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crimeronan · 10 months

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i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion #given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write.#i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like #oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective #anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions #i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try #polyamory #non-monogamy #ethical non-monogamy #writing #my writing #writing advice #relationships

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megastrikeback · 8 months

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based on the

#hermitcraft #fanart #comic #docm77 #iskall85 #art #before any hermitcraft fan sees this i do NOT watch hermitcraft!!!#my friends are just really into it and have sucked me into this hole so i have a lot of knowlage about it Without my consent!!! (joke)#and if you are asking 'did you get bribed into drawing this' the answer is no i saw the screenshot on a tweet and thought it was funny #and i wanna draw more comics they are fun #I would credit the artists i used for the iskal-doc desing if i had them n my friend didnt just send me a fanart with no link 😔#Also- if the friends see this: Hello :3

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gojonanami · 2 months

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Uh? It’s CANON Gojo and geto saw each other as BROTHERS.

alright I’m gonna answer this now lmao — I think with fiction everyone is entitled to their own take on things but with gojo and geto I believe the two to be soulmates — whether it’s platonic or romantic —

I personally see it as romantic, but if you don’t that’s completely fine and I’m not here to force my opinion onto you — it was in the tags — you don’t like, don’t read it! That simple.

I mean I could explain to you why I see it as romantic —

gojo calls geto his “one and only,”

the button left behind when geto defects is his second button that gojo ends up with — the button often given in Japanese culture to romantic partners / interests,

gojo literally says, when he sees kenjaku in geto’s body, “I know in my soul you’re not suguru geto” even in the English dub they localized is as “in my heart and soul,”

to add to that, kenjaku’s whole plan hinged on gojo freaking out upon seeing geto’s body — gojo is someone who is always very calm — he only gets emotional when it comes to geto. literally itadori dies and megumi got taken over Sukuna and he stays completely calm (for the most part), nothing in comparison in his reactions to geto’s defection or kenjaku

geto’s body literally fights back against kenjaku when trying to hurt gojo — and kenjaku has been alive since the heian era at least, and he says he’s never seen that happen before — what that says about their connection is pretty clear cut in my opinion.

the whole theme of jjk 0 is that love is the most twisted curse of all — where did gojo learn that from? Obviously there’s more than one type of love — but this movie was focused on romantic love in particular (between yuta and rika) but also was reflecting on geto and gojo’s relationship

gojo’s last words to geto are allegedly three words according to the VAs and what else could they be? Other than the theme of the entire movie — “I love you???” and then Geto literally blushes in the manga and says, “at least you could have cursed me in the end” — which gojo kinda did.

there’s a whole bunch of other things I could analyze and I’m not here to debate with you or anyone else! it’s fiction — it’s up to us to interpret things that are vague. And you are entitled to your opinion — but what I don’t like is you telling me that my opinion is wrong when it’s not!

It’s vague in the manga for a reason. never did they call each other brothers, nor did they call each other lovers — all they said is that they were best friends. And a lot of people are best friends with their brothers but also a lot of lovers are best friends so

you are allowed to have your opinion friend, just don’t tell me mine is wrong — if you don’t like the ship, read the tag and don’t read the fic!

#sab [asks]#sab [anons]#bruh I never thought I’d get told this #guys we are all entitled to our opinions #but doesn’t mean we can go around other people are wrong #I never will hate on another ship #because it’s not my place to hate on someone else’s fun or like #also guys #if you don’t like what you see in the tags #just don’t read the fic #or if you read it #don’t send me an ask saying you disagree unless you want to have a genuine discussion or conversation #don’t read a dub con fic that’s clearly tagged that #and say I didn’t like it because it’s dub con #yes I have tags for a reason don’t read it babe #no one is making you #sorry I’ve just been getting a lot of comments like these and it’s frustrating 🫠#no hate to this person but just let people have opinions about silly fictional ships

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gregoftom · 1 year

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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA

#tomgreg #so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin #TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1 #are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK #how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet #sick to bastard death of them god #so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to #greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like #girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks #and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk #and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg #doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo #sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed

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intersex-support · 1 year

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Something that has been helpful for me when having conversations about what counts as intersex is to really engage in enquiry about what the label means and how we're using it. To me, it's been more helpful to think through questions like:

What purpose does labeling a variation as intersex serve?

