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dice-wizard · 1 year

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Hello everyone looking for a new fantasy tabletop game!

As it nears backer release, there's never been a better time to pre-order Exalted: Essence

Pre-ordering gets you access to the beta document and the early release backer pdf.

What's Exalted you ask?

Exalted is an epic fantasy TTRPG where players play the titular Exalted - humans elevated to superhuman/demigod status - in a wild and unique setting that draws inspiration from the ancient world rather than medieval Europe. Creation (the setting) draws key inspirations from the entire world. If you're used to having to make yourself visible on your own in other fantasy, there's probably some representation in Exalted.

It has explicit queer and trans themes about finding your people, creating your own identity, and having the power to punch back at the people who hate you. This isn't incidental. The writing staff is queer as hell. You can hear me break this down more here.

Curious to learn all you can? Well you can get a detailed overview of the entire game on the podcast Systematic Understanding of Everything hosted by myself, @presidentofbirds and @phillycuriosity

If I'm used to D&D 5e why should I pick this up?

Well, I presume if you're reading this post you're already interested in trying something new, so:

The entire game in one book. Exalted: Essence is self contained, character types, equipment, enemies and all!

An exciting style of fantasy that's different than classic D&D but like, textually gay, and very easy to have scenes like ballroom fights, epic galas, and touching homoerotic healing scenes - no house rules required.

But also, tactical depth and combat you can really sink your teeth into if fighting monsters and villains is your bag.

An excuse to use all your d10s at once

Character building and advancement mechanics designed to be familiar to a 5e audience. Characters "level up" based on story beats, and have Advantages, which are functionally similar to class and race features.

A world welcoming to most heroic archetypes, so it's easy to convert your favorite OC.

Extremely kissable dragons, demons, gods, elementals, ghosts, faeries, and unnamed ancient horrors

I'm a fan of a previous edition, what's Essence got for me?

Design focused on alleviating some of the previous versions' missteps

Virtues are back, baby

2e fans will find it an improvement from second edition's mechanical strengths - it's pretty easy to convert all your favorite 2e Charms to XS.

Streamlined versions of familiar rules to make it painless to introduce new friends to the game we love.

The Cliff's notes on Ex3's new Exalt types.

Did I mention it's all of Exalted in one book?

How does it play?

d10 dice pool looking for 7,8,9 as successes. 10s count as two successes, which can lead to explosive, heroic outcomes

Combat system designed to keep all players engaged the entire time - even characters who aren't focused on fighting at all.

Combat also narrows the gap between experienced and new players and players who want to win at RPGs and players who just wanna vibe so GMs aren't tearing their hair out trying to balance encounters.

Social system designed to resolve in a single roll so you can be immersed in role play and not interrupt it with constant rolling - without sacrificing a variety of social approaches

"Ventures" system for characters working on long term projects from traveling across the world to crafting magical wonders to building communities without forcing this to be "downtime" activity

Characters have access to Charms - exception-based special powers that make them extremely good at whatever they focus on.

It's easily my favorite game (and the project I developed that I'm the proudest of), so I'm excited for everyone to try it out.

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pinkrasberryfish · 9 months

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I feel like a major part of Elriel is just like… the matching vibe. This is something we see in our other ACOTAR couples, and it’s partly why Elriel makes so much damn sense as endgame.

Let’s draw some comaprisons.

So baby Feysand. Feyre and Rhys have obvious compatibilities in their motivations, desires, and beliefs. They both give major Saviour Main Character energy by being self-sacrificing, fearless, and driven by morality and goodness above all else. Their love is centered around the themes of fate and destiny while their personalities share the same competitive spirit that binds them as friends AND lovers. They also both struggle with feeling “other,” and have overcome major trials to become stronger. In short, they carry the same compatible energy.

Then Nessian. Nesta and Cassian also share a similar energy even though they seem extremely different at first glance. When dissected, this pairing has similar drives, vibes, and goals. Firstly, they both have STRONG personalities. Nesta is outwardly chilly and confident, matching Cassian’s bold and gregarious energy. He is intense enough to match his mate, and the pair of them both share an extremely protective edge. Both tend to be overconfident and willing to charge into a fight they might not win, physically OR verbally. These two like to be opponents—to each other, to life, and to obstacles. They’re both always on the hunt for a fight, and share the same themes and desires.

Finally, we have Elriel. Elain and Azriel share similar themes, personality traits, and goals, just like Nessian and Feysand. They are both are observant, reserved, and easily contented. They have a quiet type of humor and seem to enjoy the small and simple things that others take for granted, like the freedom to fly or a quiet afternoon putzing around a garden. They’re never jostling for power amongst their siblings or trying to get prestige for their names. They both seem motivated by a strong inner desire to remain true to who they are, though they never hesitate to help or serve others. They seem motivated by love and the pursuit of a peaceful life, but are very quick to sacrifice their own desires for the greater good. They match!

This is why it feels so absurd to imagine Nesta with Rhysand or Feyre with Azriel or Elain with Cassian. Cassian needs a verbal sparring partner: Elain couldn’t be that for him. Azriel needs someone to listen without trying to problem-solve: Feyre couldn’t be that. And Nesta and Rhys would just kill each other. I know it’s pointless to say all this, but I’m just showing that we can see a romantic mismatch way quicker than a romantic MATCH.

Love stories that make SENSE and tickle the soul are the ones where the pair desire similar things while ALSO desiring each other. It’s not enough to have a sexy enemies-to-lovers or teacher-student premise. You need a couple that WORKS. Compatibilities are what makes characters drawn to one another even more than being beautiful or sexy or rich or whatever. Because all these characters are sexy and eternally gorgeous. That’s not enough to fuel the tension and draw and chemistry in an entire story. You need them to be chasing the same things and viewing the world in a way where they can understand how the other views it.

So anyways… Elriel is coming.

#elriel #elriel forever #pro elriel #elain archeron #elriel supremacy #pro elain #elain x azriel #elain #elriel trash #elriel is perfection #pro elain archeron #elain archeron is perfect

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huggybug · 1 year

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last night - mason mctavish

word count: 1.4k words

note: inspired by last night by morgan wallen.

“Baby, come back. I don't know everything we said last night but I know I want you back here with me, don't leave like this” You sigh as you listen to the voicemail Mason left this morning when he woke up.

