys went through some bullshit ‘mutual breakup’ that apparently neither of you wanted in the first place. The only reason you even agreed to it is because somewhere within you, you felt like perhaps you weren’t deserving of such a wonderful relationship. And the only reason Jungkook agreed to it is because he thought that it’s what you wanted.

"No, seriously. What went wrong? What did I do? I just want some closure..." His voice became increasingly softer as he kept speaking, which only meant one thing. You stared at the ground intensely, refusing to look up and see his teary eyes.

You felt his hand gently wrap around yours and tug on it as a plea for your attention. Jungkook was your weakness, the only person you'd willingly do anything for, and he really loved to take advantage of that without even realizing he was.

You peered up at him hesitantly, worried that you'd find yourself in tears the second you saw the ones pouring from his eyes. Sure enough, when the eye contact began, you were driving yourself forward into his strong arms and dampening his shirt with your tears.

Jungkook's embrace felt the same as it did the last time you felt it. It was still so warm, so inviting, so loving. Never once did you feel unsafe in his arms and this moment was not an exception. As you sobbed into his shirt you felt his hand move from around your waist to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently.

The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, simply letting all emotion out while enjoying the company of one another. While Jungkook has been exceptionally transparent in expressing the fact that he's heartbroken about the situation between the two of you, it's safe to say that you feel equally as devastated. This man was once the love of your life and the only one you ever needed, but now everything about him except for his embrace feels foreign. This was someone you once saw yourself building a life with, but now it's shattering to think that he has a life after you.

You pulled away after a while, refusing to make eye contact as you wiped the tears from your eyes. This all felt entirely pointless. It was obvious that nothing went wrong in the relationship yet here you were, no longer in one. You couldn't begin to imagine what Jungkook had been going through since you guys broke up considering the fact that for you, your entire world turned upside down.

"I'm sorry," You managed to choke out before you felt Jungkook's hand gently guide your face up to look at his. You watched him stare at you for a moment, taking in your features, before his lips began to curl into a soft smile. "Mmm. Yeah. You're way too pretty to let slip through my fingers."

Feeling your face turn hot as a blush crept to your cheeks, you let out a soft giggle before you were cut off by a familiar pair of lips meeting yours.

"JUNGKOOK?" You heard a voice call out. The two of you pulled apart, eyes wide. Shit. You forgot about Jimin.

#teenytinyjimin #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts fanfiction #bts fic #angst #bts jungkook #bts jk #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook angst #jk angst #jungkook x reader #jk x reader #fanfic #jk fanfic

[vaspider]

Reposting because I absolutely cannot and will not reblog a post made by someone who tags things 'q slur.' For fuck's sake, grow up.

And since I'm reposting, let's made the post better by including a source link to the entire article.

Kanegson, Jared. (1998, June.) After the Butch/FTM Conference, Why Not to Give Up on Butch/FTM/Trannyboy Coalition Building. FTM International, 5.

After the Butch/FTM Conference Why Not to Give Up on Butch/FTM/Trannyboy Coalition Building by Jaron Kanegson

I'm a transgendered person who identifies as both Butch and FTM. A faggy "Butch" who typically dates Butches/boy-dykes/FTMs, an FTM cross-dresser who responds to a range of pronouns, a bio-female who frequently passes, and partially identifies, as male, I can't squeeze my gender iden-tity into one category. As such. I felt excited, even relieved, when I first heard about the Butch/FTM Conference. Finally, I thought. a forum that would logically include genders which, like mine, incorporate elements from both the categories of Butch and FTM. And, I was happy that a spectrum of people from communities that sometimes overlap—more, I think, than many would like to admit--would be coming together to work towards change. I figured we'd have a lot to talk about regarding discrimination from the larger society, identity questions, health care, employment, sexuality, racism, etc. I am saddened to report that while some bridges were built, others were broken, particularly during the "Betrayal—What Makes It Hard To Trust Each Other" workshop. I believe that structural aspects of the conference contributed to the conflict in that workshop, and detracted from the progress that might otherwise have been made that day. Though I had briefly worked on planning the conference, I quit because I was convinced that the conference was not being planned in a constructive way. During the six-week period that I was involved in planning the conference, I attended both a general meeting and panel-planning subcommittee meetings. I also took part in conversations with various conference organizers, potential panelists, curious friends, etc. In my circle of friends, Butch and FTM describe not only categories that at times blur, but also groups that, along with femmes, MTFs, bio-fags and others, often relate as friends, lovers, roommates and members of a larger community. So, I expected the Butch/FTM Conference to build on the base of shared community that already exists, to a certain extent, in San Francisco. Instead, I found that some of the other organizers seemed to see Butch and FTM as two inherently separate, distinct, and perhaps even naturally hostile identities. One area where I saw this mindset demonstrated was in the planning of the morning panel. I thought that, of the five or six panelists, at least one should be a person with an identity specifically incorporating aspects of both Butchness and FTMhood. I suggested a number of boy-dykes and dyke-fags, all of whom identified as transgender. In response, one organizer, a Butch woman, expressed her frustration that I was "muddying" things. She stated that I was "Not respecting that the conference (was) supposed to be about Butches and FTMs." That conversation marked the end of my involvement. Ultimately, although some gender ambiguity certainly crept into the panel, no panelists with the type of gender identity I had lobbied for was included. Transfags and people younger than their mid-thirties were also absent as panelists, and all of the FTMs seemed to be former Butches. That unfortunately reinforced the idea that every FTM "gained" is a Butch "lost" and the misconception that all FTMs are straight. As well, though I know gender-flexible people of all ages, my personal experience is that younger queers are more used to the idea of alliances between dykes, fags, trannies, etc. There were other aspects of the conference that did not seem to be designed to bring people together. One example was the wording of the Harvey Milk Institute catalog course description. Originally, it described Butches and FTMs as

Butch and FTM describe not only categories that at times blur, but also groups that (along with femmes, MTFs, bio-fags and others) often relate as friends, lovers, roommates and members of a larger community. "competing for dwindling resources!" While this and other potentially inflammatory language was ultimately removed, other revisions aimed at making the language more inclusive did not stick. For example, I suggested at the general planning meeting, along with others, that we list a wider range of relevant gender identities—including a more culturally diverse range—in the course description. That way, people who identified only with certain aspects of "Butch" and/or "FTM" would know that the conference was about them, too. Five of us spent half an hour at that meeting's end rewriting the course description to specify that the conference was not strictly about "Butches" and "FTMs," but also about boy-dykes, transfags, bull-daggers, cross-dressers, anabes, marimachas, etc. While the line "All genders are welcome" stayed in the course description, the idea that the focus of the conference was about a range of gender identities was excised. Finally, while the course description set the tone for the conference, as well as drawing a particular audience, the workshop topics themselves were not conducive to alliance building. In particular, the smallest of the three after-noon discussion groups,