In what ways is societal understandings of "typical" changing?

Why was the label of intersex created and has our use of the label shifted?

What ways are we building intersex community? What do we want intersex community to look like?

How do our experiences of oppression impact our understanding of intersex as a term?

What sources are we drawing from when we develop definitions of intersex?

What is the history of the way intersex has been used?

What ways has intersex community been exclusionary in the past, and is that in line with our current values?

Definitions of intersex have always been tied up with what the medical world decides to classify as differences of sex development, but especially in the past twenty years as intersex community has grown more connected, we've started to have a lot more self-determination in our communities. But I think a lot of people still really have a misconception that intersex is a biological "third sex" that is strictly medically defined, and that there are clear cutoffs between intersex and endosex.

Instead, I'd like to bring in the concept of compulsory dyadism to introduce a framework where intersex is an intentional political label used as a way to build community for the people whose variation of sex characteristics are most impacted by the stigma and violence associated with compulsory dyadism.

Sex diversity is not just limited to intersex people. Even within the boundaries of dyadic/endosex bodies, people have variations like different amounts of body hair, penis size, hormone levels, breast size, as well as things like disabilities affecting any of those traits. For example, very few people actually have all the "ideal" traits that line up with this constructed idea of an endosex body that has the exact "correct" amount of estrogen, the right size chest, the ability to bear children, "normal" periods. Many endosex people might have a variation in one of those aspects at differing times during their life, such as during menopause, for example. And this framework can help us understand how diagnoses such as endometriosis are not intersex, but people might still notice overlaps in certain experiences.

But the reason that not everyone is considered intersex and the reason that having a separation between endosex and intersex is important is because of the stigma and violence associated with straying further and further from that dyadic norm, and intersex is a label used to describe people who are the most impacted by that stigma and violence. We have been socially labeled as "deviating" the most from the "normal" sex binary, and consequentially face intersexism both on a systematic and personal level. Our collection of sex variations becomes located entirely outside of the sex binary, and as a result, we often face curative violence, social stigma, and systematic exclusion from many parts of society.

This definition isn't a perfect definition. I think we need to have room to develop more nuance around the fact that many intersex people might not feel like their experience of being intersex has brought them any personal stigma or violence, as well as understanding that there isn't going to be a universal intersex experience. Even when discussing how intersex people are the most impacted by compulsory dyadism compared to endosex people, I think it's important to recognize that within the intersex community, our additional intersecting identities are absolutely going to influence our experiences with oppression and that it's vital to intentionally uplift the members of our intersex community who are most impacted by oppression. In the United States, the creation of the sex binary was an explicitly racist process, and racialized intersex people are subject to additional layers of stigma, violence and scrutiny. (Check out chapters 4-6 in the book Cripping Intersex by Dr. Celeste Orr for a really in depth discussion of how antiblackness and compulsory dyadism are forces behind why the Olympic sports sex testing has pretty much exclusively targeted Black women from the Global South, regardless of whether or not they are actually intersex. Also recommend reading The Biopolitics of Feeling: Race, Sex, and Science in the Nineteenth Century by Dr Kyla Schuller.) I also have talked with many intersex people who are tired of us always being represented through trauma narratives in the media, and who want us to be able to build a definition of intersex that isn't based around violence or tragedy. And I think that's really important that we also share our stories of intersex joy, and pride, and healing. I think that claiming intersex can be something really radical, and that's super valuable to me.

Overall I think that if we build our discussions around who is intersex on concepts to do with our social and political location, and take into consideration concepts like compulsory dyadism, sex diversity, and disability, we are going to be able to understand why any of it matters better than if our determinations of intersex identity are based solely in medicalized concepts of a third sex.