You got up from Jamie's couch, stretching before making your way to the kitchen to make some coffee. You stand, watching Trevor's stupidly expensive espresso machine brew your coffee as memories from last night come back in pieces.

“You're fucking insane if you really believe that” Mason yells. He had just gotten home from the bar, the team had gone out to celebrate their win and yet again, Mason was hanging around some girl.

“No Mason, you don't get to make me feel bad for this one. It's happened multiple times now. You go out and find some girl and then I have to hear about it through snapchats or because your teammates are calling me to come get you because you're too drunk to leave on your own!”

“Well if I'm such a bad fucking boyfriend why are you still here, huh?” He asks, getting close to you, trying to make you back down.

“That's a great question Mase, I really don't know"”You spin around, leaving the kitchen and heading for your keys. “Yeah go run away from your shitty boyfriend” He calls after you, following you to the hallway.

“You're ridiculous Mason, I gave up so much for you and this is how you treat me?” He scoffs and you're immediately bracing yourself for whatever is about to come out of his mouth.

“And you think I don't make sacrifices for you?” He yells back, keeping the air thick around you.

“What have you sacrificed Mason? Please, tell me”

“My entire rookie experience for starters”

“Are you seriously going to complain right now that you're missing out on hooking up with girls after you begged me to move here? Are you kidding me Mason?” You were so close to turning around and leaving, getting the hell out of here as fast as you could.

“Well...”

“You're unbelievable Mason, un-fucking-believable” You grab your phone and keys in a huff, throwing the apartment door open.

“Y/n-” He sounds different now, softer maybe but you turn around, seeing red.

“I do everything for you! You asked me to move here, I did. You want me to come to your games, I do. Does it not occur to you that I have other things going on too? I guess not because I'm just your girlfriend, just here for looks, right?” You've heard the way some hockey players talk about their girlfriends; how they talk about them like they're objects or something they own, rather than someone they love. You'd never heard those types of things from Mason but at this point, you wouldn't put it past him.

“Stop doing that” Mason grumbled and you crossed your arms, staring at him.

“Doing what?” You were exhausted, you just wanted to retreat from this argument, to apologize and go back into the apartment and let him take you to bed but your dignity refused.

“Putting fucking words in my mouth!”

“You're just like the rest of them. You think you can get away with anything because all these girls are after you but guess what Mase? No self respecting woman is going to put up with this shit and if they do, they're not after you, they're after your status” Everyone thinks dating a professional athlete is amazing until they're actually doing it, then they can see it for what it really is, a reality you've recently discovered.

“You're always so worried about other girls, holy shit” Mason groaned.

“Well stop giving me a reason to” That's all you need to walk out. You leave, walking down the stairs and straight out the building, not stopping until you're a couple blocks away where you finally break down and call Jamie.

“You okay?” Jamie's voice cuts through the silence of the kitchen, making you jump. “You've been staring down at your coffee for a couple minutes”

“Sorry... I just-”

“You're good” Jamie smiled and you're suddenly overwhelmed by his kindness. This wasn't the first time you've had to call him to come pick you up after a fight with Mason. You knew it probably wasn't the best option since it's putting him in a tough spot but he's really your only good friend here and he's assured you many time's he doesn't mind. Actually his exact words usually were 'I can handle some awkwardness with MacT if it means you're safe'. Long story short, Jamie's an amazing friend.

“I should probably get going anyways” You say quietly, taking a sip of your coffee and cringing at the bitterness.

“Back to Mason's?” He asks and you feel a little embarrassed when you nod. “You don't have to, you know? You can stay here for a bit, we really don't mind.” While Jamie was cool, you're not so sure about Trevor. You know better than to think he'd kick you out but he definitely felt a little weird about you staying here during one of your and Mason's fights.

“Thanks but I should. He called a couple hours ago so I should head back and try and talk to him”

“Okay, I’ll give you a ride back”

…

You let yourself back into Mason’s apartment. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s still asleep with how quiet it is. You drop your keys in the dish on the hallway table before walking into the kitchen where he’s sitting with his head down on the counter.

“Mase?” His head snaps up and you feel a wave of emotion wash over you. He looks like a wreck.

“Hey” His voice is so soft, it’s like a completely different person compared to the one yelling at you last night. “I’m sorry, okay? Last night was just way out of hand”

“I can’t keep doing this Mason” You sighed.

“I was drunk. I said shit I didn’t mean and I’m sorry but I woke up and I knew I still wanted this, wanted us” He sounded so sincere, your heart was battling trying to stay mad at him. “I want to fix this… I need to”

“One more chance” You said reluctantly. Mason was relieved, he knew this wasn’t over yet.

…

You knew it was over when they were on the road in Toronto. Mason went out with some friends from back home and once again, you saw it all on snapchat. He was dancing with a girl hanging off of him and you decided that you’ve finally had enough. You spent the next 24 hours packing up everything you had, determined to be moved out before they even made it back to Anaheim.

You must’ve gotten the times mixed up because Mason walked in as you were collecting the last of your stuff in the bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

“I said you had one more chance Mason”

“I didn’t do shit!” He objected and you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever, I’m leaving” You didn’t have any fight left in you. Your stuff was all packed up into two suitcases and you were more than ready to go home.

“Yeah okay, see you when Jamie and Z kick you out” He scoffed.

“I called my mom, I’m going home” You informed him. You’re not sure why, it’s not like he deserves to know but it feels more vindicating to let him know you’re leaving California entirely.

“You’re just going to leave? What about working through it? Does this relationship not mean anything to you?” He yelled as you pulled your bags out of the bedroom and towards the door.

“It meant a hell of a lot more when you weren’t flirting with random girls every time you go out” You yell back, hating that it’s come to this. That the guy you loved has lead you to a place of hatred. “You ruined this Mason, not me. I gave you so many chances to try and fix it but you don’t care, I don’t think you ever did”

“You can’t say that!”

“Yeah well I did. Have a nice life McTavish” You push your bags out into the hall and slam the door behind you, making your way to the elevator and not daring to look back.