"Betrayal: What Makes It Hard To Trust Each Other?," ended in an emotional explosion that I fear may have left many hurt, bitter, and, worst of all. convinced that conflict between Butches and FTM is inevitable. Unfortunately, the title of the workshop alone virtually guaranteed it would be painful. The focus was negative, and on difference. I am not suggesting that there arc no under-lying tensions, nor that these tensions should not be talked about. However, I think a more positive context—such as a workshop focusing on the oppression Butches and FTMs face from larger society, including some discussion of the pain we cause each other—would have been more likely to lead to a sense of a community. Obviously I have a difference of opinion with many of the conference organizers about just who should be included in the categories of Butch and VIM, and how the conference should have been structured and focused. I do not want, however, to discount the hard work they did, nor do I want to gloss over the fact that I have heard hateful remarks about FTMs from dykes, and sexist remarks about dykes from FTMs. However, I believe that as people our society labels queer, and as people (usually) born in "female" bodies expressing masculinity, maleness and/or gender non-conformity, we have a lot in common. We also have a lot of work to do togeth-er and a lot of fun to have together. Despite my critiques, the Butch/FTM conference was an historic first effort towards community building. As someone with a foot—and friends—in each community, I hope that process will keep going.

#trans man #butch lesbian #intracommunity issues #reclaimed slurs

[sneezemonster15]

I wonder why do you think Megumi and Itadori are portrayed as romantic, but not Suguru and Satoru? Sincerely I want to see your thoughts about it, since to me, Satosugu akways appeared as more ambiguous than Itafushi

Ah. You are right, SatoSugu is more ambiguous than Itafushi. But I really want to finish reading the manga, at least the currently available chapters before I write a comparison. I will though. I promise.

But see. A writer needs to establish certain things before he can establish a romantic dynamic between two same sex characters, to make it believable. It needs to be strategic to be believable in a seamless manner. If two men love each other in a generally heteronormative world, then the writer will definitely establish their sexualities because it's an instinctive response, the audience will wanna see it to believe it.

If two characters are gay, or not straight, the writer will show it. And Gege does. He makes Todo ask such a question to Megumi. He makes Megumi think about it. Megumi says - 'person' when he was specifically asked about a girl. Look at the specific choices the writer is making. He says he only cares for compassion in his prospective mate, and what is Yuuji's USP? Compassion. Yep.

Not Nobara.

Yuuji.

Anyway, from that, we are able to glean information about Megumi's sexuality. And it certainly doesn't look straight. This is all very strategic and deliberate. Megumi is characterised as a self assured person, a thoughtful and introspective person, who knows what he likes and dislikes. In fact, if anyone had bothered to ask Sasuke about his preferences, he would have answered similarly, with a similar attitude too. Hehe.

With Itadori, Gege makes it a point to talk about his sexuality as well. So Itadori is shown as a person who is indecisive. Gege describes him as indecisive. Of course if he is made to be in a position where he needs to think, he will. He is a bit slow, but not a complete idiot. He has a decent learning curve.

He likes tall girls, this is what is told to us. But we are SHOWN something else. When he is asked what girl he likes in his class, he says Ozawa, who was neither tall nor pretty at the time. Isn't it contradictory? Didn't we see the same kind of contradiction with Naruto? Like one would have expected a straight boy to react, he didn't. He didn't objectify girls, like most straight teenage boys would do without a second thought. There is so much conversation about what type of girl her likes. But when finally a tall Ozawa comes along, Yuuji isn't interested, not romantically. Todo asks him the same question and he is baffled so he says something he has been saying for a long time.

People get curious but you wouldn't wanna say something private like this to just anyone no? Especially when you are yourself confused about it. Yuuji is also not like Megumi.

So what you are getting from this is Gege is establishing their traits and sexualities without being too explicit. And we know writers can do it, we have seen it with Naruto. Sasuke and Naruto's sexualities are also questioned and established as not straight, not explicitly but it's clear to perceptive fans, no?

There is a lot of other stuff that confirms ItaFushi.

The characters of Yuuji and Megumi are influenced by Naruto and Sasuke, Gege has admitted it. And I am ready to bet that Gege knows what Naruto the story is truly about.

Gojo outwardly seems like Kakashi but he ain't in the most important way, he isn't a slave to the system, he wants to change the obsolete ways of the system, he is the protector of his students, someone who actually understands them. Sasuke and Megumi are quite alike but Megumi doesn't have Sasuke's conflict. Yuuji is like Naruto characterwise, but he doesn't have Naruto's insecurity. Nobara is like Sakura on the surface, hot headed and loud, but at her core, very different from Sakura.

JJK is like Naruto 2.0. I am not saying it's better or worse. They are two different worlds. What I am saying is that Gege is sort of correcting everything that went wrong with Naruto, in his own manga. Things that fans like us hate. There are a lot of notes I have made about this, but I want to finish the manga first before writing in detail.

I updated my stance on SatoSugu when I got a bit more into jjk. But the reason I am not sure is because we don't see their relationship with the same kind of development like Megumi and Yuuji. Yuuta makes a joke about Gojo finally getting a gf, which he dismisses. And I noticed. But we didn't see Gojo and Geto's relationship being developed from the beginning. By the time Amanai incident shows up, we see them as best friends, they are obviously very close. But it really doesn't seem romantic at that point of time. They mirror each other, they roughhouse, they fuck around together and then find out lol, but they really do seem like good friends. However, I noticed some things with grown up Gojo and Geto, which could indicate a romantic attachment.

The markers I need to see to believe Satosugu is definitely a romantic relationship aren't as established as Megumi and Yuuji's relationship. If it's romantic, the writer will give us this information for sure, one way or the other. But there is a lot to be seen yet. Gege's non linear storytelling will certainly come in handy.

#jjk #anon #ask #satosugu #itafushi #itadori #megumi

[chosetherose]

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus immediately hit me as being strongly sonically reminiscent of a song by The Smiths. which might just be a case of, well there are only so many chords in the world and patterns end up repeating. but I’d like to ponder what I think the connection could mean, in case it is in fact an intentional reference.

It sounds like the song ‘Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want’ which is as the title sounds, a straightforward heartfelt plea that the narrator’s luck will change for once in his life: ‘See the life I’ve had, can make a good man turn bad’. In Taylor’s song as soon as I heard the notes of the piano motif, and particularly the strumming pattern of the guitar, my mind kept itching for it to lead into the instrumental from the end of the Smiths song, as if they have a similar chord progression or something. maybe someone more musically minded can explain what I’m hearing? I looked up the chords and both songs are a lot of Fmaj, C and G, but many songs share chords and sound totally different so it feels like there’s more that I can’t articulate.