TL;DR: Although endosex people also have diversity when it comes to sex traits, intersex is still an important label that not everyone can claim. Compulsory dyadism is a force that affects all of us, but intersex people are the most impacted by compulsory dyadism and face intersexist stigma and violence for our intersex variations. As a result, intersex is an important label for us to claim so that we can build community and solidarity around our experiences. I think it is better understood as a sociopolitical label that describes the relationship between our biological bodies and the cultures we live in, rather than as a medicalized term that described a coherent "third sex."

other intersex people feel free to add on to this post-I'm only one person without all the answers, and would love to hear other perspectives!

#intersex #actuallyintersex #intersexism #disability justice #disability #trans #compulsory dyadism #cripping intersex #anyway again! i'm just one person and i am not in charge of intersex community #these frameworks have been really helpful for me. might not be helpful for you and that's okay!#this is just kind of a long post about some things i've been thinking about bc like. every time someone sends in an ask #asking about what is or isn't intersex. where the lines are. that sort of thing #i have a lot of thoughts about how there are lines. not everyone is intersex. endosex people cannot just claim intersex on a whim.#but at the same time those lines are sometimes blurred! it's not clear why some diagnoses r automatically considered intersex and some are #not considered intersex.#and i think that it's been helpful for me to look into okay what does this say about our oppression. our community. our bodies. what is #the history and what is the present? why does it matter? why do we need the label? how does it serve us #and Dr. Orr has been really influential in their theory of compulsory dyadism #also i

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tswaney17 · 2 months

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Just started reading IDBTWY and I'm petitioning for you to write the next ACOTAR book because the angst and tension and love you put into this piece is exactly what we all deserve in Elriel's book. Thank you for creating a masterpiece <3

Ahhhh. You are so sweet. What? Me?! 🥺🥺 This is such a high honor. AND, because you've mentioned it, I can share that I am currently working on a post-acosf, Elriel fic right now and may have a snippet to share just because you made my week with this lovely comment. Hope you enjoy it! 💜💙💚 (Also, this is an unedited snippet.)

Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course you matter, Elain. But there are things to consider before you throw away a bond with someone the Cauldron deemed worthy of you.” Azriel felt the backhanded insult in that comment. His brother didn’t believe him worthy of Elain’s affections. He nearly recoiled from it and only his centuries of stealth training kept him from physically showing his hurt. The shadows, however, had a mind of their own and surrounded him in comfort, sensing their master’s unease. Elain, it seemed, also read between the lines of who that particular comment was directed towards. “The fact that you would say such a thing about your own brother tells me you truly don’t know him at all.” Violet eyes flashed. “Choose your next words wisely, Elain.” The threat had Azriel bristling, unable to stop the snarl from his chest. “Careful.”

#ask #tswaney17 responds #post acosf fic #elriel fanfic #coming soon #hopefully #I have a lot in the works #send me good thoughts to keep working on these different wips

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agentnatesewell · 1 month

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Happily indulging in late Nate thoughts about his love for languages and communication of ant kind and of course he would know navy flags... and probably morse code... and sure as hell he'd have learnt sign language and.... oh....

....

Omg Nate can lip read

You have no idea how much I needed this late night indulgence!

Completely agree, he would be interested in all forms of communication, and something like morse code - I don’t know if that veers into technology or not, but truly an interesting form of code and communication. If he and A didn’t already communicate silently, that would be good to know on missions

(I did say all forms of communication but you know he’s not a fan of technology - especially if you can speak face to face or if you can write a letter instead of an email)

Agree agree he’d have learned all sign languages, as well! And lip reading, can absolutely do that

#having a lot of thoughts on all of this #thank you for the nate thoughts!#please feel free to send me more!#i miss the tree husband i have to get back to the lt!#twc #nate sewell #ask #anon ask

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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months

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Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers

I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.

The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)

(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.

I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)

Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.

The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???

Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.

I just think this is truer to John’s character.

Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.

So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.