#mason mctavish #mason mctavish x reader #mason mctavish fic #mason mctavish imagine #anaheim ducks #hockey writing #nhl imagine

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imagines-all-day-everyday · 2 years

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Life with Robb Stark after the war would include...

first of all, red wedding? what is that? never happened, never going to happen

robb wins his war and the north gains their independence

all of a sudden he really is king of the north

king robb stark of winterfell, the title was weird to him

what was even weirder was how he was treated so differently

because even when he was rebelling against the lannister's, he'd been just that, a rebel. but now he was actually a king, he could sense how skittish his men were around him

except you

your parents were wealthy merchants in winterfell with close ties to the starks

so, naturally you'd grown up alongside the stark siblings

but you and robb had always been the closest, joined at the hip since before you could walk

your parents always knew you'd end up together

but the two of you had always insisted you were just friends, nothing more

but then ned died and all of a sudden he was marching off to war

and you stuck by his side through thick and thin, never treating him any differently just because he was 'king robb'

you were always more than happy to tell him how he was fucking up

and holy shit could you dish it out and stand your ground

and maybe he had just been too caught up in himself but it hit him in that moment as you were yelling at him for doing something stupid and self sacrificing in the middle of the battle

holy shit he was in love with you

robb had always been in love with you actually, if he was being totally honest with himself

he kept it to himself because he needed to be 100% focused and if you rejected his advances he'd probably lose the whole god damn war

but then he won and after that last battle he finds you in your tent, his armour still on and soaked with blood

and this man pours his fucking heart out to you and you do the same because you've been in love with this man since you could remember

"I can't believe our parents were fucking right."

"We're never going to hear the end of this are we?"

you get married very quickly after that because you have spent your entire lives denying your feelings and you are not going to waste anymore time pretending that you aren't soulmates

now they chant and toast to the king and queen of the north

it takes a long time for you to get used to being called queen

the people of the north adoring you

like you are 1000% the favourite

but robb doesn't blame them one bit

especially when he sees you spending your time tending to the poor and sick and visiting surrounding villages

catelyn approving of you (shockingly)

although she has kind of a complex with you because you technically have taken her place

but robb puts a stop to her bitchiness the second he spots it

but you can hold your own too

finally getting the other stark children back

and although nothing will ever replace the loss of ned, you feel like a family

and it is not long until you and robb start your own

it took a little while for you to fall pregnant

not for lack of trying

neither of you minded it taking a little longer

"well we just need more practice love"

then you finally fall pregnant and this man just spins you around and showers you with kisses

robb being the most protective and excited dad of all time before the baby is even born

like he is constantly rubbing your belly and talking to the baby which makes you love him even more

arya and sansa being so excited to be aunts

catelyn was not overly fussed on the new nickname 'granny' being thrown around by her kids

but she could hardly contain her excitement

robb holding your hand the entire time while you give birth even though at some points he was convinced you were going to crush it

he sobs when he cradles his son in his arms for the first time

baby eddard stark is the first

neddy for short of course

and four more follow after him because you grew up seeing how happy the stark kids were with their siblings and you want the exact same for your kids and so does robb

after neddy is jon, then alys, alira and lastly baby mikal

winterfell castle being just pure chaos 24/7

you and robb would finally think you were getting a sleep in when you would hear the laughter from the hallway and your precious alone time would vanish right before your eyes

servants would literally have to leap out of the way as your kids bolted the hallways

"well they have definitely inherited your spirit"

"and they have inherited your stubbornness"

oh god and the chaos at dinner

sometimes the kids would be fighting and playing and you and robb would just give up and look at each other from opposite ends of the table and shrug in defeat

robb being the most gentle, caring and devoted father to all of his kids

and he is such a softy when it comes to his two girls

like this man literally defeated the lannisters yet he cannot bring himself to say no to two tiny children

robb teaching all of the kids archery and sword fighting

"don't you think you're starting them a bit young?"

"I was three when I picked up my first sword and look how I turned out."

"exactly."

the kids being so excited when uncle jon comes to visit

missing robb like crazy when he goes away on some sort of expedition or mission

and your children pick up on this and go out of their way to be slightly more manageable then usual

robb coming home a day early to surprise you to find all six of you asleep in bed together, cuddling and softly snoring

oh and you know grey wind becomes their personal guard dog

and you can tell he is beyond unimpressed when one of the toddlers tries to clamber onto his back or tug on his tail

but he puts up with it, you think he secretly enjoys it

because like robb, he is a massive softy on the inside

you and robb just having the most blissful marriage ever

like you have been best friends with this man since you could walk so you know each other inside and out

you can read each other perfectly so your fights are always so short lived and trivial

you could be married for years and this man will still act like a hormonal teenager around you

much to your children's disgust

"let's make another baby"

"I think five is more than enough Robb."

"let's practice then"

catelyn struggling sometimes because she sees how robb is with you and the kids and it reminds her so much of ned

but she is so happy to be a grandmother and is more than happy to take them off your hands to give you both some private time

everyday you wake up and think you couldn't possibly love this man anymore but somehow you fall more in love with him everyday

basically just being the antithesis of everything expected of westeros relationships and marriages

like you two are so goddamn healthy and normal it's almost weird

cersei could never :P

robb just getting everything he deserves and more because he is an angel

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the-krakens-bitch · 4 months

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This is a quick idea of who is least to most likely to be the one who dies at the end of the show.

Charlie: 6:

It won't be her.

Not only is she the protagonist, but she is one of the primary female characters in a show that is dominant in other male characters, and killing her, just reduces the key aspects of the narrative.

Angel: 5:

The fan favourite

Angel Dust is the character that also has a lot of emotional devices attached to them, and by killing them they would stunt his character development, including the triumph against Valentino and his relationship with Husk

I considered that his death may highlight him being redeemed, such as other characters seen within other narratives, however, with this episode, Angel's goodness and redemption were already displayed

Niffty: 4:

Not to sound mean, but out of everyone I kinda hope its Nifty

However, I know it won't, BECAUSE, of this reason.

Nifty has no strong attachment towards the audience and the other characters, such as Alastor and Angel Dust, thus her death won't entirely be that emotional and beneficial towards the overall narrative

The last 3 are the hardest:

Vaggie: 3:

I don't think that Vivziepop would kill off one of her most prominent female characters, especially one who is in a gay relationship with the protagonist (Is it burry the gays if they are already dead. Technically Charlie and Vaggie aren't even dead they are more like eternal beings or omens)

However, it would connect towards Vaggie's line in ‘Whatever it Takes’ (Absolute underrated bop) “I’ll be your armour”, the idea that Vaggie's foundation of her self-worth is from Charlie's satisfaction and happiness rather than herself.