Some context for those not familiar: the songwriter and lead singer of British 80s band The Smiths was Morrissey. he’s since done some imo bad solo stuff and veered alarmingly right wing as he’s aged, much to the distress of Smiths fans who initially admired him for using his cutting wit to be outspokenly left wing, pro-animal rights, anti-Margaret Thatcher etc.

For decades he didn’t explicitly come out, but was vaguely assumed to be gay because of his lyrics (e.g. songs like This Charming Man and Hand in Glove). since he wasn’t out or labelled a ’gay singer’ he was able to become this very popular symbol amongst straight men for championing an alternative, soft, intellectual masculinity for them to identify with. known for his depressing (but also clever and humorous) poetic lyrics, and performing holding bouquets of flowers. I’ve seen a video where blokes from the audience surge up out of the crowd one by one to kiss his cheek while he sings, as if he’s their deity of allowing men to get in touch with their feelings.

Around 2013 he came out as bi / ‘attracted to a small number of humans’ in a memoir. the tone of the press around it is like ‘Morrissey finally kind of admits he’s gay, eye-roll no surprise’. The thing is, he’s no one’s bi hero because by the time he came out he’d gained his current reputation as a rude dickhead whose politics have devolved into anti-immigrant bigotry among other heartless bad takes. the press like to use his song title ‘Big Mouth Strikes Again’ as a headline when he chimes off, he has the total opposite of Taylor’s cautious approach to voicing opinions publicly.

Again, I don’t know if Taylor’s making this musical reference intentionally, or if hearing the connection is just a me thing. but it’s interesting that Morrissey’s career is defined by being a beloved sexually ambiguous poet who became so different from his early persona and politics that many fans who worshipped him now talk about separating art from artist in order to keep enjoying the songs they love. both his similarities and differences to Taylor strike me as thematically relevant to our TTPD discussions.

Or perhaps just hearing the lyrics to Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want can help add a dimension of understanding to Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus. Taylor’s wistful tone of voice and longing ‘what if’ lyrics certainly fit the sentiment, and thinking about the two songs together adds to the depth of her weariness and desperation. I hope someone talented also picks up on the similarities because I’d love to hear a mashup some day.

Anon, I’m really impressed by all the thought you put into this. What an interesting back story for Taylor to potentially connect to.

It’s all way over my head though - I didn’t know of this song before your ask - so I’m hoping others will chime in.

#CTRask

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Not to resurrect (haha) the Mo Xuanyu discourse, but I don't see why everyone jumps to either "MXY is a sweet blameless baby and JGY is an evil lying liar" or "MXY definitely sexually harassed his brother and poor JGY did nothing wrong" when the fact that we don't get confirmation either way implies to me that neither thing is true.

Like... JGY doesn't actually need a compelling reason to dismiss MXY, any more than JGS needed an official reason to punt JGY down the stairs. For all the tenuousness of JGY's position, at least he has the name; MXY doesn't even have that! He was never legitimized as a Jin, and thus doesn't have any family status of his own. He serves at the pleasure of his sect leader just like any other disciple. MXY doesn't seem to have been a cultivator of any great renown, so his dismissal wouldn't have raised any eyebrows in that regard. Additionally, the Mo family aren't high in the gentry pecking order, so the potential insult isn't enough to cause a scandal. JGY as the new Jin-zongzhu is well within his rights to just say "sorry, but this isn't working out" and leave it at that.

Now, it would certainly be tacky for JGY to dismiss him, and booting a potential rival would be at odds with the image JGY projects of humble, gracious Lianfang-zun. So maybe JGY would feel like he needs to provide a reason that makes this decision look Good And Just. That's where the harassment of other disciples comes in. This part is ambiguous, I think. MXY tells us that this is why he was sent away, but he neither confirms nor denies the allegations. Maybe they are true, and JGY's political win was also a win for the Koi Tower HR Department! Maybe MXY simply flirted with a straight guy who took offense and complained, and JGY used that report to bolster his case. Maybe MXY didn't do anything, but people viewed his every behavior as innately predatory because of homophobia, and JGY took the low road and capitalized on that prejudice. WE DON'T KNOW.

What we do know, though, is that the gossip in the MDZS universe is off the chain. So if the public hears that Lianfang-zun dismissed his cutsleeve half-brother for harassment, they're going to start speculating, because oooh that's juicy. What happened? What did that weirdo Mo Xuanyu do? Who did he shamlessly try to seduce? No other sects have spoken out, so it must have been someone in Jinlintai! And it must have been someone important! Gasp! Maybe it was Lianfang-zun himself! MXY was always following him around, wasn't he? Horrid! Awful! Let's keep adding increasingly lurid details!

And that's how we have the entire cultivation world firmly convinced that Mo Xuanyu is a creep who came onto his own brother, despite Mo Xuanyu doing nothing of the sort and Jin Guangyao accusing nothing of the sort, and both of them have to live with it because MXY doesn't have enough credibility to clear his own name and holding a press conference to clarify that There Was No Incest For The Record isn't in JGY's best interests because 1.) he very much does not want to contribute to any discourse about himself and incest and 2.) he wants MXY gone anyway so why take a risk to defend him?

tl;dr probably neither of them wanted anyone to think that they had weird vibes but the rumor mill can't stop won't stop

#should clarify that this is Novel Canon #for Show Canon I do believe in my heart of hearts that MXY made QS uncomfortable bc QS isn't an idiot #and if there's anyone JGY doesn't want thinking too hard about incest it's his UNWITTING SISTER WIFE #wait though QS wouldn't know it's incest... but neither would MXY... #IF TRUE THEN ARGUABLY SHOW!JGY DID SHOW!MXY A SOLID BY PUTTING A STOP TO THAT

[jewishbarbies]

Honestly, I don’t really agree with you that Taylor is queerbaiting though. I certainly think she plays up being a gay ally, but the fact that she admits she is straight when asked makes me lean toward her not actually queerbaiting. Exploiting the LGBT+ community, absolutely, but not pretending to be queer herself or implying that she might be. It’s more people reading into her songs and assuming she saying she gay, but she’s straight up admitting when asked she is not. Compare that to Harry Styles who is straight up playing up the ambiguity of his sexuality when the question is raised. I’m more inclined to say he’s queerbaiting in that sense, if you know what I mean. She’s at least honest about it when asked. He isn’t, clearly playing into the decade long rumors he’s this poor little closeted pop star.

it’s not a coincidence that swifties apparently haven’t read the (1) interview where she says she’s straight because no one heard of it. it was suppressed. stuff like that involving her usually gets around and this didn’t. I believe she’s queerbaiting. if you don’t, that’s fine.