And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-

#this was so many words holy shit I did not need to ramble that much #but I did <3 #this is what u get when u send me an ask I have too many thoughts #john winchester #ask #spn #again reiterating that like. it is not a bad thing to work out ur issues through fiction.#hell knows I do. and hell knows I used to be a lot less kind to John BECAUSE daddy issues. so I get it. it’s literally fine. it’s fandom.#u are free to do whatever so long as you aren’t a dick to other people about the character they like that you dont #(…I am going to side eye you if you feel the need to insist john had to be physically abusive because he was just That Bad to his kids.#but that’s more like. ‘I think you might have some unexamined biases about the nuances of abuse.’ more than anything.)#tw abuse #re: John abandoning his kids:#I know Bad Boys(?) has John leaving dean at the boy’s home. uh. personally?#I think that’s just bad writing. I think they misunderstood John’s particular brand of weird relationship to dean.#I don’t tend to count that instance as canon or at least not in the way the show presented it.#but ur mileage obv may vary. it’s just my opinion that that was a later seasons fumble.

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the-heaminator · 1 year

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Classical pieces as hetalia ships because fuck it we ball

Romerica: Waltz no.2 Shostakovich

Fruk: Cinderella waltz, Prokofiev

Lietpol (Could be pruliet too): Sibelius Violin concerto

Spaus: Liebstraum, Liszt

Ruseng: Vase Sentimentale, Tchaikovsky

Ameger: Radetzky march, Strauss Sr

Rusame/Amerus: Rite of spring

#will i elaborate #if you ask me to because i do actually have a lot of thoughts send me an ask and i will gush you can also request because!!!!!!#The heam speaks #romerica #fruk #lietpol #spaus #ruseng #ameger

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commsroom · 1 year

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Jacobi and Eiffel both externalize all their problems, but Jacobi projects his own flaws and failures to be other people's fault, while Eiffel thinks his redemption/solution is only in other people's opinions and out of his control, discuss.

i've said before i think the most interesting thing about jacobi is that the finale is the start of a character arc for him, not the culmination of one. and i think this is a big part of that. in things that break other things, he says, "it wasn't anybody's fault. everyone was doing their jobs right, but it just... two guys died. good guys." and i think that line makes a lot of sense if he actually was at fault, or at least feels that he was and can't admit it to himself. in dirty work, he realizes he blames himself for maxwell's death. and then: "i was wrong and people died. and the only thing i can do is not be wrong again."

it creates a perfect loop from his recruitment to where he's at in the finale: two people are dead, but he survived. he's out of a job. what now? i think that's an interesting set up for how jacobi's storyline post-canon could mirror and intersect with lovelace's - they're both people who have been blinded by hurt and anger and desire for revenge, and have had to step back from that ledge. they've both lost "their" people - the only survivors of their respective missions. i don't believe jacobi will ever willingly stay in contact with the rest of the hephaestus crew, but lovelace...? narratively, it could work. "i've got this friend" about lovelace in the finale is an opening. if jacobi's arc so far is a loop, and he's finally open to change, then he and lovelace could also share a thematic link re: breaking cycles.

as for eiffel, i would go so far as to say he completely removes himself from the equation. he projects his desire for redemption onto other people - people like hilbert, who absolutely don't share that desire - but he doesn't want to be in the story. it wouldn't matter if someone told eiffel he was a good person - he wouldn't believe them - and when people do call him out, like in shut up and listen, he takes that as confirmation he's irredeemable and everyone is better off without him. both jacobi and eiffel are treating themselves as passive actors to avoid accountability, in some way, but what eiffel really needs to accept is that he's the only one who can live his life. he isn't a uniquely bad person doomed to harm and failure; he's just like everyone else.