This would cause emotional anguish in Charlie which would force her to evolve and grow in the proceeding seasons.

Husk: 2:

Before watching the show, especially episode 4, Husk had no direct attachment to any of the characters, thus having a similar effect with Niffty. However, with his and Angel's relationship development, he now has an emotional aspect that would convert his death being an impactful event.

I don't believe that they would do this, due to his and Angel's relationship not having a significant romantic event (yet) that would cause more determination to win the fight against Heaven (Loser Baby was amazing, but it wasn't the romantic pull entirely required)

I believe that If he did die, it would be similar to Vaggie, in the way that he was a sacrifice for another person, in his case Angel

This can be further through the series of Angel facing the world for the sake of the soul who truly believed in him, similar to the values that Husk presented in episode 6 at the bar.

Alastor: 1:

The most prominent character development displayed would be Alastor dying for the sake of Charlie and the Hotel, something that pilot him would be baffled by.

However (Here with another however) I don't think it would happen.

Alastor death would affect the other characters, especially Charlie, while the others, Husk and Niffty, wouldn't have the same melancholy compared to her.

But since he has such a deep and rich history, with theories connecting him to Lillith, I don't believe that they are gonna “Waste” him. (This idea/excuse is the weakest compared to the others, so I kinda do think it will be him)

Bonus:

The character that I completely believe would die is….

Sire Pentious!!

(Sorry to his fans)

My reasons are that he doesn't have any direct ties to anyone, such as Vaggie and Charlie, Charlie and Alastor, and Angel and Husk.

However, he is prominent enough for the audience and the characters to know him enough and can sense his development of becoming a better soul.

Compared to the pilot trying to destroy Cherry Bomb and to him trying to flirt with her. He is trying to become a better person, and the classic convention of him sacrificing himself for someone else would show how he has developed over the series.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #headcanon #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel chaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel analysis

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sixofpomegranates · 2 years

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"I told you, if i can't fix your problems, I'll just get rid of them."

♜𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠♖— 𝚂.𝚁.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Unsub!Fem!Reader

A/N: !Skin Color & Ethnicity Neutral! Inspired by a book idea I have.

CW: angst 18+ | Mentions of Spencer's canon TRAUMA/Cat Adams/Murder/Crime Scenes, PTSD, GORE, failing justice system, very vague Sex Scenes,

I'd often found myself in helpless situations. I was kidnapped, tortured, drugged, held hostage, almost sacrificed... The thing that always got me through was my fundamental belief in justice.

I never did bad, always played by the rules. I helped the helpless, I caught the bad guys, and I hated myself for every ounce of harm I had to cause to survive.

I am a good person, and yet it seems to bring me nothing.

She'll be out. In a couple of days, Cat Adams is going to be out of prison.

An error of the court.

The lawyer had been high on heavy pain medication during her trial.

There will be a new court trial, according to everyone involved, but I know better than to believe in it.

The minute Cat Adams is free, she will vanish into thin air. All my suffering, all the statements of myself and my therapist, and all the times I had to stand before court and explain the torture I went through due to her have been for nothing.

I'd held back the urge to scream, cry, and vomit as I was informed about it, and by the time I am home that evening, I solely feel tired.

How much do I have to endure?

How did I always be a good person, following the rules, and yet I'm still getting fucked over?

How do the people, molding their morals as they seem fit and simply doing as they please no matter the harm they cause, always win?

I need a calm minute.

Darkness is clouding my mind; a depressive state starting to numb my bones. If I can't rely on justice, then what do I have left?

As I open the door to my apartment, I'm struck with dread.

The light in my bedroom is on, the half-opened door allowing it to illuminate the dark living room, and soft jazz music comes from my record player.

Somebody is here.

Cat isn't out yet.

It can't be her.

No.

Oxygen becomes a luxury as my body falls into a state of panic.

I grab my gun and slowly walk forward toward the bedroom. I can't hear a thing going inside, can't make out who is in there.

Pressing my eyes shut for a second, I take a deep breath and then storm inside.

"Freeze," I exclaim, taking in the scene before me.

It isn't Cat, yet there sits a barely dressed woman on my bed. A woman I know all too well.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, having her not even look up from what she is reading. She hadn't even flinched as I'd thundered in with my gun pointed at her.

"Put the gun down, Spencer. You're going to hurt yourself," she states, relaxed, going through one of the FBI files I keep locked away in my safe.

"How did you get in here?" I question her, and she finally looks at me.

"You need better locks, baby," she lectures me more than disinterested.

She has never been in my home before... at least not that I know. She usually keeps her distance, keeps it more accessible for herself to vanish before the morning, leaving me to wake up alone in a hotel bed.

"You picked my locks?"

She scrunches her nose, feigning disappointment. "Every novice is capable of getting in here. I almost feel insulted that you're surprised I managed to get in."

I finally lower my gun. This woman is a menace, but my messed up sense of self refuses to let me feel threatened by her.

She is like a dark shadow following me for over a year now, yet, I don't fear her, detest her, or want to get rid of her. Somehow I feel a connection between us – something not only coming from the nights we spent together in hotels across America.

She is almost always where I am. In the beginning, I seriously thought we would just randomly meet every other month, but she is always there.

When I am out there, hunting an unsub, my dark, little shadow follows me; when the unsub threatens to get away or harm me, my shadow devours the threat, leaving them served on a silver platter – more times than not, this happens literally.

Sitting down on my bed, I don't worry about turning my back to her. The fright of might getting stabbed by her eased after the first eight months of our... relationship. I sigh deeply while kicking off my shoes, slumping together like a sack of potatoes.

As I rest my elbows on my thighs, face buried in my hands, I feel hers on my back, softly rubbing circles into my skin.

"Where were you today?" she asks, something close to concern in her voice. "You weren't at the headquarters."

I stopped questioning how she knows information like this a while ago.

"Court," I reply as she hugs me from behind, her legs on either of my sides.

"Why?"

I chuckle weakly as she pulls me back, having me rest with my back against her chest. "You can't bare it not to know everything, am I right?"

"Pains me," she admits, wrapping one arm around me, the other running through my curls. "Diana's doing fine, by the way. They have her on this new medication that is very well-spoken of in Europe, and it appears that there are almost no side effects and just positives. They also have this new home-movie system somebody so graciously donated, and now there are many, many movie nights with James Dean, Frank Sinatra, and Fred Astaire for her to enjoy."