I think it’s wrong to make that comment about Harry. I’m pretty sure everyone here knows I’m not exactly a fan of his, but it’s been pretty clear from his comments on sexuality/gender that he’s not comfortable putting a label on it publicly and he’s been nothing but supportive of anyone and everyone, which is much more than can be said of taylor. so what if he’s closeted? it’s no one’s business who he fucks in his personal life. as far as I know, his music isn’t inherently queer as in can be typically interpreted however, but I haven’t heard enough to say either way. he’s always been clear that he’s uncomfortable with media attention on his sexuality/private life since his 1D days. that’s perfectly reasonable.

#Asks #anonymoose #anti taylor swift #swifties dni

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

The past couple of weeks I've been reading a bunch of Django Wexler books, and the thing that caught me by surprise was how many of his main characters came across as fairly nuanced aspec rep, and I'm not entirely sure whether it was on purpose or not.

The first book I noticed this in was Ashes of the Sun. It and its sequels are queernorm, and textually acknowledge asexuality and aromanticism as things that are known and accepted within the setting. There are two protagonists, Maya and Gyre, and Gyre's experience of sexual and romantic attraction is deeply interesting in its absence. He has sex on multiple occasions, and seems to enjoy it somewhat, but nothing about his narration ever indicates that he has any interest in seeking it out. He never expresses a specific sexual attraction to either of his partners (or anyone else for that matter), never initiates sex, and never even seems to be thinking about sex as a possibility until someone else points it out to him. His feelings for his partners don't necessarily read as romantic, either. That part is more complicated and more open to interpretation - one of his partners is a fling, and the other deliberately avoids defining their relationship beyond "we are friends and sometimes sleep together", but he clearly feels awkward about the possibility of getting involved with other people in any capacity in spite of their explicit lack of exclusivity. However, his primary partner doesn't receive emotional priority in his narration. He treats her and thinks of her like all of his other close friends, without prioritizing her either higher or lower than anyone else.

However, neither his narration nor anyone else comments on this apparent lack of sexual or romantic interest, which is what makes the authorial intent seem ambiguous to me. In a queernorm setting where aspec people are textually a known and unremarkable part of society, it feels odd that neither Gyre nor anyone else describes himself in those terms. Given that his only partners are women, I'd normally be inclined to say that the author intended for him to allo and straight and just didn't really focus on writing sex and romance if not for our other viewpoint character, Maya. Maya's narration is chock full of visceral romantic and sexual attraction. The force of her attraction regularly hits her like a punch to the gut. At first she has to psych herself up to look her crush in the eye because every time she does her brain functions are replaced with "hnnnnnng girl pretty😳😳😳". It's such a dramatic contrast that it feels like it almost has to be deliberate. It's also worth noting that Maya's eventual partner, Beq, describes herself as having never been interested in someone before and that she hadn't ever expected to be, and as being kind of overwhelmed by the whole experience, which certainly sounds like it could be a description of demisexuality. She doesn't get a pov, though, so that's about as far as that exploration goes.

Demisexuality does come up in a different Wexler series, though. The Shadow Campaigns series is not queernorm - misogyny is dealt with extensively, and homophobia peripherally. One of the pov characters, Raesinia, spends the first half of the series utterly uninterested in romance or sex. She's not dismissive of them, or without opportunities to explore either - she simply doesn't feel either kind of attraction to anyone and never has, and is unbothered by that fact, except for when it puts her in the situation of needing to let one of her friends down gently. However, over the course of two books and about a year and a half in universe time, she develops a friendship and mutual respect with one of the other pov characters, Markus. In spite of a few comments from some of their other friends, Raesinia's feelings for him are pretty unambiguously platonic, with the most she'll concede to her friends' teasing being that he seems and looks nice enough, I guess. However, eventually her feelings for him begin to shift, until eventually she expresses a romantic interest in him. Again, this is not a queernorm series. One of the pov characters and several other main and supporting characters are unambiguously queer, but there's no in-universe cultural awareness of aspec identities, and no one remarks on them as a possibility. Again, here is where I would normally assume that the author intended to write a slowburn between a two allo heterosexual characters, except. There is a specific point in the story, years since they first met and months after they became romantically involved, where Raesinia specifically and dramatically experiences sexual attraction for the first time. And the degree to which that is emphasized by the text makes me think that her demisexuality might have been purposeful.

Ultimately I'm not really concerned with authorial intent; the text is the text, and both series feature characters who read as aspec to me. But it's not often that I'm so uncertain about what the authorial intent was. In any case, it makes for compelling reading.

#the wlw review #burningblade and silvereye #ashes of the sun #the shadow campaigns

[malewifesband]

i do really really need ppl to understand that dunmesh is not a yuri and yall should read real yuri if you are wanting to read a yuri like there are no characters with a canonical sexuality ryoko kui notoriously loves ambiguity in the romantic and sexual natures of her characters like marcille as a lesbian is an entirely supported read of her character and certainly has more support than a read of her as straight but she is not actually canonically a damn thing. please read yuri please read manga with canonical lesbians in them go read Inside Mari thats my rec not a yuri either but theres actual lesbian characters and lesbianism is actually for real this time the driving force of the plot

[silvyysthings]

Hi Silvyy. Buzzfeed recently posted a pretty disgusting article titled ""Do Not Come Out" – We Asked A Hollywood Casting Director Whatever We Wanted, And The Answers Are Shocking". Essentially, the message in the article is that gay actors should not come out because if they do they will never succeed in leading roles. I encourage you and your followers to leave thoughtful (i.e. not hate) comments promoting the opposite message in case any closeted actors go to read the article.

As an example, I left the following comment:

The lack of openly gay actors in the industry should be considered a tragedy...it certainly should not be encouraged. I am quite frankly appalled that Buzzfeed even published that comment. Particularly because I think with Gen X we will start to see a shift in this trend soon. The popularity of Harry Styles is a promising start. He has embraced his sexual ambiguity/queerness and it has not negatively impacted his appeal whatsoever (if anything, he has become more famous because of it). He has also successfully played both straight and gay characters in movies. Hopefully, this encourages other actors to feel free to be open about their sexuality.

I just reblogged this article. While we may agree and would like to fight against this nonsense, and against this absolutely disgusting Hollywood way of seeing things, unfortunately the picture that is painted in this article is ruthlessly real.

#anon ask

[anonymousfandommurmurs]

As a queer person, I understand what Andrew says about being “openly gay” but I disagree. I talk to my friends a lot about this and we agree that discourse is tricky.