(maybe worth noting in eiffel's view of himself as a bad person vs. the antagonists of the show, including jacobi, is how eiffel sees it as an inherent character flaw that he doesn't want but can't escape, while "let's go be monsters" etc. is an active choice and rationalization from someone who signed up to be the bad guy, who decided he could compartmentalize and live with that.)

another kinda interesting place i'd say jacobi's worldview clashes with eiffel's is that they are both centered on people first. unlike maxwell and kepler, i don't think jacobi really believes in his own version of The Big Picture - he just believes in people who believe. it's progress for the sake of progress, but the nature of that progress isn't his to define; he's not even pretending it is. "because people like me - and people like him - make it possible for people like maxwell to do their jobs." and where eiffel's perspective necessitates recognizing the humanity in everyone, jacobi rationalizes his actions through a strict us-versus-them mentality. so much of how he operates is explained by that line: "there aren't sides. there are just people you'd do things for and people you'd do things to."

#wolf 359 #w359 #like you're sending me a little essay prompt. i love that thank you #it's enrichment for me #focusing this mostly on jacobi because i talk about eiffel's issues all the time and uhh #i'm unlikely to post about jacobi unprompted. so.#also the line where hera tells jacobi she's never met anyone who worked so hard at being inhuman. yeah.#i swear i have thoughts about all aspects of this show and its characters #i even have thoughts about riemann #but i will keep posting about eiffel and hera anyway. it is my nature.#and it's kinda funny to me because jacobi and eiffel are two of the characters with the least narrative significance to each other #but even so there's a lot you can say about how their contrasting worldviews explore the themes of the show #gold standard character writing.#asks

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rubysparx · 7 months

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Oh ok cool if I can actually talk about being objectum can we have a conversation about borderlands guns.

#and Skyrim swords. those also #where my weaponum at #but yeah anyway I have . a lot of thoughts. on my borderlands guns #this is majorly includes my wonderlands guns too btw #I got this legendary.. gawd. she’s so pretty I love you tediore please keep doing that #send me asks abt this I need to show off my favorite guns and gun parts #objectum #os/or

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moonlitkilljoy · 10 months

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finally finished working on this refsheet for my oswald design!! this took forever (largely because i spent forever undoing and redoing things) but i think it was worth it in the end :3

(click for higher quality ^w^b)

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wyvernquill · 1 year

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Dreamling Anastasia AU Part 3

Part 1 here (the general concept and a scene of Dream recovering his memories and reuniting with his siblings), part 2 here (earlier scene of The Corinthian attacking Hob and “Murphy”). EDIT: there’s a masterpost now!

This one follows shortly after the excerpts in part 1, and references some details from the start of part 2. Hob has been called in to receive his reward of immortality from Death, but, well, if you’ve seen Anastasia, you know how he responded to that...

(Tagging @10moonymhrivertam and @martybaker - anyone else, feel free to let me know if you would like to be tagged in updates, too!)

---

“So this is your choice, Hob Gadling?”

Hob has heard stories about Death of the Endless, of course. Has even seen some portraits of her during his work for the Magus, Wanted posters with instructions on how to bind an Endless, what to look out for.

But all of that is incomparable to being in the not-quite-woman’s presence, to feel the weight of her existence and power press down on you. She is as weakened as the rest of them are, but it hardly feels like it to Hob.

(Or perhaps, what humanity has robbed her of is less her power, and more her ability to conceal it - he wouldn’t know.)

Not that he’s made to be unwelcomed in her presence, oh, surely not - she is warm and kind in bearing, certainly moreso than when they met last, and obviously grateful. And yet…

Well. Perhaps it’s merely Hob’s own guilt and heartache that is constricting his chest, and nothing to do with Lady Death at all.

“Yes, my Lady.” He affects a bow. Perhaps just to avoid her gaze, heavy and burning as a brand. She looks nothing like her brother, of course, but something about her still reminds him of Mur- of Dream. “May I be dismissed, then?”

“You may.” Death extends her hand as if to offer a handshake - but then seems to think better of it, tucking it behind her back. “Well met, Hob Gadling. The Endless thank you for the great service rendered to us - I thank you.”

Hob bows again, swallows down words on the tip of his tongue, thoughts he cannot possibly voice.

Humanity has made a mistake, in driving you all away.

I’m sorry. Please, tell him I’m sorry.

I’ve changed my mind.

Look after him. Please.