Relaxing into her, I smile at the knowledge that at least one Reid is doing well. My shadow had me suspicious of her as I met her as a nurse at my mom's care facility four months into our thing.

That was when I started counting one and one together:

She was at the crime scenes.

She was at my hotels.

She was everywhere.

Wigs, contacts, accents, different languages (I've counted four until now, spoken without any accent, flawlessly), different handwriting, different body languages, different walks, different names and IDs.

My shadow is smart, but somehow I intrigued her enough to come out and play. Meeting me in hotel bars, keeping up her disguises, both of us knowing it is her – me, still not exactly knowing who she is.

"Thank you, love," I tell her, and she kisses my temple.

"Now, why court?"

"Cat Adams," I tell her, triggering one of her almost medically clean information dumps.

"Catherine Adams. Alias's Cat, Miss .45, and The Black Widow Killer. Convicted for murder – over 204 – two attempted murders, one murder by proxy, 2009 attempted murders by proxy, two abductions by proxy, taking hostages, assault with an unlicensed gun, drugging, conspiring against the federal bureau of investigation–"

I interrupt her, "I was in prison because of her. She is obsessed with me."

I feel her tense up but continue her sentence, "Found guilty and to be executed by–"

I interrupt her again. "Court Error. She'll be free to go by the end of next week."

"No," my shadow says, no readable emotion in her voice.

"Just found out about it today. The system fucked up, and she'll be out to roam the streets again."

The woman behind me exhales sharply. I search for her gaze and am met with the cold stare of a predator. "She will come for you again," she states.

I nod, smiling through the tears pooling in my eyes. "I don't think I have a chance of escaping her. Don't even think the justice system is able to fix this mess once they let her out."

Getting up, I start stripping out of my clothes and walk into my bathroom. I step into my shower and wash off the signs of me crying. It has been a while since I last cried due to a helpless situation.

I feel my shadow get behind me into the shower, her arms wrapping around my naked body, her body pressing against my back.

"It's going to be okay," she vows softly, her cheek pressed against my back.

"You can't promise that," I answer croaky.

She turns me around, the warm water now running down my back. I stare at her beautiful face and naked form. I'd like to say I love every single imperfection on her body, but the feelings I have for my shadow are running so much deeper than that.

Rationally, I should avoid her, should inform the team about how deeply we are involved.

I should think of the one time we caught her at a crime scene. How she was standing there between crucified men, who'd been wanted for sex trafficking children. How impassive she was as I put my handcuffs on her, telling her her Miranda Rights.

"We're fixing this, Spencer. I promise I'll help you," she coos softly, brushing my wet hair out of my face. "I'm very good at fixing problems. I swear if push comes to shove, I'll make it go away."

My shadow has an astonishing thrive for justice. She is a dangerous weapon, yet, I am able to feel safe in her presence.

She cups my face and brings my lips to hers. I let it happen, deepen the kiss, and I counter every touch. It's dark and animalistic when we are together; it seems brutal, downright unholy, when I press her face first against the shower tiles and take what I need.

I always considered myself a gentle person, a gentle lover. I always held back, always made sure my partner came first in every instance, but my shadow thrives on seeing every part of me, no matter how depraved and selfish. She provides me with an outlet for all my pent-up feelings. She sees my ugliest, most unlovable self and still looks at me as though I am the most beautiful piece of art she ever laid her pretty eyes upon.

The darkness enveloping me when I am with my shadow is the only time I feel safe without seeing the light. It's the only time I ever consider their to be grey in the term justice.

How often does justice fail to happen, even when brought to court?

How often does a victim do everything right, and yet the perpetrator walks free?

Is my shadow truly a bad person? She never hurt anybody who didn't deserve it. The only thing speaking against her actions is the laws against vigilantism.

Maybe I should've killed Cat Adams when I had the chance; should've ignored all reason and common sense and strangled her.

My hand between her shoulder blades, I press my shadow harder against the tiles. She groans in a mixture of pleasure and pain as I glance at the scar on her trapezius muscle between her lower neck and shoulder blade.

Under the scar is a tattooed number: 1.007

Once she was taken into custody, the team and I came to many realizations:

She had no fingerprints (the skin from her fingers had been professionally and cleanly removed when she was relatively young, leaving her with now healed but fingerprint-less hands), she had no real identity, was in no system, and she was an intelligent and well-trained soldier of whatever kind.

Within two hours after her arrest, Linda Barnes, followed by men dressed in black working under the President himself, had come to get my shadow and every ounce of information we had on her.

Number 1.007 has immunity.

Number 1.007 has many names and identities, but to the nation, she's a number.

Number 1.007 is a weapon that was once chipped like a dog.

I don't know what happened to her, what organization trained her, how old she was when taken in, if she had family, or how she ended up hunting on her own without supervision.

All I know is that my shadow found me, and something within me let her let her guard down. The trained weapon considers me hers, and I welcome her claim on me.

*****

Sent home from a case two hours earlier, I exit the cab I have taken to the FBI Headquarters in Quantico.

Emily had gotten a call from Barnes. That is all I know.

I enter the FBI's Assistant Director of National Security's office, being met by her cold gaze and two police officers.

They all greet me professionally. I shake their hands, although everything within me finds it revolting.

I sit down, and they offer me coffee. I decline and question their reason for bringing me away from a case—all three exchange uncomfortable glances.

Linda Barnes speaks first, insisting that she ordered it since she found it imported I'd come here and hear it first from the officers instead of the news. Her cold gaze looks more sympathetic than I ever thought her able to be.

Then one of the officers informs me: Cat Adams is dead.

I don't know how to feel. For a moment, it just feels like somebody pulled the carpet away right under my feet. I am glad I am sitting.

Dead.

They inform me about Barnes having given them my alibi (being in a different state, working on a case). They ask me if I want to see photos of the crime scene, thinking I'd recognize something – anything – as they appear to have nothing.

I agree. Barnes assures me that I do not need to feel obligated to do so, but I agree.

Somehow I don't feel like Cat is actually dead (that the nightmare is over) until I see her body.

Symbolism.

Cat Adams was murdered in an unidentified location but presented on a silver platter in the very courthouse she gained her freedom in.