I think coming out as gay to the public is brave and necessary to our community who usually needs to hide and pretend we are straight. As a kid, I remember looking up to artists and famous people in general when they were not afraid of being “openly gay” in public because it made me feel like someday I could come out as well. Obviously, I’m not saying that Paul should feel any pressure to come out if he is queer at all (what happened to kit Connor was disgusting), but whoever is in the public eye and chooses to come out as queer are indirectly helping a lot of lgbtq+ people out there who don’t feel valued. There is still a lot of work to be done to bring awareness and respect to our community.

Just my two cents.

Thank you for this. It's an important conversation. I could argue all sides of this really.

I think Andrew hated the terminology openly gay more than the act of coming out. Like he hates people being described as openly gay in the press more than coming out.

I think it's important for people to come out because they want to, not forced to by the press. I do worry about Paul on The History of Sound press tour without Andrew to protect him. I have already seen too many 'gay for pay' comments about that casing.

Sexuality can be a very complicated thing, especially for young people and those early in their journey. I guess putting it out there can be daunting if you're still not sure.

I think where I sit on this is that I love seeing people love their same sex partners freely without needing to come out. I respect Kristen Stewart for never hiding or making a big deal of her sexuality, she was out there with her girlfriend without needing big statements.

I'm a bisexual woman, but I live in a bubble of LBGTQ people. My birthday party had one straight person at it, for example. We're all so sexually fluid, I forget it's not normalized elsewhere. I admit I have not come out to many people in my family. I am not 'closeted' but I am certainly ambiguous unless asked.

#asks #we're going deep today #have some personal lore on me

[wellthatwasaletdown]

If you look up Clown and the word cult, quite a few articles pop up. There is a small group of media recognizing the toxicity of his cult hood.

Vinay Khosla | The cult of Harry Styles

Iskra (The Spark) | Parasocial relationships damage our ability to hold public figures accountable

By Vinay Khosla 10/19/22 11:29pmCredit: Becky Lee

The meteoric rise of Harry Styles has been undeniable in the past few years, recently culminating in his record-setting fifteen-day residency at Madison Square Garden and release of the star-studded film Don’t Worry Darling. However, while his following has grown into the tens of millions and provided a community for many, there have been arguably complex and damaging manifestations of this fandom.

The obsession with the singer is a clear example of a mass parasocial relationship, a situation in which people exert a disproportionate amount of energy and interest in a relationship in which the other party is largely unaware of their existence. Often mediated through social media, this fosters highly idealized, virtually infallible, versions of public figures.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying Styles’ music or other work, the dynamic created can result in a critical lack of public accountability while facilitating Styles’ ability to take advantage of his fan base, through manipulating his image to garner ever-increasing profits and stardom.

Whether intentionally or not, there has been very little discourse on what I consider remains a harmful and intentional aspect of Styles’ messaging and brand: his co-opting of queer identity. Behind his apparent earned success is a calculated image which is arguably the reason he has skyrocketed to fame. This very image, finding an obsessive audience after his 2020 Vogue cover in which he was clothed in a dress (heaven forbid!), is one which associates him with the queer community while maintaining just enough distance for a necessary ambiguity. 

Styles’ choice to appear on the cover of the famed fashion magazine in a dress was merely a prelude to what would become a trend for the artist who is now widely known for his bending of gender norms in his confident wearing of dresses, stockings, makeup, and other typically (what are considered) feminine items. While gender is certainly a social construct that is maintained by the invented division in items of expression — like clothing — it cannot be ignored that queer communities have been engaging in these distortions of norms for decades. So much so that it has become part and parcel of queer expression. 

Here we get into the tricky question of whether Styles’ continued fashion choices — that could be said to appropriate those of the queer community — constitutes queerbaiting and, more importantly, whether identifying them as such is a slippery slope. Either way, because of the brand he has curated, Styles has become somewhat of a queer icon — without being queer himself. And therein lies the issue. 

While profiting off his gender-bending image, and by extension the queer community, he has insistently denied being queer (or straight), opting to remain unlabeled. After all, wouldn’t it destroy his brand if millions of teenage girls couldn’t realistically fawn over him? Equally problematic, he has never given credit to the trailblazers of this identity in the entertainment industry including Elton John, David Bowie, Billy Porter, and countless others. 

Of course, it is Harry’s prerogative to keep his sexuality private; fame should not require him to bare his identity for public consumption. But Harry has seemingly taken it upon himself to speak to the queer experience, pontificating in an interview leading up to the release of "My Policeman," “So much of gay sex in film is two guys going at it, and it kind of removes the tenderness from it.” But what does Harry Styles know about gay sex? And more importantly, as someone who’s consistently profited off of queer aesthetics and identity while refusing to explicitly align himself with the community, what ethos does he have to speak on the subject? 

All of this taken together, Styles has understandably become a problematic figure for many queer people, and yet all of this has been eclipsed by a perpetual mass obsession with him. 

This parasocial relationship also shields Styles, and his fans, from interrogating the effect his comments or image have on various communities. The phenomenon, however, does not start and end with Styles. Increasingly, exacerbated by mediation through social media, mass obsession has shielded celebrities like Taylor Swift or the Kardashians from being held meaningfully accountable for their environmentally damaging behavior, for example. 

Additionally, one could see how this becomes crucially more dangerous when applied to politicians who have amassed cult-like followings including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Donald Trump. To empower individuals with representing, and legislating for, our country on the basis of their personas as opposed to their policies or body of work poses a grave threat to the very purpose of elections. This mechanism of accountability cannot be tainted by blinding biases. Our politicians and representatives must work for us, not in the interest of creating a cult of personality to sidestep accountability. 

Parasocial relationships can quickly find their way out of Twitter or Reddit and into the real world, where they insulate public figures from necessary criticism — but as digital citizens we must be vigilant of this fact and work to extract ourselves from the cults of Harry Styles and others. 

Well written!