Has he changed much? Does he still laugh like a dying vulture? Does he still get cold hands in the snow?

Do you think he will miss me…?

“Well met, Lady Death.” He murmurs instead, and flees from the room.

---

Hob means to say his goodbyes to Gilbert - which soon reveals itself to have been a mistake.

What he finds, walking down a staircase not even halfway grand enough for the residence of six of the once-most-powerful entities in the universe, is not Gilbert, but a small gaggle of Endless, Delirium and Desire crowded around…

…around Dream, one fond hand resting on Delirium’s shoulder as he leans down to explain something to her, Desire instantly scoffing and contradicting him.

Hob stalls, and stares.

He has never seen Dream of the Endless before. Not like this.

Once, he saw a trapped creature in a cage, and once he saw a human dressed up in finery, but he hasn’t seen Dream.

His voice is even deeper, and much richer, now, Murphy’s hoarse rasp barely audible under a dark velvet rumble, and the robe draped over him falls in a way no mortal cloth ever could. He is still all skin and bones,of course, and a shock of ink-black hair, but the uncomfortable feeling of looking at someone so gangly and slightly sickly in appearance is simply… gone. As if something deep in Hob knows he’s not human, and no longer views him as such.

But it’s not only the physical changes, the added height, the ethereal air, no.

He holds himself differently, acts differently, and if Hob didn’t know they are/were the same person, he wouldn’t recognise Murphy in this entity at all.

There was always something sharp and frank about Murphy, an outcast unashamed of his eccentricities and bad temper, something raw and unapologetic. Murphy was cold and standoffish most of the time, and Hob had loved hi- had loved coaxing him into a tentative friendship, to banter back and forth, to enjoy his sharp wit.

But Dream of the Endless… no, Hob can see it at a glance, Dream is not like that at all.

Murphy would’ve spat a counter at his sibling with a vicious grin on his face, would quite possibly have sicced his raven on them, or at least threatened to.

Dream of the Endless is distant. Is removed. Carefully controlled in his measured riposte. And even when he glances down at Delirium, his smile is warm, is fond… but barely there. A twitch of his lips, a glimmer in his eyes. Murphy had smiled so rarely, but when he did, when he found something worth smiling at… they were full-face affairs, eyes crinkling and all. Honest and open, once the initial distrust was gone.

Hob thinks he can still see the resemblance, perhaps - but buried. Masked. Muted.

What remains of Murphy has drawn Dream of the Endless tightly around himself, like those ridiculous thick and overlarge coats he used to wear, or perhaps like a suit of armour, and will likely hide behind it for the rest of his existence.

(And it only makes sense, of course. Isn’t this what he and Gilbert have told Murphy a hundred thousand times? What they have taught him? What Murphy always struggled with the most?

Dream of the Endless must act befitting of his station at all times, they’d reminded him over and over again. He cannot conduct himself however he wants, can’t let himself be governed by his emotions. What kind of impression would that make? He is the King of Dreams, after all. He must reign those impulses in.

Well.

Looks like this lesson has caught on for good, hasn’t it.

And here Hob is, suddenly wishing to have wilful and unashamedly rude Murphy back - or even just a proper glimpse of him.)

Hob doesn’t know how long he stands there, eyes fixed on someone he has lost in more ways than one, a walking ghost, a warped afterimage - but it ends when Dream glances up, and meets Hob’s gaze with unerring precision.

And he’s not Murphy, he’s not, not quite, not enough, he won’t allow himself to be him, anyway…

And yet, Hob sees a single star each in midnight eyes, and his heart knows who it will love with every beat he has left.

---

Dream has felt the heavy weight of human eyes on him for a good minute now, but he waits, carefully, to acknowledge it. He chats with his siblings for a moment more, before he first looks up, and meets Hob Gadling’s eyes.

Once, perhaps, he would’ve done so defiantly. With a challenge. A glare, sharp and cutting.

Dream does not glare, not really. His face feels hard as stone, and twice as cold - that is all.