The scene presents itself right in the grand entrance hall. Right in front of the statue of Lady Justice.

The Lady's scale holds Cat Adams's heart on one side and a stag of papers (her charges) on the other.

Her lifeless body has been gutted and placed kneeling in front of the statue; with a brush in her hands, she (or rather somebody, as she was already dead for a couple of hours at this point) used her blood as ink to write "Summum ius, summa iniuria." Latin for "More law, less justice." on the ground between them.

This is my shadow's work. I can feel her energy radiating from every detail of the crime scene. I don't mention her with any word, though I should. This should scare me. I should feel more than I do.

I can't help the cops with their investigation. Cat Adams had many enemies. She hurt plenty of people. Many were angered as the verdict was revoked due to the court's errors. People had called for justice, but the law had to let her go.

This could be the work of anybody she wronged. Just not me. I have an alibi.

Barns wraps the questioning up, sending me home for a few days.

*****

I already lie in bed when I hear my apartment door opening. My brand-new home-security system goes off, but somebody enters the code and it falls silent.

The door closes, gets locked, and the security system gets activated again.

There are no sounds, and I consider the possibility of her having left again until the mattress behind me sinks in, and she snuggles up behind me.

"What the fuck have you done?" I ask her calmly, making her giggle. "Oh, big boy words."

I turn on the lamp on my bedside table, sitting up. Just now noticing the missing one on her side. How does my shadow manage to smile and be happy although she murdered somebody no 24 hours ago?

"I am serious," I say, angrier than I thought I was. "You killed Cat."

"I told you I'd help you," she says, her smile leaving her face. "Why are you angry with me?"

Pressing the heel of my palm against my eyes, I try to be calm, but my past trauma shows itself in pure anger, annoyance, and confusion. "You realize that this is not a normal conversation I should have with you, right? I should not have to explain to you why killing somebody isn't okay. D-Do I have to worry that one day you'll snap, and then I am next?"

I speak my last sentence without thinking about it. I don't fear my little shadow; I love this mystery of a woman I barely know.

Her face pulls into a hurt expression. "That's bullshit. You know I'd never hurt you, Spencer."

"Do I know? Fuck, I don't even know your name."

"That's because I don't have one," my dark shadow hisses at me, tears in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and then explains, "I told you, if I can't fix your problem, I'll just get rid of it."

She did. She had told me the – for her so logical – plan.

"I didn't think you would go that far... Or do anything at all," I admit.

A sob escapes her. "I- I didn't want to do it." She clears her throat and starts again. "I wanted to do it for what she did to you, but I was willing to simply keep an eye on her until her trial because you like your justice to be legal."

"And yet she wound up dead."

"Because she showed up here. The minute she was out, she came here, and let herself in like she owned the place," my shadow says, adding, "I told you you need better locks."

"So you killed her?"

She looks at me, irritated. "No, Spencer. I tried to talk to her. I made clear that you're mine and that I don't want her anywhere near you. She was the one attacking me. I'm not letting myself get attacked by a psychotic bitch, so I whacked her with the lamp from my bedside."

So that was why the lamp was missing.

"So it was self-defense?" I ask, tracing the deeply dark, bruised skin of her shoulder as she pulls my cardigan (the one I thought I lost) over her shoulder.

"Don't know if I'd call it self-defense since she didn't exactly have the military training advantages I have, but yeah. Sure. But it's not exactly like I could just call the cops, you know?" My shadow lifts her hand as to hint at the fact that she legally doesn't exist, then drops it again. "I didn't kill her with the lamp, but, like, it's not like there was a way to step back from the situation, so I just continued as I usually would."

"And that was the scene before Lady Justice?"

She nodded, stating, "If you can't live as a good example, you'll die as a warning for others following down your path. I tried to do it your way, and it didn't work. I don't regret having done what needed to be done to keep you safe."

Cat Adams broke me. She had me rot in prison for months; she let me live years of believing she raped me; she made me a murderer, let me think my mother was dead, that I'd caused her miscarriage...

Cat ridiculed the trauma she caused me and did what she could to convince me I was just as much of a monster as she was, so I'd let her lay her claim on me.

The woman beside me sobs, a tear running down her face. "You hate me now, don't you?"

"I don't. Could never," I answer. I delight in the knowledge that Cat finally got what she deserved.

The monster haunting my nightmares and messing with my head for so long is gone.

She underestimated my little, dark shadow and put herself in a cage with a monster just as big and scary but way more efficient than herself.

In the end, Cat Adams chose her ending herself. She could've left but refused to let go of the chance to have me. She chose her fate by challenging my shadow's claim on me and forcing her hand to keep me safe.

"I can't believe that it's over," I finally say, realizing I am crying like a child as the woman beside me cups my face in her hands. "It's over."

People say to forgive and forget. They insist on never holding a grudge and moving on, being the bigger person. Forgiveness is a cute idea, but it doesn't change that you suffer the consequences of another person's evil doings.

I laugh through the tears, savoring the relief of justice.

Cat will never again be able to hurt me.

I can move on and heal without fear.

I wrap my arms around my shadow, pulling her into the pillows with me. She cries too. Fair enough, I cry harder, but she clearly sheds tears of compassion, of love.

Who would've thought that the most real form of raw, unapologetic love I'd ever experience would come from someone that officially doesn't even exist?

"[y/n]," she whispers, making me look at her. "I don't have a real name, but I like [y/n]. That- That's all that I can give to you."

"It's more than enough," I whisper back, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

She freed me from the specter haunting me in the only way she seems to have learned how to, and although our future is uncertain, I doubt she even knows who she is herself, and one day my shadow will have to step into the light: I have laid my claim onto her just as much as she has laid hers on me.