#harry styles #anonymous

[spicybylerpolls]

Dear Spicy Byler Polls,

i love your in-depth response to the anon about rooting for finn to be queer and the difference between accusations of queer-baiting and excited speculation.

the main difference does seem to be entitlement, and public forums. for example, commenting on someone's literal social media post? rude. are they going to reply personally to you? no! but i think people honestly forget or dont care that the celeb can see that. they have something to say, and they think they have the right to say it. so they do.

so my main issue is being told i can't speculate amongst friends (which is what this blog often feels like) when we are pretty hidden over here. i certainly would never want to interact with finn or even comment on his posts, as i dont feel i have anything to contribute to his life. but i love to observe and wonder in my own space on the internet, because it does serve me to do that, and i am not hurting finn, which is what matters.

but lastly i will just say that the ambiguity of how we interpret things is maybe what freaks people out about speculation. for example, i had a hunch that noah was queer way before this debate and s4, but it didnt matter in my life so i wasnt boasting to anyone about being right when he came out. it wasnt about me! who cares what i thought? my hunch was also based on nebulous things that arent quantifiable and definitely would not hold up in a court of law (lol), so it also seemed trite to describe them.

whereas sadie simply saying she likes an artist who is queer, for me is very silly evidence because that essentially makes everything into a message, and if a large majority of the straight community realised that queer folk think them liking queer art made them queer, it would stop them liking that art (or rather, being open about how much they liked it), in case people started saying ooooh you must be queer! not that being queer is bad, but that the jump in logic is pretty large. its like saying oooh you've got a friend who is queer, you must be queer too! it was a wonder it didnt happen as much as it could have with queen in the 80s - the music was so good, people didnt care. same for elton john. but im sure plenty refused to listen based on the rep alone.

I personally am not queer, and if i had a platform of fans, and i said oooh i love boygenius, and some of those fans started thinking i was queer because of that, i would feel like they were reading too deeply. because my queerness would not be expressed through enjoying music, which is a universal thing. if they started to notice actual queer behaviours in me that i also acknowledged were queer, and i was questioning, i would be like ok, they've seen through me.

so as a straight person who is fascinated by modern (and older) queer culture, its kind of funny to me to see the ways modern queer folk interact with people who are unlabelled.

it seems to have gone from the old ways of safely finding others queers, like asking if theyre part of the family (which would have been an assumption based on instinct and vibes, and which was relatively easy to dismiss if they were in fact straight), to either demanding someone comes out, or relying on vague indicators of sexual identity, like someone's taste in music or even whether they wear rainbows.

these things might be big for the queer community, but they already have meanings in the straight ones, too. liking rainbows does not make you queer or even indicate you are queer.

of course, the queer community have used these ambiguous ways to find each other, but the whole point is that they remain double meanings in order to protect the secret language of queerness. 'are you family' means one thing to straights and another to queer folk, but now, in modern culture, lots of queer people seem to be insisiting that it MUST mean only one thing: gayness. for example, someone wearing rainbows? they must be gay. they must be flagging. despite the millenia-long history of the existence of rainbows and their popularity in pop culture.

in modern gay culture, many people seem to think they are entitled the queerness of others because they sense it. whereas back in the day, you get the sense that if someone did not respond positively to 'are you part of the family?' then you would leave them alone, not demand that they come out because they would be happier if they did so and lived their truth.

do you think this speaks more about the internet age than it does about queer culture itself? and can queer culture every be extricated from the internet age? can any modern culture, now? i love that young queer folk are living more freely, but it seems to have swung a horrible way, towards entitlement for a lot of people online. and all that does is make them unhappy when their faves dont come out. i understand that queer people are oppressed and need idols and role models more than straight folk. but you can still enjoy an artist's work even if they dont share your sexual identity, cant you? it might help to make your experience more universal if you can acknowledge that not everything is about sexual identity. we want gay love stories like stranger things to bring straight folk and queer closer, not divide them by making sure gay communities remain separate, surely?

i hope i'm not being unfair.

Thank you for your thoughts! I hadn't really considered the straight perspective in all of this. You bring up a lot of interesting points, and I don't agree with all of it, but I don't necessarily disagree either.

You're right that sometimes rainbows are just rainbows and that, "These things might be big for the queer community, but they already have meanings in the straight ones, too. liking rainbows does not make you queer or even indicate you are queer."

I just had a vision of someone who is really into rainbows, putting them on literally everything, placing them in all their captions, placing them on all their bags, and everyone assumes they're flagging their sexuality. But then it turns out they're actually just a devout Southern Baptist, and they're really into the Noah's Ark story lol.

That being said, rainbows might be pretty universal, but I'd say there are symbols and clues that one might flag with that are very queer. And probably one or two of these things can be a coincidence. But just like with Mike's sexuality, it's not just one thing that clues us in but several subtle things piled on top of each other. And while of course "you can still enjoy an artist's work even if they don't share your sexual identity," there's a subtle magic when they do share it that I'd say can't be fully replicated by anything else.

The thing I find the most interesting about your message is your question, "Do you think this speaks more about the internet age than it does about queer culture itself? and can queer culture ever be extricated from the internet age? can any modern culture, now?" And I do think a lot of what you're critiquing is absolutely a part of the internet age in general. And it's not going away anytime soon.

The one thing I will clarify tho is that the Sadie Sink/girl in red thing is not a matter of her liking a queer artist but the context. At some point in like 2020 or 2021, "do you like girl in red?" actually became a very specific coded conversation/semi-meme for queer girls on TikTok.

So Sadie commenting I like girl in red btw on a girl's Instagram, followed by a winky face, is absolutely within that context. It's not about liking a queer artist, cause "I like Reneé Rapp" doesn't hold the same meaning even though they are both lesbians. And it's not even about liking girl in red as anyone can like her music (I love her music and I'm a guy), but about subtly communicating queerness in a specific way.

That being said, music/media in general ARE cultural signifiers that someone may be "safe," especially if there's a pattern. Like if someone's Spotify exclusively consists of boygenius and other similar artists, if they follow the Heartstopper cast on IG, and if their favorite films on Letterboxd are But I'm a Cheerleader, Bottoms, Carol, and Portrait of a Lady on Fire, that might be a sign lol.

I'm interested in my anons thoughts on this.

#byler #spicy byler #finn wolfhard #sadie sink #noah schnapp #spicy byler meta #no poll

[the-somewhat-rambling-reviewer]

Disorganised Thoughts on Episode 2 Cherry Magic (Thailand)

I suspect the Japanese boss is playing matchmaker. I’ve always kind of had this theory Urabe was a trickster character, but I legitimately believe the Japanese boss is, if not a trickster, a benevolent supernatural figure. Achi didn’t hear his thoughts, is the main thing, though, there are things that, unless it was just done to lazily propel the narrative, strengthened this conclusion.

Rock running away at the suggestion of Achi and Karan being lovers was stupid. One thing I really liked about Rokkaku was, yeah, violence isn’t the answer, but his reaction to believing Tsuge was homophobic against his friend being, ‘Oh, you have a problem with my friend being gay? Well, I have a problem with all your blood staying in your body!’ was something I really liked about his character.

This was just cringeful. If the show wanted to make Rock uncomfortable with gayness or just awkward about the idea or even non-violently homophobic, I wouldn’t have objected to the choice, but him doing this is just so, so- ugh. On so many levels.