“Excuse me for but a moment, my siblings.” He steps away from Delirium and Desire, ignoring the latter’s knowing smirk, and holds out his arm to bid Matthew land on it.

And then he makes as if to simply breeze past Hob Gadling, only pausing to turn to him when he has passed the other on the stairs and towers over him.

(Hob used to look so strong and burly to Murphy’s eyes, powerful. Murphy never needed protecting, but it had pleased him, hadn’t it, when Hob did so. When, at last, someone other than Matthew and his other birds were willing to fight for him.

It had made him feel safe, then.

How strange, to now look at him and see nothing but a human. Small, powerless, inconsequential. A greedy, selfish wretch, who might have betrayed Dream as easily as helped him.)

“...Hob Gadling.” Dream says, archly, coldly. “You have received your payment from my sister, I suppose?”

“I’ve… gotten what I deserve, yes.” Hob smiles, but it does not quite reach his eyes. Perhaps this is something that has changed, or perhaps Murphy had just been too blind to recognise an insincere smile. “My business here is done.”

“Good.” Dream says, perhaps with too much vehemence. He is so furious with this man, and only more furious at himself for showing it, and for having once been so foolish to care for him.

“I’m… glad, though.” The smile softens, just a little. “That I could help you recover yourself, and reunite with your siblings, Murph-” a stumble over his words “-Morpheus.”

Glad? You are glad to be well-paid, Hob Gadling, do not pretend now to have aided me for anything but your reward! Dream nearly snaps in response - but Lucienne interrupts before he can do so.

“Mr. Gadling.” She bows, though at an angle Dream recognises to be somewhat disrespectful. He has confided the full sordid tale to her, of course, and her opinion on Hob is… not favourable, now. Her eyes are cold, over the rim of her glasses - as are Matthew’s from on his arm. “Please, do not address His Lordship so informally.”

“It is fine, Lucienne.” Dream holds up one hand. He appreciates her attempt, but he has spent many nights curled up beside Hob on a narrow and uncomfortable pallet at some cheap inn, the time for formality has come and gone. “There is no need-”

“No, no. By all means.” Hob interrupts, self-deprecating grin playing around his lips. “Let it not be said that I have denied you the deference you are owed. Not now, after… everything.”

He bows, low and… reverent, truly reverent. Dream is an Endless, he can tell.

“I greet you, Dream of the Endless,” Hob begins, “Lord Morpheus, the King of Dreams, Ruler of the Nightmare Realms, the Shaper of Form…”

Oh.

Oh, Hob is reciting-

Something deep in Dream cracks at the familiar cadence of The List, one of the lists, burned into him by hours of repetition.

(He is not Murphy anymore. Those are a stranger’s memories.

And yet, he remembers the feel of ice and snow on human skin, human hunger, human fear.

Remembers a terrifying and exhilarating run through cold streets, and an almost-kiss at the end of it.

Those memories are not nearly distant enough for his taste.)

He lets Hob recite the rest of the list of names, settles one hand on the bannister to fight the disorientation that comes with the strange double memory of recalling a thousand repetitions of these nearly-meaningless words, and the story behind each of these names, how he has come to be called by them.

There is a silence, after Hob finishes. He’s left out Oneiromancer, Dream notes distantly - perhaps on purpose, to goad Dream into correcting him.

He will not give Hob the satisfaction.

“Well.” Hob sighs, straightening up again. “Since we’re talking, now, I might as well tell you directly - I intend to continue pursuing the man who has been attempting to assassinate you, Your Highness. I think we’ll both sleep easier without the threat of him running about unchecked somewhere.”

“You need not-” Dream begins, but does not finish. The memory of the first night Hob came to his defence in this matter is still too fresh in his mind.

“I know I need not. I would still do it, for you.” Hob’s gaze is soft, hopeful, almost pleading. Dream does not trust it. “Your Highness.”

Dream’s hand tightens on the bannister.

“That is gratifying indeed,” he finally says, voice calm, but some of Murphy’s spite and fury seeping out at the edges of his false barely-there smile. “One may say what one will about mercenaries, but I am glad to hear that my sister is getting her money’s worth out of you.”