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any-n-everything · 8 months

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something about bingqiu/bingyuan

i read mdzs first, followed by svsss, and then tgcf

i like all of them but there was always something that bothered me about svsss and that was the main cp, bingqiu/bingyuan

because, when i read mdzs and tgcf, i could more or less understand why wangxian and hualian were couples. because despite their vastly different personalities, their core values more or less aligned with one another. and i think that's neat and i love them for it.

but bingqiu/bingyuan always confused me because i couldn't make sense of their core values/why were they attracted to each other. i mean. i guess we can take the "shallow reading" route and say that it's because shen yuan has always adored binghe-the-white-lotus-protagonist and luo binghe loved shen yuan because he consistently chose him(?). their relationship is complicated and kind of a mess but like it's theirs so im not gonna bother too much about it.

but maybe because i like over-analysing, i still want to confirm to myself if they have a shared "core value" like the other two mxtx couples.

which leads me to my theory that their core value is their shared sense of self-preservation.

it makes sense to me because, from the moment shen yuan woke up as "scum villain shen qingqiu", he was predominantly motivated by his desire to keep living. many of his actions can be explained by this. which makes shen yuan's decision to NOT push binghe into the abyss very much an act of love, because he was essentially sacrificing what he holds dear (his own life) for his disciple. this was all ruined by the system, of course, and shen yuan was forced to push binghe into the abyss. he then became a grieving widow master.

so shen yuan's following actions were very interesting because he was very much expecting luo binghe to come kill him, but also, he kind of didn't want to die? but luo binghe kind of also has a right to murder his traitorous self? so he concocted the mushroom body plan. this way, binghe can get his closure by murdering his scum master, and shen yuan can continue to live! win-win amirite?

SQH: why are you like this cucumber-bro

and we all know how well that plan went

anyways, i went off on a tangent, BUT BASICALLY. shen yuan has very strong self-preservation instincts, but specifically when luo binghe is out of the picture. around LBH he just has the self-preservation of a lemming.

now binghe is harder to analyse (for me) because the novel is mostly in shen yuan's pov and he's an Unreliable Narrator so i'll be mostly focusing on binghe's life events and actions.

which are basically:

he survived the cold waters of the luo river as a baby

he survived a poor childhood when his adoptive mother didn't

he survived until he reached cang qiong mountain sect

he survived shen qingqiu (version shen jiu) and the bullying of his martial siblings

he survived being pushed down into the abyss

basically, binghe is a survivor. no matter what happens, he has a very strong desire to survive and is, more often than not, willing to pay any cost. the cost he isn't willing to pay, however, is shen yuan.

off the top of my head an example would be how bingge (he-with-no-shen-yuan) took a harem of beauties so he could control xin mo but bingmei (he-with-shen-yuan) decided to just... cripple people's cultivation. they're kind of both equally bad (let us never forget that bingge is a rapist) but it seemed that bingmei did not want to be intimate with anyone because he had shen yuan in his heart. i dunno if this makes sense but what i'm getting at is that binghe was willing to pay other people's lives just so he didn't have to be intimate with anyone except shen yuan.

so there's something poetic about how shen yuan would pay his life for binghe and binghe would pay literally anything else except shen yuan (and i guess the things/people he cares about and are related to him).

and im really not here to discuss morality or anything but looking at bingqiu/bingyuan, i still get the feeling that, if shen yuan hadn't been born with "modern standards" and "modern sensibilities", he would be a little more callous and uncaring of other people's lives. because, at his core, he would prioritise his own life over other people's. like, you know, his husband.

that's not the shen yuan we got tho so oh well

#svsss #svsss meta #scum villain self saving system #bingqiu #bingyuan #something something two sides of the same coin #word vomit express #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #luo binghe

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undead-potatoes · 5 months

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I've been trying to figure out just who Aurora is, or rather why she is the way she is and why she fights the Urge the way she does.

I think she was always going to be a resist Durge, both bc of the way I make characters, but also bc of my own issues with intrusive thoughts. Like it have gotten so bad at times that it have brought on borderline suicidal thoughts for me, and playing a resist Durge has been strangely cathartic while still having fun with it bc it's taken to such silly extremes (and it's fun to be unhinged about shit sometimes). To fight the demons in your mind with everything you've got, and fucking win? Because at the very core of you there's a good person? That's the real power fantasy right there.

The basic idea is that getting non-consensual brain surgery and tadpoled caused a sort of factory reset in her brain, reverting her back to a version of herself similar to the time before the Urge.

I need to write a post about her background and all, but tl;dr: she grew up in a small, but close knit community in the poorer areas of Baldur's Gate, consisting mostly of other dwarves. So much of her upbringing was about the love and joy forged in human? dwarven? connections, and in looking out for one another. Her adoptive mother was also of the altruistic sort, which might be where some of Aurora's more self sacrificing tendencies stem from.

It's a funny little case of nature vs nurture. On one hand she's a child of Bhaal, his literal flesh and blood, with death and murder at the very core of her being. On the other there's years and years of learned empathy and kindness, genuinely felt and displayed, and it has wrapped itself so tightly around that bloodstained core that it can't simply be cut away.

She've also been fighting the Urge for a long time, I think, since before she was an adult. This has no real base in canon, but I love the idea of it starting small when she's a little kid, and her having to learn to live with it, to suppress it the best she can. That she would work so hard to be so good, in opposition to the depravity boiling hot in the back of her mind, which is partly why she's so good at resisting later on; it's second nature to her, as natural as breathing.

When she wakes up on that beach it's just her again, a ghost of her former self, but it's her nonetheless. The Urge is there too, trapped among the threads of her former life once again, and held in check for just a little bit longer.

This feels like a lot of words saying a whole lot of nothing, like there's about 19 layers of further explanation and nuance that naturally connects to all of this but is hard to explain simply. Reading through all of this feels so fucking cringe, but I'm trying to be sincere here so I'm just pushing through it. It doesn't have to be good, it just have to make me feel good (and a little insane).

Kinda unrelated, but it's also important to me that Aurora just has all the weird little tics, like doing the etch-a-sketch head shake, loudly telling her Urges to shut up, or doing a bunch of weird fidgeting when she's especially stressed out. And then ofc doing her very best to hide or mask that when other people are around and can see/hear her. Baby girl I'm giving you so much of my mental baggage, I'm so sorry and I love you.

#Sunny Plays BG3 #OC: Aurora Dawnbringer #*shouts out to a crowd of 2 people* hey is this anything #the reason I feel I can justify much of this is bc amnesia often affects different parts of the brain #so it can obliterate your memory but you can still feel empathy or know how to speak or have critical thinking skills etc #aka much of the ''old'' Aurora is still in there when it's no longer suppressed by the Urge to such a degree that she can't fight it

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liviavanrouge · 3 months

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Livia Food Souls

Cappuccino and Mousse

Description: Two Food Souls Livia summoned before attending NRC. Both tend to baby her when she acts childish and leads her away from dangerous situations (Mainly Riddle's Temper Tantrums). The trio are close and tend to know when the other is upset or hiding something.