I’m not feeling the Jinta/Min romance. I will say, though, there are times Junior Panachai Sriariyarungruang reminds me of First Kanaphan Puitrakul.

I didn’t like the cat’s thoughts being read, and even though I liked some of Jinta’s talking to the cat and the cat sleeping on him, that cat is still panting way too much. When he picked it up, in a way that I don’t think cats are supposed to be picked up, and it was panting like that-

I’ve had cats and dogs. I’ve only ever seen one cat pant in real life, and this was during car rides to the vet. It was the result of unhappiness and stress, not heat and/or lack of water. With a dog, I could think that, maybe, the dog had just exercised or even just been outside where it was hot and needed some water, but Thailand needs to seriously do better with cats on shows.

One tiny bit of character continuity I liked was: Karan looked up reviews when picking out Achi’s cake, and here, he tried to show Achi reviews for a restaurant that he thought Achi might like.

Honestly, until this show, I never really gave much thought to Kurosawa actually buying pyjamas specifically for Adachi, despite them not even being friends and/or having any reason to believe Adachi would ever be a guest at his place. I guess I just managed to mostly miss that. I think I just assumed that it was a case of Kurosawa buying an extra pair of pyjamas in case he ever had a guest, which is a reasonable thing for a person to do, and then, being really happy with being able to provide them for Adachi and with how Adachi looked in them.   

Interestingly, I think the Thailand version is explicitly going for Achi being bisexual while the Japanese version could be argued to be more ambiguous about Adachi’s sexuality. Yet, during the party scenes, Adachi invoked them both being men when they were ordered to kiss, and Achi didn’t.

I preferred the Japan version of the rooftop, but I don’t have a problem with this version.

In the Japanese version, Kurosawa had a much stronger reaction to learning Adachi had never been kissed, and even though I do like how this version had made less of a deal about virginity so far, I really liked how sweet Kurosawa’s reaction of, ‘Oh, thank God, I didn’t take something so important and special as your first kiss from you,’ was along with him believing whoever Adachi did willingly give such a gift to would be so lucky.

I didn’t particularly like Karan’s question/statement of who’d want to kiss another guy, but it didn’t bother me.

One thing I liked about the Japanese version was: Kurosawa’s dialogue and the acting had me believe it him going, ‘Look, I know I’m almost certainly in love with a straight guy. Just explicitly say you’re straight, please, so that the part still clinging to the small hope I’m not actually doing that will die. I need this closure if I’m ever going to have a chance of moving on.’

Karan is not as teasing a character as Kurosawa is, and there’s nothing wrong with that, I actually think that’s a neat way to make the character distinctive in his own right, but I also think the show needs to be careful about giving him certain similar dialogue and actions to Kurosawa because of this.

Achi enjoying Karan’s attention, but then, feeling guilty about accepting the attention when he doesn’t (for now, at least) return Karan’s feelings is awesome of him. I genuinely felt bad for how he kept trying to subtly distance himself without hurting Karan, and in the process, he either ended up in situations that brought them even closer or where he accidentally hurting Karan more.

One difference between Achi and Adachi is: Adachi was desperate to get rid of his magic, and most of the time he used it, it was through accidental, on his part, contact. Achi, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be having much of a struggle with having magic, and several times, he’s deliberately made contact to activate his magic.

I’m looking forward to next episode.   

#cherry magic thailand #cherry magic japan

[paellegere]

go happily to the stone

this is my fandom sideblog. i like to liveblog what i'm watching or reading. i'm also a writer, so i may share wips and updates occasionally too. i have a lot of fun with literary and media analysis, so this is a place where i can ramble about my thoughts :)

i mostly post about supernatural right now since it has consumed my brain. i tag everything i post by fandom, so please feel free to mute tags to avoid any spam!

supernatural-related tags:

my meta, analysis, essays, and comparatives (occasionally contained in the tags)

seasonal reviews

all liveblogging posts

general meta, analysis, alternate canons, speculations

i follow from @metanoeins :)

this is just a short about me/the blog section for those who care to know.

i'm an adult, i'm queer, and i am deeply fascinated by the grotesque and disturbing. i'm a big fan of horror, tragedy, and bitter endings. i can be a bit pretentious about the art i engage with, but i'm generally funny about it and i do love trashy/campy/badly written art under a wide range of circumstances.

my serializd page

my letterboxd page

i'm not myself interested in sex, but i have a lot of somewhat niche, nonsexual kinks i like to explore in fiction, mostly in terms of exploring and playing around with agency. most of these are supernatural in nature, and i prefer these kinks being explored through a tone of horror. a short list of big ones include:

mind control (specifically wherein the one being controlled is aware and conscious—i'm not a fan of brainwashing)

genderbending, bodyswaps, and forcefem

soulbonding (can include sharing thoughts, emotions, sensations; a need to be physically near each other; being supernaturally compelled to feel or act a certain way toward the other)

dubcon (noncon is fine too, but i prefer the ambiguity of dubcon)

soulmates (only as played as horror/tragedy, never played straight)

i also enjoy exploring sex symbolically.

my ships are not necessarily romantic or sexual in nature. feel free to consider them as such though, because i will certainly talk about them using romantic or sexual language as the boundary to me is irrelevant. my OTP is wincest (samdean), and it is what i talk about most on this blog because they won't get out of my head.

i do not have any particular "hard line" as to what i will and will not ship. i tend to gravitate toward certain pairings and characters with whom i can use to play around with my kinks, and i really like unhealthy, fucked up, and toxic dynamics and portraying them as such. my favorite dynamics can usually be described as "i don't want you but i need you," or are otherwise built around an unhealthy devotion/codependency for each other.

i like my men soggy, devoutly religious (loose definition), and/or abominations to god. as a consequence, my main blorbos are:

sam winchester (supernatural)

john irving and thomas jopson (the terror)

lestat de lioncourt (the vampire chronicles)

izzy hands (our flag means death)

i'm by and large more story- or dynamic-oriented than i am character-oriented. i'm also kind of long-winded (no shit sherlock). anyway i hope this is helpful; thanks for reading :)

#intro #i guess this can be a pinned post? sure #about me under the cut

[tobiasdrake]

All in all, DR2's first case blows DR1's out of the water.

DR1's first case already had a lot going for it, and DR2 manages to go even farther. It's eerie, obtuse, and complicated without holding your hand and spelling out certain key details (like the infamous 11037).

1-1 had some clever twists and turns but it also got to feeling at multiple points like an Ace Attorney tutorial; The cases where they literally show you who the killer is in the first five seconds of the case just to make it easy for you.

And while Sayaka was a clever subversion of expectations created by games like Ace Attorney, the startling reveal of Nagito "Inverse Makoto" Komaeda hits a lot harder. Meanwhile, I've already talked about the way Imposter Byakuya was a massive gut-punch of a victim.