Hob flinches back as if struck, and something fierce and still hurt deep inside Dream rejoices at it.

“Certainly.” His smile is a ragged thing, pained, bleeding with shame and hurt. There is still a thin scar on his cheek, a wound Murphy once cleaned and treated. Dream turns half away so that he need no longer see it. “I live to serve.”

“You live - and will go on and on and on living - for yourself, Hob Gadling.” Dream whirls back to him to correct sharply. “You have made that more than clear!”

Matthew squawks angrily at his shoulder - and it halts Dream in his tracks.

He cannot come to blows with Hob Gadling here on this staircase, should not even shout at him, not with Delirium and Desire and Lucienne all in earshot.

This sort of behaviour does not befit a Dreamlord, after all - and it is only one more thing to despise about the man before him, how he reduces Dream to barely better than a human.

“I bid you farewell, Hob Gadling, and would wish you a long and prosperous life,” he half-sneers instead, “but such wishes do seem a little pointless to offer to a self-made immortal, aren’t they?”

He does not give Hob the opportunity to answer, turning away with a swirl of his robe and striding up the stairs with a passing play at indifference.

“...if I.” Hob Gadling calls after him, and there is something in his voice, helpless and pleading, that makes Dream halt, and turn again.

“If I were to. To make an appointment with you.” Hob ventures cautiously. “A good many years from now - say, a hundred, enough so that we may let bygones be bygones - to meet at that pub we first saw each other, in London… would you come?”

His first instinct is to blurt out a yes - and that alone makes Dream angrier than he can recall feeling ever before. Hob is terribly presumptuous in his hypotheticals, and how much worse that Dream’s fool heart is about to fall for it.

He draws himself up to his full height, and then a little taller still.

“I would not.” He spits the words out, throws them at Hob Gadling’s feet like a duel gauntlet. “I would never. Not in a hundred years, not in two hundred, and not a thousand more!”

“Ah.” Hob’s smile is small, and terribly sad. “Yeah. Figured as much.”

He bows, again, and Dream can feel, rather than see, Despair sliding out from behind a corner, attracted by the tang of tear-salt in Hob’s increasingly watery eyes.

“It is goodbye forever, then.” Hob Gadling tells the steps under his feet, and does not wait for an answer before turning away and leaving.

Good. Dream wouldn’t have given him one, anyway.

(It is strange and disorienting, not being Murphy anymore.

He has shed that existence like he has shed an old coat, recovered his true identity, and the memories of those years he spent in a humansuit fit him ill, now. Just like Murphy struggled to envision the thoughts and feelings of Dream of the Endless, so does Dream now struggle to recall the motivations behind Murphy’s actions, to reconstruct how he-but-not-him had seen the world.

Murphy would have held on to his fury for a while yet, but would have taken that chance at reconciliation if it were offered to him, Dream suspects. Because Murphy was oh so painfully human, in his habits and wants both.

Murphy wanted to be safe. To belong. To love and be loved, to be held. Wanted Hob, the way humans want one another, the sort of thing Desire once governed over - oh yes. He wanted Hob, most of all.

He no longer does, of course. No longer has these human, infantile wants for companionship and simple pleasures.

Dream of the Endless desires entirely different things. He only wants…

He wants…

He…

…he’s not…

…quite sure…?

Perhaps it will come back to him someday. These after-echoes of Murphy’s wants - that sudden inexplicable wish to run after Hob and hold on to him - will fade, and he will recall what is appropriate for Dream of the Endless to want.

One day, surely.)

#WyWrites #anastasia dreamling au #dreamling #the sandman #the staircase scene in the original is so delicious i simply HAD to recreate it in this AU #love writing dream all upset and lashing out #while at the same time repressing all his pesky emotions #while hob is just feeling terribly guilty and tries to make up for his past conduct #i have a lot of thoughts about dream and 'human' wants and all #as you may be able to tell #also standing invitation to send me asks about this!

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