Tiger Salad

Description: A loyal Food Soul on Livia's team, Tiger Salad tends to swipe others food during lunch times causing brawls with the others that he managed to win. He's a main fighter on Livia's team against the Fallen and against those with bad intentions, almost always coming out on top. He's confused about what babying means and unconsciously does so with Livia.

Ruyi Roll

Description: Ruyi Roll gets along well with Livia, being another fighter on her team but more so a backup brawler, helping from a distance to defeat an enemy. He enjoys exploring with Livia using her Mini Mirror, finding the new places he shows her exciting and intriguing, especially when the new places are up in the sky. He doesn't baby Livia as much as the others do

Ganache

Description: The heart attacker of the group. He tends to sent Livia into a spiral of panic when he bugs people into fighting him, causing her to worry a great deal whenever he's in a brawl. Besides that he's a reliable asset to the group both fighting and friendship wise. He tends to baby Livia when she cries.

Feijoada

Description: Formerly a Food Soul of Livia's 1st Life self, he is resummoned and surprised to see Alya had been partially reincarnated. He's suspicious at first, thinking of this as a cruel joke but came around when Livia showed very clear signs of being Alya. He's loyal and not afraid to jump into a fight, finding Livia interesting since she sees Food Souls as friends and people rather than servants and objects to use. Another Soul that doesn't baby Livia.

Nori

Description: Nori finds the others and Livia interesting, sometimes showing them his origami and teaching them how to do it when they ask. He's the main one to carry Livia back to Diasomnia when she falls asleep in random places like Silver. He doesn't baby her aside from when she starts wailing and crying.

Ddeokbokki

Description: She's a fellow singer and tends to sing a lot with Livia or sing to her dancing. She gets along well with Cappuccino and Mousse, treating the two like brothers. She only babies Livia when she sees it fit and is not much of a fighter unless her friends are in danger.

Dong'an Chicken

Description: A food soul that didn't appear when summoned and hid out with Seaweed Salad in the orchard until Livia was ready for him. When he arrives and reveals himself, he joins the team as a main fighter, fighting alongside Ganache as a partial backup and defender. He does baby Livia but tones it down a little.

King Crab

Description: A Food Soul that was removed when Livia was a baby by Lilia, he is summoned again and replaces himself with Ddeokbokki temporarily, stating that Livia isn't strong enough to command him yet. He sticks around secretly protecting her and running from the Diasomnia guards as to keep his contract. He joins her team after nearly sacrificing himself to save her from a Fallen. He doesn't baby Livia and tries to help her become independent.

Bean paste Cake

Description: The Food Soul that's always out and at Livia's side, following her around and aiding her. He enjoys time with Livia and is visibly sad whenever she has him go into charm form. He's not a fighter, preferring to stick by Livia's side but is always seen reaching for her to protect her if an attack comes too close. He's a Food Soul that tends to baby her.

Orecchiette

Description: The Food Soul that always appear with Ogre in a fight, he never hesitates to jump in and help the Ogre Soldier. He's not seen on Livia's Charm bracelet but rather Kuro's who is pretending to be Ogre to keep his sister's identity as them hidden. He tends to scold Livia when she goes childish mode but will comfort her. He doesn't fight outside of Livia being Ogre and serves as a messenger for Livia and Queen Maleficia's letters.

Seaweed Salad

Description: A Food Soul on Livia's team that tends to be shy around her and the others but warms up after some time. He tends to be a defender on the battle field, using his hair as a barrier. He carries out chores for Livia and accompanies her when Bean is resting. He overly babies her more than the others.

Lotus Root with Sticky Rice

Description: A loyal and obedient Food Soul on the team. She's been tasked with keeping Lilia from being able to cook anything and helping with chores around the dorm. Livia tends to scold the Food Soul when they hide something bothering them from her, reminding her that they were friends and she could rely on her. Lotus doesn't baby Livia but is there when her childish side kicks in.

Princess Cake

Description: A Food Soul Livia made a contract with due to their slightly matching personalities, she takes over Bean's position with helping Livia, giving him more time to rest and make sure he's healthy emotionally, physically and mentally. She helps Livia with lady/princess duties and is always around for the girl when she needs her. She doesn't baby Livia but will actively follow her around to make sure she doesn't do anything dangerous.

Xiao Diao Pear Soup

Description: A team member on Livia's squad that she tends to play music with, getting taught different musical instruments. The two okay together outside or in Livia's room, making up music sheets for them to play together. He, like Princess Cake, doesn't baby Livia but will make sure she's safe during her childish mode.

Quamar Da-Lin

Description: A Food soul that follows Livia around like Princess Cake, he was tasked by his former Master Attendant, Nilo, to make a contract with Livia and keep his eyes on her. He tends to sneak around when Livia isn't looking but gets in trouble since Princess Cake catches on to him.

Falafei

Description: TBA

Tiger Skin Cake

Description: Summoned by Livia he finds her endearing and strange, liking to follow her around and see what she does all day. When he's not doing that he's with Feta Cheese or in Charm form.

Feta Cheese

Description: Summoned by Livia, he tends to keep his distance from her, only getting close when Livia initiates it. He, like Tiger Skin Cake, follows her around to see what she does after school or on the weekends.

Crispy Squab and Souvlaki

Description: Both were brought in at the same time, forming a contract with Livia. They tend to help around the school, mainly helping the Ramshackle group out under their friends order. The duo are rarely seen due to this but come and make daily reports before vanishing again.

Scone

Description: Another Food Soul rarely seen, he is usually helping Kalim and keeping an eye on Jamik after the whole OB incident. Knowing Livia doesn't blame Jamil for his outburst but rather understands him, Scone tries his best to not be too rude to the male whenever they interact.

Panna Cotta

Description: An untrusting Food Soul Livia has, he tends to assume she dislikes him whenever she returns certain Souls to their charm forms but becomes close with her when she brings them all to a festival and sends them all off to have fun.

Moussaka

Description: A Food Soul seen in Aura's dream protecting the Final Boss, he is a main healer on the team used to beat everyone. Not much more is known but it can be assumed he is summoned in Ch 8

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @marrondrawsalot @yumeko2sevilla @abyssthing198 @zexal-club

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