Then there's Teruteru and Leon. Leon is probably the most "just some guy" of any Danganronpa character. He's an Ultimate that doesn't really care for his own Talent and is just coasting on his skills. His only real interest is music hitting on women, but he's not a creep about it or anything. So he's maybe a bit shallow. But he's good at his thing that he doesn't care about and it plays into his case so it's not nothing.

Teruteru is a presence. Often a toxic one. His main interest is hitting on women and he is a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y a creep about it. Sexual harassment occasionally delving into straight-up attempted sexual assault, thwarted only by the presence of other characters nearby. So it's honestly a relief when he's gone.

But with Teruteru go his incredible cooking skills. Teruteru's food had seemed like it would be one of the few lights in the darkness of the Jabberwock Killing Game, only to be snuffed out almost immediately after the game begins.

Teruteru is a gross little shit with some elements of pathos introduced just before his death and some genuine utility that it's a shame to lose. The impression he leaves behind is complicated, and overall more negative than positive.

Whereas Leon, outside the novelty of being the first Execution in the franchise, fails to leave much impression at all.

What 1-1 has going for it is that its simplicity makes it easier to follow. 2-1 hasn't gone all the way into the realm of over-complex magical mystery bullshit, but it's certainly dipped its toe.

1-1 feels like something that could actually happen to someone, while the precise yet ambiguous timing of 2-1 feels contrived. Much of the case hinges on how long it would take the characters to get into position, which we see happen in Visual Novel real-time which makes it hard to tell how fast or slow anything was actually occurring.

1 - Imposter pulling out the night vision goggles and then crossing the room to confront Nagito. 2 - Teruteru pulling out a cook light and a skewer and crossing half of the building and then re-crossing half of the building underground in the dark to get into position. 3 - Nagito crawling under a nearby table. These are all suggested to be things that take the exact same length of time to occur. And we can't really know for sure because the amount of time passing between text boxes is impossible to estimate, but it doesn't sound right.

But it's also not so unbelievable that it distracts from the story at hand, like some future cases in the series will become.

#danganronpa #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #teruteru hanamura #hanamura teruteru #leon kuwata #kuwata leon #revisiting dr2

[petravoncult]

Favorite 2022 First-Watches 🎬

this year, i've only managed to watch 173 films according to my letterboxd logs - that's already including rewatches. 2022 certainly fucked me in many ways i couldn't even imagine at the first place, which is part of the reason why i couldn't spare more time to watch more. 🥲

regardless, it's suffice to say that i've managed to broaden my horizon for a bit, discovering and finding unique films from many corners of the world, unrestrained by release dates or its mood and nature - highbrow, classy, unhinged, you name it; some of them eventually latched onto my mind and soul ❤

now i wouldn't be ranking these films in a particular order, but i will start with the ones that completely won me over and went straight into my all-time favorites!

these are the films i'd probably rate a perfect 10 if i had used the traditional metric score, but i don't review movies that way anymore 👇

Mikey and Nicky (1976), dir. Elaine May 🇺🇸

John Cassavetes and Peter Falk were best friends in real life - and simultaneously two of the best actors of their generation, so there's no doubt they were enthralling to watch in here. indeed, the film's power lies on their dynamite improvisational chops that chronicled the breakdown of their relationship over a night, fights and conversations filled up with intense emotions coupled together with May's minimal direction helped this film shined through and through. i'm definitely a sucker for character-driven movies, so hurrah 🙌

Love Letter (1995) dir. Shunji Iwai 🇯🇵

coincidences and memories of a deceased one can lead you to unexpected findings you took for granted at first, changing how you view that particular person in a different light. perhaps the 'contrived coincidence' trope has been done to death in every type of media imaginable - but due to the naturally-progressing plot that always keeps you interested and Shunji Iwai's directing, it feels very much fresh, not generic, and hits all the beats it's supposed to! Love Letter is blissful and warm, yet it's also a terribly sad tale about a love story that's almost meant to be. 💔

The Devils (1971) dir. Ken Russell 🇬🇧

god, if it isn't an over-indulgent picture (in a good way). to be more exact, it's about overzealous hypocrites indulging themselves in shameless immorality, shielding behind the tenets of Christianity to justify their actions. and they all went down in glorious flames, as depicted mercilessly by Ken Russell with the incredibly eye-catching set designs by Derek Jarman. while it's set in the Middle Ages when those deemed dark witches were guaranteed death sentences, I still think it functions effectively as a critique of the current state of 'religious' conservatives who are so blinded with hate for anyone but themselves. it's a lot of fun to watch, too, even if it does seem too cartoonish at times. (Oliver Reed, sexy and marvelous 💪)

A Snake of June (2002) dir. Shinya Tsukamoto 🇯🇵

Shinya Tsukamoto's films are basically when you combine Lynch's affinity for industrial-themed surrealness and Cronenberg's exploration of the human body transformation, only for their presentation and energy to be cranked up to 11. out of many Tsukamotos i've watched this year, A Snake of June fascinated me the most. i think this is when Tsukamoto's themes and trademarks really worked for me, because they synergize so much this time around; it's relentless in its exploration of self-destructive eroticism, creating a haunting yet sexually-charged atmosphere. it also left quite a lot to be analyzed due to its ambiguous nature (especially toward the end). endlessly rewatchable 👍

On the Silver Globe (1988) dir. Andrzej Zulawski 🇵🇱

a bit unfair to include this since it technically is an unfinished film, but this certainly was one of the most intense movies i've seen in a long time. the bleakness of the material is the foundation of the cinematic earthquake that would've been had it been completed, added with colorful costumes and dystopic set designs that contributes to the mystiqueness of the picture. the most prominent aspect, of course, is Zulawski's direction - while it may seem exhausting and annoying for some, in my honest opinion it certainly worked the way it's heading for. if i had to remake an existing film, it would be this one.

other films that i adore during my first watch this year include:

Blue (2002) dir. Hiroshi Ando 🇯🇵

Dogra Magra (1987) dir. Toshio Matsumoto 🇯🇵

Ashik Kerib (1988) dir. Sergei Parajanov 🇬🇪

The Wolf House (2018) dir. Joaquin Cociña & Cristóbal León 🇨🇱

Four Nights of a Dreamer (1971) dir. Robert Bresson 🇫🇷

there are so many other movies i like & love which unfortunately couldn't make it to my mentions on this post. movies are abundant and it's impossible to watch every single one of them in a lifetime, but finding those that resonate with you is a very personal and treasuring experience!

thank you 2022, here's hoping to watching more next year 🥂

#movies #cinema